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TABLE OF CONTENTS EDITORIALS News Literacy
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LETTERS On Drugzzz
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NEWS Lights Out in Langmuir Gettin’ Green ‘14
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CULTURE Who Wears Short-Shorts? Don’t Touch that Dial Let’s Fucking Go!!!! Creep Season 2014 Barney Stinson Sayez Nutshellz
COMIX Gravel Stream
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OPINION Legend of Gravel Stream University Would You Like Fries with Your Fries?
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THE STONY BROOK PRESS EXECUTIVE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR BUSINESS MANAGER ART DIRECTOR NEWS EDITOR FEATURES EDITOR CULTURE EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR WEB EDITOR OPINION EDITOR PHOTO EDITOR COPY EDITOR PRODUCTION MANAGER MINISTER OF ARCHIVES OMBUDSMAN
JODIE MANN NICK BATSON BEATRICE VANTAPOOL JASMINE HAEFNER HOLLY LAVELLI JOHN FISCHER MAGGY KILROY JULIANNE MOSHER JAEL HENRY IAN SCHAFER SEAN FISCHER DAINE TAYLOR GIL GAMESH CHARLES SPITZNER HOWIE NEWSBERKMAN EVAN GOLDAPER
STAFF SURAIYA AFRINA LINDSAY ANDARAKIS JESSICA BEEBE TERICHI BELLINGER DANIEL CASHMAR SIOBHAN CASSIDY JESSE CHANG ARIELLE DOLLINGER
RACHAEL ELLENBOGEN TAYLOR KNOEDL TOM JOHNSON PRISCILA KORB KYRIL KOTLOVSKY SAMUEL LIEBRAND BETTY LO BUSHRA MOLLICK
The Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly during the academic year and twice during summer session by The Stony Brook Press, The opinions expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints do not The Stony Brook Press
KENNETH MYERS CASEY PINNER CHRIS PRIORE ANDY POLHAMUS ANTHONY SANTIGATE PATRICIA SOBERANO ZOE SUMNER REBECCA TAPIO MATT WILLEMAIN The Stony Brook Press Suites 060&061 Student Union SUNY at Stony Brook Stony Brook, NY 11794-3200
EDITORIALS
In the last issue of The Stony Brook Press we published an editorial questioning the integrity and professionalism of the Undergraduate Student Government. Immediately following its publication, several high-ranking members of USG and many of their Facebook friends were angered by the fact that we had not reached out to them for comment, saying that we had produced a biased story. The article was published as an editorial. It quickly came to our attention that a great deal of people don’t actually know what an editorial is, so we wanted to take a moment to explain what exactly editorials are and why they appear in their own section. newspaper article written by or on behalf of an editor that in the journalism sense dates back to the 1730s and the birth of American Journalism. Typically, journalists try their best to be objective with news and features articles. They try to tell both sides of a story, giving equal voice to each side in an attempt to remove any bias the writer may have in a story. Of course it’s easy to argue that bias exists in news stories, but their purpose is to inform, not to promote any opinion. An editorial, unlike a news piece, is one of the few pieces of journalism which allows the expression of an opinion without producing a counter argument. The editorial of a newspaper acts as an opinion piece, meant to show the opinions of the entire editorial board about a given topic, hence the Sometimes editorials will include reporting. Writers will research and interview subjects to better form and illustrate their opinion, but they’re not necessarily going to identify their sources for readers, and their sources can include things as posts. It’s at the editorial board’s discretion whether to conduct extensive reporting and contact the people who are being written about. Most of the time no reporting is done exclusively for the editorial and facts are taken from previously reported on topics. That’s what we were trying to accomplish when we ran 4 April 29, 2014
had all decided that we felt Mallory Rothstein’s positions at is what we wrote about. As a publication, The Press’ mission is to inform the campus community and incite debate. When we come across an issue that we feel deserves to be questioned, we will provide students with the information they need so that they can ask the questions that students deserve the answers to. We strongly felt that students deserved to know about Rothstein’s connection to two organizations that were closely linked. Rothstein responded, defending her employment, effectively answering the questions we felt needed to be answered. Although our opinion has still not to riders for a USG funded event-- we respect Rothstein's attempt to be transparent. When reading any piece from The Press, and any other publication really, be sure to pay attention to what section you’re reading before reacting to a piece. On the top right and left hand corners each page is a section name. The 7Bus piece ran in the Editorial section, and was clearly labeled as such. And as all editorials, it did not identify a writer because they represent the opinions of the entire editorial board. We had hoped that publishing the story in the editorial section would signify that it was not intended to be an objective newspiece, but it looks like we failed in that sense. To learn more about newspapers and how journalism works, we’ve included the link to the Wikipedia article on Journalism below. The more you know! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Journalism
EDITORIALS
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LETTERS
LETTER TO THE EDITOR Let’s look past the fact that someone at the Stony Brook to give expert advice to students on what drugs they should and shouldn’t use. Rather, let’s focus on the fact that the Press is advocating drug use at all. In all seriousness, the kids that are going to use the drugs discussed in April 15th’s culture article are probably the point of your article was to target students who aren’t into drug culture, I’m not sure what your intent was. If you did in fact mean to introduce non-drug users to the culture, it was incredibly irresponsible to do so without providing both sides of the story. What students do on their on time is their choice, but you shouldn’t advocate drugs unless you are providing the health risks as well. I’ll attempt to do that here, and while my information is in no way expert advice, I will attempt to actually cite my information with credible sources, where possible: Marijuana (aka Mary Jane, weed, pot, reefer, grass, dope, ganja, marijutni, etc.) making its way to be legal in some states, that doesn’t make it safe. Long-term users should be aware that they could develop mental health problems such paranoia, as well as heart and lung problems.1 Obviously the effects from weed are controversial, but one can only wonder why Bob Marley, who loved weed as much as his music, died from brain cancer. (Not so) Fun Fact: Though widely debated, some research has shown a connection between marijuana use and increased risk for development of schizophrenia and psychosis in young people.2 Marijuana Related Deaths: Though no direct deaths have been reported, the number of marijuana related fatal car accidents have risen from 4% in 1999 to 12%. If you are using both alcohol and marijuana you are 24 times more likely to end up in a fatal accident.3 Shrooms Shrooms are like a box of chocolates… you never know poisoned? If you go with the poison option, the best case scenario is that you spend the day in the bathroom with
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“Cannabis.” Know the Score, Drugs A-Z. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Apr. 2014. 2 Evins A., Green AI, Kane JM, Murray RM. 2013. Does Using Marijuana Increase the Risk for Developing Schizophrenia? J Clin Psychiatry 74(4). 3 “Study: Fatal Car Crashes Involving Marijuana Have Tripled - CBS Seattle.” Interview. CBS Seattle. American Journal of Epidemiology, 4 Feb. 2014. Web. 17 Apr. 2014. 6 April 29, 2014
food poisoning - super romantic. Furthermore, this drug is also commonly laced with other fun add ons, like PCP which can be fatal.4 If you manage to avoid the poisoning option, a bad trip can lead to panic and paranoia, which could security.5 While mushrooms alone probably won’t kill you, their effects might. Just this past January a NYU freshmen fell 15 stories to his death on mushrooms because he was 6 The scary part is this is not an uncommon event with mushrooms. MDMA (aka ecstasy, molly, mandy, etc.) MDMA is probably the most popular drug for students has been receiving a lot of attention lately because it is such a mystery drug. Just because the tablet you and your friend are taking LOOK the same, doesn’t mean they are. There are no guaranteed safe amounts, because it can contain all sorts of mixtures. These tablets (or powder) can cause kidney, liver and brain damage as well damage to brain tissue.7 Many people our age have been dying from this drug, because they are dehydrated, exhausted and in some instances suffer from a heart attack.8 Fun Fact: MDMA is used in many research labs to model the psychosis of schizophrenia.9 Cocaine We are all aware that this drug is fatal and addictive. Cocaine can cause heart attack and heart failure, and your risk of overdosing increases when you combine it with other drugs. Long term usage (which is plausible if you’re an addict) leads to seizures, headaches, ulcers and kidney failure.10 Since it is so addictive, it isn’t uncommon for 11 Why are
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“Hallucinogenic Mushrooms.” EMCDDA. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Apr. 2014.. 5 “Commonly Abused Drugs Chart.” National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA). N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Apr. 2014. 6 Mangelli, Lorena, Daniel Prendergast, and Jamie Schram. “Naked Student ‘high on Shrooms’ Before fall.” New York Post. N.p., 27 Jan. 2014. Web. 17 Apr. 2014. 7 “Negative Effects of Ecstasy - MDMA Overdose & Death - Drug-Free World.”Foundation for a Drug Free World. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Apr. 2014. 8 “Ecstasy” - Know the Score, Drugs A-Z. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Apr. 2014. 9 Marcotte ER, Pearson DM, Srivastava LK. 2001. Animal models of schizophrenia: a critical review.J Psychiatry Neurosci. 26(5):395-410. 10 “The Effects of Cocaine Use.” The Effects of Cocaine Use. Coalition Against Drug Abuse, n.d. Web. 15 Apr. 2014. 11 “Cocaine.” Know the Score, Drugs A-Z. N.p., n.d. Web.
LETTERS
we suggesting this for college students again? A rational person wouldn’t. (Not so) Fun Fact: Individuals who use cocaine are at that attacks the liver, causing cirrhosis and even death. (There is a cure, but it doesn’t work for everybody).12 Famous Celebrity Deaths: Alcohol Finally we have arrived to Alcohol. While the immediate effects can be described by quite a few college students, it still a responsibility to warn about the risks from too much drinking. College students should know that death from alcohol isn’t uncommon; in fact 2.5 million people die from it every single year.13 For certain, the next day you will suffer from hangover, dehydration, headache, nausea and probably a little depression when you realize how much homework you have to do.14 The Stony Brook Red Watch band is a better source of information on this topic, but long story short, you don’t want to be the person that never wakes up, or worse, the person known for severely injuring/killing a group of people at a music festival (see SXSW 2014 - concert 17 Apr. 2014. 12 “Hepatitis C Warning over Snorting Cocaine.” Hepatitis C Trust. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Apr. 2014. 13 “Alcohol.” WHO. World Health Organization, Feb. 2011. Web. 16 Apr. 2014. 14 “Alcohol.” Know the Score, Drugs A-Z. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Apr. 2014.
goer got in his car and ran over a number of people, killing 2 and injuring another 2315 Readers, take from this what you will. I’m not a debbie downer - I do like to have fun - but I have seen too many friends end up in rehab, or worse, due to drug abuse. Drugs are dangerous and their use has consequences. To the Stony Brook Press: I know many of you claim that you are just a university paper, and that nobody will read you, but if you ever want to make something of the paper, you have to write as if people ACTUALLY DO read it. All Stony Brook students have to get jobs some day, and if employers get the impression that Stony Brook students are a bunch of crazed drug addicts, we are all going to be hindered professionally. A good rule would be, if you won’t put your name on the article (as nobody did for this one) than it may not be worthy for publication. Sincerely, Allison Zelnick
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Morgan, Lee, Sasha Goldstein, and Philip Caulfield. “2 Dead, 23 Injured after Alleged Drunk Driver Plows into Crowd outside Venue at SXSW Festival in Texas; Maniac ID’d, Reportedly Driving Stolen Car.” NY Daily News. N.p., 13 Mar. 2014. Web. 17 Apr. 2014.
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NEWS
LANGMUIR IN THE DARK by betty lo
dealing with power outages for more than two weeks. Some students missed classes and could not turn in homework assignments and many had to take showers in the dark. to the school’s power system. and academics? we are the only building that’s running on it. They try to do it at a convenient time, like during the day when you don’t actually need that much power because you can see the natural lighting but it’s still inconvenient. A lot of my friends missed classes because their alarms don’t go off and they forgot they had to reset it because of the power outage.” -Gaiane Offredo randomly, I was in the middle of working on an assignment and my laptop was dying so I had to start it over in the library just to have it in on time. There was another power outage today and my friend across the hall who was working on a homework for three hours but she didn’t save and she lost everything and was crying.” -Danhaelle Schmidt, freshman my homework there aren’t any lights on and no internet. When my computer is running down I can’t charge it, and I can’t charge my phone either. I just can’t stay here. The only thing I can do is to go to the library. I prefer staying in my room to study but I have no choice. It just makes me really 8
April 29, 2014
uncomfortable.” -Jin Ying Lin, freshman while and it was really dark, so I couldn’t do any work in my room. It was time for enrolling classes and room selection. I had to go to the library to do it and I almost missed the appointment which would’ve been really bad because there might not be any more rooms left. I also took a shower in the dark. There were glow sticks but it wasn’t bright enough to illuminate the room, it just showed where you are going and where the stairs are.” -Janet Lau, junior was no water and it was right after I got back from the themselves. All the doors are powered by electricity. When the power went out, as soon as we stepped outside, the doors just shut and we were like, ‘Oh god, this is how we die.’ It was like a horror movie out there. And during the day, it was just one guy with a hundred glow sticks and breaking them individually, walking around and throwing them and they didn’t pick all of them up after that.” -Jake Walsh able to take care of the building and notify us, they didn’t do it as much as they could’ve. It seemed like they didn’t care as much. It could’ve been better.” -Stephanie Kaczynski
NEWS
NEWZ BLURBZ STONY BROOK SOUTHAMPTON FACULTY MEMBER WINS PULITZER PRIZE Annie Baker, a Stony Brook Southampton faculty member in the MFA in Theatre program has been awarded the 2014 Pulitzer prize in drama for her play, The Flick. The over three hour play tells the story of three individuals working in a single-screen movie theater in Massachusetts.
playwright deserving of this prestigious award.” Baker is a 33-year-old from Amherst, Mass. She earned her MFA from Brooklyn College after graduating from New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts’ Department of Dramatic Writing. She has been working at Stony Brook Southampton since 2012.
STONY BROOK RESEARCHERS LEAD STUDY ON SHARK MOVEMENTS Demian Chapman, an assistant professor in the School of Marine and Atmospheric Sciences, and Mark Bond, a graduate student, are leading a research expedition to study movements and behavior patterns of endangered and threatened shark species at the Bahamian Shark Sanctuary. The team hopes research will lead to a better understanding and ability to protect the sharks. wrote Christine O’Connell, a Marine and environmental scientist who works as workshop coordinator for Stony Brook upwards of $100 per bowl.” promote shark conservation within the local communities.
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NEWS
EARTHSTOCK 2014 photos by julianne mosher, lauren klein and maggy kilroy
Stony Brook University hosted Earthstock this, an event which seeks to raise awareness about environmental issues affecting both Long Island’s environment and others around the world. The event began with academic talks on Monday, April 21 and culminating in a large expo on the academic mall on Friday, April 25. Tuesday, during which students could tweet questions to three Stony Brook professors who also happen to be three conservationist work, and the annual duck race, during which people could buy rubber ducks for $1 to race down the waterfall near the Wang Center and Administration building. At the opening ceremony Friday afternoon, exhibitors representing different conservationist organizations, natural food vendors and student organizations lined the mall in an event which Jessica Buckley, who helped found the festival inception. The photo gallery shows some of the highlights of Earthstock 2014.
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NEWS
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CULTURE
CHILDISH GAMBINO REVIEW by jon winkler
Gambino, currently on his Deep Web tour, performed in front of a live band and video screen that looked like a fancy around stage in short shorts and a sweater. Gambino moved and grooved to his funky live band with full control over the hyped Stony Brook crowd. Most of the show had Gambino playing cuts of his recent album Because the Internet, which actually had a lot more bounce and fun to them than on the album itself.
Computer” started with it chants of wanting to live forever and its hammering bass, it seemed like Diplo was getting shown up before he even took the stage. More so, the smoother, R&B bit more energy and allowed Gambino to shuck and jive as the crowd matched his vibe.
entire crowd was singing to Gambino’s boasting anthem as Gambino himself shouted his lungs out. Despite his somewhat somber demeanor, Gambino looked to be having the time of his life onstage bouncing off the edges of the stage. This was a very entertaining show full of spirit and life. Granted, the sound of the band overtook Gambino’s voice on and dedication to his craft that he wants to present in full force live. That craft was brought front and center to the students at Stony Brook, so here’s to six albums and a biopic (you’re welcome, Community fans).
12 April 29, 2014
CULTURE
SBU TV SHOWCASES STUDENT TALENT by charlie spitzner
SBU-TV’s 3rd Annual Film Festival gave graduate and undergraduate students alike a chance to showcase their own original works in front of an audience to show what they had to offer. Screened submissions ranged from serious minidocumentaries about South African rhinos and a soldier Youtube fodder, a romantic comedy involving Stony Brook’s beloved mascot, and content created and commissioned by SBU-TV themselves.
ever since then and has been making steady efforts towards getting their content noticed through publishing their works online. The organization has managed to achieve amounts of success and recognition in these recent years. They netted the Student Life Award for Media Service for the past two years in a row, received nominations for two new awards Free SUNY” campaign that ended up on the main page of Kicks Butts.”
our favorite thing to do as a club.” The festival, held in the to the audience, who were given a chance at the end of the Voting was broken down into three categories: Undergraduate, Graduate and the favorite of the club. The respective awards were won by Scott’s Girls, a drama produced to gain exposure for the endangered South African rhino, and NYC RAW, another documentary about a former soldier and his struggle with PTSD. was the best it’s ever been,” said Isobel Breheny-Schafer, Assistant Director for Student Media, who had a hand in reviewing the submissions and putting on the event. Though this particular festival was advertised as the latest in a longer series of events that came back after the Undergraduate Student Government cut the funding for the organization back in 2011. The club has been supported by donations and equipment provided by the club members
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CULTURE
SWEATIN’ TO THE OLDIES
by marco ponzo
Drop of the dime tempo changes, b-movie samples, and obscure instruments; Powerviolence. The genre is a mix of hardcore punk and metal that started in the 1990’s that made waves in the metal and punk music scenes. An
now. I’ve been steady making beats since 95. I’ve been in multiple rap groups, the most recent being Grand Invincible. My DJ name is DJ Eons One.
the scene; dishing out tons of close to a minute long songs
Saxophone any reason for this? Its badass regardless A: Chris was the one who spearheaded bringing in all the different instruments and players. We were just trying to be different. Most of the underground DIY bands that were playing extremely fast or heavy were really wrapped up in politics and activism, we just wanted to have fun so we went the other direction. You really have to give props to Mike Coykendall (banjo, etc) and Alex Yueng (sax) for being able to come in the studio, listen to the songs and improvise their parts on the spot. Not an easy task.
guitarist of Spazz, Dan Lactose. the name, why the name? A: The phrase was coined by Eric Wood of Man Is The Bastard in his reference to the sounds being created by his friends in Capitalist Casualties, Crossed Out, No Comment and Manpig. I always took it to be very extreme hardcore without the excesses associated with metal. I always looked at Spazz as a hardcore band, everyone else called us power violence. this day remain pretty rare to come by, any reason why you stuck to a vinyl only release style? A: In the 90’s, the 7” format was extremely economical to manufacture and ship and the time restrictions really worked for bands writing such short fast songs. There was no internet to upload your music to, CD burners were extremely expensive and tapes were considered amateurish. Vinyl was the ultimate medium.
Jamboree” has a sample right in the beginning of the song A: Max and I watched a ton of movies together. I can’t it was one of Max’s), but we took the Burroughs/Gysin cut up approach and really just looked at and listened to everything as if it could be a possible Spazz sample or song lyric inspiration. I remember Max hearing a sample on an evening news cast, contacting the television station and ahold of the sample. This was a world before Youtube. of the sickest instrumental hip hop beats i’ve heard at the end of the song, the placement is a bit odd, what made you want to sneak some hip hop in a hardcore punk album? Do you make hip hop beats as of recently? A: I had started DJing and making beats shortly after Spazz started and Chris and Max wanted me to make a beat for the lp we were writing so I did. That beat was one of the 14 April 29, 2014
punk scene in the 1990’s?, seems like a pretty awesome time to be playing shows A: The scene for very extreme hardcore was very small in the Bay Area at that time. The only other band that was playing stuff like that was Capitalist Casualties. The cool thing as that whenever a band like Rorschach or Assuck or some Japanese bands came through both bands were always on the bill. We got to play some amazing shows. while playing guitar for Spazz? A: I was in a band called Clout when called Canaan. I was also the DJ and made beats for a rap group called the Shed Dwellaz. the short and fast tempo of the songs, seems like a lot of energy and ridiculously hard. out all the vocal arrangements on the spot in the studio, but I think it really gives the songs some extra umph because song, we may have more changes than 2 4 minute pop songs. a Spazz revival/ Powerviolence revival? Punk is not dead!!! A: As I said before, I’ve been making beats steadily since 1995 and have a lot of projects in the works including an all instrumental solo 7” that is at the pressing plant as I type. Deny The Cross that is straight up 90’s power violence. DTC is Carlos (Black Army Jacket), Dave Witte (Municipal Waste), Franko (Agents of Satan) and myself. We hope to record something towards the end of this year. No plans for a Spazz reunion at this time.
CULTURE
DRUGZZZ- 4/TWEASTER by lip man and ms. token
Lip Man and I have been touched by all the feedback from our last article. We love our fans! That being said, it seems that a few people don’t quite get our aesthetic. While we don’t feel like it is necessary to defend ourselves, an important issue came up in our fan mail. check these articles before they go to the students hands?” To start, we are a student-run alternative newspaper. That is all I can say at the moment. Now for more drugzzz. In honor of our beloved holiday passing last weekend, 4/Tweaster, we must take a moment to appreciate some of Cannabis Cup in Denver last weekend and these are the results. Prepare your wallets, my friends. BEST MEDICAL CONCENTRATE
BEST US SATIVA 3rd Place - Twista from The Green Solution BEST MEDICAL INDICA 1st Place - Larry OG from MMJ America 2nd Place - Raskal OG from Colorado Alternative Medicine Dispensary BEST US INDICA 1st Place - South Central LA from Colorado Alternative Medicine & Root Seller Seeds 2nd Place - Grand Daddy Purple from Cannables 3rd Place - MK Ultra from The Green Solution
& TC Labs 2nd Place - Jilly Bean from Stay Concentrated Extracts 3rd Place - South African Durban Poison Wax from Advanced Medical Alternatives & Dab City Concentrates BEST US CONCENTRATE 1st Place - 303 OG Nug Run Sugar Budder from The Clinic 2nd Place - Lemon Walker OG from TC Labs & Gold Coast Collective Concentrates BEST MEDICAL HYBRID 1st Place - Pure Power Plant from Good Meds Network 2nd Place - Chem Crush from La Contes 3rd Place - Golden Goat from the Green Solution BEST US HYBRID 1st Place - Cookies & Cream from Exotic Genetix 2nd Place - Colorado Chem from Cannables 3rd Place - Cinderella 99 x White from Natural Remedies BEST MEDICAL SATIVA 1st Place - Jilly Bean #1 from Standing Akimbo 2nd Place - Durban Poison from Denver Relief 3rd Place - Cherry Pie from The Clinic
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CULTURE
TWO GIRLS, ONE CREEP by lauren klein
& julianne mosher
Spring is upon us and the creeps are out to play. No creep is alike, so no approach to fending one off is the same. To compare and contrast methods, we have taken two real reactions to one major creep and analyzed them.
you politely decline a guy who isn’t getting the hint without seeming like a narcissist or creating a fake boyfriend? Let’s be real here, how many times have you been hit on and the likes me? No. This can’t be, if I assume he likes me, and this is just him being himself then I am a total bitch. But if he does actually like me I need to shake him off ASAP. out the situation before taking action. Allow the creep to creep a little just so you know it’s for real. If your gut isn’t screaming red alert, then he’s just naturally creepy and you’ll have to accept your new pal as he is, otherwise it’s time to ditch the leech and disappear. When making an escape, you have to be very quiet and subtle. Do not disturb the creepy creature, just back away slowly with your hands up in the air, and when you’re at a safe distance, run as fast and far as you can. Obviously getting yourself out of a sticky creepy situation can be tricky if you’re going to do the subtle please-stop-talking-to-me thing. You don’t want to hurt their feelings and you don’t know how he’ll react if you are too abrasive and abrupt. Be polite and play nice but don’t encourage him. Shake him off; eventually, if you ignore him to be nice and not hurt his feelings or be completely honest and say you’re just not that into him. You won’t always be so lucky. In most experiences some has yielded some outstanding results, although if they ask if you’re into threesomes, you’re in for a headache. There is mom!), or end every sentence like you are asking a question. chalkboard and perfect if you are trying to get rid of a creep. If none of those work, then you have one solid back up plan. Play dead. Just don’t respond, give him little or nothing to go on and eventually he will have to give up when there is nothing left to talk about. The nice girl method, while sometimes slow, is effective. - Lauren
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Many of us are still scarred from the horrid days of middle school and high school. The days of braces and unfashionable styles still haunt us along with the fact that we never had a date to the junior high semi formal. We didn’t know how to properly apply eyeliner and wore lipgloss colors that today would make us cringe. Looking back at the pictures, we are fully aware of why we were single. Now that we’ve matured and our bodies grew out – dem curves ma, - why should we sit around and wait for a suitable guy to court us? If a woman is comfortable and play around, why can’t women? The typical argument is why can a promiscuous out what she wants – and possibly get a free drink out of it – is to be labeled a hoe? Think about it. If one guy can hit on a girl and then why not fuck around with his head? If he keeps messaging her on Facebook and she’s just not budging, it’s more fun to instigate the conversation and use him. As terrible as it sounds, give it a try and you’ll understand what I’m saying. Men can be complicated and horrible human beings despite how much we love them and we all know they say the same about women. But when a dude is constantly hitting a chick up and she ain’t interested, he can’t get mad when she to women all the time. Men get bored when a chick doesn’t
need a restraining order. That could be bad. - Julianne
CULTURE
ONE PAIR, NOT ENOUGH by lauren klein
sisters, I was struck by the idea of women taking solace in shoe size never will. I own a lot of shoes. Yes, I have to have that new pair of black booties that Aldo just starting selling, they have a chunkier heel than my other pair. While most people have one or two different shoes that they switch off per season,
There is no logical explanation for why women have so many shoes. The most concise and well thought out
explanation of women and shoes is something that every girl has tussled with. Whether it’s the bank calling because you spent too much on shoes last month or you’re closet space getting suspiciously smaller as you add a new pair to Shoes are usually the starting point of how I get dressed for the day. The weather ultimately determines what shoes I’m going to wear and from there I decide what to wear. Without a wide variety of shoes, how could I possibly be able to make the right clothing decisions? I need choices. And really, options are a girl’s best friend.
‘TIS THE SEASON TO ROCK OUT by lauren klein
Coachella, though vastly overrated, marks the beginning of music festival season. The past two weekends, the California desert has attracted a suspiciously welldressed crowd. Most other festivals are less about what you wear and more about the music, sweat, and mud; stereos booming and people singing along to their favorite songs. In an industry that is becoming less about the songs and more about the chart toppers, its nice to see that a good ‘ol fashion music festival can bring the bands and the fans together to celebrate music. some noise. The South has Bonnaroo in Manchester, TN. From June 12 to June 15, Kanye Ocean, The Avett Brothers, Elton
has Summerfest in Milwaukee, WI where New Order, Arctic Monkeys, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts are headlining; and Lollapalooza, where music fans descend on the city of Chicago to see Eminem, Kings of Leon and Lorde. to boast about. There is the Electric Daisy Carnival on May 24 and May 25, where Electro Funk music fans come out to play; beware of Penn Station that weekend. You might
White, OutKast, The Strokes and Vampire Weekend. And of course last but not least with a stop in Wantagh, NY for Warped Tour featuring Bayside, The Summer Set, Bowling For Soup and Breathe Carolina.
more will be performing. Bonnaroo is the camping experience for hardcore music fans. Sleeping on the ground for four days in the Tennessee heat is worth it for the music. The Midwest
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CULTURE
“THE BRO CODE”
by ricky patricia soberano
something ;)” is what the message said. The photo that followed was of a respectably sized and erect penis. I did a double take to be sure my eyesight and sanity were still intact. guy friends, this was my ex-boyfriend’s best friend. The same guy, who in true form followed the beloved Bro Code as strictly as a nun does the Bible, was pushing for a booty call. When all of your closest friends are male, the Bro Code is tattooed in place of the heart on your sleeve, or at least shoved down your throat the moment you were wing This sacred code provides rules of etiquette for the respectable modern gentleman written by the prophet The source of confusion comes with Article 150 of another bro’s ex-girlfriend. It is never permissible. Violating this code is worse than killing a bro.” Let’s play devil’s advocate for a moment. The temptation to violate this article is logical. A bro’s ex-girlfriend is not a random person. Compatible personalities may come to mind. There’s a reason why both parties are close to the previous bro. Similar characteristics are usually present. Above all else, aesthetic appeal varies, but plays a huge part. In recent years, violations of this particular article have become very prevalent. Take into consideration the fact that even Barney Stinson, who preaches the Bro Codes importance at every opportunity, violated this volatile
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article by sleeping with his friend Ted Mosby’s former girlfriend, Robin Scherbatsky. question that may have been weighing on their mind for Bro friendship. On the other hand, if the Bro is an advocate have become Eskimo Brothers. The real question that comes to mind is, does the Bro Code itself still apply today? It can be debated that select the mindset of generations that are currently on the prowl. As the Bible is not followed by the majority of those who supposedly live by it in its most literal form, then isn’t it possible that the same change occurred in relation to the Bro Code to accommodate today’s society? If a Bro’s mission is to help ensure the sexual happiness of a fellow Bro, then shouldn’t amendments be written to of the consequences, has become a popular trend. It is a moral and ethical issue. At the end of the day, it is a question of which is a higher priority. Do not completely waste the teachings of the Bro Code for one great night, and if you do, the consequences are written out to use as of those, or at least enough good nights to add up to that one. Satisfaction is not guaranteed by either one. It all depends on how much risk you are willing to take and the in the name of the Bro Code.
CULTURE
EVERYDAY ROBOTS by jon winkler
since their reunion in 2008, has made so many musical songwriting carried the spirit of Britpop that bit its lip at surrounding English culture. While the Gorillaz are comprised of cartoon characters, Albarn was behind the scenes building freaky sounds that merged alternative rock, world music, electronic music and hip hop to make one of the weirdest pop formulas in recent memory (over 8 million albums sold worldwide). In fact, how many people that bought the self-titled debut album of his super group fans? No matter what he’s involved himself in, whether that be singing pop music, producing for soul legend Bobby Womack or composing operas based on the life of Elizabethan doctor John Dee, Damon Albarn has always had the spotlight on him (whether he wanted it or not). Perhaps all of that time in the bright light has made him focus on the blackness surrounding him, because he has certainly had his share of alienation. Everyday Robots is the most autobiographical piece of
the biography of a completely different person than the to hear that cocky comment on the pop culture trends of today, this snapshot of Damon Albarn is fascinating from beginning to end. The music is modern and beautiful and the lyrics are full of dread and bare emotion, adding up to the British equivalent to Beck’s Morning Phase, which is just about 2 months older than this album. While this has more of a space-like atmosphere compared to Beck’s acoustic delivery, Everyday Robots is a fascinating look into the mind and heart of one of music’s modern renaissance men. Final Verdict: 5 out of 5 stars
pinched the sound of The Stone Roses 23 years ago. and piano loops are mixed with African drums and chants, notes his faults in a relationship as he sits alone with his opens the record is haunting, with the ever-observant
Me” is probably the darkest song here, where Albarn Pond,” where an organ and light picks of an acoustic guitar create a funeral-like mood for Albarn to mourn over his adolescence. Albarn is so vivid in his lyrics that the listener could close his eyes and see Albarn sitting next to him with his head buried in folded arms. Albarn and co-producer Richard Russell have created a rich but mournful setting through the sound on this record. There are more musical elements of Gorillaz and bounce Blur had. But maybe that’s the point. Albarn, who has doubted the possibility of another Blur record VOL XXXV Issue 13
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CULTURE
COVERZ EDITION J. MASCIS - “FADE INTO YOU” Mazzy Star is responsible for the dreamiest of dream pop with a cozy, ethereal edge to its production that sounds just like what you’d imagine a dream would sound like. J. Mascis; responsible for crafting some of the loudest, craziest sounds to ever come out of a guitar and crafting mass radio consumption. What do you get when you put the two together? Less than you’d hope for, to be honest. Most think Dinosaur Jr when they think J. Mascis, but this cover comes from his more stripped-down solo career, relying more on his songwriting skills than crazy guitar distortions. I was expecting something along the lines of Jr.’s cover ran it through the patented Dinosaur Jr. Sonic Woodchipper (™), but this cover isn’t nearly as adventurous. Sung by Mascis and accompanied by acoustic guitar, Mazzy Star’s in dream pop, this bare bones version just isn’t enough to capture what the original has to offer.
DEMI LOVATO - “HOW TO LOVE” It’s always a shame when a good song is given to the wrong artist. And any good song going to Lil Wayne is doing just that. Luckily, Demi Lovato swooped in and version lacks. While his monotone voice doesn’t add much of anything to the track, Lovato’s past experiences and her powerful voice add the emotion the song needed to be
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charlie spitzner
jodie mann
rachel ellenbogen
lauren klein
taylor knoedl
nick batson
great. She turns the lyrics around to make it more personal, making it even more apparent that it should have been hers to record originally. It’s not always easy to love covers more than the original, but in this case Demi’s version towers
BADBADNOTGOOD - “TITLE THEME/ SARIA’S SONG/SONG OF STORMS” It’s incredibly strange that the mainish-stream hadn’ BADBADNOTGOOD. I mean—Zelda melodies are known pretty much everywhere to a point where they become inserted into most jams. The three piece jazz that happens in this BADBADNOTGOOD creation is smooth. It’s smooth as fuck—yet jammish. The melodies they have in this track is the Title Theme, Saria’s Song, and the Song of Storms. The Title Theme is a title theme—I suppose I never hung around the menu screen too long to appreciate this one. But given the chance, it’s a killer title theme to have on piano like how BBNG does. Saria’s Song opted for smoothness instead of that fucking running around the lost woods through one of three identical cave entrances just to be going in a perpetual circle (maybe I should revisit Ocarina of Time to discover that this part of the game wasn’ ’s a quaint little jingle with the electric keys all sounding like a Yoshi’s Island music box echoing chimes. The Song of Storms has the keys on the grinder organphonograph thing’s part, where the bass plays the wind. It plummets into a storm of jam and then brings back the familiar windmill hut song that is so known and aka’d as the Song of Storms.
CULTURE
MILEY CYRUS - “JOLENE” in 2012 as part of her Backyard Sessions series back when she still had long hair and actually wore clothes. Miley’s just bopping along to one of her favorite songs in her backyard, showing off her stellar vocals. In her 2014 MTV Unplugged performance she broke out the tune again, telling audiences that it reminded her of home. If you just listen it’s pretty great. If you watch it, Miley’s denim ensemble and the ridiculous group she had on stage with her is very
ED SHEERAN - “DRUNK IN LOVE” has made a memorable and unique cover of Bey’s popular song. Sheeran took out his guitar and performed an acoustic rendition of Beyoncé’s hit single at the request of fans while on the Elvis Duran Z100 Morning Show a few weeks ago, turning the steamy song into a love ballad while on. Of course Sheeran made a song about getting hot a n d heavy sound down right adorable and romantic.
distracting. It’s almost frustrating to hear because Miley actually has talent, she’s just hiding it behind her bootyshaking, tongue-swirling, grill-wearing rebellious act. If you’re looking for something to soothe your heartbreak and more fun though.
WASIM AHMAD - “AMISH PARADISE” When you browse through The Lizard Lounge’s Karaoke are pretty hard to watch. One, however, stands out. The School of Journalism’s own Wasim Ahmad back in July of 2010. Anyone who’s heard the original song, its arguably one of the best parody hip-hop songs to come out of the nineties. Over many years I’ve heard a number of strangers attempt to rap to the song at countless house parties, most butchering the lyrics. But Ahmad easily comes the closest to the glory of the tempo nicely. In fact, when played side-by-side, it’s actually song justice.
doesn’t hurt either. Give the man a Grammy already! Unlike a lot of performers, Sheeran keeps in all of the
and Ryan Lewis. Ed, if you’re reading this, please never ever stop making covers. Or saying surfbort. VOL XXXV Issue 13
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CULTURE
NIRVANA
by charlie spitzner
Can I be nostalgic for something that I wasn’t alive for? I was still stuck in my momma’s belly when Kurt Cobain kicked the bucket, so just how nostalgic can I be about this? With their recent induction into the Rock and Soaked in Bleach on the horizon, Nirvana has wormed its way back into public discussion, presenting a fantastic opportunity for some good ‘ol fashioned 90’s hitch a ride on this nostalgia train back to those good ‘ol
that they might barely resemble what they were meant to sound like. You started going around believing that listening to this band that literally millions of other people listened to made you special. Walking around honestly believing in your heart of hearts that good music couldn’t sooooooo much better if you were a teenager in the 1990’s? You remember that? You remember those tweenage years? Isn’t that something you’re glad you remembered?
a Nirvana was: somewhere between 11 and 14-years-old.
ON NON - MONOGAMY long time boyfriend (in the same room together), how do you deal with serious anxiety, feeling somewhat down, and possible jealousy after being with other people? And, do you think that those feelings can pass or do you think that a person who isn’t comfortable with swinging will never be comfortable with it? I like being with other people so far, male and female, and I don’t feel guilty as long as he’s there, but I feel kind of inadequate when I think back to seeing him with other and when I’m in the moment, so I’m pretty confused. Any advice?” monogamy. I am currently seeing two different men, my been in bed with me at the same time. They are very good at not getting jealous. I, on the other hand, am not. I get jealous a lot, and I used to spend a lot of time feeling bad here is to make sure that everyone is comfortable. I for one will never be okay with my partners seeing others alone. I just can’t handle it, even if they can. So we compromise. Other women are okay with me as long as I am a part of that’s okay! We deal with it by communicating a lot. Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s even more important when you want to open up a relationship. 22 April 29, 2014
by dakota eye
feelings. You may never get over the vague unsettling feeling, and the best way to deal with it is to simply tell your boyfriend and let them know you might need a bit of extra love and attention after they are with someone else, just to reassure you a bit. A quick note on sexual health: when it comes to non monogamy you need even more protection! Make sure to use condoms, internal condoms, dental dams and plain old common sense. If a person doesn’t want to use barrier protection, they aren’t a person you should fuck. Get tested often and make sure you let the person testing you know how many partners you have had and that you need a complete STD check. I personally get blood drawn since it makes me feel more secure with my results. If anything down there seems off, go right to a doctor. keep you healthy:
gmail.com or tweet me @Semiproperv!
semiproperv@
COMIX
VOL XXXV Issue 13 23
OPINION
THE WARLORDS OF GRAVEL STREAM, AN E P I C graphic by holly lavelli
by taylor knoedl
In this village, control shifts between the council of Warlords who’ve lain claim at the time. Often the Warlords serve the good of the villagers. But on other occasions, the Warlords hold power for the sake of it. In this village there is a Guild of Knights and a Guild of Mercenaries. The Guild of Knights uphold their oaths to the village, for that is where their loyalty lies. Their service is to the people and their swords and armor glow true and glorious. They uphold truth and honor above all. The Guild of Mercenaries are different from the Knights. The Mercenaries often serve the village, but that isn’t entirely where their loyalty lies. They wish to spur competition amongst their benefactors. The Mercenaries different honor. Their means may be bloodier than those of the Knights, but the Mercenaries too serve the truth in a way. The two factions would often wage war amongst one another. The Knights would challenge the Mercenaries’ integrity, and the Mercenaries would tell the Knights they were wound too tight. But during these times, the village found itself at odds with their ruling body of Warlords. But nowadays, the Knights and the Mercenaries don’t they are very much the same. But the Warlords these days, they bred an agitation that the Knights and Mercenaries could not ignore. 24 April 29, 2014
Before these times the Warlords would often be benevolent- at least by Warlord standards. Their council chamber doors were open and they would welcome members of the village to engage in the affairs of the village. Even the Knights and the Mercenaries found themselves in the service of the Warlords. They were welcomed openly as honorable assets to the village. During these times there
But Warlords have come and gone in this village, as have the Knights and Mercenaries. In these times when the Knights and Mercenaries stood alongside one another in battle it wasn’t only out of newly forged alliance, but out of common enemy. This newest reign of Warlords would begin to close their doors to the people of the village. They saw no need for the Knights or the Mercenaries. They considered the two guilds to be a pestilence upon the village that hindered their strength as rulers. Before their time, council chambers were a place of criticism and addressment. They served the better of the village. This is what the Knights and Mercenaries were honored for. They would serve the villagers when the Warlords didn’t and the Warlords took this service to heart, for they too served the villagers. But the council chamber doors have since shut. Only the Warlords are welcome. No longer are there villagers or
OPINION Knights or Mercenaries present. The council chamber went from a forum of constructive criticism to an echo chamber of boasts and revels. They only peer out from the upper windows in order to catch a glimpse of what happened in the village below. The Warlords reveled in their greatness and shared tales of their battles with the Knights and the Mercenaries. During their time of great boasting, they grew fat and mad with their obsession with themselves. They stayed sealed in the council chamber of echoes. They began to develop strange behaviors. One of the Warlords was known to spend an extended period of time in the latrine. Some say this time was particularly spent between defecation itself, and wiping. This brought great concern to the villagers; this was their ruling body! The Knights and the Mercenaries
would attempt to battle them, but they could not breach the gates of the council chambers. They wanted to show the Warlords how grotesque they had become. But in time, there came an era of new Warlords. The old Warlords who would lock themselves up in the council chambers as they writhed in their own grandeur were forced to move on. Little is known what has become of them. Typically when Warlords leave, they join the other Warlords in foreign lands. But never have the Warlords grown as grotesque as this particular lot. It is wondered if they were accepted by the other Warlords. Perhaps in these distant lands, these Warlords had at least become aware of their own grotesqueness.
WHY I DESPISE CAMPUS DINING by lindsay andarakis
For most of my freshman year of college at SUNY Oneonta in 2011-2012, I was miserable. While trying to other than being far away from family and friends, your bedroom, your hometown and the vicious draining of your bank account, I realized there was one thing above all that was the worst for me: the food. When you don’t eat well, you just don’t feel good. After transferring to Stony Brook in the fall of 2013, I realized a similar pattern. I was excited to hear that they were making an effort to improve campus dining by rebuilding Kelly Dining into
well as every other place there is to dine on campus. If anyone else has had a similar experience to mine and tends to eat the same food items every week, they’ve realized by now that the prices never stay the same. Whoever your cashier happens to be on a particular day charges you what they think seems to be a good price for whatever odd combination of things you are purchasing. Of course, if you’re going to make any attempt to eat healthy, you might as well go with the platinum meal plan right off the bat and add hundreds of dollars just to make that work. I use the bronze meal plan because I tend to go home on the weekends, like most other residents at Stony Brook. Being that I am not here Thursday through Monday night, rather quickly during the semester when I am only eating on campus about a third of the week to eat. $1,325 was added to my account to pay for the required
meal plan for the spring semester, but I paid much more than that. I don’t understand why it is mandatory to purchase an overpriced meal plan if you’re a resident on the campus. If you want to eat the Oreos and ramen noodles you’ve bought at Wal-Mart for the entire semester, that is your right and your business. Stony Brook already tells us enough of what we can and can’t do, let alone telling us what we can have to eat. Grab-and-go items are among the most expensive and the least fresh. Who on Earth wants to pay over $5 for a COLD oatmeal parfait? Nobody: that’s why there is always so many left on the shelves. If you want to opt for something besides fried chicken, onion rings and Pepsi then you’d better show them the money. A salad and a Naked smoothie drink can cost upwards of $15 at the Student Activities Center. Besides paying obscene amounts for food that is not appetizing, if you ever step foot in the SAC at lunch time on a week day, you’re probably going to drop your food because Stony Brook needs to stop making things fancy and try to get down the basics. Kids want pizza, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and breakfast at all times of the day. We don’t need lobster tails and Jello cups. Instead of trying to master international cuisine with strange exotic ingredients, they would be a lot better off making good food with basic things. Also: who decided it was a good idea to pay for each item individually? Talk about not thinking something out… See you around,
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AA E-ZINE
CASB’s China Night 2014 by Demi Guo with photos by Sammy Chan and Eric Leung Last summer Leonardo DiCaprio raised his glass before a palette of fireworks, looked the world in the eye, and told it, “I’m Gatsby.” As far as the Great Gatsby was concerned, his events would make all others look like a Stony Brook dorm party. (Cue: Shots fired.) SPOILER ALERT: Gatsby lives! But Daisy does not. Gatsby’s life for Daisy’s. Fair trade, right? That was how it was in the Chinese Association of Stony Brook’s magnum opus, China Night, on Saturday night, April . It may not have the bright colors and imagery that Baz Luhrmann gave everyone, but it did have its own perks. “The Whoring Twenties” is the latest out of CASB’s pride and joy, a 40 years-old series of annual plays featuring performances from cute guitar solos to risqué (read: mostly naked) modeling.
CASB’s Gatsby (above left) was one of the richest men in China; because he was, as he often complained, “dehydrated” (read: thirsty), he was immediately drawn to Daisy (above right), who along with Myrtle was one of Tom’s doting concubines.
Daisy, on the other hand, complained, “You’re so old-fashioned!” whenever she visited her cousin, Nick, who required her to take her shoes off upon entering the house. Nick, on the other hand, unamusedly commented on the only reason she would visit him: for money. It did not take her very long to cajole him before running off with another few thousand yuan. In between acts, the stage crew would take minutes to switch between various backdrops, playing “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody” from the movie: two decorated curtains designed with shop backgrounds and even dragons. They provided transitions from Tom ordering his concubines to make him sandwiches and Daisy’s desire for men with money to Wilson the butler being pushed around and the truth behind Gatsby’s wealth through his so-called laundry business. Not to mention the deadly duo of Jordan and her ping pong paddles, which she used to strike Wilson, who screamed “Aiya!” as he went down. And sometimes the transition would lead the SAC auditorium audience into a performance: Marcus Su’s was one of two
AA E-ZINE
performances, during which he sang Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball,” quickly switching to OneRepublic’s “Counting Stars” before the chorus. Couples strode almost completely nude to the thrust stage during “Lingerie,” posing skinny curves and six packs to the escalated hoots of the audience. It was all a very flawless display of eye candy but for one little flaw—the men probably skipped leg day. Most of the noise came from the front rows, where the fraternities and sororities sat shouting throughout the night before “strolling” onstage in the final performance, leaving almost immediately after completion. Upon their leave for the afterparty, the auditorium became noticeably more bare: About half of the audience had left. Between eating mapo tofu by the Yellow River and Gatsby enjoying his “ass!—ets,” the plot boiled down to F. Scott Fitzgerald’s original love triangle, as Daisy struggled between choosing Gatsby and Tom (read: they’re both rich). Tom’s emotional monologue as he stripped was not much help, but it did entertain the audience some more. But the kicker was the dialogue, as Daisy was told to not be “such a bitch,” eliciting screams and one audience member calling, “PUNCH HER IN THE THROAT!” Or even Jordan threatening Wilson with, “Scram! Before I hit you with my paddle. Again.” (“KICK HER IN THE FACE!”) ...Leading to the two deus ex machina, one of which brought about what surely must have
been something people have wanted for about a century: Daisy’s death (and not Gatsby’s) at the end of Jordan’s paddle. And to the cheers of the watchers, Wilson stripped his shirt to reveal a six pack of his own, something surely Fitzgerald’s Wilson did not have. Also missing in the novel was
Wilson’s inner man, as he struck down Gatsby’s associates in bootlegging DVDs and walked off the stage with Myrtle, while Gatsby and Tom made nice and became friends. This much-anticipated event of the year did leave one lingering thought, as the seniors of CASB thanked everyone and made one last bow: Daisy’s death solves everything.
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