What's Love got to do with it?

Finding Fullfillment & Love Through Acts of Service

Story and Photos by Lizz Daniels

Tina Turner once asked, “what’s LOVE got to do with it?” A whole lot, it turns out.

Love has inspired writers, artists, and musicians alike as they seek to create art from one of the most common human experiences.

It’s a tale older than time; person A falls for person B, and wild romance ensues. Of course, in 2022, things aren’t quite that simple anymore, and to be honest, they may never have been.

All the same, Valentine’s Day is here, which means it’s time for individuals to face their romantic reality. It can embitter some because things aren’t as they wish while causing stress on relationships as unrealistic expectations fail to be met.

All of these are why this Valentine’s focus on love is the goal, but not in the ‘traditional’ way. Love doesn’t have to be romantic or even directed at another individual. Instead, it’s about embodying empathy.

There is no one singular way to do this. The answer is different for everyone. Seguin Sweet Treats owner Commie Holmes finds her way of embodying love by baking.

“I love to love people, right, and I love when people love what I do just as much as I do,” said Holmes. “So it satisfies me to know that what I love, I’m giving it to somebody. And I put everything in it. I mean I will stay up late. I will get up early just to make sure that it’s done right. That thing that you love, that thing that you would do for free....that’s love and I would do this for free because I love it that much.”

Holmes has been baking her entire life, with some of her favorite childhood memories being in the kitchen.

“I can seriously remember being at my Big Mama’s house, standing on a step stool watching her bake, and us baking together,” said Holmes. “I remember my grandmother would always make me write recipes, and I would say, ‘Big Mama, why do you want me to write these recipes?’ And then she would say, ‘So you will always remember them.’ And she would make me write them over and over, and I’ve kept them. My mother was a cook and a baker as well. So I’ve been in the kitchen all my life. It’s in my blood. We always cooked and had Sunday dinners and everybody brought food and we baked and ate and did all that good stuff.”

All that ‘good stuff,’ not only gave Holmes skills that she would ultimately use to build her business but showed her she was loved and so that she could share that love with others.

Perhaps one of the most profound ways Holmes passes this sense of love on is through inspiring others, particularly women. She does this by offering baking classes and events at Seguin Sweet Treats, where she can pass on the skills Big Mama taught her. With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, Holmes is offering a Galentine’s get-together for the ladies.

“The thing I’m most excited about is our Galentine’s Day Brunch,” said Holmes. “So it’s a brunch that we are doing. It’s for you and your Galentine, which is you and your girlfriend. You each are going to decorate a cake. We will have a full catered brunch with chicken and waffles, sausage, biscuit eggs, the whole nine. If anybody has taken my cake classes before, they know that they are more motivational because I love to motivate women. Our theme is ‘Thank You for Being a Friend,’ so we are going off the Golden Girls type thing. It’s going to be so fun. We are going to perform a skit, but I don’t want to tell too much.”

While Holmes prepares to inspire others with deliciously crafted cakes, local animal lover Lora Ragland, and her husband Wesley Tate, find ways of spreading the love with their horses.

“I had a horse from the time I was six months old to 32 years old,” said Ragland. “So if you can imagine three decades of my life changing and evolving from thirteen years old to –– ya’ll can do the math. It’s so huge. That horse went through high school, college, boyfriends....husbands. Shoot, she has probably been in more states than a lot of people. She traveled everywhere that I went. I moved her down here too and this is where she passed away.”

Many people make big moves in life with household pets like cats and dogs, but not many people can say they’ve made cross-country changes with a mare in tow. Animals require commitment and are often a reflection of those that work with them. When Ragland talks about animals, her face lights up, and the pure joy they bring her is apparent.

A few years back, Ragland began sharing her love of horses by offering lessons at her and her husband’s Seguin ranch. Many of their equines are rescues, and each animal they take in earns their name based on its personality. Ragland says her relationship with horses has made her a better person and mother.

“I tied it all together, I was blessed” said Ragland. “It helped me with motherhood, and I just decided we have to teach these young kids. We have to get kids involved. Of course, it’s not too late for older people. Anybody can get a horse and own a horse and love a horse. But the kids, we have to nurture that in the kids or it’s gone. Horses are just going to be used for work and the high end people are going to have them. They’re not going to be around, so it’s my passion to keep the love of horses alive.”

Caring for animals teaches valuable lessons in empathy, which can apply to friendships, familial relationships, and even romance. It is also a primary component of kindness.

“A horse can’t tell you, ‘hey I love you,’ or ‘I’m hurting right here.’ They have to look for certain non-verbal cues,” said Ragland. “They have to pay attention to what that horse is telling you, and they have to trust you. So when I’ve got them in the ring, I know exactly if somebody is holding the reigns too tight. I have different ways that these horses tell me what’s going on with the rider. It teaches non-verbal skills on how to communicate with an animal and give them what they need to be comfortable. Think about how many non-verbal things we get from people. Even if somebody is telling you ‘it’s okay,’ it’s not okay. It’s good because so many people don’t communicate anymore. It’s just texting. You don’t verbally communicate anymore.”

Ragland’s husband Wesley Tate plays an active role in his wife’s lessons because he believes in what they do and has seen it work.

“What I enjoy is our camps,” said Tate. “To watch the kids, they come and you’ll have a little kid who is just so quiet and nervous, but by the end of the week has all these new friends they met. They’re talking; they’re active. We had one young man come here and as soon as his dad left, he says ‘I don’t want to be here. My parents made me come here. It was either this or dance lessons. No more video games.’ But then when he got in the truck after the first day, he told his dad, ‘I’m so glad you made me come. I hate chores at home, but chores here are fun! We got to ride horses.’ It just brings out the love in the kids.”

The awareness learned by working with horses and other animals creates more empathy in individuals, making them more open to being loving and kind in the rest of their life. This caring for others helps build communities and creates a foundation of strength on which those in need can lean.

Star Sutton is Activities Director at Walnut Springs Health & Rehabilitation in Seguin, where she makes it her daily goal to show unconditional love to the center’s residents.

“We can’t possibly give love, unconditional love, unless it’s in your heart; that’s number one,” said Sutton. “Number two, you have to have a real good team in your facility to make this happen. It isn’t just one person. I give a lot, but you have to have a lot of people making sure that this happens. We’re special people, not just because I’m special, but we are special people because your heart has to be in it to be able to deal with different personalities, different people, different cultures.”

When people enter a nursing home, it signals a significant change in their life. It is the loss of independence, the loss of home, and more. Many of these individuals take on pets when their children are grown, and unfortunately, they cannot accompany their owners when they enter the facility.

“Nobody thinks about their fur babies,” said Sutton. “Their children are grown, so what do they have –– a dog or a cat that is unconditional love. And that is the hardest part: trying to find someone to take care of their fur babies or love them the way they have. People that come into the nursing home don’t necessarily believe they’re going to be in the nursing home, but I have residents who have been there fifteen years. Especially it depends on their cognitive level, so if somebody is really with it, then they worry more than the people that are not cognitive because now they don’t have anything to worry about. They’re going to get fed, they’re going to get taken care of, and they have somebody that’s going to listen to and care for them. So it’s hard on the people that are still with it, and that’s where I come in.”

The first step to accomplishing this is figuring out who residents were before their life changed.

“So the first thing we do is do an assessment because we want to talk to them about what they used to love or what they used to be,” said Sutton. “A lot of our people have been in our community. They were somebody special. Not all the residents I have have families. Some have outlived their children. Our children are not supposed to go before us, but unfortunately, it happens. So my job is to make sure these people get all the love and all the care that they need. And everybody is different.”

Some people need arts and crafts, others need conversation, and then there are those with much more simplistic needs that spring from childhood but carry across into adulthood.

“This lady kept crying and crying, and I’m like ‘why is she crying?’ She can’t talk. She had a difficult life,” said Sutton. “So one day I walked in and gave her this baby doll. That’s all it took. She loves it, and still has it because it reminds her of her child. It gives her comfort and makes her feel safe.”

Part of Sutton’s work at Walnut Springs is creating activities and events for her residents. Each Christmas, she organizes gifts with the help and support of local donations, and now she has her eyes set on Valentine’s.

“I have a King and Queen, and they vote,” said Sutton. “I put the boxes out and they vote. I decorate them, put out the ballots I made and people will vote on the King and Queen. So on Valentine’s Day, we have a big party and count the votes. I only break the vote, I don’t vote because I love them all.”

People need love, we always will, but that can (and should) exist independently of romance. So no matter what Valentine’s Day has in store, whether it be friendship, hobbies, pets, or even true love, know that one single day cannot define love because it’s something that exists all around us. Always. We just have to embrace it. •