The Flaw in UQ’s Architecture / p. 5
World going to end probably / p. 17
Kings Residents In Revolt / p. 4
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Edition 3, 2019. Since 1932. Free.
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Acknowledgement of Country Semper acknowledges the Turrbal and Jagera peoples as the traditional owners of the land on which this newspaper is created. We pay our respects to elders past and present.
Editor’s Note Contents
Our Team
What a wild few weeks it’s been! Since our last edition, we’ve held a debate about the Ramsay Centre (in case you missed it, pro-Ramsay managed to win), we dropped an investigation online about King’s College (which we’ve updated on page 4), and on top of that, it seems as though Indian Feast’s troubles have multiplied (after a piece of steel wool was found in one of their samosas, they denied that they even cook food on campus). In among all of that, it was kind of a shock to notice that we hadn’t gone to print in over a month. And look, despite our talents driving a few campaigns that took an other-than-print form, it’s always important to get the written word in front of readers, and to let you have some illustrations, a poster, and some sudokus. So that’s what this is. The reports section is a bit dated, but I think the two stupol hacks that read it won’t mind. I’ve always considered that ‘fortnightly’ is more of a guideline anyway. - Rowan
Editor in Chief Rowan Evans
News 3 Respect 6 Women’s 7 Tear-out Poster 8 Puzzles 10 Regulars 11 Union Pages 12 Comedy 14
I am the UQ Poet In my books you can trust If you love indigenous culture This book is a must Title: Indigenous Australia Author: Mark Riordan Available: amazon.com.au Please search title and author
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Editors Raphael Wixted, Ruby Green, Rebecca Kilpatrick, Tim Gardner, Nilsson Jones, Thomas Wiltshire, Isabella Scattini, Tiarni Miller Art Ruby Green (cover), Rebecca Kilpatrick, Google Images -> Tools -> Usage rights -> Labeled for reuse Printer Print on Demand, UQ St Lucia Publisher Semper is published by the UQ Union President, Georgia Millroy, but she respects our editorial independence. With Thanks Amy Sienkiewicz-Grob, Drew Pavlou and all the boys down at Runcorn 4113 Disclaimer The views expressed in this publication are the personal opinions of the authors. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the editor or the views of UQU. All articles are to be considered opinionative in nature. All articles remain the intellectual property of the authors.
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Letters to the Editor On BDSM XANDER HAYWARD - Former Semper Editor I have really enjoyed the Random Acts of Respect column. I write in response to a comment in that column from the previous edition in which a gentleman stood up to a man grabbing his partner by the throat in public. In that piece, the gentleman opined that “For all I know, that was probably a normal thing, like that was kinky for them.” I would like to make it clear that this is not normal or acceptable behaviour for a couple who engages in kink. When a couple engages in BDSM or any other kink, they do it as a consensual agreement between the two of them. If people want to participate in kink in front of an audience, they must seek the consent of that audience before doing so. It seems clear to me that, because this event took place in a crowded bar on a Sunday afternoon, and given that the author was unsure of what was going on, that the couple did not seek the consent of their audience, and therefore this should not be considered a healthy, kinky sex act. While I can’t say that violence is the way to go, I can say that intervening in some way was almost certainly the correct thing to do.
Competition Winner Congratulations to Jocelyn Wong for winning our colouring in competition with this amazing rendition of Peter Høj! You can collect your $5 UQ Union Voucher from the UQ Union reception desk!
On The University of Queensland Logo Your Union Secretary, Ethan Van Roo Douglas took a break from policing the law library this week to start a shitfight with UQ’s Office of Marketing and Communications over why they’d removed the University’s Latin motto, ‘Scientia ac Labore’ from university stationery. Dear OMC, I have noticed of late a conspicuous absence of the university’s motto, ‘Scienta ac Labore’ in the version of the University’s crest as part of the brand strategy which came into effect as of October 2018. I am writing on behalf of the UQ Union to express our concerns regarding what appears to be a disturbing trend from withing the Administration of erasing the University’s history, culture and traditions. Unfortunately I have not been able to access any publicly-available information concerning the scope of the this branding strategy, and the extent to which the Latin motto will be further removed from UQ’s branding. I am currently in the process of writing an article for Semper Floreat regarding the apparent replacement of the University’s 107 year-old motto with the ‘Create Change’ slogan. Could you please clarify for me the reasons for the changes, how far they will go, and how long they will last? Kind regards, Ethan
Hi Ethan, The Coat of Arms with the motto is still the University’s official logo and is used for all formal, ceremonial and legal communication. The Create Change tagline was introduced in 2015 for marketing and branding purposes and is not a replacement for the Universities’ principles and core beliefs. Mid last year we commenced a program of work to deliver a consistent look for the brand across the University. To help inform this work, we held a number of information sessions and focus groups during 2018 with current and future students (domestic and international), alumni/donors, staff, partners and international agents. The views and inputs from these sessions informed the creative execution and versatility of the UQ brand identity, which included a simplified version of the logo for use in formats where the official logo is not clearly legible, for example digital and mobile channels or smaller sized applications. I hope this helps to clarify and allay any concerns. Kind Regards, OMC.
Editor’s note: Thanks for trying, Ethan. You’ll get those nasty marketing professionals eventually!
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Kings Boys Angry NILSSON JONES College Relations Editor Residents at King’s College at the University of Queensland have created a website condemning the college administration’s sudden decision to open the college to women in 2020. In March, King’s College Council voted to make the college co-residential without official notice to the staff or students after more than a century as a male-only institution. The new website, called King’s Traditions, says that it was made “to honour and preserve the traditions of King’s College”, and publicises that the King’s College Student Club (KCSC) condemns the decision of the College Council. “The KCSC does not agree with the manner at which the decision was made by the King’s College Council. In particularly the KCSC condemns their efforts to ensure their stakeholders, which includes the KCSC, were not informed the decision had been finalised,” the website reads. The website also hosts a copy of a resignation letter from Emeritus Professor Trevor Heath, who has been a counsellor at King’s College for 20 years. In the letter, Professor Heath says that he was informed that the decision was made after the Council meeting, without any idea that the issue was up for consideration. “On a personal level I feel distressed, disillusioned and disappointed that, despite giving 20 years of committed service to the College, and to having wide relevant background, I was not trusted to be consulted, or even advised on this matter. I was only advised, together with the most recently-arrived cleaners and kitchen staff, after the decision had been made,” Professor Heath wrote. In a facebook post, the King’s College administration has described the move as one that will “better reflect contemporary Australian life”. In a document prepared by KCSC members and given to Semper, current residents take offence with the suggestion that the college isn’t suited to contemporary Australia. “Management is supposedly of the view that we are ‘incapable of excelling in the modern world’ for having lived amongst blokes. What a slap in the face,” one King’s resident told Semper. “It’s not like we were surprised it was all male when we came here, it’s the very reason why we came here. “St Leo’s just won the lottery,” he said. The most damning opinion in the document is attributed to a resident’s father. “In my view, for the Master to endorse a signed letter from the King’s Council implying my son, and every past kingsmen, is incapable of excelling in the modern world due to having gone to an all-male college says more about their own ineptitude than my boy,” the father said. “Plus, you can’t just shatter a century-old masculine culture and overnight make it suitable for 17 year old girls,” the student said. “There’s half a dozen colleges, all with empty rooms, that offer a co-res culture and they have the benefit of being cheaper and decades of experience in making co-res work and, presumably, administrations which show less contempt towards their stakeholders” he said. And the King’s community aren’t the only people concerned about culture. Nina Funnell, an anti sexual assault advocate
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and founder of End Rape on Campus Australia, told Semper that historically women have been invited into previously all-male colleges to have a ‘civilising’ effect on college men. “It is unethical to task girls and women with labour which is not only draining on their own resources, but worse, which can put them directly in harm’s way both physically and emotionally,” she said. Ms Funnell said a holistic approach is necessary to shift the culture within King’s. “The college leadership must be committed to reform, a clear theory of change and gender analysis must underpin the process, and, accountability measures must be put in place from the beginning”. Nina highlighted the work done by a headmaster at Melbourne University’s Trinity College, who commissioned a number of artworks - specifically portraits of women, by women - as well as overhauling the food menu at the college. “While these changes may sound merely cosmetic, it is precisely this kind of attention to detail which can set the tone for cultural change. “The good news is that because colleges have a full student turn-over every three years, it is possible to achieve significant cultural change in under 5 years,” she said. Semper has seen no plan from the King’s administration to make those changes in the past five years, let alone a plan to take place over the next ten months. And closer to home, the UQ Union’s Women’s officer, Amy Sienkiewicz-Grob was also sceptical of this sudden move by King’s. “I commend any organisation or institution that endeavours to progress and keep in line with society’s developing expectations of gender equity and diversity. However, this decision is clearly a financial quick-fix masquerading as an opportunity for women to ‘experience’ UQ’s premier residential college,” Ms Sienkiewicz-Grob said. “The reality is that this decision leaves any woman who chooses to reside at Kings vulnerable to a culture that is steeped in the halls of the institution” she said. When we asked the Master of King’s College what steps the college had taken to prepare for women, his answer focused mainly on the brick and mortar of the college rather than the people inside. “Co-residency has been an active consideration in King’s College strategic and master planning since 2003 when it was originally endorsed by Council. For the past 16 years, all new buildings and refurbishments have been completed with a broad view of King’s College’s future residents.” And while we’re sure that every new wing has female toilets, Mr Eddy gave us no information about the major cultural shifts necessary to make the social environment, not the buildings themselves, suitable for female residents. He did, however, say that the King’s Traditions website “does not align with the vast majority of feedback we have received from stakeholders of King’s College regarding the issue of co-residency, nor the face-to-face meetings we have had with representatives of the Kings College Students’ Club.” The key take-away is this. Whether or not the buildings are fitted right, women are being asked to walk into a culture that they have no reason to believe is right for them. The only way to address this is to undergo serious culture change. Whether or not Mr Eddy’s face-to-face interactions with the boys align with what appears on King’s Traditions, the mere existence of the website indicates that there is a long way to go.
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A Missing Point of View ROWAN EVANS Editor-in-Chief
Have you ever considered how little of the Forgan Smith Building you actually see compared to what a standard UQ ad might have promised you? I mean, seriously, picture in your mind’s eye what a front-on look at the Forgan Smith Building looks like from the non-Great Court side of the building. Or better yet, go and google “University of Queensland” and have a look at some of those pictures. If you think critically about it, you’d realise that you’d have to be standing on the lawns to really take it in, and who ever goes that far out of their way to look at a sandstone tower, no matter how monolithic. But that seems to me like a fundamental problem with UQ’s architecture. By rights, every student should get a good look at a building as beautiful as Forgan Smith at some point in their day. And the Great Court side isn’t much better! If you really want to capture the full prestige of the building, you have to walk so far back that the roof of the walkway around the court blocks your view. And even then, the curious decision to only put lampposts on one side of the walkway across the Great Court creates an asymmetrical mess that spoils what should be the crowning glory of architectural viewpoints on campus. The architecture is really on my mind at the moment because I spent my Easter weekend at the University of New South Wales. And look, this might sound crazy, but stay with me: despite not having a block of sandstone on the campus, I think that UNSW has far far better architecture than UQ. How can this be? The answer lies in UNSW’s campus being designed around one Main Walkway. From the moment you step off a bus, you are looking at two perfectly symmetrical
sides of a wide, straight red path, at the end of which is a similarly symmetrical staircase, which ascends to a majestic theatre. Both sides of the path also have these poles, which you don’t realise are lamp posts until night falls. The effect of this is that the entire scene just seems to converge onto one point on the horizon, and the impressive theatre takes up that point. Just compare the simplicity of one grand straight path to whatever the fuck that weird elbow-path is outside Merlo. But I think the key insight here is that 100% of UNSW students coming in off a bus get to see that view. Who gets to see our equivalent view of Forgan Smith? Maybe ten people at a time who have the money to so much as think about parking out front of the building? Even if you park down near the sports fields, you firstly can’t actually see the Forgan Smith because the lawns are littered with trees, and secondly, all the walkways available to you do their darnedest to divert you from any decent viewing point of the Forgan Smith. It’s tragic to think we live in a world where the average UQ student only sees the campus’s most beautiful building when they have an odd commute across campus. And even then, it’s only a side-on view. You have to really want to stop and smell the roses to see Forgan Smith in all its majesty. Several factors cause this problem, but one of the biggest is that buses feed passengers in from the East and West sides of campus, while the Forgan Smith faces North. It seems clear to me that we would have had a nicer campus if the Chancellor’s Place bus stop were instead built down where the rugby field and athletics track is now. If that were the case, then instead of trees scattered across the lawns, just one architect might have thought to build a grand, symmetrical walkway leading up to the Forgan Smith. So if you catch me building a time machine any time soon, just know it has something to do with getting the word back to the designers of this campus to build a better bus stop. And don’t worry, I’ll also mention to them not to put so many roads through the inner ring of campus. Pictured: The Forgan Smith Building
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Random Acts of Respect As told to AK Bradley So much of the conversation around sexual assault and harassment is about self-control or the victim-blamey advice on defending yourself. But it seems to us here at Semper that what’s so often misisng is the advice on how to intervene when you see it happening before your very eyes. So that’s what this column is for. We want to ask regular people how they’ve stepped in when they see something going on. We hope that these accounts of everyday heroes will embolden readers when a critical moment arises.
MACARENA A friend of mine was telling me this the other day. This was off campus, at an engineering company. My friend was asked to talk about women in her work environment at an International Women’s Day event, and she agreed to be part of a discussion during a breakfast. But the day before, some big person from her company was coming to present the people that were actually at that panel. Just the night before they were all getting together, and these guys made a joke. Something like, “Well, I look forward to the coffee you’re going to make for me tomorrow.” On the 7th of March, and that guy was precisely there because he was going to introduce the women that were going to be part of the discussion of Woman’s Day. So my friend, she packs her things, stood up, and left. She felt like she should have said something, but I said to her, “Look, the fact that you stood up and left said maybe a lot more than what you could have said.” Also English isn’t our first language, so what you get mad, it kind of passes what you wanna say in your own language. But she made her point, she packed her things, and she stood up and she left. And he was a person in a position of power sitting right by her. She didn’t just do it because he was in a position of power, but people around who witnessed that and felt uncomfortable. And her boss, her more direct boss, actually stood up for what had happened. Even if she didn’t ask for it, she never asked for it, she was just like “I’m not gonna take this bullshit and not really answer or anything. I’m just going to leave.” Well the guy actually apologised. Most probably because he was forced to. Most probably, very deep inside, he actually thought that was just a joke, and also my friend never escalated things. She turned up the next day, she went to her women’s day breakfast, and she talked her points. She didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable about it, but she made her point the night before. And she was like “I should’ve said something.” And I’m like, “I’m sorry, but I’ve sat through uncomfortable things and never actually got the courage to pack my things and stand up and leave.” There was a lot of courage in what she did. Well I wish- (you see), I’ve been in situations like that, and I wish I had at least stood up and leave. So, I mean definitely, if you cannot come with anything- it’s hard to think about what you would say. Maybe you just don’t need to say anything. In Spanish we have this saying like “you’re not going to do dignify this comment with an answer. ” It’s like you’re just, you know, there’s nothing better to not appreciate something than actually just disregard it to begin with. Because then you can be caught up in these he said whatever, she said whatever, just- no no no. You just don’t even regard it, pack your things, and you leave.
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KIERA LEE (pictured) So it was schoolies last year. I came home with my best friend to the hotel we were staying at, and a girl was being followed home by some guys. She was alone. And not so much followed as they said that they would walk her home. And we have a big glass door in front of our hotel, and once you get into the foyer there’s another door so you can’t get through. My family owns the hotel, so I was waiting at the front, and we saw her walking at the same time we were walking back. When she got there, the boys kept insisting on getting into her room, getting into her room, making sure she was getting into her room. And we tried to like tell them to go away, and they wouldn’t go away. I ended up calling my nan who owns the place, and she came down and helped and we got the boys to go away. But we helped that one person, but later on that night, those two boys actually went and raped another girl in another hotel that we found out about which is quite scary. But, it was, it was a lot knowing that we helped that girl in that point of time, but it was really sad to know that they went on, and they did it to someone else. It was quite, yeah, crazy waking up the next morning and seeing it on the news. So we had police officers come and like ask us about it because we have surveillance footage and they wanted to find out about who the guys were because it was done around the same street, like it was a stretch of people, and, yeah. But that was… Yeah it was nice to know we helped her, but also scary to know that like it resulted in- it still happened to someone. Do whatever you can to stand up for people, because it’s like, just think of yourself in that situation, like you’d want someone to help you. So yeah, just think on the idea of treat people the way you want to be treated.
You can help create a positive culture of sexual conduct. Research shows that students are more likely to tell other students rather than uni administration about an incident of sexual violence, and that the attitudes they experience on first disclosure have a huge impact on how well they recover. If anyone ever discloses to you. Try to remember the following phrases: 1. “I’m sorry this happened to you” because what they hear is “I believe you” 2. “What happened is not your fault” because what they hear is “you are not to blame” 3. “I’m going to do what I can to help you with this” because what they hear is “you are no longer alone in this”
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The Intersection of Womanhood and Student Politicans A. WOMAN An analogy: you are a duck gliding through a vast pond. You are waterproof. The water brushes past your feathers, you do not carry it with you. You appear tranquil and at peace. Beneath the water is a different story: you seem to be perpetually kicking against the currents, you can sense that the eels are lurking, and who knows what will happen if you stop pushing forward. Some days this is what it feels like to be a woman in politics.
1. Relatability and authenticity - what’s the problem
When women in politics look towards their leaders, they struggle to relate. There is something within the human psyche that urges us to want to relate, and to feel like we need to relate in order to feel a part of our world. While we can relate on values, policy and the party, there is more to it than just that. Some modern representations of men don’t sit well with me, for one reason: authenticity. When women look at an ultra-stereotypical photo of six white men, we can walk through any Brisbane street and know that is far from authentic. We know they may be educated on issues that disproportionately affect women. Men can legislate against domestic violence, for child care entitlements, abortion, family law, closing the pay gap and superannuation gap (something that deserves its own article), and even ways to get more women into the business world. Will this legislation be the most appropriate, nuanced and with a sufficient level of complexity? I think women are the most informed on these matters, and there’s something that experience teaches you that your religious text, reasoning or collected narratives will never be able to known. That’s not to say that men should be barred from having opinions on such issues. But the opinions of women are perhaps closer to the truth, in the broader scope of things.
2. Nature of politics - this problem is everyone’s responsibility
Politics has a lot of nonsense. It can be messy, degrading and rampant with personal attacks. There will always be people who disagree with you, and want to score cheap political points. I think it will only get worse with the rise of social media, and the fact news cannot be
easily forgotten by the internet. I don’t want to stereotype, but I’ve found there is some merit to the idea that women are more emotionally attuned. Hence why they are most affected by the game that is politics. Women become invested in being people pleasers, and are doomed to fail because there will always be people (even on your side) that will never be pleased. Nearly every women I know in politics has be subject to sexual harassment within her party. Labor, Liberal and the Greens. Shifty characters will ebb and flow - and that’s beyond the control of the parties. My grandmother, mother and now myself have seen the shift that’s occurring. While the #metoo movement may or may not have been the best way forward for modern feminists, it certainly raised an important idea: our world lacks a callout culture. I don’t think men entirely understand the reality of formalising a sexual harassment complaint: if I was to complain to a political party about sexual harassment, I know it would come back to haunt me. Because the perpetrator’s friends are on the leadership team. And if they’re not, hot news travels fast in a sphere that is obsessed with gossip and appearances. I don’t want to sound dramatic, but this is the reality of it all: a women’s political life (and literal life) can be threatened as a result of simply wanting to hold a criminal accountable. Having adequate protections for women to defy such morally corrupt individuals should be compulsory: because this is the definition of equality - equal opportunity and equal protection. Indeed in most modern workplaces women are treated with respect, protected by adequate complaint processes, and are certainly more fairly represented. At the moment, shifty men are being protected by other men and unreliable sexual harassments policies. Even in feminism’s fourth wave women still lack agency.
3. The uncharted water that lies ahead
As I’ve said before, I’m a right-wing woman. I will always disagree with quotas - they are not the best way to achieve a more representative government. I support commonsense targets for women and other minorities, so long as this is representative to Australia’s voting population. It’s a good thing that preselection involves healthy competition. It feels oxymoronic to describe preselections as ‘healthy’, but they can be. The last thing voters want is politicians that have been placed in seats, but will probably lose interest in governing after a few months. If our leaders are serious about addressing the issue of a more gender representative parliament, there needs to be an urgent cultural change. It’s not a war of the genders. It’s a war of finding the most qualified, informed and appropriate candidates for the role. That’s what our political systems need, because it will ultimately mean that our governments are more effective and efficient.
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Cryptic Crossword Authored by White Bishop
ACROSS 1. Hi-fi tests produce ones of particular interests (9) 6. Small library requiring protective clothing and directions (5) 9. Type of water seen in cocaine hallucination (7) 10. It was me that left the chemistry class for this girl. (7) 11. A sound (5) 12. Musical cord and washing power used by chief steward of the house (5-4) 14. Sounds like me but looks better (3) 15. Urge ill ...err ... that would be this Spanish one’s intent. (11) 17. Reprocessed before you (11) 19. Wine humour (3) 20. Type of fan used by a dentist perhaps (9) 22. A game where you can make up the rules without amplification (5) 24. Reverse engineered polystyrene lets one find prime Stone Henge rock for example. (7)
Easier Clues
ACROSS 1. Individual with a particular sexual interest (9) 6. Holy Book (5) 9. Constituting or living in the open sea (7) 10. Person’s name. (7) 11. Sound heard after time directing an end to spring. (5) 12. Chief steward of the house (5-4) 14. Organ (3) 15Spanish militia. (11) 17. Forerunner (11) 19. Remove moisture (3) 20. Type of fan used to remove dust (9) 22. Name of a game where you can make up the rules (5) 24. Stone or wooden slab. (7) 26. In the meantime (7)
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26. In the mean time bury the Cockney lad (7) 27. The amount one has to give up. (5) 28. Oxygen a prime component of the weather (9) DOWN 1. How a loud uncouth lad might treat the law. (5) 2. Directions in time and time again, for a life time. (7) 3. Confess sin! Agog in this worship centre. (9) 4. Enter internet business - Phys Ed camp! Not good! (11) 5. Sound parasitic for a while. (3) 6. Tedious dentist and instrument. (5) 7. A worker’s proclamation that sounds like it’s made to suit you for example. (7) 8. Got too wise mole to find where “these” came from. (9) 13. In court, on court, for or against the caught. (4,7) 14. With specific intention state Elvis was here. (9) 16. Found in a set ten Grolier glasses. (9) 18. The best he tendered was to show great sensitivity. (7) 19. Journalist tossed by the sea, it is a fault. (7) 21. Change final difference. (5) 23. Animal that always arrived late. (5) 25. Yesterday’s girl. (3)
Bring a completed copy of this crossword to the UQU Reception, and enter the draw to win a $5 UQU voucher!
The same crossword made simpler.
27. The amount given by a field (5) 28. Of or being the essential or basic part (9) DOWN 1. Treat with contemptuous disregard. (5) 2. Being of the age 13 through 19. (7) 3. Worship centre. (9) 4. Legally not qualified or sufficient. (11) 5. A short time. (3) 6. Drilling instrument. (5) 7. Custom made (clothing). (7) 8. History of words. (9) 13. Duty to sit in court. (4,7) 14. With specific intentions (9) 16. Opera glasses. (9) 18. To show great sensitivity. (7)
19. A fault. (7) 21. Change. (5) 23. Animal. (5) 25. Day before. (3)
Previous Solution: ACROSS 1 five-volume. 6 A VET. 9 similitude. 10 frog. 12 quasi amateur. 15 nucleolus. 17 furze. 18 enema. 19 upholster. 20 hysterectomy. 24 Igbo. 25 velocipede. 26 stem. 27 abridgment. DOWN 1 fuss. 2 vamp. 3 vulture raven. 4 liths. 5 madrassah. 7 vertebrate. 8 tiger heart. 11 half-climbing. 13 antechoirs. 14 accessible. 16 louse herb. 21 tholi. 22 peke. 23 kept.
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Sudoku Easy
Hard
Campus Book Fair This Weekend! Sponsored message The Alumni Friends of the University of Queensland is having a pre-loved book sale this weekend, May 3rd to May 6th in the UQ Centre. Alumni Friends is one of the few alumni organisations on this campus not actually affiliated with the University, and you can tell because they use the original logo (see page 3 of this edition for more details). This Book Fair is a lot like the Lifeline one, but instead of happening twice a year, this one takes place once every two years. And the proceeds go to researchers instead of Lifeline. So come on down and support a local community
group this weekend. You can buy pre-loved books, magazines, sheet music, DVDs, CDs, vinyl records, and even the occasional photographs, ephemera and prints. And, hey, if you have a bit of cash to splash, why not attend their rare book auction at 6pm on Friday? Head over to UQ’s Fryer Library to partake in the fun. Even if you don’t win anything, there’ll be heaps of rich people to talk to, and that’s fun in and of itself! Whatever your flavour, there’s something in it for you!
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President’s Report Georgia Millroy - FOCUS This month UQ Union has been focused on our governance and wider strategic planning for 2019. As part of this, we are planning the launch of our new website, updating our financial management systems and preparing a SHOC rebrand for Semester 2. Earlier in April, we had visitors from Loughborough University (in England) to UQU. Loughborough is rated #1 for student satisfaction out of all universities in the UK, and UQU has had a great connection with them since they first visited last year. Many of our new initiatives in 2019 (our volunteering program, the Academic Advocacy Network and the restructured student executive) are based on Loughborough’s operating model. It was amazing to speak to their student executive and plan ways for UQU to improve - their insight is invaluable. As well as working on our broader governance strategy, the Union has been organising heaps on campus this month. We’re always focused on making sure we deliver something for everyone - from our annual Cultural Fiesta, Sip & Paint happening on Thursday, and a Learn to DJ workshop in a fortnight. Later this semester, we’ll also be hosting a Ramadan celebration in conjunction with our Muslim student clubs. As well as our fantastic events, in May UQU will be opening our new eco-friendly outlet in the redeveloped Physiol complex. We’ve also passed important changes to UQU’s Regulations. First, we changed the regs so that UQU can begin paying our International Officers. As international students make up
approximately 33% of the UQ student body, the Union feels it is highly important to remunerate the Officers who put in so much work to represent this demographic. We also amended the regulations to allow former Secretaries and Treasurers of clubs to nominate for Clubs and Societies Committee - previously, only former Presidents were eligible to nominate. This small change will allow for a wider group of students to become involved in the Committee, which we need as our clubs continue to grow. There’s always something happening at UQU! My door is always open and I would love to hear more about what you want from UQU.
Opposition Leader’s Report Maddie Cunnington - Momentum At the last UQ Union Council meeting, the budget for the year was put forward. We saw a noticeable drop in funding for some of the collectives, particularly the Environment Collective. Moreover, UQU’s Abilities Collective, which is led by two very competent Momentum officers, saw a noticeable increase in funding. Focus’ Gender and Sexuality VP, Amy, justified this by saying that their officers were inexperienced and didn’t necessarily understand how to create a budget for a group as large and complex as one of the Collectives. We want to emphasise that it’s the responsibility of the major parties who choose to run in the student elections - whether that be Momentum, Focus, Student Action - to choose representatives who are competent and experienced enough to perform their roles adequately. We have absolute confidence in every single one of our Officers within the UQ Union, and hope that Focus can say the same! Additionally, several of these officers did not attend Council, and did not submit reports. We believe that officers of the Union need to be available to answer questions, and they need to accurately report on their activities - students deserve nothing less. There was also a forum to discuss UQ’s proposal to accept funding from the Ramsay Centre in week 4, where Zainab, an amazing activist from Momentum, spoke alongside the UQ Union President, several other students, and members of staff. In the wake of the Christchurch terror attack, Zainab raised some excellent points, particularly regarding the need for any historical or sociological course to criticise Western civilisation and examine other perspectives, and the fact that the same representatives who now make up the Ramsay Centre were responsible for original cuts to arts funding.
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This was followed by a protest and occupation of the UQ Chancellory this past Monday. We think one of the most important points arising from this campaign is that, as students and staff at UQ, we hold the power to create change - which means that if you do not want to see racist lobby groups like the Ramsay Centre gain a stronghold at UQ, you should take action where you can. That means attending protests and being part of the campaign against the Ramsay Centre - it only takes an hour or two from your week at most, and every voice at a protest or audience member at a forum makes the issue more visible and harder for the university administration to ignore. But it also means having hard conversations about race, and calling out racist commentary (even where it’s framed as a joke) whether that’s with coworkers, friends or family. An institution like the Ramsay Centre didn’t gain power and influence from a vacuum. It’s the result of an insidious culture of racism within this country - a culture that we need to stamp out wherever we see it. That responsibility to call out racism when we see it, and to create a culture at UQ that is safe and welcoming to all students - regardless of race, culture or religion - is a responsibility that is especially incumbent upon our student representatives. The UQ Union is the peak student body, and wields a great deal of power and influence on our behalf. That’s why we should continue calling upon our Union, and the Union president, to pressure the university administration to drop their deal with the Ramsay Centre. Every student at UQ should feel safe and welcome on campus, regardless of race, culture or religion, and that can’t happen unless we ensure that racist institutions like the Ramsay Centre are not accepted here.
SEMPER
Cross Bench Reports Priya De - Student Action
Protest works! In week 6, about 90 students and staff came out to protest UQ’s deal with the Ramsay Centre. Because UQ has not offered any student consultation, we occupied the Chancellery until Aidan Byrne, the Acting Vice-Chancellor (Høj, mysteriously, was a no-show) addressed us. Aidan started by saying we should thank Western Civilisation for our freedom to protest - which is funny, considering back in the 1970’s UQ students had to protest for the right to protest after Joh Bjelke-Peterson banned street protests. In a thirty minute Q&A with students, he denied that the Ramsay Centre’s politics had anything to do with racism and couldn’t quite answer what good Western Civilisation has done in Iraq.
It seems UQ’s top heads are more racist than we thought! I figured they just wanted Ramsay’s money, but it seems they actually have a stake in the culture wars. This means we have to keep the pressure up. The next protest is at 5pm, April 15 at the Chancellery, before a meeting of the University Senate. We should make it clear again that Ramsay and their racist lies aren’t welcome on campus.
On budget night, we secured a victory for women and people from lower socio-economic backgrounds on campus by instigating a renewed look at selling cigarettes in the UQ Union’s Lolly Shop. When the durry ban was put in place on July 1 last year, the UQ Union agreed with the University administration to stop selling cigarettes from the Lolly Shop. Little did we know that the Campus Newsagency would not agree to the same terms. Now the newsagency is able to extort prices far higher than what one pays at Woolies and Coles, and what one might pay if there were a competitor to be found on this
campus the size of a suburb. Uni students aren’t wealthy. They shouldn’t be ripped off like this. My party will end this rort.
Kurt Tucker - Smokers’ Rights
Campbell ‘Tinker’ Ray - Team Rocket We asked Tinker to give us a recap of the budget meeting of Council and he reminded us that he wasn’t there, and he in fact proxied to Gloria Woods. He then asked us to clarify that the reason he wasn’t there is he was doing drugs and watching anime. He didn’t specify which drugs or anime, but we assume that both were entirely legal.
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COMEDY
Speculator
St Lucia
UQ’s other news source since 1933
Peter Høj on Ongoing Investigation Into Meaning of ‘Cheesy AF’ PETER HØJ, AC - Vice-Chancellor and President of UQ A few weeks ago, I was dining in the Main Refectory, when I happened upon an advertisement for the UQ Union’s new Jaffle Time. Now, I’m usually one to keep up with popular trends, but in this instance I found I hadn’t the foggiest idea of what the phrase “Cheesy AF” could possibly be referring to in this context. My first strategy for discovering the meaning of ‘AF’ was to ‘Google’ it (which I have recently become very adept at doing, by the way). However, the phrase Cheesy Atrial Fibrillation doesn’t seem to be the kind of feature that one might advertise. Not to say that a copious amount of cheese wouldn’t cause heart arrythmia, mind you, I just don’t think a vendor would make it known to their customer. My next approach was to call UQ Union President Georgia Millroy into my office. Not only does she actually run this cheese shop, she is also very up to date on the trends of people in the 18-25 age bracket. However, when I asked her explain the meaning of “Cheesy AF”, she avoided eye contact with me and said that “it means Cheesy And Fresh”, but her voice rose up into a squeak at the end of the sentence, giving me doubts. My investigation will continue.
Vice-Chancellor and President, Professor Peter Høj, AC (MSc, PhD, Hon.DUniv Copenhagen, Hon.DUniv S.Aust., FNAI, FTSE)
Final Year Student Who Feels They Wasted Uni Life Excited To Now Waste Rest Of Life As Well A brief flash of panic in the mind of a final year student was relieved this morning when she realised that graduation will offer a brand new opportunity to go to work, come home, and wait to go back to work every day for the rest of her life. Rebecca Thompson, a UQ student, realised just hours ago that she had wasted her entire university career by not getting involved in any extracurriculars or activities of any merit whatsoever. “I realised that I had spent every hour of every day either commuting to uni, sitting in classes at uni, or earning enough money to subsist while at uni,” Ms Thompson said. “And a feeling that I can only describe as sheer terror descended upon me when I realised that I might have to dramatically change that lifestyle once I leave campus. “But after some consideration, I’m confident now that I can go on with a fruitless life and ultimately die alone and unloved,” she said.
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COMEDY
Epic! Obiter Boys Finally Going To Do A Piece On Which UQ School Is Which Game of Thrones House! Excitement is fluttering through the T.C. Beirne School of Law at the University of Queensland today as rumours spread that the cheeky duo of Bretz and Dwyer are about to release a definitive guide to which UQ School is which Game of Thrones house. “I would say we’re both pretty obsessed with Game of Thrones,” Mr Dwyer told The Speculator. “When Henry originally came up with the idea, we just couldn’t help but giggle for an hour, and we just kept coming up with more and more hilarious jokes. “Like, for instance, lawyers are totally the only ones who can pay their debts,” Mr Dwyer said. “That’s a cheeky reference to House Lannister, if you didn’t know, because their motto is that ‘A Lannister always pays his debts’,” Mr Bretz interjected Obiter editors Joe Dwyer (L) and Henry Bretz (R) act to explain. “Yeah, and it’s also about how lawyers out their favourite scene from Game of Thrones ahead of make a lot of money, and House Lannister ground-breaking article release. in Game of Thrones is the most richest one,” Mr Dwyer continued. can’t wait to see the looks on their dumb vet student But it wasn’t all fun and games for the duo, who faces when they read it,” he said. admit there were tough times in the process. The boys explained that the final touch on the arti“Yeah, it was pretty hard trying to pick which cle will be one to watch out for. school was going to be The Night’s Watch, because “Haha, and, oh my god, I can hardly breathe, the it could just as easily have been Economics or Engi- best bit is when we say, hahaha, oh, Dwyer you tell neering,” Mr Bretz said between fits of laughter. them,” Bretz said. “Haha, yeah, the joke is that the Night’s Watch “Yeah, the best part, hahaha, is that, oh my god, are all men and they never have sex,” Mr Dwyer ex- this is too good. Haha, okay, so we were a bit cheeky plained to The Speculator. with this one, but we went with a joke about our “And it just wouldn’t be The Obiter if we didn’t poke archnemeses over at QUT, haha, this is amazing,” Mr fun at that kind of low-hanging fruit,” Mr Bretz add- Dwyer said. ed. “So the QUT students are... wait for it... they are “We ended up saying it should be Engineering, and the Night King and the army of the dead, haha! I think people are really going to rofl at this one when “Because it is a classic joke that we all hate QUT they read it, because everyone knows an engineer and we want to unite together to keep them from inwho can’t get a root haha,” he continued. vading our campus. “One that I’m really proud of is about the Vet Sci“I think people will be in stitches over this one!” ence students out at Gatton, who we named the Mr Dwyer said. Wildlings, because they’re so far away from us,” Mr The long-awaited edition of The Obiter will be reDwyer said. leased on Friday, and will also feature a ground-break“I think we really owned them with that one, and I ing ranked list of the best toilets on campus.
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