Handling Back-to-School Anxieties

Returning to the classroom can trigger an array of emotions in kids. Here’s how to tackle a few common scenarios head on.

By Stacey Feintuch

Like it or not, it’s time to say goodbye to the carefree days of summer and say hello to a new school year. Back-to-school stress impacts children of all ages: Younger kids may experience separation anxiety, while older ones may be stressed about increased academic pressure and college applications. During times of transition, anxiety is normal, but it’s usually manageable. Deal with back-to-school stress as a family to help your kids start the school year off right.

CHANGING SCHOOLS» Your child once

ruled the middle school but now they’re at the bottom of the pack as a first-year high school student. Or maybe your child is moving from a day care they’ve known for years. Changing schools can be an adjustment, but you can take measures to ease the transition.

Take a visit. Consider visiting the school in advance. Familiarizing kids with the environment can help them feel more comfortable. If possible, attend an orientation or open house, pointing out their classrooms, restrooms, water fountains, and other important places. You may even visit the school’s playground to show what recess will look like.

Get organized together. Purchase and label supplies. Make sure you’ve submitted all required health and emergency contact forms. Stock your refrigerator with meals and snacks for the first week (check out p. 26 for some fun ideas!). Choose a first-day-of-school outfit, backpack, and lunchbox to get kids more excited about going back. The more organized and prepared you are, the calmer and less stressed you’ll all feel. Read about it. A story about school can help ease the jitters. Talk to your local librarian about the right book for your child. Read the tale together and ask your child to share any concerns. Set the tone. Kids pick up on your feelings. That means if you’re nervous, sad, or worried, your kids will likely feel the same. Try not to ask leading questions (“Are you nervous about going back to school?”), which can indicate to your child that there really is something to worry about. Be happy and smile in front of your kids. Save the tears for when you’re alone.

BEING THE NEW KID» Moving to a new town is hard enough let alone being the new kid in the classroom. Fortunately, starting school at the beginning of the year should help since everyone is in a new situation. Discuss information about the routine. Kids often worry about the little aspects of school. They wonder who will take them to school and pick them up. Or they’re uncertain where to go once they get to school. They may question what they’ll be eating for lunch. Review the school routine with them to ease their minds.

Validate their feelings. It’s important for parents to stay positive. If a child is nervous, that’s okay. Say, “I’m so proud of you for going to school.” Share your stories. You were the new kid once, too. Discuss those memories and experiences with your children. Talk about friends you made or a favorite teacher, always staying upbeat and optimistic. And discuss positive aspects of your children’s school, like an amazing playground or extensive library. Be on time. Don’t stress out your children by running late on day one. Get as much as possible ready the night before, laying out clothing, backpacks, and lunchboxes so everything is set. And allow enough time in the morning to get ready—and take some first day of school pictures!—so you don’t have to rush out the door.

Emphasize that they’re not alone. Remind your kids that they’re not the only new ones at school. Even some teachers are new. Tell them that the teacher is aware of nerves and will do their best to make kids feel more comfortable.

LINGERING COVID CONCERNS»Many kids haven’t had

in-person schooling for a full day since March 2020. Perhaps

their school had a remote, hybrid, or half-day model. Going to school full time can seem foreign. Establish open communication. Let your child know that you’re always available to talk about anything and everything. A good time to chat is before lights out. They often open up and feel comfortable and safe right before bed. It’s when they’re getting 1-on-1 attention and feel relaxed. Be present. Aim to be there for your child right before school starts and during the first few days back to help them feel more secure. If you can’t be there, ask a friend or family member to take on this role for you. Plan something special. Give them something to look forward to—like a trip for an ice cream cone or a visit to a favorite playground. That way they’ll anticipate a fun activity. You can even make it an annual tradition.

Emphasize safety measures. We can’t promise our kids that we won’t get sick, but we can express confidence in public health efforts, and that schools have done months of planning to minimize risk and keep everyone safe. Encourage flexibility. We don’t know how “normal” most kids’ schools will be in the fall, and plans may be changing up to the last minute. Let your child know that the whole family will have to be flexible.

WORKLOAD STRESS» For those who spent months out of traditional in-person school due to the pandemic, returning to the classroom may feel scary. They may worry and wonder if they have the skills to get the job done after sitting behind a computer for so long Create a homework routine. Predictability and structure reduce stress in kids and reinforce good habits, particularly when it comes to tackling schoolwork. Create a designated homework space in the house away from the chaos. Let the kids decorate and stock the space to make it feel like their special spot. Hit the hay early. No more staying up late catching fireflies or playing video games. Kids need to go to sleep early enough so they’re well-rested for school. Get them into their school bedtime routine a week or two before school starts so they’re back on track before day one. Hire a tutor. If you sense they’re anxious about a particular subject, like math or reading, consider hiring a tutor. A tutor can get them back on track academically and help boost their confidence in the classroom.

Stacey Feintuch is a freelance writer for print and online publications based in Bergen County, NJ. A mom to two boys, you’ll find her at the baseball diamond on the weekends.

Academy of the Holy Angels

315 Hillside Ave., Demarest, NJ 201-768-7822 holyangels.org admissions@holyangels.org

Founded by the School Sisters of Notre Dame in 1879, the Academy of the Holy Angels welcomes girls in sixth to 12th grades. Students from various religious traditions enjoy this private Catholic school’s top-flight education, which emphasizes scholarship, character, leadership, and service.

Blue Rock School

110 Demarest Mill Road, West Nyack 845-627-0234 bluerockschool.org

Blue Rock School offers a unique, hands-on, progressive education. Our creative academic curriculum is infused with the arts, nature, and play from kindergarten through eighth grade. By nurturing children’s love of learning, developing their skills, and encouraging critical thinking, we prepare them for a changing world.

Bright Beginnings Preschool & Childcare

6 Charles St., New City 2 Mountainview Court, Pomona 914-420-5785 brightbeginningsofrockland.com

We offer two great locations to meet your preschool and child care needs for infants to school-age. Owned and operated by a NYS-certified elementary teacher, we follow a full NYS pre-K curriculum, offer before- and after-school care, virtual learning, NYS-licensed/ NAFCC accredited facility. Staff are CPR- and first aid-certified.

Green Meadow Waldorf School

307 Hungry Hollow Road, Chestnut Ridge 845-356-2514 gmws.org

Green Meadow Waldorf School offers a beautiful 11-acre campus, busing from Westchester/NYC, and outdoor learning spaces. Our focus this year prioritizes our core values: diversity, equity, and inclusion; COVID-19 safety protocols and a healthy campus; strong daily rhythms; deep relationships; and place-based education for the whole person.

Immaculate Heart Academy (IHA)

500 Van Emburgh Ave., Township of Washington, NJ 201-445-6800 immaculateheartnj.com thopfenspirger@ihanj.com

Immaculate Heart Academy is an all-female college preparatory regional high school in the Archdiocese of Newark. By cultivating the traditional Christian values of the Roman Catholic Church and instilling in its students a sense of responsibility, confidence, justice, peace, and compassion, IHA’s purpose is the complete education of young women.

Kreative Kids & Vicki’s Dance Studio

61 Maple Ave., New City 845-634-2202 vickistudio.com

Kreative Kids is a toddler and nursery program for ages 16 months to 4 years (diapers welcomed)! Classes are divided by age. We offer arts and crafts, music with instruments, singing, creative movement, tumbling, story time, snack time, and early learning skills. We offer small class sizes and flexible, extended hours.

The Reform Temple of Rockland Religious School

330 N. Highland Ave., (Route 9W), Upper Nyack 845-358-2248 rtrny.org

RTR’s inclusive religious school starts students out on a journey of Jewish discovery and learning. Our curriculum combines play, conversation, and integration, which creates a welcoming learning environment for all students. Plus, our new hybrid program offers convenient, virtual, 1-on-1 learning including an in-person experience on Sundays.

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SHOPPING DESTINATIONS

These outlets and malls in our area are one-stop shops for your kids’ back-to-school clothing and accessory needs.

By Barbara Russo

The good news: Kids are going back to school in-person after more than a year of remote and hybrid learning. The not-so-good news? It’s time for kids to trade in those comfy sweatpants and pajamas for clothes that can cut it in the classroom.

It may have been a while since you’ve done back-to-school shopping for the kids, but don’t worry—we made it easy for parents with our guide to local shopping malls and outlets in the region. Our list aims to make the shopping experience a fun and easy one. It has malls that offer lots of online deals and discounts to see in advance of your trip, personal shopping and concierge services, and food courts and restaurants when you need to take a break and refresh. Each destination has stores that sell clothes and accessories for kids of all ages. (But don’t forget to pick up a little something for yourself, too!)

ROCKLAND COUNTY

Palisades Center

1000 Palisades Center Drive, West Nyack palisadescenter.com 845-348-1000

Hours: Monday-Saturday, 10am-9:30pm; Sunday, 11am-7pm Located in the Lower Hudson Valley, the four-level Palisades Center is home to 225 brands. And when your kids need a break from shopping (and to get out some of their energy), you can stop by 16 sit-down restaurants, a bowling alley, ice rink, indoor ropes course, and more.

The Shops at Nanuet

5101 Fashion Drive, Nanuet simon.com/mall/the-shops-at-nanuet 845-367-9450

Hours: Monday-Thursday, 11am-8pm; Friday-Saturday, 10am-9pm; Sunday, 12-6pm This open-air shopping center is home to stores such as Baby Gap, Gap Kids, and more. Select stores are offering back-toschool discounts, so check the website before you head out!

ORANGE COUNTY

Woodbury Common Premium Outlets

498 Red Apple Court, Central Valley premiumoutlets.com/outlet/ woodbury-common 845-928-7467

Hours: Monday-Thursday, 11am-8pm; Friday-Sunday, 10am-9pm Shop 250 high-end fashion brand outlets here, including Gap Kids and Carter’s. Visit the center’s website to find out which stores are offering back-to-school discounts.

WESTCHESTER COUNTY

Cross County Center

8000 Mall Walk, Yonkers crosscountycenter.com 914-968-9570

Hours: Monday-Saturday, 10am9:30pm; Sunday, 11am-7pm Located minutes from The Bronx and Manhattan, this sprawling shopping destination is home to more than 80 shops and restaurants. Retailers include The Children’s Place, Adidas, Claire’s, and Cohens’ Fashion Optical. Visit the mall’s website to see featured products for back-to-school.

Galleria White Plains

100 Main St., White Plains galleriaatwhiteplains.com 914-682-0111

Hours: Monday-Sunday, 11am-7pm An indoor shopping mall that includes a variety of clothing retailers for the whole family. Visit the deals section on the website to see upcoming sales, including up to 60 percent off at The Children’s Place through Sept. 30.

Ridge Hill

1 Ridge Hill Blvd., Yonkers ridgehill.com 914-207-2900

Hours: Monday-Saturday, 10am-9pm; Sunday, 11am-7pm Ridge Hill is a classic multi-level and onestop shop for kids’ back-to-school needs, including clothing, electronics, and other supplies. Stores include Dick’s Sporting Goods, L.L. Bean, GAP, and Apple. There are many family entertainment options, too, including a trampoline park, LEGOLAND Discovery Center Westchester, and, set to open in October, a movie theater.

The Westchester

125 Westchester Ave., White Plains simon.com/mall/the-westchester 914-421-1333

Hours: Monday-Thursday, 11am-8pm; Friday-Saturday, 10am-9pm; Sunday, 11am-6pm Centrally located near the communities of Chappaqua, Scarsdale, Bedford, and Rye, The Westchester features 140 luxury stores including Tiffany & Co., Burberry, Nordstrom, and Neiman Marcus. Kids of all ages will enjoy this year’s back-to-school section on the website, which features fashion tips to ensure confidence from style expert, Brianna Reed. (One tip from Reed: Trends come and go, don’t let them dictate your style!)

Check out Family Perks on the website to see special offers, discounts, dining deals, and amenities for all things family at the mall.

The Shops at Riverside

390 Hackensack Ave., Hackensack simon.com/mall/the-shops-at-riverside 201-489-0151

Hours: Monday-Thursday, 11am8pm; Friday-Saturday, 10am-9pm This luxury shopping destination spans two levels and is anchored by

Bloomingdale’s, Barnes & Noble, an

AMC Dine-in Theatre, and a full-service day spa. Shops include Crewcuts and J.Crew.

Westfield Garden State Plaza

BERGEN COUNTY, NJ

Bergen Town Center

Route 4 East and Forest Avenue, Paramus bergentowncenter.com 201-845-4050

Hours: Monday-Saturday, 10am-9:30pm Being an indoor mall with additional outlying stores, Bergen Town Center has many major and upscale shops, including Saks OFF 5th, Bloomingdale’s The Outlet Store, Nordstrom Rack, Nike Factory Store, and more. Sign up online for the mall’s coupon booklet that provides discounts to many designer stores on-site.

Paramus Park

700 Paramus Park, Paramus 201-261-6108 paramuspark.com

Hours: Monday-Saturday, 10am-8pm Paramus Park has more than 85 stores, including The Children’s Place, L.L. Bean, Torrid, and Express.

1 Garden Staten Plaza, Paramus westfield.com/gardenstateplaza 201-843-2121

Hours: Monday-Thursday, 10am-9pm; Friday-Saturday, 10am-9:30pm Boasts more than 200 major and upscale stores, including Janie and Jack, Old Navy, the Disney Store, Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Gucci, Apple, and more. Check the website for the latest deals and offers.