Shallina Goodnight

Administrative Director, CoxHealth at Home

51

Leave people in a better state than you found them.

When you care about someone, they know it. Prepare your heart to be intentionally present with that person and invest in them. Whether it’s a two-minute conversation with someone you just met or your weekly meeting with a team member, the intention you set and what you are prepared to give to the person across from you makes the difference between a productive conversation and one where the other person walks away feeling cared for and seen.

52 Channel your inner cheerleader.

Promote and celebrate the ideas and contributions of others. One of the most powerful ways to use your voice is to cheer for and champion others. How many good ideas have died on a conference room table because no one heard the idea? Or worse, think about the ideas that were attributed to someone else entirely because they talked louder? You can prevent that. Repeat the idea, give credit to the person who suggested it (make a sign with poster board and glitter glue if you must), and ask follow-up questions. A great idea deserves to be heard, and someone brave enough to say it, even quietly, deserves to be celebrated.

You have a superhero. Don’t be afraid to get them out.

Gotham City shines a big bat-shaped light when they need Batman. For me, the signal is more of a feeling, and not even my favorite kind. I know it’s time to channel my inner superhero when I feel intimidated. When that feeling starts to bubble up, I can either stay small and safe, and say nothing, or imagine what my inner superhero would do. And then I do that. When I’m intimidated and afraid to take up space in the room (on the call, at the table, etc.), I’ve found that in those moments, my superhero just gets stronger and braver.

Notes:

Say the nice part out loud.

When you observe something nice about someone, you should say it aloud for their benefit and for your own. When I intentionally began telling people positive things I observed about them, I became aware of more positive observations of others. This happened so often that an overwhelming majority of my thoughts regarding other people are positive observations. That could mean crossing the street to give someone you don’t know a compliment or making a comment totally out of context in a conversation. Focusing on the positive attributes of other people can not only change your worldview but maybe, over time, how the world sees itself.

Celebrate those you admire and learn from them.

The accomplishments of others are an inspiration, not a definition.

Books are always better than their movies for many reasons. But for me, it’s that after I know how something unfolds, I lose the ability to imagine anything different. The same can be true of trying to follow the footsteps of those we admire. We limit ourselves by trying to replicate someone else’s path. The beauty and wonder of life are in the journey and following someone else’s map puts our own unrealized potential into a narrowly defined box where it was never meant to be. Celebrate those you admire and learn from them. Then, continue to dream your own dreams.

Don’t hide what’s behind the curtains.

Living and leading authentically means being willing to show that you are human – flaws and all. I’m willing to say: “I made a mistake,” “I would handle that differently,” “I’m worried about,” and “I’m afraid of.” These statements shine a light on our vulnerabilities and imperfections while creating more trust and credibility in relationships than looking like we are doing everything right all the time. The imperfections, mistakes and the hard times are what bring us together and unite us. Whereas the glaringly false veneer of perfection is nothing more than a wall that separates us from others.

Use office supplies you love.

I love lipstick, confetti and sprinkles! Presentation makes things fun and inviting. The same goes for work. I love pretty notebooks, patterned folders, fun pens, paperclips and sticky notes. Intentionally turning everyday details into delightful elements that, even if only for me, elevate the otherwise mundane. There may be a lot we can’t control in life but working from a plain manila folder is one of them.

Make meeting new people memorable for you both.

The next time you meet someone new, don’t ask what they do for a living. If you can find it on a name tag, business card or LinkedIn profile, you can be sure that is not the most interesting information you can learn about them. Instead, make an observation and then ask questions about it. It doesn’t matter if it is right or wildly wrong. It shows that you are looking past the obvious and are interested in genuinely knowing the person. You’ll break the ice and you’ll both be more likely to remember the interaction.

I have been given leadership roles since the age of 17 and, by conventional thinking, I have not been ready for a single one. I grew up thinking that leading meant knowing all the answers. I’ve since learned that my job isn’t to be the smartest person in the room (good thing), but to bring out the talent and expertise of the team members entrusted to me. Looking back, growth has started with a genuine curiosity about the point of view of others. Asking questions and encouraging questions from your team fosters a culture of trust in one another and builds the confidence that together, we have what we need to venture into the unknown and accomplish goals which otherwise wouldn’t be possible.

When all else fails, do something really, really hard.

There are times when the solutions to problems or the vision of what you should do next seem to come naturally. Other times, they don’t. When I feel blocked or in a rut, I know that is my cue to throw myself into completing something hard. It doesn’t matter what, I’ve found the daily discipline of training, preparing, studying or otherwise working toward a big personal goal, stimulates my mind and spurs new patterns of thought.