The Stony Brook Press, Volume 34 Issue 1

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2012

VOLUME XXXIV, ISSUE 1

TABLE OF CONTENTS EDITORIALS Reel Big Fish

4

Move in Day Chaplain Nadim Printing

6 7 8

NEWS

FEATURES

Know Your Rights On Watch Sexiled Lumpy’s and S3 Apps For College Parking Freshman Advice Campus Map Campus Dining New Staller Sign

CULTURE

9 10 12 13 14 16 18 19 20 21

MOVIES Premium Rush Hope Springs

22 23

MUSIC Nutshell Reel Big Fish

COMICS

OPINION

28 24 33

Bill Nye Conventions

34 35

Swim Team Football

36 37

SPORTS

THE STONY BROOK PRESS EXECUTIVE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR BUSINESS MANAGER ART DIRECTOR PRODUCTION MANAGER NEWS EDITOR NEWS EDITOR FEATURES EDITOR CULTURE EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR WEB EDITOR OPINION EDITOR PHOTO EDITOR PHOTO EDITOR COPY EDITOR COPY EDITOR MINISTER OF ARCHIVES OMBUDSMAN

NICK BATSON TOM JOHNSON EVAN GOLDAPER JASMINE HAEFNER JESSE CHANG MARK GREEK ARIELLE DOLLINGER JODIE MANN ALYSSA MELILLO SAM LIEBRAND BEATRICE VANTAPOOL ETHAN FREEDMAN BRIANNA PETERSON OLIVIA BURNE REBECCA TAPIO SARAH EVINS NICOLE KOHN DANIEL CASHMAR LIZ KAEMPF

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STAFF VINCENT BARONE TERICHI BELLINGER CHRISTINE BOUCHER SIOBHAN CASSIDY LAUREN DUBOIS JOHN FISCHER ARIAM FREZGHI HALLIE GOLDEN

JOSHUA HA PRISCILA KORB BUSHRA MOLLICK MATTHEW MURRAY TEENA NAWABI BRIANA NEUBERGER HOWIE NEWSBERKMAN VANESSA OGLE

The Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly during the academic year and twice during summer session by The Stony Brook Press, a student-run non-profit organization funded by the Student Activity Fee. The opinions expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints do not necessarily reflect those of The Stony Brook Press as a whole.

Advertising policy does not necessarily reflect editorial policy.

Staff meetings are held Wednesdays at 1:00PM. First copy free. For additional copies contact the Business Manager.

CHRIS PRIORE ANDY POLHAMUS MATT WILLEMAIN

The Stony Brook Press Suites 060&061 Student Union SUNY at Stony Brook Stony Brook, NY 11794-3200 Email: editors@sbpress.com

EDITORIALS September 10, 2012

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4

Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

LETTERS

5

NEWS September 10, 2012

STONY BROOK CHAPLAIN VISITS WHITE HOUSE

by Olivia Burne

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

“NEWS”

#MOVEIN2012 #DOPESTSHIT

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7

NEWS September 10, 2012

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

FEATURES

KNOW YOUR DORM RIGHTS

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9

FEATURES September 10, 2012

.-6 3"' (2 6 3"'(-& 8.4

by Alyssa Melillo

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10

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11

FEATURES September 10, 2012

DOING THE DIRTY ON THE DL AND OTHER SEXILED STORIES

by Bushra Mollick

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12

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

FEATURES

LUMPY’S AND S3 FALL FLAT

by John Fischer

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13

FEATURES September 10, 2012

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14

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

FEATURES

VGDQD XNT KDES NƤ NM XNTQ LNAHKD CDUHBD 8NT B@M FQ@A HS NƤ SGD OO 2SNQD ENQ ʙ @#+3-$H-83=#E,6-&#L&<-#*-#4#(&466;#-6*5D#4"8#'+6*-%&8# MDVR QD@CDQ ENQ XNTQ H/@C NQ MCQHNC CDUHBD 4MKHJD %KHO9 =+4(8# <%*5%# 477(&74$&-# 5+"$&"$# .(+1# ;+,(# -+5*46# 1&8*4# @BBNTMSR /TKRD VNQJR LNQD @R @ 122 QD@CDQ SG@M @MXSGHMF &6-&>#!.#;+,@(&#,-*"7#$%&#4''#*$-&6.#.+(#;+,(#5+"$&"$3#;+,(#+'9 $*+"-#4(&#6*1*$&8#4$#$%&#-$4($3#4-#;+,#5%++-&#-+,(5&-#$+#=&# CHROK@XDC HM XNTQ EDDC NQ ƥQRS řO@FDŚ EQNL @ OQDCDSDQLHMDC -&$#+.#-+,(5&->#G%&#"*5&#$%*"7#4=+,$#E,6-&#*-#$%4$#;+,#54"# 488#488*$*+"46#'47&-#<%*5%#54"#=&#8*(&5$6;#-;"5&8#$+#;+,(# &NNFKD 1D@CDQ @BBNTMS NQ RDS TO CHƤDQDMSKX SG@S V@X XNT CNMŗS G@UD @ SNM NE CHƤDQDMS TMQDK@SDC RNTQBDR BKTSSDQHMF NMD EDDC 8NT B@M FDS /TKRD -DVR ENQ EQDD @S SGD OO 2SNQD +(#$%(+,7%#I++76&#E64;> IJ-0'")-=#G%&#"+$&#,$*6*$*&-#*"#1+-$#'%+"&-#4"8#$4=6&$-# 4(&#,-,466;#1&8*+5(&#4$#=&-$>#X)&("+$&#*-#4#"+$&9$4D*"7#4'9 '6*54$*+"#$%4$#%4-#56*&"$-#.+(#'(&$$;#1,5%#&)&(;$%*"7>#:-#4# (&-,6$3#;+,#"&)&(#%4)&#$+#<+((;#4=+,$#%4)*"7#;+,(#"+$&-#*"# NMD OK@BD ATS MNS SGD NSGDQ 8NT B@M CNVMKN@C SGD BKHDMS ENQ EQDD NM ,@B /" H.2 @MC MCQNHC 8NT FDS ,! NE TO9 6+48#-'45&#4#1+"$%#+"#$%&#.(&&9,-47&#$*&(3#<%*5%#*-"@$#(&466;# 4"#*--,&#*.#*$@-#B,-$#.+(#$&J$>#C+<&)&(3#*.#;+,@(&#,-*"7#'*5$,(&-# 4"8# 8+5,1&"$-3# ;+,# 1*7%$# <4"$# $+# 7+# .+(# $%&# '(&1*,1# OK@M VGHBG VHKK QTM XNT ʙ @ LNMSG NQ ʙ @ XD@Q RN XNT FDS &! @ LNMSG @R VDKK @R RNLD NSGDQ MHESX ED@STQDR

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15

FEATURES September 10, 2012 FACULTY AND STAFF LOTS 2SNMX !QNNJ 4MHUDQRHSX .45,6$;# 1&1=&(-# ',$# 4# 6+$# NE SHLD @MC DƤNQS HMSN SGDHQ <+(D3# <%&$%&(# *$# (&-,6$-# *"# L+=&6# E(*?&-# +(# "&<# <4;-# SN BGD@S CD@SG )423 #.-ŗ3 / 1* (- 3'$(1 / 1*(-& 2/ "$2 8.4 6(++ &$3 3("*$3 !$" 42$ 8.4 1$ /(22 23 (- ".,/ 1$# 3.

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16

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1 FEATURES RESIDENT STUDENT LOTS 1DRHCDMS KNSR BNLD HM RHW CHƤDQDMS BNKNQR @MC QDRH9 8&"$# -$,8&"$-# 5+1&# *"# $<+# CHƤDQDMS U@QHDSHDR SGDQD @QD řRTHSB@RDŚ RSTCDMSR VGN ,-&#$%&*(#54(-#$+#8(*)&#%+1&# +"# <&&D&"8-# 4"8# $%&(&# 4(&# $%+-&# -$,8&"$-# <%+# 5%++-&# SN RS@X @S SGD !QNNJ NM VDDJDMCR .E SGNRD VGN 5%++-&# $+# -$4;3# $%&# +"&-# <%+# 54"# ,-&# $%&*(# )&%*56&-#

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17

FEATURES September 10, 2012

ADVICE TO FRESHMEN by Arielle Dollinger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ŗS RTF@QBN@S HSŕHSŗR @ GD@UX BNLLTSDQ RBGNNK $%&#14B+(*$;#+.#-$,8&"$-#7+#%+1&#+"#<&&D&"8->#!$@-#46-+#4# 24-8 RBGNNK HSŗR MNSNQHNTRKX CDUNHC NE FK@LNTQ @MC RV@MJ !# (&1&1=&(# 5466*"7# 1;# 1+1# 8,(*"7# .(&-%14"# +(*&"$4$*+"# <&&D&"8#4"8#-4;*"73#M!@1#$(4"-.&((*"7>#!#8+"@$#6*D&#*$#%&(&>## (ŗL RN TMG@OOX (ŗL SQ@MREDQQHMF SN -84 MDWS RDLDRSDQ Ś ř(S @KV@XR Q@HMR GDQD Ś ( TRDC SN R@X ( ADKHDUD ( NESDM *"-*",4$&8#$%4$#$%&#4=,"84"5&#+.#(4*"#5+((&64$&8#$+#$%&#,"*9 UDQRDŗR FDMDQ@K RS@SDLDMS SG@S 2SNMX !QNNJ V@R @ R@C OK@BD $+#=&> .MD MHFGS K@RS VDDJ ( V@R D@SHMF CHMMDQ VHSG @ EQHDMCŗR .41*6;3#4"8#<&#7+$#$+#$46D*"7#4=+,$#5+66&7&->#C&(#=(+$%&(#*-# 4#-&"*+(#*"#%*7%#-5%++63#4"8#4=+,$#$+#&1=4(D#+"#$%&#B+,("&;# $%4$#*-#$%&#5+66&7&#4''6*54$*+"#4"8#455&'$4"5&#'(+5&-->#C&(# O@QDMSR R@HC SG@S SGDX LHFGS V@MS GHL SN FN SN 2SNMX !QNNJ A;#.(*&"83#<%+1#!@)&#D"+<"#-*"5&#<&#<&(&#&*7%$#;&4(-#+683# -4*8#$%4$#-%&#<+,68"@$#<4"$#%*1#%&(&>#0%&#-4*8#$%4$#$%&(&# <4-#"+#541',-#6*.&3#$%4$#*$#M*-"@$#4#7++8#-5%++6#.+(#%*1#$+# FQNV TO @S Ś !#.+,"8#1;-&6.#.,(*+,->#!#)&(;#(4(&6;#.&&6#$(,&#4"7&(3#=,$#

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18

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FEATURES September 10, 2012

ON-CAMPUS DINING

by Jodie Mann

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20

Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

FEATURES

STALLER SIGN

By Evan Goldaper

OW, MY EYES

by Evan Goldaper

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21

CULTURE September 10, 2012

PREMIUM RUSH

by Nicole Kohn

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22

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

CULTURE

HOPE SPRINGS

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23

CULTURE September 10, 2012

REEL BIG FISH REVIEW

by Ethan Freedman

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24

Photo by Tom Johnson

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

SITTIN’ WITH REEL BIG FISH

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27

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31

CULTURE September 10, 2012

DOCTOR WHO

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32

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

CULTURE

33

OPINION Sepember 12, 2012

BILL NYE CRITICIZES CREATIONISTS

by Andrew Carrieri

3N LD @MC L@MX NSGDQR LX @FD /!2ŗ LNRS &8,54$*+"46# 5%*68(&"@-# -%+<# 8,(*"7# $%&# ZYY[-# <4-# %LOO 1\H WKH 6FLHQFH *X\ # G%(+,7%# %*-# -%+<3# <%*5%# 4*(&8# "&<# DOHRNCDR ADSVDDM @MC -XD DWONRDC BGHKCQDM $+# $%&# %4(8# -5*&"5&-# =;# 8*-5,--*"7# 4"8# 8&1+"-$(4$*"7# $+'*5-# -,5%# 4-# -$4$*5# &6&5$(*5*$;3# $%&# =(4*"# 4"8# (&-'*(4$*+">## L;&#&--&"$*466;#8*-4''&4(&8#.(+1#1;#$%+,7%$-#4.$&(#(&(,"-# +.# %*-# -%+<# -$+''&8# 4*(*"7># # C+<&)&(3# <%*6&# '&(,-*"7# $%&# HMSDQMDS NM TFTRS ( R@V RNLD QDKDU@MS MDVR @ANTS GHL ENQ SGD ƥQRS SHLD HM XD@QR HM @ UHCDN GD BQD@SDC ENQ SGD VDARHSD !HF 3GHMJ ř"QD@SHNMHRL HR MNS OOQNOQH@SD ENQ "GHKCQDM Ś -XD RK@LLDC BQD@SHNMHRL @MC SGD K@QFD ODQBDMS@FD NE LDQHB@MR @BBNQCHMF SN SGD QDRTKSR NE @ ,@X &@KKTO /NKK VGN BNMSHMTD SN OQNLNSD HS 'D .&4(-# $%4$# 5+"$*",&8# =&6*&.# *"# 5(&4$*+"*-1# <*66# %*"8&(# $%&# ETSTQD RBHDMSHƥ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

34

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

OPINION

CONVENTIONS

by Brianna Peterson

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ONKHSHB@K O@QSX ^

35

SPORTS September 10, 2012

SWIM TEAM SEASON SINKS

by Olivia Burne

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36

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

SEAWOLVES SEASON OPENER

SPORTS

by Nowshad Hussain

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37

AA E-ZINE September 10, 2012

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue 1

AA E-ZINE

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