The First Time I Saw You by Laura Rumsey

The First Time I Saw You

by Laura Rumsey

No, I didn't know

the first time I saw you

And you may have been handsome

but you were beautiful yet --

or amazing or wonderful or "the

one."

Not yet

You were just you

and I was just me --

Me, in all of my strange

awkwardness

and bumbling unsurity

about anything, about everything,

about you

And no, I didn't know

the second time I saw you

or the third, or the fourth-

but somewhere in the sweet time

that has so quietly elapsed

You did become beautiful,

and amazing, and wonderful

So now you are the one I see, hear,

breath, live, need, want --

Now my life expects you

to be in the future somewhere,

I knew how much I wanted to love

you

when I saw you would not

love me

Maybe that knowledge fueled my

fire

Creating an unconcious need

Discovering the depth, the

possibility

has left me restless for you --

Feeling your power

I am scared of my heart

How do I tell it no?

Did you see the light

that followed you

whenever you came near me?

Strong and silent

these feelings continue to grow,

and somewhere from deep inside

I still hear your echoing laughter--

At me?

No, your beauty allows for

so little lasting pain,

pain you never meant to cause

The last time I saw you

was so much like the first--

Too much like the first

Except that this time I knew,

I wanted, I needed, I loved you

That much I knew

The rest is a blur of tears

and smiled and scents and sights

and songs

and none of it is as beautiful as

you

None of means anything without

you

Yes, the last time I saw you

I loved you

Me, in all my strange

awkwardness and bumbling

unsurity,

But knowing how deep that love

should have been able to go

Maybe it will grow in my still,

For now that I have known you

What could ever die?