Show Title: Louie Episode Title: The Zoo Client: HBO Writer: Shane Stricker Project: Television Script Estimated Length: 12 minutes
1. Fade in on LOUIE seated and
DAUGHTER 1: Daddy, I wanna go!
DAUGHTER 1 standing in the kitchen. LOUIE (calmly): Honey, that‟s just not going to happen.
DAUGHTER 1: I wanna go! LOUIE: Honey…
DAUGHTER 1: I wanna go, I wanna go! LOUIE: Your cereal‟s getting soggy.
CU on DAUGHTER 1.
DAUGHTER 1: It‟s not fair, I wanna go!
CU on LOUIE.
LOUIE (frustrated): We can‟t…
(0:25) Shane Stricker
Page 1 of 17
Extreme CU on DAUGHTER 1.
DAUGHTER 1: I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go!
Extreme CU on LOUIE.
LOUIE (angry): You can‟t just do whatever you want.
Cut back to medium shot of LOUIE looking tentative and DAUGHTER 1
about to cry.
DAUGHTER 2 walks into the kitchen
DAUGHTER 2: What‟s going on?
and notices the tension. DAUGHTER 1‟s face crunches up, about to cry. LOUIE shakes his head.
LOUIE: No, not this time. You can cry all you want. It‟s not going to work.
DAUGHTER 1: (whimpers)
LOUIE seems less certain as
LOUIE: If you think you can just turn on the
DAUGHTER 1 whimpers.
waterworks every time you want something, you‟ve got another thing coming.
DAUGHTER 1: (breathes heavily)
DAUGHTER 2 reaches for her
DAUGHTER 2: She‟s gonna do it.
headphones. LOUIE: Let her cry. What do I care?
(1:15) Shane Stricker
Page 2 of 17
DAUGHTER 2 puts headphones over
DAUGHTER 2: This isn‟t going to be pretty.
her ears. She picks up her mp3 player and as she presses a song,
When DAUGHTER 1 opens her mouth,
DAUGHTER 1 opens her mouth to
natural sound is cut and replaced with
Tchaikovsky‟s The Waltz.
In slow motion and without sound,
Tchaikovsky‟s The Waltz (first 32 sec)
DAUGHTER 1 wails as tears drip down her cheeks. LOUIE claps his hands to his ears. DAUGHTER 1 shakes her head as she screams. DAUGHTER 2 is watching with her headphones, nodding her head to the beat. At the first peak of The Waltz, a plate shatters and glass flies all over the kitchen. LOUIE opens his mouth in slow motion.
Sound cuts in, music cuts out.
LOUIE (roars): ALRIGHT!
DAUGHTER 1 stops crying.
DAUGHTER 1: We can go?
LOUIE looks exhausted, wipes the
LOUIE (groans): Yeah, fine. We can go.
sweat from his forehead.
Whatever. Just, shut up and get in the car.
DAUGHTER 1 is excited, jumps up
DAUGHTER 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
and down with a big smile and runs out of the kitchen.
(2:23) Shane Stricker
Page 3 of 17
As LOUIE kneels over to clean up the broken glass, DAUGHTER 2 takes off her headphones.
DAUGHTER 2: You gave in.
LOUIE: If I didn‟t, one of our neighbors would have called the cops.
Phone rings twice. LOUIE looks surprised for a moment, LOUIE: Don‟t answer it.
DAUGHTER 2: So what did she want?
DAUGHTER 2: The zoo?
LOUIE (sighs): The zoo. (3:00) 2. LOUIE intro video and credits
LOUIE theme song (50 sec) (3:50) 3.
LOUIE is doing stand-up in front of a
LOUIE: If you‟re a parent, you know. That ten
small, but lively audience at a comedy
seconds between getting your kids in the car
and getting in the car yourself… (4:00)
Page 4 of 17
LOUIE‟s dialogue breaks are filled
LOUIE: That slow walk from the back door to
with audience laughter.
the front door, that‟s the greatest ten seconds of your day. It‟s like ten, maybe twelve if you milk it, seconds of concentrated meditation. For that tiny moment, everything is good and glorious and the world makes sense. Of course, you get back in the car and your life immediately falls apart again. (4:28) 4.
LOUIE and DAUGHTER 1 leaving the house, walking through the lawn toward the car. DAUGHTER 1 is
LOUIE: Come on, get your shoes on.
running around in the grass in her bare feet, very excited.
DAUGHTER 1: Why?
LOUIE: You can‟t go to the zoo without shoes.
DAUGHTER 1: Why?
(4:38) Shane Stricker
Page 5 of 17
LOUIE: Because you‟ll step in animal poop and get worms.
DAUGHTER 1: Why?
LOUIE (frustrated): Just… Get your shoes on DAUGHTER 1 runs inside to get her
or we‟re not going to the zoo.
shoes on. DAUGHTER 2 walks past LOUIE
LOUIE (calling into the house): Alright, let‟s
wearing her headphones as he talks.
get going. We only have two hours, then I
She gets in the car.
have to be at work.
DAUGHTER 1 comes outside wearing
LOUIE (sighs): You need both shoes. Where‟s
your other shoe?
LOUIE enters the house and returns a
DAUGHTER 1: I dunno.
moment later carrying the other shoe. LOUIE puts the second shoe on
LOUIE: You don‟t know? Well, what a
DAUGHTER 1‟s foot.
surprise, it‟s right here in the shoe closet.
LOUIE (exhausted): Now please get in the car. (5:30) Shane Stricker
Page 6 of 17
DAUGHTER 1: I think these shoes are too small.
LOUIE opens the car door and
LOUIE: Just get in the car.
DAUGHTER 1 hops in. LOUIE shuts the door.
The shutting of the door echoes and all is silent except for gentle chimes and birds
CU on LOUIEâ€&#x;s face. He heaves a
chirping in the background.
massive sigh of relief. Cut to MS of LOUIE slumping, resting his weight on the car.
LOUIE staggers to the front of the car and rests his hand hesitantly on the door.
LS of LOUIE and the car. He opens
As soon as LOUIE opens the door, the sound
the door and gets in.
of DAUGHTER 1 and DAUGHTER 2 fighting is unleashed.
LOUIE: Hey, hey, stop it. (5:52) Shane Stricker
Page 7 of 17
LOUIE shuts the door.
As soon as LOUIE shuts the door, the quiet birds and chimes reappear.
After a moment, the car starts and
Then the sound of the engine.
drives away. (6:00) 5. Open with a montage of the zoo. Short
Natural ambiance of people and animals under
clip of monkeys playing behind the
a quiet portion of Tchaikovsky‟s The Waltz.
bars, penguins diving in the water, people gathering around the outside of the lion‟s cage… and end on a LS of the entrance with the zoo‟s name as people filter in and out.
LOUIE and his DAUGHTERS walk up
LOUIE: Alright, what do you girls want to see
to the entrance, becoming smaller in the
shot as they enter the zoo. DAUGHTER 1: The penguins, the penguins!
(6:30) Shane Stricker
Page 8 of 17
6. LOUIE and DAUGHTERS push through a small crowd gathered around the penguin habitat. DAUGHTER 1 leans over the rail excitedly.
DAUGHTER 1: Cuuuuuute.
LOUIE squints at a plaque with the
LOUIE (reading): King Penguins are the
second largest species of penguin in the world. Their diet consists of…
DAUGHTER 2: What‟s the first?
DAUGHTER 2 lifts her headphones off
DAUGHTER 2: What‟s the largest penguin
her ears slightly.
LOUIE squints at the plaque.
LOUIE: Um… I don‟t know.
DAUGHTER 2 puts her headphones
LOUIE: Are your headphones really
necessary? Do you really need to wear those here? (7:05)
Page 9 of 17
7. DAUGHTER 2 shrugs. LOUIE: Look at your sister. Look how excited she is. She doesn‟t need music to enjoy a trip to the zoo. DAUGHTER 2 keeps listening to music, bobbing her head slightly. When she notices that LOUIE is waiting for a response, she lifts the
DAUGHTER 2: What?
headphones slightly. LOUIE: I said you should… could you please take your headphones off.
DAUGHTER 2: Why?
LOUIE: BecauseDAUGHTER 1 jumps up and down excitedly.
DAUGHTER 1: Daddy, look! That penguin is pooping!
A WOMAN and her TWO KIDS try to
LOUIE (to DAUGHTER 1): That‟s great
push in to see the penguins.
Page 10 of 17
LOUIE (to DAUGHTER 2): Because you‟re here at the zoo with your family. It‟s a-
The WOMAN puts her hands on her hips, clearly frustrated and unable to get around LOUIE.
WOMAN: How about letting someone else see the penguins sometime today.
LOUIE is surprised by the rudeness, but doesn‟t say anything to the
LOUIE (to DAUGHTER 1): Alright, honey,
let‟s go see the lizards.
DAUGHTER 1: But daddy, look at the poop!
WOMAN and her TWO KIDS move
LOUIE: Yeah, yeah, I see the poop. I smell it
up to see the penguins as LOUIE and
his DAUGHTERS move offscreen. (7:55) 8. LOUIE and DAUGHTERS are walking
LOUIE (to DAUGHTER 2): I just don‟t
past reptile exhibits. DAUGHTER 1
understand why you need to constantly be
leads, running up to each exhibit,
stimulating your brain with music. Look
putting her face on the glass and
around. You want stimulation? It‟s all over
running to the next exhibit.
the place. (8:06)
Page 11 of 17
9. LOUIE leans over to check one of the
LOUIE: Look at this. The Mexican-Bearded
Lizard. A specialized predator whose diet consists mostly of eggs. This is real world
LOUIE moves to the next plaque,
stuff you could be learning about. And how
keeping up with DAUGHTER 1.
about this one? The Gaboon Viper. Grows up to five feet long and has the highest venom yield of all the venomous snakes in the world. I can‟t believe how much fascinating things you‟re missing because of those headphones. Here‟s the Fox Snake. Harmless to humans, but often mistaken for the very venomous Massasauga Rattlesnake. This information could save your life.
DAUGHTER 2 notices that LOUIE has stopped talking. Lifts her headphones a
DAUGHTER 2: What?
little bit. LOUIE (sighs): At least tell me you‟re not listening to some crappy new-age techno-rap.
DAUGHTER 2: The Allman Brothers. LOUIE freezes. (8:50) Shane Stricker
Page 12 of 17
LOUIE: Which album?
DAUGHTER 2: Eat a Peach. LOUIE nods and grins. He ruffles DAUGHTER 2‟s hair affectionately.
LOUIE: Good girl. (9:00) 10.
EXTERIOR LS of LOUIE and
DAUGHTER 1: Daddy, let‟s go see the
DAUGHTERs walking into the
“Primate House.” LOUIE: Alright. Inside the “Primate House,” DAUGHTER 1 runs up to the glass of
DAUGHTER 1: Look how big they are.
one exhibit and LOUIE and DAUGHTER 2 follow. A small crowd
LOUIE: Yeah. These monkeys are called
of people are watching the monkeys on
Bornean Orangutans. They‟re an endangered
species. They eat a diverse diet of figs, eggs, leaves, and bark.
DAUGHTER 2: They get that fat eating leaves and bark? (9:30) Shane Stricker
Page 13 of 17
LOUIE and DAUGHTERS watch the
LOUIE: That‟s what the plaque says.
monkeys for a moment. DAUGHTER 1: Daddy, look. The big one is chasing the little one around. LOUIE leans over and looks at the plaque.
LOUIE: The male Orangutan can grow twice as big as the female. So the big one is
LOUIE looks up, suddenly concerned.
probably a male and the little one…
The crowd around them starts to
DAUGHTER 1: He caught him!
murmur. Mothers shake their heads with distaste.
LOUIE: Honey, we should go look at the lions now.
DAUGHTER 1: What‟s the big one doing?
LOUIE: Do you want to see some lions?
DAUGHTER 1 (loudly): Daddy, what‟s the big one doing to him?
(10:28) Shane Stricker
Page 14 of 17
The crowd starts to disperse. LOUIE
LOUIE: Well, it‟s… it‟s not a „him.‟
tries to lead DAUGHTER 1 away, but she won‟t go.
DAUGHTER 1: What?
A MOTHER in the dispersing crowd
LOUIE (sighs): The little one is a „her.‟
stops to give LOUIE a dirty look. DAUGHTER 1: The little one is a girl?
LOUIE: Um, yeah. Honey, don‟t you want to go see the lions now? I think your sister wants to…
DAUGHTER 1: Well, what is he doing to her? MOTHER glares at LOUIE as he struggles with his answer. LOUIE
LOUIE: He‟s… um… they‟re…
notices he‟s being glared at. LOUIE (to MOTHER): Do you mind? MOTHER sneers and walks away. DAUGHTER 1: How come everyone walked away? What is the big monkey doing to her?
(11:05) Shane Stricker
Page 15 of 17
LOUIE: Well, honey… he‟s… I mean, they‟re…
LOUIE scratches his head and wipes sweat from his brow.
LOUIE: Wrestling. They‟re just wrestling. DAUGHTER 2 grins. DAUGHTER 1: Ooooooh.
LOUIE is finally able to lead
LOUIE sighs with relief.
DAUGHTER 1 away from the exhibit. DAUGHTER 1: She‟s not very good.
LOUIE: No, honey, she‟s terrible. (11:30) 11. LS of zoo entrance. LOUIE and
DAUGHTER 1: Thanks for taking me to the
DAUGHTERS are exiting the zoo.
LOUIE: You‟re very welcome. But no more screaming, okay?
DAUGHTER 1: Okay. (11:40) Shane Stricker
Page 16 of 17
LOUIE and DAUGHTERS get in the
DAUGHTER 1: But what if I really, really
LOUIE starts the car and pulls out of
LOUIE: No. No more screaming, period.
the parking spot and rolls forward. LOUIE slams on the brake, the car
DAUGHTER 1 screams.
lurches. LOUIE (frustrated): What did I just say!
DAUGHTER 1: I had to get it out of my system. The car rolls forward again as LOUIE drives off screen.
LOUIE sighs. (12:00)
Page 17 of 17