2022 Missouri Better Newspaper Contest/CAT44 Spring Flourish

The Next Voices

On Anger

Forest Bathing

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Photo by Aaron Eisenhauer at Magnolia Market in Cape Girardeau

FROM THE

“I want an adult to tell me it’s hard to be a teenager.”

My friend Erin, an incredible young person, said this to me over the summer. One of her teachers had told her class they should enjoy their time now as teens before they become adults, because it’s the easiest life will ever be. Knowing what she and her peers are up against each day and wondering if this is supposed to be the pinnacle of their lives, she felt worried there was no hope for her future.

Looking at the facts: teens’ brain development is literally fighting against the physical changes they’re undergoing. This, paired with the truth that they are experiencing everything for the first time without previous experiences of their own to compare it to as they make decisions. It’s a beautiful time: everything is new.

It’s an awful time: everything is new. Most days, they really want to get it right and are trying to. It’s hard to be a teenager.

I think every stage of life has its own difficulties, because in each, we are confronted with experiences we haven’t yet undergone, circumstances we don’t yet know how to create with. With each stage, we build upon what we already know, expanding our repertoire of prior knowledge. All of it leads us to the cusp, the transition to the next thing.

In Gothic architecture, “cusp” is the point at which two small arcs come together. In mathematics, it’s the place where the direction of a curve is abruptly reversed. In life, it’s a turning point, a movement, a transition. The ends of a crescent moon. They’re moments big and small, often hard-won. We work for them.

They shape our lives.

And so, in this issue, we celebrate being on the cusp, the moment of action or change.

We learn about Here., a new literary magazine in which Southeast Missouri high school students publish their writing and artwork, and Central Academy Press, a new newspaper by students that shares the stories of their peers. We think about anger, that emotion that can so effectively lead us to action, how it is portrayed in literature and how we can channel it when we experience it in our lives.

And through our photo shoot, we meet women who tell us about a time in their lives when they were in transition. We hope these ideas help us live the action when it is time.

I am thinking being on the cusp is a little bit like being off the cuff — no preparation except all the days you’ve lived up to this point. It’s the moment when you realize that is enough, those days and all they’ve brought you, those days and all you’ve done with them packaged in a parcel delivered up to you on your doorstep, all of the sudden one day when you forgot to wonder when it was coming, after all those days you checked the door stoop during its transit to find nothing.

Suddenly, after all that time. Ding dong. Mail’s here. Pull back the tape — you know what to do with it.

Unpack. Use the pieces of your life to build, to create, to take the step into what is for you.

Everything has conspired to prepare you for this moment.

Joy, Mia 3

I S S U E 41

EDITOR

WRITING

REACH US

Mia Pohlman

Trinitee Johnson Mia Timlin Mia Pohlman Sydnie Edwards Janet Wigfall Anchal Dimri Amanda Flinn Jamie Phillips

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Cusp the in-between the liminal space right before you take, a step right before you, jump approaching, approaching, can feel momentum growing, potential trying to turn kinetic, static to movement, drawing in, magnetic want to, have to, try to, trying to ready, ready, ready, not, ready, no thing ever works right before you realize — You’re on it.

The cusp.

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The Next Voices

These students are changing the world.

Great art tells us something about truth, goodness and beauty. These transcendentals enrich life, encourage love, heal division; they reconcile, question, help us see from multiple perspectives. It is important to raise up young people from our region who will engage in this important work. Because if they don’t, who will tell our story?

Here, we meet students who are stepping into this call through participating in the creation of two new local publications: Here. Literary Magazine and Central Academy Press.

These publications are a place for high school students to cultivate their passion for storytelling and gain practical experience in the publishing world. May these young people continue making art and placing words side by side, pressing ever deeper into their questions to remind each of us: what you have to say matters.

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Central Academy Press

BY TRINITEE “TEETEE” JOHNSON

“You get to write about things that matter to you.”

Ms. DeWitt said this phrase on day one in journalism when I first joined the Central Academy Press staff. My first thought was, “Oh, wow,” and I was not sure where to even start. Society does not always want young people to speak up, and if we do, they are not always listening to what we have to say.

The more I write, the more empowered and confident I feel about myself and what I have to say. Now, I feel as if I can express myself more through writing, get my point across to people, and that they will listen. The freedom to choose what I want to write about is helping me realize I also get to choose what it is I care about. When you realize what it is you really care about, you start on the journey to sparking change.

Central Academy Press, or CAP for short, was established in August 2020 as Central Academy’s (CA) first student-run publication and as part of the CA’s first journalism course. Central Academy is the alternative education center for Cape Public Schools that provides students with a smaller, focused learning environment that welcomes student-led learning. Central Academy Press is a strong representation of what CA has to offer, a platform that welcomes student creativity and expression.

As part of the Central Academy Press staff, the student journalism team has a variety of responsibilities, including writing articles, photojournalism, editing, interviewing, managing social media — they pretty much do it all. There are nine students who range in age from sophomores to seniors on the team. Students meet every school day for an hour and control the content and tone of the publication, which allows their voice to be heard in an authentic way.

“Journalism is teaching me unity within one another — the class could come up with great ideas, and we will all put them to use,” says DaShonta Sterling, senior journalist.

“We are like one big family that works hard together and tries to push the next to do their best.”

With all the madness going on in the world, it is important now more than ever for the upcoming generation of difference makers to voice their opinions and be taken seriously. Learning to embrace one’s voice and be critical consumers of information are key skills cultivated through firsthand experience in the classroom. Central Academy Press hopes to spark important conversations and get students interested in voicing their own opinions, updating readers on what’s going on. Writing from a student’s perspective is important to the student journalists involved because everyone deserves to have their opinion heard, and students often feel hushed. CAP puts those voices front and center.

The opportunity to be a journalist at Central Academy is important to the students of CA because the younger generation of students looks up to the older students and sees this as an opportunity to be someone who is outspoken and making a difference. Being a positive influence is possible, despite the stigma of attending an alternative school. When the students of CA see the student journalists doing things that matter and making stuff happen at our age, they think maybe they could do the same. The students here at CA who are part of Central Academy Press really love what they do. It is a way for them to get important information out to parents, students and the community, and to inspire others to speak up and get involved.

“It is important to learn what other people your age have to say,” says Kayla Rodgers, a sophomore at Central Academy and reader of the Central Academy Press. “It can provide a new perspective and start a conversation when your ideas connect. I like to read about what my classmates care about.”

Journalism programs help shape the

next generation of voices by embracing and using technology and social media to spark change. Central Academy Press is starting off their social media presence through Instagram, @centralacademypress. Students chose this outlet because it is image-driven and a generally positive platform. While using social media, it is important to listen to multiple voices because it’s good to hear different opinions from a different perspective of the youth; presenting information in a truthful way that allows multiple voices to be heard can work to unite our society. The current youth generation, including the CAP student journalists, should and is leading this charge.

The teachers and administrators at CA are supportive of students finding new ways to step up and take the lead.

“My students are expressive and full of personality. It is important that they develop a way to confidently articulate their feelings and passions,” says Bri DeWitt, Central Academy English teacher. “They can make a true impact on those around them — they just need the tools to develop their voice. A journalism class and digital newspaper give them a safe and supportive platform to grow.”

I am part of the future of this world, and my opinions matter. This program is shaping the next generation of voices — including my own — who will write the stories of our society: how we feel about what’s going on in the world, how we look at certain situations and how we would handle those situations.

The sooner my peers and I strive to make a difference, the more impact we can have on society and those around us. My generation only needs a platform, and journalism helps sculpt my words in a way that makes others want to listen.

Trinitee “TeeTee” Johnson is a sophomore at Central Academy and a member of the Central Academy Press staff.

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“I saw unity within the first group of Central Academy Press journalists — everyone was sticking together, helping each other out with stories and just trying to do good things. The journalism group is like a family.

Everyone is just there to do what they love, which is to write stories and come up with fun ideas for things around the school.”

“I applied for the Here. editorial board because my English teacher suggested I should, and I was so excited at the prospect of getting to meet people who all shared similar interests and talents as me. I want to be a writer because I’m good at it, and I’ve always loved expressing my feelings with pen and paper. I also love writing about the world around me so that others can see from my perspective.”

“Being a part of the Central Academy Press journalism team has taught me and continues to teach me that writing is a positive way to express myself.”

DaShonta Sterling Senior at Central Academy

Greta Ripperda Senior at Notre Dame Regional High School

Mason Cookson Senior at Central Academy

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“As soon as my teacher spoke to me about the Here. editorial board, I knew it was something right up my alley. I wanted to strengthen my writing abilities and learn more about the industry before I decide to base my entire career around it. I have learned so many valuable things. I come home from every meeting with pages and pages of notes.”

“Journalism is helping me to read, write and communicate better. It allows me the opportunity to explore different technologies, local foods for reviews and to write for myself about topics I care about.”

“One of the most valuable things I have learned with the Here. Magazine is the vast amounts of careers you can have with writing and the many resources available. I never was sure what I wanted to do with writing, but I always knew I wanted to write. Now, with the opportunity of Here. Magazine, I have been introduced to many different writing paths I can go down, helping me further understand what direction I want to take my compositions in.”

Maddox Murphy Senior at Saxony Lutheran High School

DeAndre Baylis Sophomore at Central Academy

Rebecca Baugh Junior at Jackson Senior High School 11

Here. Literary Magazine

BY MIA TIMLIN

As the screaming voices of screens, social media and technology get louder and louder, it’s becoming more important teenagers find those carved-away spaces where imaginative development takes place. When it comes to teenagers, more often than not, productivity just for the purpose of creating is widely disregarded. The message that it’s not only okay, but also necessary to put effort and time into something that might not result in payment, grades, recognition or some kind of tangible reward is one that is blatantly absent in some of the most formative environments. An end goal of adding something beautiful, meaningful or enjoyable to one’s life no longer appears to be enough incentive for many teenagers to discover and grow the artistic skills they possess. Without the encouragement and leadership of established and accomplished artists, writers and creators of a community, what will ensure these incredibly important, yet often overlooked, forms of storytelling, informing and expression will not wither when passed along to a new generation?

The Here. Literary Magazine, a rustmedia project, exists to show teens their art is as relevant as ever, and their voices are severely needed. It is a resource ready to give teenagers the chance to put their voices out into their community and share

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the things they’ve been thinking, making and feeling. Surroundings play a huge role in the work of artists — Here. Literary Magazine is a chance for students to show how the place they grew up shaped and influenced them.

“This area of Missouri definitely impacted how I wrote my poem just because it’s where we live,” says Adeline Haupt, a junior at Saxony Lutheran High School who submitted a poem she wrote to be considered for publication in Here.

“I feel that if I didn’t live where I live, I may not have worded the poem like I did. My sister and I love to go hiking and ended up talking about the old trees that are in the woods, particularly an old walnut tree that has been there as long as we can remember. We just thought of what the trees would tell us if they could.”

While publishing the art and writing of local high school students, Here.

Literary Magazine also presents a group of teenage applicants the opportunity to explore turning passion for an art form into a career through its Writing and Art Student Editorial Boards. By attending a series of monthly workshops, the members of the Here. editorial boards learn about the editorial process, analyze and critique student writing and art submissions, and glean instruction from workshop leaders who are working

artists and writers in the Cape Girardeau community. The professional artists leading the workshops offer exercises meant to strengthen creative skills as well as insights into the career options open to students wanting to enter into the professional fields that utilize these skills.

“I think it’s always a good opportunity for the community to hear from our teens who are living and working here,” says Dr. Tamara Zellars Buck, professor of multimedia journalism at Southeast Missouri State University and member of the Here. Professional Advisory Board who led a journalism workshop for the Here. students in January. “Here. is going to give our students that community voice that they’ve been missing, and I am excited to see how their ideas are received. I think that it’s important that we teach them how to express themselves fully and responsibly.”

One of the most valuable contributions the Here. magazine and editorial boards offer is the connection they draw between members. To meet with and learn from peers with a common interest is an invaluable experience and an incredible opportunity for growth for young people considering a future working in a writing or art-related field. These meetings bring students who have a shared passion for telling stories and spreading messages

through their creations together and foster an experience of learning from one another’s ideas, insights and opinions that is difficult to find or replicate in other programs and activities.

Members of the boards meet each month to evaluate submissions from local teenage artists who want their work in the literary magazine, decide what will be published, and put their writing and art into practice. The 2020-2021 student editorial boards include 16 students in grades 8-12 from Charleston High School, Cape Central High School, Notre Dame Regional High School, Saxony Lutheran High School, Jackson High School and Oak Ridge High School. Bringing together the differences and similarities of the smaller communities scattered throughout Southeast Missouri, students are given the chance to meet peers in their region they may not have crossed paths with otherwise.

“I’ve enjoyed the writing editorial board as it has allowed me to meet many other writers and expand my own writing as I learn new styles and go over other people’s work,” says Anya Spurgeon, a junior at Jackson High School who is a member of the Here. Writing and Art Editorial Boards. “It’s really interesting to see

just how many different ways to write there are. It’s allowed me to expand my own writing style, and while I’m not quite perfect at them yet, my style is evolving into something much better than before.”

These types of relationships reinforce in teens the idea that what they and others their age can contribute creatively to their community is vital. Programs like Here. Literary Magazine give young people a voice and a platform. In a place that, like any other community, needs the questions, concerns and thoughts of the youth, the Here. Magazine and editorial boards fill a void. Young people will be responsible for the narrative of their generation, and there’s no reason anyone should wait to start writing it. Teens possess the skills and insights needed to write the important stories, they just need to find the space where they can cultivate them. Here. helps shine a light on each individual’s potential and is paving a way for young voices to break through in the community of Southeast Missouri.

Mia Timlin is a junior at Notre Dame Regional High School and a member of the Here. Writing and Art Student Editorial Boards.

WANT TO KEEP UP WITH THE CENTRAL ACADEMY PRESS? FOLLOW THE NEWSPAPER ON INSTAGRAM: @CENTRALACADEMYPRESS AND READ THE STUDENTS’ WORK ONLINE AT CENTRALACADEMYPRESS.ORG.

INTERESTED IN HAVING YOUR WORK IN THE HERE. LITERARY MAGAZINE OR INVITING A WRITER OR ARTIST INTO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM TO LEAD A WORKSHOP? LEARN MORE ABOUT HERE. LITERARY MAGAZINE AND THE HERE. WRITERS + ARTISTS IN THE SCHOOLS PROGRAM, AS WELL AS SUBMIT YOUR ART AND WRITING, AT HERELIT.COM.

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Collage by Mia Pohlman

What women in books, songs, movies and life have taught me

On Anger

BY MIA POHLMAN

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Anger is something I’ve been thinking about and experiencing lately. It’s an emotion pervading our country right now, and because of that, in many cases and in many ways, I believe, pervading our private lives, too. It is an emotion that, left untransformed, can cause disorder and darkness. I don’t want to live like that.

But what do I do with anger when I experience it, and what do I do with it when the people around me experience it?

Throughout my life, literature has informed the way I think about the world and my own experiences. Through engaging with writers’ thoughts, it gives me a model to question what I believe — the parts of my thinking I want to retain and the parts I want to depart from.

That’s why it was revelatory for me the other day when I realized that while trying to think of female characters in literature who are angry, I couldn’t think of any.

I vaguely recalled having a conversation in one of my grad school literature classes about the three Tenorio sisters who were witches, minor characters in Rudolfo Anaya’s novel “Bless Me, Ultima.” They were all unmarried and lived together away from society. In the class, we wondered — were they perhaps only categorized as witches because they did not conform to expectations of women? Why are only female characters categorized as witches? And why do they usually follow certain archetypes: angry, unmarried, ugly, unlikable?

That’s when I realized: I could think of so few angry women in novels because I didn’t like them. Because of that, I didn’t aspire to be like them, and so they hadn’t made an impression on me, and I didn’t carry them along with me into my life beyond reading the book. Simply put, I didn’t pay attention to them.

Then another thought occurred to me: Anger isn’t something I pay attention to.

It’s true. It is easier to dismiss because that means I don’t have to deal with it. I don’t have to look closely, delve deeply,

become uncomfortable. In her 1981 speech “The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism” at the National Women’s Studies Association Conference, Audre Lorde spoke about the hard work of change anger calls us to.

“The angers of women can transform difference through insight into power. For anger between peers births change, not destruction, and the discomfort and sense of loss it often causes is not fatal, but a sign of growth,” she said.

If I don’t pay attention to anger and instead allow the people who express it to be only minor characters cloaked in a stereotypical title such as witches or bitches or whatever other word we use as a defense to describe women we are afraid of, then I can dismiss them and remain safely as I am. If I take anger seriously, however — the other’s and my own — then it does not allow me or the other party to stay the same. It calls us to action on someone’s behalf — either our own or another’s — and it asks us both to change in the process.

If women we are meant to read as “bad” in novels are the ones who express their anger outwardly, what of women we are meant to read as “good?” How do they deal with this very human emotion each of us experience? How do they express it?

“If an angry woman makes people uneasy, then her more palatable counterpart, the sad woman, summons sympathy more readily,” writes Leslie Jamison in The New York Times story “I Used to Insist I Didn’t Get Angry. Not anymore. On Female Rage.”

“She often looks beautiful in her suffering: ennobled, transfigured, elegant. Angry women are messier. Their pain threatens to cause more collateral damage. It’s as if the prospect of a woman’s anger harming other people threatens to rob her of the social capital she has gained by being wronged. We are most comfortable with female anger when it promises to regulate itself, to refrain from recklessness, to stay civilized.”

Think of women who are angry in the books, movies, songs and shows you know.

What does their anger tell you about their self or the society they live in?

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While anger often thrusts pain on another, sadness causes pain to our self.

Could this be why it is more socially acceptable for a woman to be sad than it is for her to be angry? As a sad person, she is a passive damsel in distress. As an angry person, she can act upon others.

Later in the essay, Jamison writes of the fact that anger and sadness are often viewed as being mutually exclusive, although they shouldn’t be.

“A woman couldn’t hurt and be hurt at once,” Jamison writes of her observance while watching the movie “I, Tanya.” “She could be either angry or sad. It was easier to outsource those emotions to the bodies of separate women than it was to acknowledge that they reside together in the body of every woman.”

After reading this, I recognized the coexistence of these two feelings in my own self when I feel angry. It occurred to me: Maybe I had overlooked women who were expressing anger in the novels I’d read because I’d mistaken their anger as something else, something like sadness or bitterness or craziness (after all, “mad” doubles as a synonym for “crazy”). I started broadening how I thought about the expression of anger.

I came up with a few more. Moaning Myrtle, the ghost in the Harry Potter series who cries constantly because her life was cut short when she was killed by a basilisk while seeking refuge from bullies in a bathroom.

Edna Pontellier in “The Awakening,” whose loneliness and inability to express her desires because of the repressive social structure she is ensnared by causes her to walk into the ocean. Bertha Antoinetta Mason, the wife of Mr. Rochester in “Jane Eyre” who is perceived as mentally unstable — written off more impolitely as “crazy” — because she is locked in an attic by her husband. Could it be, perhaps, Jean Rhys considers in her alternative novel “Wide Sargasso Sea” told from Bertha’s point of view, that Bertha is actually

not mentally unstable but instead angry because she has been taken from her family and country and then locked away due to her husband’s racist attitudes so he can fall in love with a teenager? Could all of these women actually be not sad, but rather, angry because of the circumstances society has thrust upon them? Could their sadness and anger be not a reflection of their own character, but a reflection of the ills and evils of the society they are a part of?

Anger is something to pay attention to. It has something to teach us.

It is easy to dismiss angry women. If everyone in society agrees to turn our heads, to give a little laugh and a knowing roll of our eyes, we can go on living our lives the way they’ve always been. Maybe the work, then, is to unlearn my complicity with society, to instead turn my head toward the angry other and ask, “What did you say?” in a way that wants to understand rather than silence. And hope, with my own anger, others do the same.

H

ow and when do we learn this, the socially acceptable moments to feel anger, the socially acceptable ways to express or stifle it? How and when do we learn the consequences of not adhering to these social norms?

The verse goes like this: “Please picture me / in the weeds / before I learned civility, / I used to scream ferociously / any time I wanted. / I, I.” The words are from the song “Seven,” and are, in my opinion, the best lyrics Taylor Swift has written. They are a plea for the listener to see the speaker in her natural, true state, a version of herself before she was taught to be an adult. I think about these words because of what they point out: adulthood is the ability to control our emotions — which oftentimes means lying about or repressing them, and it is something we are taught as we grow. Babies come

out of the womb screaming, and how can we blame them? Their exit from what is most often a warm, safe home just their size into something vast and cold and hard. Losing our temper, is, perhaps, the most honest response in many situations, yet we shame people — even children — for “acting like a child” when they show their anger. Perhaps what we don’t want is honesty.

I love that Swift uses the word “learned” in the lyric. Civility is something, this word claims, she has been taught, and she half-laments it, although not enough to abandon it in a return to “screaming ferociously anytime she wants.” Or perhaps her education in being civilized has been so complete she feels she no longer can return to this state of innocence and honesty about who she is. I love that in the next line, she sings the word “I” almost as a grown-up version of screaming ferociously, a scream she has learned to make beautiful so as to be socially acceptable. It is a sort of tame, vaguely haunting attempt to reclaim what is hers: her self.

Poet Layli Long Soldier, in her poem “Whereas,” also speaks to the ways our society acculturates girls into women who do not express their true feelings of anger.

She writes about an incident in which her daughter falls and skins her knees. Her friends bring her bleeding into the bathroom, and her daughter smiles, nervously laughing to try to hide her pain. Soldier instructs her, “Stop, my girl. If you’re hurting, cry. You must / show your feelings so that others know, so that we can help. … In our home / in our family we are ourselves, real feelings. You can do this with others, be true.” Soldier catches herself, later, however, laughing sadly as she reads the way language is manipulated in service of the oppressor in the U.S. Government’s 2009 apologies to Native Peoples. With her own reaction, she realizes her daughter

“After all, ‘mad’ doubles as a synonym for ‘crazy.’”

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has learned to hide her pain through mock happiness not from her friends but from her, and that Soldier herself has learned it from “a deep practice very old.”

A deep practice very old we have all learned it from.

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n the scene right after Lena runs to tell Kostas she loves him on the ferry dock in Santorini, Carmen summons all of her courage and calls her dad to tell him she is angry with him for marrying a new woman and being a good father to his new stepchildren without telling her, angry he only visits her twice a year, fearful his actions stem from racism and shame of her and her mother. He tries to cut her off, incorrectly assuming she is calling to apologize for throwing a rock through the front window of his house, telling her it’s not necessary for her to say she’s sorry.

She is not calling to apologize.

“I am angry with you,” she says, instead.

And with that simple phrase, she gave a generation of girls a model.

It is in “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,” that series that shepherded so many girls of my generation into womanhood, and we were 13 years old watching it — we’d read it the year before. She gave us words to express what we felt: “I am angry with you.” Fifteen years later, I still think about that scene intermittently, Carmen’s courage and boldness, saying those words so directly, so truthfully. I admire it. I admire her. She taught us, even if we didn’t realize it then, to claim our feelings born of our experiences and to give them voice. She still, perhaps, follows us around, bearing that gift, whispering that truth, “I am angry with you,” a fictional example of how we might be in the world, women who stand up and speak our truths with conviction, even when we are scared.

It is interesting to note that while I was growing up, Carmen was my least favorite of

the four friends in the series, the one I identified with the least, even though she was the writer. Then, I loved Lena, the sad, unsure, beautiful one who struggles to believe she is lovable while finding the courage to fall in love with a guy who loves her but is also young and fallible and makes mistakes she can never quite forgive him, never quite forget him, for. Her anger at the man she loves who chooses not to love her back like she wants him to turns inward and expresses itself as sadness and heartbrokenness, the more traditionally acceptable way for anger to present itself in women. Growing up, I wanted to be like her.

Carmen’s anger, on the other hand, explodes outward when she throws a rock into the window of her father’s house, smashing it. Hers is the type of anger not always socially rewarded in women, the type of anger I suspect I was inadvertently socialized to look down upon. One reason, perhaps, I never connected as strongly with her character, although I admired parts of it: I didn’t want to be like that. It is not nice to throw rocks through people’s windows, and society has its ways of telling us that women who aren’t nice aren’t as likable.

Aren’t as lovable.

Now, perhaps, I recognize both of these women’s reactions as two responses to the same emotion: anger. Each, however, has a different outcome: Carmen’s less sociallyacceptable behavior is destructive to another’s property and, perhaps, to another’s ego. Lena’s quiet, socially-rewarded anger that makes her nice and therefore more likable, on the other hand, is self-destructive; even several books and years later, she is unable to move on with her life from the heartbreak she has experienced, a fact attributed to her ability to feel things deeply (she is an artist, after all). Perhaps, though, her lack of healing from this wound is in part because she never fully expressed her anger at the

injustice of being betrayed despite her own devotion. She remains civilized, retaining her social capital at the expense of her self.

D

o all people have a right to anger and to expressing it? Our country is reeling from violence upon our government incited by anger at a loss of power. Women are physically abused by men who are angry. Businesses are looted during protests to point attention toward anger so as to create change in an economic system that oppresses the people who made the prospering possible for those who benefit from the system. Should all forms of anger be allowed to be expressed? How do we justify our answer to that question? Where does a right to express anger end?

Audre Lorde, when talking about Black women and white women together confronting racism in her 1981 speech at the National Women’s Association Conference, made an important distinction between hatred and anger, two experiences that can often be confused for the other.

“This hatred and our anger are very different,” she said. “Hatred is the fury of those who do not share our goals, and its object is death and destruction. Anger is a grief of distortions between peers, and its object is change.”

Hatred, according to Lorde, destroys and causes death. Anger, on the other hand, leads to dialogue that creates and is life-giving. In this way of looking at it, we are often confusing anger that hardens into hatred with anger that transforms into love. This way of looking at it makes the point that anger is useful, perhaps, to the extent that it moves us toward understanding each other, propels us to work together with another for change.

It ceases to become useful for lasting change when it closes its eyes to, isolates or silences the other or our self in any way.

Sure, violence that is the result of

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destructive, untransformed anger can be a quick, temporary fix to an issue. As we have seen in our country throughout history and in our own time, anger can be used as a tool by forces that seek to maintain power, manipulate and control. It is a desperate grasp to retain what is believed to be rightfully ours.

But it is a shifting solution built on sand and does not last. It demands more and more anger and more and more power until soon, we forget the purpose: to change, transform.

Untransformed, destructive anger seeks to retain the status quo. With it, we ask nothing of our self; rather, we ask the other to either do the work of changing alone or to continue suffering while we do nothing. It is therefore selfish. This kind of anger leads us deeper into our self, and because of that, it is dangerous.

Anger that leads us outward, however, has the ability to help us connect with each other.

And when we connect with another, we can create new possibilities that consider more, that are different from anything we could create on our own. As people who live in a community, making a place for each other is what it’s all about.

When we find our self cherishing our anger in a way that keeps us from going to the other, we can ask our self: What would you do if you weren’t angry? What would you do if you weren’t sad? Letting go frees us to go after other pursuits, opens us to new possibilities in which we do not place limits on ourselves because of something that happened in our past. When anger becomes a pastime that is a barrier to community, ask yourself: What would you rather do instead? We only get so much time.

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f part of the issue is that we must allow women to experience and express anger, must give this grace to our friends, our mothers, our sisters, our daughters, our selves, part of the issue is also that anger wounds, it traps,

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and, quite without metaphor or hyperbole, it kills. This killing, this poison, this bitterness is not the life we want to live for ourselves, is not the life we want to inflict upon others.

“Mostly,” as the poet Danusha Laméris writes in her poem “Small Kindnesses,” “We don’t want to harm each other.” The need to express our anger and the fact that it will cause pain when we do not want it to: How do we reconcile these dichotomous truths?

Many self-help books are eager to sell us one solution.

“If you have ever looked for ways to think about anger, chances are, like I did, you immediately found advice about ‘anger management,’” writes Sooraya Chemaly in the article “Women’s Anger Will Change the World.” “It’s an interesting term, as it implies we have control over how and when we feel anger, and that it must be controlled or reined in.”

As Chemaly points out, the field of anger management seems to be founded upon the unquestioned idea that anger is negative and not something we want to engage with. Anger, according to anger management, is a problem to be fixed or solved, a chronic truth that must be lived with and hopefully most days — with good effort — kept at bay. Anger management does not imagine anger as able to be healed or transformed, or as a force for healing and transformation. It is the equivalent of taking medicine for back pain rather than having surgery.

But should the goal of anger be to avoid experiencing or inflicting pain? Or might there be some form of enlightenment if we dare to press into the necessary suffering?

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book “True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart,” uses the metaphor of a mother comforting her child to propose the idea of receiving and taking care of our anger.

“When the mother hears her baby crying,

she puts down whatever she has in her hands, she goes into its room, and takes the baby in her arms,” he writes. “The moment the baby is lifted into the mother’s arms, the energy of wisdom already begins to penetrate into the baby’s body. The mother does not know yet what is the matter with the baby, but the fact that she has it in her arms already gives her child some relief. The baby stops crying. Then the mother continues to hold the baby in her arms, she continues to offer it the energy of tenderness, and during this time, the mother practices deep looking. A mother is a very talented person. She only needs two or three minutes to figure out what is the matter with her baby. … Then when the understanding comes, the mother can transform the situation immediately.”

“It is the same thing with meditation,” he continues. “When you have pain within you, the first thing to do is to bring the energy of mindfulness to embrace the pain. ‘I know that you are there, little anger, my old friend.

Breathe — I am taking care of you now.’”

Taking care of our anger, as Thich Nhat Hanh writes, does not mean treasuring it so it festers and becomes bitterness or resentment or hatred. Rather, it means acknowledging it so it can be transformed, through deep looking, breathing in as we say to ourselves, “I know that I am angry” and breathing out, “I know that the anger is still in me” for five to 10 minutes. “You will be able to look deeply at the true nature of your anger,” Thich Nhat Hanh writes. “This discovery, this understanding, this wisdom, will liberate you from your pain.”

It is the fear of feeling hurt — the fear of suffering — that causes us to repress our anger and other difficult feelings, the monk goes on to say. Instead, we fill ourselves with distractions to keep the pain at bay. The pain instead manifests itself as depression and stress.

“We should not adopt this boycott policy,” Thich Nhat Hanh writes. “On the contrary,

we should open our door so that our suffering can come out. We are afraid of doing that, but Buddhism teaches us that we should not be afraid, because we have available to us an energy that should help us to care for our pain — the energy of mindfulness. … ‘I am here for you, dear one, I am here for you.’”

At the 1981 women’s conference, Audre Lorde spoke about how she has learned to use her anger as a response to racism as a tool for growth and the understanding Thich Nhat Hanh also writes about. “My fear of anger taught me nothing,” she said. “Your fear of anger will teach you nothing, also.”

Rather, she said, anger can be a tool from which we learn so we can together create new ways of being with and for each other.

“My anger and your attendant fears are spotlights that can be used for growth in the same way I have used learning to express anger for my growth,” she said. “But for corrective surgery, not guilt. Guilt and defensiveness are bricks in a wall against which we all flounder; they serve none of our futures. …

Anger is loaded with information and energy.”

Each of our emotions communicate something, teach us something about our self. And each of another person’s emotions communicates something, teach us something about their self. When babies cry and scream, we don’t yell or scream back at them. We lift them into our arms and try to understand what is wrong, knowing their crying and screaming is their way of communicating to us something is not right; something is not the way they would like it to be for them to go on living in peace and freedom. We lift babies into our arms to hold them and help them when they are angry; maybe we can do the same for our selves and for each other.

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n her 1981 speech, Lorde pointed out that between women, there are differences of “race, color, age, class and sexual

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identity,” and that while we might be the oppressed in one experience, we can also simultaneously be the oppressor in another. We cannot assume all women’s anger is the same anger; we must recognize the ways in which women of differing experiences are allowed or not allowed by society — and by our selves — to feel and express anger.

We must examine our anger and our guilt toward each other and work to move past it, too.

“For Black women and white women to face each other’s angers without denial or immobility or silence or guilt is in itself a heretical and generative idea,” Lorde said. “It implies peers meeting upon a common basis to examine difference, and to alter those distortions which history has created around our difference. … The angers between women will not kill us if we can articulate them with precision, if we listen to the content of what is said with at least as much intensity as we defend ourselves against the manner of saying. When we turn from anger we turn from insight, saying we will accept only the designs already known, deadly and safely familiar.”

It is imperative, Lorde says, that we examine not only how our anger is inflamed, but also how it inflames others. I must do it in my personal relationships: how am I acting as oppressor? I must do it in the public, societal structures and economic systems I participate in: how am I acting as oppressor? I must ask: How do my actions mete out justice, yes, and how do they hinder it? And then I must unite with others — perhaps even those who appear most angry with me — to work to change this hindrance.

On a private scale, anger can sever our closest relationships, causing abuse and neglect, the refusal to consider what another’s anger might tell us. Or, it can build a bridge between two people to new ways of being that consider both people’s needs. On a public scale, anger can lead to dialogue that helps us create a just society for everyone, one that upholds each person’s dignity and gives each person equal footing, or it can stoke racism and unjust social structures, start wars, oppress and kill.

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The choice is ours. Will we consider the other and enter into dialogue? Will we work to ensure anger is the middle of the story — not the end?

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hat do we do with our anger? We know from the chaos of both our own hearts and the world around us that it cannot stay untransformed.

We must use it in the service of true peace, allow it to be transformed into love, not hatred. Sometimes, the answer is to let it go. To learn from it and then let our selves go free from it so we can live in lightness and forgiveness and love. Sometimes, the answer is to use it to work toward change so we can live in the truth of equality and forgiveness and love. Either way, maybe it is about loving attention.

Greta Gerwig’s beautiful film “Lady Bird” delves into the ways we have been unfair to both women and men in the ways we allow each to traditionally express anger. The key to understanding the entire movie is tucked in a scene near the end of the film, when the principal, Sister Sarah-Joan, poses a question to teenage Lady Bird, who claims it is not love that has driven her to write an entire essay about the place she is from and desperately wants to leave, but rather the fact that she “just” pays attention. Sister Sarah-Joan asks: “Don’t you think that maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?”

Yes, when that attention is not self-serving, but rather, open to the other.

I think maybe, that is the key for us, too. In books, in movies and in real life, when someone is angry, we must ask with open hearts, “Why?” Even though attention is the thing we least want to give to the other when we are angry, we must give it because attention validates existence; neglect kills it.

Because perhaps anger, after all, is a cry for just that: someone to pay attention to us, to listen to us, to see us without forcing their own agenda or prescriptions or ideologies upon us. A cry for an equal portion, for a fair chance, for a warm place.

A cry for the other to stay, to care, to love us, like a baby in this world, messy and naked and screaming as we are.

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Write it here and then hang it in a place where your declaration will remind you daily of how you want to live. Then, live it out.

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On the Cusp

INTRODUCTION BY MIA POHLMAN PHOTOS BY A ARON EISENHAUER

Exciting, scary, wild, free: there is something magical about the momentum of the moments when we’re almost there. In the not-quite-ready, but almost, we defy the pressure to change while we live the just before, in transition. It is difficult and exhilarating, sometimes discouraging and also invigorating.

Here, four local women tell us about a time in their lives when they were on the cusp of something. We hope their stories inspire you to fully inhabit the not-quite-yet of your approach, and then to forge ahead into the new and unknown, confident in your ability to welcome with daring, joy and tenderness all that awaits you.

Be brave: receive the many beautiful things.

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Sydnie Edwards

Having just graduated from Southeast Missouri State University, my whole life is on the cusp.

I am transitioning to work full-time at my job, learning to care for a puppy, falling in love for the first time and soon to be moving away from my family to a big city. The bright, open space of our sunroom has been an oasis for me since I’ve moved here. It has been my workspace, my rest space, a gathering space and a creative space. I have had many long-distance conversations in this room and have wrapped up my college years in this room. It’s a special place, and I just really love it.

My roommate Savannah has had an open ear for me during this transitional season of life. She has listened and helped me process the whole way through. I honestly wouldn’t be where I am right now without her. My next step is to adventure to Tempe, Ariz., where my sister and I will be joining a good friend to follow our childhood dreams of living together. I feel optimistic and radical about the future and what is yet to come.

Something to prove: I have to prove to myself that I can succeed in my field in a more competitive city.

A song that has mattered: “Alaska,” by Maggie Rogers

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Janet Wigfall

I returned to work as an educator of 28 years in March 2020 after having open heart surgery as a result of breast cancer treatments, in a world that was breaking faster than imaginable. Two weeks after returning, the whole world shut down from the COVID-19 outbreak.

Because of my vulnerability to the virus, I followed doctors’ recommendations and regretfully retired. It was during this time of grieving the losses of my purpose, ability to go to work, heart that was literally and figuratively broken, feelings of helplessness and being lost, and family members who had passed away that I was faced with loneliness and isolation due to being vulnerable to COVID-19.

I began deeply examining my soul. I knew my life would never be the same, so I would have to change from old ways of doing and thinking. This began the rediscovery of my life in the present.

During this still and quiet time, a mental space opened where I heard God whispers of how to move forward and trust he was with me and will never leave. The more I studied and meditated on his words, the less my focus was on my own sadness, but instead I was feeding my mind, body and spirit with hope and purpose. I had more time to listen and pray for others.

I enjoy cooking healthy meals, walking and exercising. I had opportunities while exercising with Kweku Arkorful to discuss my desires to go back to work and stay healthy. Little did I know, he would soon open a fitness academy. I met and had a casual conversation with his business partner, too, while

exercising. During all of this, God had a plan which led to my present position as a customer care specialist at Be Chosen Academy, which is perfect for me at this time, because it ecnompasses everything I enjoy — talking to others, exercising and rediscovering my life’s purpose while making my transformation.

I am learning that what seemed like the end of life as I knew it truly was, but it is also a new beginning.

I get the opportunity to rediscover myself with a new purpose, accomplishing new goals. My life made a big shift, causing me to live this new normal and figure it out as I go. I’ve had to let the past stay behind me and the future be an unplanned adventure.

Something to prove: I am always in competition with myself. I challenge myself all the time and in every situation. My health, for example, is one area of life in which I constantly strive to make a difference.

I prove to myself having perseverance and will power pay off, and never settle for the status quo.

Wisdom to share: Serve others, and allow others to serve you. I had been a caregiver for various family members most of my life and had been fairly healthy until the surgeries. Then, I entered into a new arena — learning how to be helpless and dependent. I’ve found people are willing to help if you tell them what you need. And when life is so tough you don’t even know what you need, God provides by telling others, who in turn tell you.

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Anchal Dimri

Music and running are my best friends. As I say, we always understand each other. Running or being active is not an important aspect of my life — it is my life. I don’t need much to be happy but just my headphones and a run. That is the time when I connect with myself. A time when I am not thinking about anything else or anyone else but me. (Although I obviously love my company.)

In 2014, after I got pregnant with my daughter, because of minor complications, I had to give up running until she was born. So, I enjoyed my pregnancy and gained a considerable amount of weight in a petite body frame. I felt so not me, uncomfortable — the feeling of being captured in a wrong body — but at the time, the joy and excitement of becoming a mom surpassed all.

The hardest part was going back to running or even to start walking. With months passing by, getting back was only becoming harder.

One hundred pounds of weight gain, a C-section, back problems and a colic baby just added to it all. After months of thinking, there was the day I decided, “I have to.”

I guess more than physical, it was the mental determination and strength that helped me to get back. I kept my goals very small and realistic. Like I started by walking 10 minutes if that was what my body allowed at that time. I knew transitioning back was a process and would take time, patience, dedication and perseverance. And yes, after a year, my dedication paid off when I successfully completed my first City of Roses Marathon two years after the birth of my daughter.

When I look back, the most difficult part in this process was me taking time out for myself. I had to sacrifice that one hour of not being with my daughter but running. It sometimes made me feel guilty, made me think if I was being selfish? But then I listened to my mind and thought it was OK. It was OK to take back half an hour for myself in a

day. After all, my daughter deserves a strong and happy mom. Sometimes, as women — as moms — we forget about ourselves and our individuality and our personal goals.

I feel any transition in life smaller or bigger is not easy, but what makes the process achievable is our mindset. A positive mindset — it is OK to lose, it’s fine. Don’t be too hard on yourself — it’s just life! We are not here forever — all we can do is give it our best.

How becoming a mother has transformed: Being a mother is a blessing; I personally never felt I was mentally ready for it until it came to me. I guess I doubted my capabilities of being a mom.

It has made me a more loving, stronger and patient person. I believe I would have never understood the true meaning of love if I didn’t have my daughter. I experienced the most sacrificing, endless and selfless love because of my daughter, Aadi.

Outlook on life right now: With time, age and everything else happening around me, I feel the transition within myself, especially after becoming a mom. I feel more inclined towards my family, country, culture than I ever did. The feeling of belonging is missing somewhere. And I am searching for an unmaterialistic purpose in life. I am directing more towards spirituality and self-realization and trying to find the things that matter most to me.

Now that I realize how difficult it is for me to be away from my daughter for even a day, I am questioning my decisions of whether living an American dream was worth staying away from my family? The time of happiness, festivals and the difficult times when they needed us. Not sure where this transition will lead me in the future, but I feel I will always have a regret in my heart of not being able to be with my family all these years. But this is life — you give away one thing to get another, and you never get it all.

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Clara Bogenpohl

Clara Bogenpohl started kindergarten this past fall at Oak Ridge Elementary School. She says before she went to kindergarten, she felt “nervous,” but now that she’s been in kindergarten for almost six months, she feels “great” about it. She especially loves outdoor recess time, when she gets to climb on a rocket-shaped jungle gym. She also enjoys going to After-School Adventure Club, where she does her homework, eats snacks and plays. During class time, she says she loves learning about teddy bears and tall teeth during the letter “T” week. Now that she’s used to kindergarten, she says it’s what she thought it would be.

Her advice to people who are starting something new is simple: “Don’t be nervous,” she says.

And to help someone who is nervous about beginning a new adventure, she extends these reassuring words: “It’s okay, I’ll be right behind you.”

A song that matters: “‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ by Queen just automatically goes into my brain immediately because, like, don’t stop me from having a good time at the ball.”

Someone who helps in life: “Lola [the cat] helps heal my booboos by laying with me. I love that she sleeps with me at night. It makes me happy. I love her so much.”

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You Art for

W O R D S A N D WAT E R C O LO R PA I N T I N G B Y A M A N DA F L I N N

The water closes in, threatening to take me down.

Overwhelmed by salt and sand, I find myself Splashing. Gasping. Fighting.

Struggling to survive.

Waves of self-doubt crash over my head.

Anxiety and fear swirl around my feet.

What if I’m not enough?

What if I’m too much?

My eyes dart left, then right. I am alone with my thoughts.

Just me and the water Bending. Thrashing. Gulping.

How can something so vital, so necessary, so important also have the power to swallow me whole?

Exhausted by a world full of darkness My soul cries out.

With one final breath, my eyes close.

And I feel it.

Light, spreading across my weathered face.

Shining. Inviting. Warming.

Filling me from the inside out. I need more.

Kicking my heels up, I throw my head back into the salty ocean.

And look up.

Squinting to see the source, I float and listen To a voice whispering, “I am here. You are mine.”

In the depths of the ocean, I remember who I am.

What I was born to do.

Dreaming. Creating. Inspiring.

Making the world a better place. Where pain exists, but so does love.

Waters rise. The sun rises. And I rise, too.

Shaking off comparison and regret, I step forward into the light.

Believing in progress over perfection.

Knowing I’m on the verge of something great.

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Try Something New Watercolor is the process of painting with pigments that are mixed with water. With just a little water, the colors can be bright and vibrant. Add more water, and the colors become subtle and opaque. Mix when wet, and your colors will bleed. Wait until dry, and the colors won’t mix. It’s a simple form of art that, with a little patience and practice, can be relaxing and fun for all ages and skill levels.

PRACTICE HERE

SU PPLI ES N EEDED: _ A Paint Compact — I use Winsor & Newton Cotman, set of 14 half-pans _ Paint brushes (at least two sizes) _ Watercolor paper pad _ Cup of water _ Pencil _ Paper towel _ Thin Sharpie (optional)

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3 TI PS FOR LE ARN I NG HOW TO WATERCOLOR:

Take an online class.

Remember the 3Ps.

Be Kind to Yourself.

Many artists provide free tutorials, and it’s a great way to get started. My favorite is Paint with Paige, which is offered every Thursday night at 8:30 p.m. on Instagram Live. Follow her on IG @ paigepayne_creations.

A pencil, paper towel and highquality paint will be your best friend. Lightly sketching your design sets your paint boundaries, and the pencil is easy to erase. A paper towel helps with transitioning between colors, adjusting the wetness of the brush and quickly blotting up mistakes. While any paint can be used, a high-quality paint offers depth and tends to blend more easily.

No one masters a new skill on the first go. Take your time and enjoy the process. Paint with a friend. Give yourself grace and continue to learn from your mistakes. Play music. Listen to an audiobook. Breathe. And know that within each line, each stroke, each drop of water, you are creating something beautiful.

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So Onward We Moved How forest bathing one afternoon helped me let go of 2020

By Jamie Phillips 44

“I don’t want this,” I remember thinking to myself in the fall of 2020.

I didn’t want to be living through a pandemic. I didn’t want to be separated from friends and family. And I didn’t want to accept that I had just unexpectedly lost my second parent in four years.

Yet, there I was.

All of those things I didn’t want were happening to me. And while I was surrounded by people who loved and cared about me, their kind words and thoughtful gestures were falling on deaf ears. I was angry. I was lost. And I knew I had to leave. To get away. To be somewhere that wasn’t about sickness and separation.

Now, if hindsight is 20/20 and I am being honest, my need to leave didn’t have as much to do with leaving my physical surroundings as it did with leaving what was going on inside me, but at the moment, travel seemed like one small step toward reclaiming a year that I thought had been unfairly taken from me.

It was this need that had me scouring VRBO for a safe, sociallydistanced cabin outside of Asheville, N.C., and booking nature activities like forest bathing.

If you’re unfamiliar with it, forest bathing, or shinrin-yoku, is a Japanese practice that focuses on connecting with nature through sight, touch, sound, etc. It’s not a hike or strenuous physical exercise.

It is a mental exercise. One that can prove to be particularly difficult

in a world filled with distractions. It can be done anywhere — your backyard, the park or a trail with or without a guide. Ideally, it isn’t a one-time experience but something that becomes part of your routine.

Since this was my first time forest bathing, I chose a guided tour led by a wonderful guide named Dr. Mattie. In addition to being a mindfulness teacher, a Zen practitioner and a retired professor of education certified in wilderness medicine and first aid, Dr. Mattie is also an oblate — a layperson affiliated with an order of Episcopal nuns, the Sisters of the Transfiguration, and lives in a retreat house on the property we were about to walk. In 2015, the Order placed the 410-acre property under conservation easement conveying ownership of most of that land to Conserving Carolina.

As I walked along listening to Dr. Mattie share stories about the land and her background, I started really taking in my surroundings.

Until then, I had been preoccupied with what was about to happen, what I was going to miss being away from my phone for three hours and what we were eating for lunch when it was over, so it’s fair to say that even though I had searched out the activity of forest bathing, I wasn’t really going into it with the most open mind.

But as I walked, I started to come out of my fog and began concentrating on deep breathing, soaking in the vastness of the world around me and immersing myself in the colors, sounds and smells.

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DIRECTION

TOUCH

After we had walked for approximately 10 minutes, Dr. Mattie stopped the group with an invitation regarding direction. One of the key tenets of forest bathing, an invitation is an activity designed to encourage you to engage with the environment around you.

During the first invitation, she invited each of us to walk in whatever direction we wanted as far or as close to our starting point as we wanted until we landed on a spot that felt right. The spot I found was facing northeast.

On a mission for purpose and reason, I asked Dr. Mattie what my selection of northeast meant, hoping there was some deep spiritual reason I gravitated towards that direction. Needless to say, there wasn’t, or if there was, it wasn’t something I found out that day. So onward I moved.

We continued to walk through the property, and at this point, we were so deep in the forest, it was hard to remember there was an outside world, much less care about what was going on in it. After a while, we came upon a raging river angry from the previous night’s rain and storms. As we walked gingerly along the rocks on the river’s edge, our next invitation from Dr. Mattie was to focus on touch. To find something we could pick up and feel. After we found our items and brought them into the group, we shared why that particular item spoke to us, passing the items around so others could experience the feeling, too. We ended the invitation by placing them all back in the place where we found them. And onward we moved.

SIGHT

GROUNDING

The next invitation came much quicker than the first and was focused on sight: to explore and examine the leaves, trees, rocks and earth around us, and not only look at something, but actually see it and think about it.

The night before had been full of rain and wind, so everything in the forest was wet, and there was still dampness in the air, as if it could start raining again at any moment.

As I walked along, one tree, in particular, stood out to me. It was covered in raindrops that were weighing on its branches. And when I looked closely, I could see the water droplets dangling precariously as if they were about to fall, but they never did, which fascinated me. This tree wasn’t particularly tall or big; in fact, compared to the others around it, it was really quite small, yet its limbs weren’t breaking or bending from the weight of these water droplets.

At that moment, I felt something inside me click, and all of a sudden, I realized I wasn’t on this journey in nature to learn new things. I was on this journey to remember what I already knew: Much like the water droplets, I, too, have been precariously close to falling but have always managed to hang on, and that would continue no matter how tough life was in a particular season. And onward we moved.

We continued on for the next hour with similar invitations — touching trees, smelling the fragrant aroma and learning from Dr. Mattie about the medicinal uses for many of the plants, trees and flowers we were exploring, until finally, we reached our last invitation, which was to sit and ground ourselves.

Two and a half hours into our journey, we knew the drill, so we wandered along until we each found a place that felt right, and once we found it, we sat down putting as much of our body as possible in contact with the earth.

The place I chose was on a large rock along a creek that branched off of the raging river from before. And while the water was probably too cold, I couldn’t help but take my shoes and socks off to dip my feet in, spending the next 30 minutes just sitting there. No phone, no conversation, no social media, no anything but my thoughts and the peaceful sound of the water.

Our final invitation of the day was to sit as a group with Dr. Mattie for a tea ceremony.

As we talked about our experience, a thermos of hot tea was passed around. Tea made of hot water and pine needles from an Eastern White Pine Tree — a tree that despite not being particularly tall or big never broke or bent from the weight of the water droplets it held. We poured a cup for ourselves. We poured a cup for the land. And onward we moved.

46

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sfmc.net | 573-331-3000 47

ISSUE 41

Things to Love

Fresh Baked Websites Callie Bollinger Ritter Real Estate 48

Wish Boutique Belladona Salon & Spa + B Boutique

Jackson KC Hall West Em Medical Spa

The Tote by flourish Design Exclusive, LLC

Things to Love

FRESH BAKED WEBSITES Do you need a website for your business?

Andrew Schmid, owner of Fresh Baked Websites, is a Southeast Missouri native with more than 10 years of web design experience as a web specialist at Southeast Missouri State University and project manager at Element 74. His clients include everyone from individuals such as Ella Rose Originals to small businesses like Cakes Reanimated to corporations like Dexter Ag. Get in touch with Andrew at (573) 290-2367 to schedule a free consultation or planning session so he can help you start your next project. It’s website design that’s so fast and affordable, it’s easy as pie.

CALLIE BOLLINGER RITTER REAL ESTATE My home is one of my favorite places. The living room is where I spend time with my husband and puppies. My kitchen is where I prepare my family’s favorite dishes. Our deck is a sunny place where we make memories with friends. Because of this, real estate is so much more to me than helping families buy and sell houses — it’s about Connecting Hearts and Homes. My mission is to help families find the home of their dreams. Reach out to me at (573) 238-5751 so we can work together to find your place in the world where love and laughter can be shared and a lifetime of memories made. CallieBollinger.com

Freshbakedwebsites.com

Ritter Real Estate Office: 573-803-3880

WISH BOUTIQUE What do we love? Gorgeous signs of spring in vivid color! This gorgeous floral maxi is a huge trend — long, prairie-type skirts in floral will be everywhere this season. Find yours at Wish. Pair with this darling clutch, and you’re ready for every occasion! A denim jacket ties everything together and keeps the early spring chill away. Stop by and check out all of our new spring arrivals; whether you’re looking for fashionable loungewear, the perfect brunch outfit or a look for a special occasion — we’ve got you covered! 213 S. Broadway, next to Trees N Trends in Cape.

(573) 803-2552 Shop online at wishcape.com.

49

Things to Love

BELLADONA SALON & SPA + B BOUTIQUE Make a subtle, yet bold statement with the Volcano Aqua Signature Jar. The iconic Volcano fragrance deserves just as iconic of a vessel, making this the perfect pop for any place in a room. With notes of tropical fruits and sugared citrus, all eyes will surely go straight to this jar. Find yours at either Belladona Salon location in Cape, or in our newest addition, B Boutique!

Opening this spring, B Boutique is located next to the Belladona Park West location, bringing you a variety of luxury beauty products, lifestyle products, home décor and gifts.

2502 Tanner Dr., Suite 101 201 S. Mt. Auburn Rd., Suite F Cape Girardeau belladonasalons.com (573) 335-6033

50

JACKSON KC HALL Are you looking for the perfect smokefree place to host your reception or group event? The KC facilities in Jackson, located at 3305 N. High St. in Jackson, include two large banquet halls; the upper hall seats 450 people, and the lower hall seats 250 people.

Both offer a full bar and dance floor, reasonable rental rate, great food with on-site catering and plenty of paved parking. In addition, the hall has easy access off I-55 with plenty of lodging close by.

To reserve, contact David at (573) 243-5464 or email kchalljacksonmo@att.net.

FLOURISH LUNCH DATE Grab your lunch and a mug of tea and join us for the re-launch of flourish Lunch Date, good conversation with local women you’ll want to be friends with.

This time around, we’ll be talking about big ideas relevant to our times, and editor Mia Pohlman and each week’s guest will choose articles, poems, stories or essays from their field to help us think about the week’s topic.

Let’s make it a standing date: We'll see you at noon the first and third Thursdays of each month on our flourish, a magazine for Southeast Missouri women Facebook page.

Things to Love

WEST EM MEDICAL SPA One of our favorite treatments is our BBL (Broad Band Light). It targets age spots, small facial veins, acne, rosacea and many other skin conditions. The light energy delivered by BBL will gently heat the upper layers of your skin. The heat absorbed by the targeted areas will stimulate your skin cells to regenerate. This corrective process will restore your skin to its natural beauty, making it clearer, smoother, more vibrant and younger-looking. After just one treatment, your pores will be less noticeable, and uneven pigmentation will begin to fade.

Call (573) 803-4321 to schedule your free consultation or book online at westemspa.com.

DESIGN EXCLUSIVE Design Exclusive, LLC principal designer, stylist, florist and owner Linda McKinnis has been named a 2021 “Best of Weddings” wedding planner and company by The Knot, a leading wedding planning and registry brand and app. By being honored with this accolade, Linda represents the highest-rated and most-rated wedding professionals as reviewed by real couples, their families and wedding guests on The Knot. From floor plans, lighting and draping, to beautiful floral artistry and linens, plus access to the Design Exclusive sought-after in-house inventory, Linda and her team would love to help you create the wedding you’ve always imagined.

THE TOTE BY FLOURISH Unpack the tote bag: Our sisters who are local entrepreneurs are sharing with us the beauty of their newest products, as well as tips for living a full and true life. It’s all in The Tote by flourish, a new monthly email featuring curated lifestyle content plus featured products and services from local businesses. Sign up to join our flourish community in the delight of discovering new lovely little things at flourishwomen. io or semissourian.com/flourish.

www.designexclusivellc.com (573) 275-6722 Weddings | Events | Planning | Floral Artistry

51

H E Y, C O N T R IB U TO RS:

What book or movie has changed you?

“The Return of Mary Poppins.” It was almost a jolt as it spoke three things to me at precisely a time I needed to hear them: 1. Loved ones are never really gone. 2. It’s OK if life is messy. 3. There’s always time for laughter.

JAMIE PHILLIPS

“The Giver” by Lois Lowry was the first book I read that challenged my perception of our world — what it is and what it could be — and allowed me to experience a perspective different than my current reality. I’ve been a lover of dystopian novels ever since.

A story that has changed me and has played a big role in my life is “Little Women.” My sister and I grew up having the book read to us, and it’s one of the first stories I remember really loving and feeling a connection with.

MIA TIMLIN

AMANDA FLINN

ON THE COVER

The Next Voices

On Anger

Forest Bathing

41

SPRING 2021 | CUSP

Sydnie Edwards is a local artist and one cool person. Soon, she will be moving to Arizona. We are so excited for her, and we will miss her.

“We Found a Hat” by Jon Klassen is a beautiful book I love reading to my son. It’s about relationships and how they’re the most valuable things we have. And also, there’s turtles in cowboy hats.

Clothes, hat and boots from Flame Boutique in Sikeston, Mo.

AARON EISENHAUER

“Grey’s Anatomy” is my favorite show and has changed me because I love how much those doctors care for their patients. It shows you can care for others in all kinds of ways.

TRINITEE “TEETEE” JOHNSON 53

flourish spring 2021 | cusp

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