3 minute read
The “F” in Education
By Dr. Victor Wong
Parents in Kluang take education very seriously. Growing up in a Chinese family especially, I’ve learnt that through education, parents want to give their children a future with 3 Fs –Fortune, Fame and Filial Piety. When we talk about fortune, we don’t mean making them billionaires since we know that money isn’t everything in life. We just want to give our children an opportunity we never had so that they can make a decent living in life. When we talk about fame, we don’t mean becoming megastars in the news or social media. We just hope that through education, they will become people of standing within the community. Of course, the ultimate wish of any parent is that their children will learn to honour, respect and provide for their parents in the golden years of their lives – that is filial piety. There is another “F” which parents have to admit is important to them in the practice of parenthood – and that is Face. By that, I mean gaining the respect from our community whenever they see the success of our children. I believe that there is nothing wrong or selfish with that. In fact, I would even go as far as to say that as parents, you deserve to be honoured because of the years of providing for your children. They become your respected face in the society. That is why we want to give the best education to our children. We are prepared to work two jobs, sell our house, empty our bank accounts and for some, even borrow from the “Ah Longs” to ensure that the best education is given to our children. With all that being said, there is yet another “F” in education that we must not forget. And personally, I think this is the most important of them all because, if you get this right, the other “F’s” will take care of themselves. This “F” refers to “Fatherhood” – a critical part of education that is often overlooked. We pay a lot of money for our children’s education and we expect the teachers to do their magic. The more we pay, the higher the expectation. However, I believe the most crucial role in education lies with the father. What do I mean by that? Here, I’ve listed four roles that, in my opinion, only a father can play in order to ensure true wisdom is imparted to his children. These roles cannot be outsourced to the school. These four roles are:
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● Disciplinarian – the way a father disciplines or doesn’t discipline his children will determine how his children set moral boundaries for themselves.
● Playmate – the way a father enjoys time with his children will create the dynamics of fun and enjoyment for his kids.
● Educator – the way a father imparts life lessons of his own life will add deeper wisdom that will be etched in the hearts of his children.
● Caregiver – the way a father provides for his family will give a template of how his children will care for their own families when they become parents one day. As you live out these 4 roles well, remember that it is okay to fail. After all, the “father” in education is also the education of the father. This is a lifelong curriculum – and fathers will become better.
教育之中的 「 F」
俗话说，再穷不能穷教育，⽽ 居銮的⽗⺟也⾮常重视教育。 ⽣⻓在传统华⼈家庭⾥，我深 刻地体会到，⽗⺟希望通过教 育给予孩⼦⼀个3Fs的未来， 即财富(Fortune)，声誉 (Fame)，和孝顺(Filial Piety)。对于财富 (Fornute)，我们并不是要让 他们成为亿万富翁，我们知道 ⾦钱不是⽣活的⼀切，但是我 们想让我们的孩⼦获得更好的 机会，过得⽐我们现在更好。 对于声誉 (Fame)，我们也不 是要他们成为明星或者⺴红。 我们只希望透过教育，让他们 成为对社区有贡献的⼈。当 然，⽆可否认的，⽗⺟的最终 愿望是能养⼉防⽼，希望孩⼦ 们能尊敬⽗⺟，在⽗⺟年迈之 时照顾他们 –这就是所谓的百 善孝为先(Filial Piety)。 为⼈⽗⺟，必须承认我们也看 重另外⼀个“F”，那就是颜⾯ (Face)。当孩⼦成功之际，⽗ ⺟也将获得这个社会的尊重。 对此，没有所谓的对与错，我 们也不能说是⾃私的⾏为。实 际上，为⼈⽗⺟，养育孩⼦多 年，当他们成为这社会上备受 尊敬的⾯孔，这是您们值得且 应该获得的殊荣。我相信⽆论 是什么种族，都这么想，⽽对 于华⼈族群尤甚。这也解释了 为什么我们⾝为⽗⺟要给孩⼦ 们最好的教育。⽗⺟们有的愿 意做两份⼯作，有的卖掉居住 的房⼦，清空银⾏户⼝，甚⾄ 四处举债，以确保为⼈⽗⺟的 我们，能为孩⼦们提供最好的 教育。
综合上述，教育中还有⼀个我 们绝不能忽略的 “F”。就我个 ⼈⽽⾔，这是⾄关重要的，因 为如果您在这点做对了的话， 其他的 “F” 也会随之⽽来。我 所指的 “F” 就是⽗权 (Fatherhood)，这也是教育 中经常被忽略的关键部分。我 们把很多钱花在了孩⼦的教育 上，希望⽼师们能化腐朽为神 奇。当然，我们花的钱越多， ⾃然的对于⽼师们的期望就越 ⾼。但不能忽略的是，⽗亲在 教育中扮演着举⾜轻重的⾓ ⾊。在此，我举例四个只有⽗ 亲才能扮演的⾓⾊，以确保孩 ⼦们能获得真正的智慧，⽽这 些⾓⾊是学校教育所代替不了 的。 这四个⾓⾊包括了： ● 纪律领导 –⽗亲对孩⼦的 纪律与管教将决定孩⼦的 道德价值观和界限。 ● 玩伴 –⽗亲与孩⼦⼀起享 受的欢乐时光将为孩⼦带 来⽆限乐趣和活动⼒。 ● 教育者 –通过分享⽗亲的 ⼈⽣经历，将增加孩⼦的 智慧，⽽这些教诲将深深 地烙印在孩⼦的⼼中。 ● 守护者 –⽗亲成为家庭楷 模，以⾝作则，给予⽰范 如何在孩⼦成为⽗⺟之际 照顾家⼈。 在你努⼒扮演好这四个⾓⾊的 时候，记得，失败没什么⼤不 了的。毕竟，教育中所需要的 “⽗亲” ，同时也是对⽗亲的⼀ 种教育。这是⼀⻔终⾝课程 ，从⽽让⽗亲会在过程中体 会，变得更好。
