June 22, 2017 Print Edition

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2 | JUNE 2 2 , 2017

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6/14/2017 12:24:31 PM

JUNE 2 2 , 2 0 17 | 5

::NEWS&VIEWS FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK

GETTING THE

LEAD OUT Milwaukee faces the challenge of safe water ::BY DAN SHAW ilwaukee officials say that if the tainted-water scandal in Flint, Mich., has taught them one thing, it’s that no amount of lead exposure is safe.

Now, they are preparing to put the city’s money where their mouth is by embarking on what could well prove to be one of the largest public works projects in the city’s history: The replacement of the more than 76,000 lead water lines running to residences and businesses throughout the metropolitan area.

Estimates of the cost of that work run anywhere from $511 million to $756 million. Even if current plans are followed and the work is spread out over 50 years, it won’t be cheap.

And the lead pipe replacement is just one of the infrastructure projects city residents will be asked to pay for in coming years. A recent report from the nonprofit Public Policy Forum finds that city residents will soon be asked to pay more not just for service pipes, but also water mains, sanitary sewers and improvements to the general sewer system.

Making sure all of this doesn’t hit residents too hard will require an extraordinary degree of cooperation among the various government agencies that oversee different parts of the local sewer and water system.

6 | JUNE 22, 2017

“What is this going to mean for local government budgets? And what is it going to mean for taxpayers and for ratepayers?” said Rob Henken, president of the Public Policy Forum. “Often, decisions concerning these matters are made in vacuums. But if you are a homeowner, you are going to be impacted by all of this.”

The Public Policy Forum’s report, named “Beneath the Streets: The outlook for Metro Milwaukee’s largest water and sewer infrastructure assets” points out that Milwaukee Water Works’ responsibilities go well beyond lead service lines. Since 2014, for instance, the local utility has been under a state mandate calling for an accelerated replacement of water mains. These arteries of the city’s water distribution system have been breaking in recent years at or near what the state Public Service Commission considers an unacceptable rate.

Utility regulators are now requiring that 20 miles of these main lines be replaced a year starting in 2020, up from 15 miles this year and a mere 2.6 miles in 2012.

And the Milwaukee Water Works is only one of several local agencies with big infrastructure projects looming on the horizon. Sanitary sewers maintained by the Milwaukee Department of Public Works and the regional collector and treatment system run by the Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District will also need a substantial amount of repair and maintenance work in coming years.

Once again, local residents will be the ones paying, either through increased utility rates or higher property taxes. The Department of Public Works, for instance, has projected local sewer and wastewater fees will have to increase by between 3% and 5% a year.

Although many residents will no doubt want someone to blame for all these costs, local utilities and agencies receive praise in the Public Policy Forum’s report for prudently managing their assets and taking reasonable steps to keep costs down. But try telling that to someone trying to support a family on a low income.

“If your property taxes are going up 2 or 3% a year, and your sewer and storm water fees are going up 5% a year, and your MMSD share is going up 4% a year—in a city like Milwaukee, with a very high impoverished population— that’s where you have issues,” Henken said.

These costs will be lessened somewhat by the mere fact that they will be spread over taxpayers and ratepayers living in a fairly big metropolitan area. But for residents and business owners who actually have lead service lines running to their properties, there will be an additional and much more direct hit.

Private/Public Responsibility

The city is technically on the hook for replacing only the part of a service line leading from a water main to a private property owner’s lot line. Once across that line, the responsibility shifts to the private owner.

In making their service line replacement plans, city officials quickly recognized that stopping at the city-owned portion of pipe would do little to prevent lead from getting into the water used in someone’s home. Hence, last year Milwaukee adopted an ordinance requiring local residents to replace their part of a pipe when the city is doing sewer work nearby.

In imposing that mandate, city officials knew the cost to private residents could be steep. To help lessen the sting, they made property owners responsible for paying only a third of the total cost, up to a capped amount of $1,600.

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This commitment also promises to be expensive. But when it comes to protecting children from the dangers of lead poisoning, some argue that cost should not be the first consideration.

Lessening the Dangers

Alderman Nik Kovac, 3rd District, said he thinks city officials have done well putting forward a plan that will lessen the dangers of lead exposure while not proving too costly in the end.

“We think we have a fair and reasonable proposal,” he said. “We’ll have to see how it plays out in the first year.”

Even as city officials work to make service line replacement affordable, their plans are giving rise to another big question: If the city is going to spend possibly hundreds of millions to fight lead poisoning, might that money not be better spent cleaning up the thousands of residences in the city where children are still exposed to lead paint?

Even as the Flint catastrophe has put much of the attention on lead service lines, local health officials are able to point to nary a case that seems to have arisen from tainted water. Separately, the greatest gains seen in the city’s decades-long battle against lead have come from money spent to mitigate the dangers of exposed lead paint in old houses and apartments.

The Milwaukee Health Department notes for instance that the number of local children who were shown to have 5 micrograms in their system for every 10 deciliters of blood—an amount considered dangerous—has decreased by 69.3% since 2003. Chief Medical Officer Geoffrey Swain said those results—which he called one of his department’s “biggest triumphs”—were achieved almost entirely through work to reduce exposure to lead paint.

Swain said the dangers of flaky, exposed lead-based paint are undeniable. Whenever health inspectors look into a case of lead poisoning, “we almost always find a lead paint hazard.”

What’s more, Swain said there is no chance that Milwaukee officials will find themselves someday dealing with a disaster like the one seen in Flint. Even if local officials had not got that terrible example of what to avoid, they would be extremely careful to use anti-corrosive chemicals to prevent lead from leaching into the water.

But Swain said Milwaukee cannot completely wash its hands of its water system.

Lead can get into drinking water when service lines are unsettled, say, by work on nearby water mains. Simple precautions can greatly lessen the dangers—installing filters, letting tap water run for a few minutes before using it and turning on only the cold-water tap for drinking or cooking. But nothing guarantees everyone will take these steps.

For that reason, Swain said Milwaukee must ultimately replace its lead-service lines.

But if he were in charge of the city’s leadabatement efforts, he would still put the bulk of the money into the battle against lead paint.

“I feel like if it’s a zero-sum game, and we only have a certain amount of money to invest in lead-hazard remediation, I would invest 2-to-1 in paint remediation to water remediation,” he said.

Henken said residents will be able to get a better sense of what all this will cost in the fall, when the Milwaukee Water Works presents its formal budget plans. Henken said the Public Policy Forum’s “Beneath the Streets” report is meant in large part to remind local officials that lead service lines are just one piece of the local infrastructure puzzle. An even bigger goal, though, is to get them thinking about what paying for it all will mean for local residents.

“The big question is: What is going to be affordable here?” Henken said. “Do local governments have the capacity to raise the revenues to take care of their infrastructure or do we have to look at new funding sources?”

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Ordinary things made extraordinary MYTHOLOGIES: EUGENE VON BRUENCHENHEIN opens June 25 Eugene Von Bruenchenhein, No. 588 (detail), 1957; oil paint on fiberboard; 25 x 25 in.

John Michael Kohler Arts Center Collection.

Once again, local residents will be the ones paying, either through increased utility rates or higher property taxes.

The Department of Public Works, for instance, has projected local sewer and wastewater fees will have to increase by between 3% and 5% a year.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

JUNE 22, 2017 | 7

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE

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Looking Back at 50 Years of Summerfest Milwaukee Executive Howard Schnoll reflects on ‘Henry Maier’s idea’ ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

S

UMMERFEST WAS BORN IN A TIME OF UNREST during the “long hot summers” of the late 1960s, but while the 1967 Milwaukee riot may have spurred the idea of providing the city with fun and distraction, Summerfest was actually conceived several years earlier. As Summerfest celebrates its 50th season this year, Howard Schnoll, a festival board member or advisor for all these years and chairman from 2004-2007, reflects on the event’s early days and its steady evolution into the world’s largest music festival.

“It was Henry Maier’s idea,” Schnoll says, crediting Summerfest to Milwaukee’s longserving mayor (1960-1988). Inspired by Munich’s famed Oktoberfest, Maier toyed with calling it Juli Spass, German for “July Fun.” But common sense soon dictated a more inclusive if still vaguely Teutonic name. and Miller were on board, as was Vince Lombardi, whose Packers played half their season in Milwaukee.

“How did I get involved?”

Schnoll continues. “Howard Meister was Summerfest’s original president. I was his accountant.”

At the time, Schnoll was a partner of Nankin, Schnoll and Company. He left accounting in 1990 and is now senior vice president with the Schilffarth Schnoll Krieg Group of RBC Wealth Management.

Summerfest’s first executive director, Willard Masterson, was chosen for his experience running the Wisconsin State Fair, Schnoll recalls.

However, in its earliest incarnation, Summerfest bore little resemblance to the annual fair in West Allis. For one thing, Summerfest originally had no location of its own, but was scattered across 35 Howard Schnoll sites in a gesture of embracing the entire metro area.

The musical headliner that first year, the peppy singing Summerfest ’68, as the debut event was billed, group Up With People, certainly fell short of Paul became possible through the support of MilwauSimon, Tom Petty and any number of acts that kee’s old guard corporate leaders. “Henry Maier have filled the Marcus Amphitheater in recent would always talk to businessmen in the city,” years. But Summerfest ’68 also boasted 10 polka Schnoll says. “John Kelly, the president of Midbands at the Milwaukee Auditorium, a stock car land Bank—Henry would literally call him at 2 race at State Fair Park, a Downtown midway, a or 3 in the morning!” tennis tournament in Fox Point and a powerboat The festival’s early boosters included many race from Milwaukee to Chicago. Summerfest of the region’s power brokers. Long before he included a “Youth Fest” with rock bands at Bradwas namesake for a ship (and a hit song), Edford Beach and a “Salute to Afro-Americans” mund Fitzgerald of Northwestern Mutual lent with music and dance at Lincoln Park. his prestige to the nascent project. Ben Barkin, Summerfest ’69 followed a similar formula. better remembered as founder of the Great CirIt was a beautiful idea in its quirky way, a citycus Parade, was a pillar in the early days, as was wide festival with something for everybody, but, Ben Marcus. The beer barons of Schlitz, Pabst

as Schnoll adds, “financially it didn’t work out at all.” The following year, Summerfest finally found its lakefront home at a recently decommissioned military installation, one of the Nike missile bases that protected Milwaukee during the Cold War from the Soviet air raid that never came.

The missile silos were still standing in 1970, ringed by snow fences to prevent gawkers from becoming casualties. The grounds were unkempt and muddy, which in the aftermath of Woodstock was no impediment to youthful revelers seeking rock music and high times in the open air. Summerfest stumbled onto its identity that year; although it had no permanent purpose-built stages until 1974, it became known as a music festival with a cavalcade of bands. 1970 was also the year when Summerfest adopted its grinning logo, the work of local designers Noel Spangler and Richard D. Grant. Former Green Bay Packer Henry Jordan took charge that year as executive director, a position he would hold until 1977.

The early ’70s were still madcap times with Schnoll, under police escort, racing in the early morning hours to the nearest First Wisconsin Bank night deposit box with the day’s receipts. Tickets were weighed on scales to estimate each day’s attendance. Beer sales flourished. After a few years, Summerfest turned to local restaurateurs for food service on the grounds. According to Schnoll, Saz’s, Venice Club, Major Goolsby’s and Wong’s Wok were among the early vendors. Trial and error continued. A midway operated for a few years until complaints over rowdy crowds shut the rides down. One year, the Great Circus Parade wound through Downtown and ended on the Summerfest grounds. “We just couldn’t support it,” Schnoll says. It became obvious that Summerfest’s future rode on music, beer and food.

In the ’80s, with the hiring of Bo Black as executive director and Bob Babisch as music director, attendance at the annual lakefront festival reached previously unimagined heights. Corporate sponsors rehabilitated the stages. The Marcus Amphitheater opened in 1987, making Summerfest more attractive to platinum-level performers.

But success had a downside by the end of Black’s tenure in 2003. Many complained that the grounds were too crowded, that walking through Summerfest became an elbowing, jostling, beer-spilling frustration. A course correction came after 2004 with the arrival of Don Smiley as Summerfest’s CEO. Schnoll credits him with opening more space on the grounds, “slimming down the crowds” and making the festival more family friendly.

“The biggest challenge was figuring out how we were going to do what we were going to do,” Schnoll says of Summerfest 50 years ago. “We didn’t have as clear a vision in those days. But we always wanted to make it accessible to Milwaukee. There were always lots of free tickets available through sponsors. To this day it’s still the best value out there with 800 bands—you can bring in canned goods and pay nothing. We have seniors day and kids day. It was always our intent that people get a good value.”

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::

SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY

E

Look For The

( JUNE 22 - 28, 2017 )

ach week, the Shepherd Express will serve as a clearinghouse for any and all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Trump administration and other activities that promote social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinking/discussion get-togethers or any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.

Thursday, June 22

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SHEPHERD EXPRESS

co

The Milwaukee Coalition Against Trump is organizing a protest against Trump’s actions on Cuba, which they say is a “step back to Cold War-style relations,” and Venezuela, of which they say, “Trump and the Republicans continue to support the most violent, far-right groups in Venezuela that are fighting to end 18 years of progressive government.”

ir.

Trump—Hands Off Cuba & Venezuela @ U.S. Federal Court House (517 E. Wisconsin Ave.), noon-1:30 p.m.

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Every Saturday, from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war. Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterwards.

af

Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ Corner of North Avenue and Dr. Martin Luther King Drive, noon-1 p.m.

Refuel the Resistance @ Bounce Milwaukee (2801 S. Fifth Court), 5-8 p.m.

cr

Saturday, June 24

Wednesday, June 28

Proud Media Sponsor: Shepherd Express

ne

The Milwaukee branch of the Industrial Workers of the World and Ex Prisoners Organizing are hosting a picket outside of the Milwaukee County Courthouse to protest the MSDF. The protest will be in solidarity with the National Religious Campaign Against Torture.

On the grounds of the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts and Red Arrow Park

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Milwaukee Secure Dentention Facility (MSDF) Picket @ Milwaukee County Courthouse (901 N. 9th St.), noon-1:30 p.m.

This forum aims to “arm attendees with knowledge and action steps to fight the current attacks on healthcare.” Speakers include Robert Kraig, executive director of Citizen Action Wisconsin and Dr. Bill Reed, a retired physician and current advocate for Physicians for a National Health Program.

Presented for the 43rd year by the Wisconsin Designer Crafts Council

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Friday, June 23

Community Healthcare Forum @ Cardinal Stritch Camille Kliebhan Conference Center (6801 N. Yates Road, Fox Point), 1-3 p.m.

FREE ADMISSION

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The Milwaukee Preservation Alliance and the National Trust for Historic Preservation have teamed up to create the Save Our Domes Coalition. This launch event is free and open to the public. Attendees will also receive Save Our Domes swag.

There will be a march going from Olympia Brown Unitarian Church to Monument Square in Downtown Racine. A rally will then be held.

Participants are encouraged to bring signs and flags.

in

Save Our Domes Coalition Launch @ Clarke Park, 6 p.m.

LGBTQ March and Rally @ Olympia Brown Unitarian Church (625 College Ave., Racine), 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

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“Resisting President Trump and Governor Walker’s anti-environmental agendas can test even the most battle-hardened conservationists,” says the event’s Facebook page. For $20, participants will receive four pours of Lakefront beer, appetizers and a special tour.

Sunday, June 25

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Drink. Resist. Recycle! @ Lakefront Brewery (1872 N. Commerce St.), 5:30-8 p.m.

August 12 & 13, 2017 10am-5pm 929 N. Water Street Downtown Milwaukee

Ceramics | Digital Art | Fiber | Glass | Jewelry | Leather | Metal Mixed Media | Photography | Printmaking | Sculpture | Wood

SHANK

HALL

1434 N FARWELL AVE • 276-7288 • www.SHANKHALL.COM • all shows 21+ Tickets available at Shank Hall Box Office, 866-468-3401, or at ticketweb.com

Thurs 6/22

FRI 6/23

SUN 6/25

Every Wednesday, Bounce Milwaukee offers a space to organize, as well as a free drink to anyone who brings evidence of resistance in the past week, including protest signs, an email to an elected official or a selfie at the capital.

The Hidden Impact of Segregation on Waukesha County @ Waukesha Public Library (321 Wisconsin Ave., Waukesha), 6:30-8 p.m.

Reggie Jackson, head griot of America’s Black Holocaust Museum, will lead a presentation that looks at the historical forces that create residential segregation. This event is free to the public.

To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com.

Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that this administration has planned for our great country.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

STEVE FORBERT

THE SKINTS

FATES WARNING

SAM LLANAS

THE TRITONICS

INFINITE SPECTRUM

MON 6/26

TUES 6/27

WED 6/28

FORGOTTEN SPACE 8 PM $15

COREY FELDMAN & THE ANGELS 8 PM $20/$75 VIP

8 PM $25

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7:30 PM $15

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7/6 SELWYN BIRCHWOOD 7/13 PROFESSOR LOUIE & THE CROWMATIX 7/15 BRANDY CLARK, NORA COLLINS JUNE 22, 2017 | 9

NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

Sheriff Clarke’s Disappearing, Big, Important, Government Job ::BY JOEL MCNALLY

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ilwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke says he won’t take that big, important, government job that the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) says was only tentatively offered to him. It’s one of those classic good news, bad news stories.

The good news is there’s no longer a threat Clarke’s hateful and dangerous approach to law enforcement could endanger human lives across the country the way it has in Milwaukee. The bad news, of course, is that for now anyway Clarke’s still Milwaukee County’s sheriff.

A lot of really good folks in Milwaukee were desperately hoping Clarke would finally land the job in the Trump administration he’s been publicly groveling after for a year. It wasn’t because anyone considered Clarke remotely qualified for federal office. Few Trump appointees are.

But many were eager for Clarke to leave town for the safety of anyone incarcerated in Clarke’s jail and minorities cruising the Lakefront, just to name a couple of places where Clarke’s hostile

attitude toward citizens and poor management of his own staff have resulted in deadly incidents lately.

Clarke dashed everyone’s hopes by announcing late Friday he was withdrawing as a possible assistant secretary in the Department of Homeland Security. Clarke claimed a month ago he was taking that job, which never received approval from the Secretary of Homeland Security, retired general John F. Kelly.

Just hours before Clarke issued his withdrawal, the department announced once again there was no appointment. “Such senior positions are announced by the department when made official by the secretary,” it said. “No such announcement … has been made.” The Washington Post obtained a copy of a tentative job offer to Clarke that stated the position was subject to final approval by the office of personnel management, which never came. After Clarke publicly withdrew, the department announced: “Sheriff Clarke is no longer being considered for a position within DHS. We wish him well.”

Craig Peterson, a local political adviser to Clarke, added a couple of other bizarre details to Clarke’s announcement. Peterson said Clarke met with Donald Trump at last Tuesday’s fundraiser in Milwaukee. “Sheriff Clarke is 100% committed to the success of President Trump,” Peterson said, “and believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.”

Aggressively committing himself 100% to

promoting Trump’s volatile, destructive presidency is certainly not part of Clarke’s job description as Milwaukee County sheriff.

Clarke’s Right-Wing Media Career Calls That sounds like a description of Clarke’s more lucrative side career as a popular African American inflammatory speaker to white supremacists and other militaristic, anti-government hate groups. Clarke’s speeches to such groups attacking black protesters against unequal treatment by police as “garbage,” “subhuman creeps” and “slime [that] needs to be eradicated from American society” have been cited by the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks racism, anti-Semitism and dangerous, right-wing extremism nationally.

Peterson also added: “Sheriff Clarke is reviewing options inside and outside of government.” So once again Clarke is holding out hope he could soon be leaving local law enforcement.

Clarke has devoted very little attention to his job as sheriff in recent years anyway.

That still hasn’t stopped the continuing deadly consequences of the ugly top-down culture of contempt for human life Clarke has created within his department. Shortly before Clarke claimed he was being promoted by Trump, an inquest jury recommended felony criminal charges against seven of Clarke’s jail staff, including the former jail commander, for shutting off water to the cell of a mentally ill inmate for seven days

to punish him, resulting in his dehydration death.

Just a week and a half ago, a sheriff’s deputy fired blindly into a moving vehicle that drove onto a Lakefront median in bumper-to-bumper traffic after a minor traffic violation. The shots killed the driver and wounded one of two passengers.

No one knows whether the likelihood of perpetual embarrassment from Clarke ended the possibility of a Trump appointment to reward the sheriff for his political support. It’s difficult to imagine Trump ever worries all that much about public embarrassments, which have become a hallmark of his presidency.

The important thing is that Clarke be removed from local government in any way possible.

Since Clarke’s appointment as sheriff by Republican Gov. Scott McCallum in 2002, he has shown no real understanding of the job or any ability to work with other local officials in the criminal justice system. Clarke’s real talent and his own increasing interest has been in building a public personality within the right-wing media, in the words of a shady national political fundraising effort on his behalf, as “the black Rush Limbaugh with a badge.”

The sooner Clarke turns in his badge and becomes a full-time inflammatory right-wing media personality, the better. Loudmouth right-wing media personalities promote a lot of public ignorance in modern-day America, but it rarely ever kills anybody.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

NEWS&VIEWS::POLL You Don’t Believe Congress and Special Counsel Robert Mueller Will Get to the Bottom of Russia’s Interference in the U.S. Presidential Election Last week we asked if you believe that the House and the Senate’s investigative committees and special counsel Robert Mueller will get to the bottom of Russia’s interference in the U.S. presidential election. You said: n Yes: 43%n No: 57%

What Do You Say? The U.S. Supreme Court announced that it will hear the case to determine if Wisconsin Republicans’ redistricting maps are too partisan. Do you believe the U.S. Supreme Court will order Wisconsin to redraw our legislative maps so the majority of legislative districts are competitive and voters will actually have a real choice between a Democrat and Republican? n Yes n No Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.

10 | J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::ISSUEOFTHEWEEK The Issue of the Week expresses the Shepherd Express’ opinion on an important issue in the news. It is usually written by the Shepherd’s editor, but at times we invite someone outside of the paper who is either working in the field or has some other level of expertise. Their names and affiliation will be listed at the end of the column.

Health Care For Everyone

A closer look at the public option ::BY KEVIN KANE

A

lmost every American shares a common belief that the U.S. health system must immediately change from where we are now.

And deep down, most of us believe that our health system suffers from too many for-profit entities seeking their cut. But a simple solution is now out there: Bring back the public option.

One of the Affordable Care Act’s biggest problems is that we have left our health care too much in the hands of private companies. Health insurance companies jack up premiums faster than inflation, confident that tax credits will still ensure enrollment. Insurers pick and choose which markets and counties they sell in, a form of redlining that leaves us at their mercy. Pharmaceutical corporations increase drug prices, knowing that we don’t have the leverage to negotiate. Something must give, and our democracy holds an answer.

During the original debate over the Affordable Care Act, many progressives fought for a “Public Option”—a government-run not-forprofit coverage option to compete with private insurance—as a way to rein in prices through competition. They argued it would hold insurance companies accountable, challenge skyrocketing prices and ensure that consumers weren’t at the mercy of where insurers felt like selling. Many argued it would be a way to get to a “Medicare-for-All” system by outcompeting the private market itself. These progressive visionaries were right. We’ve been suffering as a society without the public option. Finally, this option would not cost Wisconsin taxpayers a nickel; actually the state would get paid for administering it.

There’s still time, even in Trump’s America How do we know that public coverage would do a better job? Because every day in every Wisconsin community public coverage like BadgerCare provides care at a fraction of the cost of private insurance. Today, more than 700,000 are enrolled through BadgerCare, Wisconsin’s Medicaid program for children and moderate-income families that was signed into law by Republican Gov. Tommy Thompson. It’s time to open it up to everyone.

Wisconsin Democrats led by State Rep. Eric Genrich (D-Green Bay) will be introducing legSHEPHERD EXPRESS

islation to open BadgerCare to all. To allow any individual and any small business no matter their income to enroll in BadgerCare as a public option. It’s an idea whose time has come.

It turns out it’s not difficult; Wisconsin law already allows for BadgerCare to be purchased by those over the poverty line but it is complicated and few do it. But with one word change to state law, we can make BadgerCare into a public option available to the vast majority of our state’s residents. This is a perfect example of the states taking the lead. Currently, states including Nevada and Minnesota are taking steps in this direction.

The benefits would be immediate. Every community would have a new not-for-profit government-run health plan with a long history of success. BadgerCare already negotiates with pharmaceutical corporations for lower prices, has much lower out-of-pocket costs, and costs far less per month than private insurance. This public option would ensure that every county in Wisconsin would have at least one plan and, again, it wouldn’t cost state taxpayers anything.

We could even further use our democracy’s power through a public option to drive better care. Other states are using their Medicaid programs (like BadgerCare) to drive a calcified hospital industry forward and ensure front-line health workers are paid a living wage. We can never expect to see any of these results by relying on the private sector alone to gift it to us; we must use the strength of our democratic government to point to a better world and begin the steps toward it.

Doing nothing means leaving healthcare in the hands of corporate boards. Repeal means sabotaging the freedom of 23 million Americans. But treating the Affordable Care Act as the foundation that is in place to build upon, we can make the ACA successful by instituting bold solutions such as a BadgerCare Public Option available to all!

Kevin Kane is the organizing director at Citizen Action of Wisconsin.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com.

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::DINING

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FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK

Chef Fabio Viviani and Johnsonville Sausage Team Up For ‘Dinner Is Served’

::BY SHEILA JULSON

hen a fire destroyed Johnsonville Sausage’s production plant in Watertown, Wis., in May 2015, the company was faced with some challenging decisions. As the following year was spent rebuilding the plant, Johnsonville kept their 150-plus employees—or members—on the payroll and maintained their benefits in return for volunteering in the community and attending classes to enhance their work skills. Embodying “The Johnsonville Way,” company management and employees teamed up like family to overcome adversity.

To celebrate the Watertown comeback and thank their members, Johnsonville enlisted celebrity chef Fabio Viviani as a partner to prepare a gourmet dinner, support a local football team and to give a Johnsonville member the opportunity to train with Viviani at his Los Angeles restaurant. The efforts are documented in the three-part narrative web series “Dinner Is Served” (johnsonville.com/dinnerisserved).

“We had been wondering for a while on how we would celebrate the great work that members did starting a new plant,” recalled Dana Presley, the Johnsonville plant manager featured in the series. “We had talked about doing a dinner for the members, and we started working with our members in marketing. They came up with the idea to use an Italian chef. Once we had the thought of using an Italian chef, the whole idea started to come together for the surprise.”

12 | J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7

Each of the three episodes is less than six minutes long. “Watertown Surprise” highlights the initial rebuilding efforts and the gourmet appreciation dinner. In “Football Surprise,” two Johnsonville members—an uncle and his nephew on the Jefferson County Chargers football team—received word that Johnsonville had a surprise for the athletes, as well as a pasta and sausage meal prepared by Viviani. “L.A. Surprise” documents Johnsonville team leader Garrid Neitzel’s training with Viviani at his restaurant.

Neitzel was chosen because he best represents some of the values that Johnsonville has, Presley said. As a young leader in the plant, he has always taken ownership when opportunities arise and has shown concern for his team members and dedication to caring for his family. Neitzel had always liked to cook, particularly Italian food. “That first day I met him, it was like we had known each other for years. He’s a great guy and an even better chef. Training with a worldrenowned chef is something I never, ever thought I would do. The whole experience was memorable and something that I can carry forever.”

Viviani was also inspired by the experience. “I’ve been a part of many projects, but the “Dinner Is Served” project is a one-of-a-kind project that I have the honor to be a part of,” he stated. “Seeing how the community came together to help rebuild the facility was really moving.”“Dinner Is Served” also includes four cooking videos demonstrating the featured recipes, all made with Johnsonville’s Italian sausage. “I took four of my favorite Italian recipes that are simple, traditional and comforting recipes and added a Johnsonville twist. To me, the dishes capture the sense of family togetherness that Johnsonville represents,” Viviani stated.

Viviani added that, throughout the experience, he met some great people and made new friends along the way. “Showing that we are both investing in our community and our members shows that the company is living up to one of our main principles of loving our neighbors,” Presley remarked.

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Breakfast items include a build-your-own omelet option, pancakes, thickly or thinly cut French toast, Ted’s eggs benedict, and a Belgian waffle topped with homemade ice cream. Specialty sandwiches include the French dip; Philly cheesesteak; Colorado Special with Muenster, grilled ham and red onion on rye; and the Ted’s grilled cheese (American cheese, bacon and tomato on Turano Italian bread). Offering the classic cheeseburger and the classic hamburger, Ted’s also prepares the Boss Burger, a one-third-pound charbroiled patty on a garlic roll with French fries and choice of salad or delicious soup. (Emily Patti)

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DININGOUT::EAT/DRINK

The Naked Baker Strips Cookies of Artificial Ingredients ::BY SHEILA JULSON

S

ue Knutson had always loved to bake and even considered going to culinary school before getting a degree in accounting.

After becoming a stay-at-home mom to her four sons—three of whom are triplets—she became the unofficial school baker, bringing in treats for bake sales, birthdays and classroom functions. Known as “The Cookie Lady,” Knutson frequently got suggestions from other moms that she start selling her cookies. That planted the seed for her cookie company, The Naked Baker.

She started the business by offering decorated cookies, which proved to be too laborious to grow into a sustainable business model.

She decided to transition to grocery store product, and frozen cookie dough was her first offering. Winning the 2015 Hottest Kitchen Challenge helped Knutson take her business to the next step.

The cookie dough was well received at retail outlets, including Outpost Natural Foods.

“Outpost suggested that I offer a gluten-free product,” Knutson said. “That’s something that I hadn’t really thought about, but last summer I started offering gluten-free baked cookies, and they were a huge hit. I started making them for Outpost, and I could not believe how many cookies I was selling.”

Consumer demand has taken Knutson from cookie dough to nearly 100% gluten-free baked and packaged cookies and brownies.

Customers also seem to want fast and easy, making ready-to-eat products even more convenient than cookie dough that requires heating an oven and cleaning cookie sheets.

Knutson believes much of the success of her gluten-free cookies comes from a flour blend she developed that allows her to change any cookie recipe to gluten-free. She sells to many people who aren’t on gluten-free diets, but who love her cookies.

Hence the name “The Naked Baker”— SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Knutson’s cookies are made pure and basic, with no added chemical preservatives or genetically modified (GMO) ingredients.

“That’s the way I eat,” she said. “There’s so much junk on the market, and maybe that’s why so many people are developing allergies and need to go gluten free. Our gluten-free peanut butter cookie has five ingredients: peanut butter, vanilla, sugar, eggs and sea salt.”

Knutson developed all of her recipes. She currently offers nine varieties of cookies. The Sea Salt Chocolate Chip tastes like a traditional, moist, chocolate chip cookie with a hint of salt to balance the bittersweet chocolate. The two lemon varieties offer tangy delights—the perfect accompaniment for summer party spreads. Other varieties include three oatmeal selections (one with cranberries), a sugar cookie, the Peanut Butter Bomb and the Chocolate Duet. Five brownies and a blondie bar are also available. Knutson partners with Becky’s Blissful Bakery for the caramel used in the Mother Load—a turtle-style brownie.

Knutson hopes to get GMO-free certification as she expands the business due to its tremendous growth. She hopes to expand to fastcasual restaurants that offer gluten-free food but not desserts. She also takes custom orders for businesses and organizations. Naked Baker products can be ordered online or found at Outpost Natural Foods, Good Harvest Market, Metcalf’s in Wauwatosa and Sendik’s in Brookfield. This summer, Knutson will be at the Tosa Farmers Market, West Town Market at Zeidler Union Square and the NEWaukee Night Market.

For more information, visit thenakedbakercookies.com.

A HEALTHY TASTING TWIST ON COOKING ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN Finding new and healthy twists is the ticket for Pamela Salzman’s latest cookbook, Kitchen Matters. Nachos? She offers Greek nachos made with pita chips, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, feta, Kalamata olives, tzatziki and humus. Or how about Brussels sprouts and quinoa hash? Plant-based foods are at the forefront, but she’s not vegetarian and includes a half-dozen recipes, each for chicken and fish, along with balsamic herb flank steak and slow-cooked Italian pot roast. Many useful tips are included, including an answer to the pressing question: “What about a red dot on the egg yolk or whites?” It’s nothing to worry about, Salzman says.

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::SPORTS

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Brewers Draft History has had Big Hits, Big Misses

::BY MATTHEW J. PRIGGE

T

his past week, the Brewers made their selections in the 2017 MLB Draft. The Crew made some bold choices, and some noted that they seemed to have a “boom or bust” attitude in their highround picks. The ability to draft and develop star players is as essential in today’s game as it has ever been. But the draft is a wildly inexact science.

Producing a good crop of a talent from the draft is, at best, equal parts skill and luck.

Looking back at the Brewers’ draft history, they have had more than their share of hard luck and botched picks, the results of which have contributed greatly to their down years.

Furthermore, they have also proven that

drafting talent is only one part of the equation, as some of the biggest names in franchise draft history refused to sign and later became stars with other organizations. On the other hand, the Brewers have drafted and signed a pair of first-ballot Hall of Famers—something only three other franchises have done over the same time span—and have a surprising track record of first-round success.

Even as they have developed their minor league system into one of the best in baseball, it has been a while since the Brewers have drafted an impact player. The 2012 draft was the most recent in which players drafted by the Brewers appeared with the MLB team (Damien Magnifico, Brent Suter and Tyler Wagner), and you need to go back to 2010

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(Jimmy Nelson and Tyler Thornburg) to find any players who have become regulars.

Jonathan Lucroy (2007) is the most recent allstar the Brewers have drafted.

Four Future All-Stars The 2006 draft might have been a bonanza for the Brewers. The team drafted four future all-stars, including an MVP and a Cy Young Award winner. Unfortunately for the Crew, two of those players (Jake Arrieta and Andrew Bailey) did not sign, and another (Michael Brantley) was traded before making the majors. The 88.5 (and counting) wins above replacement (WAR) of that year’s Brewers draftees ranks as the second-highest total in team history, bested only by the Paul Molitorled class of 1977.

Of course, it is not uncommon for players drafted in later rounds not to sign and find stardom elsewhere. The Brewers drafted Hunter Pence in the 40th round in 2002 and tagged Jason Giambi in the 43rd round in 1989. But occasionally, a high-round pick will also hold out, hoping for a bigger contract or to be picked up by a more favorable organization the following year. The Brewers missed out on two future stars this way, failing to sign

first-round pick Alex Fernandez in 1988 and fifth-rounder Nomar Garciaparra in 1991.

Ignoring the three most recent drafts, the Brewers have had at least one member of their draft class make the majors, although not always in Milwaukee. The very worst Brewers draft of all time might have been that of 1975, when only a single player (19th-rounder Bob Stoddard, who did no sign) eventually made the bigs. The 1973 draft class also produced just a single major leaguer, but that class also showed that one player—in this case, California high schooler Robin Yount—can make a draft.

Yount and Molitor in 1977 were both first-round picks. Even with such recent high-profile flops like Matt LaPorta, Antone Williamson and J.M. Gold, and with six top10 picks between 1971 and 1978 accounting for all of 89 major league appearances, the Brewers have been historically skilled at finding talent in the first round. Brewers’ first rounders include Yount, Molitor, Darrell Porter, B.J. Surhoff, Gary Sheffield, Gorman Thomas, Geoff Jenkins, Ben Sheets, Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun. Brewers’ number ones who reached the majors have averaged 15.2 career WAR among them, which is easily the highest in Major League history and more than 70% higher than average for such first rounders’ WAR. Of course, only time will tell if the Brewers’ recent drafts produce big league talent and, boom or bust, the impact of these drafts will be felt for years to come.

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::A&E

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Barbara Stanwyck: The First Modern Movie Star? ::BY STEVE SPICE

arbara Stanwyck had the ability to make the ordinary seem extraordinary, to make the commonplace seem remarkable and the mundane seem unique. There was always something effortless about her screen persona, yet her beautifully modulated, fullbodied speaking voice clearly showed that she practiced her craft with care. It would underestimate her ability to label her a natural actress. Her performances seemed almost sleight-of-hand, rarely bearing signature trademarks, but the subtlety of her craft was always apparent. She was neither over- nor understated.

If Stanwyck had a specific performance style, it seemed to originate from some spontaneous inner resource that was quintessentially Barbara. As the Bard would say, she was always to her own self true. She made even lesser films seem eminently watchable even if she never had the “great star” trappings typical of other Golden Age actresses. Yet there was a tensile strength to her roles that bespoke a quiet determination to maintain her status no matter what. Stanwyck never allowed her assurance to forgo the struggle it took to get where she was. In a sense, she defines the proud independence of the modern woman emerging in a man’s world. By the same token her likeability factor comes through with the same feminine confidence that defines her best performances. “Hard won” would be an understatement in describing her career.

18 | J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7

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Born Ruby Stevens, she lost both parents by the time she was 4. She avoided the truant officers, and with the help of sister, Mildred, did some underage hoofing at vaudeville and burlesque shows. When approached by management to do comedy skits, she replied, “I’m no actress, I can’t do lines.”Yet after a brief stint in silent films, she would move on to become the standard bearer of the lowbrow ladies of leisure in the early 1930s. She was widely admired for Stella Dallas (1937), where her character knowingly conceals her trashy underpinnings to give her daughter a better life. It was the first role to express her true range.

Her popularity soared under the tutelage of Frank Capra and Ernst Lubitsch, who fashioned her effervescent volatility in two classic comedies, The Lady Eve (1941) and Ball of Fire (1941). In both films, she hoodwinks unsuspecting males with her special brand of aggressive femininity, which, combined with guileless but never-less-than genuine warmth, carries all before it. By the 1940s, her roles took on a new brand of sophistication that never belied her humble upbringings, but were classically earmarked by her elegant leading lady posture and trademark squareshouldered walk. Stanwyck’s affectations never seemed pretentious, and her unassuming persona was evident even in lesser films that remain perennially watchable.

She never played an entirely unsympathetic character until her greatest and most famous role, the seductive, murderous wife in Billy Wilder’s unforgettable noir classic, Double Indemnity (1944). By then Stanwyck had developed her craft to the point where she could drain her characterization of all compassion and give a sublimely effortless, understated performance that gave no quarter or strove for the slightest empathy. “I’m rotten to the heart—never loved anybody,” she murmurs. It was a merciless characterization that finally placed her in the path of great actresses.

Yet for all her acclaim, Stanwyck was not often taken seriously. After Double Indemnity, she seldom received roles befitting her abilities, but she brought an earnestness to her later performances that made the material seem significant. Post-Indemnity she was often handed standard melodramas. Audiences responded to her pyrotechnics even if they did not take her roles too seriously. Unfortunately, the declining level of her material, combined with an increasingly clipped delivery, concealed what she was really capable of. Despite what Stanwyck had so often demonstrated in the past, she was pegged as a melodrama queen rather than a great actress.

She disfigured her rival with a pair of scissors in The Furies (1950). She pursued an aging Gary Cooper in Blowing Wild (1953). She was strident and ludicrous as a lesbian in Walk on the Wild Side (1962). Her increasingly relentless performances made these bad films seem excitingly hilarious as her burnished elegance compensated for the problematic screenplays. She added a touch of class to anything she endeavored. She remains eternally fascinating and her abilities seem more appreciated in retrospect.

As film historian Dave Thompson put it, “At her death it was clear how widely she was loved. She was honest, sharp, gutsy, and smart. Terrific.”

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::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE FRIDAY, JUNE 23

La La Land in Concert @ The Riverside Theater, 8 p.m.

If we see more original musical films in the coming years— and it’s a safe bet we will—you can thank the runaway success of La La Land for that. Damien Chazelle’s Ryan Gosling/Emma Stone romantic comedy was a massive hit with audiences and critics alike, winning a record seven Golden Globes and six Academy Awards (and thanks to the Oscar’s instantly infamous gaffe, it was briefly handed a seventh). With its candy-colored visuals, the movie was meant to be seen on the big screen, and it’s likely to seem even grander at these two weekend screenings, which will feature a live accompaniment from the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra. (Also Saturday, June 24.)

Greek Fest @ State Fair Park, 11 a.m.

The Greeks have given so much wonderful art, literature and philosophy to the world that it’s easy to overlook one of their other great contributions: discovering a cheese that tastes absolutely incredible when you light it on fire. You can grab some of said cheese, along with a customary gyro or souvalki, at Milwaukee’s annual Greek Festival, now in its 52nd year, but food is hardly this festival’s only draw. Traditional performances, including dancing and music, keep the crowd on their feet, and there’s also a Greek market and a midway with carnival rides. (Through Sunday, June 25.)

SATURDAY, JUNE 24 Dummerfest @ The Metal Grill, 1 p.m.

Back in 2015, The Metal Grill in Cudahy hosted Dummerfest, a one-day blowout featuring a marathon of punk, pop-punk and hardcore bands. The festival didn’t return in 2016, but that doesn’t mean it was a one-and-done affair: It hosts its belated second installment this weekend, with a lineup featuring acts from labels like Epitaph and Fat Wreck Chords, including Milwaukee pop-punk mainstays Direct Hit! Other acts on the bill include Off With Their Heads, Negative Approach, Pears, The Copyrights, Typesetter, The Brokedowns, Rational Anthem, Head Collector, 83 Wolfpack and Avenues.

SUNDAY, JUNE 25 Garlic Fest @ Braise, noon-4 p.m.

Yes, you really can smell Garlic Fest from blocks away. Each summer a slew of Walker’s Point restaurants crowd Second Street for Braise’s annual Garlic Fest, now in its seventh year, offering a variety of pungent, garlic-based dishes. The event also features music, crafts, arts vendors, garlic-themed games and drinks from local distillers and brewers. Looking to wash that garlicy taste out of your mouth? The festival’s green garlic Bloody Marys are probably the wrong thing to order, then, but that doesn’t stop them from hitting the spot.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 28 Red Hot Chili Peppers w/ Deerhoof and Jack Irons @ American Family Insurance Amphitheater, 7:30 p.m.

Few people pegged Red Hot Chili Peppers as the kind of band that would be around for decades when they first debuted in the early ’80s with a decidedly youthful blend of funk, punk and hip-hop. But here we are 30 years later, and they’ve proven themselves one of the bestselling bands of all time, selling more than 80 million records. And amazingly, they still sound pretty youthful—on their 11th studio album, 2016’s The Getaway, they proved that they still have energy to burn. The record marks a first for the group: It’s their first time recording with producer Danger Mouse. He inherited the boards from Rick Rubin, who’d been the band’s go-to producer for 25 years and six albums, including all of their biggest hits.

SATURDAY, JUNE 24 Summer Soulstice @ North Avenue, noon

Each year the East Side celebrates the first day of summer with this North Avenue bash, featuring an arts fair, creation stations, dodgeball and BMX stunt bikes, family friendly activities and plenty of food. Now in its 17th year, the festival will feature three stages of music, with headliners this year including De La Buena, The Fatty Acids, Platinum Boys, Antler House, Painted Caves, Lex Allen, Whips, WebsterX and Midwest Death Rattle, among many, many others.

Radio Milwaukee Block Party @ Radio Milwaukee, 3 p.m.

Over its 10-year run, Radio Milwaukee 88.9 has grown from a modest community station operating out of an unassuming stretch of a Milwaukee public studio to a major powerhouse with its own glamorous headquarters in Walker’s Point. To celebrate its 10th anniversary, the station is throwing this free block party outside of its studio space at East Pittsburgh Avenue and South Barclay Street, featuring a host of local and national names. The poetic Chicago rapper Noname—a Chance The Rapper collaborator who proved herself a star in her own right on her 2016 album Telefone—will headline, supported by indie rocker Strand of Oaks and Milwaukeeans Field Report, REYNA, D’Amato and Abby Jeanne. Extra cause for celebration: This week the station launched a 24-hour broadcast called 414Music.fm, which will play Milwaukee music old and new around the clock on a live stream and HD2 radio channel.

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Red Hot Chili Peppers

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Read our daily events guide, Today in Milwaukee, on shepherdexpress.com

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WEDNESDAY, JUNE 28 Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears @ Johnson Controls World Sound Stage, Summerfest, 10 p.m.

Stemming from Austin’s fertile music scene, Black Joe Lewis enjoyed a breakout year in 2009, when his many performances with his band the Honeybears bowled over every critic who caught him. In hindsight, it’s remarkable Lewis had stayed under the radar for so long: His funky, blown-out blend of soul and blues is so raucous and joyous it makes even The Black Keys seem tame by comparison. On his group’s fifth album, this winter’s Backlash, Lewis throws down his usual punky energy over a set of slick, hornladen tracks.

Moody Blues @ BMO Harris Pavilion, Summerfest, 10 p.m.

Known for their jazz-tinted symphonic rock, The Moody Blues rose to fame among British bands after the release of their orchestral second album, 1967’s Days of Future Passed, which yielded the psychedelic singles “Tuesday Afternoon” and “Nights in White Satin.” Since then, The Moody Blues have remained one of England’s most prog-rock groups, producing more than a dozen more albums and pioneering the integration of classical sounds into ’70s rock. Amazingly, the group celebrated its 50th anniversary a few years back, and though the band hasn’t been immune to lineup changes—founding flautist Ray Thomas retired in 2002—remaining members Graeme Edge, Justin Hayward and John Lodge have continued to log countless miles on tour each year.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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::PERFORMINGARTSWEEK

A&E::INREVIEW LAWRENCE J. LUKASAVAGE

THEATRE

The Comedy of Errors

One of William Shakespeare’s earliest, snappiest and nuttiest plays, The Comedy of Errors is pretty much the classic tale of mistaken identity; its plot involves not one but two pairs of identical twins that have been separated at birth. Such an absurd setup is surely ripe for the stage; in fact, over the centuries since it debuted, The Comedy of Errors has been seen not merely in its original form but through operatic, musical theater and feature film adaptations.

No surprise, then, that Summit Players Theatre—founded three years ago by Marquette Theatre students on a mission to prove that Shakespeare is not boring—chose The Comedy of Errors to present at many a Wisconsin outdoor venue throughout June and July. Think of it as a “Shakespeare in the State Park” theater series. Their free outdoor performances began June 17 at the Bong Recreation Area and June 18 at Kettle Moraine’s Ottawa Lake area.

Performances continue through July 30 around the state.

June 23 at Havenwoods State Forest; June 24 at Devil’s Lake State Park; June 25 at Blue Mound State Park; and at various other venues throughout Wisconsin. For a full schedule, call 414-803-3984 or visit summitplayerstheatre.com.

Twelfth Night

Viola and Sebastian find themselves embroiled in one of William Shakespeare’s archetypally convoluted plots in Twelfth Night. They are separated twins who, each believing the other is dead, become entangled in a love quadrangle involving plenty of mistaken identity. Viola has been romantically pursued by a countess (thinking her a young man named Cesario), while Viola herself is smitten with Duke Orsino—who is in love with the countess… When Sebastian turns up, the countess believes him to be Cesario and finds him irresistible. Door Shakespeare presents Twelfth Night, directed by Joseph Hanreddy, with many performances running June through August. It shares the stage at the lovely Björklunden garden estate at Lawrence University on an alternating schedule with David Farr’s classic family tale The Heart of Robin Hood starting in July.

Twelfth Night runs June 29-Aug. 18; The Heart of Robin Hood runs July 6-Aug. 19. All productions take place in the garden at Björklunden, 7590 Boynton Lane, Baileys Harbor. For tickets, call 920-839-1500 or visit doorshakespeare. com/box-office.

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‘Titus Andronicus’

THEATRE

A Tarantino-Style ‘Titus’ from Off the Wall ::BY SELENA MILEWSKI

D

ale Gutzman’s production of William Shakespeare’s famous bloodbath tragedy, Titus Andronicus, is a horrific, fast-paced and commendably lucid interpretation. The director-star aptly compares his offering to the work of Quentin Tarantino. The production spares nothing in the realms of gore, madness and strangely apropos Rat Pack soundscapes.

An elegant mélange of production values brings home the timelessness of human cruelty, greed and supreme arrogance. Gutzman’s design, David Roper’s technical direction, and Marilyn and Randy White’s contributions to props and costumes create a world full of disparate influences including everything from Roman imperial drapery to modern punk-rock and BDSM attire, and from katanas and daggers to Ziploc bags for severed body parts.

There are no weak links in the formidable performance ensemble, although a few shine especially bright. This is a difficult play for female roles, but Maura Atwood and Laura Monagle put in strong performances as the ravaged Lavinia and the merciless empress Tamora, respectively. Monagle’s characterization is particularly striking for its subtle but omnipresent sexualization; the character’s wiles extend even to her own sons through Monagle’s physical choices. Sandy Lewis and Barbara Weber counterbalance this with an element of religious femininity, appearing as silent, white-faced priestesses who observe the action and facilitate the rituals to which the players cling when the status quo crumbles.

Among the large male ensemble, Shayne Steliga as Aaron is particularly powerful. Although the character is the most ruthless of the bunch, Steliga’s acute understanding of his extreme directness and loyalty to self alone make him almost likeable. Gutzman’s Titus is a tour de force reflecting a nuanced and highly original take on the character. Where the grief-stricken general of the play’s later acts is often played as merely enraged and vengeful, Gutzman brings a manic edge to his work, making Titus something of an insane clown moving seamlessly from hysterical laughter and tears to swift, poetically constructed acts of revenge.

The play has moments of humor—both in The Bard’s original language and in this production’s interpretations of words whose meanings have changed over time—but the audience was largely silent. Although it may take a dark sense of humor to accept the levity in such depravity, this production is nevertheless a must-see for any and all interested in power structures, human foibles and the dear price we pay for our illusions.

Through June 25 at Off The Wall Theatre, 127 E. Wells St. For tickets, call 414-484-8874 or visit zivcat.com/offthewalltheatre.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A&E::INREVIEW

YOU AND A GUEST ARE INVITED TO A SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING

MUSIC

A CAPTIVATED CONTRAST AT MILWAUKEE SYMPHONY’S FINAL CONCERT FOR THE SEASON

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 28 7:00 PM

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::BY RICK WALTERS

T

he final Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra classical subscription concert of the season captivated with an engaging program of three contrasting pieces. MSO Assistant Conductor Yaniv Dinur made a strong debut in his first subscription concert appearance.

Inspired by a poem about the Afro-Cuban ritualistic killing of a snake, Sensemayá, by Mexican composer Silvestre Revueltas (1899-1940) kicked off the concert with primal energy. Relentless, driving, jagged rhythms push the music forward, with brass and percussion carrying most of the momentum. The exciting Saturday evening performance showed tight ensemble playing and powerful orchestral sound.

MSO Associate Concertmaster Ilana Setapen was featured in Samuel Barber’s Concerto for Violin and Orchestra, composed in 1939-’40. Her graceful, unfussy playing came forth in a tone with sweetness to its core in the incredibly beautiful, lyrical first movement. The color changed to attractive, steely sound in the cadenza. I loved Setapen’s natural sense of phrase. The second movement is one of the great laments in the concerto literature, with Barber fully expressing his inclination to melancholy. Katherine Young Steele set it up with a soulful oboe solo, and Setapen answered with playing that seemed to deeply move a hushed audience. The concerto shifts into a nervous, perpetual-motion third movement, and Setapen handled this anxious music, written at the throat of World War II, with fleet skill and without breaking a sweat. This was a classy performance by a classy artist.

The orchestra is lucky to have Yaniv Dinur.

Artistically and technically, he is probably the most fully formed MSO assistant conductor I’ve heard in my 34 years of attending concerts. His account of Modest Mussorgsky’s familiar Pictures at an Exhibition showed a sure grasp of tempos, contrasts and transitions.

The piece is the composer’s tribute to the paintings of a dead friend.

Trumpeter Matthew Ernst was impressive in the famous opening theme and again later in the very tricky solo in the “Samuel Goldenberg and Schmuÿle” movement. Trombones and tuba showed the excellence of the MSO low brass section in “Catacombae.” Space doesn’t allow mention of all the better-thangood solo playing in Yaniv Dinur this triumphant performance.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

To enter for a chance to win, please visit www.tinyurl.com/BlazeMil RATED R FOR LANGUAGE THROUGHOUT, SEXUAL REFERENCES, DRUG USE, SOME VIOLENCE AND BRIEF NUDITY. Please note:Passes are limited and will be distributed on a first come, first served basis while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Limit one pass per person. Each pass admits two. Seating is not guaranteed.

Arrive early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater (audio recording devices for credentialed press excepted) and consent to a physical search of your belongings and person. Any attempted use of recording devices will result in immediate removal from the theater, forfeiture, and may subject you to criminal and civil liability. Please allow additional time for heightened security. You can assist us by leaving all nonessential bags at home or in your vehicle.

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A&E::FILM

A&E::FILMCLIPS Complete film coverage online at shepherdexpress.com

Oriental Theatre 90th Birthday Celebration

On a warm summer evening in 1927, Milwaukee’s grandest movie palace, the Oriental, opened for the first time. Advertising at the time boasted of its size (2,500 seats), its cost (a staggering $1,500,000) and—vital in the sweltering hot months before the advent of air conditioning—a $175,000 ventilating system. To mark the anniversary, the Oriental is throwing a birthday party with cake (courtesy of Eat Cake!) and magic (courtesy of Dead Man’s Carnival’s Glen Gerard). There will be a raffle and a screening of the most beloved film from Hollywood’s golden years, Casablanca. (David Luhrssen) The party takes place on Sunday, June 25 beginning at 6 p.m. Casablanca screens at 7:15 p.m.

Rough Night R

Five college gal pals (Scarlett Johansson, Zoë Kravitz, Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell and Ilana Glazer) reunite in Miami after 10 years for the no-holds-barred private bachelorette party of their last unmarried member. The women engage and accidentally kill a male stripper at their rented beach house—then spend the remainder of the film attempting to cover up the killing. The film’s trailer reveals the odd casting of the friends (Bell and McKinnon excepted) as they embody total craziness and do the heavy lifting, laugh wise. Were the genders reversed, feminists would pitch a fit. In the interest of equality, shouldn’t what’s bad for the goose be equally bad for the gander? (Lisa Miller) ‘Cars 3’

‘Cars 3’ in the Running for First Place in Summer Blockbusters ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

L

ightning McQueen looks down for the count as Cars 3 begins.

Old number 95 slumps into depression when he and his generation of racecars are pushed off the track by a new breed of high-performance contenders. The leader of the new pack, Jackson Storm (voiced by Armie Hammer), trains on a digital simulator rather than a dirt track, and has mastered the calculus of tire pressure and weight distribution.

Jackson has largely eliminated the human dimension from the sport of racing—if one can discuss humanity in an animated tale about anthropomorphic motor vehicles. Will the faltering Lightning (Owen Wilson) make a comeback and retake the cup?

Pixar has been the groundbreaker in animation not only for its technological breakthroughs in computer animation, but also for its sophisticated screenplays. Some Pixar fans have dismissed the original Cars and its sequels as the least challenging of the studio’s sequence of gently thought-provoking animated features. Of necessity, many scenes throughout the Cars franchise are fast-moving kinetic spectacles, yet the films always slow down to take measure of sportsmanship, the cost of pursuing victory, the distract24 | J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7

ing glare of celebrity media and the value of mentorship.

In Cars 3, Lightning communes in memory with his mentor, Doc Hudson (the late Paul Newman, his voice salvaged from outtakes), and is bucked up by his girlfriend, Sally (Bonnie Hunt), the vehicular analogue to the can-do women that populate Pixar films. He is also supported by the unswerving loyalty of his friends, especially Mater (Larry the Cable Guy), Rusty Cars 3 (Tom Magliozzi) Owen Wilson and Dusty (Ray Armie Hammer Magliozzi). The Directed by story’s moral Brian Fee concerns the arrogant brashness Rated G of youth when it despises the experience of age, and the ability—even the necessity—of elders to adapt to changing times. Pixar also engages female empowerment through a new character, Lightning’s trainer Cruz Ramirez (Cristela Alonzo), who needs the confidence to pursue her dream of championship racing.

Transformers: The Last Knight PG-13

The fifth Transformers film came in at $280 million. Outrageous? Yes...or perhaps not, since each film generates $900 million globally (China’s tickets sales alone are forecast at $400 million). A legion of writers pitched ideas to Michael Bay for the final chapter he plans to direct.

He considered both King Arthur’s Camelot and Word War II, deciding to shoehorn both ideas into one picture. If the combination sounds jumbled, perhaps you aren’t its intended audience. Besides, there’s always next year’s spinoff about young Autobot scout Bumblebee—a yellow-and-black 2016 Chevrolet Camaro. Entertaining Transformers fans until the next proper Transformers movie—it’s one way to get more honey for the money. (L.M.)

[HOME MOVIES/OUT ON DIGITAL] Gauguin: Maker of Myth

Canvas after canvas fills the frames of this documentary on one of the great visionaries of modern art. Paul Gauguin began as a collector before he decided to make his own art—and create new identities for himself several times over. Willem Dafoe narrates and Alfred Molina voices the words of Gauguin, who sought primal forces beneath the corruption of Western civilization, found modernity in ancient myths and “authenticity” in the lives he invented for himself.

The Paradine Case

The jail door slams shut with a dismal thud: A beautiful foreign woman is locked up, accused of poisoning her husband. To the rescue comes London’s star barrister, played by Gregory Peck. The case involves many twists as the tricky facts emerge. The big problem: Peck becomes emotionally obsessed with his client. Alfred Hitchcock assembled a top-drawer cast for this 1947 film, including Charles Coburn as a kindly solicitor and Charles Laughton as a swinish judge.

Man of La Mancha

In this colorful 1972 reinvention of the Broadway musical (already on its way to summer stock), Peter O’Toole plays Miguel Cervantes, a subversive playwright whose spoofing pantomime of the Spanish Inquisition leads to his arrest by the humorless Inquisitors. Tossed into a dungeon of desperados, he saves himself by staging a musical based on his character, the delusional Don Quixote, who frees himself from the prison of “reality” through imaginative engagement with myth. Sophia Loren costars.

Zaza

“We had faces then,” Gloria Swanson declared in Sunset Boulevard. The origins of the character she played (and satirized) in Billy Wilder’s classic of stardom and delusion are evident in this 1923 silent movie. Swanson plays a music hall star—a woman swept along on tempests of passion, a spectacle mad with desire, arms waving in weird spidery gestures. Her eyes implored or raged with spite. Yes, she had a face then, a crazily expressive face.

—David Luhrssen

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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VISUALART|REVIEW

‘SAFETY CONES’ AND SCULPTURE IN MILWAUKEE’S DOWNTOWN

O

there are internationally recognized names like Deborah Butterfield and Sol LeWitt, there are also locally based artists with international reputations, including Paul Druecke, Jason Yi and Michelle Grabner.

The project has an impressive pedigree. Former Milwaukee Art Museum Director Russell Bowman curated the series, “Sculpture Milwaukee”; its implementation was the brainchild of businessman Steve Marcus. This project is sadly slated to last only until October. The “Sculpture Milwaukee” website promotes the installation of these artworks as aligning Milwaukee with such cities as Paris, Chicago and New York for their attentiveness to public aesthetics. While the streets of this city have a definitive life in the summer months—given our taste for festivals of all sorts and street-side dining—the idea of having contemporary art on a major thoroughfare enhances the character of Milwaukee as a cosmopolitan city. It is a summer visitor but would be welcome as a permanent resident.

“Sculpture Milwaukee” will be on display through October along Wisconsin Avenue from Sixth Street to O’Donnell Park. To learn more, visit sculpturemilwaukee.com.

A&E::VISUALART

VISUALART|PREVIEWS

‘Street Artists of Milwaukee’ at the Frank Juarez Gallery ::BY TYLER FRIEDMAN

::BY KAT KNEEVERS

range construction cones are a part of summer. Now they are even more so in a new display of sculpture along Wisconsin Avenue. Dennis Oppenheim’s surprising and humorous Safety Cones loom large along the Riverwalk intersection at Water Street. A playful pair of monumental orange cones lines the walkway, decorated with polkadot shapes that greet people enjoying a stroll but without impeding their progress. It is a kind reminder of how alternate forms of transportation are often not vulnerable to the perils of roadway construction and associated impediments.

This is one of the 22 sculptures recently installed, and one with a sense of whimsy. Sometimes that takes a more obvious effect, like the red roses of Will Ryman’s Rose #2 (Icon Red), a voluptuous bouquet with dangerous thorns. Tony Tasset’s Mood Sculpture is like a stack of emojis, with candy-colored balls registering different facial expressions. One can’t help but think that for Downtown passersby, it is something to wryly smile at, registering expressions that best suit their current moods.

Some of the works are purely abstract, intended for suggestions like the spiraling bronze tornado of Tony Cragg’s Mixed Feelings. While

Tune in at 8 a.m. every Wednesday for “Arts Express”

G

raffiti is minimally a misdemeanor and for many of its practitioners that’s the point. Veiled by noms d’artistes, these elusive artists challenge distinctions between public and private property by tagging buildings with their stylized handles or leave lapidary visual critiques that some regard as an urban blight and others deem high art. Of course not all street artists work in the shadows, flirting with felonies to get their kicks; others create public murals commemorating public figures and historical happenings that shaped neighborhoods.

In “Street Artists of Milwaukee,” June 24 through Aug. 5 at the Frank Juarez Gallery, five Wisconsin artists demonstrate their unique takes on street art. Nova Czarnecki and John Kowalczyk are MIAD graduates, both of whom have beautified Milwaukee with public murals in recent years. Fred Kaems is a mostly self-taught painter whose youthful years of graffiti work have left a trace in his continued preference for hand-cut stencils and spray paint. Dave Watkins paints abstractions influenced by urban landscapes, which he has recently become interested in applying to urban landscapes themselves. Mike Change, aka changerous63, began making graffiti art in the 1980s. More recently he has applied his experience to assisting with public projects like the East Side’s Black Cat Alley.

“Street Artists of Milwaukee” opens with an artists’ reception from 5-8 p.m. on Friday, June 24. Visitors will be invited to try their hand at gallery-sanctioned graffiti on USPS mail stickers.

Will Ryman, Rose #2 (Icon Red)

Strawberry Challenge Party

Wisconsin Museum of Quilts and Fiber Arts N50 W5050 Portland Road Coinciding with Cedarburg’s annual Strawberry Festival, the Wisconsin Museum of Quilts and Fiber Arts has collected works by local fiber artists inspired by all things strawberry. Welcoming a variety of media—quilt, wall hanging, wearable art, rug, paper—the entries are on display in WMQFA’s lobby. Their much-anticipated Strawberry Challenge Party takes place Friday, June 23, during which the first, second and third place winners for the youth and adult categories will be announced and awarded prizes.

“Light Keeper’s Art Show and Sale”

North Point Lighthouse | 2650 N. Wahl Ave.

A group exhibition and sale will be held at the North Point Lighthouse on Friday, June 23, from 5-9 p.m. Six artists will present more than 100 works of jewelry, photography, watercolor, acrylic paint and colored pencil. Despite working across media, the artists are united by their friendship with Julia Taylor, president of the Greater Milwaukee Committee, in whose honor the exhibition is being mounted (Taylor is also one of the contributing artists).

A portion of event admission ($10 per person) and proceeds from the silent auction will benefit Milwaukee’s historic North Point Lighthouse. “Light Keeper’s Art Show and Sale” will be catered by Pastiche at Hotel Metro, including a signature champagne cocktail created specially for the occasion.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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A&E::BOOKS BOOK |REVIEW

Poets of the Bible: From Solomon’s Song of Songs to John’s Revelation (W.W. NORTON),

BY WILLIS BARNSTONE

Willis Barnstone is far from first to recognize the poetry in the Bible—William Blake and Walt Whitman are only two great English-language poets who read past the prose and saw the powerfully condensed imagery of poetry. A poet himself as well as a scholar, Barnstone hopes to awaken new readers to the literary dimension of scriptures through his own verse translations from the original Hebrew and Greek. Proverbs 14: 7-8 becomes “Watch out for a dumbbell,” Solomonic advice for an American public dismayed by its current leadership. Underlying Poets of the Bible is a reminder of scriptures’ origins in cultures of the Near East and of meanings richer than any literal-minded reading. (David Luhrssen)

The Chippewa: Biography of a Wisconsin Waterway (WISCONSIN HISTORICAL SOCIETY PRESS),

BY RICHARD D. CORNELL Wisconsin writer Richard D. Cornell has lived close to the Chippewa River for most of his life. In writing his account of the river, Cornell spent time canoeing the waterway and also visited local history museums, read books about the people who once lived on its banks and conversed with contemporaries in homes, diners and festivals. “From these conversations I gathered a history of the Chippewa River Valley that felt as active and fluid as the river,” he writes. The Chippewa is a descriptively written travelogue grounded in history and observation.

(David Luhrssen)

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BOOK |PREVIEW

Daniel Goodenough’s Reflections in a Distracted Age ::BY JENNI HERRICK

I

n today’s stressful society, with its 24-hour news cycle, ever-present devices and constant distractions, many of us are seeking invigorating opportunities to disconnect from technology and delve more deeply into our life’s true purpose. Around the world, people discover spiritual awakening and contemplative personal reflection through prayer, meditation, nature and other diverse traditions. Daniel Goodenough, the co-founder of The Way of the Heart and author of the new book The Caravan of Remembering, invites us to learn to live more deliberately by expressing our deepest values and passions. Goodenough, who approaches spirituality from both scientific and artistic viewpoints, encourages people to embrace their true identity, forgive past errors and indiscretions, and act freely and with heightened self-awareness.

The Way of the Heart is an international organization that seeks to help people identify their life’s purpose and find creative ways to live more fully.

They offer an extensive catalogue of courses that blend science, psychology, physics, life mission, art and spirituality to help students visualize an empowering reality.

Goodenough has created more than a dozen life-mission courses and helped thousands of people remember their life’s purpose. Goodenough will share his experiences and discuss The Caravan of Remembering at 6:30 p.m. on Wednesday, June 28 at Unity Church, 1717 N. 73rd St.

BOOK |HAPPENING Scott Turow

2 p.m., Sunday, June 25 Harry & Rose Samson Jewish Community Center 6255 N Santa Monica Blvd.

Acclaimed author Scott Turow is renowned for his eloquence in tackling contentious and often timely legal issues in his bestselling works of fiction. In his newest book, Turow explores a particularly nasty period in 1990s international intrigue with a spellbinding tale surrounding the disappearance of an entire Bosnian War refugee camp. In Testimony, Turow takes readers on an exciting international adventure involving the long-persecuted Roma people, the International Criminal Court and long-buried Washington secrets.

Narrated by a middle-aged prosecutor whose inner life is in turmoil, this fast-paced page-turner captures both one man’s personal angst and the world’s collapsing system of global justice. Author Scott Turow will appear at the The Harry & Rose Samson Jewish Community Center for a book event in conjunction with Boswell Book Co.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::OFFTHECUFF

OPEN 11-7 MONDAY - SATURDAY SUNDAY 12-5

Jacob Bach

Outdoor Adventures in Wisconsin OFF THE CUFF WITH GOOD LAND GUIDES’ JACOB BACH ::BY JENNIFER WALTER

T

raversing crumbling peaks, navigating slot canyons and bushwhacking through the southern ranges of Arizona, Jacob Bach’s National Outdoor Leadership School training took a pause during a windstorm when his team had to take shelter for more than 24 hours. Nestled in a sleeping bag with no entertainment but a notebook and flashlight, Bach found himself thinking about what he wanted to do with his training when he returned to Wisconsin. A former actor and current comedian at ComedySportz Milwaukee, Bach is also a lifelong Boy Scout and outdoor enthusiast. In 2016 he created Good Land Guides, an outdoor tourism company based in Milwaukee. Whether backpacking, climbing or biking, Bach leads groups of all ages through Wisconsin’s national parks to share his love for the state’s natural wonders.

What kind of groups do you take on adventures through Good Land Guides?

It’s a grab bag, it all depends. We have our public adventures and we also have our private ones; right now we have whitewater rafting and a teenage backpacking trip. Also, coming up in fall, there’s a women’s cycling group that I’m guiding down the Great River Road.

Are there options for those who would like to go on a trip but can’t afford it?

In Boy Scouts, I work with kids that are from the wealthiest

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

family in the neighborhood and I work with kids who are from the least wealthy family in the neighborhood. But do I want every kid to go outside and go camping for the weekend? Yeah, of course I do. And I’m going to make that work for everybody.

No matter what.

You mentioned your dad’s heart attack was a turning point for you. Was that what made you go into the outdoor industry?

Yeah. I was the first responder on the scene to his heart attack. I was the one who gave him CPR first, and the only reason why I have that training is because of Boy Scouts. He’s fine now, but it kind of opened up my eyes to think, we should do things that make us happy. So I decided to switch over to the outdoor industry because I’ve always loved the outdoors. When I was growing up, the only job I could imagine myself doing was being a travel show host.

What is your ultimate goal for your career in the outdoor industry?

The dream is to just dedicate my time to volunteering, to environmentalism in Wisconsin. My dream would be to give the DNR all the funding in the world and make sure that our state trails and our parks and our wilderness are taken care of and the U.S. Forest Service is doing its job and all of our national park stuff is being taken care of—but you can’t do that without money.

What have you learned from your travels?

People forget that the environment was never a partisan issue. The environment, and keeping America safe and our water clean and our air clean and making sure people have a place to recreate, a place to enjoy and a place to call home outside of the city—that was never a Democrat or Republican thing. Last year my goal was to see every state park in Wisconsin and I did that in eight months. The thing that I realized, as a gay man in my mid-20s from the city, going around to all those places, is that nobody actually feels this way. We’re told that we live in a super polarized society in the nation, but even more so we live in a super polarized state because there’s a very hard line between rural people and urban people. But I can walk into any bar in rural Wisconsin in the middle of nowhere and talk with anybody just fine.

To learn more about Good Land Guides, visit goodlandguides. com.

Saving 50% feels

Naughty,

but is really nice! the

WWW.SHEPSTORE.COM J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7 | 27

::HEARME HEARMEOUT

For more, log onto shepherdexpress.com

ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON

::UPCOMINGEVENTS

Ruthie Rooters Get Personal

A LOVE LIFE ENTERTAINMENT ADVICE

Dear Ruthie says, “Hear Me Out! ”

AND FOR EVEN MORE FUN VISIT RUTHIE AND CYNTHIA AT RUTHIE’S BITCHIN KITCHEN.COM

28 | J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7

friend recently asked me about the emails I receive for this column. I explained that I try to answer the questions in the order I receive them, but at times I hold onto emails, deciding to answer them at a later date. Sometimes I’ll even group similar letters together just for the hell of it. That’s what we’ve got here, my friends—a bunch of naughty letters asking about my red carpet, my rack and more.

Writing for Milwaukee publications for more than 20 years, I’ve noticed one thing: People can ask some pretty personal things. That said, take a gander at some of the cheekier questions I receive. Enjoy!

Dear Ruthie,

Let’s cut to the chase. Does the carpet match the curtains?

—Want to Know

Dear Nosey,

Yes…but only when it’s steam cleaned.

Dear Ruthie,

I really want to know what cup size you are? Love those cans.

—Admired from Afar

Dear Weirdo,

42 long…on a good night. At my age, my boobies hang so low, I wear curb feelers on my nipples.

P.S. “Cans?”

Dear Ruthie,

Have you ever considered taking a dip in the lady pond?

—Wondering in Stallis

Dear Stallis,

I haven’t gone Downtown with a gal pal, but I certainly have no qualms with those who do. I’m pretty sure that if I put my toe in the lady pond, I’d need water wings, however, as I’d likely be swept away.

Dear Ruthie,

What’s with the hair and glasses? I don’t get it.

Dear Questioning,

—Questioning

June 20: Opening Night of ‘Beautiful—The Carole King Musical’ at Uihlein Hall/Marcus Center (929 N. Water St.): Celebrate the story of a songstress who wrote the soundtrack of an entire generation.

From “One Fine Day” to “I Feel the Earth Move,” the tunes in this much-loved musical promise to keep your toes tapping all night long. Don’t miss the chance to witness this delightful show in person. See marcuscenter.org for tickets for the production, which runs through June 25.

June 23 & June 24: ‘La La Land in Concert’ at The Riverside (144 E. Wells St.): Experience the Academy Award-winning film La La Land like never before. The Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra performs the score to the movie projected in high definition during two performances. Doors open at 7 p.m.; show time is 8 p.m. Tickets start at $29.50. Visit pabsttheater.org for additional information.

June 24: Milwaukee Comic Convention at Wisconsin State Fair Park (640 S. 84th St.): Shazam! It’s time to celebrate your inner geek with more than 300 vendors, artists, special guests and performers at this summer celebration of all things cosplay, super hero, wild and wacky. Enter the costume contest, meet favorite celebrities from the comic world and shop the expo until your little cartoon heart explodes. Tickets start at $5 for the 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. convention. Visit geekinccomics.com for additional information.

June 24: Drag with The Disappointments at Up & Under Pub (1216 E. Brady St.): What happens when you cross the city’s wildest drag queens with one of Milwaukee’s favorite punk bands? You get this night of out-of-control craziness. Join enticing emcee Ricky Royale as she hosts a night of music, booze and badass fun. The free show starts at 9 p.m.

June 25: ‘Lea DeLaria: An Evening of Comedy and Music’ at Ravinia Festival (200 Ravinia Park Road, Ill.): If you haven’t been to the lovely music park south of the Wisconsin border, a date with the bawdy mistress of Broadway offers the perfect opportunity to check it out! One of the LGBTQ community’s favorite funny ladies hits the stage at 7:30 p.m. for an age 18+ concert. Lawn seats go for $20, and pavilion seats start at $45. Check out ravinia.org for all of the details.

Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email dearruthie@shepex.com.

Fuck you. I’m old.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Know your status.

Get tested!

::MYLGBTQ Point of View

Free HIV and STD testing at 6pm on Monday and Tuesday nights.

No appointment needed.

B

D

EST C·L·I·N·I·C

1240 E. Brady Street

Planning a Year of Pride?

WHAT TO DO IN THE MONTHS AFTER PRIDEFEST ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

P

rideFest’s record-setting attendance of more than 37,600 certainly proves we’re a vibrant, engaged community. While we bask in the Pride weekend afterglow, the question “What next?” might not yet have occurred to most of us. But, at month’s end, we may sadly realize…not much. Yes, there’s the GAMMA Fourth of July Party, and later, the LGBT Family Picnic as well a few other smaller events. New this summer is the inaugural Milwaukee International Gay Rugby 101 on Saturday, Aug. 5. There’s nothing like a good scrum, I always say…or a good ruck, for that matter. But it’s just a one-day tutorial on mauling, tackling and rugby rough-housing followed by an obligatory “beer bash and shenanigans.”

Of course, there’s the city’s summer lineup of festivals. Some, like the Brady and Center Street Daze festivals, although not gay per se, have a certain appeal. They all certainly sound like great fun but they’ll hardly have a crowd of such diversity or numbers as PrideFest.

So, what to do with the rest of our brief summer should have us pondering the possibilities.

One idea got a little buzz going a few years ago, namely a concert series like Jazz in the Park. It

could be a monthly event, perhaps in July after Bastille Days and again in August. The logical venue would be Cathedral Square where one could depend on the support of local businesses and the East Town Association. Our local LGBTQ talent pool could easily provide an evening’s entertainment. Back in the days of the Gay Arts Center Stage at PrideFest we managed to schedule six consecutive hours of back-toback stage acts for three nights with all volunteer talent. Often, more that 75 performers graced the GAC Stage on any given night. There were troupes of modern ballet, hip-hop, flamenco, salsa and, of course, belly dancers. Musical acts included acoustic and electric lesbians as well as straight rock bands. Stand-up comedians, gender-queer and drag performers filled out the lineup. We even staged plays. In other words, there’s no dearth of reliable talent to fill the traditional three-hour slot that makes up a typical night at Jazz in the Park.

In these strange political times when the LGBTQ community (and the rest of the country’s minorities) is under the strain of an official government strategy of curtailing civil rights, it is imperative we keep a year-round profile. While not overtly political, Pride in the Park, like PrideFest, would be a means of making a public statement of our presence. And, the message would reach beyond the LGBTQ community.

Then, in October, we have SSBL’s annual softball tournament, the Dairyland Classic that attracts dozens of national and international teams. The Milwaukee LGBT Film/Video Festival follows in early November.

And why stop there? Winter needn’t dampen our enthusiasm. In fact, in this state, the season should encourage it. Perhaps DJ’d nights of Skating with Pride at Red Arrow Park would be in order. I can almost feel the frosty air and smell the mingling fragrances of roasting chestnuts and mulled wine.

Next thing you know, it will be June, and time again for PrideFest.

bestd.org

PRESENTING SPONSORS:

Join us!

Early Bird tickets are on ly $50, Don’t wait! Only availa ble through June 30th!

Our 35th Anniversary Summer Social

(formerly My Best Friend is Straight)

Wednesday, July 26th 2017 5:30 to 8:30 p.m.

Pritzlaff, 333 N. Plankinton To purchase sponsorship and tickets go to: SummerSocial.fasttransact.net

Cream City Foundation, founded in 1982, celebrates 35 years of service in 2017. The Foundation began with only $500 in seed money and since granted more than $1.5 million to life-affirming, life-sustaining and life-celebrating programs for the LGBTQ+ communities in southeastern Wisconsin.

759 N. Milwaukee St., # 522, Milwaukee, WI 53202 • 414.225.0244 SHEPHERD EXPRESS

J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7 | 29

::MUSIC

For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

KEN VANDERMARK AND NATE WOOLEY IMPROVISE FOR THE MOMENT

Ken Vandermark and Nate Wooley

::BY TYLER FRIEDMAN

e are finally caring for our ears. I don’t mean merely heeding the dictum that one ought not insert anything into their auditory canal deeper than their pinky can venture. I don’t even mean the heartening statistics suggesting that hearing loss is on the decline. No. That we are caring for our ears is indicated by the fact that, in 2016, vinyl record sales hit a 25-year high.

Digitalization is to be thanked for democratizing music, leading us to new discoveries and making them more accessible than ever; but savvy ears know that a digital file is to a lustrous LP what a poster reproduction is to the chunky, textured brush strokes of a Vincent Van Gogh canvas. And this difference cannot be written off as “nostalgia” or “hipster fetishism”—as recent monographs such as Damon Krukowski’s The New Analog: Listening and Reconnecting in a Digital World and David Sax’s The Revenge of Analog: Real Things and Why They Matter convincingly argue.

Just as gourmands seek out daring pairings of flavors, so do audiophiles delight in new sonic combinations. On Friday, June 23 at 8 p.m. at the Sugar Maple in Bay View, the Ken Vandermark and Nate Wooley Duo will serve forth a menu of music that blends improvisation with composition and explores the expressive palette of their instruments through the use of extended techniques. The concert will begin with each musician stepping forward separately to play a solo set. Vandermark waxes rhapsodic about his musical compatriot’s commitment to an improvisational ideal.

“Every single night, Nate approaches his part of the solo set with a totally clean slate,” he says. “It’s incredible. His improvisation may be designed for the acoustics of the room or to reflect his momentary frame of mind or the atmosphere of the audi-

30 | J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7

ence. That’s what improvisation is supposed to be about. He takes that attitude very seriously. What happens at the Sugar Maple won’t be what happened the night before in Madison or the night after when we’re recording in the studio. He’s a very special improviser.”

The duo set presents material that Vandermark and Wooley developed and honed over the course of a tour in May. The material bounces back and forth between conventionally melodic material and abstract, sonic textures. Vandermark sees this inclusivity as an inevitable consequence of musical and environmental influences. “It’s really more natural to incorporate sounds at this point,” he remarks.

“Just in terms of the music that we listen to and the urban environments in which we live.”

While conceding that the sections of free improvisation can be jarring at first to the uninitiated, VanderThe Ken mark insists that, ultimately, texturally oriented sound Vandermark constitutes another way of thinking about melody. and Nate He elaborates with an analogy: “Whether it has been built with brick or wood, it’s still a house. If you look at a Wooley Duo wooden house from the standpoint of brick, it will look 8 p.m. strange. But if you evaluate the house in the terms of Friday, June 23 construction, you begin to appreciate the virtues of each Sugar Maple approach.”

The return of the Ken Vandermark and Nate Wooley Duo to the Sugar Maple is an auspicious occasion. Their first two records, the critically acclaimed East by Northwest and All Directions Home, were waxed at the Bay View beer bar; their Sugar Maple gig will be recorded for possible inclusion on the duo’s third album—to be formally recorded the night after and released as an LP later this year.

The Ken Vandermark and Nate Wooley Duo perform at the Sugar Maple on Friday, June 23 at 8 p.m.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

MUSIC::LOCAL

Emma Fish Brings PostTeenage Angst Back Home ::BY LAUREN KEENE

O

lder music fans today are quick to argue that rock ’n’ roll is dead and that millennials killed it. Even though rock may not dominate the radio airwaves like it did many moons ago, young artists give the genre a safe haven on the World Wide Web. Bandcamp provides aspiring musicians a chance to pursue their musical ambitions online with nothing more than an acoustic guitar, songwriting chops and a microphone-wielding laptop.

Cedarburg singer-songwriter Emma Fish found a home for her bedroom recordings on Bandcamp while she was in college. Fish first picked up a guitar when she was in middle school and continued to refine her craft as she got older. A lack of confidence in her playing prevented her from starting a band in high school, but her interest in writing her own music didn’t dissipate. In 2015, Fish released her first album on Bandcamp after being inspired by indie cult figure Frankie Cosmos.

“She has a lot of really sparsely produced albums on Bandcamp and short one-take recordings of songs,” Fish explains. “I realized that I didn’t need to be ‘good’ or have a certain kind of experience to start writing and putting my stuff on the Internet.”

Fish continued to upload short EPs to Bandcamp roughly every six months. Her longest song clocks in at only two minutes and 37 seconds, and not a single EP is longer than 10 minutes long. Her songwriting is often reflective of the lovesickness and longing she felt during a long-distance relationship. “All my songs are pretty personal,” Fish says. “I have a hard time writing lyrics that don’t directly relate to my life or experiences.” Her lo-fi, indie-pop sound acts as a soft blanket, touching on themes of loneliness and desire.

Last month, Fish graduated from UW-Madison. She began playing live shows through the university’s WUD music program, opening for Madison-based acts Advance Base and Gobbinjr. She has since relocated to Milwaukee to continue her studies. Her location change is coupled with a change in her musical ambition.

Fish has recently enlisted her boyfriend, Joey Vitucci, and friend, Eric Petsch, as a backing band. The three met at Cedarburg High School,

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

where Fish and Petsch ran cross country together. “It’s been really cool collaborating with my friends and making the songs sound a lot fuller and more fun,” Fish says. “I’m also really looking forward to sharing the stage with my buds.

Being alone on stage can definitely feel isolating.” Fish and her band are planning to continue performing in Madison as well as book more shows in Milwaukee.

The trio’s first gig together will be at the Cedarburg Strawberry Festival. Fish says that Emma Fish changes in her personal life have impacted her Saturday, relationship with her June 24 hometown since she Cedarburg went away for college.

Strawberry “My parents have split Festival and sold our house, so there is a weird feeling of disconnect and nostalgia there,” she says.

Despite this recent hometown detachment, Fish and her bandmates are eager to bring her music back to where it all began. “[Strawberry Fest] is always super-chaotic and shows Cedarburg at its best and craziest. I think all three of us are excited to make a triumphant return to our tiny town.”

Emma Fish performs at the Cedarburg Art Museum’s beer garden during the Cedarburg Strawberry Festival on Saturday, June 24 at 11 a.m. Her music is streaming at emmafish.bandcamp.com.

VISIT AMERICANSPIRIT.COM OR CALL 1-800-435-5515 PROMO CODE 96726

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Offer for one “1 for $3” Gift Certificate good for any Natural American Spirit cigarette product (excludes RYO pouches and 150g tins). Not to be used in conjunction with any other offer. Offer and website restricted to U.S. smokers 21 years of age and older. Limit one offer per person per 12 month period. Offer void in MA and where prohibited. Other restrictions may apply. Offer expires 12/31/17.

Emma Fish PHOTO BY JOEY VITUCCI

Milwaukee Shepherd Express 06-22-17.indd 1

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MUSIC::LISTINGS THURSDAY, JUNE 22

Amelia’s, Jackson Dordel Jazz Quintet (4pm) Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Acoustic Guitar Night Art Bar, Open Mic Comedy Cactus Club, Milwaukee Record Book Club w/Vinyl Me, Please Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Song Circle w/Tricia Alexander Caroline’s Jazz Club, Eddie Butts Band County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Frank’s Power Plant, Seismic City w/The Chafes & Hot By Ziggy Harry’s Bar & Grill, Kyle Feerick (6pm) Italian Community Center, Tom Anthony Group (6:30pm) Jazz Estate, Robin Reese & The Kevin Hayden Band Jazz in the Park (Cathedral Square Park), Legends of Milwaukee Jazz (6pm) Kelly’s Bleachers (Big Bend), Thursday Night Acoustic Open Jam w/host Michael Sean Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Singer/Songwriter Open Stage Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) Nines American Bistro of Mequon, ninesLive!

O’Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), The All-Star SUPERband (6pm) Packing House, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Marcell (8pm), In the Fire Pit: Party Anthem (8:30pm) Quaker Steak and Lube (New Berlin), Sensations (6pm) Shank Hall, Steve Forbert Stoneridge Inn (Hales Corners), Julie Nelson (6pm) The Bay Restaurant, Layers Upon Layers The Metal Grill (Cudahy), Once Around w/Audiophilia & The Rumours Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Carlos Adames: Ciudad Ventosa Qtet Von Trier, Robin Pluer & The R&B Coquettes

FRIDAY, JUNE 23

American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Tomm Lehnigk (6:30pm) Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Piano Night Art Bar Riverwest, Art Show Opening: MKE Sketch Club (7pm), music w/Jonny T-Bird & Big Dad (9pm) Cactus Club, The Holy Circle Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), The Home Fries Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: The Watchbirds w/Ghost Cuts (8pm); DJ: Fazio (10pm) Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, Jim Lauderdale County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Frank’s Power Plant, The Westerlees w/Sweet Sheiks & Swing Chevron Grant Park , Traveling Beer Garden: Front Porch Rockers (5pm) Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & Friends Jazz Estate, Steve Einerson Quartet (8pm), Late Night Session: Late Night Session: Steve Peplin/Neil Davis Duo (11:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Brian Hicks Lakefront Brewery Beer Hall, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Lucky Chance, Blame it on Cain Mamie’s, Chanel le Meaux & the Dapper Cads Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Heavy Hand w/Rented Rooms & Hey Muchacho

Live Music Cocktail Service Every Night

Thurs. 6/22 9 pm

Tues. 6/27 9 pm

ROBIN REESE & OLIVIA’S FUNK NIGHT THE KEVIN HAYDEN WITH DJ AUSTIN DUTMER BAND Fri. 6/23 8 pm

Wed. 6/28 8 pm

STEVE PEPLIN - NEIL DAVIS DUO

DEXTER GORDON “OUR MAN IN PARIS” (DAN FLYNN)

Sat. 6/24 8 pm

Thurs. 6/29 9 pm

STEVE EINERSON QUARTET 11:30 pm

RECORD DAY:

MIKE KUBICKI WHO’S YOUR TRIO DADDY TRIO 11:30 pm MIKE PAUERS TRIO

Mon. 6/26 8 pm

Fri. 6/30 8 pm

DJ CAROL KLEIN BRIAN LYNCH SPINS LATIN! + GREG TARDY 11:30 pm LENARD SIMPSON TRIO

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j a z z estat e . c o m

::ALBUMS Milwaukee Ale House, Fighting Fish Packing House, Dave Miller Blues & Jazz Quartet (6:30pm) Pewaukee Lakefront Park, Pewaukee Kiwanis Beach Party: Alter-Ego Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Geoff Landon & Friends (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Liam Ford Band (9pm) Potbelly Sandwich Shop (East Side), Texas Dave (noon) Riverside Theater, La La Land in Concert w/the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra Shank Hall, The Skints w/The Tritonics Site 1A, Walker & Royce Smitty’s On The Edge (Mequon), Matt MF Tyner The Bay Restaurant, Julie Thompson N’ Troy The Landing at Hoyt Park, Scotch and Soda (5pm) Trinity Three Irish Pubs, Shag w/DJ Vamp Up & Under Pub, Alcohol is Rehab w/The F in Fun Von Trier, Cajun Strangers Wilson House (Port Washington), Film screening: “Six Generations of the Blues: From Mississippi to Chicago” w/musical perfromance (4pm) Wisconsin State Fair Park, Greek Fest: 4 on the Floor

SATURDAY, JUNE 24

88Nine Radio Milwaukee, 88Nine Block Party w/Noname, Strand of Oaks, Field Report, REYNA, D’Amato, Abby Jeanne (1:30pm) Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Piano Night Bavarian Bierhaus, The Squeezettes (6pm) Bootz Saloon, Gone Country Cactus Club, Hidden Hospitals w/Telethon & Magnetic Minds Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), David Noll Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Hobbyists w/Evacuate The Earth (8pm); DJ: Lemonie Fresh (10pm) Delafield Brewhaus, The Note Benders East Side Summer Solstice Music Festival (E. North Ave.), West Stage: Negative/Positive (3:30pm), B`Free (4:45pm), Shoot Down the Moon (6pm), The Fatty Acids (8:30pm), De La Buena (9:45pm). Murray Stage: Amanda Huff (3:15pm), Mouse Corn (4:30pm), Marielle Allschwang & The Visitations (5:45pm), Painted Caves (7pm), Antler House (8:15pm), Midwest Death Rattle (9:30pm). East Stage: School of Rock (3:45pm), LUXI (5pm), Vincent VanGreat (6:15pm), Whips (7:30pm), Lex Allen (8:45pm), WebsterX (10pm) Elkhorn Saloon (Elkhorn), Carole & the DV8’s Fox Point Farmers Market, Doc Green and The Machine w/ Carlos Adames (10am) Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys Holz Motors, Floor It! (12pm) Jackson’s Blue Ribbon Pub (Downtown), Rene & Rene Jazz Estate, Mike Kubicki Trio (8pm), Late Night Session: Late Night Session: Mike Pauers Trio (11:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Brian Hicks Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polish Pile Up 2017 (11am) Kuhtz General Store (Oconomowoc), Maple Road Blues Band (2:30pm) Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Milwaukee Ale House, Fender Bender Okauchee Lions Park, Trog Fest: The Incorruptibles (1pm), The Carpetbaggers (5pm) Packing House, Donna Woodall Trio (6:30pm) Pewaukee Lakefront Park, Pewaukee Kiwanis Beach Party: Hat Trick (2pm), The Ricochettes (7pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Robbie Gold Rave / Eagles Club, Alexis y Fido w/Noriel & DJ Danny Boy (allages, 9pm), Rock Girl Challenge 2017 w/Never Say Die & Boxkar (all-ages, 7pm) Riverside Theater, La La Land in Concert w/the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra Riverwest Filling Station, Eccentric Acoustic Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Adrenaline Mob w/The Wild & Imperial Fall The Cheel (Thiensville), Steve Cohen/Peter Roller & The RoCos The Metal Grill (Cudahy), Dummerfest (all-ages, 1pm) The Rock Sports Complex, Summer Concert Series in Umbrella Bar: The Clique Thiensville Village Park, Fun Before the Fourth: Tangled Lines (4:30pm) Trinity Three Irish Pubs, Southbound w/DJ Zovo Up & Under Pub, The Disappointments Von Trier, Steve Cohen & The Riccos (2pm) Wilson House (Port Washington), Film screening: “Honeyboy and the History of the Blues” w/musical performance (4pm) Wisconsin State Fair Park, Greek Fest: Vintage Groove (afternoon), Liam Ford Band (evening) Xaverian Mission Festival, Eddie Butts Band (6:45pm)

SUNDAY, JUNE 25

Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/Julie Brandenburg Bilda’s Friess Lake Pub, Larry Lynne Band (3pm) Cactus Club, Late Nite w/Rocka West -Drag & Burlesque Cafe Corazon (Bay View), RUMBRAVA w/MRS. FUN & Luis Diaz (4pm)

Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Derek Pritzl & Friends (8pm); DJ: Sextor (10pm) Miramar Theatre, Brad Facts w/Aye Sanford Musiq.Com & L.a.m. (all-ages, 7pm) Pabst Theater, The Music of Rabbi Michel Twerski w/the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra Packing House, Jazz Unlimited of Greater Milwaukee Jazz Open Jam: Sherwood Alper Quartet w/Jeff Stoll (1pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Sherri’s Journey - Sherri Lepak Cancer Benefit w/Scott E. Berendt, The Brew City Rockers & The Killer Clowns (2pm) Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic Scotty’s Bar & Pizza, Bill Spaulding & Friends (4pm) Shank Hall, Fates Warning w/Infinite Spectrum Von Trier, On the Patio: Eric Noden & Joe Filisko (4pm) Wisconsin State Fair Park, Greek Fest: Miller Rhythm and Brews Revue

MONDAY, JUNE 26

Cactus Club, The Tillers w/Pay The Devil Italian Community Center, The Bel Airs (6:30pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader John Taylor (7:30-10:30pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/Christopher John Shank Hall, Halo Circus w/Allison Iraheta, Ruby Rose Fox & Reckless Order The Astor Cafe & Pub, The Chris Hanson Band w/Robin Pluer (6:30pm) The Metal Grill (Cudahy), GoatWhore w/Ancients, Anomaly & Khazaddum (ages 18-plus, 7pm) Up & Under Pub, Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers Open Mic

TUESDAY, JUNE 27

Cactus Club, The Well w/Asatta & Moon Rats Chill On the Hill (Humboldt Park), Milwaukee American Legion Band w/Reagan High School Jazz Experience & Riverside High School Jazz Combo (6pm) Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, The Secret Sisters Frank’s Power Plant, Duck and Cover Comedy Open Mic Italian Community Center, Junior Brantley w/Leroy Airmaster (6:30pm) Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Stokes Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Jim Yorgan Sextet Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (sign-up 7:30pm) Shank Hall, Forgotten Space The Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Neal Chandek B-Day Bash w/The Transfer House Band

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 28

Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Irish Session Caroline’s Jazz Club, Harvey Westmoreland w/Knee Deep Blues Jam Conway’s Smokin’ Bar & Grill, Open Jam w/Big Wisconsin Johnson District 14 Brewery & Pub, Wednesday Open Mic Hot Water Wherehouse, Larry Lynne Trio Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Danny Wendt Noodle Jam (6pm) Jazz Estate, Record Day: Dexter Gordon “Our Man in Paris” w/ Dan Flynn Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage (sign-up 8:30pm, start 9pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Nomad World Pub, Locals Only Oak Creek Community Center, Outdoor Summer Concert Series: Chasin’ Mason Packing House, Carmen Nickerson & Kostia Efimov (6pm) Paulie’s Field Trip, Humpday Jam w/Dave Wacker & Mitch Cooper Pere Marquette Park, River Rhythms: Reverend Raven & The Chain Smokin’ Altar Boys (6:30pm) Pewaukee Lakefront Park, Waterfront Wednesdays: Room To Move (6pm) Potbelly Sandwich Shop (East Side), Texas Dave (noon) Red Dot Wauwatosa, One Lane Bridge Light Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Wednesday Night Live w/Jesse Voelker (5:30pm) Shank Hall, Corey Feldman & The Angels Tally’s Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk Veterans Park (Saukville), Live at the Triangle: Vinyl Groove Yardarm Bar and Grill (Racine), MRS. FUN Zeidler Union Square, Westown Farmers’ Market: Mathew Haeffel (11:45am)

Blame It On Cain

Big Down Under

(CANDY CAIN’D RECORDINGS) The second album in nine years for Milwaukee hard-rockers Blame It On Cain reveals just how much vocals can inform the perception of a band.

For all of BIOC’s assured moves that blur the line between classic hard rock and current commercial radio metal, lead singer Sam Boettcher maintains the youthful, urgent tone of a kid fronting a fledgling pop punk band. What could have been an annoyance or distraction turns instead to be a fortuitous dichotomy that doesn’t wear out its welcome over the course of Big Down Under’s eight songs.

The one song the band claims to be their punk effort, oddly, finds Boettcher in one of his more mature moments. And it still sounds pretty metallic. When Steve Draganchuk and Steven Anderson employ their respective guitar and bass on power chords, riffs and solos, the heaviness quotient increases considerably. The quartet’s versatility extends to a respectable acoustic-led, mid-tempo power ballad and a Stone Temple Pilots remake that isn’t executed to out-grunge the original.

—Jamie Lee Rake

Life of Agony

A Place Where There’s No More Pain

(NAPALM RECORDS) With ’90s nostalgia in full bloom, it’s no surprise that Life of Agony has released its first album in a dozen years. This intense Brooklyn band helped define alternative metal with albums like the 1993 debut River Runs Red and 1997’s Soul Searching Sun by walking the fine line between melodic hardcore, grunge, rock and metal. No wonder the aptly named Life of Agony—whose songs often focused on band members’ own struggles with addiction, abuse and grief—shared stages with Foo Fighters, Black Sabbath and Metallica. For A Place Where There’s No More Pain, all four original members reunited, and while the sound is a slight update on what worked well in the past, the biggest change involves vocalist Mina Caputo. Formerly known as Keith Caputo, she came out as transgender in 2011 but still sounds like a male when singing. Her haunting journey is recounted in the piano ballad “Little Spots of You,” which eerily recalls Kurt Cobain at his most vulnerable.

—Michael Popke

Thelonious Monk

Les Liaisons Dangereuses 1960 (SAM RECORDS/SAGA) A new Thelonious Monk album—not just a hotchpotch of outtakes or a concert recording but an entire lost studio album? Les Liaisons Dangereuses was recorded for the 1960 French film of that name and somehow slipped through the cracks of history. Monk was at a peak during the session, glancing across the keys at sharp angles, teasing at fragments of melody, conjuring memories of the blues and turning jazz into Cubist abstraction. He played alongside a pair of saxophonists, Barney Wilen and Charlie Rouse, over the supple rhythms of bassist Sam Jones and drummer Art Taylor.

—David Luhrssen SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7 | 33

August 11-12,2017

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Wilco w/ Kacy & Clayton @ The Riverside Theater June 18, 2017 ::BY THOMAS MICHALSKI

W

e tend to contextualize musicians by where they happen to fall on a fairly standard career timeline, a narrative arc that runs somewhere between young upstarts and elder statesmen (or for those less fortunate, between one-hit wonder and “where are they now?”), but in actuality the phases of any artistic endeavor are more ambiguous than they seem in some truncated band bio. Take, for example, the sort of space Wilco occupies these days, where everyone more or less knows what to expect from each release, but based on their previous heights, they’re still being held to a certain standard. Gone are the days when every album was make or break, all the personnel squabbles have been laid to rest, but your biggest concern becomes not being too boring. Oftentimes it’s the exact point most acts become irrelevant, but with Wilco, this kind of comfortable plateau oddly seems to suit them.

Opening for the band at the Riverside Theater tonight was Canadian duo Kacy & Clayton, which, if you haven’t already figured it out from the words “Canadian duo Kacy & Clayton” printed above, is an alt-country outfit, performing here with a full band. Touching on sounds as diverse as U.K. psychedelic folk and Gram Parsons’ idiosyncratic concept of Cosmic American Music, they clearly know their stuff, but like many similar instances of the genre, they’re enjoyable without being particularly moving. Yet while the songs might be a tad forgettable, as may be the case with anything in such a folk tradition, they’re executed well and imbued with a dose of their own personality. As entertaining as the music was the between-song banter, such as an off-the-cuff anecdote about how recording with Jeff Tweedy exposed them to a lot of exotic American snacks and American music, but also chaotic American politics.

As for the headliners, the audience, which in addition to being overwhelmingly Caucasian (as usual) is starting to look a little old as well, seemed to already be familiar with what was coming their way. Even the lead-off rendition of “Via Chicago,” one oddly punctuated with random bursts of dissonant noise, didn’t seem to catch anyone off guard, which isn’t to say it wasn’t interesting. In fact, what followed in the next two hours—whether it be something from their latest, last year’s Schmilco, like “Normal American Kids” or an offbeat oldie such as “Spiders (Kidsmoke)”—was typically excellent, if predictable, and accentuated by a forest-like stage set that subtly shifted its artificial sun to accommodate the mood of each number. By this point the band might be more than a known quantity, unlikely to deviate much from their present course, but they’re still damn good at what they do.

34 | J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7

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J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7 | 35

SAVVY CHIC

THEME CROSSWORD

By James Barrick

PSYCHO SUDOKU! “TV Sudoku”

Solve this as you would a regular sudoku, except using the nine given letters instead of numbers. When you’re done, each row, column, and 3x3 box will contain each of the nine given letters exactly one time. In addition, one row or column will reveal, either backward or forward, the name of a TV show. psychosudoku@gmail.com

Y

A

B R Y

O T I I B

© 2017 United Feature Syndicate, Dist. by Andrews McMeel Syndication

ACROSS 1. Witnesses 5. Curly lock 10. Kind of cannon 15. Jargon 19. — and hounds 20. Drive back 21. Anoint, archaically 22. Exchange premium 23. Home to billions 24. “Honeymooners” character 25. Start of a quip by 36-Across: 3 wds.

27. Grease monkey 29. — Pradesh 31. From there 32. In times past 33. The second of two 34. Sold-out sign 35. Spread to dry 36. Speaker of the quip: 2 wds.

40. Rise 41. — probandi 42. Bearing 43. Canary relative 44. Org. for docs 47. Student at Annapolis 49. Hurried 50. Typeface designation 51. Choke 52. Supped 53. Horse opera 55. Bubbly drink 56. Statement of beliefs 57. Pigment 58. Money in Thailand 60. Refuge 61. Part 2 of quip: 3 wds.

66. — nuncio 67. Even smaller 68. French department 69. Pointless 70. Siestas 71. Performing group 72. Tebow or Allen

75. Retread 76. — suzette 78. Long-billed bird 79. — Arabia 81. Outside: Comb. form 82. Have influence 83. Pindarics 84. Eye part 85. Emcee 86. Part 3 of quip: 3 wds.

90. Arthur who played Maude 93. Kind 94. Polish 95. Cookie brand 96. Reunion attendees 98. Kind of magical card 99. Dolt 103. End of the quip: 2 wds.

105. Choleric 107. Gunner’s requirement 108. Sword 109. City in Liguria 110. Vapors 111. Barbecue fare 112. Dispatched 113. Put forth effort 114. Leavening 115. — -dieu DOWN 1. False 2. Facilitate 3. Man in Fredericksburg 4. Bony fish 5. Sleeplike state 6. Bas- — 7. Monumental 8. Dry, said of wine 9. Did a PI’s job 10. Carhop cousin 11. Sadat of Egypt 12. Split 13. Overhead railways 14. Strainer anagram

15. Guardianship 16. Go-between 17. A relative 18. Carried 26. Prickle 28. Cuckoo 30. In that case 33. Willow rod 34. Bird common to marshes 36. Drug plant 37. Semitic goddess 38. Coarse 39. Sassy 40. Expert on meaning in language 43. — plexus 44. Tylenol alternative 45. Poser 46. “The — and the Ecstasy” 48. Go leisurely 49. Dark beer 50. Helicopter mechanism 51. Run-down car 54. Priest’s vestment 55. Eateries 56. Maps 57. Hoisting apparatus 58. Shoot from concealment 59. Blows 61. Ill-will

62. Crazed 63. To smithereens 64. Not disposed 65. Word in the society pages 71. Far too heavy 72. S-X link 73. Notion 74. Farrow and namesakes 76. Successor to Harding 77. Hard dry bread 78. Name 80. Zither 82. Cotton material 83. Buckeye’s state 86. Warning of sorts 87. Ways 88. — Miller Hemingway 89. Look, a mouse!

90. Shows 91. Flee with a lover 92. American poet 94. Relish 97. Sports event 98. Pitchfork prong 99. Dalai — 100. Noble’s title 101. Both: Prefix 102. Suggested amount 104. Ancient Roman title 106. Regret

Solution to last week’s puzzle

S H A C I K J U

Q U N E D E T R W C H E E L M V I N D G

I L A A B U Z O F I I G A R G O Y L I E T C I C T E E T H A C O L A R S H I P E N R V E L O O S E X I L T L I Z E O O Z T V G E E R E C Y C L

C

Z

O T C B C O A

E E

T D R

N E

D

R

E

6/15 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 35 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

Join The Crowd Solution: 35 Letters

© 2017 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.

T E X S P R M E S S

A

Alarm Angry Arrival Bike Boss Breakfast Briefcase Bus Crisis Crowds Cyclist Dark Eggs

Fares Grumpy Hash Ills Ironing Late Money Motor Newspaper Phone Police Race Radio

Run Sandwiches Shoes Shouts Sleep Tears Teeth Tows Trackwork Traffic jam Walk Winter

36 | J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7

6/15 Solution: Always make sure to get your bearings before you leave port SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Solution: The crazy rush to get to work in the morning

Creators Syndicate 737 3rd Street • Hermosa Beach, CA 90254

Date: 6/22/17

::CHUCK SHEPHERD’S

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now that you’ve mostly paid off one of your debts to the past, you can go window-shopping for the future’s best offers. You’re finally ready to leave behind a power spot you’ve outgrown and launch your quest to discover fresh power spots. So bid farewell to lost causes and ghostly temptations, Cancerian. Slip away from attachments to traditions that no longer move you and the deadweight of your original family’s expectations. Soon you’ll be empty and light and free—and ready to make a vigorous first impression when you encounter potential allies in the frontier.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I suspect you will soon have an up-close and personal encounter with some form of lightning. To ensure it’s not a literal bolt shooting down out of a thundercloud, please refrain from taking long romantic strolls with yourself during a storm. Also, forgo any temptation you may have to stick your finger in electrical sockets. What I’m envisioning is a type of lightning that will give you a healthy metaphorical jolt. If any of your creative circuits are sluggish, it will jumpstart them. If you need to wake up from a dreamy delusion, the lovable lightning will give you just the right salutary shock.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Signing up to read at the open mic segment of a poetry slam? Buying an outfit that’s a departure from the style you’ve cultivated for years? Getting dance lessons or a past-life reading or instructions on how to hang-glide? Hopping on a jet for a spontaneous getaway to an exotic hotspot? I approve of actions like those, Virgo. In fact, I won’t mind if you at least temporarily abandon at least 30% of your inhibitions.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I don’t know what marketing specialists are predicting about color trends for the general population, but my astrological analysis has discerned the most evocative colors for you Libras. Electric mud is one. It’s a scintillating mocha hue. Visualize silver-blue sparkles emerging from moist dirt tones. Earthy and dynamic!

Cybernatural is another special color for you. Picture sheaves of ripe wheat blended with the hue you see when you close your eyes after staring into a computer monitor for hours. Organic and glimmering! Your third pigment of power is pastel adrenaline: a mix of dried apricot and the shadowy brightness that flows across your nerve synapses when you’re taking aggressive practical measures to convert your dreams into realities. Delicious and dazzling!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Do you ever hide behind a wall of detached cynicism?

Do you protect yourself with the armor of jaded coolness? If so, here’s my proposal: In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to escape those perverse forms of comfort and safety.

Be brave enough to risk feeling the vulnerability of hopeful enthusiasm. Be sufficiently curious to handle the fluttery uncertainty that comes from exploring places you’re not familiar with and trying adventures you’re not totally skilled at.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “We must unlearn the constellations to see the stars,” writes Jack Gilbert in his poem “Tear It Down.” He adds that “We find out the heart only by dismantling what the heart knows.” I invite you to meditate on these ideas. By my calculations, it’s time to peel away the obvious secrets so you can penetrate to the richer secrets buried beneath. It’s time to dare a world-changing risk that is currently obscured by easy risks. It’s time to find your real life hidden inside the pretend one, to expedite the evolution of the authentic self that’s germinating in the darkness.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When I was 4 years old, I loved to use crayons to draw diagrams of the solar system. It seems I was already laying a foundation for my interest in astrology. How about you, Capricorn? I invite you to explore your early formative memories. To aid the process, look at old photos and ask relatives what they remember. My reading of the astrological omens suggests that your past can show you new clues about what you might ultimately become. Potentials that were revealed when you were a wee tyke may be primed to develop more fully.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I often ride my bike into the hills. The transition from the residential district to open spaces is a narrow dirt path surrounded by thick woods on one side and a steep descent on the other. Today as I approached this place there was a new sign on a post.

It read “Do not enter: Active beehive forming in the middle of the path.” Indeed, I could see a swarm hovering around a tree branch that juts down low over the path. How to proceed? I might get stung if I did what I usually do. Instead, I dismounted from my bike and dragged it through the woods so I could join the path on the other side of the bees. Judging from the astrological omens, Aquarius, I suspect you may encounter a comparable interruption along a route that you regularly take. Find a detour, even if it’s inconvenient.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I bet you’ll be extra creative in the coming weeks.

Cosmic rhythms are nudging you toward fresh thinking and imaginative innovation, whether they’re applied to your job, your relationships, your daily rhythm or your chosen art form. To take maximum advantage of this provocative luck, seek out stimuli that will activate high-quality brainstorms. I understand that the composer André Grétry got inspired when he put his feet in ice water. Author Ben Johnson felt energized in the presence of a purring cat and by the aroma of orange peels. I like to hang out with people who are smarter than me. What works for you?

ARIES (March 21-April 19): There are places in the oceans where the sea floor cracks open and spreads apart from volcanic activity. This allows geothermally heated water to vent out from deep inside the earth. Scientists explored such a place in the otherwise frigid waters around Antarctica. They were elated to find a “riot of life” living there, including previously unknown species of crabs, starfish, sea anemones and barnacles. Judging from the astrological omens, Aries, I suspect that you will soon enjoy a metaphorically comparable eruption of warm vitality from the unfathomable depths. Will you welcome and make use of these raw blessings even if they are unfamiliar and odd?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I’m reporting from the first annual Psychic Olympics in Los Angeles. For the past five days, I’ve competed against the world’s top mind-readers, dice-controllers, spirit whisperers, spoon-benders, angel-wrestlers and stock market prognosticators.

Thus far I have earned a silver medal in the category of channeling the spirits of dead celebrities. (Thanks, Frida Kahlo and Gertrude Stein!) I psychically foresee that I will also win a gold medal for most accurate fortune telling. Here’s the prophecy that I predict will cinch my victory: “People born in the sign of Taurus will soon be at the pinnacle of their ability to get telepathically aligned with people who have things they want and need.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): While reading Virginia Woolf, I found the perfect maxim for you to write on a slip of paper and carry around in your pocket or wallet or underwear: “Let us not take it for granted that life exists more fully in what is commonly thought big than in what is commonly thought small.” In the coming weeks, dear Gemini, I hope you keep this counsel simmering constantly in the back of your mind. It will protect you from the dreaminess and superstition of people around you. It will guarantee that you’ll never overlook potent little breakthroughs as you scan the horizon for phantom miracles. And it will help you change what needs to be changed slowly and surely, with minimum disruption.

Homework: What were the circumstances in which you were most amazingly, outrageously alive? Testify at freewillastrology.com.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Update

T

hree weeks ago, News of the Weird touted the “genderless,” extraterrestrial-appearing Hollywood makeup artist known as Vinny Ohh, but then Marcela Iglesias announced (following a leaked TV clip) that she had formed an agency for would-be celebrities who had radically transformed their bodies (and that Vinny is now a client). Iglesias’ Plastics of Hollywood has human “Ken” dolls (Rodrigo Alves and Justin Jedlica), the Argentine “elf” Luis Padron, a Jessica Rabbit look-alike (Pixee Fox), and seven others who, Iglesias figures, have collectively spent almost $3 million on surgery and procedures (some of which are ongoing).

(Padron, 25, seems the most ambitious, having endured, among other procedures, painful, “medically unapproved” treatments to change his eye color.)

Recurring Themes In rare cases, a mother has given birth for the principal purpose of “harvesting” a baby’s cells, ultimately to benefit another family member with a condition or illness that the cells would aid. However, Keri Young of Oklahoma gave birth in April for a different purpose. After learning while pregnant that her baby would not long survive after birth (because of anencephaly), she nonetheless carried it to term—just to harvest organs for unspecified people who might need them (though the grieving Keri and husband, Royce, admit that some might judge their motive harshly).

In some parts of traditional Japanese society, it remains not uncommon for someone to feel the need to rent “friends.” For example, relatives at a funeral bear grief better if they realize the many “friends” the deceased had. Or, a working man or woman may rent a sweetheart just to help deflect parental pressure to marry. In China, in April, a man was arrested for renting “family” and “friends” to populate his side of the aisle at his wedding.

Apparently, there were conflicts plaguing each family, and police were investigating, but the groom surely worsened the plan by not coaching the actors on his personal details, thus making interfamily small talk especially awkward.

Our Litigious Society: (1) David Wau-

gaman, 57, fell off a barstool last year and needed surgery, and of course he is suing the tavern at Ziggy’s Hotel in Youngwood, Penn., for continuing to serve him before he fell.

Wrote Waugaman, “You’re not supposed to feed people so much booze.” (2) Robert Bratton filed a lawsuit recently in Columbia, Mo., against the Hershey chocolate company because there was too much empty space in his grocery-store box of Reese’s Pieces, which he thought was “deceptive” (even though the correct number of Pieces was printed on the label). In May, U.S. District Judge Nanette Laughrey ruled that Bratton’s case could continue for the jury to decide.

More Animals With Affordable Health Care: In April, the annual report of the Association of British Insurers on its members’ policies for pet owners noted that among the claims paid were those for a bearded dragon with an abscess, an anorexic Burmese python, a cocker spaniel that swallowed a turkey baster, a cockatoo with respiratory problems, and even a “lethargic” house cat (which nonetheless cost the equivalent of $407 to treat).

Legal “Experts” Everywhere! American “sovereigns” litter courtrooms with their self-indulgent misreadings of history and the Constitution (misreadings that, coincidentally, happen to favor them with free passes on arrests and tax-paying), but now, the U.K.’s Exeter Crown Court has experienced Mark Angell, 41, who said in May that he simply could not step into the courtroom dock to state a plea concerning possession of cannabis because he would thus be “submitting” to “maritime law,” which he could not legally do on dry land. Judge: “Don’t talk nonsense. Get in the dock.” Angell was ordered to trial. Before leaving, he gave the judge a bill for his detention: the equivalent of $2.2 million.

More of the World’s Third-Oldest Crime (Smuggling): (1) In the latest awesome drugmule haul of gold (into South Korea, where it fetches higher prices than in neighboring countries), 51 people were arrested in May for bringing in, over a two-year period, a cumulative 5,000 pounds, worth about $100 million, by hiding it in their most private orifices. (2) Customs officials in Abdali, Kuwait, apprehended a pigeon in May with 178 ketamine pills inside a fabric pocket attached to its back. © 2017 CHUCK SHEPHERD J U N E 2 2 , 2 0 1 7 | 37

THEBACK::ARTFORART’SSAKE

Run-DMV ::BY ART KUMBALEK

I

’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, if you’re a cheap-ass like me who may be looking for free focking things to do indoors during the hellacious days of summertime, you may consider a stroll over to your nearest Motor Department of the Vehicles and take the test you have to write with a pencil like I did the other day when the thermometer mercury read like Mercury.

And if you do, you’re in for a surprise ’cause I tell you’s, it sure as hell isn’t the test I remembered from the last time I flunked it way back when only foreigners drove foreign cars. They’ve made it damn difficult, I kid you not. Yes, I understand our great state hankers for a higher educational standard for all Dairyland school kids, but I think they’re getting a little radical extremist when they expect these standards to carry over to a test for driving, for christ sakes.

For example, I thought I did alright on the matching section only to find out later I’d mixed up the Treaty of Ghent with the Treaty of Nystad, what the fock. And essay questions? You got to be jerking my beefaroni. That’s the kind of thing you expect from the government when you take the test to be ambassador to Timbuk-focking-tu or somewheres, not when all you want to be is legal so’s to drive down to the 7-Eleven for a six-pack and hot dog, ain’a?

For the essays, you could choose from one of three questions: “Compare and contrast the Neolithic Revolution with the Counter-Reformation”; “De-

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scribe in detail your favorite color”; and “Which is preferable: drinking and driving, or, drinking while driving.”

That last question I thought was easy for me.

I explained how messy and potentially dangerous it was to try to mix a proper bourbon Manhattan while behind the wheel. Common sense, then, would suggest that you have a couple, three before you drive. Guess what? Yeah, I flunked.

But big focking deal. The DMV air conditioning was free, and besides, I haven’t owned a car that moved since 1976, so what the fock.

As for things that might cost some dough that you can do outdoors during the hellacious days of summertime, you might ask me about this Summerfest shebang coming up. And my answer would be “no,” you won’t see me down by there. That truth is best expressed by a formula as elegant and funda-focking-mental as any of Einstein’s concoctions: nbt + ntt x tmgdm = nAK (sfe). To the nonmathematical layman, it reads thusly: “no bourbon tent plus no topless tent multiplied by too much god damn music equals no Art Kumbalek (so fock ’em.)”

Speaking of free, here’s a couple little stories maybe you could share with your freeloading relatives and assorted hangers-on when they come by you’s on the Fourth of July rightaround-the-corner to watch fireworks and drink all your beer: This guy got into a bad bicycle accident and his “manhood” got mangled and torn from his body, for which he got a nice settlement from the insurance company. So he goes to one of these newfangled guy clinics and the doctor assures him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, and that the cost would be

$3,500 for “small,” $6,500 for “medium,” and $14,000 for “large.” The guy was sure he’d want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.

So the guy calls the wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room and found the man looking like he just lost his best friend. Doctor says, “Well sir, what have you and the wife decided?” And the guy says, “She’d rather use the money to remodel the kitchen.” Ba-ding!

A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row wouldn’t you know, waiting to take a seat on the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first.

“Do you have anything you want to say?” asked the executioner, strapping him in.

“Can’t think of anything,” the chemist said.

The executioner flicked the switch and nothing happened. Under state law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was set free. Then the biologist was brought forwards. “Do you have anything you want to say?” the executioner asked. The biologist said “No, just get on with it.”

The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released. Then the electrical engineer was brought forwards. “Do you have anything you want to say?” asked the executioner. “I do,” answered the engineer. “You see, if you swap the red and the blue wires over, you just might make this thing work, I kid you not.”

Ba-ding-a-ding-ding! ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

WHAT THE FOCK? YOU DON’T HAVE AN ART KUMBALEK T-SHIRT?

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