VOLUME 14 NO. 2 // FALL 2018
Reflections I recently attended an exhibit on M.C. Escher, the Dutch artist most famous for lithographs of impossible architecture and intricate tessellations (Waterfall, Metamorphosis). Being surrounded by Escher’s work made me feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, a willing prisoner in a world of optical illusion and mathematical whimsy. What struck me most were his pieces depicting reflections. His self portrait, titled Hand with Reflecting Sphere, is a slightly distorted reflection of himself in a spherical mirror. This work inspired a slew of questions in me: Is it possible to see something as it truly is, or is what we see a mere reflection of reality? As Christians, how accurately do we reflect ourselves, our faith, and our God to the world? And which is more important in these reflections, accuracy or honesty? As you read this issue of Seed, we invite you to judge how accurate—and honest—our reflections are. And we encourage you to contemplate how well you reflect your Creator to the world.
This publication is published by New York University students and NYU is not responsible for its contents
Letter from the Editor
Table of Contents
Photo by Joseph Wang
@changhyvn
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Photo by Joseph Wang
Hiding Place Elizabeth Page
Take me back to running in the field To when what mattered most was getting to go on the slide Take me back to birthday parties and chocolate cake To baby teeth and innocence Take me back, before I understood the depth of hatred To before I knew what sexual harassment was To before I saw racial discrimination To before, when I thought I’d be viewed as equal to men To before division became our favorite part of math To before I found out that exploiting someone else was acceptable To when the world felt like a beautiful place instead of a heavy weight. Take me back. Because I don’t like it here. I don’t like it at all.
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The Problem of Suffering Temistocles Molinar, Jr.
On November 28, 2016, a plane carrying a Brazilian professional soccer team along with their entourage crashed near the city of Medellin, Colombia, killing 71 of the 77 passengers on board. Seven months later, a fire broke out in the 24-story Grenfell Tower in London, UK, killing 72 people and injuring over 70 others. Just three months after this, in Las Vegas, a gunman opened fire on the Route 91 Harvest music festival from his suite on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay hotel, killing 58 people and wounding 422. These are just some of the major disasters that have stolen headlines in the past couple of years, and for every one of these tragedies, there are countless others that happen on a smaller scale. Every one of us has been personally affected by death. We all have, or know someone who has, experienced the loss of a family member, friend, or acquaintance. And not only are we afflicted by death, we also suffer from illness and injury, as well as mental and emotional pain. We are tempted to ask: If God exists, why does He allow so much suffering?
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Because of the problem of suffering, many believe that God does not exist or that He is not good. I, myself, sometimes doubt God’s goodness because of problems I have experienced in my life. Thankfully, pretty much any question about God can be answered by the Bible. His Word gives “I want to know us an understanding of who He is and Christ—yes, He operates. Just as suffering is how to know the one of the central truths of our human power of his existence, suffering is one of the central resurrection and themes of the Bible.
participation in his sufferings, The Bible does offer a solution to the becoming like problem of suffering, although the answers him in his it provides are not easy to accept or death, and understand. But one thing it does clearly say is that, in the context of Christ, so, somehow, suffering has deep meaning. Suffering attaining to the brings intimacy with Christ and the resurrection hope of deliverance, if not in this life, from the dead.” Philippians 3:10-11 (NIV)
then in the next.
While it is impossible to fully discuss the problem of suffering in this short article, the fact is that God is good and the Bible can reconcile His goodness with all of the profound suffering that we see and experience in the world. I encourage anyone who is wrestling with the problem of suffering—whether you believe in God or not—to keep asking questions and to study the Bible. I am confident that your questions will be answered.
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Grudge Hyoju Ban
It was when I saw her with a gift bag that my heart began beating. I tried to look away, but then I saw a white cake on the table for her. When everyone gathered around her, I left and went to the bathroom so as not to see “her time.” As I walked home, I asked myself, “Where was my gift bag? Where was my white cake? Where was my time?” For days and weeks after, the questions haunted me, causing my heart to skip a beat because of my burning anger. Why her and not me? I decided that if I did not receive what should be mine, I would not give. I would not give a single dose of mine. “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?” (Genesis 4:6 NIV) I had good reason to be angry. “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?” (Genesis 4:7a) I did everything to deserve being accepted, but I was not.
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“If you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you ...” (Genesis 4:7b). I then saw a grudge crouching at my door. It waited for me patiently, seeking its chance to devour me. “... but you must rule over it” (Genesis 4:7c).
I had never considered ruling over my grudge. I thought that how I felt was natural, given the circumstances. However, God gave me a clear command, “You must rule over it.” My grudge had been ruling over me. It was now time to shift the power dynamic and take back rulership from it. Since then, I have begun to take small steps to rule over my grudge. Whenever it comes back, I command it to calm down. Whenever it tells me to be selfish, I give to others. I know that my grudge is still crouching at my door. But I will not let it devour me. And I believe—I know—I will eventually destroy it. I will not kill my brother like Cain did. I will kill my grudge instead.
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Our Challenge Carista Eliani We live in, but not separated. Mixed in, but distinct. This is who we are: Children of God. We’ve received salvation When we uttered the words: “I accept.” We’ve gained all of Jesus When our hearts were still a wreck. He says He wants all of us, But how much have we given? He’s still knocking on our doors, saying: “Child, through Me you’ll truly start living.” The thing is, We never understood How much of a grand gesture it is For Him to love us as much as He could. We live in, but not separated, Still a part of this world. And the problem comes in When our minds are twisted and twirled.
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For we have convinced ourselves That we can live two lives, Retaining our wants as natural humans, While worshipping our God in the skies. And if Jesus came down To save the whole earth, It should never make sense for us To surrender only a part of our rebirth. A whole and a part, Those two things are clearly different. But how come we often tell ourselves “I gave Him as much as can be given?” For to give Him all of our beings Is to let go of all that we desire, To think of eternal life And the time we’ll spend with the One we admire. Hard is the thought of Only having one thing. But, know that having Jesus Is the same as having everything. What does a life lived for God look like? How different will we be? And thus is the challenge of “Becoming more like Him and less like me.”
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Photo by Joseph Wang
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Saying Goodbye to Church Yvette Shin Studies show that young people are leaving the Church and searching for meaning, purpose, and community elsewhere. What’s behind this mass exodus, and what can we do about it? In You Lost Me (Baker Books, 2011), author David Kinnaman explores why 18 to 29 year olds are leaving the Church. Analyzing data gathered by the Barna Group*, Kinnaman presents reasons for this dilemma and identifies several areas of disconnection, all based on perceptions of the Church. Three are discussed below.
*Barna Group is a visionary research and resource company located in Ventura, California. Started in 1984, the firm is widely considered to be a leading research organization focused on the intersection of faith and culture. From barna.com.
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“The Church is too shallow.” Shorter attention spans have driven the modern American Church to present a bite-sized, meme-length version of the gospel. The result? Christians with mile-wide and inch-deep faith that is “too shallow to survive and too broad to make a difference” (p. 115). Young people soon discover that their superficial understanding of Christ has no power to impact their lives in meaningful or relevant ways. Kinnaman offers an old solution to this new problem: Jesusstyle discipleship. Rather than cater to the quantity over quality measure of success, he suggests more one-on-one mentorship. Mature Christians with solid Biblical knowledge and life experience can help young people correctly understand and then connect God’s word to their social lives and careers, while also providing much needed accountability. “There is no room for doubt in the Church.” Doubt can stem from a number of things, such as difficult paradoxes (How can a loving God send people to hell?), suspicion of religious institutions (the Catholic church’s priest molestation scandals), and personal tragedy (the death of a loved one). Sadly, those struggling with doubt feel unsafe in churches that avoid taboo matters, causing them to seek out other communities that welcome their concerns. For better or for worse, social media has made young people accustomed to expressing themselves freely. This can be a positive thing because it invites others into the conversation. Battling doubt should be a team effort, not an individual struggle. Kinnaman believes that doubt should be dealt with relationally with healthy boundaries, allowing doubts to be discussed openly but not incessantly. continued
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“The Church is too repressive about sexuality.” Many young Christians reject the traditionalist view of sex— abstinence until marriage—and practice a more individualist sexuality focused on personal freedom and satisfaction. Barna Group research reveals that twelve percent of young people had reported becoming less interested in faith after becoming sexually active (p. 152). Unable to reconcile the Church’s teaching with their philosophy on sexual practice, many decide to leave the Church, or Christianity, entirely. “The Church While many churches are beginning to address this topic, others still discourage any open is an imperfect dialogue about sex, not to mention other relevant institution topics, such as LGBTQ issues. Kinnaman filled with suggests broaching the topic from a communityimperfect people.” and God-centered point of view. Sexual sin, he
believes, affects not only those involved but also those around them. The consequences go far and deep, creating a dire need for open and honest discussion that will hopefully lead to a realistic, but absolutely Biblical, theology about sex. The Church is an imperfect institution filled with imperfect people. But it was created by a perfect God who lovingly calls the Church His bride. Whether or not young people’s perceptions of the Church are accurate, those in the faith community should take their criticisms seriously and strive, both personally and collectively, to be what Christ intended them to be: a genuine reflection of His love and truth.
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A Conversation on the Train Elizabeth Page I was on the train and saw a man’s zipper down. I politely told him, and he tells me that the seam broke but it’s okay because, with a smile and a shrug, people in this world don’t care anymore.
Photo by Joseph Wang
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Ligature Joseph Shin I was in bed and it was dark. The moonlight was bright outside but couldn’t make its way in. I knew it was there, maybe on the floor, or in the closet, or right next to me. I couldn’t see it, I couldn’t hear it, I couldn’t feel it. I just knew that my body was heavier when it was around. It brought its own gravity whenever it manifested. I could never stand up straight when it was nearby. My legs would buckle underneath me, and my chest would implode violently. So I would lie down and wait for it to leave. I would wait for its heaviness to subside and enjoy its temporary absence. In the silence of my room, I exhaled short, quick breaths. I would do this to try and counteract the weight of its presence, to balance my emotions. I started talking to it. “I’ve been waiting to go to the bathroom for the past 45 minutes. Could you maybe take a break so I could get up and go?” No response. Unsurprising. “I promise I’ll be quick. And we can get back to this … whatever it is you’re trying to do.” Someone honked their car horn loudly outside. I took that as a no. “Can you maybe turn the light on, so I can at least see you? Or stand near the window so the moonlight can reveal you?” Nothing. 18
“I guess I’m assuming that you’re physical. Maybe you can give me a telekinetic hello? Or write a greeting on that sheet of paper there?” The darkness lingered like a heavy blanket. Little slivers of moonlight spiked through my room. I looked at the clock on my nightstand. It was 4:59 a.m. I attempted to lift myself from the bed, but the weight was still there, like an invisible anvil placed perfectly on my body. There was a creaking to my right, and I saw my door slide open from its locked state. It opened, revealing the hallway outside, damp and dark. Time passed slowly, and by 6 a.m., the sun was ascending. My room began to glow, and all my possessions came out of their hiding places. It was safe now. “Are you still here?” Again, there was silence. But I knew it was still there. Even with the sun, now repainting my room back into existence, it was still there. The heaviness subsided, and I could groan my body back upright. I looked outside, the blood-orange warmth melting away the cold and guiding spiritual traffic. I breathed deeply and gave thanks. The weight lifted, though I knew it would drop again. But the morning always arrives with a tight hug and encouraging whispers in my ear. 19
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Deeper Waters Daniel Tejada
Have you ever been to a Christian rally, concert, or convention? The buzz is great, the Spirit is there, and even afterwards, you still feel residual anointing. But soon, this high wears off and you return to regular life. The devil is quick to make you forget about the Lord’s presence. If you’ve experienced this, you know how much of a downer it can be. Well, I have great news for you … it doesn’t have to stop there! I recently went to the New Jersey Youth Convention and had a blast with some of New Jersey’s finest young believers. These kids had such a heart for God that I was inspired to seek Him even more. But afterwards, it was time to return home, to boring reality and obstacles that awaited. This year, though, was different. God was not done with us.
continued
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During the convention, Peter—you know, the fisherman disciple of Jesus?— taught us something grand! Picture this: Jesus comes to a lake and takes charge. As He jumps into Peter’s boat (uninvited), He tells him to push the boat offshore. He then starts teaching (mind you, no one on the boat really knows Jesus much at this point). If I were Peter, I would have been reluctant to take commands from a guy I’ve never met. I also would have been too preoccupied to listen. But Peter dropped everything for Jesus. The next part is even more incredible. Jesus says, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch” (Luke 5:4 NIV). Come on, Jesus, we’ve been fishing here in comfortable, shallow waters all day. It’s time to pack it up and try again next time. But Jesus said to go deeper. Amazingly, Peter was open-hearted and willing to listen. I probably wouldn’t have, so I would have missed out on the blessing to come: a catch of fish so large it began to tear the nets. Blessings were pouring out like rain,
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and this was only the beginning because right after that, Jesus declared that Peter and his friends would become “fishers of men,” AKA the twelve disciples. Peter first had to find it in his heart to allow Jesus to come on board. He then had to take a step of faith and go deeper into the waters. In the same way, Jesus is calling us all into deeper waters. He doesn’t want us to be in the shallow end anymore. He wants us to not just accept the initial invitation, but to take that step of faith and follow Him no matter how inconvenient, uncomfortable, or disruptive it may be. We can respond like Peter and go as Jesus commands, or we can continue in our old ways of life. My prayer is that the fire and passion you burn with during the highs at spiritual events transcends to the rest of your life when you step into the deeper waters that God is calling you to. This is my goal, so that I can further His Gospel and my relationship with Him. Won’t you join me?
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Contributors Hyoju Ban Carista Eliani Temistocles Molinar, Jr. Elizabeth Page Joseph Shin Yvette Shin Daniel Tejada Joseph Wang Editing and Layout Carista Eliani Alyson Ferro Rebekah R. Shin Yvette Shin Cover photo by Joseph Wang Design by Carista Eliani
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV