San Diego Jewish Journal Nov. 2015

NOVEMBER 2015 l HESHVAN • KISLEV 5776

Mitch Albom helps

BOOK FAIR

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CONTENTS November 2015

Heshvan/Kislev 5776

30

BOOK FAIR: Mitch Albom prefers to write fiction, but his journalistic instincts remain. As a result, his latest novel is a genrebending tale about creativity and the people who choose to embrace it.

44

CAMPS: San Diego’s Camp Mountain Chai experienced its first-ever evacuation due to last summer’s Lake Fire. Somehow all three sessions were able to continue, with a few lastminute adjustments.

53

FEATURE: One San Diego native is working to change the conversation around marijuana legalization, specifically for Jewish organizations. Why would he do such a thing?

57

THEATER: A fateful night, a provocative play, and the Jewish playwrights who continue to push the limits. La Jolla Playhouse premieres “Indecent.”

6 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: 28 FROM ME TO JEW:

56 FEATURE:

Re-looking at Jewish Renewal.

SDJJ reader shares the experience of honoring greatgrandparents in Germany.

62 FOOD:

32 BOOK FAIR:

66 BUSINESS:

When Jennifer Teege discovers her Nazi ancestry, her entire identity is called into question.

34 BOOK FAIR:

Roger Cohen explores his family’s complicated history.

35 BOOK FAIR:

Jonathan Kozol almost gets personal in new memoir about his father’s Alzheimer’s.

36 BOOK FAIR:

What California can learn from Israel’s water-wise tech.

38 BOOK FAIR:

Local author Marlene Wagman-Geller looks at the women behind history’s most famous men.

39 BOOK FAIR:

Jewish food and wine pairings.

43 BOOK FAIR: Schedule in brief.

46 CAMPS:

Here stands Hess Kramer.

48 CAMPS:

A personal narrative on Jewish family camp.

50 CAMPS:

Camp Ramah to open NorCal location this summer.

62

Roasted Butternut Squash Gratin.

Infertility clinic introduces counseling services to help patients navigate options.

Monthly Columns 10 The Starting Line 20 Parenting 22 Israeli Lifestyle 24 Dating 26 Aging 76 Advice Around Town 16 Our Town 18 The Scene 70 Events In Every Issue 12 Mailbag 14 What’s Up Online 64 What’s Goin’ On 67 Diversions 68 News 73 Shabbat Sheet

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www.sdjewishjournal.com November 2015 • Heshvan/Kislev 5776 PUBLISHERS • Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Natalie Jacobs CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus ASSISTANT EDITOR • Tina B. Eshel ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak ADVERTISING & OFFICE MANAGER • Ronnie Weisberg CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR Mashell Ewing CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tori Avey, Betsy Baranov, Linda Bennett, Abby Walker, David Ebenbach, Judith Fein (Senior Travel Correspondent), Michael Fox, Jennifer Garstang, Amanda Kelly, Brie Stimson, Pat Launer, Curt Leviant, Sharon Rosen Leib, Andrea Simantov, Jon Schwartz, Dave Good, Marnie McCauley ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Nancy Segal (Account Executive), Alan Moss (Palm Springs)

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SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204, San Diego, CA 92121. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2015 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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THE STARTING LINE by Natalie Jacobs

EDITOR’S LETTER editor@sdjewishjournal.com

Higher Ground

S

ome time last month I got a call from an enthusiastic young man named Brandon Blum. He was hosting a movie screening for Jewish young adults in the hopes of reinvigorating the American Israel Public Affairs Committee’s “next gen” efforts. Blum invited 70 of his friends to watch Nancy Spielberg’s documentary “Above and Beyond,” about the American pilots who fought in Israel’s war of independence.

It was the unofficial first event of an as-yetunnamed, soon-to-be-new initiative. His pitch was persuasive – if mostly because it lasted nearly 30 minutes – so I took the bait and agreed go to the screening.

Young people talking about Israel, I thought to myself during his monologue. I would like to be a fly on that wall. (I also thought: Our film critic Michael Fox reviewed that film in the February issue as part of our Jewish Film Festival coverage, and then I tried not to be offended or surprised that the gentleman caller had missed it.)

It’s something you hear all the time – Jewish organizations are grappling with the lofty and rather esoteric goal of “engaging the next generation.” Federation changed the name of its Young Adult Division to simply NextGen some time last year. The Center for Jewish Culture encourages young people to get “In the Mix” with special programming at major events like the Jewish Book Fair (our coverage of that one, by the way, starts on pg. 30). Over the High Holidays, we saw special services from Congregation Beth El’s Chai 20s and 30s group. On the fundraising side, Jewish Family Service rallies young people around a cause with their Emerging Leaders group and the annual Brushes + Forks event (details on pg. 70). The Anti-Defamation League couches its young-person’s agenda under the name Glass Leadership Institute. And that brings us, gasping for breath, back to AIPAC. Blum said he was disappointed in AIPAC’s efforts to engage his community of young Jewish professionals around

10 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

advocacy for Israel, so he was attempting to lead the charge on changing their course.

I don’t consider myself a policy wonk by any stretch, but I was looking forward to speaking with Jewish people around my own age about their opinions on Israel. So much is going on, and a lot seems to be changing. Do young people care beyond the talking points? I’ll admit, I didn’t go with a list of questions and a recorder to shove into anyone’s face in search of answers – I was still interested in the fly-on-the-wall approach. What I overheard were mostly recaps of European vacations and jokes about how everyone at the event should date each other. Wasn’t this supposed to be about Israel? I did manage to get myself into two discussions during the course of the evening – one with a retired South African couple and another with the Frenchman turned Israeli turned San Diegan who was sitting next to me in the theater. We talked about the complicated parts of living in Israel. His issue wasn’t so much with the safety threats as the brash Israeli culture.

I was feeling all the things I think a person should feel when engaged in a good conversation about Israel – conflicted, confused, curious. He and I managed to have a decent conversation, in between interruptions from the man behind us who was shouting chauvinistic smears about a picture of a girl with a “muffin top.”

As I carried on throughout the month, I continued thinking about Judaism’s next-gen problem. With young people on my mind, I was overwhelmed by the staggering numbers of my friends and acquaintances who have college degrees and minimum wage jobs, or those who work two jobs in order to afford moving out of their parents’ house. I wondered how many young people will vote in next year’s elections and what we’re going to do about unrealistic pensions for too many government employees and what will happen to my IRA if the stock market continues to nose-dive? Should we be concerned that it’s so hot in October and who’s in charge of making sure California’s economy can continue to defy its

I don’t consider myself a policy wonk by any stretch, but I was looking forward to speaking with Jewish people around my own age about their opinions on Israel. So much is going on, and a lot seems to be changing.

Do young people care beyond the talking points? geography by remaining agriculturally focused?

It’s not just Judaism – the whole world has a next-gen problem and along with a more robust understanding of Israel, young people should aim for more meaningful discussions about all aspects of this crazy messed up world that we’re slowly inheriting. First we’ll need to stop talking so much about muffin tops and man buns.

One topic that might help ease the transition: marijuana. Roy Kaufmann, a San Diego native and legalization advocate has lots to say about the issue which, he thinks, has been fueling a racist drug war for far too long. Check out the feature on pg. 53 and then discuss! Also packed into the following pages is our coverage of the San Diego Jewish Book Fair which includes personal explorations of mental illness, family lineage, Jewish cooking and magic. A

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CONGRATS EXCELLENCE IN JOURNALISM WINNERS! SDJJ would like to extend a heartfelt congratulations to our editor-inchief Natalie Jacobs and two of our longtime contributors Pat Launer and Sharon Rosen Leib on their San Diego Press Club Excellence in Journalism Awards! The ceremony took place after press time in October, so we aren’t exactly sure which SDJJ pieces were honored, but we’ll let you know in our December issue. We’re thrilled to be among a great group of fantastic journalists from throughout San Diego. Thanks for your continued support.

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204 San Diego, CA 92121

ONE-TWO PUNCH Dear Editor: I’m absolutely knocked out by the article [“Stepping Out Onto Golda’s Balcony,” Oct. 2015]. Pat [Launer] did an amazing, incredible job in capturing the spirit and essence of Golda Meir and of course, in the way she covers the subject matter. It’s one hell of a piece and I very much appreciate its forthrightness and brilliance. Her professionalism and dedication to the story is remarkable.

Thank you for picking Pat to do the article and for publishing same! All of us associated with the production are kvelling!

Jay Kolos San Diego PLEASANTLY SURPRISED Dear Editor: I am a sometimes advertiser sometimes reader of your publication. I always take a quick flip through each issue just to get some idea of what’s going on in the San Diego Jewish community.

Sometimes your publication is good but often I find it less than relevant to my personal life, the life of a struggling artist. However, the September issue was so compelling that I had to take a moment and compliment you and your team on a wonderful job. From cover to cover every aspect of this issue was spot on, congratulations on a job well done. Good luck in the new year.

James Stone Escondido IN AGREEMENT Dear Editor: Thank you, Mr. Lewis, for articulating so well what I have felt for a long time now [“Optimistic Naievte,” Oct. 2015].

I was born in Argentina, where being Jewish is much more challenging than being a Jew in America. When I moved to the USA in the late seventies, I could immediately feel the warmer atmosphere and acceptance from the

12 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

general population. Unfortunately, in the succeeding decades and in a more pronounced way in the last 20 years, I could also see how the great majority of American Jews were more aligned with leftist ideology than Israel support. Even more unfortunately, the current European and Middle East situation and the anti-Semitism by Islamist radicals is conceivably worse.

How is it possible that a group of people who have collectively the highest IQs registered by science could be so hopelessly naïve when it comes to situational reality? Have they learned nothing from their mistaken rosy perception of the Nazis as a transient ideology that would pass? Iran and its murderous, misogynistic, homophobic, antihuman rights regime is not a friend of America, and certainly not of Israel.

Why, a reasonably intelligent person would ask himself, would the Obama administration be so intent on this deal? Contrary to what they say, war is not the only other alternative.

Israel is our ancestral home, and wherever we live in the world, we should count on it as our ultimate refuge. Granted, Israel as the United States, is not perfect, but it is incredibly better than the alternatives. I was raised in one, and know the difference. If nothing else, I would think the treatment of women and gays in the radical world of Islamist radicals should tug more at purportedly liberal heartstrings, but again, ideology trumps reason.

Israel is the only place in the Middle East where women gays and people of all faiths are free and equal.

Please wake up to the danger!

Don’t be blinded by your ideology!

S. Clancy San Diego

TIME TO THRIVE Dear Editor, Thank you for the Journal. I’m enjoying some of the new articles you’ve included such as the recent piece on bee keeping and the twopart series on Jewish Prague.

In the aftermath of the High Holidays, as well as after listening to the Pope’s address to Congress, I am reflecting on the message repeated at my synagogue by my rabbi and during our Yom Kippur educational session, as well as by the head of the Catholic church. A healthy, vigorous discourse of the issues is vital to a thriving democracy. Rancor, and name-calling within our own community and our nation do not support this discourse, rather they corrode the fundamental principles of Judaism and our democratic institutions.

To survive, and better yet, to thrive, we must come together in facing three of the greatest challenges today: 1.) The very real threat posed by the arming of Iran and the rise to power of non-state actors with destructive and violent agendas 2.) The threat to Israel from within posed by the rise of the ultra-Orthodox leading to the marginalization of the reform and Conservative movements 3.) The threat posed today and increasingly in the future by a changing climate – leading to more intense droughts and water scarcity as well as other extreme weather events. The U.S. military states that these stresses contribute a major role to current and future instability worldwide, as is already evident in the Middle East, as temperatures rise both figuratively and literally.

My prayer for the new year – that we can rise above our differences and heed the words of our leaders by looking for common ground where we once looked for divides, and by seeking solutions where we once offered only objections.

Judy Berlfein Encinitas, CA

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what’s up on sdjewishjournal.com RUSSIANS: Bibi met with Putin earlier this fall to discuss how the two can keep from bombing on each-other’s toes in Syria. Netanyahu was reportedly “satisfied with the outcome” solidifying Israel’s neutrality on Russia.

VIOLENCE IN ISRAEL: Reports of continued violence keep pouring in. It started with another scuffle over access at the Temple Mount and it is growing at an alarming rate. We’re working to publish the most up-to-date information via JTA on our website as new reports come in. Keep tabs there.

BERNIE’S JUDAISM:

Ahead of the first Democratic debate in October, Bernie Sanders finally opened up about his Jewish childhood with The New Yorker. JTA reporter Ron Kampeas unpacks the implications.

14 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

A “G-d” in the Holy Land: Kanye West and wife Kim Kardashian captured headlines for a recent trip to Israel. West’s performance there, on the other hand, was unremarkable.

Rumor has it the couple is looking to purchase a home in Israel, so maybe his self-appointed holiness will try harder next time.

JEWISH PLAYBOY:

Playboy announced it will no longer feature full nudes in the print magazine. JTA seized that news opportunity to introduce us to the seven Jewish playmates who appeared in the pages over the mag’s 62 years in the nudie business.

WHAT YOU MISSED: We’ve mentioned Shabbat San Diego to you a few times over the past few months. To tie everything up with a nice bow, our Assistant Editor Tina B. Eshel gives a recap of her experience at select events from the three-day community “togetherness” initiative.

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Hear about all our web exclusives first: Like us on Facebook.com/ sandiegojewishjournal and follow us on Twitter @sdjewishjournal

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Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 15

Jonathan Valverde (center left) poses with fans at Temple Emanu-El’s tribute performance. Photos by Solange.

Music and Memories

our TOWN

BY LINDA BENNETT AND BETSY BARANOV PHOTOS BY SOLANGE, AND PROVIDED BY JNF

16 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

A lovely evening of music by Jonathan Valverde was held in honor and memory of Alice and Phil Cohn at Temple Emanu-El in August. The evening was a gift of Bob Rubenstein and Marie Raftery. Among the 300 in attendance were Pat Libby and Michael Eichler, Michael Sonduck, Lynne Thrope and Joe Parness, Bernardo and Maty Bicas, Robbie Turner, Natalie Fritz, David Gmach, Mark Braverman, Fern and Lee Siegel, Ron and Mickey Zeichick, and of course the whole Cohn clan!

The Jewish National Fund also hosted an evening of music featuring Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary. Titled “Replacing the Sound of Rockets with the Sound of Music,” the event raised money for JNF programming.

Birthdays...

Happy 100th birthday to Lillian Wasserman!

Happy 95th birthday to Lillian Mallen!

Happy 90th birthday to birthday to Elaine Moser!

Happy 91st birthday to Norma Peskin!

Happy 82nd birthday to Sandra Schneider!

Happy 80th birthday to Sue Braun!

David Phillip Akin and Anai Marcelino Garcia are happy to announce the birth of their daughter Natalye Sophia Akin born August 19.

Ellie Miriam Katz was born Sept. 18 in Los Angeles to Eileen and Andrew Katz.

Mazel tov...

Genae Gerson, daughter of Gordon anzd Marla Gerson is engaged to Michael Heimler, son of Richard Heimler of Connecticut, and Jodie Heimler of New Jersey.

Alana Epsten and Jared Ziman have become engaged! Happy parents are Mary and Jon Epsten and Helene and Alan Ziman.

Samantha Schecter and Geoffrey Lindenberg were married in September at Lake San Marcos. Happy San Diego parents are Judi and Mark Schecter.

Mazel tov to Rabbi Josef and Divi Fradkin on the Bar and Bat Mizvah of their son, Dov, and daughter, Rochelle. Proud grandparents are Rabbi Yonah and Leah Fradkin of Chabad SD, and Rabbi Mendel and Avigail Popack of South Africa.

Left to right: Frederick Schenk, Michelle McGowan, Alexis Friedman, Peter Yarrow, Lynn Schenk, Paul Friedman, Rachel Peniche • Stephen Schutz, Susan Polis Schutz, Peter Yarrow, Lauren Lizerbram, Sol Lizerbram. Photos courtesy JNF.

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the SCENE

BY EILEEN SONDAK, PHOTOS BY DEREK BERGHAUS

Symphony Gala This year’s Symphony Gala was dubbed “Passport to the World,” and as usual, it was a rip-roaring success. The celebration began early with an al fresco party on B Street, where the black-tie crowd sampled hors d’oeuvres and mingled over cocktails. Then supporters were ushered up to the University Club for a lavish dinner.

The main event – a concert in Symphony Hall featuring guest artist Yuja Wang – lived up to expectations. For her gala concert, the talented pianist played Tchaikovsky’s “Piano Concerto No. 2,” earning a standing ovation from the delighted audience for her fleet-fingered mastery of the taxing work. Maestro Jahja Ling also led the orchestra in a spirited performance of Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Capriccio Espagnol.”

After the concert, supporters returned to the University Club to continue partying over dessert and other temptations.

Among the celebrants were Barbara Bloom, Courtney and Greg Cohen, Claire and David Ellman, Phyllis and Dan Epstein, Pauline Foster, Karen and Seth Goldman, Helene and George Gould, Joan and Irwin Jacobs, Elana and Sam Karp, Barbara Katz, Karen and Warren Kessler, Sandy and Arthur Levinson, Conrad Prebys and Debbie Turner, Leah and David Rosenthal, and Valerie and Harry Cooper.

18 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

Clockwise from the top: David and Linda Slocum, Carrol Young, Riley Mixon • Martha Gilmer with Irwin and Joan Jacobs • George and Héléne Gould • Christopher Bench, June Schulman, Wesley Fata • Karen and Warren Kessler.

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10/19/15 3:54 PM

MUSINGS FROM MAMA

by Sharon Rosen Leib

PARENTING srleib@roadrunner.com

Mourning Benny

L

ast month, I walked out onto our rear deck at the end of a Saturday night family birthday party and noticed an odd frothy film floating on our pool’s surface.

Damn it, someone must’ve put one of the decaying foam surfboards in the pool, I muttered.

Those things shed nasty Styrofoam shards and were headed for the dump. Then I glanced left and saw the moon glinting off our 15-year-old dog’s harness as his dark, fur-matted, little body floated sideways.

“Oh my G-d, Benny,” I cried out.

Sensing I was already too late, I bolted down the stairs, bent down and lifted his unusually heavy, waterlogged corpse out of the pool.

My husband ran out after me. We both stood in shock, we never expected him to die this way.

Benny hated the water and had circumnavigated the pool hundreds of times without so much as dunking a paw.

“He must have had a seizure or stroke and fallen in,” I said.

“Or his dementia took over and he didn’t know where he was going,” my husband said.

A few of the party guests ran down to comfort me. My cousin, who’s 40th birthday we’d been celebrating, said sorrowfully, “It was his time.”

She spoke the undeniable truth. Dear Benny, a King Charles mutt, had been in poor health for a year due to a collapsing trachea, bouts of diarrhea, decaying teeth, cataracts that severely clouded his vision, a heart murmur and partial deafness. And yet he still had a good appetite and enjoyed walks around the neighborhood (albeit shorter and slower).

My husband and I had been grappling with the question of whether to put him down.

The last few months, his wheezing awakened us at night, as his lungs worked to get oxygen through his constricted trachea. My husband joked that Benny sounded like an old Jewish man. His incontinence increased. Then the last couple weeks of his life he started barking in the middle of the night. My husband and I took turns getting up to calm him down. We teetered precariously on the brink of exhaustion, tortured by indecision. Benny was becoming a tragic pain in the tush.

20 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

Of course I’m sad. But I’m equally disturbed about the mass suffering of people fleeing a war-torn country.

We’re fortunate to live in relative peace. While giving thanks this month we should consider what more we can do to prevent desperate people from having to watch their children drown.

All this torment was complicated by the emotionally-freighted fact that we’d inherited Benny from my mother after she died in 2007.

She had adopted him from an animal shelter in West Los Angeles for company after my father died in 2001. I referred to Benny as our transitional object – a living, breathing link to Mom and, by association, Dad. He’d been Mom’s shadow. Then he became mine. Loyal to the end, he spared me from having to make the decision to put him down.

I’ll never be able to wipe the image of him floating dead in the pool from my mental whiteboard. It’s indelibly embedded in stark black Sharpie – like the chilling scene from the 2005 film “Syriana” where Matt Damon’s character sees his young son’s dead body floating in a pool.

My husband said, “Thank G-d it wasn’t one of the kids.”

My mourning mind wandered from “Syriana” to the thousands of Syrian parents whose children have drowned while crossing treacherous waters to reach safer shores. This all put Benny’s death in perspective. Of course I’m sad. But I’m equally disturbed about the mass suffering of people fleeing a war-torn country. We’re fortunate to live in relative peace. While giving thanks this month we should consider what more we can do to prevent desperate people from having to watch their children drown. A

FYI

In Summer 2016, visitors to the San Diego Natural History Museum (theNAT) will be able to view treasures from the institution’s Research Library with a new, permanent exhibition, “Extraordinary Ideas from Ordinary People: A History of Citizen Science. ” Its 56,000-volume collection includes rare books, maps, works of art, photographic materials, and an archive of materials related to the Museum’s history of scientific exploration and research.

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LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE andreasimantov@gmail.com

Loud and Clear

I

f you remember from last month, I was headed to Johannesburg to visit my children and grandchildren for my 60th birthday – an incredibly thoughtful surprise from my wonderful husband.

Turning 60 provided him with the perfect excuse to push me onto the plane while trying to maintain a look attempting a visage that said, “Oh, I’ll barely cope without you.” (FYI, the look failed, I knew he was happy to be rid of my endless wimpering about being so far away from the ones I love so much.)

Knowing that I’m a nervous air-passenger, he presented me with a kit that included my favorite high-performance panic medication, El Al eyemask and a packet with 20 foam-rubber ear plugs.

Upon finding the ear-plugs, I roared with laughter.

I have a sensitivity to noise, any noise, and I wear ear-plugs such as these at work, in the house, when reading and when flying. Indeed, extraneous noise unnerves me. He wanted me to enjoy the visit.

Several years ago I worked as an executive administrator in a facility that provides therapies and respite for children with special needs and their families. Because my areas of expertise are in development and public relations, interaction with both therapists and charges remained primarily on a “need-to-know’’ basis.

Early in my tenure I escorted a tour group through the building and, as per the typical request, we spent additional time in the toddler nursery. It was a beautifully colored, wellappointed play-space; top-of-the-line. Several visitors knelt on the colored mats to interact with the babies, most of whom had Down Syndrome. Large video screens played the best of educational children’s television and CD players streamed toddler tunes in Hebrew and English.

This carefully designed educational zone was a hub of frenetic energy and sound. Several times I

22 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

was compelled to ask a visitor to repeat his or her question because, frankly, it was sometimes hard to hear in the maelstrom of activity. Consequently, I made a “note-to-self” to alert the upstairs office that it was too-damn NOISY downstairs.

(As a mother of six, I’ve always placed great stock in the value of quiet time and the need for children to have an opportunity to think and consider the unfolding events of their lives. And as a grandmother, I find that taking the time to listen usually results in more nachas than chitchatting my brains out. Between television’s talking-heads and gossip that plasters the frontpages of once-reputable newspapers, I can do with less yada-yada and more nada-nada.)

Thus said, upon presenting my concern, I was invited to meet with the therapy staff who shared with me some of the prevalent characteristics of Down Syndrome toddlers including easygoing countenances. Most of the children, it was explained, were later-born siblings from large families that frequently boasted seven or more children. And in a bustling household, a quiet, undemanding baby can seem like a dream-come-true for an often-harried mom.

“Noise and activities are powerful teaching tools, Andrea. They stimulate learning. At home they appear content and mommy isn’t always running over to pick them up or keep them entertained. It is our job to trigger brain and

social development. Don’t let the noise get to you; every moment is a learning opportunity.”

Enlightened and chastised now, I’ve been thinking a lot about both the quiet and noise of Jerusalem as juxtaposed to the quiet and noise of Johannesburg, where three of my daughters live. I’ve discovered that Israelis are loud, both in good spirits and bad, and often seem to be fighting. The streets of Jerusalem blare with the sounds of shouting shuk vendors, schoolchildren, street musicians and car horns that wage competitive noise battles with military helicopters, ambulance sirens and alarms of varying urgency. If noise is an educational tool then Jerusalemites must be unrivaled geniuses.

There is an eerie daytime silence in the streets of my daughters’ Johannesburg neighborhoods.

Parents speak quietly, using reason and personal example to guide their well-behaved children on their respective paths toward adulthood.

Neighbors are separated from neighbors with foot-thick walls and electric fences, barriers that also divide potential playmates who are, instead, ceremoniously brought together for supervised play-dates or swimming lessons. The silence of the night is occasionally punctuated with the tripping of a house alarm or racket of barking watchdogs.

When I visit, however, I don’t really notice the break in the calm. Johannesburg noise is child’s play when compared to the cacophony called Jerusalem. A

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PLAYING WITH MATCHES by Jennifer Garstang

DATING jenscy@gmail.com

My Final Column

T

hree years ago, a family friend told me that the San Diego Jewish Journal was looking for a new Singles Columnist.

Hey, I thought, I’m single, Jewish, and live in the San Diego area. I’m definitely qualified for that!

So, I sent in my application and writing sample: a blog article about my epic battle to remove a giant dog pee stain from my bedroom floor. The rest, as they say, is history.

I was told that my predecessor left because she no longer qualified as “single.” In short, she got married. Now, the final death-knell for my own single life is not wedding bells (sorry, Grandma).

No, for me it’s far less glamorous. Let’s just say, it’s hard to claim you’re even close to single when you qualify to be on your boyfriend’s health insurance as a domestic partner. And so, over the High Holy Days, I did some serious soul-searching and realized the time has come for me to lay down my pen (er... keyboard), at least when it comes to the subject of single life.

When I began writing this column, I assumed it would be easy. After all, we’re talking 500600 words per month on dating. What could be simpler? But it turns out that, much like dating and relationships themselves, writing an advice column on the subject is much more challenging than it at first appears. Why? Because people are ridiculously complicated and unique.

Advice that works for one person may not work for another, and what works for someone one day, may not work for them the next!

But (also like dating and relationships) just because it’s difficult and scary, doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing. And so, each month, I examined the intricacies of emotion looking for Universal Truths that I could share about the human condition…in a singles’ column. Much to my delight (and chagrin) you folks liked my overly-philosophical ramblings (you enablers!)

So now, as I close this chapter of my life, and begin the next, I want to share one final piece of overly-philosophical advice: When it comes 24 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

Let’s just say, it’s hard to claim you’re even close to single when you qualify to be on your boyfriend’s health insurance as a domestic partner. to dating, relationships, or really anything in life, the path isn’t always clear or easy, and there will always be “what ifs” and regrets. But as you move forward, always listen for what Jewish literature calls your Still, Small Voice. It’s that little voice that smiles under all the other voices shouting in our minds, which lovingly calls us on our dreck, and quietly guides us toward the choices that will bring us fulfillment.

Before I go, I also have to give a huge thank you to my family for being the best unofficial editing team a writer could ask for. They have contributed in some way to every article I’ve written – from helping me organize my thoughts, to catching type-os, to correcting my Yiddish. I also want to thank my official editors and the whole team at the San Diego Jewish Journal for giving me this delightful and unlikely forum. Lastly, thank you to all my wonderful readers, especially those who have reached out to me directly. It’s an incredible feeling to know that people enjoy what I’m creating, and to have interesting conversations with people who both agree and disagree with my point of view.

I plan to continue rambling periodically about lots of subjects on my blog at jennifergarstang.com, so please keep in touch! A

10 Years Later

Shalom Baby recently hosted a 10-year reunion with its participants from 2005. Created to provide a peer group, daily structure, new friendships, and baby-friendly events, Shalom Baby provides families young families with so many opportunities.

These members from 10 years ago wish to extend a “Thank you” to Shalom Baby, for bringing them together.

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THE ARTIST’S TORAH by David Ebenbach

SPIRITUALITY ebenbach@netzero.com

Where Everything Matters

W

e are taught that everything in the Torah is meaningful and sacred – every chapter, every word, every letter. And yet the Torah is such a busy text, so jam-packed with stories and guidance and information, that it’s easy to miss some things, or read them and then forget them. They get lost in the hubbub.

For example, the akedah – Abraham’s binding of his son Isaac – is so attention-consuming that the reader may well have trouble absorbing some of the surrounding developments. There’s Ishmael’s story, for one, which gets significant attention in its own right at first, but which seems to fade into the background during the akedah, to the point where the reader is almost surprised to see him reappear at Abraham’s death to help bury him. He is, of course, Abraham’s son just as Isaac is – but he’s overshadowed at times.

If Ishmael is overshadowed, though, Keturah is practically in full darkness. Keturah, who I literally forgot about altogether until I reread this month’s portions, portions that I’ve read many times, is Moses’ second wife. Right (for those of you who don’t know or don’t remember) Moses has another wife after Sarah (who dies at the beginning of this portion)!

And with her he has six sons! And yet I can’t remember ever hearing or reading her name in a drash, a sermon, a kavannah. Not once.

The people of the Torah themselves miss things. In this month’s portions, Isaac mistakes his son Jacob for his son Esau and ends up giving the wrong blessings to the wrong sons, changing their lives forever; Jacob gets married but doesn’t look under the veil of his bride during the ceremony and ends up marrying the wrong woman. In the era of Jacob, much trickery succeeds because of oversights. There’s so much going on here, and we all – the readers and the people we read about – end up losing track of some very important things.

Because that’s the point: these are very 26 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

important things. Maybe we sometimes forget about Ishmael, but this is a child who grows up to become, we are given to understand, fruitful, the father of twelve princes, a great nation (Gen 17:20), and as tradition suggests, the forebear of Islam. In other words, the lesser child is still great. And Keturah? Her six sons go on to found nations in their own right, including the relatively well-known Midianites. Kingdoms come from Keturah. We almost never think of her, and yet she is great. Meanwhile, all of the tricks surrounding Jacob change the future of nations.

The Torah wants us to slow down, to be attentive, reverent of the details. This approach to reading Torah can also be applied to our lived experience. The text here alerts us to the fact that the things we forget or fail to notice in the first place are as charged with sacred meaning as the things we see and remember; the only difference is that in the former cases we’ve missed an opportunity to engage with the sacred. And we’re being taught that we probably are, indeed, missing opportunities. This is one reason that Jews are supposed to say a hundred blessings per day – the idea is that all the blessing will keep us attentive.

But it’s not just about sacredness. It’s also about consequence. Less dramatic or memorable moments can have just as much consequence as the things that really stand out. This is important because it again demands heightened attention; if our unexamined actions can have a significant impact, we’d probably better examine them and make sure we’re doing the things we mean to do.

It also invites appreciation and gratitude.

Sometimes we feel inconsequential when our work or contributions receive less attention than others’ work. Or we devalue certain things we do because they make less of a ripple than other things we do. But we have to recognize that acclaim and recognition aren’t the same as significance. They aren’t the same as impact.

The Torah is asking a question, really: What if we were to adopt an approach to life in which we

noticed more things, in which we revered more things, in which we felt more responsibility for the full range of our actions, and in which we valued the small things the same way we value the big things that anyone does? How would that approach change our lives? How would we understand ourselves and our purpose? How would it shape our choices? What would it look like to live a life where everything matters? A

 This

month’s Torah portions Nov. 7: Chayei Sarah (Genesis 23:1-25:18) Nov. 14: Toldot (Genesis 25:19-28:9) Nov. 21: Vayetze (Genesis 28:10-32:2) Nov. 28: Vayishlach (Genesis 32:3-36:43)

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FROM ME TO

JEW

A Blessed Opportunity to Remember Lost Loved Ones One reader shares her recent experience honoring her great-grandparents in Kassel, Germany

PHOTOS COURTESY CLAIRE ELLMAN

BY CLAIRE ELLMAN

ABOVE: Jeanne Katz, the author’s sister, stands outside a craft store with a photo of what the location used to house - their great-grandfather’s store, in Kassel, Germany. RIGHT PAGE: The Ellman sisters above the Stolpersteine laid in honor of their family; the Catholic family who gave the Stolpersteine to the Ellman family as a gift in memory of their history.

28 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

A

person is only forgotten if his name is forgotten. Today 40,000 Stolpersteine (stumbling blocks) make sure that the Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals, and other victims of Nazi genocide can be remembered as people, by their names written in stone in the places where they were taken.

On June 16 of this year, my sister and I went to Kassel, Germany, to place our own stoplersteine in the sidewalk at no. 88 Kölnische Strasse.

We were outside of a large 1950s apartment building, but we were there to remember the beautiful home that once stood there. It belonged to our great-grandparents Georg and Therese Mendershausen. Our grandmother was raised there and our father visited there many times as a young boy until the age of 17, when he fled to the U.S.A. Georg and Therese were 84 and 82 when on Sept. 7, 1942, they were dragged from the Jewish Old Age home (which still exists) and put on the transport with the reference RSHA IVB4 no XV as “persons number 668 and 669.” They were taken to Theresienstadt with 846 other Jews from Kassel. After this, the last deportation from the town, Kassel was pronounced as “Juden frei – free of Jews.”

Just three weeks later, on Sept. 29, 1942, my great-grandparents were transported with 2,000 “age transporters” (elders), again in cattle cars, to the extermination camp Treblinka where they were gassed immediately upon arrival. Their corpses are still buried in pits at Treblinka.

For more than 50 years, Georg owned the largest shoe shop on the main street in Kassel. They traveled extensively and in March 1938 even visited family in Detroit. My father’s greatest regret was that he and his cousins did not force them to say in the United States. They were so sure nothing bad would happen to them in Germany.

The night before my sister and I laid the Stolpersteine outside of their old house in Kassel, we were invited to attend a lecture by the stone sculptor.

Gunther Demnig, a non-Jew from Cologne, Germany, had immersed himself in memorializing all people murdered in atrocities around the world. He has ended up now working fulltime on this Stolpersteine project.

As we were finalizing our trip with the volunteer committee in Kassel, we were told that someone had paid for one stolperstein on behalf of my greatgrandparents. When we arrived, we met the gracious donors, Marianne and Thomas Hartung, devout Catholics who live near Kassel. As a theology

teacher, Marianne Hartung has taken groups of 40 high school students to Poland to study the Holocaust and see the camps first hand. The family is deeply connected to Kassel’s Holocaust history.

For her 60th birthday, Marianne’s children wanted to honor that commitment so they paid for a Stolpersteine that was going to be laid soon after her birthday. They chose the location of my great-grandparents home as it was across the street from where Thomas Hartung had grown up after the war.

Like us, Marianne and Thomas were visibly moved by the short ceremony that took place when the artist dug the 10 cm x 10 cm x 10 cm holes and placed the brass plaques in the ground outside no. 88. The history of our great-grandparents’ life was read and pictures were displayed. A flautist played Shubert. Serenity prevailed. Marianne and the volunteers laid roses on the sides of the blocks and my sister laid a stone.

Marianne told us she will now bring her students here before they go to Poland so that they too can identify with someone from their city, to personalize the atrocities of the Holocaust for the students.

My sister and I then went to the location of the shoe store which had been rebuilt into a beautiful craft store. We walked around imagining Georg and Therese walking the same space day in and day out. The store was taken from him in 1936 and I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for them to pass that store daily for six long years. We have to wonder why they – well educated and wordly people – refused to realize what was happening, believing instead that their fatherland could never fail them, that they were too old to be taken away.

I hope that whenever anyone walks over one of these many Stolpersteine in Europe today that they stop for a moment to think of these people and imagine those who might have lived there, what their lives may have been like if they had survived and what the generations after them might have achieved in this world.

Let us never forget the names of those we’ve loved. A You can find out more about kassel.de/stadt/geschichte/stolpersteine/ and about my grandparents at stolpersteine.jimdo.com/biografien/georg-undtherese-mendershausen/.

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 29

BOOK FAIR |||||||||||||||

The Magic of Creativity Mitch Albom’s latest work of fiction explores fate and music in an experimental form

BY NATALIE JACOBS

M

usic is cocky, prideful and intuitive. It’s there when you’re born, floating around for you to pull out of the air in handfuls; and music is there when you die, waiting to collect the talent that you’re leaving behind. At least that’s how Mitch Albom sees it. In his new novel, “The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto,” music is the omniscient narrator and he’s a fickle character with a very distinct voice.

When he set out to write the book, Albom labored on music’s tone.

“I thought that was very important to establish early on,” he told me over the phone one afternoon as he was driving to a speaking engagement at a university on the east coast, “that the story is going to be told not by a person, not by an invisible narrator that everything is he and he and she and she. I wanted people to know that music was a character in the book itself, so I worked on that until I could get the feel of how music would sound if music could speak.”

It took a couple years to complete the book which starts at Frankie Presto’s funeral.

Music is there to collect his talent, but so are many other famous, real-life musicians attending this fictional character’s surprise funeral in Spain. Once the ending is vaguely established – the reader knows that Frankie Presto, a prolific guitar player, is dead but it’s unclear how he died or why the reader should care just yet – Albom employs music to tell the story of Frankie Presto’s life from the beginning.

“When I came to telling Frankie’s story, I said well, it’s going to be such a compelling story and so big and so epic that I better just begin at the beginning. Because you’ll never be able to follow it if you don’t start with where he’s born,” Albom says.

The book carries on like that, flashing between past and present until, in the very last pages, Frankie’s full story is finally told.

Mitch Albom himself is a musician but unlike his character Frankie Presto, Albom’s instrument is piano. He dedicates the book to his Uncle Mike.

“I think everybody in music has somebody who first comes along who they hear and they say I want to sound like that and for me that was my uncle.”

Knowing that Albom is a musician adds a personal layer to the tale he’s crafted. It’s an exploration of what creativity means to the individuals who embrace it.

During our interview, Albom points to a specific line in the book where music says “all sad roads lead back to me for musicians. Whenever a musician is upset or is alone, or lonely, they’ll always come back to me because I won’t desert them.”

“A lot of that,” Albom explains, “comes from my own experiences and relationship with music.”

Frankie Presto leads a magical life but part of the magic of Albom’s novel is that it blends

30 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

With this infusion of other people’s actual voices, the book presents a wonderful array of characters, each so distinct in their tones and interactions with Frankie Presto, who himself never really says much.

reality with fiction rather seamlessly. At the funeral, in the book’s present tense, music encounters all of these people, real people, from Frankie’s fictional past. And in the re-telling of Frankie’s life, Albom again shares stories of Frankie’s encounters with familiar musicians.

People like Tony Bennett, country wildman Hank Williams, Django Reinhardt, Winston Marsalis (a French jazzman), and crooner Lyle Lovett all make appearances at various times in the book.

“I deliberately asked those people if they would let me write of them,” Albom says. The living ones anyway.

“I created all of their stories, obviously,” he continues. “But I know how Tony Bennett speaks because he’s a friend of mine. I know how [pop singer] Darlene Love speaks. … I know how Roger McGuinn [of The Byrds] speaks. These are all people who are in my life in some way … so I asked them if they would let me create these stories. Then I sent [the sections] to them and they read them and they all just loved it. They really liked being fictionalized. Apparently that’s something like a roller coaster, everybody seems to enjoy it. They all made little suggestions like ‘well, I would have done this,’ or ‘I could have been here,’ so if you were to check the book factually, you would find that almost all of it is dead-on accurate from the years to the months to even some of the stuff that doesn’t have to be.”

With this infusion of other people’s actual voices, the book presents a wonderful array of characters, each so distinct in their tones and interactions with Frankie Presto, who himself never really says much.

In that sense, the book reads like a documentary with flashbacks and talking heads. But the novel form allows for a much more robust and colorful retelling of a lifetime than you get with say, the Jimi Hendrix, Amy Winehouse or Kurt Cobain films that are out now.

“There’s a point where Roger McGuinn introduced Frankie to The Beatles,” Albom says, speaking of a party scene that appears late in the novel. “Well it was a real party and [Roger McGuinn] was really there and everybody he mentions was really there. I just inserted Frankie into that story. Otherwise, everything else is true. That was fun because I used my reporter’s instinct and training to interview these guys and get a lot of details about them, and then fictionalize them.”

Albom started out in writing as a sports journalist. He may be best known for his nonfiction work “Tuesdays with Morrie,” published in 1997, but he says he enjoys fiction more than nonfiction.

“It’s more creatively satisfying and less rigid. But the part of me that was raised in journalism always is attracted to a true story. I don’t think I’ll ever lose that. There’s something about a true story that makes you shake your head and go I can’t believe that that’s true.

“But to sustain that over a whole book is tough,” he continues.

“That’s probably why of the, I don’t know how many books I’ve written since ‘Tuesdays with Morrie,’ there’s been six or seven, but only two of them were nonfiction, the rest were novels. It’s more fun to play in the sandbox of creativity.”

It is obvious that Albom had fun writing “The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto.” It is impossible not to like Frankie, a character to whom life sort of just happens. The book takes liberties with mystical elements that, if you think about them too hard, will seem cheesy.

And it relies heavily on foreshadowing that will leave readers with a slight feeling of having been duped by the end of the epic. But taken as a whole, the novel is an emotional ride that manages to successfully oscillate between heartwarming and heartwrenching. “Frankie Presto” offers interesting interpretations of creativity, where it comes from and how to live a life in its honor. A Like “The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto,” we’ve begun our coverage of this year’s San Diego Jewish Book Fair at the end – Mitch Albom is the closing act on Nov. 16 at 7:30 p.m. He will speak about “The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto” at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center. Cost of admission includes a copy of the book.

Now that we’ve established the ending, continue on for a sampling of more books on offer throughout this year’s 21st Annual Book Fair. Times, locations and costs vary by event.

Find all those details at sdcjc.org/sdjbf/.

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 31

BOOK FAIR |||||||||||||||

The Complications with the Truth

Powerful new memoir “My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me” invites readers to sit with an uncomfortable reality

BY KELI GAGEN

J

ennifer Teege is the descendant of a Nazi.

Long before she knew this, her identity was tied to being a bi-racial woman and transracial adoptee (with adoptive parents from a different race than her own). Growing up, she was different from her adoptive family, in looks and disposition.

She longed to find similarities between herself and her biological family, but after the discovery of her family’s not-so-distant Nazi history, she can’t look at a picture of the infamous Amon Goeth, her grandfather, without seeing her own chin. This desire to feel connected to her biological family left Teege wondering if she, too, was a monster.

Like all of us, Teege had no choice about who gave her life. But her lineage is more complicated than most. It is this discovery and her journey toward establishing a new identity that is the subject of her startlingly-titled memoir, “My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me.” Themes of family, identity, race and religion are dealt with through two perspectives: Jennifer Teege guides readers through her personal emotional journey, while journalist Nikola Sellmair provides an outsider’s investigative perspective on a challenging situation.

Born in the 1970s to a Nigerian father and German mother, Teege spent the first three years of her life in a German orphanage where her emotionally distant mother, Monika, and beloved maternal grandmother, Irene, visited sporadically.

At the age of three, Teege moved in with a white foster family. When they officially adopted her four years later, contact with her biological mother and grandmother ceased. The special closeness Teege felt to her grandmother was absent from her relationship with her mom, but the loss of both weighed heavy on young Teege.

At age 38, a memoir catches Teege’s eye at the library. It has her biological mother’s name in the subtitle. A quick scan of “I Have to Love my Father, Don’t I?” is all she needs to splinter her life forever: Her biological grandfather was the 32 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

notorious Nazi concentration camp commandant, Amon Goeth.

Teege’s mind jumps to “Schindler’s List,” the most immediate context she has for this discovery; she remembers Ralph Fiennes as a sadistic monster and she panics. In the subsequent pages of her own memoir, Teege allows readers to follow along as she tries to figure out what this new information means to her already-complicated personal identity. She alternates between confident declarations about her relation to her family history and difficult questions that fill her with self-doubt. This push and pull lends a relatable authenticity to the pages.

“If it hadn’t been for her,” Teege writes of her grandmother, “maybe discovering Amon Goeth in my family tree wouldn’t have been such a shock.”

It’s widely known in Teege’s biological family that her grandmother Irene didn’t just conceive her mother Monika with Amon Goeth, but that she was madly in love with him. Teege openly grapples with the fact that her beloved grandmother also loved a mass murderer. Teege brings readers along as she visits the home they once shared at the death camp Płaszów. She also unpacks her complex sentiments toward her grandmother with a welcome emotional honesty.

Further complicating Teege’s personal narrative is her close relationship with Israel. She attended college there, and many of her closest friends are second-generation Israeli Jews. In the past, the color of her skin helped camouflage her German nationality and thus protect her from the shame associated with being German in Israel in the 1980s and ’90s. When she returns to Israel to confide in her friends about her newly discovered identity, she’s not sure if the friendships can survive. She puts off telling them because she’s tormented by the possibility that her association with a man who may have personally murdered her friends’ relatives will taint their bond.

The dual perspectives of “My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me” add dynamism to the story.

The reader is able to experience Teege’s search for meaning in as close to real-time as possible, while the journalist Sellmair takes on the burden of providing context. This duality exposes the nuances of Teege’s feelings. There is a pureness to this approach that enables the reader to experience Teege’s discovery with her.

“How much of Amon Goeth do I have in me?” she asks. “How much of Amon Goeth does each of us have in us? I think we all have a bit of him in us. To believe that I have more than others would be to think like a Nazi – to believe in the power of blood.”

Although she makes this declaration, her internal conflict is palpable as she spends the pages of the book – and her life – both comparing and trying to distance herself from her history.

Because Amon Goeth was so notorious, Teege has the unique opportunity to learn about him through official sources. She learns about her mother and grandmothers’ feelings through books, articles, and even a documentary. She observes her grandmother make excuses for Amon Goeth in several interviews. She watches as she denies witnessing him murder thousands of Jewish people in uniquely perverse ways. She has to compare her own few and fuzzy, yet prized, memories to the records she finds.

Teege shares her story with no expectations. She looks at the way other descendants have let their ancestry dictate their lives, even generations later, and resists the urge to do the same. She allows us to simply sit in the complication of her life. Her proclamations are not concrete, and she does not mean for them to be. A Jennifer Teege will speak about her memoir “My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me” at the Jewish Book Fair, JCC location on Nov. 15 at 7:30 p.m.

Tickets include screening of “Inheritance” beginning at 5:30 p.m.

Consider Establishing an Endowment Fund to Support the Jewish Community This forever fund will provide for your favorite synagogue, agency and/or day school for generations to come.

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Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 33

BOOK FAIR |||||||||||||||

Wandering Through “Human Street”

BY SHARON ROSEN LEIB

N

ew York Times’ columnist Roger Cohen’s book “The Girl from Human Street: Ghosts of Memory in a Jewish Family” is a curious book. Cohen, a gifted writer with a probing mind, takes on a multiplicity of issues in this alternately affecting and disappointing work. The book chronicles Cohen’s family’s departure from Lithuania in the late 19th century and charts their journey to the Golden Land of South Africa. As apartheid simmers to a boil in the mid-20th century, most of Cohen’s extended family emigrates to England, Australia, Israel and the United States.

As his family scatters, so does some of Cohen’s focus. He describes his parents’ formative years in South Africa, particularly their education and social status, with fascinating detail. He writes poignantly about his mother June’s battle with bipolar disorder after his nuclear family arrives in England. She is the girl from Human Street. Does Cohen intend her to be a struggling everywoman?

Unclear, all the way to the end.

For those of us largely ignorant about the South African Jewish experience, his insights prove 34 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

revelatory. He tellingly writes of his mother’s parents, who enjoyed the fruits of a successful merchant family, “South Africa was good to them.

They never had to boil an egg.”

Their bon vivant lifestyle, enabled by a black underclass supplying cheap labor in the form of cooks, drivers and nannies, created a cossetted reality. His mother’s parents lacked the depth of perception to fathom the severity of their daughter’s mental illness and the toll it took on their grandchildren.

Cohen also meditates extensively on antiSemitism – its many manifestations and intractability. The book contains a lengthy description of the Holocaust horrors that transpired in his ancestors’ Lithuanian shtetls – babies torn from their mother’s wombs and shot on the spot, thousands rounded up, stripped naked, executed and dumped into pits. However, both sides of his family fled Lithuania decades before these events occurred. Instead, Cohen illustrates his point with the story of George Gordimer, a man who survived the Lithuanian ghetto roundup as a child. How did Gordimer make it into a book about Cohen’s family? While moving, his story seems out of place here.

More compelling in this context are Cohen’s personal relationship to Judaism and his own brushes with anti-Semitism. Cohen writes, “I am not a religious Jew – I scarcely practice Judaism; but nor, I discovered, is Jewishness something you choose ... Jewishness is chosen for you – history demonstrates that.”

He describes his experiences with polite antiSemitism and discrimination at his private school in London. As a non-Christian, he was ineligible for a merit award. He always felt out of place and less accepted than his peers in this privileged Anglican world.

Persistent anti-Semitism of all varieties stokes Cohen’s belief in the Zionist mission – to create an independent nation where Jews have the capacity for self-determination and the ability to defend themselves.

“The Jewish experience over millennia demonstrates that no amount of scholarly questing, of religious devotion, of determined emancipation,

or of proud patriotism and service could provide security.”

However, he strongly objects to Israel’s tolerance of the religious right and its perpetuation of West Bank settlements. While Cohen states the current reality of occupation doesn’t rise to the level of South African apartheid, he sees uncomfortable parallels in Israel’s treatment of the Palestinians.

His foray into Israeli political discourse seems off track and out of place here. How does this mesh with his moving account of his mother’s two suicide attempts?

Books needn’t be pigeonholed into restrictive categories. Yet if an author splashes too much paint on the canvas, he risks losing the reader in a pastiche of stories, themes and impressions. Is “The Girl from Human Street” meant to be a memoir?

If so, Cohen reveals little about his personal life and emotional landscape. If he wants readers to empathize deeply with his family members, we need to know more about him, to view these characters through the prism of his own growth and personal arc. Ironically, he writes about how his father Sydney became distant from the family as Cohen and his sister grew. Cohen seems to have inherited his father’s propensity for distancing himself, at least when it comes to forging deep intimacy with his readers.

Is it really a close family history? Not entirely, since Cohen strays far afield describing the suicide of Rena, a distant Israeli cousin he barely knew (mysteriously, he devotes a lot of ink to her – is she an allegory? If so, for what?) If Cohen is striving to create a personal history relevant to the wider Jewish world, why does he risk alienating a large part of this world with his left-leaning views on Israeli politics, especially as a non-Israeli?

Ultimately, “The Girl from Human Street” makes for an interesting read – but it could have been so much more if Cohen had dug deeper. And therein lies the disappointment – he left this reader a bit cold by his unwillingness to share more of what warms his heart. A

Catch Roger Cohen speak about “The Girl from Human Street” on Nov. 8 at 4 p.m. Cost is $8.50 for JCC members and $10.50 for nonmembers.

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BOOK FAIR

Of Memories and Memoirs

Wondering for whom Jonathan Kozol’s book was really written

BY NATALIE JACOBS

I

t has been said by many writers that they write in order to understand the world as they’re living through it. That must be true for Jonathan Kozol, a writer and National Book Award winner who has chronicled many aspects of his life – mainly his work as a teacher in struggling schools – in several nonfiction books. Therefore, I can imagine when his father began showing signs of dementia, was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, subsequently moved into a nursing home and eventually relocated back home to his wife, with countless hospital visits and minor tragedies to overcome along the 14-year journey, Kozol turned to writing to unpack his complicated feelings.

It is unclear at what point, exactly, Kozol began to document his father’s slow decline. But he admits in the forward to the resulting book “The Theft of Memory: Losing My Father One Day at a Time,” that his own memories and the sequence of events as he was living through them “don’t always fit together perfectly.” He says this to excuse the fact that the book doesn’t exactly follow a sequence.

The difficult part about the book isn’t that it jumps around in time, it’s that it’s unclear for whom the book was written, and what it is intending to do. In his note to the reader, Kozol first-off explains that the book is about his father, Harry Kozol, a Harvard-trained doctor who specialized in diagnosing neurological and psychiatric illnesses and lived to be 102. The book is about him, in the sense that Jonathan gives careful detail about Harry’s immigrant history, how he came to settle on studying neuroscience, the many renown patients he served over the years (including playwright Eugene O’Neill), and the various indecencies he was subjected to as an aging Alzheimer’s patient. But the book is also about Jonathan, except that it tries at every

turn to avoid admitting that. This keeps the book from being entirely effective in any regard.

“The Theft of Memory” stops short of being a biography about an interesting doctor, and it runs around the emotion and self-analysis needed to be a memoir about the author. Instead, it reads like a 271-page obituary. There are moments of insight, like when Jonathan recalls a conversation with a young doctor about her own struggles with the geriatric care offered to her grandmother.

The conversation becomes about the economic worthiness of the elderly, but Jonathan tip-toes around any personal philosophical exploration in his telling of the moral dilemma that brewed inside him.

When he comes to the San Diego Jewish Book Fair on Nov. 13 at noon, a panel discussion on Alzheimer’s will commense. Perhaps that is where readers will find the depth that the book leaves us craving. A

LOCAL AUTHOR BOOK SIGNINGS All local signings take place at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center THURSDAY, NOV. 12 @ 1 P.M. Alan Mindel, “The B Team” Nancy Sandweiss, “Love Remains: Collected Poems” FRIDAY, NOV. 13 @ 11 A.M. Paula Marguilles, “Favorite Daughter, Part One” Don Harrison, “Schlepping Through the American West: There is a Jewish Story Everywhere” Stan Schatt, “Daniel Silva: A Reader’s Guide”

SUNDAY, NOV. 15 @ 11 A.M. Lee Silber, “The Homeless Hero” David Sattler, “The Miracle of Life at La Jolla Cove” Mike Gellman, “Pipe Dreams: 7 Pipelines of Career Success” FAMILY DAY, ALSO AT 11 A.M. Nancy Gordon, “Pink, The 3-Legged Dog Who Lost Her Leg and Found Her Courage” Jerry Altman, “Don’t Stick Sticks Up Your Nose! Don’t Stuff Stuff in Your Ear” Marcia Berneger, “Buster the Little Garbage Truck” Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 35

BOOK FAIR |||||||||||||||

Learning Israel’s Lessons in a Time of Drought “Let There Be Water”

BY TINA B. ESHEL

A

s Californians look forward to a fourth straight year of drought, with water reserves in the state shrinking to record lows, water conservation is top-of-mind for most West Coast residents. We aren’t alone.

Globally, more than one billion people face water shortages and even more live in areas where water is more expensive than they can afford. Water use is growing even faster than our exploding population; so what is a thirsty region to do?

Seth M. Siegel, author of the New York Times’ bestselling book “Let There Be Water: Israel’s Solution for a Water-starved World,” (Thomas Dunne, September 2015), shows how, “in remarkable defiance of this water emergency stands Israel. Despite its unforgiving terrain, rapid population growth, and low annual rainfall, Israel is not only fending off a water crisis: it boasts a water surplus.”

Siegel’s “Let There Be Water” is an engaging, powerful tome that outlines Israel’s innovations at all levels of water science and engineering, and use and distribution. Furthermore, the book extrapolates from Israel’s experience to explain just what drought-stricken areas such as California can do to address its own not-so-unique problems.

Israel, Siegel writes, is the world’s leader in drip irrigation (an Israel invention) with native companies dominating the industry worldwide and annual sales now reaching more than $2.5 billion.

From seeds that can grow in brackish water to desalination to turning waste water into potable water, Israel’s “water mastery [has been] decades in the making.”

“Let There Be Water” reveals “how the rest of the world can adopt the measures developed in Israel to stay ahead of the looming global water crisis.”

The Way Forward Paramount to a water-wise future is determining what our needs will be in terms of agriculture, household and industry and other uses, Siegel explains in a rapid voice, passionately in command of this topic. We are speaking on the phone and he is consummately patient each time I ask him to elaborate or slow down.

36 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

“In terms of substance, it can be done in three different ways. California has to get a handle on its use of underground waters and aquifers,” and while he extols the recent California legislation regulating ground water extraction from underground aquifers for agricultural use in he Central Valley, Siegel says still more needs to be done.

Seigel points to the needs for “a more coherent

agriculture policy,” and a more “coherent sense of pricing, so everyone has an equal incentive for saving water.”

We should also consider what crops are being grown compared to which ones make sense to atcually grow, he says, raising the question of exporting water-rich produce out of the state in the midst of a drought.

“Although it’s true that household conservation is important, people lose sight of the fact that what is needed most is long-range planning,” and the very best use of the water available.

“Why should the burden [only] be on the consumer?” Siegel, who is an advocate of using treated wastewater, asks. “Why treat the water and

dump into the pacific? In the time of drought, why not make use of treated sewage and instead of dumping it, use it for agriculture?”

But Siegel recognizes these changes won’t happen over night.

“There’s a yuck factor that keeps people from doing that…but there’s so many needs for gardening, landscaping…we are just being sloppy and not making use of [treated wastewater].”

Time is of the essence and Israel has decades on us, which means we can learn from their leadership in this regard.

“You can’t build the infrastructure you need in time for THIS drought,” Siegel says.

“Consider what Israel does every day in pursuit of clean, safe, available-anytime water.”

He lists 16 technologies, including desalination (and the Carlsbad desalination plant which is being built and operated by an Israeli company), the capture and use of rainwater, the repair and maintenance of infrastructure and transformation of agriculture. But it’s the attitude of the citizenry that can create the change we want, Siegel proposes at the book’s end.

The solution is bigger than inventions “While Israel has invented many of the solutions that have changed the world of water, what sets the country apart isn’t the technology – all of which is known and available to all – but rather the extent to which it has adopted these techniques.

Throughout Israel, one can find posters exhorting citizens and visitors to make every drop count. It is that mindset that may be the most important solution for a water-starved world.”

It’s a book worth reading, as refreshing as the clearest glass of cool water on a hot day. A Seth Siegel will discuss “Let There be Water: Israel’s Solution for a Water-Starved World,” at the Jewish Book Fair on Wednesday, Nov. 11 at 7:30 p.m. with a copy of the book included in the price of admission.

Siegel will also return to San Diego in December for the Jewish National Fund’s Water Summit, to be held Dec. 8-10. Contact Amy Hart for more information, ahart@jnf.org.

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 37

BOOK FAIR |||||||||||||||

Herstory

An interview with the author of a new book that looks at the women behind iconic men of history

BY TINA B. ESHEL

O

n the back cover of Marlene WagmanGeller’s new book, “Behind Every Great Man: The Forgotten Women Behind the World’s Famous and Infamous,” (Sourcebooks, 2015) the author asks, “Who said men get to monopolize the globe?” Indeed, in her witty and readable prose, Wagman-Geller answers that question with resounding insight and storytelling, producing a tome that is literally the “herstory” of 40 women behind the men who shaped our world.

I spoke with Wagman-Geller, who lives in San Diego and teaches English at a high school in National City, by phone and email.

San Diego Jewish Journal: The women whose lives you highlight had some very stark experiences. Their stories are far from happy endings. What drew you to tell their stories in particular?

Wagman-Geller: My criteria for profiling the women was not dependent on the starkness of their stores although that tended to be a common denominator. The criteria for inclusion was threefold: a) The women had to be married to or in a relationship with an iconoclastic man; b) She had to be unknown, obliterated by her alpha male’s giant shadow; c) She had to have had a fascinating, albeit unknown life.

SDJJ: What lessons can we learn from these women’s stories, lessons in particular that we have yet to learn?

W-G: History has traditionally been told by the male’s perspective. “Behind Every Great Man” lets the unknown spouses step from the shadows. In the process, not only are their fascinating biographies revealed, their stories cast a new spotlight on their famous “better” halves.

38 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

SDJJ: What should modern women and men make of the struggles of these historical figures of the past?

W-G: I think the message for our contemporaries is to let the famous scrimp on spousal credit. It takes a village....

SDJJ: What is it about greatness that seems to attract a disposition towards what, at best, is a desire to wield power and at worst, cruelty? What is it that kept these women in these relationships relegated to the shadows and sidelines?

W-G: I think greatness tends to walk hand-in-hand with cruelty because acclaim often accompanies narcissism. When [that] predominates it oftentimes fails to take in the needs of others.

The women profiled can indeed serve as poster wives of the “stand-by-your man” [maxim]. They did so because they were inextricably bound to the destinies of the great men of history.

What I would love readers to walk away with is a revisionist perspective of the famous men of history. Because of the eras in which they lived, or because of their larger-than-life egos, they tended to dominate the stage. The book is a nod to Abigail Adams’ plea to her presidential husband, “Remember the ladies.”

SDJJ: Any favorite stories or surprises as you were researching for the book?

W-G: One surprising episode is the one on Einstein. Prior to doing research on his first wife, I’d always thought of him as a grandfather type, sort of beloved Princeton professor. He was married to a Serbian girl when he was a young man, and she was brilliant in her own right.

They had gone to school together in the Swiss

version if MIT. She was only the fifth woman to be admitted into that university. And, so she was a brilliant physicist. They ended up having two children together. Letters were found last year in Hebrew University in Jerusalem, and they said, “when our great theory of relativity…”

So the question is, how much did his first wife contribute to his endeavors?

Basically, he got tired of her and he eventually fell in love with his first cousin, and when the Nazis came into power, he went to America and became the Princeton professor. He basically abandoned his first wife and two sons with her.

One son, his younger son, was a hopeless schizophrenic. Einstein never saw his son for 20, 30 years, again. His wife was left in poverty, with a hopelessly mentally ill son.

The second son became a professor at Berkeley.

His son resented he took off to America. When asked what it was like being Einstein’s son, he said, “The only scientific experiment my father ever gave up on was me.” A Marlene Wagman-Geller will speak at the Jewish Book Fair on Sunday, Nov. 15 at 2 p.m. at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center. This lecture is free.

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BOOK FAIR

A Culinary Journey Through Food and Wine Husband-wife team brings “The Covenant Kitchen”

INTRODUCTION BY TINA B. ESHEL, RECIPE BY JEFF AND JODIE MORGAN

slaw and spiced potato salad. This dish is also ideal for parties, because you can prepare everything well in advance and then be free to socialize with guests.

In your glass, pour any fruity red wine such as Zinfandel, Syrah, Grenache, or Pinot Noir.

Chilled rosé would also make an excellent accompaniment.

I

nspired by their time in France and encouraged by the decision to raise the bar on kosher wines produced in California, husband and wife co-proprietors of Covenant Winery, Jeff and Jodie Morgan, wrote a cookbook fit for a renaissance. After culinary journeys through various cultures, they moved to California 20 years ago and added Asian and Mexican flavors to their repertoire of recipes. Now, these creations are included in their cookbook, “The Covenant Kitchen: Food and Wine for the New Jewish Table” (Random House, 2015).

This is a book to savor – meant to be smudged with olive oil and fingerprints as you try out the recipes. In advance of their talk at the North County Hub on Nov. 9 at 1 p.m., here is one recipe to get your mouth watering: Korean-Style Flanken with Asian Slaw and Red Potato Salad Flanken are strips of beef cut lengthwise across the short rib bones. Korean-style flanken is sliced thinner than the Jewish version, then marinated and grilled. The Korean cut can be found in most supermarkets, but you may have to look for Korean-style “short ribs,” not flanken. Or, just ask your kosher butcher to slice his flanken into ¼-to ½-inch-thick slices.

Because it is sliced so thin, Korean-style flanken is very tender and cooks quickly. These juicy ribs have a nutty, smoky edge and an almost fruity quality that teams up well with the tangy Asian

ALL INGREDIENTS NEEDED: 2 tablespoons brown sugar 12 Korean-style beef ribs (about 2½ pounds) ¼ cup soy sauce or tamari ¼ cup rice vinegar ¼ cup toasted sesame oil 3 tablespoons sesame chili oil 3 cloves garlic, minced 1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger 4 green onions (white parts only), cut into ¼-inchthick rounds Asian coleslaw 2 tablespoons soy sauce or tamari 2 tablespoons rice vinegar ¼ cup toasted sesame oil 1 tablespoon sesame chili oil Juice of 1 lime 1 clove garlic, minced 1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger 1 head green cabbage, halved and sliced into thin ribbons 2 carrots, grated 6 green onions (white and light-green parts only), cut into thin rounds ½ cup minced fresh cilantro 2 pounds small red potatoes, halved ¼ cup extra virgin olive oil 1 tablespoon red or white wine vinegar 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard 1 clove garlic, minced 1 teaspoon dried thyme 1/8 teaspoon chipotle pepper flakes (optional) Salt and freshly ground pepper ½ cup diced red bell pepper 6 green onions (white parts only), cut into thin rounds

Prepare the flanken: Sprinkle brown sugar on both sides of the beef strips and set aside. In a glass or nonreactive bowl, whisk together the soy sauce, vinegar, both sesame oils, garlic, ginger, and green onions. Place the meat in a large zip-seal plastic bag. Pour the marinade over the meat and gently squeeze the bag to expel any excess air. Seal the bag and turn it over several times to cover all the meat with the marinade. Place the bag on a plate (in case it leaks) and refrigerate for 6 to 8 hours, flipping the bag every 2 hours or so.

While the meat is still marinating, make the coleslaw: In small glass bowl, whisk together the soy sauce, vinegar, both sesame oils, lime juice, garlic, and ginger. Place the sliced cabbage, carrots, and green onions in a large bowl. Pour the dressing over the cabbage mixture and toss gently. Add the cilantro and toss again.

Make the potato salad: In a large pot, bring 3 to 4 inches of water to a boil over high heat.

Add the potatoes, reduce the heat to a gentle boil, and simmer until the potatoes are tender enough to be poked easily with a fork, about 20 minutes.

Drain the potatoes in a colander and rinse with cold water. Let the potatoes dry thoroughly in the colander.

While the potatoes are cooking, prepare their dressing. In a large bowl, whisk together the olive oil, vinegar, mustard, and garlic. Add the thyme, chipotle pepper flakes (if using), and 1/8 teaspoon salt and whisk again.

Add the potatoes and bell peppers to the bowl and toss gently to coat evenly. Season with salt and black pepper to taste. Sprinkle the green onions on top as garnish. Set aside or refrigerate until ready to serve. (As with the slaw, the potato salad is best at room temperature.)

Preheat the grill. Remove the meat from the marinade and place directly onto the grill grates.

Cook about 2 minutes per side for medium-rare.

Serve hot off the grill with the slaw and potato salad on the side. A

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 39

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Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 43

It Takes a Village Camp Mountain Chai experiences first-ever evaucation during camp session, manages to keep camp on track

BY NATALIE JACOBS

E

arly in the summer, a fire burned near Big Bear Lake in the San Bernardino National Forest. It was first reported on June 17, and by early that evening flames had overtaken 1,000 acres. San Diego’s Camp Mountain Chai (CMC) staff had just finished up their first week of training in advance of the camp’s first session, which was scheduled to begin on June 21. As they settled into their camping orientation session at an outdoor site slightly more than a mile down Route 38 from Camp Mountain Chai, the camp’s Director Steve Gerard was keeping a close eye on the flames. When the sun set, the mountain glowed bright orange.

“At about 7:45, 8 o’clock we decided we’re out of here, this is not safe,” Gerard says.

He placed a call to Rabbi Sherwood of Redland’s Temple Emanu-El, who had been at camp that morning to train a new cantor.

“I said Rabbi, we’re out, and we need a place to sleep for the night,” Gerard remembers. “He said you better come right down here, I’ll go meet you at the synagogue and you guys will stay in the social hall for the evening.”

Camp Mountain Chai had evacuation plans, but they never had to use them up until this point.

As for plans to relocate the camp, they were in completely uncharted waters. So they proceeded to put one foot in front of the other, with the belief that everything would work out, somehow.

A caravan of 86 camp staff made their way cautiously down the mountain. By the time they woke up at Temple Emanu-El the next morning, what had come to be known as the Lake Fire had burned 9,000 acres. According to the National Forest Service’s Incident Information System, the Lake Fire would go on to burn more than 31,000 acres. Although in need of serious renovations as a result of smoke damage, Camp Mountain Chai was untouched by the flames.

But the fired blazed heaviest during those days leading up to CMC’s June 21 opening day, so Gerard and Executive Director Zim Zimmerman, along with an army of board members and helpful hands from throughout the community, went to 44 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

work figuring out how to host camp in a new location. Meanwhile, camp staff made their way back to San Diego.

While coordinating her own 1,000-plus students on the JCC campus for Camp Jaycee (their summer day camp), director Sandy Siperstein coordinated with CMC’s Gerard to find space for the displaced camp staff at the La Jolla facility.

CMC staff spent a day and a half at the JCC to shower and take some deep breaths of cleaner air.

Meanwhile, Gerard joined Zimmerman and a few others at the Camp offices on Murphy Canyon Road to search for a camp location anywhere in California with an immediate opening for the next two weeks. Eventually, they found a Girl Scout camp in Idyllwild.

“By some type of miraculous scheduling, they didn’t start their camp until Sunday, July 5 in the afternoon. Our first session ended Sunday, July 5 in the morning. So it worked, they took us in,” Gerard explains.

But the camp hadn’t been opened since its sessions the previous year, and all of Camp Mountain Chai’s supplies were stuck behind a wall of firefighters on a burning mountain.

Maintenance and kitchen staff were the first to arrive at the new location. Supplies were overnighted from various vendors. Medical staff arrived early to the Idyllwild location to set up the medical center.

Back in San Diego, board members opened up their homes for camp staff to help take their minds off the excitement of evacuating and rearranging carefully orchestrated camp plans. Calls were placed to Federation and an emergency donation fund was established, which raised a few thousand dollars for supplies in the course of a weekend.

Temple Solel offered their parking lot for staffers to meet the morning of take-off to Idyllwild. And Zimmerman and a small group of board members went to work on the insurance claims.

Bunks were reassigned, schedules upended, and amidst the chaos, campers were loaded onto busses the morning of June 21 to make their way to the new camp.

“Around day five it really started to settle down and feel that we could understand the facility more. It started to become home a little bit more,” Gerard says. “By the second week, the kids were really settled in. They were really enjoying themselves and a lot of them ended up saying they learned camp isn’t where it is, it’s who it’s with.”

The change in location was felt most acutely by the 10th graders, some of whom had been attending Camp Mountain Chai for years. Because of their age, this would be their last summer there, so the fact that camp wasn’t held at “camp,” was a big deal.

As everyone adjusted out on the San Jacinto Mountains, it was time to figure out what to do about session two. Girl Scout camp would start by then, so this location wasn’t going to work. While restoration crews had begun working round-theclock at Camp Mountain Chai, it wasn’t clear how long that would take.

Just as they were preparing to open session two at a Boy Scout camp on the other side of Big Bear Lake, Gerard and his team received word that they were clear to return home.

“We were getting emails from parents whose kids were screaming, telling us how happy and exuberant they were that they were getting to go to camp,” Gerard says.

Since everything had to be boxed up and pushed aside for the restoration team to complete their overhaul, it took another week of loading and unloading before camp was officially at ease in its regular home. Although it took an incredible amount of work, a little luck, and lots of help from the community at large, Gerard says it was never an option to cancel any camp sessions.

“Zim [Zimmerman] was entirely against closing. The Board was. We were going to pull this off, we didn’t know how but we were going to pull it off.”

And that they did. A For more information on Camp Mountain Chai and to register for next summer, visit campmountainchai.com.

T O D AY, S O M E A R E C A L L I N G I N S I C K J U S T TO B E A B L E TO D O W H AT YO U D O E V E R Y D AY. PIT Y THEM.

San Diego Triathlon Raises Millions to Support Challenged Athletes Around the World

L

PHOTO BY RICH CRUSE

a Jolla Cove in San Diego hosted more than 5,000 supporters of the Challenged Athletes Foundation at the 22nd Annual Aspen Medical Products San Diego Triathlon Challenge on Sunday, Oct. 18 – a day that raised $1.4 million to help physically challenged individuals get the support they need to succeed in sports and in life.

“Coupled with important fundraising, the weekend is about bringing our Challenged Athletes Foundation family together – our dedicated supporters, inspirational athletes and generous partners – to celebrate our collective athletic accomplishments,” said Bill Geppert, CEO of the Challenged Athletes Foundation.

Funds raised over the course of the weekend will allow the Challenged Athletes Foundation to provide adaptive sports equipment, travel and training, and competition expenses to athletes around the world with physical challenges, and to support the organization’s mentoring programs and schedule of annual, free mobility clinics.

Combined with the fundraising efforts of the Mazda Foundation Million Dollar Challenge, the Aspen Medical Products San Diego Triathlon Challenge weekend raised a record-breaking $3.1 million for the Challenged Athletes Foundation.

For a full recap of the Aspen Medical Products San Diego Triathlon Challenge weekend of events and photos, visit Challengedathletes.org/ SDTC or go to @CAFoundation on Twitter.

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1.858.216.4464 Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 45 101915b_Patrician_SD_Jewish_Journal_Savor_Tomorrow_CMYK_A.indd 1

10/19/15 3:26 PM

CAMP ON A CLIFF Hess Kramer offers real-life panorama

BY TINA B. ESHEL

O

n the edge of the Pacific Ocean in Malibu, Calif., nestled in Little Sycamore Canyon, you’ll find Camp Hess Kramer, where, for more than 60 years, Jewish children have enjoyed an unforgettable summer camp experience while deepening their bond to their Jewish heritage. Described as a “matchless setting” and “magical environment” on their website, CHK is the kind of place that offers loads of programming from athletics and recreational activities to arts and crafts. Past campers gush that it’s perfect for families who want their children to enjoy summertime and feel pride in their Jewish heritage.

Being so close to the Southern California coastline means that Camp Hess Kramer can offer things like surfing and scuba diving in a spot that’s truly world-renowned for just those activities. Lest you think it’s just about beach life, CHK also offers a full range of athletics beyond the water-based ones, including basketball, tennis, soccer, softball and archery.

If arts and crafts are more likely to capture your children’s interest, they can partake of ceramics, fabric arts and even woodwork. Your drama-lovers can take the stage for music, dance and theater productions, and there’s plenty of time for rest and relaxing too.

But of course, an important part of Jewish summer camp is the unique ways it can encourage children to re-explore or interact for the first time with the religion’s timeless traditions.

“Shabbat is one of the most exciting parts of the week,” CHK’s website

explains. “Friday night begins the Shabbat experience through T’filah, a special dinner meal, an energy-filled song session and then the entire camp in one place doing Israeli dancing! The rest of Shabbat captures the essence of the day with services, reading from the Torah and relaxing cabin time.”

Community development and connection to Israel are valuable experiences for campers, and at CHK they’re encouraged through the daily schedule. The camp also hosts Israeli counselors each session.

“The experience is nothing short of transformative,” they write. “We have more than 60 years worth of evidence to prove it. Many of our staff grew up at Camp, and we are all deeply committed to your child’s experience and inclusion in our community. We also bring in staff from Israel to expand our perspectives and enhance our culture. Each of us understands the privilege and responsibility of being a positive Jewish role model.”

Prospective families who are interested in learning more about CHK can check out the facilities during one of the open houses scheduled this month, on Nov. 6, or next month, on Dec. 6. This is your chance to meet staff, enjoy a sample of their food and check out the sister camp, also run by the Wilshire Boulevard Temple, Gindling Hilltop Camp. Open House dates continue once per month through May 2016. A Visit the website, wbtcamps.org.

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San Diego • Tel Aviv 46 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

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Jewish National Fund Honors Rick and Marcia Stein at the Ninth Annual Love of Israel Dinner Jewish National Fund (JNF) is hosting the Ninth Annual Love of Israel Dinner on Tuesday, December 15, 2015. The event will be held at the beautiful Omni Rancho Las Palmas Resort (41000 Bob Hope Drive) and will honor the philanthropic achievements of Rick and Marcia Stein.

Distinguished Georgetown University professor Dr. Ralph Nurnberger will give the keynote address. Guests are invited for cocktails at 5:00 PM and the dinner and program will begin at 6:00 PM. The Steins, who are passionate and avid supporters of Israel, have been involved with JNF for over 20 years. “We believe that JNF is an essential organization to be a part of for anyone who loves Israel or the Jewish people,” says Mr. Stein, who is former President and currently sits on the board of JNF Palm Springs and the Desert Region. “We are deeply honored to be recognized by JNF because we consider it to be one of the extremely premiere establishments for the development and improvement of life in Israel, and look forward to continuing our relationship with this wonderful, worthwhile organization.”

The Steins are also involved in many different capacities in the Palm Springs area. They belong to Temple Sinai; Mr. Stein is on the National Council of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee and Mrs. Stein is very active in the Rancho Mirage Emergency Preparedness Committee, to name a few. They were jointly honored by the AntiDefamation League and Mrs. Stein was one of the recipients of this year’s prestigious Senior Inspiration Award. Not only are they extremely involved in their local desert community of Palm Springs, but their passion and commitment for helping others extends to the desert of Israel’s south, the Negev.

Although they support the many efforts of JNF, one of their favorite projects is Blueprint Negev, an initiative focused on making the desert bloom. Particularly, they are excited about the building of a new rehabilitation center on the site of Aleh Negev-Nahalat Eran. This planned outpatient Rehabilitation Center will serve both local residents and the IDF—offering rehabilitative services including physiotherapy, occupational therapy, hydrotherapy, and communication therapy. This center will be an important cornerstone for the continuous development of the Negev.

As part of its focus on improving quality of life in Israel, JNF is dedicated to ensuring that no member of Israeli society is left behind.

Through its Disabilities & Special Needs program, JNF provides cuttingedge rehabilitative services, special education, and medical care for people with special needs. JNF’s partnership with Aleh Negev-Nahalat Eran aims to enhance their strength, fiscal viability, and effectiveness.

“We are so fortune to have Rick and Marcia Stein as leaders, partners and friends,” says Donna Raider, JNF Campaign Executive. “JNF is grateful for their support and inspirational leadership. We look forward to working together for many years to come on all the wonderful and exciting projects in the desert and in Israel.”

For more information about the Love of Israel Dinner, visit jnf.org/psloi or contact Donna Raider at draider@jnf.org or 760.864.6208 x989.

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Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 47

HOW JEWISH FAMILY CAMP

helped me let go of my fantasy family in order to appreciate my real family that much more

BY ROBIN FINN, KVELLER VIA JTA, EDITED BY NATALIE JACOBS

I

t’s 5 p.m. on a Friday and we’re following the Waze app out of Los Angeles. I’m sweating because our SUV is stuffed with duffel bags and sleeping bags and three kids with ear buds jammed in their ears. The sun is setting and the camp had asked – very specifically – that we please arrive before Shabbat.

Although we’re not religious, I’m attempting to bond with the kids through our annual trip to Jewish family camp. I did try to get an earlier start, but the dog had to be dropped off and my husband forgot his car charger and my son needed his inhaler. So now the sun is setting and we’re officially late, and I’m having flashbacks of family camp weekend last year.

We’d just changed our son’s medications for ADHD and although we were in a good groove before the weekend away, the stressors of packing and sitting on the 101 Freeway at rush hour with three kids in the back seat had been a rough start for all of us.

Once we arrived, my son insisted that I organize the boys to play the “cooperative” board game, Forbidden Island, but the boys kept wandering off while my son explained the rules, which are complicated. He got frustrated because the other kids kept disappearing to play sports. My youngest waited in line for an hour at the ropes course and then changed her mind to great despair, and my oldest had absorbed all the stresses of her family members. Her dad and I were in damage-control mode and it had not been relaxing. Plus, our son slept in our room each night because he couldn’t sleep without being read to in complete silence.

So here we are again, a year later, making our pilgrimage, except this time we’re using Waze and we’re late. My son is very uncomfortable with the fact that we would arrive in the middle of dinner.

“Camp won’t let us starve,” I tell him. “There will at least be peanut butter and jelly.” But this only intensifies his anxiety.

Finally we pull into camp. My son spots the lights of the dining hall.

“Do you think we made it for dinner? Do you think we made it?”

We stop the car and let him run ahead. As he dashes off, he yells, “Don’t forget the extra sleeping bag. You know I need to read and it’s cold and I’m going to need to sleep in your room.”

“Yes,” I nod. “I have the bag. Go eat.”

My husband and I squeeze in at a table, enjoying the singing, the wine and the company. Suddenly my son appears, bursting with concerns about the next day.

“Do I have to go to services? Are you going to make me go? How long will they be? Do I have to do activities?”

I can feel the pit in my stomach as our familiar cycle begins: my unspoken expectations – be flexible, participate, get along; his anxiety and search for reassurance; my mounting frustration; his growing tensions; our 48 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

explosive confrontation; and then me, angry, upset and defeated, and my son, also angry, upset and defeated for again failing to live up to his mom’s expectations.

I’m ready to launch into my answer when, in the bright light of the dining hall, I look into his face. I see dark eyes behind blue-rimmed glasses, rumpled brown hair, a clenched jaw and dry lips in serious need of ChapStick. Suddenly a switch inside me flips. Divine intervention? I have no idea. I just know I heard myself say something very different than my usual.

“You know what? You don’t have to do anything,” I say. “I’m just glad you’re here. I just want you to have a good time. I just want us to have a good time as a family.”

His jaw relaxes and he says, “OK, Mom.” Then he leans his head on my shoulder. For a few precious seconds I rest my cheek against his hair. Then he straightens up and bolts for the door.

I catch only glimpses of him the rest of the weekend. He never comes to our room.

Sunday morning, we gather for a group photo. The five of us – my husband and me, our two daughters and our son – sitting side by side in the grass. Over the weekend I’ve seen my teen huddled in a circle amongst other teens, my youngest painting a canvas, and my son deep in a card game with the boys from his cabin. I notice that they aren’t at services or activities or appreciating the splendor of nature – but they are smiling. They’ve made new friends. And I’ve learned a huge lesson.

This weekend, I finally let go of my “fantasy family” – my vision of how the five of us should be – and just embraced how we are. We’re imperfect but doing the best we can and we’re enjoying the weekend – together. A (Robin Finn is an author, essayist, advocate and health care writer.)

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Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 49

Camp Ramah Will Open Second California Location Venerable camp of the Jewish Theological Seminary to open new location for summer 2016

BY NATALIE JACOBS

C

amp Ramah has had a presence in California since 1956 when the iconic Jewish summer camp hosted its first group in Ojai. This upcoming summer, Northern California will get its own Camp Ramah location on the campus of the Monterey Bay Academy, a Seventhday Adventist boarding school with 380-acres atop the Pacific Ocean.

Campus facilities include a pool, gym, theater and sports fields.

The new location can accommodate up to 500 campers, but Camp Ramah NorCal expects the summer of 2016 to serve about 60 campers per session. Sessions start June 21 and run concurrently through July 31.

While the camp will offer a full range of activities and sports, the group notes in a statement, “it will allow campers to specialize in one of three areas: performing arts, outdoor adventure, or marine biology.”

On the Ocean Exploration track, campers will learn to kayak, surf and scuba dive. Leaders on this track will also teach kids about the ocean environment, conservation and marine sustainability.

The Performing Arts track will help campers develop their skills in crafting a play, dance, music, or set design as they learn about modern Jewish arts. Jewish texts will guide learning of improvisation skills and development of a creative voice to “make the world a better place.”

For those on the Adventure Sports track, it’s all about developing new wilderness skills. From horseback-riding and rock climbing to organic farming and mountain biking, these campers will “climb to new heights.”

Also included in this track is an overnight backcountry trip offered each session.

“We believe in giving campers the opportunity to choose their specialty track each session as a development of their own responsibility and leadership skills,” Camp Ramah NorCal writes on their website. Each track incorporates traditional camp activities as well.

To date, the Camp Ramah NorCal board has secured 50 percent of the 50 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

needed startup funding, or $1.1 million. They note that their fundraising goal is to secure another $2.5 million to “ensure the camp’s long-term success.” Some of that will go toward scholarship money.

Sarah Shulman, who was recently ordained as a Conservative rabbi from the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies, has been appointed NorCal Director for the new Camp Ramah location.

“Ramah NorCal will transform youth through inspirational camp programming and invigorate the Northern California Jewish community and its future leaders,” Shulman says. “Our goals include keeping our campers very active with exciting challenges, while they gain new skills and a deeper sense of Jewish pride.” A Camp Ramah NorCal will be the 10th Camp Ramah location in the United States. Enrollment is open now. Find details at ramahnorcal.org.

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FEATURE

New Pot Paradigms The changing conversation around marijuana, the drug war and Jewish imperatives to enact social change

BY NATALIE JACOBS

S

o far in the lead-up to the November 2016 elections, there are two proposed marijuana legalization initiatives working their way toward California’s ballot. It is expected that Nevada, Maryland, Maine, Florida, Michigan and Missouri will also have legalization initiatives on their state ballots next year. To date, 25 states (counting the District of Columbia and Guam) have legalized medical marijuana. Of those, five states have legalized, decriminalized and regulated the use of marijuana outright.

Roy Kaufmann, a San Diego native now residing in Portland, Ore., considers this progress.

“The reality is that marijuana prohibition fuels the drug war, it pays for the drug war,” Kaufmann said during his presentation at this year’s Yom Limmud back in August. “It makes it possible for all the sides that are benefitting from the drug war to keep fighting.”

And yet, he continues, marijuana is the third most-used substance in the United States, behind alcohol and tobacco.

“It’s probably on par with caffeine at this point,” he said.

In 2013, the National Survey on Drug Use and Health found that 19.8 million people aged 12 and older had used marijuana in the month before the survey was conducted. That number marked a 2.7 percent increase in marijuana usage from the last survey conducted in 2007.

“At a minimum, we shouldn’t be treating drugs through a criminal lens. We should be treating drugs through a public health lens.

Then you are asking better questions about individual health, population health, addiction, treatment of addiction, substitution.”

Kaufmann is a political scientist turned public relations professional. When he started studying marijuana in 2009 he couldn’t help but be lured in by the history of the public policy and the socalled drug war.

The term “war on drugs” was first used by President Richard Nixon on June 17, 1971. In 1973, Nixon created the Drug Enforcement Agency to consolidate all previously disparate government groups into one “super agency” to cover all aspects of “an all-out global war on the

drug menace.”

Come 1977, President Jimmy Carter was elected on a platform that included marijuana decriminalization. A measure that would have turned that election platform into law once worked its way through the Senate Judiciary Committee but never moved to a full Congressional vote. By the 1980s, cocaine had entered into the United States from Colombia and marijuana legalization initiatives were all but forgotten while the “war on drugs” escalated.

On Oct. 27, 1986, President Ronald Reagan signed the Anti-Drug Abuse Act, which established mandatory minimum sentences for drug offenders. This came about in response to the crack cocaine epidemic and has been widely criticized for “promoting racial disparities” and targeting lower class minorities disproportionate to middle and upper-class white drug users.

Under President George W. Bush in 2002, the administration worked with a goal of reducing all illegal drug use by 25 percent. TIME Magazine found that this initiative led to “unprecedented numbers of marijuana-related arrests” while pot use “only declined six percent (and the use of other drugs actually increased).”

In a one-on-one interview after his presentation at the JCC, Kaufmann tells me the drug war is “profoundly unfair and completely unsuccessful as a policy initiative.”

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 53

“It has failed on every stated objective that it had,” he says.

What heightened Kaufmann’s involvement wasn’t just the hypocrisy of the policy, but the inability to open the Jewish community up to the conversation.

“We couldn’t even get a Federation or a rabbi or anybody to say ‘this is something we should have a position on,’ or ‘let’s open up the doors and talk about it.’”

Now, Kaufmann runs a nonprofit, part-time passion project called LeOr. The group’s goal is to engage the Jewish community around marijuana advocacy, like the community, particularly the Reform movement, once rallied around Civil Rights and Women’s Rights in the 1960s.

“At a minimum, we shouldn’t be treating drugs through a criminal lens,” he says of LeOr’s stance on marijuana policy. “We should be treating drugs through a public health lens. Then you are asking better questions about individual health, population health, addiction, treatment of addiction, substitution.”

What has never been included in the “war on drugs” are prescription pain pills known as opioid analgesics (drugs derived from opium, like heroin), with brand names such as OxyContin, Vicodin, Percocet, and Dilaudid. Research into the usage trends of those drugs, published in the New England Journal of Medicine in January, 2015, found that there were 47 million prescriptions written and fulfilled per quarter in the United States in 2006. In the fourth quarter of 2012, “volume peaked” at 62 million prescriptions. The study notes a slight downward 54 SDJewishJournal.com | November 2015

trend through 2013, leveling out at 60 million prescriptions per calendar quarter. Even at their lowest rate, 188 million prescriptions were written for opioid analgesics in the 2006 calendar year.

In their National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 6.9 percent of people used an opioid analgesic in 2011-2012 “in the past 30 days.” This marked an increase from 5 percent in 1999-2002.

The NEJM study notes that deaths caused by prescription opioids rose to 16,651 in 2010 after 11 straight years of increases.

In October, 2014, the journal JAMA Internal Medicine published a study that found states with medical marijuana laws had lower rates of opioid analgesic overdoses, by 24.8 percent between the years 1999-2010. The study also found that the overdose mortality rate continued to decrease over time in medical marijuana states.

Kaufmann’s personal connection to the legalization fight ramped up when he himself became a medical marijuana patient. He doesn’t want to talk about the details of any medical conditions he uses marijuana to cope with, noting that it’s not customary to ask about the diagnosis of someone who says he’s taking antidepressants or prescription pain pills. But he does say that the medical marijuana has helped him.

“I became a medical patient and I learned – you have to be your own best advocate as a patient anyway in healthcare these days – but when you’re talking about a structure of medicine that is not as well studied or regulated or understood,

Roy Kaufmann

you really have to be your own advocate and you really have to understand it,” he explains. “So I started to study it and very quickly...you don’t have to dig very deep to see how profoundly unjust and irrational the prohibition approach is.

“You can use or abuse anything for any reason,” he adds. “You can over eat. You can over drink. You can over shop. You can be a sex addict.

You can be addicted to anger. You can also use any of those things in pro-social ways. It’s just a question of an individual’s ability to regulate their own behavior.”

Once marijuana is legalized, as states like Washington, Oregon, Colorado, Alaska and the District of Columbia have experienced, state governments develop regulation standards for everything from tax collection and age-level requirements to limits and tests for intoxicated driving.

At that point, for Kaufmann, it becomes a question of capitalism taking over where the DEA has left off. He says LeOr and the greater Jewish community can be involved on that level too.

“How do we go about creating a modern cannabis marketplace that is based on good menchie values and not based on the worst profit-

“I became a medical patient and I learned – you have to be your own best advocate as a patient anyway in healthcare these days – but when you’re talking about a structure of medicine that is not as well studied or regulated or understood, you really have to be your own advocate and you really have to understand it.” seeking overconsumption models?” Kaufmann wonders.

In a speech to Congress on Sept. 29, Senator, Jew, and presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders said, “The United States is the only major country on earth that does not, in one form or another, regulate prescription drug prices. What that means is, you could walk into a drug store tomorrow and find that the drug you’ve been using for many years has doubled, tripled, or gone up 10 times. The United States Congress has chosen to be the only major country on earth that does not address this issue.”

“Whatever this industry looks like,” Kaufmann says of marijuana legalization, “it needs to be an industry that is based on educated consumers and sustainable values, fair labor values and all these things. It doesn’t need to be another industry that makes a few people very wealthy and most

people, not.”

With legalization momentum building in individual states across the country, the financial sector is starting to dip its toes into the burgeoning industry. In January, PayPal founder Peter Thiel announced that his venture capital firm Founders Fund would invest millions into a specific marijuana investment company called Privateer Holdings, who’s first investment was in the Bob Marley pot brand Marley Natural. It was noted that Privateer had rasied $82 million in two rounds of funding, in 2011 and 2014.

Speaking with HuffPost after the investment announcement, Founders Fund co-founder Geoff Lewis said the investment in Privateer “will help end marijuana prohibition” which they at the Fund believe “will be a social good.”

A newer kid on the venture capital investment block is Justin Hartfield, whose Emeral Ocean Capital group launched in 2013 to “professionalize and legitimize the marijuana business sector through the power of private enterprise.” Emerald Ocean sees the marijuana business as a $100 billion opportunity.

During his Yom Limmud presentation, Kaufmann cited a long list of outspoken and influential Jewish marijuana supporters. From Israel, Jewish people have led the way on marijuana research because the United States’ classification of marijuana as a Schedule 1 narcotic makes it nearly impossible for academics to conduct research here.

Israel’s prominence in the field of cannabis research started in 1963 with Raphael Mechoulam. A biochemist at the Weizmann Institute of Science, he was the first to discover and isolate tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the main active ingredient in cannabis.

“He is the G-dfather of cannabis [research] the world over,” Kaufmann said in his presentation at Yom Limmud. “PTSD, cancer, Parkinson’s, MS, osteoporosis, bone cancer. Israel is cutting edge thanks to him.”

While recreational marijuana is farther from legalization in Israel than it is in the United States, medical marijuana has made more progress there. Kaufmann notes that patients using chemotherapy drugs are given marijuana to consume in the hospital. Seniors in assisted living facilities who have Alzheimer’s, PTSD, or whom are Holocaust survivors, are allowed to consume cannabis inside their residencies.

“It already is a Jewish issue,” Kaufmann says.

“I just have to remind people you shouldn’t be afraid of talking about it.” A Roy Kaufmann will be back in San Diego on Dec. 6 to speak with a group at the JCC as part of the Center for Jewish Culture’s young adult “In the Mix” programming. Details are forthcoming. Contact Ilene Tatro for information – ilenet@lfjcc.org Keep up with Kaufmann’s nonprofit advocacy group LeOr at illuminating.us.

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 55

FEATURE

In Search of Truth and Vitality The Jewish Renewal Movement seeks to imbue new meaning into spirituality, particularly for those who may have strayed from strict observation.

BY TINA B. ESHEL

I

t’s the High Holidays and I’m lying on the floor in a house of worship. I’m so relaxed that some might say I’m asleep, except I’m keenly aware of the voice of my guide, Dr. Burt Bialik, who’s words have brought me to this meditative space in the first place. Around me in a circle, some sitting and some also prone on the floor, are dozens of other Jewish men and women. We are gathered together at the Elijah Minyan for a different kind of Yom Kippur service. I’m here in part to understand what Jewish Renewal actual is. In my present state, I only know that I feel very much both Jewish and renewed.

Meditation, guided visualization, chanting and dance are not what most Jewish people today associate with synagogue or spiritual life. And yet, I’m certain that this is something many of us are yearning for in response to our hectic lives.

My evidence is anecdotal, from the many Jews who unaffiliate with Judaism, only to be found in the ranks of Buddhism or other mindfulness traditions; from the conversations with friends who respond with surprise when they learn about Jewish eco-spirituality; to the swelling of interest in “Jewifying” things like yoga, breath-work and meditation. Somewhere in between orthodoxy and secularism lies another way of being Jewish, a Judaism revitalized.

The Jewish Renewal movement was started by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (“Reb Zalman” as he preferred to be known) – described by Forward Magazine as the most influential Jewish change-maker of his generation.

“His ideas and work spawned the worldwide Jewish Renewal movement, the Havurah movement, numerous Jewish retreat centers and innovative social-change programs,” according to aleph.org, the Jewish Renewal website. Now I’m feeling his influence in this Yom Kippur service where I find myself deep in repose.

With the passing of Reb Zalman on July 3, 2014, the continuation of Jewish Renewal has fallen to the hands of many others, including San Diego’s Rabbi Wayne Dosick, Ph.D. of the Elijah Minyan, and Rabbi Shefa Gold, named one of America’s most inspiring rabbis in 2015 by The Jewish Daily Forward. Rabbi Gold will lead a Scholar-in Residence weekend Nov. 12-15 at

56 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

Congregation Beth El in La Jolla.

“Jewish Renewal came of a place that was counter culture in some ways. Think of it as the R&D of Judaism,” Rabbi Gold says. “There’s a lot of experimentation, pushing the edges, so as it evolves, it’s going to be something that is sometimes threatening to the status quo. This may be why people don’t know about it so much.”

It’s not the center of established Judaism, even as it’s influence enters the mainstream, she explains.

“What synagogues are doing is taking things from Jewish Renewal and bringing them into their midsts.”

At Beth El, she’ll host a number of programs based on her three books including, “Torah Journeys: The Inner Path to the Promised Land,” (Ben Yehuda Press, 2006). She’ll be teaching her special method of using Torah text to answer questions while looking for the spiritual challenges and practices to help us truly receive the blessings of Torah. Because the Shabbaton is in November, the month of Thanksgiving, Gold will also do a workshop on gratefulness.

Chanting will be used to “open doorways to Judaism” throughout the weekend.

Gold believes that Jewish Renewal can appeal to those who want to know a “fun and compelling” experience wherein observers “receive the truth that the Jewish path can be filled with joy, creativity and vitality, and not just about saying some words that are old.”

San Diego is also home to Shir Hayam, a Renewal Havurah, of which Rhonda Mason is a board member.

“What I love about Jewish Renewal is that it’s allowed me to connect to my Jewish roots in a very spiritual and enlightened way. And that it’s really opened a door for me to go deeper into my Jewish knowledge and to … pull from the depth of Jewish practice,” Mason says.

“A lot of the more engaging music and chanting practices that you see in traditional shul have come out of Renewal sources … rabbis and scholars who have their roots in that movement.”

Shir Ha Yam and the Elijah Minyan are the two Jewish Renewal congregations in San Diego; rabbi Wayne Dosick is the spiritual leader of the latter.

He is also the author of many books including his

latest, “The Real Name of G-d: Embracing the Full Essence of the Divine,” (Inner Traditions, 2012). Dosick’s discovery? Hidden in plain sight throughout the Torah, referenced hundreds of times, is G-d’s real name: Anochi.

It’s a provocative assertion. In a 2012 interview with the San Diego Union Tribune, Dosick explains that he translates “Anochi” – traditionally assumed to be a variation of the word, “I” – as “I-Source.” He wrote the book to help make sense of the paradox of a G-d both loving and vengeful, and because now is the time to re-learn G-d’s real name. None of the names we currently use – YHVH, Adonai, Hashem, Elohim for example – are the complete name of the Divine, he explains using a beach ball analogy.

“Picture a beach ball. Many colors make up the beach ball, and each colored panel is a name of G-d,” he says. Each one is not the Whole G-d, but an aspect, manifestation or behavior of G-d.

Without all the colors, you can’t have G-d. But, Dosick wanted to know, “what’s the complete name of G-d, and could I go back to Torah and find the name hiding there in plain site waiting for the right energetic moment to be revealed?

“I found it,” he continues calmly. “And I also found that … the sages knew and left us hints in their writings.”

He believes this is the right energetic time to share this information. Why now?

“It seems the theme song of [religion] today is, ‘my G-d is better than your G-d,’” he explains.

“And when we fought about who is G-d and what’s G-d’s name … previously, it was very painful and difficult and hard and miserable for the world. Now we’ve come to the point where we have the ability to destroy each other … and the whole world with us.”

This is the leap to “Oneness Consciousness,” Dosick says. He believes the discovery of G-d’s true name shows us that there’s a transcendent and imminent G-d within each one of us. One could say, it’s a renewed naming and understanding of the divine, at a time when the idea of One G-d and One People may just matter to all of humanity in ways never seen before. A

THEATER

What is “Indecent” to you? to

New play confronts a Jewish tragedy

BY PAT LAUNER

I

t seemed like a typical night on Broadway in 1923. But all hell was about to break loose.

The Vice squad not only closed down the production of “G-d of Vengeance,” but they arrested the producer and 12 actors, and booked them on obscenity charges. It was a travesty, and it dogged the play’s writer Sholem Asch for the rest of his life.

His play had a profound effect on another playwright, Pulitzer Prize-winner Paula Vogel (“How I Learned to Drive”), who first encountered “G-d of Vengeance” when she was a 23 year-old graduate student.

Now, four decades later, she’s teamed up with acclaimed director Rebecca Taichman, to tell the story of that fateful night, the buildup, the aftermath, and the artists who risked their lives and careers to perform in that incendiary work of theater. The result, “Indecent,” a provocative play with music, receives its world premiere at the La Jolla Playhouse (Nov. 13-Dec. 10).

“I was stunned when I first read it,” says Vogel, who teaches at the Yale School of Drama.

“I couldn’t believe these beautiful female characters, and a love between two women. A

newlywed man in his 20s wrote this? How could he so clearly see women who have to work in the sex trade, and how women were brutalized?”

Director Taishman, it turns out, had written about “G-d of Vengeance” for her graduate thesis at Yale. Using transcripts, she’d staged the obscenity trial.

“That trial made a deep impact on all of us who’d read the play,” Vogel, who’d been “tracking the work” of Taichman, and thinking they could work effectively together, recalls.

Five years ago, Taichman and Bill Rauch, artistic director of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (OSF), contacted Vogel. OSF had commissioned Taichman to create a work about the “G-d of Vengeance” debacle. Yale Repertory Theatre, in turn, commissioned Vogel, its current playwright-in-residence, to write the piece. Yale, which is co-producing the play with the La Jolla Playhouse, premiered the show last month.

“It’s been incredible collaborating with Rebecca,” Vogel says. “We’ve designated each other co-creators. Almost every page I fly by her, and likewise, I’m there all the time watching.

“We’ve taken on something very ambitious.

We have a klezmer band, original music, projections, choreography. There’s a cast of seven, plus three onstage musicians, who are part of the troupe that tells the story.

“Essentially,” Vogel continues, “it’s a play about a play. We don’t see a lot of the original play; most of the action takes place backstage, and also covers a wide swath of Jewish history and American Jewish history.”

The original play The story of “G-d of Vengeance” unfolds like a Greek tragedy. Set in a town outside Warsaw in 1905, in the home of Yekel Shepsovitch, a shrewd businessman who tries to live an upstanding life upstairs (with his virginal daughter and his former-prostitute wife), while in the basement, he’s running a brothel. Yekel plans to marry his beloved daughter, Rivkele, to the son of a rabbi, offering a large dowry to counterbalance his tarnished reputation. He also commissions a Torah to be created for his house; only a man of dignity can have that blessing.

But Rivkele foils his plans by falling in love with a young prostitute. The first act closes with Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 57

PREVIOUS PAGE: Adina Verson and Katrina Lenk play leading lovers. ABOVE: The full cast of “Indecent” at the Yale Repertory Theatre showing earlier this year.

a lusty scene and what might be the first onstage lesbian kiss. In the second act, after a tender love scene, the two women run away. Yekel eventually gets his daughter back, but in dismay, he throws the Torah down and casts out his daughter and his wife.

Why the play was so inflammatory “When we came to the U.S. as Jewish immigrants,” Vogel explains, “we were very aware of being a minority. We didn’t want anybody to air our dirty laundry. Jews didn’t want American Christians to think their people were involved in the sex trade.”

Asch chose a Jewish brothel owner, which in Yiddish, seemed to be acceptable – both to European and American audiences.

“The clash between Yekel’s repellant career and his paternal idealism, and the catastrophic result of that collision, forms the powerful spine of the play,” Vogel says. “But when it was translated into English, American Jews were worried about anti-Semitic kickback. Eugene O’Neill had loved the play. He compared it to the work of Gorky, Ibsen and Zola.”

But in New York, Vogel explains, the most vociferous complainant was the highly influential Rabbi Joseph Silverman of the wealthy 5th Avenue Temple Emanuel.

“He couldn’t have Asch arrested as a pornographer, because Asch was a household name abroad. He was the Isaac Bashevis Singer of his time. In Europe, a 12-volume set of his work was published in the early 1920s, and he had a worldwide readership. His oeuvre was considered 58 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

a masterpiece. People thought he would get the Nobel Prize. They couldn’t arrest him. So they arrested the cast. But the obscenity trial kind of derailed his career.”

As director Taichman has put it, “Written in 1907, the play seemed destined to push every button – with lesbians, whores, pimps, a vengeful G-d and a hypocritical rabbi. In ‘Indecent,’ Sholem Asch’s play serves as the lens through which we look at Jewish history and bring into sharp focus the very real power of theater on those who see it, write it and make it.”

The new work Vogel explains “Indecent” began in Sholem Asch’s bedroom. His new wife had just read the first draft of his latest play, “G-d of Vengeance.”

She loved it. She’s a suffragette, a socialist, the product of a liberal, Enlightenment household.

The next day, when he read the play to the noteworthy Yiddish writers of his community, at the literary salon of I.L. Peretz, a prominent figure in the Jewish Enlightenment, Asch was urged to burn the play.

“The action follows the trials and tribulations of the women playing the lesbians and prostitutes, to the night the New York production is shut down. The piece ends in 1952, in Asch’s study in Bridgeport, Connecticut.” (The writer died in 1957).

Vogel won’t reveal more, but she concedes that the play is “a love song for theater, and for Yiddish theater.”

Still, she says, “there are many mysteries about Asch’s involvement in the whole process.

“Essentially, it’s a play about a play. We don’t see a lot of the original play; most of the action takes place backstage, and also covers a wide swath of Jewish history and American Jewish history.”

He agreed to certain cuts in the text, but failed to show up for the trial. But this is not a documentary. It’s a fiction. I’m making a lot of things up.”

When “Indecent” opened last month at Yale Repertory Theatre, the New Haven Register hailed it as an “exquisite co-production … [with]

PHOTOS BY CAROL ROSEGG

Aaron Halva, Richard Topol (seated), Travis W. Hendrix, Adina Verson, and Katrina Lenk

sublime depth … a vividly colorful portrait of a theater troupe sacrificing all for art’s sake.”

The Hartford Courant praised “Vogel’s elegant script, in a production of music, movement and shared memory that’s beautifully staged and wonderfully acted.”

Vogel feels that the new play spotlights “how we as immigrants, as Americans, needed, and still need, our art and music in the New World.

Arthur Miller would revisit a major theme of the play in ‘All My Sons’: What you do for money comes back and strikes you. The sins of the father fall upon the children.”

The playwright’s story Vogel herself was the product of a Jewish father and a Creole mother.

“I grew up with the best of both worlds,” she quips, “with homemade chopped liver and gumbo!”

She once read that playwright Lillian Hellman, who also had a Jewish father and Catholic mother, used to cross herself and say “Oy.” “I do that every now and then,” Vogel admits.

She married into a Jewish family; her wife is a scientist who writes about biology and gender.

Vogel’s own Jewish grandparents were from Germany and Russia.

“I consider this story part of my history,” she asserts, “part of my legacy.”

She attended Catholic University, “because it had one of the best theater programs,” she says.

“I told them I was Jewish, so I didn’t have to take religion classes.”

Her life since then has had an interesting

trajectory. When she applied to Yale for graduate school, she wasn’t accepted (she would have been in the same class as renowned playwrights Christopher Durang and the late Wendy Wasserstein). She attended Cornell University instead, and went on to spend 24 years as head of the playwriting program at Brown University.

She ultimately ended up as the Eugene O’Neill Professor of Playwriting at the Yale School of Drama.

“Everything has a structure,” she says of the irony of her being revered at Yale, where she was once excluded. “You just have to live long enough!”

At 64, Vogel is a grande dame of the American theater. Four collections of her plays have been published. Among her innumerable honors are membership in the Theatre Hall of Fame, a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Dramatists Guild, the Award for Literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, and the William Inge Festival Distinguished Achievement in the American Theatre Award.

Two prizes that honor emerging playwrights are named after her: the Paula Vogel Award created by the American College Theatre Festival, and the Paula Vogel Award in Playwriting, presented annually by the Vineyard Theatre.

These days, she’s brushing up on her Yiddish, with help from professor and historian Joel Berkowitz of the University of WisconsinMilwaukee and Grammy Award-winner Lisa Gutkin, violinist of the Klezmatics, co-composer and part of the “Indecent” troupe.

“They both tell me Yiddish is making a

comeback,” Vogel says with delight. “There are Yiddish camps all over Europe, and people regardless of religion are studying it. It’s a language that should be alive.”

As for the controversy that “G-d of Vengeance” instilled, she says, “I think it’s good that writers bite the hand that feeds them. It’s like the Greek dramatists; they criticized the ruling class.

“I believe that great theater wounds the memory. I like to think that such transforming moments on the stage, or on the page, remain with us even in the final days of our existence, providing solace, ache and agitation.”

Clearly, “G-d of Vengeance” played that role in Vogel’s life.

“I long to have a conversation with the audience,” she says. “To ask them: What do you think? Should the play have been censored?”

Perhaps she’ll have that opportunity when she’s in San Diego for the premiere. A “Indecent” runs at the La Jolla Playhouse from Nov. 13-Dec. 10.

LJP will stage a special reading of Sholem Asch’s “G-d of Vengence,” the original play that inspired “Indecent,” in partnership with the Center for Jewish Culture on Monday, Nov. 2 at 7 p.m at the Playhouse. The reading will be directed by D. Candis Paule and followed by a talk-back moderated

by LJP Resident Dramaturg Shirley Fishman.

Tickets and information: (858) 550-1010; lajollaplayhouse.org.

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 59

60 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 61

FOOD

in the kitchen WITH

TORI AVEY

ROASTED BUTTERNUT SQUASH GRATIN

Tori Avey is an awardwinning food writer, recipe developer, and the creator of the popular cooking website toriavey.com.

She writes about food history for PBS Food and Parade. com. Follow Tori on Facebook by searching for “Tori Avey” and on Twitter: @toriavey.

62 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

sweet, slightly salty, nutty flavor. The cheese originated in Switzerland near the French border. After the fall of the Roman Empire, a group of Germanic immigrants settled among Romanized Celtic inhabitants of the Swiss highlands. This group of new settlers led to an increase in alpine cheese making in the ninth century.

In the 11th century, the counts of Gruyère were given feudal authority over the highlands of the region, including the western alpine cheese-making territory.

The counts capitalized on the growing cheese trade by taking control of the highland grazing areas and summer migration routes. Gruyère gained a reputation for producing outstanding cheeses. By the Middle Ages, an entire family of alpine cheeses were being made throughout the Alps, including the cheese we know today as Gruyère.

I love this gratin. The natural sweetness of the butternut squash is accentuated by a roast in the oven with aromatic garlic prior to assembling the gratin. The cheese sauce is a variation on a favorite sauce I’ve made

PHOTOS BY TORI AVEY

A

s a Southern California resident, lately I’ve been wondering if fall will ever arrive. The weather has been so warm and dry, it’s felt like a never-ending summer! One morning in early October, finally, we awoke to the grey drizzly chill that always accompanies my favorite season. Now that the weather is starting to turn, I’ve got fall produce on the brain.

Pumpkin, apples, cranberries, and, especially, butternut squash.

This sweet squash is very versatile and quite healthy.

It’s loaded with vitamins A and C, making it a more nutritious alternative to starch-heavy potatoes. A while back, I started wondering how butternut squash would taste in a gratin, so I experimented and tested a few ideas. This recipe is what I eventually came up with. It’s a unique twist on a classic gratin, and it would make a unique and tempting addition to your autumn holiday meals.

If you’ve never tried Gruyère cheese, you are in for a treat. It’s a semi-hard yellow cheese with a slightly

in the past. Here, I’ve used Gruyère cheese and a touch of nutmeg, which is the perfect accent to the sweet squash. After testing the recipe a couple of times I felt it needed more texture (butternut squash roasts up a bit soft), so I toasted some chopped walnuts and sprinkled them over the squash before baking. After a brief browning beneath the broiler, a beautiful gratin is the result. It’s sweet, salty, nutty, and so unique…the perfect side dish for autumn.

If you’re gluten free, I’ve provided a simple modification below. Those who have nut allergies can feel free to omit the walnuts, the dish will still be tasty without them.

ROASTED BUTTERNUT SQUASH GRATIN INGREDIENTS: 2 ½ lbs peeled and cubed butternut squash 1 tbsp olive oil 2 gloves garlic, crushed 1/3 cup finely chopped walnuts 2 tbsp unsalted butter 1 ½ tbsp flour (gluten free modification below) ½ tsp salt (or more to taste) ¼ tsp black pepper 1 ¼ cups milk ¾ cup shredded Gruyere cheese, tightly packed

IKWTA

Pinch of nutmeg You will also need: large mixing bowl, baking sheet, medium saucepan, 2 qt gratin dish or 8x8 baking dish Serves: 6 Total Time: 1 hour 15 minutes Kosher Key: Dairy Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. In a large mixing bowl, toss the butternut squash cubes with olive oil and garlic until the squash is evenly coated. Spread the squash out on a lightly greased baking sheet in an even layer. Sprinkle the squash lightly with salt.

Place squash in the oven and let it roast for about 35 minutes, turning once during cooking, until squash is tender but not overly soft.

Meanwhile, spread the chopped walnuts in an even layer in a small skillet. Toast the walnuts over medium heat, stirring frequently, until they’re toasted and fragrant. Be careful not to let the walnuts burn – as soon as they’re toasted, pour them out of the skillet to keep them from browning further.

In a medium saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Whisk in the flour, salt, and pepper. Stir to form a thick paste. Slowly whisk in the milk, ¼ cup at a time. Heat the milk mixture

over medium heat for a few minutes, whisking frequently, until it thickens and begins to bubble around the edges. Do not let the sauce boil.

Whisk in the grated Gruyère cheese and stir until melted. Whisk in a pinch of nutmeg and more salt to taste, if desired. Reduce heat to lowest setting, stirring frequently, until ready to assemble the gratin.

When the squash is done roasting, remove it from the oven and turn the temperature down to 375 degrees F. Place the squash into a 2 quart gratin dish or 8x8 inch squash baking dish in an even layer. Sprinkle the toasted walnuts across the top of the squash. Pour the gruyere cheese sauce evenly across the top, covering as much of the surface as possible.

Place the assembled gratin into the oven and bake for 20-25 minutes till edges begin to brown and the cheese sauce is bubbly. Turn on your broiler and let the gratin brown for 1-2 minutes, watching it carefully, until the top is golden brown and bubbly. Serve hot.

Gluten Free Modification: Substitute 1 tbsp potato starch for flour.

Vegetarian Note: If you are strictly vegetarian, make sure you use a vegetarian cheese with a microbial rennet. A

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 63

?

WHAT S GOING ON ?? '

LOTS TO BE THANKFUL FOR The San Diego Repertory Theatre will present “The Oldest Boy,” Nov. 12-Dec. 6.

BY EILEEN SONDAK

I

t’s the month of Thanksgiving, and local theater-goers have a cornucopia of events to be thankful for. Broadway-San Diego is delivering two touring productions guaranteed to appeal to the whole family.

Broadway-San Diego will follow up its phenomenal “The Phantom of the Opera” with two family-oriented musicals. The ever-popular “Annie” will take over the Civic Theatre Nov. 3-8. Disney’s eye-popping “Beauty and the Beast” is ready to dazzle audiences of all ages Nov. 24-29.

The Old Globe’s annual treat for the small-fry set, Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” returns to the Main Stage Nov. 7, where it will remain through Dec. 26. The “Grinch” is a tradition with many San Diego families, and the whimsical musical never fails to charm. There is a tree lighting ceremony outside the theater on Nov. 15. The Globe’s Graduate Program will feature the Bard’s “As You Like It” Nov. 14-22 at the adjacent White Theatre.

The La Jolla Music Society will bring Maestro Zubin Mehta and the 64 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

Israel Philharmonic Orchestra to the Civic Theatre for a welcome onenight stand on Nov. 12. The program includes a work by contemporary composer Josef Bardanawshvili, as well as classics by Beethoven and Ravel.

The Society is also presenting An Evening with Chris Thile on Nov. 7-8 at Sherwood Auditorium.

The San Diego Symphony will start the month off with a pair of vintage films on Nov. 1. This Fox Theatre Film Series opening will feature “The Haunted House” (with Buster Keaton) and “The Cat and the Canary” (the German Expressionist masterpiece). Also on tap for Nov. 1 is a Family Festival concert celebrating Balboa Park’’s centennial year. “Tchaikovsky’s Pathetique” is slated for Nov. 6-8, with Maestro Jahja Ling conducting and violinist Sarah Chang performing. The screening of Steven Spielberg’s “E.T.” on Nov. 13 will be accompanied by the San Diego Symphony.

The Symphony will perform a special concert in collaboration with the San Diego Museum of Art Nov. 14. The event is an exploration of the

PHOTO BY AARON RUMLEY PHOTO COURTESY OF MARIN THEATRE COMPANY AND KEVIN KERNE

“Chapatti” receives its West Coast premiere this month at the North Coast Repertory Theatre, until Nov. 15.

duet between the visual and musical arts. “Compania Flamenca,” a dazzling flamenco troupe led by Jose Porcel, will return to Symphony Hall on Nov. 15. “Music of the Americas: Rhythm, Myth, Dance” is slated for Nov. 2022. Guest conductor Carlos Miguel Prieto will lead the orchestra in the three-piece program. (The concert will be performed in San Ysidro Nov. 21.)

San Diego Musical Theatre will stage its popular production of Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas The Musical” at the Spreckels Nov. 27-Dec. 6.

City Ballet will kick off its 23rd season with its annual gala at the US Grant on Nov. 7. Dubbed “Midnight in Paris,” the fundraiser will feature dinner and dancing, plus a mini-performance by the company dancers.

City will perform “Mozart’s Requiem,” a full concert with live music, at the Speckels Theater Nov. 13-15.

The La Jolla Playhouse has another world premiere on its Main Stage.

“Indecent,” a play with music, was inspired by the true events surrounding the 1922 Broadway debut of “The God of Vengeance.” That controversial play has been described by some as a seminal work of Jewish culture, while others call it a work of traitorous libel. “Indecent” (headed for the Weiss Theater Nov. 13-Dec. 10) abounds with popular songs of the era and charts the history of the artists who risked their careers and their lives to perform the incendiary work. Sounds like a must-see!

The San Diego Opera will present soprano Patricia Racette on Nov. 14 at the Balboa Theatre in a solo performance featuring cabaret and jazz standards.

Cygnet will wind down its pair of Noel Coward plays on Nov. 8, so if you haven’t seen “”Hay Fever” or “The Vortex” (both starring Rosina Reynolds), you’d better hurry. The “Coward X2” repertory performances will be followed on Nov. 27 with “A Christmas Carol: A Little Musical Ghost Story.” This adaptation by Sean Murray with original new music and an array of theatrical delights will entertain the whole family through Dec. 27 at Cygnet’s Old Town Theatre.

The Lamb’s recently rolled out the world premiere of a new musical adaptation of “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.” Audiences of all ages will want to return to Oz with Dorothy and her friends while this wondrous

story plays out at the Lamb’s Players’ Coronado home, through Nov. 16.

The Lamb’s Horton Grand’s revival of the popular “Mixtape,” an ’80s-based musical revue may get another extension this month.

North Coast Rep’s West Coast premiere of “Chapatti,” a heartwarming, two-character tour de force that celebrates late-blooming love, will continue to entertain audiences through Nov. 15.

San Diego Repertory Theatre will present “The Oldest Boy,” a bewitching and beautiful meditation on love and letting go, Nov. 12-Dec. 6. This artistic potpourri of music, dance, puppetry, and comic-drama will be directed by Sam Woodhouse.

The Welk Theater’s “Hello Dolly” – an endearing musical, based on the “The Matchmaker,” will have audiences singing along through Nov. 15. Then, on Nov. 20, Welk transforms “Meet Me in St. Louis,” a vintage movie musical, into a lively theatrical work. The nostalgic piece will play on through Jan. 31. “Welk Illusions” continues on select Wednesdays through Dec. 30.

The Museum of Contemporary Art is offering the public a rare opportunity to see contemporary art from private local collections. These artworks will remain on view through Jan. 10. Also on display in La Jolla, is “One Cannot Look: Graphic Wars,” an exhibition that features Goya’s seminal prints and other items from USD and the museum’s collection. The show will stay on through Nov. 29.

The San Diego Museum of Art is featuring a multi-sensory, culturally diverse exhibition on the intersection of art and music, featuring works by Picasso, Dali, and Matisse, and music by Beethoven and others. The show will run through Jan. 5, 2016.

Mingei unveiled an exhibition celebrating folk art from coast to coast.

“Made in America: Craft Icons of the 50 States” includes jewelry, pottery, baskets, and textiles, and will be on display through Feb. 21. “Procession,” a fantastical work that displays a parade of 130 figures, will remain on view throughout the year. A display of American Folk Art Walking Sticks will continue at Mingei through Jan. 10. A

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 65

business

The Business of Babies for Infertile Couples A new fertility treatment center conceives

BY TINA B. ESHEL

M

aking a baby isn’t what it used to be for many couples today. Before the advent of the modern infertility treatments, those who couldn’t conceive a baby the traditional way had few options, namely adoption. Since 1978, when the first “test tube baby” was born via in vitro fertilization (IVF), the business of making babies has grown into a hightech industry. TIME Magazine estimates that by 2014 it had grown into a $3.5 billion dollar-ayear business, “up four-fold from 25 years ago, according to a recent study from research firm Marketdata.”

“Overall, growth in the infertility market is projected to continue at a 3.6 percent annual clip, hitting $4 billion by 2018,” the article concludes.

With this rapid growth comes confusion for every couple navigating the myriad options to be found in the new infertility medical landscape. For couples or individuals struggling with infertility in San Diego, there’s a relatively new option in town. Since February 2015, the Reproductive Sciences Medical Center (RSMC) in Carmel Valley has been working with a variety of new options for clients struggling to conceive children.

Dr. David Harari is a board certified OB/ GYN and the president of RSMC, a physicianowned and operated fertility medical center, which offers comprehensive care and solutions for all fertility concerns, from infertility diagnosis, IVF, surrogacy, egg donation, assisted embryo hatching, egg and embryo freezing and more. Currently, RSMC spends much of its time serving international and gay and lesbian couples, two of the fastest growing consumer bases of the industry as a whole.

Dr. Harari’s passion for helping women and couples have their baby dreams come true is more than professional.

66 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

“My wife had infertility issues 28 years ago, and so [we] lived through this whole process. And what I saw was the evolution of the infertility industry over the course of my career … there’s a lot of issues with the whole process.

“It’s very fragmented … it’s very confusing to patients, it’s still very overwhelming for patients, it’s very expensive. All these things are true, and so I began to think about it from a doctor’s perspective like, what is really important in terms of the health of everyone involved, and I thought it was having better organization in the industry and having better oversight.”

RSMC was established to ease the complicated process for patients and to create an integrated model that brings all the infertility disciplines under one roof, explains Dr. Harari.

“The patients come here and get taken care of,” with complete medical oversight, he says.

Yingru Li, RSMC’s CEO says that the industry is screaming for a leading provider, “a SuperProvider” as she calls it, to manage and eliminate costs by creating an “industry of scale.”

Dr. Harari elaborates: “When you have efficiencies … you get an economies of scale and that’s one the ways you can control costs … By creating a process that can be duplicated … that’s how managed-care has taken hold.

“The other is outcomes and controlling the outcomes so that you don’t waste time and money,” he says. “In the infertility process, there’s a lot of time and money wasted. And some of that is inadvertent. But some of that can be avoided by proper counseling.”

For example, Dr. Harari says, if a patient seeking infertility services has “very poor ovarian reserves,” introducing counseling into her services can present options that she wasn’t initially aware of. “[She may have] practically less than one

With this rapid growth comes confusion for every couple navigating the myriad options to be found in the new infertility medical landscape. For couples or individuals struggling with infertility in San Diego, there’s a relatively new option in town. percent chance of sustaining a pregnancy even with assisted reproductive technologies likes IVF,” Dr. Harari says of this imaginary patient.

But with counseling, “she may [decide to] go to egg donation and use younger eggs and … carry the baby herself, if that’s what she chooses to do.”

A clear and concise transfer of information helps to reduce costs throughout the whole process, he concludes. A For more information about RSMC, visit their website at fertile.com.

DIVERSIONS

By Natalie Jacobs “Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict” Peggy Guggenheim had it all – a powerful family name, a future made of millions, and a colorful personal history. In the documentary “Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict,” filmmaker Lisa Immordino Vreeland charts Guggenheim’s life through stories of love affairs and turbulent relationships with some of the 20th century’s most influential artists. She’s romantically linked (through marriage papers or sordid rumors) to Samuel Beckett, Max Ernst, Jackson Pollock, Mark Rothko and Marcel Duchamp. Alongside her private escapades, Guggenheim was ammassing “one of the most important collections of modern art in the world.” Today, her collection lives at her famous Venetian palazzo. The film, showing at the Landmark’s Ken Cinema for one week starting Nov. 20, is described as “a feast of the greatest art of the 20th century, mixed with the wild and iconoclastic life of one of the most influential women in the history of the art world.” Showtimes at landmarktheatres.com.

“Genesis: Born with Tay-Sachs” When Cary Berman was diagnosed with Late Onset Tay-Sachs, he was one of 250 people in the world with the disease.

His new book charts his journey with this rare mutation.

“Something Sweet” Pumpkin crumb cake anyone?

“Serial, season 2”

“Jerusalem”

Serial is a podcast that shattered everyone’s expectations of what a podcast could be. Brought to us by This American Life producers Sarah Koenig and Julie Snyder, season two will investigate the mystery behind Bowe Bergdahl, the Army sergeant who left his base in Afghanistan only to be captured by the Taliban and held prisoner for five years. Now that you know the subject, you must continue to wait patiently for the release date.

The Reuben H. Fleet Science Center will premiere a new and incredibly timely National Geographic film “Jerusalem” in its IMAX theatre on Nov. 20. The movie promises rare access to Jerusalem’s most sacred sites and an intimate portrait of the city with stunning, neverbefore-seen aerial photography. There is no end date yet, but see this one before you forget about it! Details and showtimes at rhfleet.org/shows/jerusalem.

“Who Do You Love” The latest from “Good in Bed” author Jennifer Weiner – a story of love and second chances.

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 67

news Diller Teen Scholarship Now Accepting Nominations The Helen Diller Family Foundation is now accepting nominations for its 2016 Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Awards. Recognizing 15 Jewish teens with scholarships of $36,000 each for exceptional leadership and impact in volunteer projects, up to five teens from California and 10 from other U.S. communities will be acknowledged. Since its inception in 2007, the Diller Teen Award has recognized 70 outstanding young people, including San Diego’s Jacob Gardenswartz who was featured in the September issue of the Jewish Journal. To nominate a teen, complete the online form at dillerteenawards.org.

Mandelbaum Lecture Series Returns to CJC StandWithUs Condemns SJP

The Israel support/watchdog group StandWithUs is condeming Students for Justice in Palestine for hosting a “convicted murderer at their national conference.”

Held Oct. 9-11 at San Diego State University, the student group welcomed a conversation with Rasmea Odeh via online video call on the second day of the conference. According to the National SJP Facebook page, Odeh spoke about “her story and the importance of community organizing.”

In their statement of condemnation, StandWithUs notes that Odeh received a life sentence for “involvement in the murder of two Israeli civilians, but was released by Israel along with 76 others in exchange for an Israeli soldier who was being held captive in Lebanon.” The statement goes on to note that Odeh is also convicted of immigration fraud in the United States, where she stood trial for potential deportation in mid-October.

“SJP has the right to free speech but they should be widely condemned for bringing violent rascists to campus as role models for their members,” said StandWithUs San Diego Associate Director Sara Schoonmaker in the organization’s statement. Odeh’s supporters claim that she was wrongfully imprisoned by Israel.

The Center for Jewish Culture opens its fall programming season with two adult education morning classes this month. Professor Deborah Hertz will lead a free lecture called, “Manya Shochat, The Mother of the Kibbuzim, and her Traveling Guns” on Nov. 18 at the Coronado Public Library. The CJC will also host a two-week course called, “Meetings with Martine Buber: A Spiritual Journey,” with two different sessions available. The first session begins Nov. 23, and session two begins Nov. 30, both run daily from 1011:30 a.m. at the JCC. Tuition for members is $32.50. For information and to register, contact Ilene Tatro at (858) 362-1154.

David Sedaris Returns to San Diego

David Sedaris

UC San Diego’s ArtPower just announced a big show later this month. David Sedaris, the hilarious memoirist (who might as well be Jewish) will spend an evening with his many local fans at the Balboa Theatre on Nov. 22 Tickets, $40–55, can be ordered online at boxoffice.ucsd.edu, by calling the box office at 858.534.TIXS (8497), or on ticketmaster.com. Come early or stick around post-performance for Sedaris’ legendary book signing sessions with books available to purchase from Warwick’s. Additional program information can be found at artpower.ucsd.edu.

Professor Deborah Hertz

Reconstructionist Movement Lifts Ban on Intermarried Jews The Reconstructionist Rabbinical College (RRC) has revoked its “Non-Jewish Partner” policy, meaning it will no longer ban students from attending or graduating from the college based on whether or not their partner is Jewish. RRC is the first Jewish seminary to ordain students in interfaith partnerships as rabbis.

Rabbi Deborah Waxman, Ph.D., president of RRC, stated, “Our deliberations … led us to reaffirm that all rabbinical candidates must model commitment to Judaism in their communal, personal, and family lives. We witness Jews with non-Jewish partners demonstrating these commitments every day in many Jewish communities.”

Reconstructionism is the fourth-largest movement of American Judaism, headquartered outside Philadelphia with more than 100 affiliated congregations throughout the U.S. and Canada.

68 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

Holocaust Living History Workshop Kicks Off New Season

Wave of Terror Attacks Spread Throughout Israel Since September, there has been an onslaught of violence on Israeli civilians and military operations, “again prompting fears of a third intifada,” reported the Jewish Telegraph Agency (JTA) in early October. According to JTA’s timeline of the “lead-up to the unrest and the attacks themselves,” issues began Sept. 9, when Israeli Defense Minister Moshe Yaalon outlawed the Mourabitat, “an Islamist protest group that Israel says is violent, from the Temple Mount. Muslims, who revere the site as the Noble Sanctuary, protest the decision.”

Four days later, an Israeli security force raid ahead of Rosh Hashanah revealed “stockpiles of firebombs, pipe bombs and rocks that they fear will be used against Jewish worshippers,” and the next day, Israel police clashed with Palestinian protesters on the Temple Mount. By Sept. 18, clashes on the Mount, West Bank and eastern Jerusalem left dozens of Israelis, police officers and protesters injured.

To combat security concerns, Israel bannedd Muslim men younger than age 40 from visiting the Temple Mount and increased the penalty for stone throwing. Israel also relaxed “the open-fire orders for police officers combating stone throwers.” Even so, security forces discovered more weapons in another search.

By early October, Jewish-Israelis were the targets of several attacks, JTA reports. Rabbi Eitam and his wife Naama Henkin were killed by terrorists in front of their children. On another occasion, terrorists killed Aharon Bennett, 22, and Nehemia Lavi, 41.

“We are allowing our forces to take strong action against those who throw rocks and firebombs,” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said in response to calls for greater security throughout the country. “This is necessary in order to safeguard the security of Israeli citizens on the roads and everywhere. We are not prepared to give immunity to any rioter, inciter or terrorist anywhere; therefore, there are no restrictions on the action of our security forces.”

Reports of continued attacks are ongoing. Visit sdjewishjournal.com for the latest news out of Israel.

For the eighth consecutive year, the University of California, San Diego Holocaust Living History Workshop (HLWH) will host a series of educational events to broaden understanding of the past, foster tolerance, and preserve the memory of victims and survivors of the Holocaust. On Nov. 4, historian and author Norman Maimark will lead a workshop called, “The Holocaust in Comparative Perspective.” Central to the exploration will be the question “Was the Holocaust unique or is it a catastrophe comparable to other genocides?”

For more information, contact Susanne Hillman at hlhw@ucsd.edu or (858) 534-7661.

Hadassah to Host Wellness Lecture at Seacrest Village Chofit Hadassah, a North County chapter of the national Jewish women’s organization, will host a two-hour workshop titled “The Link is What You Think – the Secret Sauce of Optimal Peace and Longevity,” on Nov. 11 at 7 p.m. at Seacrest Village in Encinitas. The program is open to the entire community and will be facilitated by Michael Mantell, “a well-known, highly sought-after behavior transformation coach” explained Deborah Bridge, Hadassah programming chair. Mantell is known for “inspiring personal and professional development, changing expectations, perceptions and motivations for business leaders, athletes, individuals and families to achieve extraordinary outcomes,” Bridge continues. The program is free and space is limited. Refreshments will be served.

R.S.V.P. to hadassahchofit@gmail.com.

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 69

HAPPENINGS by tina b. eshel

I

t’s galas galore and more this November, with chances to celebrate Israel mixed in with good times, good laughs and good family fun. First off, a reminder about the annual StandWithUs: Festival of Lights Israel Matters gala to be held this year on Dec. 6, 5:30 p.m. at the Hilton La Jolla Torrey Pines.

Journalist Bret Stephens will provide the keynote address and important information will be shared about how student leaders and activists can stand up for Israel. For more info and to register, visit standwithus.com/israelmattersfolsd.

Young adults, your HebCalendar is full this month starting on Nov. 8 at 6 p.m. with In the Mix Lit’s Modern Jewish Cooking: Recipes and Customs for Today’s Kitchen. This is your chance to try Jewish soul food with a modern culinary twist at The Spice Way in Encinitas. Advance registration required; contact Ilene Tatro at ilenet@lfjcc.org or at (858) 362-1154.

The fun continues on Nov. 12 at 7 p.m. with Brushes and Forks: Feed Your Soul, Jewish Family Service’s premiere fundraising social for young Jewish professionals. With live music, craft brews and specialty cocktails, schmooze for a good cause at the San Diego Art Institute. Go to jfssd.org or call Ashley Harrington at (858) 637-3051.

NextGen invites you to Turkey, Tango and Tapas Happy Hour on Nov. 19 at 6:30 p.m. and their Latke and Vodka Hanukkah Party on Dec. 5 at 7 p.m. Email Dan Fleisher at danf@ jewishfederationsandiego.org for deets.

It’s Family Day at the San Diego Museum of Art on Sunday, Nov. 8. Explore the Museum through activities created specifically to get young people and adults interacting with art together.

Recommended for children ages 6-12, learn more at sdmart.org/ calendar/family-drop-day-43. Another fun family option is Fantasy on Ice San Diego at the new outdoor ice rink at Liberty Station in Point Loma from Nov. 19 thru January 2016. Get your early pass to winter at fantasyonicesd.com.

Take the whole family on Dec. 6 to JCC’s 32nd annual Hanukkah Happening, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. San Diego’s largest Hanukkah celebration is complete with kosher and dairy food, jumpy jumps, games and arcades and holiday shopping. Get your tickets at lfjcc.org/ preschool/hanukkahhappening.aspx.

Everyone else, if it’s good times you want, it’s good times you’ll get Nov. 6-7 when Hot Buttered Rum comes to play their blend of soul and bluegrass to Winston’s Beach Club in Ocean Beach. Get your $15 tickets to their San Diego concerts at hotbutteredrum.net. From Nov. 6-15, enjoy San Diego Beer Week, 10 days of local, craft beer and brewing culture and fun with events around the county. Find your favorite drinking spot at sdbw.org.

Finally, it’s a laughing season on Nov. 27 at 7 p.m. at the Last Comic Standing Live show at the Balboa Theatre in Downtown San Diego. Tickets start at $26 and are available now at sandiegotheatres.org/last-comic-standing-live-tour. A

70 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

BEST BETS

Mark your calendar.

STANDWITHUS ISRAEL MATTERS GALA Dec. 6, 5:30 p.m.

Hilton La Jolla Torrey Pines standwithus.com/israelmattersfolsd

BRUSHES AND FORKS: FEED YOUR SOUL Nov. 12, 7 p.m.

San Diego Art Institute 1439 El Prado, San Diego, CA 92101 jfssd.org

LAST COMIC STANDING LIVE Nov. 27, 7 p.m.

Balboa Theatre 868 4th Ave., San Diego, CA 92101 sandiegotheatres.org/last-comicstanding-live-tour

HANUKKAH HAPPENINGS Dec. 6, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center 4126 Executive Dr., La Jolla, CA 92037 lfjcc.org/preschool/ hanukkahhappening.aspx

SENIOR CENTERS Lawrence Family JCC 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla Contact Melanie Rubin for details or to R.S.V.P. (858) 362-1141.

Tai Chi/QiGong for Older Adults Mondays, 10:45 a.m.- 12:10 p.m.

Cost: $5 members, $6 non-members.

Film Fans & Favorites Mondays, 1:30 p.m.

Cost for refreshments: $3 members/$2 nonmembers.

Oceanside Senior Center 455 Country Club Lane, Oceanside Contact Josephine at (760) 295-2564 North County Jewish Seniors Club Third Thursday of each month, 12:30 p.m.

Join us to hear speakers and/or entertainment at our monthly meetings.

Light refreshments served. Visitors are welcome.

Veterans Association of North County 1617 Mission Avenue, Oceanside CA 92058.

Contact Marc Poland (858) 232-1645.

Jewish War Veterans meetings Second Sunday of each month, noon.

San Diego North County Post 385.

Seacrest Village 211 Saxony Road, Encinitas Call Jon Schwartz at (760) 516-2001 Monthly Senior Dance First Friday of every month, 1 p.m.

Refreshments and appetizers from our kosher kitchen will be provided. Free and open to the public.

JFS University City Older Adult Center 9001 Towne Centre Drive, La Jolla Contact Aviva Saad for details or to R.S.V.P. (858) 550-5998.

Thanksgiving Celebration Wednesday Nov. 25 10 a.m.

Reservations requested.

On the Go excursions A program of Jewish Family Service, On the Go provides transportation to events throughout the county for homebound seniors. For information, please call Jo Kessler at (858) 637-7320.

Hello Dolly, Welk Resort Theatre, Escondido Sunday, Nov. 15, depart at noon Featured songs include, “It Takes A Woman” and the title song, “Hello, Dolly!” Cost: $65, due Oct. 30 Annual Hanukkah Party, The New College Avenue Center Friday, Dec. 11, depart at 11 a.m.

Kosher lunch and entertainment with Second Avenue Klezmer. Cost $20

by Dec. 1.

Thanksgiving Celebration: Luncheon and Entertainment JFS College Avenue Center 6299 Capri Drive, San Diego, CA 92120 Contact Sara Diaz (858) 637-3270 for details on any events or to R.S.V.P. Wednesday, Nov. 25, noon JFS No. County Inland Center at Adat Shalom 15905 Pomerado Road, Poway Contact Jodi Rudick (858) 674-1123 for details.

Most Activities are free to members, and lunch is $7 with reservations.

Movie: Unbroken Monday, Nov. 9, 9 a.m.

Fitness Fusion and Feeling Fit Club, followed by The People’s Court discussion at 11 a.m., hot kosher meal and the film about the experiences of Louis Zamperinin, an American pilot held by the Japanese during WWII, at 1 p.m.

Robin Williams, Inside the Actor’s Studio Monday, Nov. 30, 1 p.m.

JFS Coastal Club at Temple Solel 3575 Manchester Ave., Cardiff by the Sea Contact Jodi Rudick (858) 674-1123 for details. R.S.V.P. for lunch by Monday at 12:30 p.m. All activities are free and lunch is $7.

Showcase: Identity Theft Tuesday, Nov. 10 11a.m.

Matt Davis from the Identity Theft Resource Center will teach you how to protect yourself.

Showcase - Spirituality and Caregiving Tuesday, Dec. 1, 11 a.m.

Understand the importance of staying spiritually active while caregiving.

JFS College Avenue Center 6299 Capri Drive, San Diego, CA 92120 Contact Sara Diaz (858) 637-3270 for details on any events or to R.S.V.P. Latin Singers Concert Friday, Nov. 6, time tbd This talented group of people started out as a group of friends who found out they all had a passion for music, and a love of Latin songs.

College Avenue Center Fall Art Show Thursday, Nov. 19, 10:30 a.m.

A delightful exhibition of unique arts and crafts by College Avenue Center artists.

Thanksgiving Celebration: Luncheon and Entertainment Wednesday, Nov. 25, noon

Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 71

SHABBAT EVENTS

SYNAGOGUE LIFE SPECIAL EVENTS Congregation Beth Am: Who am I? Introduction to Genealogy Nov. 4, 18 and Dec. 2, 6:30 p.m.

5050 Del Mar Heights Road, San Diego, CA 92130 betham.com Beth Jacob: 75th Anniversary Celebration Nov. 8, 5:30 p.m. cocktail hour; guest speakers begin at 6:30 p.m.

4855 College Ave., San Diego CA 92115 Reservations at (619) 287-9890; bjsd.org Ner Tamid: Rummage Sale Nov. 8, 9 a.m.

15318 Pomerado Road, Poway, CA 92064 nertamidsd.org/event/rummage-sale.html Ohr Shalom: Kehillatit Service and Community Dinner Nov. 13, 6:15 pm.

2512 Third Avenue, San Diego, CA 92103 (619)-231-1456 www.ohrshalom.org Temple Solel: Havdalah Nights for Members 45+ Nov. 14, 2015, 7:30 p.m.

3575 Manchester Ave, Cardiff by the Sea, CA 92007 templesolel.net Tifereth Israel: TICO Concert Nov. 15, 3 p.m. and Nov.17, 7:30 p.m.

6660 Cowles Mountain Boulevard, San Diego, CA 92119 tiferethisrael.com Chabad of Poway: Film, “Behind Enemy Lines�

Nov. 22, 6:30 p.m.

Cost: $20 general admission, $36 preferred seating, $15 student, military and seniors 16934 Chabad Way, Poway, CA 92064 chabadpoway.com

Temple Beth Shalom Yale Strom & Hot Pstromi Concert November 22, 3 p.m.

208 Madrona St., Chula Vista, CA 91910 (858) 344-5632 to R.S.V.P.

THANKSGIVING & HANUKKAH Temple Beth Shalom Turkey Roast: Schmooze, Meet and Eat Nov. 26, 3 p.m.

208 Madrona St., Chula Vista, CA 91910 (858) 344-5632 to R.S.V.P. bethshalomtemple.com Temple Solel: Chanuplex Dec. 5, 4 p.m.

3575 Manchester Ave, Cardiff by the Sea, CA 92007 templesolel.net Beth Israel: Latkes, Latkes, Latkes!

Dec. 6, 7:45 a.m.

9001 Towne Centre Drive, San Diego, CA 92122 Contact Sheldon Krueger at (858) 900-2598 to volunteer cbisd.org/event/latkes-latkes-latkes-2/ *Interested in having your event featured?

Contact tinamarieb@sdjewishjournal.com. Submissions are due by 15th of the month for the next issues.

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Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 73

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Check your answers at: www.thefamousabba.com/TOLDOS

It is stated in Yigdal: "There did not arise in Israel anyone like Moshe again" - try to remember that Moshe is unique in that he was able to speak "face to face" with HaShem.

UNDERSTANDING PRAYER

Share with your family two things that happened to you that made you think about Hashem.

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WEEK IN REVIEW

DOWN 1. ‫( בן‬27:20) 3. ‫( מצא‬26:32) 5. ‫( מה‬26:10) 7. ‫( אשה‬28:1) ACROSS 2. ‫( חלון‬26:8) 3. ‫( צאן‬27:9) 4. ‫( טל‬27:28) 6. ‫( אכל‬25:34)

Complete the crossword by translating each Hebrew word into English. Use the parsha reference for help.

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CROSSWORD

• Yaacov going to his father for a blessing. (27:18) • Yitzchak and Rivka davening for a child. (25:19)

Act out these scenes with friends and family:

PARSHA SKIT ideas

Zeal: When you want to do a mitzvah, start doing it as soon as you can!

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Find the bold italic words on this sheet.

The unused letters spell a secret message!

Yitzchak and Rivka didn’t have any children so Yitzchak davened to HaShem and Rivka became pregnant with twins. The first child was born red and they called him Esav and the second was called Yaacov. Esav became a hunter and Yaacov learned Torah. Esav sold his birthright to Yaacov for lentil soup. There was a famine and Yitzchak went to the land of the Plishtim.

HaShem told Yitzchak that He will bless him, make his offspring like the stars of the heaven and give them the land. Avimelch, King of the Plishtim, told Yitzchak and Rivka to leave because Yitzchak became great. Esav married and didn’t live with the same values as his father and grandfather. Yitzchak was old and wanted to give a blessing to Esav, but Rivka told Yaacov to dress up like his brother and go to his father for the blessing. Yitzchak gave the blessing to Yaacov and when Esav found out, he wanted to kill Yaacov so Yitzchak told Yaacov to flee to Lavan and to take one of Lavan’s daughters as a wife.

H

P

A

R

I

S

E

H

T

V

DRIDUS

IFFNOGER

OFNOENTRA AEERROSFFHT

Which one is different?

HANDS

SMOOTH

‫ה‬ x‫ו‬

‫ע‬ –‫ל‬

‫ז‬ +‫ג‬

‫לח‬ ÷ ‫יט‬

‫א‬

‫ט‬ ÷‫ט‬

80

70

60

50

40

30

20

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

weekly chinuch podcast - almost 100 posted!

CHINUCH + Parsha < 5 minutes www.thefamousabba.com/podcasts

400 300 200 100 90

‫א ב ג ד ה ו ז ח ט י כ ל מ נ ס ע פ צ ק ר ש ת‬

‫וט‬ +‫ה‬

In Parsha Toldot, who was the King of the Plishtim?

gematria

• The barber cut your hair ½” too short.

• The basketball league left you off all of the teams.

Can you judge these situations favorably?

BIRD

VOICE

you be the judge

GOATS FLOCK

(Hint: the moments before Yaacov blesses his sons, Ch. 27)

spot the difference

• The Grand Canyon - 277 miles long, up to 18 miles wide and attains a depth of over a mile.

• Victoria Falls - the world’s largest waterfall with a width of 5,604 feet and height of 354 feet.

Wonders of Hashem

(Hint: daily prayer)

ITNGH

IRMGONN

(scramble)

2 KISLEV 5776 PARASHAT TOLDOT

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ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macauley

ADVICE asksadie@aol.com

Time and Money Today, my darling Jewish San Diegans, we look at mommy on overload, and the will. Let the screaming begin!

THE COOKIE CRUMBLED Dear Marnie: Today I finally blew. I got a notice from my daughter’s Day School that all goods at the upcoming bake fair have to be homemade! I know it’s a little thing, but I went ballistic. Marnie, my day reads like a to-do list for Wonder Woman, starting with getting three kids off to school, running to work, coming home to clean-up duty, making dinner, paying bills, spending quality time with the children, shlepping to the market, dishes.

My husband tells me to “chill.” Right. I’m stressed and stretch to the max. We don’t have the money for regular help in the house. The “homemade” put me over the edge! As a working mom, what choice do I have? Help!

– Going Crazy MARNIE SAYS: “Homemade??” You’ve given me a scary vision of Martha Stewart planting her own sugar cane. (Not that there’s anything wrong with it, for those of you who can make a babka without a breakdown.) As for cleaning, there’s enough dust around me to allow Lawrence of Arabia to take a shortcut through my living room! Underneath the “homemade” brouhaha, I hear you “crumbling” not over a few cookies, but the crushing weight of doing it all. Worse, you’re not only getting the crumbs, you’re still sweeping them up. For you, and those like you, I’m offering a few survival skills for Supermoms on over drive.

First, get comfortable with “un-perfect.” So what if the bed isn’t made? If there’s dust on your mantle? Or the dishes aren’t done – for a while?

You can’t “do it all.” Quit trying and prioritize.

Simplify! Toy chests, for example, are vehicles for disaster, as Benjy rummages through and tosses.

Shelves for “stuff” makes it easier for our little ones to pull out and put back. Ditto for advance meal planning, bed-making and other chores.

Delegate! Divide the load, to keep you from overload. Call a meeting. Schedule and assign must-do tasks to your family. Even little ones can do simple, safe chores. Set up rewards (a pat, a pizza, a gold star or my son’s personal favorite, a Porsche – right) and punishments (no allowance, video rental, whatever) you all agree on. If they 76 SDJewishJournal.com l November 2015

poop out, no bail out.

Trade and barter: If you sew at night, barter with a pal to car pool the kiddies. Ditto for babysitting.

Guilt OD: OK, yes. In our 3,000 years of DNA there’s a strand for “nurture” and a mega-ton one for “guilt.” Time to quit it. Guilt sends foul messages. That old 1950s Main Street sitcom of mom dusting in pearls while dad dispenses advice in the den is a vanilla myth, especially today with finances in a mess, and downward mobility. Great moms come in all stripes and schedules, as do rotten ones.

That said, I’m not sure the bake sale qualifies as “a little thing.” I encourage tzedakah and “volunteering” even if it means a slice and bake moment (or in my case, asking a pal who isn’t likely to poison people to help). Participating in school events, beyond signing a check isn’t just about building new Hebrew school library. It’s about showing our children we’re involved; taking time to work with them toward a goal; and modeling participation in their community. Personally, I’d put it higher on my “to do” list than Tidybowling.

WILL-ING AND ABLE Dear Marnie: I’m a widower who’s recently revised my will and this has caused a lot of upset. I have two grown daughters. The older has been married for years and wants for nothing. The younger left her job in PR to pursue her “dream” of being a comedienne. She supports herself with odd jobs and a few gifts from me. In re-doing my will, I left her a larger portion of my estate (about 6040). The total is about $700,000 with my house, insurance, bonds, and savings. My older daughter was furious, even though I explained that I felt her sister will need it more. I ask you, Marnie, is my decision so wrong?

– Sam T MARNIE SAYS: Sorry Sammy. Marnie only deals in “wrong” when discussing things that are completely indefensible – like why a one-pound box of chocolate can add five to my thighs. Frankly, you could leave your fortune to a cantaloupe and while I’d think you’re a seed short, I’d defend your

Frankly, you could leave your fortune to a cantaloupe and while I’d think you’re a seed short, I’d defend your right to leave your bounty to that melon ball. However, if you’re asking whether your decision is wise? In your case, no. right to leave your bounty to that melon ball.

However, if you’re asking whether your decision is wise? In your case, no.

There are more myths about money than there are about the Loch Ness Monster (and some are scarier). Whether these come from heartfelt values or the fear that a tribe of goats will bore through your safe and feast upon your C-notes, they affect how we deal with the world and loved ones. Examine your beliefs. Next to each, add your feelings.

Picture it. Pesach, 2040. You’re on a cloud.

Look down. What scene would you like to see? My hunch is, they would be together around the table passing cranberries and loving anecdotes about “grandpa.” That, friend ... is your goal.

That said, ask yourself, do I want to be “right” or wise? True, we each hold principles that aren’t bendable. This isn’t one of them. Here’s why: Wills often represent more than money. The myth is that your last gift signals love (true or not, doesn’t matter).

Most important! You have enough. If you were dividing a recliner, I’d say leave the seat to Laughing Lady. But you, Sammy, can RIP knowing you’ve provided soup into the next millennium for the younger and a tiara for the older.

You, papa, are in the enviable position of being both prudent and fair.

So...be. A

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Heshvan • Kislev 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 77

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This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Theatre!

Treat your loved ones to season tickets, with 4-play packages starting as low as $110—or choose an Old Globe gift certificate, available in any amount.

(619) 23-GLOBE (234-5623) www.TheOldGlobe.org Top: The cast of The Metromaniacs, part of the Globe’s upcoming 2016 season. Photo by Scott Suchman, courtesy of Shakespeare Theatre Company.

Above, from left: Robert Christopher Riley in The Royale; The cast of The Comedy of Errors (photos by Jim Cox); Carmen Cusack in Bright Star (photo by Joan Marcus); Robert Dorfman, Ron Orbach, and Hal Linden in The Twenty-seventh Man (photo by Jim Cox).