November 2019

November 2019 Cheshvan / Kislev 5780

JULIUS SHULMAN’S SAN DIEGO KOSHER CUBA

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Suddenly, it dawned on Mary that retirement was totally awesome.

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B"H

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THE MEN’S EVENT

POWERED BY THE JEWISH FEDERATION OF SAN DIEGO COUNTY Underwritten by Jean and Gary Shekhter

CO-CHAIRS Larry Katz | Seth Krosner | Danny Recht | Bob Rubenstein

Featuring

MODI

Born in Tel Aviv, MODI is a renowned stand-up comedian and actor. Voted one of the Top 10 Comedians in New York City, MODI has been featured on HBO, Comedy Central, Netflix, and has appeared on multiple late night TV shows.

Sunday, December 8, 2019 | 6pm HILTON LA JOLLA TORREY PINES 10950 N. Torrey Pines Road, La Jolla, 92037 $50 per person, dietary laws observed Register at jewishinsandiego.org/mens-event For more information, contact Stephanie Huber (858) 737-7148 or stephanieh@jewishinsandiego.org VIP RECEPTION SPONSORED BY

Flyer new version 09.09.19.indd 1

9/17/2019 11:41:43 AM

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Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 November 2019

CONTENTS

page 31: Feature: Through Julius Shulman's Eyes

IN THIS ISSUE

page 35 FEATURE: A Healing Place: Camp Widow

page 49 FEATURE: What Will Gentrifying the City Mean for Tel Aviv's Future?

8 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

page 41 FEATURE: Rabby Sammy Seid Brings a Teacher's Insight to Ner Tamid

page 53 FOOD: Chocolate Chiffon Cake

page 44 TRAVEL: A Kosher B&B Comes to Cuba MONTHLY COLUMNS

IN EVERY ISSUE

12 From the Editor 22 Personal

16 What’s Up Online 55 Diversions 60 News 62 Advice

Development and Judaism 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Examined Life 28 Religion AROUND TOWN

18 Our Town 20 The Scene 58 What's Goin On

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE 32 FEATURE: JSwipe Publishes Study on the Dynamics of Jewish Dating 39 OP ED: The Myth of the Cultural Jew

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You choices, Youare aregoing goingtotohave havetoto make some choices, make some choices,

but alone. them alone. butyou youdon’t don’thave havetotomake make them alone.

Changing can bebe with youyou every stepstep of the the way.way. difficult butbut wewe areare with you every step of Changingjobs jobs can difficult with every of way. the • Retirement Plans Retirement Plans • Life/Disability Insurance Life/Disability Insurance

•  Investment Strategies Investment Strategies

You some choices, Youare aregoing goingtotohave havetotomake make some choices, but alone. butyou youdon’t don’thave havetotomake makethem them alone. www.sdjewishjournal.com

Changing jobs can be2019 difficult wewe areare with you every step of the way.way.

Changing jobs can be difficult but with you every step of the November •but Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 • Retirement Plans Retirement Plans • Life/Disability Insurance PUBLISHERS •Insurance Life/Disability Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss • Investment Strategies EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Jacqueline Bull Investment Strategies

ASSISTANT EDITOR • Alex Wehrung ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus OFFICE MANAGER • Jonathan Ableson SENIOR CONSULTANT • Ronnie Weisberg

858-532-7904 858-532-7904

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Jeffrey RLiber, Liber, CFP® ® Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Jeffrey Jeffrey RR CFP® Jeffrey R Liber, Jeffrey CFP® CFP® Jeffrey iber, FP® R LLLiber, Liber, CFP tments Managin giber, Director-Inves Jeffrey RR CCFP® Managin g Director-Inves tments Managin g Director-Inves tments Managin g Director-Inves tments Managing D irector-­‐ nvestments Managing D irector-­‐ IInvestments CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 Managing Director-Inves Managin g Director-Inves tments tments Director-Investments Managing Jeffrey RLic Liber, CFP® CA nsurance Lic ic 0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® CA Insurance CA Insurance #0C28496 CA IInsurance LLic ###0C28496 0C28496 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic Insurance #0C28496 Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 Managing DirectorInvestments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Managing Director- Investments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance #0C28496 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance LicLic #0C28496 Gina Grimmer

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858-523-7913 858-523-7913 Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey RLic Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® CA LLic CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Lic #0821851 Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey RMarnie Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® CA Insurance CA Insurance #0C28496 CA Insurance LicLic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Macauley, Rabbi Jacob Rupp, Saul Levine, CA Insurance #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA IInsurance nsurance ic ##0821851 0821851 CA Insurance LLic ic ##0C28496 0C28496 CA Insurance LInsurance ic #0821851 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com CA Insurance Lic Insurance #0C28496 Lic#0C28496 #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com

Rachael CAInsurance Insurance Lic#0821851 #0821851 CA Insurance #0C28496 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Lic CA Insurance LicLic #0C28496 Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer

Eden, Sybil Kaplan.

CAInsurance Insurance Lic#0821851 #0821851 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Lic Zeebah Aleshi Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Investments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorSenior Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Grimmer Gina Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Gina GGrimmer Managin g Director-Inves tments Gina rimmer Gina G rimmer CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Alissa W addell Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Emily Saffa Registered C lient A ssociate Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Patty Dutra Patty Dutra Financial Consultant Registered Client Associate Registered Client Associate AVP -­‐ Registered C#0C28496 lient Associate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic

CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CAzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Insurance Lic #0G75099 CAzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance #O178195 CA ##0178195 gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Associate Senior Registered Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant CALLic Insurance Lic #0G75099 CALInsurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA Insurance LicClient #0G75099 CA Insurance LicClient #0G75099 CAFinancial Insurance LicLLic #O178195 CA iinsurance nsurance ic 0178195 CA insurance ic #0178195 Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil CA insurance ic #0I18483 Gina Grimmer Consultant Senior Client Associate Senior Client Associate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Gina Grimmer zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Client Associate Client Associate Registered Client Associate zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CALicInsurance Lic #0G75099 CALicInsurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance #0G75099 CA Insurance #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic Insurance #O178195 LicAssociate #O178195 CA Insurance License #0I70215 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 Client Associate Client Associate Registered Client Yesenia Gil Lic #O178195 Yesenia Gil FluentGil inzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Spanish FluentGil inzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Spanish Yesenia Yesenia CA insurance CA insurance Lic #O178195 Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer Zeebah Zeebah Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Fluent inAleshi Spanish Fluent inAleshi Spanish CA insurance Lic #O178195 CA insurance Lic #O178195 Emily.saffa@wfadvisors.com Emily.saffa@wfadvisors.com Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Client Client Client Associate Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Yesenia GilAssociate Yesenia GilAssociate Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Client Investment andSpanish Insurance Products offered through affiliates: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guarantee Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Fluent in Spanish CA Associate insurance Lic #0178195 CA Associate insurance #0178195 Investment and Insurance Products offered through affiliates: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guarantee Investment and Insurance Products offered through affiliates: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guarantee CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance CA Insurance LicLic #O178195 !MAY Lose ValueLic #O178195 Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish !MAY Lose Value !MAY Lose Value yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Michelle Hasten Michelle Hasten

Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com

Managing Director- Investments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Grimmer Gina Gina Grimmer Financial Consultant Gina Grimmer Alissa Wgaddell addell Managin Director-Inves tments CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 Alissa W Financial Consultant Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer CA Insurance LicCClient #O178195 Financial Consultant Saffa Financial Consultant AVP -­‐

R egistered lient Associate ssociate Emily AVP -­‐ Registered A jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA insurance nsurance L ic # 0I18483 Financial Consultant Financial Consultant CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CAFinancial Insurance Lic #O178195 CA i L ic # 0I18483 Gina Grimmer Consultant jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Gina Grimmer gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com CA alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic Insurance #O178195 LicAssociate #O178195 CA Insurance License #0I70215 Registered Client

ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Jonathan Ableson – Senior Account Executive Alan Moss – Palm Springs

zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com

gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Spanish

SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com

gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Spanish

Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company.

Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC,Associate is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Client Associate Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC,Associate is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company.

Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Senior Client Senior Registered Client (858) 638-9818 • fax: (858) 638-9801 ©2009 WellsRegistered Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Spanish Fluent inGilSpanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent inGilSpanish Yesenia Yesenia CA CA Insurance Lic #0183194 Insurance Lic #0183194 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204 • San Diego, CA 92121 Client Associate Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Investment and Insurance offered through affiliates:NO NOT FDIC Insured MAY NO Bank Investment and Insurance offered through affiliates:NO NOT FDIC Insured MAY NO Bank Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com Investment InsuranceProducts Products: NOT FDIC Insured Bank Guarantee LoseGuarantee Value Investment InsuranceProducts Products: NOT FDIC Insured Bank Guarantee LoseGuarantee Value MAY Lose Value Fluent inand Spanish Investment Insurance Products: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo Advisors is tradename nameused used byAll Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells FargoisClearing Services, LLC Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors aa trade by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services,LLC LLCAll AllRights Rights reserved reserved 1016-02995 (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, 1016-02995

Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC.

Larry M. Katz Certified Public Accountant

• Income Tax Preparation • IRS and State Audit Representation • Litigation Support Services • Forensic Accounting Services • Business Consulting Services

MAY Lose Value Fluent inand Spanish Investment Insurance Products: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo Advisors is tradename nameused used byAll Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells FargoisClearing Services, LLC Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors aa trade by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services,LLC LLCAll AllRights Rights reserved reserved 1016-02995 (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, 1016-02995

EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING: marke@sdjewishjournal.com Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC. CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: jableson@sdjewishjournal.com ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR: assistant@sdjewishjournal.com

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The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2019 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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10 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

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Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 11

Is Jewish content mainstream now?

T

he start of Fall in the entertainment world means a new slate of television shows. Audiences have come back from their summer vacations–or in our case the beach–and have the time to sit down and watch the new offerings. Now that the world of entertainment is so huge, Fall doesn’t have quite the same foothold, but the momentum of the world changing over in this time of year is still felt.

And during this time, I’ve been finding myself not just awash, but completely immersed in Jewish television and movies. I had the pleasure of seeing “Jojo Rabbit” at the San Diego Film Festival opening. I recently got closure on the series “Transparent” with their musical finale. The show I’m currently watching is the Jewish, musical and funny “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.” And I’m anxiously awaiting the return of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” coming back for a third season. And these are just the works, that I, an individual, have been touched by this month. (Of course, I’m not a perfect case study of how much Jewish content is making its way to the average viewer.)

This year’s Emmys were another example of the strength of Jewish creatives and performers. (There has been so much news in the Jewish entertainment world these last two months that we devoted our Diversions section to be a round-up and not just

As there is an incredible amount of options for television and movies, Jewish stories and Jewish artists are more than holding their own. one story.) As there is an incredible amount of options for television and movies, Jewish stories and Jewish artists are more than holding their own.

So, does this mean that Jewish content is mainstream now? Of course, there is a long and proud history of Jewish composers, musicians, actors, writers, playwrights, directors, but from my seat, it seems like the stories that are being told and the people telling them are more explicitly Jewish than years past. Perhaps the secret is out.

Perhaps our renewed cultural interest in identity and diversity has piqued curiosity. Or simply, the entertainment door has gotten much wider and the opportunity was seized. The money element can’t be ignored; if shows and television can thrive on a more targeted audience, perhaps the nar-

From The Editor 12 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

ratives that might have been too “risky” for mass appeal in the past are now being given their moment in the sun.

Even on shows without a critical mass of Jewish creatives, Jewish stories are getting screen time. An episode in “GLOW” where a Jewish character tells the seder story comes to mind. And in writing this, I’ve come to learn that one of the leads of the show, Alison Brie, is in fact Jewish.

If Jewish stories are now or becoming mainstream, what does that mean? If there were just one token show or movie and now there are several, it becomes more of a conversation and presents not just the Jewish experience, but a Jewish experience. This of course complicates sending a singular message. (Rachel Eden’s column this month touches on the idea of sending a unified Jewish message). In entertainment, I think there is room for more than one message and more than story, more than one type of Jewish person, or show, or movie. And one thing that all of these works will always agree upon and always say is: I exist. A

Jacqueline Bull

CE

L

R AT I N G

EB

s Adventure OF Friends Memories

YEARS

June 8–August 28, 2020 17 MONTHS to GRADE 11

Lawrence Family JCC • JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS www.campjaycee.com • 858.362.1132 Gary & Jerri-Ann Jacobs Youth Endowment Fund • Harry & Jeanette Weinberg Endowment Fund • Sigrid and Jack Fischer Scholarship Fund • Albert A. and Leanore Hutler Camp Scholarship Endowment Fund The Larry Pidgeon JCC Youth Basketball Endowment • Sheila & Hughes Potiker Family Foundation • Community Campership Council, Inc • JCamp 180: A program of the Harold Grinspoon Foundation

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Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 13

The Jewish War Veterans of the United States of America (JWV) strongly opposes the Trump administration’s efforts to divert military funding to aid with the construction of a wall, which is not a military project, on the U.S.-Mexico border.

let us know what’s on your mind.

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204, San Diego, CA 92121

Please consider our guidelines for Letters to the Editor prior to submitting your comments:

On September 4, the Pentagon announced a list of $3.6 billion in military construction projects that will be put on hold, as the money allocated for those projects is used to construct a border wall. Some of the 127 projects that will lose money include schools and daycare centers.

All readers can comment as often as they’d like in the comments section of our website, found at the bottom of every article on sdjewishjournal.com.

Magazine articles are republished on the website at the beginning of each issue month.

14 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

I was fascinated by Patty Fuller’s feature article “The John Newberger Story” and the local connection. In recent years I visited the Stadel Museum in Frankfurt, where I admired the work of Max Beckmann, particularly the series of Frankfurt city views that he painted. Beginning in 1925, Beckmann led a master’s studio at the Stadel; in 1932 he was dismissed when the Nazis came to power. In 1937 a number of Beckmann’s works were included in the Nazi “Entartete Kunst” modern art Munich exhibition (Degenerate Art), which included works of Kandinsky, Klee, Chagall and many many other artists.

President Trump's unilateral declaration of a national emergency does not justify him diverting funds from the military The Stadel did the right thing to provide construction budget for the wall. fair compensation to the original owner’s JWV calls on President Donald Trump to family, enabling the art museum to have stop diverting funds from military projects Beckmann’s masterpiece on view for the in order to fund the construction of a whole world to see and appreciate. That a Jewish organization is a beneficiary allows border wall. for a small measure of justice to prevail.

Founded in 1896, the Jewish War Veterans of the United States of America is the oldest active veterans’ organization in America. JWV is dedicated to upholding America’s democratic traditions and fighting bigotry, prejudice, injustice, and discrimination of all kinds. As a national organization, JWV represents the voice of America’s Jewish veterans on issues related to veterans’ benefits, foreign policy, and national security. JWV also commits itself to the assistance of oppressed Jews worldwide.

JWV

The San Diego Jewish Journal welcomes reader responses to articles. Due to space limitations, responses to articles cannot exceed 200 words and will be edited in coordination with the letter’s author and at the discretion of the editor and publishers.

For readers who wish to submit multiple letters, we require three issue months to pass between published letters so as to make space for more reader responses.

Dear Editor,

On The Cover:

Anthony’s Fish Grotto, 1966. Photograph

by Julius Shulman. Architecture by Liebhardt, Weston and Associates. © J. Paul Getty Trust, Getty Research Institute, Los Angeles (2004.R.10).

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Pittsburgh’s Tree of Life synagogue building will reopen as a ‘center for Jewish life in the United States’ The Tree of Life synagogue building, the site of an attack a year ago that left 11 worshippers dead, will reopen as a “center for Jewish life in the United States.”

The Tree of Life Congregation issued a statement to announce its new vision for the building on Friday.

The home of three different congregations has not reopened since the attack on Oct. 27, 2018. The shooting left the building “unsuitable for worship,” according to the statement. It was in need of serious repair and renovation before the attack took place, the statement mentioned.

Tree of Life’s vision for the future of the property calls for the space to be a “cooperative and collaborative space that brings together stakeholders in a shared environment that includes places for Jewish worship memorial, education and social engagement, exhibit space for archival historical artistic expression, as well as classrooms and training spaces.”

Netanyahu announces he is unable to form a government Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced on Oct. 21 that he was unable to form a government coalition after trying for nearly four weeks.

He added that he is returning the mandate to form a government to President Reuven Rivlin. The announcement came on Netanyahu’s 70th birthday.

It will be the first time in more than a decade that someone other than Netanyahu will attempt to form a government.

The director-general of the president’s office, Harel Tubi, will now contact the heads of all the factions in Knesset and inform them that Rivlin plans to transfer the mandate to form the government to Benny Gantz, head of the Blue and White faction, the president’s office said in a statement.

Gantz will now have 28 days to try to form a government coalition. If he fails to form a government, Knesset members have 21 days to advise Rivlin of their support for another lawmaker to form a government, and Rivlin could task a third person with the mandate.

If that fails, Israel will go to a third national election, which would occur in March 2020.

61 seats are required to form a majority ruling government coalition.

16 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

The idea was announced to the congregation during Yom Kippur services.

“We are poised to become an incredible center for Jewish life in the United States,” Tree of Life’s Rabbi Jeffrey Myers said in a statement. “When we reopen, and we most certainly will, I want the entire world to say, ‘Wow, look at what they have done.’ To do anything less disrespects the memory of our 11 martyrs.”

Israeli-Swedish NASA astronaut participates in first all-female space walk Two NASA astronauts, including an Israeli national, embarked Friday on the first all-female space walk.

Jessica Meir, a Jewish woman who is a citizen of Sweden, and Michigan-born Christina Koch floated feet first out of the International Space Station’s Quest airlock. They were tasked with replacing a failed power control unit.

Tracy Caldwell Dyson, who completed three spacewalks as part of the Expedition 24 crew on the space station in 2010, was quoted by The Guardian as calling the landmark spacewalk “significant.”

“As much as it’s worth celebrating, many of us are looking forward to it just being normal,” she said.

The extra-vehicular activity, as the spacewalk is known in astronaut jargon, was delayed by seven months because the space station had only one medium-sized spacesuit on board. NASA sent up a second medium spacesuit this month, The Guardian reported.

On Tuesday, NASA unveiled the prototype for a new spacesuit that could be worn by the next crew, expected to include a woman, to land on the moon. The suit is designed to give a customized fit to the individual astronaut, whatever their shape or size.

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our TOWN

BY LINDA BENNETT & EMILY BARTELL

What a fun evening we had recently having attended the “Concert For A Cause” at the Belly Up in Solana Beach. Benefitting the Museum of Making Music and Friends of Pasquel Academy, all were delighted by a lovely evening of entertainment provided

by Creedence Clearwater Revisited. Among those grooving to the great music were Evelyn Lipson-Radom and Sandy Radom, Rosie Jacobson, Gary Watson and Jain Malkin, and Gary & Jerri-Ann Jacobs.

We were thrilled to keep the film focus going this month by attending the 28th Annual Heartland International Film Festival, in Indianapolis, IN. It was a delight to see Craig Prater, President of the Heartland Film Festival Staff, who used to run the San Diego Jewish Film Festival.

On our way back to San Diego, we made a stop in Phoenix for a visit with our dear friend, Gerda Weissman Klein (95 yr old). The years do not diminish the outlook of this well-known Holocaust Survivor!

Creedence Clearwater Revisited performing at "Concert for a Cause."

The Joyce Forum 2019 Jewish Short Film Festival, in its 2nd year as an international stand-alone film fest, was quite the happening! Among the short film enthusiasts were Ruth Weisz, Dennis & Didi Herst Cook, Celia Levy, Barry Fisch and Rachel Peniche, Cantor Sheldon Merel, Fanny Krasner-Lebovits, Ed & Susan Weiner, Nadja Kauder, Holly Hazan, Seth Krosner, and many others.

Mazel Tov to…

David & Vicky Mendel, on the birth of their granddaughter, Golda Pearl Mendel, daughter of Noah Mendel & Kelley Hoffman.

SDJJ Columnist Rachel Eden on the birth of her new baby.

Becky Combest, on the birth of her granddaughter, Mira Violet, daughter of Mandy & Austin Shapiro.

Craig Prater, President of the Heartland Film Festival.

Larry & Karla Bloom and Lauren Kemp, on the marriage of their daughter, Taylor Bloom to Andreas Melzer on September 21st.

Richard & Gayle Ingardia, on the marriage of their son, Evan Ingardia to Kelly Thornton. The wedding took place in Seattle on July 14th.

Lily & Nathan Jacobson were called to the torah as a B’nai Mitzvah in July. Proud parents are Melanie Jacobson & Michael Jacobson; grandparents Rosie Jacobson & Bob Jacobson, and Linda & Jeff Rose of Chicago, as well as many other family members, looked on with pride.

Alan & Yvonne Williams, on their 53rd wedding anniversary.

Bill & Jean Seager, on their 50th wedding anniversary. A Joyce Forum 2019 Jewish Short Film Festival.

18 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

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Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 19

the SCENE

STORY BY EILEEN SONDAK PHOTOS BY DOUG GATES, MELISSA JACOBS, RYAN SONDAK.

Society Globe Gala

The Old Globe dubbed its recent gala, “Where Black Tie Meets Tie-Dye,” as a nod to the re-imagined musical version of Cameron Crowe’s Oscar winning movie “Almost Famous” currently on stage at the Globe. Since the new musical was the inspiration for this year’s fundraiser, the entertainment featured many of the stars of the show in a select performance during the festive evening. Guests also picked up on the theme in their ‘60s era attire. As a result, there were a lot of tie-dyed dresses and bowties, along with elegant formal wear.

The party began with a reception on the Plaza, followed by the performance a sit-down dinner, and dancing under the stars. The decadent fare was prepared by Chef extraordinaire Jeffrey Strauss of the Pamplemousse Grille. A fireworks display lit up the sky to send supporters home on a high note. Ellise Coit and Karen Tanz co-chaired the successful event, with help from a large committee that included Valerie Cooper, Nadia Gastelum, Joanie Polatchek and Jean Shekhter.A

California Tower Illumined at the 2019 Globe Gala.

L to R: Tomas Herrerra-Mishler, Joyce Gattas, Adela de la Torre, Jo Ann Kilty (Board), Katherine Faulconer, Mayor Kevin Faulconer, Board Chair Nikki Clay.

Muffy Walker & Dr. John Reed.

L to R: Co-Chairs - Tim Shields and Kim Klett, Barry and Hilit Edelstein, Stuart and Karen Tanz, Michael and Ellise Coit.

20 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

Bonnie Wright & Gigi Cramer.

SYMPHONY GALA STORY JACQUELINE BULL PHOTOS BY GATES PHOTOGRAPHY.

San Diego Symphony Gala

The San Diego Symphony’s gala honored new Music Director Rafael Payare at Copley Symphony Hall. The gala, hosted by Tony Award Winner Laura Benant, featured a dinner and performance.

A jazz band set the tone for the after party which included a whiskey tasting, a Venezuelan themed menu, a makeyour-own ice cream bar and dainty cupcakes.A

Rafael Payare and Alisa Weilerstein.

Joan and Irwin Jacobs.

Cassidy Robins, Haeyoung Tang, Jian Wang.

Dinner & Performance Space.

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 21

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND JUDAISM

THIS WAY TO EDEN

by Rachel Eden rachel.s.eden@gmail.com

A World of Differences

I

f the Jewish community were to vote on a singular message to pass on to the next generation, what would it be? Jews are notorious for their strong opinions, so perhaps a consensus is impossible. Still, I’d like to nominate a message I believe is critical today more than ever. To the next generation of Jewry, I share the idea of educational expert Rabbi Noach Orlowek in his book My Child, My Disciple: Being different can be either a source of pride or a mark of shame.

Regardless of your race, adherence to religious observance, or political affiliation, our national identity is intrinsically Jewish and we are inherently different. Jewish identity even transcends ideology itself.

The Nuremberg Race Laws didn’t discriminate based on a Jew’s religious beliefs.

While many of us accept the fact that we’re Jewish, how many of us do so begrudgingly? Or with a hefty dose of self-deprecating humor? How many of us exemplify a confident Jew, proud of her heritage and people?

How many of us prioritize a Jewish education for young people and how many of us back up those ideals with our checkbooks?

The more we educate ourselves and others about what being Jewish means to us, the more we can drive a global positive narrative.

This strategy has been implemented for a variety of causes and groups with impressive results. For example, the Pew Research Center conducted an analysis of public attitude toward political engagement in July 2018. The #BlackLivesMatter hashtag had first appeared five years prior to the acquittal of George Zimmerman in the shooting of Trayvon Martin. During these five years, the hashtag had appeared consistently near22 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

ly 30 million times on Twitter (over 17,000 times daily on average). A simple Twitter hashtag essentially created awareness around a growing concern and ultimately became a springboard for a national conversation.

The rise in openly hateful attitudes and behaviors towards Jews internationally is no secret. This past September, Ahmed Shaheed, U.N. Human Rights Council’s special rapporteur on freedom of religion, released an unprecedented report pointing out the increasing “prevalence of anti-Semitic attitudes and the risk of violence against Jewish individuals and sites.” Just last month, The Sydney Morning Herald reported two anti-Semitic incidents of bullying in Australian public schools. The first appeared in a widely circulated video clip on social media: A 12-year-old student was forced to kneel at the foot of his classmate and kiss his shoes while being called a “Jewish ape.” The second incident involved a 5-year-old Jewish boy who was harassed for weeks by other children in the school bathroom for being circumcised, and was called a “dirty Jew” and “Jewish cockroach.”

Both boys withdrew from their schools due to anti-Semitic bullying. The mother of the 5-year-old stated in an interview that her son told her, “Mommy, you shouldn’t love me.

I’m a worthless Jewish rodent. I’m vermin.”

Chairman of Australia’s Anti-Defamation Commission, Dvir Abramovich, said in a statement, “There is mounting evidence that families are forced to take their children out of public schools and to enroll them in Jewish day schools due to a growing sense of insecurity and fear that their children will be harmed simply because of who they are.” The Jewish people should

take a lesson from the hashtag initiatives and other innovative modes of education by building our own national sense of self and sharing our message with others positively.

A few colleagues and I received an email last April following the shooting in Chabad of Poway, with the subject line: ‘With love from Pittsburgh.’ The Head of Pittsburgh’s Community Day School, Avi Baron Munro, sent the message, “I write with a broken heart ... six months ago to the day we were where you are now ... I have no words of comfort or reassurance for you. I can only tell you that as school leaders, we had to figure out how to navigate the return to school and we are now further along on that journey. If there is any way I can be of help given our shared trauma, I just wanted you to know that I and my leadership team are here for you in whatever way might be meaningful.”

This is what it means to be part of a Jewish community: uniting with our brothers and sisters and standing for justice and kindness. In a world with growing awareness for accepting others’ differences, sharing how we feel from a context of our differences is critical to uplifting our national identity and how others perceive us. We must take pride in being different, and where we feel shame, we must question how it arrived within us.

As Shimon Peres astutely said in a 2013 interview, “I think we live in a world of differences, not in a world of likenesses. And I think democracy today is not just the right to be equal but also the equal right to be different, and the person who doesn’t understand it doesn’t understand what’s happening and what is the future of our world.” A

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Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 23

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE

by Andrea Simantov andreasimantov@gmail.com

Road Trip

T

he moment I learned that my favorite (only!) niece had become engaged to marry, I pulled out the calculator, moved around a couple of zeros, booked a ticket to New York and made a short list of where to look for a dress. My elderly mother had two requests for me: “The bridal party color is champagne. I ordered something stunning on line that I hope will mask my defective hip. Wear champagne,” and “Whatever you do, don’t look Israeli.”

Not intending to burst the bubble of a 90-year-old, no one asked me to be in the bridal party and I determined that it would take a certain kind of chutzpah to assume that my sister-in-law and company wanted me to match the hand-picked attendants. I told mom, “Sorry, champagne isn’t my color and I just remembered that I’m a guest.” Her aloud response? “Suit yourself. You’ve always been contrary.”

Nevertheless, I understood what she meant by the “Don’t look Israeli” barb. Israelis tend to dress more casually for weddings. Like designer jeans and good-quality t-shirts. As a religious woman, I cover my hair with colorful head-scarfs, and wear lots of hand-crafted jewelry with spiritual or biblical significance. And while I am not so casual as to attend catered affairs in Crocs, the fact remains that I haven’t worn heels since February 2011 when I walked a daughter down the wedding aisle. (I kicked them off after the groom stepped on the glass.)

With precious little time for shopping, I went to three Haredi dress stores. Budget-minded, I tried on several frocks that made me look like a Chrysler minivan until, lo and behold, The Dress called me from the overstuffed racks. Blue tulle and lace, it was studded with an adequate number of sequins and pearls to hush my mother’s fears.

Because the sample was too large (there is a 24 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

G-d), the correct size was ordered; I paid in full.

I bought contact lenses.

Washed and restyled my wig.

Discovered a pair of once-attractive pumps in a storage bag and threw my paltry goods into a carry-on bag. My husband drove me to the airport, pushed me out of a still moving car and I boarded the no-frills flight with a bag laden with kosher food to sustain me on the journey. Thankfully I’d brought a shawl because they charged for blankets, pillows, water, air. (Factoid: 58 Norwegian kroner is equivalent to $6.37, or the cost of a bottle of in-flight water. Factoid: Cash buys squat; international credit cards only.)

Once in New York, I hopped into a waiting car and–Friday morning already–fell into bed in Mom’s house. I exercised on the boardwalk, prepared shabbos, greeted my sister who drove down from Boston and, upon making Havdalah to usher out the Shabbat on Saturday night, we three peppy gals piled into Mom’s rarely driven Toyota and embarked on “Geezer Road Trip, 2019.”

We fueled ourselves at highway rest stations with coffee and potato chips, and I posed for embarrassing selfies at Cinnabons and Starbucks. Arriving at the wedding hotel in suburban Baltimore at 2:30 a.m. on Sunday morning, my traveling companions immediately fell asleep. I’d driven the entire time and was too energized for rest.

The wedding was a dream. My niece had waited for her Heaven-sent partner and as she

approached the chuppah, he stepped forward to greet her. They locked eyes and simultaneously began sobbing tears of gratitude. The entire assemblage wept along with them. G-d’s essence filled a room that was already rife with Jewish joy.

Adding to the simcha, several first cousins attended, flying in from various US cities.

After the band packed up and the caterer called it quits, we put together a “Cousins Club Pajama Party” in the lobby–bagels, lox, and cream cheese, of course–and laughed until daybreak, reminiscing about long-gone loved ones and revisiting some of the more infamous tales of our respective childhoods.

After a few hours of sleep, Mom, Sis and I returned to New York. I exited the auto at JFK and my sister drove Mom home.

My head was still spinning in a whirlwind of happiness as I limped onto the plane, toes sore from the shoes I’d happily left in the hotel suite. Enveloped in happiness, I was able to dedicate the long flight to thoughts of gratitude for the magical journey and, no doubt, the miracles which lie ahead.A

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 25

EXAMINED LIFE

OUR EMOTIONAL FOOTPRINT

by Saul Levine, M.D., Professor Emeritus in Psychiatry at UCSD slevine@ucsd.edu

Young True Believers: Cults vs Constructive Contributions

Y

oung people are often the energetic and idealistic avatars of the future.

They are iconoclastic, criticize society’s deficiencies and inequities, and are frequently at the forefront of social change.

But a few decades ago, thousands of young people (older adolescents and young adults) seemed enthralled by unfamiliar, sometimes flamboyant, religious groups. They captivated the imagination and adherence of many youths, while provoking fears in their parents.

The groups were often referred to as “cults,” usually with derision. I was particularly involved at the time because I was studying members of such groups, and was the father of three teenage sons.

Our research looked at members of some groups in North America, including Hare Krishna, Divine Light Mission, Unification Church, Children of G-d, Foundation Church, Process, 3HO and Scientology. We interviewed members of fundamentalist sects of churches, temples and seminaries here and abroad. I also authored a government report and a book (“Radical Departures”) on the subject.

The groups were either unusual versions of traditional religions or had newly minted beliefs about deities and behavior. Each was unique, but they shared characteristics like charismatic leaders, intense group ethos, rituals and rites, diet and dress, and fervent beliefs and proselytizing, the very essence of “True Believers.”

They were highly visible, featured in newspapers and newscasts (no internet yet!), held huge rallies, and demonstrated or chanted in 26 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

Each group proclaimed its own pathway to “ultimate truth and inner peace,” and true believers were wholly committed to their new credos. The leaders were idolized (and idealized), often charismatic, sometimes sincere (if misguided), occasionally messianic, unstable or exploitative. the streets, where they tried to recruit new members.

Thousands of members left their families, schools, jobs, friends and lovers to join the groups. Controversies raged in the media and families about the pros (structure, relationships, personal growth, independence, idealism) and cons ("brainwashing,” duping, impeding growth, dangerous activities and people).

Each group proclaimed its own pathway to “ultimate truth and inner peace,” and true believers were wholly committed to their new credos. The leaders were idolized (and idealized), often charismatic, sometimes sin-

cere (if misguided), occasionally messianic, unstable or exploitative.

Young people have always searched for their identity, answers to existential quandaries like “Who am I?” “Where am I going?”

“Where do I belong?” They often experience anxieties about themselves and their future, search for meaning in their lives and seek answers in a world they find confusing and challenging.

Those most prone to joining the groups felt alienated and demoralized. In this state of dissatisfaction and searching, if they met group members who seemed utterly happy in an idyllic life of communality, benevolence, spirituality and meaning, some were smitten. While many found the recruiting messages off-putting and walked away, others joined and became avid members.

New members embarked on paths which unfolded in stages over months: There was initial exuberance and total involvement in their chosen groups, when they exuded happiness, verging on “ecstatic bliss.”

They found (at last!) their authentic selves, with meaning and purpose in their lives.

There was reduction in tension and sadness, increased optimism, love for co-members and devotion to their leader. They felt genuinely benevolent and engaged in a “higher calling.”

This early blissful state was particularly disturbing to families and friends, often leading to emotionally wrenching scenes, rife with anger and fears, sobbing and pain.

After a few months, blind ecstasy and idealism frequently gave way to doubts about the rigid beliefs and rituals and misgivings

about abandoning their previous lives and giving themselves to the group. These doubts progressed to discomfort and mistrust, especially when leaders shed their spiritual facades and showed their ‘true colors.’ Disillusionment set in, as did longing for family and friends.

Finally, most members would make a decision to leave. These departures were difficult, with pleas and even threats expressed. There was, however, no going back: There was a final schism, over as suddenly as it begun.

The months of intense membership often wreaked havoc on family relationships, with some dramatic lawsuits, “deprogramming” attempts and arrests. The vast majority, however, were out of their groups in well under two years.

After initial difficulties, ex-members resumed their lives and relationships, academic or other pursuits, sometimes with psychotherapeutic help. While relieved that the intense experience was over, some felt they’d learned a lot about themselves. (I do not wish to minimize the personal harm sometimes caused nor the exploitative behaviors of some leaders).

While those groups are now gone or in remnants, we can take no solace because new versions have arisen. Today there are intense sects which proclaim peace and love, others which urge hate in the name of deities, and still others with messianic or even doomsday scenarios.

Searchers for meaning and fulfillment can always find zealous groups to fulfil their needs (for a while), and likewise, messianic cults will always find followers.

Young people have always been at the cusps of social change, pushing social boundaries. They have experimented with new ideas for human progress and have been engaged in the revolutions of history. They have campaigned for social equality and against racism and violence, and participated in volunteer activities and work with the poor, the aged and the dispossessed. They are active in the struggle against global warming and our carbon footprint.

By the same token, we have seen that same youthful energy and ideological searching for a cause directed into militant religious and political zealotry. Extreme nationalists, authoritarian populists, fascists and racists, and urban street gangs tend to attract particularly frustrated and angry young people searching for a cause.

In their search for identity, young people want to believe in captivating ideas and people. In order to feel fulfilled and meaningful, they need to achieve the “Four B’s,” senses of: Being (“I am a worthwhile being”); Belonging (“I am important to others”); Believing (“I live according to a moral code”); and Benevolence (“I am kind to others”).

A Humble Proposal: Why don’t we as a country try to captivate that idealism and energy of young people and their need for the Believing, to work for the common good for both the nation and themselves? This could be in the form of constructive social actions, as in a significantly expanded AmeriCorps, which would encompass beneficial services to the country.

Youth could get college credits and remuneration for work in preschools and nurseries, schools, hospitals and daycare centers, retirement communities and recreation centers, infrastructure or street projects, in the military or even in rehab for minor offences and drug use.

We could channel their energy and idealism towards their personal intellectual, emotional and social growth, while contributing meaningfully to their country. This could be an exciting win-win for young people searching for meaning and fulfillment, and for a nation with its own existential quandaries and needs.A

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Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 27

RELIGION

POST-POLITICAL

by Rabbi Jacob Rupp rabbirupp@gmail.com

Castles Made of Sand

I

live for those moments when my reality cracks around me.

Growing up, I thought the Torah contained stories and anecdotes, ancient mythology and moral principles. I felt it was predicated on belief and completely unscientific, historically invalid, and just a cool story written by some old people that my ancestors embraced.

Much to my surprise (read: shock and horror) I found out that it wasn’t so easy to just dismiss 3,300 years of Jewish thinking as a naïve teenager growing up on a steady diet of Mad Magazine and NBA Jam (remember that? Yep, you’re old). There were people out there, smart people, educated people, who actually thought G-d was true and the Torah was true. I gained only a small amount of intellectual humility in high school, when I reasoned for a moment that despite the fact that I didn’t know who Rashi or the Rambam (Maimonides) was, I figured they were smart, and maybe they had some information I didn’t. So I didn’t write the whole thing off as ridiculous totally, just mostly.

Fast forward to college. Up until that time, the rabbis I knew mostly agreed with me; the Torah had some cool stories, some outdated ideas, and that being Jewish meant being a good person (we will of course leave that undefined because hey, it’s easier that way). But then I met an orthodox rabbi who actually believed G-d was true and the Torah also actually really happened. Like the sea actually split.

Much to my horror, our initial mental jiu jitsu match didn’t go as well as I thought.

He brought proofs. He asked questions on my theories. He spoke using logic, historical evidence and even fact. I was so intrigued.

Whoa. Maybe I didn’t have all the answers. I went to Israel. I started learning a lot more. I found out that Judaism isn’t like all the other

28 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

religions in the world–we want you to ask questions. Our religion is built using logic.

You can actually make a rational argument using deductive reasoning to show that G-d’s existence is the more likely than the alternative.

And you can even use the same logic, and historical evidence to verify that the Torah is true. At the same time, I started to recognize that our own perspectives on things, and those things we held to be ‘absolutely true’ usually required a lot of assumptions and a lot of unquestioned truths. I recall when my history professor at UCSD said that in no uncertain terms that the vast majority (she said 90%) of what we know to be true about ancient Egypt is conjecture. Whoa.

Fast forward a bit and a few years later I was fresh out of rabbinical school and had become somewhat of a force to be reckoned with when it came to debating religion and Judaism. I knew my craft, I knew my answers, and for those who wanted to debate, I was always ready to roll. Even when people would dare call me brainwashed, I would kindly point out that I had grown up with a completely different viewpoint and had changed it because of my new understanding of reality. Judaism was true and I could prove it based on hard Aristotelian logic as Maimonides had done hundreds of years before.

Imagine my horror when I discovered decades later that much of Aristotelian logic was suspect and subject to intense intellectual criticism. Imagine my shock to realize that other leading rabbis, living at the time of Maimonides, took serious objection to his using proofs and logic when it came to G-d because inevitably the finite mind cannot know the Infinite, and eventually we reach a point where our questions go unanswered.

I was even shocked to find that parts of

the Torah I thought were for sure true (like the story where Abraham was visited by the angels) was, according to the Rambam, a vision Abraham saw, instead of reality. My whole world was upside down. Turns out I was awash in a lack of information.

In my current worldview, I think my intellectual journey reveals a few points. First, most of us are stuck in our perspectives, even when we change them. One of the main critiques against Maimonides was that it is dangerous to ask questions because life is hard when you question. But the point of my article cannot be ‘yes, live with the questions’ because that’s so trite. Don’t think ‘well, the other side of the political aisle might have some valid points.’ Rather, look deeper.

There are things we don’t dare question. The bedrocks upon which we have built our lives.

Those are the points that should be up for debate.

I like to tell my clients and my students that G-d is bigger than we are. So no matter where we go, or what comes out, G-d is bigger than that. We have to be free to ask deep questions. Admit that sometimes what fuels our religious fervor isn’t truth but arrogance, or what makes us so sure our spouses are loyal to us is our pride instead of the fact that we are such great spouses. Sometimes we have to admit that maybe we aren’t blameless in the fact that the things around us fall apart, or that maybe things around us fell apart and there was nothing we could have done about it.

These are the tough questions that we shouldn’t be afraid to face because once you do, you’ll realize your perspective can grow by leaps and bounds. And, as they say, the truth will set you free. And, I might add, if you aren’t free, if you don’t feel free, then there are parts of your life that are lies.A

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 29

| FEATURE |

Through Julius Shulman’s Eyes

BY JACQUELINE BULL Photos by Julius Shulman from © J. Paul Getty Trust, Getty Research Institute, Los Angeles (2004.R.10)

C

urator Keith York knew renowned photographer Julius Shulman in the early 2000’s. Keith went through his archive, thumbing through hand-written index cards in his home studio office.

He was trying to see all that he had photographed of San Diego. Even having spent this personal time with Julius, in his home, Keith York couldn’t confidently tell me much about who Julius, the man, was.

A quick sojourn into Google or Wikipedia could tell you that he lived from 19102009, had two long marriages that left 30 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

him a widower twice, one daughter, and if you scroll all the way to the bottom of the Wikipedia article to the categories section, among “20th century American photographers” and “Artists from Los Angeles,” you will find the tag “American Jews.”

“It was never about him until the very end when he was talking about his photography.

I think even then when people would ask personal questions, it was about the work.

I’m sure there is some story there. I’m sure there was some heartbreak and tragedy and love and joy as we all enjoy. It was starkly

removed from his public comments. I spent a lot of time with him … I saw little bits of humanity or how you might get intimate with a friend, but 99% of it was ‘When I was there and the architect hired me and I took that photo.’... Most people have focused on his work [rather] than him,” Keith said.

And the body of work is massive. The Getty Research Institute has an archive that contains over “260,000 vintage and modern prints, negatives, and transparencies.”

“He documented the rise of U.S. architecture after WWII which is a pretty amazing

Portrait of Julius Shulman, 1954.

Islandia Hotel & Restaurant (1961), Architecture by Liebhardt and Weston.

change from what was being built prior to the war,” Keith said.

About 5000 of Julius’s images are of San Diego.

“No one has been able to tell this story about San Diego-world famous guy, cool photographs, cool looking buildings–why has no one told this story before? I feel giddy that I’m like I get to be the guy that’s like ‘Look at this stuff! It’s so cool!’” Keith said.

Keith York is passionate about architecture, but he is first and foremost a storyteller. He is a native San Diegan and these 20th

century photos of the city help reconnect him to his home in the past and present.

“To have access to this archive to share means that I can tell stories. I can tell the story about how the stadium doesn’t look that way anymore, Anthony’s got demolished ... I can start telling the stories,” he said.

And with this archive, he curated the exhibit that is now on display at the San Diego Central Library “Julius Shulman: Modern San Diego.”

The exhibit is laid out mostly in groupings of geography. (“Part of the curatorial process is making connections for people.”)

Walking through the exhibit, Keith is able to tell the story of each piece and also the exact cross street for each building and whether it still exists in that form and what else is near it.

You get a sense of the history of the architecture of San Diego and the history of the city as well. It is really striking to see photos of recreation-focused resorts that once dotted the Mission Bay shore or how the Cortez Hill in its lifetime had add-ons to its structure and an outdoor glass elevator. The more you know about the city, the more the images can ground you in memory.

“My hope–why I’m even doing this–is

when I see a building, I have an emotional response to ‘Wow, that is really amazing’ or ‘Ooh, that is really ugly’ or ’Ooh, that is too big for it’s lot.’ Most of us, myself included, you just drive by stuff and you don’t even think about it. Especially when you see it framed from a photographer’s lens, right?

You see it differently,” he said.

“I think looking at San Diego through a mid century modern architecture lens ...

People don’t expect it, but when you look at the depth and breadth of it it’s like ‘There is a lot going on here,’ which is my hope. My hope is to educate people that this body of work is important to the city even if people don’t recognize it.”

During his career, Julius was widely published in a variety of different magazines, some architecture-focused, some not, but Keith speculates that the epiphany of the value of the totality of the work wouldn’t hit him until much later.

“As he went into retirement, he was retiring as a fairly successful architectural photographer, and raised a family and built a house–he had a good life. As people like me descended upon him that it really clicked in him ‘Oh my G-d, I think I just documented post-war Southern California,’ and that body of work tells its own story, even if it Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 31

wasn’t his photographs.”

Keith recalls asking Julius about the conversation between architecture in Palm Springs, LA and San Diego.

Julius commented that San Diego had more unknown jewels and of the people that were wanting to learn from or use his archive, Keith was the only one asking about his San Diego photos.

“He thought very highly of what I was hoping to embark upon. Certainly part of doing this is in his memory.

It means everything to be able to share with you that I spent time with him before he died. He was a really neat, wonderful, talented person and we should all be lucky to spend a little bit of our lives with people that just sitting with them you are like: ‘Tell me anything. I don’t care.

What you had for lunch is interesting.’ Just being there and he’s like ‘I knew so-and-so and I was here for this and I saw that and I heard that and I was there when this happened.’ He was just like a walking oral history,” Keith said.

Keith added that Julius was in his 90s when they met, and while he enjoyed their time together, he didn’t feel like it was fair to assess who Julius was in his life from only knowing him in that stage.

He recalls seeing a menorah in his house and that there were “pieces” of his Jewish identity that were visible. The great irony being that he was being paid to photograph houses that he would have been barred from owning.

In certain neighborhoods, anti-Semitic housing policies were in effect during much of his career.

“I’m always haunted by La Jolla’s real estate practice's past. It’s terrible … If you were African American or Jewish, up until I would say the mid 60s, it was difficult for you to operate your life normally in the greater La Jolla area.”

Knowing that legacy is important to him. And with or without irony–depending on the knowledge of the attendee–the La Jolla Historical Society has their own show running concurently (also working with Keith) of Julius’s La Jolla photos.

For the San Diego exhibit in the library, “My hope would be that everyone walks away going 'I had no idea that was in San Diego.’ This guy–I can’t even say it keeping a straight face–he is crazy famous in this space ... And they walk out going 'San Diego is richer than I thought it was’ And someone takes it and mines it further than I have.”

“I hope this is a tip of an iceberg.” A 32 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

Beth Israel School of Religion (1961), Architecture by William Krisel.

El Cortez Hotel (1957), Architecture by Paderewski, Mitchell, Dean and Associates, Architects, AIA.

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| FEATURE |

A Healing Place: Camp Widow

BY PAT LAUNER

T

here are tons of camps for kids. There are even camps for adults (my husband and I went to a week-long artcamp-in-the-woods).

But here’s one that was a total surprise to me: Camp Widow®. And it isn’t at all as maudlin as it may sound.

Just to show how upbeat it is, the event is organized by Soaring Spirits International, a non-denominational nonprofit created because “no one should have to grieve alone.”

Founder Michele Neff Hernandez was a 35 year-old mother of three when her husband was killed in a cycling accident. With few resources to tap into for support as a young widow, she founded Soaring Spirits in 2008. The next year, she led the first ever National Conference on Widowhood, which later became known as Camp Widow®.

Victoria Danzig and Alan Nahum.

Soaring Spirits, an innovative peer-based grief support organization, has become the world’s largest inclusive network of widowed people. And Camp Widow®, which is held three times a year, always at Marriott hotels (in Florida, California and Canada) attracts folks from all over the world.

The organization uses a very broad definition of ‘widow,’ including anyone who has lost a life partner, regardless of gender, age, religious background, sexual orientation, marital status or length of widowhood.

Typically, more women than men attend camp. The age range is generally between 21 and 83. Lucky for us, the West coast iteration of Camp Widow takes place in San Diego every year.

When Victoria Danzig, a long-time La Jolla Licensed Clinical Social Worker, found out about it, she was intrigued.

She met her husband, otolaryngologist Alan Nahum, 34 years ago. It was an immediate soulmate connection. Neither of them was an impulsive type, but he asked her to marry him two weeks after they met.

She spent 20 months as a major caregiver during his decline from a rare form of Parkinson’s Disease. He died in November 2018. He was 87; she was 71.

Helping Herself

She took almost immediate action. She participated in the Elizabeth Hospice widows’ groups (she’s still an active, weekly attendee) and saw one of their grief therapists; she joined a closed Facebook grief writing group, Writing Your Grief, from Megan Devine, author of “It’s OK that You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand,” a book she found enormously helpful.

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 35

“When you first lose somebody,” she says, “it’s such a multi-dimensional loss. I couldn’t concentrate. The grief therapist saved my life.

I hung on every word.

“I’m a psychotherapist. I thought I knew something about grief. I had no clue.”

The first month after Alan died, she said, “I was desperate. And alone. I had 24-hour care for him at home for 20 months. He took his last breath and everyone left. I didn’t know what to do. The most difficult thing is the aloneness. I feel anonymous. There’s no one to come home to. No interesting, funny, loving, adoring husband. As a therapist friend put it, ‘I am no longer the most important person in someone else’s life.’

“My life was completely different, in every way. I found myself talking out loud, and one day, I was standing in my bedroom and I heard myself saying, ‘When I used to live here…’”

Victoria is not an observant Jew, but she came to appreciate some of the Jewish traditions surrounding death, from kriah, tearing a garment (“the fabric of your life is torn,” she says) to having people around during shiva, to the unveiling (“letting the community know you are still mourning,” as she puts it).

“Grieving shouldn’t be done alone. People need to support each other. I’m a member of a wonderful organization, the American Academy of Psychotherapists. At their sum36 SDJewishJournal.com November 2019

mer workshop, I got up and spoke. I said I was a new widow, and that I was looking to talk with other people on this journey and those who might have advice. One psychologist got up and said she’d had lunch with a rabbi who had told her, ‘The death of a spouse is like the burning of a library.’ That was so profound for me. All your memories, jokes, history, little subtleties are gone.

“You have to become courageous. I’m getting so much better at asking for what I need.

I still have a hard time that no one mentions Alan. So I mention him. All the time. And I now can do it without any anger or resentment.

“Alan saw me as courageous and competent. I’m just as surprised as he would have been at the level of pain. It just takes you to the floor. Sometimes, I just couldn’t get out of bed. I know the difference between depression and grief. They’re really different sensations.”

Victoria Danzig’s Observations on the Camp Widow Experience: I was so excited to go. To hear from people who are experts in something I’m just becoming aware of. Alan would’ve been really proud that I was there.

I was very impressed. Being in a room with 350 widows and widowers, with such a wide range of ages, and truly, the most di-

verse group of people I’ve ever been with, was wonderful. There were people from all over the world. Death does not discriminate.

Right from the beginning, I felt, I’m home. Widowed people aren’t what you think. You know, sad, maudlin, unhappy faces, crying. Yes, there was crying, but there was laughter. Lots of it, though it could be called ‘dark humor.‘ The lectures were inspiring. There were different tracks for where you were in time.

I was in the ‘One Year and Under’ group,’ being just 8 months from Alan’s death. We were in stages of widowhood, not of grief.

I saw that people could make it through.

We get bigger, we get stronger, when we lift others up.

Forty percent of the people there were returnees. This was the 24th camp. At different times, you have different issues. For those much further along, there were talks on dating. In the early grief group, about 100 people, the speaker asked, How many had problems with: Sleep? Work? Crying?

Feeling alone? You looked around and no longer felt like you were crazy.

I learned that I had ‘Widow-Brain.’ I remembered when I put my granola in a jar in the freezer. Nothing about you is the same again.

In the group, we talked about horrible things people say to you, like “How are you

doing?’ A much better question is, “How are you doing today?” I used to say, “I’m managing, but it’s a constant struggle.” Now I just say, “I’m managing.”

There are a lot of firsts in the first year: going to a movie alone; going to a restaurant you had gone to together; your husband’s first birthday. I’m going to have a birthday party for Alan. I don’t want to handle that alone.

The real task of this grief process is asking ‘Who am I?’ I have to re-discover who I am, without Alan. The shocking statistic is that, as widows, we lose 70% of our social group, so forming new friends and community is very important. I will treasure that suggestion. I met a friend there I would like to know better. I was with a girlfriend, and I saw some of the members of my support group there. It was great being with my girlfriend, being able to talk about what was really impactful. She realized she’d been taking care of other people her whole life. It was a big Aha for her. She now has to focus on self-care, and starting to say no to things.

My Aha was I have to create a life for myself. I have choice here. What kind of life do I want to create for myself? I want to travel. I want to help other people, maybe around this arena, once I get further along. I want to write about this experience with grief, because I’m

so close to it. Because of my background, I’ve allowed myself to be both observer and very much into the pain, loss and deepest, most poignant emotions, allowing myself to wail and cry. I’ve never had an emotion I couldn’t work through before–laughing, walking, talking to a friend. I’ve never had the experience of feeling out of control; it makes you feel crazy.

The coolest thing was, all day Friday and Saturday, there were tables around a large room with topics at each one: ‘We have a widowed person for that.’ So, you could identify the topic and the area that was of interest to you. Topics were, Widowed More Than Once, Without A Child, With Adult Children, Homicide, Suicide, Cancer, Accident. You could meet up with people with the same experience, disease, etc. I ended up at ‘Widowed by Rare Disease.’ That was really good.

People who aren’t widowed try and take away your pain. Camp Widow busted Four Grief Myths: People say ‘You’re so Strong.’ Or ‘You look so good.’ Or ‘You look happy.’ They don’t see your disturbed sleep or weeping or loneliness.

What’s in the past should stay in the past.

The reality is that walking away from the past is not only impossible, but will hinder the facilitation of growth and healing.

Grief is mostly focused on the life that was lived. But you grieve the future as well–the new grandbaby, the travel. All that is gone.

There’s no room for laughter inside grief.

Humor sometimes shines a bright light–even if it is dark humor. There was a whole session on Improv. There was a lot about the importance of carving out time for lightness, for being in nature.

Grief is a long road. Being widowed is hard work. I am living with one of life’s most stressful and challenging life experiences.

Over and over, I heard how courageous we were to be at Camp Widow.

Would I recommend it? Absolutely!

Something vital I learned: We are on a widow’s walk, but we don’t have to walk alone. I do feel I’m on the right path. I’m doing everything I can to help myself. I want to be the best person I can be at this stage of my life. A Camp Widow® will be held July 17-19, 2020 at the Marriott Marquis & Marina on Harbor Drive in San Diego. Details are at campwidow.org.

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 37

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| OP ED |

The Myth Of The Cultural Jew

BY RABBI JACOB RUPP

A

h yes, the American holidays are soon to be upon us. No, I don’t think that the average American Jew struggles with their American versus Jewish identity during this season like we used to.

And no, this article is not going to be a guilt trip that people should feel any kind of tension.

Most Jews these days see nothing problematic, from a Jewish perspective, in celebrating Halloween, Christmas, and New Year’s. Even those individuals who have taken the time to research the pagan foundations of the day, and the historical anti-Semitic components of the holidays (I hear you now, “oh come on, such a Debbie Downer! Always with the anti-Semitism!") probably reason, ‘well, times are different now and who cares about the past?’

And maybe that’s true–we don’t care about the past. While I’ve never had a problem driving a German car, many of the older generation I know do. In response to that, I would smugly note (to myself, not to them of course) that the Japanese were just as brutal during WWII as the Germans were, and that Henry Ford was a noted anti-Semite. And no matter what kind of historically harmless car company we would choose to patronize (GMC maybe? Volvo?) likely these companies and the countries from which they are from has had some history of unfair labor practices, oppression, or something else, and even if they didn’t, ALL cars utilize gas and oil from our neighbors in the Middle East who waged war on Israel on many-an-occasion. So what, we shouldn’t drive based on the sins of the past?

Let’s look at the present. Perhaps one could say that the “Christian” holidays or American national holidays, which once were religious, are today stripped of their religious roots. Instead, they are simply a commercial opportunity for us to get that fancy Keurig we can't afford from Costco, or to recognize Mom with a nice sweater under the tree. The trees are now just a part of the American winter scene (and certainly not a pagan or Christian practice).

What about Thanksgiving? What about celebrating that quintessential American holiday? It’s sad when you consider that even this day has been stripped of its intrinsic historical significance. Instead of a day with friends and family and thanking the Lord, most of us spend it watching three back-to-back NFL games, eating two months’ worth of food, and then standing in line for Black Friday at Nordstrom’s starting at one in the afternoon.

Is this American culture?

Most Jews that I speak to today identify as ‘culturally’ Jewish. I’m not sure what culture means to them, but culture according to the dictionary is “the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group.” But most so-defined ‘cultural’ Jews likely identify with the ‘customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements’ of America than they do of the Jews.

For example, do most ‘cultural Jews’ today find themselves identifying more with Taylor Swift and "Game of Thrones" than Mordechai Ben David and "Shtisel" (oooh "Shtisel" I love that show–the one or two Jewish/Israeli Netflix shows you stream compared to the million other programs you watch). Modern Jews feel more comfortable in a Lululemon top than tzitzis, and at a football game than in Hebrew school. Call it what it is, but being a cultural Jew is somewhat of a misnomer.

So, when I pose this to the self-identifying cultural Jew, the response is usually “well, I guess I mean I am not religious.” I push it–what is it about Judaism that you identify with?

Upon further inquiry, most of the ‘culture’ these ‘cultural Jews’ identify with includes “holidays like Passover, Shabbat, our history, and our values.” Sometimes they even say ‘Israel.’ Ironically, no mention of customs, art, or social institutions. Even more ironic is that Passover, Shabbat, Jewish peoplehood/ history, our value system, and Israel have nothing to do with culture (Jews of every culture identify with these components) and everything to do with our religion!

The Torah speaks extensively of the impor-

tance of the Sabbath (it’s in the Ten Commandments after all!), the holidays, settling the land of Israel, recalling our ancient heritage, and our obligations to be an upright and moral individual. These are all religious obligations! Why in the world then would our so-called cultural Jew, with his Birkenstocks (from Germany) and his Prius (from Japan) on his iPhone (questionable labor practices) claim that he’s not religious??

Perhaps it could be that religion is seen as the opiate of the masses. That fundamentalism of any kind is wrong, and that the almighty dollar trumps it all. Perhaps it is that we are all part of the great American melting pot, and that we shouldn’t seek to be different and therefore assume some kind of cultural superiority over anyone else. If that’s the case for why you are only culturally Jewish, then my friend, you are no cultural Jew. You’re a religious Jew completely awash in American culture.

And not that it's bad. I am a patriot through and through and feel that (at the risk of offending my readers) America has been a beacon of light and freedom in the world. I support the idea that we as Jews are obligated to be profoundly grateful to this country that has afforded us so many freedoms and such amazing protection throughout its short history.

And since Jews have been allowed to flourish in America, perhaps we can offer something to our host country besides Facebook and Hollywood. Perhaps we can offer some of our religious values and ideas; like when Moses says in Deuteronomy that we should gather as one nation, and to pay homage to our glorious past. Perhaps we could share with the Americans Jewish ideas like hakores hatov (being thankful) and chessed (giving).

Heck, maybe we can, as religious instead of cultural Jews, attempt to do something like make Thanksgiving actually about giving thanks again.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to wear a red hat to do that. A

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 39

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| FEATURE |

Rabby Sammy Seid Brings a Teacher’s Insight to Ner Tamid

BY ALEX WEHRUNG

O

ne day, while hosting a Torah study session in his office at Ner Tamid Synagogue in Poway, Rabbi Sammy Seid listened as an elderly congregant shared personal information about health issues that have cropped up in her life. She asked whether or not her problems were indicative that G-d hated and was punishing her for something.

While he personally does not believe in the idea that G-d punishes people by sending medical malaises down upon them, Rabbi Sammy sat back and listened as the community worked out the theological problem together. He explained that he did not feel it would be right for him to ‘forcefeed’ his theology in that moment. “I tend to see my role as a facilitator in these, and I end up … I lead them, but I really try to facilitate a conversation, and I was just another participant.”

“I want to make available the theology, and the community really kind of came together in that moment to support this person, like really listen to what her concern was. It was clear that she did not want to believe that, and I don’t think she thought that, but was questioning it.”

Rabbi Sammy wasn't always set on his current path. He began his duties at Ner Tamid Synagogue in July, an ironic turn of events considering his childhood thoughts on rabbi-hood. “I thought I wanted to be a rabbi until I was eleven years old, and then decided that meant not attending my own kid’s Little League games on Saturday mornings, and therefore backed off of that idea, even though through high school I remained active in my youth group. Becoming a rabbi was off the purview for another 10, 15 years at that point.”

However, he eventually received his ordination and a master’s degree in rabbinic studies at the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies, a part of the American Jewish University in Los Angeles. Afterwards, he spent

time as a rabbinic intern at Temple Beth El of South Orange County, eventually making his way to Ner Tamid Synagogue in Poway.

Ner Tamid itself is a member of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, the world’s largest Conservative Jewish body. Rabbi Sammy defines Conservative Judaism as having one foot in the modern world, another planted in Jewish traditions, and trying to create a “crucial” bridge between the two.

As perhaps to be expected, Rabbi Sammy feels that there is a noticeable difference between Jewish life in San Diego and Los Angeles. “[It] feels more reminiscent of what I grew up with in Orange County,” he said, noting the geography is more spread-out and sprawling. This, he said, is why San Diegan Jews have a more geographically broad network of connections.

When Rabbi Sammy came to Ner Tamid, he brought a whole host of ideas to pitch to the synagogue’s leadership. “I remember offering some new ideas when I first arrived, and I was in a meeting with Marisa Connell, the president of the schul, and the office administrator and a couple other people, and they kept saying, ‘Oh yeah sure, we could give that a shot!’ And I said, ‘Is there anything you can say no to?’ And she said, ‘Well, you know, we have some lines of course, but we’ll give things a try and if it doesn’t work, we’ll revisit it maybe another time, and see if it does.’

“And I think that willingness to be flexible, that willingness to try something new … it feels like there’s such an immediate trust that the community has with me–and I have with the community–to try this together, to take a little risk here and there with something that is slightly new … I think it’s wonderful,” Rabbi Sammy said.

The rabbi is something of a spiritual teacher, leaning towards the literal sense of the phrase. He earned a teaching creden-

tial at Cal State Fullerton, and served as a student-teacher of history at Sonora High School in La Habra. While he was doing his training, “I had actually been sort of enticed back into involvement in leadership in the Jewish community as a religious school teacher and a youth advisor and eventually youth director.”

However, he decided that working in the public school system wasn’t quite for him, as he couldn’t impart the Hebrew lessons he wanted to. Working with religious school families and teens, he said, was a much more “fulfilling and enriching” experience.

“Granted, Hebrew school has its own challenges that need to be worked out, but I certainly felt that it was more rewarding, and I felt that the opportunities I had to engage the students and the teens and their whole identity was much more realized in that kind of setting than what I got to do in public school teaching.

“I love the students I got to work with, but I just found that the way that the [public school] standards were structured was not really conducive to really developing someone wholly. And I found that getting to work with kids exploring their Jewish identity and their relation to the community and everything else about it, it was very enriching.

“I could see the students getting a lot out of it, and I felt pulled more and more back toward involvement within the Jewish community to the point where it dawned on me that if I could have that kind of impact and involvement with the kids, I can only imagine what might be able to happen as a rabbi, so I had made that choice to pursue it.”

Elaborating on what it means to ‘wholly’ develop someone, Rabbi Sammy said, “what I was seeing was in a public school classroom, I had to hit certain, very clear bullet-pointed standards which sort of crammed information into students with-

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 41

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42 SDJewishJournal.com November 2019

out allowing them to pursue how that knowledge, that information, that experience impacted the way they live in the world.

“And so within the context of the classroom within a Jewish space, I was fortunate. The religious school director where I was working said if a student expresses interest in a particular subject, ‘feel free to explore it more and go off the path of the expected lesson plan.’

“And as I see it when, in that way, when students got to explore things in Judaism that really mattered to them more personally– whether it was a story in the Torah or a certain ritual practice or a piece of history or whatever it was–I felt that they can more connect into the tradition themselves, and they get to impact the way they then live their lives, and that feels more whole and more complete to me.”

“I think the public school system is doing what they can, and I think that there are a lot of great educators out there, but that to me felt more whole and complete, in allowing people to discover their own identity that way.”

Nowadays, his classroom enthusiasm has carried over to his duties as Ner Tamid’s rabbi, hence the holding of study sessions in his office. “I see Torah study as really most effective when we are trying to take into our role today. One of the things I’m very fond of saying with the folks that participate in Torah study is that it’s always about process, not always about finding answers.”

“So we’ve had all kinds of different elements, from how to respond to debate, whether we do things out of altruism or obligation, as seen through text.”

Rabbi Sammy also plans on starting more educational programs at Ner Tamid. In particular, he hopes to bring the Miller Intro to Judaism program from the American Jewish University in Los Angeles to Ner Tamid, and teach it himself.

The 18-week program is suitable for people who plan on converting to Judaism, Jews who want to learn more about their religion, and people who are just curious about Judaism. The program will cost $180 for Ner Tamid members and $360 for non-members, but those non-members who plan to convert can have half their fee applied to their membership dues.

“We’re introducing some new adult-ed programs and we’re introducing stuff for the little ones,” he said. “I know Becky Bar Lev’s having–she’s the religious school director–started just this last year a ‘Taste of Torah’ for the younger-than-Hebrew-schoolaged children. Doubling on that, we’re doing a Tot Shabbat now regularly, and so we’re looking to essentially expand the offerings for various demographics.”

He is grateful that the synagogue’s leadership–both lay and professional–are so cooperative and flexible with helping him institute new programs and ideas at the synagogue. “For me, it’s just been such a joy to get to work alongside with this community to really develop what this community wants out of their Jewish experience.”

Rabbi Sammy says he feels like he and his family have found a home with the synagogue. “I mean, this is one of the most warm and welcoming, engaging and inclusive communities that I’ve ever gotten to be a part of.”

He will be formally installed as Ner Tamid’s rabbi on Nov. 23 from 9:30 a.m. to noon, in a special Shabbat service. A

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Shown Above (left to right, top to bottom): Janet Acheatel (Chair), Leo Spiegel (Immediate Past Chair), Tina Beranbaum, David Bramzon, Debby Cushman-Parrish, Paul Datnow, Theresa Dupuis, Jessica Effress, Graeme Gabriel, Jerry Gumpel, Steve Hochberg, Joan Jacobs, Roberto Jinich, Shai Kalansky, Jennifer Levitt, Craig Misrach, Andy Ratner, Allen Reibman, Danielle Rugoff, Lawrence Sherman (General Counsel), Russell Silberstein, Alan Viterbi, and Kevin Wechter

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858.279.2740 | info@jcfsandiego.org www.jcfsandiego.org Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 43

PHOTOS BY PAUL ROSS

| TRAVEL |

A Kosher B&B Comes To Cuba

BY JUDITH FEIN

L

et’s say you want to celebrate Passover with your family, or your family by choice, and you’re thinking of combining it with travel. Maybe you’re the president of a synagogue, and you’re so exhausted from endless holiday and event preparation that you want to propose a trip to somewhere wonderful where other people take care of all the details. Maybe you’re thinking of a really unusual destination wedding, and you want to accommodate your kosher guests. Or perhaps you don’t keep kosher, but you want to travel to exotic climes and have the certainty that the food is hygienic, and the accommodations are comfortable and offer the modern amenities you are used to. Or maybe you have family in the U.S. and Israel, and you want to meet somewhere and have an adventure at the same time.

Well, maybe it’s time to think Cuba.

“What?” you ask. “I thought Americans weren’t allowed to go to Cuba.”

If this is what you think, you’re not alone.

The current administration has put a halt to cruise ships going to Cuba, but you can get a visa and fly to a fabulous world 90 miles from Miami. My husband Paul and I just came back after using a “support Cuban people” visa, and I was whisked through customs, passport control, and boarding.

And who arranged it all? A self-described “Jewban,”or Cuban Jew. Saul Berenthal is a wiry, energetic, bespectacled, larger-than-life septuagenarian that could easily have stepped out of a novel. “I was born in Cuba and came from a middle class family. We had several cars and a chauffeur. My father was in the car parts business. I went to the U.S. in 1960 as a student, a year after the Cuban Revolution,” Saul said.

44 SDJewishJournal.com November 2019

(The Cuban Revolution, led by Fidel Castro, finally overthrew the dictatorial president Fulgencio Batista in 1958 and led to a program of nationalization and installation of a communist regime.)

“I was l6 years old, and I brought 25 boxes of cigars with me. I sold the cigars to get money, went to school by day, and delivered 300 newspapers every night. I made a deal with a bakery to give them the excess newspapers in exchange for day-old pastries that I sold to other Cubans for their breakfast.”

He remained in the U.S. and never went back to Cuba. He married Ceci (short for Cecilia), who lived a block away from him in Havana. And he went on to have a career in technology, and of course do business.

If you google “Saul Berenthal” you’ll see photos of him with former President Obama; he was the first U.S. citizen given the right to open a factory in Havana. “I wanted to help Cuba develop and I wanted to help Cubans improve their agricultural output,” he said, and to this end he wanted to sell tractors to Cuban farmers at very affordable rates. Sounded great, until Saul decided to buy a house in Havana and move back part-time to the city of his birth. And suddenly, once he became a Cuban citizen, technical issues blocked his business efforts.

Was he discouraged? Maybe a little. But he shortly came up with another idea for which he got approval. It had to do with matzo, kosher meat, parva food and the inspection and stamp of approval by an Orthodox rabbi. And voilà: indefatigable Saul just opened Chateau Blanc, the first kosher, luxury B&B (think: hotel) in Havana. It’s

The classic American car is the ironic icon of Cuba.

artfully designed with contemporary décor and accented with hamsas and menorahs and all the trappings of a welcoming Jewish home. It’s in a quiet neighborhood with easy access by taxi to all the sites. And it’s run by Marta Guada Boán and her son Ernesto; they twist themselves into (kosher) pretzels in order to make guests happy.

When Saul mentioned to Paul and me that he offers tours of Jewish Havana, it took us about three minutes to grab our hats and sunscreen and head out the door with him. In the car, he gave us a little background: there are fewer than 1500 Jews left in Cuba, and Saul’s goal is to help them connect to the larger Jewish world by bringing Jews to Cuba. Can he do it? Once you meet Saul, you’ll know the answer is a resounding “yes.”

Our first stop was at Adath Israel, the only Orthodox synagogue in Cuba. There are no rabbis in the country, so a chazzan named Yaakov Beresniak officiates. His mother Nelsy greeted us, but alas, Beresniak was not present. We were told that the first Orthodox synagogue was founded in in l924, and the laying of the cornerstone of the current synagogue dates back to l956.

Saul’s uncle, Mr. Wodonos, was the first president of the new synagogue, and Saul’s was the first Bar Mitzvah celebrated in the new building.

We walked into the small sanctuary and I was surprised to see a mechitzah (which separates the women from the men) made of plexiglass. The beautiful seven-branched

family belonged houses before they left, behind loose bricks when he grew up in or in floorboards and rafters. Some have Havana. Officially come back and asked permission to enter called the Patronato their old houses. They offer to share some de la Communi- of the wealth with the owners if they are aldad Hebrea, it’s an lowed to uncover old money they hid when elegant, well-ap- they were leaving.” pointed building In the main office, we were lucky to meet designed by famed Fidel Babani, a very knowledgeable historiarchitect Aguiles an of the Cuban Jews as well as the #2 SpanCapablanca. It has ish Scrabble champion in the U.S., #4 in a 200-seat sanctuary Mexico, and #26 in the world.

Another symbol of old Havana is the Hotel Nacional, and social hall, and “Is there any connection between Chrisusually prefaced by “Meyer Lansky’s.” Though still highly active, it’s an historical monument to Cuba’s Mafia days.

Ceci joined us for topher Columbus and Jews and Cuba?” I the visit. “It has the asked him. menorah and the five silver Torah crowns same blue mosaic He told us about Luis de Torres, who hint at the wealth of the former communi- wall I knew as a kid,” she reminisced. came from Murcia, Spain. “He was a ty. The books, and the table full of yarmulSaul chimed in with his memories. “In multi-lingual converso [a Jew who was kes (skullcaps) and tallitot (prayer shawls) 1951 or 1952, I inaugurated the synagogue forced to convert to Catholicism or leave indicate that there are still services for local library with the first book. It was the Bible.” Spain in 1492. Many kept up their Jewish and visiting Jews. I stood still for a moment, He proudly pointed to a photo of his father practices in secret]. Columbus took him thinking of the thousands of Cuban Jews in the lobby of the synagogue. along as a translator. When they came to that are now, according to Saul, living in According to Saul, the synagogue was Cuba, Torres was sent on land here, with the U.S. I wondered how many of them destroyed during the revolution, when reli- Rodrigo de Jerez, another Jew, to find the had once belonged to the shul or had par- gions were forbidden. “There were birds in king or ruler. They found no king, no gold, ents and grandparents who did before they here … and dogs … and cats. The Jewish only natives smoking tobacco and there was left Cuba after the revolution.

Federation in Miami put up money to re- smoke. This is described in Columbus’s “Vamos,” said Saul, rushing us along, be- store it from 1999 to 2000.” journal. We say, as a joke, that Jews ‘discovcause he had a big opening planned for the Ceci said that after the revolution, her ered’ tobacco.”

B&B in two days, and he had a long list of parents told her she was going to the U.S. He also told us about Agustín Morel de things to do.

Santa Cruz, who was a bishop in He ushered us into the Hotel Cuba in the l700’s. “He wrote beRaquel, a Jewish-themed, artfore he died and declared himself deco-like hotel built in l908. a Jew. He didn’t want to be emWe admired the 30-foot-high balmed. He wanted to be buried marble columns, marble floors, in the ground, and no one knows and ornate glass ceiling that where his body is.” greeted us as we entered the We visited with Adela Dworin, front door. On the main floor, the president of the congregawe peered into the Garden of tion, who said her family origiEden restaurant, and saw a rock nally came from Pinsk, “where from the mountains of JerusaChaim Weitzman was born.” lem in the lobby; it is with an She came to Cuba as a teenager. image of the seven-branched She wanted to go to the U.S. but menorah from the ancient Temnever got a visa. “My father was a ple in Jerusalem. peddler, in the shmata business.

We rode up the cage elevaMy mother came from Pinsk, tor to the first floor, where evand they met here. I am one of The main sanctuary at the impressive Gran ery room has a mezuzah on its Synagoga de la Communidad Hebrea, Havana, Cuba. the few kosher Jews in Cuba.” doorpost, and bears the name “How do you keep kosher?” I of a Biblical matriarch or pafor two weeks, but they never returned to asked her. triarch. And Biblical history is reflected Cuba. “My father left his sports jacket on “I buy a live chicken and take it to the in some of the artwork, like a sculpture the back of his chair at his office, as he al- shochet [the chazzan of the Orthodox synof Judith holding the severed head of Ho- ways did, so no one suspected he was go- agogue]. Then I put the chicken in salt and lofernes, an invading Assyrian general. ing to leave. He just disappeared from his wash it in water. There used to be 15,000 Saul really hit his tour-guide-for-the-day work, and from Cuba. Although he coun- Jews here and we had butchers and bakers. stride when we arrived at the Ashkenazi seled against it, my mother took her jewel- But after the revolution, 90 percent of the Conservative synagogue, where his own ry along. Some people hid money in their Jews decided to leave.” She sighed and then

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 45

about the live music, preparation of gourmet kosher food, coordinating the havdalah ceremony with an The Barenthal family (l to r: Cindy, Ceci, and Saul) at a restored grave.

Orthodox rabbi continued. from Florida, “For Rosh Hashanah and the dinner unveiling original art, and giving directions afterwards, we have about l00 people. We to guests. I asked if it were possible to visit do two Seders for Passover and about l50 the Jewish cemetery; Ceci and Cindy said people come. The kosher food comes from we didn’t have a lot of time, and Saul rushed Canada. We are supported mostly by the us all out the door with a buoyant “Vamos!”

Join, B’nai Brith, the Federation, MexiWe drove to the Guanabacoa area, and a can and Canadian Jews. The U.S. charge cemetery worker named Menengue, whom d’affaires is a Jewish lady. She’s in charge Ceci pays to restore tombstones, opened the of business. She came here for Pesach and wrought iron gate. The cemetery dates to Hanukkah.”

1910, and it is filled with 1200 tombs; 300 On the wall in the lobby, I saw a photo of them are the burial sites for children. As of Adela with Fidel Castro and another with we walked through the hallowed ground, his brother Raul. Fidel Babani said that Fi- Menengue and a co-worker etched letters del Castro claimed he may have been part on partially destroyed headstones and careJewish. “Castro is a Jewish name,” Fidel ex- fully restored faint writing with black paint. plained.

They also added cement to cracks and reThe synagogue has a pharmacy to dis- placed broken white marble. tribute medicines that are brought to Cuba We stopped at the gravesite of Abe Berfrom abroad. Because of the U.S. blockade enthal, who was Saul’s grandfather and of Cuba, Cubans must struggle without ac- Cindy’s great grandfather. Saul placed a cess to needed medications. Ceci and Saul stone for his grandfather and grandmother, and their delightful daughter Cindy not Scheindel Berenthal, who was Abe’s second only bring caravans of suitcases filled with wife. kosher food from Florida for the B&B, but “The cemetery was like a dump. Peothey also carry medications and medical ples’ families were buried here. My famsupplies. ily is here. We must restore the gravesites.

“We try to help in every way we can,” Without these people, we wouldn’t be Ceci explained. “And I also have a project here,” Ceci said with passionate conviction. to find people in the U.S. who have family “Our grandson Jeremy came here with his buried in the Ashkenazi Jewish cemetery in BBYO group. They cleaned the cemetery Havana and ask them if they want to re- and painted the wall. With permission from furbish their family gravesites for about $50 the families in the U.S., Cindy and I went each. They haven’t come to Cuba to visit around and took photos so I could show the cemetery, but most are in favor of the them to the families. And then something restoration. “Most are, but some are not,” startling happened.”

Ceci said ruefully. “They don’t want to pay Cindy picked up the story there. She was anything to restore the tombstones of fam- photographing children’s gravesites and she ily members. Or they say they gave some saw her grandparents’ last name – Lurie. “I money ten years ago and don’t want to do froze,” she said. “I had heard that my grandit again.” mother had a stillborn baby, but she would “Why wouldn’t they be interested?” I never speak about it. It happened in 1940, asked. and my grandfather quietly had the baby Ceci shrugged and said she didn’t know. buried here. He never told my grandmother The opening of the B&B was one day or anyone else except for my great aunt. I away, and Saul was constantly fielding calls asked my great aunt and she said yes, this

46 SDJewishJournal.com November 2019

was the stillborn baby’s tomb. I found it on April 11, 2015 and the baby was born dead on April 11, 1940. This was the sister my mother never had. The aunt I never had.”

The tombstone said, simply, “Feto de Lurie 4-11-1940.”

We walked by a tomb for Holocaust victims which contains pieces of soap bars made from Jewish fat; white marble tombs for a soldier who died fighting in Korea; a headstone where a visitor had left a baseball cap held down with a stone. “Your work is very, very important,” I said to Ceci and Cindy as we followed them out and the gate shut behind us. There is also a nearby Sephardic cemetery, but it was locked, and we couldn’t enter.

And then it was the evening of the opening. A female string orchestra with conga drums serenaded guests while they filled their plates with kosher ceviche, fish and cheese balls, whole fish, hummus, pastries, and brownies, and freshly baked challah.

Fidel Babani was there, along with another Jewish historian, and friends Saul and Ceci had from all over Havana. Guests dined on the outside patio, in the dining room, and in the lobby. Many of the attendees were Gentile, and it was the first time they had ever seen a rabbi, eaten kosher food, or witnessed a havdalah service. They were visibly moved and fascinated.

“Vamos!” I said, in Saul Berenthal fashion. I grabbed guests by the hands and ushered them onto the dance floor. Then I did something I haven’t done in decades; I led them in a hora. They kicked up their feet and snaked through the dining room with big grins on their faces.

Now the B&B is officially open. When we left, Marta said guests were already signing up for future stays. I imagine all the Jewish ancestors in the Ashkenazi and Sephardic cemeteries must be smiling. A For more information about hotel booking and tours: From the US: For tours: cindy@p2p-LLC.com For hotel: cindy@chateau-Cuba.com Phone: 919.618.4898 In Cuba: +53 7-881-4518 marta@chateau-cuba.com +535-812-7948 info@chateau-cuba.com

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Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 47

LEFT: POM unit in Toronto, Canada. RIGHT: Nina Brodsky (left) and Howard Feldman (right) bringing gifts to 1100 Golani soldiers in 2013.

IDF Combat Veterans Find Peace and Build San Diego Community Bridges Over the years, I’ve had the honor of engaging with dozens of young IDF soldiers. One thing that always struck me was the sharp contrast between the Diaspora’s view of IDF soldiers as extraordinary heroes, and the Israelis’ self-perception of being unremarkable.

There are, of course, several organizations to support IDF soldiers, but I’ve recently joined Howard Feldman in support of an Israeli project called Peace of Mind (POM). POM’s purpose is to provide IDF combat veterans the opportunity to explore their feelings about their wartime combat in Lebanon and Gaza, and its impact on their lives. Although most after-effects do not rise to the level of PTSD, combat stress interferes with an individual’s personal and family life.

POM provides former soldiers nine months of therapeutic group sessions in an evidence-based program led by Israeli professionals. A unique aspect of the program is that the sessions include entire combat units that already have a bond of trust. Most of the sessions happen in Israel. However, for one

week, the unit travels to a diaspora community. This allows the veterans to disconnect from the pressures of their daily lives, and to focus on the therapeutic process.

In December, POM San Diego will host our first group of IDF soldiers. This mitzvah is sponsored by Chabad of Carmel Valley with the support of community partner Congregation Beth Am. The Israeli veterans will be treated to home hospitality and the unexpected hugs of the Jewish Diaspora. And that’s where the magic happens! In an environment of appreciation and love, lifelong bonds will be made.

Howard and I hope to bring another three to four units to San Diego in 2020. Future hosting and sponsorship opportunities are open to any congregation or Jewish organization wanting to join in this mitzvah.

Details about POM San Diego and the opportunity to donate or volunteer can be found at our website https://pomsandiego.org.

120 approved teams are on the POM waiting list. Will you join us in helping these deserving young heroes?

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Deadline Approaches

contact marke@sdjewishjournal.com 48 SDJewishJournal.com November 2019

| FEATURE |

What Will Gentrifying the City Mean for Tel Aviv’s Future?

BY EMILY GOULD

S

urrounded by sparkling beaches and peppered with an eclectic mix of Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, and Western culture, Tel Aviv is one of the most unique cities in the world. There’s nothing quite like fighting your way through the crowded HaCarmel shuk to finally treat yourself to a cool cup of malabi once you find the light on the other side. Or walking down Dizengoff street perusing the shops filled with unequivocally Tel Avivian styles, afterward taking a break for hummus then meeting your friends for a drink at one of the many bars that are open–and full–deep into the night, no matter which day of the week it is. Tel Aviv is home to many people, natives and immigrants alike, all who relish in the shimmering shoreline and delicious cuisine; not to mention the–perhaps euphemistically–charming character of the apartment buildings all over the city.

While the aesthetic of many buildings, especially the interiors, leave much to be desired, they’re part of the foundation of Tel Aviv, literally. Officially established in 1909, Tel Aviv-Yafo is steeped in rich history and near ancient buildings, at least relatively speaking. From the time of the First Aliyah in the 1880s, many homes were created in the European tradition as single-story houses with red tile roofs around the Yafo area. Later, when Yafo became too crowded, immigrants began establishing neighborhoods filled with two-story sandstone buildings in Neve Tzedek. By the 1920’s, an Eclectic Oriental style came into fashion which mixed both Eastern and European traditions with features

like arches, domes, and ornamental tiles.

Around the same time, many German Jewish architects emigrated from Germany and brought with them Bauhaus architecture, characteristic of white, modern-looking, minimalist buildings which are now, collectively, a UNESCO World Heritage site. However, before their legislative protection and landmark status, many of the Bauhaus buildings were heavily neglected and are now beyond repair. Enter corporate hotels and apartment towers.

Not unique nor new to the area, gentrification is a widespread problem. Thousands of cities feel the wrath of corporations and rich investors buying up dilapidated properties with the intention of tearing them down and building anew. Perhaps those who first spawned the idea were not ill-intentioned; however, the result has wreaked havoc across the world. After renovating (or entirely rebuilding) structures, the price of an area inevitably soars. Many people worldwide have paid the price as such corporate ventures have forced them out of their homes with nowhere to go.

Aside from displacement, gentrification is also eroding cultures and traditions: locally owned stores and restaurants are uprooted in favor of strip malls and chain restaurants. “That’s our biggest concern,” says Ayelet Peres, a Tel Aviv native, “We don’t want to forget our heritage or who we are as Israelis.”

The issue is already pervasive and has been for years. Practically the entire shore is lined with skyscraping hotels that block the view of the residents in much more

humble properties who could once glimpse the sea from their kitchens. The lots which haven’t yet been filled will inevitably give way to more towers. In 2010, the Tel Aviv Municipality’s Planning and Construction Committee banned building new skyscrapers within the city center, in favor of creating more in the eastern Financial District.

The ban, however, does not include hotels along the beach, thereby making the area even more impacted with tourists and business people.

“Ze be’ayah gedolah, it’s a big problem,” says another born and bred Tel Avivian, Nivi Vardi. “The people don’t want to see their city lose its unique look and culture.”

Vardi doesn’t speak just for herself. Walking down Retsif Shmuel street you can easily see those who protest the situation; decrepit houses whose owners still cling to their properties display signs telling real estate corporations to “get lost” (a rough and euphemistic translation).

Even transplants like Hungarian Petra Beck are against the municipal facelifts, “The buildings need to be renovated but Tel Aviv is already so expensive, I don’t know how we’re going to be able to afford to live here soon.” She’s right of course; the majority of apartments in the city are in complete disrepair and the more cost-effective solution is probably to start from scratch. Not to mention that when an investor buys a building, individual apartment owners only see a benefit, as they will essentially receive a brand new apartment for free. Lessees on the other hand, will see the cost of rent skyrocket.

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 49

One Simple Question Jon Schwartz

Despite all the negativity surrounding the city’s makeover, the positives are overwhelming. Nicer buildings equal a higher standard of living for Tel Avivians, more companies invested in the city will provide for a stronger economy, and the upgrades will make for a cleaner and more aesthetically pleasing look overall. As the local and federal governments are constantly seeking to make Israel a stronger world power, these aren’t exactly side effects to be overlooked. Gentrifying the city will surely shine a spotlight on Tel Aviv and make it a brighter destination for tourists as well as investors and immigrants.

But what about the current citizens and denizens of Tel Aviv?

Shouldn’t they have a say in the matter? After all, it’s their livelihoods, cultures, and traditions that are at stake here. The municipality is planning on expanding the city limits to include Bat Yam by 2023, where high rise buildings are already cropping up on practically every block, especially those along the tayelet (promenade).

Adding more commercially owned apartments, chain restaurants and grocery stores (especially those that are foreign-owned), and foreign investors can only degrade the rich and eclectic cultural atmosphere that is Tel Aviv.

At its heart, Tel Aviv is a city that not only houses but embraces and welcomes those with an artistic spirit, passion for food, and come from all over the world. The night life is unparalleled, the fashion on the cutting edge, and the restaurants of the highest caliber. But more important than all of that are the people; I’ve never been to a place with kinder, more welcoming, and good-hearted people who genuinely want to help you feel loved and at home. The influx of a more sterile, corporate environment threatens to destroy the delightfully folksy atmosphere as well as the hundred-years old history of the city itself (not to mention the ancientness of the entire country). While the problem of gentrification is not unique to the area, the uniqueness of the area is certainly something to consider when weighing the pros and cons. I can’t think of any other place that combines Middle Eastern and Western culture and aesthetics so seamlessly, nor have I been to a place so fascinating and fun. I suppose its fate is up to the municipality, but I hope they take into consideration all that the city and its denizens will be paying for. A 50 SDJewishJournal.com November 2019

According to SANDAG, the population of those 85 and older in San Diego county is expected to increase 65% between the years 2020-2035.

Please feel free to read that sentence once more to let it sink in. Clearly, this massive increase can be attributed by the Baby Boomer population coming to age. As a gerontologist, I am both optimistic and apprehensive about the inevitable upcoming explosion in our aging population.

My apprehension of this demographic shift stems from the way society and media treats the elderly. Comedian Bill Maher calls ageism, “The last acceptable form of prejudice.” When speaking to a senior, it is tempting to ask that person questions pertaining to the past. While this information can be of interest and importance, only talking about the past assumes that person has lost the aspiration to still do.

I believe one way we can learn to combat the stereotype that older adults are frail, dependent, slow and obsolete is to ask them one simple question: “What do you still want to do with the time you have left?” One may be astonished with the answers that come from this question. With this in mind, I will be carrying out a video project that highlights the aspirations of 85 and up in San Diego. By hearing these anecdotes, and perhaps helping one 85 and up realize their endeavor, we will not only chip away at the negative perception of aging, but make our world a better place.

Please feel free to email me the names and contact information of any person 85 and up that would like to participate in this project.Jon Schwartz

jon@partnerinaging.com 858-480-1453

| FEATURE |

JSwipe Publishes Study on the Dynamics of Jewish Dating

BY ALEX WEHRUNG

R

ecently, Jewish dating-app JSwipe released an inaugural, independent study on the inner workings of Jewish dating, using data culled from the responses of 3910 members of its user base, which is primarily composed of people in the millenial age range.

“The intention of this study was to give a voice to Jewish millennials sharing openly and honestly what is true and real for them across some of the more controversial and often avoided topics in the Jewish world,” JSwipe founder David Yarus said in an email to the Journal.

The study itself contains both statistics and written responses from JSwipe users, most of whom lived in the United States. Another 25 percent were spread collectively across Israel, Canada and the United Kingdom, while the remaining 15 percent could be found in France, Germany, Australia, South Africa, Argentina, Brazil and Mexico.

58 percent of the respondents were male, 42 percent female. Over half were between the ages of 25 and 34, and the top four denominations in order were cultural, traditional, Reform and Conservative Jews. All age ranges predominantly found their Jewish identity to be important to them, whether that meant identifying as Jewish, partaking in holidays or traditions, following the culture, or having to do with family, friends and community. Most respondents claimed to practice Judaism in some way, shape or form.

Perhaps is to be expected from a group of people looking for love, the majority of respondents did not have positive feelings about being single, and were looking for someone they could eventually marry, or at least stay in a monogamous relationship with. They mostly preferred to meet a date via a mutual friend, or maybe through an app, and hoped this person would be kind, funny, intelligent, stable and honest.

Being Jewish was also an important factor for choosing who to date. “Judaism is such a big part of who I am, my community, my family,” a respondent said. “It would be hard to be with someone who didn’t share that. I want to raise a Jewish family. It is important that Judaism is not eliminated.” Most respondents said they would consider dating someone who isn’t kosher, or didn't keep shabbat, even if they did themselves.

While going out to do a fun activity like seeing a movie or attending a museum, just talking or getting food together were all popular choices for a first date, JSwipe users had their hearts set on getting drinks with their first date at a bar. And men ought to expect to foot the bill, because both male and female respondents erred on the side of saying that men ought to pay for the first date, in addition to being the one who does the asking out. Though everyone seemed to be divided on who ought to send the first text message.

After introductions with their prospective partner, respondents said they’d like to see them around two times a week before eventually agreeing with one another on going steady. While dating, they would hope for their prospective partner to be honest and wise, and not be overbearing or talk about hot-button issues, like exes, politics and mothers.

Marriage, however, turned out to be something of a different beast from dating, opinion-wise. For starters, over half of respondents said that their families wouldn’t take it well if they decided to marry someone who wasn’t Jewish. While cultural and Reform Jews mostly felt as though their families would be neutral on the idea, over half of each of the other demographics–Traditional, Conservative, Orthodox, Modern Orthodox and Zionist Jews–said their families wouldn’t be exactly pleased with the notion.

Not only that, but precisely half of 3720

respondents said they felt pressured to get married from one source or another, like their parents, families, society and even from themselves. But if they were to get married, they said it was important to marry another Jew. “It is a shared background and history,” said a respondent. “I want my children to be raised in a Jewish environment. To have a Jewish wedding.”

When it comes to conversion, most said they would marry someone who converted, while just a little less said they would marry someone who converted just for them.

Though under half of respondents said they would not ask their partner to convert to Judaism if ‘things got serious.’ “You can’t tell someone else what to believe,” a respondent said. 22 percent said it was wrong to ask a loved one to convert. “It would be morally and ethically wrong.”

Overall, the study seems to paint a picture of a worldwide Jewish population that places a high premium on finding love in someone who shares their religious and/or cultural beliefs, but also exhibits the sort of positive qualities that embody a mensch. Though respondents’ families for the most part aren’t keen on the idea of their loved one(s) marrying a non-Jew, said loved one(s) exhibit a greater openness to the idea.

At the end of the study, JSwipe acknowledged in a closing message that though the study represents 4000-some members of a particular part of the global Jewish population, they wanted the study to serve as an “exploration of the underlying concepts and nuances in language used to answer some of the contemporary Jewish world’s most pressing questions.

“May it spark reflection and conversation between families, communities, and generations.” A The study results are available for public review and download at jswipelovestudy.com.

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 51

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54 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

| DIVERSIONS |

Jewish Television and Film News Roundup VIA JTA NEWS, COMPILED BY ALEX WEHRUNG

Alex Borstein.

T

he start of Fall was very eventful for Jews and people of Jewish descent in the entertainment industry. From the Emmys decorating Jewish entertainers to prominent actors starting up their own film projects, there’s been a fair amount to cover.

Primetime Emmys honor Jewish creators The 71st Primetime Emmy Awards honored several Jewish artists for their contributions to television on Sept. 22.

Alex Borstein won her second Emmy for Outstanding Supporting Actress for the role the Midge Maisel’s manager Susie Myerson on the Amazon Prime TV series “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” and paid tribute to her Holocaust-survivor grandmother in her acceptance speech.

She recounted how her grandmother, about to be shot into a mass grave, questioned the Nazi guard what would happen if she stepped out of line. The Nazi admitted he wouldn’t shoot her if she did, and thus she survived. “Step out of line ladies, step out of line!” Borstein encouraged the audience and everyone watching the show’s broadcast.

Tony Shalhoub bagged another victory for “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” with his Outstanding Supporting Actor award for the role of Abe Weissman, the father of the title character.

During the previous week, the show also won six Creative Arts Emmys. The show, developed by Amy-Sherman Palladino, has been picked up for a third season.

Other Jewish winners included writer Craig Mazin, who won two Emmys for creating and writing “Chernobyl”; Julia Garner won an Outstanding Supporting Actress award for her role as Ruth Langmore in the crime drama series “Ozark”; Patricia Artquette, whose mother is Jewish, won Outstanding Supporting Actress for playing Dee Dee Blanchard on “The Act.”

Sacha Baron Cohen.

The “Saturday Night Live” episode submitted by creator Lorne Michaels that won Outstanding Directing was hosted

by Adam Sandler. He appeared 24 years after his departure from the show to pay tribute to fellow comedian Chris Farley, who died in 1997.

Josh Gondelman won Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series for his role in helping write for “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver”; David Benioff and D.B. Weiss won Outstanding Drama Series for the final season of the fantasy epic “Game of Thrones”; Rachel Bloom won a Creative Arts Emmy for her song “Antidepressants Are So Not a Big Deal” for the TV series “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.”

Finally, Anthony Bourdain won posthumous Emmys for Outstanding Writing for Non-Fiction Programming and Outstanding Informational Series or Special.

Sacha Baron Cohen stars in Netflix show “The Spy” After simultaneously offending and confusing people in films like “Borat” and “The Dictator,” Sacha Baron Cohen returns to television after his headline-making stint as various characters in “Who is America?” He stars in the Netflix series “The Spy”, a dramatic retelling of the true story of Eli Cohen, an Israeli spy who infiltrated the upper echelons of Syrian high society in the 1960s in order to provide his homeland with sensitive information.

Eli Cohen was born in 1924 in Alexandria, Egypt, and his family eventually moved to Israel upon its establishment after encountering anti-Semitism. However, he stayed behind in Egypt to finish a degree in electronics and participate in Zionist activities. But Gamal Abdel Nasser’s government expelled him and 25,000 other Jews in 1956 in the aftermath of the Suez Crisis.

In 1960, Mossad recruited Eli to pose as a Syrian busi-

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 55

Seinfield Cast.

Chloe Fineman.

Mayim Bialik.

nessman returning to his ‘native’ country after a stint in Argentina. To convincingly play the part of a Syrian businessmen, Eli lived in Argentina for a time, learned to speak Arabic in a Syrian accent, and adopted an alias.

Over the years, Eli acquired a significant amount of information from loose-lipped, inebriated Syrian politicians and military officials. He also, reportedly, wound up being invited to military briefings and bases. Cohen’s acquisitions are credited to having helped Israel win the Six-Day War. However, in 1965, Eli was found out by the Syrian government, and despite pleas from multiple world leaders for his release, he was tried without a defense and publicly hanged.

The series–all its episodes directed and either written or co-written by Israeli filmmaker Gideon Raff–is available for streaming on Netflix.

Sick As They Made Us.” The plot revolves around a divorced mother who tries to get her estranged brother to visit their father on his deathbed. After he dies, the divorced mother must deal with both her difficult mother and brother.

“Growing up surrounded by mental illness is not something that is easy to write about, nor is it easy to live through,” Bialik said in an interview with Deadline Hollywood. “The challenges ripple out into the lives of children immersed in these families even as they try to make their own lives apart from the challenges they grew up with. After my father’s passing four and a half years ago, I decided to explore the complexity of mental illness and familial responsibility–especially as it falls on women–as well as to highlight the redemptive nature of a family’s love as they navigate death and continue to live life on their own terms.”

“Seinfeld” heads to Netflix in 2021 “Seinfeld” will be heading to Netflix after the entertainment giant bought exclusive streaming rights for the series. The show will become available for watching on the platform in 2021.

Chloe Finemann added to cast of “Saturday Night Live” Jewish comedian Chloe Finemann has been added to the cast of “Saturday Night Live” for its 45th season. The long-running comedy show, created by Lorne Michaels (who is Jewish) has a history of hiring Jewish comedians, including Adam Sandler, Gilda Radner, Andy Samberg and Sarah Silverman.

Finemann is known for her impressions of high-profile figures, including Jewish presidential candidate Marianne Williamson, actress Meryl Streep, Drew Barrymore and First Lady Melania Trump. Finemann’s father expressed his pride for his daughter through Instagram.

Carice van Houten to produce film about Brilleslijper sisters “Game of Thrones” actress Carice van Houten–who played Melisandre, the mysterious and powerful red witch from the shadowy city of Asshai–and her business partner Halina Reijn purchased the rights to Roxanne van Ipren’s book “The High Nest”, with the intention of adapting it to film.

The book recounts the true story of sisters Janny and Lien Brilleslijper, who turned their hiding place in Amsterdam into a residence center for Jews and other people being hunted by the Nazis in the midst of the Holocaust. The sisters were eventually deported to the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, which they survived. They were among the last people to have seen Anne and Margot Frank alive, and Janny informed their father Otto of their deaths.

“The High Nest” was a best-selling book in the Netherlands in 2018, written after Van Iperen had bought the house that the Brilleslijper sisters had used to hide people. While renovating the residence, Van Iperen discovered hidden rooms and doors the sisters had built.

Mayim Bialik to write and direct her first feature film Mayim Bialik will write and direct her first feature film, “As

56 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

Gal Gadot to portray Irena Sendler, Polish savior of thousands Gal Gadot will play Irena Sendler, a Polish woman who saved 2,500 Jewish children from the Nazis, in a historical thriller she will co-produce with her husband Yaron Varsano and Marc Platt.

Sendler smuggled children out of Warsaw and provided them with false identity documents, was eventually captured and withstood torture by the Nazis. She died in 2008 at the age of 98.

Zoë Kravitz to don the claws of Catwoman in “The Batman” Actress Zoë Kravitz will play Selina Kyle, otherwise known as the anti-heroine Catwoman, in the Matt Reeves-directed film “The Batman.” Kravitz previously voiced the character in “The Lego Batman Movie.” A

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Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 57

what’s goin’on?

| By Eileen Sondak

Broadway San Diego presents “Jesus Christ Superstar.”

The San Diego Symphony will start the music playing on Nov. 1-2 with Maestro Rafael Payare conducting the orchestra for a three-piece program that features work by Schumann, Beethoven, and Tchaikovsky. Pianist Krill Gerdstein will be the guest artist. “Beethoven’s Eroica” is set for Nov. 8 & 10, under Payare’s baton. Soprano Dorothea Roschmann will perform in this concert, which features works by Mozart, Mahler and Beethoven.

“Bach, Bloch, & Don Quixote” is set for Nov. 15 & 17, with the Maestro leading a program that showcases R. Strauss’ “Don Quixote” and three other pieces. Alisa Weilerstein will perform on the cello and Chi-Yuan Chen will guest star on the viola. Broadway at the Jacobs will star Rufus Wainwright with the San Diego Symphony on Nov. 16. The Fox Theater Film Series continues on Nov. 23 with “Pandora’s Box.” A live soundtrack performance by organist Russ Peck will accompany the silent film. Jazz is on the musical menu Nov. 30, with “Lady Day: A Billie Holiday Tribute.”

The La Jolla Playhouse is taking on “Cambodian Rock Band,” a story about survivors, the resilient bond of family, and the enduring power of music. Songs by Dengue Fever will propel the plot, when the show takes up residency at the Playhouse Nov. 12 through Dec. 15.

The Old Globe has two special family-friendly shows coming our way this month. The Main Stage will feature “Dr. Seuss’s “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (a classic for the past 22 years). The musical version of this beloved holiday story will stay put from Nov. 3 through Dec. 29.

“Ebenezer Scrooge’s Big San Diego Christmas Show” will make its San Diego debut on the White stage Nov. 23–Dec. 24. This latest holiday bon bon has a comic twist to delight audiences of all ages.

The Globe and the University of San Diego’s Graduate Program will put on Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” Nov. 2-10.

Broadway-San Diego is presenting two diverse offerings this month. The Blue Man Group will turn up the volume Nov. 8-10 with their dazzling antics, followed on Nov. 12 58 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

L-R: James Sutorius, Bryan Banville & Lenny Wolpe, “Sunshine Boys” at North Coast Rep. by a return of the iconic Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, “Jesus Christ Superstar.” The show will celebrate its 50th anniversary through Nov. 17 at the Civic Theater.

North Coast Repertory Theater is serving up a Neil Simon comedy this month. “The Sunshine Boys” will tickle your funny bone through Nov. 17, and if you haven’t seen the beloved comedy in a long time, you might want to catch up with Simon’s memorable characters and brilliant dialogue while the show is ensconced in Solana Beach.

The San Diego Repertory Theater is ready to unwrap “Hold These Truths,” an inspiring true story of an American hero who defied the unjust order to report to a Japanese internment camp and fought for 50 years to right that wrong.

The dramatic piece will be fascinating audiences at the Lyceum Space Nov. 14 through Dec. 8.

Cygnet Theater is currently staging “The Last Five Years,” an intimate musical about two 20-something New Yorkers who fall in and out of love during half a decade. The bittersweet story features beautiful music and a lot of humor.

The show will continue at the troupe’s Old Town Theater through Nov. 17. Following on its heels is “A Christmas Carol,” Cygnet’s holiday favorite (with an original score, puppetry, and other wonderful special effects). The show will stay put from Nov. 27 through Dec. 29.

The Lamb’s Players are offering a romantic adventure at their Coronado home. “Ring Round the Moon,” running through Nov. 17, taps its humor and wisdom from the machinations between a pair of identical twins. The play is an adaptation of the classic, “Invitation to the Castle” and promises insights into relationships, love, and money.

City Ballet is staging “Carmina Burana,” a stunning work set to Carl Orff’s magnificent score. The ballet, featured along with the fleet-footed “Straw Feet,” will take over the Spreckels Theater Nov. 1-3.

San Diego Musical Theater is getting an early start on its holiday musical offerings. “A Christmas Story” will make its debut at the Horton Grand Theater on Nov. 29 and will stay around through Dec. 29.

Lamb’s Players Theatre, “Ring Around the Room.”

Moxie introduced San Diego theater-goers to the Olivier Award-winning hit comedy, “Handbagged,” recently. Under the direction of Kim Strassburger, this story about England’s Iron Lady and her relationship with the Queen, will continue through Nov. 17.

The Timken Museum’s “Masterpieces of Italian Drawings” is ensconced through Dec. 15. The show features Fra Bartolemmeo’s Study for Salvator Munde and Andrea del Sarto’s The Lamentation with Four Saints.

The Museum of Art is ready to unveil “Bouguereau & America,” an exhibition that includes 40 canvases depicting modern interpretations of classical subjects by the French artist. The show will remain from Nov. 9 through March 15 of next year. “Black Life: Images of Resistance & Resilience in Southern California,” an exhibition that showcases 40 modern prints, continues through Dec. 1. “Abstract Revolution”–settled in through Feb. 23 of 2020–will re-evaluate the development of Abstract Expressionism.

The Museum of Contemporary Art’s downtown location will feature “Marnie Weber: Songs that Never Die and Other Stories,” a collection of sculptures and photographs by an artist from Los Angeles’ post-punk scene. The exhibition winds down on Nov. 3.

Birch Aquarium is highlighting a permanent exhibition, “Seadragons & Seahorses.” Hall of Fishes,” which also serves as a working laboratory, is also on view. Birch has an installation on light by scientist Michael Latz, and another exhibition that helps you understand Scripps’ expeditions to discover and protect the planet. “Expedition at Sea” includes a 33-foot long projected triptych and hands-on learning opportunities.

Another interesting exhibition at the Birch is “Research in Action: 100 Island Challenge,” an exhibit that explores the way reefs are adapting to our rapidly changing planet.

Also on display is “Oddities: Hidden Heroes of the Scripps Collection,” a comic book-inspired exhibit that highlights amazing adaptations of ocean species.

The Reuben Fleet Science Center will be showing a new film, “Turtle Odyssey” (narrated by Russell Crowe) along with “Superpower Dogs,” (which showcases the bravery and prowess of some of the world’s most remarkable dogs) and “Volcanoes: The Fires of Creation” (which examines the contribution of volcanoes to Museum of Contemporary Art. the wildlife ecosystem and their impact on humans). Also at the Fleet is the “Renegade Science Project,” which escorts visitors through the park for a 90-minute exploration. Its newest exhibition, “Sun, Earth, Universe,” is an interactive exhibit that explores the world of space science and astronomy. “Pause/Play,” an immersive experience for mind and body that uses science in a completely new way, has been extended through Jan. 5.

The Fleet is offering “Dream, Design, Build”–an exhibition that explores the museum’s collection of interactive engineering activities, and “Taping Shape 2.0,” which uses hundreds of rolls of packing tape to create a world of translucent spaces and tunnels. The Fleet has several other permanent exhibitions, including “Don’t Try This at Home,” “Studio X”, “Block Busters,” and “Origins in Space.” The newest is “It’s Electric,” an interactive show that explores the fundamentals of electricity.

The Natural History Museum is captivating audiences with “Escape the Nat”–an escape room experience that dares you to solve puzzles and save the world. The 3-D film include “Hidden Pacific,” “Ocean Oasis,” and “Conquest of the Skies. “Hidden Gems” is another attraction.

“Coast to Cactus in California,” and “Unshelved: Cool Stuff from Storage”–a display of specimens from around the world–are also worth checking out.

The New Children’s Museum has a colorful interactive textile environment to amuse the small-fry set. Dubbed Whammock, the intricate installation (designed by artist Toshiko Horiuchi MacAdam) invites kids to climb, play, and have fun.

The San Diego History Center is featuring the first exhibition in Balboa Park exploring San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community.

The History Museum’s permanent exhibition, “Placed Promises,” chronicles the history of the San Diego region–and the America’s Cup Exhibition, highlights the sailing race held in San Diego three times since 1988.

The Museum of Man (open during a seismic retrofit) is showcasing “Cannibals: Myth & Reality” and “PostSecret.” A

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 59

the news

Lawrence Family JCC to Hold 4th Annual Tapestry Event

Father Joe’s Villages Opens Third Thrift Store Father Joe’s Villages opened a new thrift store on Oct. 3 on University Avenue, complete with a ribbon-cutting ceremony in the morning.

Now the Hillcrest community can shop through entire aisles of quality donations of furniture, clothes and home goods, all for the benefit of people in need.

All proceeds from Father Joe’s Thrift Stores and Donation Centers go towards helping San Diego’s homeless get back on their feet. The opening of the Hillcrest location marks it as Father Joe’s third thrift store, along with its locations in El Cajon and Imperial Beach.

Last year, Father Joe’s Villages provided meals, housing, health care, employment services, therapeutic childcare and more to over 14,500 people.

JCompany Presents “Disney’s My Son Pinocchio Jr.” JCompany will be putting on a production of “Disney’s My Son Pinocchio Jr.” from Nov. 2 to Nov. 17. The musical, based on the 2000 television film “Gepetto” starring Drew Carey, delves into themes of honesty, bravery, understanding and selflessness.

“It’s a story about the true meaning of family relationships. In the original, the story was focused on Pinocchio’s perspective, so it’s interesting because in this version we share the story through the lens of Geppetto. Families in the audience will cherish this relatable musical with their children,” said JCompany Artistic Director Joey Landwehr.

The show will play at the David & Dorothea Garfield Theater at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center. Showtimes are 8:30 p.m. on Saturdays, 12 p.m. and 2:30 p.m. on Sundays. Tickets are priced at $19 for students and $17 for JCC members, with group rates available.

60 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

Lawrence Family JCC will hold its 4th annual Tapestry event on Nov. 17, from 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. The event aims to be a community celebration of Jewish learning. Following registration and a light breakfast period, participants will then attend two different 45-minute classes of their choosing during a learning session. The event will conclude with an address on Jerusalem from the event’s keynote speakers, Chaya Gilboa and Marik Shturn.

All classes will be filled on a first-come first-serve basis. Each learning session has 10 classes from which participants can pick, with topics like Jewish numerology, Freud and Jewish identity, and the history of the Maccabi organization being available.

Cost of attendance is $18.

TechnionIsrael Institute of Technology Appoints New President On Oct. 1, Professor Uri Sivan succeeded Professor Peretz Lavie as the 17th president of Technion-Israel Institute of Technology, the oldest university in Israel. Various VIPs attended his Sept. 29 inauguration ceremony, including Education Minister Rabbi Rafi Peretz. Sivan noted in his acceptance speech that his parents had immigrated from Poland to study at Technion.

The great challenges of the 21st century–human health, energy, environment, sustainability, advanced manufacturing, and education–require a multifaceted approach,” Prof. Sivan said. “Our success will be measured by our ability to create the necessary synergy to meet the challenges facing humanity. Education will change dramatically. All knowledge is at our fingertips, and universities will have to reinvent themselves in a world where information is accessible to all and updated exponentially.”

Meetings and Events for Jewish Seniors Jewish War Veterans of San Diego, Post-185 Contact Jerome Klein (858) 521-8694 Nov. 10, 10 a.m.

Lawrence Family JCC Contact Melanie Rubin (858) 362-1141

Israel Cycling Academy Heading to 2020 World Tour Israel Cycling Academy will compete in the upcoming World Tour following an agreement with Katusha Management. The ICA will race under the existing Katusha license, and under a new sponsorship agreement, the Israeli team will wear blue and white colors provided

by Katusha branded apparel.

Nov. 15, 10 to 11:30 a.m., or 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Attend a workshop on brain health. Free. Call (702) 631-1555 to register.

Nov. 25, 10 a.m. Learn about Values and Mitzvot and what separates them. Member price is $8, non-member price is $10.

Sign up at (858) 362-1141 by Nov 18.

Veterans Association of North County, Post-385 Contact Marsha Schjolberg (760) 492-7443

“We have several new riders, including some from the current Katusha team that will join, and I promise we will make some noise in lots of big races next year. We are: Just. Getting. Started,” said ICA coowner Sylvan Adams.

Jewish War Veterans meetings

ICA founder and fellow co-owner Ron Baron expressed his enthusiasm for the prospect of seeing Israeli riders on a professional Israeli team at the World Tour. “I am sure that this step will enhance our core vision to develop Israeli Cycling on the world stage. To see an Israeli rider in the Tour De France next season will be, for me, very satisfying.”

On the Go Excursions

Swastika Drawn on Sign for Law Office of Jewish Attorney in Palm Springs Palm Springs police are investigating the drawing of a swastika outside the office of Jewish attorney Bob Weinstein as a hate crime. The swastika was scrawled on a sign for Weinstein and Associates. Weinstein discovered the swastika at 11:30 a.m. and police arrived at the scene at 11:53 a.m.

“This is a horrible crime,” Weinstein told the Palm Springs Desert Sun. “I’m especially affected by it because they know I’m Jewish, with a name like that, and they know I’m in this building ’cause my name’s on the building. My family survived the Holocaust so we’re very sensitive to those kind of hate signs.”

Nov. 17, 11 a.m.

Contact Mia Elenes (858) 637-3012 Nov. 17, Depart 1:30 p.m., return 5:00 p.m.

Take a trip to go see a production of “My Son Pinocchio Jr.” at JCompany at JCC La Jolla. Pay $25 by Nov. 4.

JFS College Avenue Center at Temple Emanu-El Contact Mia Elenes (858) 637-3012 Nov. 18, 1 p.m. See a screening of “The Tomorrow Man” and take part in a discussion afterwards with Ralph de Lauro, San Diego Central Library film programmer.

Free for CAC members, $2 for others.

North County Jewish Seniors Club at the Oceanside Senior Center Contact Josephine (760) 295-2564 Nov. 21, 12:30 p.m.

Weinstein and an employee from the neighboring O’Linn Security Inc. were able to remove most of the swastika with paint-remover; police said it was drawn in crayon.

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 61

ADVICE

ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macauley asksadie@aol.com

The Real Dream Team: You and Your Child

S

halom my dear San Diegans: my mulching mind has turned to … dreaming. Yes, I was a “dreamer.” I had time. Back in “the day” no one scheduled us for “Ultimate Peewee Soccer” after school, “Alpha-ed” us at four to get into Harvard, bought out thingies at Toys ‘R Us, or would (if they could) let us “twit” to a million “friends” on social media. We kids were far more unscheduled to figure “fun” and life out for ourselves. As with most things, the techie gadgets, the plethora of “busy” ops, the obsession with “success” starting at age two, is both a blessing and a curse. We’ve got the blessing down, but the curse? let’s look.

The Real Dream Team: You and Your Child “Stop and smell the roses.” How many times have Boomers and Gen-X-ers heard that one from our zaydes, mates, and shrinks?

I believe they’re referring to a simple question we’ve almost left behind in our digital, A-Type, i-Phone, soundbite, B-roll world.

Whatever happened to … “Dreaming?”

When was the last time you heard a parent say, “Rebecca? No. We didn’t sign her up for Mommy & Me Yoga. We’ve penciled in dreaming, instead.” Or, how about: “Toddler computer? Not yet. We want him to imagine, without a room of machines teaching him how fun it is to blog what they ate for breakfast, to obsess over Candy Crush and how to replace a whole cursive sentence with LOL?” Today, the average four-year-old has a schedule that would send the Prime Minister of Israel into a sanitarium.

Pre-dawn pre-school.

Onto lessons: French, ukulele, ultimate peewee judo, digital animation.

Groups: Toddler speed debating, street dancing, riding, triathlon for tots.

Homework.

More computer.

62 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2019

Bed (to get ready for the next day’s “routine”).

Even their friendships are scheduled as we schlep them to “Play groups,” Gymborees, and other kiddie groups. All this to insure our mamalas a) are able to compete; b) become socially adaptable; c) will get into the Ivy League school of your choice.

For a kid who detested being programmed, I’d have shaken my curls, joined the “How to Pack a Bag” group, hopped a tricycle and, like Thoreau, hit the road in search of a cabin.

You see, the one thing that’s missing on the posted lists and fridge charts is dream time.

When we Boomers were young, we had lots of it. Much like our neighbors, there wasn’t the money, mindset or technology to “over-schedule” us. What was a young child to do with so much time and such a teeny toy box? How was a young child to learn without extra classes, organized schedules and those odious, forced “The Wheels on the Bus” play groups?

We had the privilege to Dream, Imagine, find ingenious ways to execute our passion and struggle through the reality of seeking out good friends without surfing through millions of possibilities. We also weren’t texting, waiting for texts, and usually feeling insulted while “palm-staring” as we crossed major highways.

My “play groups” were any kids chosen by me, from those on the block and later in school. We played punch ball every day, where I learned that despite Miss Hatchet (my gym teacher), I could actually throw a ball–for fun. We walked and talked without texting, and learned from one another how to commune, face to face, with other young humans. We learned to care, love, trust, team up, and yes, we also suffered the consequences of not just a wrong “texted” word,

but a wrong look.

As for gizmos to make us faster, smarter, more competitive? I collected ants and made them a city I learned to govern. (OK, I never said I wasn’t a controlling kid). I lined up crayons by color, making them soldiers on a mission and learned organization. I became a young semi-virtuoso but chose people over the piano, which became a career. By age 11, I volunteered to experience and loved every minute working with disadvantaged children, then as a candy striper, followed by spending years dealing with patients at the State mental hospital. And miracle of miracles, I was accepted at the Columbia University graduate school of Social Work at age twenty.

I worked in the N.Y.C. prison system, not only avoiding riots, but developing programs that changed the way the City and the State dealt with prisoners while supervising graduate students from Columbia University. (All this, thanks to my ant-dictatorship period.)

My writing career truly started when I used our old furniture to create “Marnie’s” Dream House–for Barbie. I’d get lost in “her” adventures for hours, and learned storytelling skills, skills you don’t quite get when forced to attend “Serial Writing for Toddlers.”

Later, I became a pro writer, penning the soap “As the World Turns” among books, calendars, articles, advice columns, science fiction, and of course Jewish history and humor.

After all, what can be more joyous than turning one’s dreams into reality through determination?

Dreams give us ownership of goals borne of passion and imagination. The “reward” is not some designated notion of “success,” but the journey itself. The process is its own reward, teaching children as much about themselves as getting a gold star in “Works and Plays Well with Others” by a preschool

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teacher or soccer team leader.

Dreams are minimalist. The work is done by the spirit, not by Sony, Samsung or other smartphones.

Dreams require the time and space to allow them to breathe. They should be followed, experimented with, but never be crowded out by over-scheduling.

Dreams require a “feel.” I love my computer. I don’t know if I’d have loved it quite as much without having struggled with White Out. I do read internet news, but it can’t compare with the style and smell of a newspaper that goes deeper than a sound byte.

Before you douse me in Porcelana, I believe in science and I mightily support progress. In the digital world, and other amazing thingamabobs that can make the process faster, easier and our work accessible to millions in an instant.

Yet, I can’t help wondering if, at the very young ages, the micro particles of dreaming aren’t subverted by turning to objects for the basics. A synthesizer can play dozens of instruments a child has never held, strummed, “felt,” or perhaps even heard. A smartphone can sandbag learning long division. Software allows youngsters to “design” a house without ever having “dreamt” of a simple matchstick design for a new type of bed–or mouse trap. And of course, a computer, while making fast work of a creative idea for the mature mind can be daunting, even defeating to a young mind exposed to too many ideas, groups, and people too early.

All progress starts with a dream. I wonder if all the scheduling, the speed, the machines haven’t robbed our children of the essence and time to dream, to imagine, their way.

Yes, I’m familiar with studies done proving that early access to these marvels increase reading and other skills. Rather than going backward, I’d recommend that we parents reclaim our children’s right to dream for themselves; that we allow them the time to simply “be.”

And more, at the earliest of ages, give them only the basics–the crayons, the paper, the clay, the simple doll/action figure–and let them drive their dreams, unfettered, unscheduled, until they’re ready to “plug in” the world.

If we want our children to “Stop and smell the roses” as adults, we must allow them time to “stop”–and create a true rose of their own design that they can one day upload. A

Nov. 6, 6:30 p.m., Temple Solel, 3575 Manchester Avenue, Cardiff, CA 92007 Attend Ilanit Shalev’s fused glass workshop and create your own mezuzah, candy dish or earrings & pendant. Cost is $45 for members, $55 for guests.

Visit templesolel.net for more information.

Torah on Tap with Tifereth Israel Nov. 11, 7 p.m. San Diego Brewing Company, 10450 Friars Road, San Diego, CA 92120 Join Rabbi Josh Dorsch for a discussion of text at a local brewery. Visit tiferethisrael.com for more information.

Challah Bake with Kahal Am at Chabad of Oceanside/Vista Nov. 14, 4 p.m., Chabad of Oceanside/Vista, 1930 Sunset Drive, Vista, CA 92081 Bake some challah with Kahal Am. All ingredients and instructions will be provided to participants.

Cost is $5 per person, or $18 for an entire family.

Visit kahalam.org for more information.

Musical Erev Shabbat Service in Celebration of Shabbat San Diego at Congregation Beth Israel Nov. 15, 6:15 p.m., Beth Israel, 9001 Towne Centre Drive, San Diego, CA 92122 Join Congregation Beth Israel for its Erev Shabbat service, featuring Julie Silver playing guitar. This event is free. Visit cbisd.org for more information.

Prayers and Pancakes with Congregation Beth Israel Nov. 16, 9:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m., Beth Israel, 9001 Towne Centre Drive, San Diego, CA 92122 Join Beth Israel for their Pancake Nosh with a musical Tot Shabbat service to follow. There will be songs, stories, and Shabbat. The event is free. Visit cbisd.org for more information or to RSVP.

Why be Alone? with Temple Beth Shalom Nov. 28, 4 p.m., Beth Shalom, 208 Madrona Street, Chula Vista, CA 91910 Spend Thanksgiving at Temple Beth Shalom of Chula Vista. RSVP with Arlene at (858) 344-5632.

Visit bethshalomtemple.org for more information.

Cheshvan / Kislev 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 63

EVENTS

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JOIN US IN NOVEMBER CHAMBER MUSIC SERIES OPENING CONCERT

TUE NOV 12, 7:30PM

ALISA WEILERSTEIN PLAYS BACH’S CELLO SUITES

THE BAKER-BAUM CONCERT HALL AT THE CONRAD PREBYS PERFORMING ARTS CENTER

Join us for our first Chamber Music concert of the season as Alisa Weilerstein performs what many call Johann Sebastian Bach’s greatest music achievements: the Suites for Solo Cello.

FRI NOV 15, 8PM | SUN NOV 17, 2PM

BACH, BLOCH & DON QUIXOTE

Rafael Payare, conductor Alisa Weilerstein, cello Chi-Yuan Chen, viola

COPLEY SYMPHONY HALL, JACOBS MUSIC CENTER

Cellist Alisa Weilerstein is our “narrator” in two works that seek to find meaning in life. Bloch’s Schelomo gives musical voice to the wise words of King Solomon in the Bible. R. Strauss casts the cello as the quirky Don Quixote in the famous tale of the man of La Mancha. Two works of transcendent elegance by Bach complete the evening.

Bloch was inspired by the Jewish soul and its restlessness...this resonates with me and is very much a part of my Jewish culture.”

—ALISA WEILERSTEIN

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