LGBTQ San Diego County News Volume 1 issue 16

LGBTQSD.NEWS

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

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LGBTQSD.NEWS

PUBLIC SERVICE

COMMUNITY VOICES

Conversations with Nicole P5

Life Beyond Therapy P6

Big Mike & Friends P7

County Board of Supervisors News P4

City Attorney News Protecting Our Children’s Safety Online P11

ENTERTAINMENT

Benjamin Scheuer discusses the origin of ‘I Am Samantha’ with his song’s namesake P12

HOT DISH

Tuna Ceviche Easy and Delicious P14

A Note From Toni Special Senate Budget Subcommittee on COVID-19 Response P15

HEALTH

COVID-19 and San Diego’s HIV/AIDS community P8 Social Isolation: Spotting the Signs and Opening Minds of Your Senior Loved Ones P10 OPINION

Creep of the Week: Donald J. Trump P14

MOTHER’S DAY KATHIE MOEHLIG ON BEING A PROUD MAMA OF TWO AMAZING RAINBOW KIDS

READ HER AND HER CHILDRENS STORIES ON P2 (l to r) Jacq, Sam and Kathie Moehling (Photo by Big Mike Phillips)

STEVE PADILLA

REFLECTS ON HIS BATTLE WITH COVID P9

BILLY PORTER MAKING ART AND MUSIC THAT MATTERS P13

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MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

COVER STORY

LGBTQSD.NEWS

HAPPY QUARANTINED MOTHER’S DAY, RIGHT?!

I AM THE PROUD MAMA OF TWO AMAZING RAINBOW KIDS!

By Kathie Moehlig

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am began his transition more than eight years ago. Sam was not one of those young kids who said, “I am a boy, not a girl.” But after years of debilitating anxiety, depression, self-harm and wanting to die, we finally figured out that he was transgender. Parents often ask me if it was hard for me to accept this about my child (he was 11 at the time).

My answer is always, “No, it was not.” We spent so many years not knowing why he was in such pain. Discovering that he was struggling with his gender identity helped, literally, save his life. I did all my “grieving” while he was in the “deep dark place,” house bound from anxiety and suicidal. Once we had the word “transgender,” I knew it was a game changer. He has been so happy since his transition.

Sam told me, after he had top surgery at age 14, that he never saw himself living to an adult age. He could remember thinking this all the way back to age 5. Can you imagine? I was so heartbroken that he had those thoughts at such a young age. It was a shortly after his transition that he announced he was attracted to boys. Something that was evident for many years. Today he is happy, healthy, working (well, until the pandemic), attending college and looking for love.

Jacq’s (age 25) coming-out story was a little different than Sam’s. After many years of dating men exclusively, she fell in love with a girl. I was attending the annual Creating Change LGBTQ conference, and when I came home, there was a girl hanging out at our home. It didn’t take me long to see what was really going on, but it took Jacq a few days before she told me that she and Cassie were dating. I was so happy and proud to see that Jacq was herself and unconcerned about being judged for who she loves. She was so overjoyed and in love. How could I not be happy for her and this newfound identity?

Cassie lived with us for a short time, but they moved out together into their own apartment (five weeks before the stay-at-home order). It is such beautiful home that represents their love.

Little did I know how my LGBTQ kids were going to change the direction of my life.

I have always been a person of service, committed to helping others. At the age of 23, I got clean and sober, entering the Alcoholic Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous programs. I jumped into the concept of sharing my experience, strength and hope with others and was ordained at

age 28. I am blessed to be able to share my experience of strength and hope with trans youth and their families. As the founder and executive director of TransFamily Support Services, myself and my team have worked with nearly 800 families with trans loved ones all over the county. Our goal is to be sure that every trans person has at least one family member that is affirming.

As parents, we all want what is best for our children. We long for our kids to be happy and healthy. As I evolved into parenting adult children, I have had to adjust my thinking. My idea of what my kids’ lives would look like is not under my control. From the time our children are born, we run stories and narratives in our minds about who they will be when they are adults.

The “wedding,” being grandparents, where they live, and what career they choose. I will venture to say few parents have envisioned their child in a same-sex relationship or identifying with a different gender than they were assigned at birth. When we, as parents, can step back from the narrative of how it is “supposed to be” and see our children as they are in the present moment (regardless of their age), we can focus on their happiness. It is then much easier to move our narrative to affirming our LGBTQ kids.

Daily, I hear so many folks say they totally support their child or trans loved one. Yet in the same conversation, they refuse to use the name or the pronouns that the child is requesting. Support does not always equal affirming.

Moving families from support to affirming is a process.

Sometimes, after a short conversation, parents “get it” when they see the distress in their child’s eyes. Often, it takes a little more time. One of the leading gender therapists in San Diego, Darlene Tando, says, “Using your child’s correct pronouns is like giving them a gift.” Affirming our child’s (of any age) identity whether gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or nonbinary is the greatest gift of love.

San Diego is fortunate to have so many great LGBTQ resources to help families move to affirming. Books, support groups (check out PFLAG. org for family support), experienced therapists, and knowledgeable doctors — all of whom work in different ways to support LGBTQ families — are resources that can enable us to move from our preconceived opinions and ideas to being kind and loving. We do not have to understand to love.

During the nearly two

months of the stay-at-home order, so many LGBTQ youth and adults are struggling, especially folks who have nonsupportive families. The most vulnerable are youth who have not come out to their families because they know they are not safe. These youth no longer have the safe space of school to be seen and affirmed for who they are. There are LGBTQ adults whose families have deserted them. Without their usual lifestyle (work and socializing with the community), they do not have anyone to talk with, are isolated and alone. I urge everyone, especially parents who are reading this, to reach out. If you are a supportive and affirming parent of an LGBTQ youth, reach out to your kid’s friends who need support. Be the family they need right now — be a lifeline. Everyone can find ways to connect with those who need our love and support. Call, text or email.

Proactively reach out. It is in times like these that we can show our true colors — our rainbow.

TransFamily Support Services saves lives by shaping a gender affirming community. We offer family coaching, support groups for parents/caregivers as well as youth, referrals for mental health and medical professionals, as well as guidance with insurance and legal name changes. TFSS offers professional training and presentation. Please reach out today: info@ transfamilysos.org.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MOM! BEST FRIEND, LIFESAVER!

By Sam Moehlig

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y name is Sam Moehlig and my pronouns are he/him/his. I am a 19-yearold gay, transgender man.

For as long as I can possibly remember, I have always been a boy, even though I was born female. When I was 9, I fell into a severe depression. I said things a typical 9-year-old wouldn’t say — things like “I want to die” and “If I can’t be a boy, I don’t want to live at all.” I wished for years for my body to become a boy’s body.

In my mind, if I couldn’t wake up as a boy, there was no point in living at all. I started my transition when I was 11 after a long period where I had lost the desire to live. I would never have heard of the word “transgender” without my mom.

My mom spent months reading books, making calls, and speaking to people who had knowledge about being transgender. When she came to me and said, “Hey, there is this word I found, it’s ‘transgender,’ and this is what it means,” I felt something in my heart I hadn’t felt in years — that feeling was hope.

Mom covered every base possible from day one. She made my adolescent years manageable, helping guide me through the LGBTQ world. Without my mom, I wouldn’t have found the support groups I could go to so I could meet other trans youth my age. Those friends were people that I could talk to when I was having rough dysphoria days. She also helped me find adult role models in the trans community. As I began my transition, I had a firsthand look at how hard my mom had to fight our insurance to get my hormone injections covered as well as my top surgery. She was on the phone for hours upon hours each day fighting for me, trying to find affirming doctors here in San Diego that would treat a trans youth.

One of the biggest things my mom helped me find was my voice. When I was younger, I didn’t have the confidence or the personality to stand up for myself about my trans identity.

She helped me learn how to stand my ground whether it be with my friends, extended family, or even my own doctors about the importance of respecting my name and pronouns.

Having an advocate on your side is one of the best things you can have as a youth, especially one that is transitioning.

When that advocate is also your parent as well as your best friend, it makes this journey all the easier. There was nothing that was going to stop my mom from following me on my path to becoming my authentic self.

Having a supportive adult, especially a parent in a queer person’s life can be a huge help, and for some it can even be lifesaving. Your ally or parent, your biggest support system, is your lighthouse guiding you through the storm. Being a LGBTQ teenager is hard enough but navigating it on your own is excruciatingly difficult.

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COVER STORY / IN REMEMBRANCE

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

IN REMEMBRANCE

OMAR RICHARD LOWRY SEPT. 8, 1943-MAY 4, 2020

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Sam and Chewie

Jacq and Cassie

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MOM! SOMETIMES A MOTHER JUST KNOWS!

By Jacq Moehlig

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grew up with a very loving, open, and inclusive family that raised me to be nothing but accepting and loving of the LGBTQ+ community. I have always been close with my mom. Growing up, I was homeschooled (by her) all my life and always considered her to be my best friend (and still do). I have gone through some hard times with health issues and she was always my No. 1 advocate and ally.

My coming-out story is a little bit different: I always dated guys but when my brother came out, I thought about my personal sexuality. I was supportive of the LGBTQ+ community but was never a part of it my-

self. I have been open to love, however that would come, but always thought I would marry a man someday. However, Cassie came into my life and completely changed my picture of my future.

How I met her: My best friend and I were at Urban MO’s for an event and then we went down to Rich’s, not knowing it was ladies night (because we went looking for him to find a guy). He saw a friend who knew another person at the bar, both groups started talking to each other and I thought she was just going to be that random person you met at a bar. It became clear to me though, as the night went on, that she was going to be way more. I don’t drink so when we kept talking all night (and while we were both flirting with each other), I knew I was starting to feel something for her. We started talking and slowly standing closer and closer together when I thought she might kiss me. I thought to myself, “You know what?

I’m OK with that” and I kissed her first. From that moment I knew, she is my person and

the love of my life. Here we are three years later. That one night at Rich’s changed our lives forever. So yes, of course we go back on those Thursday night ladies nights and celebrate our anniversary with our favorite bartenders every year.

Telling mom: When my mom came home from her trip, I avoided her because I didn’t know what to say about Cassie. My mom and I are so close that if I have something to say, she can tell because it will be written all over my face. I finally got up the courage to go in and tell my mom that the woman who was the “friend that was always over” was more than that. I walked into her room and said, “Hey, so I’m dating someone and I’m really happy — and it’s Cassie.” Her response was, “Oh, I know!” I was speechless.

I said, “Well, then why did you make me say it!?” She replied, “because it is something you needed to say and do for yourself, but of course I knew.

I mean, it is me for goodness sake!” My mom and I are so close that, of course, she could tell that I was already falling in love with this woman. The fact that I could go in and just tell her about this new relationship and it didn’t really feel like I was “coming out” was something I will never stop being grateful for.

Now here we are three years later. We just got our first place together (we certainly didn’t do the lesbian U-Hauling) and we couldn’t be happier. My mom is a big part of that because without her support, I wouldn’t be where I am today. She always supports me, and my girlfriend as well in our relationship, by including Cassie in any family outing, events, or gatherings. My mom also tries to plan things on Cassie’s day off so she can be included and even let her live with us for a few months before we got our apartment.

To parents who aren’t supportive: I see friends and people who don’t have supportive parents and see how hard that is for them. Maybe reconsider and know that supporting and loving your child is the greatest gift you can give them.

To those who do not have a supportive family, I would say: make your own. Even with a very affirming family, we still have created our own extended family — friends who are close enough that you consider them family. We have friends that we consider our aunts and uncles.

Find your own family.

Omar Lowry passed away Monday, May 4, 2020, after a long, hard-fought battle against cancer. Omar left this earth exactly as he wanted: at home, in his own bed, surrounded by his two dogs Kody and Dinky.

He dearly loved all his dogs throughout the years and envisioned heaven as being a place with all those dogs waiting for him. He is with them now.

To see the sheer number of social media posts about Omar’s passing is a true testament to how much he meant to not only our community, but to the world in general. Omar has been described by many as a true gentleman, a kind and caring friend, a gay activist and pioneer, a mentor, and a fair and successful Hillcrest businessman. Omar was a U.S. Air Force veteran and was the First Emperor of the Imperial Court de San Diego.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to some of Omar’s favorite charities. Hillcrest’s Florence Elementary School has “Omar’s Closet” established by the Imperial Court de San Diego — they accept monetary donations, clothing, bicycles, canned goods and school supplies for kids in need. Omar was also a big supporter of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and the San Diego Humane Society.

A private flag ceremony will be held Friday, May 8, and livestreamed due to current social distancing restrictions. Omar will have a military ash burial at sea.

Once social distancing restrictions are lifted, a “Celebration of Omar’s Life” will be held in September to give true homage to this beloved man.

Photo courtesy of Rikke Photography

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MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

PUBLIC SERVICE / OPINION

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n May 5, the Board of Supervisors struck down Supervisor Nathan Fletcher’s proposal to provide County of San Diego employees with a modest hazard pay recognizing their service responding to the COVID-19 pandemic. Fletcher released the following statement in response to the vote.

“To deny public health nurses, first responders and other essential county employees, many who directly engage and treat COVID-19 patients, a modest hazard pay for serving on the frontlines of our response to the COVID-19 crisis lacks compassion. Today’s decision is disappointing and that disappointment is compounded by the fact that available federal funds could be utilized for this simple step to show respect and appreciation for county employees who are putting their lives at risk to serve our community.”

Supervisor Nathan Fletcher’s statement and proposal read as follows: Supervisor Fletcher is fighting to give additional financial support to essential workers during the COVID-19 pandemic. On Tuesday, May 5, the Board of Supervisors considered policies authored by Supervisor Fletcher to grant hazard pay to frontline county employees and make $5 million available for child-care vouchers for essential workers.

Supervisor Fletcher hosted a virtual press conference on May 4 to discuss the policy proposals. He was joined by Kim McDougal, executive director of the YMCA Childcare Resource SerNathan vice, and Elsa Gonzales, a mother Fletcher and health care interpreter for Tri-City Medical Center.

“Some professions during this global pandemic have the difficult responsibility of running toward the sound of danger, and our frontline and essential workers are those people,” said Supervisor Nathan Fletcher, co-chair of the county’s COVID-19 subcommittee. “To reward their selflessness, the hazard pay and emergency childcare voucher policies provide them with more financial support for their courage and sacrifice as they help us battle this public health crisis.”

Since March 19, about 7,500 San Diego County employees are deemed essential workers.

These employees are still coming in to work to engage with the public and interact with people who tested positive for COVID-19 or persons under investigation (PUIs) for COVID-19.

These jobs include public health nurses, probation officers, deputy sheriffs, home health care,

LGBTQSD.NEWS

(Photos by rawpixels.com)

COUNTY BOARD OF SUPERVISORS

APPROVES EMERGENCY CHILD-CARE VOUCHERS BUT STRIKES DOWN HAZARD PAY FOR ESSENTIAL COUNTY EMPLOYEES LGBTQ San Diego County News Source James Canning

LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458 PUBLISHER Terry Sidie ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619-241-5672 CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news EDITOR editor@lgbtqsd.news SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619-807-7324 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich

behavioral health care, and eligibility services staff.

Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security funds (CARES ACT) would be used for the hazard pay and would be effective retroactively from March 19 until Dec. 31, 2020, or once states’ stay-at-home orders are lifted.

Health care workers, first responders and employees of essential businesses are working daily to protect us, and many have to now pay for child care because children are not in school.

Supervisor Fletcher’s policy is to allocate $5 million of County of San Diego CARES ACT money to support “emergency child-care” vouchers for essential workers and vulnerable populations.

Under the supervisor’s policy, the county would partner with YMCA and child development associates to administer the funds. These entities have been distributing vouchers from funding that was made available from other programs. They would use the same adminis-

trative, parent eligibility criteria and program guidelines detailed in the California Department of Education Early Childhood Learning and Education Division Management Bulletin.

The Board of Supervisors did vote in support of Fletcher’s policy to allocate $5 million in County of San Diego CARES ACT funds to make emergency child-care vouchers available to essential frontline workers and families. During the meeting, an amendment was made by Supervisor Dianne Jacob to make the funds contingent on the city of San Diego also contributing $5 million from its CARES ACT funds, making a grand total of $10 million available. Supervisor Fletcher released the following statement in response to the vote: “We are relieving a burden on essential workers by providing access to child-care vouchers.

This step will help not only alleviate a financial burden but will increase access to child care and allow them to focus on performing their essential services. We are hopeful the city of San Diego will join us and contribute.”

WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Big Mike Phillips D’Anne Witkowski Jacq Moehling James Canning Kathie Moehling Mara W. Elliott Michael Kimmel Michael Lochner Mike Lowe Sam Moehling Simona Valanciute Steve Padilla Toni Atkins DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2020. All rights reserved.

OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff.

SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email.

Copyright © 2020 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

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COMMUNITY VOICES

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Conversations with Nicole

Nicole Murray Ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

Getting a COVID-19 test A few weeks ago, I wasn’t feeling that well, so I went to see my doctor and he gave me a COVID-19 test. He put a 6-inch Q-Tip up my nose that felt like it reached my brain! One of the most painful tests I have ever taken and I screamed my head off. Now I hear they are doing tests without the 6-inch Q-Tip. If you’re feeling like you have the flu, please go get tested. Thank the Lord I just had a very bad case of the flu and thank you all for your concern.

Support LGBTQ+ businesses!

Congratulations, Paris!

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Now, more than ever, it is most important that we support businesses owned by LGBTQ+ and friends/allies, especially those who have a strong record of supporting and giving back to our LGBTQ+ organizations and civil rights campaigns. You know who these businesses are who have been outstanding supporters...many for decades. I have talked to many small business owners and sad to say, many tell me they are losing their business, especially those that are specialty stores. Some of our bigger LGBTQ+ businesses/bars are still giving back to the community during this time.

Did you know that popular designer, entertainer and managing partner of insideOUT, Paris Quion (aka; Paris Sukomi Max) has sewn more than 4,000 masks and donated them to hospitals, children’s centers, HIV/AIDS agencies, etc. Last week, her outstanding service was honored and recognized with two awards: The International Betsy Ross Citation from the International Imperial Courts of U.S., Canada and Mexico and the “I Love San Diego” award by Assemblyman Todd Gloria — congratulations and so well-deserved!!

As many of you know, the Imperial Court de San Diego in March launched this emergency fund and have given out now more than $25,000 in Ralphs/Vons $50 vouchers and food supplies. This fund has helped many people, families in and outside of our LGBTQ+ community. We thank Mayor Kevin Faulconer for spotlighting our fund on one of his daily COVID-19 reports aired on San Diego news stations.

This fund was set up as an “emergency” food project and we are on our last waiting list and after it’s completed (probably by next week), we will be finished as many are and/or will be getting unemployment checks, etc. The Imperial Court’s Emergency Food

Fund was supported by you, the community. We are especially grateful for: Chris Shaw/MO’s Universe, Bill Ash, Tom Hebrank, Ryan Bedrosian/Rich’s San Diego, Councilman Chris Ward, Assemblyman Todd Gloria, Senator Toni Atkins, Emperor Jerry of San Francisco, etc.

Also, I wish to most sincerely thank Emperor Mikie Lochner, who came to me with the idea of establishing the emergency food fund, Big Mike Phillips, Emperor Robert Rodriguez and Scott Parman, the Reigning Monarchs Emperor Randy and Empress Pepper, and the board of directors of the Imperial Court de San Diego.

There are many people in our communities across North America who live alone, be they single or seniors (especially many LGBTQ seniors), so we launched our “Reach Out and Touch Someone” project encouraging and reminding people to check in on their friends regularly by phone, email, text.

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COMMUNITY VOICES

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

LGBTQSD.NEWS

THE ‘NEW NORMAL’ LIFE BEYOND THERAPY Michael Kimmel —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia.

Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

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n a pandemic, our old ideas about how life works no longer apply. We don’t know when or how this time of quarantining will end. Hell, we can’t even predict what will happen next week, so much is changing so fast.

As a psychotherapist, it’s clear to me that the coronavirus has greatly upset many people’s emotional well-being. It’s completely normal right now to feel a full range of emotions in a short period of time: you might feel really grateful and fortunate now, five minutes later you’re sad and depressed, and 15 minutes later you’re zoned out and numb.

How do we navigate all of these intense feelings (and all of the headlines) we’re currently experiencing? You can begin by going easy on yourself — and others. Focus on taking care of yourself and your loved ones, making sure that your needs for food, safety, prescription refills, and supportive community are met.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, establishing a daily routine can help you feel more “in control.” For example, you could wake up every morning at a certain time and make coffee: that would be the foundation for your morning routine. Creating some kind of “structure” for your days make them feel more predictable and safe.

In a time like this when all the days feel the same (and seem to blend together), writing down your daily routine can add to your sense of purpose and make the parts of your day feel more “real.”

Journaling about your feelings can also be a calming part of your daily routine.

Start with a couple of lines a day about how you’re feeling and see if it’s helpful.

Mindfulness and meditation (aka “M&M”) are popular buzz words right now, but, don’t be intimidated by them. They simply invite you to slow down and pay attention to what’s going on with you in the present moment.

If you feel worried or anxious, a little M&M can lower your stress. A lot of our fears and anxieties are about the future.

M&M give us the opportunity to “be here now” and notice our feelings without letting them overwhelm us.

M&M strategies can be as simple as sitting down in a chair with your feet on the floor, closing your eyes, and focusing on your breathing while you feel your body in the chair. M&M apps can be a helpful tool: you might check out Headspace or Calm.

They’re both free, easy to use, and offer short, guided meditations to get started.

Do you like to doodle? If so, you could pick up a pen (or some colored markers or pencils) and doodle a little. See where the shapes and colors take you: you might find yourself drawing something. Drawing/doodling can be a playful creative outlet. And, remember, your “creations” don’t have to be profound, just enjoy the process.

Movement — from going on a walk around the block to joining a virtual yoga class — is a good way of reducing stress.

Find a way to get your body off the sofa and moving, no matter how big or small the movements. I like to dance around the

(Photos by rawpixels.com)

house to music that moves me. Nobody’s watching and it makes me feel good (and, my body likes not being glued to my computer monitor, constantly checking the news).

As LGBTQ people, it really helps to stay connected to our community: when

“FOCUS ON TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES, MAKING SURE THAT YOUR NEEDS FOR FOOD, SAFETY, PRESCRIPTION REFILLS, AND SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITY ARE MET..”

you go for short walks or bike rides, say hello to the people you meet, and enjoy safe, physically distanced conversations. You can also support queer-owned or LGBTQ-friendly restaurants by getting delivery or takeout. There are two restaurants in my neigh-

borhood that I’m supporting by ordering takeout on a regular basis. They told me that they appreciate my support. It feels good for me and for them, and I like their food! You can be sure that big chains like McDonald’s will be around in a few months,

but smaller businesses are going to have a much harder time. Support them now so they’ll be there for you in the future. Together, we’ll all make it through this “New Normal” and come out the other side: it’s not a question of “if,” but “when”…

The Center is here for you during COVID-19, offering Emergency Services: • Emergency Referral & Help Desk • Behavioral Health Services by Zoom Health Care • Individual Program Meetings & Check-Ins via Zoom • Critical Housing Needs • HIV Testing by Appointment • Food Resources

If you need Emergency Services, please call The Center at 619.692.2077 x 211 CENTER EMERGENCY FUND Please help us continue to provide these life-changing services during COVID-19. thecentersd.org/giving The San Diego LGBT Community Center • 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 www.thecentersd.org

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COMMUNITY VOICES

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BIG MIKE AND FRIENDS Big Mike Phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-8077324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.

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ith the state the world is in these days, we are learning to appreciate more and more of the people so many have taken for granted. They are now our heroes during these horrible times, it doesn’t matter how rich or popular you may think you are. I appreciate the amazing individuals who are stepping up to help, by going to work to ensure we get food, clean up after us, pick up our trash, work in the fields, our nurses, doctors — the list goes on and on.

Many of those heroes are working at minimum wage jobs, and cannot afford to even have health insurance themselves, taking the chance of catching the coronavirus.

Thankfully, they are still helping the rest of us by supplying what we need during these scary times. A huge thank you to every one of these angels who risk their lives for ours.

I am proud and excited to introduce you to my dear friend, Ivy Rooney, who is not a stranger to working with people during a major epidemic. She has committed her life to working with HIV/AIDS in the pharmacy business since she was 18 years old. It was August of 1991: Ivy started a job at a national closed-door pharmacy in Hillcrest that offered national and local delivery to patients living with HIV/AIDS. It was there, at 18, she had the opportunity to experience and learn what has now become her life’s work. This beginning gave Ivy skills like filling, billing, typing, packing, counting, mailing and customer service.

Ivy told me that the countless hours of phone conversations with patients is where she learned the most valuable part about working in a pharmacy: compassion. She listened to these individuals that were affected by this horrible disease (HIV/AIDS) as they spoke of their lovers, lives, freedom, hope, shame, and regrets. It was then she knew and committed herself to stay until there was a cure, because these life experiences she heard all mattered.

As a Mexican-American, born in Chula Vista, California, Ivy grew up in Otay Mesa, California on a lonely street near the Otay border. Her family was one of the only families living on that street, which was surrounded by vegetable and egg farms. Her parents were raised in San Ysidro, California, and wanted to move their family to a home that had a place for the children to play outside. Because of the move, her family was now able to have dogs, chickens, pigs, goats, rabbits, a cow and a pony, which kept them busy. Ivy literally grew up outside in a T-shirt and underwear, never wore shoes and rarely combed her hair. It was a carefree time growing up in a peaceful environment. Ivy is the second oldest of five siblings. She shared responsibilities and they created many memories together as a family. One of the many things Ivy remembers most vividly during her time living there, was the people that would come and knock on their back door and ask for food and water.

Her family lived about two to three miles from the Mexico border and many families were crossing or working the fields that surrounded their home. These families were thirsty and hungry, and as kids, Ivy and her siblings were happy to make burritos, sandwiches, Tang, lemonade, water or share whatever food they had. It was a humbling experience for Ivy and her family, being able to help these families with a sense of compassion that has stayed with her to this day.

Ivy Rooney Ivy’s schooling consisted of a combination of public and private schools until the 10th grade where she landed at Chula Vista High School until she graduated in 1990. She then started her love affair working in the pharmacy business in 1991. In 1999, she met her husband and they married in 2003. They have two children together and her husband has two daughters from a previous marriage. They have raised all four children together. He works as a general contractor and built the home they live in, making it a beautiful and loving environment to raise their family. Feeling very blessed to have a family, she has worked extremely hard to provide for them all while teaching them equality and compassion as they grow up.

It was 1996 when Ivy went to work for a gentleman by the name of Steve Pattison at Fifth Avenue Pharmacy, where she became the store manager.

At the time, it was the only proudly gay-owned pharmacy in San Diego. It was there that she was fortunate to have more incredible changes in her life’s journey. Working at this new pharmacy opened doors and connections to customers that are still a part of her life today. It also taught her the value of customer service, of which Steve had high expectations, and instilled that quality in everyone who worked for him. People matter to Steve and Ivy, not just as customers but because their patrons were counting on them for their medicine and many became friends because of that bond. One of the many things Steve enforced was a strict do-over policy when something was not done correctly; always making sure his customer got what they needed. Ivy respected and admired Steve because he always pushed her to be better and never give up. While working for Steve, Ivy completed her college degree and graduated from San Diego State University in 1998, a proud achievement in her life.

Ivy continued to work for Steve for several more years, and even moved to Palm Springs to help him open and run The Community Prescription Center-Palm Springs. After two years, she came back to San Diego in 2000 to open Community Prescription CenterSan Diego. In 2009, this very alive, honest, community-based pharmacy was absorbed by a large corporation. Ivy stayed a few more years, but ultimately made the choice to leave.

She needed to be working forward, and not backwards, to really feel like she was making a positive difference to the people she had committed her life’s work to. Ivy wanted to be a part of the

community she loved and grew up in, and to be surrounded by the customers she knew counted on her.

In 2012, Ivy found her new home with Hillcrest Pharmacy. She started as the store manager, then was promoted to director of operations, vice president of sales, and now serves as CEO. Professionally, working for Hillcrest Pharmacy is what Ivy is most proud of. This was the first time she worked for a woman and found in her so much encouragement and support.

The owner of Hillcrest Pharmacy, Susan Baeza, gave Ivy what she needed to grow, which meant everything to her. Now she had the opportunity to envision and apply her knowledge and ideas from all her years of experience.

Along with Susan’s support and vision, they have since opened Hillcrest Pharmacy North and Mi Farmacia San Ysidro. Their entire staff feels a strong responsibility to the community as well as to each other.

It is now 2020 and there is still no cure for HIV, but as she promised, she’s still here and still believes there is hope for a cure. Since Ivy started working in this field, there have been so many treatments for people living with HIV/AIDS and to prevent HIV. Because of treatment, we have scientifically found that “Undetectable Equals Untransmittable,” an inspiring chance at getting to zero. Hillcrest Pharmacy was the one of the first to adopt the U=U statement in San Diego County.

As a straight ally to the LGBTQ+ community for all these years, I would frequently bump into Ivy at so many events. Hillcrest Pharmacy has, for as long as I can remember, been a huge supporter of so many organizations over the years. We are so lucky to have such support from Susan, and Ivy, for their commitment to give back. Ivy, you work for an amazing woman — she stays in the background and avoids attention but her powerful gift of giving is truly appreciated by all who benefit from her generosity.

Thank you, Susan!

Because Ivy works for such a wonderful woman, she has had the opportunity to give some of her time to support different organizations that help the HIV community. The last three years, she has been involved in organizing the San Diego Women’s HIV Conference, she has found it fulfilling and an honor to work with a committee comprised of different organizations around the county. The committee is comprised of members from Christie’s Place, UCSD Mother Child and Adolescent Program, AVRC,

Family Health Centers, CASA South Bay, County of San Diego and The LGBTQ+ Center and they collaborate year-round for a successful conference.

She is also part of the Eliminate Hep-C San Diego Committee. Ivy, as always, is looking into how she can be more involved in groups that would be interested in helping HIV, hepatitis C, and trans patients navigate the challenges of health care, especially considering a perspective of pharmacy. Hillcrest Pharmacy is dedicated to providing support for various organizations in the community. They feel they should be partners and stand alongside their customers. Ivy does her best to attend and support as many community events as possible. Commitment and reliability is essential to the way she dedicates herself to the community.

I asked Ivy, why do you support the LGBTQ+ community the way you do?

“Well, I have had the fortune of being entrenched in this community for the last 30 years,” she told me. “Mostly, I admire the honesty and commitment it takes in finding yourself when faced with adversity and the strength to be true and proud of who you are. I love the willingness to celebrate our differences and understand that we are all humans and need to love each other. It is something I teach my children to be, and I guess I find this to be true more so in the LGBTQ+ community or is it just because I never leave Hillcrest? I don’t really know, that’s really the only way I can explain it, you love who you love, plus all the stories I hear! Gurl, you know I love some stories.”

I personally love this woman, I love my big hugs and the fun we have when we do get to catch up. Our community has found a person who not only takes care of us with her job, but stands up for our rights and fights for equality for every human being. Ivy is truly an angel among us. Thank you for never going back on your promise to stay until there is a cure for HIV/AIDS. God willing that day will come in our lifetime. The good news is that Ivy is not going anywhere even if they find that cure, because we love her too much to ever let her go.

I asked Ivy for a quote to share with us: “This is not my quote, but I firmly believe that ‘Si, se puede!’ (Yes, we can!), a slogan originated by civil rights icon Dolores Huerta. I believe that if all people can join hands, we can accomplish anything.”

To contact Ivy: ivy@hillcrestpharmacy.com 619-260-1010 www.hillcrestpharmacy.com

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MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

LGBTQSD.NEWS

HEALTH

COVID-19 AND SAN DIEGO’S HIV/AIDS COMMUNITY

By Michael Lochner

D

uring this coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, what is happening in San Diego’s HIV/AIDS community to keep consumers safe? With the state of California and thus, the County of San Diego, currently on a stay-at-home order, services needed by the HIV community have taken on a different look. Patrick Loose, chief of the HIV, STD and Hepatitis Branch (HSHB) of Public Health Services for San Diego County, wished to convey the following message to the HIV community: “This is a scary time for many of you and there are many ways you can still access services without leaving your homes.”

Many services are now being handled over the phone to ensure the safety of clients, as well as the staff. When a faceto-face meeting is required, face masks are required as per the county health order.

The HIV/AIDS community can call their case managers or their medical provider for further details. Most pharmacies have made changes as well by either delivering prescriptions or mailing prescriptions to clients.

HSHB Chief Loose quickly went to the HIV Planning Group (which makes decisions regarding Ryan White HIV/AIDS Program funding) and received their approval on some changes to ensure that no one in San Diego County living with HIV/AIDS would suffer during this coronavirus crisis. Loose (“Recipient” in the following statements) recommended the following: Because of COVID-19, many contingency plans are needed to ensure continuity of services. During this unprecedented time, we are seeking ways to be most helpful and responsive to the population we serve. The Recipient anticipates increased requests for Emergency Housing Assistance and Home-

Delivered Meals as employment is scaled back and people are required to stay home and/or self-isolating.

In the most recently completed contract year (March 1, 2019 to Feb. 29, 2020), there were several service categories that were not fully spent. HSHB recommends reducing allocations in the current year to Oral Health by $50,000 and Mental Health by $62,000 and moving those savings to other service categories to support persons living with HIV who are negatively impacted by the pandemic.

The Recipient further recommends increasing Emergency Housing Assistance by $50,000. Emergency Housing Assistance includes several programs designed to increase access to stable housing for persons living with HIV, including payment of short-term hotel stays, payment of the first two months’ rent, payment to prevent eviction, and payment of a monthly subMichael sidy to reduce the cost of housing Lochner for persons who are experiencing short-term financial difficulties. For short-term hotel stays, the Recipient is also recommending that the annual cap be increased from two weeks (14 days) to six weeks (42 days) during the declared public health emergency.

The Recipient further recommends that the HIV Planning Group establish “Short-Term Partial Assistance Rental Subsidy (PARS),” which provides the benefits of PARS for up to six months, with enrollments to cease upon the end of the public health emergency declaration. The Recipient also recommends that the HIV Planning Group increase funding for Home-Delivered Meals by $62,000 to support temporary increased capacity during the public health emergency. Specifically, this service would be made available to persons living with diagnosed HIV who are ambulatory but who have particular vulnerabilities related

to COVID-19 (age, other chronic health conditions) that are best addressed by minimizing all contact with persons outside of their homes.

All recommendations were approved by the San Diego HIV Planning Group at its monthly meeting held by teleconference via Webex. All HIV Planning Group subcommittees are continuing to take place via Webex.

Loose also stated: “The No. 1 priority of the HIV, STD and Hepatitis Branch is that consumers continue to have access to a broad array of services to ensure

the success of their treatment.

This office meets weekly with all Ryan White providers to identify what’s working and where we need to focus our efforts on.”

If consumer have any questions, they can call their case managers or Patrick Loose directly at 619-293-4709 for details and requirements. During this crisis, if anyone needs to talk to a mental health counselor due to feelings of helplessness or depression, contact either a case manager or medical provider to set up an appointment for mental health treatment.

LGBTQSD.NEWS

HEALTH

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

I AM ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES

A COVID-19 SURVIVOR REFLECTS

By Steve Padilla

O

ur community has known the fear and frustration wrought by an emerging pandemic before. A lethal novel virus for which there was no therapy, vaccine or cure. A terrible social isolation painful enough in health and totally devastating when facing death. We have known the awful sense of separation from a society unconcerned because most were not personally touched by a loved one, friend or neighbor sick with a mysterious illness. The elders among us lived it, my generation witnessed it, and today the young and emerging generations know it only as history — a time when HIV/AIDS was a death sentence.

Today, in a world made much smaller by technology, we are watching in horror as a new threat many times more virulent creeps across the globe. This time, the invisible enemy strikes within all communities without regard to race, socioeconomic status or sexual orientation. This time, because the threat extends so far, the global community is making a gigantic and early effort to combat it.

The novel coronavirus has changed the world both temporarily and permanently. It dominates our news cycles, threatens the global economy and could overwhelm our health care systems. Anyone, regardless of health or age, can become suddenly and critically ill. I know — it nearly killed me.

I am a proud gay man of color and a grateful COVID-19 survivor. In the more than three weeks from diagnosis to coming home from the hospital, I rapidly went from feeling as if I had a bad flu, to struggling to breathe and being

critically ill. In intensive care, I was placed on a ventilator for 11 days and put into a medically induced coma. I lost 27 pounds and one of my lungs partially collapsed. It was the sickest I’ve ever been and the scariest ordeal of my life. But I’m one of the lucky ones because I made it.

Sadly, as we confront COVID today, we are seeing some things we have seen before. Misguided and fearful people giving in to selfish concerns and irresponsible behavior all justified because only a “minority” of people have been sick or died from the virus, a false sense of personal distance from a growing threat. I am as frustrated as anyone that I can’t dine out and that our businesses are in crisis.

Many are suffering today, not just those who are sick. But I know this is not permanent and that life and health must be the priority.

There was a time when the LGBTQ community had to stand and fight to mobilize world concern about HIV/AIDS, and to change hearts and minds about our place in society.

That movement forced great progress, as today HIV/AIDS is a chronic, not terminal, condition.

Today, my pride and my hope are that our community can be again thundering voices of reason, practitioners of compassion and examples of responsible acts and enduring love.

Steve Padilla is chairman of the California Coastal Commission, former mayor of Chula Vista and currently represents the 3rd District on the Chula Vista City Council.

Register for the event here: https://form.jotform.com/201145978234053

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HEALTH

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

LGBTQSD.NEWS

o Oasis

Photos Courtesy of San Dieg

SOCIAL ISOLATION:

SPOTTING THE SIGNS AND OPENING MINDS OF YOUR SENIOR LOVED ONES

By Simona Valanciute, San Diego Oasis

I

f you’re the caretaker of a parent or other elderly relative, it can be challenging to convince your loved one to try something new. However, what you may perceive as stubbornness could be a sign they are experiencing social isolation, which poses serious risks to their health and well-being. Social distancing, while important to containing the coronavirus, may exacerbate their loneliness by taking away normal routines and activities, as well as physical contact and hugs from family and friends. It’s now more important than ever for caretakers to identify the signs of social isolation and help loved ones find ways to stay curious and engaged with the world virtually.

Social isolation occurs when a person withdraws and becomes disconnected from friends, family and their community. Multiple studies have shown social isolation is as bad for a person’s health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and is even more harmful than obesity; it has also been linked to higher blood pressure, a lowered immune response and earlier onset of dementia.

HERE ARE JUST A FEW WAYS AN OLDER PARENT OR RELATIVE MAY SHOW NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF SOCIAL ISOLATION: • Lack of interest in staying connected to the outside world, their hobbies or social activities they once enjoyed.

• Poor personal hygiene.

• Signs of poor nutrition, such as rapid weight gain or loss, or lack of appetite.

• Significant disrepair, clutter or hoarding behavior in their home.

• Having trouble sleeping or sleeping more than usual.

• Declines in memory or information processing.

If you’re thinking these sound a lot like the signs of

depression, you’re correct: depression and social isolation often go hand-in-hand. As with depression, the solution for social isolation will differ from person to person, but staying active, socializing with others and focusing one’s mind on something else are the keys to combating both.

It can be difficult, though, to convince an older loved one to get outside their comfort zone, whether that’s embracing different ways of communicating through technology or trying new activities. There are a variety of reasons older adults may be reluctant to open their minds to new ways of doing things. Change is hard for people of any age, and seniors especially may rely on rigid ways of thinking to navigate a constantly changing world and feel good about themselves.

One healthy way to give seniors that self-esteem: help them learn a new skill, or at least experience a familiar activity in a new, virtual way. Doing so may allow them to socialize with new people and develop confidence as they improve.

HERE ARE SOME IDEAS: • Go back to school. Multiple community colleges in the San Diego area offer online classes for seniors, and many are free. Organizations like San Diego Oasis, a national nonprofit that offers lifelong learning courses for seniors, offer dozens of free or low-cost courses in topics from art history, meditation, foreign language to telehealth and more. If your loved one speaks fondly of their college days, or has previously expressed curiosity about a certain subject, sign them up for an online class.

MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK MAY 18 - 24

• Get moving in the living room. Virtual fitness classes are everywhere now. Yoga studios and gyms are offering livestreamed online classes or video workouts, but your loved one may feel that these are too “young” for them. If that’s the case, check out Silver Sneakers’ selection of home workout videos designed especially for people aged 65 and older. If you’re their primary caretaker and can still visit them at home, try a workout with them — it might get you two laughing, which is also good for your health!

• Participate in religious services online. Seniors who regularly attend some kind of religious service or spiritual group can often live longer than their non-religious peers, particularly because it provides them with a strong social network. Encourage your loved one to attend services or meetings online, if possible, and help them get comfortable with the technology to do so. If your loved one misses a support group their faith community previously provided, encourage them to check out the free support groups available through San Diego Oasis.

• Demystify technology. Many of the same colleges and nonprofit organizations offering academic or lifelong learning courses for seniors also teach practical skills workshops that help them use new technology.

San Diego Oasis offers multiple virtual lessons, taught by our engaging, smart, and funny instructors, to help seniors master video chats with Zoom, figure out their smartphone and more.

You’ve probably heard many people say, “we’re all in this together.” For caretakers of seniors, this means not just looking out for your loved ones’ physical well-being, but also watching out for the signs of social isolation.

Opening our minds to new experiences is the best way to stay mentally healthy and connected to community.

Simona Valanciute is the president and CEO of San Diego Oasis, an award-winning nonprofit organization serving people age 50 and better, who pursue healthy aging through lifelong learning, active lifestyles, and community service. Learn more at http://www.sandiegooasis.org.

LGBTQSD.NEWS

CITY ATTORNEY NEWS Mara W. Elliott —Mara W. Elliott was elected City Attorney of San Diego in 2016 after serving as the chief deputy attorney for the Office’s Public Services Section and legal adviser to the city’s Independent Audit Committee and Environment Committee. Elliott and the lawyers in her section held polluters accountable, reformed city contracting, cut administrative red tape, and strengthened the city’s living wage and non-discrimination in contracting ordinances.

A

s families across San Diego shelter in place to protect against coronavirus, children are spending more time online – for school, for entertainment, and for social interactions with their friends.

To make this possible, parents have had to ease up on previous restrictions on internet access. Yet the concerns that prompted those restrictions are no less real today. Protecting children from a pandemic should not compromise their protections against online threats.

As a mother of school-age children, I recognize the role of the internet in providing entertainment and interaction. As your city attorney, I want to protect all kids from the potential harm that can result from this unprecedented increase in online engagement.

Online predators are savvy. They understand that children are home from school and parents may be nearby, but distracted with other responsibilities. They lie about their age and identity, earn victims’ trust, and try to obtain family information and photos. They may engage in sexual conversation, or suggest meeting in person.

Predators can also be schoolmates, who use the internet to cyberbully or pursue unhealthy romantic relationships.

Navigating all of this is hard for kids as well as their parents and guardians. Here are some helpful tips for protecting your children online: 1. Educate yourself. Online communication is constantly evolving, as are the specific ways your kids use the internet to connect with others. Risks vary based on the type of usage. Parents should keep up on current technologies and know exactly how their kids are using the internet.

PUBLIC SERVICE / PUZZLE

2. Educate your children. Make sure they understand the difference between a friend and a predator.

Explain that people might fake who they are online, and stress the importance of not engaging with strangers. Advise against accepting follow or friend requests from people they don’t know and caution them not to include personal information on their profiles. Discuss relevant news stories about online predators around the dinner table.

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

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Q Puzzle

3. Establish open communication. Internet safety can’t be a one-time conversation. It is easier to protect children who feel they can tell you what’s going on without getting into trouble. Encourage open and non-judgmental communication if they encounter a stranger who makes inappropriate comments, a classmate who tries to humiliate them or a fellow student, or a boyfriend or girlfriend who is being threatening.

4. Set rules. Limit online time and platforms. Let your children know you put these rules in place because you love them and want them to be safe.

Some families find it useful to create an internet usage contract that outlines family rules. When possible, put rules in place that are consistent with those implemented by the parents of their friends and acquaintances.

5. Discuss risky behavior and unhealthy relationships. Talk about online flirting and how it can veer into uncomfortable territory. For instance, if your child is pressured to keep a relationship secret, contact should end immediately. Tell them it’s OK to stop communicating with anyone who asks questions that are too personal, uncomfortable, or sexually suggestive.

6. Talk about sexting and intimate photos. This may be awkward to discuss but warn teens to never share pictures of themselves or messages that they wouldn’t want to be permanently available on the internet and visible to their family, classmates, teachers, or future employers. Urge them to tell you immediately if anything inappropriate is requested or shared.

7. Monitor internet use and utilize parental controls. Approve the apps your child uses and know their account passwords. Keep an eye on who they interact with. Look at your child’s browsing history, deleted history, and private searches. Most computers, cell phones, smart TVs, and gaming consoles have built-in “parental controls.” Learn how to use them.

8. Report online predators. Start by taking a screenshot of the concerning messages. Report potential predators to the platform where the contact occurred, then block the offender and contact police.

Keep calm and don’t blame your child. Predators expect children to be too ashamed to tell. It’s important to be supportive.

As a working mom, I know how hard it is to juggle work and parenting, even in the best of times. Together, we can get through these trying times, and keep our children safe.

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED ACROSS 1 Aid’s partner 5 Gave a damn?

10 Where a trolley goes “Clang, clang, clang” 14 Singer Vikki 15 Pool shot hitting two balls 16 Enchanted Disney girl 17 Start of a Stephen Sondheim quote 20 City hue in Oz 21 Orton’s Halliwell 22 Sara Gilbert, for one 23 In addition 24 Closemouthed type 27 More of the quote 31 “Beat it!”

35 Loafers lack them 37 Land of S. O’Connor 38 Take forcibly 39 Family magazine 40 Rupert of _Stage Beauty_ 43 One of two NT books 44 More of the quote 46 More of the quote 48 First year in a gay decade 49 Gives the slip to 50 George of _It’s My Party_ 51 Russian assents 54 ___ Male War Bride_ 55 End of the quote 58 Rubber stamp 61 Cukor’s _ ___ and Juliet_ 62 _The Music Man_ setting 66 Indiana neighbor 67 Redirect, as eyes in the shower 68 Nureyev’s refusal 69 Appear to be 70 Parts of hard heads 71 Program with Chris Colfer

DOWN 1 Top 2 Oz creator 3 Gaelic tongue 4 Slaves row it for a master 5 Former justice Antonin 6 _Peyton Place_ producer Jerry 7 _Lord of the Rings_ extra 8 Take for a sucker 9 Doc Brown 10 Clown accessory for Cam 11 Don’t get caught in it 12 “Why should ___ you?”

13 S&M unit 18 _East of Eden_ role 19 Brian of glam rock 24 “Send in the ___” 25 _House_ star Hugh 26 Thespian activity 28 Nice zip 29 Blow it 30 Drag queen’s application 32 Bug with a shrill call 33 Atlantic archipelago 34 Weatherspoon once of the LA Sparks 36 Sink to the bottom 38 Wonder of Motown 41 “Oy” follower 42 Fill in ___ blank 45 Say “Ooh! Long!” here 47 With mouth wide open 51 Teed off, for Sheehan 52 Anouk of _Lola_ 53 Sailor’s rear 56 Stole at the Oscars, e.g.

57 Rug rats 58 Canon camera 59 Antonio’s _Evita_ role 60 Hurry, to Shakespeare 63 Duvall’s _Popeye_ role 64 Pee-___ Herman 65 Serviced orally Solutions on page 14 QSyndicate.com

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN’S SAFETY ONLINE

12

ENTERTAINMENT

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

LGBTQSD.NEWS

BENJAMIN SCHEUER

DISCUSSES THE ORIGIN OF ‘I AM SAMANTHA’ WITH HIS SONG’S NAMESAKE The singer-songwriter and his friend Samantha Williams, a transgender woman, recount how the latter’s life story became the subject of Scheuer’s debut single.

By Mike Lowe

Benjamin Scheuer and Samantha Williams (Photo by Noa Griffel)

O

n a couch inside the Manhattan offices of Atlantic Records, Benjamin Scheuer beams with cautious optimism. Already a Drama Desk Award winner for his one-man musical “The Lion,” Scheuer has seen the release of his first single for Canvasback/Atlantic Records, “I Am Samantha” (out now). Accompanying it is a groundbreaking music video, which was filmed in Atlanta by transgender director T Cooper and features a cast of 27 transgender actors.

The song would not exist were it not for Samantha Williams, a trans woman Scheuer struck up a conversation — and, subsequently, a friendship — with at a coffee shop in Manhattan’s West Village several years before.

“I don’t remember our first conversation, but it had to do with writing,” says Williams, a playwright and screenwriter, who now joins her friend on the couch.

That some might question why Scheuer, a cisgender, married heterosexual man, would take it upon himself to tell the story of a single transgender lesbian woman isn’t lost on the two of them. But they each feel that it shouldn’t stand in the way of allowing Samantha’s story to be heard.

“When someone writes a song and performs it themselves, I think there’s often an assumption that the writer and performer are one and the same,” Scheuer notes. “I like writing from different perspectives; it requires empathy and it requires ears.”

Below, Scheuer and Williams open up about how one simple conversation over coffee two summers ago blossomed into a life-changing experience for both of them.

BENJAMIN SCHEUER: I lived in the Village in New York City for 14 years. I was a regular at Joe Coffee, on the corner of Waverly Place and Gay Street.

I would go in and do a lot of my work there — writing songs, working on writing theater. I like talking to strangers, and I met a lot of folks who became dear friends.

SAMANTHA WILLIAMS: I had been working at that coffee shop since 2013.

BS: And I had been a regular since before then. I

knew Samantha before her transition. We were talking in the summer of 2018 and the song “Sean” by the Foo Fighters was playing.

SW: I happened to be working with a co-worker named Sean. So, Benjamin, Sean and I were joking around about how there’s a song about Sean, there’s a song about Maria, there are 25 songs about Mary — but there were no songs about Samantha.

BS: I said, “I can try to write a song with the name Samantha in it. Tell me about your name.”

SW: One of the first things that piqued your interest was how I had chosen my name. I said, “I did...and I didn’t.” My mother felt that she was carrying a girl, so she and my father only came up with one name when she was pregnant.

BS: I’m fascinated by stories of identity and self-actualization. The story that Samantha told me is one of the most powerful ones I had ever heard. In having the honor and responsibility to do my friend justice in telling her story in my medium, which is music and lyrics, I wanted to make sure I did everything I could to do the best job I could. I did feel a real kinship to you because you’re a storyteller and a writer.

SW: That’s an aspect of our relationship; we are fellow writers.

BS: Samantha and I went to lunch several times. I took out my iPhone, pressed record and said, “Leave nothing out.” As I was working on the song, my wife was pregnant with our first kid. I was anxious that I wasn’t going to do a good job being a dad. My kid’s a year old now and the joy of my life. And the story that Samantha told me about her relationship with herself was also very much about her relationship with her parents. So, to me, “I Am Samantha” is really a story about parents and their kids.

SW: With my parents, you have the two polaropposite examples of how one might react to someone

coming out. My mother expressed some concern for my safety, but also said, “You know what you’re doing. If this is what you need to be happy…” I went back to Cleveland, where she works at a CVS, to surprise her.

She hadn’t seen me in a while. After the initial minute of her not realizing it was me, she proudly introduced me to her co-workers as her daughter. In that same visit to her store, she texted my father: “Would you like to see your daughter?” You see the three ellipses bubbles, and after 15 minutes he comes back with, “I’d rather not.”

BS: I’d finished, or so I thought, writing the songs for a record to be released on Atlantic. So I was writing “I Am Samantha” without any sort of pressure from anyone to make anything for any commercial purpose.

I finally brought it to them like, “Hey guys, I wrote a song about a friend of mine. Just thought I’d share it with you.” They came back and said, “We think this is the best song you’ve ever written! We think it should be the first single on the record. Can we organize lunch with Samantha? We’d like to meet her.” Then they did something that really inspired my confidence — we all went to lunch at Morandi on Waverly Place, just around the corner from where Samantha and I met at Joe Coffee. They said, “Samantha, tell us your whole story.”

SW: You would think all the grownups would talk and the girl who the song was about would just sort of soak it in. But I have things to say and they all listened. They all wanted to know what I thought. That was a powerful indicator as to what they felt about the material and how they wanted to go about releasing it.

BS: For the video, a woman based in the U.K. named Katie McCullough runs a company called Festival Formula. I worked with Katie on five music videos for songs that I made, most of which were based around a theater piece I did called “The Lion.” When she was in New York, we sat down and we had a cup of coffee and I said, “I’ve got a song I wrote about a friend who is a trans lady, and we want to make a music video. We should get a trans director on the project.” She said, “I

ENTERTIANMENT

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just saw the most extraordinary documentary called ‘Man Made,’ about trans bodybuilders. Then I saw the director of the film, T Cooper, give a talk about it. He is your guy!” And, so we got in touch with T Cooper. T cast Samantha as herself and hired 26 other trans performers. As far as I understand, this is one of the first music videos to have an all-trans cast.

SW: I knew that I was going to be surrounded by more trans individuals than I ever had been. I was excited for that, but I was also just thrilled to go see Atlanta and have the whole experience. I had no idea how moving it would be to see how much everybody wanted to be there, how eager they were to get to know each other, to hear each other’s stories and to just hang.

Benjamin got his guitar out and everyone was singing along to the song. It felt like a retreat, almost.

BS: I found it deeply moving to be backstage on the set. Some of the cast members were in their late 60s and some were teenagers in high school — all of whom were out; all of whom were joyful; all of whom came together to create a piece of art about self-actualization. I met the parents of the teenagers who are in the video.

Of course, they need to have guardians if they’re under 18 and on a film set.

SW: That was one of the most moving parts for me.

It’s a song, in some ways, about parents and children.

To see these teenagers and their parents interact as if it’s the most normal thing in the world — it’s just a mother and a daughter; it’s just a mother and their son — is something I never could have imagined happening to me as a teenager. I got to take a long walk with the mother of one of these trans teens and tell her what it meant to me to see her interact with her daughter. This child gets to grow up with that affirmation and that acceptance.

BS: When I was in high school, I not only didn’t know anybody who was trans, but I didn’t know what trans was.

BILLY PORTER ‘FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH’!

Courtesy of Mighty Real Agency

SW: Same here!

BS: Basically, when we were filming, I got into Atlanta from London, I walked off a plane and into a cab, and then into a family. I was amazed by how welcoming and generous everyone was to me. I’m a cisgender, white, heterosexual guy. I would be totally understanding if there was a little bit of skepticism about, “Why is this guy, Benjamin Scheuer, part of this story? Why is this guy telling this story?”

SW: I don’t think there was even a whiff of that on the set.

BS: None of that. But can I ask you, if that question was put to you, what would you say?

SW: Well, you’re a storyteller. You’re curious. You’re open. You ask a lot of great questions. And I think that the idea you can only tell your own story is an idea that people express nowadays. But as a writer, I just find that to be a silly notion. If you’re willing to put the time and the work in to understand what you’re talking about, not only can you tell a moving story about somebody’s pain and triumph, but you can also shine a light on something that your audience might get a chance to see from your perspective.

BS: I mentioned earlier that I was writing the song when my wife was pregnant with our first child.

Samantha’s story resonated with me as one of selfacceptance and also accepting your family, as well. I knew I had to put some of my own fears into the lyric in order for it to feel raw and real and necessary for me as a writer and a performer. In doing so, I found common ground with Samantha’s story — not through the specifics of her transition, but through the elements of going through what she went through. What did I learn from hearing Samantha’s story? What have I learned about her, my friend Samantha — but also about my understanding of relationships with parents and kids?

What have I learned about myself? I think those are necessary questions to ask if one is to do the work of serious writing about a real person.

“I Am Samantha” (Canvasback/Atlantic Records) available now IAmSamantha.Net Watch “I Am Samantha” and the behind-the-scenes doc: benjaminscheuer.lnk.to/IAmSamanthaPR/youtube

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mmy, Grammy, and Tony Award-winner Billy Porter has released a soul-stirring cover of Stephen Stills’ “For What It’s Worth,” as performed by Buffalo Springfield, continuing the legacy of using his art as a means to raise consciousness.

“I decided to record ‘For What It’s Worth’ because I wanted to have my art and my music matter, make a difference,” Porter said. “I’ve always been a political person. I come from the generation where the music reflected what was going on in the world, in the day. The song was written and performed sort of during the civil rights era, the Vietnam War, it was protest music and I wanted to have a hand in bringing that back and speaking truth directly to power.”

Porter has reimagined the folk-rock classic adding a soulful spin that rocks out as much as it “grooves out.” Porter’s innovative take finds him laying down multiple vocal parts that build to an uplifting crescendo that takes the iconic tune into new territory. The song is produced by Zack Arnett for Arnett Music and executive produced by Bill Butler and Carmen Cacciatore for The Butler Music Company Inc. “I am both proud and delighted that Billy Porter is covering my song, ‘For What It’s Worth,”’ said Stills. “For many years, no one tried to ‘make it theirs’ as covers are supposed to do. That an artist of Billy’s caliber has chosen to add his flourish to my song from so many years ago is totally in keeping with what I intended.”

With the outbreak of the coronavirus, national attention has shifted from the 2020 election cycle to the worldwide pandemic, for which Porter feels “For What It’s Worth” is also well-suited.

“One of the heartening things that I’ve seen during the coronavirus outbreak is how we’ve all banded together. Everyone doing their part, checking on each other, using technology to connect with one another,” said Porter. “I think the messages in ‘For What It’s Worth’ are so relevant now. It’s a song about unifying and coming together to make a change.”

While Porter steadfastly encourages folks to stay focused on the present, with everyone doing their part to help battle COVID-19, he’s also keeping an eye on November when U.S. citizens will be voting for a new president.

“While we’re all stuck at home, now is a great

time to make sure you’re registered to vote,” he said. “The election is comin,’ y’all. Let’s get ready and stay ready.”

“I have never been asked to ‘update’ ‘For What It’s Worth’ to accommodate modern times by anyone, ever,” Stills continued. “Modern times seem to circle back and find it yet again, an appropriate reflection of uncertainty and suspicion. We always do the same thing. Any form of eccentricity, or failure to conform, or difference in race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion or political dissent results in your being cast as one of the ‘other.’ An ‘outsider.’ A term that leaves you open to being shunned, bullied, demeaned or suspect, ‘less than’ American. Billy Porter gets all of that and has done a masterful job of capturing the essence of the original Buffalo Springfield rendition, recorded the day after it was written, and made it his own.

Pure genius.”

“For What It’s Worth” is the follow-up to Porter’s most recent single, “Love Yourself,” which hit No. 1 on the Billboard Club Play Songs Chart in summer of 2019 and was timed to World Pride/ Stonewall 50. The video for “Love Yourself” was a celebrity lip-sync extravaganza featuring cameos by Porter’s “Pose” co-stars along with Cyndi Lauper, Kelly Ripa, Debra Messing, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and designer Christian Siriano, among many others.

“I hope people are inspired to not give up, to continue to have hope, and to understand that the only way change comes is for the people to come together and demand it,” Porter concluded.

Porter is an Emmy, Tony and Grammy Award-winning actor, singer, director, composer and playwright with groundbreaking performances as Pray Tell in “Pose” on FX, for which he recently received an Emmy Award, as well as Golden Globe and Critics Choice nominations, as well as Lola in “Kinky Boots” on Broadway for which he won a Tony Award for Lead Actor in a Musical. Porter has also recorded several albums and acted in many Broadway and off-Broadway productions, including “Miss Saigon,” “Grease,” “Angels in America,” and “The Merchant of Venice.” Additional television and film credits include “American Horror Story: Apocalypse,” “The Get Down,” “The Humbling” and “The Broken Hearts Club,” among others. Porter can be seen in the highly anticipated “Cinderella” re-make next year.

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MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

EASY AND DELICIOUS

TUNA CEVICHE

By Cesar A Reyes

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ot weather makes us crave something fresh and tasty. Sadly, we are not able to go out to sit in one of our favorite restaurants to order an ice-cold beverage and a nice dish to snack on and share. If you are like me, hot weather calls for ceviche! You are probably thinking ceviche is complicated and you’re not sure about cooking fish with lime juice or how to get a fresh cut of fish or fresh shrimp to make it with. But here is a recipe that takes the guessing game out and it’s simple to make with canned tuna fish. All the ingredients are items that are most likely in your pantry and the hard work (if any) is chopping the ingredients up.

INGREDIENTS:

(6 servings) 2 large cans of white tuna in water (or 4 regular sized cans) 3 firm tomatoes, chopped ½ onion, chopped 4 Italian cucumbers, roughly peeled and chopped ½ serrano pepper (if you like heat then add the full pepper or as many as you like) 1 small bundle of fresh cilantro (lower half of stems removed and chopped) The juice of 8 limes 1.5 tablespoons of sea salt 1 ripe avocado, sliced (for garnish)

PREPARATION:

Chop all your ingredients up and combine all your vegetables and half of the lime juice and mix in a big bowl.

Then add the tuna (drained with no liquid) and mix it until the big chunks break down to a smaller flaky consistency. Add the rest of the lime juice and the salt. I prefer sea salt because of the texture and its taste really enhances the flavor. Let chill in the refrigerator for 20 minutes.

When ready to serve, use tostadas and add a slice or two of avocado on the top or chips to scoop out of a nice bowl with the avocado slices on top — either way, you can’t go wrong.

FOR A VEGETARIAN SPIN

Replace the tuna with: 4 ounces of textured soy (sold at Sprouts or Pancho Villa) To cook the soy, you will need to boil it in 3 cups of water with: ¼ onion 1 garlic clove 1 bay leaf Drain and let it cool. After it’s cooled, you need to squeeze the liquid out by using a cheesecloth. After you’ve removed all the liquid, add the dry mix ingredients listed above with the same quantities.

HOT DISH

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PUBLIC SERVICE

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

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SPECIAL SENATE BUDGET SUBCOMMITTEE

ON COVID-19 RESPONSE

A NOTE FROM TONI Toni G. Atkins —Toni G. Atkins represents the 39th District in the California Senate. Follow her on Twitter @SenToniAtkins.

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his past month has seen some changes in the way we do things in the Senate, as all of us in California — and around the world — continue trying to get through this crisis together.

In April, I created the Special Senate Budget Subcommittee on COVID-19 Response to oversee how California has been funding our vital containment and response efforts. Governor Gavin Newsom has broad emergency spending authority, and when the Senate and the Assembly approved up to an additional $1 billion in emergency funding to respond to the COVID-19 pandemic, we assured Californians there would be this appropriate legislative oversight over all of this spending.

At its first hearing on April 16, the Budget Subcommittee looked at areas where the emergency funding has gone thus far, including obtaining hospital beds and equipment, child care for essential workers along with protective equipment and cleaning supplies for child care providers, lowering the risk to our communities by getting more homeless people into motel rooms, and filling gaps in the federal loan program to help small business.

The hearing made a couple things extremely clear — dealing with COVID-19 continues to be extremely fluid and fastmoving with major decisions having to be made in the moment, and the pandemic will have major repercussions on the state budget. The hearing showed there is still information we need to ensure California’s efforts are having the desired effects, and much preparation we need to do in a very

(Photos by rawpixels.com)

short time to pass a budget.

Thankfully, we are more prepared than ever to enter a downturn. But the magnitude of the shutdown of the economy will reach beyond even our historic preparation. It will take major additional federal support for local governments and states throughout this country. It is imperative that California maximizes our efforts to gain the federal support our state needs to get through this crisis in as strong of shape as possible.

This hearing was also the Senate’s first opportunity during this crisis to include remote participation as part of the proceedings. Ten thousand more people than is usual for a hear-

ing tried to watch online, and while that caused some technical glitches at the outset, we ultimately were able to successfully connect and stream the hearing. Most of the committee participated electronically, and for the senators, staff and others who took part in person, we adhered to strict social distancing protocols.

The decision to try something new with remote participation was easy, given that protecting the public health takes precedence right now.

Parents, students, and teachers all across California are already utilizing remote strategies. We know we can do the same and provide transparent, accessible, and participatory oppor-

tunities to conduct the people’s business.

In addition to the work being done by the Budget Subcommittee, I also recently created a Special Committee on Pandemic Emergency Response to look at California’s overall actions regarding the current crisis and to make findings and recommendations for steps we can take now to prepare for future pandemics.

Despite these changing times, one thing remains constant — my team and I always remain available to assist you in any way we can.

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OPINION

MAY 8 - 21, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 16

LGBTQSD.NEWS

CREEP OF THE WEEK:

DONALD J. TRUMP

By D’Anne Witkowski

Graphic by freepik.com

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urrently trending political advice: Do not chug Lysol. Do not inject bleach. Do not smoke Clorox wipes.

Also add to that list: Do not vote for Republicans. My God, what a sick and dangerous joke is this president and his party.

In some ways it makes sense, this fierce protectionism of the most unqualified person to ever hold the highest office in the land. Republicans are completely incapable of governing. After all, they don’t believe that government is capable of being competent or helpful and so they have an incentive to be terrible. And, my oh my, do they meet even the lowest, most cynical expectations. Trump is so terrible that he has people waxing nostalgic about George W. Bush and Democrats getting misty-eyed over Ronald Reagan (waving to John Kerry: knock it off). Note: when one person is more terrible than another, that doesn’t make the less terrible person not terrible.

The COVID-19 pandemic makes the difference between Republicans and Democrats nakedly clear. One party is taking advice from the country’s top medical experts about how to navigate this crisis. The other party puts a guy on TV every night who believes that windmills cause cancer and that we should try to kill coronavirus by beaming sunlight into a body — literally putting sunshine where the sun doesn’t shine. One party takes unprecedented steps to save American lives.

The other party encourages protestors in Confederate flag tube tops and “Don’t Tread on Me” banners to descend upon state governments who dare to take these steps. One party thinks that staying alive is goal No. 1. The other party thinks that life only matters when it’s inside a womb.

There are 50,000 Americans dead as I write this. Surely there will be more by the time you read it. And that’s just the deaths we’re counting. There are likely more. The number of people who are sick is no doubt being undercounted due to the completely botched response by the Trump administration to this crisis. We didn’t test. We didn’t do contact tracing. We didn’t do shit. The only thing Trump offered to fight this virus was racism against the Chinese and guess what: racism is as ineffective against COVID-19 as mainlining Purell.

As crass and narcissistic and awful as Trump is, it is astounding to me that he has yet to show any care or concern for tens of thousands of people who are dead. I mean, it’s not astounding to me that he doesn’t care, it’s astounding to me that he doesn’t have advisors saying, “You probably should

express some kind of condolences.” Actually, scrap that. I suspect he does, but he is so out of control, so completely off leash, so totally insane that he listens to no one. Not even Ivanka.

Trump’s Republican party claims to be pro-life, but when it comes to life outside of the womb, they DGAF. There are Republicans across the country making the argument that letting scores of people get an incredibly infectious virus and die is preferable to hurting the economy — that death is the lesser evil when compared to a tanking stock market. And then they want to turn around and pretend they’re holier than thou because they oppose abortion.

In Michigan, where I live, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, a Democrat known to Trump as “that woman from Michigan,” has gotten some pushback from Trump supporters for her “Stay Home, Stay Safe” order, which has just been extended until May 15. She’s had protesters in front of the capitol and even her house. People are protesting her audacity to limit their liberty in an effort to not kill thousands of people. They are taking “give me liberty or give me death” to the extreme here.

And Michigan Republicans are with the protesters on this. They have a majority in the state House and Senate and they have forced both bodies to meet in person in Lansing, most recently so that the Republicans could pass bills stripping Whitmer of some of her power — bills that Whitmer is obviously not going to sign. So the whole thing is just a political stunt. A political stunt that puts peoples’ health and lives at risk. This is even after Rep. Isaac Robinson (D-Detroit) died in March from COVID-19. Michigan’s Republican party is a ghoulish circus of nightmare clowns.

But they, of course, take their cues from their Dear Leader who tweeted “LIBERATE MICHIGAN” as protesters without masks crammed elbow to elbow toting assault rifles and boasting about allegiance to white supremacy, intentionally blocked streets in the capital, including access to a hospital.

Remember those death panels Republicans warned us about when Obama dared to give people health insurance? Well, they’re here. And the panelists are Republicans. Vote them out before they kill you.

D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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