4 Questions to Ask Aging Parents About their Finances
If you haven’t discussed your aging parents’ longterm financial goals with them, you aren’t alone. Many people shy away from family conversations about money because it may feel awkward or uncomfortable – or they may fear that their parents won’t be react well if the subject is broached. Unfortunately, avoiding the topic can create confusion and headaches down the line if your parents become incapacitated or pass away unexpectedly – particularly if you’re in charge of aspects of their estates like serving as executor or power of attorney.
Just as every family is different, there is no “one size fits all” approach when it comes to discussing money, but it can help to start with basic and
practical questions that will give you a sense of your parents’ goals for the future without delving into more delicate territory. Use the following primer to start the conversation – and remember, these are usually not one-anddone discussions. Getting a full view of your parents’ financial situation may take time and patience –but it will serve you well in the long run to gather the information while you can.
1. “What do you want to accomplish over the next five-to-ten years?”
Understand your parents’ aspirations for the next few years. What are their personal and financial goals? If your parents are not yet retired, ask them when they plan to leave the workforce and what they want to achieve before they do. If your parents are retired, ask about how they want to spend their time. Will they move to a new state? Travel more? Pick up a part-time job or find a volunteer opportunity? Gathering a sense for how your parents want to spend their time will help you get on the same page with what to expect in the years ahead.
2.“Where can I find financial information in case of an emergency?”
Unexpected events or illness can occur at any time. If something unfortunate happens to your parents, it’s important for you to know how to access key personal, financial
and estate planning materials. Contact information for their financial advisor, tax professional, estate planner and lawyer is a great place to start. Make sure your parents have the right permissions in place so that you can step in when the need arises. Many professionals require documented authorization before they can legally discuss information with a family member. Additionally, ask your parents to consider sharing passwords for key accounts or letting you know where you can find a list of them. Having access to your parents’ smartphones, computers, social media or other accounts can help in an emergency.
3. “What do you want your legacy to be?” As people enter and move through retirement, they often become more focused on the legacy they want to leave behind. Ask your parents how they hope to be remembered, and what their plans are for making that happen. The following elements can be pivotal to the conversation:
• Will and trust: Ask your parents if they have an updated will or trust, and if there’s anything they’d like to share about how the assets will be distributed. Having a conversation about why your parents are allocating certain amounts to family members, charities or foundations while they are
still alive can help prevent future conflict and confusion after they pass away, when you will inevitably be dealing with other emotions and factors related to their death.
• Health care: Health care choices and expenses are often major sources of stress for retirees. Discussing your parents’ current health priorities, possible assisted living facilities or treatment options can give your family a roadmap to follow for future decisions. Ask your parents if they have formalized their wishes in a health care directive, which is a legally binding document that can enable them to choose a loved one to make medical decisions if they are unable to do so on their own.
4. “What support do you want from me?” Extending an offer to proactively help may eliminate frustrations or relieve stress for even the most independent and wellprepared parents. Keep in mind that assistance may be nonfinancial – such as completing house projects, planning more time with their grandchildren or helping identify how they can get involved in activities. Consider including a financial advisor or attorney in the discussion if your parents have financial or estate planning to-dos or questions.
Retirement and legacy planning can be complicated, but having regular
discussions with your parents can help you both prepare for the future. If you’ve already covered the necessary ground, a scheduled check-in can be helpful in case your parents’ plans or your family situation changes.
Duane J Lusson, CFP, ChFC, CLU, MSFS, is a Private Wealth Advisor with Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. in Ottumwa, Iowa. He specializes in fee-based financial planning and asset management strategies and has been in practice for 30 years. To contact him, call 641-684-4200 or stop by his office at 527 W. Second in Ottumwa, Iowa.
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Crying Wolf
It has been said that animals are virtuous and honest. For the most part, this is true. They live their lives doing what needs to be done, without malice toward others. Terriers, as a group of dogs, do not follow the rules. They seem to do whatever they want and will lie about it. Our terrier, named Jag, is a perfect example of this. At about six o’clock in the afternoon, he will let me know it is time to be fed. Obediently, I will feed him. If he spots my wife outside and I am not around, he will then tell her it is time for him to be fed. His lie is convincing enough, she will usually feed him again. It is getting to the point that he is becoming a bit chubby.
Our grandson also has a terrier, Karl. Karl is getting to be known as a grouchy old man. He will go out hunting with the other dogs, looking for rabbits or squirrels. His hunting companions, a beagle and a young Padderdale terrier, both have more
energy and endurance
than Karl. There will come a time in the hunt when the two younger dogs will start to leave Karl behind as he grows tired. He wants to be with the pack so he will start his big lie. He will go to the base of a tree and start barking, convincing the other two dogs that something is treed. Naturally, they come back to help him, only to find he is lying to them when there is no game scent anywhere around. During a hunt, the two younger dogs may fall for Karl’s trick a time or two but after a time, they start ignoring his lie.
Our trusty dog, Jag, has also been known to lie about a rabbit or squirrel in the yard. Billie, the poodle, will be sleeping on the couch inside when Jag will begin barking as though a hundred rabbits are invading the yard. Naturally, Billie jumps up and needs to go outside to help him.
This means either my wife or I must jump up and let Billie out. When everyone is outside to see what is going on, Jag is content and goes back to his job of watching his domain from his chair on the porch. He then looks at the assembled crowd as though to ask, “what is everybody doing out here?”
Last night, it was almost dark when Jag started barking at the base of an oak tree at the edge of the yard. Billie sprang to attention and wanted outside. I tried to convince him that Jag was lying to us. He would have none of that. I relented and he and I went out to check the disturbance. Jag continued to bark at the tree even after he got us outside. Though I was sure he was lying to us, his insistence caused me to go check to see if
he really did have something treed. He was overjoyed that both Billie and I were there to help. I looked everywhere in the tree and saw nothing. I was convinced, as usual, he was lying to us. Billie and I went back to the house and left Jag staring up the tree by himself. Before long, he started barking
again. Of course, Billie had to go see what was going on. This time, my wife let him out and could hear a squirrel high up in the oak tree, barking and scolding at Jag. This time he was not crying wolf.
