LGBTQ San Diego County News, Volume 1, Issue 3, Nov. 8-21, 2019

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EDITORIaL

#WEWONTBEERASED Transgender Day of Remembrance Human Rights Campaign C6 Bicycle Lanes Pros & Cons results C3

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‘The Santaland Diaries’ C12

C10

Steve Padilla The mayor who came out at Pride C19

Frankly Speaking Francamente Hablando C11

THe usns

harvey Milk lgbTQ san diego County News

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mmediately after “don’t ask, don’t tell” was repealed in 2011, San Diego City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez and the oldest LGBT organization in the U.S., the International Imperial Court System (founded in 1965) launched a major letter-writing campaign to the secretary of the Navy to name a vessel after civil rights icon and Navy veteran Harvey Milk, who was stationed in San Diego in the 1950s. The usns Harvey milk continues on C2

Mama’s Kitchen By Albert H. Fulcher

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ama’s Kitchen Executive Director Alberto Cortés said as Mama’s approaches its 30th anniversary in 2020, he’s been thinking about this often. “Over the years, Mama’s Kitchen has provided over 9 million meals to San Diegans,” Cortés said. “Initially, focusing on people

Notes from Toni C14

sOUTh BaY

NEW COMMUNITY vOICEs

My Good Tootie

POLITICs POLITIC

ENTERTaINMENT INMENT

fEaTURE

7 servicemembers inducted into LGBT Veteran Wall of Honor C5

Building

30 years of impact,

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(Courtesy of Mama’s Kitchen)

with HIV, then expanding its mission to serve people with cancer, congestive heart failure and Type 2 diabetes. The goal of our program is providing medically tailored meals to people with these illnesses with the goal of actually improving their health outcome.

District Attorney News & City Attorney News C15

LGBTQ youth vulnerable to sex traffickers By Albert H. Fulcher

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an Diego County is in the top 13 list nationwide for high intensity sex trafficking. The selling and buying of human beings for sexual exploitation is the second largest criminal industry in the county, after the selling of drugs and before the selling of illegal arms. Proven through studies and research, nearly 40% of youths that are being served by any homeless youth service provider identify as LGBTQ, said San Diego County District Attorney Summer Stephan. “There is so much stigma about men in trafficking. Some are LGBTQ, some are straight, and organized crime has much more leverage against them because they don’t want to come out. So, they have them work for them and shame them into being silent” — Max Disposti

Mama’s Kitchen continues on C2

Gregory Richardson talks about his experiences with the North County LGBTQ Resource Center’s Unicorn Homes program and the “Leading with Love” gala on June 9. (Photo by Albert H. Fulcher) Sex Traffickers continues on C18

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NEWs

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Mama’s Kitchen continues from Page 1

The usns Harvey milk continues from Page 1

Harvey Milk joined the U.S. Navy shortly after graduation during the Korean War. A rendering of the USNS Harvey Milk (T-AO 206)

The 75th U.S. Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus received letters from elected officials, organizations, and citizens from states including, Kentucky, Montana, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, an more. The San Diego City Human Relations Commission was the first government agency to send a letter as well as California Senator Toni Atkins, Assembly member Todd Gloria and Mayor Kevin Faulconer — who became a major supporter of the ship campaign. After nearly six years, the letter-writing campaign of the Imperial Courts —just like their Harvey Milk U.S. postage stamp campaign — resulted with success when Mabus announced the naming of three Naval vessels: the

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USNS Robert F. Kennedy, the USNS John Lewis and the USNS Harvey Milk. Faulconer led a San Diego delegation to the official announcement by the secretary of the Navy at The Great Lawn on Treasure Island in the San Francisco Bay area, that included Atkins, Gloria, City Commissioners Nicole Murray Ramirez and Robert Gleason, veteran Bob Lehman and the late veteran Ben F. Dillingham III. There are three ceremonies when it comes to building a Naval ship: The laying of the steel, the laying of the keel, and the official dedication. Speaker of the House and San Francisco Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi is an official “sponsor” of the USNS

Harvey Milk, which will begin construction next month at the General Dynamics NASSCO Shipyard San Diego, which will include the first ceremony, “The Laying of the Steel.” “Stuart Milk, the Imperial Court System, Harvey Milk Foundation and America’s active LGBT military and veterans are looking forward to next month’s beginning of the building of the USNS Harvey Milk,” stated Murray Ramirez. “And I must commend Mayor Kevin Faulconer, Mayoral Aide Eric Young, and NASSCO officials for their outstanding outreach and co-operation with the LGBT community when it comes to this historic ship — the USNS Harvey Milk.”

This evolvement over the years has impacted tens of thousands of San Diegans that were otherwise vulnerable to nutrition, hunger and whose prognosis might have been a little worse without us.” Cortés said the volunteer core is part of what has makes Mama’s Kitchen work and its mission viable, possible, vibrant and alive. “Volunteers are involved in every aspect of our organization,” Cortés said. “From the person who answers the phone, the person who welcomes you when you walk into our pantry and the person who arrives at your door with food to deliver, in all of these cases, volunteers provide tens of thousands of volunteer hours every year. From preparation of food, staging area, distribution, participating in our fundraising events, these volunteers make these things happen in every aspect.” Cortés said its annual holiday pie sale is a perfect example of a truly collaborative effort with dozens and dozens of volunteers that are involved. It is part of the tradition and culture of Mama’s Kitchen to have community involvement and something that he is hugely grateful for. Cortés served as Mama’s Kitchen as executive director for more than 17 years. At that time, he was serving on the

Board of Directors for more than two years. Even before that, in the early 90s, when Mama’s Kitchen was a very young organization, he delivered food for Mama’s Kitchen. “I am grateful to be here because the exposure to this world, the work that we do and the people that are involved has over the years made me a better person. I am more aware of the world around me and more hopeful for humanity,” Cortés said. Mama’s Kitchen is selling pies this time of year and Cortés said they are always trying to engage people every month of the year. There are many opportunities. You can volunteer, which is a yearround need for, and people can consider making financial contributions. The overwhelming majority of funding comes from private funding. “Community support in every capacity is welcome every year, all year,” Cortés said. Pie sales for the holiday are open until Nov. 18 with pickup on Wednesday, Nov. 27, with volunteers selling Thanksgiving pies donated and baked by local caterers, restaurants and bakeries. This year’s goal is to sell more than 4,000 pies and raise $140,000 to continue its services. With an array of pies available, pies are sold for $25. For more information visit mamaspies.org.

“Volunteers are involved in every aspect of the Mama’s Kitchen organization.” — Alberto Cortés

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PROs & CONs/NEWs

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November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

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GAIL

Bicyclists should be required to find and know the bike lanes that have or will be designated for them. At this time, bicyclists use regular automobile designated streets, which I then have to drive down the middle of streets (if safe) to make sure that I am a safe distance from them.

CHARLES KAMINSKI

PROs ROs & CON CONs REsULTs

how are bicycle lanes affecting your community? MICHAEL DONOVAN

For me, this is a “chicken and egg” conversation. To meet climate action goals, we need to change the way we live in the US and remake the vision of California living. The days of open freeways and suburban sprawl are ending, and we need to move towards living, working and playing closer to where we live. When we need to go farther afield we need to look for more efficient, less polluting alternatives. In the neighborhoods where we live, we need clean, simple transportation options. This will drive the reduction in the number of cars in the city core as we move to buses, trolleys, streetcars, bikes, scooters and walking. So how do we get there, do we build public transit out completely first, or make driving cars less attractive in the city center. Based on the experiences of other cities, those who put pressure on cars first end up with better designed and used transit options. It will be inconvenient, but it is a better solution with limited money to invest. So I strongly support bike lanes, even if it makes parking directly in front of stores and home more difficult. (and my street, 4th Ave) is up next on the list.

Bikes and cars can coexist. And both drivers and cyclists need to obey traffic regulations. A dedicated bike lane is a solution. Should parking be removed to create one? Perhaps a 6-month test to see how business is impacted? Poll the businesses and find out when their biggest and slowest months are and plan accordingly. Have bicyclists register their bikes and buy insurance.

FACeBooK poll:

53% Pro 47% Con TwiTTer poll:

JPNSD

I drive a “bike lane” converted road daily. It went from 2 lanes to one in each direction… yet in the past year….I have yet to see ONE BIKE USER in the new lane. WASTE OF TIME AND RESOURCES??? OVERKILL?

33% Pro 67% Con

GAIL ANDERSON

Leave all parking spaces on 30th. Street in North Park from Adams to Juniper. There is a perfect street three blocks west on Utah, that is wider, less traffic, no businesses, no buses, can accommodate a center protected bike lane and curb parking, street sweepers and trash trucks can still operate as they do now. It will not negatively impact the environment any differently than 30th. Street and be safer for everyone. AND it’s what SANDAG approved in their Master Bike Plan update. 30th. Street was not considered as a protected bike lane route. The City needs to follow their plan, not go with a poorly planned and lack of consideration for all. The residents, businesses, property owners and visitors all prefer to be able to park close to where they want to go. There are a few bicyclists who ride 30th. for recreation, but in the Master Bike Plan, there’s a plan to reconfigure Pershing to get to downtown which will tie into Pershing Dr. and not 30th. Many, many, logical reasons 30th. St., the commercial corridor is not a good choice.

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For the first time in U.S. history, a wreath-laying ceremony took place in Washington D.C., at the Steuben Monument in Lafayette Park in honor of openly gay Revolutionary War hero Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben, also known as Baron von Steuben, on Nov. 5. Across from the White House, LGBTQ U.S. Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force and National Guard veterans from across the U.S. united with members of the International Court System for the wreath-laying ceremony, bestowing two beautiful wreaths at the foot of his statue. One red, white and blue and the other in rainbow colors. Sponsored by the International Imperial Court System and its chairman, San Diego City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez, alongside a veterans committee headed by Rudy Legg Benavides, hospital corpsman 1st Class, Fleet Marine Force, U.S. Navy (ret.), Steuben was recognized and honored by the LGBTQ community for his role in American history. Both Ramirez and Benavides spoke at the event with Vietnam veteran Byron Terry Sidie leading the Pledge of Allegiance. Steuben, a Prussian military man hired by George Washington to whip the Continental Army into shape during the darkest days of the Revolutionary War, is known for the bravery, discipline and grit he brought to the American troops. Steuben served as on openly gay man and is known

history made in honoring openly gay Revolutionary War hero international imperial Court System and lgBTQ veterans honor Baron von Steuben By Albert H. Fulcher in U.S. history for his keen military mind and charismatic leadership, not his sexual orientation and gay relationships on and off the battlefield. Washington granted him citizenship and land. Benavides reminded all at the ceremony that the “don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT) policy went into effect in December of 1993. DADT was controversial from the time it was implemented. It became increasingly a matter of public debate after 2004. On Dec. 15, 2010, a bill to repeal DADT passed the House with a vote of 250-175. Three days lat-

er, it passed the Senate 63-31, and on Dec. 22, 2010, President Barack Obama signed the new bill into law. Benavides met his husband (an Army veteran) in late 2000. He said from the moment they met, they were pretty much inseparable. They followed the path of a normal couple. “We dated for a while. We moved in together,” Benavides said. “We got a dog, we bought a car. Then I proposed. We had a beautiful commitment ceremony in 2003. Marriage wasn’t a thing yet. I [we] had a very good life. Except one thing. I couldn’t

share that. I had to hide him. I had to hide my personal life. For 10 years. The military couldn’t know about him and us. Sometimes we must look back to realize how far we’ve come.” Benavides said the day was to honor Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben, a man who whipped the Continental Army into shape. Steuben didn’t speak English, but he drafted a drill manual in French and then had Alexander Hamilton and Nathanael Green to translate. They were two of the Baron’s aides. Steuben began with a “model company” of 100

EQUALITY BUSINESS ALLIANCE Yes! Protected bike lanes help protect people from serious injury and life altering injuries. Just ask look at our own E.D.’s injuries!

DAIDYCAT

I think they’re great. Helps protect bikers.

[Editor’s note: Poll comments are taken from public comments made on the LGBTQ San Diego County News website, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts.]

men and trained them. Once these men were trained, they in turn would work outward into each brigade. “His instructions and methods have a familiar ring,” Benavides said. “Consider that much of what is done today stems from his teachings. Von Steuben introduced a system of progressive training.” Steuben would often swear and yell at the soldiers up and down in German and French, Benavides said. And when that was no longer successfully intimidating, he would recruit an aide to curse at them in English, for him. “Gay men have always been part of the American military,” Benavides said. “In a time before gay marriage or open Pride. Military men fell in love, formed passionate friendships and had same-sex encounters. Due to social and official discrimination, though, most of their stories have gone untold. But in the case of one of the military’s founding heroes, homosexuality was always part of the story.” Ramirez acknowledged the important assistance of Congresswoman Susan Davis and her staff, who worked with officials of the U.S. National Parks Services, which granted a permit for the ceremony. “The International Imperial Courts Council, founded by WWII veteran Jose Julio Sarria, plans to hold this ceremony every year,” Ramirez said. Members of the International Imperial Court System and LGBTQ veterans from across the U.S. bestowing a red, white and blue and a rainbowcolored wreath a wreath laying ceremony at the statue of Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben on Nov. 5.. (Photo by Nicole Murray Ramirez)

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COURT NEWs

November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

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A jury deadlocks in

Murder of gay man by neal Putnam

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mistrial was declared Oct. 31 after a jury deadlocked 9-3 for conviction in the 2000 murder of a 71-year-old gay man who was killed during a robbery in North Park. A re-trial is possible. Jurors eventually gave up trying to reach a verdict after roughly 18 hours of deliberations over four days in the trial of Edward Jamar Brooks, now 39, who is charged with killing LeRay “Mac” Parkins, who sang in the choir of the Metropolitan Community Church. The main problem was that some jurors did not believe the testimony of Lester Bell, now 39, and Terrence Brown, now 38, who said it was Brooks who struck Parkins in the head with a baseball bat on Aug. 23, 2000 in an alley at 8:30 a.m. behind 3675 Pershing Ave. in North Park. The eight-man, four-woman jury re-heard the testimony of a crime lab specialist who said Brooks’ DNA was found in 2018 in three places of one pocket of the pants of Parkins. The pants were preserved, and no DNA was traced to Bell or Brown. Jurors asked for a definition of reckless indifference of human life, and San Diego Superior Court Judge Runston Maino asked them if further arguments would help. They said yes, and attorneys gave a second round of closing arguments on the fourth day of deliberations — a very rare procedure. Three hours later however, the jurors gave up and said they took three ballots on both first and second-degree murder and could not reach a verdict. “It was too much information and not enough reliable evidence,” said the jury foreman afterwards. “At one point, we were 10-2,” with the foreman saying it later moved back to 9-3 in favor of conviction of first-degree murder. “There was no way to pin down who [did it].” One juror told the prosecutor afterwards that Bell’s testimony was “worthless.” Several jurors said the stories of Bell and Brown did not match and “they contradicted each other.” They both testified in jail clothes. Several jurors said a female juror steadfastly believed Brooks, who testified that it was Brown who killed Parkins. Brooks claimed that after the robbery, Parkins was only shoved to the ground, but it was Brown who went back and then struck Parkins with the bat. “We’re talking 19 years ago,” said one juror about the accounts of witnesses. Six jurors stayed in the hallway to talk with attorneys and investigators, but the other six left immediately. “They didn’t know what to believe,” said Brooks’ attorney, Robert Ford, to Maino afterwards about the jury. “We did our best. I don’t think our best is good enough.” “I’m disappointed. I thought our jurors worked hard,” said Deputy District Attorney Christina Arrollado afterwards.

The prosecutor will announce later whether Brooks will face a second trial. He remains in jail. Arrollado asked jurors to convict Brooks of first-degree murder with the special circumstance of murder during a robbery. If convicted of those charges, he would face a term of life in prison without the possibility of parole. Ford asked jurors to acquit Brooks outright and referred to Bell and Brown as “the actual murderers.” Ford conceded that Brooks took the wallet since his DNA was left in the victim’s pants pocket. But he said the DNA didn’t show who swung the bat. Several bats were examined, but no DNA was found on them. Maino suggested the possibility of a plea agreement with Brooks, and Ford said his “standing offer” is for a guilty plea to robbery with the dismissal of a murder charge. That is the same plea agreement that Brown has, and he faces a maximum sentence of five years in prison. Bell testified he was with Brooks, who held a bat in the alley for “intimidation” in the robbery. “I was kinda shocked when he hit him,” said Bell. The jury was aware of the plea agreements with Bell and Brown. Bell pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter and faces up to 11 years in prison. They will be sentenced Nov. 15. Brown sparred with Ford during his testimony, telling him “your client committed a crime.” “He [Brooks] wants to be a coward and not man up and admit [what he did],” said Brown. “I never hit Mr. Parkins. I don’t know what Mr. Parkins looks like. Your client knows what Mr. Parkins looks like.” Also testifying was San Diego Police Detective Jovanna Derrough, who said she interviewed Brooks in North Carolina after his 2018 arrest. She asked him if he recalled a murder in North Park, and Brooks replied, “Oh, the bat” without her mentioning the bat was a weapon. Derrough said Brooks described Parkins as “the old white dude” and that it happened “down an alley in North Park.” Anthony Johnson, a former police officer and now district attorney investigator, testified he requested additional DNA testing on Parkins’ pants’ pocket in 2018. Several people from MCC, Parkins’ church, said they were disappointed to learn about the jury deadlock. “Mac had the most beautiful Irish tenor voice,” said Senior Pastor Dan Koeshall, who was music director in 2000. “It’s so sad when the most vulnerable of us are senselessly brutalized,” said Koeshall. “May we be ever vigilant in looking out for each other.”

Image from rawpixel.com

fEaTURE

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November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

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(Courtesy photos)

WallaCe bruCe SHANK, Jr.

Wallace Bruce Shank, Jr. served in the U.S. Air Force from 1997 to 2001, receiving an honorable discharge in 2009 after combined service in both active and inactive reserve. During his years of service, Shank received an Air Force Achievement Medal, Armed Forces Service Medal, Air Force Good Conduct Medal, Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal, and a NATO Medal. His various contributions led directly to his unit receiving the Air Force Outstanding Unit Award. Shank moved to San Diego in 2006 to pursue his career in civil aviation. This is where he first met and pursued his calling with The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Fully professed as Sister Gaia Love, he knew that San Diego was home. Sister Gaia served as the board chair of The San Diego Sisters, among other responsibilities with the order of the 21st century queer nuns. While in San Diego he supported various LGBT organizations, including Family Health Center of San Diego, AIDS Walk, North County Pride, North County LGBTQ Resource Center, and many more. Since he considers Balboa Park — where he first met the Sisters — his “Holy Land,” some of his volunteer work also centered on the famous park. In 2014, Sister Gaia Love appeared at the rededication of the California Tower, and sponsored a step leading up the Tower “In honor of the steps of our LGBTQ ancestors.” Workforce realignments led to the closure of his San Diego office in 2015 and he has since relocated to San Francisco, where he currently lives. Sister Gaia is now treasurer and vice-chair of the national board of directors for The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Inc. He is also president of the Pink Triangle Park + Memorial – America’s first historical landmark and memorial to persecuted homosexuals of the Nazi Reich. Sister Gaia looks forward to returning home to live in San Diego as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

gary Wayne rees

7 servicemembers inducted into lGBT Veteran wall of Honor lGBTQ San Diego County News

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onoring servicemembers in our community at a ceremony at the San Diego LGBT Community Center, seven veterans were inducted to the Benjamin F. Dillingham, III & Bridget Wilson LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor on Nov. 7. This year’s inductees are Eugene Burkard, U.S. Air Force, Lee Lozano-Osier, U.S. Navy, Jackson Redmon, U.S. Army, Gary Wayne Rees, U.S. Navy (deceased), Wallace Bruce Shank, Jr., U.S. Air Force, Ruby Sola, U.S. Navy and Frank Stiriti, U.S. Navy. Welcoming the crowd was Caroline “Cara” Dessert, CEO, San Diego LGBT Community Center and honored guest speakers included Senate President Pro Tempore Toni G. Atkins, Congresswoman Susan Davis, (Leadership in Equality Awardee), Bridget Wilson, San Diego Commissioner and founder of the LBGT Veterans Wall of Honor Nicole Murray Ramirez and Morgan M. Hurley, ITC, U.S. Navy, U.S. Naval Reserve (ret), and Advisory Council chair. Special presentations were given to Veronica Zerrer, major, U.S. Army (ret.) and Tristan Sotomayor, second class petty officer, U.S. Navy veteran. The Wall, believed to be the first of its kind to honor LGBT veterans, was unveiled at The Center Nov. 10, 2011, following the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Repeal Act of 2010. The idea for the Wall was conceived by City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez, and created with the generous support of veterans Benjamin F. Dillingham, III and Bridget Wilson.

FrANK STiriTi

Frank Stiriti was born on Aug. 4, 1944, in Massachusetts. He later graduated from Northern University in Boston. Frank spent six years in the Naval Reserve from high school through college and then two years of active duty in Guam and Vietnam. He was discharged from active duty in San Diego in September of 1969 as Yeoman Second Class (YN2/E5), with over eight years total military service. Frank has lived in San Diego ever since he left the Navy. In 1974, Frank, along with two partners, opened Vulcan Steam and Sauna Baths — a gay, 24/7, cash-only business — located at 805 West Cedar Street. Frank remained owner

until it closed on April 18, 2013, after 39 years of catering to the male gay community. This gay bath house was one of the few in the United States that did not close with advent of the AIDS epidemic. Frank says that with the help of Jess Jessop – who had been a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy – they quickly produced brochures providing information on what was known of AIDS and advocating for safe sex. The Vulcan also provided free condoms. He was also one of the original founders of the Greater San Diego Business Association, a board member of the Little Italy Business Association, and has been a generous supporter of many LGBT organizations throughout all

these years. In 2008, Frank was recognized for his community involvement and service by being selected for the Community Wall of Honor, located at the San Diego LGBT Community Center. Frank and his partner, David Hardin, have been together for 43 years. The couple married in 2010 and live in Point Loma.

The San Diego LGBT Community Center exists because of the grassroots work of Lieutenant Junior Grade (LTJG) Gary Wayne Rees. Gary was born in April 1974. He graduated from Ohio State University in 1969 and moved to San Diego in 1971, where he entered active duty in the U.S. Navy Reserves, serving from 1971 to 1974. He received the National Defense Service Medal. While still in the Navy, LTJG Rees became a member of a small group called the “Planning Committee,” which in 1972 became The Center for Social Service, Inc; that group became the San Diego Gay and Lesbian Center in 1973. He also helped establish the Military Counseling Program at The Center. It would appear he received a General Discharge from the Navy as a result of his activities in the San Diego gay community. Upon his release from the Navy, he became the executive director of The Center until 1975. Gary was also a former chair and director of the San Diego Walks for Life, the precursor to AIDS Walk San Diego. He helped found the AIDS Assistance Fund, the Lesbian and Gay Archives, and was a prominent businessman with three businesses in Golden Hill. He died in August 1990 of AIDS in his San Diego home at the age of 43. In 2004, Gary was posthumously selected as one of the first inductees for The Center’s Community Wall of Honor. Mr. Rees’ personal experience of being deeply closeted and not wanting to take the risk of causing emotional causalities, caused him to assert that LGBT people are denied positive role models and led him to the realization to “seek a life in which he lived openly; creating happiness, rather than misery and frustration.” The work Gary Rees started, nearly 50 years ago, helped create a haven for the San Diego LGBT community. veteran Wall of Honor continues on Page 17

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November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

EDITORIaL

NOv 20

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Graphic by rawpixel.com

TRANSgENDER DAy Of REmEmBRANcE

LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 PUBLISHER Terry Sidie ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619-241-5672 CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes cesarartreyes@gmail.com

Vigil mARch iN hillcREST The annual Transgender Day of Remembrance is a solemn day to honor and remember the lives of people who have died as a result of transphobia and hate. Join us at 6 p.m., as we remember those we lost due to anti-transgender hate and violence. Together we will mourn, honor and celebrate their authentic lives. All are welcome. After the march, there will be a program held at the San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre St.

T.E.A. AWARDS DRAg & ART ShOW Join the Gossip Grill on Transgender Day of Remembrance for its inaugural T.E.A. Awards and Trans After-Party. Meet up to celebrate and honor the transgender and nonbinary community. On this night, we will remember and celebrate who we are, and support others by donating our door sales, and silent auction to the nonprofit Trans Family Support Services and North County LGBTQ Resource Center. Free: donations accepted at door. 7 p.m.-midnight. 1220 University Ave. bit.ly/34k6LSS NORTh cOuNTy TRANS DAy Of REmEmBRANcE More than 25 trans women of color have been killed this year alone in the U.S. due to hate and violence. This is a memorial for all trans people that we have lost this past year to transphobic violence. Everyone is welcome. Allies are welcome. Food will be served before the ceremony. Starts at 7 p.m. sharp. Hosted by the North County LGBTQ Resource Center and held at the City of Oceanside Public Library, 330 N. Coast Highway, Oceanside. Free. bit.ly/34vnnal PAlm SPRiNgS Vigil 3 p.m.-8 p.m. Resource Fair at 5 p.m., followed by a vigil. A free event presented by Transgender Community Coalition. Visit TransCC.org for more information. Singer, songwriter, actor and activist Ryan Cassata will be the guest speaker. He appeared on “Larry King Live” and “The Tyra Banks Show.” He will speak on his journey to be accepted by family and loved ones, and the need to support transgender equality. Palm Spring City Hall, 3200 E. Tahquitz Canyon Way, Palm Springs. bit.ly/36rYr5v

# W E W ONT B E E RasED Transgender Day of Remembrance human Rights Campaign

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ransgender Day of Remembrance is held every November to honor Rita Hester whose murder on Nov. 28, 1998 launched the “Remembering Our Dead” web project. In 2018, at least 26 deaths of transgender or gender non-conforming people in the U.S. due to fatal violence, the majority of whom were Black transgender women. These victims were killed by acquaintances, partners and strangers, some of whom have been arrested and charged, while others have yet to be identified. Some cases involve clear anti-transgender bias. In others, the victim’s transgender status may have put them at risk in other ways, such as forcing them into unemployment, poverty, homelessness and/or survival sex work. 2019 has already seen at least 22 transgender or gender non-conforming people fatally shot or killed by other violent means. We say at least because too often these stories go unreported — or misreported.

Tydi Dansbury, 37– a Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Baltimore on Nov, 26, 2018. Few details are known about the circumstances of her death. Baltimore Police Department is urging anyone with information to come forward. Keanna Mattel, 35– a Black transgender woman fatally shot in Detroit on Dec. 7, 2018. In 2015, Mattel, who also went by the name Kelly Stough, spoke against anti-trans violence epidemic, noting that “police are unaware with our struggle, so they have no sympathy for us.” Dana Martin, 31 – a Black transgender woman fatally shot in Montgomery, Alabama, on Jan. 6. Reports stated that she was found in a roadside ditch in her vehicle and pronounced dead at the scene. Jazzaline Ware – a Black transgender woman found dead in her Memphis apartment in March. Her death is being investigated as a homicide, according to The Advocate. Ashanti Carmon, 27 – a Black transgender woman fatally shot in Prince George’s County, Maryland, on March 30. Claire Legato, 21 – a Black transgender woman fatally shot in Cleveland on April 15. Local media reports that Legato was shot in the head after an argument broke out between her mother and the suspect. Muhlaysia Booker, 23 – a Black transgender woman fatally shot in Dallas on May 18. Local media reported that Booker was found dead, lying face down with a gunshot wound near a golf course in east Dallas. In April, Booker was viciously attacked in what Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings described as “mob violence.” Officers say that there is no indication as of May 20, 2019, that the April attack is linked to Booker’s killing.

Michelle ‘Tamika’ Washington, 40 – a Black transgender woman fatally shot in Philadelphia on May 19. Police responded to reports of shots fired in North Philadelphia’s Franklinville neighborhood, according to the Philadelphia Gay News. Washington, who was also known by the name Tameka, was found with several gunshot wounds and transported to Temple University Hospital, where she was pronounced dead. She is remembered by friends and loved ones as a beloved sister and “gay mother.” Paris Cameron, 20 – a Black transgender woman, was among three people killed in a horrific anti-LGBTQ shooting in a home in Detroit on May 25, according to local reports. Alunte Davis, 21, and Timothy Blancher, 20, two gay men, were found dead at the scene and Cameron was taken to the hospital, where she died from her injuries. Chynal Lindsey, 26 – a Black transgender woman found dead in White Rock Lake, Dallas, with signs of “homicidal violence” on June 1, according to police. The Dallas Police Department has reached out to federal law enforcement to aid in the investigation. As of June 4, no further details were are available Chanel Scurlock, 23 – a Black transgender woman found fatally shot in Lumberton, North Carolina, on June 6. Few details are yet public about the crime, but police told a local news outlet they have “great leads” in their investigation. Zoe Spears, 23 – a Black transgender woman, was found lying in the street with signs of trauma near Eastern Avenue in Fairmount Heights, Maryland, and later pronounced dead on June 13, according to local reports.

Brooklyn Lindsey, 32 – a Black transgender woman, was found dead on the front porch of an abandoned home in Kansas City, Missouri, on June 25, according to local news reports. Denali Berries Stuckey, 29 – a Black transgender woman found fatally shot in North Charleston, South Carolina, on July 20. Tracy Single, 22 – a Black transgender woman killed in Houston on July 30. Bubba Walker, 55 – a Black transgender woman, was killed in Charlotte, North Carolina, in late July. Walker was reported missing on July 26. Kiki Fantroy, 21 – a Black transgender woman fatally shot in Miami on July 31. Jordan Cofer, 22, – among the nine victims killed in a mass shooting in Dayton, Ohio, on August 4. Pebbles LaDime “Dime” Doe, 24 – a Black transgender woman killed in Allendale County, South Carolina, on August 4. She was found dead in a car parked in a driveway, according to reports. Bailey Reeves, 17 – a Black transgender teen, was fatally shot in Baltimore, Maryland, on September 2. As of September 6, little is known about the circumstances surrounding her death. Bee Love Slater, 23 –brutally murdered in Clewiston, Florida, on September 4. Jamagio Jamar Berryman, – a Black gender non-conforming person, was killed in Kansas City, Kansas, on September 13. Itali Marlowe, 29 – a Black transgender woman was shot multiple times and found by police in the driveway of a local home in Houston on September 20. She was transported to a nearby hospital where she was pronounced dead, as reported by Monica Roberts of TransGriot. Brianna “BB” Hill, 30 –fatally shot in Kansas City on October 14. She was pronounced dead when officers arrived on the scene. Kansas City Police Capt. Tim Hernandez told local press that the alleged shooter remained at the scene until they arrived. HRC is deeply concerned about the deaths of Johana ‘Joa’ Medina and Layleen Polanco, whose stories we are following closely. Medina, 25, died at a hospital in El Paso, Texas just hours after being released from ICE custody. She suffered severe health complications that went untreated while she was in detention, according to Diversidad Sin Fronteras. Her exact cause of death is not yet known. Polanco was found dead in a cell at Riker’s Island on June 7.

[Data from Human Rights Campaign at hrc.org]

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Albert H. Fulcher albert@sdcnn.com 619-315-8194 SALES Mike Rosensteel mike@sdcnn.com 619-865-2220 STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619-807-7324 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA LGBTQSDNEWS@gmail.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Toni G. Atkins Human Rights Campaign Mara W. Elliott Franko Guillen Michael Kimmel Neal Putman San Diego LGBT Community Center Summer Stephan Tootie DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2019. All rights reserved.

OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to albert@sdcnn.com and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff. SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to albert@sdcnn.com. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email. Copyright © 2019 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

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Conversations with Nicole It’s about Elton John’s New Book!

Nicole Murray Ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

Will We Ever forgive Kevin Beiser?

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es, San Diego Unified School District School Board Trustee Kevin Beiser crossed the line as an elected public official holding very questionable “Hot Tub Parties,” and yes, having sex with some of his campaign staff. Recently, he settled his legal cases and is trying to move on, even though every LGBT elected official has called for Beiser to resign from the board. The truth is, many of us know one of his accusers who is now running for Congress. During his five years associated with Beiser. he told people he was “gay, bi, and then straight,” and yes, many of us believe he is very questionable. That being said, Kevin Beiser was totally in the wrong in this situation, even with the questionable case. So now, Kevin Beiser and yes his husband Dan, have been living in “Siberia” and have in many ways been casted out like lepers from our community. I believe Kevin does owe our city and the LGBT community a sincere apology and should step down from the Schoolboard. Then I hope we could think about forgiving him. What do you think?

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fleet Week san Diego San Diego has always been rightfully proud of all our active military personnel and veterans. This week is not only “Fleet Week,” but also our annual San Diego Veterans Day Parade! This week the LGBT community honored our veterans at the annual Benjamin F. Dillingham, III and Bridgette Wilson LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor at our San Diego LGBT Community Center. Also, in Washington, D.C. our community for the first time officially honored gay Revolutionary War hero Baron Friedrich von Steuben and next month at NASSCO will begin the building of the USNS Harvey Milk in San Diego! Thank you to all of our active military and veterans for your service to our great Country!!!

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Democratic Party Endorses stephen Whitburn The San Diego County Democratic Party, in a vast majority vote, endorsed Stephen Whitburn for the 3rd District City Council seat. His three opponents have been trying together to stop Whitburn from his capturing the endorsements of Almost every Democratic Club in San Diego as Stephen’s front runner status continues to grow bigger and bigger. I believe one of his opponents should drop out and if candidate Chris Olson continues to gleefully accept lots of conservative Republican cash, he should run as a Republican.

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#1 fifth avenue — a historic landmark?

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Now long ago the LGBT community was officially made, as the African American community, Latino, Asian communities with rights to have historic landmarks. Soon many of us will be campaigning to make the patio of the popular #1 Fifth Avenue a San Diego Historic Landmark. It was there that our community came together to establish the San Diego County AIDS Assistance Fund. I and the Imperial Court had called for a meeting of community activists to establish a non-profit organization to help our growing gay brothers with food, shelter, clothing, etc. and yes, even burials! The only other organization, the San Diego AIDS Project focused on the important issue of education. I talked to attorneys Tom Homann and George Haverstick to become our treasurers and John Ciaccio, Clint Johnson, and Susan Jester join me as we established this much needed AIDS service organization. I am proud that the first three years of the AIDS Assistance Fund, 100% of all money raised went directly to client support. Our first hired Executive Director was Terry Cunningham, and Mr. Greg and Alma Vasic of then F Street Bookstores gave almost $300,00 during the first years of the Fund in the early 1980’s.

Believe it or not, I actually met Elton John in the 1970’s. After one of his San Diego concerts at the Sports Arena, he stopped by a then 18 years and over club Jerry’s Hole. I was sitting outside in the open patio, which featured a big fire pit, when a big lone stretch limo pulled up and out pops Elton John. He stayed only a while before leaving with two young handsome men and as he passed me by, he asked if I was a drag queen. And when I said yes, he said, “You look very real.” I responded in my most feminine voice, “Thank you, you’re a sweetheart,” and his limo left into the night. I got an advance copy of his memoir, “Me: Elton John Official Autobiography,” which the now 72-yearold rock star tells all about his colorful and crazy life, including his drug addiction and how Tina Turner “READ” him so bad that he cried. Yes Elton dished the dirt on Michael Jackson saying he was Jackson, always like a little boy and could not handle adults. He claimed that Liza Minnelli, who married gay men in her life, also asked Elton to marry her! Elton tells of stories about parting with John Lennon and others with piles of coke. What is so great about this book is it does not hold anything back and tells everything about his closeted and out gay life and his dedication to helping people living With AIDS. Photo by Raph_PH

44th annual Nicky awards on Dec. 8 These community awards are always sold out, so get your tickets today as this year’s event is looking like another exciting fun night. Nomination Night is coming up on Nov. 12 at FLICKS when all the official 2019 nominees will be revealed with their categories. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. Courtesy Starts at 7 p.m. Picture Cover $7. Voting begins Nov. 14 at 12:00 a.m. Voting Ends Nov. 29 at midnight. Nicky Award Tickets are VIP - $85 and General Admission - $65. For more than four decades, the Nicky Awards have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for countless causes and organizations. For Information please contact Richard Poole at 619-288-1183 or Michael Lochner at 619-972-6369.

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November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

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Dealing with your anxiety

LIfE BEYOND ThERaPY Michael Kimmel —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

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t’s pretty easy to feel anxious these days, especially with climate change, attacks on LGBTQ rights and a government led by someone as mentally unstable as Donald Trump. After suffering from panic attacks myself and helping my clients with anxiety, worry, fears and phobias, here are some practical tools that you can add to your emotional health toolkit. WHaT exaCTly is anxieTy? Anxiety is a fear of the future and an anticipation of some kind of danger. We all have a bit of this hard-wired worry. It’s one of the reasons we humans have managed to survive the dinosaurs, decades of homophobia and persecution, AIDS and way too many lousy presidents/ governments. Full-blown clinical anxiety happens when our common fears get amplified — as if someone jacked up the volume — and they’re no longer based in reality. If you just ignore your anxiety, it may eventually go away. But, for many of us, our anxiety keeps us from doing things we want/need to do. Unaddressed, it makes our world smaller and scarier. looK For pHySiCAl SiGNS oF ANxieTy You may notice a rapid heartbeat, your skin may feel clammy because your heart is racing, or you may become angry or tearful. Anxiety is about anticipating a negative, fearful future, so there are a lot of fearful thoughts spinning in your head,

Anxiety is a fear of the future and an anticipation of some kind of danger. — Michael Kimmel

which are hard to get rid of. What can you do? HelP yourself relax Start by calming yourself down and getting more oxygen to your brain (we often breathe shallowly when we’re afraid). At a time like this, logic isn’t very helpful. Your body is on autopilot and doesn’t want to let your wisdom speak up. Taking a few deep breaths is a simple way to calm down. Or you might find going for a walk works well for you, listening to certain music, playing with your pet, or talking with your best friend. Have a repertoire of ways to help yourself relax. Write them down. Use them when you need them. Now that you’ve managed to calm your body down a bit, it’s time to ... validaTe your fears Don’t punish yourself for being anxious — that’ll just make it worse. Instead, validate your worries, no matter how irrational they may seem. It’s time to talk to your inner child. “Who is that?” you may wonder. It’s the historical “you” that is usually feeling the fear. The next time you feel anxious or afraid, close your eyes and ask yourself, “How old do I feel right now?” If you feel 5 years old, then that’s the current

age of your fearful inner child. Talk to this 5-year-old as you would to a real child. You could say something like: “I know you’re afraid and that these are scary feelings. Tell me what you’re afraid of.” And listen. Really listen. Let your inner 5-yearold child know that you respect their fear and you’ll be there to help them through it. Perhaps as a kid there was no one to comfort you. Well, that’s not true anymore: your scared little kid now has big, strong, smart adult you on their side. They will never be so alone and powerless again. HelP your inner CHild faCe THeir fears You want to respect your inner child’s fear, but not let it run your life. In the big picture, it’s important to face your fears, otherwise you strengthen the fear and anxiety. If you tell your scared inner child, “It’s okay to run away and avoid things that are scary,” your fears just get bigger. Instead, help yourself (and your inner child) to understand that some things in life are difficult and scary; but, we can do them anyway. Push yourself a little bit, but not so much that you freak yourself out. You want to be a good parent to yourself by being lov-

ing and encouraging. How do you walk that fine line? build uP your ConfidenCe WiTH baby sTePs Slowly begin to expose yourself to that scary experience/ person/event. Helping people create a plan to face their fears is a big part of my job as a psychotherapist. Anxiety usually responds well to cognitive behavioral therapy, and a big part of that is exposure therapy. You can Google it, ask me about it, or check out the book “Feeling Good” by David D. Burns, MD ($1.27 on Amazon). If you’re afraid of going to a big, glamorous holiday party, start to gradually expose yourself to that kind of scary situation. You could begin by putting yourself in social situations that only scare you a little bit. Get comfortable with those and slowly work your way up to that intimidating holiday party. Take it in baby steps and give yourself rewards when you make progress. If you feel completely overwhelmed by your anxiety and none of this stuff helps, please consider getting professional help. Cognitive therapy can be extremely helpful in dealing with panic, phobias and fears. How do I know? I’ve been on both sides of the (therapy) chair, as client and therapist. The good news? Anxiety is not only incredibly common but also treatable. Don’t suffer unnecessarily. Get help and feel better. Graphic by rawpixel.com

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Top to bottom: (l to r) Big Mike Phillips and Jabriel Jordan

BIG MIKE aND fRIENDs

Jabriel Jordan (Photos by Big Mike Phillips)

Big Mike Phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-8077324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.

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very now and then, as an older person in our community, I’ll run across some exceptional young people who stand out. My friend Jabriel Jordan just happens to be one of those people. I met Jabriel back during the Harvey Milk Restaurant days, when he and his good friend would come in now and again to eat. Always very sweet and polite, we became friendly over that period of time. Later, I would see him around town at community and social events and his kindness continued. Every time we see each other now, we always makes a point to say hello and he makes me feel noticed and special. He stands out in a crowd not only because of his stature or looks, but because of his wonderful heart as well. A native to San Diego, Jabriel is 27 and has always had a love for dancing, even as a young child. Dancing was something he loved to do mostly for fun but eventually became more competitively involved with it. Go-go dancing discovered Jabriel one night when he was noticed dancing on the dance floor at a club. The group that noticed him was so impressed that they approached him and invited Jabriel to join and perform with Global Men (a professional dance group). As a go-go dancer here in the heart of San Diego, he has made quite the name for himself — frankly, he is one of Hillcrest’s finest. Jabriel said being invited to dance all over the country for Pride events is especially rewarding and fun because he is with people who are also celebrating their authentic selves. He has been honored to dance at stages at San Diego Pride, The Movement, Oakland Pride, Palm Springs Pride, Miami Pride, Los Angeles Pride and Denver Pride to name a few. Over the years, he has danced with Kulture Shock, World of Dance, Crucial Elements and school teams. He is continuing to use his dancing talents with artists such as Gaze with his new song “Duo Lingo.” He loves to dance every chance he gets as a profession and for fun. Being outgoing and involved in football in high school earned Jabriel a football scholarship (2011-2015) to Mayville State University, North Dakota. Even though he does not play for a college team anymore, Jabriel still enjoys playing for fun when he can with friends. Coming from a family of eight brothers and sisters, he found himself in foster care. He still has a very strong and close relationship with all of his

Jabriel Jordan He is a model and has worked with many talented photographers to capture a lot of beautiful photos throughout the years. Some of Jabriel’s other passions are making music videos, acting, and working on bettering his craft. What I love about him is that he is always very kind, approachable and very easy to talk with. So next time you are out and about, and you see Jabriel dancing as a go-go in one of our LGBTQ bars, make sure you take out one of your big bills, tip him and say hello. Jabriel counts himself as very blessed and appreciates all that San Diego has offered him throughout his life so far. He has fallen in love with the LGBTQ community allowing him to share his art. Hillcrest, with its diversity, has allowed Jabriel — as a bisexual male — to feel free to be himself and be accepted for

siblings. He told me that his entire family, who lives in San Diego, all love music and dance. They support and always encourage each other to use their creativity, be active and do the things they love. Jabriel knows first-hand how important it is to have his siblings’ love and continued involvement in each other’s lives. Growing up and living in different homes led Jabriel toward putting his compassion to work by helping other young people who need a hand. He has pursued his career in nonprofits as a case worker, mentor and director. His love and compassion for other young people, either living in foster care or even on the streets, provides Jabriel a sense of giving back while helping others get a fair chance in life. His dream and life’s goal are to one day open his own nonprofit. I personally admire anyone who is willing to open their heart and mind to helping others. We look forward to that dream becoming a reality.

As a young boy in school, Jabriel got involved by volunteering for different charity organizations that were welcoming and offered to him. He really has a soft spot for animals and joined Big Animals For Little Kids and he became president of the school’s Key Club. Even after getting out of school, he became a peer support specialist, joining organizations like New Alternatives: Therapeutic Behavioral Services, and the Harvey Milk Foundation knowing, his help could be effective. A group of friends encouraged Jabriel to enter the Mr. Flicks contest, which was online and voted on by members of our community — and he won the title of Mr. Flicks. Flicks is one of his favorite bars to work and play in, saying he feels like family there with the staff, owner Jeff, and the customers who treat him so special. Jabriel has become a shining star in the bars and to the people who have gotten to know him in our community.

who he really is. Even though he is a native, Jabriel made a lot of positive changes in his life, knows he is living a happy and rewarding life, and considers Hillcrest home. Jabriel said, “I may have had a life of challenges, but I knew if I had hope and a desire to accomplish what I wanted to do, I could. Thanks to the love and support of those who love and believe in me. I’m not done yet, it’s just the beginning of my life’s adventure.” Our community is full of wonderful and talented, caring individuals — thank you Jabriel for being one of them. Never stop hoping and never stop dreaming. If you would like to be one of the 25,000-plus to follow Jabriel’s Instagram account, visit @kingstephon.

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welcome Monte Vista Village is a vibrant, energetic senior living community dedicated to helping you live a life enriched wonderful experiences in a beautiful environment.

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ask anything, tell me what you think

F MY GOOD TOOTIE Tootie —Tootie is the Mistress on the Mic at Lips Thursday thru Saturday nights at Lips and Sundays for Gospel Brunch as Sister Nun of the Above. She is single and slightly engaged. Mother of two dogs and wears many wigs throughout a day. She is a volunteer, a boss, a change maker, and an activist. Add to that she knows all the best vegan and vegetarian places in San Diego. Email questions to nefertootie@gmail.com

or years, my column ran monthly on sex and love, family and sex, sex and relationships, friendship and sex, and did I mention sex? Over the years, I’ve heard “I loved that column, when are you going to start writing again?” I had no formal training in psychology and never purported to. My advice came from real world experience, and the desire to listen, and help. I was also honest. The publication allowed me to be real. I also welcomed readers questioning my opinion and I was willing to learn. That was Ask Tootie and this new once-a-month column will be called My Good Tootie, taking a cue from gay history. The play on phrase comes from back in the day when two gay guys would go out as friends they would refer to each other as “my good Judy,” signifying they were “just friends.” God knows that if you’re seen with the same friend over and over, people start to think. Back in the same day, who would a gay guy want to be best friends with? No one but Judy Garland. So I’m your new best friend, ask anything, tell

me what you think. Sign your name or keep it anonymous. I only want the things you couldn’t tell anyone else.

How can I get my husband to be more aggressive in bed? I want him to initiate sex...tease me...take me. I get turned on by physical teasing. I love when he slaps my ass, brushes up against my cock. Since we met six years ago, I’ve always been strictly a top and he’s been a bottom. Now I don’t know. Sex is great and we do it often but I want to be taken. You be the Boss. (MGT) Congratulations on six years, I’m not sure I can make it past four, well I could if it was like we lived separately and saw each other twice a week. We do get stuck in our roles and I have to wonder why it is like that with you two? There are differences in sexual roles defined by what we like. Is your husband only interested in being submissive? I can see how that worked out for you six years ago. After a while with the same guy, even I will admit I find that I’m thinking, “Hmmm, he can get it.” I can see you want to change things up, maybe give up more of yourself. This is the beauty of gay relationships. We are less bound to the “this goes into that” paradigm. You can still treat him like a submissive and explore your own vulnerability. While you may need a change-up, he may not see himself as the aggressor. Keep rocking his world with him on the bottom while you take control. Tie his hands, sit on top, grind on him. Lube all necessary parts. Feed him your dick to keep him aroused and submissive and then sit back. Give him a good show. Use some commands and strong words. It’s been a while for you, so I’m sure it’s not going to slip in easy. You’ll be sending the message, I want more and I’m going to take it. Think of it only in this way at first. Let him work into his new role as a power bottom and then a submissive top. I love thinking of all the play you’ll have. Enjoy new roles!

I have been fantasizing that when she’s done with me, we invite a younger big-cocked man into our bed and shows me what she likes. He’s got a big cock, he’s cocky, but not stupid. In my fantasy, we meet him in a grocery store or a bar, in public. He whispers in her ear and she smiles for him and is shameless around him. Like trying to prove something to me. They have a secret. He’s bigger than me. His attention on her makes me jealous and hard, too. I would like to help. God, I’d love to guide it, holding that thick heavy cock. Encouraging him, hearing her, I would like if he stroked me while he pounded her. Moving it forward past my head seems like a recipe for trouble. Why does it turn me on so much to think of my wife with someone else? Wondering not Wandering. (MGT) Thirty years and you’re still having sex three-four times a week? You’re all good. If that puts you in your late 40s or 50s then the idea of exploring sex with another guy or something outside your marriage is common. You mentioned his size several times and that makes me think that you think bigger is better. Real life is that you have been satisfying your wife for 30 years three-four times a week. His penis size is more about the power. You want to see him overpower her and give you a reason to submit to him, too. You’d have to reach out. You couldn’t help yourself but to touch him. I’m encouraging you to explore this, through porn, and literature. Include your wife. She may be modest but when it’s just you two and the lights are low, you can easily read this… and show her how it made you hard. Discussion or sex will ensue. Porn can be a little trickier since you both will be watching it with your own thoughts playing out. You are wondering what she’s thinking and is she judging you, and her wondering what you’re thinking and “where are we going with this shit?” We do think differently. You have it really good in real life, add to it, and bring her along with sensitivity and love.

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Clockwise The first ever benefit to raise awareness about HIV and funds for our sisters and brothers in Tijuana 1984. The owners of Mike’s Bar Always allowed me to have Benefits at their bars Mike’s and Equipales. This photo was taken at my house along with video for a short film about my life for the Latino Film Festival 2006!

fRaNKLY sPEaKING

Drag Ball at the Stonewall 25th Anniversary March on the United Nations.

franko Guillén (franceska)

These three kids were good friends from when I was a kid in Stockton, California, when I ask them to help me with a Benefit they did not hesitate and the rest is History.

— Franko Guillén (Franceska)) is an activist and works in the delicate field of HIV with a guarantee to be 100% confidential!

(Photos courtesy of Franko Guillén)

— Franko Guillén (Franceska) es activista y trabaja en el delicado ramo del VIH 100% Confidencial!

franCamenTe Hablando Permítanme presentarme, mi nombre es Franko V. Guillén También conocido como Franceska. Mi columna se dedica a la Comunidad Latina con el respeto que esta me merece! Para quienes se pregunten ¿Quién soy y por qué escribo una columna en español para este periódico en San Diego? Les diré que hace casi 40 años llegué a la Ciudad de San Diego, del Norte de California, con la ilusión de vivir en una ciudad multicultural cerca de mi país de origen donde yo pensé viviría y sería respetado por hablar los dos idiomas, siendo abiertamente homosexual con ganas de aportar mis conocimientos a mis hermanos/as monolingües (Español solamente parlantes) para mejorar su calidad de VIDA y su integridad como Seres Humanos! La sorpresa que me llevé fue brutal e inaceptable para un joven homosexual de 25 años que era parte del movimiento Latino Homosexual/Lésbico/Transgénero/ Bisexual en Stockton/Modesto y San francisco en la comunidad Homosexual de San Diego había un racismo y malentendido de quienes eramos los latinos en los bares Homosexuales se nos pedía que si queríamos hablar español nos fuésemos a nuestro País que estaba a 15 minutos de Hillcrest a mí me lo pidieron una sola vez en 1983, y se dieron cuenta que se habían equivocado conmigo, me uní a un grupo de activistas Latinos y un hermoso Anglosajón de nombre Larry Lyons, quien amaba nuestra Cultura Latina, y empezamos a ver la manera

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lease allow me to introduce myself: My name is Franko V. Guillén, also known as Franceska. My column is dedicated to the Latino community with the utmost respect. To those asking themselves who am I and why I am writing a Spanish column for the San Diego LGBTQ community? You should know that I arrived in San Diego, nearly 40 years ago from Stockton, California where I was already involved in the homosexual activism world! My hope when moving to San Diego was to live in a multicultural city, with the respect me of those around me, and I could use my talents and my biculturalism/ bilingualism to help needy communities and live as a proud homosexual. I wanted to help my sisters and brothers be at peace with themselves and proud and honest with their identity. I found a city very intolerant of Latinos speaking Spanish in the Hillcrest gay bars in 1983. The manager of the Brass Rail came by where I was sitting with two young men from Tijuana to tell us that if we wanted to speak the language of México, that is 15 minutes south. That is when I focused on two platforms for the respect for my culture, language, dignity and in support of my sisters, brothers and children infected and affected with HIV, then stupidly called

GRID (Gay Related Immune Deficiency). I got together with Latino and Latina activists from those days to defend our culture and people living with HIV giving birth to Orgullo Latino, the first homosexual, lesbian, transgender, bisexual organization in the LGBTQ community. I took on the role as fundraiser and HIV educator. After asking every bar within the LGBTQ community many times to allow me to have a fundraiser with an English show and an all-Latino cast in Spanish to close the night, they all said no. But one day, I got a

phone call from Clint Johnson, a beautiful bar owner in the heart of Hillcrest’s BJ’s. He trusted my idea. That’s how the first-ever Latino night happened in the San Diego gay community, with a packed house where the biggest politicians attended and helped raise money for our infected and affected community in Tijuana. I’ll give you more history and information about what’s going on in the Latino world in my next column. Thank you for your support and please send me information about your events at frankoguillen@aol.com.

de cómo defender nuestros derechos como Homosexuales/ Lesbianas/Transgeneros/Bisexuals dentro de nuestro propio mundo y así nació Latinos con Orgullo después llamado GLLO (Gay and Lesbian Latinos con Orgullo) mi papel en el grupo fue y sigue siendo Recaudador de Fondos y educador de VIH/ SIDA. El bar que me permitió hacer el primer evento en Español fué BJ”S en Hillcrest con un lleno total donde los políticos de esa época se dieron cita para apoyar el primer evento de recaudación de fondos para ayudar a nuestras Mujeres, Hombres y Niños que vivían con el virus en Tijuana, México. Después vino la primer noche Latina en el Brass Rail, de la cual fuí fundador y productor por muchos años, y así se dieron cuenta los dueños de bares que podían confiar en la Comunidad Latina y que les producimos muy buenas ganancias! Mi trabajo profesional siempre me ha dado muchas satisfacciones y me ha abierto el alma a la compasión y al respeto para todos los seres humanos, también me ha hecho consciente de quién soy y como quiero ser tratado y tratarme a mí mismo como ser humano! Les agradezco de antemano su apoyo y sus historias para darlas a conocer a nuestros Lectores! frankoguillen@aol.com

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November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

The magical insanity of the Christmas spirit By Albert H. Fulcher In a one-man show, Will Bethmann plays Crumpet in “The Santaland Diaries.” (Photo courtesy of Diversionary Theatre)

“The Santaland Diaries,” a play adapted from a David Sedaris essay by Joe Mantello, is an exploration of a true story of a time Sedaris spent as an elf in Santaland at Macy’s. Sedaris explored this crazy experience with all of Christmas’ magic and insanity, said Diversionary Theatre’s producing associate and director Anthony Methvin. Methvin said there’s no better place for this evaluation than at Santaland, which is kind of the center of the Christmas universe, where the classic “Miracle on 34th Street” took place. “He [Sedaris] was in the eye of the storm,” said Methvin. “It gave him a really unique perspective from his time there. I think also that it is exciting to me that Sedaris, who I think is one of our greatest modern queer voices, is finally finding a home here on the Diversionary stage. Especially for a queer audience, there are resonances as a member of the LGBTQ community and the tenuous moments of what the holidays are with familial relationships.”

Melissa’s back!

Methvin said because Sedaris is writing from a queer perspective, exploring that is a great way to give a gift to the Diversionary audience “We can gather with our own chosen family, our real families, our allies and be in a space where we can share this story that is really queer and incredibly universal,” Methvin said. “We can laugh at Christmas, fall in love with Christmas, and sometimes do both things in the same breath. It feels like a Christmas homecoming, which is really awesome.” Directing “The Santaland Diaries” has been a wonderful process, said Methvin. “Sedaris is a genius with a very dry wit and a unique perspective on the world,” Methvin said. “What’s been fun in that framework is uncovering some of the magic as much as it is centered on the kind of insanity of the Christmas holiday. It’s been fun to explore what that kind of traditionally Christmas magic or that peppermint heart at the center is. It’s been really surprising and challenging in

ENTERTaINMENT the best of ways.” Headlining the one-man show, Wil Bethmann (Crumpet) said that as soon as he read the script, he immediately decided that he would get the part. He said the fact that Sedaris has the capacity to laugh at himself and tries his hardest to be a good person in spite of his circumstance is what drew him to the character. “Working as a department store elf is not what David wants to be doing,” Bethmann said. “He’s able to find humor in his surroundings instead of being beaten down by them, while providing biting commentary that audiences can laugh at and learn from as they head into the holiday season. Christmas can bring out the worst in people as David sees but he is able to remain sympathetic. These are all families trying their best to navigate their lives during the Christmas season. Just like he is.” Bethmann said the play is relevant today with some unexpected twists, but that there is a reason “The Santaland Diaries” still has the fan base that it does. “The holiday season and the insanity it brings into all of our lives is universally understood,” Bethmann said. “The beautiful parts and the ugly parts rear their heads and you get to sit back with a cocktail and watch one smart elf take them on.” The show is accompanied by a rarely produced companion piece. It is a shorter play with Linda Libby performing Mrs. Dunbar in “Season’s GreetThe Santaland Diaries continues on Page 19

Melissa Etheridge, performing at San Diego Pride Festival on July 14. (Photo by Albert H. Fulcher)

After headlining the San Diego Pride Festival this year, Melissa Etheridge is returning for a one-night performance at the Poway Center for the Performing Arts on Nov. 15. Academy Award and multiGrammy-winner Etheridge will perform a range of hits from her stellar career, including her latest studio release, “Medicine Show. Tickets are on sale $45$110, with a $149 VIP Photo Op Package add on available. Visit powayonstage.org.

50 years of ‘Jesus Christ superstar’ Aaron LaVigne and Jenna Rubaii and the company of the North American Tour of “Jesus Christ Superstar”. (Photo by Matthew Murphy)

Critically acclaimed, sold-out engagements in the United Kingdom, the reimagined 50th anniversary tour of “Jesus Christ Superstar” comes to San Diego from Nov. 12-17. Considered one of the top rock-opera Broadway performances, featuring award-winning music by Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyrics by Tim Rice, the North American tour of this iconic musical will be helmed by acclaimed director Timothy Sheader and cutting-edge choreographer Drew McOnie. Tickets are available at the San Diego Civic Theatre or by visiting BroadwaySD.com.

gay-sd.com

CaLENDaR

gay-sd.com

November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

Nov NOv 11

VOluNTEERS AND DONATiONS NEEDED The 32nd annual Scott Carlson & Dan Ferbal Thanksgiving Dinner is on Nov. 28. The event will feed an estimated 400 people this year as well as gather food that will be taken to the Hillcrest Fire Station, UCSD Hospital and the North Park Senior Apartments. To volunteer or to make donations, contact Robert Rodriguez at 619-817-9926 or Steven Blocker at 619-921-3775.

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Grinch Dr. Seuss’s “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!” is a wonderful, whimsical musical. Back for its 22nd incredible year, the family favorite features the songs “This Time of Year,”“Santa for a Day,”“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and “Fah Who Doraze,” the delightful carol from the popular animated version. Celebrate the holidays as the Old Globe Theatre is once again transformed into snow-covered Whoville, right down to the last can of Whohash. Runs through Dec. 29. $19-$84. Visit theoldglobe.org for dates and show times.

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NATiONAl hAPPy hOuR DAy

VETERANS DAy PARADE As part of the commitment to being visible as out LGBTQ service members, join San Diego Pride and the San Diego Pride Military Department as we march proudly in the San Diego Veterans Day Parade. Join us along Harbor Drive in Downtown San Diego. All San Diegans are invited to come down to the waterfront to show their appreciation to our service members and all of those who protect our freedoms at home and abroad. Wave to community groups, military groups, impressive floats, prominent community members and more! Listen to live music from patriotic groups and ultimately, let’s come together to thank our veterans! 10 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Free. bit.ly/2qkM36D

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‘JeSuS chriST SuperSTar’ The musical-theater version of composer Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyricist Tim Rice’s hit 1970 rock opera gets the passionate revival it has long deserved when the Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre’s production of “Jesus Christ Superstar” comes to the United States. The show’s 50th anniversary tour offers an emotionally resonant, hard-rocking experience that debuted in London in 2016. Runs through Nov. 17. $25.50$299. San Diego Civic Theatre, 1100 Third Ave. bit.ly/2qgrngg

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cASA’S 20Th ANNiVERSARy Coordinated Assistance, Services & Advocacy (CASA), formerly the South Bay AIDS Project, has been the primary provider of culturally and linguistically competent HIV/AIDS social case management services in the South Bay area since 1993. In March 1999, CASA, was established as part of San Ysidro Health. CASA’s service delivery strategy is designed to enrich and enhance the client’s quality of life through social interaction, fellowship, mutual support, access to medical care, and access to educational and recreational opportunities. Free. 3 p.m. 3045 Beyer Blvd. Ste. D-101. bit.ly/2JGYIrc

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BiANcA DEl RiO Bi After global sold out tours, Bianca Del Rio is in San Diego for one day only with her “It’s Jester Joke” tour. The selfproclaimed “clown in a gown” tells tales of her worldwide adventures and the outrageous circus that is her life in her comical “tell it like it is” voice, covering life from politics to travel, family and social media. $55-$656 (VIP Guest Packages). 368 8 p.m. Fourth Ave. bit.ly/33lDjff

Send calendar events to Albert@sdcnn.com.

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fOuR fABulOuS fEmAlE-fRONTED BANDS Four female-fronted bands in one night at the Queen Bee’s Art & Cultural Center: Tennessee Tina (8 p.m.), Sometimes Julie (9 p.m.), Donna Larsen and Messengers (10 p.m.) and The Alicia Previn Band (11 p.m.). 3925 Ohio St. bit.ly/2pxn5AZ

‘DeSerT hearTS’ Presented by FilmOut San Diego, Donna Deitch’s swooning and sensual first film, “Desert Hearts,” was groundbreaking upon its 1986 release: a love story about two women, produced and directed by a woman. In the 1959-set film, an adaptation of a beloved novel by Jane Rule, straitlaced East Coast professor Vivian Bell (Helen Shaver) arrives in Reno to file for divorce, but winds up catching the eye of someone new, the younger free spirit Cay (Patricia Charbonneau), touching off a slow seduction that unfolds against the breathtaking desert landscape. 7 p.m. $12.50. Landmark’s Hillcrest Cinemas, 3965 Fifth Ave. bit.ly/2JHLeLV

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‘LeGenDS’ Nov. 16-17, the San Diego Women’s Chorus will begin the fall season with “Legends,” featuring music by extraordinary women. “Legends” features hits by Lady Gaga, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, and Pat Benatar, and songs from popular musicals “Waitress” and “The Greatest Showman.” SDWC will pay tribute to numerous musical greats, from Aretha Franklin, Alanis Morrisette, Joni Mitchell, Carole King, and a song commissioned specifically for SDWC by Janis Ian. $18-$30. University Christian Church, 3900 Cleveland Ave. bit.ly/2pJAu92

‘The SanTaLanD DiarieS’ From the brilliantly twisted mind of David Sedaris comes a classic tonic for the holidaze. Out of work and options, “The Santaland Diaries” finds David as he begins his career as an elf in Macy’s Santaland during the holiday crunch. Battling throngs of rabid families clamoring towards a drunken Santa to satiate their Christmas fix, David makes do with some hilarious observations on human nature, and an unexpected connection to the holiday spirit. Runs through Dec. 22. $22.50-$25. Dates and times vary. Diversionary Theatre, 4545 Park Blvd. Ste. 101. bit.ly/2PF6t54

Q Puzzle QSyndicate.com

misTress of evil aCross 1 Sissy 5 Shoot off a larger branch 10 They may come from uranus 14 Antioxidant berry 15 Model’s asset 16 Request from bended knee 17 Woody valley 18 Beatles manager Brian’s nickname 19 Trireme propellers 20 She plays Princess Aurora in “Maleficent: Mistress of Evil” 23 Threesome on a phone button 25 Same-sex vow, now 26 lid for Barrie 27 Pacifier 30 Roll with the punches 32 You can dance with a sailor here 34 dish in a lab 36 With 40-Across, she plays Queen Ingris in “Maleficent: Mistress of Evil” 38 like some classic movies 39 Cross-dresser’s concern 40 See 36-Across 42 Sticky stuff 43 Taiwanese or Thai 45 Way out 46 goofed up 49 James Whale portrayer McKellen

Solutions on page 17 50 Way of the theater 52 Cabinet div. 54 Connoisseur Allen and others 56 She plays the title role in “Maleficent: Mistress of Evil” 61 Asian cuisine 62 Biscotti flavoring 63 gets the bottom line 65 Erection, in slang 66 gin partner 67 nY Met, for one 68 it may come before 69 69 “___ at time!” (serial polygamy motto) 70 lairs of bears doWn 1 What a guy may shoot 2 Frozen dessert 3 Culprit with a Y chromosome? 4 AZT dose 5 geert Blanchart’s kind of skating 6 High hit ball in glenn Burke’s sport 7 Talk show cohost Kelly 8 Really loves 9 Susan’s “Thelma and Louise” partner 10 Second word of a fairy tale 11 Poles for pennants 12 On top of, in poetry

13 Airline to Oslo 21 Soda size, sometimes 22 Philip Johnson contemporary 23 Cost, in slang 24 Susie Bright, to erotica 28 Tough sledding 29 Cocteau’s Peter 31 F-word start, for Socrates? 33 Mapplethorpe’s “Dark ___ Rose” 35 Band that recorded “Unbelievable” 37 Comic actor delaria 38 Kevin Bacon in “Footloose” 41 1940 disney classic 44 Audit 47 More like Cho’s comedy 48 One of Freddie Mercury’s pair 50 Annie from “Oklahoma!” 51 Cuba or Aruba 53 Philosopher of Athens 55 Force out 56 “Cat on ___ Tin Roof” 57 Children’s caretaker 58 Bean’s team 59 “Spamalot” writer Eric 60 Forbidden fruit site 61 uSA alternative 64 MTF operation

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POLITICs

November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

gay-sd.com

NOTEs fROM TONI Toni G. atkins —Toni G. Atkins represents the 39th District in the California Senate. Follow her on Twitter @SenToniAtkins.

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alifornia’s housing crisis is plunging families and individuals into poverty, threatening our children’s futures, splitting up families, making it difficult for businesses to attract and retain talent, and burdening our economy. Housing instability sends ripples throughout all facets of our society, affecting education, physical and mental health, transportation, and climate action. I recognized this growing problem more than 20 years ago while working as a policy aide at the city level and began working to strengthen San Diego’s affordable-housing efforts after being elected to the City Council. The governor and the Legislature gave the issue the sense of urgency it demanded in 2017, when we passed a package of 15 bills that addressed the crisis with a mix of

The 411 on California

regulatory reform and revenue measures, including my Senate Bill 2, which created a permanent source of funding for affordable housing. In 2018, we followed up with additional measures to remove barriers in the way of housing construction, as well as significant budget funding for communities throughout the state to combat homelessness. That funding has begun making its way to projects and programs in the San Diego region aimed at connecting homeless residents with housing and preventing those at risk from falling into homelessness. This year, we continued our progress with additional regulatory reform, protections against unreasonable evictions and exorbitant rent increases, and another $2.5 billion to address homelessness and housing instability, the largest such direct investment in state

history. But even before 2017, the state was increasing its investments in targeted housing programs that have resulted in thousands of new affordable homes. Since 2015, the Affordable Housing and Sustainable Communities program that I was proud to champion as Assembly speaker has used proceeds from our innovative cap-and-trade system to create more than 9,000 affordable homes near transit, including more than 1,000 in San Diego. The latest project in San Diego to receive such funding is one at 13th and Broadway in East Village that will provide 273 apartments with supportive services for people experiencing homelessness. And thanks to the voters who passed Proposition 41 in 2014, the Veterans Housing and Homelessness Program

events @THECENTER Testing @ The Center FREE HIV and Hep C Testing First time? Nervous? Scared? Join us at The Center for a new, friendly HIV and HCV (Hepatitis C) testing experience. Free HIV and HCV testing is available Monday-Friday 9am-8pm (last test at 7pm) and Saturday 10am-3pm (last test at 2pm). Along with the OraQuick Rapid Antibody test, the Center offers the UCSD Early Test on Monday-Friday 9am-8pm (last test at 7pm.) The Early Test is a specialized viral load test for HIV infection as early as one week after exposure. $10 Target gift cards available as a thank you for testing and spreading the word. For more information, call 619.692.2077 x101. Want a test in Spanish – just ask?

Wednesday, November 20

Transgender Day of Remembrance 6 pm, Vigil March Outside The Center 7 pm, Program at The Center The annual Transgender Day of Remembrance is a solemn day to honor and remember the lives of people who have died as a result of transphobia and hate. Join us on Wednesday, November 20, 2019 at 6pm, as we remember those we lost due to anti-transgender hate and violence. Together we will mourn, honor & celebrate their authentic lives. All are welcome.

The Center’s LGBT Safe S.T.A.Y. Program The Center is happy to provide the LGBT Safe S.T.A.Y. Program (Shelter for Transitional Age Youth) for youth ages 18-24. This 4-bed emergency housing program is available three nights per week for LGBTQ youth on Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays from 10 pm- 7am. To inquire about a bed, call Silvia at 619.692.2077 x124.

www.thecentersd.org The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077

Twitter: @LGBTCenter

facebook.com/At.The.Center

(VHHP) has funded nearly 2,600 new homes for struggling veterans, including 323 in San Diego County. A great VHHP-funded project is Zephyr Apartments in Grantville, which opened earlier this year, providing 84 homes with supportive services and close access to the trolley. Going forward, these are the kinds of results I’ll be looking for as our more recently passed measures are implemented, and I’ll be monitoring them closely to ensure that they are effective. At the same time, I will be intimately involved in efforts to stimulate the production of the new middle- and lower-income housing that is so desperately needed along our transit corridors and near job centers, making sure that residents in potentially affected communities are key participants in the conversation. governor for a day What an honor it was on Oct. 4 to again serve as acting governor while Governor Gavin Newsom and Lieutenant Governor Eleni Kounalakis were both out of the state. It was the third time I’ve had the privilege of being California’s top elected official for a day. The first time came on July 30, 2014, while I was speaker of the Assembly, when the governor, the lieutenant governor, and the Senate leader were all out of the state. I used that opportunity to declare it Tony Gwynn Day in the state of California, honoring the San Diego baseball legend who had sadly passed away due to complications from cancer 44 days prior. Then it happened again in September 2014. This time, I wanted to again highlight something positive about San Diego, so I declared Oct. 5 to be Tuna Harbor Dockside Market Day, in honor of the fresh-fish market’s fifth anniversary. When I was in the Assembly, I was pleased to author a bill that made it easier for fish markets like San Diego’s to start up and succeed. If you haven’t been to the Tuna Harbor Dockside Market, it’s a wonderfully vibrant – and delicious – experience. Visit it on Saturdays along the small pier adjacent to Seaport Village. And in a separate act, act-

ing first dog Joey and I announced that Oct. 12 would be Free Senior Pet Adoption Day at San Diego Humane Society and that we would cover the cost for anyone who wished to adopt a dog or cat that was at least 7 years old. It was heartwarming to be at the Humane Society and watch as two senior dogs, Teddy and Rosa, headed out the door on their way to their new homes. I had just met Teddy the week before – what a sweet dog he is! In all, nine senior dogs and four senior cats went home with new families that day. These actions were my way, as a devoted animal lover and enthusiastic supporter of small business owners, to say thank you to the Humane Society and the men and women who are keeping our local fishing industry vital. Serving as acting governor is a serious constitutional responsibility, and I approach the duty intending to be a short-term caretaker without incident – and also to use the opportunity to highlight some of the special things in my home city! SHAKe, rATTle, AND roll California is shaking up its emergency warning system in an effort to keep residents safe in the event of an earthquake, launching a new tool that I encourage all San Diegans to use. The statewide Earthquake Early Warning System – the first of its kind in the nation – was launched Oct. 17, on the 30th anniversary of the devastating Loma Prieta earthquake. The tool combines a new smartphone app with traditional alert and warning delivery, using ground-motion sensors from throughout the state to detect earthquakes and notify residents so we can take precautions. Keeping Californians safe is a priority for the Legislature and Governor Newsom, which is why we included $16.3 million in one-time funds to complete this new system in this year’s enacted budget. Here in San Diego, where the Rose Canyon fault runs beneath Downtown and the San Jacinto and Elsinore faults cut through the eastern party of our county, it’s especially important for residents to learn more about mitigating earthquake risk and damage, especially to older homes. For tips and information, go to earthquakeauthority.com. To learn about our new Earthquake Early Warning System, go to earthquake.ca.gov. naTural reserve sysTem benefiTs us all Attention, nature lovers: Did you know there is a living library of ecosystems preserved for the public good in our district? In addition to an exceptional University of CaliforNotes from Toni continues on Page 15

POLITICs

gay-sd.com

November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

DIsTRICT aTTORNEY NEWs

CITY aTTORNEY NEWs

summer stephan

Mara W. Elliott

—District Attorney Summer Stephan has dedicated more than 29 years to serving justice and victims of crime as prosecutor. She is a national leader in fighting sex crimes and human trafficking and in creating smart and fair criminal justice solutions and restorative justice practices that treat the underlying causes of addiction and mental illness and that keep young people from being incarcerated.

—Mara W. Elliott was elected City Attorney of San Diego in 2016 after serving as the chief deputy attorney for the Office’s Public Services Section and legal adviser to the city’s Independent Audit Committee and Environment Committee. Elliott and the lawyers in her section held polluters accountable, reformed city contracting, cut administrative red tape, and strengthened the city’s living wage and non-discrimination in contracting ordinances.

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s your district attorney, I’m committed to increasing communication and accessibility between the DA’s office and you, the community. One way I have been doing that is through this monthly column, where I provide consumer tips on public safety matters. Getting your kids into a good college is a stressful journey for both parents and students, especially when it comes to the prep work that goes into getting a good score on college entrance exams. Numerous companies have capitalized on this stressful time offering programs to help students study for the SAT or ACT test. Unfortunately, rogue actors have infiltrated this growing market and are impersonating test prep companies to swindle unsuspecting parents out of their credit card number and personal information. Here’s how you can identify

Don’t fall for college prep scams

suspicious companies and avoid falling into a college prep scam: • If you receive a call from someone claiming to be from the College Board — the organization responsible from the PSAT and SAT test — do not give out personal information. Instead hang up. College Board representatives will only make calls to families in response to inquiries made by students. • Some scammers will email or call asking for credit card or personal information in exchange for test prep materials. Do not give out personal or financial information. This “cold-call method” is a common strategy currently being used to scam parents. • Scammers often have the name, address and other personal information of those

Notes from Toni continues from Page 14

nia campus, the San Diego region also is home to several of the UC’s Natural Reserves, a conservation system consisting of 41 protected sites – more than 756,000 acres – throughout the state. The reserves, which include the state’s major habitat types, are outdoor labs where scientists research everything from climate change to wildfire mitigation, as well as inspire future generations of scientists and eco-enthusiasts through tours for K-12 and college students. In my district, the Natural Reserve System includes the Scripps Coastal Reserve, a nearly 1,000-acre coastal canyon and intertidal area in La Jolla; and Kendall-Frost Mission Bay Marsh Reserve, a 16-acre wetland habitat that is ideal for bird watching. The reserves are ecological treasures, and we are fortunate they are part of our community! To learn more about the Natural Reserve System, visit nrs.ucsd.edu. around THe disTriCT I was inspired joining UCSD’s CALPIRG students for their fall kick-off meeting! They have helped thousands of students register to vote and worked with the UC system to commit to renewable energy,

among many other things. I was pleased to join the Friends of Balboa Park in honoring retiring civic leader Stacey LoMedico, who is wellknown as an effective problem solver when it came to issues in our city parks. It was a pleasure to visit the Point Loma Association. They do so much to improve their community’s quality of life, particularly the Mean Green Team volunteers who weed, plant, and pick up trash to beautify the area. California is setting new standards for law enforcement and its relationship with communities. I was pleased to join the California Commission on Police Officer Standards and Training at their De-escalation Summit in San Diego. It’s always great to chat with the San Diego chapter of the American Council of Engineering Companies. When it comes to maintaining infrastructure in the age of climate change, there’s lots to talk about. RISE San Diego has done a wonderful job of cultivating strong leaders, encouraging civic engagement, and supporting our neighborhoods! I enjoyed celebrating their fifth anniversary with them.

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they call to make themselves more believable. If you did not personally contact a known test prep company asking for test materials, then the caller is likely trying to swindle you. • Requests for payment through a money wire, gift card or reloadable credit card are scams. • If you receive an offer from a test prep company, always research the company. Start by asking your student’s school counselor to confirm the company’s reputation. •If you receive a call from the College Board, verify they are trying to reach you by calling them yourself. Scammers use technology to make any phone number they want appear on caller ID. •Even when purchasing services from a legitimate company, always read the fine print. If you received a phone call from a scammer or if you were scammed by one, here are steps you can take to report them and avoid falling for one again: •Report the company at the Federal Trade Commission. •Report the scammers to the attorney general. •Contact your bank and report the transaction. With the fall semester just kicking into full gear, students and their parents have enough to worry about between afterschool activities, maintaining a high GPA and getting into college. Preparing for college exams shouldn’t involve getting scammed. Best wishes to your college-bound child. Remember, each student has his or her own path to success and California has excellent community colleges that can pave the way for a university. The DA’s Consumer Protection Unit is made up of deputy district attorneys, investigators and paralegals dedicated to protecting consumers and lawabiding businesses from fraudulent or unfair business practices. To report a consumer complaint, you can call 619-531-3507 or email consumer@ sdcda.org.

Working to clear low-level marijuana convictions

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eople deserve second chances in life, especially when a mistake from the past can have exaggerated consequences on their future. That’s why I’m working to dismiss convictions from the records of thousands of San Diegans who violated nowobsolete laws against possessing low-level amounts of marijuana. These citizens often cannot fully participate in society because they once engaged in an activity that today is legal in the eyes of the courts, the state Legislature, and the voters of California. They may be turned down for a job, or unable to rent a home. Having a criminal record can keep them from coaching their child’s sports team, or affect their ability to obtain a student loan for college. My office is currently reviewing more than 5,000 misdemeanor and infraction convictions from 2009 through 2018, and thousands more before then. Charges will be systematically dismissed to clear conviction records for those who qualify, and records will be sealed. We filed the first motions to dismiss 30 convictions on Sept. 25, and additional motions will be filed on a regular and ongoing basis. Under a bill passed by the state Legislature, prosecutors like myself are tasked with clearing convictions before July 1, 2020. We are working with the Superior Court, San Diego County District Attorney Summer Stephan, and the office of the San Diego Public

Defender to develop a streamlined countywide process to identify all eligible individuals. We are conducting a thorough review of convictions documented in the databases of the Superior Court, City Attorney’s Office, and California Department of Justice. Since marijuana became legal in California, people convicted of low-level misdemeanors and infractions for marijuana possession could petition the court to have their records dismissed. However, few took advantage of the opportunity, likely because they didn’t know about it, or perhaps found the process lengthy, daunting, and expensive. Since the city will be proactively dismissing these convictions, the defendants will not have to file a petition, hire a lawyer, or take any other actions. This effort will wipe the slate clean for thousands of San Diegans who can then start over without having to disclose a criminal record on any job, property rental, volunteer, or loan application. When our work is done, thousands of San Diegans will be able to move forward with their lives without this mark on their records. Everyone makes mistakes, and we all deserves second chances. Most use the opportunity to make better lives for themselves and their loved ones. Questions concerning the conviction dismissal process can be sent to CityAttorney@sandiego.gov at the City Attorney’s Office.

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November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3 Rendering and floor plans (Courtesy of Living Out Palm Springs)

Palm springs

development for lgBTQ seniors projected to go nationwide By Albert H. Fulcher

NEWs

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here is a new housing project underway in Palm Springs, exclusively for providing LGBTQ seniors with a place to live openly and safe from hostility. Living Out Palm Springs is the first luxury, active-living development to be designed by, invested in and created for LGBTQ seniors to address the needs of LGBTQ people entering the next chapter of their lives. The project will break ground this fall in the heart of Palm Springs – already a vibrant LGBTQ and retirement destination. Koar International owner Loren Ostrow and Living Out Director of Marketing LuAnn Boylan are heavily involved in the LGBTQ community. Among a handful of leadership roles, most notable, both have served on the board of directors/trustees for the LA LGBT Center for more than 20 years. Their collective passion plays a central role in understanding the needs that Living Out Palm Springs meets. Ostrow explained that while most people want to live in a safe, welcoming environment, there are a lot of places unsafe and/or unwelcoming to LGBTQ people. So he began working on the idea for Living Out Palm Springs about 1 1/2 years ago. They expect to start construction this December or January 2020 and open in June 2021. Ostrow asked Boylan, who he knew through their long-time connection at the LA LGBT Center, to join him in the venture as marketing director. When completed, Boylan said there will be 105 units available, all of which are configured into four different floor plans: two for one-bedroom units (1,200 square feet) and two for two-bedroom units (1,650 square feet). Prices start in the mid-$600,000s and range to just above $900,000, depending on the floor plan selected. Applications are now being accepted. It is a 55-plus community. “We have already had a number of people contacting us saying to please let them know when we start [taking] reservations,” Boylan said. Ostrow said that Palm Springs is its flagship property venture location, but his conversations with various business owners around the country are opening up the possibilities of developing similar housing for LGBTQ seniors across the nation. “Obviously, there is a great need in the community for safe places for people in the LGBTQ community,” Ostrow said. “Whenever I talk about this idea, I can’t count the times that gay people have said to me, ‘I’ve been thinking about this. I’ve been wondering what is going to happen to me when I get older. Where am I going to live? Where is going to be safe for me?’ It’s in the back, if not the front, of everybody’s mind.” Ostrow explained that some LGBTQ community members have familial support and others do not but whether they have the capacity to care for themselves, or require assistance, the reality is that many of those people who are now

seniors do not have support from family members. LGBTQ seniors run the risk of living alone and feeling isolated even more than the average member of the senior community. “There are people that live in Palm Springs, which is a very supportive community itself,” Ostrow said. “Yet, as they get older, they are living in their own place, even in a nice development or area, but they are on their own. And they are concerned [about] what happens to them as they get older. That’s what we are trying to address.” Boylan said in talking with people, one conversation she had in particular really hit home. “A fellow just turned 76,” Boylan said. “He was born and raised in California but has been out of state for some time and his dream is to be able to come home. He does not have a family and he doesn’t have a partner. His long-time partner passed away and he finds himself moving forward, not knowing what forward looks like. His conversation with me, was he knows that what makes people age quicker is getting depressed and feeling alone.” Boylan said they are planning for Living Out Palm Springs to be a place where residents can socialize, feel like a part of a community, and bask in a sense of companionship. And Ostrow said the housing project has an entire array of amenities that address the needs of the community. “It is really an amenity-rich property,” Ostrow said. “We are built on 9 acres, so we had the luxury to do a lot of outside space. We have a resort-style pool, exercise pool, pickle ball court, bocce ball court, a putting green, a restaurant for people that live there, a piano bar, movie theater, a gym, a lounge area with a Starbucks kind of operation where people can gather during the day. And I think one of the most exciting things that we are doing is putting in a dog park for the residents. One section for small dogs and one section for large dogs. It will be connected to a retail building that will have a pet services retail business where people can buy pet food, pet supplies, grooming, a day care and overnight hotel for pets. It allows people to be with their pets, live with their pets and have all of this right here as part of the project.” Boylan said with all of the amenities offered in this project, you won’t have to leave the community, but if you desire to, it is located within a short walking distance of Palm Canyon Drive (Palm Springs’ main thoroughfare) so people can easily walk to restaurants, shops or hang out spots. “That’s sort of the best of both worlds,” Boylan said. “Since we started taking reservations, we’ve had a lot of opportunity to talk to a lot of people and it has been very reassuring and a great feeling to have so many people express their gratitude for them being able to have a choice and this kind of environment,” Boylan continued. “That’s been very rewarding to me.”

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fEaTURE / BUsINEss & sERvICEs (Courtesy photos)

veteran Wall of Honor continues from Page 5

November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

BUsINEss & sERvICEs

JACKSoN reDMoND lee lozano-osier

Shortly after 9/11, Lee decided to join the US Navy to support and defend the U.S. and its constitution. He joined in a little later in life than most, but that didn’t deter him. He entered as a Mess Specialist and worked his way up to Second Class Petty Officer (E5) under the newly minted rating, Culinary Specialist. During his enlistment, he served on the USS Kitty Hawk aircraft carrier and was deployed in support of Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom. Lee also served overseas in Japan and then here in San Diego, where he was honorably discharged after eight years of service with various awards and commendations in 2010. While serving and since his discharge, Lee was a member of American Veterans for Equal Rights (AVER), which advocated for the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell”; he marched in the San Diego Veterans parade with an LGBT contingent; and he provided catering services at the Military Ball held at The Center. Because his spouse was also in the Navy, Lee became an active member of American Military Partner Association (AMPA), helping other spouses deal with the effects of deployment. As an early volunteer with Stonewall Citizen’s Patrol, he helped establish the organization as a nonprofit, drafted bylaws and then served on its board for two years. Lee also has been a player, coach, manager and now a board member for the AFCSL (America’s Finest City Softball League). As a military spouse, he supported his husband through the end of his career by managing the production of the first LGBT military retirement ceremony to be held at The San Diego LGBT Community Center. Lee has and always will support and advocate for our community.

ruby sola

Ruby Sola served aboard the USS Howard W. Gilmore, a submarine tender, and the USS Claude V. Ricketts, a destroyer. Serving during the late 1970s, no one could be gay, let alone transgender and pursue her true gender identity. Upon her discharge in Norfolk, Virginia, Ruby relocated to San Diego, where she volunteered with the San Diego AIDS Project in the 1980s. She was instrumental in facilitating some of the first safe sex classes at the AIDS Project and the Unitarian Universalist Church. She worked front and back offices with Dr. Brad Truax, one of the first doctors to address the AIDS crisis. She also collaborated with a local pharmacist, Joy Galloway, ensuring medications were covered for patients. Ruby also did street outreach for the San Diego AIDS Project and was the Peer Advocate/Events Coordinator for the nonprofit “Being Alive.” She was a charter member of the Trans Latina group Transgenero 2000, San Diego’s first support group for Trans monolingual and undocumented Trans women, which celebrates its 20th anniversary in 2020 and continues meeting at The Center. Ruby remains active by advocating for the development of the North Park Senior Apartments, San Diego’s first LGBT affirming senior housing complex. All of this was accomplished with a neverending optimism in the promise of herself, her community, and her country.

Jackson Redmond’s devotion to the community began like so many, at home in rural North Carolina. He was raised to work hard and be the best he could be. His interest in engineering and the desire to serve was welcomed in the US Army National Guard. Jackson demonstrates the Army’s core values even after leaving service in 2004 with loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and personal courage in all he does. He believes these seven core values are what a solider and citizen is all about. While on active duty, his unit deployed to the Republic of Moldova under a partnership with the United States. One of the main reasons for this program was to foster closer relations on nonmilitary issues, such as education, health service, and humanitarian initiatives. His actions led to his award of the Army Achievement Medal. This inspired Jackson to never pass an opportunity up to continue his civil engineering and community service paths. Living under the scrutiny of “don’t ask don’t tell” proved to be the hardest part of his enlistment. Having that added stress to his daily existence, Jackson left the service but not his community. With all the environmental and legal barriers Jackson has encountered for just being a gay man and veteran, he has shown traits you see in almost every veteran of entrepreneurial spirit, being a fast and lifelong learner, loyalty, integrity, and having a strong work ethic. Organizations in which Jackson is involved in, include San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus, Lambda Archives, Stonewall Citizens’ Patrol, Mama’s Kitchen’s annual Pie in the Sky, America’s Finest City Softball League, Varsity Gay League Dodge Ball, San Diego Fire Department/CERT, Gay for Good – San Diego, San Diego Pride’s build out team, and Wreaths Across America.

aTTORNEY

COMPUTER/IT sUPPORT

PUzzLE sOLUTION misTress of evil from page 13

GeNe BurKArD

Gene Burkard, originally from Sheboygan, Wisconsin, served in the US Air Force for over three years from 1950-53, which included 15 months of foreign service. During his tenure he was awarded a National Defense Service Medal and a Good Conduct Medal. Gene has lived in San Diego for over 40 years. In the early 1970s, he founded International Male — a mail-order catalogue business of men’s apparel — that became immensely popular with gay men across the United States. Gloria, a long-time friend and business collaborator of Gene’s, said, “Men felt proud to dress in a manner

that acknowledged their uniqueness and beauty.” International Male provided gay men a positive, affirming image of themselves at a time when affirmation was thin. The catalogue boasted a circulation of about two million, with outlet stores in San Diego and Los Angeles. For people born and raised after the advent of the digital age, it’s difficult to imagine the impact that International Male had on fashion, society, gay rights, and the development of social media. And as International Male grew, Gene provided employment opportunities for many members of our LGBT community. For many decades, Gene has been

a quiet but impactful financial supporter of many LGBT organizations and AIDS-service organizations, including The San Diego LGBT Community Center, Mama’s Kitchen, The AIDS Assistance Fund, and Special Delivery San Diego. He often provided seed funding for program initiatives that have been instrumental in our community. Gene lives in Mission Hills with Ron, his partner of many years. Thank you, Gene for your service to our country and for your generous support and positive impact on our LGBT community. [Contributions from the San Diego LGBT Community Center]

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18

NORTh COUNTY

November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

image from rawpixel

Sex Traffickers continues from Page 1

“When you look at the reasons that they [youth] became homeless, over 50% relate to being thrown out, not accepted by their family, and in there is a large factor of being abused at home,” Stephan said. “There is a very strong connection that when they do leave [home], they end up at close to 50% reported as being sexually exploited. Being LGBTQ is a big vulnerability factor for homelessness sadly, and a huge vulnerability factor to becoming sexually exploited.” For nearly five years, the North County LGBTQ Resource Center worked with North County Lifeline, a youth services organization through a federal grant specifically designated for the most vulnerable populations that can be exposed to possible sex trafficking, said The Center’s Executive Director Max Disposti. “We learned how collaboration with people working on the streets and destigmatizing human trafficking would be more effective than just chasing the bad guys,” Disposti said. “In the end, in catching the bad guys, the victims were not supported, became traumatized and there were no resources for them. The community that were victims, both men and women, became even more criminalized and feared to come forward against this organized crime.” Disposti said there is no black-and-white solution to the sex trafficking of youth and in the past, programs focused mostly on punishment. He said in many cases, these “bad guys” are creating environ-

ments that are attractive to people living on the streets. “Sometimes they offer you a job, a house and actually provide a kind of family that these youths have never had before,” Disposti said. “It became difficult for the police departments to know who a trafficker was and who wasn’t. It is not the typical definition of a trafficker who kidnaps a kid and then forces them to work on the streets. It wasn’t that black and white.” Stephan agreed with that sentiment and said the images people see when they think of sex trafficking are like scenes out of the movie “Taken,” where somebody is kidnapped by an international sex trafficking ring, put in a car, transported and chained up. “But the reality is that sex trafficking lies in vulnerability,” Stephan said. “One of the most critical vulnerabilities is homeless youth, [who] are running away, are placed in a position where they have to trade the only commodity they have control over, or they think they have control over, and that’s their bodies. For food, shelter, money, just to survive. It happens through a lot of subtle manipulations and deception more than it happens through direct force.” Disposti said in many cases these victims have just graduated from foster care, with little to no knowledge or experience of boundaries and relationships. “So, all of a sudden, there is someone there seemingly trying to help them. They range from ages 16-24 and they use

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them, farm them and while doing this, become their best friend,” Disposti said. “So, to the victim, they are creating a family and friendship, even when they are asked to work for them. It’s complicated. Our role is to demystify that and educate them about sex trafficking because they don’t know about it. “There is so much stigma about men in trafficking,” Disposti continued. “Some are LGBTQ, some are straight, and organized crime has much more leverage against them because they don’t want to come out. So, they have them work for them and shame them into being silent. The things they ask them to do, regardless of orientation, cross those boundaries and they become traumatized. The more they work, the more leverage traffickers have over them. They offer them drugs and things to make them cross those boundaries whether they are straight or not.” Disposti said his initial feeling on sex trafficking in North County, was that it was not happening — until they talked with kids who had started meeting at The Center. It was then that he realized that a lot of the kids, kids they serve, were commonly associated with sex traffickers. Sometimes, without them even knowing. “It was really delicate work because we had to approach them in a way that wouldn’t drive them away from The Center by asking too many personal questions,” Disposti said. “In their eyes, they were finally finding a family dynamic that they had never experienced before, being groomed to eventually become a part of human trafficking. For LGBTQ youth, what allows them to fall victim to human trafficking is the lack of conversation about boundaries and sexuality, because these kids grew up completely unaware of what healthy relationships are. Especially when they come from a family where they are not respected for being gay.” This need led to The Center’s Unicorn Homes program. Disposti said as they found people to rescue, many were transgender. He said with all the youth provider services in the county, this presented another problem, as many of these organizations did not have a space prepared to serve the transgender community. He said they all had excuses why they couldn’t help or would ask the individual to go back to their birth gender to be accepted. “With Unicorn Homes, at a certain point, it became a way for us to help not only human trafficking, but LGBTQ homelessness,” Disposti said. “We created a system because we couldn’t wait for a building [shelter] to be built. In the meantime, Unicorn Homes is a network of families that we track, we trained, who are willing to host in their homes a youth. Some for five days, some for a month, some open their homes until the youth can finish high school. We don’t shame them [host fami-

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lies] for short term because if a youth shows up at The Center on a Friday, there is no social worker, so having a safe place for them to stay for a short period keeps them off the streets immediately. This gives us time when other organizations are open to find other possibilities for these youths. It’s lifesaving to get these kids off the streets. “Unicorn Homes creates an environment where families come in, we match them with a youth and since last year, we have supported 45 homeless youth and gotten them off the streets,” Disposti continued. “In the meantime, we get them other critical services such as food stamps, mental health services, tutoring because each youth has different needs. We do this with rental assistance, deposits and other services to help them, especially if they already have jobs, but can’t afford to get their own place.” Stephan said the DA’s office approaches sex trafficking as a very complex human rights violation, and a legal violation of the laws. It utilizes a “4 P’s program.” The first P is prosecution, in which they bring a hard attack to perpetrators and hold them accountable. This is done through the Human Trafficking Task Force, a 24/7 operation. But Stephan said that they never take their eyes off the fact that it is not all about prosecution. The second P is the perception of victims; the task force is extremely victim-centered and trauma-enforced. “The DA’s office works closely with Lifeline and other providers that can specifically affirm and support whatever population the victim comes from or identifies with, so it is very affirming and uplifting for victims in the protection angle,” Stephan said. “The third P is prevention, which comes from real education and resilience-building by providing our kids a fighting chance so that they really understand that it is simply wrong to have somebody trade their bodies for a shelter or food. There are resources out there like the LGBTQ center in North County, the Unicorn Homes [program] and other organizations that stand with them and provide some of that support without asking for anything in return.” The fourth P is the partnership with the community. It is about reaching out to every community and community leaders, and gaining partnerships so kids are supported through mentorship, appropriate foster care, families, medical or mental health care. “With the LGBTQ youth, this is something I’ve really focused on seeing the very high risk and vulnerability for our children,” Stephan said. “One pivotal point for us was being able to find a former LGBTQ survivor who was willing to speak openly to law enforcement and help us to educate our task force members, prosecutors and police on what our LGBTQ community faces in terms of the barriers to reporting and for seeking help. I want everyone in our community to know that we

stand with them, respect them and that our whole team is trained. Many in our team are LGBTQ persons and they should expect that they will get the highest level of service and support. We ask for their trust and we hope to earn their trust.” Disposti said that this partnership has brought life to the victims of sexual trafficking and through it, a conversation is now on the table about why we, as a community, are failing victims of sex trafficking. “You have this potential predator out there who has consensual sex with you but is feeding you money and things and it becomes a very toxic relationship,” Disposti said. “They only got into it, not because they like the guy, but because they needed the money. All of these factors bring lifetime repercussions.” Gregory Richardson said that The Center did wonderful things for him through Unicorn Homes as a trans man of color. “When I finally began to come out, I didn’t fully recognize my identity,” Richardson said. “I realized there was a chance for me to really explore this. However, my life at home kept me from fully being myself because I was harassed emotionally and physically for not shaving, for kissing girls, wearing suits and presenting as masculine. I secretly worked at the North County Resource Center because I wanted to learn and give as much as I could for my sameage range and to learn about the history. At my lowest point in high school, I faced a deeper abusive relationship with a partner whose own internal homophobia kept me from being out. I struggled with self-acceptance, and as many LGBTQ youth, struggled with anxiety, depression, self-harm and suicidal attempts.” Richardson said being a part of the Resource Center and an activist for people his age gave him an entirely new sense of purpose, and he “built a life out of the ashes that he had buried himself in.” “My toxic family had destroyed my sense of selfworth,” Richardson said. “So, when I was kicked out, I was completely helpless and alone. I didn’t have any other place to go. But soon, this transformed into a life that is more substantial. Then I finally reached out for help. I got another chance to make things right. I found myself humbled and overwhelmed having nice warm showers and a place to sleep. I can’t explain how positive my life has been since the Unicorn Homes program started and the support that I received. I thank the Resource Center every day for making the platform that I needed to shine.” SUPPORT UNICORN HOMES ncresourcecenter.org/unicorn-homes Sex Trafficking resources and education: sdcda.org/preventing/human-trafficking/index.html theuglytruthsd.org/ Call 1-888-3737-888 Text to BeFree (233733)

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sOUTh BaY / ENTERTaINMENT

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steve Padilla

November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

souTH bay

The mayor who came out at Pride

Left-right Officer Steve Padilla, Coronado Police Department

By Nicole Murray ramirez

(l to r) Chula Vista Councilman Steve Padilla with his daughter Ashleigh (Courtesy photos)

F

ormer police officer, Marine, mayor, and now popular Chula Vista councilman, proud father and gay Latino, Steve Padilla is one happy man who loves being a public servant for the citizens of the second-largest city in San Diego County, Chula Vista. Steve remembers his first day at elementary school in Chula Vista and growing up in the city that he loves. He proudly served in the Marine Corps and joined the Police Department after, rising to police detective handling child abuse and domestic violence cases. Steve married and had the love of his life, his daughter Ashleigh, who now works for Congressman Andy Levin, 49th District of California. For his entire life, Padilla faced conflicts with his sexual orientation and soon divorced his wife, who he now has a great relationship with. At the age of 30, he was elected to the Chula Vista City Council and served on the prestigious Board of Port Commissioners. Padilla soon established a solid record of serving the citizens of Chula Vista and was rewarded by being elected the mayor of Chula Vista.

In 2005, at the annual Stonewall Rally of San Diego Pride, he made the decision to publicly come out of the closet for the first time after discussions with then-California Assembly Speaker Toni Atkins, who introduced him as the “now openly gay mayor of Chula Vista,” which received a prolong ovation from the huge crowd. Mayor Padilla’s coming out at Pride received media attention and did not sit well with many of the conservative citizens of Chula Vista. Many political pundits agreed that his coming out had a negative affect when he was not re-elected mayor. Padilla took nearly eight years off from elected politics and spent his time helping nonprofit organizations. Padilla was urged to run for City Council and this time did so as a proud, openly gay Latino and was re-elected. He now serves as vice-chair of the prestigious California State Coastal Commission and on the Equality California Institute Board. Now, many Chula Vista citizens are urging him to run for the state Senate in 2022. And knowing Steve Padilla, he will answer their call to serve and fight for all the citizens of California.

The Santaland Diaries continues from Page 12

ings.” This will accompany “The Santaland Diaries” on most nights. It’s [written] in the form of Christmas letters people receive at the end of every year to catch them up on all the things that are going on. “This has been a really explosive year for Mrs. Dunbar,” Methvin said. “‘Season’s Greetings’ is a little more on the dark and edgy side for part of the evening, held downstairs.” “We are trying to give people more of an experiential

evening,” Methvin continued. “If you come in early, like any good boy or girl or folk that are in between, you will have the opportunity to come up and get a taste of the Santaland experience, have the opportunity to have your picture taken with Santa. ‘The Santaland Diaries’ is an hour long, and after the play you can watch ‘Season’s Greetings.’” “The Santaland Diaries” runs Nov. 21-Dec. 22. Visit diversionary.org for showtimes and ticket information.

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November 8-21, 2019 volume 1 issue 3

OUT & aBOUT

halloween in hillcrest 2019

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From Nightmare on Normal Street to Rich’s, Flicks and out on the streets of Hillcrest, people massed the streets in their most decadent and creative costumes as the neighborhood celebrated all things Halloween on Saturday, Oct. 26. (Photos by Big Mike Phillips and Albert H. Fulcher)