Kiwi 30th Birthday Bumper Issue

Lent 2012

30th birthday bumper issue

Lent 2012

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Your JCR Committee

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The Ripening of Kiwi

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How Kwik Time Flies (ft. Robert Newman)

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Selwyn Freshers 1982: where are they now?

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Kiwi Science

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Editor: Natalie Gil Design: Adam Gray* Sports editor: Ben Quarry

SELWINVESTIGATION: Breaking the Bank

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The State of the Union

This issue: (The wonderful) Illustrators: Esther Kezia Harding (estherkeziaharding.com) Claudia Stocker (claudiastocker.com) Olivia Vane (camgraphik.com/oliviavane)

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Realease your inner introvert

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Cambridge: Dreams to reality

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Contributors (in order): John Finnerty Anna Main Lewis Bartlett Hannah Wilkinson Isabelle Bush Gavin Reynolds Ben Quarry

Shell, what’s wrong with Chanel?

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Baking Blue (chocolate.)

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Dr Kiwi and Auntie Agnes

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Blue is the Colour

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Minority (sports) Report

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Natalie would live to give a special thanks to Sarah Harmer, Dr David Smith, and archivist Elizabeth Stratton for their help and knowledge.

And to Robert Newman and Selwyn’s 1982 year group for their wisdom, that Kiwi is unfortunately too short to be able to publish. Maybe I’ll fill up a book with it one day. *not the pink box on page 19

Formalopoly 2

Lent 2012

Editor’s letter

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ello and welcome to a unique (bumper) issue of Kiwi. It’s been given some TLC and we’ve got two special occasions to celebrate: Easter and a landmark birthday. These definitely warrant the extra paper.

Aren’t birthdays great? The one time of year when all attention is bestowed on you, and 2012 marks a very special one for Kiwi: its thirtieth. But thirty is the new twenty according to Grazia, Elle, et al. – so Kiwi’s still a young’un. Not a grey hair or wrinkle in sight. Nevertheless it is still the longest-running college magazine in Cambridge and of this we should be proud. Hence, in this issue I have taken the liberty of delving into its past. Turn to pages 5-6 to find out how it used to be made and what it looked like in the technological Dark Ages three decades ago.

You’re also in for another illuminating treat. Ever wonder what you’ll be doing and with whom you’ll still be in touch in three decades time? I contacted some alumni who matriculated in 1982, Kiwi’s birth year, and asked them how their Selwyn experience affected the course of their lives. And the all-important questions: what was college life like ‘back in the day’? Is The Real World really as scary as it’s often implied to be?

And if Selwyn were a superhero, who would it be? All will be revealed on pages 8-10.

And we can’t neglect Easter. For most of us these days, including, it appears, the JCR committee (and definitely me), it means largely one thing. Chocolate. More than anything else it’s the common denominator of all birthday and Easter celebrations. Pages 19-20 provide some lipsmacking and innovative ways to consume the staple of the gods.

Speaking of God, on pages 14-15 we’ve got a heated debate between two Selwynites staunchly polarised on the issue of the Christian Union’s advertising around college. You can say what you like about this revamped issue, but you can’t say there’s not a little something for everyone.

After thirty years therefore, Kiwi is very much alive and kicking and who knows what the future may throw at it? Not every issue will be as profound and philosophical as this one, but if you fancy contributing to Kiwi next term get in contact at kiwi@sel.cam.ac.uk. If not, just sit back, relax and enjoy the fruits of my- and all contributors’- labour.

A lotta love for Laurie Aside from the doom and gloom of the price of formal going up by 20p to £9.50, Selwynites did receive some good news this term.

A fornight ago it was officially announced that Hugh Laurie is to become an honorary fellow of Selwyn.

The college says “an official installation will be later this year.” Multi-talented Hugh’s back in the UK for gigs in June and July so, while this is mere speculation, Kiwi thinks there’s a chance he might pop over.

Isabelle Bush puts oil rig fashion under scrutiny. See page 18 3

Your JCR Committee: Kiwi asks your representatives some crucial questions

Ashley Hall Access Officer Best thing about Easter?

Chocolate.

Apologies for weighing down my crew’s boat next term.

Caroline Mace Accommodation Best thing about Easter? Easter egg hunts where the average age is 4. Suckers.

Glen Pearse President New year’s resolution? To get to No.10 by the end of 2012. And get a six-pack.

Axel Landin Vice-President What did you give up for Lent? Supporting Labour. The Tories are where it’s at now!!!!

Tom Walsh Treasurer Favourite Easter egg? Hotel Chocolat You Crack Me Up. Don’t worry, I can wait until Easter.

Chris VaqueroStainer Computer Officer Best birthday? Last year I was joined by firemen who mistook the BBQ for a fire.

Rickesh Patel Education Officer Best birthday? 5th or 6th. I had a huge 3D Thomas the Tank Engine cake. Amazing.

Jade Baker Female Welfare What did you give up for Lent? Coke.

I drink A LOT. I’ve had cravings.

Saskia Goldman Male Welfare Favourite Easter egg? Buttons. 10x more satisfying that a chocolate bar. The reason?

Surface area.

(Some of whom are so committed to their jobs that even pinning them down to talk about chocolate was a Herculean task. Kiwi’s no grass, so we’ll give the initials ‘V-P’ instead.)

Lent 2012

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Lewis Bartlett LGBT Officer Best birthday? My 18th - an Alice in Wonderland Tea Party.

Emily Bedford Freshers’ Rep. New year’s resolution? Go to all my lectures. Broke it in the first week.

Joe Yarwood Ents.

Best thing about Easter? Eating my body weight in chocolate.

Twice.

Richard Cadman Freshers’ Rep. Best thing about Easter? It’s my birthday so I get chocolate AND presents.

Max Winchester Ents.

Best birthday?

My first, I can’t remember a thing—must have been hammered.

Peteris Erins International Officer Best birthday? When I was accepted to Cambridge while in Canada.

Robbie Carr Services Favourite Easter egg? Creme Egg. The filling tastes soooo good.

Alexandra Moore Best thing about Easter? Those mini fluffy chicks. Cutebut utterly pointless.

Bryher Bowness Green Officer New year’s resolution? Don’t eat Selwyn chips every day, harder than it sounds.

Andrew Sawbridge Charities New year’s resolution? Give up chocolate and curry to lower my cholesterol. Didn’t happen.

Andrew Robertson Comms.

Favourite Easter egg? Twirl. Great to dunk in hot chocolate!!

Mona Taebipour Gender Equalities What did you give up for Lent? Whoops, I forgot... Is it too late to start now?

Lent 2012

The Ripening of Kiwi Natalie Gil investigates how Cambridge’s longestrunning college magazine has kept up with the times

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irthdays tend to be a time for reflecting on life: What have I achieved since the last one? Am I any better looking than last year, or just fatter?

Why have I still not found the boyfriend or girlfriend with whom I’m supposed to have had 3 kids by the time I’m 30? For us, time is ticking. But after three decades, Kiwi’s still as sweet and fresh as when it first began: not a grey hair or wrinkle in sight.

However, like most of us, it has changed over the years. It’s gone from being the organisational hub of undergraduates’ social lives, to an unorthodox mix of “sex scandal” (with its own Page 3) and borderline communist propaganda, to a more satirical publication in recent years.

Dr David Smith, a current history fellow and DoS at Selwyn, knows more about Kiwi than most.

He matriculated in 1982, the year the magazine was founded, studied here until 1988, and has been a fellow ever since. As an historian, he is intrigued by what it has revealed about successive student bodies over the years. Sometimes, he says, it’s the ephemera, not official records, that give us the best social insight.

The production process: “When it was first founded in the eighties, Kiwi was produced with a manual typewriter. Text was literally cut and pasted together like a collage and then photocopied. There was something called the ‘Kiwi paste-up’, which involved finalising the typing, cutting it out, and pasting it down. This went on until the advent of word-processing at the end of the eighties, developed by Amstrad. In the early nineties students moved on to either Macs or PCs and it was this that most dramatically transformed Kiwi.

“People had always been keen to contribute but, as is common in Cambridge, found it challenging to work to deadlines around their academic work. The team was never cliquey and things don’t appear to have changed. Anyone could get involved and it has always had a community feel about it.”

Its original aim: “It was a student newspaper – run by and for students. At the time, pre-internet and pre-email, the only ways to publicise things were through posters and newspapers. The Freshers’ Week timetable, for example, used to be published in Kiwi.

“But it also contained student views – features and letters to the editor. In its early days it was published three times a term.”

Its social element: “It has always been a good reflection of the student community and mood over time – a good social barometer. One could write a social history of Selwyn through Kiwi, with its humour being particularly revealing of student attitudes. Although as you get older, I am now realising at nearly 50, you don’t always get the jokes.

“Another great thing about Kiwi is that there’s never been a template to it. Instead, it has responded to what students want. It was more opinionated in the past, reflecting how politicised the student body was.

“Its humour and satire have remained one of its strengths over the years. The sheer variety has also been extremely impressive – so much creativity and so many ideas have gone into it from busy people during term time.”

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Lent 2012

Kiwi’s functional first issue: 1982

Gettin’ rowdy in 1987

1992: Tongue in cheek?

Feeling Disney’s influence in 1997

Growing up: Promising “SEX” on the cover

Looking slick in 2006

What’s with all the communism?

2006: The year Kiwi took the world of graphic design by storm, courtesy of Photoshop.

When sifting through the Kiwi archives, it is clear that Selwyn was once much more left-wing than it is today. Dr Smith says this was most prominent in the late 1960s, the 1970s, and the early 1980s, but “it faded by the late ‘80s.” In the 1990s, post-fall of the Berlin wall, “such communist allusions were becoming more tongue 6 in cheek.”

Ann’s undergoes a revolutionary makeover

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Lent 2012

How Kwik Time Flies

Kiwi remains as fresh as ever, but how have our alumni fared over the past three decades? Natalie Gil caught up with some notable Selwynites of yore

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ime really does fly when you’re having fun.

This old adage encapsulates the sentiments of the alumni who answered some probing questions for Kiwi on its birthday. They’re drawn from an eclectic array of occupational fields: we heard from an MP, a journalist, a doctor, an internet retailer and even an alumnus who now works in alumni relations himself. They didn’t all follow straight career paths out of Cambridge and have led colourful lives. But one thing’s certain, they all began their careers in this very institution Selwyn has changed a lot over the last thirty years.

You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone in Cambridge with a mullet today, let alone in Selwyn.

But in most ways, the college has remained eerily similar. Respondents made countless allusions to its modesty and “community” feel. This highlights that, notwithstanding the swiftness of social and technological change in The Real World, things can remain somewhat constant. Cripps’s decor being the case in point. When the analogy was drawn between Selwyn and Clark Kent, something struck a chord. Not only are the bespectacled character’s thick-rimmed frames extremely in right now, particularly among Arts students on our neighbouring Sidgwick Site, his unassuming and modest façade belies the spectacular and accomplished results of his alter-ego.

Robert Newman (SE 1983)

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obert is a comedian, author, and political activist. He read English at Selwyn and graduated in 1986.

Whilst here he was part of a successful comedy duo with David Baddiel. After graduating, he went on to write the BBC sketch comedy ‘The Mary Whitehouse Experience’ with Baddiel, Hugh Dennis and Steve Punt, all of whom were also at Cambridge.

“What I enjoyed most about Selwyn were the college gardens, not living at home anymore, and getting involved in Student Community Action.

“If I have a piece of advice for Selwyn students it’s this: Selwyn is an oddly insular little place, almost a campus, given its location on the edge of town, except for this crucial fact: your proper campus university has several thousand other students,

not just a few hundred. That’s why, in terms of social life, you might feel that you aren’t meeting those soul mates and fellow spirits that you thought university was going to be all about. So I reckon – not that I did this myself - your best bet is to join as many different university and town societies as possible and try to get invited to other colleges’ JCR’s and to hang out with students of other colleges as much as possible.

“If I could re-live my time at Selwyn there are lots of things I would do differently. I’d gatecrash seminars and lectures that were nothing to do with my subject. All those free lectures going begging on geography or history or biology or law. I used to dismiss Arc & Anth as Geography for the Rich & Backward and I was right, but I’d still love to be able to listen to someone taking about early hominids or, say, Kroptokin’s theory of mutual aid as a factor in evolution.”

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Robert’s fourth novel is called ‘The Many and the Few.’

Selwyn Freshers 1982

Lent 2012

Where are they now?

Three decades ago they were bright-eyed and bushytailed teenagers. Kiwi sought to find out how much of an impact their time at Selwyn has had on their lives since William MacPherson: read Law, manages and builds training/ education companies

“I loved being thrown into an eclectic community of 300 people and emerging with some lifelong friends, editing Kiwi, getting involved in politics, playing netball and rowing (badly) for the college, and of course, the parties.”

Juliette Dwyer: read English, Assistant Editor of the World at One on Radio 4

“I loved Cambridge but was always worried I wasn’t taking advantage of all the exceptional things beyond my narrow world that were out there in the university... It’s too easy to spend your whole life at Cambridge in Selwyn alone.”

Nick Osborne: read Natural Sciences and Computer Sciences, Technical Director of Imatek Ltd.

Simon Offen: read History, works in alumni relations at Christ Church College, The Other Place Most enjoyed “the freedom to think, the sport, the people, being somewhere so beautiful with absolutely everything one could dream of having access to being available.”

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“The realisation that I wasn’t going to make pots of cash has progressed at about the same rate as the realisation that it really doesn’t matter very much.”

ises:

Singin Lent 2012g Selwyn’s pra

amazing capabilities - the a modest, unassuming air despite its ined nta mai yn Selw way the d like “I Olly Wicken Clark Kent of Cambridge colleges.” – l others were surprised. able college meant when we did wel “Being in what was then a less fashion y Rickell s were knockabout as a result.” – And ting mee n ope JCR and l tica poli te It was qui e great... though I have support of a close group of friends wer “The intellectual stimulation and the th nham as a factor there.” – David Too to include the close proximity to New “I made friends across all the years and it wasn’t too long before whisky and coffee were regularly consumed in my room (seemingly in equal measure) once the bar had closed.”

Stephen Speak: read Geography, exbanker and internet swimwear retailer

Olly Wicken: read Classics, works in advertising

“An extraordinarily high percentage of my closest friends, thirty years on, are people I met in my first week at Selwyn. That includes my wife.

“I would re-live my time at Selwyn in exactly the same way …. (Apart from a couple of hours at Addenbrookes A&E after a Hermes Club cocktail party.)”

Andy Rickell: read Engineering and Management Studies, CEO of The Vassall Centre Trust “Being able to put a double first from Selwyn on my CV got me interviews and opportunities that I would never otherwise have had.”

Graham Stuart: read Philosophy and then Law, Publisher and Member of Parliament for Beverly and Holderness Selwyn was great for “rowing, pinball, girlfriends and parties. And Diamond discos.”

David Tooth: read Medicine, Doctor

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“I benefited from the chance to try new things.

Even some-one as un-sporty as myself was able to have a go, because of the college system having space for everyone and those with ability always willing to encourage those without.”

Looking back

Lent 2012

What would you do differently?

Hopes for the future vs. the reality:

“I would balance my day better, work harder at the Histor y, and drink les s at night.” – Simon Offen

“To get a job that would interest me, pay decently, and help me achieve something in life. Thirty years later, my job in advertising still interests me and still pays me decently. I’m not too sure that I’ve achieved anything much, but I’m happy.” – Olly Wicken

“I’d do it all again - on ly this time I’d get mor e of the reading done, do less rowing and make a real effort to get out of co llege and take in the theatre , concerts and museum s.” – Stephen Speak

“At the end of my first year I started a publishing business...Couldn’t get enthusiastic for Law so decided to be an entrepreneur before going into politics. The business is still going and I’m now the MP for Beverley and Holderness and Chairman of the Education Select Committee.” – Graham Stuart “I was going to be the best chef in the world! Unfortunately I found the job boring and thus went back to University to do the PGCE. I went into teaching, then had my own food business, and now work in Alumni Relations!” - Simon Offen “I knew I wanted to be a doctor… I was one of the lucky ones, in that I found I did actually enjoy medicine once I had qualified”. – David Tooth “I’ve had 17 different jobs in 27 years… I would have liked to be an MP and/or a minister of religion, but that would have been at the expense of my marriage according to my wife - apparently!” – Andy Rickell

“I probably needed a few more deadlines in th ose days to get the essays done.” – Juliette Dw yer “I’d row more, and ha rder.”

– Graham Steward

Any advice for current students?

“Try something new at least every term. Don’t stay in your comfort zone. Don’t think too hard about your future too soon. Say yes to drugs. Occasionally.” - Nick Osborne “Chase your interests in preference to the money and then work needn’t be a chore. Remember that time is precious, and if you have an entrepreneurial streak, get started on it before the stakes get too high… Embrace change and remember that events can overtake a career plan in a heartbeat.

When I left Selwyn I never thought that one day I’d work for the Chinese government and certainly never thought I’d be giving swimwear advice to ladies over the telephone!” - Stephen Speak “It isn’t always the best three years, but taken as a whole, your years at college will probably be among the premier league of your life experiences, make the most of them. Other advice: don’t watch daytime telly.” - William MacPherson “Try to live up to your own expectations and don’t be too driven by others. And go rowing.” - Graham Stuart “As a classicist, my advice would be ‘carpe diem’. Less didactically, I’d suggest people listen to an insightful but rather melancholic song

by Fountains of Wayne called ‘Prom Theme’ and draw their own conclusions about how they’d like to look back on their time at Selwyn.”

– Olly Wicken “Experiment, do new things, work hard but remember to rest and play...and don’t spend money you don’t have!” - David Tooth10

Selwyn: “the Clark Kent of Cambridge colleges.”

Lent 2012

Kiwi Science

This magazine isn’t the only important Kiwi out there.

Lewis Barlett takes us on an ecological journey to discover conservation efforts in New Zealand

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ere at Kiwi, the plight of our namesake is a subject never far from our hearts. The ecology of New Zealand has been in a tragic mess since human footsteps first printed themselves across the forest floor. The world’s leading conservation ecologists appeal to the history of the islands as excellent examples of the sort of problems we should be managing if we want to preserve unique species.

In this first instalment of Kiwi Science, we’ll learn about some of the flagship species for New Zealand’s conservation efforts.

First, let us introduce some characters, so as to persuade you that they are indeed worth saving. Of particular note are the enigmatic Kakapo, a giant ground parrot well known for once attempting to mate with Stephen Fry’s cameraman during his ‘Last Chance to See’ series; the success-story Black Robin, which was brought back from the brink of extinction. The Kiwi, our namesake bird, holding the title of pushing out the largest eggs relative to its body size; and my personal favourite, the Tuatara: a lizard-like reptile which remains as the last representative of its whole Order, long lived and able to still get down and breed at the ripe old age of one-hundred and eleven. Apart from being adorable, all are of significant biological interest with stories to be told.

Let’s begin with the happy tale of the Black Robin, a friendly fluffball (scientific term) species that evolved away from the terrors of cats, rats and other sharptoothed bullies. When European exploration brought Polynesian Rats and other unsavoury guests to the Chatham Island archipelago east of the N.Z. mainland, the robin population plummeted and by the time a conservation effort came into effect in 1980, only five individuals remained worldwide. Amongst the five was a single female, known as ‘Old Blue’ who was taken in to care, alongside the four other males on Mangere Island, and persuaded to repopulate the species. Today, the living 250 individuals all descended from Old Blue have shown conservation biologists that, despite the theoretical problems of extreme inbreeding, species can be repopulated in a true Adam, Alan, Albert, Alex

and Eve style.

For the Kakapo and Tuatara however, things aren’t going so well. Both are locally extinct on the North and South Islands, with the Cook Strait and north coast island chains supporting the last populations.

Again it is the legion of Polynesian rats, feral cats and stoats introduced to control rabbit populations that have swept through and predated any eggs or young that might otherwise have been raised. Both of these species are fascinating for filling ecological roles typically associated with mammals and lizards respectively, and are also highly prized tourist attractions. Unique physiology, behaviour and lifestyle all make these species invaluable in the field of zoology.

The challenges of reintroduction in these cases rest on our ability to exterminate introduced species with adequate precision: it’s no use burning down the forest to kill the species that are a threat to it. If anyone has ideas as to how best exterminate rats from small islands without damaging other, cuter species, do write in! Excellent suggestions may be published in the next issue.

We’ll finish with the Kiwi: our most beloved bird.

Having seen its cousins, the Moa, hunted to extinction by the Maori peoples, and as a flightless bird having to cope with the introduced beasties that have claimed so many of its former neighbours, it’s surprising that the Kiwi is still going strong. Combining super-large eggs with caring humans, Kiwi chicks quickly reach a size where they can drop kick a rat straight in the jaw and swagger off unharmed. I think we can all agree that this tactic is definitely the key to conservation success.

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Lent 2012

SELWI NVEST IGATIO N

Breaking the bank

...Or not? Natalie Gil investigates the importance of alumni donations to life at Selwyn

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rucial in all our lives is how the college raises its money, but this is something most of us rarely contemplate or know much about. Just how rich is Selwyn? And where does the money come from?

Kiwi has decided to embark on a horizonwidening voyage, beyond the confines of its room and the library, in a bid to find out more about our beloved college.

We all know that Selwyn isn’t rubbing shoulders with Trinity or King’s at the top of the college rich list. Many of us have either heard the horror stories or experienced first hand the structural pitfalls and erratic heating of Cripps rooms, for example. Cripps ceilings have even

been known to collapse. It’s a miracle four of us in second year are still alive!

Some students took part in the fundraising telethon campaign at the end of last year, which went some way towards promoting the Development and Alumni Relations department’s cause. Kiwi, therefore, hopes to rectify the ignorance of students by asking Sarah Harmer, the college’s Development Director, about her job and the department’s responsibility.

Natalie: How does the college raise its money?

Sarah: There are two main ways that alumni make donations: firstly, during their lifetime, and secondly, through a legacy programme whereby 12

Lent 2012

donations are left in people’s wills. We currently have 120 legators, but not all of these have told us how much they’ll be leaving the college. Of those who have told us, the money adds up to almost four million.

As regards lifetime giving, most regular donors give on a monthly basis: small amounts set up via direct debit. Many of these were set up through the telethon campaign. This makes up the core of our donations. Ten pounds a month, for example, makes all the difference. We can better rely on these kind of donations than larger ones that may or may not be made. The economic slump has reduced the likelihood of the college receiving spontaneous large donations.

What is your role in the process?

Part of my job involves visiting prospective donors, normally in their home or place of work.

This tends to be in the UK, but I often to go abroad - recently I was in New York and Connecticut. The Master and I will soon be travelling to Hong Kong. I

money is going towards are teaching and student support.

The current endowment of the whole college is £30 million. Although that sounds like a lot of money, the college only gets to spend the interest on that capital and Selwyn’s endowment is far below the level of other colleges. My target for the next few years is to raise another £20 million, so the college endowment is £50 million. Currently, the endowment is insufficient to support the College— we do not have enough money for teaching and student support.

What does this mean?

It means we have to make tough choices and the Bursar is extremely careful with every penny.

We’re having to borrow money for the Cripps refurbishment because, although we’ve had a £7.5 million donation from the Cripps Foundation, it’ll be more expensive.

Aside from infrastructure, relative to other colleges Selwyn spends much less per student. With the new fees rise, Selwyn will need to be in a much stronger financial position. Bursaries will have to be increased, along with hardship funds.

So what are your aims for the foreseeable future?

The endowment campaign I mentioned is the main thing I’ll be working on, through personal visits, future telephone campaigns, emails and direct mail. I aim to increase the rate of donations from 15% of alumni to 25%. We know where approximately 6500 alumni live, so this would mean about 1600 of them donating. If each gave just £10 a month it would add up to £250,000 a year for the college, a huge amount over the medium term.

Are alumni from certain professions more likely to donate than others?

Surprisingly no, despite the common assumption that those in law or finance would be most likely to donate. Actually, some of our most regular donations come from those who don’t earn huge salaries, especially vicars, of which Selwyn has quite a lot.

The Development Office’s job is to strengthen the connection alumni feel to the college. They are still part of the Selwyn community and are always welcome back – at reunions or other events. Selwyn is always your college, even after you graduate, and this is the first principle of what we do. We put alumni relations ahead of fundraising.

“With the new fees rise, Selwyn will need to be in a much stronger finanical position” usually combine this kind of visit with events for all alumni in the area.

Selwyn’s rate of alumni who give donations is 15%, and prospective major donors are encouraged to hear that the college already has a supportive body of alumni.

Now the all-important question: what is the money spent on?

Almost every single aspect of college life. Over the past few years, the majority of the money has been spent on buildings and infrastructure. Chris Dobson’s donation enabled Ann’s Court to be built.

Such a donation is called “college fabric”. However, the majority of donations now are spent on teaching and student support: when John Spencer retires, for example, we’ll lose a law fellow, so we’ve been raising money for a CTO (college teaching officer) in law.

This year’s telephone campaign was for student support and we raised £200,000 for bursaries and hardship funds. So, the two main things this year’s 13

Lent 2012

The state of the Union

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Is the Christian Union really encouraging debate with all these posters? Asks John Finnerty

oasties are great—I’m not disputing this.

However, I have a problem. I don’t know what Selwyn’s Christian Union is doing.

One might think that as a liberal college, historically one of the first to admit women and the first to appoint a female head porter, the primary aim of the Selwyn Christian Union would be to encourage ontological debate. Perhaps this is what all these glossy posters are for, the ones that smother the college notice boards, replaced as swiftly as sloughed skin cells. Little did I know until recently that, historically, membership to Selwyn was initially restricted only to baptised Christians.

As I walk downstairs on a morning, I am greeted by the notice board strategically placed at the bottom of the stairwell. There are four posters on this board as I type. One advertises the services taking place at the Chapel, another advertises “lunchtime talks” on Fridays including talks such as “Is Atheism irrational?” and yet another advertises some more talks, one being entitled “Only Jesus offers security in relationships”.

The 4th poster is an advertisement for Zumba classes, which I gather is a form of energetic dancing where the participants shake their bums a lot.

I don’t need to point out the lack of variety in poster subject matter here, but it is what is on these posters that bothers me. Where is the debate? Why the dogma?

Have these been put here by the “forward-thinking”, toastie-making, sweetie-giving Christians we know and love? I am filled with unease when I see these posters on my way out. I cannot help but think they are more akin to a canvassing campaign; the talks more like political propaganda than invitations to debate. As I leave my student digs, I get the sense that a race is being run and I don’t know whether I should be running too.

“Only Jesus offers security in relationships” is a bold claim. I’m not sure I completely understand it either.

What I can say is that my grandparents are now over eighty years old and have known each other since the age of fifteen. They are not Christian. They do not have Jesus in their lives. Their relationship is stronger and more secure than any I’ve ever come across.

At a push, I suppose, these talks could be said to be raising awareness of Christianity for those interested in learning more. But, is that really the case? What has a talk (not a debate) supposedly answering the question “Is Atheism irrational?” got to do with Christianity? I can only assume, given the context, the answer to this loaded question was a resounding “YES”. The alternative would somewhat undermine the Christian belief system.

This isn’t informing the curious about Christianity; it’s an attempt to undermine another perspective on our existence, in the absence of a proponent of that view present to give the audience a balanced insight. Is it OK to advertise religion in this way? Surely the leaflets are a bit much? I’ve never seen any political party canvas this hard. Mitt Romney certainly isn’t delivering pizza to peoples doors to get their votes: surely that would be bribery? The response of “Sorry, but it’s for your own good” is not satisfactory and should be met with stern opposition. It is both arrogant and patronising to claim that you know the best way to live.

Thomas Jefferson wrote, “Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity.” Is ridicule what the Christian Union fear? I say unto the canvassing Christians: have some courage!

Do not resort to these underhand recruitment tactics.

Face the arguments against your position and atheists will face your arguments against theirs—the undecided can decide for themselves.

“It is both arrogant and patronising to claim that you know the best way to live”

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Lent 2012

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Yes, says Anna Main of the Christian Union

hat is Selwyn Christian Union doing? John suggests that the CU behaves in a manner that resembles an unscrupulous political campaign, characterised by intrusive advertising and irritating posters. Ultimately, the concern is that this is symptomatic of that fact that the CU is not interested in fair, informed debate but only wants to impose their incoherent beliefs on unsuspecting Selwynites. This article’s objection to the Cambridge Christian Union’s activities is a common and The offending noticeboard in John’s “student digs” in Ann’s Court repeatedly voiced objection which may well have some truth in it, and I am genuinely sorry Note that these claims are Jesus’ and not the if our manner has been offensive.

CU’s own message. The ‘Real Life’ talks focussed on But we are interested in serious debate. The Jesus’s claim that ‘I have come that they might have events advertised aimed to provide an opportunity to life, and have it to the full’ (John 10:10). He’s saying engage in a serious critique of Christianity. I suspect he’s the only one with power to give life – essentially that it is no coincidence that Selwyn is historically claiming to be God. He’s also implicitly saying that open-minded and was specifically founded as a without him we don’t really have life. It means that Christian college; Christians believe that the claims we simply can’t adapt our message or say ‘but, if you like atheism better, then that’s great too’.

With these kinds of issues at stake perhaps it is clearer why we publicise these things as we do. The claims of Jesus are pretty huge and we take them seriously, but they are also potentially transformative, giving real, exhilarating life. Frankly, it would be deeply unkind to feed you toasties and keep to ourselves the fact that we have found something extraordinary and absolutely essential to life. Because we care about you, we want you to know about it. And, again, I am sorry if our methods have been uncaring or insensitive!

We’re convinced that Jesus needs to be taken of Jesus Christ can stand up to scrutiny and we seriously and that our message stands up to scrutiny therefore welcome debate and rigorous thinking. and so we welcome debate. One of Jesus’ most well This is why our weekly Friday Lunchtime Talk has a thought-out followers, Paul, writes ‘If Christ has not time for questions from the floor at the end and why been raised, your faith is futile’ (1 Corinthians 15:17). we invited you to text in a question along with your The resurrection ultimately proves Jesus to be God, toastie order. so if you want to think about or dismiss Christianity However, in a culture where Christianity is begin here, with an investigation into the identity generally dismissed out-of-hand, it is necessary to lay of Jesus. We are trying to be honest, open to fair out what Christianity really is about so that debate critique and debate, but, in the end, no posters can be is suitably informed. Therefore, as well as trying to the test of this... so if you want to know what Selwyn engage with objections and questions relating to CU is doing or share John’s concerns, why not come Christianity, we want to present the claims of Jesus to one of the Friday Lunchtime Talks, ask questions, Christ and the evidence that backs them up. and judge for yourself?

“It would be deeply unkind to keep to ourselves the fact that we have found something extraordinary”

15

Release your inner introvert

Lent 2012

Don’t feel like going out? Then you shouldn’t feel ashamed, says Natalie Gil Supervisions, seminars, schmoozing, I could go on.

There are scarcely few occasions in Cambridge where we’re not expected to be hard-headed extroverts. We defend our opinions and assertions daily against the incessant onslaught of academic artillery, and we live and breathe sociability. Mindless small talk is second nature – sat next to an awkward stranger on a swap? Why not quiz them about their sex life and “fine” them accordingly? That’ll get the conversation flowing organically...

If such a situation might make you feel slightly uncomfortable, then I’m with you. You may ask, where does ‘introversion’ fit into all of this?

Introverts are all quiet, insecure, and wouldn’t be going out in the first place, surely? To this, my answer is a wholehearted ‘no.’ ‘Introversion’ shouldn’t automatically be equated with ‘shyness’.

To some, it means finding the constant socialising of Cambridge life - dare I say it – tiring.

There’s no shame in admitting the occasional craving to kick back, alone, in your room with a mint tea and some chocolate Hobnobs.

Introverts – especially those at Cambridge – should be cut some slack. The label is considered a dirty word in some circles. Can you imagine a thespian heading back from the ADC before the after show party to “kick back with a puzzle”? As Ross accidentally admitted he had a penchant for doing in Friends. Or a rugby Blue snubbing the inevitable alcohol and peerinduced nudity that constitutes a ‘banter’fuelled night out, to catch up with Sherlock

on iPlayer? It just wouldn’t happen.

What’s annoying is that, by virtue of their traits, extroverts get to define what is or isn’t socially acceptable. Letting go in Life (or Cindies if you’re that way inclined, I’m not) once in a while is a great way to let off steam. But a lot of the time I’d rather be catching up with neglected issues of The Economist than feigning affection for Duck Sauce’s ‘Barbra Streisand’. Again. Why should anyone be ashamed of wanting to relax and recoup in peace? Cambridge life warrants this privilege.

There are more such introverts around than they care to admit, too. A highly controlled and empirically infallible survey of the first three people I bumped into, found that, when faced with a choice between a night of predictable musical drivel, or misplacing their gauge of reality in a Danish political drama (mug of reassuring cocoa: compulsory) all would often prefer to opt for latter.

So why do we feel under such pressure to put ourselves out there, in sometimes uncomfortable situations? Of course we want to be considered ‘fun’, but it’s also driven by a desire – inherent in humanity – to ‘fit in’.

So my message to you is this: don’t be a sheep. Stay in with a puzzle, or knit a jumper in the style of Sarah Lund from ‘The Killing’ if you feel like it. If you’re as yet unfamiliar with her, don’t worry. Of an evening, as you plough through the abundance of highbrow DVD box sets that are currently all the rage, you’re likely to become good friends.

16

Lent 2012

Cambridge: Dreams to reality Hannah Wilkinson weighs up the reality of Cambridge against her teenage imaginings

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omewhere in the mind of my pretentious eighteen year-old self, I saw myself newly matriculated, gliding gracefully over the cobbles of King’s Parade on my retro bike, leather bound books in my wicker basket, essay done two days early. This would leave ample time for a leisurely punt down the river with a tight-knit circle of other tweed-wearing 20s throwbacks (of whom Cambridge would of course be full), followed by a lively discussion of Dickens, or maybe Thomas Hardy if we were feeling a bit dangerous, as the setting sun sparkled on the dappled water of the Cam. Needless to say, this dream was not realised.

This is undoubtedly a good thing. But I bet we all had some idea about what life was going to be like here. Even before the Fresher’s Guide landed on the doormat, we’d all heard a lot about life at the ‘Bridge. In hindsight, I sometimes wonder if the people who wrote the guides were actually at the same university as the one in which I currently languish. Well, no matter what your crazy dreams or misconceived preconceptions were, you’re now more than qualified to judge whether what we’re told matches the reality: “With so many clubs and societies, there really is something for everyone” Well, there’s something for everyone to sign up to at the Fresher’s Fair, certainly. No matter how you try to fight it, your name will end up on hundreds of mailing lists. Maybe it’s the vague hope that in taking up interpretive dance you will at last find your calling. Or maybe you signed up because: a) The stall was giving away sweets/pens/pizza b) The person manning the stall was particularly persuasive/fit/lonely and sad.

And once you find yourself persuaded that LARPing is definitely for you, it is your unavoidable destiny to spend the next two terms with a Hermes

inbox full of acronyms you don’t understand, and the bitter taste of missed opportunities in your mouth. Or that might be Sainsbury’s basics coffee…

“Cambridge Nightlife: whatever you want, we’ve got it!”

Really? I mean, ‘whatever you want’ like ‘I love you’ or ‘War on Terror’ are three little words with some big implications. If ‘whatever you want’ – and we are talking about the vast expanse of human desire here - is a sweaty gropey box with glass all over the floor and ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ reverberating through the air at 2am, after some delightful ‘authentic wholesome indian food’ - then Cambridge has got it covered. Oh, and don’t forget the TC outside the Trailer of Life, and a humiliating appearance on Cindies Stories the next day….

“The UL contains one of the greatest collections of books & manuscripts in the world” This is definitely true, but no matter how many great collections grace the illustrious shelves of the University Library, they can’t stop this from happening: 730:1.c.200.20….730:1.c.200.21…

730.1.c.200.22… 730.1.c.200.24... cue anguished cry...Followed by incessant grumbling: ‘Oh fine UL! Fine! I didn’t want to read the book anyway!’… ….And the desire to hunt down whoever had the gall to take what was quite obviously your book out and use it for their essay! The nerve….

“I’d rather be at Oxford than St. Johns” Well at least some things they tell us will always hold true.

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Lent 2012

Shell, what’s wrong with Chanel?

Could a career as a Chemical Engineer ever be compatible with Haute couture? Asks Isabelle Bush

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ith Halfway Hall having been and gone, I have started to really think about my future. I’m not talking about the coming week– the weekly horoscope satisfies that curiosity, but what lies ahead in the vast uncertainty that is the world of work.

I can’t pinpoint the time exactly, but Legally Blonde’s Elle Woods and Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw were the root of it all. Quite simply, I wanted their lifestyles. I assumed that when it came to working, I would have a high-powered office job in a cosmopolitan city: London, Paris or even New York?

Call it a fantasy, but since then I’ve imagined myself as a 20-something working girl in Louboutins or Manolo Blahniks. The sheer genius of pairing red-soled Louboutins, a Burberry trench and a timeless Hermès foulard to produce that classic look, genuinely excites me. This may sound ridiculous, but there is definitely something empowering and satisfying about being well dressed.

And every girl knows this.

But this is where my problem begins. With all this dreaming about pencil skirts and Jimmy Choos, I had never considered its compatibility with my field of interest. You see, like many other Chemical Engineering students, I am mysteriously drawn to the Oil Industry. I don’t expect you to understand this attraction, but it is definitely there. When I think of my future career, I picture myself working directly in the field. And by this, I mean on the rig.

The implications of this career choice have only

just hit me. How can I possibly maintain an exciting wardrobe on an oil rig?! I’ve done the research and seen the pictures and well, let’s face it… it’s downright depressing. Replace the trench with Gore-Tex overalls, exchange the Louboutins for steel-capped boots and voilà: the glamorous wardrobe of an engineer!

Rather than switching from engineering to land economy, which would have been the most natural course of action, I have decided to go about this the hard way. I am going to bring Haute couture to the oil rig.

At first, I thought Hunter wellies and a parka would do the trick. Unfortunately, the regulations on a rig, for reasons I can’t quite fathom, advise wearing protective footwear. It seems that wellies don’t count... But who knows?

Maybe a collaboration with Hunter could lead to a new line of steel-capped boots?

The worst thing of all is the lack of variety. As much as I love a good pair of Hunters, Monday to Friday is a bit much. However, I think I may have found the missing piece of the puzzle that has traumatised women in the Process Industries for decades. Whilst pondering this serious issue I found my calling: designing fashionable items suitable for the oil industry. It is certainly a niche market destined for success! On that note, if anyone is interested in buying shares, contact me at ib311@cam.ac.uk.

On second thoughts, thank god I’m on a four-year course. I may have been an imposter in Halfway Hall, but at least I have another two years to sort out my life.

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Lent 2012

Baking Blue Lewis Bartlett explores ways to cope in Cambridge. Involving cake

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t’s 3:14 and you’ve got a thousand words to go.

You’ve gone that awful colour of grey and your eyes are more red than white. What would help you face down this all too common problem? Cake.

A massive portion of cake.

Ultimate late-night saviour: cake in a mug Ingredients • 1 Cup of Self-Raising Flour • ½ Cup Caster Sugar • ½ Cup Oil (avoid Virgin Olive Oil) • 1 Egg • Flavouring! Chocolate: A tablespoon of cocoa powder, or 2 tablespoons of hot chocolate powder. Lemon: A hearty glug (precise measurement) of lemon juice; or a couple of shots of lemon/strawberry/vanilla/orange flavouring. Invest in a bottle of flavouring from the baking bit in Sainsbury’s. They’re under a quid and it only takes a quarter bottle for your cake to taste excellent!

Method 1. Take your biggest, tallest mug, the taller the better. Failing that try a pint glass.

2. Arm yourself with a fork. Break the egg yolk and stir everything until you have a thick cake batter.

3. This should take approx thirty seconds of vigorous whisking.

Note: make sure you dredge all the flour up from the bottom, or you’ll just be disappointed.

4. Whack it in the microwave for about 4 minutes. Ignore the fact it still looks uncooked on the top: stab through the middle with a knife and if it comes out clean it’s done.

5. Take it back to your essay crisis nest and curse your poor work ethic through mouthfuls of warm cake sponge.

Guilt brownies The Easter holidays are here. Half of us will feel terrible because we’re spending all day revising, while the other half will feel terrible because we’re not revising and probably should be.

Either way: you need a break to displace the work guilt. Brownies do just that. You can bake them for your family (and reward yourself with a couple for being such a champion student!) or you can make yourself sick by eating them all, and suddenly the guilt will be far more pressing than the guilt of not working. I’ll leave it to you to guess which path I’ll be taking. Let’s Begin!

1. Set your oven to 170˚C. *Protip!* Everything bakes at 170˚C 2. Pick out your mother’s favourite lasagne dish. Inevitably, this will be the best thing in your house for brownies, unless 19

Lent 2012

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

you bake enough to not need my advice.

Rub some margarine around the dish.

Now, to business: Melt together 100g of butter, 100g of milk chocolate and 100g of dark chocolate. Use a microwave, stir frequently. Set to cool.

Whisk together 4 eggs and 250g of caster sugar until your arm aches or you get bored!

Fold together the chocolate awesomeness with the egg goo until you get a fudgy batter.

Folding: This is a baking secret designed to make amateurs feel like idiots. If you care enough, go to wiki-how and search for folding (baking). Ignore YouTube, the Americans invented their own version of folding because they couldn’t cope.

Otherwise, just stir them together and hope.

Fold in some Irish Cream (about 100ml).

This will help you cope with your revision difficulties.

Sieve in 100g of plain flour, 75g of cocoa,

Kiwi’s Easter eggs of choice

and 1 teaspoon of baking powder. Fold in for the last time.

8. Pour this into your dish. Ideally there should be a half-inch gap between the top of the dish and your mixture.

9. Bake for about half an hour. Remove and set to cool inside the dish. Cut the brownies out of your dish and, depending on your tactic, set them out on a plate for your family or gorge yourself into blissful hyperglycaemia.

Available from Cambridge’s (two) finest chocolatiers

After extensive market research, these were statistically proven as the best products on offer:

(Easter) Egg & Chips - £12. ‘Served sunny-side up’. Parents overjoyed to see you? Take advantage of their happiness at Hotel Chocolat.

‘Charlie Chick and Buttons’ - £3.50.

Not quite a Kiwi, but Thorntons don’t sell those. He’s ‘almost too cute to eat’ apparently. I doubt it.

Sick of Easter but craving cocoa? Do a Heston and try something a bit quirky. ‘Penne Cocoa Pasta’ is £5 from Hotel Chocolat. Team it with Marmite (Nigella style) if you’re feeling wild.

20

Lent 2012

Doctor Kiwi D

ear Dr Kiwi, I’m tired, irritable and my urine is an odd shade of purple; what on earth is going on?

This was sent to me at 5 in the morning, so that’s the tiredness and the irritability explained right there. Get to bed. You should probably cut back on all the extra work you’re taking on as well: the 5 pages you sent me on the impact of post-modernism on the political situation in East Germany was very impressive, although slightly irrelevant to my diagnosis and even more so to your CompSci studies! Nothing that acts on your body in the same way as cocaine is ever a great idea, especially when it’s combined with 4 Pro-Plus and a bargainbin energy drink. Alternatively, you’re just a rower going out for an early morning outing, and who knows what the coaches put in the drinks bottles to get those erg times down? P.s.

Lay off the beetroot.

D

Dear Dr Kiwi, it seems like every time I’m in Cambridge I constantly have ‘flu, what can I do?

Well, fresher’s ‘flu, or Influenza neopopulum, is a constant threat to the daily life of the average Cambridge student. It can turn the usual hell of a 9 o’clock lecture into a towering inferno of phlegm, sneezes and headaches, with outbreaks of cough tennis. Of course, many theories as to why people in the bubble are so affected have been brought forward, but it’s probably just a combination of close college environments, NatScis with poor hygiene, and the inappropriate touching that’s pretty much guaranteed in the packed nightclubs. (Don’t forget Chlamydia tests people!) As for trying to recover from the affliction, the medical advice is bed rest and sleep. But this is Cambridge. You may as well be asking for a golden jet or a supermarket in town that isn’t overpriced. The best thing to do is to paint a cross in red paint on your door and wait for death (i.e. an unsympathetic supervisor) to take you.

Auntie Agnes

ear Auntie Agnes, I’ve been with my gorgeous girlfriend since Michaelmas. It’s her birthday next week and she’s told me not to get her anything but I really want to take our relationship to the next level. I’ve been saving up my student loan since before Christmas because I’ve heard diamonds are a girl’s best friend, do you know any good ring shops?

Now, now dear, don’t you think you’re rushing things just a tad! I know you might love this girl a lot, but as my ol’ Augustus used to say, good things come to those who wait and time really is on your side. I always find that the best presents on a budget

for a loved one is something sweet and from the heart, or, failing that, a bottle of vodka. Another option is to treat her to a nice relaxing spa day, though I know this can be quite expensive, so you might want to invest in some oils and candles to set the mood in the Cripps Retreat. I’ve heard people talking about a ladies personal massager, ideal for getting the cramps out of your neck and back and relaxing you into a satisfied slumber. But from the reviews I’ve read, people seem to be using it on the wrong parts!

LOL (I think that’s how you young people sign off with lots of love), (you know you love me.

Gossip Auntie)

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Lent 2012

Blue is the Colour

Some of us will try anything to get our hands on one of those nifty blazers, but are they always deserved? Asks Ben Quarry

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hat does the word ‘Blue’ mean to you? A colour? A feeling? A noughties boy band?

These are all very normal responses.

However, in the bubble of Cambridge, it has another meaning, one with both positive and negative connotations, that of a university sportsman.

The image of the University’s sports’ teams as being overly ‘laddish’ and ‘banterous’ is not unique to Cambridge. Though what we forget when we see these boys and girls out dominating the dance floor of Cindies or Life, is quite how much effort and training goes into their sport every day and how committed they have to be in order to marry their studies with their sport. Indeed, quite often you will find that those loud-mouthed yobs wearing uni stash as they strut about town aren’t actually in the team, they just happened to be at training the day that the kit was distributed. The real stars of the squad’s training commitments will be too onerous, even at a university level, to allow them the time or ability to go out very often. An undergraduate Blue’s life is dominated by training, matches and academia. There is little time for anything else.

The Full Blue sports are very deserving of the recognition and prestige that they receive. More

contentious are where the dividing line between Full and Half Blue falls and what merits a Half Blue sport in the first place. To give you an example, whilst no one can really have any qualms about whether or not rugby union should be a Full Blue, there might be some eyebrows raised if someone were to be awarded a theoretically equal Full Blue for the sport of real tennis, the Tudor predecessor of what is played at Wimbledon today, which is a discretionary Full Blue.

Similarly, the amount of commitment that goes into the sport of rugby fives, which awards a Half Blue, is one training session and one match a week. If we contrast this with the 12 hour-and-a-half sessions put in by the women’s lightweight rowers each week, we can see that something is not right if the same number of Half Blues are given to each team come Varsity match day. So does this system need to change? From a traditional point of view, why change what isn’t broken? From a meritocratic point of view, further hierarchy would be fairer but the decisions of what takes priority over what could be contentious.

Finally, from a rugby fives (sans Blue) point of view, please don’t take my only chance at a Half Blue away!

Oh well, there’s always the fall-back option of a ‘Quarter Blue’ in Tiddlywinks!

22

Lent 2012

Minority (Sports) Report

Kiwi’s sports editor introduces you to some of the sports you never knew you wanted to play

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ometimes college life seems to be dominated by the proud boys and girls who wear the maroon and gold for Selwyn’s honour. Whilst we’re all always very happy to hear about our successes on the rugby pitch, netball court and even - though I hate to admit it - the river, it is worth considering some of the sports which aren’t spoiled by such wellturned out numbers, or such a mainstream following.

And so, without further ado, I present to you some reports from the teams that perhaps deserve a little bit more of our time. And who knows, maybe next time that email comes round asking for extra players, you might be inspired to hit that reply button and join these fine Selwynite athletes on the pitch/court.

time this term. With three wins out of three so far including a 9-0 win against Homerton, Selwyn has a great chance of moving up in the league. Thanks to Emilie, Hannah, Mona, Miri, Steph and Ruth for helping to create a really strong team.

Leena Fleetwood-Wilson Mixed Lacrosse Lacrosse this term has had its ups and downs — mostly downs. The season highlight was our match against Christ’s in week two. Having struggled through Michaelmas with teams of six or seven instead of the usual ten, our numbers were boosted by disaffected hockey players, footballers and boaties, whose respective fixtures had been cancelled because of icy conditions. Arctic temperatures and imminent snowstorms are no barrier to the inter-collegiate mixed lacrosse league, leading to our dramatic 1-0

Women’s Football After last year’s disappointment at not making it through the first round of Cuppers (having won the entire competition in 2010) we began this year’s bid with as much enthusiasm as possible. An influx of suitably keen (and skilful) freshers has aided our efforts at league success, if not Cuppers exploits, and we have even had training sessions (yes you read that correctly).

Under this year’s captainship of Amo King we have not only become adept at jumping fences, but also at climbing through hedges, and at the last league match no one committed a foul throw-in: progress indeed.

Our position in the league may not have improved much – Amy’s comment ‘remember that match we won?’ just about sums it up – but we have become closer as a team, and grown in numbers, to such an extent that we can now operate a ‘rolling subs’ facility, to the relief of certain veteran members of the squad!

Louisa Denby Women’s Badminton Whilst badminton didn’t get off to the best start last term – half the team got lost on the way to the first match and the other half had to jump over two fences to reach the sports hall – we have had a great

victory against Christ’s. Our fortunes have dwindled since then, for we experienced a devastating defeat to Catz in our second match of the term.

Yet it is not all doom and gloom. We have some new faces in the team, a new whistle (orange) for refereeing purposes, and a new sense of optimism about what the future might bring. Selwyn mixed lacrosse has survived reductions in funding, collegiate apathy, and periodic relegation for many years. We have not reached rock bottom yet, but when we do, we can be comforted by the fact that it can only be uphill from there.

Steffi Butler 23

Lent 2012

By Hannah Wilkinson (age 21)

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