THRIVE • PROSPER • SHINE
SUMMER 2016
FLOURISH STREET STYLE MAKE YOUR OWN FASHION RULES PAGE 28
DARE TO DIY TIPS FOR BEGINNERS PAGE 36
SUMMER GAZE HOT MAKEUP LOOKS FOR THE SEASON PAGE 18
KIDS AND SOCIAL MEDIA: HOW TO DEAL. PAGE 46 Flourish-MO-Z01-050216.indd 1
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2845 Professional Court | Cape Girardeau, MO 63703 | 573-334-5545
WHAt S NEW?
Summer is approaching! Whether you’re heading out on a big road trip or just enjoying your home this summer, keeping teeth healthy can be a challenge. Schedule a checkup and cleaning at the beginning of summer. The best way to start summer is with a clean, healthy mouth! Eating healthy snacks is a must. It’s always good to have portable, bring-along healthy snacks on hand. Remember sliced apples, baby carrots, string cheese and bottled water are good choices. Though sodas and ice cream cones are tempting treats during hot weather, they contain high volumes of sugar converting into acids which strip away the enamel of teeth. Grains, dairy and fruits/vegetables are always good choices. Accidents are always waiting to happen. Simple, common-sense precautions can prevent disaster. Let your children know to avoid chewing on ice or hard candy. When playing sports this summer, even if they are not contact sports, it’s a good idea to wear proper protection. Teeth are easily protected with proper mouthguards! When your children are young, make toothbrushing a fun experience and show them that you also care about tooth health by brushing with them every day. Remember to have a travel toothbrush with travel-sized toothpaste when away from home. End each day with a good brush and floss. Most importantly, have a safe wonderful summer. We look forward to hearing about your travels and adventures!
Now accepting dental insurance. 2
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contents
FLOURISH
Q & A / style & beauty
©2016 Southeast Missourian A Rust Communications publication 301 Broadway • PO Box 699 Cape Girardeau, MO 63702-0699
For subscription information, call (800) 879-1210 or (573) 335-6611 or online at www.semissourian.com/flourish/ subscribe For advertising and editorial information, call (800) 879-1210 or (573) 335-6611 Publisher Jon Rust Advertising director Donna Denson
SUMMER GAZE
Editor Robyn Gautschy
18 features 30
Serving ‘the least of these’
32
Turning dreams into reality
Design Nadir Hussein Account executives Ashley Aufdenberg, Emily Colbert, Jody Fitzgerald, Laura Hulcy, Glenda Mayberry, David Phillips, Debbie Stoverink and Paul Walker, Elizabeth Gooch, Samantha Mlot
26
‘Makeup is fun’
28
Street Style
living business/finance 8
Woman to woman
10
Right on the money
health/fitness 12
Ready or not
14
Choose happiness
style & beauty 17
4
The Beauty Counter
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34
Got weeknight dinner woes?
36
Dare to DIY
38
Double-duty plants
40
Paws & Effect
Cover photography Laura Simon Cover model Taylor Miinch Photography Glenn Landberg, Fred Lynch and Laura Simon Flourish magazine is printed four times a year. All contents © 2016 by the Southeast Missourian. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use in whole or in part of the contents, without prior written permission of the publisher, is strictly prohibited.
age appropriate 42
Sweet dreams are made of this
44
Stay-at-home moms stay the course
46
Children and social media: pros and cons
47
The Five of Clubbs
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COLON HEALTH
1 in 20 PEOPLE WILL BE
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Why?
and women should get regular colonoscopies every 10 years. >> A family history may mean more frequent screenings.
Your doctor can spot and remove growths before they turn into cancer.
—Colonoscopies Save Lives. Take the health risk assessment at:
1429 North Mount Auburn Road, Cape Girardeau, Missouri 63701 573-334-8870 or 1-800-455-4888 www.semissourian.com/flourish
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summer 2016
| Flourish 5
4/20/16 12:01 PM
from the editor
I must say, half the fun of this month’s photo shoot was watching our models get all dolled up and camera-ready for our special feature on colorful makeup. We arrange hair and makeup for every photo shoot, and our models always look gorgeous — but we don’t always get to play with yellow eyeliner or bright pink lips or big, big hair. While makeup artist Anne Hudson applied foundation to model Kellison Hines’ face, she explained that most of her clients want to look like themselves, but better. For this photo shoot, though, I told the makeup artists and hairstylists to go all out, do whatever they felt like, don’t hold back — we didn’t want your everyday, going-to-work looks. It was fun for all of us involved! As I admired Amber Stemmerman’s stash of glittery makeup, I thought about all the articles I see circulating on social media — “30 things to stop wearing after age 30,” or “10 makeup mistakes that age you.” Who makes those rules, anyway? I asked Amber: “Do you believe in those rules? Do we ever become ‘too old’ to wear things like glitter?” Her response? No way! Makeup seems more intimidating than it really is, and we are never too old to have fun with it, she told me. Anne believes makeup can be empowering, and if you are confident in yourself and your application, you can totally rock whatever look you want.
Of course, there are some rules we absolutely should follow. For example, Amber says if you’re using glitter on your face, you need to invest in cosmetic glitter and a highquality cosmetic glue. If you use any old glitter from the craft store, you run the risk of doing serious damage to your eyes. And in this month’s Beauty Counter column, Anne shares rules for brides to look their best while they say ‘I do’ — foundation is a biggie when it comes to how you’ll look in photos! This issue also includes important money rules from financial guru LaKenya Taylor, tips for living your happiest life, pointers for handling kids and social media, and much more. Life comes with many rules, but I don’t belive they’re all meant to be followed. You’re the only one who can decide when to follow the rules and when to make your own — but I hope the articles and photos in Flourish give you helpful information to make the best decision for you. Happy reading!
~ Robyn Gautschy, editor
connect with us Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/flourishwomen
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Online at www.semissourian.com/flourish
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business & finance / network
WOMAN TO WOMAN
Perryville Chamber has successful Women’s Network; Cape Chamber group in the works
Kim Voelker talks with a group during the annual membership drive kick-off event for the Cape Girardeau Area Chamber of Commerce.
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GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
4/20/16 12:01 PM
By Lindsay Jones
For the past 10 years, the Perryville Area Chamber of Commerce has hosted a Women’s Network to help members grow personally and professionally. Amanda Winschel, the chamber’s director, says the program began as a way for area businesswomen to share contacts and help each other make important connections they might not find otherwise. “I think that when our Women’s Network formed, the foundation that was laid was very well done, and that’s what has allowed us to continue growing,” Winschel says. The group meets at noon on the second Wednesday of each month, where lunch is served and a program is delivered. To date, the group has 56 members from the local business community who are constantly working to move things forward. One of the most recent efforts is the inaugural Xquisite Women’s Leadership Conference scheduled for June 9 and 10 at the new Robinson Construction event center in Perryville, Missouri. Delivering the keynote address is Kim Becking, a nationally known author and motivational speaker from Columbia, Missouri, who will talk about her book, “Nordie’s at Noon — the Personal Stories of Four Women Too Young for Breast Cancer.” Other speakers will include Heather Heuman, owner of Sweet Tea Social Marketing in South Carolina, whose topic will be “Train Your Leadership Team on Effective Social Selling Strategies,” and Jennifer Hendrickson, owner of Hendrickson Business Advisors in Cape Girardeau, who plans to address “Communicating Across Generations.” The event is open to anyone who has a chamber membership in Perryville or surrounding areas for $79. The cost for non-
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chamber members is $99. For more information, call (573) 5476062. ‘A LONG TIME COMING’ Kim Voelker, membership development specialist at the Cape Girardeau Area Chamber of Commerce, has been working to create a similar women’s group called the Cape Chamber Women’s Network. “This is something that we have been envisioning for some time,” she says. The idea is to provide a support system for women in the business community that will include mentoring and leadership development activities in addition to referrals and other leads. At the time of this writing, no events had taken place for the group beyond behindthe-scenes planning sessions, but the idea is to hold a quarterly speakers’ series in the first year, along with various mixer events for networking. Voelker and other chamber representatives recently hosted a booth at the Power of Women luncheon and expo at Southeast Missouri State University to begin getting the word out about the new group. There, people who stopped by to inquire seemed enthusiastic about the idea. “We heard, ‘Wow, this is a long time coming,’ or, ‘We really need something like this,’” Voelker says. Although the Cape Girardeau area has several advocacy organizations devoted to women’s issues, the chamber’s new group is more for leadership development. “Our goal is not to overlap what we offer,” Voelker says. Instead, the group’s goal is to help women become more comfortable in networking and public speaking situations. It also will serve as a way to get them more involved in the community.
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
Kim Voelker talks with a group during the annual membership drive kick-off event for the Cape Girardeau Area Chamber of Commerce.
“
I think that when our Women’s Network formed, the foundation that was laid was very well done, and that’s what has allowed us to continue growing.
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RIGHT ON THE MONEY ‘Money Clues Lady’ LaKenya Taylor is passionate about leading others to financial empowerment
LaKenya Taylor
FRED LYNCH ~ flynch@semissourian.com
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empowerment / business & finance Interview by Logan Young
LaKenya Taylor of Cape Girardeau wears many hats. From giving advice as the “Money Clues Lady” at 6:30 a.m. five mornings a week on the CW to teaching classes from the book she wrote called “Improving Your Money Flow” at the Cape Girardeau Career and Technology Center, Taylor works tirelessly to spread her knowledge of accounting and finances and empower others to take charge of their money. Flourish: How did you get into the accounting field? LaKenya Taylor: I had it rough in my early 20s and realized I needed to make a change, as I wanted to become an accountant and knew if I could not handle my money, who would want me to handle their money? I had a dream to be an accountant since I was 16, so I took my career seriously. I began to educate myself about money and, of course, finished my education and have been in the accounting field for 13 years and a financial improvement coach for six years.
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Flourish: Why did you decide to write a book? Taylor: The book came from my desire to want to help people understand money and overcome their financial barriers. My book is called “Improving Your Money Flow.” I wrote the book in 2014 before beginning a class at the Cape Career and Technology Center, which I currently teach through the spring and fall semesters. I used the book as a textbook for my class, but now want to make it available to everyone.
Flourish: You have been heavily involved with community outreach and financial education. What has been your biggest push to teach the free workshops at the library, Options for Women, Mending Hearts and the Family Counseling Center in Cape Girardeau? Taylor: My motivation to teach free workshops is from my strong desire to empower people to be in control of their financial future. Many allow money to dictate to them instead of them doing the dictating. Also, I wanted to make sure anyone who wanted to attend did not have to worry about paying for it. I have taught more than 30 classes. The classes I taught at Mending Hearts and the Family Counseling Center were in collaboration with the Cape Zonta Club, of which I am a member. I love sharing with the women, as I can relate to many of their financial situations; this helps open up dialogue. Flourish: How did you become the “Money Clues Lady” on the Heartland CW, and how do you think that program benefits the community? Taylor: This is such a fun question because I enjoy being the Money Clues Lady. It all began when my husband started a TV show call “Faith Focus” in July 2015. We thought about what could be added to the show, and since I already had a Money Clues group on Facebook, that became the idea. We thought it best that I be called “The Money Clues Lady.” I love it, and those who watch the show each day at 6:30 a.m. love it as well. The show in general is powerful, and the “Money Clues” piece adds a unique element that teaches people the simple concepts of
money. I have received comments from women saying they have learned a lot about money by watching “Money Clues.” Flourish: Who have been your biggest role models throughout your career? Taylor: This is a tough question because I’ve had so many role models, but I would have to say my husband, Adrian Taylor Jr., who is a pastor, author, leader and much more, has motivated me to do what is in my heart, to not take “no” for an answer, share “Money Clues” on TV, to publish my books and to never stop. Also, Carol Craigie, who is a certified financial planner, has been great encouragement and has challenged me to strive for more. I am thankful to have these two in my corner. Flourish: Why are you passionate about your work? Taylor: I love people and I am enthusiastic about empowering kids and adults financially. I believe anyone can become a great money manager. Flourish: What do you enjoy most about your job? Taylor: Seeing the enthusiasm once a person gains the proper knowledge about money, applies it and sees results. Also, when someone tells me they are teaching others about money after attending my class. This makes my day, knowing a person’s life has changed. Flourish: What is your best financial advice for women in the area? Taylor: You are the chief financial officer of your life; good or bad management depicts your financial future.
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health & fitness / pregnancy
READY OR NOT Many services available for women with unplanned pregnancies
By Logan Young
Having an unplanned pregnancy can be a stressful, frightening time in a woman’s life. In Cape Girardeau, there are several locations — including Birthright, Options for Women and Lutheran Family and Children’s Services — where women can find counseling, care and alternative options for their pregnancy. Options for Women is a faith-based, interdenominational, not-for-profit organization completely funded by fundraisers and private donations. “Our goal is to help for the long term and support families through the process,” says Michelle Scherer, executive director of the organization. At the facility, at 354 S. Silver Springs Road in Cape Girardeau, women are offered pregnancy tests; advocacy and counseling regarding options and services available; education information regarding pregnancy, adoption and abortion alternatives; parenting classes; and some material support. The center also offers first-trimester ultrasounds between 7 and 14 weeks. Parenting classes meet every other Monday night for mothers and couples. The classes feature a curriculum from Heritage House, which covers pregnancy through the baby’s first 12 months. Scherer says they plan to expand the program to offer guidance as the children continue to grow. Individuals who go to the parenting classes earn points, which they can then use to shop in the facility’s baby
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boutique. The boutique has diapers, wipes, household items, clothing for babies and other baby items. “It’s kind of an incentive-based program, to keep them involved in the program,” Scherer says. Another positive effect of the parenting classes is the reinforcement that the women are not alone in their pregnancy, and have a number of options available to them. “I think they need to know they’re not alone. And for a lot of them, they see others that are in the same situation they’re in and it’s kind of a relief to them to know that, ‘It’s not just me,’” says Kim Backfisch, director of client services at Options for Women. Just down the road is Lutheran Family and Children’s Services, a not-for-profit social services organization at 3178 Blattner Drive. LFCS offers parenting classes, along with a birth parent program for women with unplanned or crisis pregnancies. Counseling and services last until the baby is 1 year old, but may continue after that time. “We’re helping women who might feel that abortion is their only option, to be able to look at their other options and get some support with that,” says Evelyn Beussink, assistant director of the LFCS Southeast Missouri Region. Beussink says about 1 percent of women with unplanned pregnancies in the area choose adoption. “We want women to know about adoption because a lot of times they might have misinformation or they don’t
know how things have changed through the years, so we think it’s important for everybody who might be unexpectedly pregnant to know about adoption,” Beussink says. Through the entire pregnancy, LFCS counselors encourage the women to have a goal, whether it be going back to school, finding stable housing or being selfsufficient, says Leisa Blissett, director of the LFCS Southeast Missouri Region. “To actually see a client that comes in homeless or anything that makes them in that crisis, and to see them thrive, or even if it’s a baby step, but to see them meet that goal, that’s very rewarding for them to see it in themselves,” Blissett says. For a number of women with unplanned pregnancies, knowing they have support and someone who cares about them can make all the difference. “Seeing the relief on a client’s face when they see that they have somebody that cares about them that wants to hear their story, that wants to walk beside them as they try to change their life, that’s pretty awesome,” Beussink says. Another option in Cape Girardeau is Birthright, a not-for-profit organization at 2633 Hopper Road that has offered support for women with unplanned pregnancies for more than 45 years. Birthright offers free counseling to talk about life options, financial services, maternity and baby clothes and assistance with parenting supplies like diapers, formula and breast pumps. Kim Sellers, director of Birthright, says one of their main goals is to help
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women further their education, whether that be taking the HiSET exam to get their high school diploma, going on to nursing school or going back to school. “We’re all about educating them; we want to educate them so they can support their family,” Sellers says. One of the most important goals of Birthright and the other organizations in the area is to give women support and let them know others care about them, no matter their choices. “To tell them that we support life and to help them choose life and then send them out and do nothing about it is a travesty, and that’s not what we do,” Sellers says. “We want to support them as much as we can to support the choice that they make.” About 400 women go through Birthright on an average monthly basis, and more than 1,100 mothers were given help and support in 2015. “Women need to be supported. Some women, they have no one and they have nothing,” Sellers says. Local facilities available for women and families with unplanned pregnancies work collaboratively to ensure each woman or family has the best experience and best options available to them. Each organization does community referrals, and encourages women to go to the other organizations if they see a need they can fulfill. Beussink and Sellers facilitate a support group for mothers who have chosen adoption, called Hope and Healing Birth Parent Support Group, which meets at 6 p.m. the second Thursday of every month at the LFCS office. On the third Wednesday of every month, Birthright collaborates with Building Blocks, a prenatal and early childhood nursing program, to host Mom’s Club, a support group for new moms. “Family, my whole life, has been a mainstay and a very important thing. Anything we can do to strengthen families in today’s world, whatever that means, we want to be there for them and do that,” Scherer says. All services offered by Birthright, LFCS and Options for Women are free and confidential. The nearest clinic that offers abortion services is in St. Louis, but some area doctors may prescribe the abortion pill.
“
Women need to be supported. Some women, they have no one and they have nothing.
”
Stock photo
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health & fitness / happiness
Tips for living your happiest life
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CHOOSE HAPPINESS
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Stock photo
4/20/16 12:01 PM
By BrandPoint
Are you living your happiest life? How does your mood affect your health? Is happiness contagious? Researchers are finding these questions are worth asking, and multiple studies show happiness dramatically improves health, productivity, family bonds and even life expectancy. So it’s no surprise that the effect happiness has on people has spawned an initiative to spread happiness throughout the world. So what can you do to live your happiest life? Researchers say it starts with choosing happiness. Making a conscious choice to be happy positively affects a person’s mood, and over time, can reset a person’s default happiness level, according to two recent studies published in The Journal of Positive Psychology. Here’s a look at several ways to choose to be happy:
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SAVOR HAPPY MOMENTS, IN THE MOMENT. An individual’s brain is hard-wired to remember bad experiences more than good ones as a basis for survival. When something good happens, stopping to savor that moment helps to solidify it in the brain and rewire it for happiness, according to Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist and author of “Hardwiring Happiness.” CONNECT WITH HAPPY PEOPLE. To be happy, spend time with happy people. It may seem like common sense, but researchers from Harvard found over the course of a 20-year study that the happiness of one person can increase the happiness of others in their network by an astounding 25 percent. “In my job, I see firsthand how easily happiness spreads from one person to the next,” says Courtney Gastelo, a bartender at the RA Sushi chain of restaurants. She recommends not waiting for the weekend to get together with friends — invite them out for dinner or happy hour any day of the week. Doing so will positively affect the mood of everyone involved, “and science says it’s good for humanity,” Gastelo says. CHOOSE EXPERIENCES OVER THINGS. The value of new life experiences also creates happiness. That’s the finding of research from San Francisco State University, which shows that having a new life experience outweighs material purchases when it comes to long-term effect on happiness. New life experiences don’t have to be expensive trips to exotic locations; they can be as simple as taking a dance class, mastering a cooking skill, trying a new food or learning how to speak another language. EXERCISE. Hitting the road or the weights can turn a bad day into a good one. Research from the University of Bristol shows exercising on workdays has an even bigger effect on mood. It’s because exercising releases endorphins that have a powerful effect on happiness. Going for a walk or hike outside has the added benefit of sunshine and fresh air, too. For an even more powerful happiness boost, researchers suggest finding an exercise buddy.
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The Beauty Counter
Q & A / style & beauty
Tips for your best wedding day look By Anne Hudson
While there are many reasons I would encourage any future bride to consider hiring a makeup artist for her wedding day, there are still many brides out there who prefer doing their makeup themselves. Whether you choose to hire someone or DIY it, I want to provide you with some tips and information about how to ensure you look your best on your wedding day. LEAVE THE STRESS TO THE MAKEUP ARTIST Let’s be honest. A wedding can be painfully expensive. Even the DIY-ers out there still have to spend a pretty penny here and there to make those gorgeous centerpieces they see on Pinterest. And if you’re going to spend that much money on your dress, location, catering and photography, why would you want to skimp out on the most important part of that wedding? The most important part, of course, is you! Hiring a makeup artist can eliminate a lot of stress on you the day of the wedding. You have so many things going on right up to the moment you walk down the aisle. Give yourself a moment to destress from the chaos and allow someone who is trained at making you look flawless do the work for you. Hiring a makeup artist rather than doing it yourself can ensure you not only look exactly how you envision, but it also will ensure your makeup lasts the whole day. In most situations, the makeup artist will meet with you before the big day and have a consultation, including a trial run, to make sure both of you are on the same page when it comes to how you see yourself on your wedding day.
sure by now you’ve been told using foundation with SPF is a big no-no if you’re going to be in pictures. While that is true, it’s also important to protect your skin. You may want to limit how much SPF (whether in the primers or the foundation itself ) you use. SPF in foundation is what causes the “flashback” you see in photos that can make your face look starkly white in comparison to the rest of your body. It is literally your face reflecting the light from flash photography going off toward your face. If your wedding and reception are outside during the day, chances are there may not be much direct flash photography, if any at all, so using foundation with a higher SPF would not be so bad. If your wedding and reception are inside, avoiding an SPF-based foundation would be fine. However, it seems more common that most weddings, especially now that we are entering the spring and summer, take place inside and out, and much of the photography will occur outdoors. This is when you may want to consider something with a minimal SPF (most brands will contain at least 15 SPF). This will help avoid that flashback, but also give your face some protection from direct sunlight.
LAST KISS GOODNIGHT One of the biggest concerns I get from brides is ensuring that their lipstick doesn’t come off before the ceremony has ended. Brides want their lipstick to last through every kiss and every bite they take that evening. The last thing a bride needs is to worry about having that dreaded lipliner ring around her mouth because all her lipstick has worn off. Also, as a bride, there will be tons of impromptu pictures being taken of you throughout the day, and carrying a tube of lipstick to apply every time someone says, “Let’s take a LIGHTS, CAMERA, FLASHBACK! For the untrained eye, it would be easy to think picture,” can be inconvenient. One trick makeup artists do to ensure longevity all foundations look and perform the same. In reality, this could not be further from the truth. is to apply a lip stain in a similar color all over You want to make sure that on your wedding day, the lips, then a liner, then the lipstick. The stain you have a foundation that works not only for will help prevent the stark contrast between your your skin, but in multiple weather and lighting lip color and your natural lip color being exposed. Next, blot a couple of times and repeat the liner conditions. The first thing to consider is whether there will and lipstick process. Finally, set the lips with a be a lot of flash photography (this is something powder by separating a piece of tissue and placing you can discuss with your photographer). I’m it over the lips, then lightly dusting a translucent
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About Anne
Anne Hudson, a self-taught makeup artist, has had a passion for makeup since she was old enough to know what powder was. She could write a book about red lipstick, but for now, she’s offering her best tips in Flourish magazine. Have a question for Anne? Send it to rgautschy@semissourian.com, and you might find the answer in a future issue of Flourish.
powder over the lips. This will prevent the lip product from transferring onto clothes or other people. DON’T LOOK TOO MATCHY-MATCHY When thinking about how you want to look for your wedding day, a lot of brides consider the bridesmaid dresses and the colors for their wedding. Although I agree that you want everyone in your party to look polished from head to toe, it’s important to keep in mind what works best for your complexion and that of your bridesmaids. If your bridesmaid dresses are turquoise, you may want to seriously reconsider matching their eyeshadow to their dresses. Likewise, if the colors of your wedding are black and white, you may want to ease up on how smoky you do your eyeshadow that day. If you hire a makeup artist, he or she will be able to come up with a look that is tailored to you and will make you look your best. If you’ll be doing your own makeup, you want to search for products that will help accentuate and highlight your facial features while receding any imperfections. Continued on page 41
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style & beauty / summer gaze
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In order of appearance: Model: Leslee Ricketts Makeup: Amber Stemmerman Hair: Leslee, a hairstylist at First Impression Techniques in Cape Girardeau, styled her own hair, with help from Amber Model: Samantha Rinehart Hair: Hayley Kramer of Concepts Styling Salon in Cape Girardeau Makeup: Aly Baker of Concepts Styling Salon in Cape Girardeau Model: Taylor Miinch Hair: Monica Cradduck of JCPenney Salon in Cape Girardeau Makeup: Casey Leek of Sephora Model: Kellison Hines Hair: Heather Carmack and Nicole Sinn of Shear Madness in Cape Girardeau Makeup: Anne Hudson Model: Erin Ragan Hair and makeup: Bethany Adams at The Hair Loft in Cape Girardeau All accessories from Somewhere in Time Antiques in Cape Girardeau Photography by Laura Simon Styled by Robyn Gautschy and Laura Simon
Photo gallery View more fashion photos at semissourian.com/flourish
SUMMER GAZE HOT MAKEUP LOOKS FOR THE SEASON
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style & beauty / makeup
Amber Stemmerman, far left, at the Univision preparty with her boss, Hector Barraza, and fellow artist Kaitlin Williams. (Submitted photo)
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‘MAKEUP IS FUN’
Cape Girardeau makeup artist Amber Stemmerman dishes on her experience working at the Latin Grammys Interview by Robyn Gautschy
Flourish: Let’s start from the beginning: When did your love of makeup first begin? Amber: I have loved makeup and all things fashion ever since I can remember! I grew up in a neighborhood of all boys, so there were certainly a few unwilling victims who fell subject to my makeup practices! Flourish: How did makeup become a career for you? What experience and training have you had? Amber: For me, I always saw makeup as a passion or a dream job — I never imagined I could turn it into a real career! I was self-taught, as many artists are, and felt like I needed to be challenged. I enrolled at TNT Agency in Southern California and studied the makeup artistry in depth there.
were working with all the dancers and were able to hear private performances from Fifth Harmony, Ricky Martin, Major Lazer, Omi, J Balvin and more. Plus, I was so shocked when renowned choreographer (and Jennifer Lopez’s boyfriend) Casper Smart walked into the makeup room for a dancer consultation! Naturally, I had to get a selfie! He was such a sweetheart about it and I tried not to fan girl out ... tried! Flourish: What’s next? Any other cool projects in the works? Amber: I do have a top-secret, very important project in the works! I can’t give away too many details yet, but just know you will see lots of beautiful things coming from me soon. I will be releasing more info on my social media accounts in the near future.
Flourish: What do you love about your work? Amber: I love being able to offer clients that “wow” moment. There is no better feeling than having a client tell me I have helped them feel special for an important day in their life.
Flourish: What is your No. 1 makeup or beauty tip for women? Amber: I do believe that beauty starts with skin care. Your skin is your largest organ; it’s so important to drink lots of water and wear SPF. Remember: Makeup is fun! Don’t forget to take care of yourself — and then have fun with makeup!
Flourish: We hear you did makeup at the Latin Grammys — that is so exciting! How did that come about? Amber: The Latin Grammys was an amazing experience for me! Luckily, I am with The Nation’s Top Agency, where I went to school, and they are blessed with lots of incredible opportunities. TNT is great about networking with their alumni and offering work for such events. This year the show took place in November in Las Vegas.
Flourish: Anything else you’d like to add? Amber: Social media has been so beneficial for me to connect with people who have questions. Makeup can be intimidating, but it’s fun, and it just washes off! I do live step-by-step tutorials on Snapchat with lots of before and after shots (so you get to see real-life skin care issues and how to overcome them with makeup). Also, Instagram is a great tool in helping with product recommendations. I love helping others, and social media has given me a platform to do so.
Flourish: Tell us more about your experience working at the Grammys. Amber: I was lucky enough to be directly backstage with the makeup and hair team! We
You can find me on Snapchat at: AmStemMUA On Instagram at: AmberStemmerman And Facebook: Amber Stemmerman Makeup Artist
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Submitted photo
Amber Stemmerman did makeup backstage at the Latin Grammys in November in Las Vegas.
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style & beauty / wardrobe
Submitted photo
Janna Ferrell is a mother of four and owns a Shelter Insurance agency in Sikeston, Missouri.
Submitted photo
Caela Ventura works at La Boutique in Poplar Bluff, Missouri.
Street Style: Make your own fashion rules By Sheila McKinley
This edition of Street Style veers south to Sikeston, Missouri, to highlight one fashionable woman’s “work flow” outfit. I’ve also got a mini feature at La Boutique in Poplar Bluff, Missouri, featuring the style of one of their associates, Caela. There is some phenomenal fashion in our area, and I want to give Southeast Missouri women and men of style a chance to show it off. First off is a pearl-wearing, Coco Chanelquoting small-business owner just south of Cape Girardeau. Janna Ferrell is a mother of four and owns a Shelter Insurance agency in Sikeston. Whether she’s running her business or cheering her children on at a soccer game, she’s definitely looking great doing it. Janna sent me her morning selfie, and she looks phenomenal in her bold-colored spring blazer and on-trend cream blouse with a ruffle hem. This look shows she is a master of accessories, with the gold necklaces and watches accenting a cool black clutch with gold trim. What better way to top off a look
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than with good shoes — and leopard pumps, at that! Janna wanted to share a few of her fashion tips with Flourish readers: • Accessorizing and layering are key. • The last accessory added is always removed before I walk out the door (via the incomparable Coco Chanel). • Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You would be surprised how good you can make yourself look. • Forget fashion rules. Make your own. • It doesn’t matter if you are skinny as can be or need to lose a few pounds — it’s all about finding a style that suits your personality and making sure you are wearing the appropriate size. • The most important thing is owning your look. The confidence you wear as a woman will always look better on you than any piece of clothing. Our second feature hails from Poplar Bluff. La Boutique is a large shop that houses clothes, baby items, jewelry and furniture. The business, owned by Lilliana and Rick Hurst, turned 16 on April 1 and
Submitted photo
La Boutique is at 1929 N. Westwood Blvd. in Poplar Bluff, Missouri.
is at 1929 N. Westwood Blvd. Our fashionista is Caela Ventura, a vinyl specialist at the boutique. Caela looks cameraready and was wearing one of the store’s Curvy Girl fashions to work. You can find almost her entire look at La Boutique. Her olive swing dress is easy to wear and a great spring dress to transition into summer. The fabric is lightweight and the long sleeves are accommodating for cool nights. Swing dresses look great with heels or ballerina flats, or you can spice it up with cowboy boots. Caela looks ready for the world with her on-trend camel-color purse accessorizing her look. She added some flair to her dress with a faux fur vest with faux fur camel trim. She looks phenomenal. Take a trip down to Poplar Bluff and you can find her look and much more! The store sells fashions up to size 3X. Find La Boutique on Facebook and Instagram. If you know an impeccably dressed young man or woman, you can nominate them for a feature in Street Style. Send an email to buytheriversemo@ gmail.com. -----------
About Sheila
Sheila McKinley is an independent fashion consultant working exclusively with luxury women’s golf wear line Ladyb New York. After living in New York City for the better end of 10 years, she has come back home to Missouri to do one of the things she does best: talk fashion.
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Congratulations to Jackson Middle School and St. Mary Cathedral School for being designated as an
EPIC is a coalition working to support a healthy community while preventing youth substance abuse in Cape Girardeau County. Through the EPIC Schools Project EPIC recognizes local schools who demonstrate outstanding efforts to prevent youth substance abuse. EPIC was pleased to be able to present the second annual EPIC School award to Jackson Middle School and St. Mary Cathedral School in December, 2015.
The EPIC School designation will be awarded annually to qualifying schools that submit a proposal for review by the EPIC Advocacy Committee. For more information, contact Natalie at (573) 587-1921 or coordinator@ epicprevention.org
Facebook.com/epicprevention
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features / mission
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
Michelle Outman, h.o.w.? Ministry founder and executive director, poses for a photo.
SERVING ‘THE LEAST OF THESE’
Michelle Outman runs h.o.w.? Ministry in Cape Girardeau to help women in Africa
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By Adrienne Ross
Michelle Outman turned her love for serving others into mission work that is making a difference in the lives of countless people, particularly in Africa. As the founder and executive director of h.o.w? Ministry, Outman not only helps Africans overcome obstacles, but she empowers them to cultivate life skills through which they develop resources to help them flourish. Helping Orphans and Widows — h.o.w? — has a three-part mission: “empowering women, saving children, fighting poverty.” In 2012, Outman transformed h.ow? Jewelry, formerly a for-profit company, into the notfor-profit it is today. Though she has proceeded with a vision of her own, the foundation remains intact. The ministry is built on a heart committed to mission work that enables women to provide for themselves and their families. Jewelry continues to play a major role, as women create and sell these items, which allows them to
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purchase such necessities as food and clothing, pay for their children’s medical care and provide education for their families. Outman says her desire is to “empower the widows and orphans in Kenya through education and employment opportunities.” But her commitment to serving began long before 2012. “As a young child, my parents had us serving our neighbors and community. In junior and senior high, my youth group did many service projects in our community and for others in neighboring states. I just grew up serving others,” she says. She put that servant’s heart to work in 2007, when she tackled raising money and awareness for clean water projects in Ethiopia. In 2009, Outman set foot on the African continent herself. She and her husband, James, already had two children, Parker and Paeton, and that year, they adopted twin boys from Ethiopia. Outman has since been to Africa 12 times on mission trips: Ethiopia twice, Swaziland three times and Kenya seven times in the past four years, with plans to return in June. Her 17-yearold daughter, Paeton, describes it this way: “You get the mission addiction.” Though Outman also took a Haiti trip last October, visiting 12 ministries, Africa has a place of its own in her heart. “Africa is a beautiful continent. I love the people, the colors, the music, the animals,” she says. Of course, Ethiopia is special to her, since her adopted twin boys, Phisher and Phelix, were born there. “In June 2009, our family of four grew by ‘four feet’ as we traveled to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and welcomed 6-month-old twin boys into our hearts and home,” Outman says. The twins, who have special needs, have added joy to their family. “If you asked each of us, we would all agree that the twins, even with their special needs, have been the biggest blessing to our family,” she says. Kenya, the focus of h.o.w? Ministry, is a permanent fixture in Outman’s life. “Four years ago,” she says, “God called me to Kenya to minister to widows and orphans. I love Kenya; it is my second home. The relationships I’ve made are familial.” Her work there is an investment in fertile soil that is yielding fruit. The ministry, for example, has purchased seven acres of land in Naivasha, Kenya. “The vision for this property is to train and equip older orphans, who are aging out of orphanages, with life and vocational skills, as well
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as continuing to invest in the lives of the h.o.w? widows, enabling both, with ongoing educational and vocational training, to be gainfully employed members of their society,” Outman says. They will grow crops on the land and build designated spaces for the creation of jewelry, baskets, scarves and other products. They also will build a church for worship and a guesthouse to board mission teams. H.o.w? has already seen returns on its investments. One example shared by Outman is Mary and Samuel — a 19-year-old mother and her infant son, who has cerebral palsy from a brain infection. h.o.w? provided funding to transport Samuel to the doctor, purchase medicine and receive physical therapy. The organization also gave Mary a sewing machine so she could use her tailoring skills to earn wages for her family. She worked long, hard hours, often getting little sleep, and grew in confidence and self-reliance as a result of what the ministry sowed into her life. Her dedication paid off, and she earned a respectable reputation in her community. “Her dress designs are known, and many women in the community are requesting she make their dresses,” Outman says. Thousands are involved in making sure stories like these continue. Donations of $35 help purchase items such as flour, sugar, tea, toothpaste and more; while annual events, such as the “For the Least of These” 5K run/walk on May 7, raise awareness and funds to support Kenyan orphans and widows. Supporters also host “trunk shows” to sell products that keep the ministry flourishing. Outman also recognizes prayer as a vital part of the ministry’s success: “[People] we do not even know of are silently praying for the ministry and those we serve,” she says. Given “hand ups, not handouts,” the women of Kenya are deeply engaged in their own well-being, even as supporters here in the U.S. are engaged in the well-being of Kenyans. The “handmade jewelry, handwoven baskets [and] scarves knitted by the widows are just some of the items” they make, Outman says. Add to that “headbands, key rings, baskets, hand-beaded leather sandals, scarves, beaded African animals, olive wood salad spoon sets, ornaments and nativity sets,” and there is something for everyone. “All jewelry, baskets and crafts are paid for up front,” Outman says, “so each woman earns money for the work she does.” This is the empowerment that h.o.w? seeks to cultivate. So what now? The ministry takes two trips to Kenya a year for two weeks each — one in January and one in June. There, the h.o.w? Continued on page 44
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
H.o.w.? jewelry on display.
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
H.o.w.? jewelry on display.
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
H.o.w.? jewelry on display.
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features / dreams 2 reality
Kelby Roberson shops for a dress at Dreams 2 Reality in Sikeston, Missouri.
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
TURNING DREAMS INTO REALITY
Cindy Taylor operates a Sikeston, Missouri, shop with one goal: to help all women feel beautiful in the spotlight By Marybeth Niederkorn
In a redbrick building one block off East Malone Avenue in Sikeston, Missouri, Cindy Taylor greets shoppers looking for dresses, home furnishings, wedding decorations — and community. Her store is busy on a Wednesday afternoon, with women and girls shopping for dresses in the back of the shop, while in the
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front, customers pick out home décor items, examine furniture and look through newlydonated items. “We try to help people however we can,” Taylor says, nodding to a shopper. “This community means a lot to us.” Taylor takes donations of dresses and home furnishings from people who hear about her store, called Dreams 2 Reality, and also scours
yard sales and thrift stores for good finds. “It’s all word-of-mouth right now,” she says, adding that the store’s Facebook page has been a great source of people looking to make donations. The venture started in 2010, when Taylor needed to find a prom dress for a young lady she had met at Sikeston’s skate park. Taylor wanted to help, but she wasn’t sure how she
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“
We try to help people wherever we can. This community means a lot to us.
”
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
Cindy Taylor, owner of Dreams 2 Reality, works with a customer in Sikeston, Missouri.
would afford it, so she prayed about it. “Then there was a knock at my door one day — a person standing there asked, ‘Are you the dress lady?’”, Taylor recalls now with a laugh. “I didn’t think I was, but she insisted. So I took the donation and I started with 10 dresses and three racks in my dining room.” By March of the next year, she had 500 dresses; by June, almost 1,000. In 2014, Dreams 2 Reality moved into its first location outside Taylor’s house. They’ve since had to move to a bigger location to accommodate the business. Today, a few aisles of thrift items fill the front of the store, a seating area in the middle has comfortable couches and side tables, and the back of the store is all about racks of dresses. Proceeds from items sold go toward Taylor’s mission to dress the women and girls who come in for help. “Coming from a small town, and being raised as a ‘welfare child,’ a nobody — my dream was to make sure that somehow, some way, if I could help one girl feel important feel loved, feel beautiful and not have the fear of being poor like I was, then I would do whatever God says for me to do,” Taylor says. Taylor feels she has accomplished her goal in life, and believes very strongly that every girl, no matter her situation, should feel beautiful in the spotlight. “We carry everything from newborn to 3X,” she says. The shop carries some men’s suits and tuxes as well, but their main focus is the dresses. “We do mostly formalwear for dances and pageants,” she says, adding, “Bridal gowns aren’t what we do so much anymore. But we try to outfit the girls from head to toe, whatever they need. We try to make it happen for them.” Taylor adds that they have dresses for prom, any kind of dance recital or competition, bridesmaids
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or mother of the bride, flower girls or pageants. They’ve also worked with local theater companies to provide wardrobe pieces. Taylor says her focus is on giving people a wonderful experience and taking some of the worry out of the dress-buying process. She explains that they don’t sell shoes or hair accessories, but she does keep some on hand. She also has an arrangement with a beautician friend for girls and young women who otherwise might not be able to afford her services. While the dresses are for sale, Taylor also has a rental service. Fees are based on a sliding scale determined by income, and Taylor requires proof of income and photo identification on file for her clients. “I’ve had a lot of repeat business,” she says. “Over the years, I’ve seen girls go from their first formal, freshman year to senior year, wedding — they even bring their babies in to see me. It’s been so great, seeing them over and over throughout their lives.” Dreams 2 Reality has several fundraising ventures that, Taylor explains, are geared toward bringing people together and keeping the community involved in what she does. Dreams 2 Reality has sponsored a dress expo at the Sikeston VFW Hall each month this year, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. Taylor holds a twice-weekly auction on Dreams 2 Reality’s Facebook page, where bidders vie for interesting pieces that come into the shop. “We have a modeling show once a year, with a runway for our models and a professional photographer,” she says. Their annual Christmas party sees 15 to 20 children meeting Santa and having refreshments. “We’re always expanding, always looking for ways to build the community and raise funds to get more dresses, help more people,” Taylor says.
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living / pasta
This photo shows an easy weeknight pasta dinner made with shredded chicken. When there’s nothing in the house and your energy and time are at their lowest, a box of pasta is your ultimate ally. It’s fast. It’s easy. It’s versatile. And everybody loves it.
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MATTHEW MEAD ~ Associated Press
4/20/16 12:02 PM
GOT WEEKNIGHT DINNER WOES?
Here are 10 fresh takes on easy dinners with a box of pasta baking sheet, combine a 15-ounce can of chickpeas (drained, rinsed and patted dry) with 2 cups cubed butternut squash. Toss with olive oil, salt, black pepper and 1 tablespoon coriander seeds. Roast at 400 degrees until golden brown and tender. Toss with pasta, the zest and juice of 1 lemon and additional olive oil.
By Alison Ladman
Associated Press On crazy weeknights, sometimes the only thing standing between you and yet another order of takeout ... is a box of pasta. Because a box of pasta is like that beenthrough-it-all-with-you friend, that dinnertime Swiss Army knife that can be counted on in your time of need, no matter what the day has tossed your way. When there’s nothing in the house and your energy and time are at their lowest, a box of pasta is your ultimate ally. It’s fast. It’s easy. It’s versatile. And everybody loves it. All you need is a box of pasta and a little inspiration. You provide the pasta. We’ve got you covered on the inspiration. Here are 10 easy pasta meals to solve your weeknight dinner woes. First, start with 12 ounces of any shape pasta, cooked and drained according to package instructions. SHRIMP: In a large skillet, heat 3 tablespoons olive oil, then add 4 cloves thinly sliced garlic and cook until just starting to brown. Add 2 diced large tomatoes and 1 finely chopped small red onion. Cook for 2 minutes, then add 1 pound peeled and deveined cooked shrimp. Cook just until heated through. Stir in the pasta and add 1 cup torn fresh basil leaves. Serve topped with additional olive oil and shaved Parmesan cheese. THAI CHICKEN: In a skillet, cook 1 chopped large yellow onion in 1 tablespoon vegetable oil. Add 1 cup grape tomatoes and 2 1/2 cups shredded cooked chicken meat. Stir in a 14 1/2-ounce can light coconut milk and 1 to 2 tablespoons red curry paste. Bring to a simmer, then add the pasta. Stir in 1 tablespoon fish sauce, if desired. Serve with lime wedges and chopped fresh cilantro. BROTHY BEEF AND MUSHROOM: Cook 8 ounces button mushrooms (whole or sliced) in a skillet with a little olive oil. Transfer to a plate, then cook 1 pound thinly sliced flank steak in a bit more oil. Season with salt and black
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MATTHEW MEAD ~ Associated Press
This photo shows an easy weeknight pasta dinner made with veggies.
When there’s nothing in the house and your energy and time are at their lowest, a box of pasta is your ultimate ally. It’s fast. It’s easy. It’s versatile. And everybody loves it.
pepper. Add 1 cup low-sodium beef broth and 1/2 cup low-sodium chicken broth. Stir in the pasta and mushrooms. Serve topped with chopped fresh chives or scallions. PEANUT AND ROASTED RED PEPPER: In a blender, combine 1/2 cup peanut butter, 1/2 cup low-sodium chicken broth, 2 tablespoons rice vinegar, 2 tablespoons lowsodium soy sauce and a pinch of red pepper flakes. Adjust the consistency with water, if needed. In a large skillet, gently warm the pasta and a 12-ounce jar of drained, sliced roasted red peppers. Add the peanut sauce and heat until warm. Serve topped with sliced scallions and ground black pepper. ROASTED BUTTERNUT SQUASH AND CHICKPEAS: On a foil-lined rimmed
QUICK VEGGIE: In a large bowl, toss together a grated medium zucchini, 1 pint halved grape tomatoes, 2 cloves minced garlic, the pasta and a healthy drizzle of olive oil. Season with salt and black pepper, then top with grated Romano cheese or crumbled feta. KALE AND SAUSAGE: In a large skillet, brown 1 pound loose sausage meat or crumbled chorizo. Add 1 sliced large onion and a pinch of red pepper flakes. Cook until tender. Add 5 ounces baby kale and wilt. Stir in the pasta and serve. CREAMY HAM AND PEA: Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a large skillet. Add 1 diced medium yellow onion and cook until tender. Stir in 1 tablespoon flour and stir to coat. Add 1 cup low-sodium chicken broth and whisk together. Add 1/2 cup heavy cream and whisk again. Bring to a simmer, then add 2 cups diced ham and 2 cups frozen peas. Cook for 3 minutes, then stir in the pasta. COTTAGE PIE: Boil 2 diced medium Yukon Gold potatoes until tender. Meanwhile, in a large skillet with a splash of vegetable oil, brown 1 pound ground beef with 1 diced medium yellow onion. Stir in 4 ounces cream cheese until melted. Season with salt and black pepper. Stir in 1 cup frozen corn kernels and warm gently. Add the pasta and potatoes. BACON, LEEK AND SWISS: In a large skillet, cook 2 large diced leeks in 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter over medium heat until very tender. Stir in 1/2 cup low-sodium chicken broth and 2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme. Add 1 cup crumbled cooked bacon and stir in the pasta. Stir in 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese.
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living / refurbishing
Jason Coy applies a coat of primer to a sofa at Shoppe La La in Cape Girardeau.
DARE TO DIY
Refurbishing pros share their best tips for beginners By Lindsay Jones
With the recent explosion of TV shows that specialize in do-it-yourself projects, remaking an old piece of furniture can seem like a breeze. Except it isn’t. Not only does refurbishing a scuffed end table or outdated dresser take time; it also takes tools. A little know-how doesn’t hurt, either. Susan Hall, owner and “paintologist” at Shoppe La La in Cape Girardeau, is an old hand at transforming unwanted or out-of-style tables, cabinets, hutches and other pieces into the focal points of a room.
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She says the biggest consideration when attempting to remake a piece is to understand what you’re getting into on the front end. “Most of the time when a DIY (project) fails, it’s because (the person) doesn’t have the knowledge of how to use the products properly,” she says. Hall, who has been painting walls and furniture for more than two decades, has built her downtown business around teaching clients what to use and how to use it — or, conversely, what to use and how not to use it. While many people stop in to commission Hall to re-imagine their old things herself, some
want to figure out how to do it on their own. And she’s fine with that. When she’s not hosting classes on how to use mineral-based chalk paint, she’s advising the curious about unleashing their inner artisans. “We take you through each step of priming, painting, distressing if they want (a piece of furniture) distressed, and doing the finishing coat,” she says. The key to this approach is patience, because layering takes time. If someone picks up an old end table at a yard sale with the intention of repurposing it, the first step is to place it on a drop cloth to protect the
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Let us help make your event Perfect
“
Most of the time when a DIY (project) fails, it’s because (the person) doesn’t have the knowledge of how to use the products properly.
”
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
Susan Hall, owner of Shoppe La La, applies a coat of paint to a small table.
Over 60 Linen Colors Available
Rustic
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
Paint rests on a shelf at Shoppe La La in Cape Girardeau.
work area. Next, clean off any dirt or grime with a light sanding followed by a good wipe down. Hall recommends using a 50-50 mixture of vinegar and water and a few drops of liquid Dawn dish detergent. Once that’s complete, it’s time to prime the piece and, when the primer dries completely, begin painting with a good, mid-grade brush. Because chalk paint requires less prep work, Hall says she prefers it to other kinds of paint, such as latex. Chalk paint is porous, however, so when it’s finished drying, it requires a clear topcoat or sealant, which can be flat or glossy, depending on the intended look of a piece. Jerri Wyman, owner of Brick Street Antiques & Collectibles in Cape Girardeau, is particularly interested in layering paint colors to achieve a distressed look. “With my technique, I like to put (paint) on and then take it off,” she says. To do that, she says she prefers using brushes
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with natural bristles because they can hold a lot of paint and it goes on more smoothly. A favorite technique of Wyman’s is to create a French provincial look by applying an undercoat of darker paint followed by a top layer of off-white. Then she’ll sand the piece to expose the darker color in enough places to give it a weathered, shabby chic appearance. Sometimes, she’ll sand enough to expose the original wood, too, further adding to the aged mystique. If, for some reason, she’s not happy with her results, Wyman has learned over the years that it’s always possible to remove mistakes and try again, however frustrating starting from scratch might be. “With a painted piece, it’s not permanent,” she says. “You can paint it again.” A key item that’s easy to overlook in remaking a piece of furniture is simply adding new hardware, especially if its original knobs and handles are dated or unattractive. “Sometimes, I think just changing the hardware can create an entirely different look,” Wyman says.
Chiavari Chair 300+ instock
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1914 Independence 573-332-7186 Cape Girardeau, Missouri 63701 summer 2016 | Flourish 37
4/20/16 12:02 PM
living / plants
DOUBLE-DUTY
PLANTS
Edible landscaping can yield color, wildlife habitat, food 38
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Stock photo
4/20/16 12:02 PM
SEE WHAT’S NEW
By Dean Fosdick
Associated Press Why bother mowing thirsty lawns when you can grow edibles? Replace those sorry-looking patches of grass around trees, pathways and slopes with mint, thyme, strawberries and a host of attractive and practical fruits, vegetables and herbs. “Turf is sort of the lowest common denominator in ground covers,” says Weston Miller, a horticulturist with the Oregon State University Extension Service in Portland. “It takes more work, specialized timing and tools. The advantage with edibles is that they provide more (wildlife) habitat and they also look good.” Edible landscaping includes more options than simply adding ground cover. Ornamental shrubs and trees can be attractive, practical and longlasting, too. “If you’re looking to eliminate trouble spots, the thing to keep in mind is that the bulk of herbs and a lot of the fruits do best in full sun,” Miller says. “Some will be just as colorful in partial shade, although they won’t bear as much.” Good drainage also is important, he says: “Lowlying areas are not good places for growing edibles.” Recommended food plants for lawns, slopes and problem areas include: GROUND COVER: — Herbs. “You get more for your money with perennial herbs over turf,” says Rhonda Ferree, a horticulturist at University of Illinois Extension. “Herbs don’t have a lot of pest problems, and make for a good alternative.” — Edible flowers like viola, calendula, chives, nasturtiums and ferns. “I’ll add flowers to a dull-looking salad to add color,” Ferree says. “Or sometimes I just eat flowers right out of the garden.” — Greens. “Highly recommended. Fast and easy to grow,” Miller says. “They also have a long harvest period. Rainbow chard is a great ornamental.” — Fruit. “One good way to start is with strawberries,” Miller says. “Wild strawberries or Alpine strawberries do better in partial sun than garden varieties. Wildlife like them a lot.” SHRUBS: — Berries, including currants, raspberries and blueberries. “Use a raspberry fruiting shrub as a hedge,” Ferree says. “Hops, grapes, edible passion flowers, cucumbers or pole beans work well as vines.” — Roses. “Rose bushes are beautiful and hold soil well on a slope,” Ferree says. “Wild roses develop hips with a lot of vitamin C that often are used in teas and for making preserves.”
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COMING THIS SUMMER! Opening in 2016 Our newly remodeled 2nd Floor. 16 brand new, educational and fun filled exhibits are geared to entertain and challenge children from the age of 8 to tweens!
Here’s a taste of what’s to come: DEAN FOSDICK via Associated Press
A blueberry shrub serves an edible as well as ornamental function. Blueberries are an easy-to-grow alternative to turf in problem areas like around trees, slopes and pathways.
Turf is sort of the lowest common denominator in ground covers. It takes more work, specialized timing and tools. The advantage with edibles is that they provide more (wildlife) habitat and they also look good. TREES: — Fruit over ornamentals. “A hickory tree makes a great large shade tree while also providing delicious nuts,” Ferree says. “Instead of a springblooming tree like a redbud, consider an apple or cherry that not only have beautiful spring blooms, but later provide delicious fruit.” — Dwarf varieties grown in containers or raised beds work well on small patios or balconies. The same is true for smaller varieties of tomatoes, raspberries, blueberries and many herbs, Ferree says: “Even a citrus tree houseplant can be moved outside during summer.” Food plants are better choices for the environment than a wide expanse of grass, she says: “You’re not going to have the output of emissions and mowing costs.” Growing edibles, however, might not be best if you’re trying to find a labor-saving replacement for turf, Miller says. “They require a different kind of maintenance: mulching, organic fertilizers, finding the right pH balance and things like that,” he says.
Genuine 1965 Cessna 150 Airplane This is not a replica. It’s the real thing! Climb into the cockpit of this actual 2 Seat Airplane and work the controls! This exhibit is coupled with a Control Tower, complete with working headsets to interact with your pilot and fun Gadgets & Gizmos to explore.
Phoebe’s Art Studio This absolutely amazing Art Room will be filled with supplies and all things “ART” to bring out the creative talents in everyone.
Theatre Let’s put on a show!! Kids can express their talents on this Grand Stage!!
Tinkering Workshop Tools and projects Galore!! Tinker with tools on toasters, electronics, etc… Perfect, hands on, fun for the “fix-it” minded boy or girl.
AND SO MUCH MORE!!!
Discovery Playhouse 502 Broadway Cape Girardeau MO 63701 | 573-335-7529 www.discoveryplayhouse.org
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living / pets
Paws & Effect
Seasonal allergies in pets and how to ease the discomfort By Stacy Busch-Heisserer
It’s spring and we are all beginning to feel the effect: runny nose, itchy eyes, lethargy. It’s a reminder of what’s to come: seasonal allergies. Allergies seem to be a way of life for us humans here in Southeast Missouri, and unfortunately, our pets are suffering from them as well. In the pet allergy world, there are two main types: food and seasonal. If your dog or cat gets itchy during the spring and fall, there’s a good chance he is suffering from seasonal or environmental allergies. If those symptoms plague him year-round, it’s more likely something like food or a sensitivity to something he is exposed to all the time. One exception would be here in good ol’ Southeast Missouri, where as of late, we have had mild winters and unusual temperatures that could cause environmental allergens to build up or not be eliminated by a hard freeze. Either way, your pet is uncomfortable, and so are you. If you see symptoms like these, your pet might be suffering from allergies: • Itchy ears that may ooze and have a smelly discharge (your pet will shake his head a lot) • Sneezing, or the reverse sneeze that sounds like a round of snorting • Runny nose • Watery eyes • Red, inflamed skin (under your pet’s layer of hair) • Bumps and redness on the more tender parts of the skin, inside the legs and groin area, and even on the chin (your pet will lick these areas to relieve the pain and sensation, but that will possibly cause a hot spot, an open sore with a raised crusty edge that may ooze in the middle) Allergies are an immune system response (just like with humans), so here are some things you can do to alleviate the discomfort and make your pet healthier: • Wipe down your pet with a warm, damp cloth after he or she comes in from the
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About Stacy
Stacy Busch-Heisserer is the owner of Busch Pet Products and Deer Creek Doggie Day Camp in Cape Girardeau. She is a lifelong animal lover who has four cats and four dogs.
If your dog or cat gets itchy during the spring and fall, there’s a good chance he is suffering from seasonal or environmental allergies. If those symptoms plague him year-round, it’s more likely something like food or a sensitivity to something he is exposed to all the time.
outdoors. The early morning hours are the worst, because dew holds a lot of pollen. A warm, wet washcloth used on the feet, legs and belly should help remove any pollen that has settled on your
pet’s coat. Use a different towel each time. • If your pet likes to roll in the grass, you might want to consider more frequent baths. We prefer an oatmeal-free shampoo. Oatmeal has a great reputation as a soothing ingredient, but in animals that have problems with grain allergies, they are likely to have problems with oatmeal shampoos. Grain-based shampoos may also provide a carbohydrate food source for unwanted yeast and bacteria. Stick with a sulfate-free, gentle cleanser. We always recommend diluting your pet’s shampoo, as a little goes a long way. Sometimes, those flakes you see on your dog’s coat are actually dried shampoo flakes that didn’t get rinsed out, and not dry skin. • If inflamed ears or runny eyes are a problem, you can use a warm, wet cloth to gently clean inside the ears and wipe the eyes. If you have an ear cleanser/medicine, gently add a couple drops inside the ear, rub the base of the ear and then let your pet shake. That will distribute the product throughout the ear canal. You can also use colloidal silver inside the ear to help kill any bacteria that may have settled in. Human saline solution (the stuff you use to store, not to clean, your contact lenses) is a great product for rinsing gunky eyes. It’s sterile and less harsh than plain water. Use it directly or put it on a clean cloth and wipe down the eyes. • Clean your house! Maintaining a clean environment for your pet will help keep allergies at bay for both of you. Vacuum and clean your floors regularly and don’t forget any pet bedding. Pollen can be brought in on your pet and will stick to upholstery and bedding. • Check your cleaning products, including your laundry detergent. Harsh detergents and toxic chemicals can aggravate allergies and make your pet uncomfortable. I use an essential oilbased cleaner as well as an all-natural oil-based cleaner in our house, and the smell is amazing! You and your family will be safer, too. • Diet. This is a biggie. The better your pet’s diet, the better his immune system. The better his immune system, the better his body can fight off the nasties. Foods high in carbs (plant
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proteins like corn, wheat, soy, etc.) will create or worsen inflammation. Your pet’s food should be grain-free or have a low grain content. Just because the front of the bag says it’s healthy does not mean it really is. Check the label. The first two or three ingredients should be meat, like chicken, beef, lamb or fish. Big pet food companies are sneaky and will add a lot of plant protein to their foods to pass off as meat protein, which for them saves money on their manufacturing costs. (They don’t pass that savings on to you, either.) Read the actual ingredient panel, and if you recognize the ingredients, chances are it will be better for your dog or cat. • Add a healthy vitamin supplement. There are lots of great things out there beyond fish oil. I am a fan of coconut oil for its anti-inflammatory, antifungal, antimicrobial and antibacterial properties. Kelp is another great supplement. With more than 50 naturally occurring vitamins and minerals, it’s a superfood for pets! Be careful of vitamins that add a bunch of unrecognizable ingredients. Chances are they are chemicals or artificially made. • Add a probiotic or digestive enzyme to your pet’s diet. Probiotics are microorganisms (live bacteria) that restore good bacteria to the body. Your pet’s body needs a healthy balance of good bacteria to outweigh the bad bacteria. Probiotics can be administered several times a week. Good probiotics do not need flavor or anything added to it. Look for ingredients like lipase, protease, amylase (digestive enzymes that help with the breakdown of food) and L. (Lactobacilllus) acidophilus, L. salivarius or L. plantarum (good or “friendly” bacteria). Most probiotics and digestive enzymes come in powder form and can be sprinkled on food with a little water. If you are diligent and have tried these things and still don’t see improvement, don’t hesitate to go to your vet. It might be time to have your pet tested for allergies. While allergy testing will incur a moderate cost for you, it will help determine if there are environmental or food related allergens that you can eliminate and help your pet live a happy and full life.
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Special promotion section
Q & A / style & beauty
things we L
VE
We love opportunities for women to discover nature! Coming up Saturday, June 4, from 12:30 to 2 p.m., is women’s-only canoeing at the Cape Girardeau Conservation Nature Center. Naturalists will guide the group, teaching boating safety, equipment and paddling techniques before practicing at North County Park Lake. All equipment will be provided. All you need to do is call the Nature Center at (573) 290-5218 to sign up. Registration begins May 17 (ages 12 and up).
Vines 2 Wines excursions Vines 2 Wines excursions are the answer for a unique, tasteful, educational and fun alternative to a traditional office party, bridal shower or outing with friends. Whether you are looking for an exclusive group experience such as business team building, book club, dinner club or wine club or want to be part of several planned excursions throughout the year, we offer a unique and fun experience like no other. Body Copy: Visit www.vines2wines.net or call (573) 579-9009 to book your trip today, or “like” us on Facebook and enter to win one of our free monthly “Wine2Wrinkles” ladies night excursions.
Continued from page 17
THE BEAUTY COUNTER TIMELESS VS. TRENDY When I meet with a bride at her consultation, I ask what she envisions of herself on her wedding day. In most cases, I get the standard, “I want to look like me, but a lot better.” This is when brides will pull up their phones and show me pictures they have saved of people whose makeup they would like for me to emulate. However, it isn’t uncommon to get someone who asks to look completely different, something different from what she would normally do. While I appreciate their willingness to try something out of the box, this is where I try to have a serious and honest conversation about how they want to look on their wedding day.
A bride should not only look beautiful, but more importantly, timeless. When she gets the photos from her photographer, she’s going to have them forever. So it’s important that when she looks back at her wedding photos not only a month after her wedding, but months (plural), even years later, that she still looks in the moment. And although wedding trends are always changing, a bride herself should not look dated. A wedding is one of those events, in my opinion, where playing it safe with your makeup might pay off better than testing out that new neon green eyeshadow that’s been shared more than a million times on Pinterest or Instagram.
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age appropriate / nursery décor
JOHN WOODCOCK/J AND J DESIGN GROUP via Associated Press
In this photo provided by J and J Design Group, bold pops of color and playful details make for nurseries and children’s rooms that are stylish and sophisticated. Scottsdale, Arizona, designers Joanna Gick and Jennifer O’Dowd use on-trend elements like imaginative wallpapers, painted vintage dressers and unexpected elements with grown-up lighting, furniture pieces and accessories that add fun and flair.
SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS
In this photo provided by The Land of Nod, design motifs of the 1980s inform a new collection. This Rainbow Charm bedding features the color palette and pattern of the era, which is experiencing a reboot in décor throughout the home in 2016. The Land of Nod via Associated Press
New nursery décor with style
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glamorous, girly confection. Los Angeles duo Emily Current and Meritt Elliot designed gold, arrow-shaped lamps and Baby, it’s a whole new season. And when it comes finials, and gold-woven storage bins for their new to creating the perfect sleep space for little ones, Pottery Barn Kids collection. A bold, black-andwhite diamond pattern graces a quilt. there are more fun options than ever. RH Baby & Child’s new collection features Styles range from haute to homespun, vintage to upholstered cribs resembling wing chairs; vanguard. A look at some of the best: conversion kits allow them to be turned into beds down the road. There’s a big selection of chandeliers, BLURRING THE LINES Traditional parameters like gender-specific too. motifs and colors, and room-specific furnishings, are giving way to a more free-spirited approach. GRANNY CHIC Antique (or antique-looking) furniture, quilts Designers are deploying to the nursery dressers, credenzas, art, lighting, mirrors and seating more and afghans give baby’s room homespun charm. Connecticut-based designer Eileen Blanchard typically found in grown-up rooms like the master, crafts sweet pillows, bedding and soft toys using dining or living room. Joanna Gick and Jennifer O’Dowd, interior chenille and fabrics with vintage children’s prints designers in Scottsdale, Arizona, like to use vintage and winsome cottage florals. (www.etsy.com/shop/ dressers, toys and books as nursery inspiration. Art’s scarlettscozycottage ) Artist Emily Isabella’s Homestead organic fabric a big element, too. “Gallery walls seem to be a hot trend,” Gick collection features an array of animals, scenery and says. “The fun thing about them is they’re totally farm folk. (www.emilyisabella.com ) customizable to the child’s interests, and easy to swap out as they grow. We like to use mixed media MOD MODERN As in the rest of the home, décor in the nursery — prints as well as wood and metal sculptures — to is revisiting the past. Midcentury and ‘70s- and create a really interesting gallery.” ‘80s-era cribs and other furniture bring in style elements that can match the home’s aesthetic. BABY GLAM Parents-to-be should view the baby’s room as a Room & Board, DwellStudio and AllModern have place to let their own imaginations fly, says Naomi great options. Gick and O’Dowd did a feature wall in a boy’s Alon, owner of the Irvine, California-based Little room that featured a big, ‘70s-style geometric Crown Interiors. “I encourage my clients to think about the design, and balanced it with a similarly bold rug. Garnet Hill’s got butterfly chairs from Argentina nursery as their inner child’s fantasy space,” she says. “This is the one room in their home where they can with canvasses embroidered with boho crewelwork get away with neon pink wallpaper or an over-the- designs. And Zulily has some pretty boho crib top chandelier. The nursery is just as much about the bedding with paisley and elephant prints. Land of Nod’s managing director, Michelle parents as it is about the baby, and making it a place Kohanzo, thinks the 1980s in particular fit the vibe where mom and dad feel comfortable is key.” In one of Alon’s favorite projects, a nursery in of kids’ rooms now. “There’s no better decade for kid’s décor,” she Newport Beach, California, she used pink and gold damask wallpaper, a baroque mirror, organza says. “The trend is all about bold, playful color and furniture skirts and a big fluffy rug to create a pattern — it’s over-the-top and just plain silly.” By Kim Cook
Associated Press
Located in Cape County Park North, open Tuesday - Saturday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Admission is free, funded by 1/8 of 1% state sales tax
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There’s nostalgic appeal for mom and dad, too. “This is exactly how I remember my own room growing up!” Kohanzo says. Look for acrylic wall cubes, and banana and flamingo nightlights in hot neon hues. Land of Nod partnered with Kansas Citybased studio Ampersand on a whimsical bedding collection stitched with rainbows and geometrics, in retro color combos like pink, blue, red and turquoise. PREP SCHOOL Crisp stripes and a palette of whites, navy, reds, greens, yellows and oranges create a preppy vibe. “Almost any color pops with navy,” says Gick, and it works for both boys’ and girls’ rooms. Pottery Barn Kids’ Harper bedding collection pairs white with chevrons, dots or stripes in bright hues. Monogrammed wall art ties it all together. NEUTRAL TERRITORY Even parents-to-be who know their baby’s gender may prefer a neutral nursery. Beyond yellow, gender-neutral décor includes gray, greige and cream along with muted, chalky pastels. Julia Rothman’s wallpaper patterns are a good example: Hand-drawn birds and clouds move across the wall in soft, daydream-y hues. (www. hyggeandwest.com ) TINY TRAVELER Introduce baby to the big wide world and the skies above with printed bedding and accessories to spark imagination. Rifle Paper Co.’s Safari wallpaper puts zebras, gazelles, ostriches and elephants in metallic gold on a hunter-green background — great for boys or girls. RH Baby & Child has dramatic murals of constellations, maps and jet planes. Minted also has art to spark a child’s flight of fancy. Put the sky overhead with one of Gale Fitzsimmons’ photo murals on the ceiling: Puffy white clouds bound across an azure vista, perfect for daydreaming. Or naptime. (www.muralsyourway.com )
Text NATURE to 91212 for text alerts (573)290-5218
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age appropriate / motherhood
Stay-at-home moms stay the course By Dawn Bollinger, special to Flourish
Mothers: We all had one. Some scold, some plead, some worry and some hover, but they all love, and they all raise children. But that is where the similarities end. There are as many different types of mothers as there are children. All mothers work. Some work outside the home, and some work from the home. Some are stay-at-home mothers — women who have never worked outside the home — or women who put their career on temporary or permanent hold because they want to raise their children and be a full-time mother. But let me make this very clear: Every mother is a full-time mother, whether she leaves her home to work or stays there all day long. Most children today have both parents working at jobs outside the home. But in decades past, that was not the case. In fact, having a job outside the family was an anomaly, not the norm. My friend Scott Brown, who grew up with a stay-at-home mother, recalls many advantages of having his mother at home every day: “We had breakfast. She got us off to a good start. But, even more importantly, when we got home from school, she was there,” he says. He fondly recalls the family having supper all together. Everyone was present, and each individual would reflect upon the events of his or her day. Conversations happened at the supper table. After supper, everyone would go to the backyard and play games. Their games were not
Dawn Bollinger (submitted photo)
“
Every mother is a full-time mother, whether she leaves her home to work or stays there all day long.
When Every Moment Has To Be Perfect...
”
City of
Miner Convention Center
2610 E. Malone Ave., Miner, MO 63801 • 573.471.8520 • www.cityofminer.com
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necessarily organized ones. The father would make a garden and was able to have time to do so because the mother’s evening meal was prepared early. Most of Scott’s friends’ mothers also stayed at home. Those who did work outside the home worked in jobs that could coincide with the school day. He believes one of the reasons so many mothers entered the work force was because of how Americans’ views changed. “People seem to think they need lots of stuff now,” Scott says. “Back then, people bought fewer cars, and their new tires were re-treads. Life was about people being comfortable, not about people getting everything they desired.” My mother was a stay-at-home mother as well, and she did not watch television all day long. She was very involved in church and was able to be a room mother while I was in elementary school. As a child, I never considered what mothers do. Like most kids, I just knew my mother took care of all of us. Now, as a mother of two grown children, I realize my mother was probably quite bored. Our house was very organized and clean. My mother made us lots of homemade cookies and did all the cooking and the laundry. As a result, I didn’t learn very good life skills. I did know how to do laundry and clean a little bit, but I knew next to nothing about cooking. I could make cupcakes and cookies, but nothing that would stick to your
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SERVING ‘THE LEAST OF THESE’
team puts on a conference for widows; distributes clothing and blankets; serves the orphanage, delivering clothing, shoes and hygiene products; teaches at school, giving teachers a break; and brings professionals to assist students with disabilities. The team even helps make new jewelry to sell in America. No matter the expertise or interest, every person is useful in the work h.ow.? does. Outman has this to say about taking a mission trip: “Go!” She adds, “Get out of your comfort zone and allow God to stretch
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ribs. My mother is an avid reader and enjoys discussing what she has read. She never speaks in terms of an English teacher, but she does remember that kind of information. She remembers what a hyperbole is from her high school English days. She exhibits a fine command of the English language and tends to correct anyone who does not. She has a great sense of style, always being able to mix, match and coordinate clothing. She has a good eye for decorating. My mother could have been quite successful in many fields, but instead she chose to stay home with us, to pour all of her time and energy into the job set before her: raising two babies to adulthood. If you are a parent, you are smiling because you know we are parents always. The children just become adult children. The parenting, the worrying after them and the helping them never stops. I was not a stay-at-home mother. I was an educator. I could justify not being home every day pretty well. I never had to work the night shift. I never had to work holidays, and I never had a summer job. I was off on snow days and most of the holidays my children had off. My house was clean, but rarely was it immaculate. When they were older, I was home for a few years, and they really did not see much need in helping around the house. They would say, “You’re home all day. Just what do you do?” They did not say that to be rude, but many people would say the same. The working mother might suppose the stay-athome mother has it much easier — no bosses, no deadlines, no office policies or politics. But think about it — the stay-at-home mother can rarely reason with her small charges or put them off. She cannot run away. Children may run away from home, but mothers never can. Well, maybe they can, but most have to be home in time to fix supper. Nowadays some dads stay at home. I feel that needs to be said. Some grandparents fulfill the role of the stay-at-home mother. My father used to pick up my youngest daughter and transport
you.” Over the years, many have answered that call. “Serving the least of these, those that are so precious in His sight, is what puts life in me,” Outman says. “The poor, the widow, the orphan, the sick, the imperfect, the lonely, the ones who are so often forgotten and overlooked are children of the most high God.” Outman, too, is “the least of these,” she says. “I am imperfect, and I fall short of His glory. I have material wealth, but I am poor in spirit,” she says. “I feel close to God when I am serving as His hands and feet.” Thus, the mission continues. Visit www.howministry.org to learn more about the ministry and how you may get involved.
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her to gymnastics class because I was at work. My daughter knew her grandpa would show up with an afternoon snack in tow — usually a banana and some raisins. My father-in-law insisted upon feeding my daughters a full meal. We tried to reason with him, but he stood his ground: “Those are my grandkids and I will be darned if they are going to starve to death while they wait for you to get home from teaching.” What happened to all those mommies who stayed home? Was it the economy? Was it our greed? Maybe it was a little of both. But I fear it might have been something worse. It might have been how people started to downplay motherhood’s valuable contribution to society. If one could not put a salary or price tag on it, it seemed to have no value. These women were made to feel as if what they were doing was not all that important. What could possibly be more important than raising your child to be happy, healthy and strong? Any time invested in another human being, our child or someone else’s, is never wasted. That is not to say that women who work outside the home do not raise their children as well. They provide those children with a different kind of role model. Women of my generation were told we can have it all: the white house with the picket fence, the happy husband and the happy children. Sometimes we can, but sometimes we just wear ourselves out trying. There is no perfect prototype of the perfect mother — stay at home or work from home or both. We need to learn to value people. We must stop making women who choose to stay home feel like less, because they do something of so much value that we can never put an amount on it. Though I don’t remember to tell her often enough, whatever I had achieved in my life, I owe to my parents: my mother and father. We can never repay. We can only pay forward. My mother would think it quite sentimental and quite silly if I were to tell her all of this, so I will share it with you, and hopefully, we can all pay it forward.
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GLENN LANDBERG ~ glandberg@semissourian.com
H.o.w.? jewelry on display.
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age appropriate / parenting
Children and social media: pros and cons By Shannon Anderson
In an age where social media such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and others seem to consume a great deal of our daily lives, parents should be educated in how this can affect the development of healthy interpersonal skills. I recommend parents monitor and place restrictions on the time children spend engaging in these activities. As a counselor, I have strong feelings about this trend. When it comes to children who are just learning to develop interpersonal relationships, social media often brings with it many complications. Being connected to friends and family via social media has seemingly become a pacifier of sorts that takes up a large portion of our daily lives. This is true for parents and children. I often moderate family meetings about this very topic. “When should my child have their own cellphone?” “When should I allow my daughter to have a Facebook account?” “How much time is appropriate in social media activities daily?” So let’s cover some of the pros and cons of social media and its influence on children. It’s pretty obvious social media does affect our children’s ability to develop strong, healthy, interpersonal relationships. Since a majority of American teens now have a social networking profile, just how significant is the role it plays in how they learn and develop interpersonal communication skills? While parents can certainly monitor the online profiles for content, it’s more difficult to measure and track how its influence is affecting relationship development skills on a deeper level. Many people, myself included, believe overuse of social media can inhibit the development of genuine interpersonal relationship skills. It’s not uncommon now for teens to have literally hundreds of online “friends.” And connecting to these online “friends” is far removed from the healthy development of true, intimate, interpersonal relationships. Engaging in face-to-face conversations has traditionally played a big role in everyday life.
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Through these interactions, children learn to read physical communication cues, such as voice tone and facial expressions. This adds greatly to the depth of the communication and the intimacy of the friendship. As they grow older, children need to learn and develop social and communication skills that will serve them as they emerge into young adulthood and beyond. But in communicating primarily via social media, children often lose this part of the communication. I view these social media “friendships” more as acquaintances than true friendships. So much is lost in social media communication. These types of communications are typically more general, lack the deep intimacy of true in-person friendships and are far more easily disposed of than in-person relationships. Children who engage frequently in social media connections as opposed to interpersonal relationships often lack important social skills needed to successfully navigate life situations as they get older and join the workforce. On the flip side, there are some pros related to children having social media connections. They can be great ways to stay connected with distant friends and family members, for example. And if social media is not used as the sole form of interacting with others, it does have a few benefits. Parents would be negligent to ignore the overwhelming influence of social media today. Social media is now a huge factor in communicating across multiple age groups. But as with anything else, parents must balance the time children spend across social media channels. What can you do to successfully navigate the balance for children and social media? Consider monitoring your child’s social media time. Talk openly with them about social media relationships and what they mean. Point out differences between these and face-to-face interactions. You can encourage and model healthy face-to-face interactions whenever possible. A good balance between both is best. Only you know what you’re comfortable with and what will work in your family’s unique situation. Start by educating your child on safety
About Shannon
Shannon Anderson is a licensed professional counselor and a national certified counselor and owner and clinical director of Tender Hearts Child Therapy Center in Cape Girardeau.
concerns. All of us have probably heard horror stories about people pretending to be something they’re not online. And I feel parents should strongly consider placing time limits on social media each day. A good starting point would be no more than one hour per day for most children. Also, be sure to promote one-on-one interactions whenever possible. Joining a sports team, club, church activity or any other community group provides great opportunities for you and your child to build real connections with those around you. Never underestimate the value of teaching real relationship skills with those around you versus building online connections through social media profiles. Communication skills learned through nurturing and promoting interpersonal interactions are invaluable in teaching your child to successfully navigate life. What do you think about children and social media? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I welcome any suggestions for topics in upcoming Flourish issues. Email these to shannona@ tenderheartschildtherapycenter.com.
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4/20/16 12:03 PM
parenting / age appropriate
The Five of Clubbs Get us out from under, Wonder Woman By Brooke Clubbs
Because the deadline for this column falls just a few days shy of my 40th birthday, I contemplated several different themes for it. I could talk about some life lessons I have recently learned, what I am looking forward to after the big 4-0 or how I plan to celebrate. But one event seemed to touch on all three of these themes. It’s an event I momentarily hesitated to share for lots of reasons, but we’ll start with the fact that the word “mammogram” is just funny. I felt pretty grown up as I researched whether or not my insurance plan would pay for the baseline mammogram and as I made my appointment. I’ve heard or read my share of horror stories, as well as been reassured it’s no big deal, by several credible sources, including my sister. Still, the idea of trying to make a 3-D object into a 2-D image was a little daunting. When I arrived, I filled out the paperwork, which had some questions that related to my risk factors for breast cancer, like when I had my first baby, when I had my first period and if I had any first-degree relatives who had breast cancer. My father’s aunt, Yvonne, had died from breast cancer. I knew, medically, she was a distant relative, but she was close in mind as I entered my information. My answers were confirmed and entered into the computer by the receptionist, I was given a little bracelet with my name and scan code, and I sat down to distract myself by reading a Southern Living from 2012. Somebody had torn out the recipe for King Ranch Macaroni and Cheese. I was making a mental note to look it up online when my name was called. I was led to a little locker room where I could put my purse, get undressed, wipe off my deodorant (so as not to obscure the images) and put on a little cape that snapped in the front. After another short wait, I was taken to the room with the imaging equipment. The technician who helped me was so sweet and calm. Getting a mammogram is a strange situation. I felt self-conscious about swinging back one side of the cape and awkwardly getting arranged on the equipment. These are private
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parts, reserved for love and, previously, the nourishment of my babies. On the other hand, I reminded myself that the technician positions boobies on these machines all day long. It’s like making the bed or folding the laundry. Might as well talk about the weather or my haircut. No big deal. On another hand, this is a big deal. I’m getting a diagnostic test for the most common cancer and the second-most common cause of cancer death among women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. I was running out of hands as my mind whirred. The time comes for the machine to do its thing: get “snug” and take some pictures. I’m tempted to look, but I don’t — partly because I’m afraid I will laugh at how silly my anatomy will look, pressed between plexiglass, and partly because I’m afraid I’ll move out of position and have to be rearranged. Four positions, four pictures and I’m done. That wasn’t so bad. I’m escorted to the next room, where a nurse meets me for the manual evaluation. She is incredibly informative and cheerful as she goes over risk factors with me and prepares a small pile of pamphlets and papers for me to take home. Everyone who works here is so happy and sincere! They remind me of Dottie, the mother of one of my dear friends. Dottie was always very empowered and no-nonsense about the female body. Menstrual cycles were noted on the calendar in the kitchen; breast self-exam instructions were in the shower. When Dottie was being treated for uterine cancer, my friend and her sister were tested for genetic mutations they could have inherited, putting them at risk. They both were carriers, and pragmatically, since they were already mothers, they both had hysterectomies. Even as Dottie neared death, her lessons lived on. As we go through the examination, even though I have to look at myself half-naked in a full-length mirror, I start feeling pretty fierce. We finish up and I carry my educational materials back with me to the locker room. I salute my fellow sisters in solidarity (“Hope you get good results!” one says to me. “You too!” I reply.) and get dressed. As I toss the flowered cape into the
About Brooke
Brooke Clubbs is an instructor of communication studies who literally runs around Cape Girardeau and Jackson, where she lives with her husband, three kids and two dogs. She knows this column was about her chest, but her eyes are up here. Keep up with Brooke at brookehclubbs.wordpress.com/.
linen hamper, it occurs to me that these need a different design. Red satin, I think. With the Wonder Woman logo. Maybe Super Girl? I teach my health communication students that the media has pathologized the human body. Normal functions like sweating are made to seem gross and weird. Women literally die of embarrassment rather than go to the doctor to discuss a suspected issue with their private parts. What made me decide to devote my column to my first mammogram was the last thing the nurse said to me as I left the exam room: “I recognize you from the Southeast Missourian. I really like reading what you write.” Maybe if more of us can be humorously honest about and recognize the importance of women’s health, we can move more ladies away from embarrassment and avoidance toward empowerment and prevention. Hopefully my results will be good, which means I won’t see those smiling faces at WomanCare again for a few years. So until then, thanks for everything, ladies! And Wonder Woman capes: Look into them.
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Flourish magazine is printed four times a year. All contents Š 2016 by the Southeast Missourian. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use in whole or in part of the contents, without prior written permission of the publisher, is strictly prohibited.
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