Slm mag august2017

AUGUST 2017

BUILDING A FAMILY Navigating the ups and downs of the adoption process.

page 8

BACK TO SCHOOL STRESS? Ease back in with tips for academics and anxiety.

page 20

Furry Family Fun

Fill your home with the affection of a rescue pet.

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Editor’s Note Taking a time out for family As we head into the Dog Days of summer and ready our young ones to head back to school, we thought we’d take a month to focus on family: its members, challenges, dynamics, and priorities.

In this issue, we share the struggles and celebrations of families built through the process of adoption, and how that process has changed and developed over the years.

We speak to specialists in school anxiety, as well as academic tutoring, to help families discover some practices for a better, more productive and enjoyable school year.

We speak with Lisa Drake of CASA DuPage, who leads a team of volunteer advocates for those children most in need in our community – the ones caught up in the court system, often separated from parents and siblings.

For many, families are more than just the human members, so we stopped in at the West Suburban Humane Society in Downers Grove, to meet the furry friends waiting for a loving family of their own, and spoke with

some experts about how to choose a furry family member of your own.

Whatever your family looks like, and however you came to be here, as a part of our suburban community, we invite you to celebrate this month, and enjoy all there is to do as you wrap up summer with the whole group – young and old, humans and pets, family and friends – before the busy fall begins.

Thanks for reading —

Sherri Dauskurdas Editor

Suburban Life Suburban Life Magazine Published by Shaw Media 1101 W. 31st Street Downers Grove, IL 60515 Phone: 630-368-1100 suburbanlifemagazine@shawmedia.com

Director of Niche Publishing Laura Shaw lshaw@shawmedia.com Advertising Bill Korbel 630-427-6230 bkorbel@shawmedia.com Editor Sherri Dauskurdas 630-427-6263 sdauskurdas@shawmedia.com

on the COVER Adopting a pet can bring affection, companionship to a home. page 14 Photos by LORAE MUNDT

4 | AUGUST 2017 | SUBURBAN LIFE MAGAZINE

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Designer Allison McCaleb 815-526-4485 amccaleb@shawmedia.com Correspondents Stephanie Grimoldby, Wendy Foster, Aimee Barrows, Allison Horne, Diane Moca, Kelsey O’Connor Photographers Lorae Mundt, Ron McKinney, Aldo Risolvo

Suburban Life Magazine is available by subscription for $24 a year. If you would like each month’s edition mailed to your home, send payment information and address to Suburban Life Magazine, 7717 S. Route 31, Crystal Lake, IL 60014 or via email at subscriptions@shawmedia.com.

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INSIDE FAMILY IN FOCUS

8 BUILDING A FAMILY Parents tap into patience and flexibility during the process of adoption.

11 SPECIAL ADVOCATES, SPECIAL PEOPLE Volunteers with CASA create consistency, support for children in need.

14 FURRY FAMILY FUN Adopt a pet and bring affection and companionship home!

16 CONSIDERING A PET? Experts offer advice and things to consider when choosing an animal for your family.

DINING & ENTERTAINING

BACK TO SCHOOL

BUSINESS & CIVICE

18 HOMEWORK OVERLOAD? Help your kids find balance with priorities and a strict routine.

24 ARTIST SHOWCASE Christine Banks of La Grange shares her brushless painting.

20 STUDENT STRESS Experts offer suggestions for addressing school avoidance and anxiety

26 STORYTELLER Actress, director Kathy Scambiaterra gives voice to a community on the stage.

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Parents tap into patience and flexibility to overcome obstacles of domestic adoption | By DIANE MOCA

The road to parenthood varies from family to family, but for some that journey is fraught with anxiety, heartbreak and great expense before experiencing the joy of holding a newborn baby — especially for Americans attempting to adopt.

In recent years, adoption has become a series of conundrums: Domestic or international?

Agency or attorney?

Baby or older child?

Same race or open to diversity?

Healthy or special needs?

Set a budget or spend whatever it takes?

Give up by a deadline or wait indefinitely?

“It’s a blessing for those of us who aren’t able to have children, but it’s tough emotionally,” says MariBeth Cavanaugh, adoptive mother of a seven-year-old daughter who counsels others as a volunteer for Chicago Area Families For Adoption. “I tell them it’s not going to be easy, but if you stick it out, it’s worth it in the end.”

The pricey, complicated nature of modern adoptions may scare away some, but plenty of others follow their heart and overcome the hurdles -- resulting in more than 100,000 children adopted every year by families in the United States, in a much more open way than in the past. Unlike the closed, secretive nature of a traditional adoption, these days, children generally know who their birth parents are.

“Most expectant mothers want to meet the adoptive family,” says Tobi Ehrenpreis, executive director of the Adoption Center for Family Building. “Some continue to have a relationship. They may want letters or pictures. Others want visits.

“Most adopting prents come into this process extremely nervous; they think it means co-parenting.

That’s a myth.”

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While the generous spirit that inspires parents to welcome an adoptive child hasn’t changed, the number of babies Americans adopt has.

“There are fewer children available for adoption internationally, and it has put more pressure on domestic adoptions,” says Linda Hageman, executive director of adoption services for The Cradle in Oakbrook Terrace.

Foreign adoptions by Americans have dropped 74 percent since 2004, and teen pregnancy is also at record lows, with a 54 decline since 2007.

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Unfortunately for prospective adoptive parents, availability of children for adoption is among the influences pushing up the cost. Adoption fees at the Cradle are about $38,900; $16,700 of that is a nonrefundable fee paid, with no guarantee of success.

Hageman says Illinois requires adoption agencies to be licensed nonprofits, and prices are high to cover costs. “We serve 250 to 300 women a year; about 70 choose to place babies for adoption. We provide services to those women who never place,” explained Hageman. She says fees also cover the family’s classes and their profile submitted to birth mothers and often posted on the Internet.

“You throw up a bunch of paper and hope that someone picks you, because that’s what it’s like,” says Cavanaugh. “It’s rewarding in the end, but I couldn’t go through it all again. We had one that fell through. We had been waiting two years. I get this call that we’d been picked. We go to the ultrasound, and she finds out it’s a boy. Her husband (whom she was divorcing) decides he wants the child.”

While that’s not the norm, birth parents changing their minds isn’t exactly rare. Ehrenpreis says 20 percent of mothers at her agency change their mind after the baby is born.

“In Illinois she has to wait 72 hours after birth before she signs a final and irrevocable surrender. When the baby is born she has to make another decision; not everyone can do it. It’s a different experience when you’re pregnant, versus looking into the eyes of your baby. It does take a lot of maturity.”

For the adopting parents, the process takes a lot of patience. The National Adoption Center says the wait between two and seven years for a healthy infant. “You have to have a strong will,” says Cavanaugh.

Families can increase their chances of adopting and reduce their price by being open to children who are older, minorities or special needs. Ehrenpreis says adopting children from foster care “doesn’t cost anything.” At the Cradle, a family with an African American parent adopting an African American baby pay 58 percent of the standard fee; a family adopting a sibling pay 39 percent of the fee, and those adopting a “medically fragile” infant pay 19 percent.

“We never have enough families who are open to infants of special needs,” says Hageman. “We don’t turn down babies or mothers who come to us.

Sometimes there are more challenges in finding homes.”

Adoptive families have to decide how many challenges they are willing to take on, because hurdles are part of the landscape for modern adoptions.

“The best way for people to present themselves is to be real,” says Ehrenpreis.

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Special advocates, special people CASA strives to create consistency, support for children in need | By KELSEY O’CONNOR

T

his year, hundreds of children in our community will be removed from their homes because it is no longer safe for them to live there. During this time, they may be shuttled between foster homes, schools, group homes, and case workers.

The one thing that remains constant is that all these children will have a CASA volunteer at their side.

The mission of CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) is to recruit, screen and train volunteers from the community to speak in the best interests of children who, through no fault of their own, are part of the juvenile court system. These volunteers are appointed by a judge to help the court make informed decisions regarding the welfare of abused and neglected children.

“We have a really vulnerable and precious population that we serve,” says Lisa Drake, executive director of CASA DuPage County. “Our vision is that every child has a right to a safe and permanent home.”

CASA is a national organization with volunteer groups in every state. The DuPage County branch is unique because CASA advocates are assigned

to 100 percent of abuse and neglect cases that come through the local juvenile court system.

That means CASA of DuPage County serves around 340 local children each year.

Having an advocate is crucial as children move through a tumultuous court system. A typical case lasts about 38 months, during which the child will see an average of nine placements.

“

We have an opportunity at such a young age and such a critical time to hopefully assist with the trajectory of the future of that child.

— Lisa Drake, executive director of CASA DuPage County

The main responsibility of a CASA volunteer is to act as an objective third-party, ensuring the judge has the information needed to act in the best interests of the child. That means accessing and reading case files, visiting the child in the current home, attending family and school meetings and more. The volunteers then compile reports for the judges on their findings.

“Our volunteers are ordered by the court to act as judge’s eyes and ears,” says Drake. “We provide objective and unbiased information. If we didn’t do that, there’s no other way this information would be brought to the court.”

Along with their long-term wellbeing, the advocate also must look out for the child’s immediate needs. This might mean drawing attention to the fact the child needs medical care, counseling, or psychological exams which otherwise might be overlooked. The judge then can enact an order to ensure those needs are fulfilled.

This amount of inconsistency can be distressing for a child who already has been separated from parents. The CASA volunteer serves as a comforting, reliable presence in that child’s life.

“Our role is to make sure that during this time that they’re away from their parents, the children are still getting everything that they need,” says Drake. “We don’t capture the information in a way to put anyone at fault, but to shine a light on gaps that are not being filled due to the nature of the system.”

“The volunteer is assigned at the time the case comes into the system and the advocate is the same person who is there when the case closes.

The child has one person they can count on.” says Drake.

In one case, a boy was suffering from a rare kidney disease and required extensive medical care, including dialysis, shots and frequent doctor’s appointments. The CASA volunteer worked diligently to ensure the boy was receiving • Continued on next page

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CASA needs about 30 volunteers a year to meet the needs of the courts. Individuals must apply to be an advocate, and then go through an interview, criminal background check and DCFS background check. No legal background is required, but it’s helpful to have good listening and observation skills, strong writing skills and the ability to keep information confidential.

All advocates receive extensive training before being assigned to a case. The initial training is about 35 hours, where volunteers learn how the court system works and observe real court proceedings. They get briefed on the logistics of being a volunteer, like what to do during a home visit and what a court report should look like.

the treatment and medication he needed while with his foster family. Even after the case was transferred, the two stayed in touch while the boy received a new kidney.

Often, the relationship extends outside the courtroom. One pair worked together to plant

a garden outside the group home where the child was staying, then shared the flowers and vegetables with the other kids at the residence.

Another advocate helped a young man through the entire process of applying to college, from the application to moving into the dorm.

Training also covers mental illness, drug addiction, and the cycle of abuse in order to help volunteers better understand what the parents in these cases may be going through. “When you lead with compassion and empathy you’ll be able to do a better job in the long-run,” says Drake.

Being an advocate is a significant commitment.

There is no minimum hour requirement for volunteers, but most advocates spend up to 15 hours a month working on their case. Volunteers are asked to make a 24-month requirement. This typically means that older volunteers are usually a better fit, says Drake, but younger volunteers are welcome.

For individuals who can’t commit to being an advocate, there are still ways to support CASA. Monetary donations are crucial to keep the nonprofit running. There are also several events throughout the year that individuals can attend or participate in. A portion of the proceeds from the Wheaton Brew Fest benefit CASA, and the organization needs volunteers to help set up and run the festival.

“

When you lead with compassion and empathy you’ll be able to do a better job in the long-run.

• 12 | AUGUST 2017 | SUBURBAN LIFE MAGAZINE

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•

• FAMILY IN FOCUS

— Lisa Drake, executive director of CASA DuPage County

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CASA is holding its Spotlight Gala on Friday, Nov. 3 at the Hyatt Lodge in Oak Brook. The evening includes cocktails, dinner, a raffle and auctions. Tickets and sponsorship opportunities are available. There’s also an annual Champions of Hope Golf Outing on the last Monday in May at the Arrowhead Golf Club in Wheaton.

Drake says that community involvement, whether it’s becoming an advocate, donating or attending an event, is crucial to helping CASA fulfill their mission of protecting and empowering the next generation.

“We’re here for the safety and wellbeing of our future contributors,” says Drake.

“We have an opportunity at such a young age and such a critical time to hopefully assist with the trajectory of the future of that child. I can’t think of anything more important than that.”

For more information about becoming an advocate, visit dupagecasa.org or contact training@dupagecasa.org. For information on upcoming events, contact 630-2210889, ext. 304.

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Fawn

FURRY FAMILY FUN !

Adopting a pet can bring affection, companionship to a home Glory Fudge

Check out these, and all the animals available for adoption at West Suburban Humane Society in Downers Grove.

Photos by Lorae Mundt 14 | AUGUST 2017 | SUBURBAN LIFE MAGAZINE

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B

| By AIMEE BARROWS

ringing a pet into your home is an enormous decision, and it may feel overwhelming at first. After all, bringing a dog or cat into your home is a lifelong commitment. Adopting a pet from one of the many shelters around the Chicago area is one of the best choices you can make to help save the lives of homeless animals. Shelter staff will guide you through every step of the adoption process, making sure your new best friend is the right fit for you and your lifestyle.

At any given time, there are approximately 20 dogs or puppies and around 60 cats available at the West Suburban Humane Society in Downers Grove. The shelter has a variety of breeds and ages, and most of the animals are homeless, from animal control departments from around Illinois and surrounding states. Prior to becoming available for adoption, the animals are treated for any medical problems and are spayed or neutered, microchipped and given a temperament test to gauge the animal’s personality. The shelter works with local veterinarians to make sure the animal’s vaccinations are upto-date.

The shelter has an adoption process in place for potential pet parents before they take an animal home. The entire family is required to come in and meet the animal to make sure the animal gets along with everyone. If a family lives in an apartment, they need to bring in a copy of their lease because some landlords have breed or size restrictions. If the family previously owned a pet, the shelter calls the animal’s veterinarian to make sure the animal was seen on a regular basis.

“We want them to consider what it means to own a pet and all the care it requires. If someone has never owned a pet, it will change their lifestyle,” she says. “If a family takes an animal home without thinking about it first, they could get frustrated with the animal and return it to us, which is hard on everyone.

We want to make sure it’s a good fit for everyone.”

The cost of adopting a dog is $200 for puppies and $150 for adult dogs. Cats range from $25 to $100.

Once the animal is home, it needs time to acclimate to its new surroundings. Mossberger recommends keep the house quiet and calm, and cats should stay in a quiet room for a few days.

“It can be overwhelming for an animal to come from a shelter environment to a new home,” she says.

Unfortunately, not all homeless pets find a forever family.

Between four to five million animals are euthanized each year because there are not enough homes for them. Mossberger encourages families to adopt shelter pets instead of buying from a pet store.

“When you adopt a shelter animal, you’re actually saving two lives,” she says, “the life of the animal you adopt, and the life of the next animal which we then have space to rescue.”

Fudge & Beauregard

But don’t assume you’ll find your family pet at a shelter and take it home that day. Carolyn Mossberger, director of the West Suburban Humane Society, says same-day adoptions are not done because it’s important for families to think carefully about the commitment of owning an animal before bringing one home. Therefore, the shelter’s waiting requirement is 24 hours.

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Considering a pet?

Things to think about before bringing an animal home

A

| By AIMEE BARROWS

dopting a pet can be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make, but it’s also one of the biggest commitments. So before bringing your new dog or cat or bird or even a fish home with you, there are several things to think about. The two key issues are time and money.

TIME One of the biggest considerations is how much time you’ll have to devote to a pet. It’s important to think about the number of hours the pet will be alone during the day. If you’re thinking about adopting a puppy, it’s best to have someone home during the day to help train the animal, says Carolyn Mossberger, director of the West Suburban Humane Society in Downers Grove.

“If you’re gone 12 hours a day, it’s not a good idea to get a puppy because they need to be socialized, exercised and have to go outside,” she explains. “If you’re a couch potato, you have to consider that because dogs need to go outside and exercise, and you might want to come home after a long day and just relax.”

Of course, hiring a dog walker or taking the animal to doggie daycare is always an option, Mossberger says, but those services can be expensive.

If you’re gone for most of the day, or travel frequently, adopting a cat instead of a dog might be a better option.

Mossberger explains that because cats are much more independent, they can be left alone for long stretches at a time.

“In those cases, it’s easier to own a cat because they don’t need to go outside or exercise,” she said.

Of course, if you’re set on a dog but

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have a busy lifestyle, there are dogs that may not require all the care that puppies typically do.

Adopting an older dog might be a better choice because they are usually housebroken, require less exercise and are already socialized.

“Every dog needs something different, based on the dog’s temperament and activity level,” Mossberger said. “We make recommendations based on what people want; if they want a dog that doesn’t shed, or a dog that’s good with kids, for example.

COST Cost is another very important factor to consider before adopting an animal. Aside from costs like food and supplies, animals require medical care.

Those costs can add up quickly, as dogs and cats are required to have vaccinations and routine check-ups with a veterinarian. The cost to own a dog during its lifetime is about $10,000, while the cost to own a cat during its lifetime is about $12,000, Mossberger says. mysuburbanlife.com/magazine

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West Suburban Humane Society presents:

Sunday, Sept. 24th 10:00am to 2:00pm Lisle Community Park | Lisle, IL

For additional information, visit www.WSHS-DG.org or call 630.960.9600 ext. 25 Great Prizes based on collected pledges— the more you collect the more you win!

• Registration at 9:00am West Suburban Humane Society invites you to take a stroll with us to benefit the homeless animals at our shelter. Many of these animals have been abused, abandoned or injured, and all receive whatever type of veterinary care that is needed.

• Micro-chipping will be available for a small fee and “Vet Advice” for free • A blessing for the animals will be given at 10:00am • Don’t want to walk? Just shop with our vendors • Clowns, Face Painting, Balloon Sculptures • Breed Specific Rescue Groups • Kids and Kindness Zone—A special area for kids • Free pet bag, food, music, events

Registration is $20 per adult (children 12 and under free).

Walkers with $100 or more in collected pledges WALK FREE! All pledges are due on or before event date.

SM-CL1434907

Come with or without a dog, bring the family but no other pets, please.

“Owning an animal is expensive, and you need to make sure you can afford all of the care they require,” she says.

Beyond time and costs, potential pet owners need to think about personal considerations, including family makeup, any allergies, lifestyle, travel and the like. All these things can impact the decision of whether or not to bring a pet home, what kind of pet to have, and what breeds might be the right fit for the family.

We want to match an animal to what they’re looking for. Pets add a lot of joy to people’s lives. They become a part of the family, which is why it’s so important to make sure you’re ready to make that commitment.”

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FAMILY IN FOCUS

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Homework overload?

Help kids find balance by establishing priorities and setting a strict routine

B

| By ALLISON HORNE

etween sports teams and after-school clubs, it’s hard for adults, let alone children, to find time for everything in the day.

children will be able to participate in all sorts of clubs and athletics with the help of a simple academic prioritization plan.

WHY TUTORING CAN HELP

At Kumon of Glen Ellyn, director and owner Dolly Mohan has seen With the ever-prevalent pressure to do well in school, firsthand how well the program works. She first got involved with kids often are missing out on the opportunity to Kumon when she inquired about a program for her son, who is now an spend time with friends and participate in extraorthopedic surgeon. Mohan has been a Kumon instructor since 1993. curricular activities due to a heavy workload.

“We start at the basics,” Mohan says. “Even if they come in behind, they But it doesn’t have to be that way. Experts say every master the basics and we try to get them ahead as soon as possible. It child is capable of completing school curriculums, but some just need helps them be confident and have good self-esteem. We want them to more help than others. be at the top of their class.”

While for some, it may begin with limiting after-school activities; most Although Kumon gives students additional work and constructive

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BACK TO SCHOOL

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strategies outside of school, it helps streamline other While parents should never actually complete any homework. assignments for their children, it’s important to be involved and set a standard of expectations.

“It helps build up their concentration skills,” Mohan says. “It helps them know what they’re doing so it won’t take too long for them to do their homework.

They concentrate and focus and they finish it fast and they’re done.”

Mohan communicates all additional homework with parents, and they are expected to grade the work.

“It’s good for the parents to do something with the children,” Mohan says. “And also parents are aware of what is going on with the child.”

Even if students may seem like they’re on top of their work, they can always get ahead even further. In the end, Mohan aims to get students working up to two to three years above their grade level. Her programs can start for students as young as three and go all the way through high school.

“Parents can work with their children best by modeling organized and efficient behavior at home,” Bredberg says. “Setting a time and place for school and an expectation of responsibility is a good place for parents to start.”

Mohan recommends a short break after school (or any extracurricular activity) before making a child sit down to work on homework. Routine is key.

Even if students may seem like they’re on top of their work, they can always get ahead even further.

While places like Kumon offer more of a supplemental program, others, like WSEA Tutoring, offer help with homework, test preparation, organizational and study skills and executive functioning skills for students all the way from kindergarten through college.

“Our families are all busy and trying to navigate the waters of their hectic lives,” Jennifer Bredberg, director of WSEA Tutoring, says. “We work with them to set priorities, timelines and goals in order to be successful.”

“Each family is different, but parents need to make a guide and stick by it,” Mohan says.

While homework can often be tedious and parents have other tasks to complete, staying interested and committed to their children’s work can also be encouraging to students who are struggling to focus.

“I would say parents need to sit with the child and make sure they’re doing the work,” Mohan says. “Don’t just tell them to go to their room and do their homework, because when kids are in their room you don’t know what they’re doing. Watch over them and supervise them.”

TV, phone and computer access should be something that is put aside during designated homework time.

“Make sure to build up their concentration skills,” Mohan says. “Make sure you’re guiding them and they’re doing their work. At a young age, make sure they’re working on it.”

Bredberg notes that they’re also very willing to work with students’ teachers “in order to provide the most In most cases, in order to even participate in effective and consistent approaches available.” extracurricular activities at the high school level, WSEA offers both private tutoring and semi-private students must be in good academic standing. sessions to Naperville, Downers Grove, Plainfield and Often, that’s motivation enough for students. But the surrounding areas. They also offer multi-sensory sometimes it’s not, and they need outside help. instruction and dyslexia support and training for “Not all students are internally motivated,” Bredberg students struggling with other learning issues. says, “some need help more than others. With these WHAT TO DO AT HOME While outside assistance can be a benefit, ultimately it’s a student’s job to complete any assignment, and experts say it starts with a consistent schedule on the home front.

“Activities are important but people should give more importance to academics,” Mohan says. “They need to spend time on it. This is the best time to get ahead.”

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BACK TO SCHOOL

students, we focus on small and long-term goals as well as study and test-taking habits which will provide them the fuel they need to be successful in the future.”

While each kid ultimately holds their own fate in their hands as a student, it’s possible for parents and other adults in their lives to create as clear-cut and as stable of a path as possible.

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STUDENT

STRESS Addressing school avoidance and anxiety

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S

| By ALLISON HORNE

chool is much more than just opening a book and studying; it teaches life lessons, fosters ideas and creativity and helps youth lay the groundwork for their future.

But sometimes, the stress of school can become overwhelming, and leads to avoidance and other feelings of anxiety for kids.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety-based school refusal affects two to five percent of school-age children. Prevalent during times of transition, symptoms can be as simple as refusing to attend school, while some children also experience physical manifestations of the anxiety.

Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital and is now the co-owner of the Center for Emotional Wellness, treating kids in the west and northwest suburbs.

WHAT TO DO

“A lot of times, kids with anxiety have problems with transitions,” Rhew says, “like school years, Mondays, a new grade or a new school. They have a hard time going from unstructured settings to structured settings.”

“The pendulum has swung to the point where it used to be an old school approach of ‘shake it off’ to now more of a helicopter mode,” Trousdale says. “Parents are swooping in and rescuing, and almost caring too much to the point where there is no balance between care and support.”

WHAT TO KNOW School anxiety, like all anxiety disorders, isn’t preventable, but it’s something that can be treated with special care. Discovering the root of the problem often is the first step.

Trousdale says school anxiety always has been an issue, but it has become more severe over the years.

No matter what kind of school avoidance and anxiety children are facing, one thing is certain: it always should be addressed.

SIGNS OF TROUBLE

Whether they’re missing specific classes, like gym class, or if they’re uncomfortable attending because of a conflict with another student, all are signs of a school anxiety issue. In more severe cases, there are often actual physical symptoms.

“Stomach aches, nausea, and even vomiting on school days,” Trousdale says. “There are frequent visits to the doctor but they’re physically fine. It’s a psychological symptom.”

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“It’s all about teaching kids to be comfortable with being uncomfortable,” Rhew says.”

If a child is anxious about a certain activity or class, letting them miss it will often make it worse. They need to face their fears and identify why they are feeling the way they are feeling, experts advise.

Rather than encouraging a “happy face forward” type of attitude, Trousdale recommends letting children cope with their feelings and be curious about their emotions and what is bothering them.

“There can be excessive excused absences,” Tom Trousdale, LCSW, says. “They’ll say they’re sick, get a doctor’s note, arrive late and miss several periods or a portion of the school day.”

“When they start to miss school and avoid class, you want to intervene early,” Trousdale says. “If you start seeing a pattern, don’t wait.”

As a result of constant coddling, many kids are finding themselves unable to cope or deal with any stress later in life.

“One of the things I work on is identifying the feelings,” Trousdale says. “Often if you can name it, you can tame it. Tell someone and bring the inside out.”

While it may be obvious a child is struggling with school anxiety and refusal, it also may be more subtle, soi’s important to keep an eye out for signs to help treat any problem as soon as possible.

Trousdale has been a social worker in high schools for 21 years (currently at West Leyden) and is a part-time psychotherapist at Aspen in Glen Ellyn. He sees children with school anxiety issues regularly, whether at the high school or in a personal session.

There are many ways to address any child dealing with anxiety, and it starts with parenting in the home.

“Emotions are like indicators on a dashboard,” Trousdale says. “They want to tell you something about the car.”

“Part of what is going on, is there is less and less face-to-face conversation with fewer inperson interactions,” Trousdale says. “They’re ‘screenagers.’ They’re the first generation to not know life without the Internet, smart phone, tablet or laptop in their hands or home.”

Electronics allow kids to hide behind screens rather than deal with human interactions, which often leads to anxiety in social spaces such as school.

“Kids are getting electronics earlier and earlier and don’t necessarily have the social skills to be able to communicate or advocate for themselves,” Rhew says.

To get in touch with those feelings, Trousdale recommends trying some phone apps, “Calm” and “Headspace.” Both have meditations and other anxiety-addressing activities to help kids cope. For younger children, Trousdale recommends the book “What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety.”

The biggest thing is to avoid being overprotective as a parent (but don’t hesitate to seek help) and to let the child deal with the feelings of being uncomfortable.

“Our goal as parents isn’t to comfort kids or shelter them from distress,” Trousdale says.

“There will be distress in life and there’s going to Anxiety doesn’t only translate to school-age children, but a large part of the population as well. be more of it as they enter adulthood. The more we can help kids learn skills to tolerate distress “In general, about 16-18 percent of the population now, the better off they’re going to be as adults.” struggles with anxiety, or about one in six people,” Trousdale says.

BACK TO SCHOOL

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Great themes take your shindig from fun to fabulous

herbology, Star Wars, Spa science parties where music.” For additional information visit TopGolf. they make their own face masks, etc.” For additional com. information visit CuteConfettiEvents.com.

Escape for Fun in Wheaton became among the first escape rooms in the west suburban area, | By WENDY FOSTER ADVENTURE PARTIES according to Mark Murman, who owns the arty planning has never been so much For all ages and intergenerational party-going, venue with his wife Lisy. “I had seen an article fun, with so many creative and fun there’s a trend to forgo video games and social about escape rooms and had no idea what they opportunities available. There are media in favor of active and engaging adventures. were. Really, nobody knew what they were. It lots of unique options available for Topgolf in Naperville is a state-of-the art driving seemed like such a cool entertainment alternative parties of all kinds, throughout the range using micro-chipped golf balls which provide to anything else that was out there.” Since west suburban area. instant feedback on accuracy and distance. It January 2016, Escape for Fun has been a popular features climate-controlled hitting bays for yeardestination for team building, birthdays, and KIDS’ PARTIES round participation, and is a popular party spot in bachelor/bachelorette parties, hosting kids and MelI Bernas is the owner of Cute Confetti Events the western suburbs. adults, corporate, church and scout groups and in Glen Ellyn. Handling the “planning, decorating more. “It’s a fun thing to do for groups of people,” “Topgolf is a great experience for all ages, all and day of” coordination for children’s celebratory says Murman. skill levels, all year-round,” says Morgan Wallace, events, Bernas says that “concierge service parties senior communications specialist for Topgolf. “You Explaining the escape room phenomenon, Murman are really on the rise. These are the companies don’t have to be a golfer to enjoy Topgolf. We have says, “A team enters into a room and is given that essentially bring the party right to your house, different games that focus on all aspects of the the challenge of uncovering clues and unlocking complete with staff, supplies and even goody game of golf, such as chipping, putting and long locks and solving riddles in order to ‘escape’ bags.” Bernas, whose primary audience is 3-7 drive. Topgolf also offers an outstanding chefthe room within 60 minutes. They turn over the years of age, says that themed science parties are driven menu, top-shelf drinks, big screen TVs and room, finding clues under objects, on the floor, popular. For example, “Harry Potter potions and

P

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DINING & ENTERTAINING

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on walls and on the ceiling. Using different techniques, they connect different objects to solve puzzles. Each puzzle leads to unlocking a clock that leads to leaving the room.” The process, he says, requires “a lot of team work and communication.”

Escape room parties, Murman says, “offer an alternative entertainment experience that’s interactive. Instead of sitting on the couch watching two-dimensional television, you’re in the experience. You’re interacting with objects, touching things and being with other people, while using your brain.” Escape for Fun boasts a party room for groups to gather before or after their event. A fun draw for everyone, Murman says they attract people ages 5-80. The perfect party destination. For additional information visit EscapeForFun.com.

• Bottle and Bottega, LaGrange Enjoy wine and paint a beautiful masterpiece. www.BottleAndBottega.com • Flying High Sports and Rec Center, Countryside Hosts kids gymnastic and inflatable gym parties. www.FlyingHighGym.com • Pump it Up, Elmhurst Giant inflatable playscape for kids. www.PumpItUpParty.com 23 | AUGUST 2017 | SUBURBAN LIFE MAGAZINE

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• Platters Create and Party, Elmhurst Specializes in creative art parties for kids. www.SplattersParties.com • Kids Town Play and Party, Wheaton Features more than a dozen different themed play areas for kids. www.KidsTownPlayAndParty.com

DINING & ENTERTAINING

• Selfie Party Fun, Naperville Includes a themed selfie experience, interactive virtual game play zone and karaoke studio. www.SelfiePartyFun.com • iFly Indoor Skydiving, Naperville Simulated skydiving experience. www.iFlyWorld.com • Cyber Space Lazer Tag, Naperville Lazer tag adventure for kids of all ages. www.CyberSpaceLazerTag.com

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Artist

SHOWCASE

CHRISTINE BANKS | LA GRANGE BRUSHLESS PAINTING

To submit an entry to Artist Shocase, email artwork, title of piece, name and village oresidence of artist, a two- to three-sentence description of the piece, short bio and artist photo to SuburbanLifeMagazine@shawmedia.com, subject head “Local Artist Submission.”

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BUSINESS & CIVIC

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C

hristine Banks is a lifelong artist with a strong background in painting, digital art and photographic editing. In the late 1990s, she was introduced to an early version of Adobe Photoshop and her love of digital art and photography blossomed.

For 10 years Christine was head designer and manager of the digital design department at a prominent Chicagoland photography and video studio, creating hundreds of wedding albums and editing tens of thousands of photographs. She departed that position in 2011 and went on to focus on graphic design, using the name of “Hukipooks” to create her own graphic design and marketing niche in the La Grange area. Since then, Christine has created graphic designs and provided photographic editing services for a wide variety of businesses, organizations and individuals. In 2016 she accepted a position as the first Gallery Manager of the La Grange Art League (est. 1933). Christine is active in several volunteer roles, serving and advising on committees within the La Grange Business Association. In her free time, she creates abstract works of art using her own technique of brushless painting which she has been developing over the last few years.

Original paintings often are on exhibit and available for purchase at the La Grange Art League in downtown La Grange. Christine’s knowledge is shared in classes instructed at the La Grange Library (Photoshop) and the La Grange Art League (painting). Learn more about Christine by viewing her portfolio website at www.hukipooks.com.

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STORYTELLER Kathy Scambiaterra gives voice to a community on the stage.

By STEPHANIE GRIMOLDBY

K

athy Scambiaterra believes in the power of the arts, plain and simple.

“I believe that the actor is the core of the theater, and in that theater are the stories that people need to hear,” says the 61-year-old actress and artistic director of The Artistic Home, a professional theater in the West Loop of Chicago that also houses a premier training program for actors.

Why do people need to hear those stories?

Because they hold up a mirror to the audience and help people “think, feel, recognize and learn something - all those things that community is made up of anyway, in a larger sense,” Scambiaterra says.

needed to be successful in any aspect of life,” she says. “It … gives kids an ability to speak to what they see, which is important.”

Scambiaterra also believes in giving back to the community. It’s the reason she donates space for events at her theater, offers workshops, helps fundraise money for causes she believes in and reads scripts on her own time to provide input to aspiring writers.

“If you want to live in a vibrant and enriched community, you have to be the vibrancy and enrichment – you have to give more,” she says.

Scambiaterra and her husband, film director John Mossman, have two children in grad school.

“Both children were standout scholar-athletes in [high school] and were college D-1 track and field athletes, in no small part to the selfless dedication The LaGrange Park resident has made it her life’s of Kathy, who had her own business to run but work to not only perform in the theater, but to always managed to be there to help them achieve teach others her trade. She’s performed on the their goals and follow their interests,” says her Goodman and Steppenwolf stages, has a recurring nominator. role on the television show “Chicago P.D.,” and The actress credits her success to Mossman and she’s been nominated for four leading role Jeff their shared belief that finding balance amidst an Awards that celebrate Chicago theater. artist’s life was possible.

But she also is recognized internationally for her “The artist’s way is not an easy way,” she says. teaching, having traveled to Germany, Ireland “[We] wanted to find balance of being able to and other countries to train actors. She currently practice the arts and raise our kids in a structured, teaches at the Chicago High School for the Arts. community-based community. We’ve been lucky “It just gives students a sense of self, which is in finding that balance.”

“If you want to live in a vibrant and enriched community, you have to be the vibrancy and enrichment ...”

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BUSINESS & CIVIC

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