Cat44_Mag/AltPub_FlourishWinter2018

Matrilineal Tradition

Connecting our Community

Being a Ballerina

32 winter 2018 | line

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FROM THE

PHOTO BY K ASSI JACKSON

editor

I love the new perspective I gain from flying in an airplane.

Thousands of feet above the ground, I can see things like this: man-made roads and structures are straight lines, seeking the most direct routes through the land they cut through and break apart. Nature’s lines, however, are much gentler. Rivers wind and curve, light shows the dimples in the hills, the sand runs like a bent arm along the coastlines. Nature is much more interested in meandering.

As we make our journeys, civilization seems to be interested in the destination; we are obsessed with having enough time and what might not happen if we don’t. The natural world, however, gets a longer lifespan and can witness: maybe, instead, it’s about process, about being made and remade, over and over again, recycled, anew.

In this issue of flourish, we examine line. “From Grandma to Granddaughter to Great-Great Granddaughter” celebrates matrilineality, the sacredness of passing an artifact from woman to woman throughout a family. In “Beauty of the Line,” ballerina Emilia Schempp discusses how she experiences line through ballet. “The Lines We Draw” explores how we might dare to cross over imaginary lines we often use to divide ourselves, in order to create a more connected community. Our aim is that

these stories give you fresh insight into the lines that are a part of each of our journeys and that we become better because of it.

This holiday season, I hope you are renewed by family and friends, by joy, by compassion. I hope you see the world through gratitude, wonder and awe. I hope there is a moment that takes your breath away, that speaks directly to your unique heart, that helps you feel once again the value in the courage it takes to hope. I hope you are fulfilled by faith in time and where you are at this exact point in your life, and that you give yourself the gift of grace to revel in all the contradictions and simple miracles that make up who you are.

I hope you see all of the straight and curved paths of your life as gift, and feel blessed.

Joy, Mia We are always looking for writers, photographers, models and artists to join us in the creation of flourish. If you are interested in contributing to our magazine, email me at mpohlman@rustmedia.com. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

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STAFF

editorial MIA POHLMAN

DONNA DENSON

RUSTMEDIA

Editor

Advertising Director

Design

issue 32 ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER

Gera LeGrand ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Logan Clippard, Elizabeth Gooch, Laura Hulcy, Shianne Knepper, Glenda Mayberry, Jody Seabaugh, Nicholas Smith, Paul Walker WRITERS

Mia Pohlman, Amanda Flinn, Carly Phillips, Jamie Phillips PHOTOGRAPHER

Kassi Jackson

REACH US

flourish magazine 301 Broadway, PO Box 699, Cape Girardeau, MO 63702 semissourian.com/flourish | facebook.com/flourishwomen ADVERTISING OPPORTU8NITIES

800-879-1210 | 573-335-6611 STORY + PHOTO SUBMISSIONS

mpohlman@rustmedia.com ISSUE 32 / PUBLISHED WINTER 2018 flourish magazine is printed four times a year.

All contents © rustmedia + Southeast Missourian

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line

I S S UE

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Maybe you learned it in elementary art class: horizontal lines show rest, remind us gravity holds us to the ground. Vertical lines demonstrate grandeur, reaching beyond our self towards something bigger. Oblique lines display motion, slanting as something falls or makes moves.

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Lines are everywhere, if we pay attention.

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Strings of little lights, garland across a tree, ribbons around packages. Poetry and music.

Curvy, dashed, jagged, straight.

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We line our lips, we fly on airlines, we wait in line. We catch fish with fishing line, we see birds sit on telephone lines, we say pickup lines. They let us see the horizon and how tall we’ve grown. They are a reference point for a form’s path through space and time.

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Lines can be used to divide us; they can also be used to connect.

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In this issue, we examine line.

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Photography by Tam Wai

Photograph by Dan Deaner

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COVER PHOTO Anna Palmer at Hidden K Ranch near Pocahontas, Missouri.

Photography by Kassi Jackson

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From Grandma to Granddaughter to Great-GreatGranddaughter Let’s hear it for matrilineality.

BY AMANDA FLINN

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I

“It’s just an old teacup,” says Glenda Heiden of Jackson, Missouri, as she describes the delicate cup and saucer that has been passed down to her from her granny. “It has cracks in it. It’s not much to see.”

And she’s right. To someone outside her family, this teacup would not be a special keepsake. It could have easily ended up in a yard sale or at Goodwill and purchased by someone who did not know the significance of it or the memories it holds.

But to Heiden, this teacup reminds her of a granny she loved. It’s a teacup that has been in the family since 1916, when it was gifted to her granny at three years old. A granny who lived to be 100 years old and kept that treasured teacup in a hope chest until the day she passed it to her oldest granddaughter. A granddaughter who will one day pass the teacup to her oldest granddaughter, Taylor Laws.

Laws, at 20 years old, already understands the significance of this gesture.

“It’s important to keep the legacy alive,” she says. “But now I’m also feeling a lot of pressure to have children,” she laughs, realizing that eventually this keepsake would be passed down to her oldest granddaughter, a long, long

way down the road.

In the meantime, Laws has her own way of honoring family members. In the last two years, she has acquired eight tattoos, five of which meaningfully represent family members, and one she shares with both her mom and her aunt, in memory of her grandfather.

The tattoo simply says “LYTTEOTN,” which stands for “love you to the end of the numbers,” a phrase her grandfather used often with his loved ones. He passed away in 2006, when Taylor was just eight years old, but his legacy lives on.

And that’s what really matters.

A keepsake, an heirloom or a family recipe can continue for hundreds of years, but it’s the memory of the person associated with it that places value in that item. It’s talking about them, sharing stories and looking through old photographs that keeps their spirit alive in our hearts and our home.

Some have tea cups and some have tattoos, but it’s our time together that matters. When we no longer have that, we have memories. And if we are lucky, those memories will be passed down the line, leaving a legacy for future generations.

The teacup passed down to Glenda Heiden of Jackson, Missouri, from her grandma.

Photography by Kassi Jackson

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BY MIA POHLMAN

WRITING ON THE FIRST PAGE OF A NEW NOTEBOOK

It’s kind of like cleaning, or making a friend, or curling your hair: you have to start somewhere. So grab a pen in a color that makes you happy and pick a word, any word, or a thought, any thought.

Touch your pen to the paper. Let it rest there a moment, like that time when you were eight and stood at the edge of the diving board, so high above all that water. You thought about if something went wrong. You thought about if you slipped and hit your head on the wall. You thought about if you would fall.

Instead, you jumped. And the water caught you. And because the water was deep, your body did what it was supposed to do. It rose back up to the surface for you.

So there in your notebook, draw the first line. Move your wrist across the divide, feel the smooth of the paper on the side of your palm that has held many things, but not yet all. Make another mark; watch your creation of the curve of the ink’s lines, as your hand gives form, as your thoughts are born.

It is okay if you do not quite get it right on the first page. It is a new notebook.

After this piece of paper, there are many more.

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The Lines We Draw

H O W D O T H E S I M U LTA N E O U S LY A R T I F I C I A L A N D R E A L L I N E S O F RACE AND POLITICS AFFECT US, AND HOW ARE WOMEN IN OUR COMMUNITY STEPPING OVER THEM TO UNITE?

WORDS BY MIA POHLMAN

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PHOTOGRAPHY BY KASSI JACKSON

The first time I heard the term “white studies,” I was in my first year of graduate school. Eighteen years of kindergarten through college education, and although I had been taught about Native Americans in fifth grade, taken more international literature classes than American ones in college and minored in African/African American studies during undergrad, somehow studying my own whiteness had never been suggested to me. In high school we’d studied world history — which we might as well call European history — and in college I’d become well-versed in postcolonial studies, but still, these fields studied the actions of people who were white, not necessarily questioning what whiteness itself meant. While people who were white were often the major players in the version of history the books taught, the concept of whiteness had primarily gone unnoticed, while the color of people who were not white was often a primary focus.

Whiteness was accepted as the default or “norm,” and therefore allowed to go unquestioned. Yet, here was a field calling us to examine it.

The field emerged as early as 1890 with W. E. B. DuBois’ writings and gained momentum throughout the 20th century, becoming more prominent in the 1990s. It was brought on by a growing consciousness that whiteness, too, has its own distinct culture that should not be seen as normative, but rather can and should be critically studied.

I was elated. Finally, I could claim culture that might be distinct, community I often saw present and admired in many black and African cultures, groups of people with fields of study dedicated to them, a bond I often felt lacking within the field-less and therefore perhaps culture-less land of whiteness.

I was also convicted. Taking a look at what it means to be white might not always be pretty, I knew, and might cause me to have to make changes in my thinking, assumptions, habits.

Either way, it felt like something important to do.

Connecting in real life Highway 74 runs through Cape Girardeau, physically dividing part of the Cape Girardeau community from the other. It’s a line many might take for granted as a roadway of convenience, but for Koreena Woodson, co-chairwoman of Authentic Voices, the affects of this line are prominent.

“After William Street, what real store do you have?” Woodson asks. “Everyone has to come out of South Cape. So even if it’s out of South Cape to go to Family Dollar, you can’t go to Walmart. That would be a long walk. … South Cape is divided by 74, and then you don’t have anything but gas stations, liquor stores, smoke shops. And those are three of the worst things to have, and that’s your choice once you go over 74. Even to get to a laundry mat, the closest laundry mat is on William Street. So if you’re in deep South Cape, you have to find a way all the way over there just to wash your clothes. So that divide was major for the people of that neighborhood, even if they didn’t see it for themselves. That’s them figuring out a ride, that’s them trying to come up with gas money, that’s them going a little bit further. It kind of divided everything.”

It’s something Woodson is working to bring back together through Authentic Voices, an organization that seeks to connect impoverished areas of the city. Her goal is to unite people, through bringing pride to her neighborhood and changing the way all members of the community perceive it.

“There’s always a difference, even when people speak about Cape, there’s Cape and South Cape,” Woodson says of why she saw a need for an organization like Authentic Voices. “We just wanted to connect the two so that it’s a whole, and try to help people connect with those that can help them improve their lives.”

The grassroots organization’s focus is on creating opportunities for families and neighbors to interact in person, rather than from behind technological screens. They have erected two Little Free Libraries, one by St. Mary’s School and one behind the Community Caring

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Council, to encourage people to talk with their neighbors, face-to-face.

They have plans for a multicultural and Juneteenth festival, which celebrates the abolition of slavery in the U.S. Authentic Voices is also working for the beautification of South Cape, lobbying for something as simple as flowers or lights or a trash can around the walking bridge that crosses over Route 74. Woodson hopes community members from all areas of Cape Girardeau will be a part of this, through volunteering their gardening skills or attending events in South Cape, or even offering a smile, hug or extra food.

Stepping outside our technological screens and comfort zones fosters empathy. This, Woodson believes, is what creates strong communities.

“Everybody usually has different struggles. Whether you’re rich or poor or in-between. Everybody has a struggle,” Woodson says. “Sometimes people just don’t have the support they need to make it through these things. And I think when you’re poor or you live in a poorer neighborhood and you don’t have access to all of the resources to educate yourself, you’re not going to be self-sufficient. You’re not going to know what to do. … So I think it’s important to empathize with our community members to say, ‘Hey, let’s try to help you get self-sufficient.’

Because if you help somebody get selfsufficient, they’re going to become connected to the community, they’re going to want to see the community thrive, they’re going to want to really be a part of that community, and that’s what’s going to make Cape the best Cape that we have.”

There is no scientific basis for race.

That’s what scientists are discovering. Instead, race is a socially constructed phenomenon, historically used to justify unjust power structures. Skin color is a continuum, not compartmentalized categories; there is often more variance within “black” and “white” and “brown” than there is

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between each category.

The reason different shades of skin occur has to do with humans’ migration history and the way different groups adapted to sun exposure in the parts of the world where they settled, writes Elizabeth Kolbert in “Skin Deep,” featured in the April 2018 issue of National Geographic. All of our ancestors originate from Africa.

Fossils found in Morocco studied by scientists show that “anatomically modern human features began appearing as long as 300,000 years ago.” People remained in Africa for approximately the next 200,000 years, migrating within the continent and forming new populations.

Humans didn’t leave Africa until 60,000 years ago, reaching Australia 50,000 years ago, Siberia 45,000 years ago and South America 15,000 years ago, according to Kolbert. Since the longer a group is separated from another group means more differences in genetics through adaptation to their distinct environment, Kolbert writes: “The deepest splits in the human family aren’t between what are usually thought of as different races — whites, say, or blacks or Asians or Native Americans. They’re between African populations such as the KhoiSan and the Pygmies, who spent tens of thousands of years separated from one another even before humans left Africa.”

So if the differences in race aren’t as real as we think they are, why do we see different shades of skin tones?

It’s because of the way people adapted to sun exposure, Kolbert writes. “Dark skin is favored in the tropics because it shields tissue from dangerous UV rays. In regions with less sun, lighter skin allows the body to absorb enough UV rays to synthesize vitamin D, which is needed for healthy … immune systems.”

It’s not much to base division on.

And yet, it’s what past generations have made real and what we often continue to allow ourselves to use today to create an “us” and a “them.”

While our brains are biologically

Koreena Woodson, co-chairwoman of Authentic Voices

Table courtesy of Stray Fox Farms at Brick Street Gallery A

wired to identify with those who are like us because that is a useful evolutionary survival skill, they can be trained to identify with others based on any quality. That’s what New York University neuroscientist Jay Van Bavel, who studies group identity, is finding, as David Berreby writes in National Geographic’s “The Things that Divide Us.” Because of our country’s history, we have been taught to see skin color as an inherently defining characteristic.

But maybe it doesn’t have to be that way.

Robyn Walker, executive director of CENET Cultural Exchange Network

ery Antiques in Cape Girardeau.

Border Crossings I read “The Shadow Lines” by Amitav Ghosh as a junior in college.

I don’t remember the details, except that it entails two characters whose childhood experiences with crossing borders profoundly affect them as adults. The details are not as important as the fact that this novel was formative in shaping my thinking. Reading it was the first time I realized: borders between countries are only real because we say they are.

I had realized that on a certain level as a teenager, too. I had always imagined borders like the lines drawn on maps: tangible, some sort of line on the ground, separating places and marking them as distinctly different. Instead, what I found when I was 15 and walked into Mexico: there was no line. There was no fanfare. Nothing to mark my exit from one step or my entrance into the next as extraordinary or different.

It wasn’t real. The ground looked the same on both sides.

And yet, at 22, alone abroad for the first time, at border control in London with my backpack, holding my passport out as an offering to make me acceptable enough to pass, I realized borders are also real: the unsmiling woman in the bullet-proof vest asked me questions I didn’t know the answers to. She let me cross only after harshly chiding me for my naïveté, which the privilege of my white skin and middle-class American-ness had enabled me to keep for so long, always

allowing me unquestioningly into anywhere to which I asked access.

This woman showed me, briefly, what it means to be on the outside asking for entry, what it means to be suspect while innocent. She showed me: people on the inside don’t want people on the outside even potentially endangering their safety. This is why people take borders seriously. Borders are real because our fear and the necessity of small units of political organization make them so.

Robyn Walker, executive director of Cenet, recalls a moment in a Cape County classroom: an Arabic woman in the Cenet program was speaking, and a grade school student made the comment, “I was taught that I shouldn’t like you, but you seem really nice.”

It is one thing Walker has learned through her own experiences of crossing international boarders.

“People do not necessarily represent the politics,” Walker says.

As it turns out, Cape Girardeau is a hub for international education, helping young people from all over the world cross borders as they come to work in America or travel out of the United States to study abroad. The organization making this possible is called Cenet, and it was founded here as a way to promote international exchange. One of its central offices is located in the Marquette Tech District in downtown Cape; the other is in Nashville, Tennessee.

Walker herself studied abroad in Malta while a student at Southeast Missouri State University through the Magellan Exchange, later completing an internship in Italy. She went back to Malta for her post-graduate work, where she earned her teaching certification. She met her husband, who is Danish, and moved to Denmark, where she taught for a number of years. Now, the couple splits their time between Denmark and the U.S. A constant across borders, she says, is friends and family.

“That’s what it’s all about in every culture that I’ve lived in,” Walker says.

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“That’s the top priority, as it should be.

So I think people express it differently, cultures express that differently, but … everyone needs that, everyone wants that, and that’s beautiful.”

Friendship, Walker believes, is the key to overcoming fears based on cultural difference.

“You don’t have to go out of the country to experience differences,” Walker says. “We have differences right here in Cape County. And I think just to maybe spend a little more time getting to know those people who might be a different color or might be from a different socioeconomic background, because I do think there’s so much more good than not good in the world. … It really just takes one friendship. One understanding and one other person outside of your community, or outside of your world, to shift that line and break that barrier. Maybe there is nothing to really be afraid of.”

A Pause The main cause for whiteness studies is that whiteness should not be the standard “norm” everything is measured by. When we cease to see things, we no longer examine them, and they become normalized. Not examining the way our skin color allows us to walk through the world allows cultural habits and cycles that are unhealthy to perpetuate themselves.

I am not sure how we live in a society in which so many of our neighborhoods, work places, churches and friend circles are still segregated. I don’t have to say it for people to know: desegregation takes longer than the amount of time allotted for a law to go into place.

The thing is, laws themselves don’t make changes. It is people enacting those laws that make the change.

Working Together When Felice Patton’s son was murdered in the 500 block of South Frederick Street in Cape Girardeau in 2015 and no one could tell her who had

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committed the crime, she says she was in a “dark place” for months, unable to go to work or even begin to think about creating ways to address the violence happening within her neighborhood.

That was when she says she realized she was being asked to forgive.

“I had an encounter and [God] said, ‘You’ve got to forgive. You’ve got a murderer, but you’ve still got to forgive,’” Patton recalls. “So that wasn’t hard for me not to do because I am a Christian, but it wasn’t my first thought. I wanted justice. But I had to [forgive] on my journey with him, I had to forgive.”

Patton soon found out: from 2000 to 2015, there had been 16 murders in a 2.7-mile radius in Cape Girardeau.

Of those murders, more than half were unsolved.

Patton took to the streets, meeting the families of these victims and talking with people to find out why no one volunteered the information they knew about these cases. She found out that distrust of the police and fear of retaliation were the two biggest factors.

This knowledge led to the creation of Stop Needles Acts of violence Please (S.N.A.P.), aimed at opening the lines of communication between the community within this radius and the police, through implementing an anonymous tip line.

To further create healthy relationships, policemen are also present at each of S.N.A.P.’s monthly meetings, as well as at their block parties, to help give information to people and to be a friendly face. The organization has also created a resource center at 402 South Sprigg Street in Cape Girardeau, where they offer mental health and bereaved counseling and a mobile job center.

They hold prayer marches and pray for Cape Girardeau at their business each Tuesday. They have been key in getting trauma training for teachers within the local schools and advocating to close the gap in achievement between area elementary schools. They listen to the stories of people who are homeless.

They are currently in need of a lawyer

to help them become a 501c3 nonprofit organization.

“At S.N.A.P., we want to be accessible, visible, consistent and practical,” Patton says. “You’re not better than me ‘cause you’re white, and I’m not better than you ‘cause I’m black. We’re not superior and all that kind of stuff. We got to work this thing together, ‘cause it’s messing with all of us. It’s not helping either of us. It won’t help this town to grow in the 21st century. We’re behind on that part. But we want to make that change, and we know it’s not going to happen overnight, but look at all the good things that’s happening. … We want to be a kind, gentle tool to educate people and to nurture people and teach. … We do it a day at a time, a unity tea at a time, a prayer march at a time.”

Patton says she is hopeful about the Purpose Built model and what other organizations in the area are doing to work together. What it takes, she says, is unity.

“Some understanding, some peace, some love,” Patton says. “Not hate. See, ‘cause hate killed my son. But I come with love instead of hate, and I had to forgive him, and that’s love.”

A Question Does race even matter? Does talking about it lessen the divide, or only make it wider? Does compartmentalizing my experience as a white woman and yours as a black woman unite us or separate us further?

I don’t know.

Felice Patton, founder of Stop Needless Acts of violence Please (S.N.A.P. )

Remember We learned it as kids: at first, it looks like a bunch of random dots next to numbers on a page, tiny marks divided by all that blank space. You make sense of it like this: find the dot next to the number one and place your pencil there. Next, find the number two and drag the lead across the page to the dot.

Next, find the number three and draw a line from the number two dot to the number three dot.

Keep going. Soon, the picture will make sense, if you continue counting, if

you continue drawing lines to connect the dots.

Because it’s true: lines can be used to divide. But they can also be used to connect.

Final Thoughts I’m not entirely sure yet I know what it means to be white, but I am learning. I cannot speak for all people who are white, but I can speak for myself.

It does not mean pumpkin spice lattes and unintelligent catchphrases and not being able to dance (although, perhaps there is some truth in often being too self-conscious to dance.) No. It means five generations of my ancestors before me working the land and sacrificing their own comfort to build a life for their progeny — me — so I could go to college and graduate school without ever questioning its possibility. I am grateful to them. It means large family gatherings and the religion I was gifted with at birth and traditions that remind my family who we are and where we come from. It does not nullify the hard work I have put into creating my life and my belief systems, but it has helped, and has shaped my life profoundly.

In Southeast Missouri, it also means this: on a daily basis, I am not asked to question my skin color, or to think about it.

Unless I ask that of myself.

I think that is important to do, if we are all going to begin to work together.

Robyn Walker of Cenet says it like this: “I also believe in mankind. In all its imperfection,” she says. “I think the majority of people are striving to make the world a better place to be. And that’s what I think you see when you cross those lines. You see, oh my gosh, they’re just like me. They’re worried about their children, they’re worried about paying their mortgage, they’re worried about their pet that might be sick. We’re all really just worrying about the same things. And that, I think, helps to unify more than divide.”

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Beauty of the

We asked: how do you create line with your body through dance?

WORDS BY EMILIA SCHEMPP PHOTOS BY KASSI JACKSON

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line 19

Line is created within the body through the points of equilibrium. One could picture placing this point of equilibrium at the center of a coordinate plane and the limbs that are extended from this center or point of equilibrium must all balance out in force if the dancer is to remain balanced or create the essence of free fall motion. Line could also be thought of as the energy that reaches out from one end of a shape to the other. Perhaps as a dancer extends their leg out in a low first arabesque, you could picture the energy extending out through the shoulder, through the upper arm, lower arm, all the way through the wrist, hand and fingertips and beyond. This energy would extend far past the fingertips into the space in this long, linear line and even further up through the wall or ceiling, depending on the height of the arm. The energy through the back leg would do the same, extending past the hip, hamstring, through the calf, lengthened in the ankle and all the way through the toes into the space.

But this would only be thinking about the “working” limbs and ignoring the three-dimensionality of the dancer.

There is the vertical line that is created out from the top of the head and all the way through the floor directly underneath the supporting leg. One could even imagine this line of energy or stability deep into the earth.

This situation only analyzes a static position of the dancer. If the dancer was to then simply move this shape in the space, there would be lines created in the space all around the dancer. This could be imagined if the dancer’s movements could be traced on the floor or if, for instance, they held a sparkler in their hand and the trace could be saved. Since the body of the dancer cannot be disconnected, each part of the body could be traced to create one long line detailing all the space and pathways that it took.

EMILIA SCHEMPP Hometown: Normal, Illinois Studying at SEMO: Dance and physics double-major Year at SEMO: Senior, graduating Spring 2019 First began dancing: At age three, after her mom and grandma took her to a performance of the “Nutcracker;” her grandma then gave her a certificate for her first ballet lesson for Christmas.

Why she dances: “Dancing or performing is like flying; you can’t quite explain it to those who have never done it. It’s the ability to be completely myself and share something with an audience. … In that moment, the only thing I can do is live in the movement.”

Enjoys: Academics, math, physics, problem-solving, traveling (especially to Kauai and Australia), jigsaw puzzles and spending time with family Plans for post-graduation: Attend graduate school to continue integrating her interests Recommends: Watching the computer-generated technique called rotoscoping that traces the lines and geometric shapes created by a dancer while in motion: mymodernmet.com/balletdancer-rotoscope/

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Emilia Schempp is a senior at Southeast Missouri State University studying dance and physics.

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You do you.

Suggestion: Cut this page out and fold to make an origami bow for a Christmas package.

(Follow the directions found at flourishwomen.io) Or: come up with a different use for this page that sets your soul free.

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What do you want to say?

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A Little Help from Our Friends WORDS BY MIA POHLMAN PHOTOS BY KASSI JACKSON

In her poem “Have You Ever Tried to Enter the Long Black Branches?,�

American poet Mary Oliver writes of the absurdity of getting bored with life, when all around us, the world opens: water parts for us to glide through, grass bends for us to sit on, air provides space for us to walk in. She reminds us to take another look. Why not?

Here, we reconsider the ordinary moments of life as we look pretty and remind ourselves: playfulness is good for the soul.

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Anna Palmer Sweaters with skirts all day. Play with dimensions and cuts of the pieces: try a long, shapeless sweater over a long, shapeless skirt for a carefree vibe, or a short sweater whose hem just meets the waist of a long, highwaisted skirt for a more polished look. Pair with cozy tights and boots.

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Ady Lage Bowtie: Annie Laurie’s in Cape Girardeau Pair clothes and accessories in deep emerald green, amethyst purple, amber yellow and sapphire blue jewel tones for a warm, luxe winter look. The hues of the jewel palette all work well together, so mix and match them to suit your personality for the day.

Rock on.

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Ella Moll Phone: Annie Laurie’s in Cape Girardeau Couch: Adult & Teen Challenge Mid-America Thrift Store in Cape Girardeau Wind pants are back. Relive the 90s; this time around, though, rock them fitted at the ankles. Gucci’s pairing wind pants with matching windbreakers, socks and heels. We say they look daringly retro with a comfy sweatshirt and your fave pair of tube socks, too.

Either way, welcome back, 1995. We missed you.

Elsie Miller Fish and bowl: PetCo Animal Supplies in Cape Girardeau Pair statement earrings with a solid shirt to make your face the focal point of your outfit. If you have short hair, statement earrings were made for you.

If your hair is long, pull it back to show off your earrings. If wearing your hair down, choose statement earrings in a color that will pop in front of the backdrop of your hair. Raven-haired beauties, try red. Brunettes, wear off-white. Redheads, go for green. Blondes, blue.

Make that statement.

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Omotola Ojo Dogs: Humane Society of Southeast Missouri in Cape Girardeau Every good outfit contains a surprise that goes against convention. This fall and winter, have fun pairing colors that wouldn’t normally go together. Crocus petal (a light lavender/pink) and meerkat (a burnt orange) are two members of Pantone’s Fall/Winter 2018 Top 10 Color and Classic Color Palettes. Wear them with quetzal green (a deep turquoise/forest green), another of Pantone’s picks, for a mix of spring and winter. Oooh.

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meet our models

A DY Hometown: Cape Girardeau What’s your favorite animal?

I think dinosaurs. I like kitty cats because they’re my favorite. They’re cute.

Tell us something good.

Birthdays and Halloween.

ELLA Hometown: Branson, Missouri What is your spirit animal?

My hair says lion, my sleep schedule says house cat …

Tell us something good.

It’s almost Christmas. ;)

TOLA Hometown: Benin, Nigeria What is your spirit animal?

A butterfly is a symbol of transformation, change, hope and development. The peacock represents resurrection and people who are growing, transforming or reinventing themselves. I am on a journey to self-discovery, and these two animals represent my journey.

FLASH Flash is a 4-year-old long-haired rescue cat. He enjoys roaming the neighborhood, eating and sleeping in the window. You can follow him on Instagram at @capecitylion.

GILBERT FIN LEY Gilbert Finley, the Fish, is a comet goldfish from the tanks of Petco Animal Supplies in Cape Girardeau.

He sincerely enjoyed his first modeling experience at the flourish photo studio.

Okay, we don’t actually know that. But he appeared to be having a good time.

ELSIE Hometown: Cape Girardeau Where is your favorite place you’ve been, and why?

1. Home, wherever that may happen to be, and “home” has been many different locations. 2. Kenya on a safari to see beautiful wild animals in their natural habitat.

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TROUBLE Trouble is a Suri alpaca, the kind with the long, flowing locks. She is sheared each May, when she has approximately two inches of fiber regrowth. Trouble got her name when she was younger from her love of racing the other cria, or baby alpacas: her then-owner would say, “Here comes Trouble.”

BEA R A N D TIN K ERBELL ANNA

How did Bear come to the Humane Society?

Bear is a 1-year-old terrier mix who came to the Humane Society of Southeast Missouri as a baby. He found a home, but the family had major life changes, and he came back to the shelter.

Hometown: Cape Girardeau What is your spirit animal?

A panda.

What makes you happy?

My friends, family and a good book.

What does Tinkerbell enjoy?

Other dogs and playing tug of war.

Adopt Bear or Tinkerbell at the Humane Society of Southeast Missouri, 2536 Boutin Drive in Cape Girardeau. The shelter can be reached at (573) 334-5837.

BA NA NA PEPPER Banana “Pepper” is a banana ball python. He is a nonvenomous constrictor with a docile temperament who enjoys periscoping, or sitting with his head held high and watching the family and other pets run around his human’s house.

LAND YOUR

DREAM JOB. It’s waiting for you – go get it!

37

Look and Feel your BEST this Holiday Season!

Dr. Carmen Keith, M.D. Introducing the Body Contour Light!

Using LED technology, our Contour Light gives you a painless and relaxing experience that may produce results after just one session!

Please call us

to find out more information on Single Sessions or Contour Light Packages!

(573) 803-3603 3203 Blattner Dr. in Cape www.360living.today

Give the Gift of Fun One Day Only - on December 15th - all purchasers of new memberships will receive $15 off. Memberships must be purchased over the phone or at the Playhouse to receive the discount.

Discovery Playhouse offers four kinds of memberships!

$150 Family (2 adults and up to 4 children in same household)

$125 Grandparents (2 adults and up to 4 grandchildren)

$100 Just for Two $225 Family Plus (4 adults and up to 6 children)

With memberships you can enjoy an ENTIRE year filled with fun and learning through play.

I have had babies and several abdominal surgeries, but mostly I just love to eat!

I was not happy with my appearance and was especially unhappy with my big stomach. I happened to catch an advertisement about Contour Light therapy.

I gave 360 Living a call and was told there was an informational meeting that evening where I had my questions answered and left excited with an appointment scheduled.

I bought the 8-pack of sessions. I wasn’t expecting any miracles, but just hoped to reduce my stomach size. I can’t tell you how happy I am with the whole experience!

Debbi always took care of me with a smile, patience, and encouragement. There was no pain or discomfort. My size 14 slacks are too big, and I now wear a size 10!

-A satisfied 360 Living Client

Gift Certificates Available!

Discovery Playhouse 502 Broadway Cape Girardeau, MO 63701 573-335-7529 | www.discoveryplayhouse.org

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Photography by Daniel Apodace

Wing Your Eyeliner (We’ll teach you how.)

B Y C A R LY P H I L L I P S

You might not remember everything about your adolescent years, but there was probably eyeliner. That’s when it started, the desire to grow up and keep growing. You morph into a teenager, and the black pencil is ready and waiting.

The Egyptians depended on it, cool girls lived by it and 1990s emo bands rocked it. There were smoky eyes and cat eyes. There were boys and girls.

There was glitter, liquid and pencil.

It was the extra edge, and most people can remember when they applied it for the first time. That thick, colored line haphazardly drawn on an eyelid, and the impossible feat of trying to make both eyes look the same. But, just like anything else, practice makes perfect.

“When doing eyeliner, I tell people to hold a mirror under them, or if they are looking in their vanity mirror, to tilt their head backward so they can look down to line their eyes,” says Kaitlin Mingione Hutchinson, senior education consultant at Sephora inside

JCPenney in Cape Girardeau. “You want to do small strokes, rather than trying to do a harsh line from beginning to end, which is easier to mess up.

It’s kind of like connecting the dots.”

Mingione Hutchinson gives Annabelle Aubuchon, a product consultant at Sephora, a winged look as she explains different ways to make the application easier.

“When you’re doing a wing, typically I would regularly line the eye first, but what is easy for a beginner is stamping,” Mingione Hutchinson says, referring to an eyeliner technique used to perfect the wing involving connecting small, dashed lines along the eyelid rather than drawing one solid line from beginning to end. “You just follow your lid and stamp and then you follow that to your lash line, and then you extend it as far as you want.”

The type of eyeliner you go for depends on where you prefer to place the liner on your eyes, or even the look you want to exude.

“There are two main eyeliner types

to choose from, a pencil or a liquid,” says Pati Carr, beauty manager at Sephora. “Typically, when using eye liner on the top of the eye, you want to choose a liquid or pencil. While using eyeliner on the bottom of the eye and waterline, you want to stick to a pencil with either a gel or kohl formula.”

Another thing to think about adding is color.

“I feel like people think they can’t use colored liner, and they definitely can,” Mingione Hutchinson says. “You almost want to think of a color wheel.

If you have green eyes ... use a purple.

Annabelle has blue eyes, so she’d use oranges, reds or a kind of pink.”

“A woman with brown eyes came in and she had olive eyeliner on,” Aubuchon adds. “It was so beautiful.”

The application of eyeliner is not something you “get” over night.

Learning a few tips and tricks, becoming familiar with your own eye shape and asking an expert for help are a few things you can do to get started.

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Take a Walk With Show Me Center Marketing Director Abbie Lady

By Jamie Phillips Photographs by Kassi Jackson

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A At flourish, we create conversations that bring people together. Conversations that teach us things about other women.

Conversations that give us insight into what drives them to get up and do what they do. In this issue of flourish, we chat with woman-on-the-move Abbie Lady, the current marketing director and past events supervisor for the Show Me Center. She’s the person working behind the scenes to make sure your “I Love the 90s concert” or your kid’s PJ Masks show goes off without a hitch and the industry up-and-comer who was named a member of the International Association of Venue Managers 30 under 30 class in 2015.

Join us as we take a five-minute walk with Abbie.

The theme for this issue of flourish is “line.” For most people, the line from college to career is very rarely a straight one. For most of us, it resembles a wave that ebbs and flows until hopefully, we arrive where we are meant to be. Tell us a little bit about the path you took to where you are today.

In 2004, my freshman year of college, my parents told me I needed to get a job, so I applied at the Show Me Center as an usher/ticket taker and loved it. I worked as much as I could, even coming in during breaks as needed. I continued doing that through my sophomore and junior years. Then my senior year, I got an internship in event supervision, even though my major was marketing, which led to staying on after college as the head ticket taker/usher/front-of-house person.

Then the head of the Show Me Center, David Ross, began to notice me and offered me a post-college job of administrative assistant and later the interim events supervisor. In 2008, I was officially named the event supervisor — the first female to hold the position — which I did for eight years until 2017, when I was named the marketing director.

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Event supervisor to marketing. Tell us a little bit about that jump.

When I did the Show Me Center internship, I thought “Oh man, this is fun.

Maybe I could be Shannon [Burford, the then-marketing director at the Show Me Center] one day.” I had always been determined to work in my major, so when the marketing position opened up, I applied for the job. The Show Me Center is a smaller venue, so I still work events including nights, holidays, weekends — whatever is needed.

In 2015, you were named a member of the International Association of Venue Managers (IAVM) 30 under 30 inaugural class. How did that nomination and selection occur?

The program was designed to recognize young talent in venue management.

I was nominated for it by David Ross, who was the general manager of the Show Me Center at the time. I went through a pretty elaborate selection process, including a video component with which I was lucky enough to have help from a student in the mass media department in producing. I submitted everything, and in the end, I was selected.

You also have held several leadership roles within the IAVM, correct? Tell us a little bit about those.

I currently serve as the Region III director and am on the Board of Directors. I’ll officially turn over my director gavel in July.

One name you’ve mentioned several times as we talked is David Ross. Is he someone you consider a mentor?

I didn’t realize when I first started how much of an impact he was going to make.

When I first got named to the event supervisor position in an interim capacity, David signed me up to attend the Public Assembly of Facility Managers School through the IAVM. When I pointed out that I technically was still a

Abbie Lady, marketing director at the Show Me Center in Cape Girardeau.

When the event starts, you have this tiny moment to stand to the side and see everyone enjoy the event, and you realize you had something to do with this.

probationary hire, he said it didn’t matter. He said he “knew I was going to make it, and he would make sure I made it.” At the time, I wasn’t sure exactly what I had gotten myself into, but he thought I was going to be great, so … he helped me so much in learning the industry and meeting people. He was actually a past Region III director and chair of the IAVM, so a lot of my involvement came from his involvement. He just gave great advice. He was hard on me, and expected a lot of me because he saw what I could do.

You’ve been a part of a lot of shows over the years.

What is your favorite part of the process?

When the event starts, you have this tiny moment to stand to the side and see everyone enjoy the event, and you realize you had something to do with this.

Children’s shows are the best. To see just pure joy radiating from the kids is a great feeling.

Final question. What is your dream job?

To be the general manager of a building, any building. Position trumps location. However, if Dr. Pepper ever starts to run a venue, I want to go there!

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Your Elegant Affair Begins Here

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Come Chill and Support Our Schools

Saturday, February 9, 2019 at 6 pm Drury Plaza Conference Center Call 573-651-0555 to reserve your table now

foundation@capetigers.com www.capeschools.org LIVING WELL PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY & SPIRITUALLY IN SOUTHEAST MISSOURI

C City of

Miner

Convention Center To advertise call 800-879-1210 or 573-335-6611

2610 E. Malone Ave. Miner, MO 63801 573-471-8520 www.cityofminer.com

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Transform your Event from Ordinary to Extraordinary For All your Special Occasion Rental Needs!

Complete Line of Wedding Accessories Theme Parties Elegant to Rustic Receptions Carnival Supplies and Equipment 1914 Independence Cape Girardeau 332-7186

Join us for: Dec. 1,

Hiking: Hickory Canyons* 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Dec. 1, Nature Art: Nature’s Decor* 9 a.m., 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 3 p.m.

Dec. 14, Discover Nature: Candlelit Wood Walk 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Dec. 15, Nature Art: Holiday Crafts 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.

*Register online at mdc.mo.gov/events Located in Cape County Park North Open Tuesday to Saturday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Call (573) 290-5218 to register for programs. ® mdc.mo.gov/CapeNatureCenter Serving nature and you

29 North Main Street, Cape Girardeau, MO 63701 573-335-5681 • zickfieldsjewelry.com

The M-Kredible Christmas Extravaganza December 1&2 The M-Kredible Featuring: Christmas Extravaganza Santa and his Elves

www.mkaysupply.com

6626 State Hwy 77, Benton, MO 63736

573-545-4455

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Now Offering Interior Design Services!

Introducing: Michaelyn Ross

Design Specialist at Ross Furniture and Bedding, Michaelyn Ross received her BA in Interior Design at Southeast Missouri State. She previously was the owner of Bloom in Cape Girardeau. Stop at Ross Furniture and Bedding today for more details!

2310 E Jackson Blvd • 573-243-3108 • www.shoprossfurniture.com

City Centre 2502 Tanner Dr., Suite 101 Cape Girardeau, MO

(573) 334-4747

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(573) 335-6033

www.belladonasalons.com 45

H E Y, C O N T R I B U T O R S :

Tell us something brave you’ve done.

I moved away from my hometown, but I also came back. I think there is bravery in both.

Carly Phillips

My whole year has been full of small, brave acts.

Every time I step out in faith, leave my comfort zone and go scared — that is brave. Brave isn’t just one event. It’s a lifetime of becoming.

Amanda Flinn

Whitewater rafting on the Ocoee River during a girls’ trip to Georgia. I decided to be the first person in the raft and had absolutely no experience. I loved every minute of it!

Jamie Phillips

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The first thing that comes to mind is moving halfway across the country after graduation to start my career full-time as a storyteller. Sacrifice takes a lot of bravery, but it’s one of the most empowering kinds.

Kassi Jackson

When the unforeseen happens…

We make it right! #

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things we love WISHCAPE

WishCape at 213 South Broadview beside Trees n Trends in Cape Girardeau is the place to go for brands of fashion unique to our area, from trendy boho styles to classics like Pendleton. With a variety of styles and price ranges, this is the place for generational shopping. Many brands are cause-driven; Able is a favorite, featuring jewelry, shoes, clothing and gorgeous handbags, and focused on ending generational poverty by working with women who have often overcome extraordinary circumstances. Remember to ask us about “Shop for a Cause” private events.

VINES 2 WINES Vines 2 Wines excursions are the answer for a unique alternative to a traditional holiday party, office party, bachelorette party, outing with friends or even transportation to an event!

Whether you are looking for an exclusive group experience or want to be part of several planned excursions through the year, Vines 2 Wines offers a fun experience like no other. We also offer gift certificates to give to that special someone.

Visit vines2wines.net or call (573) 579-9009 to book your trip today. Don’t forget to like and follow us on Facebook!

BLOOM STUDIO & GIFTS A Very Merry Mingle • Saturday, Dec. 8, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Location: the room. Hair Design Studio, Bloom Studio & Gifts, and Sweet Designs Boutique Go to three wonderful locations downtown where you can make your own festive cloved orange, paint a custom-designed ornament and get in the holiday spirit in our Christmas photo booth, all while enjoying local eats and drinks along the way. Tickets: $8 in advance / $10 day of event. Available at the participating locations or at bloomstudioandgifts.com

BELL ADONA SALON & SPA Hydrate the hands you love all winter long with our Aveda ultra-rich cremes in comforting, calming and invigorating aromas! These three travel-size hand cremes deeply moisturize dry hands, leaving them noticeably softer and smoother.

Andiroba oil and other plant hydrators protect skin’s moisture barrier, helping seal in softness with limited-edition comforting aromas. Stop by Belladona Salon & Spa to give the gift of beauty this holiday season. All seasonal aromas are 20 percent off for the holidays!

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If Candy and Nuts were Ribs and Butts We’d All Have a

Please be a snow angel and Provide Food For our Kids!

GET Two $25 PorT CaPE GIFT CarDS a $50 ValuE

Now For oNly $39.95 Visit us for Breakfast, lunch or Dinner on Small Business Saturday, November 24, 2018 19 North Water Street, Cape Girardeau, MO 63701

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Endless Summer Tan Keep your PERFECT GLOW through the Holidays!

• 2 Mystic Spray Tan Booths • 6 Levels of Tanning • Leg Tanner

The Cape Girardeau Schools Foundation is raising funds for the Grab & Go Snack and a snow day food program.

We will be providing healthy snacks for the students. This helps students who may not otherwise eat a nutritious meal that day.

The annual cost per student is approximately $320. But this program has a massive price tag. This year alone, the cost will be approximately $45,000.

When you sit down to dinner tonight, take a moment to reflect on how fortunate you are and of all the problems of the day, providing a meal for your family was not among them. In that spirit, could you please spare a few dollars to help another child in our district not go to bed hungry.

Remember, A Strong School benefits a Strong Community.

Please send your tax deductible 501(c) (3) donation to: Amy McDonald Executive Director 301 N. Clark, Cape Girardeau at 573-651-0555 • foundation@capetigers.com A thank you and tax receipt will be provided.

Please send your tax deductible 501c3 donations to:

Director/Backpack program Cape Girardeau Public Schools Foundation 301 N. Clark St., Cape Girardeau, MO 63701

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Valentine for Ernest Mann NAOMI SHIHAB NYE

You can’t order a poem like you order a taco.

Walk up to the counter, say, “I’ll take two” and expect it to be handed back to you on a shiny plate.

Still, I like your spirit.

Anyone who says, “Here’s my address, write me a poem,” deserves something in reply.

So I’ll tell a secret instead: poems hide. In the bottoms of our shoes, they are sleeping. They are the shadows drifting across our ceilings the moment before we wake up. What we have to do is live in a way that lets us find them.

Once I knew a man who gave his wife two skunks for a valentine.

He couldn’t understand why she was crying.

“I thought they had such beautiful eyes.”

And he was serious. He was a serious man who lived in a serious way. Nothing was ugly just because the world said so. He really liked those skunks. So, he re-invented them as valentines and they became beautiful.

At least, to him. And the poems that had been hiding in the eyes of skunks for centuries crawled out and curled up at his feet.

Maybe if we re-invent whatever our lives give us we find poems. Check your garage, the odd sock in your drawer, the person you almost like, but not quite.

And let me know.

From poets.org. Poem from Red Suitcase by Naomi Shihab Nye. Copyright 1994 Naomi Shihab Nye.

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See us for ANSWERS to questions you don’t want to ask

Because you have better things to talk about over

Gregg S. Hallman, MD, FACS James E. Outman, DO, FACS Vincenzo Galati, DO, FACS Mitchell L. Ogles, MD, FACS Tyler D. Haden, MD

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