San Diego Jewish Journal Oct. 2015

OCTOBER 2015 l TISHREI • HESHVAN 5776

SENIORS:

Bridging the generations gap

Charitable Giving Options @ Jewish Community Foundation

GOLDA MEIR RETURNS TO HER BALCONY

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“One of the Best Films of the Year.”

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In Germany, 15 years after World War II, one young man forces an entire country to face its past.

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SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL

CONTENTS October 2015

Tishrei/Heshvan 5776

32

SENIORS: Seacrest Village’s volunteer program recently brought residents to read to children. The experience left everyone smiling for days.

Plus, we check in with Seacrest @ Home.

40

SENIORS: From WWII nurse to health advocate, in one lifetime.

46

CHARITABLE GIVING: The Jewish Community Foundation has rebooted its revolutionary Endowment Leadership Institute and that means a lot to local organizations.

48 6 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

CHARITABLE GIVING: San Diego’s Digital Gym wants to redefine movie-making.

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: 30 ISRAEL:

Dispatch from D.C. the day the fight against the nuclear deal died.

34 SENIORS:

Details on how HomeShare expands aging-in-place opportunities for older adults.

36 SENIORS:

Health IT entrepreneur connects tech to clinical expertise.

38 SENIORS:

A Holocaust survivor finally writes his memoir, with help from SDSU’s Osher Institute.

44 SENIORS:

A retired teacher has become a children’s book author.

50 CHARITABLE GIVING:

Meet the mother-daughter duo bonded by blood and the IDF.

52 FEATURE:

After taking a year off, Federation’s Options is back with a whole new outlook.

54 FEATURE:

What was it like to be a Jewish GI invading a concentration camp? An archive of letters tell the story.

57 FOOD:

Split pea soup and childhood memories.

62 THEATER:

44

Golda’s Balcony and history repeating.

64 FILM REVIEW:

A timely review of “Watchers of the Sky.”

68 BUSINESS FEATURE: Dental practice celebrates 10 years in La Jolla.

Monthly Columns 10 The Starting Line 20 Parenting 22 Israeli Lifestyle 24 Dating 26 Aging 28 Spirituality 80 Advice

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858-523-7904

Around Town 16 Our Town 18 The Scene 74 Events In Every Issue 12 Mailbag 14 What’s Up Online 66 What’s Goin’ On 70 News 73 Diversions 77 Shabbat Sheet

60 FEATURE:

The Israel Philharmonic returns to San Diego.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 7

METRO FLOORING QuaLIT y y Ou caN s TaNd ON

www.sdjewishjournal.com October 2015 • Tishrei/Heshvan 5776 PUBLISHERS • Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss

Metro Flooring has over fifty years of successful experience in the flooring industry! We offer the most complete selection of carpet, natural stone, tile, wood, vinyl, and window coverings in San Diego.

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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Natalie Jacobs CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus ASSISTANT EDITOR • Tina B. Eshel ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak ADVERTISING & OFFICE MANAGER • Ronnie Weisberg INTERN • Jackie Cohen CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tori Avey, Betsy Baranov, Linda Bennett, Abby Walker, David Ebenbach, Judith Fein (Senior Travel Correspondent), Michael Fox, Jennifer Garstang, Amanda Kelly, Brie Stimson, Pat Launer, Curt Leviant, Sharon Rosen Leib, Andrea Simantov, Jon Schwartz, Dave Good, Marnie McCauley ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Nancy Segal (Account Executive), Alan Moss (Palm Springs) SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL (858) 638-9818 • fax: (858) 638-9801 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204 • San Diego, CA 92121 EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING: sales@sdjewishjournal.com CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: publisher@sdjewishjournal.com ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR: calendar@sdjewishjournal.com

SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204, San Diego, CA 92121. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2015 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

#SDJewishJournal 8 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

SanDiegoJewishJournal

THE WOM EN ’S EVENT

Sunday, November 1

11:30am-2pm | Manchester Grand Hyatt Join us for an afternoon of connection, delicious food, and inspiration from a dynamic panel of Jewish women.

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Get your tickets at jewishinsandiego.org/options For more information, please contact Lisa Kalal at lisak@jewishfederationsandiego.org or (858) 737-7123 | jewishinsandiego.org/options Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 9

THE STARTING LINE by Natalie Jacobs

EDITOR’S LETTER editor@sdjewishjournal.com

Think Like a Child

C

hildren are magical. You already know this, if you’ve spent any time around them. Their imagination, curiosity and openness is also the subject of many scientific studies and books about unlocking creativity. The wildly popular Freakonomics podcast (spun-off from the blockbuster book of the same name), has an episode called “Think Like a Child” wherein Stephen Dubner explores all the ways kids think differently than adults and posits that cultivating a child-like sensibility could open up solutions to much-labored-upon adult problems.

Coincidentally, shortly after I listened to that Freakonomics episode, a friend of mine, a firstyear teacher in Chicago Public Schools, told me she had just attended a training session about “divergent thinking” or thinking outside the box.

“Think of as many uses for a paper clip as you can,” she said over Gchat, Gmail’s instant messaging app. “A normal person would think of 15-20. A genius in divergent thinking would come up with 200. And 98 percent of kindergarteners tested in the genius category.

“So crazy,” she concluded. We had started our chat talking about the new Google logo, saying that it looked playful and childlike. After I mentioned the Freakonomics podcast and she talked about her divergent thinking seminar, we decided that the childlike look and feel of the new branding was intentional on Google’s part, because kids have all the best ideas. And Google, by extension of their presumed branding intentions, is a company about great ideas (and taking over the world, but that’s another story).

This kind of child-like thinking is contagious.

Back in August, a small group of Seacrest Village residents spent a couple hours at Temple Solel.

They were there to read to Camp Solel kids, aged 3-5. As you’ll read in the story on page 32, these five seniors were energized and inspired and left overflowing with memories and ideas after just a short visit with the curious little creatures.

What I heard over and over in each independent interview with four of the five participants was a steady refrain of “more,” “more,” “more,” and “more.” Social isolation of seniors is a serious problem, and one small solution may be to find more ways for them to interact with kids, who’ll undoubtedly rub off some of their endless energy.

Entrepreneurs, especially those in the trendy technology start-up space, as Google’s Sergey Brin and Larry Page once were, are some of the loudest proponents of thinking like a child. On page 36, you’ll meet one emerging entrepreneur who is putting the pieces together on a new company that, when it launches in January, will make homes safer for seniors to age into, by marrying technology to clinical expertise in a cost-effective manner. That is divergent thinking indeed.

Our charitable giving section also touches on new ways to address old problems this month, as we take a look inside the Jewish Community Foundation’s revolutionary Endowment Leadership Institute. Although they don’t put it specifically this way, the program grew out of childlike thinking. By attacking the question “How do we make endowments interesting?” in an unfettered way, JCF leaders created a local program that has generated more than

Mark Your Calendar Everyone’s favorite Jewish rap-reggaerock-and-roller Matisyahu is coming back to San Diego. Ten years after his breakthrough album “Live at Stubbs,” the always-changing Jewish musician 10 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

has embarked on a new tour to take a moment to look back at how far he’s come. He’ll be in town on Nov. 15 at 7 p.m. at the Balboa Theatre. Tickets are on sale now.

What I heard over and over in each independent interview with four of the five participants was a steady refrain of “more,” “more,” “more,” and “more.” Social isolation of seniors is a serious problem, and one small solution may be to find more ways for them to interact with kids, who’ll undoubtedly rub off some of their endless energy. $200 million in planned gifts for Jewish organizations locally, nationally and across the globe. From our quiet little Jewish community, this program was taken to the national level by the Harold Grinspoon Foundation.

It’s incredible the things we can accomplish when we open our minds to new ways of thinking, and this issue is full of good ideas to get you going. A

JE

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we’re listening let us know what’s on your mind

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204 San Diego, CA 92121

OPTIMISTIC NAIVETÉ Dear Editor: Somehow with Israel on the verge of being annihilated with just one Iranian nuclear bomb, your magazine to inform Jews in San Diego completely ignores any mention of worldwide anti-Semitism which is running out of control. It’s like you have your heads buried in sand. The disastrous Obama/ Kerry deal with Iran doesn’t even rate a “mention;” the refugee problem in Europe will inflame many fascist parties to become more powerful and their main rhetoric will be even more anti-Semitic, and your silence is deafening.

Your magazine is still pre-occupied with social affairs and liberal articles that cater to unfortunately so many American Jews who live in a fantasy world of “never never land” of neverending peace, when the real world is a much more violent place.

I suggest you should get a copy of the London Jewish Chronicle and see how a real publication informs Jews in England not only of social matters but also the threats around the world against them. Today, more than ever before, Jews are living “on the edge” of survival. Also you should print reviews from Camera, AIPAC, WJC and others to let the ignorant amongst your readers to see what is really going on in the world.

Malcolm Lewis San Diego

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“She would risk it all…to save Israel!”

GOLDA’S BALCONY A play by William Gibson

Broadway’s longest running one-woman show Starring the incredible FRANCINE!

T

his is the compelling Tony-nominated edge-of-your-seat Broadway play about the life of Golda Meir, from impoverished Russian school girl to Prime Minister of Israel.

“RIVETING”—The New York Daily News “POWERFUL!”—The New York Times “EVERYONE SHOULD SEE GOLDA’S BALCONY!”—Elie Weisel Francine! as Golda Meir

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Thursday, 11/05/15 7:30 p.m.

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Saturday, 11/07/15 7:30 p.m. & Sunday, 11/08/15 2:00 p.m.

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FOR TICKETS, VISIT: www.TicketsForPlay.com or call 619-202-4503 (group discount for 15 or more)

Produced and Directed by Jay Kholos Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 13

what’s up on sdjewishjournal.com MARTIANS: Some day, we may be able to live on Mars, but first we need to know if our human bodies can handle the years-long trip.

Meet one Jewish scientist who is living in a simulated Martian reality to help answer those questions.

YALE STROM EVERY DAY: Yale Strom may be the busiest man in San Diego. His specialty is in connecting disparate cultures through music, mostly. This time, he’s focusing on Somalia with a one-night performance at the SD REP. Oh yeah, he’s also working on a documentary film about a pioneering socialist.

JEWISH JOC:

The Dodgers might not be your first choice in conversation topics if you’re a loyal San Diego fan, but the young Jewish superstar Joc Pederson is worth a least taking a look at.

FALL FLAVORS:

Although initially intended to be the perfect outdoor-dining dish for Sukkot, this jeweled veggie orzo with wheatberry is a great way to take advantage of the season’s stunning flavors.

14 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

IN DEFENSE OF A HIGHER MINIMUM WAGE: The Jewish Labor Committee thinks a higher minimum wage is a good idea.

The President of the JLC offers his two cents in an op-ed on our website. Search “minimum wage” in the blue search bar (next to the magnifying glass icon) and add your thoughts in the comments.

WHAT YOU MISSED: If you didn’t make it to this year’s Yom Limmud, take a look at our recap story to see what you missed. And mark your calendar for next year’s day of learning, which always takes place at the JCC at the end of August. Never too early to plan.

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Hear about all our web exclusives first: Like us on Facebook.com/ sandiegojewishjournal and follow us on Twitter @sdjewishjournal

UPCOMING EVENTS FOR 2015

Spring 2016 Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 15

Top left to right: Frances Lobman and Amy Hart • Fran and Phil Ginsberg, Nadine Finkel, Rachelle and Charles Jagolinzer.

Fun for All at the JCC

our TOWN

BY LINDA BENNETT AND BETSY BARANOV PHOTOS BY DEREK BERGHAUS

16 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

The San Diego Jewish Film Festival had its summer premiere at the JCC in August. A private reception was held for underwriters before the showing of “Raise the Roof.” Among those enjoying the evening were Leon and Helene Brottman, Karen and Bob Zeiger, Chuck and Suzi Gold, Selma and Ron Farkas, Ellis and Bonnie Diamond, Renee Feinswog, Peri Silverman, Gary and Linda Keslik, and Susan Levin.

The 11th annual Yom Limmud (San Diego’s Community Day of Learning) presented by The CJC also brought a crowd to the JCC. Among the devoted learners were Jane Zeer, Larry and Jodi Stolove Bartlet, Matt and Barbara Meis, Sean Edelstein, David Zilberberg, Ava Kurnow, Rabbi Lawson, Rabbi Rosenthal.

Anniversaries...

Happy 64th wedding anniversary to Lee and Amnon Ben-Yehuda!

Birthdays...

Happy 92nd Birthday to Betty Glazer!

Happy 87th birthday to Burt Nestor!

Happy 95th birthday to Lillian Mallen!

Happy 94th birthday to Loraine Stern!

Happy 80th birthday to Ted Cashuk!

Mazel Tov...

On July 20 at the Aria Hotel in Las Vegas, Robert Curiel of Roberts of Del Cerro won the Lifetime Achievement Award from Wella, a color company, for the time, dedication, and passion for the work accomplished in 45 years. Congratulations!

Bottom from left to right: Suzi and Chuck Gold, Sylvia Wechter • Carolynn and Gary Crooks • Edward and Pamela Carnot, David Wollner, Sarah Scott Feldman, Marsha Wollner, Louis Vener.

SAN DIEGO

Sunday, December 6, 2015 | 6 PM Hilton La Jolla Torrey Pines

Israel Matters

Lighting the Way for Student Leaders and Activists Who Want to Stand Up for Israel

Keynote Speaker

Bret Stephens

Underwriters

Emcee

Honorees

Dr. Bob and Mao Shillman

Elon Gold

Nina and Dan Brodsky

To Register Or For More Information

www.StandWithUs.com/IsraelMattersFOLSD 858.598.8220 | SanDiego@StandWithUs.com

Dietary laws observed.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 17

the SCENE

BY EILEEN SONDAK, PHOTOS BY STUDIO M/MICHAEL SPENGLER PHOTOGRAPHY

Jewel Ball The Jewel Ball is the crown jewel in La Jolla’s social season. Ever since 1946, the ladies of Las Patronas have put on this black-tie affair to raise money for local charities, and this year’s bash was “Magnifique.” Taking their cues from that French theme, the gala committee transformed the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club into an elegant replica of France with the Love Lock Bridge spanning the pool, lush garden designs, and Cancan dancers entertaining in the outdoor dining room.

French delicacies, such as crepes and pâté were among the numerous hors d’oeuvres guests enjoyed during the cocktail hour. When they entered the dining area for a lavish sit-down dinner, they were greeted by twinkling lights and splendid floral arrangements. The menu included Boeuf Bourguignon and pan-seared salmon, accompanied by fine wines. Of course, there was dancing (to the beat of the Wayne Foster orchestra).

This year’s beneficiaries of the Jewel Ball included the Alpha Project for the Homeless, the Boys and Girls Clubs of Greater San Diego, the Old Globe Theatre, and the University of San Diego, just to name a few. Kudos to everyone involved with this fabulous evening.

18 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

Clockwise from the top: Bassam and Cari Massaad with Susie and Ed Piegza • Dean and Maureen Weber • Lisa Betyar and husband Karl Walter • Karin and Gary Eastham with Magda Marquet • Cari Massaad and Annette Bradbury.

Nominate a Teen $36,000 TIKKUN OLAM L E A D E R S H I P AWA R D S

Nominations Open The 2016 Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Awards will recognize up to five Jewish teens from California and an additional ten from across the United States for exceptional community service and leadership.

Help identify and recognize outstanding Jewish teens in the community.

Nominate: August 24 – December 1, 2015 www.dillerteenawards.org The Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Awards are funded by the Helen Diller Family Foundation, a supporting foundation of the Jewish Community Federation and Endowment Fund Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 19

MUSINGS FROM MAMA

by Sharon Rosen Leib

PARENTING srleib@roadrunner.com

Playing College for Laughs

I

love nothing more than a hearty, shoulder-shaking laugh. My genetic predisposition to depression combined with the degradations of years of teenageddaughter eye rolling makes life too weighty to bear without humor. Laughter bonds families, forges friendships and puts strangers at ease.

Fortunately, we live in an era with widespread access (YouTube, HBO, Comedy Central, etc.) to supremely talented comedians of all colors and religions. My family’s personal favorites include Chris Rock for his staccato riffs on racism; Key & Peele for their mixed-race mélange of absurdity and political satire; Jerry Seinfeld for his post-Catskills Jewish shtick; Sarah Silverman for being a potty-mouthed, strong-yet-vulnerable Jewish woman; Bill Maher for his sharp-tongued political incorrectness; and last but so not least, Amy Schumer for being a sexually-liberated feminist capable of both taking on rape culture in the funniest way possible and eliciting tears when pleading for gun control. Life would be dimmer without them.

I fear colleges may be dimming our kids’ comedy IQs by squelching humor that challenges, offends and provokes. I was horrified last year when a group of Berkeley students almost blocked Bill Maher from giving a commencement speech honoring the Cal free speech movement’s 50th anniversary. Maher’s retort “I guess they don’t teach irony in college anymore” rang sadly true.

Heaven forbid college kids become so mired in political correctness they can’t take a joke!

Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld and other comedians no longer perform on college campuses because student hypersensitivity compromises their best material on race, religion and gender. These guys don’t need to kowtow to PC collegiate buzz kill.

Nor should they. Kids need to learn to lighten up and laugh at themselves and their cultural biases.

Otherwise, how will they learn to cope when, as Rock puts it, “life punches you in the face”? Humor packs a powerful counterpunch, breeds resilience and should be part of every life-survival tool kit.

Alas, many college administrators fail to support envelope-pushing humor. In “The Coddling of the American Mind” (Atlantic magazine, September 2015), Greg Lukianoff 20 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

We, and the colleges to which we pay outlandish tuition, need to prepare our kids for real life where (mercy me) they eventually will be the butt of a joke or insensitive remark. and Jonathan Haidt address the disastrous consequences of colleges protecting students from words and ideas their nervous systems allegedly can’t handle. The piece argues that college administrators exacerbate the sad state of campus mental health by acceding to student demands to reprimand anyone who even accidentally offends.

I readily admit that humor can upset people and hurt feelings, including mine. I can’t stand it when Bill Maher makes fat jokes about Chris Christie – not because I’m a fan of New Jersey’s Governor but because I have an overweight sister and am touchy on that subject. But I’m not about to dismiss Maher – he’s too relevant.

Seth McFarlane, however, really turned me off when he made a borderline anti-Semitic, Jewscontrol-Hollywood joke at the Academy Awards two years ago. Another sensitive personal issue since I come from a family of Hollywood Jews and loathe that stereotype. So guess what? I didn’t go see McFarlane’s movie Ted 2!

No way around the fact that intentionally provocative and/or crude humor will offend people. But we MUST NOT attempt to inoculate our kids from biting humor. We, and the colleges to which we pay outlandish tuition, need to prepare our kids for real life where (mercy me) they eventually will be the butt of a joke or insensitive remark. We need to teach them to take it standing up and jab left with a pithy quip.

Laughter may not always be the best medicine but like empathy, it’s essential to human survival. A

FYI

The JCC and Shalom Baby are offering parents a fourweek class on successful ways to manage misbehavior through “positive discipline.”

Led by Parenting Coach Debbie Zeichner, LCSW, this experiential parenting course will provide parents effective tools to manage challenging behaviors.

Classes will take place Tuesday evenings, 6:45-9:15 p.m., beginning Oct. 13. Visit debbiezeichnerlcsw.com/ services/upcoming-schedule/ to register.

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• Income Tax Preparation • IRS and State Audit Representation • Litigation Support Services • Forensic Accounting Services • Business Consulting Services Since 1983

3070 Racetrack View Drive Del Mar, CA 92014 858.461.0115 lkatz@lkatzcpa.com www.lkatzcpa.com

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THANK YOU!

JCC BOX OFFICE: (858) 362-1348 www.jcompanysd.org Thank You to our Season Sponsors: Melissa Garfield Bartell & Michael Bartell Monica Handler Penner & Amnon Gires and Family Show Generously Underwritten by: Gary & Jerri-Ann Jacobs David & Dorothea Garfield Theatre • Potiker Family Arts & Culture Complex Viterbi Family Galleria • Foster-Ratner Performing Arts Education Center Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center • JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla, CA 92037-1348

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 21

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE andreasimantov@gmail.com

Birthday

Y

ears ago, my husband’s 60th birthday turned into a real bust when his visitingfrom-overseas children wouldn’t commit one hour to sit for a family photo with his other children and their kids. I’d hired the photographer and confirmed with all of the respective participants but was forced to cancel.

I felt angry. No, furious. But they aren’t my children and blowing one’s stack is NOT a cool move in any second-marriage, especially during the early sucking-up years. And because the evident hurt and humiliation plastered across my partner’s face quickly sent me into love/ protection mode. I wanted him healed. I made light of it and we dined in a too-expensive restaurant. The wait staff delivered his gift along with the birthday parfait: a wide-neck guitar – suitable for stubby fingers – draped in ribbons and lollipops. Never mind that he never held a guitar in his life, doesn’t read music and is near-spastic in the rhythm department. He was deprived in his youth and I wanted my big manchild to know that it is never too late to learn.

Never too late to aspire.

As my own 60th birthday approached, I issued early warnings that sent everyone around me into a tailspin: It was NOT to be ignored, forgotten, sloughed-over with uncomfortable wrist-flips and pronouncements of “Age is only a number” or “For religious Jews, it is the date of death that is important!” I would have none of that. Nevertheless, I felt compassion for those who claim to love me; we don’t have a large social circle, no extended family to speak of and a surprise-party would be comprised of mainly acquaintances. A little silly, n’est pas? A cruise or elegant getaway costs serious money.

Considering the budget, we could embark on a romantic camping trip near the Egyptian border by Taba where ocean access is free: Sleeping bag and butane burner costs extra.

But he surprised me. Blew me away and 22 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

knocked me into humble-mode this morning with a plain white envelope with a photo of my mother clipped to the flap. I haven’t seen Mom in almost three years because of distance and finance. Inside was an e-ticket to Johannesburg where three daughters and their families reside.

He explained that my 86-year-old mother and younger sister were flying over from New York so I could turn 60 surrounded by people I love and miss every moment of the day. He promised that although there was not enough spare cash to include him or my children who live in Israel, we would party-hearty upon my return from the African love-fest.

The once-upon-a-time rift concerning the failed portrait-sitting has since dissipated into thin air; what was I so angry about that I nearly allowed bitterness and tension to seep into the fragile entity known as Family? As I pack my one suitcase with coloring books, spices from the shuk, toddler-size Shabbos shirts and lace

dresses for Yom Tov bought on sale, I intuit that love is less about doing things right than, in fact “being.” Or being there.

Photographs are good, phone calls keep the lines of communication open and Skype is a miracle. But none of these tools smell of rugelach baking, and touching a plastic screen is not the same as burying one’s head into the belly of a giggling baby.

While I’m not quite sure about that ageequals-wisdom philosophy, a few things do appear clearer even as my eyesight and ability to retain facts deteriorates. Asking “What does she want” can reveal a lot more than “What should I do?” My sometimes doddering, often silent husband has an uncanny ability to send my aching-heart to places that my touted-but-flawed intellect has trouble reaching. He has taught me with patience and a low voice that being with people we love will trump fanfare every time.

Hands down. A

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PLAYING WITH MATCHES by Jennifer Garstang

DATING jenscy@gmail.com

How to Flirt

I

write a lot about dating and relationships (shocking, I know!), but I rarely get the chance to play matchmaker in real life.

So I’m very pleased to say that my little sister recently started a new relationship, and I get to take all the credit. It began on my family’s last visit out to her college, when a certain sweet, smart, handsome young man had gone out of his way to attend her recital, and then accepted my invitation to dinner with the family (point one for the wing-woman!). But when we got to the restaurant, I pulled my sister aside.

“What are you doing?” I exclaimed. “You like this guy, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied. “A lot.”

“Then flirt with him!”

“But… I don’t know how!”

She’s not alone. Many people (including my own boyfriend) acknowledge that they feel completely incompetent at the art of flirtation.

Fortunately for my sister, and now, for you, Dear Reader, I am an undisputed expert on the subject.

Tabloids and dating how-to books would have us believe that there is one “right” way to flirt. But that is utter bubkes. However, we do need to start by understanding the real goal of flirting.

One of the first big mistakes that flirtation novices make is to misunderstand their goal.

Many believe, for instance, that the goal is (to put it frankly and in yiddish) shtupping. Selfproclaimed “pickup artists” are examples of individuals who have taken this misconception to heart. Far more common (and less extreme) is the notion that the goal of flirting is to establish a romantic relationship. Flirting may open the opportunity for a date or relationship, and may even be a precursor to asking someone out, but when flirting, you should actually do your best to set aside those other goals. Otherwise, you run the risk of coming on too strong, appearing “desperate,” or being too afraid to flirt at all!

So what is the real goal of flirting? Well, it’s surprisingly simple: to engage another person, and let them know you find them attractive.

There are lots of ways to do this, ranging 24 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

Flirting may open the opportunity for a date or relationship, and may even be a precursor to asking someone out, but when flirting, you should actually do your best to set aside those other goals. from direct (like giving a compliment) to subtle (body language)… just don’t be so subtle that no one can tell you’re flirting! At the very least, listen actively, smile, turn your body toward the other person, and regularly hold eye contact for at least a few seconds at a time. If your branch of Judaism and comfort level allows, you can also use physical contact. A gentle bump with your arm, brushing hands, even briefly leaning your head against their shoulder can convey you are interested in a romantic way. Just be mindful of their body language, too. If they stiffen or pull away, that’s a strong indication that the flirtation isn’t welcome, at which point it’s time to move on with no harm done.

Which brings us to the key to successful flirtation: when flirting, you aren’t asking or expecting anything from the other person. It’s okay if they don’t reciprocate, and that doesn’t mean anything bad about you or them. Worst case scenario, your interaction will be a bit awkward.

But even if the attraction isn’t mutual, it can still be a positive experience for both people. Why? Because flirting is a genuine compliment (unlike unwelcome catcalls from creeps on the bus) that should leave both parties feeling pleased and confident.

So relax! The truth is, you do know how to flirt, even if you don’t know you know it. Just get out there, have fun, and give it a try! A

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Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 25

OLDER, WISER, BETTER by Jon Schwartz

AGING jonaschwartz@hotmail.com

Dutiful Daughters

I

want to have a daughter. I have always wanted to have at least one daughter, even before I fully understood how children were made. My desire for a daughter stemmed from watching my younger sister and dad’s relationship over the years. My first memory of their special connection was when I was about 7 years old, my sister was 4. Our family was playing the board game Pretty Pretty Princess. In this game, players spin to advance around the game board while attempting to collect a complete set of plastic jewelry by landing on spaces associated with each piece. As players collect their pieces, they are supposed to wear them.

It was my dad’s turn and he spun and landed on the earrings space. Thus, he gladly played along and put on the plastic clip-on earrings.

As soon as he did this, my sister began laughing hysterically. I can still picture tears rolling down her face and onto her lip from laughing so hard.

After the incident with my dad’s earrings, she did not want to finish the game. Rather, she proceeded to dress my dad up in all the game’s jewelry, put makeup on him, and then take a Polaroid picture with the two of them smiling.

Today, more than 20 years later, this image is framed as a famous picture in my parent’s house.

I bring up this story, and my desire for a daughter, for a couple of reasons. First, I see how my sister, even today, absolutely adores my dad. It is easy for me to romanticize having that same special bond one day with my as-yet makebelieve daughter. Secondly, I plan and hope to grow old one day. If I am fortunate enough to do so, statistically, my (hopefully) future daughter is more likely to take care of me when I am in need. A recent study by a Princeton researcher found that daughters step up twice as often as sons, to take care of an aging parent, regardless of job status, child-care duties and other variables. Sons on average spend about 5.6 hours per month caring for their aging parents where daughters spend 12.3 hours per month.

26 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

The question then becomes – due to an aging baby boomer population, lower birth rates amongst the baby boomer cohort, and increased longevity – will we have enough daughters to care and advocate for our rapidly aging society?

My fear is that for many, the answer will be no.

For these folks, the burden of caring entirely for oneself lies directly on them. Setting up appointments, grocery shopping, miscellaneous errands, coordinating proper medications, transportation, arranging appropriate living quarters, establishing social connections and managing basic activities of daily life may all be compromised without the help of a “daughter.”

Here I’m placing “daughter” in quotation marks because in order to meet the needs of our rapidly aging society it will take much more than just female offspring and their apparently ingrained sense of familial responsibility to care for their aging parents. The responsibility of care needs to be shared between daughters, sons, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, friends, neighbors, volunteers and geriatric care managers.

As children, my sister and I grew up in a very loving environment. Our parents advocated for our wants and needs. However, they were not alone in doing so. My parents had remarkable help in raising us by our extended family, teachers, and coaches to provide additional guidance along the way. Unfortunately, as people age, it seems as though their network of advocacy shrinks down, possibly to just a daughter. The reality is, we need more “daughters.” We need more people to pay forward their ability to be a part of the team to care for an aging family member, friend and neighbor.

I expressed earlier my desire to one day have a daughter of my own. I realize, although my biology physically makes the gender of my child, it’s really out of my hands. But what I do have a little bit of control over is how I inspire people of all genders and family ties to become a “daughter” for a loved one in need, me included! A

FYI

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“We want to be treated as equals,” said Terry WalkerDampier, a homecare worker from Modesto, Calif., who cares for two clients with disabilities. “The new rules mean almost $300 more a month for my family, and it means that homecare is being recognized as real work.” The ruling comes after a lower court decided earlier this year to halt the implementation of overtime pay and other labor protections for in-home caregivers, which was supposed to go into effect Jan. 2015.

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San Diego • Tel Aviv Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 27

THE ARTIST’S TORAH by David Ebenbach

SPIRITUALITY ebenbach@netzero.com

From Order to Chaos and Back Again

C

reation stories have at least two purposes. First, they help us think about how everything came to be, literally and/or metaphorically; second, given that we are creative beings, these stories also help us think about how to make new things ourselves.

Genesis, which we return to this month, has some important things to say on the subject.

Specifically, creativity seems to be rooted in a back-and-forth relationship between control and chaos. When G-d is about to bring the universe into being, we see that everything is unformed and void (Gn 1:2). Thus, G-d’s job is to both fill the space and to give it form – to organize it. Indeed, organization is one of the main tasks of the first couple of days; divisions are made between light and darkness, day and night, upper waters and lower waters, seas and land. This reminds me of my experience (on a much smaller scale) when my writing desk is so messy that I have to get it under control before I can even start writing. Or, more significantly, many people have to have some kind of structure – an idea, an assignment, a clearly-defined need or problem – before they can begin creating. You have to make some order first, set up an environment in which things can then get interestingly messy.

Indeed: as Genesis teaches us, things do get messy again. After all the organizing, we get plants of every kind and trees of every kind (1:12) – a landscape apparently too busy to allow for names and classifications in these few verses. And then we do get some fairly orderly celestial bodies – sun and moon, each with their role – but then it’s back to swarms of creatures and untold birds (1:21) and creeping things (1:23). Wherever life comes in, control gets lost. G-d even creates people to name things and watch over things, but of course we know how that story ends. Humanity, G-d’s crowning creation, is half-order and half-disorder.

Things go back and forth between these two poles in this creation story, and it’s easy to see how that would happen in the creative process more generally. You set up a productively structured environment in which to do some work, and

28 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

Wherever life comes in, control gets lost. G-d even creates people to name things and watch over things, but of course we know how that story ends. Humanity, G-d’s crowning creation, is halforder and half-disorder. then the work ends up more complicated, richer, more interesting than you had originally imagined, and the process gets out of control.

Then you try to get a handle on what you’re doing, to make it more purposeful and more coherent. Then things get loose again. And so on.

The final piece, if it’s really good, is probably a mix of things – it works, but it’s half-wild, too.

The lesson: if we were to pursue only order, things would become organized but lifeless; if we were to pursue only chaos, nothing we did, no matter how passionate, would make any sense. It’s the space between these places where interesting and powerful things happen. As we move around in this space, challenging, uncertain, ever-changing, sometimes frightening, we should remember another thing that we hear in this chapter: we were made in G-d’s image. Therefore, we create like G-d creates. Whenever we fret over a new project or idea that seems to be getting too unwieldy or (perhaps) not unwieldy enough, whenever we feel like we’re swinging between extremes, we ought to tell ourselves that we are participating in a time-honored and sacred experience, one perhaps as old as the universe itself. A

 This

month’s Torah portions Oct. 3: Chol HaMo’ed Sukkot (Exodus 33:12-34:26) Oct. 10: B’reisheet (Genesis 1:1-6:8) Oct. 17: Noach (Genesis 6:9-11:32) Oct. 24: Lech Lecha (Genesis 18:1-22:24) Oct. 31: Vayera (Genesis 23:1-25:18)

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ISRAEL

On the Nuclear Deal Trail As the Senate blocked a vote on the Iran Nuclear Deal, some key detractors shared hugs, rabbis looked toward a new focus, and politicians pontificated

BY RON KAMPEAS, JTA; EDITED BY NATALIE JACOBS

J

ust before Rosh Hashanah, inside congressional offices in Washington D.C., there were soft-spoken recriminations, tears, even the occasional consoling hug. Outside, under a blazing sun, there were whoops, full-throated cries against appeasement and condemnation of President Barack Obama’s “pink kaleidoscope.”

The final throes of the battle over the Iran nuclear deal were delivered with volume, fury and in the quiet agonies of surprising new friendships riven by the deal.

On Sept. 9, meetings in congressional offices between American Israel Public Affairs Committee activists and staffers for Democrats who had supported the Iran nuclear deal often devolved into tears, according to those present. In at least one case, an AIPAC staffer was so inconsolable that a congressional staffer reached out spontaneously for a hug. The message from AIPAC, staffers said, was one of “disappointment.” AIPAC would not comment on the content of the meetings.

Some 300 Orthodox Union-affiliated rabbis joined the 1,000 or so AIPAC activists in the lastminute lobbying effort against the deal.

“When you have an opportunity to scream in dissent and you are silent, you have done wrong,” Rabbi Shalom Baum, the president of the Rabbinical Council of America, said at a news conference.

Meanwhile, on the West Lawn outside the Capitol, several hundred demonstrators at a rally organized by the Tea Party Patriots vocally protested the deal in 90-plus degree heat. The headliners included Donald Trump, Sarah Palin and Phil Robertson, the patriarch of reality TV’s “Duck Dynasty” show.

“Only in an Orwellian Obama world full of sparkly fairy dust blown from atop his unicorn as he’s peeking through a pretty pink kaleidoscope would he ever see victory or safety for America or Israel in this treaty,” Palin said.

Trump, the front-runner in Republican presidential polls, sounded some similar notes.

“They rip us off, they take our money, they make us look like fools, they don’t want Israel to survive,” he said of the government

30 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

in Tehran. Of the government in Washington, Trump said, “We are led by very, very stupid people. Very, very stupid people.”

By Thursday afternoon it was over: Senate Democrats blocked a vote on the deal, effectively handing Obama victory on his signature foreignpolicy initiative. Republicans failed to garner the 60 votes necessary to end debate on the measure and bring it to a vote. Voting against the motion to end debate were 42 Democrats (including both Senators from California) – one more than needed.

Implementation of the agreement announced in July between Iran and six major powers to limit Iran’s nuclear program in exchange for the easing of sanctions is now underway.

“This vote is a victory for diplomacy, for American national security, and for the safety and

security of the world,” Obama said in a statement.

On Sept. 11, the U.S. House of Representatives approved a bill against the deal by a 269-162 majority. But the number was not enough to override a presidential veto and, in any case, the Senate filibuster rendered the House vote merely symbolic.

AIPAC tried hard to find some victory amid the failure of the effort to kill the nuclear deal.

“Congress and the executive branch must now maintain constant vigilance concerning Iranian compliance with the deal and be ready to move quickly against any Iranian effort to advance its nuclear quest,” AIPAC said in a statement.

Obama told rabbis in his annual Rosh Hashanah call that he was ready to meet with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and move forward with enhancing Israel’s security in the post-deal reality.

“My hope is to have a long discussion with Mr. Netanyahu about these issues when he comes to the United Nations during the General Assembly, or immediately after that,” Obama said.

Netanyahu had suspended U.S.-Israel discussions on security cooperation until he was certain that opponents of the deal in the U.S. Congress could not defeat it. Israeli Ambassador Ron Dermer, hosting guests at a subdued holiday reception at his residence on Sept. 10, appeared ready to move on.

“Despite the strong disagreement we have over the Iran deal, I am quite confident that America and Israel will deepen cooperation in the years ahead to address the enormous challenges we will continue to face together,” Dermer, who had attended a friendly Rosh Hashanah reception the previous evening at Vice President Joe Biden’s residence, said to his holiday gathering.

As they were preparing their High Holiday sermons, prominent rabbis had the Deal on their minds.

Rabbi Stuart Weinblatt of B’nai Tzedek synagogue in suburban Maryland, who had been a leader in opposing the deal, was among those who attended Dermer’s reception. He told JTA he had no plans to address the issue.

“Everyone is so immersed in the issue that this is one time people want to hear a spiritual message and step away from all of the craziness of what’s been going on and all the intensity,” he said.

If there will be preaching about Iran, said Rabbi Jonah Pesner, the director of the Reform movement’s Religious Action Center, “What you will hear is the continuation of what has been a clear rabbinic call for a return to thoughtful discourse, restoring civility in the Jewish community and restoring the deep love and partnership between Israel and the United States.” A

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SENIORS

Joining Generations Volunteer program offers Seacrest residents a chance to spend quality time with kids

BY NATALIE JACOBS

A

t Seacrest Village, there is a unique opportunity for both residents and the broader San Diego community to volunteer in a variety of ways. The volunteer program started eight years ago and has focused on recruiting and retaining outside volunteers who offer a variety of time, talent and treasure to the North County residents. With her relatively new position as volunteer liaison for Seacrest Village, Sheryl Seltser is working to increase the number of volunteers who help out at Seacrest but she’s also creating new opportunities for residents to volunteer based on their own expertise and areas of interest.

Seltser started on that mission by asking the residents what they’re looking for in volunteer activities and the response gave her a clear course.

“Reading with children,” Seltser says. “That was one thing that the residents really were looking for.”

In mid-August, five Seacrest residents spent a morning at Temple Solel where they read to Camp Solel kids aged 3 to 5. After story time, the Seacrest volunteers, all women, ate lunch with the campers and then the group sang Shabbat songs with Solel’s cantor.

“It was a fantastic experience for us,” Claire Winer says. “The kids were positively wonderful, with their big eyes. They’re looking at you and wondering about you and asking questions about you. And they were very receptive to anything we said or did.”

Winer has been living at Seacrest for two years. She started the knitting club almost as soon as she arrived, and she serves as a greeter to give tours and make new residents feel welcome. But she was looking for more ways to get involved.

“When I first came here, I wanted to go across the street [to the Ecke Family YMCA] and read to the kids,” she remembers. “I wanted to get involved outside of here, I felt it would be good for me. But it never came to pass.”

She mentioned the idea to other Seacrest employees and when Sheryl Seltser was looking for volunteer program options, the idea made its way to her.

“I think it’s good for the kids and it’s good for us,” Winer says, “It makes us feel young.”

There seems to be something magical about the pure energy of children.

Winer remembers one boy in particular from the class.

“Ryan he was called. He had eyes like this,” she touches her pointer fingers to her thumbs to make two big circles and places her hands over her eyes. “He just looks like...through you,” she says, still amazed at the boy’s expressive curiosity.

“We definitely need to incorporate more [volunteer opportunities for residents] because there are only so many residents you can bring to one outing,” Seltser says.

There was a waitlist for the Camp Solel reading program. With the new 32 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

Claire Winer

school year underway, Seltser has begun to work on more reading events at Temple Solel and hopes to expand to other locations in the Encinitas area.

Prior to coming to Seacrest, Seltser was working in event production for nonprofits. She and her husband relocated to San Diego to be closer to their adult children who now have children of their own. She says her work at Seacrest is much different than the event world where she spent 25 years.

“It’s extremely rewarding. Everyday coming in, well I’m here part time but when I do come in, having the opportunity to see the residents and share some of my day with them is just so rewarding. To have them bring a smile on my face and I can bring a smile on theirs.”

Joan Frosh, another of the five volunteer readers, is a retired teacher.

“I don’t miss teaching, I’m glad to be retired,” she says with a laugh, “but I miss the children.”

At Temple Solel, she was reminded of her time as a kindergarten teacher.

“My biggest impression was that they were so well behaved! I was very impressed.”

While the students were attentive during the reading, they were bold, talkative and eager to get to know the Seacrest seniors during lunch.

Frosh recalls: “I was wearing a gold chain with an anchor on it and [a little girl that I was sitting next to at lunch time] held onto the anchor. She picked it up and said ‘You must like jewelry.’ I said ‘Oh I do, do you?’ And she said ‘I do but I don’t have any.’ I thought, I wish I could take the anchor off and give it to her!

PHOTOS COURTESY SEACREST VILLAGE

“I miss the little kids,” she concludes.

Barbara Diamond came to the program with a background in tutoring and reading (the topic of her dissertation) and a professional history as a therapist. She has been living at Seacrest for a year, after spending five years taking care of her ailing husband.

“When I came here, I saw all these grandmas and grandpas who have no little children on their laps to read to,” she says. “Some of them are blessed with families and they can do it that way, but for those of us that don’t have young ones, I thought it would be a great idea for both the recipient and the giver to gain from having a child on your lap and looking up at you like ‘tell me more grandma!’ [I thought] that it would be a rewarding experience and it was.”

The whole program lasted an hour, and for Diamond, it opened the door to all kinds of possibilities for more “follow up” as she called it. Things like drawing pictures or acting out scenes instead of finishing the book and hurrying off to lunch. But for now she’ll settle for the program to happen on a regular basis.

“When you have children looking forward to you, it’s such a thrill,” Diamond says. “I loved the idea that the kids were very anxious and interested and couldn’t wait for the rest of the story. That was very exciting to me to feel needed and wanted in a specific way again.”

Bertha Fox, the fourth volunteer I was able to interview and newest resident of the group, also came to the program with a wealth of experience.

She spent nine years as a tutor for dyslexic adults.

“That was one of the highlights of my life,” Fox says, “because it made such a difference to them. I was amazed at how many adults grew up who could not read.”

For Fox, this program was gratifying in a different way and she enjoyed the opportunity to interact with “very precocious” kids.

“These moments of being together and sharing are truly invaluable,” Seltser says. “It is our vision at Seacrest Village to create more of these intergenerational programs for our residents.”

While she works to expand the resident volunteer programs, Seltser is also always recruiting community members to volunteer at Seacrest Village.

“We have volunteers who come from the community [from] all age groups. They can be retirees, college students, Bar or Bat Mizvah students.

We’ve had groups of Girlscouts, Hillel, teen volunteer groups. We’ve had groups from the Helen Woodward Center who come in and do some pet therapy visits.” A If you have a talent you wish to share with the Seacrest community, contact Sheryl Seltser at sseltser@seacrestvillage.org. *Editor’s note: You may remember last October’s cover story about Seacrest Village’s “Table 14.” The piece profiled a weekly discussion group spearheaded by a vibrant woman named Sybil Brown. When I interviewed Joan Frosh, a member of the Table 14 discussion group, for this month’s story, she informed me that Sybil Brown passed away in late August. Frosh said Brown had a good life and that she, at age 93, was “ready to go.” It was a pleasure to meet Ms. Brown and to share a part of her story with our readers. Our thoughts and condolences are with her family.

Mazel Tov to Seacrest @ Home The two-and-a-half-year-old home care agency Seacrest @ Home was voted into the “Top 5 Home Care Agencies” in this year’s Union-Tribune reader’s poll. That’s out of about 300 home care providers in the city and county, notes Director of Home Care and RN Kelli Denton.

One reason the young agency might already be so respected in the community is their commitment to their workforce.

Most of the 75 caregivers currently on their roster are per-diem employees, but, in accordance with new labor laws, they all qualify for sicktime benefits.

Top to bottom: Barbara Diamond; Joan Frosh; Bertha Fox.

For every 30 hours worked, caregivers acrue one hour of sick time, Denton explains. Caregivers are also paid for overtime and double time as shifts require.

With their success, Seacrest @ Home is growing at break-neck pace.

“We’re constantly in hiring mode,” Denton says.

To ensure that all caregivers are properly trained, Denton recently instituted a mentorship program that pairs veteran caregivers with new hires. The veteran receives a bonus for his/her involvement in the program.

On the client side, Seacrest @ Home offers scholarships based on need.

Kelli Denton can walk you through the specific qualification requirements for that. Contact her at kdenton@seacrestathome.org, (760) 942-2695 or (760) 632-3715.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 33

SENIORS

Aging in Place in the Sharing Economy HomeShare offers seniors and responsible renters a chance to meet in the middle

BY TINA B. ESHEL

T

here’s a scene in “The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe” of the Narnia series where Lucy Pevensie, the youngest of the four children, meets a faun. As surprised as she is to meet the half goat, half man, Mr. Tumnus, in the mythical land of Narnia, he is equally perplexed by where she comes from: “SpareOom.” SpareOom, of course to us Narnia fans, is really the “spare room” in the big house on the countryside where the elderly professor lives alone with plenty of space for the Pevensie siblings to stay after they’re displaced by war.

While generations past and fictional families were accustomed to shared quarters, lots of people in the U.S. today are living with excess space. For seniors who wish to grow old in their own homes, big empty houses can be a challenge to afford and maintain. Instead of moving out, why not get a roommate?

For 14 years, ElderHelp has been helping seniors to do just that, says Shanika Webb, the organization’s HomeShare coordinator. This roommate-matching program connects people “who are looking for affordable housing” with those who “have a spare room in their own home and would like someone to move in with them.”

It’s Narnia’s SpareOom for the real world.

HomeShare offers two separate options: Rental Exchange is an opportunity for homeowners to supplement their incomes by renting out a spare bedroom. Rent in this case is typically less than market price, especially in San Diego’s tough rental market.

HomeShare’s Service Exchange program is an option for homeowners who wish to receive some assistance around the house in exchange for a room. Such help may include housekeeping, cooking, transportation, grocery shopping, errands, yard work or other assistance. In this case, rent is extremely reduced or sometimes free.

The HomeShare program is facilitated by trained social workers who register, screen and match seniors with individuals, and sometimes couples, who are seeking affordable housing.

34 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

JFS College Avenue Center Makes Home at Temple Emanu-El

These arrangements can last for some time, from a few months to several years.

“The top three needs apart from income … are usually help with transportation, which can include driving to the doctor, the post office, running errands, going grocery shopping,” Webb says. Senior homeowners can also request that their roommate help with some light housekeeping, for example vacuuming if the homeowner has mobility issues, and cooking, such as one meal a day, to make sure their nutritional needs are met.

Most of the seniors who use the HomeShare program live in the city of San Diego and surrounding communities like El Cajon, “but it really just depends due to our outreach efforts.”

Webb says they’ll speak to anyone who is interested in having ElderHelp come on site, and recently they gave a presentation at Jewish Family Service to spread awareness about ElderHelp’s services, including HomeShare.

Although they are placing renewed outreach effort around HomeShare, ElderHelp has been supporting seniors since 1973. Their goal is to provide services to allow seniors to “remain independent and live with dignity” in their own homes by offering grocery shopping, transportation, help with minor home repairs and safety inspections, daily check-in calls or visits budget and even gardening. A Call the ElderHelp HomeShare Manager at (619) 284-9281 ext. 12 or learn more at elderhelpofsandiego.org.

If you didn’t already make adjustments in September, consider this a friendly reminder – the Jewish Family Service College Avenue Center has moved to Temple Emanu-El, just a mile and a half down the road.

The popular kosher kitchen will also remain open at the new location – with hot kosher lunch and a soup and salad bar available to members MondayFriday, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

“We look forward to welcoming our longtime members and new participants alike to the College Avenue Center’s new home, just north of the 8,” said JFS CEO Michael Hopkins in a statement.

“Working with Temple Emanu-El is part of Jewish Family Service’s ongoing goal of making new community partnerships and connections with increased syngergy and services for our clients.”

“We’re delighted to build this partnership with Jewish Family Service to serve the needs of our community,” said Rabbi Devorah Marcus. “Everyone at Temple Emanu-El is looking forward to creating new programming that allows us all to participate in engaging, fun, and intergenerational activites as an extended family.”

Temple Emanu-El is located at 6299 Capri Drive, San Diego CA 92120. For more info visit jfssd.org/cac or call (858) 637-3270. You can also read about their events monthly in our Senior events page, this month on pg. 75.

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Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 35

SENIORS

Solving a Problem HealthPicket merges technology with clinical expertise to help seniors age in place safely

BY NATALIE JACOBS ILLUSTRATION BY DAVE KENDRICK, PROVIDED BY HEALTHPICKET

T

here are two things we know to be true: the U.S. population is getting older and technology is getting more affordable.

Those two things were not necessarily related until the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (affectionately and disparagingly known as Obamacare) started proliferating buzz words like “patient-centered care” and “electronic health records.” The idea is to harness those two truths to change the healthcare industry – hospitals, doctors and insurance companies – one new regulation at a time. Insurance exchanges are a shift toward a consumer-driven marketplace that is intented to introduce more competition into a traditionally monopolistic situation. The reconfiguration of Medicare/Medicaid payment structures seek to move away from a pay-perprocedure model to a pay-for-people-to-get-better model. Electronic health records are supposed to empower people to take control of their own medical histories as they migrate around the system throughout their lifetimes. On each layer, entrepeneurs are finding different ways to fill the chasms that such shifts leave behind. And as 10,000 people are projected to turn 65 each day for the next 14 years, there is lots of incentive to combine services for seniors with technology to address old problems in new ways.

Mike Minton saw the changes coming. A graduate of the University of California, San Francisco, Minton has spent more than 30 years working in healthcare IT. Now, he’s starting a company called HealthPicket to help seniors, especially those with chronic illnesses, age comfortably in their own homes.

In his last corporate job, as he called it, he was managing an infection control software intended to help hospitals reduce their infection rates.

Prior to that, Minton worked on consulting projects that introduced him to remote patient monitoring, which, in one application, allows patients to do routine tests like check their blood pressure at home and then send the results directly to a clinician.

Remote patient monitoring is becoming more prevalent as the Centers for Medicare and 36 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

“I know a fair amount about medicine,” he says, “but I can’t put together mom’s got this complaint, she’s taking these kinds of drugs, she needs to go see this doctor because this is probably happening.

Most of us, when we see this going on, we’re kind of lost sheep.”

Medicaid Services (CMS) require hospitals to address readmission rates by charging penalties for anyone they admit back within 30 days. The monitoring programs are instituted for those 30 days and then the hospital is off the hook.

As he was doing market research and healthcare IT work, Minton’s own parents were aging and falling ill in Washington, D.C. and he, in Orange County, Calif., found it difficult to provide the support they needed. He says they kept going in and out of the hospital, mostly through the ER. “I know a fair amount about medicine,” he says, “but I can’t put together mom’s got this complaint, she’s taking these kinds of drugs, she needs to go see this doctor because this is probably happening.

Most of us, when we see this going on, we’re kind of lost sheep.”

Minton’s idea for HealthPicket, which is working to make its initial launch in January, is to combine the technology of remote patient monitoring with a service component – HealthPicket clinicians will be assigned a caseload of “subscribers” (not patients) to monitor.

“It’s not just vital signs,” he says. “It’s just normal activities of daily living. Those are early indicators that something’s going on. It doesn’t mean you know exactly what it is, but it means that something’s going on and maybe you need to check.”

During his research for HealthPicket, Minton heard from clinicians that family members who were involved in a hospital’s pilot programs didn’t want the remote monitoring systems taken out after the 30 days, because, in many cases, they were installed in the home of a senior who wanted to remain independent but could use the help of a clinical eye watching over him or her. That’s not yet the responsibility of hospitals.

HealthPicket subscribers will receive 5-7 wireless sensors to place around their homes, in places like a refrigerator door, medicine cabinet drawer, toilet flusher, and on their beds. The assigned clinician will then work up a profile on the subscriber to determine what is to be considered normal activity on each sensor. Then, when data deviates from that normal, clinicians will send an alert to whomever the subscriber has dedicated. From there, the person can take the clinician recommendation to his or her own doctor, along with the data from the wireless sensors.

For now, people are on their own when it comes to monitoring their daily health patterns and remembering anything noteworthy to mention during doctor appointments. Or, they go straight to the emergency room when problems are allowed, unwittingly, to worsen. Minton says that accurate at-home monitoring can save the healthcare system as much as 20-25 percent, while, hopefully, increasing the independence and quality of life for people who choose to age in their homes.

“Because they catch problems earlier, they aren’t admitted to long term care, they don’t go to ERs, don’t go to hospitals. Because you have a warning early enough to say this might be happening, go see your doctor.” A Learn more about Minton’s start-up HealthPicket at healthpicket.com.

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Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 37

SENIORS

HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR’S MEMOIR

BEGAN AT SDSU

PHOTOS COURTESY OLLI AT SDSU

Osher Lifelong Learning Institute gave Louis Pechi the motivation to get started

BY SUZANA NORBERG

P

lato said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” In the spring of 2011, Louis Pechi’s fellow classmates in the Memoir and Life Writing course at the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) at SDSU couldn’t possibly have known what battle he had fought, and won. But they soon would. As a representative for the Institute, I got in touch with Pechi to learn the backstory on the memoir that came from his time in our class.

Suzana Norberg: Had you always wanted to write a memoir, or did you just decide to give it a try when the memoir writing class appeared in the OLLI at SDSU catalog?

Louis Pechi: My memoir, in the making for the last 30 years, would not have happened without the encouragement and assistance of friends, acquaintances, and even strangers who, after hearing my story, insisted that I should write it.

In December of 1998, I testified for Steven Spielberg’s Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation. My taped three-hour interview became the framework for my book. I’m grateful to Mr. Spielberg for allowing me and thousands of Holocaust survivors to provide personal testimony of their experiences. The DVDs of our testimonies are available from USC’s Shoah Foundation Institute.

Over the years I accumulated a small collection, maybe 50 pages, of memoir notes and articles. When I spotted Kathi Diamant’s memoir writing class in the OLLI at SDSU catalog, I decided it was just what I needed to tie all the loose ends together. Over the years I continued in many of Kathi’s writing classes, including the wonderful ones on Kafka literature (I even had dreams about it). I took everything she offered. I think the world of her.

SN: What is your memoir about?

LP: The title of my book is “I AM LUBO: The incredible story of a child’s struggwle to survive.” The book is dedicated to all those who risked their lives to save mine. “Lubo” means love in Serbo-Croatian. It’s

38 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

Louis Pechi the name I was called since my birth in Zagreb, Yugoslavia.

The book is about my life’s remarkable journey through three continents, four countries, and seven cities to find a happy ending in San Diego. The story begins with a carefree childhood in Zagreb that ended abruptly in 1941 with the bombing of Belgrade and the German invasion of Yugoslavia.

In order to survive, I had to change my name, religion, and identity, and it took me many years to recover them. In my journey, I encountered the best and worst of humanity, finally coming to the realization that we are all connected.

SN: How critical was the class to getting a proper start on writing your memoir?

LP: I am so thankful to Kathi Diamant for the many suggestions and constructive advice I received in her memoir writing class. She urged me to come up with a working title for my book.

Once I named my work “I AM LUBO,” like magic, everything came into place and the whole book came alive.

I was so very fortunate that my mother preserved many letters, documents, and photographs. She even kept the round yellow metal tag with a big black letter Ž we all had to wear. It stands for Židov, a derogatory Croatian word for Jew. Her material and the photos that I preserved in two leather-bound albums jogged my memory. Gazing at the details allowed me to accurately describe the places as well as visualize in my mind the feelings.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the detailed letters, written in tiny handwriting on both sides of postcard-size thin paper, by Uncle Štefko, my Catholic uncle who hid me for two years and saved me. He documented in such minute detail my arrest at age 8, efforts to release me, and finally my deliverance from the jail, so beautifully, like poetry; I included it verbatim in the book.

Years later, while taping my Shoah testimony, while talking of how Uncle Štefko offered his own children Hanzi and Greta (twins) as collateral for my release, I broke down in sobs as I realized the love he had for me.

As the number of Holocaust survivors shrinks daily, their memories will be lost. This was one

more of the many stories with an urgency to be told.

SN: After the class ended, did you write in solitude until your memoir was complete?

LP: My classmates Alice Lowe and Jim Brega and I decided to keep getting together once a week.

We did that for about six months, then parted company because Alice and Jim like to write short articles, and I was working on my book. So it didn’t work for us, but I’m especially indebted to them for providing valuable suggestions for my writing.

Then I met Dr. Fergal O’Doherty at a meditation men’s group. He’s a professor of literature at Palomar College. We started talking and found out we were each writing a memoir – his is about growing up in Ireland. During two years of our weekly sessions, Fergal coaxed the young child in my story and helped me deliver Lubo’s feelings to life. He’s a dear friend and I could not have done it without his assistance.

SN: Did you self-publish or go the traditional route?

LP: After finishing the book, I made several attempts to find an agent and a publisher. I didn’t have the patience to wait and finally selfpublished the book with CreateSpace in 2012.

Since publication and posting on Amazon, I’ve had more than 300 print sales and 3,000 Kindle downloads.

During the past several years, I had several book presentations at Warwick’s in La Jolla, the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., the Lawrence Jewish Community Center in La Jolla, local senior centers and middle schools, and the Highland Prince Academy in Tijuana, Mexico.

SN: How did you come to be a presenter at the Holocaust Museum?

LP: In February of 2013, I attended the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum’s 20th anniversary commemoration in Los Angeles, and donated several photo albums, letters and documents to their archives. I kept only the Ž tag. They asked if I would be interested in a book-signing event at the museum in Washington D.C. So in July of the same year, I went. It was a two-day event during which the museum sold 90 signed copies of my book.

The highlight of the trip for me was not the sale of the books but the interface and conversations with the many young people I met.

SN: What was your main reason for writing the book?

LP: Several reasons come to mind and I’m at a loss to pick the main one. Eli Weisel writes: “Having survived by chance, I was duty bound to give meaning to my survival, to justify each moment of my life. The story had to be told. Not to transmit an experience is to betray it. Why do I write? To wrench those victims from oblivion. To help the dead vanquish death.”

Holocaust survivors, like me, often ask themselves, “Why me? Why did I survive? Why was I not one who perished?” I too live with these questions, these feelings. I felt that if I didn’t free them, they would burst out in different ways.

Suppressing them, not willing to talk about them, and even denying them would keep me forever in the prison of my thoughts.

I had to re-experience what happened in order to grasp my freedom. I did it by writing. Writing my book was the last step of a long catharsis and self-awareness process. Being again, if only in my imagination, a seven-year-old Jewish boy put me in touch with who I was then. It allowed me to be who I am now.

Since I came to the United States when I was 21, people were fascinated by my stories and wanted to know more. While I retold the story numerous times over the years, I realized that the narrative was mainly factual and lacked any emotion. My stories, just like silent movies, showed only the pictures – the facts, but lacked the sound – my emotion.

I hope I was able to accomplish this difficult task and in my book transport the reader not only to the place, time, and event, but to the soul of Lubo in his joy, curiosity, fascination, hope, and incomprehension of the dangers he was thrust into.

Peer pressure was another reason that spurred me to write the book. Almost everyone who heard my story or bits of it urged me to write. To all of them I send my deepest thanks. Their prodding and pushing helped me start the motor of the writing car, sputtering at first, picking up speed, and covering the distance until it reached the “I AM LUBO” finishing line.

And last but not least, I wrote the story for my own and everyone else’s children, grandchildren, and relatives. I wrote it for the next generation that does not have any knowledge of what happened, of how hateful, cruel, inconsiderate, caring, generous, giving, and loving people can be. A Pechi has a Bachelor’s of Science degree in physics from SDSU and an MBA from Pepperdine University. He has self-published two other books: “Dancing with Two Left Feet,” a collection of humorous columns he wrote for Folk Dance Scene magazine (the official publication of the Folk Dance Federation of California, South, Inc.); and “Pirry,” a novel based on his mother’s life. The title refers to her Hungarian name, Piroshka (Redhead). Both are available on Amazon.

This article was originally published on the SDSU Continuing Education blog here: ces.sdsu. edu/blog/2015/05/holocaust-survivors-memoirbegan-in-osher-lifelong-learning-instituteat-sdsu-writing-class/. It was republished with permission.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 39

SENIORS

From Army Nurse to Public Health Advocate At 93-years-old, Lillian Swerdlow is still surprised by what she’s accomplished in her life.

BY AMANDA KELLY

I

t was a sultry afternoon when I pulled into the driveway of Lillian Swerdlow’s Oceanside home. The 93-year-old WWII army nurse, children’s book author and public health advocate welcomed me warmly into her home, though throughout our conversation there persisted an undertone of modest surprise that I was there, wanting to interview her in the first place. The humility with which she looks back on her life is profound. Then again, boasting wouldn’t be the sort of quality you’d find in a woman who has dedicated her life to helping people.

Recently, Rowland Unified School District in the San Gabriel Valley honored Swerdlow by dedicating its brand new dental clinic – an extension of its Family Resource Center – in her name. Swerdlow worked as a school nurse ensuring schoolchildren had access to basic medical and dental services. She credits her lifelong compassion for children to a close relationship she had with her father who came to the U.S. as a sailor for the Argentine navy. Her father, the subject of her book, “The Little Jewish Gaucho,” never went back to South America.

“Most of [my students] were children of immigrant parents,” she says. She also credits her success to being from Brooklyn, saying that one has to be a bit “nervy” to thrive there.

Swerdlow spent her early childhood in an “allJewish community.” However, when she was 7 years old, the Depression hit many working-class families in the U.S. and Swerdlow’s father, a sewing machine mechanic, followed steady employment to Massachusetts. Suddenly, she became the lone Jewish child in a predominately French-Canadian community. It was not until after high school that Swerdlow returned to New York to pursue a nursing degree at Mt. Sinai Medical School.

In the midst of her training, the famous Colonel “Jimmy” Doolittle visited to recruit nurses to the war effort in Europe. Swerdlow volunteered for the U.S. Army Nurse Corps though it wasn’t until June 1944 that she reported to England – just as Allied forces were invading northern France at Normandy. She remained in Europe through the end of the war.

In 1946, Swerdlow returned to New York to pursue graduate education at Columbia University.

She married Leonard Swerdlow, a fellow Army veteran and “Jewish boy from Brooklyn,” whom

she met in Europe. The Swerdlows eventually moved west to California and Lillian began her work as a nurse at Northam Elementary in La Puente in L.A. County. Her job was to provide medical care to students, but Rowland Unified lacked adequate space for such care.

“There were no clinics in La Puente,” Swerdlow says. “Many local doctors refused to take the health insurance that existed at the time for poor children.”

Undeterred, she (along with the help of her school’s principal) established a dental clinic in a WWII army van on school grounds.

For more than six months, the van helped deliver basic dental care to children in La Puente and El Monte, a neighboring city, but there remained a great need for an actual facility to administer physicals and basic immunizations.

Swerdlow petitioned the school board to build a clinic. They accepted her proposal, with the caveat that she would have to raise the funds herself.

Somewhat daunted by the idea of public fundraising, she was soon approached by a local contractor, another immigrant from Yugoslavia, who had children in the local schools. He agreed to build the clinic for free as long as Swerdlow could raise money for supplies. With the help of her husband, a businessman who was well-connected in the community, Swerdlow reached out to established organizations like the Lion’s Club and Kiwanis. Within a year and a half, Swerdlow had enough money to build a two-room facility to administer physicals and immunizations. The building would remain open in La Puente for more than 35 years until it became too dilapidated for further use.

The district eventually opened up a new clinic, in January of this year.

When Swerdlow arrived at the ribboncutting ceremony, she found that the school district had dedicated the clinic to her.

“Of course, I cried when I saw my name on a plaque in the lobby,” she says. “I was very touched that they remembered me after all these years.”

They also presented her with the key to the original building that she helped build in 1978.

“It remains a community in desperate

need of public services,” Swerdlow continues, “but there is now a full-functioning children’s clinic on the school grounds.”

Swerdlow remains as vivacious as ever. I found the strength of her humility matched only by the strength of her accent, which has not waned in the 50 years since she left New York City. Up until a few years ago, Swerdlow was volunteering her time at her local health department, administering physicals to those in need.

“I think there’s something in Judaism where we feel the need to pay it back,” she says. “I’ve always felt so much compassion for children…and I’m grateful that G-d gave me all these years.” A

PHOTOS COURTESY LILLIAN SWERDLOW

40 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

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41

SENIORS

Children’s Books and the Publishing Process, Oh My! Retired teacher turns a 12-year project into a successful book

BY JACKIE COHEN

M

arcia Berneger, a newly minted children’s book author, writes her books for kids but there’s no denying that she loves them too. Either that, or she’s a consummate marketer. At our interview, Berneger was decked out in her “Buster” attire – a truckpatterned skirt and a hat with the Buster logo.

She even carried a tote that bore the branding.

Buster is the main character of her first book, a young but brave garbage truck. Berneger says that she usually tops off her outfit with a Buster t-shirt, but she is waiting for the new design.

“I think the goal for most children’s writers is to get their work in the hands of children,” Berneger says. “I love reading Buster to kids and the thrill of seeing a kid hold my book.”

Berneger is a retired elementary school teacher, but she has been writing her whole life.

Twelve years ago, she started thinking seriously about publishing a book.

After going through the publishing process, Berneger says the first step is to get the idea: “Buster started out when I was tutoring a little boy. He was a kindergartener and it was summer and he was terrified of going to first grade. He was sure he wasn’t going to do well and he was one of the brightest children I’d ever met. He also happened to be obsessed with garbage trucks, so I thought, well I’ll just find a book kind of like ‘The Little Engine That Could” but with a garbage truck and we’d read it together and talk about it. There weren’t any that I could find… so I wrote one for him.”

Once she had the idea, she had to find a way to portray the theme of fearlessness without having it be too obvious (kids are very perceptive). She had to do a lot of research to come up with a story that was appropriate for addressing fear.

“I was thinking about how a garbage truck would be afraid, and came up with the idea that

this garbage truck was afraid of loud noises and, of course, in the world of garbage trucks, it is filled with loud noises, so it was a fear he had to overcome,” Berneger says. “So I started writing a story with that in mind.”

Each time she felt she had a good draft of “Buster,” Berneger would take it to her writing groups for feedback. Later, she took it to a writing conference where she got feedback from professionals (editors, agents, and other children’s book authors).

Once “Buster” had been perfected, Berneger moved to the part she sarcastically calls “the wonderful process of publishing.”

She didn’t have an agent at the time, so her first step was to get one. Then they submitted “Buster” to lots of publishers. Eventually, it was picked up by Sleeping Bear Press.

“I was sending out a variety of things. I didn’t just send out ‘Buster.’ ‘Buster’ just seemed to have a lot of the elements for a good story,” Berneger says.

Once the publisher picked it up, they had to find an illustrator.

Berneger describes the relationship between the author and illustrator as an arranged marriage, since she was never able to meet with the person selected by the publisher before the process began “My words tell the story. His pictures tell the story,” Berneger explain without a hint of Buster is dedicated to Ethan, whose love of garbage trucks inspired this story.

With special thanks to Karen Grencik and Anna Olswanger, who both helped bring Buster to life. discomfort.

—Marcia Berneger says the most amazing part of the Dedicated to all those the who struggle to be in heard. process was finally having book her arms.

—Kevin She began writing the story in September of 2011, started submitting it to publishers in 2013 and finally received the printed copies in April of this year.

“And then the box comes and you kind of go around holding it to your chest for the next hour or day or month,” Berneger admits.

Text Copyright © 2015 Marcia Berneger Illustration Copyright © 2015 Kevin Zimmer

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews and articles. All inquiries should be addressed to:

315 E. Eisenhower Parkway, Ste. 200 Ann Arbor, MI 48108 www.sleepingbearpress.com

Printed and bound in the United States.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

44 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

Berneger, Marcia, 1952Buster the little garbage truck / written by Marcia Berneger ; illustrated by Kevin Zimmer. pages cm Summary: “Buster the little garbage truck can’t wait to grow up and be a big truck like his father. But loud noises frighten him and he skids away to hide. When his best friend Kitty gets into trouble, Buster musters up his courage to help”—Provided by publisher.

ISBN 978-1-58536-894-5

Now that “Buster” has been published to good reviews, Berneger has much to do. She still serves as a substitute teacher, taking jobs about once a month, and soon she will begin teaching art at her synagogue. As for book promotion, in addition to branding her wardrobe, Berneger gives talks at libraries and Barnes & Noble locations in San Diego and surrounding cities to read “Buster” to children.

Berneger also continues to write in her spare time. Currently, her editor is looking through a chapter book she wrote for young adults. She also has other stories in the works, including some that focus on Jewish values and others that reinterpret Jewish stories like the 10 plagues (her version is told by the frogs who were living in the area).

Berneger’s passion for connecting with children is evident, from her writing to the way that she continues her work into retirement.

(She carries crafts in her “Buster” tote because you never know when you need to keep a kid entertained.)

She says the most meaningful part of the publishing process has been seeing the impact “Buster” has on children. She gave a copy to her neighbors who have been reading the book to their kids every night since. She also gave a copy to a friend with an 18-month-old child, whom she says has subsequently refused to listen to any other book.

Her reaction: “That’s wonderful. I did that! I made you happy.” A

Buste

“Buster: The Little Garbage Truck” is available The Little Garbage Truck on Amazon and at Barnes & Noble. For more information about Marcia Berneger visit marciaberneger.com/.

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Senior Living in the Jewish tradition Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 45

CHARITABLE

GIVING The Jewish Community that Could Jewish Community Foundation helps secure the future of Jewish organizations in San Diego with nationally-recognized program

BY NATALIE JACOBS

46 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

“R

eading about planned giving techniques can be very technical and not at all engaging,” says Marjory Kaplan, interim CEO for the Jewish Community Foundation. That doesn’t mean it’s not important.

In 2003, Kaplan and her JCF colleagues Merle Brodie and Gail Littman, z”l, were determined to get people in the San Diego Jewish community talking about planned giving, endowments and charitable legacies. Kaplan had been JCF CEO for 10 years at that point and she was “very eager to do more endowments and planned giving with the Jewish community,” she says.

But how to make it less boring?

“I think it was Merle who said ‘why don’t we do something like incentive grants that would reward our Jewish organizations for when they did move forward and create some bequests for their organizations.’

“It was a big light bulb that went off,” Kaplan recalls with excitement.

The three took a year to plan the program, which they called the Endowment Leadership Institute (ELI), and in 2004 the first 12 Jewish organizations had signed on. Another eight were quickly added, bringing the total of the first group to 20 Jewish organizations.

The idea was simple but revolutionary: JCF would provide annual grants of $12,000 for three years to the Institute organizations. Their call was to Create a Jewish Legacy. The organizations (synagogues, day schools and local Jewish agencies) would meet all together with JCF three times a year to learn about endowments – what it means to leave money for an organization in a will or trust, and how to have those conversations with donors. They would create goals and then work together sharing advice and stories along the way.

Up until then, it was not common for Jewish organizations to get together, especially to share information about fundraising. When JCF broke down that wall of separation, they were surprised by the results.

“Most engaged donors in our community,” Kaplan says, “if they want to leave money to the Jewish community, it’s for more than one organization because our lives are rich and complex.”

So a conversation with one donor could quickly turn into two or three or even four endowments to different organizations – in town but also across the U.S. and internationally.

“When you have endowment conversations with philanthropists and with donors, it’s an intimate conversation,” says Jane Scher, who was committee chair of the ELI program when it launched (Scher is currently JCF’s Board Chair). “[It’s] about the things that they care most about in the world. It becomes a conversation about their shul, the school their kids go to, feeding the homeless in the former Jewish Soviet Union.

Israel. It just encompasses a whole big vision about what the family is trying to do.”

To date, the program has amassed more

than 1,000 individuals and families across San Diego who have pledged endowments to 65 organizations across the Jewish and secular community. More than $40 million has been “realized” – meaning the money has been received by organizations either since someone who made an endowment passed away, or through current endowment funds (those that go into effect while the donor is still alive).

“We thought if we could raise $7 million for our community over a two-year period we would be doing good,” Scher says of the initial goals for the program.

Today, Sharleen Wollach, director of philanthropy operations at JCF, says they calculate $200 million in pledged endowments.

“I’m a native San Diegan,” Green says. “I’ve seen a lot of growth in the Jewish community. But I still think we’re a small Jewish community compared to many around the country. To me, this is probably the most important financial initiative for the continuity of our Jewish organizations.”

“We had no idea how successful we would be and the effect that we would have,” Scher says.

“Really what we wanted to do was to find a way to be of extreme service to all the organizations to help them to plan, to be strategic, to be visionary about their future.”

“The biggest challenge,” says Orin Green, who is the current committee chair of the ELI program, “was, if you’re Harvard or Yale or Rady Children’s Hospital, you have a team of people that work in the planned giving department and they solicit endowments and bequests.

Jewish organizations pretty much run month-tomonth, or maybe once in a while run a building campaign, but [they’re] constantly looking for money. But to become sustainable like those big organizations you have to have an endowment.”

In 2014, the Endowment Leadership Institute got a reboot. There are currently 17 organizations involved, some returning from 2004 and others brand new. Instead of incentive grants, JCF

is now offering resources such as marketing materials like logos and information sheets, along with one-on-one coaching, education workshops, donor consultations and more, at an estimated value of $18,000 per organization.

“Most of our organizations don’t have anybody who just deals – I don’t know if any of them do – [have someone] that just deals with legacy building, it’s not affordable at the size of the organizations we have,” Green, who is a financial advisor by day, says.

The Jewish Community Foundation is now working to be those planned giving departments for the organizations involved in the Endowment Leadership Institute.

“I’m a native San Diegan,” Green says. “I’ve seen a lot of growth in the Jewish community.

But I still think we’re a small Jewish community compared to many around the country. To me, this is probably the most important financial initiative for the continuity of our Jewish organizations.”

After the initial launch of ELI, JCF was contacted by a group of philanthropists from New York, including Harold Grinspoon. Grinspoon and his Foundation worked with Gail Littman, who was spearheading the program for JCF at the time, with an idea to spin-off San Diego’s ELI into a national program. Under the name Life and Legacy, the Grinspoon Foundation wanted to introduce the program to 49 communities across the United States. Littman was working to make this happen when she passed away suddenly three years ago.

“We took a breath after Gail passed away,” Kaplan remembers. “Because, although it was very much a staff and board program, Gail was the one who ran with it and did an absolutely amazing job of getting everyone to work together and everyone to honor each other’s work and reach out to donors.”

Eventually, the Grinspoon Foundation was able to carry on with their national version of the program, and Sharleen Wollach has led the charge at JCF for their reinvigorated program.

“We encourage people to think of the community that has nurtured them and provided for them all these years as, a child, as somebody who is just as important as your own children,” Wollach says. “We call that making a statement.

What will your legacy be?”

The Jewish Community Foundation started documenting these statements in written and video form, to serve as a reminder to the donor’s families and the greater community about the importance of Jewish giving. They call this “The Book of Life,” and video testimonials can be found on their website, jcfsandiego.org. A *Look out for the Jewish Community Foundation’s ad in our December issue, with the names of 1,000+ individuals and famillies who have promised a gift to a Jewish organization in their lifetime. Email sharleen@jcfsandiego.org to make sure you’re on the list.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 47

Creating Community Mid-city media program does big things on small budget

BY TINA B. ESHEL

48 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

PHOTOS COURTESY DIGITAL GYM CINEMA

O

n the 29th block of El Cajon Blvd., in between urban renewal and eclectic diversity, you’ll find The Digital Gym, a nonprofit media arts center, studio, lounge, art gallery, marketplace and only “truly independent” movie theater in all of San Diego county, says Lisa Salus, the Teen Program Coordinator for The Digital Gym (TDG).

We meet on a Monday morning, and as hot as our summer has been, this place is even hotter, but in the über lowkey hip sense of the word. Salus is my guide, and she greets me with a warm smile and ready stream of stories about how TDG came into being, and the programs they offer. We start with a tour of the property which includes two theaters, (one outdoor, and one indoor) where they regularly feature a diverse lineup of indie and foreign films, and perhaps the greatest selection of Jewish and Israeli films outside of the Jewish Film Festival.

More on that in a moment.

Salus, a native San Diegan whose “hero” father is Jewish, says she identifies culturally as Jewish and it’s obvious as we talk that she brings a lot of the values she was raised with into her work at the nonprofit, including the spirit of social action and tikkun olam.

“The media arts center was started in 1999,” she explains, as part of the Latino Film Festival.

Organizers recognized that underrepresented communities in San Diego were seen through very narrow lenses in mainstream media. What’s more, those from the underrepresented communities weren’t even submitting films to the festival, and the gap was especially obvious for teens and young adults and migrant communities.

“We all know that film and video production equipment is very expensive. Cameras [are] expensive, software’s expensive and having access to those tools can make it or break it for someone trying to enter the big leagues,” says Salus who manages that original program for youth, now called the Teen Producers Project.

“It’s really important to bring their voices to the table not just to have them become more confident in their own voice, but to bring attention to their voices in the larger community.”

The Digital Gym’s outreach has grown considerably since becoming a nonprofit in 2001, and today, those who participate include Jewish

teens such as good friends Noah Kalah and Daniel Nieberg.

“I love the abundance of resources they have there. If you don’t have the tools you need at home, the Digital Gym has [it],” says Noah Kalal, a budding filmmaker and Project participant, age 16. Kalal’s mother Lisa works for the Jewish Federation, and he had his Bar Mitzvah at Congregation Beth Israel a few years back.

“I learned more about lighting and camerawork than I did anywhere else,” he says. “I think I can attribute that learning experience to one of my summer camp instructors, Matt. He is a professional documentary filmmaker who had a deep knowledge of film technique. He also knew how to organize a group of wild, rambunctious kids.”

For his Eagle Scout project, Kalal created a short documentary about the 60-year history of the La Jolla Symphony and Chorus.

“I was the sole editor of the film and I did all that work in the computer lab at the Digital Gym.” Like Kahal, Daniel Nieberg has participated at TDG for the past two summers. He’s taken an intro to filmmaking class and an advanced Producers Project class.

“It has great equipment. It’s a local place I can go. A great area to meet other teen producers. I love making film, it’s one of my passions, and I can pursue that passion through The Digital Gym. “Over the summer we did multiple PSAs,” he continues. “The most recent one was a teen homelessness PSA [where] we basically raised the awareness of teen homelessness in San Diego.

It’s not easy getting out of homelessness in San Diego.”

As a nonprofit, TDG runs a tight ship, and yet they are dedicated to bringing top-quality instructors on board to teach workshops for all

ages. This requires funds, and to this end, TDG is hosting a fundraiser, “Cinematic: Art with a Story.”

“Our big fundraiser is coming up October 10,” from 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. says Justina Aura, their volunteer event coordinator and member of Ohr Shalom synagogue. “We are hoping to raise $10,000. It’s going to be used for scholarships equipment replacement and software licensing renewal all for our youth [media] programs.

“We teach kids ages 6-19, and what people don’t know is that we never turn a kid away for funds, ever. So if a kid is excited about filmmaking, we will find a way.” The Digital Gym ends up subsidizing 80-90 percent of their youth participants, Aura says.

She’s inviting community members to come to the event (tickets are $10 in advance), peruse and purchase art at the show (a portion of all art sales will go to the scholarship fund), and consider sponsoring a child.

“There’s always room for people to become more involved donors. We are looking for board members who are as excited about filmmaking as we are.”

Dedicated to diversity, a little known secret about TDG is just how many Jewish-themed and Israeli-made films they show. Coming up this month is the Israeli film, “The Kindergarten Teacher,” beginning Oct. 2. The 2014 Hebrew language film by Nadav Lapid tells the story of a teacher who becomes at first enchanted, and then ultimately consumed by the poetic genius of her five-year-old student. Showtimes are updated online monthly. A View this month’s complete lineup of films, and find details on the fundraiser at digitalgym.org. For more info on teen programming, contact Lisa Salus at lisa@mediaartscenter.org, (619) 230-1938.

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Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 49

Like Mother, Like Daughter One Israeli military family makes a home in San Diego

BY NATALIE JACOBS

O

rpaz Levy is a 21-year-old Israeli who moved to San Diego a year ago. She completed her military service and came here to be with her family who relocated from Israel a year before that. Her father was brigadere general of a bomb disposal unit in the Israel police. Her mother, Eti, served her time with the Israel Defense Force at a place called Havat Ha’shomer where she worked with male soldiers who had difficult personal backgrounds, in a special training camp that lasted twice as long as the training programs for other soldiers.

Orpaz’s 18-year-old brother Aylon is preparing to go back to Israel to begin serving in the IDF in November. As for her 14-year-old brother Yoav, now that he is growing up in the U.S. his IDF military service is not required but Orpaz and Eti say he may still decide to enlist when the time comes.

Such is the makeup of Israeli families. The military connections go back generations.

“We grew up in a small town in Israel,” Orpaz explains. “I know here in the States you talk about where you’re going to go to college. In Israel, where we grew up, it’s where are you going to serve. So the special unit you serve [sic], the better you are in this town, which is nice.”

Orpaz studied Arabic in high school and considered going into intelligence. She took all the tests and applied for a spot with a prestigious unit where more than 100 soldiers were vying for a very limited number of slots. A month before she was due to enlist, Orpaz was told the unit had run out of space and asked to postpone her service for a year.

“I didn’t want to postpone so I said ok, that’s apparently not my thing.”

Orpaz ended up becoming an army social worker for a combat unit.

“I just looked up online and asked people where they’re serving and found what I did. So that’s how I got there. I’m pretty happy I did.”

Part of her job was to support lone soldiers who couldn’t easily get to their families for shabbat dinners or off days. Then, in her second year of service, Orpaz became a lone soldier 50 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

herself. Her father retired from the Israel police and her mother knew the only way for him to actually enjoy a life outside of the military was to live outside of Israel.

“It’s like to be married again [sic],” Eti says of life in San Diego with her husband and the family all together. “It’s a new thing for me because for 20 years I didn’t see him because of his work. …

We never could go [in one car] together because I know that like Shabbat dinner or on vacation, I know that I’m returning by myself. No way that it’s going to end together. It was very hard.”

Being a lone soldier helped Orpaz relate to her troops. That connection ended up having the opposite effect when she moved to San Diego at the end of her service, which was right in the middle of last summer’s Operation Protective Edge. She was asked to stay an extra week in a classified unit until the reserve troops were organized but then she went home to her family in a new country on the other side of the world.

Being in San Diego was “really rough at start,” she remembers. “I really didn’t want to be here.

Ask her,” she says pointing to her mom, “I was stuck to the tv, watching the news, trying to get the phone because a lot of my friends were in Gaza.”

Eti, on the other hand, was relieved to have her home. Orpaz’s base was under the Iron Dome, so they were protected, but they still had to seek cover when attacks came. Eti remembers countless conversations.

“You’re talking to her on the phone and suddenly it’s ‘Ima, Ima, I need to go down’ she’s searching for cover. Or it’s ‘Ima, Ima we need to go to a safe place, be with me while we go down.’”

By the time Operation Protective Edge happened, Orpaz had served her time. When she arrived in San Diego, her mom saw her feel guilty for being here.

“The truth is that they don’t need her anymore, but she felt that she needed to stay with them even [though] they don’t need her anymore. She was in the high of the adrenaline and all of this stuff and suddently just to see it in the tv and

In her second year of service, Orpaz became a lone soldier herself. Her father retired from the Israel police and her mother, Eti, knew the only way for him to actually enjoy a life outside of the military was to live outside of Israel. to worry. And it was hard because some of the soldiers that...” she pauses, unable to speak the word, “she knew them. So it was also hard for her.”

Shortly after her arrival, Orpaz got in touch with Friends of the IDF. “I just felt that I needed to do something,” she says. She has been involved with the group’s young leadership board ever since.

“It was a way to feel like I’m doing something.

Even if I’m not there, there’s still a lot to do from here for Israel.”

Although Israelis on the whole accept the inevitability of their military service, Eti says there’s one thing that Jewish mothers always say to their children.

“I hope when you grow up you don’t need to serve in the IDF because there’s no war, nothing.” A The Friends of the IDF will host its annual gala, this year with the theme of “Honoring the Women of the IDF,” on Nov. 21 at the Hilton San Diego Bayfront.

More information at fidfsd.org.

PHOTO COURTESY ORPAZ LEVY

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Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 51

FEATURE

What a Difference a Year Makes After taking a brief hiatus, San Diego Federation’s “Options” is back with a whole new direction Tracy Borkum

S

an Diego’s flagship event of Women’s Philanthropy, from our Jewish Federation, is back this year with a trio of compelling and accomplished women: Tracy Borkum, principal of Urban Kitchen Group of San Diego, Janet Gurwitch, founder and former CEO of Laura Mercier Cosmetics and Melissa Rivers, actress, television host, producer, and philanthropist.

Each is a trailblazer in her own way, fitting for the theme of this year’s Options: The Women’s Event.

Just don’t call them “speakers,” says Karen Kogut, Chair of the Women’s Philanthropy Board and member of the full board for Federation. Despite the collective power that Borkum, Gurwitch and Rivers bring to each of their respective professional roles, Kogut and her three co-chairs – Laura Vainer, Simone Abelsohn and Stacy Soefer – are planning a very different format from Options of previous years.

Think of it as a fireside chat with a panel of trailblazing women, Kogut says.

“All three of the women are very different [Jewish women] representing different demographics,” and thus will bring insight and enthusiasm from their unique, obviously successful, experiences as women making their mark in industries that are all still considered to be dominated by men.

On the theme, “Trailblazing Women,” Kogut says there’s been a lot of discussion about what it means.

“I’ll start with Tracy [Borkum],” she says.

“Tracy is making her mark in San Diego, but also she’s becoming well known around the United States. She’s Jewish, local, successful.”

A native of London, Borkum is the principal of Urban Kitchen Group, whose restaurants, such as Cucina Urbana in Banker’s Hill, are known for “culinary delight meets aesthetic bliss … where dining and design form the ultimate union,” according to Cucina’s website. She’s a successful 52 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

BY TINA B. ESHEL female entrepreneur who is described by the Federation as a “steadfast women’s advocate in both life and business.”

Janet Gurwitch, founder and former CEO of Laura Mercier Cosmetics, will join Borkum at the head table. Gurwitch is a highly successful entrepreneur, the first female on the board of the Houston Astros, and the best friend of Stacy Soefer’s mother. Soefer, NextGen board member and national cabinet member for the Federation, describes Gurwitch as “family.”

“She had this idea to launch this cosmetic line…she started and built from the ground up, and then sold it. Now she’s this kickass female entrepreneur and partner in a private equity group. She’s an amazing inspiration for women.

She’s my number one trailblazer,” Soefer says.

“Janet and my mom [have been] best friends since age 19,” Soefer continues. At Options, Gurwitch, a “southern lady” from Mississippi, is likely to talk about “her first trip to Israel … a few years ago. It was a really fascinating experience for her because she went on this trip as the only woman in a group of men. It changed her perspective and outlook on Israel and connection to Judaism.”

Soefer’s favorite thing about Gurwitch is that “she’s very down to earth … family is everything to her … what you won’t read about her is that she’s a southern Jewish woman who loves puppies and fried chicken.”

Melissa Rivers, the daughter of Joan Rivers, z”l, and author of the recently published book, “The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief and Manipulation,” is the third member of the panel.

While most “people see Melissa Rivers in all of her splendorous glamour on the red carpet,” they “have no idea that the style maven is an Ivy League graduate, an accomplished equestrian and a single mother. She’s also an accomplished television producer and has ample experience behind the camera as well as in front of it,” reads

the Options website.

The co-chairs agree that as unique as they are in their accomplishments, all three women serve as excellent examples of females who are actively leaving their mark in the world.

“We are trying really hard at Federation to be known as the most welcoming Jewish community in North America. What does that mean, how do you define that?” Kogut asks.

“One way we are doing this is … you get to be in a room with 1,000 Jewish women. We love the power of 1,000 Jewish women. We hope that people feel energized. We hope we’ll do a great job of finding the new people. We want people to be engaged in the Jewish community. Pick something that is Jewish! So we can continue our heritage in the Jewish community.

“I hope people leave excited, energized, wanting to be part of federation, join a community, become a donor if they aren’t already, maybe increase their pledges,” Kogut continues.

Expanding on the Trailblazer theme, Soefer, who, like Kogut, is a transplant to San Diego, says, “I think a trailblazer is someone who forges their own path against many obstacles. For me these are all women who took a chance on something they believed in and blazed trails in their industry, in their niches.”

The trailblazers extend beyond the three headliners as well.

“They’re amazing women, the women I am co-chairing with.” Soefer adds that they each have the goal of bringing in “multidimensional, multigenerational women to appeal to the Jewish women in San Diego.”

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Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 53

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FEATURE

First Witnesses Letters from America’s Jewish GIs who liberated two concentration camps in 1945 offer perspective on a harsh reality

BY ROBERT A. SLAYTON

S

eventy years ago, Americans confronted the Holocaust on a most intimate level.

On April 11, 1945, U.S. troops liberated Buchenwald concentration camp, and on April 29, Dachau. Some of the servicemen in these operations were Jewish. What was it like to be among the first to witnesses evil on such a scale?

The extensive archives of the Joint Distribution Committee, founded by affluent Jews in 1914 to aid kinsmen in distress, offers just such insight.

In their archives is a unique folder, labeled “Appeals for Aid to the Displaced Persons (DPs)

by Soldiers Stationed in Germany, 1945.” It consists of letters from the first Jewish American GIs to encounter in the most intimate terms just what the Holocaust really accomplished, before this was widely known.

A letter to Jack Nagel, Executive Director of the 92nd Street Y, on July 8, 1945, is typical of what servicemen found. Written by Sergeant Dave Katz, it recounts the story of one woman: “I was given five minutes to get out of my house. I ran about wildly trying to gather up what I could but hardly had I started when an S.S. man came in and said my time was up and one of my children would have to die because I took too long. They took my youngest son, a child of three and said they were going to cremate him. I screamed and begged but they only laughed at me and said I shouldn’t worry because they would rub old grease on him to make him burn more rapidly and then they gave him an injection in the arm to make him sleep so that he wouldn’t feel the heat of the flames. The last I saw of my son was when they took him thru [sic] the door and I was held back screaming.”

Katz told of another woman, who keened, “My little girl, they threw from a top floor window and while she was falling the S.S. men shot at her as though she were a bird. I don’t know what killed her. The fall or the bullets….”

Katz wrote to Sarah, Lou and Don on June 21, 1945, that, “All the stories you read about atrocities are only half truths compared to what” he was told. “Friday night we hold services in a 54 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

Notorious Nazi motto “Jedem das Seine” (To each his own) seen on the main gate of the Buchenwald concentration camp near Weimar, Germany.

makeshift shul. ... After the service we read the names of the DPs and the relatives they hope are still alive. I read the name and some one answers ‘farbrent’ – and a fellow faints at the news that his sister is no more. ... I don’t sleep nights.”

Fred wrote Uncle Carl on how he “went to Jewish services in Munich yesterday. ... During the services I had to go to the men’s room and there was a Polish Jew … crying like a child. I didn’t have to ask him why he cried.”

Letters also provide descriptions of what the DP camps were like, and the lives of their Jewish occupants. A missive to “Dad” told how, “I saw a few of them in shul on Rosh Hashanah and it hurt me. ... These people are in dire need.”

A GI from Norfolk, Va., explained, “Liberated Jews have been liberated only from the fear of gestapo methods of torture. They are still confined to camps where they are given little freedom of movement. They can only get the barest necessities and when I say barest I mean the lowest minimum necessary for life.”

A corporal stationed in Vienna wrote that conditions were “very bad, no food (daily diet

mostly of Ersatz Coffee, bread and peas, no meat whatsoever), no clothes or shoes to be had, no coal, no smokes, no matches…”

Several pieces in the JDC archives referred to the lack of garments. Sergeant Edward Mayer felt that “clothing is in the realm of fantasy. Many of the people are still wearing the prison garb that they were wearing at Dachau. When a patient has been cured it is sometimes impossible to release him for weeks because there is no clothes for him to wear.” Another piece confirmed how residents of the camps “use one pair of shoes on shifts, so you can see they are really hurting here.”

The letters from Jewish GIs also show unique insights into the Nazi occupation. Pfc. Elliot Goodman told the story of Berlin’s half Jews, families with a Jewish husband and a gentile wife, 5,000 in number. They were allowed to live in Berlin but under restrictions: could only buy food between 4 and 5 p.m., could not use street cars, and had to wear the Star of David.

Goodman claimed this relative benevolence (as opposed to cleansing the ghetto entirely) stemmed from the local Gestapo office’s desire

“The stories are too numerous to recite as they could fill books and the purpose of this letter is not to build a hatred in our hearts against the Germans, but to try and find out what should be done to give these people the food, clothes … which they need so badly.”

“to leave enough people to justify the existence of their jobs. Not only did the Gestapo have a very pleasant life in Berlin, but apparently had they completely eliminated these 5,000 people, they would have had to serve in another job which undoubtedly would have meant the front lines.”

The letters also detailed efforts to respond to what they were seeing and hearing. Richard Seymour described a Jewish service led “by a young chaplain of the 9th Division. ... The G-I audience was interspersed with about fifty German, Hungarian and Polish Jews from the nearby … camp. Their prayers were genuine, their weeping from the soul – but without tears.

Their tears had long ago become dried from years of tragedy and sorrow. I cannot possibly reduplicate the atmosphere created by this group of circumstances … but I must pass on the facts to you so that you will not rest until you and everyone you know has done something to alleviate the situation...”

Another communique described an Army chaplain, a rabbi “who disregarded … red tape, channels, etc. He has wrought a miracle. Out of nothing he has made provisions to feed these people. ... He has found bolts of cloth out of

which to make clothes. He has found an operable shoe factory in the midst of rubble. He has printed a directory of all rescued Jews, bringing hope and joy…” At another service, to raise money for local DPs, the chaplain “sold aliahs ... and the average price was $75.00. These men are just plain soldiers like me and that probably was all the money they had and could borrow.”

Sergeant Joseph Kewman and three other soldiers visited a DP camp near Brunswick, Germany. Spotting a girl wearing a mezuzah, they struck a conversation about the camp and its 200 Jewish residents.

“She insisted that we meet most of them and listen to their stories,” the letter reads.

While there, the four troopers heard of torture and murders, especially of the young and of the aged.

“The stories are too numerous to recite as they could fill books and the purpose of this letter is not to build a hatred in our hearts against the Germans, but to try and find out what should be done to give these people the food, clothes … which they need so badly.”

There was also recognition of the remarkable Jewish penchant for books and letters, still

alive despite the suffering. One writer requests, “something they all crave – literature in Hebrew or Yiddish – old books, or magazines or newspapers…”

Another asks someone “to contact the leading Jewish journals in the U.S.A. to arrange to have a subscription from each sent to me,” to hand out to the DPs. In the modern world we are well informed, all too familiar with the Holocaust and its devastation. This remarkable cache brings us to a world decades before Spielberg made “Schindler’s List,” when American Jews and the rest of humanity were discovering the depths of what had occurred. Jewish soldiers in the U.S. Army tried to deal with the camps in myriad ways, from the simple act of being a witness and recording survivors’ accounts, to fundraising and activism.

Yet these letters serve us as well, providing a sense of what it meant to be a first witness to evil. A Robert A. Slayton is a professor in the Department of History at Chapman University. He can be reached at slayton@chapman.edu or (714) 642-4162.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 55

Elijah’s Restaurant and Delicatessen has relocated to

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www.ElijahsRestaurant.com 56 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

FOOD

in the kitchen WITH

TORI AVEY

ANDERSEN’S SPLIT PEA SOUP

G Tori Avey is an awardwinning food writer, recipe developer, and the creator of the popular cooking website toriavey.com.

She writes about food history for PBS Food and Parade. com. Follow Tori on Facebook by searching for “Tori Avey” and on Twitter: @toriavey.

rowing up, every once in a while, my dad would come up a brilliant idea: “Let’s go to Pea Soup Andersen’s for lunch!” The restaurant was a 1 ½ hour drive from my hometown. It was, admittedly, a long way to go for a bowl of soup but I never questioned it. In fact, I looked forward to it. We’d pile into his truck and cruise through the California countryside to Buellton. Along the way, Dad loved to recount the story of when he first visited Andersen’s.

“There was a guy with long hair sitting at the counter – a hippy. He ordered the Traveler’s Special, a bottomless bowl of soup. The guy didn’t realize he could get free refills. When the waitress came by, he looked at her with big, sad eyes and said, Oliver Twist-style, ‘Can I please have some more?’ He was shocked when she gave him one refill, then another, then another. He just couldn’t get enough of that soup.”

I don’t know why that story amused my dad so much, but it did, and I always enjoyed hearing him tell it. Those weekend jaunts to Buellton are some of my favorite childhood memories. And the soup, oh, the soup!

Pea Soup Andersen’s first opened their doors on June 12, 1924. The small cafe was run by Danish immigrant Anton Andersen and his wife, French immigrant Juliette. Anton had been a maître d’hôtel and catering manager, first in New York, then Los Angeles. His brother ran a business in the Danish town of Solvang just a few miles from Buellton, so Anton and Juliette visited the area frequently. Over time, the couple grew tired of city life. When the 101 freeway was diverted through Buellton and electricity first came to the area, Anton and Juliette decided to buy a parcel of land.

They moved to Buellton with their young son Robert and opened a cafe. It was originally called “Andersen’s Electrical Cafe,” named after the family’s coveted electric stove – the only one in the Santa Ynez valley at that time.

“Andersen’s Electrical Cafe” started as a roadside diner, catering to weary highway travelers. Anton acted as a short order cook, while Juliette became known for her finer French-inspired specialties. The couple tried out a variety of dishes in the beginning, adopting the ones that customers liked best – sandwiches, pancakes,

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 57

ice cream. The little cafe became well known in the area, and customers began to visit from nearby Santa Barbara. Reporters from the Hearst newspaper empire would pass through on their way to and from Los Angeles and San Francisco. Celebrities stopped by on their trips up and down the coast. Before long, the cafe had made its mark on the local landscape.

About three months after opening, Anton and Juliette introduced pea soup to the menu. It was an immediate success, leading them to make the soup a permanent fixture. At that time the cafe was tiny and Anton didn’t have a place to store the large sacks of dried peas needed for the increasing soup demand. He solved this by placing the gunnysacks in the window, along with a sign that read: “The Original Home of Split Pea Soup.” It started with an initial order of 10 pounds of peas, which quickly grew to 100 as the soup gained popularity. Within three years of opening, the Andersen’s had placed an order for one ton of split peas from Chicago.

That’s a lot of peas!

In 1928 the Andersens expanded their business, building a hotel and adjacent dining room. They renamed the place the “Bueltmore,” combining the name of the Biltmore hotel (where Anton once worked) and Buellton.

In the late 1930s, Anton and Juliette’s son Robert joined the family business.

Known by the nickname “Pea Soup,” Robert was responsible for many of the marketing plans that helped bring the restaurant even greater success – billboards along the highway, family-friendly menus, and announcing to the public that they sold over 100,000 bowls of soup per year. The hotel was again renamed – Andersen’s Valley Inn. Robert’s wife, Rosemary, opened a gift shop in the restaurant. The business continued to grow.

The hotel briefly closed during World War II to house soldiers. When it reopened after the war, Robert commissioned Disney cartoonist Milt Neil to create new drawings for their official pea-splitting mascots. A contest was held to name the two characters – Hap-Pea and Pea-Wee. The dining room was enlarged, and the inn was once again renamed in 1947. The new name, Pea Soup Andersen’s, became permanent, as did the original tagline from the Electrical Cafe so many years ago, “The Home of Split Pea Soup.”

On a recent visit to Pea Soup Andersen’s I picked up a copy of their official cookbook, a thin volume of restaurant-inspired classics and authentic Scandanavian recipes. Even though the recipe in the cookbook says it’s the “official” pea soup recipe I felt it wasn’t quite right, so I adapted it slightly. After a bit of tweaking, it’s just like the soup I grew up loving.

You’ll want to use a food mill to achieve the proper texture. Don’t be put off by the green pureed appearance. If you’ve never tried Andersen’s soup before, you’re in for a treat! I top mine with a few chunky toasted seasoned breadcrumbs, they sop up the soup nicely. Obviously you may omit the breadcrumbs if you’re gluten free or watching your carbs.

If you’re ever heading up or down the 101 freeway along the Central Coast of California and you begin to see billboards with Hap-Pea and PeaWee, take their advice. Stop by Andersen’s for a Traveler’s Special. You can thank me later.

58 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2015

Ingredients: 2 cups green split peas 1 stalk celery, coarsely chopped 1 large carrot, peeled and coarsely chopped 1 small onion, peeled and chopped ¼ tsp thyme 1 bay leaf, crumbled into very small pieces Pinch of cayenne pepper ½ tsp seasoned salt Salt and pepper to taste You will also need: soup pot, mesh strainer, food mill Sort the peas in a mesh strainer, removing any stones or impurities. Rinse them clean.

Combine the peas, celery, carrot, onion, thyme, bay leaf and cayenne in a soup pot and cover with 2 quarts (8 cups) of water. Bring the pot to a boil. Keep at a high simmer for 20 minutes. Reduce heat to a low simmer.

Let the mixture cook for another 25-30 minutes till the peas are completely tender. Towards the end of cooking, add the seasoned salt, then add salt and pepper to taste. I use about ½ tsp salt and ¼ tsp of pepper. Use less if you’re sodium-sensitive.

Strain the peas through a food mill or a fine mesh sieve. A food mill will create the smoothest, creamiest texture.

Strain the pea mixture till all of the liquid is pushed through, and only pulp remains. A creamy soup will result.

Bring the soup to a quick boil once more on the stovetop, then remove from heat immediately. If the soup seems too thick, add some hot water to thin it out to the desired consistency.

Serve hot. Keep leftover soup refrigerated in a sealed container. When the soup is chilled, it will solidify. Adding a little water and stirring as you reheat will help the soup to heat up more smoothly. A

IKWTA

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 59

FEATURE

Playing for Keeps The Israel Philharmonic is about more than music

BY BRIE STIMSON

W

hen people would rather buy tickets for your concert than eat or live in a nice house, you know you have something special.

“We have season ticket holders who literally scrape together every penny they have,” says Danielle Ames Spivek, the West Coast Director of the American Friends of the Israel Philharmonic. “So they don’t necessarily eat that well or live in a very luxurious home, but they spend their extra money – whatever they have – on subscriptions to the Israel Philharmonic because they find it so inspiring.”

Although they have Friends on the west coast, The Israel Philharmonic Orchestra has not been to San Diego since 2008.

Their concert, coming to town on Nov. 12, opens the La Jolla Music Society’s Celebrity Orchestra series, and features “A journey to the end of the millennium” by the Israeli composer Josef Bardanashvili, Ravel’s “La Valse,” “poeme choregraphique,” and Beethoven’s Symphony No. 3, “Eroica.”

“The musicians love coming to California,” Ames Spivek says. “We have a lot of friends and supporters in California…and there’s a huge fan base here so it’s definitely special.”

For the members of the IPO, their work is about more than classical music. It represents strength, resilience, and the power of music to bring people together and change lives.

The orchestra very literally saved thousands of lives, those of musicians 60 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

and their families who fled Europe for the Holy Land in the days before the Holocaust.

Bronislaw Huberman, the great Poland-born violinist, founded the orchestra in 1936. Huberman foresaw the Holocaust and left Europe for what was then Palestine; persuading 75 other musicians from major European orchestras to come with him.

The orchestra’s first concert was performed on Dec. 26, 1936, at Levant Fair Hall in Tel Aviv. The conductor, Arturo Toscanini, who had escaped the rise of Fascism in Italy, said at the time, “I am doing this for humanity. “ The orchestra performed for soldiers of the Jewish Brigade in the Western Desert during World War II, and first traveled to the U.S. in 1950.

Some artists have been members of the orchestra for decades and others are third-generation musicians. A few of the current members have grandparents who played with Huberman and their parents after them.

The grandfather of Gabriel Vole, a current bassist in the Israel Philharmonic, came to the young country with Huberman in 1936 and played the orchestra’s first concert. Many of the auditions for the musicians took place at the violinist’s home. Gabriel’s father, Dr. Leo Vole, performed the double bass as well, along with his mother Sara who played piano with the orchestra on occasion.

“There are also some who have come recently from the former Soviet

Union and they’ve only been living in Israel for a handful of years,” Ames Spivek says. “So the orchestra’s very diverse in terms of country of origin that people are originally from. It’s a mix of immigrants and those who’ve been born in Israel; all different walks of life and they come together for one goal, which is to put their own identities aside to come together and perform as one.”

The musicians endure an incredible schedule. Traveling the world as ambassadors of Israel, while touring in Europe they travel during the day and perform at night because travel costs are so high. Although they have many supporters throughout the world, Ames Spivek says there simply isn’t the money to give the musicians much time off.

In some ways they are victims of their own talent. They were such a success in their first visit to Singapore last year, they are going back again this year – a difficult schedule for an orchestra already committed to a full season in Israel, a summer tour of the prominent music festivals of Europe, and a several city tour of the U.S. in November.

“Really they never stop,” Ames Spivek says. “They are the hardest working orchestra…They’re really, really tireless because of their belief in what our mission is.”

Many of the musicians stay with the orchestra for a lifetime, and most consider it to be much more than a career – it’s a family.

According to Ames Spivek, classical music has always been very appreciated in Israel.

“And it’s also culturally helped a lot of immigrants especially those who come from Russia and the former Soviet Union who maybe language was a barrier but music was a language which transcended all of that.”

The Israel Philharmonic Orchestra also does a lot of charity work with children and music education programs that bring Arab-Israeli children to programming that combines concerts for Jewish-Israeli schools with those for Arab-Israeli schools.

When rockets from Gaza were falling on Tel Aviv last summer, the orchestra didn’t cancel any performances. One night, sirens went go off while the orchestra played. Maestro Zubin Mehta refused to leave the stage.

One of the principal players stayed with him and continued to play. They have a bomb shelter in their auditorium, which can accommodate more than 2,000 people. The audience shuffled into the bomb shelter while the musicians carried on with their performance.

“Because that’s what they do,” Ames Spivek marvels. “They keep going on... It’s kind of a place of refuge and sanctuary and serenity during difficult times. So it has added meaning being a musician in Israel.” A Catch the Israel Philharmonic when they return to San Diego on Nov. 12. Find more information about the show at ljms.org.

“Because that’s what they do,” Ames Spivek marvels.

“They keep going on... It’s kind of a place of refuge and sanctuary and serenity during difficult times. So it has added meaning being a musician in Israel.”

PHOTOS COURTESY LA JOLLA MUSIC SOCIETY

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 61

THEATER

Stepping Out Onto

“GOLDA’S BALCONY” Inventive one-woman show comes

to San Diego for limited engagement

BY PAT LAUNER

S

he may have looked like a Yiddishe Mama, but she was a tough-as-nails leader and the indomitable Mother of a nation. That would be Golda Meir and the State of Israel.

Golda’s story is expansive and impressive, and a small part of it is depicted in the 2003 stageplay, “Golda’s Balcony,” by William Gibson.

Golda was born in 1898 in Kiev, Ukraine, the daughter of a poor carpenter. She never forgot the terrifying door-to-door searches of the Cossacks, or the pogrom that nearly devastated her family.

After living in poverty for years, her father left for the “golden land” of America, and ultimately brought his family to Milwaukee. Golda’s older sister, Sheyna, later moved to Denver. When their parents didn’t think Golda should continue her education, but should instead work to bring in money for the family, she left home and went to live with her sister.

Sheyna’s house was filled with Jewish intellectuals, endlessly discussing political and social issues. It was there that Golda met Morris Meyerson, a soft-spoken man with a love of art, poetry, literature and music – passions he

62 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

introduced to Golda.

Reconciled with her parents, Golda returned to Milwaukee and became a schoolteacher.

Her parents were very active in the Jewish community, and during World War I, their house was a meeting-place for young Zionists. When she learned about the Jewish Legion, which was fighting against the Turkish regime, Golda tried to enlist, but girls weren’t accepted.

Toward the end of WWI, Golda and Morris were married. Golda began her long association with the Zionist movement, traveling the country, spreading Zionist ideals. This was the choice she always made: the Jewish homeland over her personal home-life. Ultimately, it would destroy her marriage.

In 1920, she and Morris moved to Palestine and had two children: Menachem and Sarah.

But Golda felt imprisoned by housework and intellectual stagnation.

She accepted a traveling job for the Histadrut, the national labor union. By 1928, she and Morris were separated; they divorced 10 years later.

In 1948, when the Jewish state was declared.

Golda Meir was one of 24 signers of Israel’s declaration of independence. But immediately afterward, the war of independence began. Golda was sent to the U.S. to raise money for the war effort and she was highly successful.

In 1967, at age 69, Golda decided it was time to retire from her long life in public office (Minister of Labor, Foreign Minister). Soon after, Prime Minister Levi Eschol suffered a heart attack and died. Golda was pulled out of retirement and elected the fourth Prime Minister of Israel. On Yom Kippur 1973, Egypt and Syria attacked Israel and war ensued.

Golda’s fraught interactions and gutwrenching decisions – with Israeli and American leaders – at that time form the dramatic crux of Gibson’s play.

The play, the life challenges The title, “Golda’s Balcony,” refers to an observation area inside the secret Dimona nuclear weapons facility.

Gibson’s one-woman drama provocatively suggests that Golda threatened Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger with the launch of nuclear

weapons, which would conceivably start World War III, unless the U.S. came to Israel’s aid.

Producer, director, writer and marketing maven Jay Kholos saw the premiere production of “Golda’s Balcony” in New York City. He was smitten by the play, and Tovah Feldshuh’s multiaward-winning performance. “Golda’s Balcony” became the longest-running one-woman show in Broadway history.

“I thought it was incredible,” Kholos, a California native and former San Diego resident who now lives in Nashville, says.

“I thought, ‘I’d like to license that show and present it.’ My concept was different from what Tovah – and later, Valerie Harper [who starred in the 2006 film] – were doing. I wanted to bring it to smaller venues and communities, and into synagogues and JCCs.” Kholos found his Golda in Francine Berk, a Nashville actor whom he cast in his own creation, the musical “A Stoop on Orchard Street,” which focused on the early 20th century Jewish immigrant experience in New York. He produced the show in Nashville (which has a Jewish population of 7,500), Philadelphia and New York.

“Francine is one of the most – perhaps the most – talented people I’ve ever worked with,” says Kholos, who spent the ’60s working for “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” “The Red Skelton Show” and “The Jack Benny Show.”

“She absolutely channels Golda Meir.

Audiences were captivated. And it’s not easy keeping 600 Jews from talking or moving for 90 minutes. We’re not the easiest audience!”

Golda comes to San Diego Kholos is willing to challenge the Jewish audiences of San Diego and Palm Springs. He’s anxious to return to San Diego where, in the late 1970s, he and his former wife were founders of Temple Solel.

Solel is his North County venue for the small run of San Diego shows. The others are Congregation Beth Israel in La Jolla and Temple Emanu-El in Del Cerro. There’s also a free matinee at Seacrest Village, for residents only.

“I wanted to make this wonderful show available to people who can’t get out, or can’t afford to go to the theater,” Kholos says. “Seacrest has also invited 22 Holocaust survivors to their performance.”

Kholos travels with four crew members, who provide lighting, sets and “a very professional look” to the production. He plans to tour the show, which will continue in Florida, and hopefully, up to 50 other cities. But, he says, it’s hard to secure the rights to the piece, since Feldshuh holds the reins, and still likes to perform the role on occasion. That’s why Kholos requests smaller cities and venues.

Although Golda Meir was formidable, Kholos remembers that she reminded him of his grandmother.

“I saw her as a Bubbe – but she never was. Her

strength, her power, and the story of how she went against convention are inspiring. She was incredible, way ahead of her time as a woman.

And she would risk everything for Israel.”

Francine becomes Golda So, how does a Nice Jewish Girl from Brooklyn embody this Russian/Milwaukee/Israeli powerhouse?

Francine Berk (née Yurkowitz) feels “a kinship” with Golda.

“My Grandma Fay was from Kiev, like Golda,” she says. “She had stories to mirror the horrors Golda observed. Then she came to the U.S. and became a successful businesswoman.”

Berk (who’s being marketed in this show simply as “Francine!”) grew up in Port Washington, Long Island, the eldest of three girls. Her father was a salesman in the “schmatta” business; her mother was a homemaker (“a balabusta, as she put it”).

And her uncle, whose father was a Torah scribe, was the rabbi at the community synagogue in Sands Point, where she attended Hebrew School, and was Bat Mitzvahed and confirmed. Later, she would briefly live on a kibbutz in Israel.

There was a time when Francine, always a talented singer, considered becoming a cantor.

But theater was her true passion. She made her stage debut at age 9, as Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz.” At 14, she was evaluated and recommended for the Pre-College Division of the Juilliard School. But her mother, recommending a more “practical” career, wouldn’t let her attend.

Recalling that “the woman at Juilliard told my parents I could be the next Beverly Sills,” Francine admits that she “resented that decision for years. My mother always said, ‘We’re simple people. What do we know from show business?’

Her relatives had been musicians in Russia, but they weren’t considered ‘sensible.’”

Her mother recently admitted that the Juilliard decision was probably the biggest mistake she ever made. Yet when it came time for college, Francine’s mother still wouldn’t allow her to study theater. Since her father wanted her to be a lawyer, she earned a B.A. in political science at the State University of New York at Binghamton, but in her spare time she worked as a singing waitress in a jazz bar, and performed in musical theater, winning awards along the way.

She actively pursued a country singing career; a major Nashville producer, smitten by a song she’d written, called her “the Bette Midler of Country.”

She moved to Nashville to cut an album, but the producer died unexpectedly, “and my song went with him.”

Still, Francine says optimistically, “everything has its bashert [destiny] element.”

If she hadn’t moved to Nashville, she wouldn’t have auditioned for “The Stoop on Orchard Street,” she wouldn’t have met Jay Kholos, and she wouldn’t be playing Golda Meir.

“I’m absolutely dedicated to the piece,” she says. “I’ve read and re-read Golda’s biography.

I bought a copy of the speeches she gave – in

Yiddish, Hebrew and English. I studied how she expressed herself. She was so brilliant, so eloquent.

“I’ve worked to achieve an amalgamation of Yiddish, which she used at home, even in Milwaukee, crossed with a Midwest and a Hebrew accent.”

Francine sees Golda as “a working mother long before that was fashionable. And she was working on big issues. She called it a ‘duality’ in her life: her cause vs. her family.”

As for the issue of war in the play, to Francine, Golda “clearly suffered torment and heartache. We can never know if she would ever have pushed the button. And I thank G-d that we never had to find out. But she did say, ‘I cannot in good conscience ever again allow my people to be extinguished. If I can prevent another Holocaust, I will.’

“She had to confront the painful question: ‘Do I have the right to destroy another people to preserve my people?’ It’s a calamitous decision, an achingly brutal situation.”

Golda lived to be 80; she died of lymphoma in 1978.

“It’s amazing that William Gibson was able to embody this whole lifetime in just 64 pages,” says Francine. He presents less a historical figure than a real person who lived a relatable life.

“My biggest fear in taking on this role,” Francine continues, “is: I don’t want to insult her soul. I keep going back to the clips, to see her eyes, study her moves. She was very contemplative, very meticulous in her thinking. Before she spoke, her eyes became thoughtful. She knew how easy it was to fuel a fire. She weighed and measured every word. You could see she was considering all sides.

“I want to be sure I’m representing her fairly.

I’d like to think that, if Golda were here, she’d say: ‘How did you know me?’ And I want the audience to feel like they just met Golda Meir.’” A “Golda’s Balcony” plays at Temple Solel on Nov. 1 (2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.); at Temple Emanu-El on Nov. 5 (7:30 p.m.); and at Congregation Beth Israel on Nov. 7 (7:30 p.m.) and Nov. 8 (2 p.m.).

Tickets and information: (619) 202-4503; or at ticketsforplay.com

Francine Berk plays Golda Meir in San Diego.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 63

“Watchers of the Sky” Inspires Justice in Face of Genocide A timely review of an old story made new

BY MICHAEL FOX

N

o matter how enthusiastically a critic may commend Edet Belzberg’s artful and inspiring documentary, “Watchers of the Sky,” the fact is, many readers will lose interest as soon as they hear the word “genocide.”

Raphael Lemkin would understand completely.

A Polish Jew born in 1900 on a farm near Bialystok, Lemkin was a student of history who became a victim of history and, ultimately, left his mark on history.

Lemkin trained as a lawyer and, remarkably, found his mission when he was just 21: to change the legal framework for dealing with mass murder.

“Why is the killing of a million a lesser crime than the killing of an individual?” Lemkin asked.

Lemkin was dismayed that the international community allowed the Turks to get away with massacring the Armenians. He was appalled by the tacit agreement among nations that a government operating within its own borders was free from outside intervention.

Through archival footage and photographs, onscreen text, animation and the narration of Samantha Power, author of “A Problem From Hell” and U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, “Watchers of the Sky” threads Lemkin’s remarkable life story into a riveting narrative that encompasses contemporary standard-bearers for international justice.

A stunningly ambitious work that achieves the level of art, “Watchers of the Sky” is currently on Netflix following a limited theatrical release last fall.

Incredibly, Lemkin endured what he had read in history books, namely the murder of family IMAGES COURTESY “WATCHERS OF THE SKY”

64 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

members (at the hands of the Nazis) and exile. He landed in the U.S. in 1941, and the next chapter of his life provides the most revelatory, agonizing and poignant segment of “Watchers of the Sky.” He labored to coin a word – “ethnocide” was one candidate – that would uniquely invoke the organized murders of a targeted group, eventually arriving at “genocide.”

After the war, without resources or allies, equipped only with unimaginable perseverance and an unwavering sense of what was right, Lemkin personally lobbied dozens and dozens of members of the newly created United Nations to vote to codify genocide as a crime and to take responsibility for prosecuting future incidents.

Part of the resistance he encountered was a belief that the horrors of the Third Reich were so enormous and reviled that they would never be repeated. If anything, this detail provides even more proof that Lemkin was many years ahead of his time.

The high point of “Watchers of the Sky” is the U.N. vote that resulted solely from the work of one man – Raphael Lemkin.

Many years later, but as a direct consequence of Lemkin’s efforts, the International Criminal Court was established.

If “Watchers of the Sky” concerned itself solely with resurrecting, celebrating and immortalizing Raphael Lemkin, it would stand as a valuable contribution. But the film goes much further, and by extending the past into the present it furthers Lemkin’s work and itself becomes an act of conscience.

One of the central characters in the film is

If “Watchers of the Sky” concerned itself solely with resurrecting, celebrating and immortalizing Raphael Lemkin, it would stand as a valuable contribution.

But the film goes much further, and by extending the past into the present it furthers Lemkin’s work and itself becomes an act of conscience.

Luis Moreno Ocampo, the Argentine attorney who was named the first Chief Prosecutor of the International Criminal Court. Ambassador Power provides another powerful voice of conscience, along with Emmanuel Uwurukundo, a Rwandan national who is the U.N. Refugee Agency Field Director in Chad.

A somewhat forlorn figure is Ben Ferencz, a former Nuremberg prosecutor in his 80s who continues to travel and lobby for peace. Of all the righteous deeds documented in “Watchers of the Sky,” Ferencz’s ongoing efforts seem to fall on the deafest ears.

But the nature of the good fight is that there are setbacks, and Ferenz’s inclusion in “Watchers of the Sky” speaks to the film’s embrace of reality rather than empty, platitude-draped optimism.

For even as we are invited by the film, and especially by the towering example of Raphael Lemkin, to bring mass murderers to justice and end the practice of genocide, it remains an ongoing struggle. A

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?

WHAT S GOING ON ?? '

A Lil’ Bit of Everything

BY EILEEN SONDAK

LEFT: California Ballet will perform “The Great Gatsby” at the Civic Theatre Oct. 23-25.

BOTTOM: San Diego Rep’s “My Manana Comes” will run downtown through Oct. 25.

PHOTO COURTESY CALIFORNIA BALLET

T

his month, there’s a grab-bag of offerings on local stages including a spectacular new production of “The Phantom of the Opera” ready to burst onto the Civic Theatre stage, and a dance interpretation of “The Great Gatsby,” performed by the California Ballet. October also marks the much-anticipated return of the San Diego Symphony. The small-fry set can join in on the fun when The Lamb’s unveils a new musical adaptation of “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz,” and both J*Company and Junior Theatre start their seasons with a musical version of the classic children’s story, “Mary Poppins.”

Broadway-San Diego is ready to deliver a new incarnation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s phenomenal musical success, “The Phantom of the Opera.”

This production comes to San Diego after a sold-out tour of the United Kingdom, so fans of the show get ready to be enthralled. Along with

66 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

PHOTO BY DAREN SCOTT

“Phantom’s” legendary chandelier, there are other thrilling special effects to be oogled, along with new scenic and lighting designs and a 52-piece orchestra. “Phantom” will be captivating audiences Oct. 7-18.

The San Diego Symphony will launch its season Oct. 9-11, when Jahja Ling conducts pianist Yuja Wang in a program that includes works

by Prokoviev, Mozart, and J. Strauss, Jr. The opening night gala is set for Oct. 10. That includes a pre-concert reception and dinner at the University Club, followed by Wang playing Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 2 and Rimsky-Korsakov’s Capriccio Espagnol. Supporters will return to the University Club to round out the evening with a post-concert party. On Oct. 18, the Bollywood Masala Orchestra and dancers from India will present “The Spirit of India.”

“Beethoven and John Adams” is on tap for Oct. 23-25, with guest

PHOTO BY J. KATARZYNA WORONOWICZ

conductor Edo de Waart leading the orchestra and violinist James Ehnes performing the Violin Concerto. “Disney in Concert: Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas” will create a scary Halloween Oct. 30-31.The season will play on through the end of May, with several musical highlights, including an appearance by Pinchas Zukerman conducting the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra in January.

California Ballet will perform “The Great Gatsby” at the Civic Theatre Oct. 23-25. Accompanied by the live jazz music of Billy Novick’s Blue Syncopators, the dance work will fuse contemporary ballet, jazz, and tap with narrative to bring F. Scott Fitzgerald’s roaring ’20s masterwork to the stage.

The La Jolla Playhouse is showing off another world premiere, “Blueprints to Freedom: An Ode to Bayard Rustin.” This portrait of redemption (set in the racial turbulence of 1963) will wind down on Oct. 4. However, a new “Without Walls” weekend of 20 immersive site-inspired works will take place in and around the Playhouse Oct. 9-11 and the multimedia “Without Walls” production of “Healing Wars” will continue to entertain audiences with multi-media effects at the Mandell Weiss Forum through Oct. 25.

The Old Globe’s Main Stage production is a world-premiere dancetheater musical. Titled “In Your Arms,” this exciting new work uses a series of stories by the likes of Christopher Durang, Alfred Uhry, Marsha Norman, David Henry Hwang, and other master storytellers, and weaves them against a mosaic of music and dance. The artists involved have earned a slew of prestigious awards. Don’t miss this show (which dominates the Main Stage through Oct. 25).

The Globe’s White Theatre is active as well. “Full Gallop” is off and running at the in-the-round space where it will remain through Oct. 25. This one-woman tour de force deals with the larger-than-life doyenne of American taste, Diana Vreeland, who changed the way Americans experience clothing, art, and life.

Cygnet is featuring two sides of the great Noel Coward in its “Coward X2” rotating repertory shows.

“Hay Fever,” an amusing and effervescent mix of flirtation and artistic eccentricities, alternates with “The Vortex,” Coward’s dark and shocking drama, at the Old Town Theatre through Nov. 8. The everpopular Rosina Reynolds stars in both Coward classics.

The Lamb’s will roll out the world premiere of a new musical adaptation of “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.” Audiences of all ages will want to return to Oz with Dorothy and her friends when this wondrous story plays out at the Lamb’s Players’ Coronado home Oct. 9-Nov. 16. The Lamb’s Horton Grand’s revival of the popular “Mixtape” – an ’80s-based musical revue will run at least through Oct. 4.

North Coast Rep’s “The Fox on the Fairway” closes on Oct. 4. Following on Oct. 21, is the West Coast premiere of “Chapatti,” a heartwarming, two-character tour de force that celebrates late-blooming love. The show, directed by Tony Award-winning actress Judith Ivey, will stay on through Nov. 15. The troupe’s theater school will perform “A Tale of Two Cities” at the Avo Oct. 15-17.

San Diego Repertory Theatre will unveil “My Mañana Comes” on Oct. 1. The complex drama about the American dream revolves around the often invisible busboys in a swanky restaurant. The show continues at the Lyceum through Oct. 25.

Both J*Company and San Diego Junior Theatre will bring “Mary Poppins” to life this month. J*Company’s staging will kick off its 23rd

“Blueprints to Freedom: An Ode to Bayard Rustin” runs through Oct. 4 at the La Jolla Playhouse. season on Oct. 16 and run through Nov. 1 at the La Jolla JCC, while Junior Theatre moves its production of the musical into the Casa del Prado on Oct. 23, where it will remain through Nov. 8.

Moxie’s world premiere of “Orange Julius” is exploring the effects of agent orange in a hard-driving production, through Oct. 18.

The Museum of Contemporary Art is offering the public a rare opportunity to see contemporary art from private local collections. These artworks will remain on view through Jan. 10, 2016. Also on display in La Jolla, is “One Cannot Look: Graphic Wars,” an exhibition that features Goya’s seminal prints and other items from USD and the museum’s collection. The show will stay on through Nov. 29.

Continuing in the downtown facility through Nov. 1 is a work by Anya Gallaccio, and “Pond Lily Over Mushroom Cloud,”” an exhibition exploring Byron Kim’s ideas on politics, cultural identity, and race. “John Spreckels: The Impossible Railroad,” which celebrates the centennial of Balboa Park’s 1915 Exposition, will be ensconced downtown through Nov.1 as well.

The Reuben H. Fleet Science Center is highlighting three IMAX films: “Jean-Michel Cousteau’s Secret Ocean,” “Humpback Whales” and “Journey to Space.” The museum has several permanent exhibitions, including “Don’t Try This at Home,” “Tinkering Studio,” “Block Busters,” and “Origins in Space.”

Mingei unveiled an exhibition celebrating folk art from coast to coast.

“Made in America: Craft Icons of the 50 States” includes jewelry, pottery, baskets, and textiles, and will be on display through Feb. 21 of next year.

“Procession,” a fantastical work that displays a parade of 130 figures, will remain on view throughout the year. A display of American Folk Art Walking Sticks will continue at Mingei through Jan. 10, 2016.

San Diego Early Music Society will launch its season on Oct. 23 with New York Baroque, Inc. at St. James by-the-sea. A Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 67

business

FAMILY FRIENDLY Popular family dental practice celebrates 10 years in La Jolla

BY TINA B. ESHEL

I

n La Jolla Village, you’ll find many spas and you’ll find many dentists, but what are the chances you’ll find a dental office that makes you feel like you’ve visited a spa? For 25 years, La Jolla Family Smile Design has been treating patients like family, says Dr. Jaime Breziner, who, along with his partner, Dr. Abraham Romanowsky, makes up the dynamic dental duo. But it’s more than the comfortable spa-like setting that has earned this practice high regard from patients from all walks of life.

“We have patients who’ve been with us for 25 years. Our office is a very high tech office,” Breziner says. “We have the latest technology to offer our patients, like digital impressions and digital x-rays. We use lasers and the latest technology to make our patients really comfortable.

“But the most important feature that makes our practice unique is the way we treat our patients. Starting with our facility that is a spalike office – on Google+ you can a virtual tour.”

Breziner credits his staff for helping to set high professional standards as well.

“Our staff is trained to really take care of the patients starting with the way we answer the phone, and we treat the patient without pain and we are all about service.”

This year is a special one for the practice – they just celebrated their 10-year anniversary in their current location in the heart of La Jolla Village, Breziner says during our phone call.

The practice has grown and continues to set 68 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

trends as they treat patients of all ages, and in some cases, entire families. For example, “we have been a mercury-free practice since we moved to our new location. We don’t do silver fillings at all. Some of our specialties are the cosmetic veneers with minimal tooth damage,” Breziner says. They also do a lot Invisaline, which are the clear orthodontics for teens and adults and “we restore implants, which is the latest technology.”

Breziner, who was born in Columbia and got his dental training at Loma Linda University, knew he wanted to be a dentist when he was in high school. “I was always really good with my hands, building miniature planes and revels (plastic puzzles)…always good in the sciences and very personable. So putting all those things together, dentistry was glove fit for me.”

He says patients are like family to the practice – which includes five hygienists and the two dentists – and they hail from La Jolla, Carmel Valley, San Diego and even as far south as Chula Vista.

“We are a family dentist, so me and my partner offer a great family setting for families to get all their dental needs.”

To this point, he quietly invites me to see for myself by checking out their Yelp reviews.

“See what patients say,” he says. “That will give you an idea from outside perspective.

Once patients come here, they become our ambassadors.”

Indeed, the practice has a five-star rating on

“Our staff is trained to really take care of the patients starting with the way we answer the phone, and we treat the patient without pain and we are all about service.” the popular social media review platform, which is certainly something for the practice to smile about. A La Jolla Family Smile Design 7817 Ivanhoe Ave., La Jolla, CA 92037 rblajollasmiledesign.com

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news LJCD Welcomes New Head of School

La Jolla Country Day School (LJCDS) welcomes Dr. Gary Krahn as the school’s 12th head of school in its 89-year history. A retired Brigadier General, prior to joining LJCDS Krahn served as the head of Trinity Valley School in Fort Worth, Texas, from 2006-2015.

“Dr. Krahn overwhelmingly emerged as the committee’s first choice,” noted LJCDS Board President, Manish Parikh.

Established in 1926, the school educates children age 3 through high school graduation.

Nationally Acclaimed Engineering Program Comes to Soille

JFS Awarded Grant for New Building

Jewish Family Service of San Diego (JFS) has received a grant of $12,166 from the County of San Diego’s District 4 Neighborhood Reinvestment Program. The grant money will go toward the purchase of furniture for the counseling lobby and children’s waiting area of JFS’s new Joan and Irwin Jacobs Campus, which is currently under construction next door to the nonprofit’s current location on Balboa Ave. in Clairemont Mesa.

“The furniture we will purchase through the County of San Diego’s grant will contribute significantly to the positive experience of San Diegans who turn to us to improve their lives,” said JFS CEO Michael Hopkins. “Studies have shown comfortable, welcoming lobbies and children’s waiting areas are important components of a successful counseling experience. Thank you, District 4!”

Scheduled to open in December 2015, the Joan and Irwin Jacobs Campus will improve clients’ experience by using evidence-based design and best practices to create a healthy, therapeutic environment. The campus will include new client- and community-centered features, such as a food pantry, a state-of-the-art industrial kitchen, an outdoor play space and edible garden, and open-space architecture to foster staff and volunteer collaboration. To learn more, visit jfssd.org.

Soille Hebrew Day recently announced their participation in a national engineering program making its pilot across the country.

Created by the Center for Initiatives in Jewish Education (CIJE), the CIJETech MS Program will debut in 35 Jewish Middle Schools throughout the U.S. “America needs scientists and engineers, just as it needs young men and women inspired by Jewish values and ideals. This expanded STEM programs enables us to be even better on both fronts,” noted Headmaster Rabbi Simcha Weiser.

For information about the program and how it will be implemented at Soille Hebrew Day, contact Beth Licha, Director of Admissions, at (858) 279-3300 or at blicha@hebrewday.org.

Federation Receives $3 Million for Teen Initiative

The Jewish Federation of San Diego has received a grant of $3 million from the San Francisco-based Jim Joseph Foundation to help the local organization launch a new Teen Initiative. Designed to engage more Jewish teens in San Diego, the initiative hopes to welcome high school students to take part in philanthropy and service.

As part of the grant, a local Jewish Teen Volunteer Corps will be created and hosted at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center.

Caryn Viterbi, who co-chairs the Teen Steering Committee, said, “It is the hope of the steering committee, and all those who helped design this initiative, that we will create many meaningful learning opportunities for teens to connect Jewishly.”

Learn more: jewishinsandiego.org/jewish-community-news/the-jewish-teenfoundation.

70 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

Race for the Cure Returns to San Diego – Registration Open Now

San Diego’s Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure will be held this year on Sunday, Nov. 1 in Balboa Park.

Registration is open now.

Susan G. Komen San Diego is the County’s largest provider of free breast cancer treatments, services and support. The nonprofit also provides temporary financial aid – including rent, mortgage, prescription drug payments and more –for woman diagnosed with breast cancer. Proceeds from the walk go to support their work and cancer research.

Contact the race team at (760) 692-2900 or email race@sdkomen. org to register or make a donation.

Tax Attorney Recognized as “Top 5 Best” in San Diego

SDMA to Host Art of Elan

The San Diego Museum of Art is crossing the great divide to bring San Diego audiences a diverse line up of unique chamber music events from New York based New Amsterdam Records as part of the 9th Art of Élan season.

The partnership speaks to Art of Élan’s commitment to supporting emerging artists and composers. They begin the season with what they are calling a “provocative program” of works by female composers, including dramatic and colorful compositions by Israeli composer Shulamit Ran. Ran’s “East Wind” for solo flute references both the tragic and epic nature of human experience. The program is scheduled for Tuesday, Oct. 6.

Other artists include Judd Greenstein, Caroline Shaw, Nico Muhly and Anna Clyne.

In programming the 2015-2016 “Crossing the Divide” season, Kate Hatmaker, artistic director and co-founder of the Art of Élan, said that they looked to unite increasingly segregated beliefs, actions and influences through an exploration of shared humanity and the discovery of a common language for the 21st century.

The SDMA Art of Élan season begins Oct. 6 and tickets can be purchased online at sdmart.org. A complete lineup of concerts is at artofelan.org.

In late August, attorney John D. Milikowsky, founder of Milikowsky Tax Law, was recognized by the San Diego Union Tribune’s Reader’s Poll as one of the “Top Five Best Tax Lawyers in San Diego.”

“I am so fortunate to have a team of talented lawyers and staff that made this honor possible,” Milikowsky said of the award.

The annual list is comprised of 176 categories and is issued online and in print at the end of each summer.

John Milikowsky, who founded the Tax Law center in 2009, is fluent in Hebrew and has practiced law in both Israel and the United States.

Learn more at milikowskytaxlaw.com.

CSA Program Comes to JCC

Local organic grower Suzie’s Farm is offering a community supported agriculture (CSA) program available for pick up at the JCC. Part of a national program run by the Farm, boxes of fresh organic produce are delivered to central distribution centers on a weekly basis. Suzie’s Farm has now partnered with Hazon, the Jewish Food Justice program, to deliver weekly to the JCC in La Jolla on Thursday afternoons.

The price is $150 for a 6-week commitment, and with your new order you’ll receive complimentary tour passes to tour Suzie’s Farm, which includes harvesting vegetables.

Register at csa.farmigo.com and select Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center, or call Molly at (858) 362-1132 for more information.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 71

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Beatrice Blumovicz – Slovatizki Chula Vista 11/22/1936-7/04/2015 Survivors: husband, Rafael Slovatizki; sons, Julius, Nathan and Moses Slovatizki; and three grandchildren Bernard Friedland - San Diego 10/24/1919-7/04/2015 Survivors: daughters, Debrah Friedland Vanzyl and Amanda Friedland; sons, Dr. Daniel, Max and Stephen Friedland; and 10 grandchildren Morris Avruch - Solana Beach 6/16/1928-7/05/2015 Survivors: wife, Adele Avruch; and son Jeffrey Avruch David Serbin - Santa Barbara 6/01/1920-7/07/2015 Survivors: daughter, Carole Rish; son, Glen Serbin; and three grandchildren

72 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

Neil Stein- San Diego 1/21/1953-7/06/2015 Survivors: Brother, Eliot Stein.

daughters , Elana Rezmovitch , Liza Blumenfeld and Julie Fine; and five grandchildren

Russell Marcus - Winchester 1/21/1970-7/09/2015 Survivors: mother, Sondra Marcus; wife, Julie Marcus; and sons, Ryan and Jacob Marcus

Lena Kanner - La Mesa 10/12/1923-7/16/2015 Survivors: son, Joseph Kanner

Edward Friedman- Carlsbad 4/28/1933-7/10/2015 Survivors: sons, Tim and Kenneth Friedman; six grandchildren and two great-grandchildren Jacob Almus - San Diego 5/20/1922-7/12/2015 Survivors: daughter, Fanny Almus; and one grandchild Semyon Zelvyansky - San Diego 5/11/1924-7/14/2015 Survivors: niece, Marina Pearsall Cheryl Dychter - Chula Vista 11/25/1943-7/14/2015 Survivors: husband , Ben Dychter,

Michael Levin - San Diego 2/21/1948-7/17/2015 Survivors: wife, Ina Levin Brownie Witztum - San Diego 4/30/1912-7/18/2015 Survivors: daughters, Felice Gordis and Ruth Witztum; son, Joseph Witztum; five grandchildren and five great-grandchildren Pamela Masters - San Diego 10/07/1946-7/20/2015 Survivors: husband, Chuck Masters; daughter, Samantha Giannulis; and three grandchil-dren Beatrice Karp - San Diego 4/09/1949-7/22/2015 Survivors: husband, Jerry Karp; daughters, Ilana and Shana Karp

DIVERSIONS

By Natalie Jacobs

“Getting Here: An Odyssey Through World War II” Local San Diegan recounts her Holocaust history.

“Very Semi-Serious” This “offbeat documentary about humor, art and the genius of the New Yorker cartoon” will screen as part of the San Diego Jewish Film Festival’s year-long programming on Oct. 28 at the David and Dorothea Garfield Theatre located in the Jewish Community Center. The “patrially thorough” documentary by Leah Wolchok premiered with rave reviews at the Tribeca Film Festival and has been picked up by HBO to begin showing in December. But San Diego audiences can catch it on its very limited theatrical run.

The New Yorker is famous for being hard to please and cartoonists often submit hundreds of ideas before one works for the editor. The film introduces us to the artistic weirdos behind the iconic cartoons and delves into their process and the challenges they face when submitting to the magazine. The film’s great tragedy is that it points out the fact that this generation will likely be the last of the great cartoonists.

“Above and Beyond” Producer Nancy Spielberg with documentary subject Harold Livingston at the Commemorative Air Force Museum in Camarillo, Calif.

“Above and Beyond” You may remember this documentary about the Jewish Americans who helped Israel in its War of Independence from last year’s Jewish Film Festival. If you didn’t have a chance to catch it then, or if you want to see it again, the film is now streaming on Netflix and Amazon Prime. In his review from our February issue, film critic Michael Fox says “While unambiguously pro-Israel, ‘Above and Beyond’ gracefully avoids simple-minded politics. It sticks to the facts, wrapped in the colorful recollections of its endearing protagonists. As a bonus, the film provides insight into the contemporary Jewish experience.” Read the full review at sdjewishjournal.com/sdjj/february-2015/ninety-year-old-top-guns.

“Black Earth: The Holocaust as History and Warning” A new explanation and how that can help us today.

“Our Story, Our Sipur” Coffee table book explores Jewish diaspora.

Crowdfunding now on Indiegogo.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 73

HAPPENINGS by tina b. eshel

O

ctober is upon us, with cooler days and earlier nights, and plenty of fun to fall into.

Check out the treats at the San Diego Zoo and Safari Park – together, they were recently voted the number one zoo in the world!

From Oct. 1-31, the Zoo and Safari Park are free to children ages 3-11 with a paying adult. Spook up the fun between Oct. 2-25 at the Rise of the Jack O’Laterns at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park, a family-friendly event featuring 5,000 pumpkins hand-carved by professional artists and sculptors and arranged in creative displays throughout a scenic walking trail. Advanced tickets only at therise.org.

The California Center for the Arts in Escondido brings you First Wednesdays, free performances on the First Wednesday of each month from September through June. Listen to the rootsy alternative sounds of “Sister Speaks” on Oct. 7 at either 4 p.m. or 7 p.m. (and plan ahead for the traditional Cuban sounds of Combo Libertad on Nov. 4). General admission tickets are free; reserve tickets for $12 are also available at artcenter.org.

There are so many cool offerings from the Center for Jewish Culture this fall including From Hasidism to Heschel: Modern Jewish Thought from Eastern Europe. The eight-week class starts Tuesday, Oct. 13 with morning and evening sessions available. More at sdcjc.org/events.aspx.

Families can celebrate Halloween all month long at Belmont Park’s Boomont Park Fall Festival and Haunt with a pumpkin patch, free trick-or-treating and a spooky roller-coaster and more. All the bootiful details for this silly spookfest at belmontpark.com/BoomontPark.

Check out Chabad Hebrew Academy’s Discovery Day: Easy, Cheesy Pizza Party, a free interactive program on Oct. 11 for parents and children up to age 6 where kids can learn a little Hebrew and cooking, at the same time. For more information to this community outreach event, contact Wendy at (858) 566-1996 ext 1204.

If you’re in your 20s-30s, check out NextGen’s offerings this month including Way Back When Wednesday Happy Hour (location tba) on Oct. 14 and the Newcomer’s Brunch on Oct. 17 held in a private home.

Contact Dan Fleischer to register at danf@jewishfederationsandiego.org.

San Diego State University brings Tango Nuevo on Oct. 20 at 7 p.m.

This free concert explores the connection between this sensual dance and the Jews who composed the music. More at jewishstudies.sdsu.edu.

Get swanky at the 3rd Annual Whiskey & Wine BBQ Oct. 22 featuring a welcome reception, Estancia-style BBQ dinner, live music, and spirits from Jack Daniel’s and Trinitas Cellars. Tickets start at $80 per person. This and all other Estancia events at estancialajolla.com.

Finally, the Del Mar Fairgrounds and Racetrack bring you The Scream Zone through Nov. 1. Tickets for San Diego’s largest and scariest haunted attraction are $18-$52. And Old Hollywood style meets classic Southern California cool at the Del Mar Bing Crosby Season Oct. 29Nov. 29, with thoroughbred racing and live musical performances. Race on over to dmtc.com to get tickets to both events. A

74 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

BEST BETS

Mark your calendar.

HALLOWEEN FUN Oct. 2-25, Rise of the Jack O’Laterns at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park Oct. 2-31, Boomont Park Fall Festival and Haunt at Belmont Shores Oct. 1-Nov. 1, Scream Zone at Del Mar Fairgrounds

3RD ANNUAL WHISKEY & WINE BBQ Oct. 22 Estancia Hotel 9700 N Torrey Pines Rd, La Jolla, CA 92037 estancialajolla.com

MODERN JEWISH THOUGHT CLASS Eight weeks starting Oct. 13 Center for Jewish Culture 4126 Executive Dr, La Jolla, CA 92037 sdcjc.org

DEL MAR BING CROSBY SEASON Oct. 29-Nov. 29 2260 Jimmy Durante Blvd, Del Mar, CA 92014 dmtc.com

SENIOR CENTERS Lawrence Family JCC 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla Contact Melanie Rubin for details or to R.S.V.P. (858) 362-1141 Sleuth Sunday, Oct. 11, 1 p.m. bus departure Mystery writer Andrew Wyke’s home, like his mind, is filled with tricks, devices, and games. Cost: $38, JCC member $31 (includes ticket and bus from JCC) Newcomers’ Meeting Thursday, Oct. 15 at 10 a.m.

New to San Diego or to the JCC? Come to the JCC and kick-start your new friendships.

Oceanside Senior Center 455 Country Club Lane, Oceanside Contact Josephine at (760) 295-2564 North County Jewish Seniors Club Third Thursday of each month, 12:30 p.m.

Join us to hear speakers and/or entertainment at our monthly meetings.

Light refreshments served. Visitors are welcome.

Veterans Association of North County 1617 Mission Avenue, Oceanside CA 92058. Contact Marc Poland (858) 232-1645.

Jewish War Veterans meetings Second Sunday of each month, noon.

San Diego North County Post 385.

Seacrest Village 211 Saxony Road, Encinitas Call Jon Schwartz at (760) 516-2001 Monthly Senior Dance First Friday of every month, 1 p.m.

Refreshments and appetizers from our kosher kitchen will be provided. Free and open to the public.

JFS University City Older Adult Center 9001 Towne Centre Drive, La Jolla Contact Aviva Saad for details or to R.S.V.P. (858) 550-5998.

Shabbat San Diego Thursday, Oct. 22, 10 a.m.

Be part of the Community wide Shabbat celebration; participate in a mockShabbat Service.

On the Go excursions A program of Jewish Family Service, On the Go provides transportation to events throughout the county for homebound seniors. For information, please call Jo Kessler at (858) 637-7320.

Wanna Dance? Concert, Carlsbad Community Church Sunday, Oct. 18, bus departs at 12:45 p.m.

Cost: $36, due by Oct. 8.

Mary Poppins, J*Company at the JCC Sunday, Nov.1, bus departs at noon Cost: $33, due by Oct. 20.

Golda’s Balcony by William Gibson, The New College Avenue Center Thursday, Nov. 5, bus departs at 6:30 p.m.

Cost: $54, due by Oct. 23.

The JFS College Center has moved! The new location is now 6299 Capri Drive, San Diego, CA 92120. Contact Sara Diaz (858) 637-3270 for details on any events.

JFS No. County Inland Center 15905 Pomerado Road, Poway Contact Jodi Rudick (858) 674-1123 for details. Most Activities are free to members, and lunch is $7 with reservations.

Magic in the Moonlight Monday, Oct. 19, 9 a.m.

Fitness fusion and feeling Fit Club with hot kosher meal and a movie.

Caregivers Conference Monday, Oct. 26, 11 a.m.

Featuring vendors and speakers, followed by a 1 p.m. showing of “Welcome to Kutshers,” a film about the last Catskills resort, 2015, 70 minutes.

JFS Coastal Club at Temple Solel 3575 Manchester Ave., Cardiff by the Sea Contact Jodi Rudick (858) 674-1123 for details. R.S.V.P. for lunch by Monday at 12:30 p.m. All activities are free and lunch is $7.

The Sandwich Generation Tuesday, Oct. 13, 10 a.m.

Learn how to make inter-generational relationships successful.

Internet Demystified - What happens when you click on the ‘send’ button?

Tuesday, Oct. 20, 11 a.m.

Magic in the Moonlight: A look at Woody Allen’s 2014 take on the mystical world of magic and magicians Tuesday, Oct. 27, 11 a.m.

Showcase Film historian, John Anderson, digs into Woody Allen’s fascination with magic and illusion and how it influences this and other works.

JFS College Avenue Center 6299 Capri Drive, San Diego, CA 92120 Contact Sara Diaz (858) 637-3270 for details on any events or to R.S.V.P. Movie: Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 2 Friday, Oct. 9 at 12:45 p.m.

Advanced Care Planning with Jeneane Lorstcher, Business Development Specialist at Sharp Hospice Tuesday, Oct. 20 Advance care planning can be a gift you give yourself and your family. It is about doing what you can to ensure that your wishes and preferences are consistent with the health care treatment you might receive if you were unable to speak for yourself or make your own decisions.

Health Fair and Flu Shot Friday, Oct. 23, 9:30 a.m.

Local health care service providers, vendors and agencies will help guide you on the path to a healthier lifestyle.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 75

SHABBAT EVENTS

SYNAGOGUE LIFE SPECIAL EVENTS Congr. Beth El Women’s Connection Festival Art Series Oct. 4, 12:30 p.m.

8660 Gilman Dr, La Jolla, CA 92037 Make a glass hamsa with artist, Ilanit Shalev. Cost is $36 in advance, $40 at the door. Register at cbe.org.

Ohr Shalom Synagogue Chagall: How Jewish Music Shaped His Career Sunday, Oct. 11, 10 a.m.

2512 Third Avenue at Laurel, San Diego, CA 92103 (619) 231-1456 Temple Solel Sisterhood LunaFest Monday, Oct. 19, 6:30 p.m.

3575 Manchester Ave, Cardiff, CA 92007 (760) 436-0654 Temple Solel and Center for Jewish Culture Ambassador Dennis Ross Tuesday, Oct. 20, 7:30 p.m.

3575 Manchester Ave, Cardiff, CA 92007 (760) 436-0654 Beth Israel Men’s Club Dinner Forum featuring Mark Neville Wednesday, Oct. 21 9001 Towne Centre Drive Register at cbisd.org/event/mens-club-dinner-forum-oct15 Temple Emanu-El Artisan Festival Sunday, Nov. 1, 9 a.m.

6299 Capri Dr, San Diego, CA 92120 (619) 286-2555 76 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

Congr. Beth El Shabbaton: A Shabbat of Gratitude Nov. 12-15 8660 Gilman Dr, La Jolla, CA 92037; cbe.org, R.S.V.P. now.

Rabbi Shefa Gold will lead a scholar-in-residence weekend.

MOVES AND MAZEL TOVS: Yasher Koach to the Avodah Mitzvah Corp teens from Temple Emanu-El for picking up 15 lbs of trash from De Anza Cove on Sept. 20!

Mazel tov to Mitch Siegler, who has been elected as President of the Beth Israel Board of Directors. *Interested in having your event featured?

Contact tinamarieb@sdjewishjournal.com. Submissions are due by Oct. 15 for the November issue.

Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 77

3

ACROSS 1. ‫( מבול‬11:10) 3. ‫( בנה‬11:5) 5. ‫( קדם‬10:30) 6. ‫( משפחה‬10:5)

DOWN 2. ‫( שכם‬9:23) 4. ‫( עוף‬9:2) 6.‫( חמשים‬9:28) 7. ‫( ילד‬11:30)

(Hint: During and after the flood)

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• on the sun every 28 years, commemorating HaShem’s creation of the world?

Which blessings does one recite:

blessings

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Check your answers at: www.thefamousabba.com/NOACH

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Complete the crossword by translating each Hebrew word into English. Use the parsha reference for help.

CROSSWORD

• All the animals, Noach and his family fit into the ark.

• No two tigers have the same stripe pattern.

Wonders of hashem

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weekly chinuch podcast - almost 100 posted!

CHINUCH + Parsha < 5 minutes www.thefamousabba.com/podcasts

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___ Build the ark ___ Brought an offering ___ Sent the dove ___ Sent the raven

In which order did Noach do the following:

950 YEARS

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historical timeline

RAINBOW

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Which one is different? (Hint: Noach)

spot the difference

• HaShem giving Noach the covenant of the rainbow (9:8).

• The final warning to Noach to board the ark (6:1).

Act out these scenes with friends and family.

PARSHA SKIT ideas

• Your neighbor’s dog always comes to into your backyard.

• The elephant at the zoo was hiding from all the people.

you be the judge

HaShem calls Noach a righteous man, perfect in his generation. HaShem tells Noach that He is going to destroy all the life upon the Earth through a flood and Noach is to make an ark and he is to bring his family into the ark. After Noach’s family and the animals were inside, in the 2nd month, on the 17th of the month, the flood began. Only those in the ark survived.

After the rains stopped, Noach sent a raven and dove to see if he should leave the ark. HaShem commanded Noach to leave. When Noach left, he built an alter and gave offerings to HaShem.

HaShem commanded Noach and his family to have many children and gave them permission to eat animals. HaShem made a rainbow as a sign that He will never destroy the Earth again with a flood. The Torah lists the descendents of Noach that make up the 70 nations of the world.

The people of Babel tried to build a tower to the sky, but HaShem stopped them and spread them over the whole world with various languages.

Welcoming Guests: Say “hi” to your guests with a huge smile!

SUPER SHABBat SHEET 4 MARCHESHVAN 5776 PARASHAT NOACH

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To receive your Shalom BaBy BaSkeT and for informaTion conTacT: San Diego .............. Judy Nemzer • 858.362.1352 • shalombaby@lfjcc.org North County......... Vivien Dean • 858.357.7863 • shalombabyncounty@lfjcc.org www.lfjcc.org/shalombaby • www.facebook.com/shalombabypjlibrarysandiego Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center, JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS, Mandell Weiss Eastgate City Park, 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla, CA 92037-1348

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ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macauley

ADVICE asksadie@aol.com

Seniority Issues Money woes from every direction.

SENIOR “SPLITTING” Dear Marnie: I am a widow, 65, dating a widower.

My dilemma is I don’t know who should pay for what? We’re both on Social Security, have pensions and some savings (he also has stocks, etc.) but I have more financial responsibilities than he does. Last month we planned a four-day trip to Vermont. He said I only needed to bring money to buy whatever I wanted. He got us the cheapest rooms. I offered to pay for an expensive dinner and he accepted. Then we ended up eating the leftovers the next night and in the morning we had bagels for breakfast in my room. I would have gladly paid for Vermont pancakes with maple syrup but I didn’t offer. I felt he should have wanted to do that. Am I expecting too much? After all, he did pay for the plane and lodgings. Is there some kind of financial etiquette for older daters?

-Unsure in San Diego MARNIE SAYS: Etiquette, shmettiquette. Even if I gave you some “fair” formula (he pays for three dinners and you pay for one decent meal where the place mats don’t include crayons), it wouldn’t solve your problem. Mamala, the real problem is: you didn’t get your Vermont pancakes with syrup.

I’m not being cheeky. What’s important is that the two of you share the same notion of “fun” and what that fun will cost. Rather than “who pays,” it seems your Big Issue is how each of you view using money. This has more to do with values and personal priorities than “who pays” for what.

Talk to the man. Honestly. Discuss how willing you are to help out on your excursions.

You’d gladly pick up a special meal, etc., but your budget’s limited to, say, three meals and show tickets each month. More, when you’re on vacation, you enjoy partaking of the special treats you’ve shlepped to see. How does he feel about it?

Offer examples. You would gladly (?) have paid out of your pocket to get a room with indoor plumbing. Would he agree that Vermont pancakes are worth more than bagels? Can you budget together fairly to enjoy what you came for?

His answers will tell you what you need to 80 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

know about him. His personality. His generosity.

His capacity for fun vs. his limitations financially, and his willingness to shell a few extra shekels to create an adventure, rather than a Facebook post.

More important, his answers will tell you whether he has the pizzazz, the panache and the playfulness worthy of an empress like you.

Because, you see, those qualities can’t be bought with megabucks, yet can be expressed with no more than a crêpe – and creativity.

PARENTS PAYING THE PRICE Dear Marnie: Our son and his wife have been married for five years. As the years passed, the “kids” kept spending on high-rent condos, jewelry, furniture, fancy cars. My wife and I just hit retirement age and have saved all our lives for our future. There have been times they asked us for a short-term loan. We’ve also given gifts of cash, and offered to give them sound financial advice. We have not always been thanked. They just announced they are house-shopping. While they make a decent income, believe me, they could never cover the cost of the homes they’re looking at. We feel we will either be asked for, or expected to offer help, and if we don’t, be made to feel guilty. (The other in-laws are never asked because “they can’t afford to help.”) We don’t want to see them in trouble, but we feel hurt that our generosity has been ignored. We’re wondering if falling on their face financially is what it is going to take to teach them better money management?

-Troubled Senior Citizen Parents MARNIE SAYS: It looks like you might be in the market to adopt a nicer child...perhaps an advice columnist with the sense to appreciate two lovely pushovers! That said…feel a hug.

So, let’s start with what’ll “NEVER WORK” – then move to “HAS A SHOT.” What will never work: 1. Good advice–from you. a) They are selfindulgent children. They don’t listen and will resent you for it.

2. The Warning. “If you buy a house like that, don’t count on us,” won’t work because: a) they won’t listen and will wildly resent you for dooming them.

What has a shot...maybe: 1.) Try something like this: You (in the basic friendly tone): “...Hmmm house…mortgage…Y’know, I recall, we always had a problem swinging it – usually fell behind on something...What’s your secret...?” (See the subtle message?)

Them: “Well...we...a...are getting a special mortgage deal from The Bank of Goniff. Only one per cent and a $5, 000 down payment.

You: Really...? On a half million house? Tell me, mamalas, just how does that [idiotic] plan work? Maybe it’s something we should try. So, what are the downsides?”

Boom. You’ve taken the wag out of the finger.

And started your exit plan.

Or try the “It’s us darlings, not you” approach.

You: “Well...frankly, now that we’re getting on...things like long-term care insurance...maybe assisted living...we want to make absolutely sure we’ve got it covered and won’t have to depend on you kids – in fact, we want to be able to leave something to you.

Them: “But we thought...”

You: “That we had unlimited resources? Don’t we wish. So, we’re meeting with a financial-estate planner who’ll be managing all of our resources from now on. [IDEA!] Hey, if you’d like to come along...get some expert advice, too...because, we should’ve done this years ago!”

Done! They’ve been warned without wagging.

You’ve tightened their view of your wallet and shifted the blame More...you’ve perhaps given them and yourselves a gift you’ve been unable to provide – financial discipline – through discussion, and a third party who doesn’t fear closing the checkbook means closing the door.

Finally, you might want to ask yourself ... why do you? A

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Tishrei • Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 81

LIVING LEGENDS + THE YOUNG LIONS

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82 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

M E D IA P A R T NE R S

A company that has amassed an astounding 18 Tony Awards, 4 Pulitzer Prizes, 6 Pulitzer finalist distinctions, 3 Emmy Awards, and 2 Academy Awards joins forces for the must-see musical event of the fall!

IN YOUR ARMS A World Premiere Dance-Musical Stephen Flaherty Vignettes by Douglas Carter Beane, Nilo Cruz, Christopher Durang, Carrie Fisher, David Henry Hwang, Rajiv Joseph, Terrence McNally, Marsha Norman, Lynn Nottage, and Alfred Uhry Lyrics by Lynn Ahrens Conceived by Christopher Gattelli and Jennifer Manocherian Direction and Choreography by Christopher Gattelli Music by

NOW PLAYING! Limited engagement through October 25 The cast of In Your Arms. Photo by Carol Rosegg

(619) 23-GLOBE (234-5623) www.TheOldGlobe.org Tishrei â&#x20AC;˘ Heshvan 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com

83

SAN DIEGO JEWISH BOOK FAIR Nov. 7 – 10, 2015 | North County Venues Nov. 10 – 16, 2015 | JCC, La Jolla OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

ISH

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FOUNDING BENEFACTORS, VITERBI FAMILY NORTH COUNTY PRESENTATIONS SPONSORED BY LEICHTAG FOUNDATION

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Oct. 20, 2015 | 7:30 p.m. | Temple Solel, Cardiff

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NAZARIAN

For kids up to age 8 Sunday, November 15, 2015 10:00 am–1:00 pm at the JCC!

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS: www.sdcjc.org/sdjbf TICKETS: JCC Box Office (858) 362-1348

SAN DIEGO CENTER FOR JEWISH CULTURE

Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center • JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS

84 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2015

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