By Design | 2014 | spring issue

Inside By Design

FROM THE EDITOR I HEARD IT ONCE SAID, “If you pretend to be perfect, people will admire you at a distance for a while, but if you are honest and humble, they’ll love you up close for a lifetime.” If this is true, then why aren’t we real, genuine, and authentic in our relationships? Why do we pretend to be more than we are when in reality we are nothing without God and less than we could be without each other? Could it be we’re too busy with schedules, afraid of vulnerability, or scared of rejection? Or maybe it’s just a matter of pride. We’re too proud to let others into our world. We’re often afraid of what they will think of us, if they will judge us, or if they will like us. Bottom line…pride—the original sin— interferes with authenticity, being real with God, each other, and ourselves.

Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. ~ Philippians 2:3-5 (Living Bible)

Women’s Ministry Strategist

Humility is the opposite of pride and the key to authenticity. Gals, it’s time we get real with God and with one another. It’s time to put aside pretense and stop trying to impress one another and instead befriend, love, and pray for one another. It’s time to take on the attitude of Christ with one another.

Nobody likes a phony. Do you? I don’t, even though I realize I’ve been one. Pride has allowed me to be too busy, afraid of rejection, and fearful of vulnerability. It’s caused me to be less than honest with God, others, and myself. In the past, it’s hindered relationships and left me wanting more out of life.

Girlfriends, let’s make 2014 the year of authenticity. Let’s commit to getting real with God, each other, and ourselves. Let us build honest, lasting relationships. Let’s stop pretending, get authentic, and be real through the ages.

RESOURCEReview Café Chocolat Women’s Ministry Retreat kit by Group Does simply thinking about chocolate bring a smile to your face? Do you want to give women a time to slow down, enjoy time with friends, and grow closer to God? Welcome to Café Chocolat! The Café Chocolat Retreat kit is here to make it easy for you plan and host an inexpensive professional retreat.

For more information about Café Chocolat, please visit: http://www.group.com/womens-ministry/retreats/cafe-chocolat

The all-inclusive portable kit contains everything you need to host and plan your own Café Chocolat Retreat. This means you’ll receive detailed schedules, volunteer descriptions, worship music, planning tips, games to play, and much more. It provides it all so you can plan with ease. No matter how much experience you have, the guidelines provided will save you hours of time.

The purpose of the Café Chocolat Retreat experience is to have women feel affirmed and encouraged to grow closer to Jesus. Through the study of the miracles of Jesus, women will see how God’s grace is evident in their lives and the lives of others. They’ll leave the retreat inspired to deepen their relationship with God and each other.

To reserve this resource, or to view our complete list of Women’s Ministry resources AVAILABLE FOR LOAN to your SBCV church, visit SBCV.org.

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By Design

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who trust in him! –Psalm 34:8

THE MAGAZINE FOR CHRISTIAN WOMEN AN ONLINE PUBLICATION OF THE SBC OF VIRGINIA Editor Tammy Bennett Creative Director/Online Publisher Patti Spencer Production Creative Partner Innovative Faith Resources (IFR) Vice President, IFR Brandon Pickett Published by the SBC of Virginia Executive Director Brian Autry Church Strengthening Team Leader Steve Bradshaw Women’s Ministry Strategist Tammy Bennett

Coconut Truffles Nothing says, “I love you,” like a chocolate candy truffle.

This recipe for Dark Chocolate Coconut Truffles is a crowdpleaser and a must-have for your candy recipe collection. It’s decadent yet simple and ohhhhh so yummy!

While I normally recommend using the best chocolate you can find, when making truffles, I prefer using dark chocolate chips as opposed to dark chocolate bars. The stabilizers in the chips help the truffles to set up firmer and hold their shape. This recipe yields a dozen small 1 ½" truffles.

1 ½ cups unsweetened shredded coconut ½ cup cream cheese ½ cup confectioners' sugar ½ teaspoon coconut extract 6 ounces dark chocolate (or 1 cup dark chocolate chips) 1 teaspoon extra-virgin coconut oil Beat the coconut, cream cheese, confectioners' sugar, and extract with a mixer until smooth. Roll into 1 ½" balls and place on a wax paper-lined cookie sheet. Freeze for about one hour.

In a small saucepan over low heat, melt the chocolate and coconut oil, while stirring constantly. Dip each coconut ball into the melted chocolate with a fork, covering the ball completely with chocolate, letting the excess drain through the fork tongs.

Use a spoon to lightly push truffle off fork and back onto the wax paper.

Refrigerate until set. Store in an air-tight container in the refrigerator. Enjoy!

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by Tammy Bennett, Author of Looking Good From the Inside Out

ARE YOU A

Designer Knock-Off W

?

hen I visited China once, I had apart. You are not what you the opportunity to go shopping. I pretend to be because, instead remember entering the Chinese of being real, you’ve just become marketplace and being overwhelmed by the really good at faking it. variety of designer look-alikes that were According to God’s Word, He, in His available. As I perused the aisles, I happened supreme authenticity, does not approve upon designer handbags, which particularly of impostors and, although we can caught my attention since I happened to own sometimes get by with faking-out others, we one. The sales girl immediately recognized can never fake it with Him. God wants us to be my interest and started spouting out prices. I just as beautifully put together on the inside. So quickly did the math conversion in my head and get real—genuine with others, true to yourself, realized I could buy the knock-off purse for a and set apart unto God. fraction of the normal cost, so I picked one up and began to look it over. As I examined it, I was Stop pretending and be yourself. Realize we amazed at how genuine it appeared. It looked all have problems of some sort or another— like a designer bag, divorce, sickness, had the feel of a abuse, addiction, designer bag, and God hasn’t invited us into a disorderly, unkempt difficulties even sported the life but into something holy and beautiful—as with children, designer swing family strife, beautiful on the inside as the outside. tag, but when I workplace drama, 1 Thessalonians 4:7 (The Message) unfastened it to unemployment… look at the interior, and the list goes I recognized on. Everyone the truth—it was a fake! Although the outside has some sort of issue. No one is perfect, so gave the impression that it was the real deal, stop pretending. You may fool all of the people the cheap, flimsy fabrication on the inside some of the time, you can even fool some of the revealed that it was indeed a knock-off, an people all of the time, but you cannot fool God imposter, a wannabe Coach bag. any of the time.

Are you like that handbag? Do you appear to have it all together on the outside; however, on the inside, you’re a wreck? From the outside, you look genuinely perfect, but if others could peek on the inside, they would discover you’re unraveling and falling

To sum it up, even though it’s okay to fake it in fashion, it’s not okay to fake it in faith. You are the workmanship of the Designer of this universe, and as the saying goes, “God doesn’t make junk.” He has labeled you as His daughter, so even if you are sporting a designer knock-off handbag, knock off the phony acting, get real with God, be authentic with others, and be the real deal from the inside out.

After months of planning, the SBCV Women’s Leadership Team is delighted to announce the theme of the

2014 Women’s Conference:

Authenticity…

REAL THROUGH THE AGES

On March 15, 2014, the SBC of Virginia will partner with Swift Creek Baptist Church to host a conference for gals of all ages and stages of life. Whether you are 18 or 108, we are excited to gather for a time of Kingdom purpose and to change our world for the better!

FEATURED SPEAKER: Rachel Lovingood Rachel is the "Next Generation" pastor’s wife and a women’s leader at Long Hollow Baptist Church in Hendersonville, TN. She has co-authored two books: In Our Shoes: Real Life Issues for Ministers’ Wives

by Ministers Wives and Salvaging My Identity: A 40 Day Experience for Girls and Women. Rachel uses her passion for Christ, her energetic style, and crazy sense of humor to encourage and teach women of all ages to find the answers they need from the only true source of wisdom— the Bible. She is a pastor’s wife, mother of three, a friend, a writer, and a teacher. Her experiences working in Youth Ministry as well as Women’s Ministry have developed in her a deep love for women of all ages and a mission to help enable them to live victoriously in spite of everyday struggles.

What others are saying about Rachel…

Thank you for being so real! I could totally relate to everything you said. ~ Heather I love that you made me laugh so much then challenged me about my faith… God used you in big ways, and I’m so grateful. ~ Cheri In addition to Rachel’s teaching, age-appropriate breakout sessions will be offered to inspire, enlighten, and challenge us to be better versions of who we are becoming in Christ.

For a complete list of breakout sessions, visit sbcv.org/women.

March 15, 2014 9:00 AM ­— 4:30 PM SWIFT CREEK BAPTIST CHURCH 7511 North Spring Run Rd, Midlothian, VA 23112 804-739-3001 Online Pre-registration: $25 | At-the-Door Registration: $35 Registration includes: all sessions, fashion tote, breakfast snack, boxed lunch, and devotional booklet To pre-register: www.sbcv.org/women

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LifeWay's

Leading AN INTERVIEW WITH CHRIS ADAMS

Watch Video: The Vision of Women's Ministry lifeway.com/Article/Chris-Adams-Biography

Lady

by Tammy Bennett Women’s Ministry Strategist SBC of Virginia to LifeWay to work with women’s leaders across the country. I have had the joy of learning from and training Women’s Ministry leaders now for almost 19 years and still can’t believe I get to do this.

Chris Adams is the women’s enrichment and ministers’ wives specialist in training events for LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention. She is the wife of Pat, mother of Amanda and Alycia, and grandmother of Alex, Baylee, Lauryn, Braden, Annie, and Isabella. When Chris is not busy writing, speaking, and hosting women’s training events, she enjoys spending time at the beach, exercising, watching ice skating, playing with her grandchildren, traveling with Pat, and spending time alone with God. I was recently able to catch up with Chris and have her answer some of your most pressing questions.

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TB

What is your heart for the Women’s Ministry role in which you serve?

CA

When the Lord first began spiritually transforming my life as a young woman, I wanted other women to grow as disciples as well. As I watched women who had never led before change, grow bold for the Lord, and begin serving, I was hooked. When I became a full-time staff leader for missions education and women at my former church in Texas, I thought I was experiencing heaven on earth. In 1994, that call to women led me

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TB

What is the biggest obstacle you face in your position?

CA

Probably a lot like any ministry leader in the church or an organization—so much to do, so many needs, wanting to do it all and do it well! …Issues big and small that arise and knowing how to handle each one…but desperately needing God’s discernment and wisdom to deal with each His way.

TB

What is the greatest reward of your role at LifeWay?

CA

Hearing from Women’s Ministry leaders as God is growing their women and developing the ministry. It’s always a thrill to hear that one training event, one Bible study resource, one article, one link to a website, or one conversation helped a leader serve well. I love getting to help women’s leaders find solutions to their challenges in ministry.

TB

What is your ultimate vision for Women’s Ministry?

CA

From a denominational perspective, the goal is to partner with Women’s Ministry leaders as they are making disciples, to help them network with others and with us to find biblical solutions to their ministry needs.

I also want to provide trustworthy resources and events (training and enrichment) to make it easier to do their job and help them as they lead their women.

Chris Adams Chris Adams is Senior Lead Women’s Ministry Specialist at LifeWay Christian Resources, Nashville, Tennessee. Prior to her employment at LifeWay in December 1994, Chris was the special ministries coordinator at Green Acres Baptist Church in Tyler, Texas coordinating women’s ministry and missions education. She is an ongoing guest teacher at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary’s Women’s Certificate Program, where she received her undergraduate degree in Christian Ministry from the seminary’s Leavell College. Chris has been a consultant, speaker and conference leader in a variety of church and denominational roles.

She is a contributor and guest editor of Journey, and compiled Women Reaching Women: Beginning and Building a Growing Women’s Ministry, Transformed Lives: Taking Women’s Ministry to the Next Level, and Women Reaching Women in Crisis. In 2008, Chris received the Career of Excellence award at LifeWay. She is a wife, mother of twin daughters, and grandmother of 7. She also loves reading, good coffee, and chocolate!

Visit her blog at LifeWay.com/WomenReachingWomen.

In my church, I lead a women’s small group and serve on our women’s team. My goal there is to meet women where they are and help them go where God wants them to be as fully devoted followers of Christ.

TB

If you could go back and do something over again, what would it be?

CA

How great it would have been to have learned earlier in life that God’s purpose for my life is greater than anything I personally ever thought I was created for. I would have loved to have been discipled personally when I first became a Christian so that I wouldn’t have wasted so many early years not knowing how to daily grow in my relationship with Christ (or even that I was supposed to). To understand earlier in my Christian walk that my personal daily awareness of Christ in me would influence every other part of my life.

TB

What sort of things make you cry?

CA

When I think of how God must feel as He watches our culture continue to grow away from His principles. When I realize I’ve made a selfish choice or response as opposed to what He would have wanted me to do. When I see my precious grandchildren growing and am in awe of the blessing in that. When I watch the sunset at the beach or the wildlife in my backyard and am so grateful for the incredible blessing of creation.

TB

Who is your biggest fan?

CA

Oh, my, I would not have any idea! Maybe my husband, my Yorkie (Mo), or my grands!

TB

What is your favorite guilty pleasure?

CA

The beach anytime I can get there! Reading anything and everything…but not nearly enough time to read all I want!

TB

What is your must-have comfort food?

CA

Chocolate and lots of it!

TB

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?

CA

Somewhere with a beach! Maybe Australia or New Zealand, Tahiti or the Seychelles.

TB

Okay, now we are getting personal. What is your original hair color?

CA

Seriously??? Okay, I will tell all. As a kid, I was blond then grew darker over the years, but back to blond now. No gray for me!

TB

My kind of woman! I’ve followed the exact same hair color regimen [a wink and a smile]. What is your favorite comfy thing to wear?

CA

In the summer—a turquoise dress, which I can never wear when speaking because there is no place for a mic!

(That’s happened twice.)

In the winter—flannel when around the house since I freeze all winter. (It’s not warm and sunny like on a beach, as you know!)

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TB CA TB CA

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I refuse to answer on the grounds that it would definitely incriminate me! But I never pay full price and they aren’t necessarily expensive to start with, but I do love choices.

Don’t gag…seashells! My favorite thing to do when I am at the beach is hours of walking the beach looking for them! And I collect other tropical beachy things so I can enjoy the feel, look, and sounds of the beach all year.

Who is allowed to see you with no makeup?

CA

No one! Well, maybe my husband but only because he’s with me all the time at home!

TB

Describe your most embarrassing moment.

CA

Using a word in a meeting at work that in my day meant one thing but today means something totally different.

How was I to know?

A close second is when I was called up on the stage at one of our women’s conventions and made to play “hose head hockey” (pantyhose on the head, honey bun in the foot, swinging to jerk off my opponent’s hose). I am not a big jokester and this was totally unexpected, but once I was on the stage in front of thousands of women, I had not choice but to get it over with so I could get off the stage. Total mortification! Then it showed up over the LifeWay intranet in a colorful photo.

CA

Who is your favorite author?

For fiction, Francine Rivers (especially the Mark of the Lion series) with Karen Kingsbury as a close second.

For nonfiction, I love books on leadership and ministry, especially Susan Hunt’s books, and recently read Just Lead: A No Whining, No Complaining, No Nonsense Handbook for Women Leaders in the Church by Sherry Surratt and Jenni Catron. I also love Sue Edwards’ writing, especially Mixed Ministry.

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CA

Do you collect anything?

TB

TB

TB

TB

What is your favorite movie?

CA

Beaches (of course), August Rush (the little guy is just so stinking cute and talented), Top Gun (because I also love military jets!)

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What makes you afraid?

“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in Him!” But if I have to answer, I would say maybe the unknown and the things my grandkids will face as they grow up in this culture.

TB

How can we pray for you?

CA

For ongoing discernment from God to lead well and make good, God-honoring decisions; to follow Christ more closely and serve selflessly as He did; to serve my family well; and that I would leave a legacy that points people to Christ long after I’m gone. To never put work before worship! To trust God daily for the “issues” that day may hold and to turn to Him quickly when I face them.

To learn more about Chris Adams and LifeWay Women’s Ministry resources, visit www.LifeWay.com.

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TenTime-Saving Tips The arrival of spring is the perfect time to clean up and organize your home.

Here are 10 household tips to help you save time and money.

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lace dryer sheets in dresser drawers, and your clothes will smell fresh for weeks to come.

You can also place them in your luggage when you travel.

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O

ave money by making your own glass cleaner.

Pour 2 cups warm water into a bucket. Add ¼ cup white vinegar and ½ teaspoon dishwashing liquid. Mix these ingredients and put them in a spray bottle.

y simply using a home fragrance spray or lighting a scented candle, you'll make your home feel cozy and inviting. Even when you get behind in your chores, a nice-smelling home will prompt an immediate and pleasant reaction. spring 2014

euse dryer sheets by using them to clean soap scum in your shower or tub.

7 nce a week, clean your toilet by dropping two denture tablets into the bowl and leaving them for at least 20 minutes.

Next, give the inside of the bowl a quick brushing and flush. The same action that brightens dentures will make your toilet sparkle.

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pray plastic storage bowls with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces, and there won’t be any stains.

S

ake an efficient cleaning station from a shoe organizer by hanging it on the back of a closet door and filling the pockets with rags, furniture polish, brushes, and other cleaning supplies.

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henever you purchase a box of S.O.S. pads, take a pair of scissors and cut each pad in half. This serves two purposes—the S.O.S. pads last twice as long, and you sharpen your scissors at the same time!

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ired of trying to find the pillowcases that match the sheets? Try this simple trick: save time and space by storing sheet sets inside their matching pillowcases.

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ired of cleaning the stovetop after a pot boiled over? When you put on a pot of water, place a wooden spoon over the top of the pot. If it starts to boil over, the spoon will pop the bubbles, giving you more time to reduce the heat. (Note: this could warp a wooden spoon, so don't use your favorite).

Have a Heart

THE HEART THAT KEEPS ON GIVING Once upon a time, boy met girl, they got married, and lived happily ever after.

Every day was filled with sunshine, laughter, and romance…and then I woke up, reality set in, and the honeymoon was over. As women, we often fantasize about the happily-ever-after. We envision that once we get married, every day will be wedded bliss. We expect our spouse to spend the rest of his life romantically wooing us, and when this doesn’t happen, we become forlorn. Well, the truth is, it’s the norm. Life happens and, unfortunately for most, romance gets lost in the shuffle. Don’t fool yourself—keeping the love alive takes effort, and the longer you’re married, the more effort is needed. I speak from experience because I’ve been married to my high-school sweetheart for more than 32 years. Over the years, we’ve had our ups and downs, highs and lows, and everything in between, but the one constant is our love for God and each other. Yet even in our devotion to God and each other, romance still takes work. Through the years, we’ve done various romantic things for one another, but one of our constant simple, silly, little keep-the-love-alive secrets is a plastic heart-shaped bracelet. You know the kind you buy 12 for a dollar at the dollar store? That’s it.

by Tammy Bennett Women’s Ministry Strategist SBC of Virginia

On our eighth anniversary, my hubby made me breakfast in bed. It wasn’t much (he can’t cook to save his life)—just cereal, toast, coffee and a little green plastic heart-shaped bracelet. At the time, I thought, “Hmmm, does he honestly expect me to wear this thing?” But then he explained it wasn’t for me to wear, just a reminder of his love and devotion for me. After that, I took the heart and placed it inside his suitcase before he went away on a business trip, and then he came home and placed it on my pillow. This sentimental habit started more than 24 years ago and is still going strong today. Just last night, I found the little green plastic heart placed around my toothbrush. It’s now my move. Where will I put it next? Inside his shoe, on the seat of his car, in his gym bag…somewhere he’ll find it and know I love him and my heart belongs to him. It’s true that the honeymoon might be over, but romance still fills the air.

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Why Retreat?

This past summer, the SBC of Virginia hosted a Women’s Ministry Leadership Retreat in Rockville, VA. Ladies from 28 churches throughout the Commonwealth attended the two-day event.

During the retreat, the gals laughed together, cried together, and brainstormed together. They developed friendships, grew their relationship with Jesus, and lives were changed. As one attendee stated, Each of us received personal encouragement from God through the sisterhood of Christ. – Sue So you might wonder, what’s so special about a retreat? Why do they work? Why is it that when we pack a bag, travel to a destination, and study the Bible in a different location, we suddenly experience a spiritual breakthrough we haven’t at home? I believe there are

1.

PREPARATION

Although most of us attend church on a weekly basis, we rarely prepare for a church service the way we prepare for a retreat. Personally, as a retreat leader or attendee, I start praying for the retreat weeks in advance. I ask God to prepare both the conference leadership and me for something great to happen in the lives of those who attend.

2.

PERSPECTIVE

Sometimes we just need a fresh perspective. So often we get caught up in the same ol’ same ol’ and lose track of our frame of mind. The speaker may even say the same ol’ thing in a different way, giving you a new outlook—something you had never realized before.

3.

POSITION

When you attend a retreat, you are put in a different position. You are no longer wife, mother, employee, Sunday School teacher, etc. You are you. You are in a position to just sit, listen, pray, praise, and worship without any other responsibilities getting in the way.

4.

PROCESS

A retreat gives you time to process what God is teaching you. It allows you the benefit of discussion with other women as well as time alone for God to deal with you on a more intimate level.

5.

PROTECTION

five basic reasons retreats work:

A retreat offers a protection from the outside world that you don’t always receive in the local church. Many women, especially women in ministry, find it difficult to relax and be ministered to at their home church. At a retreat, women are allowed to let their hair down, get real, and share without the fear of being judged or rejected.

So what are you waiting for? Are you ready for a retreat experience? If so, you can join us at our 2014 SBCV Women’s Ministry Leadership Retreat August 15-16 in Rockville, VA. The theme will be Connections. For more information, go to www.sbcv/women.org.

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Women of ALL Ages MENTORING Women of ALL Ages

Engage Equip Encourage

SBC of Virginia WOMEN’S MINISTRY 4956 Dominion Blvd Glen Allen, VA 23060 888-234-7716 804-270-1848 (local) 804-270-1834 (fax) sbcv.org sbcv.org/articles/category/womens_ministries facebook.com/pages/SBCV-Womens-Ministries/145661312162290

Women’s Ministry Strategist

Tammy Bennett tbennett@sbcv.org — EMAIL 888-234-7716 — PHONE @SBCVgal — TWEET