San francisco bay times april 30, 2015

Making the Case for Marriage Equality

Images from the April 28 SCOTUS oral argument concerning same-sex marriage

/SF Bay Times

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National Center for Lesbian Rights Special Section, Pages 3-5

PHOTOS BY GREG KENDALL-BALL /SPECIAL TO NATIONAL CENTER FOR LESBIAN RIGHTS

April 30-May 13, 2015 | www.sfbaytimes.com

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On the Brink of Winning Full and Equal Marriage Rights Nationwide

By Kate Kendell, Esq.

But here we are.

How did this happen?

you believed in your simple humanity and the promise of equality.

When San Francisco ignited the second decade of this fight in 2004, this city and almost everyone in it began to believe that winning marriage wasn’t a lifetime away and shouldn’t be. Then Mayor Gavin Newsom began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples and thousands of you and many others ringed City Hall for weeks. When NCLR helped win marriage in California in 2008, we were joined by much of the rest of the nation in believing that maybe winning marriage was within our grasp.

Our faith lagged with the passage of Proposition 8, but then unlikely allies, non-gay super lawyers Ted Olson and David Boies, jumped in to challenge Prop 8. In 2013, I was lucky enough to be at the Supreme Court for my very first oral argument, when the challenge to Prop 8 and Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act were argued to the Court. It was exhilarating to be a witness to this history, and to know that in a few short weeks both Prop 8 and the heart of DOMA would be dead.

Since the Supreme Court struck down the key section of DOMA and Prop 8, our fight to win the freedom to marry has been at full throttle. Last

year at this time, there were 19 states in which we could marry. Today there are 37. In one year we gained 18 states!

And now we are in the final chapter on marriage. I will be carrying this city and everything we have been through with me as I watch the arguments.

There will be poetry in that moment, because the four main legal organizations that have been steadfast in working to win the freedom to marry will all be represented before the Court.

NCLR, Lambda Legal, ALCU, and GLAD are all involved in the remaining four cases from Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio and Michigan. We are joined by dogged local attorneys, pro bono firms, and inspiring clients.

PHOTO BY RINK

It happened because of you. And the people who love and care about you.

And the people who know you and checked their prejudice because they knew you. It happened because you marched, rallied, spoke up, stood tall, lived openly, wrote checks, penned letters, gave time, fought back, refused to give up, kept hope alive, and because

Plaintiffs in the Tanco vs. Haslam case, the lead case for same-sex marriage in Tennessee, met with members of the media on the steps of the United States Supreme Court in Washington, DC, on Monday, April 27, 2015.

NCLR’s Kate Kendell at San Francisco City Hall, 2008

NCLR’s San Francisco Pride Parade contingent, 2013

I, like almost everyone, believe a majority of the Court will rule that we enjoy the same constitutionally protected right to marry the person we love as everyone else. To make it all the more delicious, we may get that ruling in the day or two before San Francisco Pride. Damn. That will be one hell of a celebration, and very well deserved.

Of course, as we well know, we won’t be nearly finished. We will still face a backlash. We will still have opponents—some toxic, most just feckless— and more importantly, we will still have unfinished work. LGBT youth, transgender men and women, undocumented immigrants, and poor or rural LGBT people will still face enormous challenges and daily threats.

But if the past 21 years is any indication, it’s nothing we can’t tackle.

Kate Kendell, Esq., is the Executive Director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

Twenty-one years ago, I began my career at NCLR, first as Legal Director and then as Executive Director. If you had told me when I started at NCLR that we would be on the brink of winning full and equal marriage rights in every state and for every same-sex couple, I would have wanted what you were smoking.

PHOTO BY GREG KENDALL-BALL /SPECIAL TO NCLR

As I write this, I am three days away from hopping a plane to DC. I am going to see oral argument in NCLR’s Tennessee marriage equality case before the U.S. Supreme Court in the current, and by all accounts, final marriage hearing. It is amazing to think we are on the brink of winning marriage nationwide. No ifs, ands, or buts. Twenty-one years ago marked the beginning of the modern marriage movement with litigation in Hawaii.

My great friend and hero, Mary Bonauto, will be one of the attorneys arguing before the Court along with NCLR’s own co-counsel Douglas Hallward-Driemeier, from the DC law firm Ropes & Gray. Collectively, this team has over 100 years of experience doing LGBT advocacy.

NCLR Anniversary honoree Shannon Mintner with Lt. Governor Gavin Newsom, 2013

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NCLR to Honor Idaho Navy Veteran and Couples/Legal Team in Historic Supreme Court Marriage Case law firms of Sherrard & Roe PLC and Ropes & Gray LLP.

Idaho Navy veteran Madelynn “Lee” Taylor, 74, will be given the Courage Award for her work standing up to the state’s discriminatory laws banning marriage equality, and calling attention to the need for anti-discrimination laws by taking part in sit-ins at the State Capitol. The Tennessee plaintiff couples and their attorneys will be honored with the Justice Award just days after the U.S. Supreme Court hears the historic case that could decide marriage equality nationwide.

“All of our honorees exemplify the bravery and perseverance of the entire LGBT community and what it has taken us to get to this historic cusp,” said NCLR Executive Director Kate Kendell. “We hope the Anniversary Celebration will leave our supporters inspired and recommitted to our ongoing success, and that it will leave the NCLR board and staff en-

PHOTO BY GREG KENDALL-BALL /SPECIAL TO NCLR

The National Center for Lesbian Rights will honor a retired Navy veteran and NCLR client who is fighting to bring LGBT equality to Idaho, and NCLR will also honor the plaintiff couples and legal team in the organization’s historic Tennessee marriage equality case at its 2015 Anniversary Celebration on May 2, 2015, in San Francisco.

Douglas Hallward-Driemeier (at lectern) and Mary Bonauto speak to members of the media following oral arguments before the Supreme Court.

ergized for the challenges ahead to bring the full promise of equality to every member of our community.”

The Supreme Court heard oral argument in NCLR’s Tennessee marriage case and cases from three other states on April 28, 2015, in Washington D.C. In these cases, the Court will have an opportunity to bring an end to the serious harms caused by discriminatory laws that bar same-sex couples from marriage. The Court is

expected to issue its decision by the end of June 2015.

The plaintiffs in the Tennessee marriage case who will receive the Justice Award are Dr. Valeria Tanco and Dr. Sophy Jesty, Army Reserve Sergeant First Class Ijpe DeKoe and Thom Kostura, and Matthew Mansell and Johno Espejo. The attorney honorees are Abby Rubenfeld, Maureen Holland, and Regina Lambert, and the

“We are humbled to be recognized by NCLR and the LGBT community,” said Tanco, who has a one-year-old daughter with Jesty. “We never would have imagined two years ago that we would be part of this moment and we are honored that we are helping advance marriage equality across the country. We are eternally grateful to our attorneys and the staff of NCLR for taking on our case and for all the work they do to bring full equality to every member of our community.”

Courage Award recipient Lee Taylor has always been committed to justice and fighting for others, but her commitment to LGBT equality was ignited after she was discharged from the Navy in 1964 when it was discovered that she was a lesbian. In 2014, with the help of NCLR, Taylor challenged Idaho’s marriage ban after the state-run veterans’ cemetery refused to allow her to be buried with her late wife. Late last year, after NCLR filed her lawsuit, the state reversed course, allowing her wife’s remains to be interred at the veterans’ cemetery, where the couple will be able to rest together.

While it’s getting increasingly difficult for Taylor to get around, she

hasn’t slowed down. In March, she took part in a sit-in at the Idaho State Capital to protest lawmakers’ refusal to pass anti-discrimination protections. “Add the 4 Words” protesters blocked all entrances to the bill drafting office of the Idaho Legislature, and only allowed entry to legislators who supported adding “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the state’s Human Rights Act. She was arrested twice as a result.

Founded in 1977, NCLR is devoted to advancing LGBT equality through litigation, legislation, policy, and public education. Since its start, NCLR— which helps more than 5,000 people each year—has embraced every aspect of the diverse LGBT community through its work, recognizing that LGBT people and their families come from many different backgrounds and face a wide range of issues.

The A nniversar y Celebration is NCLR’s annual signature event, drawing a sell-out crowd of more than 2,000 people. This year’s event will be held at San Francisco’s Marriott Marquis and the City View at Metreon. The Premiere Sponsor of the Anniversary Celebration is Wells Fargo.

Learn more about the event at www.NCLRights.org/AnniversaryCelebration

Madelynn “Lee” Taylor Madelynn “Lee” Taylor, 74, has always been committed to justice and fighting for others, but her commitment to LGBT equality was ignited after she was discharged from the Navy in 1964 when it was discovered that she was a lesbian. In 2014, with the help of NCLR, Taylor challenged Idaho’s marriage ban after the state-run veterans’ cemetery refused to allow her to be buried with her late wife. Late last year, after NCLR filed her lawsuit, the state reversed course, allowing her wife’s remains to be interred at the veterans’ cemetery, where the couple will be able to rest together. While it’s getting increasingly difficult for Taylor to get around, she hasn’t slowed down. In March, she took part in a sit-in at the Idaho State Capital to protest lawmakers’ refusal to pass anti-discrimination protections. “Add the 4 Words” protesters blocked all entrances to the bill drafting office of the Idaho Legislature and only allowed entry to legislators who supported adding “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the state’s Human Rights Act. She was arrested twice as a result.

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Matthew Mansell & Johno Espejo Matthew Mansell and Johno Espejo met in 1995 and were married in California in 2008. Matthew is a conflicts analyst at a law firm, and Johno is a stay-at-home dad and works part-time at the local YMCA. In 2012, the couple moved to Franklin, Tennessee, with their two children, who now are 8 and 6 years old.

Dr. Valeria Tanco & Dr. Sophy Jesty Dr. Valeria Tanco and Dr. Sophy Jesty met while at the College of Veterinary Medicine at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, and have been together for four years. As Sophy neared the end of her post-graduate fellowship, Val and Sophy began looking for teaching positions in veterinary medicine that were geographically close to another. The University of Tennessee, Knoxville, offered them both positions in their respective specialties. Although the couple had married while living in New York, the State of Tennessee treats them as if they are two unmarried women. In March 2014, Val gave birth to the couple’s first child.

PHOTO SOURCE: FREEDOMTOMARRY.ORG

PHOTO BY LAURIE PEARMAN

PHOTO SOURCE: LGBTQNATION.COM

NCLR Anniversary Celebration Honorees

Ijpe DeKoe & Thom Kostura Ijpe DeKoe and Thom Kostura have known each other since they were teenagers. Ijpe is a Sergeant in the Army Reserves. The couple got married on August 5, 2011, a week before Ijpe began a tour of duty in Afghanistan. In May 2012, Ijpe returned home safely and immediately moved with Thom to Memphis, Tennessee, where he had been stationed prior to his deployment.

NCLR’s Work in 2015 and Beyond

By Christopher Stoll, Esq. As we edge closer to a U.S. Supreme Court decision that could bring the freedom to marry to same-sex couples from coast to coast, we at the National Center for Lesbian Rights aren’t slowing down one bit. Even if we win big at the Court, we still have a long way to go in achieving our vision of a world free from oppression for LGBT people and for everyone.

We have already seen efforts by rightwing state legislators and governors to lash back at our successes by passing controversial “right-to-discriminate” laws that would erode any protections against discrimination for LGBT people. These laws range from some that would allow county clerks to refuse to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, to others that would permit adoption agencies to decline placing children with LGBT couples, to still others that would allow any business or employer to discriminate against LGBT people for religious reasons.

Along with our partners at other organizations, NCLR has been working hard to battle these bills, and our work will not be over until every single member of our community in every state has robust and reliable protections against discrimination in employment, housing, and public accommodations.

Christopher Stoll, Esq.

Even with a big victory for marriage equality at the Supreme Court, NCLR’s work of obtaining full recognition for the relationships of samesex couples, both married and unmarried, will not be over.

Right now, we are representing Stacey Schuett, the widow of longtime FedEx employee Lesly Taboada-Hall, who died in 2013. Even though the couple was legally married in California, FedEx refused to provide full spousal benefits to Stacey under Lesly’s retirement plan, claiming that the plan covers only opposite-sex spouses. In a separate case, we are also asking the Illinois Supreme Court to overturn an archaic rule that prevents unmarried couples (including many LGBT couples) from seeking the assistance of the courts to handle property division claims when the couple breaks up.

Time and again, we have seen that even when same-sex couples have

the freedom to marry, they continue to face obstacles to full recognition from employers, businesses, and government officials. We’re committed to continue working for same-sex couples until their relationships are truly equal.

Achieving NCLR’s mission involves much more than equality for LGBT relationships.

For example, if we win the freedom to marry, that will not mean that LGBT parents will be truly equal. For decades, NCLR’s Family Protection Project has been a national leader in working through the courts to advance the rights of LGBT parents in areas such as parentage determinations, adoption, assisted reproduction, and child custody matters. While we have made tremendous progress, this remains a long-term effort requiring great care and expertise that must be maintained in case after case, in state courts from Alabama to Wyoming.

The vital work of NCLR’s Youth Project is also going strong, and will continue to protect some of the most vulnerable members of our community this year, and for the years to come.

The Youth Project works to educate parents, judges, administrators, and caregivers about the needs of LGBT youth in schools, foster care, juvenile justice, and family courts, as well as to provide direct representation in important cases.

The #BornPerfect campaign was founded by NCLR in 2014 with the goal of protecting LGBT youth by ending the discredited and harmful practice of conversion therapy—a practice that attempts to change the sexual orientation or gender identity of a minor. With NCLR’s help, California, New Jersey, and the District of Columbia have already passed laws preventing state-licensed therapists from practicing conversion therapy with a patient under 18 years old.

This year, the campaign has grown by leaps and bounds, with President Obama and the Surgeon General of the United States joining our fight.

We have also encouraged legislators in over a dozen other states to introduce similar bills to end conversion therapy. NCLR has been the national leader on this issue, and it has dramatically increased the pace and visibility of these efforts.

That’s a lot, but it barely scratches the surface of the work that we at NCLR are doing day in, day out. Nearly every day, we hear from someone who has been fired or faces harassment on the job, is being denied custody of her own children because of her sexual orientation or gender identity, or even fears for her life because she lives in a country where LGBT people face persecution, imprisonment, or worse.

Even if we achieve the freedom to marry for all same-sex couples in 2015, our work will be far from over.

We won’t be f inished until every LGBT person, in every community, can live safely, comfortably, and proudly as who they are without fear, harassment, or discrimination.

Christopher Stoll, Esq., is a Senior Staff Attorney at the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

PHOTO COURTESY OF NCLR PHOTO COURTESY OF NCLR

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

PHOTO BY TRISH TUNNEY/SPECIAL TO NCLR PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

PHOTO BY TRISH TUNNEY/SPECIAL TO NCLR

PHOTO BY TRISH TUNNEY/SPECIAL TO NCLR

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

PHOTO BY TRISH TUNNEY/SPECIAL TO NCLR

Images from Recent NCLR Anniversary Celebrations

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In the News UniteForMarriage Holds Rally at San Francisco City Hall As the Supreme Court heard oral arguments on four cases that may determine the future of marriage equality in the U.S., supporters gathered at rallies across the country to show their support for full equality, including a well-attended rally in San Francisco. UniteForMarriage is sponsored by the organizers of March4Equality and Day of Decision. Among the dozens of SF speakers giving moving speeches for marriage equality were former State Assemblyman Tom Ammiano and Supervisors David Campos, Jane Kim, and Scott Wiener.

Organizers—including Family Equality Council, Freedom to Marry, GetEQUAL, GLAAD, Human Rights Campaign, Marriage Equality USA, and National LGBTQ Task Force—also held a pre-rally event in the morning at Harvey Milk Plaza at Castro and Market Streets.

Mayor Edwin Lee Issues Information Regarding Nepal Earthquake After the devastating 7.8-magnitude earthquake in Nepal with more than 5,200 dead, San Franciscans are being encouraged to make a monetary donation to a reputable humanitarian organization responding to this disaster. People can donate at sfgivesback.org Mayor Lee also urged all San Franciscans to visit sf72.org to learn how to prepare for earthquakes before they strike.

Cyber Center at SF LGBT Community Center Reopening Thanks to the David Bohnett Foundation, the Cyber Center computers in the LGBT Community Center building are being upgraded.

Visitors to the Center will continue to have the opportunity to utilize free Internet and access to workshops.

Center officials invite the public to join them at this free event as they thank the foundation for their generous support. The reopening ceremony is being held at the Community Center on Wednesday, May 13, from 6 to 8pm, 1800 Market Street. Light refreshments will be provided. To RSVP, visit sflgbtcenter.eventbrite.com Bill Supporting LGBTQ Students Moves Through Committee AB 827, authored by Assemblymember Patrick O’Donnell (D-Long Beach) and sponsored by Equality California, passed out of the Assembly Education Committee with a 6 to 1 vote. The bill would provide more support and a safer learning environment for LGBT students by requiring that schools provide annual training to teachers on various resources available to support LGBT students both at school and in the local community. Queer students have a higher dropout rate than their straight peers and are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers, and 40% of transgender youth have made a suicide attempt. As outlined in Equality California’s Fair Share for Equality report, LGBT youth are also at higher risk of homelessness and related health problems due to social stigma, family rejection, and bullying and violence in schools. AB 827 will head to the Assembly Appropriations Committee where the legislation’s fiscal impact will be analyzed.

100 Local Catholic Leaders Plea To Pope: “Replace Archbishop Cordileone” An open letter signed by 100 local Catholic leaders is the latest indictment of the gay-hating Archbishop and his move to include “morality clauses” in the contracts of teachers and staff at Catholic high schools. Cordileone had instructed the almost 500 employees of archdiocese high schools to “affirm and believe” that actions like “homosexual relations,” birth control, and mas-

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By Dennis McMillan

turbation are “gravely... intrinsically” evil. In other words, it’s a ban on teachers engaging in any of the “behaviors” themselves or expressing those views in their classrooms. “Holy Father, please provide us with a leader true to our values and your namesake,” begins the text of a full-page ad that ran in the Chronicle imploring Pope Francis to “Please replace Archbishop Cordileone.” The letter blames Cordileone for fomenting “an atmosphere of divisiveness and intolerance.”

GLBT Historical Society’s Executive Director to Step Down in May In the months ahead, the GLBT Historical Society will begin a new phase as an organization. Effective May 19, Paul Boneberg, the Historical Society’s executive director for the past eight years, will step down. At a time when soaring rents have endangered the viability of the GLBTHS’ archives in downtown San Francisco and its museum in the Castro district, Boneberg has been instrumental in securing an affordable temporary home for the museum in the Castro, and for laying the groundwork for a sustainable plan for moving its archives. In the months ahead, the GLBTHS will begin the work to choose Boneberg’s successor.

In the meantime, the Board of Directors will appoint Daryl Carr to lead the organization while the GLBTHS builds a strong foundation to attract a new executive director.

Community Marketing & Insights Asks LGBTQs to Participate in Survey Community Marketing & Insights is offering its 9th Annual LGBT Community Survey. Participation in this survey gives important feedback to our LGBTQ community media and organizations, and provides valid data to companies interested in serving the LGBTQ community, sponsoring our charities, and supporting LGBTQ employees. The survey takes just about 10 to 12 minutes to complete. www.LGBTSurvey.com Gay Journalist and Owner of Midtown Moped Shop Identified as Homicide Victim The Sacramento County Coroner’s Office has identified a man whose body was found inside a scooter shop as Daniel James Aiello, 53. Aiello, according to social media entries, operated Midtown Moped. The Coroner’s Office listed his home address on the same block as the shop, which rents and repairs scooters and mopeds. His Twitter and LinkedIn pages identify him as a freelance reporter with a specialty in political journalism and gay subjects.

He was also a man living with AIDS. Police have arrested two individuals in connection with Aiello’s death.

The suspects had been stopped by police after they were spotted loading items into a vehicle parked in front of the scooter shop. Plans for Aiello’s memorial are to be announced.

AEF/BCEF Executive Director Mike Smith to Step Down Mike Smith, who has been Executive Director of AIDS Emergency Fund & Breast Cancer Emergency Fund (AEF & BCEF) since 2002, is leaving the organizations.

Smith is the co-founder of the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt and served as managing director there from 1987 to 1989. During his tenure, the Quilt grew from an idea to more than 15,000 memorial panels in 20 countries. He and Cleve Jones and The Names Project Foundations were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

The public is invited to his sendoff BCEF fundraiser, “Cinco de Mike-o” (in honor of Mike’s 55th: CincoCinco!) birthday, May 5, at

Lesbian Asylum-Seeking Couple Marry at SF City Hall History was made as a lesbian couple, seeking asylum in the United States, celebrated their marriage at San Francisco City Hall. After years of persecution in Angola, Mari and Cara, whose real names have been withheld to protect family members in Africa, made their way to the Bay Area, where they hope to receive asylum and to start a new life safely together. The women are receiving pro bono legal representation for their asylum application by attorneys from The Cooley Law Firm. africanHRC.org FDA Approves New Pill Combo Drug for HIV-Positives The Food and Drug Administration approved a new tool in the fight against HIV with a combination of pills utilizing the previously approved single drugs Evotaz and Prezcobix.

The combination of the protease inhibitor darunavir and boosting agent cobicistat, which raises the level of other antiretroviral drugs in the bloodstream, is what creates Prezcobix. Evotaz assists in boosting Prezcobix’s effectiveness, performing well in a 602-patient clinical trial with sustained effectiveness and safety over a 48-week period.

Outdoor SF Events Have Billion Dollar Annual Impact A study conducted by the City Economist reports that outdoor events—such as festivals, parades, and street fairs—are a significant economic driver for San Francisco. In 2014, these events generated $1.1 billion in economic impact and drew 3.3 million attendees, whose spending supported 9,300 private sector jobs in industries like retail, food services, hospitality and transportation. The 79 events included in the study include street fairs such as Pink Saturday and Folsom Street Fair, outdoor concerts, fundraising runs and walks, and many cultural festivals.

Events range in size from massive events like San Francisco Pride and the Chinese New Year Parade to large concerts like Outsidelands to smaller neighborhood events. The report will help guide policymakers in determining how best to support outdoor events. Currently, City bureaucratic processes create hardship for many events. While larger events can absorb the cost and uncertainty of the process, for smaller events, the costly process can mean the difference between surviving and folding.

Rally Held at City Hall for Renewable Energy Option Activists gathered at San Francisco City Hall appropriately on National Earth Day to promote CleanPowerSF, which would give everyone in San Francisco the option to choose a 100% clean energy source—no fossil fuel burning—for their electricity. A renewable energy option has been in the works for San Francisco for many years. In fact, it has been 11 years since it was approved by the City.

Recent studies have shown the cost would be no higher than that charged

by PG&E. The electricity would be delivered over the customer’s current wiring system. After numerous bureaucratic delays, CleanPowerSF is now scheduled to be available in early 2016. However, it could be expedited to be available later this year, if there is enough public support for this.

With the recent support of Mayor Ed Lee for real climate action, the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission staff is now working toward finally launching CleanPowerSF.

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Ensuring Equality in Healthcare Access

This example illuminates why patients with limited English proficiency report being less satisfied, less likely to understand medication instructions, and more likely to have problems adhering to their medication regimens.

It also shows the risks facing over forty percent of residents in San Francisco and Alameda Counties, as well as over 6 million Californians.

Assemblymember Phil Ting

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Imagine being sick and unable to communicate with your doctor about where it hurts. With modern medical treatments changing the practice of medicine today, imagine being unable to understand your pharmacist’s instructions for taking your medications.

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In pharmacy circles, the story of “once” shows how language barriers can undermine the delivery of care.

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For those who think “separate but equal” laws are a thing of the past, consider the newness of marriage equality (for some), or the ongoing plight of our immigrant communities with limited English proficiency.

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A doctor prescribes a patient a 30-day supply of pills, but the patient returns for a refill just three days later. The patient says he took the pills exactly as instructed on the bottle: 11 daily. The pharmacist looks at the bottle, which says “take once daily.” But “once” also means 11 in Spanish. The patient therefore followed the instructions, in Spanish.

In order to improve healthcare for our immigrant communities, my Assembly Bill (AB) 1073 requires the California Board of Pharmacy—the professional licensing and enforcement body for pharmacists—to post standard translations online about prescription medications in multiple languages besides English. Pharmacists would be required to use them, unless they already translate instructions for their patients.

This legislation will restart a stalled program where the Board created written translations in Chinese, Korean, Russian, Spanish and Vietnamese, but they sat unused. This cannot stand. Everyone should get the same treatment by having written information about their medications.

My community in San Francisco has adapted to the failure of mainstream healthcare networks to adequately serve the Chinese Community. Now, we see a network of clinics operated by groups such as Chinese Hospital, North East Medical Center, and Self Help for the Elderly. Not every community in our state is so fortunate. (continued on page 26)

Faith and Love

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Out of the Closet and into City Hall Oakland Vice Mayor Rebecca Kaplan

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In fact, one of the most repeated lines in the Bible is: “Do not oppress the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.” Numerous faith teachings over thousands of years have focused on the importance of treating all people with respect, and honoring all of humanity as being made in the “image of the divine.” It is important that people, whether they are of faith or not, recognize and condemn this type of religious manipulation whenever and wherever it occurs.

In recent weeks, several states and national Republican leaders have been pushing for laws and policies to allow businesses to discriminate against LGBT people—and to discriminate against other historically marginalized groups, such as religious minorities. They claim these efforts are for the purpose of protecting religious freedom. The advocates for these efforts are saying that faith and love are incompatible, and that the only way people can practice their own faith is by oppressing others.

This is a sad and wrong-headed depiction of what it means to be a person of faith, and all people of conscience should be prepared to oppose and denounce these efforts wherever they pop up, whether in Indiana, where a massive push-back occurred, or most recently as proposed by Bobby Jindal, the Governor of Louisiana. The stereotype that people of faith and LGBT people have opposing interests is destructive and untrue and, of course, also ignores the reality of the existence of millions of LGBT people of faith.

In fact, there are real and important examples, in the United States and elsewhere, of people being oppressed for their religion, and it is insulting to claim that is going on where it is not.

Native Americans have faced ongoing struggles to have their rituals protected from discrimination and laws that were designed to wipe out their faith practices.

Religious minority groups, including Jews and Muslims, have faced hatred and prejudice in this country. Oppression of people of faith is something that has occurred, and which some still struggle against, and it is an insult to those efforts to suggest that the arena in which religious discrimination is taking place is towards the LGBT community, when LGBT people are provided equal rights under the law.

Let us stand clearly both for LGBT rights and for the rights of people of faith to live in dignity and respect. We can teach and show that faith and love are compatible, and that my rights do not depend on taking away those of another.

Vice Mayor Rebecca Kaplan was elected in 2008 to serve as Oakland’s citywide councilmember. She was re-elected in 2012 and serves currently as Vice Mayor. She is working for safe neighborhoods, for local jobs and for a fresh start for Oakland. Vice Mayor Kaplan graduated Phi Beta Kappa from the Massachusetts Institute of Technolog y, obtained a Master’s degree from Tufts University and a Juris Doctor from Stanford Law School.

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SF Pride Generates Mega $ for City and Announces This Year’s Grand Marshals, Honorees

There is plenty of Pride news, with the 45th annual San Francisco LGBT Pride Celebration and Parade being less than three months away.

Pink Brick - American Family Association, U.S. nonprofit organization championing Christian activism

The Office of Economic Analysis in San Francisco recently released an extensive “San Francisco Outdoor Event Visitor Survey.” (Full report here: https://d3n8a8pro7vhmx.cloudfront.net/scottwiener/pages/242/attachments/ original/1429587382/The_Economic_Impact_ o f _ O u t d o o r _ E ve n t s _ w i t h _ a p p e n d i c e s. pdf ?1429587382) The survey estimates that the total visitor impact of SF Pride is $357.1 million, which includes $40 million at retail trade establishments, $33.6 million at restaurants, and $14.3 million at hotels.

(The Pink Brick is an opportunity to highlight an individual or organization that has done harm to the LGBT community.)

This year’s theme, “Equality Without Exception,” signifies the struggles that continue to exist across all communities seeking social justice. “The LGBTQ Pride movement remains relevant,” according to SF Pride Executive Director George Ridgely. “The message of the #blacklivesmatter movement and the continued fight for LGBTQ rights, civil rights, women’s equality, reproductive rights, income equality and immigration reform are at the heart of our 45th anniversary commemoration.”

For 16 years, the SF Pride Membership and Board of Directors have continued the tradition of public selection for Community Grand Marshals, Organizational Grand Marshal, and the Pink Brick recipient. Here are this year’s community grand marshals, along with several special awardees, in recognition of their contributions to the LGBTQ community and movement: Community Grand Marshal - Judy Dlugacz, Olivia Co-founder

The José Julio Sarria History Maker Award Julia and Sam Thoron, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays The Audrey Joseph Entertainment Award Audrey Joseph, SF Entertainment Commissioner, activist, record executive (This award is in its inaugural year. It honors those who have made a significant and historical impact, or left an indelible impression on the LGBTQ community and the movement for LGBTQ rights, through their artistic expression, or through their contribution within the entertainment industry.)

The Teddy Witherington Award - Tita Aida, Transgender, Asian Pacific Islander, LGBTQI community leader Heritage of Pride, 10 Years of Service Award Tom Taylor and Jerome “Jerry” Goldstein, community advocates and fundraisers Heritage of Pride, Pride Freedom Award Mary Midgett, community leader, author Heritage of Pride, Pride Creativity Award Monica Helms, creator of the Transgender Pride Flag Heritage of Pride, Pride Community Award Harry Lit, community organizer and fundraiser

Felicia Elizondo

Alicia Garza

Harry Lit

The San Francisco Pride Board of Directors is hosting a 45th Anniversary Kickoff Party at the Hotel Whitcomb Grand Ballroom on Saturday, May 30, from 7:00pm to 10:00pm. This will be the first opportunity to meet many of the 2015 Grand Marshals and Awardees before the Pride Celebration in June. The benefit will feature hosted bars and hors d’oeuvres, a silent auction and performances by SambaFunk! and Cheer SF. “The anticipated Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage in late June will be a huge draw for attendance at this year’s Pride events,” said Board President Gary Virginia. “After 45 years, SF Pride continues to be a significant platform for advancing our LGBT movement and celebrating our victories.”

Organizational Grand Marshal Transgender Law Center Community Grand Marshal - Alicia Garza, #blacklivesmatter Co-founder Community Grand Marshal - Brian Basinger, AIDS Housing Alliance/SF Community Grand Marshal - Belo Cipriani, award-winning author and disabilities advocate Lifetime Achievement Grand Marshal - Felicia Elizondo, transgender community leader

Information on participating in the parade, purchasing event tickets, advertising opportunities, or becoming an exhibitor, sponsor or donor may be found at www.sfpride.org or by calling 415864-0831.

Brian Basinger

Belo Cipriani

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BAY TIMES APRIL 3 0 , 2 0 1 5

Mary Midgett

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

PHOTO BY WILLIAM F. WILSON

Monica Helms

Patrick Carney

UNLESS NOTED, PHOTOS COURTESY OF SF PRIDE

This year’s Pride Parade will take place on Sunday, June 28, in downtown San Francisco beginning at 10:30am. A two-day celebration and festival is scheduled from noon to 6:00pm on Saturday, June 27, and from 10:30am to 6:00pm on Sunday, June 28, at San Francisco’s Civic Center Plaza Park.

Tita Aida

Judy Dlugacz

PHOTO BY IRENE YOUNG

The report also provided a breakdown of attendees: 20% come from San Francisco, 42% come from other parts of the Bay Area, 18% are from other parts of California, 15% are from other U.S. states, and 5% travel here for the event from other countries.

The Gilbert Baker Pride Founder’s Award Patrick Carney, Pink Triangle Organizer and Co-founder

Julia and Sam Thoron

Tom Taylor and Jerome “Jerry” Goldstein

Audrey Joseph

Rainbow Honor Walk James Baldwin: Passionate Advocate for Human Rights

By Dr. Bill Lipsky

The love story of a white man living in Paris who cannot decide between two lovers—one a woman, the other a man—it included a candid description of a same-sex love affair. No major American publisher would accept the manuscript until Baldwin, who would not be dissuaded by his agent, found a publisher in Great Britain.

In 1953, when he was only 29 years old, James Baldwin published Go Tell It on the Mountain, his first novel. The semiautobiographical story of growing up in a deeply difficult world of poverty, institutional racism, and adolescent homosexual awakening made him world famous. The work was so personal because Baldwin believed, “One writes out of one thing only— one’s own experience.” When, years later, a television interviewer asked him to describe the challenges he had encountered at the beginning of his career as “a black, impoverished homosexual,” Baldwin simply laughed and replied, “I thought I’d hit the jackpot.”

Having grown up black, poor, and gay in a predominantly white, sexist, and racially biased United States, Baldwin, sadly, felt he could write the book not in Harlem, the community where he grew up and the novel’s setting, but

only in Europe. He moved there in 1948, soon after walking into a restaurant where the waitress explained that black people were not served. Thoroughly disenchanted by American prejudice against minorities, he remained abroad until 1957.

After the book became a great critical and popular success, many labeled him the new “Negro novelist.”

Baldwin, however, refused to be categorized. “Human beings,” he stated, “cannot ever be labeled.”

Labels, he believed, not only simplified and compromised our complex individuality, but forced us into hurtful categories. “People refuse,” he explained, “to function in so neat and one dimensional a fashion.”

To avoid being typed as an author, Baldwin’s second novel, Giovanni’s Room, published in 1956, said nothing about “the Negro experience,” or any other experience, in the United States.

Baldwin, who was open about his sexual orientation, also rejected James Baldwin sexual labels and definitions. He believed that love was love, consummate, boundless, and gender blind. “Those terms, homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual,” he said,” are 20th-Century terms which, for me, really have very little meaning.” They led first to cultural stereotypes and then, worse, to the belief by individuals that there was something wrong with them when they could not live up to idealized expectations. “You have to decide who you are and force the world to deal with you, not with its idea of you.”

Beginning in 1949 with “The Preservation of Innocence,” an essay published in Zero, a Moroccan journal, Baldwin affirmed homosexual desire as natural and legitimate. He argued that homophobia was a result of sexism, which claimed that men were naturally superior to women and so gave them “sexual supremacy” to

direct political, social, economic, and domestic life. The sexists, he wrote, reviled homosexual men because, in the mythology of homophobia, they were imitation women. Their assumed effeminacy challenged domestic femininity as well as staunch masculinity, and, like women, they were inferior because they were not “men,” because their sexuality was not male. The article did not appear in print in the United States until 1989.

Baldwin denounced racism, sexism, and homophobia his entire life.

“Whether or not homosexuality is natural seems to me completely pointless,” he wrote, “pointless because I really do not see what difference the answer makes. It seems clear, in any case, at least in the world we know, that no matter what encyclopedias of physiological and scientific knowledge are brought to bear the answer never can be yes. And one of the reasons for this is that it would rob the normal—who are simply the many—of their very necessary sense of security and order.”

Although he returned to the United States in 1957 to become active in the civil rights movement, he would live in France for most of his later life.

Baldwin explored the interconnections between sexual insecurities and racial hostilities across his career, from Another Country, published in 1962, to The Evidence of Things Not Seen, published two years before he died in 1987. He not only concerned himself with the experiences of blacks in American society, but also with the entire web of beliefs, prejudices, and

justifications that pained relations between the races—and with the ways that gender interactions and sexual relations often blocked reconciliation, forgiveness, and love.

With no reason to believe that he could ever leave destitution, Baldwin, born in 1924, triumphed over every disadvantage to become one of the greatest, most insightful, and eloquent of American humanists. In his writings—novels, essays, plays, poetry, and social commentary—he continuously explored the presence of racial, sexual, gender, class, and identity bias in Western cultures, and their impact on individual lives. The insight and passion of his thoughts and words, which made him such a vital advocate for racial equality and human rights during his lifetime, will endure to make him a champion of humanity for all time.

Bill Lipsky, Ph.D., author of “Gay and Lesbian San Francisco” (2006), is a member of the Rainbow Honor Walk board of directors.

David Perry oversees the Rainbow Honor Walk series. He is co-founder and cochair of the nonprofit R a inbow Honor Walk, which has created a landmark memorial in the Castro to heroes and heroines of the LGBT community.

He is also the CEO and Founder of Dav id Perr y & A ssociates, http://www.davidperry.com/

BAY T IM ES APR IL 30, 2015

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Four Signs Your Relationship Is in Trouble and tracking signs of stress or relaxation with sensors.

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman Co-Founders in 1978

Gottman found that certain types of negative interactions were so lethal to a relationship, that he termed them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

When a couple’s communication has become dominated by these kinds of exchanges, the relationship is in serious trouble:

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Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT (Editor’s Note: This article is the first of a three-part series entitled “Strengthening Relationships.”)

After watching a couple communicating with each other for just five minutes, psychologist John Gottman can predict, with 91 percent accuracy, whether they’ll break-up or stay together. He learned to do this by observing many volunteer couples interact in overnight stays in a specially fabricated apartment in Seattle. The couples were instructed to act as naturally as possible, despite teams of scientists watching them behind oneway mirrors, taping every interaction,

1. Criticism In successful relationships, a lot of complaining goes on. Both parties say what they don’t like and what bothers them about each other. But complaining isn’t the same thing as criticizing. A complaint only addresses the specific action that you don’t like, for example, “I’m angry that you left your shorts on the bedroom floor last night.” A criticism is more global, tacking on jabs at your partner’s personality, such as, “You’re always such a slob. You left your shorts on the floor again? Can’t you ever learn? Or is it that you just don’t care about me?” etc.

Criticism adds blame and character assassination to a specific complaint. The easiest way to turn a clean complaint into a nasty criticism is to add the words, “What’s wrong with you?”

2. Contempt Behaviors like sneering, name-calling, eye rolling, mockery and hostile humor all convey contempt or disgust toward a partner. Of the four Horsemen, Gottman found that contempt is by far the most lethal to a relationship. A close cousin to contempt is belligerence, a form of aggressive anger that includes threats or provocations.

Contempt is usually a by-product of long-standing unresolved conflicts in a relationship, which lead to simmering negative thoughts about the partner.

When a couple has reached the stage of mutual contempt, the relationship is infected with a kind of cancer and is in serious trouble. Contempt is also physically unhealthy. The research showed that couples who are contemptuous of one another are more likely than other people to suffer from infectious illnesses, such as colds and flus.

3. Defensiveness It’s natural to respond to criticism or contempt by defending oneself, but Gottman found that this reaction rarely has the desired effect. The partner doing the attacking usually doesn’t back down or apologize. That’s because defensiveness is really a way

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Producers Fred Sullivan and Jaime Botello welcomed participants, exhibitors, performers and fashion models to the Bently Reserve on Sunday, April 19, for the Gay Vanity Wedding Show.

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of blaming your partner and of saying, in effect, “The problem isn’t me; it’s you.” Defensiveness just escalates the conflict, which is why it’s so deadly to a relationship.

4. Stonewalling This pattern usually arrives later in a relationship, after the first three Horseman have created a sense of hopelessness about resolving the conflicts. When criticism and contempt lead to defensiveness, which leads to more contempt and defensiveness, eventually one party tunes out. You come home, your boyfriend starts in on you, and you respond by walking out of the room. Or you stay, but you look down or away, and sit impassively like a stone wall, conveying the impression that you couldn’t care less about what you’re hearing. The mask of indifference is fake: stonewallers are actually flooded with hurt, anxiety, and anger, and shut down to protect themselves from their emotional turbulence.

Gottman initially assumed, as do most couple counselors, that the key to saving relationships infected with these patterns was to teach them “fair fighting” techniques and better ways (continued on page 26)

GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow Tough Morning at SCOTUS The oral arguments before the Supreme Court in the marriage equality cases were disconcerting. I have rewritten the opening line to this column several times, but it comes down to that. I still believe we will emerge victorious, but the inner glee with which I have looked forward to the end of June has been replaced by optimistic trepidation.

Readers, do you recall a few years back when almost all the legal activists fighting for marriage equality watched with dread as our naive allies leapt into case against Prop 8, angling for a national ruling on marriage rights that most veterans of the battle thought was premature and unlikely? Do you remember the oral arguments in that case two years ago, where the justices made clear that they had no intention of ruling that the Constitution required marriage rights for same-sex couples? Do you recall how relieved everyone was when the Court ducked the main issue, dispensing with Prop 8 without dealing us a decades-long setback?

Well, Tuesday’s arguments provided a stark reminder of how excruciatingly difficult our position remains.

Yes, I think we’ll win. But by the skin of our teeth. Why? Because for all the progress we’ve made, for all the arguments we can muster in our favor, the conservative men on this Court still believe same-sex marriage is a modern invention with tenuous roots in the Constitution. They still believe that a constitutional mandate in favor of marriage from the High Court will “end the debate” that the country has only recently engaged. They believe in a “wait and see” posture that would effectively extend the “waiting” indefinitely and usher in what attorney Mary Bonauto called “a difficult period in our nation’s history.” That’s legalese for “a chaotic free-for-all of antigay discrimination.”

The word that kept coming to Justice Kennedy’s mind, he said, was “millennia,” specifically the millennia of man-woman marriage as measured against the scant few years of marriage equality. I’m sorry everyone, but WTF? What exactly did “marriage” mean back in one thousand B.C., pray tell?

As Justice Ginsburg pointed out, less than a century ago, marriage was a patriarchal institution where a man determined where and how the couple would live. Women could not get loans or credit without their husband’s consent. Blacks couldn’t marry whites. Divorce involved complex legal maneuvers, or maybe a trip to Mexico.

Gay couples have been living together out of the closet for decades as legal strangers, but what? Should we wait a few centuries to even the chronological score? When’s a good time? 2415?

2515? Star date something or other?

Justice Alito, in turn, noted that the ancient Greeks had no problem with reserving marriage for men and women, while allowing the men to have a little gay fling on the side. Surely, he prodded Bonauto, that shows that you can hold to a heterosexual standard for marriage without necessarily having any hostility for gays? Bonauto was heroic in keeping a straight face (so to speak) under this absurd line of questioning, but again, WTF? I’m no expert on ancient Greece, but here’s the thing: homosexuality in history has no correlation to the world we live in. These Spartan warriors, or whomever Alito was referencing, did not fall in love, get engaged, have a wedding, get a job and settle down to raise kids with the little woman in the kind of

domestic situation we associate with modern marriage. Nor do modern heterosexual married men today have young male sex slaves on the side. Not all of them anyway. Quite frankly, I don’t know exactly what they were up to back then, but whatever the hell it was, it has little bearing on the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution in 2015.

The Chief Justice, in turn, infuriatingly kept insisting that our side was not trying to win equal marriage rights, but was actually trying to change the definition of marriage, which he had looked up in many dictionaries. He has said this before, and it betrays his complete inability to see our cause as a legitimate demand for Equal Protection, or even a fundamental right.

To the extent that Roberts sees marriage as inherently heterosexual, he simply cannot understand our position as a matter of law. Period. And he won’t. Forget about a sixth vote for marriage equality. Just forget it.

Thomas said nothing, of course, and Scalia was his usual preposterous self.

As for our four allies on the left, they were stalwarts.

As you know, there were two arguments. The main one was whether or not there was a constitutional requirement for marriage equality, and the second was the question of whether a state should have to recognize a samesex marriage from elsewhere in the country. Obviously, if the answer to the first question is yes, the second one doesn’t matter. As such, the arguments in the second phase presumed that the answer to question one was no.

The interesting thing about the second argument was that it seemed clear that if the answer to question one is no, the answer to question two is also no. If the Court were to decide that marriage equality is not a constitutional mandate, there’s no basis then to insist that same-sex marriage be recognized around the country.

Obviously, such a decision would effectively legalize marriage equality even after the Court had determined that states should retain the right to preserve their own antigay policies.

I have to say that I agree. The notion that the Court will “split the baby” or “compromise” by ruling no on one and yes on two would leave the country in a royal constitutional mess. The Court seemed to realize this would be a nonsensical outcome, which gives me more hope that we will prevail on the main question.

But here’s the other main takeaway from the arguments. I don’t know if I want to call it homophobia per se, but the level of unease surrounding the notion of gay equality remains so powerful that I can’t imagine we will win the resounding Equal Protection victory that we seek. Instead, I think we’ll see an opinion that says, not that gays are the equal of others, but that everyone deserves the fundamental right to marry, even gays.

As we’ve discussed often enough, the Court has ruled in the past that the fundamental right to marry under the Due Process Clause applies to incarcerated felons and deadbeat dads among others. Extending it to gay couples hardly elevates us to a constitutional status that demands legal respect in other contexts. It simply gives us the right to marry, which is fantastic; don’t get me wrong.

But it would also mean that we face years and years of political struggles to fight discrimination in work and housing and public accommodation.

These struggles will be exacerbated by the f lawed notion that prejudice parading around in the form of an individual’s “religious” objection to gays and lesbians is itself some kind of pre-

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cious right to be protected at all costs.

There’s almost a sense that “it’s only fair” that if gays get to marry, their adversaries get to treat them like dirt.

Scalia himself has written that we can’t allow individuals to ignore public laws and policy based on faith without running the risk that every man becomes a law unto himself.

What’s to stop anyone from claiming an arcane religious conflict with whatever civil obligation he or she prefers to ignore? And yet we are seeing the far right attempt to formulate a gay exception to this basic social comity. And without a strong opinion to the contrary, we will be forced to confront this trend for the foreseeable future.

If there’s been a sense of malaise floating through my remarks so far, I’d like to add some positive spin. A negative ruling by the Court would send shock waves through the country, a country with a slim majority that favors marriage equality. A negative ruling would demolish the momentum of the gay rights movement. It wouldn’t just preserve the status quo or “let the debate continue.” It would end the debate. It would revive and invigorate the social conservative right. It would put the Supreme Court’s stamp of approval on second-class citizenship, discrimination and prejudice. It would be a Dredd Scott moment. My point is that the Court does not have an “off ramp” to use the latest expression, and I think even the conservative side knows this.

Second, I can’t imagine that Justice Kennedy will take his legacy as the champion of gay equality and flush it down the toilet. Were he to rule against marriage equality, his decisions in Romer, Lawrence and Windsor would be reduced to worthless dicta, effectively overturned by a decision that leaves states free to impose the moral judgments of the majority on a disfavored class of citizens. I haven’t mentioned the arguments that were offered by the state attorneys who defended the marriage bans, but that’s because they had no logical case. (Unless you agree that the sole purpose of marriage is to create stable households for the biological children of heterosexual couples.)

That said, Kennedy would not only have to turn his back on his own jurisprudence, but he would also have to come up with a new rationale for doing so. After all, Kennedy himself has made it clear that the children of gay families have as much at stake in marriage, if not more, than their parents.

So, we will win. I think. Mary Bonauto did a fantastic job of sparring with the justices, as did Solicitor General Donald Verrilli Jr., arguing for the United States in favor of marriage equality and Douglas Hallward-Driemeier, who took on the recognition question. I just wish the justices on the right had a little less pompous respect for the venerable tradition of disdain for gay men and women.

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I’m sure there’s a lot of other GLBT news to report, but I don’t have the heart to dig around for tidbits. The Bruce Jenner story is amazing, but too big to cover in the limited space that remains. Meanwhile, the fact that Baltimore is falling apart at the seams is jarring my ability to concentrate on anything short of landmark Supreme Court news.

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No one approves of looting and riots. But if I, a white baby boomer female living in Austin, have become enraged—literally—by the routine murders of young Black men by renegade law enforcement officers, how must actual young Black men be feel(continued on page 26)

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Round About - Spring Fling!

Photos by Rink

Openhouse’s 15th Anniversary was celebrated at Spring Fling 2015 on Sunday, April 26, at the Four Seasons Hotel in San Francisco. A full house of supporters and friends attending were enthralled by moving stories and accounts told by honorees Sandra Hernandez, MD, Hon. James C. Hormel and Michael P. Nguyen.

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LGBT Seniors Are Particularly Vulnerable to Both Mental and Physical Abuse neglect. Some factors that may make LGBT elders more vulnerable to maltreatment are: Increased risk of isolation

Aging in Community Mary Twomey, MSW I’ve worked in the field of elder abuse prevention for the past 25 years and, sadly, I’ve heard many stories about elder abuse in our community. Our reluctance to face the consequences of our aging can mean that we put ourselves at risk not only for the typical challenges of aging, but also for the possibility of abuse, neglect or domestic violence in later life.

Dr. Atul Gawande in his new book Being Mortal poses several diff icult questions for Americans about our aversion to talking about, and planning for, the inevitability of aging and its concomitant losses. LGBT baby boomers are as reluctant as our straight brothers and sisters to have the difficult conversations about aging, even though the consequences of not having them may be more serious for us.

The research on maltreatment in the LGBT elder population is scarce, but we do know that in the general population of those 60+ years, 1 in 10 individuals will experience abuse or

LGBT seniors are more likely than heterosexual seniors to live alone and are less likely to have a family member to turn to when they are ill or in need of assistance. Our chosen families tend to be similar in age and may be experiencing their own aging challenges and therefore might not be available to assist us in our time of need.

Fear of discrimination Even though Adult Protective Services (APS) is charged with honoring the self-determination of clients while working with them to reduce maltreatrement, LGBT seniors still are reluctant to access these services.

Poor health Studies report that LGBT older adults and seniors have higher rates of chronic illness as well as higher rates of drug/alcohol abuse.

Limited financial resources According to recent studies, LGBT seniors experience high rates of poverty. LGBT senior couples who are not married receive fewer benef its than married couples, leaving many of us with more limited financial resources to arrange for appropriate care and appropriate caregivers.

If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes another kind of village to help someone live out their life with independence and dignity. Dr. Gawande points out that if we live in denial,

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and never have the difficult conversations, we could find ourselves living outside of that village. The following are some true stories (names changed) involving gay elders in San Francisco; they illustrate some of the factors mentioned above: Mary and Jean lived together for more than 50 years. Mary developed dementia and Jean took care of her by herself for several years until Jean fell ill from exhaustion. Jean was resistant to reaching out for help. Soon she was no longer able to take good care of Mary, and both women started to neglect themselves. When Jean called 911 one night because Mary had fallen, paramedics found both women in their home in a terrible state.

They were transported to the hospital and never returned to their home.

Seth and Joe broke up 12 years ago, but when Seth needed care at home, he asked Joe for assistance. When a neighbor got suspicious about never seeing Seth out and about, they called Adult Protective Services who came out to check on him. Joe refused to let the APS worker see Seth, but later, after APS had called the police, he relented. Seth was found severely dehydrated and malnourished. Later it was determined that Joe had transferred all of Seth’s money into his own bank account.

Gene met a younger man. A few months after their relationship started, Gene and his new lover went to Gene’s attorney’s off ice and Gene made a new will. In that will, he left everything to the new lover, cutting out his two adult children with whom he had good relationships. Several weeks later, Gene fell down the stairs

in his home. The lover later told police that he had found Gene’s body in the early hours of the morning, but had not called anyone at that time because he was clearly dead.

The signs of elder abuse can be extremely overt (e.g., a bruise on the face) or very subtle (e.g., using undue inf luence to convince someone to change their will). The National Center on Elder Abuse has a wealth of information about signs, research, and resources (www.ncea.aoa.gov). While one sign does not necessarily indicate abuse, here are some indicators that there could be a problem: •Bruises, broken bones, abrasions, and burns can be signs of physical abuse.

•Sudden changes in financial situations may be the result of exploitation.

•Bedsores, unattended medical needs, poor hygiene, and unusual weight loss are indicators of possible neglect.

•Bruises around the breasts or genital area can occur from sexual abuse.

•Behavior such as belittling, threats, and other uses of power and control are indicators of verbal or emotional abuse.

culturally competent services that are available for older LGBT individuals in our area. If you wish to report about someone who is a victim of abuse, call Adult Protective Services. Their services are confidential, and in the Bay Area they are LGBT-friendly. The Department of Aging and Adult Services also offers a Senior Information and Referral Hotline that can provide information about services that can be put in place to prevent abuse, neglect or self-neglect from happening in the first place. To find them—for yourself or a loved one—go to the Department of Aging and Adult Services website at http://www.sfhsa.org/DAAS.htm or call them at (415) 355-6700. They are there and waiting to have a conversation with you.

Mary Twomey, MSW, is Program Manager for the Aging Initiative at the University of California, Berkeley, School of Social Welfare. Previously, Mary was co-director of both the National Center on Elder Abuse and the Center of Excellence on Elder Abuse and Neglect at UC Irvine. From 2000– 2007, she ran a local multi-disciplinary Consortium for Elder Abuse Prevention in San Francisco.

•Depression, alcohol/drug abuse and dementia may be predictors of selfneglect.

Dr. Marcy Adelman oversees the Aging in Community column. For her summary of current LGBT senior challenges and opportunities, please go to: sf baytimes.com/challenges-andopportunties

•Strained or tense relationships, and frequent arguments between the caregiver and elderly person may signal the relationship is in trouble.

I encourage all of us to start talking about, and planning for, our own aging. There are many excellent and

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From San Francisco City Hall to the U.S. Supreme Court

Marriage Equality Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, Marriage Equality USA The atmosphere was electric and the excitement and anticipation palpable, as over a thousand LGBT people from all across the country gathered in Washington, DC, on Tuesday for the historic marriage equality arguments before the United States Supreme Court. Plaintiffs from over 30 cases, spanning three decades— from Hawaii to South Dakota to Florida—came to Washington to be there. LGBT people from all walks of life gathered to witness, and participate in, history. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence stood beside young LGBT couples with babies nestled on their backs. LGBT people in their 80s and a diverse array of LGBT and supportive religious leaders came. A teenage son of lesbian moms proudly held a sign up high that said, “I have 2 moms—Life is good!” as he stood aside his younger brother and sister.

High school students in town for the annual “constitution” competition, testing their knowledge of American law, were thrilled to meet the people whose lives these cases would directly

affect, and were clearly bewildered and disturbed by the bizarre and hurtful things the smattering of opponents kept yelling. A young lesbian held a sign: “Lesbian girls just want to have FUNdamental rights.” Indeed, a cross section of our diverse community came to Washington to demand just that: our fundamental Constitutional rights. We and others gathered felt a profound sense of pride when we looked up and saw the brave LGBT people who are plaintiffs in the cases ascend with their attorneys the Supreme Court’s white marble steps, gleaming in the bright spring sunshine. They sought what other LGBT Americans and countless other Americans have sought throughout our nation’s history: fulfillment of the promise etched atop the Supreme Court building itself: “Equal Justice Under Law.” Inside, the Justices pounded the attorneys on both sides of the case with myriad questions, with the Justices often interrupting each other. We were heartened by the fact that a majority of the Justices’ questions and comments seemed to recognize that having equal access to marriage was critical to LGBT people’s dignity.

Several of the Justices appeared skeptical of the opponents’ arguments that marriage for LGBT couples would somehow cause heterosexuals no longer to marry or to have children in marriage. Other questions suggested that a majority of Justices perceived accurately that the issue in the cases is the exclusion of samesex couples from marriage—and not, as opponents claim, simply a benign choice to have marriage only for different-sex couples.

After every Supreme Court argument, people attempt to predict the outcome of the case and what the legal reasoning of the opinion will be.

Accurately foreseeing such matters is impossible, and unfortunately, we will have to wait very likely until the last week of June, when the Court annually issues its landmark decisions.

Two years ago, the Supreme Court in United States v. Windsor eloquently articulated the harm DOMA caused to same-sex couples essential human dignity, although the Court asked no particular questions on the subject during its hearing on that case. The Court has received over 75 briefs from plaintiff couples, myriad LGBT people and organizations, and other active allies. The briefs cover comprehensively every argument regarding LGBT and marriage equality.

For us and many other LGBT San Franciscans—and, in many ways, the nation—the journey to full nationwide equality began 11 years ago on the steps of San Francisco City Hall, when then mayor Gavin Newsom opened the door for same-sex couples to marry. Over a decade later, that journey has taken us to the steps of the United States Supreme Court. We look to the Court to open the door to nationwide marriage equality, the culmination of this phase of the journey to full equality for LGBT people in every aspect of their lives.

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.

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I recently read an online article by Anthony D’Ambrosio who wrote that “marriages today just don’t work.” He went on to mention that his generation (he is 29 years old and divorced) “isn’t equipped to handle marriages—and here’s why:

5. Social media just invited a few thousand people into bed with you.”

He elaborated on each of his statements. For example, concerning sex he wrote: “It’s no wonder why insecurities loom so largely these days. You have to be perfect to keep someone attracted to you. Meanwhile, what your lover should really be attracted to is your heart. Maybe if you felt that

Regarding finances, he posited that the strain of earning a living “halts us from being able to live life…Part of life is being able to live. Not having the finances to do so takes away yet another important aspect of our relationships. It keeps us inside, forced to see the life everyone else is living.”

And, I would add, provides additional strain as we compare our lives with others who are seemingly doing “better.”

D’Ambrosio’s most troublesome point is #4. In terms of attention versus love he espoused, “If you want to love someone, stop seeking attention from everyone because you’ll never be satisfied with the attention from one person…You can’t love someone when you’re preoccupied with worrying about what others think of you.

Whether it be posting pictures on social media, buying homes to compete with others or going on lavish vacations—none of it matters.”

While I agree that comparing ourselves with others isn’t helpful or healthy, in my experience, 20 and 30-somethings do not categorically crave attention over love. Perhaps some people think that attention will bring them love. As a person’s accomplishments and pursuits are shared (typically online), the “right” person might become interested, interested enough to initiate contact that could lead to a date and eventually a relationship.

I was all set to use my column as a sort of rebuttal to D’Ambrosio. Then, thanks to modern/social media, my work was done for me by Kevin A Thompson, who entitled his recent blog posting “Ignore the Internet: Marriage Still Works.”

Thompson began by acknowledging that “D’Ambrosio correctly identified five problems, which could hinder any marriage.” Thompson then wrote that D’Ambrosio “comes to a false conclusion that they are unique to his generation…” The blogger continued, “While I do not doubt that D’Ambrosio sees many failed marriages around him, what he fails to see are the many marriages which are thriving in the midst of the very culture which he claims hurts marriage.”

There is plenty of evidence regarding marriages that terminate, rather than flourish. After seven years of officiating weddings, my 100% success rate has recently become blemished.

Failed marriages are a reality, but the demise of marriage is not particular to younger generations.

I still believe that marriage is right for those who choose this path. Thompson concluded his blog posting by writing, “Marriage still works.”

I agree.

Howard M. Steiermann is an Ordained Ritual Facilitator based in San Francisco.

For more information, please visit www.

SFHoward.com

BAY T IM ES APR IL 30, 2015

17

Sarah Bush Dance Project Uses Movement As Language Sarah Bush and her company of talented dancers provide evidence for these powerful words shared by Bush: “Dance is the vehicle through which I move in the world. It is the language I use to explore ideas, express emotions and tell stories. Dance is the tool-kit with Photos by Molly DeCoudreaux

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which I am equipped to honor, celebrate, inspire, educate, entertain, and enhance lives and to positively impact society. I create dances that show strong, emotional, well-rounded women—dances that inspire all women to feel better about our place in the world.”

#KateClinton My people are waiting to hear from the Pope’s people. Say a prayer. I might open the Popelooza this fall!

Arts & Entertainment

Rocked By Women Pays Tribute in Dance to Women’s Culture Heroes Oakland-based Sarah Bush Dance Project explores issues of identity, gender, and sexuality within the broader themes of love, relationships, loss, power and empowerment.

Several of us at the San Francisco Bay Times were recently wowed by their dreamy, heartfelt dancing that seemed to arise organically from the sold-out audiences at Berkeley’s Freight & Salvage during recent concerts celebrating the 40th anniversary of Cris Williamson’s “The Changer and the Changed” album.

You can see their beauty and brilliance for yourselves soon, both at the National Center for Lesbian Rights Anniversary Celebration on May 2 (see special section on NCLR in this issue) and at Mother’s Day weekend performances of their full-length show, Rocked By Women.

Sarah Bush

Here, dancer and choreographer Sarah Bush is interviewed by Sara St. Martin Lynne, who is a filmmaker and story midwife at fishwithoutabicycle.com

PHOTO BY LISA HARDING

Sara St. Martin Lynne: How does your personal and professional life story intersect with art and communities made for and by women?

Sarah Bush: I was raised on Women’s Music—Cris Williamson, Holly Near, Margie Adam, Meg Christian. As a young adult, I got involved with Olivia Travel and got to meet so many of these women that made the music I grew up singing. In 2001, I joined the feminist dance company Dance Brigade in San Francisco, and through them I’ve been a performer at the Michigan Women’s Music Festival, celebrating musicians I know and love and discovering new ones. In the late 90s, I was fortunate enough to be choreographing and dancing at Page Hodel’s fantastical Club Q. Sara St. Martin Lynne: What is your earliest memory of an image that communicated female strength?

Sarah Bush: The album cover image from Cris Williamson’s “The Changer And The Changed.” I was 2 or 3 years old, lying on the brown shag carpet of my childhood living room, studying the image of Cris in nothing but overalls (a look I wore until the day I remember I was told that only the boys could go shirtless), alone, but smiling, sunny, free in the desert.

Sara St. Martin Lynne: Beautiful!

How does that image impact this work?

Sarah Bush: That image seems to be what I’ve shaped my life into…the desert is my spiritual home. The image said to me, “be happy in your own skin.

You can be any kind of woman you want to be.” Rocked By Women is my best attempt of saying “thank you” to the women whose music and leadership have shaped my life and to hopefully keep bringing their work to new audiences.

Sara St. Martin Lynne: How did it feel the first time you walked into an environment that was created by and

for women?

Sarah Bush: Let’s see…that would’ve been…Page Hodel’s Club Q in San Francisco. It was amazing. It felt like freedom. The go-go dancers, choreography, the crowd’s dance moves, even the lyrics to the songs; it was all for women. We got to claim all that. We were together, feeling free in our sexuality, in our bodies.

Sara St. Martin Lynne: How does Rocked By Women express that feeling?

Sarah Bush: Club Q brought together all ages, shapes, sizes, and colors of women, and showed us all as sexy, beautiful, powerful. Using music, video, and dance, Rocked By Women takes the audience into the environments of Club Q , Michfest, a Dance Brigade rehearsal and an Olivia Cruise. The Sunday show is followed by a panel discussion with community leaders that will bring

their different experiences of Women’s Music and Communities. RBW is a story about women, told by women. It upholds women as complex, full, wellrounded, strong, vulnerable, human characters.

Sara St. Martin Lynne: What is your knowledge/experience of, or relationship to, Feminist or Lesbian history in Oakland?

Sarah Bush: I’ve heard about lesbian businesses and communities that thrived in Oakland before I moved here in 1997. I was majorly looped into the Lesbian Club scene in SF from 1997–2004. Olivia Travel had their offices in Oakland for many years, I have been to concerts and events at Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Club (closing soon). I’m very interested in further supporting Lenn Keller’s Bay Area Lesbian History Archives Project. I want to know more

about Oakland’s lesbian and feminist history. I’m looking forward to the post-show panel on Mother’s Day! Sara St. Martin Lynne: What pieces of women’s community do you most want to embody and express in your work?

Sarah Bush: A gratitude for the women who came before me. A celebration of women’s work and stories. Create work and performance environments where women feel safe and celebrated. Physical labor, hard work, lifting, pushing, pulling, supporting, taking risks, leaps of faith, catching each other, catching ourselves.

Sara St. Martin Lynne: What is next for you and what is next for Rocked

By Women?

Sarah Bush: We presented excerpts of Rocked By Women in a lecture demonstration as part of the

University of San Francisco’s Global Women’s Rights Forum. I am excited for RBW to be a traveling package. I want to keep bringing the show and a week of events to different campuses and communities.

I also want to start traveling to other countries with a videographer and a translator to do workshops where women write or record bits of their own autobiography and turn them into dances.

Here at home, I’ll be working on a new evening-length work, This Land, to celebrate the work and words of American Women landscape writers to be performed in the Bay Area in 2015/16.

Oh, and at inauguration.

Hillary

Clinton’s

For more information about Sarah Bush Dance Project and “Rocked By Women,” please visit: http://sarahbushdance.com/ BAY T IM ES APR IL 30, 2015

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Shifting Values Can Lead to Expanded Possibilities ARIES (March 21–April 19) End all things in your life that do not give you room to express your intensifying creative needs. Feeling creatively blocked may be a signal to drop what you are doing, head to the meditation cushion, and curiously engage with a new vision. Take a class or hang around people who encourage the process more than the results.

Astrology Linda Amburgey In order to ground ourselves in an expanded sense of possibilities, it is crucial to spend time rediscovering, updating, and determining what we value. Value and worth are intertwined and often confused. Values are as inherent as they are relative, and shifting values will change the worth of anything. Play with your aperture setting to bring into focus what genuinely and deeply matters to you. Notice if you have robotically aligned your self worth in relation to the values woven into the social context, and if those prescribed values reflect your truth. Your own brilliance is hinging upon your reevaluation and alignment to what is authentically yours. An immense and boundless personal path awaits your urgent validation.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Although you are not yet reaping the payoff of your budding aspirations, you are intensely focused on riding the flow of authentic self expression.

Before you acclaim your newly found skills, you are asked to make a sacrifice at the altar of humility in order to assure the path is a credible calling from your soul.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) Your antennas are piercing the mystery veil, and leaving you with a mouthful of awe- inspired discoveries to communicate.

However, it seems you just can’t convey the enormity of your direct experience through the narrow channels of ordinary human limitations. The whole point of this frustration is to stretch and widen your capacity so your cosmic purpose as the messenger is expanded. Seek guidance from trusted elders.

CANCER ( June 21–July 22) You have been in the dugout centering and aligning to the forces of the unseen. Now you must keep yourself attuned to the higher purpose while stepping up the plate.

Your turn at bat is a calling to serve the team whether you strike out or hit a home run. Trust that all experience has divine purpose.

LEO ( July 23–August 22) You are the alpha dog right now, and whatever you say becomes the law of the pack. Do not be discouraged if you are continually challenged by another pack member, as this is only serving to refine your understanding of your role. Your bark is boss, and bursting with wisdom.

VIRGO (August 23–September 22) You may find yourself literally or metaphorically in far away lands that inspire you and expand your sense of possibilities. Remember, it doesn’t matter where the four walls of your home rests, as true home exists within your own skin, bones, and consciousness. The right tribes will see your smoke signals no matter what land is under your feet.

LIBRA (September 23– October 22) You are expectantly following the

light of your inspiration only to find it leading you into the dark narrow tunnels of your deepest fears. Have faith because you are about to be spit out from the other end of the black hole, and into an entirely new and expanded Universe. Part of your divine purpose will be the wisdom to usher others through their dark nights.

SCORPIO (October 23– November 21) The raw power of your penetrating perception is a potential tool used to get to the underlying truth that is blocked by fears. It is crucial that you flush from your psyche any garbage that would have you manipulating the perceptions of those around you.

Alignment with your purest morals bestows upon you the greatest gift: the trust of others.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22–December 21) They say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Sensing the wisdom you carry from your own journey, seekers are falling at your feet begging for the truth. Keep your own moral compass clearly calibrated so you are able to guide your devotees back to their own maps, rather than assembling a congregation of worshipers.

CAPRICORN (December 22–January 19) Going against the grain of your cautious and disciplined self, you are compelled to play with matches right now. Don’t be surprised if you spark a wild fire inside of yourself.

A new canvas of possibilities arise when you stop making yourself color inside the lines and paint by numbers. Free your debaucherous self!

AQUARIUS ( January 20–February 18) Relationships are testing your capacity for intimacy by and stretching you into zones of discomfort. The simple formula is to drop into your own skin, be clear about your feelings and needs, and be truly open to the other. Nobody has to be right or wrong, good or bad, projector or projected upon. Meet and be met right where you are.

PISCES (February 19–March 20) Personalize your communication and don’t worry about being overly self referencing right now. Grab the ears of those who will let you purge and vent without demanding reciprocity. Sometimes a monologue with a witness or two is good medicine for everyone. You can return the favor another time.

Linda Amburgey has owned Crystal Way Metaphysical Center for 11 years, and has been an Intuitive Reader for 20 years.

To book readings, on-going counseling for couples or individuals, events and parties, please e-mail her at ConsciousCounsel@gmail.com or call 415-218-5096.

As Heard on the Street . . . What are you doing to conserve water?

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“I have reduced my shower time, no more baths, and we bathe our dogs all at once.”

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“I turn off the water while brushing my teeth.”

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“I am doing smaller loads of laundry in the kitchen sink instead of filling and running the washer.”

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Jane Lynch Talks About Her New Solo Concert Debut, and What She’s Craving from SF Just thinking about Jane Lynch makes us smile. From the first time we saw her in Christopher Guest’s hilarious mockumentary films to her ridiculously villainous Sue Sylvester character in Glee, we were hooked. When you see that Lynch is going to be in a project, you know it’s going to be good. Her intelligence and complete control of her roles always are evident, as is that mischievous glint in her eyes.

The fact that she’s an out lesbian who has done great work for charities such as The Trevor Project and PETA only sweetens the deal for us.

F RE E S A N F RA N C I S C O S E M I N A R

Life of Your Estate after Death: Probate and Trust Administration and Why Estate Planning Matters Speaker: Deb Kinney of Johnston, Kinney & Zulaica, LLP

Thursday, March 26, 6-7:30 p.m.

Hospice by the Bay 180 Redwood St., Suite 350 • San Francisco Who decides what happens to your assets after your death and how does it work? Learn about choosing successor trustees and fiduciaries to implement your estate plan, and how to make choices to prepare for a smooth transfer of assets – large and small – to intended beneficiaries, limiting administrative hurdles, cost and heartache.

We were thrilled to hear that she is planning a national tour, “See Jane Sing.” More than a dash of wit is expected, as Lynch explores her love of the beauty and absurdity of the American standard show tune in this new solo concert debut. The tour is now underway, and Lynch will be performing in San Francisco on May 9 at the Palace of Fine Arts Theatre. Her schedule is crazy busy, as you might imagine, but she thoughtfully took a break for an interview with the San Francisco Bay Times.

Attendees receive a complimentary estate planning organizer.

Reservations are required, register at

(415) 526.5580 or www.hbtb.org

San Francisco Bay Times: The show sounds incredible! Please share a few words about some of the songs, and why you selected them for your solo concert debut.

Jane Lynch: It’s quite a variety of musical styles. We have some jazzy songs, reimagined Broadway tunes, some ditties from my youth, and a love song medley that points to the futility of romantic relationships! I’m joined by my good friend Kate Flannery (Meredith from The Office) and Tim Davis (vocal arranger in Glee, great crooner) and we do some really tight 3-part harmonies. I’m backed by the amazing Tony Guerro quintet, and I’m so proud and in love with this show musically. I will hopefully be providing some hilarious patter. It’s a fast paced and energetic hour and a half that just flies by. You won’t know what hit ya. You will be smiling your face off just like we are after all is said and sung.

Serving the LGBT community and their allies sue@absolutelyfabuloustours.com www.absolutelyfabuloustours.com

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MORMON ‘Come Together’

Jane Lynch: Carol Burnett to me is the ultimate performer, the whole package. Hilarious and musical.

Though her name is the name of the show, it’s an ensemble piece and she magnanimously allows everyone to shine. I see that as my job in this show, and you’ll be thrilled with Kate and Tim and the band because as I always say, of myself I am nothing!

THE MUSIC OF THE BEATLES

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San Francisco Bay Times: We’ve loved seeing you here in San Francisco before, such as at the National Center for Lesbian Rights gala event. What are some of your favorite things to do, and places to go, in SF?

for the San Francisco Bay Times Pride Party!

Jane Lynch: I usually stay in the Castro with friends. I love Philz Coffee and always go there first thing.

Jane Lynch: I just finished a pilot for CBS called Angel From Hell and fingers crossed we go to series. I’ll continue touring with See Jane Sing throughout the year.

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San Francisco Bay Times: Who are some of your own favorite cabaret singers, and how have they inspired and inf luenced your work?

S a n Fr a nc i s c o Bay Ti me s: Please mention any other new/ upcoming projects, or anything else that you’d like our readers to know.

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21

Actress and Writer Maria Bello Adds a New Letter to Our LGBT Acronym: “W” and partnership.

Gary M. Kramer: You write rather painfully, and quite candidly, about the struggles you have experienced over the course of your life. What coping skills have you found to be effective?

Laughter seems to be the one you advocate for the most.

Maria Bello: There are not many people who go throughout life without having trouble. I can’t answer questions (like this for others), but I question for myself, and it’s what to do with that pain. I turn my pain into compassion, and to do that, I had to learn to accept what happened, that I am in the right place, doing the right thing. Take that pain and turn it into compassion. For myself, and my family, it was about acknowledging where my father’s pain came from and understanding mental illness, and addiction, and learning to forgive others and to forgive ourselves.

Film Gary M. Kramer Maria Bello may be known for her roles in films such as A History of Violence, and The Cooler, but she garnered considerable attention for her essay “Coming Out as a Modern Family” when it appeared in the “Modern Love” column in The New York Times. In the essay, Bello explained how she told her son Jack about her relationship with Clare, her best friend. His response: “Whatever, Mom, love is love.” Bello uses this phrase as the title of her new book, a collection of essays that questions labels and identity. In a recent phone interview, Bello spoke about her life, work, and family.

Gary M. Kramer: How did the success of your magazine story about being “whatever” change your life and visibility?

Maria Bello: After the New York Times article, I had so many people saying “I’m a whatever,” or “I have a whatever family.” It was a duty or responsibility; I think people want to talk about labels to see if they empower us or dis-empower us. I am proud to be a part of the

Gary M. Kramer: What can you say about the characters you play? Your role in Downloading Nancy affected me deeply. Are the characters you play an extension of your life?

LGBTW community that fights (for the right) to love whomever you love and to marry whomever you want to marry. “Whatever” identifies as anything. There is a lack of restriction. I see that with a lot of traditional labels, which don’t fit a lot of people anymore, especially in terms of family

Maria Bello: Downloading Nancy was one of my favorite films. I do believe all the parts I play are some other person.

There are hundreds of crevices of pain and joy from my past. I draw on the pieces that character possesses. For Nancy, I’m sure I drew from my suicidal experiences and from my bipolar disorder. I didn’t create her, (but) I was her at some point.

Gary M. Kramer: You mention (continued on page 26)

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “Lots of holidays coming up: so let me be the first to wish you all a Happy May Day (get out your May Pole), Happy Cinco de Mayo (celebrate the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862 - or just wear a big Mexican hat and drink tequila), and a Happy Mother’s Day to yo’ momma!”

Each year EQUALITY CALIFORNIA (EQCA) honors the inspirational

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leaders and outstanding allied organizations whose selfless work helps create a better world for all people. The EQUALITY AWARDS recognize the achievements of the organization, its sponsors, members, staff and volunteers, as well as the LGBTQ community. The ceremonial dinner was held at the Westin St. Francis where Equality California Institute Board President Joyce Rowland presented the Vanguard Leadership Award to former Congressman Barney Frank for his trailblazing leadership in the House of Representatives from 1981 to 2013. Frank played an important role in the LGBTQ civil rights movement for over two decades. Frank spoke with his usual humor and, dare I say, frankness about the spread of supposed “religious freedom acts” that are outright homophobic attacks, as well as the importance of electing LGBTQ politicians regardless of their party.

State Senator Mark Leno presented the Community Leadership Award to both Geoff Kors and Jody Cole for their outstanding work advancing LGBTQ rights. Geoff Kors, former Executive Director of Equality California, and Jody Cole, former Equality California Institute Board President, both were among the key architects of the queer community’s strategy to achieve marriage equality and comprehensive civil rights protections for LGBTQ Californians.

California State Controller Betty Yee and State Farm’s Joe Freund presented Suzy Jones with the State Farm Good Neighbor Award. Jones, a longtime LGBTQ civil rights activist in San Francisco, received the award for her dedication and extraordinary service on Equality California’s Board of Directors from 2010 to 2014, and the important role she played representing and advocating for the San Francisco community in that role. San Francisco Supervisor David Campos and Supervisor Scott Wiener and Andrea Casalett,

event co-chairs, were speakers at the event, as was EQCA Board Development Chair Beth CollinsBurgard regarding the tragedy of queer teen suicides. EQCA Executive Director Rick Zbur screened videos of EQCA’s successes and gave a rousing speech about how we are all here “to proclaim our future full equality and social justice.”

LAMBDA LEGAL is one of the nation’s oldest and largest legal organizations working for the civil rights of lesbians, gay men, and people with HIV/AIDS. They pursue impact litigation; cases that will have the greatest impact in protecting and advancing the rights of LGBTQ people and those with HIV. Their docket ordinarily includes about 65 open cases at a time and also supports many important cases by filing friend-of-the-court (amicus) briefs. To toast Lambda’s landmark victories from over 40 years of successful impact litigation, we joined Lambda Legal’s Bay Area Leadership Council for a fabulous evening at City View at the Metreon for SOIREE 2015: HAVANA NIGHTS - Mojitos, Mambos and More! Sister Dana tried his first Kentucky Bourbon Mojito. Special guest was Elliot Fuerst, a 16-year-old transgender male student from upstate New York, who spoke of his being discriminated in the locker room and rest rooms until Lambda Legal interfered. He noted he was not the only transgender student at his school.

Lambda Legal Executive Director Kevin Cathcart inspired everyone, and we learned of Lambda Legal updates. He said we would probably have to wait at least eight weeks before we heard the outcome of the Supreme Court marriage case. “We have a lot of victories to celebrate and a lot more victories to come,” he concluded.

Festive entertainment was provided by Energia Do Samba, DJ Olga T, and Velocity Circus. (continued on page 26)

Breaking Down Barriers to Sports and Business

The KiAi Way Jamie Leno Zimron At a Civil Rights Summit in Austin last April 2014, basketball great Bill Russell related the current struggles of gay athletes fighting for equal playing opportunities with the decades-long discrimination faced by black athletes.

From school-age teams to professional sports, questions about whether LGBT teammates might cause disruption in locker rooms, or fan or PR problems, echo the era when colleges and pro sports were given civil rights mandates to end racial segregation and achieve integration.

Russell, now 80, led the Boston Celtics to 11 NBA championships and is a Hall of Fame legend. He joined panel members at the Austin Summit in emphasizing that civil rights is a matter of valuing every person for their humanity, and rewarding character and merit rather than discriminating on the basis of various traits. Russell then famously said, “I would have only one question about a gay teammate: Can he play?”

This is a great question, and it really is the only one that ought to have any relevance in sports. Or on any playing field of life. However, the question unfortunately still carries an inherent sexist bias. Bill Russell may or may not have been aware that the rightful question actually is: “Can he or she play?” Talent, dedication, and performance are what matter—as well as how one plays the game, win or lose.

Race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, dis/ability, etc. have no bearing on an individual’s right to play with dignity, and to have an equal chance to participate and to progress in any sport or profession. No one should have to suffer the effects of discrimination based on any of the ‘isms’ that have limited and even denied whole groups access to equal participation and pay, advancement opportunities, and respectful treatment.

The recent Every BusinessWoman Golf Retreat, held at Chardonnay Golf Club in Napa April 10–12, was designed to equip all women to be out there playing the games of golf, business, and business-golf. As I discussed last month leading up to this unique training event, both golf and business have quite frankly been domains long dominated by men, and by white people. Change is accelerating now, thanks to liberation movements and globalization influences. And it’s important that we’re all in the game, for our own well-being and as changeagents by our very presence.

Our Napa Retreat group very consciously consisted of all skill levels, a wide variety of professions and businesses, women ages 26 to 70, black, white, Latina, gay, straight, civilian and former military, east and west coast—not to mention a wonderful range of personalities! The diversity and bonding was awesome, and every participant expressed what an excellent, enjoyable and transformative learning experience they had.

Instructional began with an indoor

KiAi Golf session, where universal selfmastery skills of centering, grounding, balance, relaxation, and mind-body focus and coordination were combined with energy-flow and sequencing exercises to form a good golf swing. The program was full with putting, short game and full-swing practice; rules, etiquette and essentials for capitalizing on the business opportunities of golf; and very fun playing time and lessons amid the blooming vineyards of Chardonnay Golf Club. The last morning brought in current technology as LPGA Pro Rebecka Heinmert came over from the East Bay to share “Trackman” and the latest in video, apps and golf training aids.

Many times during the Retreat, I took a step back or a moment out just to behold in wonder the beauty of everyone blending together so well. The atmosphere was easy, inclusive and joyful as businesswomen ate and networked together, went through indoor and outdoor training sessions, practiced on the driving range, then rode around in golf carts playing as “foursome-mates” on the course.

It was a great honor and pleasure for me to co-teach with Dr. Renee Powell, who joined us from East Canton, Ohio. Renee is only the second African-American woman to play on the LPGA Tour (1967–1980), and just months ago she became one of the first seven women ever admitted to the Royal & Ancient Golf Club in St. Andrews. Renee was so generous and genuine in sharing her great talents as both a player and instructor.

Renee could play! Everyone soaked in her stories and insights from golfing professionally on Tour. But being allowed to play was far from straightforward. She also shared harrowing tales of what it was like to be a black female golfer, from hotels losing track of only her reservation, to playing partners having to stand up for her to be served in clubhouses and at restaurants, to receiving death threats during tournaments as she walked down fairways and onto greens. We were all inspired hearing the pioneering achievements of Renee and her father, William Powell, who was the first black golfer to ever design and build a golf course back in 1946. Renee’s humble humanity and giving spirit touched everyone profoundly.

I want to give a shout out to this newspaper and to “Betty’s List,” which brought Sonoma realtor Suzanne Ash

to the Napa Retreat. Suzanne is a very cool person and businesswoman, and has given me permission to share some of her experiences that I hope will be fun and motivating for everyone: “What you taught worked so well for me! So well that I can’t wait to be on the course, and am committed to being out there at least 3 days a week hitting balls and playing one day. You actually gave me the opportunity not only to improve my game, but also to really want to practice and play more often. Through the retreat, I just made myself more interesting! I’m working on a local project with several other female agents who are enthralled with the idea that this whole weekend mixed an activity (golf) with business, and made sure there was a diverse group of women linking their skills and experiences together. My roommate was a young golfer and entrepreneur from Antigua! My network just increased, and expanding my sphere of influence and confidence improves my business.

Frame 123

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*

The other day I was at one of my local courses to practice on the range and look into the Women’s Golf Club. I saw a tournament starting and had the confidence to join in, with only one other woman, and I got to play with two very influential guys who gave me kudos for just ‘walking on.’ They were great and we had so much fun. Also for the first time in one of these tournaments, my shots from the tee, fairway, putts and chips were used at least 50% of the time! My long ball is about 224 yards now. My putting…eh…but it was better this game than it has ever been. I had a very great time and lasted all 18 holes on a very long course.

Oh, and I know what irons are for… and I almost know which ones for which distances. I am now willing to say that I’m a golfer! This will help my business in many ways. Also knowing the rules of the game, what etiquette is appropriate, and when and why. I learned so much more, and I am so very glad I was there!”

And so I’d like to close for this month with this question: Will you play?!

Jamie Leno Zimron is an LPGA Pro, Aikido 5th Degree Black Belt, and Corporate Speaker-Trainer. Please check out her website: http://www.thekiaiway.com BAY T IM ES APR IL 30, 2015

23

See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

compiled by Robert Fuggiti

“Let There Be Love” will be at ACT through May 3.

• 30 : T HURSDAY

LGBT Two-Step – Sundance Saloon. $5. 6:30 pm to 10:30 pm.

(550 Barneveld Ave.) Enjoy San Francisco’s very own LGBT countywestern dance night. www.sundancesaloon.org Botticelli to Braque Art Exhibit – de Young Museum. $21.

9:30 am to 5:15 pm. (50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.) Spanning more

than 400 years of artistic production, this exhibition highlights works by many of the greatest painters from the Renaissance to the early 20th century. Through May 31. www.deyoung.famsf.com 90’s Tribute Night – Mighty.

Free. 9 pm. (119 Utah St.) Enjoy a throwback 90’s night playing your favorite hits of the decade. www.mighty119.com

• 1 : F RIDAY

Hairspray – Berkeley Playhouse. $25-$60. 12 pm and 5 pm. (2640 College Ave., Berkeley) Berkeley Playhouse continues their seventh season with Hairspray, directed by Producing Artistic Director Daren A.C. Carollo. Through May 17. www.berkeleyplayhouse.org Salonen Conducts The Firebird – San Francisco Symphony. $49-$121. 8 pm. (Davies Symphony Hall) Esa-Pekka Salonen conducts The Firebird, spirited music that mixes the vitality of Russian folk music with Stravinsky’s imaginative instrumentation and fierce rhythmic energy. www.sfsmphony.org Let There Be Love – American Conservatory Theater. $25-$80. 8 pm. (415 Geary St.) An intimate and often humorous family drama

by Kwame Kwei-Armah, one of Britain’s most distinguished contemporary playwrights. Through May 3. www.act-sf.org

• 2 : S ATURDAY

Golden Gate Model Railroad Exhibit – Randall Museum. Free.

10:30 am to 11:30 am. (199 Museum Way) Enjoy a special Saturday exhibit of the Golden Gate Model Railroad. www.randallmuseum.org The Mad Hatter Twisted Tea Party – Hyatt Vineyard Creed. $60. 2 pm. (170 Railroad St.) A benefit for the Green Dog Project, with special guest appearances by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. www.greendogproject.org NCLR 2015 Anniversary Celebration – National Center for Lesbian Rights. $100-$300. 5:30 pm. (55 4th St.) Annual dinner and dance party. www.nclrights.org 24

BAY TIMES APRIL 3 0 , 2 0 1 5

• 3 : S UNDAY

SF Garden Party + Awards – Chambers Eat & Drink. $120. 1 pm.

(601 Eddy St.) An evening to highlight activists in the community who have contributed to moving the issue of marriage equality forward. www.marriageequality.org A Midsummer Night’s Dream – Brava Theater Center. $5-$15. 7 pm. (2781 24th St.) A hilarious updated musical of Shakespeare’s classic tale of fairies, lovers and a magical forest. www.brava.org Jock – Lookout $2. 3 pm to 9 pm.

(3600 16th St.) A weekly fundraising party for Bay Area LGBT sports groups. www.lookoutsf.com

• 4 : MONDAY

San Francisco International Film Festival – Sundance Kabuki Cinemas. $25+. Various times.

(1881 Post St.) A showcase of more than 150 films and filmmakers with nearly two dozen combined cinematic awards. www.sffs.org Cinco De Mayo Celebration – Hecho. $25. 6 pm. (2200 Market St.) Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a tequila tasting with fun music and drink specials. www.hechoinsf.com Monday Night Sketch – Stage Werx Theatre. $10. 8 pm. (446 Valencia St.) An exciting night of imrov theater filled with passion and humor. www.stagewerx.org

• 5 : TUESDAY

Cinco de Mikeo – Chambers at the Phoenix Hotel. $55 suggested donation. 6 pm. (601 Eddy St.) A send-off party for AIDS Emergency

Fund Director Mike Smith as he moves to a role within the Breast Cancer Emergency Fund. www.tinyurl.com/5demikeo The News – SOMArts Cultural Center. Free. 7:30 pm. (934 Brannan St.) An evening featuring new works by Bay Area queer artists. www.somarts.org

• 6 : WEDNESDAY

The Book of Mormon – Orpheum Theatre. $60-$210. 8 pm.

(1192 Market St.)The Book of Mormon, winner of nine Tony Awards including Best Musical, returns to San Francisco. Through June 27. www.shnsf.com Tommy Igoe – Yoshi’s Oakalnd. $26-$75. 7:30 pm. (510 Embarcadero West) Enjoy a performance by acclaimed drummer Tommy Igoe and his 15-piece supergroup. www.yoshis.com Barnaby’s Babes, a True Variety Revue – Oasis. $15. 8:30 pm. (298 11th St.) A brand new show from Red Hots Burlesque, featuring live music, comedy and burlesque. www.sfoasis.com Dream Queens Revue – Aunt Charlie’s Lounge. Free. 9:30 pm to 11:30 pm. (133 Turk St.) A fabulous drag show you won’t want to miss!

Happening 2nd Wednesdays of the month. www.dreamqueensrevue.com

• 7 : T HURSDAY

Planning for Future Health Care Decisions – Hospice by The Bay. Free. 6 pm. (180 Redwood St.) Ensure your health care wishes will be carried out. Learn more at this free seminar. www.hospicebythebay.org

Play T-Dance Party – Lookout.

Free. 6 pm to 9 pm. (3600 16th St.) Mix, mingle and dance during one of San Francisco’s favorite T-dance parties. www.lookoutsf.com Romeo & Juliet – San Francisco Opera. $40-$245. 8 pm. (War Memorial Opera House) Witness the romance of Romeo & Juliet at Enore!’s final trio event of the 2015 season! www.sfwmpac.org

Friday Nights at the de Young – de Young Museum. $11. 6 pm to 8:45 pm. (50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.) Enjoy the museum in a fun, festive and dynamic atmosphere with live music and cocktails. www.deyoung.famsf.org LGBT Dance Party – Slate Bar. Free. 9 pm. (2925 16th St.) Join for a Middle Eastern and North African themed LGBT dance party. www.slate-sf.com BlowPony SF – Oasis. $7. 9 pm.

(298 11th St.) Enjoy live DJ sets from Airick X and DavO, with performances by Double Duchess and TT the Artist. www.sfoasis.com

• 9 : S ATURDAY

Drop Dead Gorgeous – The Castro Theatre. $32. 3 pm. (429 Castro St.) Peaches Christ invites you to attend the World Premiere of a death-defying new pre-show spectacular Drop Dead Gorgeous. www.castrotheatre.com Dinner & Live Music Event – Take 5 Café. $12. 5:30 pm. (3130 Sacramento St.) Join Andrea Prichett and Karen Soo Hoo for an intimate evening of acoustic originals and close harmonies.

Sapphosisters@yahoogroups.com Rocked By Women – Malonga Casquelourd Center for the Arts. $20-$75. 7 pm. (1428 Alice St.) In this evening length work, Sarah Bush Dance Project rocks through the life of a woman rocked by women. Also May 10. www.sarahbushdance.com

“Cinderella” at San Jose Center for the Performing Arts May 10

• 10 : S UNDAY

Cinderella – San Jose Center for the Performing Arts. $25-$110. 3:30 pm. (255 Almaden Blvd., San Jose) A delightful mix of classic storybook elements and magic. www.balletsj.org Women’s Social – Francis of Asssisi. Free. 3 pm to 5 pm. (145 Guerroro St.) Come join other lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) women for food and conversation. www.openhouse.org Ladies’ Night – Martunis. $10. 7 pm. (4 Valencia St.) Enjoy a celebration of womanhood with proceeds benefitting the Tenderloin Tessie holiday dinners. 415-241-0205.

• 11 : MONDAY

LGBT Sangha – SF LGBT Center. Free. 5:30 pm to 6:30 pm.

(1800 Market St.) All are welcome to join for a mindful meditation and spiritual practice. www.sfcenter.org Alice Happy Hour – The Mix SF. Free. 6 pm. (4086 18th St.) A social mixer with drink specials and free pool. www.sfmixbar.com Opulence – Beaux. Free. 9 pm.

(2344 Market St.) A hip-hop night with happy hour drink specials all night long. www.beauxsf.com

Holloway St.) A support group to discuss issues among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered caregivers of people with Alzheimer’s. www.sfsu.edu Pride Skate: LGBT Roller Disco – Church 8. $10. 7 pm to 10 pm. (554 Fillmore St.) An LGBT roller skating disco happening every Tuesday. 415-752-1967 Stephen Hough – SF Jazz Center. $40-$70. 7:30 pm. (205 Franklin St.) Renowned pianist Stephen Hough creates magic with a uniquely inquisitive personality, limitless interpretive nuances and exceptional technical facility. One night only! www.sfjazz.org

ALL MAY LONG: Enter to Win 2 tickets to the California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park! It’s a perfect way to kick off the summer.

FROG HOLLOW FARM: Grown in Brentwood, they have the best organic stonefruit around such as peaches, apricots, plums, nectarines, and more!

FAR WEST FUNGI: Great tasting button, shiitake, lion’s mane, maiitake, oyster, reishi, and many more types of mushrooms!

EAST & WEST GOURMET FOOD: Delicious spinach, pumpkin, and potato bolani. Make sure to choose from a huge variety of dips like garlic mint, lentil curry, basil pesto, and cilantro pesto to eat with the bolani!

pcfma.com/castro

1.800.949.FARM

fb.com/castrofarmersmarket

DESIGN : LOGOMAN : logomantotherescue.com

• 8 : F RIDAY

This Month at The Market!

• 13 : WEDNESDAY Dance Your Way Into the Day – City Nights. $21. 6:30 am.

(715 Harrison St.) Dare to challenge your typical morning routine by waking and shaking at an early, upbeat dance party. www.sfclubs.com

Wednesday Matinee – Openhouse. Free. 2 pm. (225 30th St.) Enjoy an evening of LGBTthemed films every 2nd Wednesday. www.openhouse-sf.org Castro Farmers’ Market – Noe St. Free. 4 pm to 8 pm. (Noe St. at Market) Enjoy fresh produce and local made foods and delicacies. www.pcfma.com

• 12 : TUESDAY

GLBT Caregiver – SFSU Campus. Free. 1:30 pm. (1600

A program of The Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation

Resource Guide to over 250 SF LGBT nonprofits, arts and athletic groups and their events BAY T IM ES APR IL 30, 2015

25

ROSTOW (continued from page 13) ing? Something has to happen. This has to stop, and yet we seem powerless as a society to find a way forward.

Martin, Brown, Tamir Rice in the park in Cleveland, the guy killed while selling cigarettes in New York, the man shot in the back while running away, the guy who was killed by the 73-year-old volunteer sheriff, Freddie Gray—how do you sever a man’s spinal cord during an arrest?

And why do people persist in noting that so-and-so might have been up to something, stealing or trespassing?

Since when do police gun down people for possible links to petty crimes?

Tamir Rice was playing with a realistic toy gun. So what? He was twelve years old and an officer shot him dead within three seconds of arriving at the park. Since when do senior citizens who can’t tell the difference between

a Taser and a gun get to run around playing policeman like little boys?

MOON (continued from page 12) of negotiating their differences. But this idea wasn’t validated by the research. It turned out that what kept successful relationships healthy was not how the couple handled disagreements, but how they were with each other when they weren’t fighting.

I know 90 percent of cops are doing good work and would never harm a citizen unnecessarily. But why do we allow these other maniacs to stay in uniform? There should be stringent regulations to make sure that vigilan- What helps a troubled relationship is te cops and violent officers are taken not so much focusing on resolving the off the force at the first sign of an unTING (continued from page 8) stable personality. The blue wall must come down and decent police officers Despite California’s status as the should take the lead in dismantling it. most linguistically diverse state in the nation, state law only requires that Okay. I’m thinking my general mood pharmacists offer oral interpretive today (depressed) may have had a role services to their non-English speakin my view of the High Court argu- ing patients. My legislation offers a ments. Maybe they weren’t that bad. sensible solution. More importantly, it ends the separate but equal system Maybe we’ll get a great opinion out of codified in current pharmacy pracJustice Kennedy. Who knows. tices. That makes passage of AB 1073 a matter of civil rights. arostow@aol.com

conflicts (in successful relationships, both parties recognize that some conflicts and differences are never resolved), but to work deliberately on nurturing their mutual fondness and admiration for each other through specific techniques. The cure for cancerous contempt is not to examine “causes” of the contempt, but to turn

to the honor and respect that the couple once felt for each other, and to work at building on that.

As Obamacare brings affordable health insurance to more Californians, we must ensure that it leads to healthcare access. That requires effective communication between patients and medical professionals.

fornia to have an equal standard of patient care regardless of language ability.

By ensuring that patients understand how to take their medications, we can save lives and improve healthcare for millions of people. It’s time for Cali-

Next in this series: Healing a Wounded Relationship Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. To learn more, please visit his website at tommoon.net

For further information, please visit my website at www.assembly.ca.gov/ ting Phil Ting represents the 19th Assembly District, which includes the Westside of San Francisco.

KRAMER (continued from page 22) shame often in the book. How do you feel you have been able to transform your shame into pride?

Maria Bello: Let’s go back to the old adage that the truth will set you free.

Everyone is not gong to like you.

Including perhaps, your own mother and father. But if you get to your true essence, you can change the people around us, and change policy. The opposite of shame is pride, and by owning the labels that empower us and getting rid of the labels that disempower us, we create pride. The only thing I can say to folks is, “To be your own self.” Everything positive comes from that. The basis is love. Whatever… love is love. I wanted to belong to a club based in love.

Gary M. Kramer: You look for signs throughout the book. Why do you place such emphasis on fate, or is it faith?

Maria Bello: That’s not something I learned from growing up Catholic. I learned it from my mother, who taught us about signs. Angels were looking out for us. If you look for signs they will be there. Turn superstition into super. I talk about being “enough” in the book.

I realize my only soul mate and partner is myself—and God, whomever you call God—even if you don’t believe in God. The universe is so much bigger than we are.

Gary M. Kramer: You write about Haiti as your mistress.

What is it about that country that appeals to you?

Maria Bello: As soon as my foot hit the ground in Haiti, I knew this was my place. I belonged there in some way.

And Haiti knew I belonged to her. And the friends I met before the quake— whoever and whatever we were—we experienced something together that

no one will understand. We saw a lot of pain, seeing friends suffer, and we had joy. We went back to meet my friends’ niece. So there is a life force in Haiti that is like no other I know. I would encourage people to go and see the beauty of the island. Most people think of it as poverty and ghettos, (but) there is celebration in the streets; every day (there is) music, dancing, colors and art.

Maria Bello will be reading from “Whatever…

Love Is Love” on May 8 at the Jewish Community Center of San Francisco. https://www.jccsf.org/arts-ideas/lectures/ history-current-affairs/maria-bello/ © 2015 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

SISTER DANA (continued from page 22)

Wednesdays: what’s for dinner? $10 DINNER

SPECIAL MENU Michael & Wendy invite you to come for dinner at Sweet Inspiration $10 special price does not include drinks and dessert.

Sweet Inspiration Bakery Cafe

2239 Market Street, San Francisco 415/621-8664 sweetinspirationbakery.com 26

BAY TIMES APRIL 3 0 , 2 0 1 5

429 and THE SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL presented 54: THE DIRECTOR’S CUT screening at the Castro Theatre. The cut of the film released in theaters in 1998 removed more than 45 minutes of beautifully acted, Cabaret-like licentiousness in the form of amibisexual polyamory and rampant drug use at the Studio 54 nightclub, and replaced it with 40 minutes of cloying romance in a compromise to make the film more mainstream. With the original footage restored, the film has become a coarse masterpiece, a classic of bored excess and existential longing, tons of Quaaludes & coke, and the pulsing beat and recreated performances of disco music’s pinnacle. Ryan Phillippe is Shane, an ambitious Jersey boy whom Club 54 co-founder Steve Rubell (played by Mike Myers) admits to 54, beginning his transformation from busboy to bartender, from ingénue to bisexual hustler, and from beer drinker to drug dealer, temporarily casting aside friends Greg (Breckin Meyer) the fellow bartender and wife Anita (Salma Hayek) the coat check girl in the process. As a special treat, Breckin, Ryan, and the writer/director Mark Christopher appeared on stage.

Christopher said he fought hard to get the original footage restored, adding some lost video footage and a new voiceover. He noted the loveable elderly druggie Disco Dottie (Ellen Dow) was 101 years old that night. Breckin confessed that his first ever onscreen kiss was with Ryan - and though both were straight, they had no problem.

They have been good friends ever since the first film version was cast.

Ryan said this was “the right version,” and that this way the viewer feels “inside the club instead of outside the ropes” with the sanitized story.

THE OPENHOUSE SPRING FLING 2015 honored Dr. Sandra R. Hernandez, who received the Adelman-Gurevitch Founder’s Award, presented by Dr. Marcy Adelman; and Ambassador James C. Hormel & Michael Nguyen, who received the Openhouse Trailblazer’s Award, presented by Senator Mark Leno. The Eva Lily Volunteer Service Award was established in 2014 to recognize the invaluable contributions of volunteers to the Openhouse community. The award is a way to thank and honor volunteers who demonstrate exceptional commitment and passion in serving queer seniors and advancing the mission of Openhouse. This year’s recipients were Ruth Herring, Bruce Thompson, and Patty Woods, who received awards from Openhouse Director of Programs Michelle Alcedo. President Bill Scherer noted that over 1,000 seniors had been served last year. He screened a video showing the multitude of senior-positive events offered by Openhouse. Executive Director Seth Kilbourn asked everyone to don their pink construction hats, supplied at the tables, reminding us of the affordable LGBT housing being constructed at 55 Laguna. He pointed out that over the next decade, more than 30,000 LGBTQ people in San Francisco would be of an age to ask how Openhouse might welcome them.

Sister Dana sez, “Kudos to Olympic Gold Medalist Bruce Jenner for publicly talking about being a transgender woman. I heartily applaud her courage to be genuine and live her life authentically - out loud and proud!”

CUMMING UP! NCLR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION is Saturday, May 2nd, Dinner at 5:30 pm at Marriott Marquis, 55 4th Street; Party from 9pm to midnight at City View at

Metreon, 135 4th Street. nclrights.org MARRIAGE EQUALITY USA (MEUSA) is presenting SAN FRANCISCO GARDEN PARTY + AWARDS to highlight the contributions of community, corporate, and political leaders who have contributed to moving the issue of marriage equality forward. The event is a celebratory afternoon of cocktails, light food, entertainment and a silent auction at Chambers Eat + Drink, 601 Eddy Street on May 3rd, 1-4pm. MEUSA is honoring Senator Mark Leno, the San Francisco Giants, and Bay Area Lawyers for Individual Freedom (BALIF). (347) 913-6369, marriageequality.org PEACHES CHRIST PRODUCTIONS proudly presents DROP DEAD GORGEOUS with the World Premiere Pre-Show Parody Spectacular, DEATH DROP GORGEOUS starring Bendela-creme, Suppositori Spelling, Jinkx Monsoon, Pandora Boxx & Peaches Christ at The Castro Theatre, May 9th at 3pm & 8pm. When the wickedly hilarious beauty pageant mockumentary Drop Dead Gorgeous was first released in 1999, it should’ve been a slam-dunk. It had the accents of Fargo, the format of Waiting for Guffman, and a hot ‘90s cast.

However, it was a flop. But we in-theknow know it became a cult classic. Drop Dead Gorgeous has been notoriously outof-print both physically and digitally for many years; but now you can see it, as well as the usual Peaches perfection that Mz Christ puts on all her delicious live parodies. peacheschrist.com Sister Dana sez, “As Bay Times goes to press, the U.S. Supreme Court has already started to review the case of a lifetime regarding the nationwide Constitutional legality of samesex marriage. Let’s really hope they come out on the right side of civil rights history!”

Round About - All Over Town

Photos by RINK

Artist Vincent Escareno at his first public art opening, with Magnet’s Steve Gibson

Randy Arnold of Barefoot Wines was celebrated for his 25 years of working with LGBT and other non-profit groups. The celebration was held at Chow restaurant. Arnold (second from right) was congratulated by (left to right) Bebe Sweetbriar, Donna Sachet and Gary Virginia.

Magnet community organizer Jorge Vieto and Jared Hemming, Bridgemen coordinator, at the exhibit opening for artist Vincent Escareno at Magnet

API Wellness Center’s Tita Aida (right) with a friend at the Transgender Day of Visibility event

Members enjoying the Golden Gate Flyers Club’s party at the Sausage Factory

The 20th Anniversary of the Golden Gate Flyers Club was celebrated at the Sausage Factory. Anna Damiani of Senator Mark Leno’s office presented a proclamation received by (left to right) membership chair Ralph Higgs, president Stan Cooper, Jim Gabbert, former president Mary Rose and Larry Summers.

SF Bay Times columnist and Alice Club co-chair Zoe Dunning (left), Supervisor Julie Christensen and Alice Club co-chair Brian Leubitz at the Alice B Toklas LGBT Democratic Club meeting held at the SF LGBT Center

Kyle McMillen with his husband Gil Padia (AOF Board Chair) and their dog Wilson at Minna Gallery SF Department of Public Health’s Garza Peru and NNenna Ozobia staffed the Bridge HIV table at the Spring LGBT Career Fair held at the SF LGBT Center on April 15.

Gina and Fresh at the Transgender Day of Visibility held at the SF LGBT Community Center

SFPD officer and local celebrity auctioneer Lenny Broberg on stage at the Academy of Friends Wine and Art Benefit Auction at Minna Gallery

Positive Resource Center’s Rene Soto and Sinaya Eureka Cafe co-owner Bill Singleton, Cotlong discussed job opportunities at the Spring a friendly purveyor of ice cream, LGBT Career Fair. coffee, tea and pastries, welcomes all to the 451 Castro Street location.

Husbands Howard Edelman and Juan Callejas Edelman greeted guests at the Academy of Friends (AOF) Wine and Art Benefit Auction at Minna Gallery on April 24.

Sarah Campbell, chair of the Gay/Straight Alliance at her high school in Alameda, stands next to photos in the exhibit entitled Pride & Prom Portraits of LGBTQ Teens in Our New World at the James Hormel Center of the San Francisco Main Public Library. Through July 9.

Wells Fargo’s Robert Posadas, Landon Bruno and Mashimira Hogbach greeted guests and discussed job opportunities at the Spring LGBT Career Fair.

Will Walker spoke with SF Police Department officers Tina To and Diane Khuu at the Spring LGBT Career Fair.

A 60th birthday celebration in the Haight neighborhood for activist Jerry (The Faery) Berbier (second from left) was enjoyed by (left to right) Terrie Frye, host David Smith, Chuck Bierwirth and John Daniel.

Authors attending the Lambda Literary Awards Finalists Reading, held at the SF Main Public Library on April 21, included authors Katie Gilmartin, Susie Hara, Abdi Nazemian, Dan Lopez, Chaz Brenchley and Jim Provenzano.

BAY T IM ES APR IL 30, 2015

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Saturday, May 9

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/janemarielynch.com