San Francisco Bay Times - May 28, 2015

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Riding to End AIDS AIDS/LifeCycle 2015

PHOTO BY GEORG LESTER PHOTOGRAPHY

See Special Section - Pages 3-6

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AIDS/LifeCycle

AIDS/LifeCycle: Adventure, Community, and Critical Funding for Local HIV Prevention & Care Photos courtesy of AIDS/LifeCycle

By Greg Sroda

Of the 1.1 million people living with HIV in the United States, one in 10 live in California, and over five thousand people will become newly infected with HIV this year in our state alone. In fact, California has the most new HIV infections of any state in the country. The fight against AIDS has changed so much over the last thirty years, but it’s not over.

On Sunday, May 31, more than 3,200 people from 46 states, Washington, D.C. and 21 countries will embark on a life-changing journey. It’s the 14th annual AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile, 7-day bike ride that raises awareness and critical funding for the HIV prevention and care services of San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the Los Angeles LGBT Center.

Every year, people from different backgrounds, regions, and countries—of different ages, body types, and levels of fitness—come together to form a special community. There’s something about this experience that forms a unique bond between strangers who become friends. AIDS/LifeCycle is the story of people coming together to make a difference in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Some come to A IDS/ LifeCycle for the physic a l ch a l lenge or t he experience of riding a bike across some of the most gorgeous parts of the Golden State. Others participate in honor of a friend they lost to AIDS, or because they themselves are living with HIV. Everyone comes for a different reason, but by the end of the week, we are all part of the same community doing something amazing to raise a lot of money and a lot of awareness. Last year, AIDS/LifeCycle participants raised over $15.5

Thanks to advancements in science, medicine, education and advocacy, someone diagnosed with HIV today has the chance to live a healthy, productive life with access to treatment and care. That’s why organizations like the Los Angeles LGBT Center and San Francisco AIDS Foundation are so critically important.

Greg Sroda

million, making the event the largest, single-event fundraiser for HIV/ AIDS in the world.

In the days before AIDS/LifeCycle begins, 2,500 cyclists and 700 volunteer “Roadies” arrive in San Francisco geared up for the experience of a lifetime. Roadies dedicate their week to supporting the ride—they’re the ones who make everything possible. As you can imagine, moving 3,200 people 545 miles across California is no small feat. Because of these dedicated, passionate, and spectacular volunteers, this event is able to keep costs low—which means more funding for the cause.

And Roadies certainly have their work cut out for them. Over the course of seven days, AIDS/LifeCycle participants will consume 125 cases of bananas, 2.2 tons of oatmeal, 660 gallons of milk, 3.1 tons of vegetables, and 1,200 pounds of pasta.

Each night, participants stop at a designated campsite in cities along the route: Santa Cruz, King City, Paso

AIDS/LifeCycle changes people’s lives. Not only does the experience change the lives of our participants, but by making HIV prevention and care programs possible, AIDS/LifeCycle participants save the lives of thousands more.

This event is much more than a bike ride. It’s a movement. It’s a movement that will not stop until HIV/AIDS is a thing of the past. And it’s something everyone should experience at least once.

AIDS/LifeCycle 2015 starts in San Francisco on May 31 and ends in Los Angeles on June 6. Experience the event virtually at http://bit.ly/ alc15ete AIDS/LifeCycle 2016 will take place from June 5–11, 2016. Find out more at aidslifecycle.org

Robles, Santa Maria, Lompoc, and Ventura. In each community, local residents come out to cheer from the roadside with banners and costumes that broadcast their support.

The views are breathtaking. The route is both f lat and hilly, weaving

in and out of valleys and inlets along coastal roads. Participants, on average, train for more than six months before the event, and each day on AIDS/LifeCycle is physically rigorous with emotional, maybe even spiritual, moments.

Greg Sroda is senior director of AIDS/ LifeCycle. He’s also a long-time participant having completed five rides as a cyclist and eight rides as the “roadie” captain for Rest Stop 4. This is his fourth year leading the event. AIDS/LifeCycle is produced by San Francisco AIDS Foundation and Los Angeles LGBT Center. All proceeds benefit the HIV prevention, support, and care services of the two agencies.

Riders arriving at San Gregorio State Beach Ellen welcomes riders to Los Angeles.

Elite fundraiser Traci Dinwiddie BAY T IM ES M AY 28, 2015

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AIDS/LifeCycle Photos courtesy of AIDS LifeCycle

SF

Members of Team Magnet Photo by Georg Lester Photography

Lending a helping hand up “Quadbuster” New Bear Republic Team Photo courtesy of Scott Walton

“Otter Pop Stop” for water and a dance party, Soledad, CA

Photo by Christopher Stewart Photography

Thumbs-up on Day 4 Photo by Christopher Stewart Photography NCLR executive director Kate Kendell at the halfway point to LA

Photo by Christopher Stewart Photography

Roadies Rock! Photo by Georg Lester Photography

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AIDS/LifeCycle

Stopping for fried artichokes at Pezzini Farms, Castroville, CA Photo by Christopher Stewart Photography

Members of the Positive Pedalers at Opening Ceremonies, Cow Palace, San Bruno, CA Photo by Georg Lester Photography

Roadies welcome Riders to Rest Stop 2

Photo courtesy of Scott Walton

Photo by Christopher Stewart Photography

Yoga on the beach

Team spirit on “Red Dress Day” Photo by Georg Lester Photography

SF LA Crossing the finish line in Los Angeles Photo by Georg Lester Photography

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AIDS/LifeCycle

Gearing Up for Our Third AIDS/LifeCycle Together

By Ellen Haller, MD, and Joanne Engel, MD, PhD (Editor’s Note: UCSF will be well represented again at this year’s AIDS/ LifeCycle, with many members having done the ride multiple times. Two such riders are Dr. Ellen Haller and her wife Dr. Joanne Engel. Here, they share their thoughts on the eve of their third AIDS/LifeCycle together.)

Joanne Engel: When I f irst signed up to ride my first AIDS/LifeCyle in 2012, I never thought in my wildest dreams that I’d be doing it for a fourth year in a row, that I would have raised over $30,000 to help provide free care and education for the AIDS community, or that my wonderful spouse would be signing up for a third year.

Why do I continue? Because 1 in 5 individuals in the U.S. infected with HIV don’t know that they are infected. Because over 1.1 million people in the U.S. are living with HIV. Because there are 50,000 new infections in the U.S. each year. Because only 1 in 4 individuals with HIV are taking antiretroviral therapy regularly and have their infection under control. Because

Ellen Haller and Joanne Engel worldwide, the statistics are even much more shocking. Because I am an Infectious Disease Physician who has “grown up” with the AIDS epidemic. Oh, and because I love biking!

It is an amazing and moving experience and a privilege to be a part of and to be a supporter of the AIDS community...We’ll keep riding until AIDS and HIV are a thing of the past.

Ellen Haller: Simply put, the AIDS/LifeCycle is an amazing event! Well over 2000 riders take off from San Francisco early

Joanne, Ellen and their son Danny at Twin Peaks

You’re invited!

Saturday, June 13, 4-7pm San Francisco LGBT Community Center 1800 Market Street, San Francisco

PHOTO BY IRENE YOUNG

Featuring Special Guest Legendary Singer/ Songwriter Cris Williamson “Kiss for the Bay Times” Photo Exhibit Poetry by Kit Kennedy RSVP by e-mail to Publisher@sfbaytimes.com or call 415-601-2113

Ellen and Joanne with members of Team UCSF on a Sunday AM in June and ride an average of 80 miles per day for the next 7 days, arriving in Los Angeles the following Saturday. It’s a personal challenge physically and emotionally.

It’s a beautiful tour of California. It’s a wonderful community of thousands of dedicated people, both riders and roadies, all committed to eradicating AIDS and to supporting those currently living with HIV and AIDS. And, it’s a sobering reminder that AIDS is still here.

Thanks to the incredibly generous support of friends and family, I raised over $5000 for my 2014 ride, and that amount helped contribute to the astounding, record-breaking total for the whole AIDS/LifeCycle of over $15 million! Simply breath-taking and life-changing. This money supports the very important work of the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the L.A. LGBT Center; both of these agencies provide medical and mental health care free of charge to people with HIV/AIDS (along with other programs aimed at prevention and support), and their primary source of funding is this ride.

Back in 2012, when my darlin’ spouse registered for her first ALC ride, I thought she was nuts, but somehow I found myself signing up for 2013 while keeping her company at her orientation day. Riding in 2013 and 2014 was so very thrilling for me! I learned a ton about myself, met incredibly interesting people, and wore a dress (red, of course) for the first time in many, many years. Unfortunately, because of feeling ill, I had to skip riding one day in 2013 and then I needed to skip one afternoon in 2014.

So, in 2015, who knows what’ll happen...my goal is to ride all of it. Yep, all 545 miles.

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Joanne and Ellen with NCLR’s Kate Kendell

I ride for the patients I’ve treated starting back in the early 1980s, first at UCLA as a med student, and then at UCSF. I ride for Danny’s uncle, Roy Kurokawa (Danny is Engel and Haller’s son). I ride for the many directly impacted by HIV/AIDS. I ride for all the people who have died from AIDS. And, I ride for my cousin, Bruce Haller.

I want to do my part to see an end to HIV/AIDS. Ellen Haller and her wife Joanne Engel are preparing for their third AIDS/LifeCycle together. Haller is a Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at UCSF. Engel is Chief of UCSF’s Division of Infectious Diseases.

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Ellen celebrating

Ellen and Joanne hoisting their bikes

Bon Voyage, riders!

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In the News

By Dennis McMillan Save the Mission Protest Brings Out Hundreds A diverse crowd of protesters, including many queer activists, assembled in City Hall for the peaceful demonstration, “No Monsters in the Mission-Stop the Evictions!” Supervisors David Campos, John Avalos and Jane Kim participated with hundreds of demonstrators.

Harvey Milk’s Stance on Affordable Housing Still Rings True for Many On last Friday’s Harvey Milk Day, Milk’s words in the late ‘70s about luxury condos are still relevant today for many San Franciscans.

He said, “As soon as you destroy the middle economic class and drive them out of The City, you’re driving out the incentive for education, to get ahead, and The City becomes awful.” He added, “High rise - I’m saying that’s the wrong way. Speculation…that’s going to crunch the economy very badly…is not healthy; it is not good.

Restoration is good. Speculation is offensive.” sfexaminer.com Lavender Seniors Releases First Training Film of Its Kind The Lavender Seniors of the East Bay has written and directed a short, dynamic, trailblazing teaching film entitled Creating a Welcoming Healthcare Practice for LGBT Seniors. It teaches basic skills both licensed and non-licensed professionals can use to better understand the needs of LGBT seniors, practice more effective communication, and create a clinical environment that communicates a sense of safety and welcome. udemy.com/creating-a-healthcarepractice-welcoming-to-lgbt-seniors

37th Annual Pride/ Panama-Pacific Centennial Concert

Palace of Fine Arts Theatre Saturday, June 20, 2015

5 pm Film Premiere When the World Came to San Francisco

by R. Christian Anderson

7:15 pm Book Talk San Francisco’s Jewel City

by Laura Ackley 8 pm Concert

$25 for all 3 events

Featuring San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco and Special Guests

Tickets: sfprideconcert.org Media Sponsors

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Ireland Congratulated by MEUSA Marriage Equality Marriage Equality USA is congratulating the people of Ireland for exercising their Constitutional right and for recently voting “yes” for equality. MEUSA says that this campaign for marriage equality has been transformative. It has given LGBT people in Ireland permission to love themselves and come out more comfortably and completely, some for the first time ever. marriageequality.org New Gallery to Open in Castro District Next door to Mollie Stone’s in the Castro, Spark Arts will be opening in the space formerly occupied by Adhikara Yoga at 4229 18th Street.

The brainchild of owners Angie Sticher and Aviva Kanoff, the new gallery will offer classes in art and dance, and also serve as a space for gallery shows and speakers. Spark aims to open on June 1. hoodline.com Neighborhood Boot Camp for Tenants’ Rights Offered The San Francisco Tenants Union is presenting a Tenants’ Rights Boot Camp, the first of its kind in a series of 10 citywide workshops meant to empower renters to stand up to speculators and prevent displacement. The next session is scheduled for June 10 in the Lower

Haight at Bean There Cafe. tenantbootcamp.org ACLU Argues Against DHS Blood Ban Deferral for Gay and Bisexual Men ACLU opposes the Department of Health and Human Services publishing a draft on their proposal to move from a lifetime blood donation ban for all gay and bisexual men to a one-year deferral period.

When the Food and Drug Administration first announced the proposal, the ACLU concluded that the deferral would continue to function as a de facto lifetime ban, and that criteria for determining blood donor eligibility should be based on science, not stereotypes. aclu.org ABC to Air New ChristianProtested Dan Savage Sitcom Despite the efforts of conservative Christian organizations and the anti-gay hate group Family Research Council (FRC), ABC has announced that it is picking up The Real O’Neals, the Dan Savageinspired comedy about a Catholic family whose gay teenage son comes out. FRC, One Million Moms (OMM) and the conservative Media Research Center (MRC) had their members sign petitions, make 4,000 phone calls and send 21,000 postcards protesting the sitcom demanding that ABC dump the project. Refusing to give in to homophobia, ABC plans to air the series as part of its new line up. mediaite.com Police Commission VP Turman Reappointed Police Commissioner Julius Turman was unanimously reappointed by the Board of Supervisors to serve as vice president for his fourth year. Supervisor David Campos noted Turman is an openly gay black man, has the ability to listen to both sides, and will push for more transparency and accountability, which Campos said is badly needed. sfexaminer.com California’s Bathroom-Bounty Ballot Initiative Proposed A California ballot initiative was recently proposed that would require folks to prove their gender before using a restroom, and would provide cash rewards for reporting people who don’t comply with gender stereotypes. Many LGBT activists believe that the initiative is unconstitutional and unenforceable, and clearly targets transgender and gender nonconforming people. However, Transgender Law Center points out, anyone could be singled out, and therefore everyone would be at risk for harassment and bullying. transgenderlawcenter.org San Francisco Gay Men Spend More than Straights on Dates A new study reveals many gay bachelors are paying considerably more than straight men do for first

dates. The popular dating site, WhatsYourPrice.com, pulled member data to determine just how much single gay men are willing to spend on a shot at love. According to the study, gay men in San Francisco are the tenth most generous in the nation, offering $202 on average for a first date, nearly two times more than their straight counterparts. infostreamgroup.com EQCA Reacts to Call to End Ban on Gay Scout Leaders In response to a call by Boy Scouts of America President Robert Gates for the organization to end its ban on gay adult scout leaders, Equality California Executive Director Rick Zbur issued the following statement: “Mr. Gates today recognized a simple truth: that BSA’s discriminatory ban on gay men as scout leaders is out of step with public opinion and unlikely to withstand further legal challenges.

Gay men have always been a part of scouting, both as scouts and as adult leaders, whether they’ve been open about it or not.” eqca.org Transgender Teen Comes Out in Emotional Ceremony in El Cerrito In front of his friends, teachers, parents and sisters, Tom, a transgender student, publicly came out at Tehiyah Day School in El Cerrito as a boy. He received his new name, Tom Chai Sosnik Tom meaning “innocent” in Hebrew and Chai meaning “life.”

Since the ceremony, his story has gone viral. A YouTube video of his speech, tinyurl.com/youtube-tomsosnik-speech, has been viewed more than 83,000 times. jweekly.com Sam Smith to Create Foundation for Gays Four-time Grammy Award winning singer Sam Smith said he’d like to become a voice for gay youth in difficulty around the world, and has created a foundation involving “money going to gay guys who are struggling to come out in different countries.”

He added that he enjoys the idea that there may be homophobic men who buy his music and have no clue he’s gay. edgemedianetwork.com Mayor Lee Announces New Rush Hour Congestion Strategy Mayor Ed Lee has announced the Rush Hour Congestion Strategy to minimize congestion and maximize reliability for drivers and transit riders. The multimodal strategy focuses on four areas of targeted intervention – construction projects, double parking, delivery trucks and Don’t Block the Box – during the rush hour commutes on major transit and traffic arteries.

The new congestion initiatives will focus on better enforcement and smarter deployment to hopefully ensure that all modes of transportation can move safely, smoothly and predictably throughout the City. sfgov.org

BAY T IM ES M AY 28, 2015

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Speaking Out for Civil Rights of our friends.” This is why I had to join Assemblymember Kevin Mullin (D-San Mateo) as an author of the following resolution: The text of ACR 67 reads, “the Legislature stands in moral and legal objection to the ballot measure proposing to enact the Sodomite Suppression Act, and to any other ballot measure that seeks to inflict harm on innocent persons or diminish current civil rights protections.”

presented by Assemblymember Phil Ting Californians have adopted laws by ballot initiative for over a hundred years.

The people have this power in order to hold state leaders accountable and to enact laws elected officials are incapable or unwilling to create. But what are lawmakers to do when an initiative is so contrary to the principles they are elected to uphold? My colleagues and I now face this question and some of us have decided to speak out.

THE SING-ALONG JUNE 26, 8 P.M. JUNE 27, 3 P.M. JUNE 27, 8 P.M. NOURSE THEATER

with guest artist BREANNA SINCLAIRÉ

Introduced by eight Bay Area lawmakers, including myself, Assembly Concurrent Resolution (ACR) 67 condemns the so-called Sodomite Suppression Act. By amending the Penal Code, the Act would authorize abhorrent methods to punish the LGBT community and its allies.

If passed, it would require that all LGBT Californians “be put to death by bullets to the head or by any other convenient method.” Members of the LGBT community would be prohibited from serving in public office or receiving any public service. And, anyone speaking out for equality would be fined, imprisoned, or expelled from the state.

Rooted in intimidation and suppression, the Act is not simply illegal.

Enlisting the general public in the holocaust of any minority group entitled to equal rights is not a choice to make in a civilized society like ours that values diversity and equality.

Dr. Martin Luther King famously said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence

Although our Attorney General is rightly seeking to halt the Act from moving forward, it is not clear that effort will be successful. If the court decides that the proposed initiative shall move forward unhindered as protected free speech, then it will be circulated for voter signatures—the next step to qualify for the ballot.

As we await the court’s ruling, we may take some small comfort from numbers that illustrate the challenging road to turn an idea into a ballot measure into a law. As a matter of procedure, it now takes 365,880 signatures to qualify an initiative for the ballot, and I cannot fathom that many California voters want to allow a vote on this abomination. Also, according to our Secretary of State, some 1,828 initiatives have been circulated for voter signatures since 1912. Of these, 363 qualified for the ballot and 123 were approved by the voters.

Given its defiance of basic standards of decency, I believe the Act is destined to fail one way or another. But confidence in this outcome is not enough. The proposal cannot be dismissed as crazy. Its very existence demeans the dignity of our democracy and our shared humanity.

As Californians confront this initiative and its message of hate, ACR 67 is a chance for all lawmakers to take a stand and speak out. I hope every lawmaker supports it.

Phil Ting represents the 19th Assembly District, which includes the Westside of San Francisco as well as the cities of Broadmoor, Colma and Daly City.

Round About Cybercenter Reopening Photos by Rink

The San Francisco LGBT Community Center’s Rebecca Rolfe welcomed guests and volunteers to the re-opening on May 13 of The Center’s Cybercenter refurbished with all new Apple computers. The Cybercenter is funded by the David Bohnett Foundation in honor of Bayard Rustin.

TICKETS AT SFGMC.ORG OR (415) 392-4400 SEASON 37 IS SPONSORED BY

Bohnett Foundation’s Paul Moore, Cybercenter volunteer Shah Seidz, Rolfe and The Center’s Emilia Quinones

THE OFFICIAL AIRLINE OF SFGMC

WITH ADDITIONAL SUPPORT FROM

The Center’s Clair Farley and SF Pride’s Lucky Guitierrez 10

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Chrisley Jimenez and The Center’s Gien Gip

See Our Progress

Michael Kaufmann Business Analyst

“

casTro residenT

I work every day to help businesses and residents save. I’m proud to work at a company like PG&e, which invests so much into our local communities and is committed to expanding California’s economic prosperity.

”

At PG&E, our customers are our neighbors. The communities we serve as PG&E employees are where we live and work too.

That’s why we’re investing $5 billion this year to enhance pipeline safety and strengthen our gas and electric infrastructure across northern and central California. It’s why we’re helping people and businesses gain energy efficiencies to help reduce their bills. It’s why we’re focused on developing the next generation of clean, renewable energy systems.

Together, we are working to enhance pipeline safety and strengthen our gas and electric infrastructure—for your family and ours.

Together, Building a Better California PGE_10.25x16_BayTimes_Michael_0430.indd 1

“PG&E” refers to Pacific Gas and Electric Company, a subsidiary of PG&E Corporation. ©2015 Pacific Gas and Electric Company. All rights reserved. Paid for by PG&E shareholders. All facts 2013/2014 unless otherwise noted.

in the Bay Area

See The FACTS IN The BAy AreA Replaced more than 30 miles of gas transmission pipeline Invested more than $2.1 billion into electrical improvements Connected more than 65,000 rooftop solar installations

pge.com/SeeOurProgress BAY T IM ES M AY 28, 2015

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Adult Protective Services - An Integral Part of the LGBT Community’s Safety Net

Aging in Community Jill Nielsen

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The overarching mission of the Adult Protective Services (APS) program in San Francisco is to protect elders and adults with disabilities from abuse, neglect, exploitation, and self-neglect.

APS strives to help adults stay as independent as possible. Respect for the right of self-determination is a fundamental value that guides APS workers as they assist their clients.

“But what do APS workers actually do?” This is a question that I have been asked countless times by social workers, policy makers, doctors, and community members alike. Since 2003, I have had the privilege of working with APS— first as a frontline worker, then as supervisor, and now as the director of San Francisco’s program. Although I know the APS program inside and out, I am acutely aware that the program remains a mystery to most.

This article is intended to shed light on the dynamic and multi-faceted role that APS workers carry out every day, as an integral part of your community’s safety net.

Social Workers APS is a program made up of social workers who are passionate about helping their clients live free from abuse. In order to do this, they use a person-centered approach to assess their client’s needs and to identify strengths that will assist them to solve complex problems.

APS workers collaborate with partners, families, and their support system. This

June 12 Is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day In recognition of World Elder Abuse Day, the Department of Aging and Adult Services will present the award-winning documentary “Alive Inside” at 1:00pm on June 12 at the San Francisco Main Library. Light refreshments will be served prior to the screening, and the film will be followed by an interactive Skype Q&A with the film’s director, Michael Rosado-Bennett.

To register for this exciting, free event, please email Herschell Larrick at herschell.larrick@sfgov. org or call 415-355-3656.

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might involve running a family meeting, educating a spouse or partner about dementia, or coordinating a care plan among friends.

APS workers use their strong advocacy skills where it will assist their clients to remain independent. This might mean speaking to a landlord on behalf of a client that is facing eviction, or brokering for vital services on behalf of a client.

As social workers, APS workers encourage their clients to make decisions that will benefit their well being and maximize their independence. But as social workers, APS workers recognize the inherent right that adults have for autonomy.

This may mean that an APS worker will respect a client’s right not to pursue recommended services, and the right to continue to engage in behaviors that might be considered risky.

Investigators APS workers are also investigators.

They interview clients, caregivers, and loved ones, as well as scammers and perpetrators, with the goal of fully understanding complex situations and evaluating allegations of abuse.

APS workers are charged with the role of protecting vulnerable adults who may be experiencing abuse. As such, APS workers conduct unannounced visits that will provide them with an objective view of the client’s circumstances.

When it becomes apparent that a crime has occurred, APS workers collaborate with law enforcement to protect their clients. APS workers advocate with SFPD and the District Attorney’s Office to encourage prosecutions when crimes have been committed against APS clients.

24-Hour Cycle San Francisco’s Adult Protective Services program operates on a 24-hour cycle. Throughout the night, an APS worker and an APS Supervisor are responding to reports of abuse that come in through the emergency hotline.

If a call is received in the middle of the night that suggests that an elder or adult with disabilities is in imminent danger, the on-call APS worker will “roll-out” anywhere in the city to

respond to the abuse situation. Three on-call workers share this responsibility throughout the weekend.

Diversity As you might suspect, APS workers in San Francisco are representative of the city’s vibrant diversity. They speak 12 different languages and come from a variety of continents. APS workers are sensitive to the needs of individuals of all sexual orientations, and many selfidentify with the LGBT community.

Prevention APS workers come across tragic situations all too often. Although preventing abuse from occurring is a goal, it seems that more often than not, cases are referred to APS when it is almost too late. Reporting concerns to APS early on can save lives.

Building bridges and increasing trust are essential for preventing abuse. APS relies on neighbors, friends, and family, as well as those professionals that are considered to be mandated reporters, to call-in and report suspected abuse, and to partner around intervention.

In San Francisco, the APS program is part of the Human Services Agency’s Department of Aging and Adult Services. To report suspected abuse in San Francisco, you can call the 24-hour hotline at 415-355-6700. Caring professionals will be standing by ready to assist.

Jill Nielsen is the Program Director for the City and County of San Francisco’s Adult Protective Services (APS) program. APS is part of the city’s Department of Aging and Adult Services.

Previously she worked as an APS Supervisor in Alameda County, where she also spent four years as an APS field worker. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

Dr. Marcy Adelman oversees the Aging in Community column. For her summary of current LGBT senior challenges and opportunities, please go to: sf baytimes.com/challenges-andopportunties

Round About - Frameline Film Festival Preview

Photos by Rink

The Frameline LGBT Film Festival’s pre-festival activities kicked off on May 18 with a press conference at the Oasis Club and a preview screening of the controversial opening night feature I Am Michael on May 19 at the Castro Theatre. Tickets are on sale now at the Frameline ticket booth at the HRC store on Castro Street.

Filmmakers Travis Mathews (In Their Room) and Cheryl Dunyae (Watermelon Women)

Frameline’s Desiree Buford and Francis Wallace with publicist Charles Zukow

Frameline’s Kevin Schaub

CAAMFEST’s Debbie Ng and Masashi Niwano with Frameline’s Desiree Buford

Adrianne Chu at Frameline’s ticket booth at the HRC store.

Filmmakers Bill Weber (We Were Here) and Jennifer Kroot (I Am Kuchar) with Frameline’s Peter Stein

Krista Sansky of Dolores Park Cafe

Publicist Karen Larsen and her colleagues Curran Nault, Vince Johnson and Amy McKenzie

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The Anticipation Builds showed that “liberty and…equality are intertwined…”

Marriage Equality Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, Marriage Equality USA As the day draws near for the Supreme Court to issue its decision in the marriage equality cases, the urge to decipher any clue as to what the Court will decide heightens. Last week, The New York Times reported that as Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg recently pronounced two gay men married “by the powers vested in her by the Constitution” at a swank D.C. wedding, she did it “[w]ith a sly look and special emphasis on the word ‘Constitution.’” The newspaper also reported that the wedding guests’ wildly enthusiastic response seemed to have “delighted” the Justice. The New York Times’ speculation that Ginsburg’s intonation and reaction may be a “hint” of what the Supreme Court will decide set the news world abuzz.

Wednesdays: what’s for dinner? $10 DINNER

The things the Justices said during the Supreme Court’s late April oral argument in the marriage equality cases have also been ripe for speculation. Several of the Justices upon whom we are relying asked questions or made statements that most observers have interpreted as favorable to marriage equality. For instance, Justice Kagan seemed to indicate that she believed the current cases were “exactly what” the Supreme Court’s landmark decision, Loving v. Virginia, which struck down all state bans on interracial couples marrying, was about. In Loving, the Court held that such marriage exclusions violate Americans’ fundamental right to marry and the guarantees of equality that the U.S. Constitution provides. Justice Kagan described how Loving

Weddings Howard Steiermann

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Much attention focuses on Justice Kennedy, who is considered the “swing” vote on the Court in many cases and has written all three of

anniversary, and Pride Month are just around the corner. The birthday is not mine, but my boyfriend’s. The first anniversary is ours (we met last year at a Frameline screening during Pride). And June is packed with activities, parties, and movies celebrating Pride.

Michael & Wendy invite you to come for dinner at Sweet Inspiration

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Justice Ginsburg said favorable things as well. She recognized how the evolution of marriage under the law from “a relationship of a dominant male to a subordinate female” to an “egalitarian” institution made it something that samesex couples would seek to participate in. She also seemed to reject opponents’ argument that same-sex couples’ marrying would somehow harm heterosexuals’ marriages, noting that the freedom to marry for same-sex couples would not “tak[e] away anything from heterosexual couples.” Justice Kagan appeared skeptical of similar arguments from opponents, noting that some people find it “hard to see how permitting same-sex marriage discourages people from being bonded with their biological children.” Justice Breyer asked opponents’ attorney for “empirical” evidence of such a connection, none of which was availing.

Soon thereafter, Justice Kagan told opponents’ counsel that he found his reasoning “inexplicable.”

However, Justice Kennedy also stated that he thought “the whole purpose of marriage” was to bestow dignity on the couple and that same-sex couples seek the same “ennoblement” that other married couples have. In questioning opponents’ counsel, Kennedy recognized same-sex couples’ argument that they seek marriage “in order to show that we, too, have a dignity that can be fulfilled.” Kennedy also noted that approximately the same amount of time has elapsed between the Supreme Court’s landmark LGBT rights decision in Lawrence and the current cases as had elapsed between Brown v. Board of Education and Loving, two of the Court’s landmark race discrimination cases.

Justice Kennedy’s references to the importance of the dignity that marriage confers are heartening. Dignity was central to Justice Kennedy’s opinion in United States v. Windsor, striking down section 3 of DOMA. He emphasized that the State of New York’s decision to end the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage ref lected the state’s decision to “protect” same-sex couples “in personhood and dignity.” Justice Kennedy wrote that “essence” of DOMA was “interference with the equal dignity of same-sex marriages” and that the “injury and indignity” that DOMA inf licted on married same-sex couples was “a deprivation of an essential part of the liberty protected” by the Constitution. He stated that DOMA “tells those couples, and all the world, that their otherwise valid marriages are unworthy of federal recognition,” thereby “plac[ing] same-sex couples (continued on page 26)

Marking Time with Rituals

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Justice Breyer also observed that “marriage is about as basic a right as there is” and that the Constitution prohibits a state from “depriv[ing] a person of…basic liberty, without due process of law…” He questioned opponents’ counsel as to same-sex couples’ argument that they have “no possibility to participate in that fundamental liberty” in states without the freedom to marry. Breyer further stated that opponents’ argument that upholding tradition justified states’ same-sex marriage exclusions was “the same way we talk[ed] about racial segregation” during the era of Loving. Justice Sotomayor seemed to agree, apparently rejecting opponents’ argument that LGBT Americans somehow seek a Constitutional right to “gay” marriage and understanding that same-sex couples simply assert their fundamental right to marry that the Constitution guarantees everyone else.

the Court’s landmark LGBT rights cases. Kennedy said relatively little during the argument, but asked questions and made statements that observers have interpreted as favorable to both sides. LGBT supporters were disturbed when early on he gave voice to the argument that a purported “definition” of marriage had been “with us for millennia” and that “it’s very difficult for the court to say, ‘Oh well, we know better.’” Justice Breyer also wanted an answer to questions about the issue.

Even now, in my mid 50s, I can clearly remember how, as a child, I eagerly anticipated my birthday each year. I wondered what I would find when I ripped the gift-wrapping off presents. I looked forward to being able to choose any of my favorite foods or restaurants for my family and me to enjoy. For that one day each year, I was gleeful at being the center of attention!

An important birthday, my first

Marking time is important to me.

Perhaps that is one reason I became an officiant–to assist others in marking time with rituals. Many religious, as well as secular, holidays are based on times of year, since societies used to be more in touch with the seasons.

I find comfort in the annual repetition of holidays. And even though I work for myself, from home, I enjoy acknowledging on Friday that the workweek has ended and the weekend has arrived.

Holidays and anniversaries help us as individuals to connect with our communities. They also give us a point in time to think about the progress we have made, or how we’ve grown.

We certainly don’t need to be limited in observing only those occasions for which Hallmark has greeting cards. From 12-step birthdays to marking the date one came-out, we can celebrate dates that are important in our lives.

These celebrations give us the opportunity to share what is important in our lives with those who are important in our lives.

Bake a cake. Eat a cake. Dance, sculpt, or sing your way to celebrating your accomplishments.

Do whatever is meaningful to denote: “I was there…now I’m here.”

It took me until the end of writing this column to realize the message I really want to leave you with: Do whatever it is that is meaningful to you and then celebrate that you’ve done it!

Howard M. Steiermann is an Ordained Ritual Facilitator based in San Francisco.

For more information, please visit www.

SFHoward.com

Rainbow Honor Walk Keith Haring: Artist of Populism, Life and Love but it enabled anyone who wanted it to acquire his art at an affordable cost.

Rainbow Honor Walk Dr. Bill Lipsky At the beginning of the complicated decade when Ronald Reagan was president of the United States, innocent looking, funny, childlike drawings began appearing on the streets and in the subways of New York City. These images of babies, spaceships, televisions, dogs, and assorted unusual creatures— created in thick outline with a piece of chalk or a thick permanent marker often surrounded by rings of light or emitting rays of energy—looked like simplicity itself.

They were not. A gift to passersby, the seemingly random graffiti were the thoughtful and sophisticated creations of Keith Haring, a young, gay artist who expressed universal concepts of birth, sex, love, and joy. Fusing elements from sources as diverse as comic book illustration, animated cartoons, hiphop music, urban graffiti, and ancient Native American pictographs, he would create an entirely new, universally understandable, visual language to express his and our concerns and joys.

There probably has been graffiti since the world’s first wall went up in the first

city: “Sumerians Go Home;” “Jonathan Loves David;” “Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin.” Haring took this ancient, storied way to make public, anonymous social, sexual, and literary comments and turned it into a unique art form. “I at once felt at ease with this art-form,” he later said.

“Graffiti was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.”

Born on May 4, 1958, in Reading, Pennsylvania, Haring discovered his love of art at a very early age. After graduating from high school in 1976, he attended a commercial arts school in Pittsburgh, but soon left. “I quickly realized that I didn’t want to be an illustrator or a graphic designer. The people I met who were doing it seemed really unhappy; they said that they were only doing it for a job while they did their own art on the side, but in reality that was never the case—their own art was lost. I quit the school.”

Moving to New York City in 1978, Haring became involved in the city’s thriving alternative art community, especially the informal group of graffitists who were exploring new ideas on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. From the beginning, he

wanted to create public art, work that “could reach all kinds of people, as opposed to the traditional view, which has art as this elitist thing.” His goal: to integrate art “into every part of life” by “taking it off the pedestal [and] giving it back to the people.” He succeeded.

Haring put his work not in galleries and museums, but in subways, where people went about their daily lives.

“One day, riding the subway,” he explained,” I saw this empty black panel where an advertisement was supposed to go. I immediately realized that this was the perfect place to draw.

I went back above ground to a card shop and bought a box of white chalk, went back down and did a drawing on it. It was perfect—soft black paper; chalk drew on it really easily.”

His newly found atelier became his medium. “I kept seeing more and more of these black spaces, and I drew on them whenever I saw one. Because they were so fragile, people left them alone and respected them; they didn’t rub them out or try to mess them up.”

He also had found his audience.

“People were completely enthralled,” he discovered, and “really, really concerned with what they meant. The

first thing anyone asked me, no matter how old, no matter who they were, was, ‘What does it mean?’”

Haring used his art to address deeply personal, intensely humanistic concerns: the impact of mass technology; the excesses of capitalism; poverty; sexuality; violence; racism; and more. From the beginning, he incorporated the universal language of sex into what he created. He never denied his intent or meaning, instead “affirming his pride in being gay through the very explicit homo-erotic character of his works” and showing other artists that they no longer needed to hold back from “positively expressing their homosexuality in their art.”

Haring’s intent always was to create art for everyone, “not only collectors but kids from the Bronx.” Ever increasing recognition, however, meant, “My work was starting to become more expensive and…those prices meant that only people who could afford big art prices could have access to the work.” His solution: The Pop Shop, which sold his images on everything from t-shirts to posters to skateboards.

When it opened in 1986, some accused him of “selling out” to commercialism,

By 1990, the year he died tragically of AIDS at only 31 years old, Haring’s unmistakable images were found everywhere, on everything. Almost overwhelmed by both their popularity and establishment acceptance, they seemed about to become banalities.

Instead, with their simplicity of line and complexity of thought, they remain a vital, universally recognized visual language, expressing deeply human cares, a gift from his century to ours.

Five years after his death, the Keith Haring “Altarpiece,” a triptych 81 x 60 x 2 inches, was installed in the AIDS Memorial Chapel of San Francisco’s Grace Cathedral. Cast in bronze and covered with gold leaf, the artist used his famed graffiti style to present an iconic portrait unlike any other, of the life of Christ and the unity of heaven and earth. It was his final work of art.

Bill Lipsky, Ph.D., author of “Gay and Lesbian San Francisco” (2006), is a member of the Rainbow Honor Walk board of directors.

David Perry oversees the Rainbow Honor Walk series. He is co-founder and cochair of the nonprofit R a inbow Honor Walk, which has created a landmark memorial in the Castro to heroes and heroines of the LGBT community.

He is also the CEO and Founder of Dav id Perr y & A ssociates, http://www.davidperry.com/

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BAY T IM ES M AY 28, 2015

SF Bay Times, Half Page: 10.25” wide x 8” high

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Trans Über Publisher to Host Pride Month Panel on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Joe Wenke, founder and publisher of Trans Über —a publishing company with a focus on promoting LGBTQI rights, free thought and equality for all people—will soon be heading up a Pride month panel on sexual orientation and gender identity. The panel, which will be held on June 5 at the San Francisco LGBT Center, will include transgender high fashion model Gisele Alicea (aka Gisele Xtravaganza); author Kevin Fisher-Paulson, who is captain of the Honor Guard for the San Francisco’s Sheriff ’s Department; Wenke; and Hida Viloria, the chairperson of Organization Intersex International (OII).

These panelists are just some of the individuals who are featured in Wenke’s groundbreaking new book, “The Human Agenda: Conversations About Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity.” The book is a collection of frank conversations about growing up, coming out, family, marriages, parenting, careers, f inding one’s identity, and much more.

y p p Ha e d i Pr

In the wide-ranging conversations, Wenke and his guests share their personal and professional stories along with explaining their profound commitment to freedom and equality.

The book, he says, reveals that there is no gay agenda, no transsexual agenda, and no straight agenda; there is only the human agenda. Curious about what that might be, as well as what his goals are in terms of the forthcoming panel, we interviewed Wenke, who thoughtfully took time out of his schedule for us.

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Note that in addition to serving as the founder and publisher of Trans Über, Wenke is also a well-known writer, social critic and LGBTQI activist.

He writes for the Huff ington Post and authored the following works before his latest release: The Talk Show (a novel), a collection of poems entitled “Free Air,” the book Papal Bull: An Ex-Catholic Calls Out the Catholic Church, You Got To Be Kidding! A Radical Satire of the Bible, and Mailer’s America.

San Francisco Bay Times: Is there a “human agenda” and, if so, what is it?

Joe Wenke: Yes, there is. Human beings all have the same goals. Let’s call those goals “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” That’s what we all want. That’s what I mean by the human agenda.

I use the phrase as the title of my book to make an ironic commentary on the old hate speech phrase, “the homosexual agenda,” which was coined by anti-gay bigots in the early 1990s to communicate the idea that there is a vast homosexual conspiracy that is dedicated to undermining our fundamental cultural and religious values.

The phrase, “the human agenda” is saying that there is no homosexual agenda. There is only the human agenda. On Twitter, I’ve been tweeting the statement that “the homosexual agenda is the human agenda: life liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

I’ve also been tweeting the complementary statement that “the transgender agenda is the human agenda: life liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” I’ve made those two tweets the epigraphs of the book since they really get to the essence of what the book is about.

San Francisco Bay Times: How did you decide upon the format for your book, presenting numerous conversations with LGBTQI community leaders?

Joe Wenke: I’m very concerned that we are becoming increasingly polarized as a culture. I wanted to create

a book that responds to this polarization by finding common ground in our shared humanity. I thought maybe the best way to do that is to simply have conversations with amazing people in the community. So I got together with a really diverse group of great people, and we all shared our goals, our dreams, our passions and experiences. In essence, we all told stories about ourselves. I think when you do that, you create the possibility for understanding and empathy, where perhaps previously there was little or no understanding or empathy.

My hope is that these stories might help to counteract the voices of ignorance and hate. Perhaps straight and cisgender readers with open minds and hearts who do not currently understand or embrace LGBTQI people will think to themselves, “You know, I’ve felt that way myself,” or, “Actually I see now that you have the same goals in life that I do.” In fact, I’m hoping that everyone who reads the book will experience similar epiphanies.

S a n Fr a nc i sco Bay Ti me s: Thinking of your upcoming Pride month panel in San Francisco, what do you believe are the greatest misconceptions about the differences between sexual orientation and gender identity, and how do you hope that the event will help to better educate people about those differences?

Joe Wenke: People tend to confuse sexual orientation and gender identity when they are quite distinct elements of human identity. Sexual orientation refers to who we are attracted to sexually, emotionally, romantically.

Gender identity refers to how we experience and communicate gender.

What’s interesting and problematic, though, is that we tend to view both sexual orientation and gender identity in binary terms, i.e., we think that most people are either straight or gay and that some are bisexual, and we

think that everyone fits neatly into a male or female bucket.

In fact, both sexual orientation and gender identity exist on a spectrum.

Many people are beginning to realize that there are lots of different variations on sexual orientation. For example, I’m primarily attracted to transgender women and identify as androgynous, so what do we call my sexual orientation? It’s not straight, gay or bisexual. So what is it?

Also, some people are experiencing the fact that sexual orientation is not fixed. It can evolve over one’s lifetime.

With respect to gender identity, most people still think that your gender is fixed and assigned at birth and that if you have a penis, you’re a boy, and if you have a vagina, you’re a girl, and that it’s just that simple. However, that view doesn’t fit the facts. There are, in fact, many different ways that people experience and communicate gender. Indeed, there are people whose gender identity is different from their biological gender. We call these people transgender. Others may identify as gender fluid or gender neutral. These people exist, and we need to recognize the authenticity of their gender identities. My goal is for our event to open up conversations about these issues.

S a n Fr a nc i sc o Bay Ti me s: Please share a few words about the participants on your panel, and why you selected them for inclusion both on the panel and in your book.

Joe Wenke: The Human Agenda brings together a really diverse group of LGBTQI people, and the panel reflects that diversity. Gisele Alicea is one of the very few transgender women who has had a long and successful career as a high fashion model. Hida Viloria is an intersex activist, and Kevin Fisher-Paulson is a writer and an activist on the issue of LGBTQI foster parenting and adoption rights. The four of us are in a great position to discuss a very broad range of issues that face our community and per(continued on page 26)

Fitness SF Trainer Tip of the Month From Fitness SF Mid-Market trainer Aaron Miyasaki: “Always exhale during exertion and inhale during recovery.”

Troy Macfarland of Fitness SF will be providing monthly tips he’s learned from his colleagues who are professional trainers at local gyms.

He can be reached at tmacfarland @fitnesssf.com

5th Annual San Francisco Peacemaker Award Ceremony to Be Held During Pride Month The first week of Pride month will include the 5th annual San Francisco Peacemaker Award Ceremony, which recognizes the contributions of individuals and organizations that strive toward making our city’s neighborhoods and communities healthier and safer through peacemaking and anti-violence work. This year’s winners include the following: Ja’Marc Allen-Henderson, a high school senior who’s a peer mediator; Alternatives to Violence Project, a conflict resolution organization for prisoners and ex-offenders; and Valerie Tulier, a Mission District activist who’s a leader in youth development, violence prevention, and policy advocacy.

San Francisco’s Community Boards, the nation’s oldest public conflict resolution center, is the organizer of the event. The organization is now in its 39th year.

“Community Boards’ Peacemaker Awards recognize that it takes a village of peacemakers and anti-violence activists to build a San Francisco that values dialogue and resolution over conflict,” says Community Boards’ Executive Director Darlene Weide. “The 2015 award winners are outstanding examples of how incredible vision and true dedication to community well-being can create

Mediator when he started his junior year in high school. He is equipped with skills to disarm conflicts when they arise on campus and with knowledge to support students with ongoing conflicts. Teachers refer students to him for mediation and students can also refer themselves. So far, Ja’Marc has mediated five cases.

Valerie Tulier

profound and positive changes in San Francisco.”

Spokesperson Lisa Geduldig, who herself is a peace activist and a well known entertainer, shared that Tulier–recipient of The Raymond Shonholtz Visionary Peacemaker Award–is an important leader in youth development, violence prevention, and policy advocacy in San Francisco’s Mission District. For the past decade, Tulier’s life’s mission has been dedicated to serving San Francisco’s low-income youth of color and their families. She has worked at RAP (Real Alternatives Program), was the education coordinator at the SF Conservation Corps, taught GED classes at Precita Center, and worked as a district representa-

Ja’Marc Allen-Henderson

tive for California State Senator Carole Migden. Valerie is currently chair of the Mission Peace Collaborative, where she organizes town hall meetings and events that focus on peaceful community empowerment and reducing gang violence.

Allen-Henderson–recipient of The Gail Sadalla Rising Peacemaker Award–is an 18-year-old senior at June Jordan School for Equity. His passions are social justice and science.

He shares, “I always had an interest in science since I was a child. At June Jordan, I’ve been inspired by issues of justice. I’ve noticed that science and new tech generally benefit wealthier people. I want tech to be more equitable and science more accessible, more diverse.” He became a Peer

Alternatives to Violence Project– recipient of The Community Boards Leadership Peacemaker Award–is a non-profit that began in 1975 as a collaboration between inmates at the Green Haven Prison in New York and Quakers interested in working with youth gangs and teens at risk. Now in it 40th year, this successful ongoing project has spread to prison programs across the U.S. AVP’s approach is to provide inmates with intensive workshops to improve methods of communication and encourage taking a deeper look at ways of resolving conflict, including communication and forgiveness, which are also core principles of Community Board’s work.

AVP’s workshops serve to reduce violence in prisons, but also to prepare inmates for life in the communities that they return to by changing their

approaches to conflict, and through them, changing their communities.

In terms of Community Boards’ direct work with the LGBT community, Geduldig says, “Community Boards helps a lot of LGBT clients and has a good number of LGBT mediators. They match them with the cases so everyone feels heard and safe, and also facilitate for a number of LGBT organizations to help them work through conflicts with volunteers, board and staff.”

She adds, “Community Boards’ facilitation services also help the LGBT community in San Francisco. For both small and large groups, Community Boards’ trained facilitators can make meetings more productive and help groups arrive at decisions. Community Boards ensure that its facilitators and mediators understand the issues in the LGBT community.”

The Community Boards’ 5th Annual San Francisco Peacemaker Awards will be held on Friday, June 5, at the City Club of San Francisco. For tickets and additional information, please visit: www.communityboards.org/inthe-community/sfpeacemakerawards

BAY T IM ES M AY 28, 2015

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Resolving Conflicts in Relationships messiness and disarray represent freedom and relaxation.

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman Co-Founders in 1978 Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-601-2113 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 Phone: 510-504-9255 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com

Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT

The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men.

We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community.

The Bay Times is proud to be the only 100% LGBT funded and owned newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco.

Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas Co-Publishers & Co-Editors

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Jennifer Mullen

(Editor’s Note: This article is the third of a three-part series entitled “Strengthening Relationships.”)

In this final installment of three columns examining Dr. John Gottman’s research on successful relationships, the focus is on what he discovered about how successful couples approach conflict resolution.

One of his discoveries was that most conf licts in successful relationships—69 percent to be exact—are never resolved at all. Tom is a neat freak, and his husband Bill is a total slob. Tom grew up with alcoholic parents who lived in complete disorder, and for him a neat and orderly home represents safety and stability.

Bill had a military father, who ran his home like a barracks. For him, a little

Tom and Bill will never see eye to eye on housekeeping. What they can hope to do is, first, to understand how the other man’s position is rooted in deep personal experience, which may help each of them take the other’s behavior less personally. Then they can work at reaching workable compromises, and learn to treat the inevitable periodic tensions over this issue with some lightness and humor. Most perennial conf licts in long-term relationships are like that. They usually ref lect deep-seated differences in outlook and personality, and successful couples learn to work with them rather than resolve them.

But what about the conf licts that can be resolved? Gottman’s research highlighted five guidelines that make successful resolution more likely: 1. Soften your startup.

Discussions end the way they begin. If you start with name-calling, yelling, or accusations, that’s how the conversation will end. Successful resolution is more likely if you speak calmly and with respect. Complain, but don’t blame. Confront, but don’t attack. Focus on the situation, not on your partner’s character. Describe what you don’t like, but don’t evaluate or judge.

Make statements that start with “I” instead of “You.” Say, “I’d like you to

listen to me,” not, “You never listen to me.” Couch your request within an appreciative statement about what your partner has done right in the past. And don’t store things up. If you wait too long, the issue will just fester in your mind.

2. Learn to make and receive repair attempts.

The first thing you’re taught when you’re learning how to drive is how to stop the car. Stepping on the brake is an important skill in relationships too. When you get off on the wrong foot, or find yourself caught in recriminations, you can head off a lot of grief if you know how to stop. Gottman calls these breaks “repair attempts.” A repair attempt is anything that tends to de-escalate the tension.

It can consist of suggesting a time-out.

It can be a statement like: “May I take that back?” or, “I’m sorry I spoke so harshly.” It can be a request, such as, “Please be more gentle with me,” or, “Please help me calm down.” When your partner offers a repair attempt, your job is to recognize and accept it. Understand it as an attempt to improve things, not as an interruption in the argument.

tempts because their bodies are flooded with intense anger, hurt, or anxiety. When f looding occurs, the best thing you can do is to stop trying to resolve the issue at hand and focus instead on relaxing yourself and soothing each other. Put the issue on hold until you both feel calm and soothed.

4. Compromise.

If you find yourself sitting with folded arms and shaking your head while your partner talks, you’re not going to resolve anything. You don’t have to accept everything your other half says, but it’s crucial that you be open to her or his influence, and that you be willing to consider another point of view.

5. Be tolerant of each other’s faults.

3. Soothe yourself and each other.

If you find yourself on a campaign to change your partner, you’re on the wrong track. Conf lict resolution isn’t about one person seeing the error of his or her ways. It’s about finding common ground and ways to accommodate one another. In all our relationships there will be some things we just don’t like about the other person, and usually those things never change. Accepting that reality is indispensable in any mature, successful relationship.

When couples are in a heated argument, both parties often have trouble recognizing each other’s repair at-

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. To learn more, please visit his website at tommoon.net

sisted—moved through toward their higher good and greater mission— despite the many transmutations and transformations in their personal lives and intimate love affairs.

offers glimmers of hope and restoration and peace.

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We Have Our Work!

Speak Up! Speak Out! Laugh Often!

Karen Williams, M.Ed. When I was younger and just a little bit more carefree, I tested the “lady” waters pretty easily and frequently. I was the classic city version of “looking for love in all the wrong places” and I consoled my often wounded heart by sharing with friends that my “picker” was broken, a theory I believed with what was left of my whole heart.

One of my dear friends in those early years in Berkeley, California, was my soul sister and comrade in similar romantic undertakings. She—a budding writer—and I—a budding comic—spent a good deal of time discussing writers and politics, feminism and women’s rights, children and child care, and other relevant issues of our time…along with our brief laments about our errant love affairs. We shared our writings at sidewalk cafes, in brick huts, and while browsing through new collections of featured radical lesbian writers at the now-defunct Mama Bears Coffeehouse.

She too had a broken “picker,” however, her words of wisdom during one of her break-ups (or breakdowns…I don’t remember) still ring true for me.

“We have our work, Karen! No matter what happens!”

What a powerful statement! And I have seen it translated in so many situations where women have per-

From the emotional bruisings suffered by Eleanor Roosevelt in her trying marriage to the great FDR to our current lady phoenix, rising from the ashes of another case of presidential betrayal, Hillary Clinton, the ability to focus on their work is the most stunning jewel in their character.

We don’t have to be First Ladies to relegate our lives to a higher purpose.

We simply have to decide that what we choose to devote our lives to matters, if only to us; and more often than not, it is the work that helps us to navigate the murky waters of betrayal, angst, grief, unwanted solitude, and that unsettling state of emotional weariness.

In particular, the work of writing, which at first sets out to soothe one’s own soul, can, when shared, deliver others from sorrow and despair and

Round About - Lost Queer History Tour

Writing is my work…whether penning for the craft of comedy or making journal entries, scripting poems or signing cards of encouragement…the value of living with purpose and meaning expressed through this medium has endowed me with courage and strength of character. Love affairs be damned!

It’s the work that matters!

Well, at least until I get the courage to try again.

Thank you, my dear friend, for your tenderly expressed words of conviction that have stayed with me all of these years. For when all else seems to fail, we have our work, and when we turn our attention to that which really makes sense and turns us on, we can find relief and renewed energy to continually move forward.

Karen Williams is devoted to her work! To learn more, please visit http://hahainstitute.com/

Photos by Rink

Katie Gilmartin, author of Blackmail My Love, was joined by friends and colleagues on May 16 for the Lost Queer History Tour of North Beach. Beginning in Jack Kerouac Alley, the tour visited lesbian, gay and Bohemian bar sites along the route. Of particular interest was the site of The Black Cat Cafe where entertainer José Sarria, later known as “The Widow Norton,” performed.

GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow Sharknado!

Before we start, I think I may have mentioned in the past that one of our three weather channel anchors here in Austin, Texas, likes to scare the hell out of his viewers rather than let them know what’s actually happening in an emergency. I was stuck home alone one evening last year when this maniac had me convinced that a giant tornado was half an hour from my house. It was only when I desperately switched channels after two hours of Mr. Maniac, that I learned that the threat was nonexistent!

Apparently this was not a one-off incident. Over Memorial Day weekend, Central Texas was beset with heavy thunderstorms and f loods. Several people were killed and riverside houses were washed out. That would have been bad enough, but the Crazoid on the NBC affiliate went blathering off about invisible tornados that could be cloaked in rain and all sorts of apocalyptic possibilities. Having learned from my earlier experience, Mel and I went back and forth from the normal weather people to the hysterical nutcase, but I’m telling you, if I had stayed on NBC and didn’t know better I would have spent the night wrapped in quilts in an inner hallway listening for the eerie sound of a freight train.

I bring this up because news coverage in this day and age, whatever the medium, is torn between the urge to grab your attention and hold it and the duty to report as near the truth as possible. An antigay bill that has zero chance of passage should be explained as such, not trumpeted as an imminent threat to civil rights.

A single diagnosis of someone with Scary Disease should be relayed in context, not described as a contagious outbreak. Instead, we often see the worst-case scenario discussed at times when such a scenario is not remotely possible. This, my friends, is not journalism.

Erin Go Bragh So, how about those Irish? I don’t know about you, but when I heard the Irish national vote on same-sex marriage was going to be a toss-up, my first thought was the infamous Bradley effect, the phenomenon in which bigoted people tell pollsters what they believe to be a politically correct response, but go ahead and vote their prejudices when they get behind the curtain. The effect was named for Tom Bradley, the African American candidate who lost the California governor’s race in 1982 despite being favored on the eve of Election Day. Gay rights votes have historically polled higher than their eventual results by a couple of points, most famously when Prop 8 pulled out a five point win after most expected it to lose. Were people afraid to sound antigay when Gallop called? Who knows, but let’s just say that the prediction that a gay vote is going to be close has historically boded ill.

But not this time. Indeed, the “yes” on marriage equality side won a solid 62 percent majority, helped by a powerful campaign that reportedly even led many pro-gay expatriates to return home to cast ballots. It was noteworthy that the “no” side generously congratulated the marriage activists on their victory and vowed to move forward. I heard little talk of the decline of civilization, the need to protect the wedding industry from forced servitude to gay couples or the desperate dilemma of the parish priest.

Ireland, population about four and a half million, has now become the first country to legalize marriage by popular vote, and many commenta-

tors noted that the predominantly Catholic country could be considered conservative. Well, yes and no. European conservatives would be laughed out of the American tea party, and sidelined at the CPAC convention.

Still, the results were heartening, and can’t help but add to the growing conviction that marriage equality in the U.S. is a fait accompli.

Bad Analyst. No Caf Pow Speaking of gay rights campaigns, I’m not sure if I bothered to report the results of a scientific study that showed gay door-to-door canvassers have a greater positive impact on voter attitudes towards our community than gay-friendly straight canvassers. If I skipped the story that’s fine, because we’ve just learned that the entire study was a bunch of baloney, complete with fake data and b.s. protocols. I don’t even feel like looking up the name of the dishonest scholar, who got a ton of publicity for his scam paper when it was published in the well-respected journal Science.

To me, it’s not really a gay story; it’s just another example of ambition gone wild, along with all the other incidents of plagiarism and lies and unethical shortcuts deployed in the interest of self-aggrandizement. Even the purported results are kind of screwy. Why would a gay person automatically make a better impression than a straight person, assuming they both believe in the cause? Indeed, one could imagine times when a fellow heterosexual would be more convincing to a fence-sitting voter. Either way, who cares? Not me, which is why I skipped it to begin with (I think).

Say It Ain’t So! What else shall we discuss? I see there’s news that a presumed gay basher who attacked two gay men at a New York restaurant a few weeks back is himself gay. If he called his victims “faggots” (which he allegedly did) can you call it a hate crime? It’s an interesting conundrum, but I say no. A hate crime reflects disdain for an entire group. I’m guessing that this guy reserves his hostility for certain men. That said, he broke a chair over their heads, which wasn’t exactly a friendly gesture. But while all assaults contain rage, not all are hate crimes.

I suppose I could be convinced to go the other way, but who has time?

And I’m pleased to report that we have three, count them, three cases of middle-aged right wing conservative men caught with their pants down and not a female in sight. First up, from Raw Story, is the intriguing compound headline: “Pastor caught having gay sex in van, spent stolen church money on farmer dating website.”

Boyd Holder Jr., 44, is charged with lifting about a hundred grand from the coffers of the Victory Apostolic Church in Kingsport, Tennessee. According to the local press, Holder was picked up six months ago for having sex with some guy in a van, but the police let him off with a warning. Now, we learn that Boyd ripped off his church and used the cash to look for dates on “Online Buddies” and “Farmers Only.”

There’s no way of knowing whether he was successful, but the photo on Raw Story suggests that if the good pastor wanted a hookup, he needed all the help he could get.

Then we have Queerty to thank for outing the Michigan pastor, Matthew Makela, a fount of antigay sentiments who was caught looking for action on Grindr, and forced to resign. Makela, a married father of two, told the Grindr guys he loved to cuddle and make out naked.” What? No walks on the beach? His boss, senior pastor Daniel Kempin, said Makela: “acknowledged that there was sin and repen-

Professional Services

tance, and I have testified that there is indeed forgiveness through the same Lord who forgives all our sins.”

Finally, how about North Dakota Republican Congressman Randy Boehning, a 12-year veteran of the Bismark assembly who has consistently voted against gay rights, most recently voting nay on a bill to add sexual orientation to state anti-discrimination law. In late April, the 52-year-old bachelor sent a Grindr prick pic to a 21-year-old who recognized him and called the press. “How can you discriminate against the person you’re trying to pick up?” asked the irritated young man. Boehning was obliged to admit he was gay, but I’m not seeing any further fallout. As yet.

Oh, and it’s not gay gossip, but we can’t leave the scandal pages without broaching the topic of Josh Duggar, one of the older sons in the wacky reality TV family that has 19 kids. Josh was forced to resign his post as Executive Director of the Family Research Council when the world learned that he molested a few of his sisters back in the day. You’ll be pleased to hear that Josh now “deeply regrets” his 14-yearold antics, and that GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee (a family friend) said that while the incestuous fondling was “inexcusable,” it was not “unforgivable.” Say what?!

The Duggar show has since been cancelled, but for a couple of days it wasn’t clear how the mandarins at TLC would react. Previously, TLC had cancelled “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” after the show’s matriarch was spotted hanging around with a child molester. Prior to the decision to cancel the Duggars, the Honey Boo Boo woman threatened to sue TLC for a million dollars if they didn’t immediately put her family back on the air. The premise of her lawsuit was that if the Duggars were allowed to remain on TV with an actual pedophile in the cast, then she should not have been punished for merely being friends with a sex offender. I’m also guessing that she felt there was some interpretation of the Equal Protection Clause that governed the right to star in a reality TV show on an equal basis as similarly situated trashy narcissists.

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Fun fact: Perhaps some of you recall that Honey Boo Boo, the six-year-old eponymous star of the above mentioned show, had an uncle who was gay named Uncle Poodle.

You Can Go to Texas, I’ll Go to Hell I’ve been avoiding the hard stuff so far in this column. I refer, for example, to the machinations in the Texas legislature, where bad things have been about to happen for weeks, but where nothing bad has actually transpired thanks to the stalling tactics of our few but stalwart Democrats. I think the session is just about over, but I am still getting the occasional dire email from local activists.

As for Alabama, the federal judge in the Race Card State’s marriage case ruled definitively that her decisions are binding on the entire state. She then put a hold on her ruling until the High Court settles the marriage question in a few weeks, a pragmatic, if somewhat disappointing, move.

Did you hear, speaking of Texas, that our new governor reassured conspiracy theorists that he would be keeping an eye out for irregularities during military exercises in Texas in July?

Oh, you must have read about “Jade Helm 15,” a complicated war game taking place in seven states for eight weeks this summer. By “war game,” I mean United States military training exercise. These are American soldiers getting in some practice for whatev(continued on page 26)

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BAY T IM ES M AY 28, 2015

19

Rethink and Rewrite Your Mental Script

Astrology Linda Amburgey Communication is a n essent ia l component of life, and now is not the time to take any form of transmission for granted. In fact, it would behoove you to turn your lips inside out, close the shudders on your eyes, and cover your ears, while allowing your awareness to travel inward. Ref lecting, rethinking, and rewriting your mental script is apropos during the Communication God, Mercury’s, spin into the earth’s shadow. The more time you spend in silence, the wiser your words when it is time to speak again.

ARIES (March 21–April 19) Spend plenty of time alone this month so that you can reevaluate your relationship and family goals. Perhaps more than most, you enjoy a good challenge, but wait to draw your verbal sword until next month. As your mental stress rises with no viable way to outwardly release it, beware that you do not implode.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Redirect your attention to money matters, and be patient. Although you are known for having a slow and easy cadence, at times you have become fearful and stuck. Your cash f lows down your river of truth, and you need to tend to the unintentional dams that have formed due to outdated mental concepts.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) Resist the urge to nail down the details when making plans with your clan. Your flexibility will be tested, and you will need to reexamine your own style of communication. People who do not know how to be silent ultimately do

not have anything of value to say.

Turn your observer on the highest setting, and hold your tongue for now.

phase, and changing your mind multiple times is appropriate and necessary as the creative vision emerges.

CANCER ( June 21–July 22) The less you speak this month, the more magnetically attractive you become. Although this sounds like an insult, it actually ref lects the leadership and service you can provide by being tuned into the Universal Flow. Guide the way in silence and you are certain to benefit financially.

LIBR A (September 23– October 22) Peer i ng through the looking glass, you may experience many never seen before wonders. The natural world is sending you synchronistic signals and signposts. Be introspective enough so that you may have the ears to hear, and the eyes to see.

LEO ( July 23–August 22) The tree of life is ready to produce your biggest dreams, but not just yet. Patience will be needed as you rework your ideas and long-range goals. What might feel like a series of false starts will bear the sweetest fruit if you will allow your future plans amply time on the vine.

SCORPIO (October 23– November 21) Take a good long look into the mirror until you are clear about your own shadow self. Information is pouring into your consciousness from the deepest and sometimes darkest center of your being. If you see demons dancing in your reflection, celebrate their liberation from darkness.

VIRGO (August 23–September 22) You are a magnetic force right now, attracting the people with whom you are sharing ideas that will eventually propel you into a new or expanded career. Be clear that this is the idea

SAGITTARIUS (November 22–December 21) Significant others take central space in your psyche, becoming the necessary field for your self-inquiry and awareness. Although it can be terribly vulnerable, it’s time to admit

that you just don’t know. It’s better to ask more questions rather than formulating answers right now.

CAPRICORN (December 22– January 19) Ideas are rolling around your head like the balls in a bingo blowing machine. As the new vision begins, be careful you don’t call out “Bingo!” prematurely. Find some contentment in having only fragments, as all those mental stirrings will later produce a perfect alignment of numbers that manifest with magnificent clarity.

AQUA R IUS ( Januar y 20 – February 18) Be sure to pencil in time for a variety of clever and creative friends this month. The initial intention of your agenda should focus exclusively on the precious moment, tossing crisp ideas around like a hot potato. Eventually, brilliant new structures will form from this disorganized fun.

PISCES (February 19–March 20) Your inner terrain looks like an anthill of activity. At f irst glance, it seems like an anarchy of discombobulated ideas. Rest assured that these ants in your pants actually have a well-ordered system that will eventually turn to a deeply personal and inspired career path.

Linda Amburgey has owned Crystal Way Metaphysical Center for 11 years, and has been an Intuitive Reader for 20 years.

To book readings, on-going counseling for couples or individuals, events and parties, please e-mail her at ConsciousCounsel@gmail.com or call 415-218-5096.

As Heard on the Street . . .

Do you think AIDS will be eradicated in your lifetime?

compiled by Rink

Moe Ortonez

Matt Beard

Tim Vollmer

Denise D’Anne

Rev. Michael Peterson

“Yes, I hope and I am 90% certain that there will be an accessible cure for HIV/AIDS in my lifetime.”

“Yes, and with the introduction of PREP, I feel the world is stepping up to end the virus.”

“Maybe”

“No, not in my lifetime, but I pray for a cure nonetheless.”

“Yes, AIDS is on its way out. The collective consciousness has directed its will to end AIDS.”

Steven Underhill

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BAY TIMES M AY 2 8 , 2 0 1 5

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Department of Duh: Environmentalists say major coastal cities can be protected by well-designed dykes.

Arts & Entertainment

Dawn Harms Directs Bay Area Rainbow Symphony with Skill, Passion

with BARS, and experiences outside of this symphony as well.

Dawn Harms: Being able to have the world-renowned Frederica von Stade sing with BARS was the biggest highlight for me so far. Also, being able to book Sara Davis Buechner for our concert coming up on June 6 was amazing. I’ve been fortunate enough to play on two of my cousin Tom Waits’ CD’s.

Playing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” for the seventh inning stretch at a Giants game with my buddy Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg was such a blast.

music. I’m guessing that we have probably heard your playing over the years, perhaps not being aware of the musician behind all of the beautiful, memorable music.

ence. A man came to our little town of Paradise, California, when I was 7 years old, and he was offering to give Suzuki violin lessons. So I took lessons for 6 months or so, and then he was gone.

He just left town. So, my mother—a piano and voice teacher—helped me along, until I found a real violin teacher when I was 9.

Dawn Harms, Music Director and Conductor of the Bay Area Rainbow Symphony, continues to astound us with her incredible career. She is a chamber musician, violin soloist, and is on the faculty at Stanford University.

She is a member of the San Francisco Opera Orchestra, is Associate Concertmaster for the New Century Chamber Orchestra and is Co-Concertmaster with the Oakland East Bay Symphony. She also records regularly at Skywalker Ranch Studios on soundtracks for movies and video games.

time out of her busy schedule, preparing for a big June 6 Bay Area Rainbow Symphony concert, for an interview.

San Francisco Bay Times: Given that you are a strong advocate for music education, we’re curious about your own early influences.

Please tell us about some of your early mentors and whether or not your family played a role in your first interest in music.

Can you believe that one woman handles all of the above, and does so with incredible dynamism, talent and expertise?

Dawn Harms: Yes, my parents played a huge role in me starting and continuing to play the violin, and making music my career. They always wanted a violinist in the family, and since I was the youngest of three, I was their last chance, and hope.

We were delighted when Harms took

I had a kind of “music man” experi-

I did not have an orchestra in my school, so I played drums in the band, and sang in the choir. I was the only string player in my whole school, and I got my experiences, and opportunities playing for church, as well as school functions, such as the French club dinners, and PE square dancing. My mother, in particular, made sure that I had plenty of places to play, to keep me inspired.

I was also very inspired by Jack Benny, who influenced me to combine playing the violin with comedy…thus my family show was born. (Editor’s note: Harms performs her show for families throughout the U.S., New Zealand and Japan.)

San Francisco Bay Times: Your resume is mind-blowing! Please mention some of the films and video games that feature your

Dawn Harms: Well let’s see, there have been plenty of them…It’s ironic because I have only actually played one video game in my life, and that was Pac-Man! But I have played violin on the soundtracks of the video games “The Simpsons,” “Mario,” “Zelda,” “Uncharted,” “Star Wars the New Republic,” and “GI Joe”—to name just a few.

As for movies and TV series, The Game, The Mummy, Outlanders, The Candidate, Ratatouille, and the list goes on.

San Francisco Bay Times: How did you first become involved with the Bay Area Rainbow Symphony?

Dawn Harms: Ian Harwood, the founder of BARS, asked me if I would be interested in guest conducting a rehearsal in the early years of the orchestra’s existence. A couple of years later, I was asked to be a soloist with the orchestra. I was amazed at the quality of the group. When the music director position came open, I applied. I had recently participated in the American Academy of Conducting in Aspen, and was looking for opportunities to conduct. It was perfect timing. I was one of four finalists, and got to prepare an entire concert with the orchestra. I was very fortunate, and the rest is history.

San Francisco Bay Times: Please share some memorable anecdotes/moments from your work

The thrill of a lifetime was when I got to fly in Gordon Getty’s jet to New York City to perform at the Guggenheim museum.

San Francisco Bay Times: How does your work as a professional musician segue into the LGBT community in general, and how has the LGBT community touched your life here in the SF Bay Area?

Dawn Harms: I haven’t always been able to feel comfortable being out as a gay woman. Especially living in Amarillo, Texas, where I got my first professional string quartet job at 24 years old. I just learned how to be hidden in a straight world, or so I thought.

Soon I found out that I wasn’t alone, and how many gay people were living just like me…normal, everyday people.

Music brought me and the gay community together in Texas. They came out of the woodwork after my concerts.

I was blown away with how many people there were. We had a lot in common. A common struggle to be accepted for who we were.

The Bay Area LGBT community has helped me tremendously since I moved here in 1996. I only knew one gay woman when I moved here, and in fact it was Betty Sullivan (Co-Publisher of the San Francisco Bay Times and founder of “Betty’s List”) who turned that all around for me. She invited me to a Bay Area Career Women TGIF one Friday in 2002. It was a blast, and I met so many wonderful lifelong friends to this day.

San Francisco Bay Times: Please tell us about the upcoming BARS concert and what excites and interests you the most about it. (continued on page 26) BAY T IM ES M AY 28, 2015

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Sex, Opera and Baking Come Together in Frisky Romance All Yours

Film Gary M. Kramer All Yours, out May 26 on DVD, is a frisky romance about Lucas (Nahuel Pérez Biscayart), a young man from Argentina who meets the heavyset Belgium baker, Henry (Jean-Michel Balthazar), on an online dating site.

Henry flies the scruffy Latin youth to his village to come live and bake with Henry. However, upon arrival, Lucas is visibly uncomfortable with both the sleeping and working arrangements.

Writer/director David Lambert’s (Beyond the Walls) film has Lucas and Henry navigating their relationship, which is further complicated when Lucas finds himself attracted to Audrey (Monia Chokri), Henry’s other employee. All Yours is a vivid, engrossing character study, complete with some graphic sex scenes, opera, and plenty of baking.

Lambert spoke via Skype with me for the San Francisco Bay Times about his fine film.

Gary M. Kramer: How did you come up with the story and the characters?

David Lambert: When I saw prostitutes and sex worker characters in film, I didn’t see anything relevant or close to life. There’s a criminalization of the client or prostitutes in movies.

My first idea was to make a film about a very specific client and sex worker, without criminalizing them or any aspect of this strange relationship. My second intention was: How you deal with all this Internet stuff; how people are meeting on the Internet one way, and how it is different when they meet in real life. The [characters] have to learn how to make a life together.

Frame 123

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Gary M. Kramer: What struck me specifically was all of the touching and body language the characters employed. A visually powerful scene has Lucas massaging Henry. It’s physically tender, but the relationship between the men was emotionally strained.

David Lambert: I put actors in situations where they don’t need a lot of dialogue to express themselves. When I can replace words with a look or

gesture, I do it. I’m resisting the talkative French cinema in my Belgian cinema. I try to observe the characters and their bodies in space.

Concerning Lucas, the massage scene is something he was not obliged to do, but he is a survival character. It’s instinctive. He is not able to do anything else. He has such poor self-confidence to be involved with women that he can only have sex with guys. A “non-profit” relationship [e.g., sex without payment, or for love] is something he can’t deal with. He is used to exploiting gay love and misery. When he has to express a real feeling with a woman or connect his own brain, heart, and dick, Lucas is a mess. He’s not able to do that.

Gary M. Kramer: How did you work with the actors on their roles?

David Lambert: I always write my characters like they all have a second or third chance. They are trying to do their best with their emotions and the situation. They are not mean; we try to get the best qualities. This is life.

They are hurting each other, and themselves, but they are trying the best they can.

Gary M. Kramer: What can you say about creating the graphic sex scenes on the videos, in the sex club and with Lucas’ rent boy activities?

David Lambert: When I shot Beyond the Walls, I decided to be very sexual, but never explicit. You don’t see anything—fetish, blow jobs, or f--ing. It was a decision from the start.

When I was shooting Beyond the Walls,

I had All Yours in mind, and I knew it would be the opposite and very explicit. Why is this film explicit? If you want to portray a character like Lucas, who is considering himself as a “dick” at least in the first part of the movie, having his life revolve around his dick, you have to show his dick. If you don’t show the dick of a character like this, you are avoiding the subject and not respecting the character. It’s a necessity for this kind of character, a male prostitute. The film is about a web cam image of a very sexual image [an erection] that becomes a complete human. He’s training himself to become someone complete, not just a “dick.”

Gary M. Kramer: How do you think these characters are representational of the LGBT community?

David Lambert: I never try to represent the community. I am trying to portray strong characters in strong stories and show things that we don’t see usually in cinema. As far as the LGBT community, we are mature enough and experienced enough to deal with issues that are not especially as pleasant as we’d like them to be.

Gay dating websites are part of gay life. It’s like how Russian lady sites are part of straight life; it’s the same story.

They end up in a crazy village with crazy man. © 2015 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer David Lambert

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BAY TIMES M AY 2 8 , 2 0 1 5

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun needed funds to beneficiary agencies AIDS Legal Referral Panel, HIV Nightline, HIV Story Project, Huckleberry Youth, LGBTQ Connection, Positive Resource Center and Project Open Hand.

Board Chair Gil Padia spoke of the need to involve younger people, who may not have as much invested in AIDS fighting and fundraising as older veteran activists and philanthropists.

AoF is all volunteer with no paid staff, and gladly welcomes new volunteers. academyoffriends.org

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “As Dr. Ben Carson has officially announced his candidacy for the 2016 presidential election, LGBTQ voters are advised to take a close look at six of the most audacious anti-gay comments made by the retired neurosurgeon in the two years he’s been in the public eye as a conservative politician. He has stated: prison sex is proof that being gay is a choice; judges who rule in favor of marriage equality should be ejected by Congress; gay rights advocates are dividing America with their ‘hate speech;’ gay-affirming clergy put a finger in the eye of God; gays are like pedophiles; and marriage equality is a Communist plot.

Wow!!!”

On HARVEY MILK DAY, we celebrated what would have been Harvey Milk’s 85th birthday at the Castro Theatre for a special one-time screening of the Oscar-winning documentary, THE TIMES OF HARVEY MILK. Presented by the HARVEY MILK LGBT DEMOCRATIC CLUB, this anniversary event included a special VIP reception and fireside chat facilitated by GLBT Historical Society historian Gerard Koskovich with the film’s director Robert Epstein and living legends from the gay rights movement: former Assemblymember Tom Ammiano, former Supervisor Harry Britt, Tory Hartmann, Gwenn Craig, and Henry Der. Having premiered at the Castro Theatre in 1984, The Times of Harvey Milk (narrated by the great Harvey Fierstein) chronicles the political career of San Francisco’s and the nation’s first openly gay elected official and his rise from a neighborhood activist to a symbol of gay political achievement, through to his tragic assassination in November 1978. Receiving international acclaim, awards, and selection into the National Film Registry in the Library of Congress, the documentary later became inspiration for Gus Van Sant’s 2008 Oscarwinning biopic, Milk. Any queer activ-

ACADEMY OF FRIENDS has been in existence and evolving for 35 years.

Soon after the onset of the HIV epidemic, they dedicated themselves to the mission of working to ease the burden of this disease through the raising of funds in support of direct care for those with HIV/AIDS and educational programs to prevent infection. Through their annual ACADEMY AWARDS NIGHT GALA, they have raised almost $8.7 million to support more than 73 HIV/AIDS service organizations in the San Francisco Bay Area.

AoF held a BENEFICIARY CHECK PRESENTATION & VOLUNTEER APPRECIATION party at Oasis, with Vice Chair Matthew Denckla and Treasurer Beth Feingold handing out

ists who have not seen these two history-changing films should definitely check them out, available on Blu-ray and DVD. BOURBON & BLANCHE is now the newest Castro drag spot - where singing along is actually encouraged.

PATTY MCGROIN produces this delightful show at The Residence, 718 14th Street & Church, 8pm every 3rd Saturday every month. June 20th is the next one. The cast I enjoyed on their premiere opening night was Patty McGroin, Tora Hymen, Kylie Minono, Landa Lakes, Kit Tapata, and Piper Angelique. Patty and Kit were dressed as Marie Antoinette and King Louis the 14th lipsynching “Don’t Stop Believin’” followed by Kylie doing Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball.” Singing live, Landa brought out a chair and sang “If I Can’t Sell It, I’ll Sit Down on It.” She even gave a shout-out to Sister Dana.

Tora illustrated brilliantly “I Will Survive” and “Don’t Leave Me This Way.” Drag King Kit gave us Mark Ronson’s “Up Town Funk” with his funky walk and exposing his painted-on six pack. Patty was back with “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” She then dragged contestants onto the stage to Lip-Synch for Their Lives” a la RuPaul’s Drag Race and then suck on a phallicshaped ice sculpture with shots poured down the hollowed-out shaft and out the tip. Kylie came back to do really impressive scat lip-synch by Ella Fitzgerald. Landa sang her special composition of “Beaver” to the tune of “Fever.” Kit encored with rap fantastic.

Piper did Dolly Parton’s “Nine to Five.” Tora did Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do with It.” Patty finished with Taylor Dayne’s “Tell It to My Heart” and brought the whole

Dawn Harms, Music Director & Conductor Sara Davis Buechner, Piano Tickets & Info: http://BARS-SF.ORG June 6, 2015 8pm plus Recital at 3pm San Francisco Conservatory of Music 50 Oak (at Van Ness)

Kaprálová - Partita for Piano & String Orchestra Clara Schumann - Piano Concerto Smyth - Serenade The Bay Area Rainbow Symphony (BARS) is an orchestra that provides a safe and supportive environment for musicians of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and gender expressions. A 501(c)(3) organization, BARS makes cultural, social, and educational contributions to the San Francisco Bay Area by performing ambitious repertoire to a high standard.

(continued on page 26)

Round About - GGBA Mega Make Contact Photos by Rink and Steven Underhill stevenunderhill.com

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

Co-sponsored annually by the San Francisco Bay Times, Castro Merchants Association, the SF LGBT Community Center and GGBA, Mega Make 2015 was held at The Center on Tuesday, May 19. The event brings together members and supporters of key groups that foster the development of business opportunities in the LGBT community.

PHOTO BY RINK PHOTO BY RINK

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Betty’s List Special*

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See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

compiled by Robert Fuggiti

“A Little Night Music” will be at the American Conservatory Theater through June 14.

• 28 : T HURSDAY

Celtic Woman – San Jose Center for the Performing Arts. $40-$100. 7:30 pm. (255 Alameda St., San Jose) The all-female vocal ensemble performs a mix of Celtic and New Age Contemporary

music. www.celticwoman.com What Ever Werx – Stage Werx. $10. 7:30 pm. (446 Valencia St.) Three of the Bay Area’s best solo storytellers/comedians/musicians combine their super powers to create an unstoppable evening! www.stagewerx.org

Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga – Concord Pavillion. $45+. 8 pm. (2000 Kirker Pass Road, Concord) The legendary duo performs songs from their Grammy Award-winning album Cheek To Cheek. www.ladygaga.com

• 29 : F RIDAY

Dogs on the Catwalk – SF SPCA. Donation. 5 pm to 10 pm.

(201 Alabama St.) The San Francisco SPCA invites you to the inaugural Dogs on the Catwalk cocktail party and fashion show. www.sfspca.org/catwalk Ensambles to Ballet Folklórico Mexicano – Berkeley Performing Arts. $13. 6 pm. (2560 9th St.) Ensambles Ballet Folklórico de San Francisco was founded in 1992 to preserve the tradition of Mexican folk dance with quality and authenticity. www. ensambles-sf.com The Little Lantern Ballet – Palace of Fine Arts. $50-$150. 7 pm.

(3301 Lyon St.) A full-length storybook ballet with a powerful message about the spirit and result of collaboration. www.palaceoffinearts.org

• 30 : S ATURDAY

Annual Family Fun Festival – Downtown Berkeley. Free. 10 am.

(Civic Center Park, Berkeley) An event the whole family can enjoy with games, contests, performances, and hands-on activities for all ages! www.ecologycenter.org Tree of Fairy Tales – Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts. $17. 11 am. (500 Castro St., Mountain View) Young actors from 24

BAY TIMES M AY 2 8 , 2 0 1 5

ages five to fifteen perform short skits. www.mountainview.gov

gala with special guest star Laura Benanti! www.42ndstmoon.org

West Side Story – Throckmorton Broadway Sing-Along – Theatre. $18-$35. 1 pm. (142 Doulgass Morrsion Theater. Free. 8 Throckmorton Ave., Mill Valley) pm. (22311 N 3rd St, Hayward) West Side Story tells the story of Find your inner diva and belt out young lovers who are caught Broadway favorites with between prejudice and warring DMT. www.dmtonline.org street gangs in a tale inspired by William Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet. www.throckmortontheatre.org Launch Party with Michelle Tea – Books Inc. Free. 7 pm. (2275 Market St.) Local author and literati Michelle Tea celebrates the launch Oakland Book Festival – of her latest book, Girl at the Bottom Oakland City Hall. Free. 11 am. (1 of the Sea. www.booksinc.net Frank Ogawa Plaza, Oakland) Enjoy The News – SOMArts Cultural a day of literature with 90 writers, Center. Free 7:30 pm. ( 934 and 40 unique events. www.oakBrannan St.) Enjoy an evening of landbookfestival.org queer performance theater by local Golden Gate Park Band – artists. www.somarts.org Golden Gate Park Musical A Little Night Music – American Concourse. Free. 1 pm. (50 Conservatory Theater. $25-$95. 8 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.) GGPB pm. (415 Geary St.) Stephen presents a large variety of music Sondheim’s most rapturous and from classical transcripts, orginal seductive musical waltzes onto the works and broadway show tunes. www.goldengateparkband.org stage in a sumptuous, all-new production. Through June 14.

Peter Pan – Mountain Tamales www.act-sf.org State Park. $40. 2 pm. (801

• 2 : T UESDAY

• 31 : S UNDAY

Panoramic Hwy., Mill Valley) Mountain Play presents an outdoor theater adventure. Also June 7, 14, 14, & 21. www.mountainplay.org

• 1 : M ONDAY

LGBTQ Support Group – Petaluma Health Center. Free. 5:30 pm to 6:30 pm. (1179 N. McDowell Blvd., Petaluma) A positive support group for the LGBTQ community in Petaluma. www.phealthcenter.org Songs of a Summer Night – Bimbo’s 365 Club. $375+. 6 pm.

(1025 Columbus Ave.) A benefit

• 3 : W EDNESDAY

One Man, Two Guvnors – Berkeley Repertory Theatre. $39$89. 7 pm. (2025 Addison St.) A brilliant mash-up of splendid comedy, British pantomime, and music-hall revues. Through June 21. www. berkeleyrep.org LGBTQ Jam – Stage Werx. $10.

7:30 pm. (446 Valencia St.) Endgames Improv supports LGBTQ players to come and perform improv comedy in an open jam. www.endgamesimprov.com

A program of The Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation

Resource Guide to over 250 SF LGBT nonprofits, arts and athletic groups and their events

• 4 : T HURSDAY

This Month at The Market!

Union Square SF Food + Art 2015 – Union Square. Free. 5 pm.

(280 Geary St.) A neighborhoodwide party with tasty bites from local restaurants, cocktails, wine tasting, art exhibitions and more. www.unionsquareshop.com Cowgirls, The Musical – Lucky Penny Community Arts Center. $26-$35. 7 pm. (1758 Industrial Way #208, Napa) Lucky Penny Productions presents a comedic musical about a country girl trying to save her father’s saloon. Through June 21. www.luckypennynapa.com The Barbary Coast Revue – Balancoire. $15-$64. 8 pm. (2565 Mission St.) A brand new musical with colorful characters from SF’s history and music you can sing along to. www.barbarycoastrevue.com

• 5 : F RIDAY

Russian River GLBT History Exhibit – Guerneville Lodge.

Free. 9 am to 5 pm. (15905 River Rd., Guernveville) Celebrate Sonoma County Pride with a special GLBT history exhibit.

Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Discussion SF LGBT Center. Free. 5 pm. (1800 Market St.) A special Pride Month panel, with participants from the timely new book, “The Human Agenda.” www.sfcenter.org Majesty Ablaze: Topsy-Turvy Queer Circus – Brava Theater. $15-$25. 8 pm. (2781 24th St.) This adrenaline-inducing experience is the third installment of provocative physical theater from Topsy-Turvy, San Francisco’s first queer circus. www.brava.org

• 6 : S ATURDAY

TJ Woodward Book Reading – The Castro Country Club. Free.

10:30 am. (4058 18th St.) Author TJ

6/3 & 6/10: Enter to win 2 tickets to the new Exploratorium. Great for a summer fun day!

6/24: Enter to win a bag of fresh produce.

The Barbary Coast Revue will be at the Balancoire Thursday, June 4.

Woodward offers a compelling resource for those seeking selfrealization in his new book, “Conscious Being: Awakening to Your True Nature.” www.castrocountryclub.org Rio Beach Party – Monte Rio Beach. Free. 12 pm. (20488 CA-116, Monte Rio) Sonoma County Pride continues with a beach-side celebration featuring music, games, BBQ and more. www.sonomacountypride.org A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Woman– SF Conservatory of Music . $20-$25. 8 pm. (50 Oak St.) Sara Davis Buechner performs two concertos with the Bay Area Rainbow Symphony in an entire program of compositions by women. www.bars-sf.org

• 7 : S UNDAY

Sonoma County Pride Parade – Downtown Guerneville.

Free. 11 am to 12 pm. (Main St., Downtown Guerneville) Featuring the San Francisco Lesbian / Gay Freedom Band and festival afterwards at the Guerneville Lodge. www.sonomacountypride.org Barbara Lewicki Exhibit – A Woman’s Eye Gallery. Free. 12 pm to 5 pm. (678 Portola Dr.) Barbara Lewicki is an outdoor and travel photographer specializing in wildlife, landscape and portraiture.

Through June 28. 415-265-8237.

The Trojans – San Francisco Opera. $96+. 1 pm. (301 Van Ness Ave.) One of the largest, most magnificent pieces in the entire repertory, this rarely staged epic is presented here for the first time in 47 years. Through July 1. www.sfopera.com

• 8 : M ONDAY

LGBT Mediation – SF LGBT Center. Free. 5:30 pm to 6:30 pm.

(1800 Market St.) All are welcome to join for a mindful meditation and spiritual practice. www.sfcenter.org Craig McLaughlin – Book Passage. Free. 6 pm. (1 Ferry Building) Author Craig McLaughlin shares heartfelt personal stories of passion, courage and humor. www.bookpassage.com

Emerging Artists Showcase – City Winery Napa. $10. 8 pm.

(1030 Main St.)Enjoy an evening with local emerging singers and songwriters. www.citywinery.com

• 9 : T UESDAY

RODIN FARM: Stone fruit is here – peaches, nectarines, pluots, and plums. They have great nuts and dried fruits for snacking. Try the Tropical Mix or the Mixed Deluxe Nuts. They now offer almond butter – a real taste treat!

PRATHER RANCH: This is the place to come for your holiday roasts like rack of lamb, rib roast, pork loins, and more. Prather Ranch offers beef from their sustainable 30,000-acre ranch. They're known for their dry-aged natural beef program.

They have a variety of beef cuts, sausages, ground beef, and check out their marrow butter!

FROM THE SEA TO YOU: Fresh local seafood like whole trout or snapper, prawns, scallops, and oyster shooters! Pick up some fresh wild salmon while you're there.

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The Cable Car Nymphomaniac – The Eureka Theatre. $30. 8 pm. (215 Jackson St.) A racy and uproarious new musical by composer/lyricist Tony Asaro, and book writer Kirsten Guenther. Through June 28. www.foggtheatre.org

OUTspoken: Portraits of LGBTQ Luminaries – San Francisco City Hall. Free. 5:00 pm.

(1 Dr. Carlton Goodlett Way) Internationally renowned artist Roger Erickson returns home for a first-ever exhibition featuring portraits of LGBTQ luminaries. www.sfartscommission.org SF Jazz Festival Kick Off Celebration – SF Jazz Center.

Free. 5 pm. (205 Franklin St.) The 33rd Annual San Francisco Jazz Festival kicks off with a block party. www.sfjazz.org Love and Information – American Conservatory Theater. $40-$100. 7:30 pm. (415 Geary St.) An acclaimed new play that features 57 brief yet memorable scenes that make up a world where data inspires obsession, and FaceTime conversations threaten to replace human contact. Through August 9. www.act-sf.org

• 10 : W EDNESDAY Portraits and Other Likenesses – A unique exhibit bringing together approximately 50 carefully selected artworks that explore the dynamic role of portraiture in modern and contemporary art. Through October 11. www.moadsf.org

Fallen Angels – Theatre Works. $20-$74. 7:30 pm. (1305 Middlefield Rd., Palo Alto) In this champagne cocktail of elegant wit, effervescent charm, and endless laughter, fabulous friends Jane and Julia learn that the dashing French flame they shared years ago is back in town and eager for a reunion. Through June 28. www.theatreworks.org Trouble Cometh – San Francisco Playhouse. $20+. 8 pm. (450 Post St.) A brand new play on the nature of identity in the age of the Internet. Through June 27.

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MARRIAGE EQUALITY (continued from page 14) in an unstable position of being in a second-tier marriage.”

Justice Kennedy asked questions that appeared favorable to both sides during oral argument in the marriage cases two years ago, but the ultimate result of Windsor was unambiguous, and some of the language stronger than most observers anticipated.

No one can predict the outcome of any Supreme Court case with surety based on oral argument or other comments Justices might otherwise make. The actual motivations for Justices’ questions are unknowable in advance. Justices may want to probe an argument fully by making statements and asking difficult questions to both sides. Further, Justices may be poised to ask particular questions,

but before they speak, their colleague might ask the very same thing, or the time allotted to the argument may expire.

Anticipation will continue to build as we approach the end of June, when the Justices will likely render their decision. We know that if justice prevails, marriage equality will be the law of the land and the U.S. Supreme Court will recognize that LGBT Americans deserve full and equal protection under the law in our lives.

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.

ROSTOW (continued from page 19) er else may come their way. But, for some Texans, there might be something fishy going on. Could be that these Jade Helm 15 folks are coming to take over Texas! Don’t know exactly. Can’t trust that United States of America!

Actor Chuck Norris is ready to defend the Lone Star. They call it “ just” a “training exercise,” he scoffed. “But I’m not sure the term ‘ just’ has any reference to reality when the government uses it.” I myself am not sure “reference to reality” has any reference to reality when Chuck Norris uses it. But I digress. Governor Greg Abbot then ordered the Commander

of the Texas State Guard to monitor the war games in order to ensure, in his words, that “Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed.” That’s right. The Texas State Guard (whatever that is) is going to be watching American military troops to make sure that they don’t kill us or steal our stuff. And our elected governor was concerned enough about the prospect of U.S. takeover that he commanded paramilitary troops to “monitor” the situation. Has the world gone mad? Or is it just Texas? arostow@aol.com

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT (continued from page 21) Dawn Harms: I’m so excited to be featuring a program of all women composers whose music is rarely performed.

Rarely performed doesn’t mean that it isn’t incredibly beautiful music. They just happened to be women, and were not given the same exposure and opportunities as men. In fact, these three composers are exceptional. We will be performing Clara Schumann’s “Piano Concerto,” Vitezslava Kapralova’s “Partita for Piano and Strings,” and Ethel Smyth’s “Serenade.” All of these works are masterpieces, and have been compared to the brilliance of Brahms, and Tchaikovsky.

This concert will also feature Sarah Davis Buechner as our fabulous piano soloist. As a transgender woman, she gives us the opportunity to reach out to the transgender community.

San Francisco Bay Times: How can our readers get more involved with the Bay Area Rainbow Symphony—as musicians, volunteers, supporters…?

Dawn Harms: Attend a concert!

Volunteer to help with a concert as well.

There is a lot that goes into making our concerts so successful. We are always accepting new members to come play with us as well. You can come give us a try with no obligation. Just go to bars-sf.org and check us out.

We are also in need of donations to help fund such extraordinary artists like Sara Davis Buechner. We want to keep bringing our audience the highest quality of performers, and that takes money to be able to invite such talent.

We have an incredible feeling of community, and our concerts are a lot of fun

as well.

San Francisco Bay Times: What advice do you have for younger musicians, and particularly LGBT individuals, who are interested in pursuing a career in music? It would seem that there are many challenges now, given cutbacks in music education at schools, and how high tech has affected music creation, distribution and so much more.

Dawn Harms: Yes, the situation with music in the schools is just appalling. It is very sad that they are cutting the very thing that can help save our kids, and keep them out of trouble.

Music gives them a sense of self worth and community, and, at the very least, gives them something to do. The trouble starts when they don’t value themselves and have nothing worthwhile to keep busy with.

If you love it and it is all you want to do, then you have to follow your dream. It is not an easy road to take, and it is very competitive. But if you work hard, and get as good as you can, it will always bring you joy, no matter what level of expertise you reach. And perhaps one day you’ll have the chance to join an excellent orchestra like the Bay Area Rainbow Symphony!

You can see and hear Harms and the Bay Area Rainbow Symphony on June 6, 8pm, at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music.

Beforehand, at 3pm, Sara Davis Buechner will illustrate her life story and transgender journey with short piano pieces, followed by a Q&A session. For additional information and to purchase tickets, please visit: bars-sf.tix.com/ Schedule.asp?OrganizationNumber=2941

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JOE WENKE (continued from page 16) haps try to assess where we currently up against religious bigotry and sustand in the struggle for freedom and perstition, and Norman Mailer, who equality. understood the importance of risk taking.

San Francisco Bay Times: Your own background is fascinating, San Francisco Bay Times: The given that you grew up with LGBT community, like every10 siblings in a strict Catholic thing else, continues to evolve family. How did that upbring- and change. What do you think ing inf luence your work today, are some of the greatest chaland who have been some of your lenges that we face today, and mentors? how should we direct our efforts to enact positive change?

Joe Wenke: Well, I felt from a very early age that I did not fit into that Joe Wenke: We’ve made a lot of culture and that set of beliefs, and I’ve progress on marriage equality largealways gone my own way. I think that ly because of all of the brave people attitude influences all of the work that who have come out as LGBTQI. As I do. I think one of the most radical a result, many people now have sons, things any of us can do is to simply daughters, sisters, brothers, friends, stand up and be ourselves every single neighbors or colleagues who are gay day. That’s what I’ve always tried to or lesbian. It is much more difficult to do. I would add that I do think that objectify someone you know and say, my upbringing fostered in me a very for example, “You don’t have the right strong sense of personal responsibil- to marry the person you love.” ity. I certainly try to reflect that sense So there is as a growing tolerance toof personal responsibility in all of the ward gay people in particular, and work that I do. there is increased legal protection in As far as mentors are concerned, I some parts of the country for people think in terms of other writers and in our community. But we are not yet thinkers. They include Thomas Paine at a place of broad-based acceptance. and Christopher Hitchens, who stood Of course, acceptance is not enough.

Acceptance is implicitly condescending, suggesting that people of privilege are deigning to accept those who lack privilege. The real goal is equality, and ultimately celebration of the beauty and diversity of our shared humanity.

I think we all need to stand up every single day, each in our own way, and demand equality. We need to continually assert, for example, that it is just as authentic and “natural” to be gay as it is to be straight, and that it is just as authentic and “natural” to be transgender as it is to be cisgender.

We need to stand up and celebrate diversity in our own lives. We need to advocate every day for a world in which everyone is safe and everyone is free to be themselves.

“The Human Agenda” panel is open and free to the public. It will be conducted in the San Francisco LGBT Center’s Ceremonial Room at 1800 Market Street. Books will be available for sale and signing. For more information, please contact Felipe Flores at the center at 415-865-5627.

SISTER DANA (continued from page 23) cast onstage for the grand finale. What a blast!

DREAMS ON THE ROCKS P RO D U C T I O N S presents STRANGERS WITH CANDY: LIVE at Exit Theatre. Two acts are based on the original episodes “Old Habits, New Beginnings” and “Who Wants Cake” on Comedy Central TV written by Stephen Colbert, Paul Dinello, Mitch Rouse, and Amy Sedaris.

The limited run now ends with May 28th, 29th, 30th shows, 8pm at The Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy Street. Directed

by Dani Spinks, adapted for stage by Ralph Hoy, Bob McIntyre and Dani Spinks, it stars Bob McIntyre (as high school drop-in Jerri Blank), Lauren Davidson, Sadie Fenton, Donny Goglio, Lonnie Haley, Becky Hirschfeld, Josie Lazo, Derek Lozupone, Layla Rudy, Rick Sakow, and Adam Vogel. This intimate little theater manages to have three different sets: kitchen, school classroom, and high school lockers. Act I shows the perils of doing drugs at high school (thanks to 46-year-old boozer, user, and loser Jerri Blank) and being unpopular (Jerri again) among the popular kids. Fortunately I escaped that awful fate once I got out of dreaded 7th grade and into the drama club with the popular set. Just before intermission there are a couple of bizarre commercials, including one for The Comfort Zone, where comfy not fashionable Jerri always shops. Act II finds discrimination against kids who wear braces on their teeth, and examines the pros and cons of being a high school snitch, including a lesson from an aged Wilfred Brimley! So despite what mommy told you, DO take Candy from these Strangers!

RICHMOND/ERMET AID FOUNDATION presented cast members from the Tony Award-winning show THE BOOK OF MORMON with a delightful night of music by The Beatles - a fundraising evening of music, dance, and comedy at Marines Memorial Theatre, which featured comedy/drag “popera” sensation Countess Katya Smirnoff Skyy and cast member Ron Bohmer hosting and singing along with other “Mormon” cast members. To date, REAF has distributed over $3 million to AIDS service agencies.

FRAMELINE held a press conference at Oasis to announce the upcoming 39th annual SF INTERNATIONAL LGBTQ FILM FESTIVAL, coming June 18th and ending June 28th on Gay Pride Parade night. Frameline, the world’s oldest and largest LGBTQ film

festival will be held in San Francisco, Berkeley, and Oakland. With an expected 65,000 fans attending over 11 days, the festival will have more than 30 countries represented. Opening night will feature I AM MICHAEL, starring James Franco & Zachary Quinto, in a controversial true story about a former SF-based gay rights activist who renounces homosexuality and becomes a Christian pastor. Sister Dana jumped for joy when he heard MAGIC MIKE XXL would hold a special preview screening on June 27th at the Castro Theatre. Male strippers! Wheeee!

Watch for the Festival’s funny trailer, a Wizard of Oz spoof starring drag icon Peaches Christ as Dorothy and Heklina as the Wicked Witch/nun of the West. The theme? “There’s no place like here!” Let’s all go to the movies!!!

THE DRAG QUEENS OF COMEDY came to the Castro Theatre and blew our wigs off ! As an unannounced special treat, Pippi Lovestocking opened the show. Michelle Visage hosted hilarious comics Bianca Del Rio, Jackie Beat, Sasha Soprano, Shangela, Lady Bunny, Willam, Alaska 5000, Peaches Christ, Heklina, and Miss Coco Peru.

Sooooo side-splitting! Haha to the max!

Grab your crayons and your backpack for a fantastical journey through THE BIG GAY ALPHABET COLORING BOOK, sixty-four pages illustrating 26 words that highlight memorable victories and collective moments in LGBTQP (Pansexual) culture. Written

by Jacinta Bunnell and illustrated by Leela Corman, this clever paperbound is not just for the kiddies.

CUMMING UP! BLOOM, the 7th annual fundraiser gala for A&PI WELLNESS CENTER, is Friday, May 29, 6:30pm at City View – Metreon, 135 Fourth Street, 4th Floor. The evening, overlooking the downtown skyline, will be full of delicious bites, delectable drinks, lively entertainment, a silent auction, and as always, a lovely crowd of old and new friends. All proceeds directly benefit their programs that transform lives by advancing health, wellness, and equality for people of all races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, gender identities, and immigration statuses. At A&PI Wellness Center, health care is grounded in social justice. apiwellness.org/ bloom CALAMUS is hosting its MONTHLY HEART CIRCLE on Thursday, June 4, 6:30-8:30pm (circle starts at 7pm) in The Gazebo Room @CPMC Davies

Campus, located off Castro Street, between 14th & Duboce. For men who love and have sex with men, The Heart Circle has been a powerful and formative part of our community’s history and culture, a magical (and sometimes challenging) space for healing, community building, and transformational personal growth. calamusfellowship.org SHANTI presents DOUBLE DOWN FOR SHANTI: a casino-themed fundraiser benefiting underserved women with breast cancer in San Francisco.

This will be an unforgettable evening at The City Club, 155 Sansome, of food, drinks, and casino-style games to benefit Shanti’s MARGOT MURPHY BREAST CANCER PROGRAM. Each year, Shanti supports hundreds of Bay Area women by offering Care Navigation services, advocacy, wellness activities, and more. Double Down for Shanti includes complimentary wine, no-host bar, and delicious hors d’oeuvres; photo booth; curated music by special guest DJ, and an inspirational program. shanti.org THRILLPEDDLERS p re s ents CLUB INFERNO: The Road to Fame Can Be Hell! A Glam Rock Musical based on Dante’s The Divine Comedy runs June 4–August 8, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, 8pm.

Concept, book, and lyrics by Kelly Kittell, music & lyrics by Peter Fogel, musical direction & arrangements by Birdie-Bob Watt, choreography by Marilynn Fowler, directed by Russell Blackwood. This is a limited engagement – 29 performances only!

Previews June 4, 5, 6, opening night Thursday, June 11, 8pm at The Hypnodrome, 575 10th Street in San Francisco. hypnodrome.org A few months ago, Sisters Dana, Dharma, Jendra, Roma, and Floozy of THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE, INC. took some photos for an exhibit that is about to show in SF City Hall’s art gallery, in the Rotunda, that is scheduled to show through the months of June 9th - Oct 16th. The opening night party is June 9, 5-7:30pm and free to anyone. Shots of various queer icons and celebs were taken by the amazingly talented, internationally renowned ROGER ERICKSON. The theme is OUTspoken. sfartscommission.org/ gallery/2015/outspoken-portraits-oflgbtq-luminaries Sister Dana sez, “On Memorial Day, did we remember our gay and lesbian service members and their families as they continue to serve our country?”

Round About Harvey Milk’s Birthday Photos by Rink

In honor of Harvey Milk’s 85th birthday on Friday, May 22, admission to the GLBT History Museum was free. More 150 visitors participated and viewed exhibits including the newly opened “30 Years of Collecting Art that Tells Our Stories.” Businesses throughout the Castro commemorated the day with special displays in store windows, including the HRC Store, Muddpuppy’s Tub & Scrub, Levi’s and others. At the Castro Theatre, Harvey’s life was honored with a screening of The Times of Harvey Milk, sponsored by the Harvey Milk Democratic Club. Friends who knew Harvey mingled with attendees, many born after 1978, at a VIP Party that preceded the screening.

BAY T IM ES M AY 28, 2015

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