Practice Script for Louie

Show Title: Louie Episode Title: The Zoo Client: HBO Writer: Shane Stricker Project: Television Script Estimated Length: 12 minutes

Visual

Shot

Audio

1.

Fade in on LOUIE seated and

DAUGHTER 1: Daddy, I wanna go!

DAUGHTER 1 standing in the kitchen.

LOUIE (calmly): Honey, that‟s just not going to happen.

DAUGHTER 1: I wanna go!

LOUIE: Honey…

DAUGHTER 1: I wanna go, I wanna go!

LOUIE: Your cereal‟s getting soggy.

CU on DAUGHTER 1.

DAUGHTER 1: It‟s not fair, I wanna go!

CU on LOUIE.

LOUIE (frustrated): We can‟t…

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Extreme CU on DAUGHTER 1.

DAUGHTER 1: I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go!

Extreme CU on LOUIE.

LOUIE (angry): You can‟t just do whatever you want.

Cut back to medium shot of LOUIE looking tentative and DAUGHTER 1

Silence.

about to cry.

DAUGHTER 2 walks into the kitchen

DAUGHTER 2: What‟s going on?

and notices the tension.

DAUGHTER 1‟s face crunches up, about to cry. LOUIE shakes his head.

LOUIE: No, not this time. You can cry all you want. It‟s not going to work.

DAUGHTER 1: (whimpers)

LOUIE seems less certain as

LOUIE: If you think you can just turn on the

DAUGHTER 1 whimpers.

waterworks every time you want something, you‟ve got another thing coming.

DAUGHTER 1: (breathes heavily)

DAUGHTER 2 reaches for her

DAUGHTER 2: She‟s gonna do it.

headphones.

LOUIE: Let her cry. What do I care?

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DAUGHTER 2 puts headphones over

DAUGHTER 2: This isn‟t going to be pretty.

her ears. She picks up her mp3 player and as she presses a song,

When DAUGHTER 1 opens her mouth,

DAUGHTER 1 opens her mouth to

natural sound is cut and replaced with

wail.

Tchaikovsky‟s The Waltz.

In slow motion and without sound,

Tchaikovsky‟s The Waltz (first 32 sec)

DAUGHTER 1 wails as tears drip down her cheeks. LOUIE claps his hands to his ears. DAUGHTER 1 shakes her head as she screams.

DAUGHTER 2 is watching with her headphones, nodding her head to the beat. At the first peak of The Waltz, a plate shatters and glass flies all over the kitchen. LOUIE opens his mouth in slow motion.

Sound cuts in, music cuts out.

LOUIE (roars): ALRIGHT!

DAUGHTER 1 stops crying.

DAUGHTER 1: We can go?

LOUIE looks exhausted, wipes the

LOUIE (groans): Yeah, fine. We can go.

sweat from his forehead.

Whatever. Just, shut up and get in the car.

DAUGHTER 1 is excited, jumps up

DAUGHTER 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

and down with a big smile and runs out of the kitchen.

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As LOUIE kneels over to clean up the broken glass, DAUGHTER 2 takes off her headphones.

DAUGHTER 2: You gave in.

LOUIE: If I didn‟t, one of our neighbors would have called the cops.

Phone rings twice.

LOUIE looks surprised for a moment, LOUIE: Don‟t answer it.

then groans.

DAUGHTER 2: So what did she want?

LOUIE: Guess.

DAUGHTER 2: The zoo?

LOUIE (sighs): The zoo.

(3:00) 2.

LOUIE intro video and credits

LOUIE theme song (50 sec) (3:50) 3.

LOUIE is doing stand-up in front of a

LOUIE: If you‟re a parent, you know. That ten

small, but lively audience at a comedy

seconds between getting your kids in the car

club.

and getting in the car yourself…

(4:00)

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LOUIE‟s dialogue breaks are filled

LOUIE: That slow walk from the back door to

with audience laughter.

the front door, that‟s the greatest ten seconds of your day. It‟s like ten, maybe twelve if you milk it, seconds of concentrated meditation.

For that tiny moment, everything is good and glorious and the world makes sense. Of course, you get back in the car and your life immediately falls apart again.

(4:28) 4.

LOUIE and DAUGHTER 1 leaving the house, walking through the lawn toward the car. DAUGHTER 1 is

LOUIE: Come on, get your shoes on.

running around in the grass in her bare feet, very excited.

DAUGHTER 1: Why?

LOUIE: You can‟t go to the zoo without shoes.

DAUGHTER 1: Why?

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LOUIE: Because you‟ll step in animal poop and get worms.

DAUGHTER 1: Why?

LOUIE (frustrated): Just… Get your shoes on DAUGHTER 1 runs inside to get her

or we‟re not going to the zoo.

shoes on.

DAUGHTER 2 walks past LOUIE

LOUIE (calling into the house): Alright, let‟s

wearing her headphones as he talks.

get going. We only have two hours, then I

She gets in the car.

have to be at work.

DAUGHTER 1 comes outside wearing

LOUIE (sighs): You need both shoes. Where‟s

one shoe.

your other shoe?

LOUIE enters the house and returns a

DAUGHTER 1: I dunno.

moment later carrying the other shoe.

LOUIE puts the second shoe on

LOUIE: You don‟t know? Well, what a

DAUGHTER 1‟s foot.

surprise, it‟s right here in the shoe closet.

LOUIE (exhausted): Now please get in the car.

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DAUGHTER 1: I think these shoes are too small.

LOUIE opens the car door and

LOUIE: Just get in the car.

DAUGHTER 1 hops in.

LOUIE shuts the door.

The shutting of the door echoes and all is silent except for gentle chimes and birds

CU on LOUIEâ€&#x;s face. He heaves a

chirping in the background.

massive sigh of relief. Cut to MS of LOUIE slumping, resting his weight on the car.

LOUIE staggers to the front of the car and rests his hand hesitantly on the door.

LS of LOUIE and the car. He opens

As soon as LOUIE opens the door, the sound

the door and gets in.

of DAUGHTER 1 and DAUGHTER 2 fighting is unleashed.

LOUIE: Hey, hey, stop it.

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LOUIE shuts the door.

As soon as LOUIE shuts the door, the quiet birds and chimes reappear.

After a moment, the car starts and

Then the sound of the engine.

drives away.

(6:00) 5.

Open with a montage of the zoo. Short

Natural ambiance of people and animals under

clip of monkeys playing behind the

a quiet portion of Tchaikovsky‟s The Waltz.

bars, penguins diving in the water, people gathering around the outside of the lion‟s cage… and end on a LS of the entrance with the zoo‟s name as people filter in and out.

LOUIE and his DAUGHTERS walk up

LOUIE: Alright, what do you girls want to see

to the entrance, becoming smaller in the

first?

shot as they enter the zoo.

DAUGHTER 1: The penguins, the penguins!

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6.

LOUIE and DAUGHTERS push through a small crowd gathered around the penguin habitat. DAUGHTER 1 leans over the rail excitedly.

DAUGHTER 1: Cuuuuuute.

LOUIE squints at a plaque with the

LOUIE (reading): King Penguins are the

penguin information.

second largest species of penguin in the world.

Their diet consists of…

DAUGHTER 2: What‟s the first?

LOUIE: What?

DAUGHTER 2 lifts her headphones off

DAUGHTER 2: What‟s the largest penguin

her ears slightly.

species?

LOUIE squints at the plaque.

LOUIE: Um… I don‟t know.

DAUGHTER 2 puts her headphones

LOUIE: Are your headphones really

back on.

necessary? Do you really need to wear those here?

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7.

DAUGHTER 2 shrugs.

LOUIE: Look at your sister. Look how excited she is. She doesn‟t need music to enjoy a trip to the zoo.

DAUGHTER 2 keeps listening to music, bobbing her head slightly.

When she notices that LOUIE is waiting for a response, she lifts the

DAUGHTER 2: What?

headphones slightly.

LOUIE: I said you should… could you please take your headphones off.

DAUGHTER 2: Why?

LOUIE: BecauseDAUGHTER 1 jumps up and down excitedly.

DAUGHTER 1: Daddy, look! That penguin is pooping!

A WOMAN and her TWO KIDS try to

LOUIE (to DAUGHTER 1): That‟s great

push in to see the penguins.

honey.

(7:35)

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LOUIE (to DAUGHTER 2): Because you‟re here at the zoo with your family. It‟s a-

The WOMAN puts her hands on her hips, clearly frustrated and unable to get around LOUIE.

WOMAN: How about letting someone else see the penguins sometime today.

LOUIE is surprised by the rudeness, but doesn‟t say anything to the

LOUIE (to DAUGHTER 1): Alright, honey,

WOMAN.

let‟s go see the lizards.

DAUGHTER 1: But daddy, look at the poop!

WOMAN and her TWO KIDS move

LOUIE: Yeah, yeah, I see the poop. I smell it

up to see the penguins as LOUIE and

too.

his DAUGHTERS move offscreen.

(7:55) 8.

LOUIE and DAUGHTERS are walking

LOUIE (to DAUGHTER 2): I just don‟t

past reptile exhibits. DAUGHTER 1

understand why you need to constantly be

leads, running up to each exhibit,

stimulating your brain with music. Look

putting her face on the glass and

around. You want stimulation? It‟s all over

running to the next exhibit.

the place.

(8:06)

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9.

LOUIE leans over to check one of the

LOUIE: Look at this. The Mexican-Bearded

reptile plaques.

Lizard. A specialized predator whose diet consists mostly of eggs. This is real world

LOUIE moves to the next plaque,

stuff you could be learning about. And how

keeping up with DAUGHTER 1.

about this one? The Gaboon Viper. Grows up to five feet long and has the highest venom yield of all the venomous snakes in the world.

I can‟t believe how much fascinating things you‟re missing because of those headphones.

Here‟s the Fox Snake. Harmless to humans, but often mistaken for the very venomous Massasauga Rattlesnake. This information could save your life.

DAUGHTER 2 notices that LOUIE has stopped talking. Lifts her headphones a

DAUGHTER 2: What?

little bit.

LOUIE (sighs): At least tell me you‟re not listening to some crappy new-age techno-rap.

DAUGHTER 2: The Allman Brothers.

LOUIE freezes.

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LOUIE: Which album?

DAUGHTER 2: Eat a Peach.

LOUIE nods and grins. He ruffles DAUGHTER 2‟s hair affectionately.

LOUIE: Good girl.

(9:00) 10.

EXTERIOR LS of LOUIE and

DAUGHTER 1: Daddy, let‟s go see the

DAUGHTERs walking into the

monkeys.

“Primate House.”

LOUIE: Alright.

Inside the “Primate House,” DAUGHTER 1 runs up to the glass of

DAUGHTER 1: Look how big they are.

one exhibit and LOUIE and DAUGHTER 2 follow. A small crowd

LOUIE: Yeah. These monkeys are called

of people are watching the monkeys on

Bornean Orangutans. They‟re an endangered

exhibit.

species. They eat a diverse diet of figs, eggs, leaves, and bark.

DAUGHTER 2: They get that fat eating leaves and bark?

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LOUIE and DAUGHTERS watch the

LOUIE: That‟s what the plaque says.

monkeys for a moment.

DAUGHTER 1: Daddy, look. The big one is chasing the little one around.

LOUIE leans over and looks at the plaque.

LOUIE: The male Orangutan can grow twice as big as the female. So the big one is

LOUIE looks up, suddenly concerned.

probably a male and the little one…

The crowd around them starts to

DAUGHTER 1: He caught him!

murmur. Mothers shake their heads with distaste.

LOUIE: Honey, we should go look at the lions now.

DAUGHTER 1: What‟s the big one doing?

LOUIE: Do you want to see some lions?

DAUGHTER 1 (loudly): Daddy, what‟s the big one doing to him?

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The crowd starts to disperse. LOUIE

LOUIE: Well, it‟s… it‟s not a „him.‟

tries to lead DAUGHTER 1 away, but she won‟t go.

DAUGHTER 1: What?

A MOTHER in the dispersing crowd

LOUIE (sighs): The little one is a „her.‟

stops to give LOUIE a dirty look.

DAUGHTER 1: The little one is a girl?

LOUIE: Um, yeah. Honey, don‟t you want to go see the lions now? I think your sister wants to…

DAUGHTER 1: Well, what is he doing to her?

MOTHER glares at LOUIE as he struggles with his answer. LOUIE

LOUIE: He‟s… um… they‟re…

notices he‟s being glared at.

LOUIE (to MOTHER): Do you mind?

MOTHER sneers and walks away.

DAUGHTER 1: How come everyone walked away? What is the big monkey doing to her?

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LOUIE: Well, honey… he‟s… I mean, they‟re…

LOUIE scratches his head and wipes sweat from his brow.

LOUIE: Wrestling. They‟re just wrestling.

DAUGHTER 2 grins.

DAUGHTER 1: Ooooooh.

LOUIE is finally able to lead

LOUIE sighs with relief.

DAUGHTER 1 away from the exhibit.

DAUGHTER 1: She‟s not very good.

LOUIE: No, honey, she‟s terrible.

(11:30) 11.

LS of zoo entrance. LOUIE and

DAUGHTER 1: Thanks for taking me to the

DAUGHTERS are exiting the zoo.

zoo, Daddy.

LOUIE: You‟re very welcome. But no more screaming, okay?

DAUGHTER 1: Okay.

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LOUIE and DAUGHTERS get in the

DAUGHTER 1: But what if I really, really

car.

need something?

LOUIE starts the car and pulls out of

LOUIE: No. No more screaming, period.

the parking spot and rolls forward.

LOUIE slams on the brake, the car

DAUGHTER 1 screams.

lurches.

LOUIE (frustrated): What did I just say!

DAUGHTER 1: I had to get it out of my system.

The car rolls forward again as LOUIE drives off screen.

LOUIE sighs.

(12:00)

Fade out.

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