Save Ottumwa Post February 14, 2024

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•••••FEBRUARY 14, 2024•••••

Easter Eggs It is one thing to walk into the kitchen and forget why you went there but it is quite another to put something somewhere and forget it like it never happened. It is a rather disconcerting feeling.

Saturday, my wife and I were out driving around on the Ranger looking for shed deer antlers. We enjoy walking in the woods on a nice winter day, more for the pleasure of getting out of the house than finding antlers. It is a pleasant surprise when we discover a dropped antler, but we have yet to figure out what to do with them after we find them. So far, we have a whole lot of them stored in the little shed, a few hung in the garage, and the really big or unique ones displayed on the coffee table in the living room.

On our journeys about the farm, we ventured to the top of a hill overlooking the lake. My wife was walking a fence line hoping to spot antlers where deer jump over a fence and knock them off when they become loose. I went the op(Outdoors cont’d on pg 2)

PAGE 2 (Outdoors cont’d from pg 1)

posite direction following a deer trail into the woods. I have found it is good to stop occasionally and look where you have just traveled. Sometimes, at the same area from different angle will show things not seen before. A short distance into the timber, I stopped to look behind me. I noticed what appeared to be a trail camera mounted on a tree next to the trail I had just walked up. Thinking this was strange for someone to have a camera on my place, I went back and took it down. It is the same make and model as several other cameras I have. The color on the outside is faded, much like the others I bought several years ago. Surely, I could not have placed a camera and forgotten all about it. The display indicated the memory card was full.

The smaller memory cards, such as this one, will hold about a thousand pictures.

If this was indeed my camera, it had been out there on the edge of the timber for quite a while.

I put the camera in the Ranger, and we

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headed out to search a camera in the timber for two years and another spot for the forgetting about it like elusive deer antlers.

I never owned the After a few hours of thing, it is safe to say, driving and walking with little success, we I can probably hide my own Easter eggs decided to call it a and have a good time day. We enjoyed the hunting for them. time outside and got our share of fresh air and exercise.

Back at the house, I settled into my chair and opened the memory disk from the stray trail camera.

I was only moderately surprised to confirm, it is my camera. I had hung it next to a likely trail two years ago, and completely forgot about it. This trail is not well traveled as it took almost a year to fill the memory card with a thousand picture. There was an interesting collection of pictures showing the seasons changing with wildlife passing by. Though most pictures were of does, there were a number of bucks, a few raccoons, several turkeys, a coyote, and one picture of our grandson grinning into the camera as he happened to be walking by. Whenever he spots one of my cameras in the woods, he feels obligated to pose for a picture.

After leaving

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I picked up two lemons (Melissa would like those with her tea) and then went straight to the salad section. So many varieties from which to choose. I put three bags in my cart and moved on.

That’s when it happened right there at the end of the salad aisle, where it intersects with the carrot and celery display.

PAGE 3

ket, I quickly glanced at her cart. She had several items. I did a quick inventory of my own groceries, calculating my odds for victory.

I was surprised to learn different types of salad packages weighed different amounts; I’d never noticed that before. The Polk Salad Annie Mediterranean blend weighed eight ounces, I was going through the Romaine salad was emails in the office when I came wheel to wheel with a lady who was ten ounces, and the I came across one from pushing the same style Special Blend, with extra Hy Vee advertising an cart. We nearly collided, veggies, weighed twelve online special; Dole “Excuse me.” She said ounces. They all looked brand salad, three bags politely.

I couldn’t resist.

I the same size to me. I for $5. “That seems too challenged her. also noticed the expiragood to be true,” I said, but knowing that’s a darn “I see we’re pushing the tion date. good price, I made a same style of carts. You Expiration dates are so mental note to get some wanna race? Cart-title impersonal. Budweiser later. for cart-title?” Bring it on, broke that trend years lady! I thought to myago by calling it a “born I received a text mesself. I’m in the mood and on date.” You will more sage from my wife, who ready to rock and roll. likely become attached was home not feeling to something with a birth well: “These allergies are The woman, who apdate than a “best used trying to kill me. I would peared to have seen by” date. I mean, seritrade a back scratch if most of her 70s, wanted ously, all the way back to you would pick up some clarification. “Do you junior high school...who Sudafed for me.” Trade mean where we race, wants to be used, espea back scratch for some and the winner gets the cially by a specific date?

Sudafed? Pretty temptother person’s cart?” She In this case, Dole upped ing, but there could be asked.

Budweiser by writing, more in this for me.

“Enjoy by February 21.”

I nodded my head, and My wheels started to with a bit of sneer, I said, I liked that better, but I turn; it was lunchtime, digress.

“That’s right, ma’am.”

Hy Vee had Dole Salad on sale, and they sold She must have had some I looked up to think and did a little quick math in Sudafed, too. Two birds, knowledge about racone stone, and a bonus ing because she poked (Just the Other Day cont’d on pg 4) back scratch to boot. around my salad bags Grabbing my coat, I as if sizing me up. (That headed for the door. catchy song from Elvis started playing in my Walking into the grocery head - Polk Salad Annie.) store, I took a small cart “Well, to make it fair, we from the entry way. I should have to determine admired my choice of who has more weight in carts; small, shorter, their cart. The person lightweight, quick turning with the lighter cart would radius, and a wheelbase have an advantage, broad enough to provide wouldn’t you think?” She ample stability, allowing looked me right in the high-speed cornering eye and smiled. I think without fear of rolling she may have given me the cart over. This was a a competitive wink as high-performance cart; well. She was right, and I Ray’s these babies were built knew it.

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(Just the Other Day cont’d from pg 3)

my head; twelve plus ten is twenty-two, plus eight is a mere 30 ounces of salad plus two lemons.

There’s no way this lady can take me! I looked up to tell her she didn’t stand a chance, and... dang! She was threequarters of the way to the finish line! But before she left, she tossed two bags of my salad into the carrots and celery. I can’t believe I fell for that old trick. (Again!)

I retrieved my bags of salad as she rounded the corner to the left at the far end of the aisle, just down past the strawberries and grapes. I was determined to catch her. I was entitled to a rematch and wanted it - this time with a fair start!

I knew I could head her off at the pass with a good strategy. I’ll go around the other end and catch her in the pop and juice aisle. But she wasn’t there, so I continued; I passed the canned fruits and vegetables, past the pasta, the baking goods, the cereals, the dry goods, the cat and dog food.

“Cat food? We need cat food.” I tossed a bag of Iams Salmon flavor into my basket. I cruised all the way down, past the dairy to the frozen food section, but never found her. Man! That lady must have been flying!

Defeated, I went to the pharmacy, got the Sudafed, and then went to the checkout lanes while keeping an eye out

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for my newfound rival.

She was nowhere to be found. I began secondguessing myself, wondering if that entire incident was just some weird figment of my imagination! I paid for my goods and left.

passed me by, standing there in disbelief.

We shall meet again, my little blue-haired speedster. Only next time, I won’t be falling for any of your tricks!

After we finished eating, I raised the back of my shirt and slid closer to her. She seemed caught off guard, “What are you doing?”

“My back scratch,” I reminded her. “You said I walked to my car, deflat- you would trade me a ed, then drove home. At back scratch if I brought I stood just outside the front doors, scanning the least I was going to get a home Sudafed for you.” back scratch. parking lot for my car.

My wife shook her head, A champagne-colored My wife was pleased with “Why would I be giving Buick sedan drove by, my surprise; not only did YOU back scratch when and the driver tooted I bring her Sudafed, but I’m the one who isn’t her horn. Giving a quick I also made a salad for feeling well?” Maybe she wave, she appeared lunch. was delusional from the to be laughing as she allergies.

“You sent me a text saying you would trade a backscratch if I brought home Sudafed,” I explained. I opened my phone to show her the text. “See, look right here!”

Melissa read the message on her phone screen aloud, “It says ‘I would TAKE a back

scratch’ if you brought home Sudafed.”

I looked again at my phone, and that is indeed what it said. Mom always said, “If it seems too good to be true....”

After I gave my wife a back scratch, I tucked my shirt back in and headed for the front door. Our cat Evie sat on the bench over the heat register, “Thank you for the cat food,” she said. “Salmon is my favorite.”

Between my wife duping me out of lunch, a box of Sudafed, and a back scratch, that cat scoring a bag of Iams, and Polk Salad Annie beating me in a race that I should have easily won, Elvis stopped singing in my head. Now I could hear Mom saying, “Son, if it seems too good to be true....”