San Francisco Bay Times - July 24, 2014

July 24-August 6, 2014 | www.sfbaytimes.com

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Building a Coalition of Us-es Supervisor David Campos As marriage equality moves from state to state, we can now focus our attention on fighting for LGBT rights in other areas, including access to housing. As a gay man, I am outraged that members of our community continue to face prejudice and sometimes outright hostility from landlords, real estate agents and lenders when looking for housing in many parts of this country because of their sexual orientation and gender identity.

One in five transgender people have been refused housing in the U.S.,

and more than one in ten have been evicted because of their gender identity. The Federal Fair Housing Act prohibits housing discrimination based on race, color, national origin, religion, sex, disability, and familial status, but does not specifically prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. We are lucky that San Francisco and California have strong housing laws, but this is sadly not the norm in much of the country. In fact, only 21 states prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation, and a meager 16 states prohibit discrimination against transgender people.

In order to address this issue, I recently passed first-of-its kind legislation that uses a simple method to encourage developers and building owners to implement policies that prohibit LGBT housing discrimination. The ordinance requires developers and owners with out-of-state properties who are applying to build 10 units or more in San Francisco to tell our Planning Department whether they have a policy prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in all the states in which they operate. If they do have one, they will be asked to provide a copy of that policy in their applica-

PH OTO S B Y R I N K

Fair Housing for LGBT People: Local Initiative with a National Impact

David Campos with supporters at El Rio

Dr Loco y Sus Cuates Band

tion. The Human Rights Commission will then compile this information and provide it to the Board of Supervisors annually.

This legislation will tell us whether developers wanting to build in San Francisco are protecting LGBT rights in places where local laws do not. It will also serve to protect LGBT San Franciscans who are displaced in this housing crisis. We want to do everything possible to ensure that they do not experience an erosion of their equal rights just because they were forced to leave the City.

By asking this simple question—do you have a policy prohibiting LGBT

discrimination—we are encouraging housing developers who want to build here to develop fair housing policies that will benefit LGBT people across the country.

And as these policies become normalized, this will David Campos (center) with members of the Dr Loco y Sus help us win LGBT housing Cuates Band at the Standup for Campos Comedy & Music rights at the national level. Show at El Rio As we’ve seen on everything from domestic partnerships to the rainbow flag, as goes San Francisco, so goes the rest of the country.

Times” was inspired by Harvey Milk’s ef-

David Campos is a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors representing District 9. This column for the “SF Bay

For more information about Supervisor

forts to build a coalition of what Milk termed “us’es,” meaning communities that value diversity and attempt to leave no one behind.

Campos and his work, please visit http:// www.sfbos.org/index.aspx?page=2117

Round About - AIDS WALK 2014 Photos courtesy of AIDS WALK San Francisco

More than 20,000 participants joined together in Golden Gate Park for AIDS WALK 2014, raising a reported total of more than $2.2 million in support for Project Inform and other non-profit groups. During opening ceremonies, organizers said that this year’s event would be dedicated to the HIV/AIDS researchers and activists who died in the crash of the Malaysian Airlines plane (MH #17) in Ukraine. Many walkers wore t-shirts saying: AIDS Walk for MH 17.

Dana Van Gorder, executive director of Project Inform, spoke at the event. “What a bitter irony that people working to do such good would be lost to such a gratuitous act of hate and violence,” he said.

BAY T IM ES JuLY 24, 2014

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National News Briefs Compiled and with commentary by Dennis McMillan

NY, NY - Chefs Protest Anti-Gay Law with Big Gay Mississippi Welcome Table - 7.14 Helena, MT - Montana AG Asks Court to Uphold Same-sex Marriage Ban - 7.18 Montana’s attorney general asked a federal court to uphold the state’s constitutional gay marriage ban in response to a lawsuit that seeks to overturn it. Republican Attorney General Tim Fox said in documents filed in federal court in Great Falls that the people of Montana spoke when they passed the ban in 2004. The ban says marriage is between a man and woman.

In May, four gay couples had filed a federal lawsuit challenging the ban. They alleged it denies samesex couples freedoms and dignity afforded to other Montanans, and that it denies them legal protections and benefits that come with marriage. The plaintiffs—several of whom were married in other states—are Shauna and Nicole Goubeaux; Angie and Tonya Rolando; Ben Milano and Chase Weinhandl; and Sue Hawthorne and Adel Johnson. Democratic Governor Steve Bullock has expressed his support for the couples who filed the lawsuit.

State marriage bans have been falling around the country since the U.S. Supreme Court last year struck down part of the federal Defense of Marriage Act. Same-sex marriage is legal in nineteen states and the District of Columbia. Bans that have been overturned in other states continue to make their way through the courts. Jim Taylor, legal director of Montana’s American Civil Liberties Union, has said the Montana case could take up to a year to resolve—barring any higher court action striking down gay marriage bans.

Despite its AG, Montana is moving along quite nicely in the battle for LGBTQ civil rights. In June, Bozeman, the fourth-largest city in Montana, voted 4-0 to pass an LGBTQ nondiscrimination ordinance, becoming the fourth city in the state to do so. The ordinance protects people based on their sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. After months of heated City Commission meetings, commissioners finally voted unanimously to pass it.

Bozeman now joins three other Montana cities—Missoula, Helena and Butte—that have passed nondiscrimination ordinances. Talks are currently underway in Billings to get an ordinance adopted there.

For 35 years, hundreds of New Yorkers and displaced Mississippians have gathered yearly in Central Park to eat catfish, listen to the blues and praise the virtues of that southern state. But this year, a group of chefs upset over a new Mississippi law—perceived by critics as hostile to gays and other groups—is adding a little fried-chicken activism to the mix.

The Mississippi Religious Freedom Restoration Act took effect in July, allowing businesses legal leeway in dealing with customers if doing so would put a substantial burden on their religious beliefs. Opponents call it the “turn away the gays” law. Although other states have introduced similar legislation recently, Mississippi was the first to pass a new version of what are referred to as religious freedom bills.

In some cases, the legislation has been motivated by legal decisions against businesses, including a case in New Mexico in which a photography studio was sued after refusing to photograph a same-sex couple’s commitment ceremony. Several religious organizations and conservative groups, including the homophobic Family Research Council, have praised Governor Phil Bryant for signing the bill.

But others in the state, chef John Currence among them, contend the law could lead to discrimination by businesses who don’t want to serve gays and lesbians, Muslims or others whose lives don’t align with certain conservative Christian values. Currence and a group of chefs including Art Smith, private chef for Oprah Winfrey, put on a protest dinner called the Big Gay Mississippi Welcome Table in partnership with City Grit in Manhattan.

“More than anything else, the law sends a terrible message about the state of consciousness in the state of Mississippi,” Currence said. “We are not going to sit idly by and watch Jim Crow get revived in our state.”

The idea was hatched with Memphis chef Kelly English, who fought against a similar bill introduced in Tennessee. The chefs were joined by Douglas Quint and Bryan Petroff, the men behind New York’s Big Gay Ice Cream, who served sundaes for dessert. Proceeds went to LGBTQ groups on Mississippi college campuses.

Bon appétit!

Source: nytimes.com

“Treasure State,” you are becoming a gay treasure!

Source: greatfallstribune.com

Minneapolis, MN - Pro-Gay Punter Kluwe Files Lawsuit Against Homophobia in Vikings - 7.18 Former Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe said he plans to file a lawsuit against the team after negotiations on a settlement broke down. Kluwe had said he would sue if the Vikings did not release a full copy of an independent investigation into the punter’s claims that special teams coordinator Mike Priefer made homophobic remarks during the 2012 season and that the team released Kluwe in May 2013 for his support of same-sex marriage.

Hollywood, CA - TV’s Two and a Half Men To Have Gay Twist - 7.17 CBS Entertainment Chairman Nina Tassler revealed that the final season of Two and a Half Men, Chuck Lorre’s long-running comedy, would include a fake gay relationship between Walden (Ashton Kutcher) and Alan (Jon Cryer), which they undertake in order to adopt a child—a new half man (or woman).

“Walden is going to have a major health scare and it is going to give him a little bit of an existential crisis,” Tassler told reporters after her executive session at the Television Critics Association’s fall previews. “He wants to find a way to add more meaning to his life, so he decides he wants to adopt a child. In doing so, he starts the process and he realizes that it’s very difficult, to adopt a child as a single, straight man. So, once and for all, he decides, ‘I’m going to propose to Alan, we’re going to get married and adopt a child as a gay couple.’”’

Though Tassler believed the storyline would send a “positive statement” and she wouldn’t receive backlash from the LGBTQ community, some are criticizing Men for exploiting rights the community has fought so hard to obtain and, in some states, still do not have. When asked if the LGBTQ community might object, Tassler demurred. “It’s a very positive statement. It’s like, ‘I am going to adopt a child as a gay couple.’ The reality is, he can do that. In a universe where at one point you couldn’t do that and now you can do that, that’s a much more positive statement that he’s making.”

Kluwe’s attorney, Clayton Halunen, said Priefer would be suspended for his conduct, but that the suspension would not meet Kluwe’s request of a four-to-eight game ban. Halunen and Kluwe had asked for the Vikings to donate $1 million to charities that support LGBTQ-friendly causes. According to the punter, however, the Vikings offered to donate just $100,000, and declined to release the full report, informing Kluwe’s attorney they would not accept Kluwe’s settlement terms.

“The settlement is completely off the table,” Kluwe said. “The way they’ve gone about this entire business is unacceptable to (anyone who knows) what transparency actually means. I think it shows there is a culture there that needs to be changed. They said, all along, they’d go about this in an openly transparent manner. But when they get the report, they clam up and don’t want to release the full version.”

Halunen said the punter could expect to receive up to $10 million in damages (mostly donated to LGBTQ charities) for religious and human rights discrimination, defamation, tortious interference with contractual relations and emotional stress damages, since, he said, Kluwe’s punting career was likely over.

GLAAD declined to comment directly on the story line until seeing the finished product, but Sarah Kate Ellis, the organization’s president and CEO, released a statement in response: “We hope the show will acknowledge not only the progress made in acceptance of gay and lesbian couples, but also the fact that—in many areas of the country—same-sex couples are often under greater scrutiny or still barred from adoption options that straight couples have.”

The attorney said he planned to file the lawsuit in Minnesota state court, and would ask for a full copy of the report as part of the discovery process. “They will fight over it,” Halunen said. “If they are required to give it to me, they’ll try to do it under a protective order, but I’m going to fight to keep it public.”

And, hey, kudos to the show for including a strong openly lesbian character!

It needs mentioning that much earlier, the National Center for Lesbian Rights awarded Kluwe “The Bad-Ass of the Year” trophy for his pro-LGBTQ activism.

Source: espn.go.com

Source: tvguide.com

Washington, D.C. - President Obama Bars Discrimination Against LGBTQ Employees - 7.21 President Obama has signed an executive order banning federal contractors from discriminating against LGBTQ workers. The order also makes clear that federal employees, who were already explicitly protected from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, are protected from gender identity discrimination as well. Presidential executive orders have been used for 70 years to ensure that employers that receive federal money cannot discriminate based on characteristics such as race, gender, and religion.

According to a study by the Williams Institute, Monday’s executive order will provide 11 million employees with protection against sexual orientation discrimination and 16 million employees with additional protection against discrimination based on gender identity. It will also ensure that there are at least some workplaces in every state with explicit protections for LGBTQ workers. This is especially critical for transgender and gender nonconforming people: 78% report mistreatment or discrimination at the workplace, forcing many to hide who they are to prevent these abuses.

The executive order builds on the foundation of protection already provided in federal law under Title VII that covers every state’s transgender and gender nonconforming workers who are with companies that have 15 or more employees.

The executive order provides much needed clarity to federal contractors and agencies. President Obama sent a clear message to employers who receive federal money that it is unacceptable for them to discriminate because of who someone is or whom they love.

Thankfully, the order does not contain any new exemption language that would permit religiously affiliated employers to discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Rather, it simply adds sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of characteristics already protected from discrimination, and leaves intact a Bush-era exemption that permits religious organizations to discriminate in favor of fellow members of their faith.

We are more energized than ever to continue making sure that queers are able to live free from discrimination everywhere, all the time. There is a lot more work to do before we all have jobs, good health care, and safety on the streets.

Source: transgenderlawcenter.org

Local News Briefs Governor Brown Signs Bill Enshrining Freedom to Marry in State Statutes

Bay Area Activists Call for End to Ban against Gay and Bi Male Blood Donors

Governor Jerry Brown has signed Senate Bill 1306, authored by Senator Mark Leno and co-sponsored by Attorney General Kamala D. Harris, Equality California and the National Center for Lesbian Rights. The bill will bring California statutory law into line with the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2013 decision restoring the freedom to marry in California.

The Federal Drug Administration (FDA) bans gay and bisexual men from donating blood. For this reason, a nationwide blood drive took place to bring attention to the ban and help save lives. Gay and bisexual men in the Bay Area joined thousands nationwide to show their willingness to contribute by bringing allies to donate in their place.

SB 1306 updates state law as was directed by the 2008 In Re Marriage Cases decision from the state Supreme Court. While both the California and U.S. Supreme Courts have affirmed the right for samesex couples to marry, current state laws in many cases do not reflect that change. SB 1306 ensures that references to “husband” and “wife” will be replaced with gender-neutral language, such as “spouse,” to recognize all married couples throughout the California code.

Volunteers and protesters showed up in droves—many proudly wearing red National Gay Blood Drive t-shirts—at a bloodmobile outside San Francisco City Hall from noon to 4pm. They also signed the White House Petition to End the Gay Blood Ban, in part stating: “The current lifetime deferral focuses on sexual orientation, and we are calling on the FDA to change its policy so that it focuses on sexual behavior and individual risk instead.”

“I am pleased Governor Brown has recognized the importance of this bill, which makes it explicitly clear in state law that every loving couple has the right to marry in California,” said Senator Leno. “This legislation removes outdated and biased language from state codes and recognizes all married spouses equally, regardless of their gender.”

In 2010, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services agreed that the ban on MSM (men who have sex with men) blood donations was “suboptimal,” but kept it in place pending additional research to “create a road map forward.”

“While we have achieved many milestones in the journey towards full equality for LGBT people—including the freedom to marry for same-sex couples—it’s important that we completely erase discrimination from the books,” said Rick Zbur, EQCA executive director-elect. “This new law will take us one step further in that journey. We applaud Senator Leno for authoring this important legislation and Governor Brown for signing it.”

“We are grateful for Senator Leno’s legislation that will ensure the fair and equal treatment of all married couples in California,” said National Center for Lesbian Rights Executive Director Kate Kendell.

“Although there is no question that same-sex couples can marry in California, the discriminatory language that remains on the statutory books creates confusion about the rights of same-sex couples. This law makes it clear to everyone that same-sex couples can marry and that all spouses have the exact same rights and responsibilities under the law, regardless of gender.”

SB 1306 officially becomes law on January 1, 2015.

Story by Dennis McMillan 4

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The American Medical Association opposes the ban, saying it is not based on sound science. The blood donation organizations believe the rule should be modified to reflect the deferrals for other similar high-risk sexual behavior. 85 members of Congress, including our local activist members, have written to HHS to encourage its end.

One mother said she came to donate blood in honor of her gay daughter and all other gay and bisexual couples. “Donating blood for this great cause brings tears to my eyes, but a smile to my heart, knowing that I am helping to send a message.”

But another woman who wanted to participate as an ally noted, “I learned I wouldn’t have been able to participate because I’m married to a bisexual man and am not allowed to give blood either.”

One activist held a placard stating, “A community that has lost so much, and fought for so much more, shouldn’t have to fight to give back!”

Story by Dennis McMillan

HIV/AIDS Researcher Joep Lange Helped to Save Millions of Lives ers to attend that year’s conference of the International AIDS Society, scheduled to happen in Boston. Defiant Lange moved the entire event to the Netherlands, so that all who wanted to could attend.

Lange also advocated for women’s health rights. For example, he strongly encouraged researchers to develop female-controlled prevention technologies that do not require the male partner’s consent. He also conducted some of the earliest research on how to pre- Glenn Thomas

vent HIV-positive women from transmitting the virus to their infants.

The Dutch researcher headed the Department of Global Health at the University of Amsterdam, following over 30 years of work as both a doctor and a clinical researcher. He pioneered treatment efforts in Thailand and Africa, always noting where caseloads of the virus were high and then directing his attention to these regions.

PHOTO SOURC E: WORL D HEALT H ORG.

Such an impassioned statement was characteristic of Lange, 61, who died in the Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 crash last week. He constantly monitored advances in antiretroviral therapy (ART) that suppresses the HIV virus and stops the progression of HIV disease. He was among the first to see the value of this treatment, encourage its use, and to lobby for the accessibility of ART medications for all in need of them.

P HOTO SO URC E : AIG H D. O RG

“There is a disturbing misconception that ‘access for all’ is just a challenge for the developing world,” said Joep Lange, former President of the International AIDS Society, in 2004. “Access to optimal combination therapy remains an urgent issue in the west where alarming levels of resistance to HIV therapies is a ticking time bomb. While people continue to die from AIDS in the western world—with more than 15,000 patients dying in the US in 2003 alone—there is an urgent need to use all drugs currently available to provide the most effective combination treatment for patients.”

Thirteen years later, Lange was a key participant at the conference “Bridging the Sciences: HIV Vaccine Research and Drug Development.”

Lange was always building bridges— between researchers, activists, politicians, the media, non-profits, and the public. His partner, Jacqueline van Tongeren, shared his work and advocacy interests. The former HIV/AIDS clinical research nurse also died in last week’s crash that additionally claimed the lives of World Health Organization spokesman Glenn Thomas, lobbyist Pim de Kuijer, program manager Martine de Schutter from the Netherlands AIDS Fund, and 293 other victims.

President Barack Obama said of the losses, “In this world today, we shouldn’t forget that in the midst of conflict and killing, there are people like these, people who are focused on what can be built, rather than what can be destroyed; people who are focused on how they can help people that they’ve never met; people who define themselves not by what makes them different from other people, but by the humanity that we hold in common.”

His decisions were not always popular. He had to fight certain activists to push forward with many drug trials.

In 1992, when fear of HIV/AIDS was rampant, the U.S. government refused to allow HIV-positive foreign-

Contributions of Lucie van Mens to Women’s Health ‘Were Beyond Measure’

“Her contributions to FHC were beyond measure. She was the driving force behind the dedicated female condom programs of our partners in Ghana (SWAA), Kenya (MCDF), Malawi (The Hunger Project), Mozambique (Pathfinder), South Africa (SUPPORT), Zimbabwe (ZNFPC) and Zambia (ZHECT).

Lucie was persistent in her quest to improve the sexual health of women

PHOTO S OURCE: THE F EM ALE HEALTH COM OPAN Y

Lucie van Mens, Director of Program Development and Support for The Female Health Company, developer of FC2 female condoms to safeguard against HIV, was yet another victim of the Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 tragedy. Her colleagues at FHC issued the following statement upon hearing of her death:

and their families worldwide. She combined her drive, dedication and talents with a down-to-earth and hands-on approach. It was important to Lucie that these programs were tuned into the local context.

She always made sure that the skills and preferences of our local partners were valued and, together with her knowledge and extensive experience in programming, she helped them shape successful strategies to increase access to FC2 female condoms. She was passionate, determined and committed to making the female condom a tool that every woman at risk of HIV and unintended pregnancy could access. The Female Health Company will continue the female condom programs that she so carefully nurtured.

Lucie was an amazing and an inspiring person. She will be remembered and greatly missed. Our thoughts and prayers go to her partner, Gerd de Rycker, and all her family and friends at this tragic and difficult time.”

New HIV Prevention Recommendations Combine Biomedical and Behavioral Approaches New guidelines for preventing HIV have just been published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. They integrate both cutting-edge biomedical advances and evidence-based behavioral interventions for the care of people living with HIV or who are at high risk for HIV infection. They are based on a comprehensive review of data that was either published or presented at scientific conferences over the past 17 years.

Accord ing to t he recommendations, the availability of combination antiretroviral therapy (ART) has changed the lives of millions of individuals living with HIV, transforming HIV from a fatal infection to a manageable chronic disease. But while the incidence of new HIV-1 infections worldwide has decreased by

an estimated 33 percent since 2001, it still remains high—approximately 2.3 million new infections occurred in 2012. In the United States alone, approximately 50,000 new infections occur each year—a number that has remained largely unchanged since the 1990s.

“We are at a time where scientific advances in HIV allow us to effectively implement interventions that could stop HIV transmission,” says Carlos del Rio, chair of the Department of Global Health at the Rollins School of Public Health at Emory University.

“But the success of both biomedical and behavioral HIV prevention measures depends on clinicians’ ability and willingness to implement them.”

“These guidelines provide a practical, science-based approach that any

clinician can implement,” says David Holtgrave, chair of the Department of Health, Behavior and Society at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. “They are designed to promote the integration of the best available services—both behavioral and biomedical—and to create a clear pathway to access these services and realize their full benefit.”

The panel’s recommendations include the following: All adults and adolescents should be tested at least once for HIV, with repeated testing for those at increased risk of acquiring HIV. Clinicians should be alert to the possibility of acute HIV infection and (continued on page 22) BAY T IM ES JuLY 24, 2014

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Let’s Not Go It Alone: Finding Hope Through Connections cisco State University, I learned that progress has been made, especially in terms of programs designed to support the younger LGBTQ population.

Unfortunately, we still have little data that accurately reflects the number of deaths by suicide for the adult and older adult LGBT population. Few studies identify best practices for LGBT suicide prevention services.

Aging in Community Patrick Arbore, Ed.D.

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Honoring Our Hero: Remembering Jose Julio Sarria Tuesday, August 19, 7pm Benefit for Openhouse rememberingjose.eventbrite.com (See ad on Page 11)

Not long ago, an aging gay man in his 70’s shared with me his grief over the death of his cherished partner, who died as a result of HIV/AIDS in the 1990’s. Although his partner died almost twenty years ago, he was now experiencing intense feelings of loss. He said, “I couldn’t deal with his death back then. There were so many friends who died. No one was prepared to handle so many deaths.

I shut down, drank, and stumbled through the next decade.” He continued, “It’s bad enough now to be old, but to be ugly too is unbearable. I think about him all the time and want to join him. I know I can kill myself.

Why am I still here?”

Sadly, this man’s story is not unique.

While reasons vary, in terms of suicidal ideation, the disturbing thought is that older LGTB adults are vulnerable to suicidal behavior. In the 2013 citywide survey on the needs of the LGBT older population in San Francisco, 15% of the participants in the study reported that they had seriously considered suicide in the last 12 months.

Having created the Center for Elderly Suicide Prevention and Grief Related Services, and maintaining the 24-hour Friendship Line crisis intervention service for older adults and younger disabled adults, I am, and continue to be, intensely concerned about preventing death by suicide. As an older gay man myself, I am aware of the unique issues related to my sexual orientation.

As a presenter and participant at the LGBTQ Suicide Prevention Conference held in March at San Fran-

We can help that older gay man who finds himself isolated from a community in which he, in his youth, found love and acceptance. We can reach out to him, and others like him, to connect and to remind him that he is still a vital part of our community, our history and our legacy. Connections are what bind us to life and offer us the support we need to manage the heartbreaks that occurred in our pasts so that we can face the uncertainties in our futures.

The New Old Gay Epidemic LGBTQI folks are more likely to be smokers compared to straight folks.

The Huffington Post recently called cigarette smoking the “New Gay Epidemic.” Although it’s actually an old epidemic, the current facts are shocking.

Dr. Naomi Jay, RN, NP, PhD Here’s a little known fact about me: I used to smoke two packs of cigarettes, Camel filter or Export A, daily during my college years in Canada.

It was pretty hard-core. I quit over 30 years ago, and have not taken a puff since. I’ll share more about that later…

Despite how passé smoking is in the general community, it is not so in our community. It is well known that BAY TIMES JuLY 2 4 , 2 0 1 4

Through early intervention and prevention, we can hopefully identify the grief, depression, substance abuse, loneliness and other factors that contribute to suicide risk and suicide death. If we are going to reduce suicidal ideation and suicide death in the older LGBT community, we will need to insist that health, mental health, and other city-wide services do all they can to advocate for nondiscrimination and protection for LGBT people.

• Openhouse: 415-296-8995 openhouse-sf.org/ • Family Caregiver Alliance: 415-434-3388 www.caregiver.org • Institute on Aging: 415-7504111, www.ioaging.org/ • National Resource Center on LGBT Aging www.lgbtagingcenter.org/ • Project Open Hand San Francisco: Nutrition Services, 415-447-2300 www.openhand.org/ • SAGE: 212-741-2247 www.sageusa.org/about/ • Shanti Project, Inc: HIV Services and Life Threatening Illnesses, 415-674-4700 www.shanti.org/ Alzheimer’s Association Programs and Services: • 24/7 Helpline: 1-800-2723900, www.alz.org/norcal/; Online Community: www. alzheimersblog.org/lgbt-forum • Memory Clinic, Kaiser Permanente Santa Clara Medical Center: 408-5306900, mydoctor.kaiserpermanente.org/ncal/facilities/region/santaclara/area_master/ departments/memoryclinic/ index.jsp

Dr. Marcy Adelman oversees the Aging in Community column. For her summary of current LGBT senior challenges and opportunities, please go to: sf baytimes.com/challenges-andopportunties

Patrick Arbore, Ed.D., is Founder and Director of the Center for Elderly Suicide Prevention & Grief Related Services, a program of the Institute on Aging. The 24-hour Friendship Line’s number is 800-971-0016.

Health News

Friends of Naomi

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In the meantime, how can we respond to this urgent public health problem?

First, we have to increase our awareness about suicide death in the LGBT community by encouraging researchers to investigate the risks and protective factors associated with LGBT older adults. Second, we need to understand the challenges that older LGBT people of differing racial and ethnic backgrounds face as they age.

Third, we must find ways to deal with disparity in our health care systems and our long-term care institutions when LGBT individuals need these services. Fourth, we must challenge prejudice and discrimination that exist in many segments of the LGBT community as well as in the heterosexual community. Such problems include ageism, racism, gender discrimination, homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia. These are just some of the internalized and externalized beliefs that harm all of us.

LGBT Resources for Seniors

Nationally, one third of LGBTQI people smoke. This is 68% higher than the general population. Even in California, where it is super uncool to smoke, a lot more of us smoke (nearly 30%) compared to straight people (18%). Most individuals start smoking as teenagers. Among our youth (when surveys include sexuality questions), smoking is two times higher among our teen boys and four times higher among our girls.

Everyone knows it’s ‘bad’ to smoke.

But did you know that smoking is even a bigger health problem for gay men than HIV-AIDS? Here are the numbers: Close to 500,000 LGBTQI Americans are HIV positive and 2.3 million are smokers. Those who smoke and are HIV-positive lose 12.3 years off their life’s expectancy com-

pared to 5.1 years for anyone else who merely smokes. As a community, we spend nearly 8 billion dollars a year on tobacco. Surely we have better ways to spend our money and time here on Earth.

There are unique factors that contribute to this problem, including the bar culture (not that anyone can smoke in bars anymore), stress, social stigma and discrimination. These latter factors are responsible for increased levels of mental health issues such as depression and PTSD, all of which contribute to higher levels of smoking in general. However, I would postulate that an additional factor is that our culture tolerates smoking. So many of us do it that it’s perceived as not uncool; it’s inevitable.

There are many ways to quit smoking. Numerous programs—online, at home, or in classes—are available.

Pharmaceuticals and over-the-counter items like nicotine gum, lozenges and vapors are possibilities too. Some smokers transition to electronic cigarettes, known as e-cigarettes. You can also just do it alone and go cold turkey. Just remember that nicotine is (continued on page 22)

BAY T IM ES JuLY 24, 2014

7

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman Co-Founders in 1978

Depression and Meditation

Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-601-2113 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 Phone: 510-504-9255 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com

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Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT Q: I have been suffering from depression for many years and have experienced some relief from psychotherapy and medication. I’ve recently started meditating every day, and it’s really improved the way I feel. What do you think about using mind-training techniques like meditation to cure depression?

A: Meditation is probably the oldest technique for treating mental suffering. I don’t believe that, alone, it’s an adequate treatment for the most severe forms of clinical depression, but I do believe that it can be a very effective tool use in addition to what you’re already doing.

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I also have some personal experience with using meditation to treat depression. Some years ago, after a painful break-up with a partner, I turned to mindfulness meditation practice to find relief from the depression and grief. The practice involved not trying to change anything; not trying to move toward pleasure or away from pain, but simply to be aware of whatever was happening in the present moment. We spend most of our waking moments trying to maximize pleasure and minimize pain, but meditation is a radical departure from our usual habits. Instead of trying to change our emotional states, we simply give a full and accepting attention to what’s actually happening.

One of the first things I learned during this period was that depression is a highly stigmatized condition. Most of us feel somewhat ashamed of being depressed, and we usually treat it as if it’s an enemy we have to defeat. But times of depression can be important and valuable. Some periods of depression are signs that something about our old way of life is no longer working. They’re invitations to become inward and quiet, to reflect on things we’ve taken for granted, and to imagine new values and new possibilities.

In this sense, it isn’t the enemy, but a teacher, with the potential to deepen us. There are times when we just can’t “think things through” with our ra-

tional minds. But when the mind becomes very still and quiet, we achieve an intimacy with ourselves that can’t be found any other way. Quiet, attentive listening opens us to an intuitive understanding of our deeper feelings and needs.

I found that regular meditation could be very effective in stabilizing moods and achieving emotional balance.

One reason is that when we sit still and watch our experience without trying to change it, it becomes clear that every mental state arises and passes away. Nothing is permanent and fixed; no pain—and no happiness—lasts forever. When we come to understand that emotional states come and go like the weather, we begin to be less fearful of our negative emotions. We take them more in stride, and feel less driven to run away from them.

Another invaluable discovery is that there’s a natural, quiet peace and happiness available to all of us, no matter what the outward circumstances of our lives. Meditation doesn’t produce this happiness; it’s a background state that is always there. But it’s quiet and subtle, and easily drowned out by the mental busyness and agitation of daily life. However, once we make contact with this state of inner calm, it becomes an invaluable refuge in times of stress and difficulty.

Beginners in meditation often find the practice difficult and challenging at first, and it takes sustained effort and patience to establish the habit.

Several things can be helpful: 1. Meditate with others. Take a meditation class or practice with a group that regularly sits together. Without support from others, it’s almost impossible to establish yourself in regular practice.

2. Don’t overdo it. Start with just a few minutes daily. If you can begin or end your day with just five minutes of quiet meditation, you’re on your way. Gradually, you can lengthen the time as you acquire the taste for the practice.

3. Try to meditate in the same place and at the same time every day. If you can, set aside one place in your home that is for meditation and nothing else.

4. Be patient! Progress in meditation is measured in months and years, not days and weeks. But the good news is that, while the positive effects of meditation develop slowly, they are cumulative and reliable.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit tommoon.net

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PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

Bay Area native Patrick Dintino describes himself as a an artist who uses the spectrum painting technique. Dintino’s sculpture “Open Heart” was installed at Pier 39, and is the latest in San Francisco General Hospital’s The Hearts of SF project.

Beautiful mentioned two lines have remained in my psyche because of this latent truism: Is my loved one beautiful or is she beautiful because I love her?

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BAY TIMES JuLY 2 4 , 2 0 1 4

Speak Up! Speak Out! Laugh Often!

Karen Williams, M.Ed Do I love you because you’re beautiful?

Or are you beautiful because I love you?

Johnny Mathis One of the things I love about technology is being able to recapture elements of my young life that affected me, like the music. One night I listened to, watched and enjoyed Johnny Mathis on my iPhone until dawn.

I recalled that, as a young girl, I heard his romantic verses as they resonated down the long hall from my dad’s record player. The afore-

Perhaps the lines resonate with the old adage that “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Admittedly, there is a high price placed on physical beauty in our culture, and in gay life, in particular. I recall seeing a film, shown as an introduction to my undergraduate studies, which accented the effects that “good” looks have on a person’s ability to advance in a career. It postulated that persons endowed with good looks were more likely to be employed and to advance in their work lives. I have to admit that when I watched the movie, I was a wee bit appalled by the subtle, yet harsh, truth of the implication that how one looks could, in fact, impact one’s life and its trajectory.

Over the years, I’ve become acculturated to peer beneath the surface for qualities that def ine inner beauty, like kindness, compassion, generosity, sincerity, warmth, and good humor. These qualities affect the heart that is, after all, where true

beauty resides. A Buddhist saying attests to this axiom when it states that the most important pursuit in life is not treasures of the storehouse or material possessions nor treasures of the body—physical attributes—but treasures of the heart.

Our capacity for love matters, as does mutual respect and consideration. Cultivating love broadens our appreciation for others as well as for ourselves. The experience of love brings out our own inner beauty.

One interesting observation that I’ve made is that laughing together makes everyone look attractive.

Radiant smiles, sparkling eyes, and belly laughter spark connection and deepen intimacy. Certainly these

attributes contribute to a sense that our loved one is beautiful, and is a precious sight to behold!

So the lyrics sung by Johnny and other love balladeers cause us to think about love and beauty in ways that awaken our hearts to what is really important. After all, in this life it really is the heart that matters. I’d go as far as to say that beauty is in the heart of the beholder.

Be beautiful!

Karen Williams feels beautiful most of the time...inside and out. For more information about Karen and her work, please visit www.hahainstitute.com

Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow

Barack Says, Take One Big Step Forward President Obama has added sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of groups that have been protected against discrimination by federal contractors since the Nixon years. Federal contractors employ about a fifth of the nation’s workforce, some 28 million people, so the move is significant.

GLBT groups have been pressuring the POTUS for this executive order for some time now, and President Obama announced his plans to sign such an order several weeks ago. After the High Court’s annoying, and potentially dangerous, Hobby Lobby ruling, a large group of our adversaries began mewling about this proposed executive order, begging the President to add a bunch of extra religious exemptions that would have turned this important new policy into a meaningless gesture. Happily, Obama declined to do so, although a few Bush Two exemptions still remain for churches and some other employers. Most importantly, however, there are no ridiculous exceptions for, let’s say, private companies run by religious nutcases.

It’s critical to note that over the last two decades, corporate America has been something of a gay rights juggernaut. The vast majority of Fortune 500 companies already ban sexual orientation discrimination, as do 86 percent of the top 50 federal contractors, which in turn represent half the total contracted business of the U.S. government. As for trans bias, without going into detail, there is reason to argue that gender identity is already protected under federal law based on court interpretations of Title VII’s ban on sex discrimination.

we might as well f ight for a strong losing cause rather than one with fatal f laws. Above all, in this day and age, we should be fighting to include sexual orientation and gender identity in existing federal law rather than carving out a special stand-alone bill, one that can be manipulated to isolate us against the rules that govern every other marginalized class.

Hardback Choices There’s a slew of marriage news this week that, when combined with the nondiscrimination order, makes for a fairly tedious, albeit positive, column.

I was excited to see a headline about Tom Cruise gay rumors but, unfortunately, like Oakland, there was no there there.

I think that quote is unfair to Oakland, personally. But maybe there was less there there back in the day.

I also read about a double gay murder in Seattle, but although it would have served as a change of pace from policy and law, I found the story depressing.

What’s a girl to do? Do any of us even care about Tom Cruise to begin with?

I have an unpleasant impression of the man, and I hate that he was cast as one of my favorite fictional characters, Jack Reacher. Reacher is big. He is strong, enigmatic, unassuming, yet a champion of the underdog. Cruise seems to be small, insecure, controlling and, ironically, easily led. The anti-Jack Reacher, if you will.

Speaking of reading, Mel and I went to a river cabin for a couple of days last week and I took along Hillary Clinton’s new book as my only reading material. I regretted this at once, sitting on a cool river beach watching Mel fish with this giant tome in my lap and a couple of Mexican beers.

But here’s the thing. There’s a reason for the old expression “don’t make a federal case out of it.” Yes, trans bias has increasingly been recognized as an offshoot of the sex bias that is impermissible under Title VII. But who wants to file a lengthy, expensive federal lawsuit? Under the executive order, any future problems will be resolved under established Labor Department guidelines. Better yet, companies doing business with the United States will be on notice that discrimination based on gender identity will be a deal breaker.

Dutifully, I waded through the first chapter and to my surprise found myself quite riveted by the rest of it, which I finished in two days. Embarrassingly, the reason I liked it so much is that it filled in the many gaps in my knowledge of recent international events. Yes, I vaguely remembered that Chinese guy who fled to the U.S. embassy, various captured hikers, pissing contests with Iran, our NATO led air attack on Libya, etc. etc. But beyond the superf icial facts, I was fairly oblivious. And I certainly had no knowledge of the inside details.

In short, the executive order is a step ahead for gays and lesbians, but a giant step ahead for transgender men and women. In a second order, Obama also banned trans discrimination in the federal workforce. Bill Clinton had earlier added sexual orientation to the protected classes of federal employees.

I also underestimated the role of Secretary of State, which I guess I thought consisted of f lying around, having talks, repeating official U.S. talking points, going to events and running a big bureaucracy. Of course, the book was designed to show Clinton in a good light, but it really really succeeded! Now I’m afraid that half the problems around the world are due to John Kerry, because Clinton would have come up with last minute heroics to defuse every situation and f lip it around to our favor. Like Tom Cruise and Scientology, I’ve been seduced into the cult of Clinton. Anyway, I recommend it. Seriously. It’s also well written.

Is It Finally the End a ENDA? Meanwhile, almost all of the main LGBT groups have now backed away from the Employment Nondiscrimination Act, realizing en masse that this weak bill could actually do more harm than good for GBLT workers.

If ENDA’s religious loopholes were to become embedded into federal law, GLBT discrimination would not just be outside the law as it is now. It would be legitimized; etched into the books themselves.

Then, when you factor in the possible down side of the Hobby Lobby decision, which allowed private companies to insist on religious accommodations, the prospect of widespread GLBT discrimination under ENDA loomed even larger.

We know that ENDA is not going anywhere in this Congress anyway. If we’re going to fight for a losing cause,

I gather some GLBT activists are annoyed with Hillary, who dallied around before finally coming out in favor of marriage equality. Listen, I have done my share of condemning wishy-washy politicians in the past.

And yes, a lot of our allies spent a lot of time with their toes in the water before joining us. But come on. They’re all swimming now. The Democrats, I mean.

Hmm. Now What Shall We Talk About?

Okay, Marriage. Here are the top headlines:

Professional Services First, the state of Utah has decided to forgo asking for a full court review of the Tenth Circuit’s marriage ruling, and appeal directly to the High Court. This increases the likelihood that the Supreme Court will rule on marriage next summer. It’s great news.

Second, the Tenth Circuit issued a 2-1 ruling striking the marriage ban in Oklahoma, as expected.

Third, various clerks in Colorado, which is covered by the Tenth Circuit, decided to offer marriage licenses based on the fact that their governing federal appellate court had ruled in favor of equality. In addition, a state court judge in Denver ruled that the state marriage ban was unconstitutional, but put his ruling on hold. That did not stop Denver clerks from issuing licenses, which they proceeded to do until the state supreme court told them to stop.

I gather that other Colorado clerks are continuing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples but, to be honest, the entire situation in Colorado now confuses me.

Fourth, a state judge in Monroe County, Florida, legalized marriage for the Key West area, but also stayed his ruling.

Fifth, the Supreme Court has put a stay on a federal court ruling that ordered Utah to recognize all the marriages that took place during the three-week window of opportunity last winter. Those marriages were recognized by the federal government, but not by the state.

Sixth (I told you there were a lot of marriage headlines), the U.S. of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit seems poised to combine the Indiana and Wisconsin cases and move directly to a review by the entire court. This would not be good. Of the ten active judges on the court, seven were nominated by Republicans and three were nominated by Democrats. One of those Republicans, the venerable Richard Posner, defies pigeonholes and is arguably on the side of equality.

I’m not sure about the others, but let’s just say that it might be a heavy lift to get the full court on our side.

The court has yet to decide what to do, but suspiciously, the court cancelled previously scheduled oral arguments in order to discuss whether or not to skip over the usual three-judge panel and go straight to the full bench.

Please forgive me if I’ve forgotten anything. At this point, I’m waiting for the Fourth Circuit to rule on the Virginia case. Next month, we have a big day of oral arguments before the Sixth. In September, we’ve got oral arguments before the Ninth. Who knows what’s happening in the Seventh? And the Fifth Circuit is straggling along like a toddler ordered to leave the playground. The timeline won’t really matter once Utah petitions the High Court and once the Court decides whether or not to dive in.

• • • • • • • •

SCOTUS Won’t Duck Speaking of the High Court and marriage equality, I have read a number of articles speculating about whether or not the Supremes will accept a marriage case for review this year, or whether they might not wait until several appellate courts have delivered their opinions. I even heard a legal correspondent suggest that the whole issue of marriage equality might be settled in a piecemeal fashion, as the various appellate courts rule one by one in our favor. (continued on page 22)

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BAY T IM ES JuLY 24, 2014

9

@Home in the Wine Country It’s still a great time to buy!

Real Estate and Design

Perchance to Dream have many more buyers than we do sellers. Using statistics from the California Association of REALTORs (CAR), I can see that the number of sales from year to year has continued to slip. June 2014 saw a 3.7% dip from the same period last year, for example. There’s just not enough to sell.

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Mark Penn I don’t often talk about the luxury real estate market, primarily because “luxury” means different things to different people. It’s also a fact that high-end living is something that most of us don’t get to see up close and personal. The luxury market in real estate can, however, be interesting to contemplate and dream about.

It’s not news that the Bay Area has been suffering from a lack of real estate inventory across the board. We have seen this deficit for over a year now. While prices have continued to climb (the Bay Area median price for a home in May rose by 10% from May of 2013), it does appear that this general dearth of inventory is showing some signs of easing, although we still

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At the higher end, CAR reports from their annual “Luxury Consumer Survey” that, while the overall number of sales declined overall by 8.4% in 2013 from the previous year, the number of sales of homes over $1 million rose a whopping 35.5%. Who are these people?! Well, according to the CAR survey, it appears that the average luxury buyer is a 46-year-old single white male who makes over $350,000 a year.

Seventy-four percent of luxury real estate clients in 2013 had at least a 4-year college degree, and 35% of the luxury homebuyer community paid for their homes with all cash. As an aside, 5% of the statewide luxury market was comprised of international buyers.

It was also easier to purchase a luxury home than a “traditional valued” home, assuming one had the resources. Those buyers who didn’t pay cash found it relatively easy to qualify for a mortgage. While the typical nonluxury homebuyer made a median number of three offers on properties before prevailing on securing a home,

Make Your Move (Or Don’t) that’s a bad time to buy. Just landed a sweet gig at a local tech firm? Perfect.

Just find that secret back way to the Google Bus stop and you’re all set!

Real Estate Taylor Sublett One of the questions we get asked the most in this business is, “Is this the good time to buy?” The askers are, of course, referring to the real estate market in general. Are prices on their way up or down? What is happening with interest rates? Buyers get very concerned about the macro real estate market. While the overall market is important, the better question to ask is, “Is this a good time for me to buy?”

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BAY TIMES JuLY 2 4 , 2 0 1 4

My first response is: “How long are you planning to live at your next address?” If the answer is less than 5 years, then you probably shouldn’t buy. Real estate markets f luctuate, and when you need to move the next time, you may need to do so relatively quickly. Your best hedge against price fluctuations is to have a decent amount of equity in your property and give a reasonable amount of time for some appreciation to have taken place. Five years is the minimum, in my view, and ten is even better. If you are recently out of grad school,

Having a Plan B for you new home can help with this as well. Maybe you think you will only be somewhere for two or three years, but you were planning on having some rental property someday anyway. If you are ready to take on being a landlord at some point, then that will also help you hedge your bets against the vagaries of the real estate. Rental property is a great way to diversify your stock-heavy portfolio.

Second question: Do you need a tax break? Now that you’ve got that highpaying job that has given you the wherewithal to buy, I bet you’ve also noticed that you are in a magical new tax bracket called “much higher.” If you are looking for write-offs, one of the biggest and best is the Mortgage Interest Tax Deduction. You also get a deduction on your property taxes.

I have a recent client who was paying $3,600 a month for a bottom f loor, two-bedroom unit in Cole Valley (cute but dark and cold). He just closed on an $875,000 house in Potrero Hill.

(Yay! Sunshine!) His mortgage, taxes and insurance total about $4,600, but he will also be getting a tax benefit in the neighborhood of $1,000. So now he owns his bright, sunny house for the same monthly expense as he was paying in rent. With rents in the Bay Area on the rise, it’s worth considering if that inflated monthly payment should be going to your landlord’s retirement fund or to your own longterm retirement planning.

the more fortunate luxury buyer only had to make one offer to succeed.

Coldwell Banker’s luxury marketing arm, known as “Previews,” reported in April a 36% increase in number of sales of Silicon Valley properties valued at more than $2 million when compared to the same period in 2013.

East Bay sales of homes over $1 million rose by 38%. In Marin County, sales of homes over $2 million rose by 37%.

Indications are that buyers in these ranges are making more strategic moves as they have more properties to choose from, and are often willing to pay for that privilege. With respect again to the Silicon Valley market, the average luxury home there sold for 10% over the asking price, and in a lightning fast nineteen days.

The average buyer of Bay Area real estate would, in most cases, be considered a “luxury home buyer” around much of the rest of the country, simply based on our price points. A home valued north of $1 million by any standard, though, is something that many, if not most, of us cannot afford.

A Bay Area native, Mark Penn has been a REALTOR® with Coldwell Banker since 2004. He is also active in animal welfare, and is a former educator, facilitator, and air traffic controller. Mark can be reached at mark@MyHomeInSonoma.com.

Next up, are you going to squeeze out or bring home any kids in the next couple of years? That’s an important time to think about moving up. Family planning is usually something that one or more spouses are not willing to leave to the whims of the real estate market.

A pregnant woman is generally not one to wait for the next dip or spike in the real estate cycle. When adoptions go through, that can be entirely on their own schedule. You will either want to be prepared, or you’ll be hustling to figure things out.

This last question is so obvious that it is often missed in plain sight: Do you want to be a homeowner? Along with all the practical considerations of taxes, kids, and jobs, buying a home is a lifestyle choice. It’s a different stage of life than being a renter. You don’t have to deal with a landlord anymore, but there’s also no one to call when the toilet backs up. You are taking on something big, something new and something that will be all yours.

That is both exciting and terrifying.

At some point, when you are ready to buy, it will be more the former than the latter. It will be time for you to say, “This place is mine,” and have it feel overwhelming, unbelievable and, most of all, wonderful.

Taylor Sublett, a life-long Bay Area resident who now resides in the East Bay, has been selling residential real estate since 2007. He was top producer of his office for 2013 and is a tough, but fair, negotiator who likes to work out solutions that make for win-win situations.

Find out by contacting him at taylor.sublett@ sothebysrealty.com or 510-301-9569.

The Bay Times says “Congratulations!” to Fenton’s Creamery in Oakland on its 120th Anniversary

Real Estate and Design

10 Common Pitfalls of Remodeling (Part One) and those that you don’t. You do not have to be completely aligned at the start of a project, but it helps to know where you stand.

2. Budget Denial

Project Remodel Jim Tibbs It is true in remodeling, as it is in world history, that people are likely to repeat the mistakes of those that have gone before them. To help address this issue, I have compiled a list of the 10 most common remodeling pitfalls and what you can do to minimize or avoid these mistakes in your remodeling projects. This is such a robust topic that I am covering the first five pitfalls this month and the remaining five next month.

1. Out of Sync I am amazed at the number of couples who start a remodeling project without clarifying what they want to accomplish and how much money they want to invest. Don’t assume that your spouse shares your love of vaulted ceilings without asking him or her. Work together to create a list of project objectives that you agree on

Unless you have limitless wealth, a budget is a “must have” for any remodeling project. Take firm control of the budget at the start of the project before it takes control of you and your bank account. Even if you don’t have a clue as to how much things cost, you should have a very clear idea of what you can afford to spend. In most cases, what you can afford will not cover what you want, so be ready to make compromises.

3. Risk Aversion There is another group of homeowners who carefully plan their budget in advance, but leave nothing in reserve for contingencies and change orders.

They want to spend every dime on the fixtures and finishes without accounting for the risk inherent in any remodeling project. You should earmark about 5–10% of your budget to address concealed conditions and to make code-required upgrades.

4. False Impressions Don’t assume that because a contractor has a business card that he or she is licensed. Ask for their contractor’s license and confirm it with the Contractors Licensing Board. Likewise, don’t assume that their contractor’s liability and workers comp insurance is

current just because they provide you with a policy number. If a contractor working on your home is not fully insured, you may be financially responsible for any property damage or injuries that occur during construction.

5. Foregone Conclusion Although it is helpful to have a clear point of view when starting a new project, you need to remain open to the ideas that will be generated during the design process. Don’t get committed to one option and then miss out on the other design possibilities that await you.

Next month, I will cover the remaining five remodeling pitfalls on my list: 6. Fantasy Life Design your new space for real life, not your fantasy life.

7. The Lowest Bidder There is more to choosing a contractor than selecting the lowest bidder.

8. Permit Phobia Embrace the permit process.

9. Are we there yet? Patience is a virtue, especially in remodeling.

10. Perfection Anxiety For the money you paid you expect perfection. Right? Wrong!

Hope into Practice - SF Bay Times ad • 4” w x 4” t • 12/27/2013 • 2

Hope INTOPractice

Jim Tibbs is the creative director of HDR Remodeling. If you would like to learn more, please read his blog at http://hdrremodeling. wordpress.com or follow him on Twitter @ HDRremodeling1.

jewIsH wOmeN cHOOsINg jusTIce desPITe Our fears

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“A book for everyone, even recovering Catholics...

Hope floats throughout this book.”

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Join the glitterati for this historic occasion!

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Sarria’s historic role in the fight for LGBT rights.

Proceeds benefit Openhouse programs for LGBT seniors

J U N E 1 4 , 2 0 1 4 — JA N UA RY 1 1 , 2 0 1 5

August 19, 2014 Cash bar 6:00 p.m. ~ Panel 7:00 p.m.

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Golden Gate Park • deyoungmuseum.org Anthony Friedkin, Jean Harlow, Drag Queen Ball, Long Beach, from the series The Gay Essay, 1971.

Gelatin silver print. Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, anonymous gift

BAY T IM ES JuLY 24, 2014

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The Art of Poetry and Photography

The Hard Work of Earth

By Kit Kennedy The earth of a woman sharing her earth with another.

Two caressing who could anticipate such beauty?

A landscape -texture & tangle -limb & lip.

With each touch we make memories as when we married the ripest peach with the softest cheese.

Dear, it’s grace we met.

Up to us to be rooted.

Kit Kennedy is the “San Francisco Bay Times” Poet in Residence.

Kennedy

12

Boorn

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Photos by Stacy Boorn, stacy.awegallery.com

“Hot Burn vs. Slow Burn”—

An Excerpt from Lesbian Marriage: A Love & Sex Forever Kit

P HOTOS C OURT ESY O F RE N AT E ST E N DH AL

The Hot Burn is the quick flare, the instantaneous sexual kindle, the experience we think is worth ruining our lives for. The Slow Burn takes longer to get going. It needs a more intimate, mature knowledge of our lover’s body. It requires patience as the heat gathers and gains force. The great temptation of the Hot Burn is that you race ahead of yourself and seem transformed. Your old self is left behind. You are carried beyond the sexual limitations that have always plagued you. How could you resist it?

The Slow Burn is mostly ignored because it is compared to the Hot Burn and found wanting; we don’t cherish it because we almost don’t notice it. After the Hot Burn you return to yourself. You come back to the person you have always been in all your sexual shyness, shame, and fear. Back to your serious doubt of your attractiveness. Your body’s repressions and secrets speak up again. The Slow Burn never really gets a chance; before it can develop, we have to face everything the Hot Burn has allowed us to leave behind. Poor old Slow Burn, personally and culturally unrecognized as a possibility of sexual fulfillment.

You can be sure Tristan and Isolde, who had been drugged into their passion, knew nothing about it. Ditto for Romeo and Juliet, those kids of thirteen and sixteen with their single burning night together. Anthony and Cleopatra, Paris and Helen of Troy, Eloise and Abelard. You didn’t even have to know their stories to know how hot they’d been burning. Did two women together have to be walled in by these old bedtime stories?

Let’s think: what would have happened to Romeo and Juliet ten years later if they had lived, and lived together? Romeo might be taking off for Padua every chance he got, resenting the time Juliet spent with their children; she might have felt that after a day of kids and the house and her own family, another demand on her for intimacy was just too much.

Could she have taught Romeo to caress her tired body to sleep? To give her a sexy foot massage that would have melted her to the bone?

Lesbian (and all other) sex manuals are filled with suggestions for lovers to get back into the Hot Burn: fill the bubble bath, light the candle, burn your incense, get out that exotic oil, slide your k.d. lang into the CD player. Start with the back rub.

All this sudsing would be well and good if the attempt to reach a Hot Burn weren’t so misguided. Candles light up the Slow Burn. Think of a sensual, tender flame; a breath moving gently over your skin; kisses lin-

gering in the hollow of your neck; little bites on your ear lobe, and naughty whispers. Nothing asked for and demanded beyond what is there for both of you in the moment. No other goal or pursuit or striving, no effort or labor. Slow Burn is not boredom, but something entirely different. A different kind of passion learned in confessional intimacy. A seasoned passion only a seasoned couple can achieve. A sensual knowledge only you and she can know. Marriage is an excellent place for carnal knowledge.

Authors Kim Chernin and Renate Stendhal introduced their new book recently at conversation and book signing events. Event locations included The Mesa Refuge in Point Reyes Station and the Main Public Library and the Eureka Valley/Harvey Milk Memorial Library Branch in San Francisco. For news on upcoming events, including radio interviews and book salons, please visit renatestendhal.com

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Lesbian Marriage: A Love & Sex Forever Kit (Editor’s Note: Kim Chernin and Renate Stendhal are not only the authors of the new book, Lesbian Marriage: A Love & Sex Forever Kit, but they are also a married couple who practice what they preach. They have been together for nearly three decades and their relationship is still going strong. They recently sat down for a chat to discuss the book, how marriage can impact our relationships, and more.)

Kim and Renate: We wanted to collaborate on a new writing project.

Thanks to the Supreme Court, we had a topic for our new book: lesbian marriage. It was instantly clear what the book would be: a light-hearted yet serious, guide for couples who suddenly had the privilege, but also the mounting pressures, of marriage. After 28 years of a committed relationship, and as relationship experts, we felt we had a lot to say.

Renate: But we didn’t want a big, heavy book on lesbian relationships.

We imagined a short, handy book, designed to offer tools for the major challenges married lesbian couples are likely to face. We tried to define the role sex plays (and doesn’t play) in long-term relationships. In two seconds, it had us laughing and throwing definitions back and forth.

We jotted down: “Sex is a trickster: it f lares up, slips away, gets fixed on the one and only, changes partners, goes wild, thrives on intimacy, gets going only with strangers, falls asleep, changes form, gets bored, and sparks into life again.

When we fall in love, we want sex to be around forever, for better or worse.

But when we commit to a relationship and when we get married, sex tends to sneak away. Desire falls asleep and bed death is afoot—the so-called “lesbian bed death” (as comedian Kate Clinton famously quipped) is everyone’s bed death. Every marriage is challenged in the same way, whether you are hetero, gay, bi or questioning.”

Kim Chernin and Renate Stendhal Renate: A relationship is a collaboration, sex is a collaboration, a conversation is a collaboration, and so is writing a book together. We’ve done it twice before, the first time about sex, the second about opera (two passionate pursuits). We never wanted to get married—until now. We preferred to be gay, bohemian outsiders who had as little as possible to do with established conventions. But there’s been a dramatic change in the cultural climate.

K im: Gay marriage has become political. The personal is political as we’ve been saying for a long time. It has also become historical, and we wanted to be part of one of the most signif icant legal decisions that has been announced during our lifetime.

Renate: The freedom for lesbian and gay people to marry brings with it a new potential and new demands. We wrote Lesbian Marriage: A Love & Sex Forever Kit because in our long relationship “we’ve seen it all.” And we’ve weathered it all.

Kim: We’ve written for a long time on women’s lives, spirituality, and sex.

We’ve talked to many women personally and professionally, as mentors and as practitioners of a different kind of listening: a form of common sense conversation. (Common sense because over the years we have realized that common sense is the least common kind of sense.) Now we wanted to talk about what happens to sex “for better or worse.”

Renate: Obviously, sex and marriage are not exactly a horse and carriage! We narrowed down a dozen

major sexual challenges that occur in every committed relationship, but of course we wanted to address them from the perspective of women— women in love with women. And we gathered strategies, tools we ourselves have found effective in addressing these challenges. Advice we’d given to ourselves, and followed most of the time! For example, we talk about “Myths of Desire,” cultural notions of passion and pain versus pleasure.

We talk about “You Always, I Never: Grudges and Bed Death” and about the “Genital Corset”—the need to loosen up our pre-set notions about where and how sex has to take place.

We discuss “The Power of Never Now,” people being too busy and stressed to have sex, and “The MakeOver Marriage,” the inflated expectations of couples that marriage will solve all their problems.

K im: We are providing food for thought and, in addition to sexy stories, a toolkit—handy lists of Do’s and Don’ts to keep in mind when passion and romance threaten to slip away.

Renate: The best way to demonstrate what we are after in Lesbian Marriage: A Love & Sex Forever Kit is to take one central, general misunderstanding about sex in long-term relationships. We call it “The Hot Burn Versus the Slow Burn.” It is followed by our toolkit, the list of Do’s and Don’ts.

Kim Chernin and Renate Stendhal are prize-winning writers as well as relationship experts. After a cross-cultural relationship of 28 years, they are now a married couple.

“Lesbian Marriage: A Love & Sex Forever Kit” is their third co-authored book. They follow their own advice most of the time! To learn more about them and their latest book, please visit lesbiansexsurvival.com

Renate and Kim’s Lesbian Marriage “Toolkit” DO: Start to recognize the possibility of another kind of desire.

Learn to know another kind of passion.

Get cur ious about Slow Burn and experiment with it.

Celebrate every step you make in this direction. (Slow Burn will last until death do you part.)

Be prepared; it could be you.

Don’t blame your lover for things slowing down.

Imagine what it would take to come to complete, shared understanding.

Don’t constantly remind her of how she used to be when you first met.

Consider the possibility of being forgiven.

Don’t compare your relationship to all the wild affairs you’ve had before (which obviously never lasted).

Realize that forgiveness and understanding are different names for the same thing.

Don’t run out to look for the Hot Burn with someone else.

Don’t compare your sexuality to your best friend’s. (She just fell in love.)

Expect that in any long-term relationship some form of Hot-Burncrisis will arise.

Consider this: the two of you might have a chance to begin all over again, both changed, more mature, more whole-hearted and loving.

Expect that one of you will fall in love with someone else, start flirting, be tempted and perhaps act out.

DON’T:

Don’t be a sex-perfectionist.

Don’t be a fool and throw in the towel the minute things start to cool off.

Don’t think good enough is less than good enough.

Don’t brood; use a tool from the kit.

Don’t harp; play with the tools.

PHOTO BY SANDY MORRIS

Don’t focus on what you don’t have.

The 2014 Alameda Mayor’s 4th of July Parade included a flatbed truck loaded with representatives from LGBT organizations. Bay Times photographer Sandy Morris was there to capture this image from the historic moment. Members of the East Bay Front Runners participated in the annual 5K Race held just prior to the Parade.

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Expanded Pride tional self worth boost. Let’s just say that you are in your element, and your brilliance is likely to produce great creative work. Perhaps most importantly, you are bound to have copious amounts of fun doing it. better.

Astrology Linda Amburgey Known as one of the seven deadly sins, pride is said to be the one from which all other sins arise. By definition, pride is a reasonable or justifiable self-respect; or improper and excessive self-esteem known as conceit or arrogance. Inventory where you fall on the spectrum of self-aggrandizement vs. solid self worth as you prepare for your potential creativity to burst forth, expanding and expressing your self-discovery. A healthy, humble self-esteem is your platform. There are no dreams too big for this planetary momentum!

ARIES (March 21–April 19) Some may argue that persons born under your sign may not need an addi-

TAURUS (April 20–May 20 ) Picture yourself in your dream house lavishly filled with all the comforts you can imagine. Your senses are overflowing with joy as you are perched in your favorite chair, feeling like the king or queen of this abode. Let the possibilities of creating this inner sanctuary unleash and expand your entire sense of rootedness in this physical reality.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) You will be in heaven as the Universe directs the spotlight on you, hands you a microphone, and begs you to talk, tell stories, exaggerate and elaborate! Your mastery of language and ability to bridge the odds and ends will not go unrecognized. You are the master storyteller, and it would be a crime against nature to muzzle yourself right now.

CANCER ( June 21–July 22) Life has been rough on you lately.

Sometimes we have to empty out completely in order to realign with our updated values. Gripping your good luck charm, and doing your work, has infused you with a stronger sense of self

value. The investments made in your own self worth will begin to manifest in the literal world of money and the things it can buy.

LEO ( July 23–August 22) Your year to shine starts now! When you know that you are the king of the forest, you don’t have to go around roaring to intimidate the rest of the pride into submission. Let your natural creativity, leadership, and joy radiate over humanity like the warming sun seeping under our skin. Your solar fire is the lifeaffirming inspiration that propels our enthusiasm to live. Don’t hold back!

VIRGO (August 23–September 22) Perhaps there is no one more devout than you. You have been given the divine responsibility of mastering something of your choice. Anyone who attempts to master a craft meets the moment of frustration where we drop to our knees and ask for guidance, courage, and strength to continue. You have God’s ears now, and you will begin to see the manifestation of your faith!

LIBR A (September 23– October 22) One can never have too many friends according to many Libras I know. Now you will be leading your community of peeps into the future,

while envisioning the long-range goals of the clan. Due to your gift of relating well to everyone, expect others to jump on your bandwagon. You could sell just about anything to anyone right now.

time to receive that gift. You may have to pay it back someday, so don’t be gluttonous. Also, you may find the climate of your sexual life a bit less transactional and far more relaxed and gratifying...maybe even intimate!

SCOR PIO (October 23– November 21) This is the beginning phase for being recognized, honored, and rewarded for your creative contributions in your career. If you are forced to let go of one thing, it is simply the Universe making room for the next bigger gig. Don’t let this time pass you by without negotiating your desires, as you and your skills are the hot commodity.

AQUARIUS ( January 20– February 18) You will have ample opportunities in your relationships to swallow the commitment bait. Don’t worry; it won’t kill you. It could actually render you a participant, rather than being in orbit in your own Universe.

Understandably, you do love your freedom, but sometimes true freedom is found through commitment.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22– December 21) Your questing nature will love the start of this current trend that beckons you to hop on any train or plane that you can. You are likely to meet special people on the trail of your walkabout, and possibly bring you the rare and significant mate to settle in with. If you already have that designated other, bring her/him along for a convivial atmosphere.

CAPRICORN (December 22– January 19) If your next big business or real-estate transaction requires access to other people’s money, now is the

As Heard on the Street . . .

PISCES (February 19–March 20) You will have multiple creative projects on the burners, and many will eventually lead to a degree of recognition.

This state of semi- servitude will actually give you pleasure, as the abounding creative sparks excite and tantalize your future fire. Remember to serve your physical body as well. It is the key to your vitality, which keeps you able to take on this daily grind.

Linda Amburgey has owned Crystal Way Metaphysical Center for 11 years, and has been an Intuitive Reader for 20 years. To book readings, on-going counseling for couples or for individuals, events and parties, please e-mail her at ConsciousCounsel@gmail.com or call 415-218-5096.

compiled by Rink

If you could spend the day with Melissa Etheridge in San Francisco, where would you take her?

Raoul Thomas

Ruth Mahaney

Enrique Assis

Larry Roberts

Michael Evans

“The Elbow Room, which used to be Amelia’s lesbian bar.”

“El Rio!”

“The Millenium Restaurant, the best of its kind in the Americas.”

“I would go guitar shopping with her to Haight Ashbury music, and hopefully get a jam session on their keyboards.”

“Coit Tower, and the tower at the de Young Museum.”

Steven Underhill

PHOTOGRAPHY

415 370 7152

WEDDINGS, HEADSHOTS, PORTRAITS

stevenunderhill.com · stevenunderhillphotos@gmail.com BAY T IM ES JuLY 24, 2014

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Editor’s Note: Welcome to our Weddings, Anniversaries & Occasions section. Inquire how your social announcement can appear free of charge, or how your wedding services ad can be included at a special rate: Publisher@sfbaytimes.com or 415-601-2113.

Is Marriage Antiquated?

As I was growing up, my mother worked at the corporate headquarters of Budget Rent-A-Car. The President of the company was Julius Lederer. I mention this because as a bar mitzvah gift, I wanted a signed picture of Ann Landers, who was Mr. Lederer’s wife. Even as a preteen I read Ann Landers’ advice column, which appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times. Ann’s identical twin sister was Dear Abby, whose column appeared in the Chicago Daily News.

Why am I bringing you with me down my memory lane? Because in last week’s San Francisco Chronicle the following question appeared in Dear Abby’s column: “What are your thoughts on marriage? Is it antiquated? I don’t know if I want it, or just because society and social media deem it important. Signed, Cindy via Twitter.”

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Weddings Howard Steiermann the right person, you won’t be ambivalent about spending your life and creating a family with that individual.”

Before I even got to her answer, I was surprised to learn that Abby takes questions via Twitter! As a wedding officiant, I was intrigued at what her response would be. Over the years, both Dear Abby and Ann Landers had become staunch supporters of not simply tolerating LGBT folk but advocating on our behalf.

Her words reminded me of a paragraph that I include in most every wedding ceremony I perform: “By entering into this marriage, you are pledging yourselves to a lifetime in which each will enrich the life of the other. You will be partners standing together to cushion the difficulties of life. Rejoice in your partner’s graces. Nurture your marriage carefully and watch it grow gracefully. Marriage is a point of honor.

Marriage is a full-time job.”

Abby wrote: “Dear Cindy: I don’t consider marriage to be an antiquated practice at all. In a sense, marriage is a ‘team sport.’ It won’t succeed unless the team members are dedicated to a common goal and are willing to sacrifice selfish needs to achieve it. When you meet

At the lunch reception of a wedding I recently officiated, the mother of the groom told me that she wished more officiants would tell their couples that marriage is work. Everyday life is far more complicated and fraught with possibilities for conflict than what comes come up while

SOURCE: ASPOONFULOFSUGARCAKES.COM

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planning even a lavish wedding. A quote by Rabbi Barnett Brickner, which I include in most every wedding ceremony, states “that success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.”

It is up to each of us to be an active participant in our relationship.

Couples who have been married a long time tell me how vital it is to share their feelings and thoughts.

A marriage becomes a partnership when each person takes responsibility for letting the other know what they are desiring.

A wedding can take months or years of preparation, but lasts for only a few hours. Weddings are a celebration of love and commitment.

However, a marriage takes ongoing work to cultivate mutual growth and support over years. Abby called it a “team sport.” Each player wins when the team wins. And the team wins when the participants work together.

Marriage is important. Being married signifies to ourselves, our family, friends and society how much we value our mate and the relationship.

While marriage isn’t for everyone, Abby and this columnist agree that it is far from antiquated.

Howard M. Steiermann is an Ordained Ritual Facilitator based in San Francisco.

For more information, please visit www.

SFHoward.com

Business and finance wizard Amy Errett and Clare Albanese were married at Ram’s Gate Winery in Sonoma. Officiated by Glide Memorial’s Rev. Cecil Williams and Janice Mirikitani, the wedding has been described as “#weddingofthecentury.”

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

Mark Burns and Paul Olsen flash their new rings after having just picked up their marriage license at SF City Hall.

Mike Evans and Dan Neninger were married in the Castro at MCC-SF.

P HOTO BY RIN K

Far left: The “Pride Couple” wearing pink His & His t-shirts on their way to watch the big Parade on Market Street.

Susan Cooney and Jenn Theaker recently celebrated their wedding at SF City Hall with many friends in attendance.

PHOTOS BY CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

Left: Birthday girl Cari Gomar recently received balloons at the office.

State of the (Marital) Union As of July 17, nearly 44 percent of the U.S. population lives in 19 states and the District of Columbia where same-sex couples legally may marry. One year ago—even after the 2012 election in which three states affirmed marriage equality at the ballot and after Minnesota’s legislature followed suit a few months later—just 18 percent, or less than one-f ifth, of the U.S. population lived in marriage equality states.

Even six months ago that number had risen to just 33 percent, or one-third of the population. We’ve made extremely rapid progress, and are within striking distance of a majority of the population having access to marriage equality where they live.

In a sense, we’ve already sped well past the halfway mark.

Thanks to the legal principles espoused by the U.S. Supreme Court in Windsor, every decision in every marriage case in state, district, and appellate courts since June 2013 has concluded that state marriage bans are unconstitutional. This includes a decision by the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals in Kitchen v. Herbert, the case challenging Utah’s marriage ban; should this decision ultimately be upheld, it will mean that bans in the other Tenth Circuit states also will fall.

ing this ruling also is stayed pending appeal, this would bring the percentage of the population living in such states to 36 percent, for a total of 80 percent of the population residing in states or territories where marriage equality is active or has been affirmed but temporarily put on hold.

Marriage Equality Thom Watson, Marriage Equality USA Unfortunately, in 13 of these states and within the Tenth Circuit, decisions striking down marriage bans have been stayed pending appeal.

An additional 30 percent of the U.S. population lives in these 13 states. This means a total of 74 percent of the U.S. population, nearly three-quarters, lives in a state or territory where the freedom to marry has been affirmed in principle, if not yet in effect.

With lawsuits under way in every other state where marriage bans still exist, this percentage changes on practically a weekly basis. Just as I was getting ready to send this column to the publisher, in fact, a Florida judge ruled that state’s marriage ban unconstitutional. Assum-

Moreover, now that we have a Circuit Court decision from the Tenth Circuit, with a second from that court and one from the Fourth Circuit expected any day now as well, there are cases knocking on the door of the U.S. Supreme Court.

Many of us expect the Supreme Court to agree to hear one of these cases as soon as this fall or winter, which could result in a ruling by next June taking us from 44 percent marriage equality to 100 percent in one fell swoop. In the meantime, you can follow the progress of state marriage equality rulings and population percentages on the Marriage Equality USA map at http://www.marriageequality.org/ national-map Thom Watson, a leader in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA, lives in Daly City with his husband, Jeff Tabaco..

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#KateClinton2014

“It’s tough to be a dot org gal in a dot com world.”

Arts & Entertainment

Melissa Etheridge Talks About San Francisco, Love and Her Upcoming Performance with the SF Symphony Two hot summer nights are coming up, and we’re not just talking about the weather. On the last two days of this month, iconic singer-songwriter and musician Melissa Etheridge will join the San Francisco Symphony for a pair of unforgettable performances.

Some entertainers give 100 percent.

Etheridge gives even more than that.

Like a sexy lover, she leaves you very satisf ied, but forever craving the ephemeral high of the experience.

The SF Bay Times is proud to be a media sponsor of the performances, which will include classic hits like “Come to My Window” and “I’m the Only One,” alongside new songs from her latest studio album. The album is set for release on September 30.

Recorded in New York and Los Angeles, the album features 11 new songs all written or co-written by Melissa Etheridge with writers such as Jon Levine (Andy Grammer), Jerrod Bettis (Birdy, Adele), Jerry Wonda and Roccstar. It includes tracks produced

by Levine, Bettis and Mark Batson (Grace Potter & The Nocturnals).

“I am excited to be putting out an album that is exactly what I want it to be,” Etheridge says. “I had some amazing collaborators who really helped craft songs and an album that is truly representative of where I am in my life at this moment.”

The breast cancer survivor is definitely i n a good

place now, we found out after she recently granted an exclusive interview with the SF Bay Times while she was on a well-deserved vacation. On May 31, two days after her 53rd birthday, she married Linda Wallem, who shares Etheridge’s birthday. All four of Etheridge’s children, aged 17–7, participated in the nuptials.

with her fourth album, Yes I Am, featuring the massive and aforementioned hits “I’m the Only One” and “Come to My Window,” a searing song of longing that brought her second Best Female Rock Grammy. The album went six times platinum and spent more than two and a half years on the album chart.

The sync between the two women extends to show biz, as Wallem is a well-known producer who has helped to create popular shows such as Nurse Jackie, Cybill, That 70’s Show, and The Comeback. She is currently developing a Broadway show with Etheridge, who is writing new songs for it. Etheridge says Wallem was her “best friend for nine years” before the relationship evolved and the two tied the knot.

Her highest charting album to date, Your Little Secret (#6 on the Billboard Top 200), included the hit single, “I Want to Come Over.” Her astounding success led Etheridge to receive the Songwriter of the Year honor at the ASCAP Pop Awards. She has also been honored with a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

As for Etheridge’s bio, well, how much time have you got? Her recording career began with the 1988 release of her critically acclaimed eponymous RIAA double-platinum debut album. For several years, Etheridge’s popularity built around such memorable songs as “Bring Me Some Water” (from her debut), “No Souvenirs” (from Brave And Crazy) and “Ain’t It Heavy” (from Never Enough), for which she won her first Grammy for Best Female Rock Vocal.

She hit her commercial and artistic stride

Her latest single, just released last month and available on iTunes, is “Take My Number.” The song was co-written by Etheridge and Jerrod Bettis and produced by Bettis and Jon Levine. We couldn’t resist opening up our interview with Etheridge with a question about the new song’s thought-provoking lyrics.

SF Bay Times: We love your new song! It includes the lines, “What did we ever know at 23?” “Everybody’s got a fire that’s always going to burn...” For those of us who are over 23, what advice do you have for keeping that fire alive while still benefitting from past learned lessons?

Melissa Etheridge: One thing I have learned in my years is you better do what you love and love what you do. Stress is the first thing that will kill you. This is your life, no one else’s.

Find your dream and go get it!

SF Bay Times: We are really looking forward to your upcoming performance in San Francisco. What are some of your favorite things to do, places to go in San Francisco?

SF Bay Times: We have come so far with LGBT rights over the past several years, but what political issues affecting our community do you think still need our attention?

Melissa Etheridge: Performing with the symphony is like singing with a gorgeous wave behind you. The musicians are so talented and focused.

The music just soars and I just ride it all the way.

Melissa Etheridge: I think the biggest issues facing the LBGT community are the ones we have with ourselves. Understanding the transgender community, reaching across all racial and economic boundaries to understand our own diversity…that will make us stronger.

SF Bay Times: Congratulations on your wedding! We read that you sang a new song for Linda during the ceremony. Will that song be on your new album? Can you share any information about it?

Melissa Et heridge: The song “Who Are You Waiting For” is the song I wrote and sang to Linda during our wedding ceremony. She had never heard it until that moment. I had never had the experience of singing and looking directly into someone’s eyes. I will never forget it, or the immense love I felt. Yes, it is on the new album.

SF Bay Times: Anything else that you’d like our readers to know?

Melissa Etheridge: I’m looking forward to performing with the symphony. What a thrill. San Fran, I love you!

“Melissa Etheridge with the San Fr a nc isco Sy mphony ” happens Wednesday, July 30, and Thursday, July 31, at Davies Symphony Hall.

For tickets and additional information, please visit www.sfsymphony. org/Buy-Tickets/2013-2014/SATSMelissa-Etheridge-and-the-SFS.aspx

PH OTO BY MO AN ALA NI J EF F R EY

Melissa Etheridge: San Fran has some of the finest restaurants in the world and I love going out to eat there whenever I can. And then there’s nothing like the gorgeous views; it’s a very romantic city.

SF Bay Times: What’s it like to perform backed by a symphony?!

Any thoughts about your upcoming performance with the San Francisco Symphony?

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Gay Man Shares How He Was Kidnapped for Christ DW: It was a leap of faith for me. It was amazing I was able to get a letter to Kate, because if a piece of paper was found in our pockets, a kid would get in huge trouble. I kept that letter (hidden) and was freaking out during my inspection.

I thought it was worth the risk.

Film Gary Kramer Kate Logan’s probing documentary Kidnapped for Christ, airing this month on Showtime, was originally meant to be an evenhanded examination of Escuela Caribe, a Christian boarding school for troubled teens in the Dominican Republic. However, when she captured institutional abuses on camera, she was compelled to take action. As a filmmaker, she got involved in the personal struggle of David Wernsman, then a 17-year-old gay teen from Greeley, Colorado, whose parents sent him to Escuela Caribe in 2006 to “fix” him. Logan exposes David’s suffering and helplessness at the school in this disturbing film.

GMK: You talk about not be ing able to trust your parents in the film. What is your relationship with them like now?

DW: I quickly set the rules with my pa rent s: t h i s i s who I am, take it or leave it. My relationship with my parents has grown tremendously since then. Discussing what the program did is difficult. I forgive them because they didn’t know what the school was doing. They were convinced by the (Escuela Caribe) people that they were doing the right thing. There is some guilt, but the parents are victims along with the students themselves.

GM K : How did you grapple with the rules of the school?

Now 25, but still haunted by the experience, David spoke with me for the San Francisco Bay Times about Kidnapped for Christ.

Gary M. Kramer: How did you get involved in the film?

David Wernsman: Kate (Logan) entered Escuela Caribe, as a senior from Biola University. She wanted to get the story of the students and she wanted to interview me. I took the risk of telling her why I was there.

GMK: Did you think Kate could rescue you?

DW: I kept my Ps and Qs. I knew that by not following the rules, things would get hard. A student learns to comply—go numb, and into this mindset: “whatever they tell me.” You become emotionless, and that’s the goal for “troubled teens” who have a history of “acting out”—being gay, having anger problems, anxiety, etc.

Being “robotic” people is the transformation. They would tell us they are breaking us down and building us up into the Christian way of thinking.

GMK: Did you have any contact with the other subjects in the f ilm—Beth and Tia—during your time in Escuela Caribe, or after you left?

DW: We had monitored and scheduled times to talk, but I never commu-

nicated with Beth who was on “0 level” and not allowed to acknowledge the presence of boys. She couldn’t notice me, much less talk to me. Tia and I were allowed to set a break and talk one time during the day, but the staff didn’t like that so they told us we couldn’t talk to each other.

I caught up with Tai this January, when we premiered at Slamdance (film festival), which was amazing.

GMK: There is a chant in the film, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world ,” wh ich seems paradoxical. Can you dis-

cuss this?

DW: I found it really ironic to use that Bible verse. I was very involved with the faith and the Bible before I came out, and it floors me how they would use the words of the Bible in the most incorrect way to justify everything they were doing.

GMK: Are you still faithful?

DW: I’m faithful and spiritual, but you won’t see me going into any church anytime soon.

GMK: What advice would you give to gay teens and/or other students that might face the situation you did?

DW: I would advise (parents) that sending a kid away is not the answer.

If they do feel they need to do that for drugs, look up the facility and know what they do. If there is a kid acting out, the kid is likely not the root of the problem. But that’s the nature of relationships between parents and kids. © 2014 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” You can follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun ward to a bright and exciting future ahead with many more years of service to our community. We enjoyed delicious food, great drinks, fabulous company, and even a photo booth to help capture the evening.

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “If Repugnicans win control of the Senate this November, and the Tea Party increases its power in Congress, they will impeach President Obama. Our votes can stop this travesty!”

It has been such a tremendous journey for the fine folks at MAGNET, the Castro hub of health and well being for gay and bi men at 4122 18th Street. On July 9th to the date, they celebrated their 11th YEAR ANNIVERSARY. Sister Dana was there even before they opened, way back when we only had the vision of a revolutionary concept: a sexual health clinic with floor to ceiling windows— not hiding in shame, but proclaiming their existence openly with pride.

They have had 11 tremendous years of success thanks to a wonderful supportive community, and they look for-

Magnet Director Steve Gibson announced that, by winter, they would be moving into their new, much larger space around the corner at 474 Castro. He noted they served over 14,000 men a year but hoped to have an even larger clientele once they hired more staff. Gibson pointed out his boss, Tim Patriarcha, who previously served Maitri for over a decade as executive director. Gibson also asked the crowd to applaud the current leadership: Chris Hall, MD, Medical Director; Pierre Crouch, PhD,ANP-BC, ACRN, Nurse Director; Jesse White, RN, Assistant Nurse Director; and also staff: Matt Beard, Concierge; Michael Blake, RN, Staff Clinician; Adrian Cano, Phlebotomist; Luis Guzman, CPT, HIV Testing Services Coordinator; Jared T Hemming, Community Organizer; Rob Kennedy, Concierge; Lindsey Padjen, HIV Data Manager; Joaquin Ramos, RN,

Staff Clinician; Hannah Sabet, LINCS Staff; David Wilson, Lab Technician; and Jeremy Zondlo, Volunteer Coordinator.

They brought out a cake with the Magnet “circle M” logo in frosting and a big “11” candle for the staff to blow out. Everyone went home with a complimentary “No Blame! No Shame! Magnet” tee shirts, reflecting Magnet’s new campaign.

And speaking of which, MAGNET is thrilled to be hosting the work of EssEff artist JB HIGGINS for the month of July. Higgins, a buddy of mine from back in the early ‘80s as a bartender at the Castro Station bar (now Qbar), is a freelance photographer with extensive experience in both portrait, glamour and product photography, in production and still photography on video filming sets, and in general art and fashion photography. He is showcasing his gorgeous B&W work titled MOMENTS OF REALIZATION. He uses a two and a quarter Roleflex camera with Tri-X or T-MAX film. Negatives are (continued on page 22) BAY T IM ES JuLY 24, 2014

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See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

compiled by Robert Fuggiti

“The Habit of Art” will be at the Eureka Theatre through August 23. www.therhino.org

2014 OLOC National Gathering – Oakland Marriott City Center. $300+. July 23 – July 27. (1001 Broadway, Oakland) www.oloc.org. Old Lesbians Organizing for Change gather to celebrate 25 years of making a positive difference.

Tubesteak Connection – Aunt Charlie’s. $4. 10 pm. (133 Turk St.) www.auntcharlieslounge.com.

Dance the night away to great music and a fun crowd at one of the best gay dive bars in town.

Movie Night at the Center – LGBT Community Center. Free. 4 pm. (1800 Market St.) sfcenter.org.

A free LGBT-themed movie screen-

ing on the last Thursday of the month.

Cheyenne Jackson – Davies Symphony Hall. $15. 7:30 pm. (201 Van Ness Ave.) www.sfsymphony. org. The Broadway, Glee and 30 Rock triple threat sings music live and is joined by special guest vocalist Faith Prince.

Boy Bar – The Café. $5. 9 pm to 2 am. (2369 Market St.) www.guspresents.com. The Castro’s hottest weekly party with go-go dancers and early drink specials.

Flashback Friday – Bench and Bar. $5. 10 pm to 2 am. (510 17th St.) www.bench-and-bar.com.

Celebrating the best in old school music with drink specials all night.

Hick: A Love Story – Eureka Theatre. Free. 8 pm. The remarkable and unexpected love story based on actual events and artifacts from Lorena Hickok and First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt’s relationship.

Sex and the City Live – Victoria Theatre. $15. 7 pm. (2961 16th St.) www.victoriatheatre.org. Enjoy your favorite episodes reenacted in drag.

Treasure Island Flea – Treasure Island. $3. 10 am to 4 pm.

(Treasure Island) www.treasureislandflea.com. Shop art, antiques, clothes, furniture and more at this popular monthly flea market.

Jock – Lookout. $2. 3 pm to 9 pm.

(3600 16th St.) www.lookoutsf. com. A weekly fundraising party for Bay Area LGBT sports groups.

Radical Vinyl – El Rio. Free. 8 pm. (3158 Mission St.) www.elriosf. com. A revolving cast of well known record collectors spin the most eclectic mix of vinyl you’ll find in San Francisco.

LOL Mondays – OMG Bar. Free.

8 pm. (43 Sixth St.) www.facebook. com/LolAtOmg. Enjoy a hilarious night of gay laughs hosted by Valerie Branch.

Piano Bar 101 – Martuni’s. Free.

9 pm. (4 Valencia St.) www.dragatmartunis.com. Sing along to your favorites with friends and patrons.

Opening Reception and Walkthrough LGBT Art – Commonwealth Club of California.

Free. 5 pm to 7:30 pm. (595 Market St.) www.commonwealthclub.org.

Join the Commonwealth Club and members of The Queer Cultural Center with artists from the current exhibition for a reception and walk-through of the exhibit.

Charity Dinner – High Street Station Café. $14. 5 pm to 7 pm.

(1303 High Street Station, Alameda) www.1303highstreet.com. High Street Station Café hosts a monthly dinner for charity, with this month’s choice benefitting the Friends of Alameda Animal Shelter.

Beach Blanket Babylon – Club Fugazi. $25-$130. 8 pm. (678 Green St.) www.beachblanketbabylon.com.

Enjoy Steve Silver’s famous musical revue packed with hilarious pop culture and political antics.

SF Mime Troupe Community Forum – San Francisco Mime Troupe Studio.

Free. 7:30 pm. (855 Treat Ave.) www.sfmt.org. A panel discussion concerning the Ellis Act evictions and housing crisis in San Francisco.

Outdoor Movie Night – Duboce Park. Free. 8:30 pm.

(Duboce Park) www.friendsofdubocepark.com. Outdoor Movie Night returns to Duboce Park on Saturday, July 26 with the cult classic comedy, “So I Married an Axe Murderer.”

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BAY TIMES JuLY 2 4 , 2 0 1 4

Catherine Sky’s Miraloma Park Series of paintings will be at A Woman’s Eye Gallery. www.awegallery

Melissa Etheridge – Davies Symphony Hall. $15. 7:30 pm. (201 Van Ness Ave.) www.sfsymphony. org. The music icon sings new arrangements of her classic hits plus songs from her new album.

Castro Farmers Market – Noe St. at Market. Free. 4 pm to 8 pm. (Noe St. at Market) www. pcfma.com. Enjoy fresh produce and locally made foods and delicacies. Happening every Wednesday.

Last Drag – SF LGBT Community Center. Free. 7 pm to 9 pm. (1800 Market St.) www.lastdrag.com. A free quit smoking class for LGBT and HIV positive people.

The Habit of Art – Eureka Theatre. $10. 8 pm. (215 Jackson St.) www.therhino.org. Theatre Rhino remounts its hit spring production of The Habit of Art. Alan Bennett’s new play is as much about the theatre as it is about poetry or music.

Nightlife – California Academy of Sciences. $12. 6 pm to 10 pm. (55 Music Concourse Dr.) www.noisepop.com. Enjoy a fun evening of science, cocktails and live music.

Comedy Bodega – Esta Noche.

Free. 8 pm. (3079 16th St.) www. estanocheclub.com. Enjoy the weekly comedy variety show happening every Thursday.

Friday Live – El Rio. Free. 10 pm.

(3158 Mission St.) www.elriosf.com.

Friday Live is a queer dance party with hip hop and house music.

Fever – Endup. $20. 10 pm to 10 am. (401 6th St.) www.theendup. com. An all night dance party with guest DJs late into the night.

Bad Girls Cocktail Hour – The Lexington. Free. 9 pm (3464 19th St.) www.lexingtonclub.com.

Enjoy $1 margaritas from 9 pm to 10 pm every Friday night.

A Women’s Rites of Passage Retreat – LoveJourney. $160. 10 am. (Private Retreat Center in Sebastopol) www.lovejourneytantra. com. This “Coming to Awareness”

retreat is an opportunity to explore and celebrate the joy of change and becoming.

electronic music along with $2 drink specials.

Growing Beyond Disparity – UCSF Mission Bay Campus. Free.

8:30 am to 4 pm. (600 16th St.) www.ucsf-ahp.org. A day-long exploration of LGBTQ mental health disparities and solutions by leading researchers in the field.

Trainwreck Cabaret – The Dark Room. $20. 7 pm. (2263 Mission St.) www.trainwreckcabaret.com.

Enjoy San Francisco’s most unusual variety show.

The Miraloma Park Series – A Woman’s Eye Gallery. Free. 12 pm to 5 pm. (678 Portola Dr.) www. awegallery.com. Enjoy an artist’s recepetion with Catherine Sky as she shares her unique and alluring paintings from her latest series entitled Miraloma Park.

Glamazone – The Café. Free. 9 pm to 2 am. (2369 Market St.) www.cafesf.com. Enjoy drink specials during the day and drag performances through the evening.

Beer Bust – 440. $8. 3 pm to 8 pm. (440 Castro St.) www.the440. com. Drink or bust!

Gay Bowling – Mission Bowling Club. $15. 5 pm to 8 pm. (3176 17th St.) www.missionbowlingclub. com. Mix, mingle and meet new friends at this weekly bowling social.

Motown Monday – Madrone Art Bar. Free. 6 pm. (500 Divisadero St.) www.madroneartbar.com.

Dance the night away to favorite Motown songs and remixes.

Wanted – Q Bar. Free. 10 pm to 2 am. (456 Castro St.) www.sfwanted.com. Enjoy a night of dance and

Trans in the Tenderloin – Commonwealth Club of California. $8 members/$20 non-members.

5:15. (595 Market St.) www.commonwealthclub.org. Gender specialist and psychotherapist Robyn Stukalin examines the effect of trauma and discrimination on the lives of trans and gender non-conforming people.

Beyonce and Jay Z – AT&T Park. $120. 8 pm. (24 Willie Mays Plaza) www.beyonce.com/tour.

Beyonce and Jay Z make their first San Francisco appearance on their “On the Run Tour.”

Pride Skate: LGBT Roller Disco – Church 8. $10. 7 pm to 10 pm.

(554 Fillmore St.) 415-752-1967.

LGBT roller skating disco Tuesdays.

LGBT Retirement Living – Commonwealth Club of California. $8 members/$20 non-members.

5:15. (595 Market St.) www.commonwealthclub.org. Dr. Marcy Adelman will highlight some of the societal changes that have brought the LGBT community to the point of having its own retirement living options.

Queer Salsa Dancing – Beatbox. Free. 8 pm. (314 11th St.) www.beatboxsf.com. Latin City Nights presents a queer salsa dance happening every Wednesday night.

Trivia with Miss Kitty – Wild Side West. Free. 7 pm (424 Cortland Ave.) www.wildsidewest. com. Weekly trivia; free to play.

Visit Us Online at sfbaytimes.com

CASTRO

fruits m o r F “ s” FARMERS’ MARKET to nut

WEDNESDAYS

4PM - 8PM

This August at the market: Bautista Ranch has awesome bell peppers and hot peppers in a rainbow of gorgeous colors, great on the grill!

Check out their amazing tomatoes, gorgeous fragrant basil, and yummy summer squash!

Prather Ranch has Farm-fresh Ground Beef, Sirloin, Ribs, Pork, Chicken, and various sausages!

August Events: 8/6-8/13: “Enter to Win” a backpack and gift card to Cliff’s Variety!

NOE ST. BETWEEN

MARKET ST. & BEAVER ST. 1.800.949.FARM • pcfma.com/castro

BAY T IM ES JuLY 24, 2014

21

(THE NEW OLD GAY EPIDEMIC continued from page 6)

(NEW HIV TREATMENT RECOMMENDATIONS continued from page 5)

the smallest part of the cigarette addiction. It’s out of your system in just 2 or 3 days.

promptly pursue diagnostic testing if infection is suspected.

prophylaxis (PrEP) and individualized counseling on risk reduction.

cation and drug cessation programs should be made available.

Individuals diagnosed with HI V should be linked to care for timely initiation of antiretroviral therapy (ART).

Daily emtricitabine/tenofovir disoproxil fumarate is recommended as PrEP for persons at high risk for HIV based on recent diagnosis of STIs, use of injection drugs or shared needles, or recent use of post-exposure prophylaxis; ongoing use of PrEP should be guided by regular risk assessment.

Post-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) is recommended and should be initiated as soon as possible for all persons exposed to HIV from a known infected source.

The biggest part of the addiction is the habit. I therefore am not a fan of the pharmaceutical methods. They usually just keep you addicted to the nicotine. Instead of spending your money on cigarettes, you wind up shelling it out to a pharmacy company.

And get this: Guess who is buying out the newest nicotine replacement fad, e-cigarettes? Yes, our friendly tobacco companies are, like Reynolds and Philip Morris. We have no idea if e-cigarettes are safe. The best method for overcoming the “habit” addiction is through behavior modif ication,

whether via an in-person course (The Last Drag, for example, in SF) or an online program, such as www.smokenders.org. It’s important to learn how to be a non-smoker, and that’s what behavior modif ication does.

I used a behavior modification program to quit smoking 34 years ago, and it definitely worked for me. It can do so for you or your loved ones as well. Don’t wait for the Great American Smokeout, which was created by the American Cancer Society and happens on Thursday, November 20. Commit to quitting, or to help a friend or family member do so, today.

Dr. Naomi Jay is a nurse practitioner in the department of Infectious Disease at UCSF.

Support for adherence and retention in care, individualized risk assessment and counseling, assistance with partner notif ication, and periodic screening for common sexually transmitted infections (STIs) should be included in the care of HIV-infected individuals.

Uninfected persons at high risk of HIV infection should be prioritized for interventions such as pre-exposure

For persons who inject drugs, harm reduction services should be provided (needle and syringe exchange programs, supervised injection, and available medically-assisted therapies, including opioid agonists and antagonists). Low-threshold detoxifi-

The recommendations note that while implementing them may present structural, economic, or political challenges, the benef its should be substantial in preventing disease progression, promoting the gain of healthy life years and preventing new HIV infections.

Source: Emory Health Sciences

(SISTER DANA SEZ continued from page 19) then digitally screened to create archival digital prints.

Higgins says, “By the time we reach adulthood, many of us have been shattered by rigid, dogmatic religious belief systems. But still we seek, in the midst of all our games and drama.

Whether we know it or not, we continue asking ourselves that essential, fundamental question…Who am I, really?” He adds, “Contemplation and meditation are essential to a spiritual path. I strive to create photographs that inspire contemplation, often by showing the nude form in studio and landscape. I like to think this work is about some of those moments of contemplation, realization.”

My faves on display all month are “Joey with Guns,” in which a gun tattoo on the model’s thigh appears to be real as he “holds” the weapon in his hand; and “Two Men Celebrating,” where the couple embraces wearing just tiny miniskirts of American flags while holding a much larger rainbow flag. Available on his website, JBHiggins.com, are more stunning photographs, some in color. Especially engaging is the one of the photographer in the nude photographing his model in the nude. There are also divine photos of DQ Divine, and some of Divine’s creator, a very early John Waters, in an almost invisible pencil-thin mustache.

(ROSTOW continued from page 9) Say what?

I suppose the High Court could have ducked the Tenth Circuit if we had lost. After all, there are other cases in the pipeline, and our loss would have maintained the status quo in that jurisdiction.

PH OTO B Y RI N K

But we won! If the High Court does not accept review of our victory that means marriage equality quickly becomes the law in Utah, Oklahoma,

PEACHES CHRIST PRODUCTIONS presented THE WIZARD OF OZ with the adults-only pre-show parody, THE WIZARD OF ODD starring Sharon Needles as the Wicked Witch & Peaches Christ as Peachy Gale at the Castro Theatre. There’s no place like homo when Peaches writes and directs the drag cast, and the frequent scene changes and elaborate costumes make it all so professional. After we have listened to ALL the Judy Garland classic numbers, the screen suddenly plays a black and white scene of the main actors out of drag and not in costume, bickering about their parts. A sudden, fierce earthquake devastates San Francisco and sweet, innocent Peachy Gale falls deep into the earth, where she eventually lands and kills some queen with flawless shoes. But before that, Jason Brock appears in Peaches drag to sing live “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” because the real Peaches can’t carry a tune and needs her stand-in to sing the theme. The audience is encouraged to always sing along when the cast breaks out in song. For instance, when the dragkins (munchkins in drag) come to celebrate the death of the witch, we sang along “Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead” appropriately. Peachy Gale and her dog Toto (played by Annecy) are visited

by Glen or Glenda the Good Witch (Peggy L’eggs) who tells Peachy of the power of the ruby platforms and the need to visit the Wizard of Odd

(Heklina) to get back home. The wicked witch (Sharon Needles in green face and hands) rises from a puff of smoke and tries to steal the shoes but is repelled. Peachy must follow the yellow brick road (skipping up and down the theater aisles) and along the way meets up with The Scare-Ho (Suppositori Spelling) who stuffs her bra with straw, The Tin-Tran (Raya Light), who gets lubed with Gun Oil, and The Cowardly Lioness (Cousin Wonderlette) who shrinks in fear at tiny Toto. The witch tries to stop their journey by the use of poppers not poppies; but when the erotic effect wears off, they continue on to eventually meet The Great and Powerful Wizardess, demanding the witch’s broom before she can grant the tranny trio’s wishes for a brain, a heart, and courage, and a return home for Peachy and Toto. The witch sends her f lying monkeys to attack them, but is eventually done in when Peachy throws a bucket of glitter on her, and witchy melts into green smoke. The wishes are sort of granted (Heklina admits to having no power when exposed behind the curtain) in that by clicking her heels, Peachy comes home. The entire cast gathers to celebrate as the Peaches stand-in Jason sings most apropos “I’m Coming Home” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The screen suddenly shows a B&W scene where we discover it was all a dream as Peaches (out of drag) recovers from a head injury from the

earthquake and somehow recognizes her fellow cast mates were part of the dream. Just an amazing show! Brava, Peaches!

Colorado, Kansas and Wyoming. If the High Court declines review, it means the justices think it’s fine for marriage restrictions to be unconstitutional in some states, and constitutional in others.

some other case down the line, could they really rule that marriage restrictions are, in fact, fine, and that the aforementioned states have the right to re-enact their antigay constitutional amendments? Yes, it’s true that the High Court often waits until there’s a split in the appellate courts. But if they do that in our cases, they will tie their own hands. Once a few appellate courts rule that marriage equality is a constitutional mandate, the

High Court cannot reverse months, or maybe years, of what will then have become a fact of life in many parts of the country.

If they don’t accept review, they’d be hard pressed to put a stay on future appellate victories.

If they don’t accept the Tenth Circuit cases, and if they eventually accept

CASTRO LIONS CLUB held their 29TH ANNIVERSARY DINNER, a celebration of the 2013 -2014 year at Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church Hall with Installation of Officers & Grant Presentations in the amount of $126,000. Some of the grantees included AIDS Emergency Fund, AIDS Memorial Grove, Bay Area Young Positives, Lions Eye Foundation, Positive Resource Center, and SF LGBT Communit y Center among many more.

CUMMING UP! PEARLS OVER SHANGHAI sadly has its final extension this weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, 8pm at The Hypnodrome, 575 10th Street, starring old and new Cockettes. Sister Dana sez, “Rock out with your Cockette out! Don’t miss it!” thrillpeddlers. com Enjoy a Cosmo and hilarity by heading down to The Victoria Theatre for a 12-night limited engagement run of SEX AND THE CITY - LIVE opening July 24th-Aug ust 10th, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, 8pm; Sundays, 7pm, 2961 16th Street between Mission & Capp Streets. An all drag queen/drag king cast with your

Believe me, I want the High Court to take the Utah case. In an odd way, I suppose it would also be good news if they did not, because it would uphold a victory, extend marriage rights, and make it virtually impossible to go

German flags waved in the Civic Center where an estimated crowd of 20,000 gathered to watch the World Cup finals on large screens.

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favorite Manhattan maidens on the town: Heklina as Carrie Bradshaw, D’A rcy Drollinger as Samantha Jones, Lady Bear as Miranda Hobbs, Alaska as Charlotte York, and Leigh Crow as Mr. Big. sexandthecitylive.eventbrite.com UP YOUR ALLEY FAIR is Folsom Street Fair’s naughty little brother smaller and therefore more intimate than Folsom Fair. Also known as DORE ALLEY FAIR, it is located on Dore Alley between Howard and Folsom, continuing on Folsom from 9th to Juniper and the adjoining block of 10th Street. Sunday, July 27, 11am6pm. Wear your leather, feather, rubber, furry, kink, fetish, costume, or other fun wear - or risk being branded a [shriek!] tourist!

TH E H A RV EY M I L K LGBT DEMOCR ATIC CLUB’s Dinner and Gayla is Thursday, August 7th, 6-9pm, City College of San Francisco’s Mission Campus, 1125 Valencia Street. milkclub.org Sister Dana sez, “The Overturn Citizens United Act, Senate Bill 1272, is on Governor Brown’s desk right now. Please send him a message today to sign this important bill, joining the movement nationwide, insuring that our government is responsive and accountable to the people and not to corporate greed and interference!”

backwards. But still, this is the Court we want to settle the issue.

The High Court is likely to get more conservative before it gets less so. We have to win marriage equality now, next June, next session. And, unless I’m missing something, which you all know is highly unlikely, the Court cannot turn its back on this issue. Not even for one case. arostow@aol.com

Round About - All Over Town - Photos by

Rink

Supervisor Mark Farrell (center), with Alice Club co-chairs Zoe Dunning and Ron Flynn, spoke about his position on issues such as Laura’s Law, the homeless, the City budget and more.

Members of the Grand Ducal Court served a buffet at a benefit for Camp Sunshine for youth with HIV/AIDS, held at The Eagle.

Co-editor Lani Ka’ahumanu (3rd from left) with contributors Naomi Tucker, Kuwaza Imara, Dr. Carol Queen and Don Romesburg at the GLBT Historical Museum introducing the new book entitled Bi Any Other Name.

Popular staffer Jeremy at the Hot Cookie shop on Castro showing off his “Castro” tatoo.

Emcee Larry Roberts, musical performer Ngire Young, filmmaker and featured performer Huckleberry Lain, and emcee Dana Hopkins at Smack Dab, the monthly performance event at Magnet.

Barbie Leung, operations manager Hilda Schmelling Photographer JB Higgins with his image of Divine at and executive director Frances Wallace showing off their Magnet where his show opened in mid July.

Wells Fargo ponies at Frameline’s Volunteer Appreciation Party held at The Stud.

Round About - 20th Annual Hayward Gay Prom Photos by Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover Photographers Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover, supporters of the 2014 Gay Prom at Chabot College in Hayward, provided photos from America’s longest running gay prom. Now in its 20th year, the prom is sponsored by the Lambda Youth Project.

The SF AIDS Foundation’s Tim Patriarca, Magnet advisory board members Matthew Denckla and Michael Siever with Magnet executive director Steve Gibson and volunteer Gary Keener at the celebration of the organization’s 11th Anniversary.

Mayor Ed Lee visited Hot Cookie during his recent neighborhood visit to observe the new construction on Castro Street.

BAY T IM ES JuLY 24, 2014

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