Tome of Culinary Concoctions: A Parody Cookbook of Fantastical Meals

Tome of Culinary Concoctions A Parody Cookbook of Fantastical Meals

Jason Ly

Tome of Culinary Concoctions A Parody Cookbook of Fantastical Meals

Copyright © 2021 Jason Ly All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Book design and illustrations by Jason Ly Edited by Lydia Finch

Contents Introduction ...................................................................................................... 7 Types of Cuisines ............................................................................................ 8 Human Cuisine ............................................................................................... 10 Elvish Cuisine ................................................................................................. 18 Dwarven Cuisine .......................................................................................... 26 Gnome Cuisine ............................................................................................... 34 Orc Cuisine ....................................................................................................... 42 Uncommon Cuisine ..................................................................................... 50 Acknowledgements ..................................................................................... 64

Introduction In a world filled with a vast number of creatures and monsters, many of us are just trying to survive. We must eat in order to survive, but who said eating couldn’t be enjoyable? This book is full of various recipes from all across the land. From stews to salads to wines, any adventurer can find this book useful in their travels. Some recipes are even versatile, easily using substitutes from one’s own area.

Are you a human who’s never had to cook a day in their life? Or perhaps you’re a gnome who’s looking for more than just the average “grass and roots” meal to satisfy your hunger. You might even be an orc who’s looking to spice up their next kill. Fear not, for we’ve created an easy layout for even the most inept cook to follow. Don’t forget to check out the “Notes” section in each recipe for tips and ideas.

Your palate does not need to be contained to your own race’s food. Explore the world of culinary concoctions and introduce your tongue to flavors you may have never imagined!

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Types of Cuisines The cuisine in the book will be divided into sections based on the race of the fantasy creature, which are color coded for your convenience. The following are the types of cuisine that can be found in the book:

Human Cuisine

Gnome Cuisine

Elvish Cuisine

Orc Cuisine

Dwarven Cuisine

Uncommon Cuisine

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Human Cuisine Humans are stubborn, determined, and adaptable creatures. They have an innate ability to thrive in a vast array of environments. They tend to hang around in groups and are social eaters. The human sense of smell is weaker than most races, thus they will eat food that isn’t considered fresh by other races. Some humans will eat almost any type of dish you serve them. Others humans are more picky eaters.

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Mysterious Bean Beverage This beverage is a sought-after drink among humans, used mainly for its ability to wake up the consumer. It’s said that the first human to have this beverage got the beans from a mysterious cloaked traveler who sold them the beans for a hefty price. Since then, we have learned the origin of the beans, but it’s more entertaining to call them mysterious.

Ingredients

1 cup water

1 handful roasted beans

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¼ cup cow’s milk

1 smidge cane sugar

Instructions 1. Place a fine cloth in a metal sieve to act as a filter.

Put this over the mug you will use for your muchneeded bean beverage.

2. Grind roasted beans into a coarse powder using a mortar and pestle (or a newfangled fancy spice grinder if you’re lucky enough to have one).

3. Place ground beans into the filter over your mug and pour a little bit of hot water onto them. Wait 30 seconds. Do this several more times until the hot water is gone and you have a wonderful steamy cup of bean juice.

4. Discard wet bean grounds.

Notes Some humans who have a sweet tooth will add a bit of sugar cane to their mysterious bean beverages. Some even add cow’s milk. Give it a try.

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Hearty Beef Stew What better way to spend a cold winter night than with a hearty, filling beef stew and family? This classic human recipe has been passed down for generations, enjoyed by any human that isn’t impartial to meat. It’s chock full of nutrients and love.

Ingredients

1 lb beef

3 carrots, sliced

1 onion, chopped

1 handful mushroom

3 potatoes, chopped

½ gal of water

2 pinches rosemary

2 sprigs thyme

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Instructions 1. In a large pot, add some oil and all the beef. Cook until browned.

2. Add chopped onion and carrot, cooking until onions are translucent. Add garlic. Cook 1-2 minutes.

3. Pour in water. Add thyme and rosemary. Bring to a boil and reduce the heat. Simmer on medium-low for 1 hour.

4. Add in chopped potatoes and cover. Simmer for 40 minutes or until you can poke the potatoes easily with an eating utensil.

5. Throw in some mushrooms for more nutrients if your human friends don’t detest them.

Notes Add some parsley on top of the bowls of stew if you want to impress your friends with how stylish your soup looks.

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Omelet: Sea Forager Special There is always a point in our adventures in which we are getting tired of stale bread and jerky yet there’s no town in sight. If you’re by the coastline then you are in luck if you follow this recipe. It has somewhat of an earthy taste.

No, we aren’t talking about the sand, we’re talking about sea plants!

Ingredients

1 handful sea sandwort

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2 duck eggs

1 sea beet

Instructions 1. Acquire your ingredients. Sea sandwort and sea beets are found in coastal areas. Sometimes they grow in sand and sometimes they grow in the rocky areas near the sand. Duck eggs are in dry areas near water. If you’re a lucky fellow you might find them around the same area where you found your sandwort or beets.

2. Cut up the sea sandwort and sea beets into small pieces with your knife. You can also use your dagger, sword, or magic if you feel so inclined. Place these aside on a cloth or in a bowl.

3. Take your trusty pan and place it over the fire.

Crack both duck eggs into the pan and swirl them around with a spatula to break up the yokes. Cook evenly until the egg is mostly solidified. Add your sea greens. Cook for another minute or so. Enjoy your tasty sea omelet.

Notes If you happen upon scurvy grass, use it. An adventurer needs their vitamins and scurvy grass has all the vitamin C you need.

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Elvish Cuisine Elves are slender, strong, and athletic creatures. Most are organized and pernickety eaters with a discerning palate.

Since most elves gravitate towards forest areas, they enjoy simple, yet sometimes bold flavors. The occasional elf enjoys a more complex spread.

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Elvish Nut Bread This nutty, aromatic loaf is an essential for traveling due to its rich nutritional value. It has an uncanny ability to restore and nourish any appetite. Although simplistic, even the highest of elves will appreciate this bread.

Ingredients

2 ¼ tsp yeast

½ cup, 1 tsp sugar cane

1 cup plant milk

4 cups flour

½ cup oil

1/2 tsp salt, powdered

1 cup bilberries

1 cup walnuts, chopped

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Instructions 1. In a large bowl, dissolve yeast and 1 teaspoon cane sugar in warmed plant milk. Let rest for 5 minutes until bubbly and foamy.

2. Add the rest of the sugar, oil, bilberries, and walnuts into the bowl. Stir until homogenous.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour and salt.

Add flour mixture to yeast mixture ¼ at a time, stirring after each addition. After all the flour has been added this way, knead the dough until smooth and elasticy. This should be done with a bit of magic as to keep hands from getting sticky dough on them.

4. Transfer dough to a bowl greased lightly with oil and cover with a damp, warm cloth.

5. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. “Punch” down dough and separate into two greased bread pans. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until beautifully golden brown.

Allow to cool before putting on a cutting board.

Notes Try to eat within 3 days unless enchanted with a “nonperishing” spell. We suggest this spell for travelers.

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Celebratory Cheese Platter It’s time to celebrate elvish style! You can’t call it a celebration without an elvish cheese platter. This platter incorporates various cheeses ranging from common to uncommon. Some are nutty while others are tangy or sharp.

Elvish crackers and complimentary fruit complete this delicious spread of creamy goodness.

Ingredients

1 pack elvish crackers

1 wedge goat cheese

1 branch blue grapes

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1 jar pepper jelly

1 wedge brie

1 wedge red cow cheese

2 sun apples, sliced

Instructions 1. Cut 1 wedge of each cheese wheel and place on a large, pristine wood cheese board. Place the brie, red cow cheese, and goat cheese in that order. Provide one cheese knife for each type of cheese.

2. Arrange elvish crackers diagonal to the cheese in rows that slightly overlap. Directly next to the cheese and crackers, place the jar of pepper jelly.

Open and place a spoon in it.

3. Finally, place the blue grapes and sliced sun apples next to the three cheeses in the last corner. Watch with incredible amounts of joy as your friends nibble on the display.

Notes The pepper jelly goes fantastic with the brie due to its spicy flavor. Also, the blue grapes do taste different than red or green grapes. It’s subtle, but trust us. We did a blind taste test.

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Magic Moonberry Wine This decadent wine is best paired with a hard, mild cheese. The celebratory cheese platter on the previous pages creates quite a delectable snack when eaten with this wine. The enchantments give any elf who drinks it a sense of calm. It is a tasty beverage that is only served on special occasions due to the limited amount of moonberries.

Ingredients

5 cup sugar cane

6 cups enchanted water

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1 bush moonberries

¼ oz yeast

Instructions 1. In a large glass container, dissolve the sugar cane in the water.

2. Add the mashed moonberries and sprinkle yeast on top but do not stir. Cover the top with a cheesecloth and let the mixture sit in a dark space for one full sun cycle.

3. Take the cloth off and stir. Replace the cloth and let sit for another sun cycle. Do this for 6 more cycles.

4. Strain into another glass container of the same size.

Fill this with more enchanted water. Leave the wine to ferment for 6 full weeks in a cool, dark place.

5. Return to the wine you nearly forgot about and pour it into yet another glass container. Seal this container for 3 days 6. Enjoy drinking the nutrient-filled moonberry wine as you contemplate your elven existence.

Notes Moonberry wine makes great gifts to humans because they get plastered from just a few sips. It’s fun to watch them fumble around.

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Dwarven Cuisine Dwarves are crafty, strong, and hard-nosed creatures. Having been raised underground, they have developed an incredible ability to distinguish even the slightest taste, smell, and texture of their food. This results in somewhat bland, but delicious food. Interestingly, they enjoy the taste of some dirts due to their minerals. Because they have iron stomachs, they can eat food which would seem toxic to other races such as cave spiders and certain mushrooms like the angel of death. Their heightened sense of taste forces them to use only the cleanest of cave water for their meals.

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Spider Mushroom Soup The spider mushroom soup is a common staple for dwarves. The ingredients can be found in nearly every dwarven household. Depending on the spider’s secretions the taste of the soup can vary. Spiders give the soup a bit of crunch while mushrooms give it a complimentary chewy texture.

Ingredients

2 potatoes, chopped

1 salt crystal, crushed

3 onions, halved

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1 bucket cave water

3 cloves garlic, smashed

3 pieces mushrooms

1 cave spider

Instructions 1. Heat up pot over open flame. Place spider in pot; sprinkle crushed salt crystal on top. Cook until dark brown and crispy, 3-4 minutes. Pour in a bucket of water. There will be steam on your face.

2. Add mushrooms and halved onions; cook and stir over hot flames until tender, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and chopped potatoes; cook 2 minutes more.

Stir occasionally for 40 minutes.

3. Remove soup from heat. Let stand, 10-15 minutes.

Your tongue is important and not worth burning over hot soup. Make sure to separate cooked spider into each serving.

4. Pour soup into a bowl. If desired, adjust seasoning with additional salt and crushed pepper kernels.

Notes If not serving right away, it’ll thicken as it sits. This is due to the occasional spider ooze (depending on the cave spider species). If desired, stir in up to 1 half bucket of additional water if it gets too thick.

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Beloved Gravy Beloved gravy is a basic dwarven recipe that can be modified to any household’s taste. It goes great with all forms of meat as it can use any meat. When we say any, we mean any. Do you have a random chicken or a cave spider you’ve recently slain? Perfect, you can use that for this versatile recipe.

Ingredients

1 handful meat drippings

3 cloves garlic

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1 smidge flour

1 cup water

3 peppercorn, crushed

1 pinch salt

Instructions 1. Cover the meat you’ll use for the main meal so it stays warm (and to keep the small children’s hands off it).

2. Pour most of the meat drippings into a bowl (leave a handful in the catching pot). Toss in flour and stir.

3. Cook over a low fire until smooth and bubbly; remove from the heat. Stir in preferred liquid (meat juice, cave water, broth from the market, etc.).

4. Put pot back over the fire until boiling. Stir constantly, lest you burn your beloved gravy.

5. Continue to cook for 1-2 minutes and take off the fire. Pour over whatever meat you’re serving today.

Alternatively, you can pour it into a stone bowl like the one pictured.

Notes A creamy alternative: replace half of your liquids with any kind of animal milk.

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Thornbee Honey Mead Honey Mead is a simple yet incredibly tasty alcoholic beverage. It’s popular among dwarves as well as humans. It has a sweet aroma and bubbly texture. Even poorly made mead tastes good, so this recipe will be hard to mess up.

Ingredients

1 part raw thornbee honey

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3 parts water

1 handful wild fruit

1 pinch cinnamon

Instructions 1. Take a large glass container with a cover and add 1 part raw honey and 3 parts water. Mix until honey is completely dissolved.

2. Add in fruit and spices if wanted. Mead tastes fantastic without these, so they aren’t needed, but the cook might have more refined tastes. Shake the vessel with all the ingredients inside and seal it off.

3. Open the container after 1 week of fermentation.

Pour into large mugs and enjoy during a feast.

Notes Be careful acquiring the thornbee honey if you are doing it yourself. We hear the thornbees can be quite sharp.

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Gnome Cuisine Gnomes are small, creative creatures. You’ll likely find them living underground and enjoying a nice earthy meal.

Gnomes are social eaters who love eating multicourse meals. Most gnomes are content with living simple lives and eating simple diets.

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Delightful Pumpkin Cheesecake Pumpkin cheesecake is a tough but rewarding dessert in gnome society. Your friends will love you and likely help you with making this. With a wonderful flavor of pumpkin and rare creamed cheese, it is sure to be gone before night falls.

Ingredients

3 cups pumpkin flesh

¼ cup goat butter, melted

3 blocks cream cheese

1 cup + 2 tbsp sugar cane

1 tsp cinnamon, ground

1 ¼ cup cookie crumbs

4 chicken eggs

6 walnuts, halved

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Instructions 1. Heat gnome oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Mix snap cookie crumbs and goat butter. Press evenly on the bottom of those fancy metal pans where the sides come off. Bake for 10 minutes and cool.

2. Reduce oven temperature 50 degrees. Using a fork, beat the creamed cheese, 1 cup sugar cane, and spices in a medium bowl until smooth and fluffy.

You might want to enlist your friends help.

3. Add the mashed pumpkin flesh. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating in thoroughly. I assure you the dead feeling in your arms is worth this delicious cheesecake. Pour your beaten mixture over the cookie crumbs in the pan. Bake in oven for an hour.

4. Cook and stir 2 teaspoons of sugar cane and walnuts over hot embers until sugar is melted and nuts are coated. Spread this over a smooth plate to cool.

5. Once cheesecake is done cooking, arrange the sweetened walnuts over the top.

Notes You can share your delicious cheesecake with your pumpkin-loving friends.

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Roasted Garden Veggies A common, satisfying meal among any gnome family. This earthy vegetable medley has notes of nutty flavor followed by the naturally sweet taste of beets. It’s perfect for a family of five. We suggest these four vegetables in particular but, really, anything can be used. The earth apples, however, are a must. No vegetable medley is complete without them. Go plant some if you don’t already have them in the communal garden.

Ingredients

1 turnip, chopped

1 parsnip, sliced

3 earth apples, chopped

2 beets, sliced

1 splash cooking oil

1 bucket water

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Instructions 1. Heat gnome oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Clean your vegetables in a nearby stream or bucket of water. You don’t want actual earth in your vegetable roast.

3. Chop up all the veggies into medium sized chunks.

Place in the largest bowl from the kitchen and toss then with a splash of oil.

4. Dump your coated veggies onto a clean slate for cooking. Spread them out evenly.

5. Bake veggie medley until soft and crispy. This usually takes about 40 minutes.

Notes Cook time may vary depending on the cook’s preference for veggies. Longer times means softer but potentially crispier veggies. Shorter times mean harder but more “crunchy” veggies.

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Wild Salad with Weichen Tree Rolls Weichen tree rolls are soft, mildly grassy tasting rolls made from the weichen tree. Weichen trees are characterized by their soft, dark green bark and pristine white leaves. The leaves have a sour taste to them. If one is lucky, they might find some seeds from the tree, which are similar to creamy acorns.

Ingredients

1 bowl dandelions

5 strips weichen bark

1 handful weichen seeds

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3 handfuls weichen leaves

1 handful squash blossoms

Instructions 1. Gather your weichen tree bark first. When procuring the strips, take a sharp knife at an angle and scrape down the tree. The soft bark should curl in on itself, creating a spiral roll. You now have your weichen tree roll. We recommend only taking 5 from each tree out of respect. Gather the rest of the weichen related ingredients and head back to the kitchen.

2. Crack open the weichen tree seeds with a rock.

Pluck out the creamy pale green seed on the inside and throw into the bowl of dandelions. This process may take a while. Be careful not to hit your fingers or send the seeds flying as you hit them.

3. Put the rest of the ingredients in the bowl with the dandelions. Toss the salad together and enjoy your crunchy, creamy plants. Eat your tree rolls occasionally as you chow down on the salad.

Notes Gnomes don’t partake in “dressings” on salads and tend to prefer the natural taste of each plant.

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Orc Cuisine Orcs are large, fierce, and unruly creatures. They aren’t known for great cuisine due to the fact that they eat whatever comes across their path, whether it’s an animal in the woods or a poor human caught in a raid. Orcs prefer raw foods, but cooking is appreciated from time to time. Their abilities to taste amino acids allows them to enjoy foods that are thrown out by other races, such as liver, blood, and brains. Orcs believe that the food they eat gives them the strengths it contains. For example, if an orc eats a human who was agile, then the orc will be agile after consuming their tasty flesh. In dire times, nothing is out of the question as they will eat their own kind.

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Tender Stewed Warriors A tender, delectable stew made from the mightiest fallen enemies. “Mightiest” is subject for each orc. Perhaps your warrior was mighty for their raw strength or they may have been the fastest in battle. For anyone not an Orc, it is difficult to cultivate and prepare the meat.

Ingredients

2 blooded and gutted humans

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1 salt crystal, crushed

1 bucket water

Instructions 1. Carve the human carcass with your trusty cleaver.

Chop the carved meat into stew sized chunks.

2. Add meat chunks to the stone pot and put over a roaring fire. Bring to a boil and then bring it down to a simmer by taking away a few logs from the fire.

Throw in the crushed salt crystal and swirl the pot.

Let cook for 1 ½ hours.

3. Share your powerful stew with your favorite orc if you’re feeling generous.

Notes If more flavor is preferred, add spices or some of the leftover human blood. It can give it quite the irony taste.

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Charred Mountain Golem Heart Mountain golem heart is exactly what it sounds like: the heart of a mountain golem. While other races could potentially eat mountain golem hearts, they don’t find them very appetizing. The charred heart has a smoky taste as well as a crispy outer layer of membrane. This membrane looks similar to a rock, but do not be fooled.

Ingredients

1 mountain golem heart

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1 salt crystal, crushed

1 peppercorn, crushed

Instructions 1. Skewer the golem heart on a nice, pointy stick. A strong stick without bark is preferable but one with bark will work. Gently rub salt and pepper into the heart. Due to the nature of golem hearts, it should absorb it.

2. Hold the heart on a stick over a medium sized fire.

You’ll want to be just at the top of the flames so you can get that charred skin. Turn occasionally. The process is very similar to how humans cook those tiny sugar pillows.

3. Once the heart is blackened and no longer dripping bits of blood, it’s ready. You can eat it right off the stick, so chomp into that crispy, nutritious goodness.

Notes Be careful when you take your first bite as some excess blood might squirt out. It’s tasty, but incredibly hot.

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Cured Monster Scorpion Monster scorpions are hard to defeat due to the fact that they spit venom and have giant stingers on their tails that can easily kill the unwitting adventurer. Orcs seem to have a knack for defeating them, however. Scorpion meat is very soft whether it’s cooked or not. This recipe is great for an adventurer that doesn’t need to worry about cooking their meats.

Ingredients

1 monster scorpion

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3 buckets salt crystals

Instructions 1. Chop the monster scorpion into medium-sized chunks. They should be about the size of an orc’s hand. Remove any hard outer shell from the scorpion – this has almost no nutritional value.

Divide the scorpion into even piles of three.

2. Fill one bucket 1/3 of the way with salt. Add a piece of meat. Pour more salt over the meat. This should be entirely covered. Repeat until the bucket is full of salt and meat. Do this same process for each of the other buckets and piles of meat. Wait one day and night before disturbing them.

3. Once it has been a full day and night, take out the pieces of meat and wrap them in cheese cloth. Place these in your pack and wait at least two weeks before eating. Once the two weeks is up, you can eat them raw – no cooking required.

Notes Technically orcs can just eat the monster scorpion raw, but this process keeps the meat from rotting. This process can be used for other kinds of meat at well.

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Uncommon Cuisine There are foods in the world that even an orc wouldn’t dare eat. Some of these foods are specific to certain regions, some aren’t very popular, and some are just outright dangerous. Either way, they have been included here due to their scrumptious uniqueness.

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Dragon Stew Dragon stew is a stew with rich flavors and nutrients. It is said to have magical properties that can cure any illness. The most daunting thing about the stew is its sheer difficulty to craft. This stew requires precise timing and measuring, but the most importantly, obtaining a dragon’s tail.

Ingredients

¼ dragon tail

3 cloves garlic, crushed

4 carrots, chopped

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1 onion, chopped

1 sun apple, chopped

1 bucket water

1 splash cooking, oil

Instructions 1. Remove the dragon scales and skin from the tail.

Watch out for any spikes protruding off the tail.

These spikes can contain magic, so you will add them to the soup later. Remove any bone but set aside for broth in future recipes. Cut the meat into stew-sized cubes.

2. In a large pot over a medium fire, add cooking oil, chunks of onion, and crushed garlic. Cook until onions are slightly translucent. Add meat. Cook meat until browned on all sides. Add carrots and water. Cover pot and cook for 30 minutes.

3. After 30 minutes have passed and stew is boiling, skim the fat off the top. There may not be much as dragon meat tends to be lean. Add potatoes and sun apple. Top off with more water if needed. Simmer without a cover for 30 more minutes.

4. Serve hot over a small dragon spike inside to enhance the flavor.

Notes Don’t overcook the dragon meat or it’ll become tough.

This meat is rich, soft, and delicate but worth the effort.

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Glowing Mushroom Gravy This type of mushroom gravy is unique due to their use of glowing mushrooms. These mushrooms can only be found in deep, dark caves. Although easy to make, it may take some effort in obtaining the ingredients. The texture is somewhat slimey but the taste is extravagant.

Ingredients

1 slimeroot, powdered

1 bucket glowing mushrooms

1 splash oil

1 cup snow wine

1 sprig rosemary

1 bit slime paste

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Instructions 1. Chop up glowing mushroom into slices. In a large sized pan, toss the oil and mushrooms together, cooking until a sweet aroma fills the air. The mushrooms will shrink and turn from blue to purple but should continue to glow.

2. Add bit of slime paste and stir around the pan until melted. Add slime root powder and cook for another three minutes.

3. Once the powdered root has been cooked, add your favorite grassy herbs and cup of snow wine. The gravy will bubble violently, and the mushrooms should sound as though they are screaming. Don’t mind this.

4. Wisk the screaming gravy until it has calmed down.

Cover and simmer for 5-10 minutes. When you lift the cover, you should have a beautiful gravy that’s glowing with pinks, blues, and purples.

Notes Snow wine can be easily obtained from traveling Elvish merchants. Their secrets on how to create the wine remains unknown. Tongue may glow after eating.

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Volcanic Lava Rock Bites These fiery rock bits are a delicious snack for certain creatures, similar to popcorn! This recipe is easy to make – if you’re a dragon or other kind of creature that can handle the heat! This uncommon cuisine requires the cook to gather lava rocks from volcanic eruptions or land where the floor is literally lava. Try to get some lava for seasoning. It adds a bit of kick.

Ingredients

2 slabs volcanic rock

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1 cup hot lava

1 handful minerals

Instructions 1. Break slabs of volcanic rock into bit sized pieces.

You can do this with your hands or a hammer.

Rub down any sharp edges – you don’t want to cut yourself on your snack. Set rock pieces in a metal pot and rest over embers to keep warm.

2. Set your container of hot lava on an obsidian countertop as not to ruin the kitchen. Grab a mixture of your favorite mineral bits (iron and salt are our favorites, but you might prefer gold or potassium). Mix these into the lava. The mixture will bubble. Keep other races away from counter so they won’t get burned. Keep stirring until bubbling calms down.

3. Mix lava sauce with volcanic rock bits. You may want to add less than the full amount.

4. Enjoy hot so the lava doesn’t harden.

Notes Enchant your pot to stay hot after removing it from the embers to enjoy your Lava Rock Bites even longer.

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Leviathan Patties Leviathans are monstrous creatures that can wreak havoc on nearby coastal cities and coral reefs. By slaying leviathans for their meat, you’ll be saving people, but more importantly, sea life. Leviathan meat is somewhat fatty, making it great for this patty recipe. The patties are juicy and, if done correctly, so soft that it practically melts in your mouth. The meat is something of a cross between cattle and dragons in terms of taste.

Ingredients

8 baked buns, sliced

1 lb leviathan meat

1 salt crystal, crushed

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1 clove garlic, crushed

1 handful greens

Instructions 1. Cut the leviathan meat into large chunks. Pass these chunks through a meat grinder 2-3 times. You should now have ground leviathan meat.

2. Massage garlic cloves and salt crystal into the meat. Form large patties. Place into a hot pan over medium heat. Flip when the underside of the meat has turned a dark purple. This should take 3-4 minutes per side.

3. Place cooked patties onto fresh baked open buns.

Add greens of your choice. Enjoy.

Notes Leviathans are huge creatures, so it’s best to share your bounty with the entire town. That, or sell it for a hefty profit. Also, some people will melt cheese onto the patty as well. Try this for a creamier leviathan patty.

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Lively Leviathan Soup Leviathans are huge and you’re not going to be able to use the entirety of it into just one recipe. This lively leviathan soup gets its name from the tentacles. They can move and wiggle around after being chopped off the main part of the monster, searching for the ocean to be reborn. Despite the dangers, this soup can be worth it.

The mix of onion and garlic provides an aromatic, complex taste when mixed with the leviathan.

Ingredients

6 Leviathan tentacle tips

2 tbsp cooking oil

1 onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, crushed

1 salt crystal, crushed

1 bucket water

2 carrots, chopped

5 mushrooms, chopped

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Instructions 1. In a large pot, add some oil and the leviathan tentacles. Sear the tentacles. They might wiggle around, this is normal. Don’t let them escape the pot.

2. Add onions, carrots, and mushrooms, cooking until onions are translucent. Throw in the crushed garlic.

3. The tentacles should stop moving by now but if they don’t you can hold a lid on top until the boiling is done.

4. Boil soup for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add salt near the end.

Notes If the leviathan tentacles get away, it can form a new leviathan. You’ll potentially horrify the townspeople by letting a leviathan tentacle worm its way down the street.

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Creamy Storm Smoothy Storm smoothies are an acquired taste. Unless one is a mage or creature with a magic core, they don’t merit good nutritional value. They’re more of a dessert similar to ice cream. They’re creamy but have an underlying taste that one can only describe as the essence of a storm. Of course, they do contain the essence of a storm. It’s one of the reasons this delicacy is so rare.

Ingredients

1 essence of storm, bottled

1 cup ice-cold cream

1 vanilla bean

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1 dash cacao powder

½ cup sugar cane, liquified

Instructions 1. Put the bottled essence of storm in a freezer box for at least 1 hour.

2. In a metal container with a screw-on lid, pour the ice-cold cream, cacao, vanilla bean, and liquid sugar.

Twist the cap on and shake. Place in freezer box.

3. Every hour, take the metal container out and scrape down the sides with a spoon. Put the cap back on and shake. After 3 or 4 times, you should have ice cream.

4. Very carefully pour the bottled essence of storm into the metal vessel. Twist the cap on and shake vigorously. The storm should homogenize with the cream, creating a smoothie consistency while keeping the storm from exploding.

5. Pour into your favorite drink container and enjoy.

Notes The essence of a storm can be finicky. There’s a chance it might escape when you’re trying to pour it from the bottle, so we suggest freezing it first. There have been many a tale of kitchens being destroyed by them.

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Acknowledgement Thank you to my family and friends that inspired and motivate me everyday. This book wouldn’t have been possible without you!

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A New World of Food Did you know that orcs will eat practically anything or that elves are fans of cheese?

Gnomes eat all sorts of wild plants and dwarves love their cave spiders. All types of foods are eaten by every fantasy race, but each tends to have their favorites. From hearty beef stew to glowing mushroom gravy, nothing is off the table in the world of fantasy. Tome of Culinary Concoctions is a cookbook full of deliciously weird recipes.

So, sit down with a mysterious bean beverage or nibble on some elvish nut bread while you browse through this fantasy world’s collection of favorites.

Please note that while sometimes based on common recipes, this cookbook is only for reading. The recipes are not to be consumed by this world’s human population.