Exploring Human Connection: the 70s, 80s, and 90s

1970 1980 1990 EXPLORING HUMAN CONNECTION the 70s, 80s, and 90s WRITTEN BY EMMA ANDERSON

Exploring Human Connection the 70s, 80s, and 90s

Copyright Š 2020 by Emma T. Anderson All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission of the copyright owner except for the use of quotations in a book review.

Book design and photography by Emma T. Anderson Published by BookBaby Publishing www.bookbaby.com

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TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION

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SECTION ONE Chapter One: Introduction Chapter Two: Adele Anderson Chapter Three: Mark Hainsey

10 12 24

SECTION TWO Chapter Four: Introduction Chapter Five: Maura Harrison Chapter Six: Allen Harrison

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SECTION THREE Chapter Seven: Introduction Chapter Eight: Katy McAskill Chapter Nine: Valerie Danielson

66 68 82

SECTION FOUR Chapter Ten: Conclusion

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Table of Contents

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Dedicated to my parents and siblings. I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere without them.

Dedication

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INTRODUCTION Human connection. What is it exactly? To me, it is the most important concept to know and practice in the world. This type of connection is essential to a good life even though we disregard it all too often. I believe there is a lack of human connection now because of the internet and virtual connections. We are so focused on our virtual personas that we neglect our actual physical selves. As human beings, we are gifted with minds and bodies that think and move with free will. We have the ability to show emotions and encounter others’ emotions. Something as simple as smiling at a couple or saying hello to a baby at the store is enough to make you thankful that you have human connection. We often forget just what a gift this is.

Let’s think about the concept in a physical sense.

Things like hugging and shaking hands are highly valued. In recent months, humanity has learned just how important that last hug can be. The 2020 COVID-19 pandemic has caused in person connection to be suppressed. As the world struggles with sickness, we also are suffering from our need to connect with others.

But this is not the only way we are losing that human connection. Growing up in the 21st century, I have observed my generation closely. We expect so much and give so little. I see friends whine about things they don’t have and yet they don’t do anything about it. We ignore others because we are too focused on ourselves. Our question is always,

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Introduction

“How can I look better or be more successful?” There has been an increase in disregard for parents and elders too. Additionally, the older generations ignore the younger generations. Both sides are always asking, “What could they know about my life? How would they know what I’m going through?” It is simple. We all in some shape or form go through the same situations or similar circumstances. In fact, I have experienced this when talking to people from previous generations where they provided relevant advice.

I’ve thought about this concept for a while now and I want to revive human connection. I want to give people something to experience and desire in their lives. I’ve asked myself, “How can I bring humanity back to its roots? What can I do to make my generation and even other generations understand that connection with others is what we should value most?”

What if I got in contact with people from past decades like the 70s, 80s, and 90s and interviewed them? I could restore that connection at least for myself and those I interviewed. I could connect these generations with my own. That’s when this book concept came into being.

I love the history of the 70s, 80s, and 90s because the way people lived seemed much simpler and I wish my generation had that simplicity. Whenever I encounter someone who lived during those times, they always get a smile on their face as if they miss it. If I could

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show the similarities between these generations and my own, I could help the older and younger generations respect one another.

In this book, I represent Gen Z and the people I connect with throughout the following chapters represent previous decades. The people I chose all reflect on their teenage years so that current teenagers can more easily find resemblance to their own lives.

The interviews are conversational. The more the interviewees reminisce, the more I connect with them. Recalling memories with someone is beautiful.

Moments like these allow us to come closer to the heart of someone. The memories that these people made influence me. And this influence is what I value and what I hope to inspire others to value.

If I can make one person understand this gift, I call that a success.

Introduction

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Introduction

70s 80s

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SECTION ONE: 1970s CHAPTER ONE

Introduction

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CHAPTER TWO

Adele Anderson

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CHAPTER THREE

Mark Hainsey

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Introduction

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INTRODUCTION Ah, the 70s, what a time to be alive. What is the first thing you think of when you hear “the 70s”? Is it the fashion? Music? I know bell-bottoms crossed your mind. Yeah, go ahead and double check my age from the back cover. That is fair. How could I know what the 70s were like if I haven’t experienced them? My parents were born in the 60s so once the 70s rolled around, they were teenagers. They had firsthand experience of the decade. So, while I haven’t directly experienced the 70s, I have an inside scoop.

My 70s influence was and still is the music, especially one particularly bittersweet song. When I was nine, my mom’s dad, Pop Pop, passed away from cancer. It

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Introduction

was the first time I experienced death, and I had been really close to him. I had a hard time accepting it especially because he was such a sweet, calm man who had brought me peace. Suddenly I had to grasp the fact that he would not ever be coming to see me again. Once he passed, I tried to hold on to memories I had of him.

The most important memory I have was how much he loved to sing. He loved musicals like the 1960s The Music Man. I remember watching the film many times when I was younger and being reminded of him.

I could imagine him humming along to all the songs.

When I was a teenager, my mom got a CD from my grandma, featuring Pop Pop singing a bunch of his

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favorite songs. I couldn’t believe that after so many years I could hear that sweet voice again. There was one song he did not sing on the CD and to this day, I wish he had.

Bridge Over Troubled Water was the title of both the album and the song released by Simon & Garfunkel in 1970. The song was a fan favorite for its well written lyrics and heartfelt tune.

Before Pop Pop passed away, my mom told me that he liked this particular song that my own dad happened to play a lot. She would pipe up every time this played and say, “Oh yeah Emma, Pop Pop always liked this song. This was one of his favorites.” A few years after my grandpa’s death, I heard that song. I remember the moment quite vividly. My dad had just dropped off one of my older siblings at college. We were driving back home, and I was in the backseat. My dad popped in the CD and the first track played. It was getting dark. I recall it was raining too. As I was staring out the window, not speaking, the song began. The piano intro immediately gave me goosebumps, and the singer started in a soft voice. It was the first time I really heard the lyrics and understood them. The song was about being there for someone through rough times and each word echoed in my head. At that moment, I felt tears prick my eyes. I was overcome with as much emotion as a child can have. While my dad drove, I reminisced, tears falling.

While the 70s were influential in many ways, this five-minute song that was released in the first year of the decade means the world to me. This song has become my refuge and greatest 70s influence. I don’t think I will ever hear it without thinking of my Pop Pop.

Fast forward to my college years. I was living alone in a one room apartment, and it was around midnight.

Pop Pop’s anniversary appeared on my Facebook, and I recalled the song again. In memory of him, I opened my music app and played the song a few times. While I was living alone, I still felt that he was nearby, and I remember being comforted by this feeling.

Introduction

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CHAPTER 2

ADELE ANDERSON 12

Adele Anderson

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Even though she is my mother and she tells stories about her past all the time, I knew there was more I could find out and connect with her at a deeper level. During the interview she was able to show me a new side of her and I valued that. Here is her perspective from the 70s:

Adele Anderson

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Adele Anderson

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SOCIETY Roanoke felt like it was a big city because around it everything else was smaller. It was too big for its britches or at least that was my parents view of it.

We followed clothing norms. I remember wallabee shoes and the rolled up straight leg jeans after the bell-bottom time was over. Izod shirts with the little alligator logo became really big. It was very preppy.

We wore straight skirts and tennis shoes or something like little sneakers.

My family had such strong standards within the family that it’s hard for me to know what the standards were outside of that. We were held to a pretty strict moral behavioral code. But even in my school–though it was a very small school–there was drinking and there were drugs. I think it was kind of hush hush; like people knew it was going on, but no one talked about it. Nowadays, people talk about these societal issues, whereas then you just didn’t talk about any of it. Parents would let their kids have parties in the basement doing things they shouldn’t be doing according to my family’s moral code. I would get invited to these gatherings and see what was going on and no parent came to check on us: “They’re home.

They’re safe. Let them do whatever they want.”

FAMILY I had four siblings. I had a brother, Vinny. Everybody in the family loved Vinny. He was fun and carefree, which I wasn’t. It was very appealing to me to be carefree like that. I have this great memory of spending time with Adele Anderson

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him. Carol, the sister below me, had gone to a party way far away, and it took a while to get there. Vinny was a junior in high school, and he owned a black Volkswagen bug. Oh, we all loved that car! He had to go pick Carol up from this party, and it had snowed so there was a white snowy view to look at. I went with him because I wanted to hang out with Vinny. So, we hopped in that bug.

So, there was all this snow, and Vinny was being the carefree brother he is, he was flying through the roads in this little bug, and I was just as happy as lark. We got to the party, and Carol had friends with her that she wanted him to take home. The VW was very small, and I was already taking a seat, so she complained, “Why did Adele have to come? Didn’t you know I needed room for my friends?” I didn’t care. I was like, “Whatever, too bad,” and I guess everyone piled into the back seat. Nobody at that time wore seat belts.

In the 70s, not a single person worried about a seat belt; you crammed as many people in who needed to go somewhere.

I also looked up to my father a lot. He was intelligent and thoughtful. He was a big thinker. In high school, there was a community college that hosted scientific talks nearby, and I would take my dad with me. I felt like he was a good man.

Adele attended the Governor’s School for the Gifted in 1979.

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Adele Anderson

Extended family lived in Pittsburgh. We’d originally come from Pittsburgh. When cousins would come to visit, I always wanted the girl cousin around my age to become my best friend. We would become pen

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pals for a while, and then that would fade away after six months. Some of my cousins were big literary people, and I wanted to be a literary person whether I was or not. They introduced me to Jane Austen, and that’s how I found out about her books. I also was a big bookworm, and my favorite book was Tess of the d’Urbervilles. It was a deep and dark plot. I don’t feel like that’s my personality, but I really like those melancholic stories and I think they really show human nature.

COOL EXPERIENCES The most popular spot was the Star City of the South.

It was up on a mountain and Roanoke was in a valley.

They had built a star that lit up every night and they called it the Star City of the South. That was a place where people could go. I think there was a zoo and different little sites to see out there.

Adele was in multiple plays in high school.

As a family, we took yearly trips to Pittsburgh and going into the city is [sic] pretty amazing when you’re growing up. I mean we were the typical tourists always putting our heads up, looking at the tall buildings, gawking, and people would pass by minding their business, just doing their jobs. I would always get excited because we’d go to basement sales. So, we would go into really nice department stores and go into the basement. In the basement, we would find all the clothing sales. I would always buy myself a little something with money from babysitting. I always enjoyed that.

Adele Anderson

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Adele Anderson

70s 80s We did go to Florida from time to time to visit my grandparents and we would go to Disney World, but I have very few memories of that. I remember I did get an autograph book with Tinkerbell on it. Every time I went to Pittsburgh for a family reunion, I would bring it with me because I wanted to have my cousins sign it.

FRIENDS My best friend through grade school would have been Karen. Her parents were straight from Germany and had left, I think, during the war. She was fluent in German as were her parents. Whenever I went over for a sleepover and we would be eating dinner, the family would be speaking in German the whole time. I never had any idea what they were saying. They were serious people, and Karen was a serious person, but we got along really well. She liked embroidery and sewing and so did I. She would’ve been [sic] my best friend until high school. Then I separated from her because I got silly about boys and she did not. So, I was done with her. By ninth grade, Sylvia became [sic] my best friend, and we probably didn’t have much in common, but we palled around together.

SOCIAL LIFE In high school, I didn’t go out much. I never felt comfortable hanging out in groups. I was silly about guys, but I wasn’t a gossip, and I wasn’t popular. So whenever I was in a group, I felt left out. I went to parties sometimes that kids from my school would

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throw at their house. I was always a very optimistic person. I always thought, “This will be the party where I find my soulmate,” when I knew everybody from my school. Or I would think that something really fun would happen; it never did for me. I wasn’t going to drink or do drugs at the parties, so I was always just an observer, and it was always uncomfortable. One party I did get up on the fireplace step with two other girls and sang my heart out. That night I was determined to have a good time.

“You wore long gowns that weren’t that fancy, and the guys got these hideous tuxedos...”

I did date though. I went on individual dates to dances at school. Oftentimes, there was a dance at school like a prom or even the fall formal or the spring formal. I was almost always asked to those dances by somebody in my class. I never cared for the person that asked me, but I did get asked and I’d go. You wore long gowns that weren’t that fancy, and the guys got these hideous tuxedos with ruffled shirts that had the color of the tuxedo on the ruffle.

Adele Anderson

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My first relationship started when I was a sophomore.

I went to visit my friend Ann at her house and met her brother, Brian, who was visiting from the local college. Things started between us. He liked me, and I definitely liked him. For about two months we dated, and he took me out to see movies or other normal dates. Brian ended up ditching me because I think he got tired of me. I remember going up to the Star on the mountain with him alone.

I dated another guy for a summer named Dean. At the time, I was working for a music store that hosted an event where musical artists could come and play their instruments for as long as possible. Dean participated in it, and I noticed he was cute. We got to talking and went out to dinner at a Pizza Hut and ended up dating. He took me out all the time, but nothing ever really progressed. He was a perfect gentleman. The dating experience was very different from today. My perspective was, “You’re going to pick me up. You are going to take me out. You’re going to pay.” I feel like that isn’t a strong desire or need [sic] in today’s culture. We did only date one person at a time. If you went out with multiple people at once, you were two-timing. We saw dating as a temporary permanent situation.

MUSIC

Adele and her friend Joe were President and Vice President of the student council.

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Adele Anderson

I liked the Bee Gees and this [sic] was prior to their disco days. They had some great music. I liked America and John Denver as well. I went to a John Denver concert one time, which was fun, but it wasn’t

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like concerts today. You had to sit in an arena and clap at the end of songs. It was more of a performance than a concert really. I remember being a John Denver fan, and it was only John Denver for me. One of my older brothers or sisters brought home an America album, and I said I wouldn’t like it because it wasn’t John Denver. I couldn’t like it. They started playing it, and it took me a little while before I started really enjoying it. That was when my musical vista started to open. I went to a Doobie Brothers concert as well which was the more traditional stand up and cheer concert.

Andy Gibb was my favorite celebrity at the time. I would wait for the Thursday newspaper that had the entertainment section, in hopes that there would be a photo of him. I was in love with Andy Gibb. He had flowy long blond hair. He was a handsome man, and I was just completely in love with him. It was a total idol thing. There was nothing beyond his looks that intrigued me. He was adorable.

TRENDS

One of Adele’s many high school dance dates.

Near the end of my high school years, chewing tobacco was a big trend, especially with guys. Here we were in Southwestern Virginia with a bunch of chewers. In fact, one time I went out with a guy to a Sadie Hawkins dance, which is basically when the girl asks the guy to a dance. I asked this guy out that I had known for a long time, and he said yes. He came with an empty soda can in his hand and chew in his jaw when he picked me up. We got in the back seat of the car with another couple in the front and he’s spitting Adele Anderson

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his chew juice into the can as we go to the dance.

I don’t think I gave him a kiss that night probably.

Girls wanted to dress like women. I feel like now women want to dress more like girls, but then we wanted to look as mature as possible. I know I wanted to dress like a woman. When I was a senior, I got invited to this New Year’s Eve party at my friend Joe’s house. I got a nice pair of black slacks and a silky blouse which made me feel very grown up, very much like a woman. Once I got there all the girls were in jean skirts and these gorgeous Fair Isle sweaters and their little button-down collared shirts underneath.

Both of these styles were huge, and I was totally out of place. I do remember a guy did compliment me on my blouse. Nonetheless I ended up going to wherever my sister Carol was babysitting at the time and boohooed about how we had no date.

NEWS

Adele and her friends going to see a movie in 1978.

The news that was big during that time was the Iran hostage crisis where Iranians took twenty hostages.

That was a big deal, but I was really provincial. I didn’t care about the world in the larger perspective. I was very much in my own head. Some of my friends cared, but the majority were also in their own heads as high schoolers.

GOALS & DREAMS My biggest dream was to get married. I felt like I needed someone to love me, so I wanted a husband.

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Adele Anderson

70s 80s I cared so much about what everyone thought of me, even strangers. I wanted to go to college, and I was a valedictorian in my class which is not that much of a success since my high school was pretty small. I was a good student and pretty intelligent. I was not the smartest kid in my class, but I knew how to study.

“In the 70s, anybody you had to speak to, you had to do it in person...”

OVERALL 70S PERSPECTIVE The 70s still had the flavor of gender roles. I tended to keep that influence in my life, and I believe that, in some ways, the roles were good. Life was much simpler. People understood the different roles in various forms of life whether in the workplace or at home. It doesn’t mean it was necessarily better for everyone, but it was better for me. It might have not been so good for others.

The 70s were tacky, but if you look at the lifestyle, it was about peace and everything is chill; even though there were [sic] major political stuff going on. But it was still this kind of easy, everybody is doing their own thing.

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VIEW ON HUMAN CONNECTION It’s still important to have a physical connection with people. In the 70s, anybody you had to speak to, you had to do it in person or on the phone where you can hear a person’s voice. That’s it. There was no other way. Now there are all of these artificial ways where you don’t hear the person’s voice and you don’t see the person’s face. There’s so much to be said about that. We are losing human connection through our own fault or not. The 70s was much more connected.

FAVORITE MEMORY I lived on a street where houses were close together.

There were yards between them, but they were blocks of yards. And every house had trees–like maple trees–that weren’t all grown up, so you could still see other people’s homes. So, when it would snow, the sky would get that dark rosy gray color at night. Each porch would have their porch lights on which were the old yellow lights that were so warm. The snow would come down, and the coloring was gorgeous. I can’t describe how it looked, but it was so beautiful.

One night, it was snowing, so my sister Carol and I decided to go from our house to the nearby park in the dark. We went and just giggled and laughed in the dark in the snow with that beautiful color all around.

BIO Adele Anderson ended up going to Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia. As a resident of Fredericksburg, she volunteers at a medical clinic. In her free time she enjoys knitting and spinning wool when she’s not catching up with her children and husband.

Adele Anderson

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CHAPTER 3

MARK HAINSEY 24

Mark Hainsey

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The first person I interviewed is Mark Hainsey, a man whose daughter I babysat regularly. When he would pick me up to babysit, he and I would engage in fun conversations. Since I was always intrigued by his stories and he was a 70s teenager, I thought he would be a perfect candidate. Here is his perspective:

Mark Hainsey

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Mark Hainsey

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SOCIETY I was a teenager through the late 70s and graduated from high school in 1979. In high school, we had almost 500 kids. We had our problems. We had drinking, but actually, we didn’t have much of a drug problem. I think the [societal] standards were probably the same as they are now in theory, but it was a simpler time. We didn’t have computers or cell phones. None of that existed.

I played baseball all the way up until I graduated from high school, and that’s what we did in the summertime. In my family’s culture, we were hunters and fishermen, so I spent an awful lot of time hunting in the fall and fishing.

We were expected to go to school and get good grades. From my perspective, you planned to go to college. You really had two choices in high school: college prep or everything else. That everything else was vo-tech or family business. I would say that probably everybody in my senior class took a path, and that’s kind of what we were expected to do.

There was none of this floating around trying to figure myself [sic] out, let me take a few years off because I need to see the world. There wasn’t any of that; you were expected to shoulder the responsibility of somebody that just graduated high school and needed to figure out what you’re going to do next.

The current culture today allows those kids to go figure it out. There just wasn’t a whole lot of time to do that when I was growing up.

Mark Hainsey

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FAMILY I have a sister. She’s about a year and a half younger than I am, so we’re pretty close in age. I was born in a small town, but we followed my dad who took a job in a bigger town. I didn’t have any relatives around me.

I was born in Clearfield, Pennsylvania and spent the first five years of my life in Clearfield and then we moved to Indiana [Pennsylvania] which was about 60 miles away. My mom’s mother and both of my dad’s parents still lived in Clearfield. Every weekend either we were going back there or my grandmother from my mother’s side was coming to visit us. That was something I looked forward to as a kid because it was different than spending the weekend with your parents.

70s Muppet lunch box.

My cousins were in Clearfield so when we would go back to Clearfield, I would see my cousins. My grandparents on my dad’s side lived on a farm. I was fortunate enough to know what it’s like to bale hay, milk cows, and take care of livestock. All the way up until I graduated from high school, it was the same thing. We went there every year. Then both sets of my grandparents passed away, and pretty much all of our family drifted apart.

FRIENDS My best friend when I was growing up was Jeff.

He was from the same hometown. He and I were really close all the way up until we graduated high school. We hung out with each other on graduation night, and when we left for college, we lost touch.

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Mark Hainsey

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We’ve reengaged through Facebook, but that’s not personal. We pretty much did everything [together].

I had another friend, Bill. He was also a school chum.

Mostly when Jeff wasn’t around, Bill and I got together.

I lived on a street with 44 kids, and we all hung out together. At some point and [sic] time, we counted ourselves. Nobody on that street I would really consider to be my best friend. With that many kids, we could have pickup baseball games and field two teams.

We had a nice creek that ran behind the houses, and it flowed all year long. It wouldn’t be odd to find 15 of us just hanging out, throwing rocks, catching crayfish, and swimming in the creek. There was some age disparity.

It was a nice mix of kids right around the same age. Of those kids, probably 10 of the 44 I actually went to high school with.

SOCIAL LIFE

LIFE magazine advertisement notice about smoking.

[By] 7 o’clock in the morning, I’d be out of the house and I’d be gone until 5 o’clock at night. My dad would ring a dinner bell, and I could hear that dinner bell all over the neighborhood. We would be in the woods; we would be playing baseball; and doing all kinds of stuff. Unless it was a blinding rainstorm, you were never in the house. My mother and father said the same thing: “Go do something.” Those were literally their words. They didn’t pine away trying to figure out what we could go do: “You figure it out.” They never lost a minute’s worth of sleep trying to entertain us.

Mark Hainsey

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Mark Hainsey

70s 80s We had two places [to hangout]. The first place was McDonald’s. They built a McDonald’s in my hometown and everybody just used to cruise. I mean it’s what you did in your car, just cruise to McDonald’s, then go downtown cruise around there and come back to McDonald’s. We would just hang out in the parking lot. It was the go-to high school spot if you could drive and you wanted to get together.

In the wintertime, the other place we would go was the skating rink. It was same thing [as McDonald’s] only not on wheels but on skates. When I was 15-16, we would be at these couple places. On weekends, we would go to a State Park and hang out, but it was still sitting with your car, sitting with your buddies just kind of hanging out.

We actually went out on dates. There was no texting.

There was no electronics at all. When you went out on a date, you went out to eat, you went skating, and went to the movies. Even if you hung out with friends it was all verbal communication. You talked. There was a lot of shaping [sic] before you asked a girl out on a date. “Does she like me? Does she know me?” A whole lot of that went on in the background before you actually called somebody up and asked them out on a date. You’d better have a plan and be willing to maybe even talk to some parents. I believe that there was way more personal interaction on a date.

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MOVIES & TV There was television; nowhere near as sophisticated as television is today. It was about as dumb as you could get. But it was fun. There were shows like M*A*S*H. Also shows like Hee Haw, and Laugh-In. Goldie Hawn was nobody other than a bit character on Laugh-In when it started. A whole lot of comedians out there got their start on Laugh-In. Hee Haw was comedy and music. I did that until I was probably 14.

But late 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 I was out. I was either on a date, out with friends that had cars, or, you know, out cruising to McDonald’s or going skating. I didn’t spend weekends at home either. I was out on the road.

“I can’t [sic] drive the car, but I’d sit there and listen to music.”

MUSIC I always had a stereo hooked up. It was back in a time when you could actually listen to AM radio. Our radio station in my town was an AM radio station and you would get the top 10, top 20. I listened to a lot of music. I got my first car, when I was like 14 1/2 or early 15 so I couldn’t drive it. I spent hours and hours putting a stereo system in it, tweaking around with the stereo system, and just sitting in the driveway. I can’t Mark Hainsey

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[sic] drive the car, but I’d sit there and listen to music.

AM radio, FM, and then 8-track tapes. Anyways, I had a pretty extensive collection that would fill my back seat. I’m back in the time of Creedence Clearwater Revival, Led Zeppelin, and ACDC; all these groups in their early days.

TRENDS Two [trends] really come to mind. Bell-bottoms were huge. We all wore bell-bottom pants. It was bell-bottoms with what they call patch pockets. It was a bell-bottom jean, but the rear pockets were a different color. The other big thing from a fashion trend was they used to have real wide leather watch bands. It was pretty cool to have a wide leather watch band. That’s probably about as fashionable as I get.

In the 70s, if you had short hair like I have now there was something wrong with you. I had very long blonde wavy hair. Every morning I’d take a shower, dry my hair, and fluff it up. High maintenance.

NEWS

A 1970s comic book advertisement (a scam).

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Mark Hainsey

In the early 70s, when I was 10 to 13, the Vietnam War was still going on. Part of the entertainment that I partook in was sitting and looking at the list of draft numbers. That’s [sic] kind of scary. People in the 70s kind of buckled down. They got through the Vietnam War. They got through the whole counterculture process. We took the traditional route with school and responsibility. Plus, I had parents that stayed engaged and were a regular part of my life. I was not a latchkey

70s 80s kid or trying to figure it out on my own. My parents were a strong influence on my path forward.

OVERALL 70s PERSPECTIVE From my perspective it was: “Take responsibility again.” There’s no more trying to sort it out and finding yourself. My tagline would be, “Time to buckle down.”

I had a pretty solid path ahead. I just stuck to it. A lot of people my age took the same path. It was about keeping your nose clean, going to college, have [sic] a family, and make [sic] good money. Do all the things that give you a successful life. In my generation, it was about taking the right path and don’t deviate [sic] too far right or left. It was a much simpler time. Things were much more cut and dry. There wasn’t this level of sophistication that you have to sort through

“It was still the easy life.

You had to make your fun.” nowadays. It was still the easy life. You had to make your fun. We didn’t have all the trappings that kids have nowadays. Nothing was handed to you in the form of apps on the phone or games on a computer. I would be out in the field hunting, fishing, and playing with the 44 kids in my neighborhood.

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VIEW ON HUMAN CONNECTION Human connection are [sic] those one on one interactions that you have with anyone. It involves no distractors or outside influencers [sic] like electronics.

The whole complex system of things that really has a wide-reaching effect on people today. That ends up distracting people from being able to talk, have eye contact, and say things that actually can shape people’s feelings. You just have a conversation.

We don’t have the kind of personal interaction and engagement that was demanded in the 70s. I was living in the moment.

FAVORITE MEMORY Back on the farm, there was this big apple tree. Until I was 16 or 17 years old, I would go home there, get together with some of my cousins and we would climb that tree and literally sit there for hours.

Sometimes you would get locked in there because it was a true apple tree which have [sic] a tendency to attract yellow jackets. We would be at the top of the tree and couldn’t move because the tree would be full of yellow jackets. We would just sit and the five of us would talk. As a teenager [sic], we would talk about girls, cars, and anything we found interesting. The memory of sitting in an apple tree just out in the middle of a cornfield. That was my 70s.

BIO Mark Hainsey went to Penn State University. He currently resides in Fredericksburg, Virginia with his wife and daughter. He loves to go camping and still enjoys listening to his 70s music.

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SECTION TWO: 1980s CHAPTER FOUR

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CHAPTER FIVE

Maura Harrison

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CHAPTER SIX

Allen Harrison

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INTRODUCTION The 80s showed its true colors, no take backs. The decade wasn’t afraid of what people thought about it; it flaunted itself. The honest, shameless selfexpression inspired me as a young adult and artist.

The first thing I liked about the 80s was the music. I spend a lot of time online looking for new music and at the time, I remember my brothers found a parody singing Take on Me by a-ha. I found the song so entertaining I started making a playlist with 80s music.

As time went on, I started to watch films from the decade and I was sold! All the young adult stories were so relatable that, even to this day, people watch them. Movies like Footloose give an upbeat outlook on life. They make me want to live out my dreams and express myself. Every film is both a celebration and lesson of growing up.

Freedom is a prevalent theme throughout the films.

To hop on my bike, ride to the nearest teen hangout, and spend time with friends was all I really wanted as a teenager. I love the idea of being completely detached from the internet. The films show teenagers always relying on in-person contact. If they wanted to talk to someone, they had to meet up or try to reach them on a clunky landline. Can you imagine how much happier we all would be if we didn’t rely on our cell phones so much? I think they can be great tools in society, but maybe we would obtain more freedom without being addicted to the web. I get

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the feeling that, in the 80s, there was a balance of freedom and responsibility.

I eventually watched Stand By Me, which was based on Stephen King’s The Body, and this movie became my biggest 80s influence. I was struggling with friendships at that point and was having a hard time grasping the concept of loving myself. I’m sure there are many people that feel this way. It is that typical adolescent loneliness that makes adults cringe even though if they looked back at their own youth they likely experienced similar feelings.

Anyway, something about that film impacted me.

Each scene filmed showed the slow passing of time where each character learned about themselves.

Each character was unapologetically themselves.

And yet through the hardships and danger, they stuck with each other. I think the title says it all. I wanted someone to stand by me and accept me for who I am.

There is a particular scene where the two lead characters connect. I specifically remember River Phoenix’s character, Chris. He talked about how locals gossiped about his family, and everyone thought he would end up a failure. He dreamed of making a new life away from the ridicule (Stand By Me). His wish of running away and starting fresh is the way I sometimes look at life. Like Chris, I have lived in my hometown my entire life and now I want to be somewhere new.

80s 70s Everyone I grew up with has prejudices against me or believes they know exactly who I am. I did not fit the bill of every other teenager in society. Unfortunately, I cared too much when people ignored me. I wasted so much of my time thinking I had to impress people when I should have moved on. Chris’ words made me think about how much I fed this flaw. So I started to try and fix myself.

This year, however, I realized I was still allowing the flaw to take over my life. I was trying too hard to hold onto people that could not care less about me. I thought back to the movie and Chris’ wish. Could I get out and try something new or would I continue to let my insecurities get the better of me?

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This film from the 80s taught me that we must accept who we are and live by our own morals and standards.

We should not focus on what we lack, but on what we do have. Even though Chris wanted to leave the town because of the gossip, he realized the importance of friendship. Gordie showed compassion and gave Chris confidence. Chris had what he needed all along: someone who cared. Gordie cared. My family and close friends care about me. Even though I want to experience something new and leave my hometown, the human connection that my family gives me allows me to develop my own understanding of self-expression and freedom.

Then I remembered Gordie’s character. He was beside Chris during the aforementioned scene. The whole movie he defended Chris and stood with him. During the scene, he had a comforting presence while Chris broke down in tears (Stand By Me). I loved how he cared about his friend so much. Suddenly, I started thinking about who cared about me. It came down to the most important people in my life: my family. If you read my bio, I am from a large family of eight kids.

While the world changes and so many catastrophes occur, my family stands fast against the tide. Every day, we support each other and make sure to spend time with one another. I have gotten close to people who want what is best for me and, in turn, I want the same for them.

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CHAPTER 5

MAURA HARRISON 38

Maura Harrison

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Maura is a very artistic person with a fascinating view on society. She always has an opinion worth hearing and having her perspective was important to me. Here are her experiences throughout the decade:

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SOCIETY The expectations were you went to school, you did your best, and went to church. A lot of people I knew in high school ended up getting part time jobs. It was all pretty boring. I was always trying to be a typical teenager, trying to make my own decisions and always trying to break rules. But the rules [I broke] were pretty small I think. We definitely had a lot more freedom.

I remember going with my friends to the 4th of July fireworks in Washington D.C. without my parents.

As four ninth-graders, our parents would drop us off at the metro station, and we would metro into D.C. During the day, we went to the mall and watched the Beach Boys play in concert. Then, in the evening, we would see the fireworks and go home. We did all of this on our own without parents. I can’t imagine letting my kids go out and do something like that.

It’s definitely a different world.

My husband and I often talk about this. We sometimes think, “What were our parents thinking letting us do this stuff?” Because we were going to movies that, again, we would not let our ninth-grade kids watch like Flashdance, Footloose, and Sixteen Candles. We would just go watch the movie and then just hang out. We were driving everywhere; we had a level of freedom which I don’t think kids have right now. We felt really safe to go and wander about. We walk and ride bikes [sic] at all hours of the day just in our neighborhood. Our parents wouldn’t know where we were. We say [sic], “We’re going to walk over to so Maura Harrison

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and so’s house and be back by this time,” and they would reply, “Okay.” They wouldn’t have a problem or ask any questions like, “Who are you going to be with?

Do you know who is going to be there? Who else is going to be around?” None of that happened. So, we would leave and end up getting fake IDs. We would go into High’s [Dairy] and try to get a six-pack or four-pack of wine coolers. Sometimes the clerk would sell it to us and sometimes the clerk wouldn’t. Again, it was definitely a different time and place. Now, that’s just not the mentality.

FAMILY I have one younger sister, and she’s five years younger.

I have cousins, but I actually don’t know them at all, except for two in North Dakota. The reason I don’t know most of my cousins is because my father’s family is from Boston and my mom’s family is from Leeds, North Dakota and they met and got married in the Philippines.

Then, of course, I’m an air force brat, and we would move so much. We never really had the occasion to live near any family. We would take summer trips to North Dakota. All of my extended family from my childhood is pretty remote. I don’t really interact with any extended family.

Allen’s notes in Maura’s yearbooks.

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So, I had the one sister. In Japan, we did more together because we did more things as a family. We would tour Japan on the weekends because my parents

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were really big into seeing Japan. Once we moved to Alexandria, we really didn’t do as much family outing stuff like that. So that was really kind of a feature of living in Japan. We always ate dinner every single night as a family and went to church. I was in band, and my sister was in soccer, so by that point, we were both not so much in [sic] family time.

FRIENDS Allen was one of my best friends, and then I had a friend named Devonee. Maybe I had a couple more, but I’d say just pretty much those two people. I met Devonee through our moms; I think they might have introduced us. They had discovered that we were both going to be in band. So, we lived in this neighborhood right across the street from our high school and again this is a different time and place. We always walked to school. No buses or cars. Even though you were in high school and even if you had a license, you would still walk to school.

Letterman jacket patch for band.

I was probably more extroverted, and [Devonee] was more introverted. We would do homework together since we had similar classes and we would hang out, go shopping. Her family was Lutheran, and my mom, sister, and I went to church, so we had that in common.

A significant amount of time was dedicated to band.

I played the flute in my freshman year. I was probably one of a gazillion flute players. At the end of freshman

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80s 70s year, there were holes in the band so the band director was trying to get people to switch instruments. I switched to the French horn. My incentive was I need to get into an instrument where I can go on band trips. I saw quickly I had no future as a flute player and I had the chance to do something as French horn player. Devonee played the clarinet, and Allen played the tuba.

Allen and I dated in my freshman year. We met in band camp and maybe around Christmas time we dated for a little while, maybe a month; I can’t remember. Then he broke up with me and went on to date every other girl in band. But after he broke up with me, we still saw each other every day because band took up so much time. And we were still friends.

If I wasn’t hanging out with Devonee, I was hanging out with Allen even when he was dating somebody, which was so weird. He’s a year older, so his last year in high school was in ‘86 and then he went to Hampden-Sydney in ‘87. I went with him [and] his mom when we took him and dropped him off at Hampden-Sydney. I was part of his family in that sense.

COOL EXPERIENCES I learned to ski on Mount Fuji which was kind of cool.

We traveled so much and went to the Nikko Shrines, and it’s [sic] just overwhelmingly beautiful. In the same area, there were these lakes that, because of the volcanic activity in the mineral springs, were all

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different colors like chartreuse, turquoise, and baby blue. I saw a lot of these natural geologic states that were just really spectacular.

In high school, probably the coolest place I went to was Montreal on a band trip. None of my family was there. But we were in this competition, and

“We played Toccata and Fugue because that was our showcase piece.” our band was really good. We actually ended up winning the whole tournament. I think there were 100 bands overall in the different classes of the whole competition. So, around a 1000 people who participated came to the award ceremony. It was held in the hockey arena where the Olympics were played.

Imagine this huge space and our band was set up on the floor in the center. We were only sitting on about half of the main floor and we were looking up at all these people.

We played Toccata and Fugue because that was our showcase piece. I think it’s probably about 18 minutes long or something like that. So, we started playing the piece. The sound is [sic] amazing and the piece is very dramatic. We got to the end, the conductor cut us Maura Harrison

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off, and the last sound went out into that space. Then the silence went out into the space. It was probably no time at all, but it felt like it was this dead silence from everybody. They were so stunned by the sound that had come out of this band, and then every single person was on their feet clapping. Those people were our competitors and they loved our performance.

It was totally amazing, and it probably was the best performance we did of that piece. It felt like the transcendence of doing something in a group to be a little tiny part of something so much more than yourself.

BOOKS & TV I had really good English teachers in high school.

They would always have the summer reading lists and I actually read what was on the lists. The Scarlet Letter, 1984, Lord of the Flies, and a lot of those classics you were supposed to read.

We watched MTV a lot. Devonee and I watched MTV for a while, and all the 80s MTV videos were pretty big. So, I had movie posters on my wall. I had David Lee Roth from Van Halen with the big blond hair. I probably had Duran Duran posters on my wall; not that I really thought they were cute, but they were music posters.

MUSIC Maura’s honor sash.

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If I was with Allen hanging out, we were listening to music. We would listen to Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin,

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Eagles, and Steely Dan. Allen likes music a lot. He plays guitar, the base, drums, and that was a big part of him. We would be in his house and have the record player on the floor and there would be just stacks of albums that we would go through. “Listen to this.

Listen to this guitar here.” He would play something, I would really like it and I would go out and buy the record. Now we are married and have two of everything. The 80s–that was the thing too, right?–records, tape decks, and the radio. We would have all these tapes. The 80s were all about your cassette tapes and recording songs on off the radio that you liked.

TRENDS I had parachute pants. They were really awesome.

They were made out of some kind of silky canvas fabric that had lots of pocket zippers all over it. They were really cool. I had the big hair. From ‘80 to ‘83, I had a lot of fun being a valley girl: “Gag me with a spoon!” I don’t think I really took it seriously; I took it as a joke. I’d say those phrases trying to be funny.

It became part of our banter between classmates.

That’s early 80s; I don’t remember that as much in high school.

The band roster. Maura’s name is positioned right below Allen’s.

A big communication thing was note writing. At night, I would write a note, and in the morning, we [Devonee, Allen, and I] would exchange notes. Maybe once or twice a week. Sometimes the note was new and other times it was the same note with something added to it. In band rehearsals, there was a lot of note passing.

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80s 70s OVERALL 80s PERSPECTIVE We [Allen and I] have often concluded that my parents came from a generation where they trusted things. I regret some of the classes that I took in college because I think I was a fairly normal person and I came out of it a feminist. I think college was able to do that to me because there was a silence in high school in my family about faith and virtues, right and wrong, and absolute truths. My family did not talk that way. They had confidence in the school system and that society was supposed to grow good, moral

“As a teenager, you’re trying to be bold, fit in, and break the rules...”

people because they came from a time where society grew good, moral people. Perhaps if my parents had talked more explicitly about things, I would have been more aware of relativism. Now, as parents, we talk very explicitly about morals and the dignity of the individual.

The 80s was a free for all: “Do whatever you can to have fun.” It’s all about yourself. It was a self-centered decade, but at the time, I had a very easy teenage life.

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As a teenager, you’re trying to be bold, fit in, and break the rules that you think you can [sic] get away with.

VIEW ON HUMAN CONNECTION Human connection was practiced more in the 80s and less today. Social media is destroying that connection and ruining your psyche. I think social media is fun, but it does have its problems. People come to substitute social media as their prime source of interaction as opposed to in person interaction.

It’s the small little acts of kindness like smiling or greeting a stranger which are not a common practice anymore, especially in this serious time of COVID with mask wearing. Kindness is more artificial now, and back then, it was more real. You weren’t isolated. You had your connection.

You have to go outside of yourself. That’s what it boils down to. It’s a fallacy to spend too much time in yourself. Human connection–to be poetic–it’s your breath. It’s your existence; it’s the only thing that anchors you to meaning.

BIO Maura Harrison attended George Mason University. Now she is a freelance graphic designer and works from home. She is an artist and loves to run for fun. She lives with Allen, her high school sweetheart and husband, and her children in Fredericksburg, Virginia.

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CHAPTER 6

ALLEN HARRISON 50

Allen Harrison

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Allen, Maura’s husband, has been a family friend for a long time. He was my piano teacher for a few years and even taught me guitar. He always has good stories to tell and I knew I wanted his perspective of the 80s. It is definitely a memorable one. Here is his 80s experience:

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SOCIETY I guess politically you call our society in Alexandria conservative. Culturally you would call it regular old America. Everyone was pretty normal. People expected us to be polite, and we had to respect our elders. But it was just normal, like the typical American town during that time. Everybody got along pretty well even though kids in high school would have fights and stuff like that. The principle and all the teachers in high school expected us to be respectful to them, but there was always rebellion– nothing out of the ordinary. There were people of all religions. I think everybody had a religion. Almost everybody was Christian of some denomination even in a place like Alexandria which has lots of military and international people.

Our parents had grown up in the 50s, so I think they were very trusting of us that we were all going to behave ourselves. They let us do whatever we were going to do. I dated almost all the girls I hung out with, and they were military kids. Maura’s father was a Colonel. Another girl’s father was a Commodore in the Navy, and another was an army captain. All these guys clearly expected that I was going to be a good guy. They met me; they knew me, and I spent a lot of time at those girls’ houses on the weekends. [Their fathers] never questioned me. They never gave me a lecture or anything, but there was always the implicit expectation that you were going to be upstanding and respect their daughter.

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FAMILY I was a product of my parents who were born in the 40s, so they matured in the late 50s and 60s.

My parents were divorced by the time I was six or eight months old, so I grew up with my mother. She remarried, and I had a stepfather from the time I was 4 until I was 10. They eventually divorced and so it was [just] my mom and me.

My dad remarried and had three kids, so I had three half-sisters. I didn’t spend a lot of time with them. I didn’t even know them until I was a teenager. So, it was really just my mom’s side of the family: my grandmother, grandfather, and my mom’s two brothers. My grandfather and uncles especially were very much my role models. I spent a lot of time with them. There were a lot of men in my life between my grandfather and my uncles. I spent the summers and at least a week or two of Christmas at their house.

Allen’s high school yearbook photo.

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I had a neighbor who was a really good role model and I would spend a lot of time with him on the weekends. A neighbor across the street who was the builder I worked for through high school was another role model. I guess divorce was pretty normal. People were divorced, and it was seen as just normal stuff. In the neighborhood I lived in, the men around me were all very good guys, very hard working. They became kind of like what I look [sic] at as my father.

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FRIENDS Maura was one of my best friends. We met in band when she was, I believe, a freshman, and I was a sophomore. We might have dated for a short time if you can call it dating back then. We were friends all the way through high school. My closest friends were Tom Olds, who just died this year. He was a year younger than me, and we met in band also. He had a very tough life with his medical problems and in school.

I had a lot of girl friends. I ran around with kids who were older than me. When I was a sophomore, I was running around with seniors and when I was a junior, I was running around with seniors. I always looked up to the older guys, so I was going around to all the senior parties as a sophomore.

Letterman patch for band.

Then, again, in my neighborhood, all those men that lived around were good friends. On the weekends, I spent time with them–like the guy next door. He’d bring me down to Fredericksburg [because] he had property there. There was no house on it, it was just for cutting wood for fire. He taught me how to drive a stick shift vehicle when I was way underage. He was a scientist, so he gave me all sorts of books. I remember spending a weekend up in his attic going through all of his old books, and he gave me a library to read.

The guy on the other side of me was an electrician by trade, but he had a garage that was turned into a woodshop, so I did my first woodworking at his house.

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80s 70s The builder across the street taught me everything on how to build stuff like homes.

SOCIAL LIFE There was this place on George Washington Parkway called “the hill.” It was along the river, and there was a bike path that ran the whole way. “The hill” was off the bike path that was cleared, but you had to go through woods to get to it. It was up high overlooking the river. We would have bonfires. It would range from 20 people to sometimes even 200 hanging out there.

In those years, I was a boy scout, and, in the summer, we would go to scout camp. Probably the coolest camp was sailing camp. That was two weeks or one at a lake learning how to sail sailboats, how to overturn them, get them back upright, and water rescue.

As far as meaningful stuff, the band, like Maura told you, was the center of our lives. We went on marching band trips in the fall during football season.

Then, after football was over, it was symphonic wind ensemble stuff like that Montreal trip. We had marching band competitions and we go all over the East Coast.

My friend around the corner–his father owned the bike shop in the neighborhood, so we all had motocross bikes and we spent our weekends running around on our bicycles. [We would] leave the house first thing in the morning on Saturday and just run around all day wherever we wanted until dinner

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time. We were–what?–12 years old. We would play basketball, baseball, and just all stuff like that. Then there was the store we would always go to. We would get our allowance because back then everybody got an allowance. This guy David and I, we go right up there on our bikes to High’s Diary and we would get Hostess fruit pies, Twinkies, a bag of Doritos, and a Coke. Then we would gorge ourselves on junk food first thing in the morning.

Friday and Saturday nights, I was hanging out with a girl. Usually, we would be at her parents’ house or my mom’s house and we’d watch a movie or listen to music. I was very much into girls in high school.

During the day, it was about hanging with the guys.

Friday and Saturday nights were spent with the girls.

Of course, in the 80s, that was fine with the parents.

They trusted you; they thought you weren’t doing anything wrong.

“...Saturday nights were spent with the girls.”

TV TV was big. Cable came along in the 80s, and up in Alexandria, we were one of the first communities to get cable. Favorite TV shows would be Dukes of Hazzard and Andy Griffith Show. You had the lineup during the week, and replays were still going on: Allen Harrison

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Love Boat, Magnum, P.I., just a ton of different TV shows. Then there were Tarzan movies on Saturday mornings and cartoons. Jaws was still huge too; impacted all the little kids. Every kid in that generation is probably terrified of sharks.

BOOKS I read a lot. So that neighbor next door, he had a set of old Edgar Rice Burroughs books. Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote all the Tarzan stories and all these other science fiction series about life at the center of the earth’s core and life on Mars. Once I got into high school, we read a lot. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest was probably my favorite book. I was just at the right time in my life, and it kind of sparked something in me. But also, it was a dark depressing story, and, for high school kids, that’s often what they are attracted to.

MUSIC I liked all sorts of music. Actually, back then I loved classical music; we played a lot of it in school. My mother played piano from the time she was a little girl. She probably took 40 or 50 years of piano lessons and was a good pianist, so I always had music around.

Allen’s reappearing cartoon character from high school.

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Elvis was huge to me. I remember crying when Elvis died, and I was probably only seven or eight. After learning to play a classical guitar, when I was 10, I really wanted to play Elvis. So, some older guy in the neighborhood loaned me a steel string guitar. Elvis

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was what drove me to want to play music and play rock-n-roll. The Beatles were huge too. My mom had a stereo system, and I remember putting on like a Beatles record, the second side of Abbey Road. It starts with Here Comes the Sun, and I would literally lay on the floor and play that side of the record. I pulled the speakers out and put the speakers on either side of my head. I probably listened to that side hundreds of times as a kid.

It was all very influential because I was a musician, so when I was maybe in eighth grade I started playing in a band with older kids. I was an absolute disaster. I probably listened mostly to 60s and 70s, so bands like the Beatles, the Doors, and the Eagles, which were still big during the 80s. 80s music came along and it started getting mixed into Boy George and all that kind of stuff. Tom Petty was the 70s and really came into his own time in the 80s. I really listened to all kinds of music. I played everything I could get my hands on.

TRENDS The hair [sic] was crazy back then. My hair was always pretty normal. I grew it long, but more at the end of high school and through college. An older guy who was in the band with me, we both grew out our hair long enough to get perms, so we had the afro for a day. He kept his, and I cut mine off after that one day.

One of the many duplicate record albums that Allen and Maura own.

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80s 70s I was always pretty much a blue jeans and t-shirt guy, but I remember the kids with the parachute pants.

And the big baggy clothing was huge. Striped t-shirts were huge.

I think the 80s were the first generation where people started using the word “like” all the time and it’s gone on to this day. It was the valley girl thing and people adopted it intentionally, the “like this” and “like that.”

The problem was they couldn’t break the habit, and now everybody does it.

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we lived right there in Alexandria. All day long we would count the planes going in and out of Reagan national; that was our local airport. The plane took off one morning in the winter and couldn’t get up in the air. It ended up hitting the bridge and went into the water. A bunch of people died, and some were heroes.

I also remember in 1986, the space shuttle challenger disaster. Big news story. We were all watching it in school because a teacher was on board. Everyone saw it on live TV.

GOALS & DREAMS

OVERALL 80s PERSPECTIVE

I wanted to be a rock star. I wanted to be a musician; I shouldn’t say rock star. I only gave that kind of thing up when I realized that it’s such a huge combination of talents, skill, hard work, and a huge dose of luck. I also wanted to build, you know, as a kid. One of those guys in the neighborhood, the builder I worked for, he was like a hero to me. When I came back to the building business after I moved to Fredericksburg, it wasn’t like just a job you take. I was looking at that and going, “Man, that’s really what I want to do.”

The 80s were a good time and felt very safe. The 60s were full of violence, cities burning, and the 70s was when everybody kind of chilled out. By the time the 80s rolled around, Reagan was president, and everything just felt like a more normal time. You always felt safe in your neighborhood. That was the trend of the 80s: normal. Everybody just wanted to have fun.

NEWS Reagan’s election was huge news, and, in my family, it was good news. The Iranians let the hostages go.

That was what kicked off the 1980s. It felt like the whole country was partying. Another big news story I remember was when that plane crashed into the Woodrow Wilson bridge. That was horrible because

The motto of the 80s would be like “Party on,” or something like that. I think after all the difficulty and strife of the Vietnam War in the 60s, people really did just want to live their lives, enjoy themselves in peace and prosperity, and have a good time. The attitude was kind of like,” I won’t bother you if you don’t bother me. We don’t want to get into wars.”

At the time, I should’ve told myself to get serious.

At some point, you’ve got to grow up, get serious

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about what you’re doing, work hard, have faith, be interested in things, and read as much as you can.

Don’t waste your life.

VIEW ON HUMAN CONNECTION

Allen getting water sprayed in his face.

In the 80s, [human connection] was practiced more.

Simply because again it was a more trusting time. I never had anybody tell me to be careful. I lived in a blue-collar neighborhood; my mother didn’t know where I was going to be all day long. I’d see neighbors out in the yard, we talked to each other all the time; we had block parties as a community. I think there were just more opportunities for human connection back then because people probably trusted each other more then. Political divisions weren’t so serious; you didn’t look at your neighbor if they voted Democrat and think, “That’s an evil person,” or vice versa. We didn’t have any technology which meant that any human connection we had wasn’t through a computer or a phone or anything like that. It was human to human. While I think technology is risky, at the same time, technology has its good side of being able to maintain human connections from distances.

I’m in touch on my phone with guys I haven’t seen in 20 or 30 years, but we went to college together and it’s like we were never apart. But again, those connections were developed in the 80s from talking in person and spending all that time together.

One time I had a vision, and it probably came in my late 20s when I had converted to Christianity. I was reading a lot of philosophy and poetry and I kind

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of had this vision. People kind of growing up almost like how [a] mushroom grows out of the ground and then three days later it’s gone. I saw things just growing and dying.

There is a theory of this collective consciousness out there that we all participate in. I think whatever intelligence I have, whatever beliefs I have come from someone else. You look at the world and people are living their lives and dying. All of this is happening at the same time. The only opportunity for the hand off is while one is dying and the other one is starting to come. I guess I see that human connection as, you know, imparting something to someone else of real value, and sometimes that can be as easy as 3 + 3 = 6– simple as that.

Sometimes it can be something totally unrelated to intelligence. We couldn’t be where we are unless all these generations before us had built on each other.

When you think about it from a faith perspective, that human connection exists even outside of this world.

Human connection isn’t just from someone to me or from me to my kids, but also out into the future of generations that are not here yet. You have got to leave them something as good as you can.

Allen’s reappearing cartoon character (Santa version).

BIO Allen Harrison went to Hampden-Sydney College after high school.

He works as a builder in Fredericksburg, Virginia. He and Maura have six children and a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. He owns a bunch of instruments to satisfy his obsession with music.

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SECTION THREE: 1990s CHAPTER FOUR

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CHAPTER FIVE

Katy McAskill

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CHAPTER SIX

Valerie Danielson

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INTRODUCTION The 90s is what I like to think of as the 80s cousin.

All the trends were similar to the 80s, but seem to have been more enhanced or developed. I like to think I’m a 90s baby even though I was born in 1999.

It was late March, so the 90s were still happening.

Arguing this point is useless though since I didn’t get to experience anything which is such a depressing thought. I will always blame my parents for that one.

But my connection to the 90s is through a small, famous dystopian book that really changed me.

When I was around eleven or twelve, I remember having dinner with my family and friends one night.

My eldest sister was talking to a family friend about a book. Our family friend was really animated and talked about how she had read the book when it first came out in the early 90s. Apparently, the book talked about how society had lost its humanity, and people were practically like robots. Deteriorated societies are a common theme in dystopian novels, and many young adult books focus on this concept today.

As they spoke, my sister, Elise, was agreeing with her readily. I instantly piped up, “Elise, what’s the book?

Is it good?” At this time, I was just starting to become an avid reader and I wanted to read anything as long as it was fiction. I always looked up to my sister, and everything she did, so I was positive that if my sister had read the book, it must be good. Elise responded with, “I don’t know if you can read it. It’s a pretty serious subject with adult themes.” I remember being frustrated and showed I was annoyed with the reply.

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90s 70s A few days later, my sister came to me with the book and said in that older sister voice, “If you think the story is too much for you just stop reading it, okay?”

I grabbed it and started reading. I had never read dystopian books before, so the overall concept was baffling to me. The idea that society could decline so much and turn into a lonely robotic community was a terrifying thought. I began to think: “Could society ever become like this?” The book was small, and I read it in one to two days, captivated by the plot and characters.

The protagonist is a young boy who was timid and uneasy in his surroundings. He follows the many societal rules and understands that everyone else does likewise. No one makes their own choices.

Eventually, the reader finds out that the society banned emotions and connection between people.

It condemns physical touch or loving someone as abnormal and wrong behaviors. The boy discovers how flawed his community is and tries to bring humanity back into the society (Lowry).

Throughout the book, the society keeps secrets from its people, attempting to block out pain and misfortune (Lowry). I knew that the protagonist yearned for that human connection unlike his peers.

Just reading his thoughts, I felt a deep sadness. It is not common for me to cry through books or movies, but I remember having to take a reading break as my eyes filled up with tears.

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Reading about humanity being persecuted in such a way was incomprehensible. That was when I first started to understand the concept of human connection–something that is built into our systems, and we take it for granted. Though I had experienced this phenomenon before, I only then realized its value.

The Giver was released in 1993 by Lois Lowry and a movie adaptation came out in 2014. The book was made for younger ages, but appealed to adults as well for its serious themes. Lowry wrote the book to show both the beauty of humanity and how we should treasure it. Ever since I read the book, I have treasured the influence it had on me. I want to approach every person with kindness and interest. I want to know how they live and what makes them love being human.

In the 90s, Lowry gave the world a heartfelt story about restoring humanity to a robot world. I want to be like her: a missionary for humanity. The world is becoming more and more about how each person can succeed on their own. If I can bring others human connection in a sad lonely world, I will consider my goal complete.

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CHAPTER 8

KATY MCASKILL 68

Katy McAskill

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I have always admired Katy’s view of the world especially through her photography style.

Her artsy personality made me want to get her view of the 90s. Before the interview I did not know her very well so having this time with her really gave me an interesting perspective of her in the 90s.

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SOCIETY We lived in a neighborhood where we knew everybody. We knew all of our neighbors, and the parents knew the parents. It was just like that typical feeling of suburbia where you just know everybody, and people who moved into a neighborhood stayed in the neighborhood, so you would grow up with the same kids. Respect-wise, I think it was…I wouldn’t say strict, but I would be surprised to see someone disrespect the teacher. That would’ve been the bad kid, and it would’ve been out of place for something like that to happen.

I was pretty much expected to get a job after college.

This was, you know, the end of the 90s because I graduated in 2000, so I did move back in with my parents for one year afterwards, but it was pretty much expected that you take care of yourself, “You’ve graduated school, you’ve done what you need to do and now you need to do the next thing that you need to do.” What do they call it. . .I don’t know what the phrase is, but, you know, there wasn’t a lot of going out and discovering yourself. All of my friends graduated and either went to grad school or got jobs.

It was just the next step that we had. I would say that was what was expected.

FAMILY I have a brother, and he’s three years older than me.

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see them regularly. I had a girl cousin my age, another boy cousin my brother’s age and we played at our grandparents [house]. My parents are still together today, and we were just a typical family.

I would say most of my family memories, including my cousins and my brother, would be going to my grandparents. They had a dock, and we would crab off of the dock. There was this little store called Franks which was like a little gas station, and we would walk there. They would give us a dollar, and we got candy; just simple stuff like that. Thanksgiving we were all together. My grandparents lived in the Northern Neck. I don’t remember where my uncle was living at the time, but he had a farm in Virginia. We would go to the farm on New Year’s Day and have a New Year’s Day party. The times that we were together with family was at my grandparents mostly. It was the meeting spot.

I looked up to my parents a lot and I still do. I’ve always been close to my parents and had a good relationship with them. I never did the teenage angst thing. I respect that they work hard and are honest people. I’ve always looked up to and respected them.

I think I did at that time too.

Some of Katy’s CDs.

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My mom stayed at home and then she went to work later when I was older in school. She’s kind of straightforward but not too serious. She has a good sense of humor. My dad was an FBI profiler, so to a lot of people he was very serious, but he’s always just

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been a teddy bear. He was very, “The law is the law.”

We have always had a very good relationship, but we would kind of butt heads because we are similar. He has a good moral compass, and I admire that.

COOL EXPERIENCES After high school, my friend and I went to France.

My aunt and uncle lived there, and so my parents said they would send me. I told my friend, “Well why don’t you come with me?” She said her parents would probably not let her go. We asked and they said she could, so we went to France. That trip was fantastic.

Katy with one of her friends.

I remember going to Giverny and, from the train, you had to take a cab. On the cab ride back, you had to set up a certain time to make it back to the train to get back to Paris. My friend and I, we didn’t speak French, and other people were butting in front of us. They cut the cab we wanted to catch or something like that.

Finally, by the time we got into the cab to go back to my aunt and uncle’s, we already missed the train. So, we had to spend like hours in this little town, but it turned it out nice and it’s a beautiful town. We got to see the town that we wouldn’t have seen. So that was a bad thing turned good. I remember trying to tip someone and they were like, “We don’t tip honey.”

I was like, “Just take the money!”

We also went to go see Notre Dame and when we got off of the subway, we couldn’t find it. We couldn’t find a massive church! So, we turned around. We did not look very hard; it was so stupid.

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90s 70s FRIENDS My best friends were Meredith Harris, Lauren Perry, and Allison Bash in the 90s. We mostly did everything together but towards the end of high school we started separating. Meredith and Allison became closer, and we all kind of went our own ways, which is just what happens. But I would say we were pretty tight.

We became friends in elementary school and then went to high school together. I would say it was kind of a hodgepodge group. Allison was a cheerleader, and Lauren was the proper one. She was super smart and was on the school paper. Meredith was fun; she played guitar and drove a cool car. Her father was in the navy, and she got to travel. I don’t know what I was. When we would hang out, Lauren had a pool and we would play video games at Meredith’s, like the original Nintendo Mario Brothers. I’ll play with my sons now they’re like, “Oh you can do this,” and I’m always like, “You don’t know. I know what I’m doing.”

SOCIAL LIFE My friends and I would have slumber parties and watch movies. I remember the one movie we watched, Shag. Then there was Young Gun [sic] and Gleaming the Cube. We liked the boys in these movies. We were like, “We like skateboarders,” because Christian Slater made a movie about skateboarding.

I’m not sure there was a particularly hot spot to hang out. If there was, I wasn’t privy to it. Football games

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were always popular at my school. Everyone was there. I was there. I didn’t go to hangouts often. With my friends, I would go to their houses and then there was a park we would hang out at too, but that was just my group of friends.

I think the concept of meeting someone online in the early 90s was unheard of. My friend got married in early 2000 and she had met her husband online.

“I think the concept of meeting someone online in the early 90s was unheard of.”

That was insane to me, and now I feel like that’s how everybody does it. I don’t know if that’s true or not.

I’m sure people go out to meet people. It seems like it is just about apps, first impressions, instead of seeing someone.

In the early 90s, I did not really date. The later 90s was when I would have been dating age. It was more about hanging out with someone or hanging out with a bunch of people and getting to know someone.

Then it came down to: “Do you like her? Do you like him?” After that, you might go out. Getting to know someone before going out was big. It all tended to be Katy McAskill

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within your circle. Mary Washington is a pretty small college so you have friends who have friends who would come visit. So, your circle extended that way.

It wasn’t like I swiped left or right which is very crazy to me.

TV & MOVIES With television, I watched Friends. I remember running in when the music started. That’s probably the one show I recall. I don’t know why I watched it. I didn’t look up to or relate to the characters. It was just funny.

I don’t remember if Beverly Hills, 90210 was 90s, but I watched that. I totally watched too much television, but I couldn’t tell you what I was watching. It was just mindless. My favorite movie was Goonies. It’s got good one-liners in it, adventure and humor.

MUSIC

90s NIKE vintage windbreaker.

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My music changed a lot through the 90s. In the beginning, I listened to Bon Jovi and Guns ‘n Roses.

I listened to that type of music because my brother listened to it. I was listening to what he was listening to since he was going out and buying music. I was influenced a lot by my friends and what they listened to. So, I was friends with someone who liked the Grateful Dead, so then I started listening to them.

Then it changed a lot from high school to college.

I started College in ’96; I started listening to what I would say is more my music taste now. I listened to Avail, Tuscadero, and Superchunk, which is [sic] a vast difference from what I listened to in high school.

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My roommate in college listened to that type of music and introduced me to it. I would say that’s probably what I enjoy now and what I would choose to listen to.

Avail is a band from Richmond, Virginia. They were a smaller band; they were not on the radio much, so you could go to shows at a club in D.C. and see who you’re listening to. It was more accessible. The record store downtown carried all of the bands. I have all these CDs still. They are not even making cars with CD players anymore, and I have all these CDs. I got boxes of them. The bands were indie punk or pop punk, like Elliot Smith.

I like the music I was introduced to in the later 90s.

I think, with 80s music, there’s something special about it. You would still hear it through the 90s whereas I think a lot of the more popular music in the 90s there’s a few songs I think that you’ll continue hearing. But I don’t think it’ll hang on like the 80s.

Katy’s family at Thanksgiving dinner.

The small club music has changed. The clubs I used to go to expanded and are bigger clubs. It’s not as accessible. You’re not standing right in front of the musician; I liked that. You are looking at them from a balcony.

CELEBRITIES In the 90s, I liked Corey Haim. But Corey Haim I saw in this movie Dream a Little Dream. There was another guy, what’s his name. . .I can picture him.

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90s ONKYO Tuner.

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90s 70s He’s a very outspoken Christian now. Kirk Cameron!

He was a cute boy, and I was all about the cute boys– no substance there. I was not looking to [sic] celebrities to look up to; it was just entertainment.

One time–I don’t remember how old I was–it was my birthday, and I had gone to work with my father the day before for whatever reason. Then he said, “Oh Geena Davis is coming to my work tomorrow.” I was like, “Excuse me? I have to come to work with you tomorrow.” He said, “No you came to work with me today,” so he made me stay home and go to school.

But then she called me to wish me a happy birthday.

She was like, “Hi, this is Geena Davis. How are you? I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.” We didn’t meet in person, but she called me at home.

TRENDS I’m just trying to think about what the trends were, but it’s so hard when you’re living it to say, “Oh this is a trend.” I see it now with my own kids. We flattened our hair. Body suits were big; they were horrible. I feel like they’re coming back now. I had a lot of bodysuits; one I had was striped though I don’t remember what color the stripes were.

Delia’s catalog was big, maybe that had the trendy clothes. Clothes wise, I do not think I was on trend.

I might have tried to be, but my friends weren’t either.

There were the dresses with the boots, I think I tried it once, but I was mostly a jeans and t-shirts person.

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Vanilla Ice was around in the 90s. I remember dating a boy who my brother and his friends called Vanilla Ice. Overall, I wasn’t in with the trends.

“I remember dating a boy who my brother and his friends called ‘Vanilla Ice.’”

NEWS I remember listening to the OJ Simpson verdict in school. I don’t remember reactions and I don’t think it caused any issues in the school. I’m not sure about other schools in other places. Maybe I had blinders on and maybe I was naive.

TECHNOLOGY I remember going to school, and we had internet. I was like, “I can look stuff up on this?” It was all new.

Internet was not a part of high school. It wasn’t until college. That’s when I got acquainted with it. I had a computer in my room at college, and it was very archaic compared to what there is now. That was just crazy to me. I also had an email. I was constantly checking my email because I had just left all my friends. The instant gratification of having heard from friends was crazy.

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GOALS & DREAMS I did not have a plan for my future. I had gone to school so then I was going to go to college because it was what you did. I applied to George Mason and Mary Washington and I went to Mary Washington because my dad liked the campus. I wasn’t thinking too far in the future. I was very concerned about doing what I was supposed to do and so I went to college. I don’t think it was wasted time or anything, but it was definitely about “I’m going to do this because it’s what I’m supposed to do.” Friends always said, “Well I’m going to go back to school and I’m going to do this.” My friends were very sure of what they were going to do, and I knew that I was not. I majored in English because I like to read, and I figured if I was going to be taking a majority of classes in the major, I should do something I enjoy doing.

Even after college, I just got jobs. I didn’t have a career. I remember in high school I said I was not going to have kids. It wasn’t until having my son, Jude, that I was like, “No that’s [sic] my career.”

Then I stayed home.

Katy right before prom.

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OVERALL 90s VIEW The 90s was the beginning of the “me” generation. I think that’s when it started. “It’s all about me.” What comes to mind is when you’re driving, and people aren’t paying attention; they’re just thinking about themselves in their little bubble in their car. You’re trying to get somewhere so it’s all about me.

90s 70s I think across the board there is a lack of respect for everybody. The Internet is extremely culpable, Facebook specifically. People are faceless so you can say whatever you want and then turn it off and not listen to anybody’s response.

“People have their minds set on what they think and they’re not open to anything else.”

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they’re not communicating and that completely cuts off human connection.

Human connection was around more in the 90s.

You didn’t have the option of writing something and turning off your computer. If you were having a conversation, typically it was face to face or on the phone. Technology has given the tools for just shutting people out. As much as it’s meant to connect people, it’s done the complete opposite.

BIO Katy McAskill ended up going to Mary Washington University. She and her husband live with their children right down the road from her alumni school. She enjoys photography and being a stay at home mom.

HUMAN CONNECTION Human connection is the ability to have a conversation with somebody about shared interests, whether you agree or disagree; to have a civil conversation with somebody and not spew your opinion and plug your ears. I think that is the biggest problem. The lack of human connection is the absolute inability to listen to somebody else without thinking about what you’re going to say next. People have their minds set on what they think and they’re not open to anything else.

There is complete lumping of if you support this, then you’re this, this, and this. Everything comes down to communication. From kids fighting over something to adults. Adults are acting like kids;

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CHAPTER 9

VALERIE DANIELSON 82

Valerie Danielson

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Valerie is a friend of a friend that I met a few years ago. Her bright outgoing personality is clearly shown through her recollection of this decade. She talks about growth and how you cannot be defined by high school. She is a real inspiration and offers her inspiring advice throughout.

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SOCIETY The expectation was that you would finish high school. We didn’t have a lot of troublemakers when we were in school. There were I think 420 graduating seniors. But we were expected to graduate from high school and either go to college or get a job. We didn’t live at home. At that point in time, college was such a huge thing. It was not as expensive as what [sic] it is now. Christopher Newport, which is where I went to college in the fall of 1999, was around $8000 a year to live on campus with all your meals included.

There were 3000 students and the majority of them commuted there. There was one dorm at the time.

So just think what we are in 2020, CNU now has, I think, five dorms and they have 20,000 students or some ridiculous amount. The average price to go per semester or per year–I think it’s upwards of 20 grand to live there. So very different, but I think the majority of my graduating class pursued college. That was just what we did.

FAMILY I have one brother, Joe, and then we have, I think, there’s six or seven [cousins] on each side of the family. Everybody was here for the most part. There are six grandchildren on my mom side and there are seven on my dad side and I’m the oldest of all the kids on my mom side it’s me, my brother Joe, then my cousin and everybody kind of cascades down from there. On the other side, Joe and I were both kind of smack dab in the middle. They were somewhat of our

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age, but they all went to Spotsylvania schools. We stayed in Stafford and they stayed in Spotsylvania.

My brother was a cool kid. He was just fun, and I remember going to watch him play hockey a lot when I was getting ready to go to college in 1999. He actually had a tournament in Chicago that we all went to. I spent the majority of my 90s in hockey rinks and going to root for him in whatever he was doing.

I didn’t like my parents at the time, but who does like their parents? I didn’t know success-wise what they had done. We lived in the same house our entire lives and we didn’t have super nice things. They had done really well with no education. They worked part-time jobs and full-time jobs and they have everything now.

Mentally and emotionally, I always needed to be like my parents. At the end of day, when I look at it, I was more like them at that point than I ever thought I was.

COOL EXPERIENCES

Valerie’s high school portraits

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I was babysitting for a family and their dad worked for Edward Jones. I had just turned 16 and gotten contacts. The dad won a trip down to Virginia Beach for a weekend away. While we were in Virginia Beach, he then found out he won a trip. . .I can’t remember what was first, if we went to Disney first or we went to Aruba, but eventually, I ended up in Aruba in the late 90s. I went as their sitter, and the only thing I had to pay for was my plane ticket. We stayed at this beautiful resort. They had meals for us, and I took care of their kids. I was on this eight-mile island–that’s

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what I was there for. We were at the pool and I could order anything that I wanted. It was spot on.

It was not like some hole in the wall resort. I think it was the Marriott. I went on some really killer vacations with them.

I spent a lot of my teenage years with them babysitting and making killer money at like $5 an hour.

That was the going rate and it was awesome because what did I have to do? I didn’t have a cell phone to pay for. I only had to put gas in my car because I had a car that my parents gave me. Now I look back and I’m like, “My daughter will never have that,” because you’ll have to have a cell phone and you’ll have to have a car. It is not as common as it was then where you trusted people and we didn’t have cell phones.

I had to get there [to my babysitting job], call my mom and tell her I was there and that I got there safely. The family lived out in the woods somewhere, and the dad would come pick me up, drive to their house on Friday night and I’d come home on Sundays.

FRIENDS Valerie’s senior class mug.

My best friend in high school was Lexi Keaton who ended up going to VCU (Virginia Commonwealth University), and we kind of grew apart. I was not cool in high school; I was a big old nerd. I had chorus friends and I knew people.

Lexi did band the first year and then she dated a cool kid through I think our senior year, but we just hung out. We would have sleepovers, and her sister was Valerie Danielson

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90s 70s younger than us, I think a little bit older than Joe. Once she [the sister] got to be of age where she could drive, she would just drive us around and we just hung out. There was no pressure, not like it is today. You have to post a photo Instagram wherever you are, and that is what it is about now. You never had any of that.

If you could get a good shot with a regular camera and you got it developed 6 months later and it was a good shot, great. If not, well, that’s okay too.

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TV & MOVIES My favorite show was Buffy Vampire the Slayer, still would be if my husband would let me watch it all the time. I remember The Lion King came out in the 90s and I do remember going to see that at the Virginians.

I would have been a teenager, but that was such a big thing; it was a huge Disney movie. I think 10 things I Hate About You came out when I was in high school.

It would have been the fall or the spring of ‘99 that came out. Then I also had all these VHS tapes.

SOCIAL LIFE Let’s see. When I was in high school, the hot spot was probably Spanky’s [in] downtown. It was popular because you could go there and not get carded. So kids in high school went and they wanted to drink at the age of 14, 15, 16. So that’s where they would go downtown, and it is now Capital Ale House.

We did a lot of just driving around from place to place because it was a small town; there was nothing to do. If you were not going to the movies, the mall, or Spanky’s, there really was nothing to do. We used to do Virginians which is no longer there. It was in a strip mall that was a drive-in movie a long time ago and then it was the crappy movie theater for a very long time. They would have on Monday nights a $0.75 movie night. So you could go see a movie that had been in the theaters which had moved from the regular theater to Virginians for $0.75. You would get a bag of popcorn and it was like, “This is awesome.

Monday night–like what else is there?” I didn’t do the drugs; I wasn’t into that.

“We had VHS tapes that were labeled over, crossed out, and labeled over...”

ER was a big show and Friends was huge. Rosanne, I watched through the 90s. 30 minutes or less, that was the key because we were busy outside and going to do activities. I wasn’t allowed to watch Beverly Hills or Melrose Place, and those were really big in middle school and high school. We had VHS tapes that were labeled over, crossed out, and labeled over because you would record it; much like a mix tape.

MUSIC I listened to every type of music. Let’s see. In the [early] 90s, what was really big was grunge music Valerie Danielson

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and all that band type stuff. I look at it now and I’m like I don’t even care for the sound, but then you listened to everything. I was a huge Sarah McLachlan fan. I went to Lilith Fair in high school twice. I wasn’t a big concert goer; I never had the means to go. I loved everything much like I do now. Britney Spears had just come out with the Oops I Did It Again, I think, my senior year, so that was starting to be a big thing.

Christina Aguilera was starting to be a big thing, and all of that poppy type music had started to come back.

I don’t remember in middle school what we would have listened to. I think it was the same type or maybe it was Biggie Smalls. I listened to more 80s music. I was born in ‘81. I’m still fascinated with that decade.

When I turned 30, I had a 80s birthday. I had tapes for a tape deck. I can remember getting a CD player like in the early 90s for Christmas one year. My New Kids on the Block was a tape.

TRENDS

CD sleeve.

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Valerie Danielson

Flannel shirts for that grunge look was a trend for a little while. I feel like everything stemmed from the music you listened to. In the early 90s, it was that grunge. If your hair was messy and you had a flannel shirt, you were awesome. Then, once we got into high school, you just found your own way. I don’t feel like there was ever like a real right or a real wrong; it was however you felt when you rolled out of bed that day. Sometimes people wore pajama pants to school because we had to be at school at 7:00 o’clock in the morning. And who wants to get dressed?

90s 70s GOALS & DREAMS I wanted to go to college. Nobody in my family had ever been. My parents didn’t go. My dad didn’t even graduate high school, and my mom moved around so she graduated from a school in New York. I wanted to be the first. On my dad side, as I said, there’s 7 of them [relatives], and they all went to Spotsylvania schools; they all had learning disabilities; and they all were the cool kids. I just wanted to do better than that. I wanted to get away from this town. I did not want to

“I wasn’t out of my shell until I got into college...”

be that far, but I wanted to go somewhere. I had no idea where I wanted to go. I did not have the grades to go anywhere spectacular. I wasn’t getting a scholarship, but I knew I wanted to go somewhere. I feel like some people let high school define them, but if you can get through it and get to the next chapter of your life, that’s even better.

OVERALL 90s VIEW In the 90s, I was in my teens, so everything affects you [sic]. I wasn’t out of my shell until I got into college where it was my time to shine. When you are in your teens, you let everything affect you which would have

80s

been high school and me not being the most popular.

That wasn’t something that got me down once I got into college. It makes you who you are because if you can get through that and be a stronger person, then you can get there. I would never be where I am if I had not persevered through high school.

HUMAN CONNECTION In the 90s, you had your telephone in your room or on the counter, and my parents always knew who I was talking to, what we were talking about. At our house, if you have somebody come over, you don’t close the door, they are family too [sic]. There is not that personal touch unfortunately. I’m prone to it too; if I can text somebody instead of calling somebody, I’ll do that. But that doesn’t necessarily give me that human connection because it’s remote to remote and it does not allow you to have that deeper feeling. I want it to mean something.

But, at the same time, my kids can FaceTime with their grandparents every day. [Technology] has improved us, but it has also taken away from us playing outside and having to make an effort to go down the street to that person across the river. I think it is just stepping away from technology. It allows you to not have any personal connection with people.

BIO Valerie Danielson attended Christopher Newport University. She resides in King George, Virginia with her husband and two children.

She enjoys hockey and making special moments with her family.

Valerie Danielson

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SECTION FOUR CHAPTER TEN:

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Conclusion

Conclusion

CONCLUSION From these interviews, I’ve learned about a variety of people. As I expected, these people lived the similar lives that my generation and younger generations are living. They had to make comparable decisions and learned the same lessons, just in a different time.

What I did not know was that my findings would enlighten me more than I originally thought. There is a much bigger picture when it comes to human connection and the interviewees showed me that through their growth in high school.

COMPARE & CONTRAST To summarize the 70s, the interviewees had two completely different perspectives. On one hand, it was about responsibility while on the other it was about trying to be comfortable in yourself. You had to create your own success while struggling with your personal issues. Having these opposite views rounded out my own of the decade. People were experiencing the same emotions that I had and still have. The self-doubt and lack of confidence are just some of the similarities I had to them.

From their descriptions, I feel that the 70s promoted responsibility. The freedom I often hear about was focused on the ability to go anywhere you wanted when you were a kid. But it was also about you taking charge of your life. Growing up was about understanding who you were. The parents told you to go out and do something, so that’s what you did.

When it comes to the 80s, self-expression ruled over everything. The couple I interviewed talked about their high school experience with a twinkle in their eyes. They talked about freedoms similar to the 70s such as doing whatever they wanted. They had a deep love for music, and the 70s influenced their taste. While 80s music was popular, I learned that some people took the 70s music and made it popular in the 80s.

I gather that the 80s was about enjoying life and connecting with people. Technology was still limited, so you were on your bikes riding around or sitting for hours just listening to music. You were inspired by life around you.

The 90s is where I started to see some changes.

College was the main goal–more than past decades I would say. Both women described their high school experience as the next step of life before going out and becoming somebody. They were both unsure of what they wanted to do; they just knew that college was the next step in growing up. Maturity was a common theme in both interviews. They came to respect their parents and saw the value of following a structured path into adulthood.

I discovered that the 90s might not have as much of an impact as the 70s and 80s did when it came to fashion and pop culture. I thought that the decade had defining themes and moments. It might have,

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yet my interviewees talked about how they were just living in what they thought was an ordinary time.

The question is, how has my generation changed from these past generations? I would argue my generation’s sense of responsibility is unbalanced because we do not care at all. Similarly, maturity is either promoted in kids too early or is disregarded altogether. From my own experiences, many children are not as innocent as they used to be. When I was eight, I did not know much about the outside world, while today, children and teenagers know so much; maybe too much.

Self-expression has turned into everything being about how you can benefit yourself alone. Our dream jobs have become about branding ourselves and how we can make money. Nothing is wrong with this concept until things like social media take over.

Suddenly you are talking to others about yourself constantly. Your viewers and likes are more important than how your work can impact the lives around you.

Becoming famous has always been a dream of many, but in today’s society it has become much easier to get there with little to no talent.

LIFE magazine page.

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Conclusion

Multiple interviewees talked about how technology has made us not want to connect with people in person as much and that is true of my generation.

We lack the ability to confront issues head on and we hide behind our phones. Our virtual lives have become our safety zone. We want connection, but do not work hard for it.

WHAT I HAVE DISCOVERED Initially, when I was shaping this book concept, I wanted to focus on each decade and get mind-blowing perspectives on all the fashion trends and music of the time. I wanted to get six picture perfect interviewees that obsessed over the glories of the 70s, 80s, and 90s. But what they ended up giving me was six perspectives of young adults figuring out their lives. They were living to grow, not to stand still.

They wanted to experience more than what these decades gave them. They treasure their memories, but at that time, they were in the process of becoming their own people.

I know nothing is perfect, but I thought these decades came pretty close. Before every interview, I thought about the materialist aspects and fashion trends, totally forgetting the main purpose of the project was human connection. I kept thinking, “This is going to be the one where they will know all the trends.

They will have listened to the top hits and have crazy high school stories.” I was so focused on getting the right information.

However, as I interviewed, I was reminded of the bigger purpose. A few times, I even remember getting goosebumps from these interviewees’ stories and insights of their lives. From some simple questions, each person expressed themselves on a deeper level.

They were connecting with me.

I realized that the personal answers I received were much more important than whether the interviewee remembered what clothes were worn in a decade.

They were just living in a time that they did not know would be idolized by future generations. They were living like my generation is living.

Despite the fact that I was caught up in the thrill of the nostalgia, my interviewees brought me back to the real purpose: human connection. It has been an incredible experience of celebrating humanity. I hope that I have shown its value and that I have convinced you, my reader, that humanity needs to come back to its roots. Connect with others because that is the gift of being who we are. Human connection should be treasured by all because we are human and being human is a celebration.

Adele, Mark, Maura, Allen, Katy, and Valerie showed me the importance of a conversation. I’ve known each of these people for a while, and it was amazing to discover even more about them through their past.

They opened up to me and told me stories I had never heard them tell before. All I had to do was ask.

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BIBLIOGRAPHY Lowry, Lois. The Giver. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1993.

Simon & Garfunkel. “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” Bridge Over Troubled Water, 1970.

Stand By Me. Directed by Rob Reiner, performances by Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, and Kiefer Sutherland, Columbia Pictures, 1986.

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Bibliography

GLOSSARY A

C

Abbey Road: Album written by the Beatles.

Christina Aguilera: A singer and songwriter as well as an actress.

ACDC: Australian rock band featuring brothers Malcolm and Angus Young.

Corey Haim: Canadian actor that starred in multiple movies in the 80s.

A-ha: Synth pop band featuring Paul Waaktaar-Savoy, Magne Furuholmen, and Morten Harket.

Creedence Clearwater Revival: A rock band featuring John Fogerty, Tom Fogerty, Doug Clifford, Stu Cook.

America: A rock band from the 70s featuring Dewey Bunnell, Dan Peek and Gerry Beckley.

D

Andy Gibb: A pop star who was the brother of some of the Bee Gee band members. He had his own singing career.

Andy Griffith Show: Sitcom starring Andy Griffith, Don Knotts, and Ron Howard.

Art Garfunkel: A singer and poet. He was in a duo with Paul Simon and they made folk music.

B The Beach Boys: Rock band featuring Brian, Carl, and Dennis Wilson along with Mike Love and Al Jardine.

David Lee Roth: Musician and lead singer of the band Van Halen.

Doobie Brothers: Rock band that featured Tom Johnston, Patrick Simmons, Michael McDonald, and John McFee. The Doors: Rock band featuring Jim Morrison, Ray Manzarek, Robby Krieger, and John Densmore.

Dukes of Hazzard: Adventure and comedy show from the 1980s starring John Schneider, Catherine Bach, and Tom Wopat.

Duran Duran: A synth pop band featuring John Taylor, Simon Le Bon, Andy Taylor, Roger Taylor, and more.

The Beatles: UK rock pop band that was huge in the 60s featuring John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr.

E

Bee Gees: Disco pop band that was popular in the 70s primarily featuring the three Gibb brothers, Barry, Robin, and Maurice along with Don Henley.

Edgar Rice Burroughs: Author that wrote science fiction and fantasy books.

Bell-bottoms: Pants with a wide boot-cut leg.

Bridge Over Troubled Water: Both a song and album by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel in 1970.

Eagles: Rock band founded by Glenn Frey, Don Henley, Randy Meisner, and Bernie Leadon.

Eight Track Player: System that uses small tapes to play music.

Elvis Presley: A popular rock-n-roll singer and actor known as “The King.�

Buffy Vampire the Slayer: A horror drama show released in the late 90s. Performances by Sarah Gellar, Alyson Hannigan, Nicholas Brendon, and David Boreanaz.

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F Fair Isle Sweaters: Sweaters that have a pattern across the chest and shoulders.

Flashdance: Dancing film released in the 1980s and was directed

by Adrian Lyne.

Footloose: Teen dancing movie released in the 1980s and was directed by Herbert Ross.

G The Giver: Dystopian book from the 1990s written by Lois Lowry.

Love Boat: A romance show that featured many stars along with the main cast, Gavin MacLeod, Cynthia Lauren Tewes, and Theodore William Lange.

M Magnum, P.I.: A crime show starring Tom Selleck, John Hillerman, and Roger E. Mosley.

M*A*S*H: Sitcom about the army in the 70s starring Alan Alda, Loretta Swit, Gary Burghoff, and more.

Goldie Hawn: An actress that got big on Laugh-In.

Melrose Place: Drama show starring Heather Locklear, Courtney Thorne-Smith, and Josie Bissett.

Grunge: Alternative rock music and style. The style consisted of flannels and deteriorated clothing.

Music Man: Musical film made in the early 60s starring Robert Preston and Shirly Jones.

H

O

Hee Haw: Long running comedy show that had sketch acts and music.

OJ Simpson: Former football athlete, actor, and now a convicted felon.

Here Comes the Sun: Famous song performed by the Beatles.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: A psychological fiction book written by Ken Kesey.

High’s Dairy: Convenience store chain.

P

J Jane Austen: 1800s author known for her romance novels such as Pride and Prejudice.

Jaws: Thriller film directed by Steven Spielberg.

John Denver: A singer and songwriter who wrote folk pop music.

L Laugh-In: Comedy show hosted by Dan Rowen and Dick Martin.

Led Zeppelin: Rock band that featured Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, and John Bonham

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Glossary

Parachute pants: Baggy pants that taper in at the ankles.

Paul Simon: A singer, songwriter, and musician. He writes his own music and paired up with Art Garfunkel for a little while.

Pink Floyd: Rock band that featured David Gilmour, Roger Waters, Syd Barrett, Richard Wright, Nick Mason, and Bob Klose.

They were popular for their experimental taste.

S Sadie Hawkins Dance: A dance where a girl asks the guy to a dance.

Sarah McLachlan: A Canadian singer and songwriter known for her contemporary music style.

Sixteen Candles: Teen comedy released in the 1980s starring Molly Ringwald, Michael Schoeffling, Anthony Michael Hall, and John Cusack. Directed by John Hughes.

Stand by Me: Coming of age film that was released in 1986 starring Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, and Keifer Sutherland. Directed by Rob Reiner.

Steely Dan: Rock and jazz band founded by Walter Becker and Donald Fagen.

Silva Murder: Three girls murdered in Spotsylvania, Virginia by Richard Evonitz.

Stephen King: Author who has written many horror books.

V Valley girl: A girl from southern California that has a unique vocal style.

Van Halen: Rock band featuring Eddie Van Halen, David Lee Roth, and Sammy Hagar.

VHS tapes: VHS tapes are big cassettes that play movies on a VHS player. VHS stands for “Video Home System.”

Vo-tech: Vocational school where you can learn a trade.

W Wallabees: Shoes made by Clarks brand.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Emma Anderson was born in 1999 and is one of eight children. She loves to design, draw, write, binge shows, and hunt for new music.

She currently resides in her hometown of Fredericksburg, Virginia.