The Brick Magazine - September 2021

BRICK

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SEPTEMBER 2021

MAGAZINE

HOW THE MUSES ARE HEALING ME ORGANIZING YOUR HOME IN STYLE

PLUS! LOCAL AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY

Girls Group

SUE SCHOONER, SHAVANNA THOMPSON, AND AYONA VAN HORN-LEE

ANN ARBOR

“it has to be more than pretty; it must be livable” R E F L E C T YO U R L I F E ST Y L E . www.birchdesignassociates.com R E S I D E N T I A L • COM M E RC I A L

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MAGAZINE

SEPTEMBER 2021

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

Managing Editor • Tanja MacKenzie

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

Cover Photographer • Emily Rose Imagery

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Contributors >> Dr. Alon Kahana Julie Mariouw

Tiffany Birch Bonnie Oaks Charron Liz Crowe

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Deborah Meadows Maria Sylvester Marji Wisniewski

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4 | The Brick Magazine

CONTENTS 6

Three Is Too Many: The Martini and Me

10

Girls Group with Sue Schooner, Shavanna Thompson, and Ayona Van Horn-Lee

16

Vitamin D: The Story Behind Our Skin Color and Overall Health

18

Organizing Your Home in Style

20

How the Muses Are Healing Me

22

The Monkey Bar Magic of Letting Go

26

Letting Go of Wooing and Making Room for Input

28

The Story of Carolyn Quarlls and Rev. Guy Beckley

www.emilyroseimager y.com

Life. Business. Captured.

www.ericreativemedia.com

Welcome to Booze 101 with

Liz

Three Is Too Many: The Martini and Me

by Liz Crowe

6 | The Brick Magazine

Of all the drinks in all the gin joints in all the world… there is nothing quite like the martini. What the martini is quite good at is getting you day-drink sloshed, but it is not for me to judge you, should you desire such a thing. Perhaps we have earned such liquid debauchery. Perhaps not. Regardless, it is, without a doubt, one of the most misunderstood forms of pure alcoholic content in a pretty glass I have yet conquered on our collective behalf.

T

hat is not a direct Ernest Hemmingway quote.

It’s merely my attempt at writing something that might could be misattributed to him in someone’s cringy Instagram post. I’d be flattered if it were, cringes and all.

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, our topic this month is the martini.

GIVE YOUR SKIN

Super Powers

First, let’s set a baseline: To order a “gin martini” is what we words-people like to call “redundant.” A martini, by definition, is made with gin. A martini by the same definition is not made with vodka. Ergo, should you wish to imbibe a cocktail that combines a clear liquor with vermouth and is served in a fancy triangle glass to be made with vodka, you need to order it that way.

And to think, I meant to start this month’s booze knowledge column by shaking a finger at all the muddling, bittering, simple-syruping, bacon-smoking, milk-washing, floweressence-ing craft mixologists by reminding them that “simple is better.”

Now let’s focus on the basics of the martini. Be wellreminded that if you’re a martini newbie, this drink is not for amateurs. It’s meant to be sipped, not slammed. It’s not meant to be served anything much above ice-cold. We’ll get into the whole shaken-vs-stirred controversy shortly.

Because I’m here first and foremost in an educational role, let’s cover some history. (Okay, so I’m really more on the inspirational side of things, but I do like giving you cocktail party tidbits now that we are returned to a cocktail party world.) Digression aside, the straightforward martini has a bit of a muddled history. Some claim it was invented in Martinez, California by a bartender who’d been asked by a jubilant gold miner to make him something to celebrate with in lieu of champagne. As it’s told, the bartender mixed in a bunch of ingredients he had on hand: gin, vermouth, bitters, and maraschino liqueur, and he garnished it with a slice of lemon. When said lucky miner tried to order one again while in San Francisco, the bartender required instruction, and so some ingredients got left out.

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Another school of martini thought holds that the drink was invented in San Francisco after a request by a miner on his way to Martinez. And still another one claims the whole thing was concocted at the Knickerbocker Hotel in New York. Finally, there’s a group of people who believe the drink’s name is a short version of Martini & Rossi, which is a brand of vermouth. So, the short answer is: Who knows?

But really, who cares?

The martini has inspired pop culture references galore, including the concept of the “three-martini lunch” back in the day when you could show up to work after lunch drunk as a proverbial skunk. The famed “shaken not stirred” version favored by a famous spy played by many different actors is another one. That one has inspired plenty of semi-famous quotes and quips as well. My favorite one is attributed to that bastion of class, Homer Simpson, when talking about bartender Moe: “He knows how I like my martini — full of alcohol.”

But don’t forget British novelist — and, some say, inventor of the cocktail party — Alec Waugh, who said, “I am prepared to believe that a dry martini slightly impairs the palate, but think what it does for the soul.” And of course, we can’t forget Frederic Henry in Papa Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms, who claimed, “I had never tasted anything so cool and clean. They made me feel civilized,”

8 | The Brick Magazine

after having a bunch of them while waiting for his lady love at a bar.

Some might even say Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H had the best one (and who am I to argue with them?) when he said: “I’d like a dry martini, Mr. Quoc. A very dry martini.

A very dry, arid, barren, desiccated, veritable dustbowl of a martini. I want a martini that could be declared a disaster area. Mix me just such a martini.”

The reason for all this popularity might be in the drink’s simplicity. It could also be the fact that it’s served in such a classy-looking glass, even in the middle of the Korean War. My take is that it’s a quick way to get hammered, but by booze that doesn’t leave quite as nasty a hangover behind, thanks to the nature of gin (and vodka) versus some of their darker, sweeter, boozier counterparts.

Let’s break it down, shall we? The original, classic martini was made of one part gin and one part vermouth, served extremely cold, and garnished with either a single unstuffed green olive or a lemon peel. These days, the gin sometimes edges out the vermouth, but the rule of thumb is that if you want a dry martini, go with less vermouth. Not so dry?

Keep the ingredients on the vermouth side of equal.

Some purists claim that shaking a martiniPhoto à la James Bond

by Cottonbro

is an abomination and it should always be stirred. Some claim it can’t be served ice-cold enough unless it’s shaken.

A dirty martini (a.k.a. yours truly’s second-favorite variation) calls for a dash of olive brine that turns the normally-clear drink opaque. A Gibson martini is the classic recipe, but with a cocktail onion in place of the olive or lemon.

The vodka martini had a name, but you don’t hear it much these days — mainly because no one knows why it was called “the Kangaroo” at one point. Feel free to call it a vodkatini* if you must, but risk being burned alive by the vicious stare of your craft mixologist. Calling it a “vodka martini” is just fine, thanks.

And finally, my absolute favorite when I’m in a martinisort-of-mood is the Vesper Martini, which is a triple whammy of gin, vodka, and Kina Lillet vermouth with a lemon twist. I mean, why discriminate?

The key to enjoying this drink is the temperature at which it’s served, which should be extra cold. And as for the whole shaken-vs-stirred thing: While it’s sometimes pleasant to watch a bartender put on a show of shaking one for you, bartenders who know what they’re doing will skip the show. By rule of alcohol mixology, drinks that

are 100% alcohol like the martini should always be stirred.

I don’t make these rules, I merely report them so you understand them and spout them at parties in an annoying fashion. It could be argued that to make it cold enough to enjoy, it should be shaken — to which those in the other camp will say, “Put the glass in the freezer.”

Finally, I will leave you with this, my favorite quote about martinis and one you can take to the bank, in terms of veracity: “Martinis are like boobs. One isn’t enough. Three is too many.” *The terms “appletini,” “mochatini,” and “lemon drop martini” should be stricken from your vocabulary.** **This is me being judgmental. Feel free to ignore this, drink whatever you want and call it whatever you like.

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eightyear stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe

September 2021 | 9

Photo by Emily Rose Imagery

10 | The Brick Magazine

Girls Group

Sue Schooner – Founder and Executive Director Shavanna Thompson – Original Participant Ayona Van Horn-Lee – Original Participant

by Marji Wisniewski

I

t was heartwarming to see our three interviewees on our video call together. As each one logged on, they greeted each other joyfully, with big smiles on their faces. Ayona and Shavanna were two of the original participants in Girls Group, which was founded 18 years ago by Sue Schooner. I could tell that their relationship is special and goes beyond just being former participants in a youth program. They consider themselves family.

And although Ayona and Shavanna were the ones being mentored and supported, Sue’s path in life was enriched beyond measure. Here is her story.

GROWING PERSONAL EQUITY In my mid-forties, I was climbing the corporate ladder in the automotive industry. I had been a financial executive at Chrysler, then Textron Automotive, and was currently corunning an automotive turnaround firm. Having recently moved to Ann Arbor, I was looking for a way to give back to my community and enrich my life outside of work.

I was interested in becoming a mentor to local girls and young women. Through Peace Neighborhood Center and the Women’s Center of Southeast Michigan, I was able to meet girls who lived at Pine Lake Cooperative Housing. I started working with a few social work interns from the University of Michigan as well as my close friends, and we all served as volunteers.

We started out with a small group of middle school girls.

Shavanna and Ayona were among them, whom we now affectionately call “The Originals.” Once I met Shavanna and Ayona and a dozen other girls who touched my soul, there was never really anything else that mattered more to me, and thus Girls Group was born.

Our purpose was clear, and remains our mission today.

Girls Group empowers young women to achieve emotional

and economic self-sufficiency by ensuring they graduate from high school and begin their college or career journeys.

Participants are mentored by experienced staff and interns through year-round comprehensive programming focused on academic readiness, social-emotional life skills, financial education, and community service.

When I started Girls Group 18 years ago, we were so small that I was able to become very close with the original group of participants. As I followed the girls along their journey and witnessed the reality of the obstacles they faced, I developed a stronger social justice mindset, which now guides our work. I also realized that I was drawn to these young women and this work as a way to heal the pain and longing from my own childhood.

FINDING AND EMBRACING MY OWN VULNERABILITY By the time I was 50, I had survived breast cancer three times. Throughout my diagnosis, treatment, surgeries, and other obstacles in life, I had never shed one tear. I grew up in a household where feelings were not okay, getting sick was not okay, and crying was definitely not okay. I had suppressed my emotions and didn’t know any differently.

September 2021 | 11

One day, I experienced an emotional breakthrough. I was helping facilitate a workshop at Girls Group. It was a motherdaughter program on puberty.

Often, the girls and moms will begin the workshop rolling their eyes at each other and feeling uncomfortable. This was especially true on this day, as the topic was making many feel vulnerable.

The main facilitator began to talk to the girls about how their breasts will change through puberty. I found myself secretly rolling my eyes, thinking Well, I don’t have those anymore because of breast cancer. Then we started talking about periods; I had had my ovaries removed since I had the breast cancer gene, so again I rolled my eyes, thinking Well, I don’t have periods anymore either. Then I noticed the girls and moms starting to sit closer to one another as they experienced a growing sense of intimacy between them that wasn’t there at the start of the program. I said to myself, Well, my mom is dead, I won’t have any more of these moments with her. But then the sudden realization of that hit me: Yes, my mom is dead, but I actually never had an intimate moment like this with her.

Photo by Emily Rose Imagery

12 | The Brick Magazine

That’s when 50 years of suppressed feelings poured out of me. I sat on the floor in the corner of the room and started crying for the first time in my life. One of the moms left the circle to sit with me and to hold me. As I continued to cry, each mom in the room took turns sitting with me, holding me as I cried as I had never cried before.

This went on for over two hours, and it changed my life forever.

There was no turning back on

finally feeling, owning, and expressing my emotions. I have learned that although feelings are terrifying, accessing them will open the world for you.

around. On top of operating with endless beautiful spreadsheets, we blend in passion, creativity, emotion, and amazing people to make our mission happen.

Girls Group has a strong academic and career focus, but I think the glue that holds all of our programming together is the consistent messaging to the participants that says “You’re special, you’re beautiful, you’re wonderful just the way you are, you are forgiven, you are loved, you can forgive, we’re here for you, and we can overcome this together.” I certainly didn’t feel this way as a child or young woman, and it’s been healing for me to create a community that is based on this premise and belief.

Girls Group has been a successful and vibrant nonprofit for 18 years. Currently, we serve almost 700 girls throughout Washtenaw County. We facilitate 20 weekly programs within the public schools, as well as college and career prep, Women of Purpose, and summer programming. Thus far, we’ve had 240 young women graduate from high school, some of whom are first-generation high school graduates. We’ve also had 46 young women — often firstgeneration college students — graduate from a four-year university, obtain an associate degree, or earn professional certification. Every single girl that graduates high school and/or goes on to college is a role model for the next group of girls.

CHECKS AND BALANCES If Girls Group was a song, it would be a mix of classical music and jazz. The classical music is all of the right things being in the right place, working together, using a proven formula, and staying on track. The jazz portion is the ability to riff off of everything that’s happening and just bring joy.

Coming from a background of accounting, I’m proud to say that we’re probably one of the most organized nonprofits

CREDITS AND DEBITS DURING TIMES OF COVID Girls Group is traditionally a very hands-on agency. Due to the pandemic, Girls Group staff quickly pivoted and provided consistent virtual programming from April 2020

Photo by Emily Rose Imagery

September 2021 | 13

WHAT GIRLS GROUP MEANS TO US

through May 2021. The virtual programming was fun, inspirational, creative, and helped to support the academic and social-emotional needs of the participants. However, we were so excited to return to in-person programming in June!

During the pandemic, we felt grateful to have built stronger relationships with the families of participants.

Although we focused primarily on meeting the needs of the young women we serve, we always honor our relationships with parents. We spent more time this past year being a listening ear to these parents and helping families access much-needed resources such as food, utility payments, and cleaning supplies. Moving forward, our intent continues to be to share timely information with families, provide more family/participant activities, and have adequate staff resources to continue being a listening ear to parents.

Photo by Emily Rose Imagery

Shavanna Thompson, 30 Wayne State University and Washtenaw Community College Currently a phlebotomist and planning on attending beauty school this fall

I joined Girls Group in the sixth grade. I was looking for a supportive group of girls that I could interact with and talk to. I wasn’t in any sports or extracurricular activities. I was a loner, but was longing to find my place. I was excited to hear that Sue had created this group and felt lucky to join.

At first, it was just fun eating pizza (thank you, Cottage Inn), laughing, talking, and hanging out. But what I realized later is that something greater was happening. We were learning and growing into the women we are today.

Girls Group is a sisterhood to me. It allowed me to learn about myself and express myself in ways that I couldn’t before. It opened doors for me — like college — that I didn’t even think were possibilities for me.

I don’t know or want to know where I’d be today without the love and support of Girls Group. It laid the foundation and guided me through life when I felt very lost, and for that I am forever grateful.

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This summer, Girls Group doubled its summer programming to help participants regain the confidence, laughter, and stability needed to return to school in September. We continue to focus on helping students to rebuild their academic muscles. A high percentage of Girls Group participants struggle in school during a “normal” year, and the pandemic has affected this population disproportionately. Many girls spent the last year and a half caring for younger siblings or older family members and helping with the household bills.

After over a year of trauma, chaos, and isolation, this fall will be a time of readiness and recovery. Girls Group has the training, desire, and skillsets to do this essential work. We also recognize that this level of socialemotional work is extremely time-consuming and emotionally draining. Girls Group is ready and passionate about providing this much-needed support, but is also cognizant that incremental staff support will be necessary to support our initiatives.

HUMAN AND FINANICAL CAPITAL We are holding a virtual fundraiser on October 16th, and we welcome all who would like to attend. The 30-minute event will share financial and growth information, but more importantly, we will share stories from our participants about their experiences with Girls Group. This compelling event will encourage guests to think, laugh, cry, and leave feeling uplifted.

We appreciate all of the love and encouragement we’ve received from our supporters and the community over these nearly two decades. We could not do what we do

without this passionate support, as well as the financial contributions that allows us to continue our mission’s work. We have an annual budget of $1.1 million dollars.

We have extremely low overhead. A high percentage of our funding is earmarked to pay our eleven fulltime, well-educated, and dedicated staff members. We also work with a dozen social work interns from the University of Michigan, Eastern Michigan University, and Wayne State University. We thank them for their inspirational service as well.

Although fundraising is paramount, “friend-raising” — learning and sharing our mission — is just as important for our cause. With awareness, I know we can influence a powerful paradigm shift. All young people have potential if we put the same love and attention into every child. This shift not only impacts each child, but also the entire community.

Something Shavanna once said has stuck with me all these years: “When I come to Girls Group, I don’t feel invisible anymore.” And that’s the reality of our society. There are all of these talented, brilliant, and caring young people out there going unnoticed. But when you give them the same emotional and academic toolkits, they can be just as successful as other kids that are more privileged.

RETURN ON INVESTMENT In my 18 years of operating Girls Group, my life has been enriched beyond any measure I ever expected. In creating a loving community, I’ve found the love that I was searching for during my youth and young adulthood.

Girls Group participants have shown me bravery, resilience, humor, acceptance, and love.

And Girls Group as an organization has proven that when you change the destiny of a young woman, you affect generations. I encourage you to find your truth, own your truth, speak your truth, and then help others do the same.

With a passion for marketing that started as a young girl, Marji Wisniewski created her own marketing and communications organization in 2017. As owner of Blue Zebra Marketing Solutions, she helps local and regional businesses and non-profits tell their story through branding, graphic design, content creation, and PR, focusing on customized solutions for each client that are more unique than a zebra’s stripes.

A Michigan native, Marji received her bachelor's from Western Michigan University and master’s from Wayne State University. When not working you can find her gardening, doing Pilates, listening to podcasts, and spending time with her family and two dogs.

Photo by Emily Rose Imagery

Ayona Van Horn-Lee, 29 Michigan State University

Works at Ford Motor Company in IT after attending their rotation program

My twin sister, Asia, and I joined Girls Group right before sixth grade. My parents were hoping it would get us out of our shells and out of the house a bit more. Since I’m a twin, it was always “Asia and Ayona.” Girls Group helped us find and love our individual selves.

When we had fundraisers, Sue would have us write essays for the events. At the time, I wasn’t sure why she was having us do this. Fast forward a few years later, and we were having to write essays for college admissions; I realized she had a plan for us all along. She believed in us long before we even had the idea of college in our heads. My sister and I just thought we’d graduate high school and start work. Having the opportunity to go on college tours and be mentored through the entire college application process was such a gift. Girls Group allowed us to create our own paths and encouraged us to never stop dreaming.

September 2021 | 15

Vitamin D: The Story Behind Our Skin Color and Overall Health

by Alon Kahana, MD, PhD

T

hese are summer days in Michigan, and everyone is out and about, enjoying the sunshine. As a result of Michigan being a double peninsula, our skies are often overcast, even in summer. At our northern latitude, winters are long and sunny days are few. The consequence is that much of the year, we get little to no sun exposure. Unfortunately, this is associated with chronic vitamin D deficiency in much of Michigan’s population. In this month’s column, I’d like to share information about vitamin D and its role in our health.

16 | The Brick Magazine

Vitamin D is a hormone produced by the skin in response to exposure to UV light. It circulates in the bloodstream, and when it enters cells, it binds to and activates the vitamin D receptors, which are transcription factors that bind to DNA and regulate gene expression. Vitamin D is widely recognized to be important for bone health and calcium metabolism. It also plays a less well-known role as a master regulator of the immune system. It’s involved in metabolism, brain health, cancer surveillance, and many other biological roles — all of which are critical for a healthy body.

Vitamin D is so important that over the course of human evolution, it gave rise to the skin color differences around the world that we can see today. Yes, the skin color differences that get all that media attention these days — “black,” “white,” “brown,” — are actually an evolutionary solution to the problem of vitamin D. Homo sapiens originated in central Africa along the equator, where sunshine is strong and plentiful. Melanocytes provided plentiful melanin pigment and produced dark skin in order to protect our bodies from the sun’s damaging UV rays. The sun is so strong in the equatorial regions of Africa that even with dark skin, production of vitamin D was (and is) robust.

But as H. sapiens migrated — first to the Horn of Africa, then across the straits to what is now Yemen, then north and east to what is now the Indian subcontinent, and from the subcontinent out to the rest of the world — humans encountered less and less sunlight. In Europe, once you pass the 45th parallel, and certainly by the 60th parallel (Scandinavia), the sunlight is so weak that vitamin D production plummets. Evolutionary pressure led to an effective solution: mutations in pigment production that make the skin lighter to reduce UV light absorption. The further north that H. sapiens migrated, the more robust the mutations and the lighter the skin. This works well for humans who live in far northern climates — the sun is weak, so there’s less risk of cancer and hence vitamin D production is preserved.

Fast forward to the last few hundred years, in which mass human migrations moved dark-skinned people mostly north to low-sunlight regions and light-skinned people south to high-sunlight regions. The result is that lightskinned people get skin cancer (e.g. basal cell carcinoma, squamous cell carcinoma, and melanoma), and darkskinned people develop vitamin D deficiency.

Which brings us back to our topic. It turns out that African Americans have among the highest rates of inflammatory conditions of any population in the world. That’s not true for Africans, or for people of African descent who live in Brazil, etc. Why is that? Because vitamin D is a master regulator of the immune system, and vitamin D deficiency is a risk factor for auto-immune conditions such as multiple sclerosis, Graves disease, sarcoidosis, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and many others. If you are dark-skinned and live in Michigan, and you work in an office 8am to 5pm most days (our primary sunlight ours), you just can’t get enough sun to produce a sufficient amount of vitamin D. In my clinical work as an oculofacial plastic and orbital surgeon, I take care of patients with inflammatory diseases of the orbit — the tissues around the eye. Every autoimmune disease can have manifestations in the tissues around the eye, and managing this can be quite complex

because these diseases (such as thyroid eye disease) can damage vision as well as deform the face. Research in my laboratory revealed that vitamin D deficiency is an important risk factor for the development of thyroid eye disease, so now I check vitamin D levels regularly. Indeed, patients who present with severe inflammation are much more likely to have vitamin D deficiency.

So how do we treat it? And how do we prevent vitamin D deficiency? The answer is oral supplementation. I am personally prone to vitamin D deficiency — I have Mediterranean skin, tan easily, work indoors, and live in Michigan. So I have my serum vitamin D levels checked once a year, and I take supplements. Vitamin D3 is the form available over the counter, while vitamin D2 is the prescription version. For all practical purposes, they are both equally effective. Most Michigander adults would benefit from around 3000 international units (IU) per day, and the goal is to get the serum 25-hydroxy-vitamin D to between 50-100 ng/mL. Children would also benefit, but dosing should be done by a pediatrician.

And if you are lighter-skinned, please don’t go lay in the sun for vitamin D. You’ll get skin damage, age prematurely, and be prone to skin cancer. Use sunscreen and take a vitamin D supplement. In my work, I also take care of skin cancer around the eye. In fact, my team just published a major clinical trial on the treatment of basal cell carcinoma affecting the eyelids and orbit, so it’s a major part of my practice. I can rebuild eyelids damaged by cancer, but I prefer that you will not need my services.

So get to your primary care physician, request a vitamin D blood test, and go from there. And while you’re minding your own health, go outside and enjoy what’s left of our summer sun.

Dr. Alon Kahana is a professor of oculoplastic surgery at Oakland University’s William Beaumont School of Medicine. He was born in Ramat Gan, Israel, and grew up in Connecticut. He completed his undergraduate studies in biochemistry at Brandeis University and received his MD and PhD in molecular genetics and cell biology from the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine.

In 2007, Dr. Kahana was recruited to the University of Michigan Kellogg Eye Center, where he rose up the ranks to become tenured faculty with an international reputation in orbital surgery.

He has authored over 80 peer-reviewed publications, multiple book chapters and reviews, and has given 100+ lectures throughout the United States and internationally.

Dr. Kahana sees patients in Ann Arbor, Livonia, and Flint, and operates at multiple locations throughout Southeast Michigan.

September 2021 | 17

Organizing Your Home in Style

by Tiffany Birch

Photo by Uliana Kopanytsia

18 | The Brick Magazine

W

hether you’ve just decided to move or are trying to simplify your life, decluttering a home is a momentous task. Having just gone through the process myself, there’s an art to determining what stays and what goes.

Personally, I find it best to start with the larger items in your home, such as the furniture. It’s best to be honest about which items have sentimentality, such as a beautiful dresser passed down from your grandmother, and which have seen better days, like the sofa that has somehow managed to tag along with you since college. It may be time to let go. Sorting these larger items into categories of “Stay,” “Go,” and “Donate” will not only free up space in your head, but in your new environment. There is no reason to move items of little value or practicality (like hanging onto something until you can find a good replacement for it); these can definitely go in the pile for throwing out or donating.

I had a moving sale a week prior to the big moving day; it was very worthwhile in that I was not only able to unload several large furnishings, but I also recouped the cost of moving, which isn’t cheap. Whatever was left over after the sale was donated to the Salvation Army.

This same sorting and selling process can then be utilized room by room and keep you focused on what really matters. Ultimately, your confidence will build as you move throughout your home, tackling one space at a time.

Once the process of sorting is complete, the fun part begins! Setting up your new place with style and a strategic plan is next on the list. I recommend finding inspiration on design websites such as Houzz or Pinterest to guide your vision for your new surroundings. Is it time for a new sofa? Would you like a calming neutral color for the walls, or do you want to take a chance on a daring magenta sectional in your living room? The options are limitless, and if making these decisions overwhelms you, then it’s smart to enlist the help of a friend with a savvy eye, or even a design professional.

Getting to the nitty-gritty items like clothing and kitchen gadgets can be daunting, but again, using the same strategy of “Stay,” “Go,” or “Donate” is a must. Again, honesty is key here, and there’s no need to hang on

Photo by Edgar Castrejon

to clothing that doesn’t fit or could be donated for the benefit of others. If you have a predilection for black dress pants, but couldn’t possibly wear them all in a two-week span, then it’s definitely time to let go of some and donate.

Decluttering one’s closet is very rewarding and offers instant gratification. I recommend sorting by category (blazers, pants, etc) and then by color. Having all of your black dress pants in one place will save you time when getting dressed and is pleasing to the eye. The same can be said in regards to having an organized kitchen pantry. Keep what you need front and center, and have a container for gadgets that are rarely used or are completely unnecessary. Utilizing baskets and bins can not only help you keep organized, but can give you the design aesthetic you may be craving. Why not have a little fun and bring in a bit of color in an ordinarily practical space?

By the end of this process, I guarantee that you will feel lighter and ready to tackle whatever comes at you next with style and grace. Trust yourself, and take it one task at a time.

Tiffany Birch has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects. She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She enjoys residing in the city and the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Instagram: @birchdesignassociates

September 2021 | 19

How the Muses Are Healing Me

by Julie Mariouw

Photo by Brianna Martinez

20 | The Brick Magazine

I

can hardly remember what it was like before they came. I just know that one day, they showed up during a workshop I was teaching.

It wasn’t a thunderous arrival. They were very quiet. They tiptoed in without me noticing. The change in atmosphere came first. I think my workshop members noticed it: the slightly different turn of my head, the adjustment of a knee. I wish I had filmed the workshop so I could have seen it. As it is, I didn’t notice the muses until after the workshop ended.

Later, I was writing with a friend. We met at a coffee house with our notebooks and pens in hand. I felt it the minute my words hit the page. Somehow my writing had become three-dimensional, when before it had been only two-dimensional. My friend noticed it too, I’m sure; after I read my work out loud, we both sat in stunned silence.

It was the feeling that something had landed in the world, something that hadn’t been there before — as if a door had opened and a new being had walked through. You could almost feel the breeze as the door opened and shut.

I felt exhilaration and freedom and a sense of moving forward. And right after that, I was terrified that the purveyors of new elation might go away. Yes, purveyors, because I think there was more than one muse. In fact, I know there was; they were on a mission from the universe, with something very specific in mind.

I knew I had no control over them, that they had been given to me. I also knew that it was my duty to write with them every day, or they would very shortly leave.

They began to show up more frequently. They learned to trust me. They needed me to be present or they could not make their magic. And most of all, they needed me to write down what they said. This I have done for the last two years, and we have gotten close. Every day, when I sit down to write, I swear I feel them nodding behind me.

You could say these muses are dimensions of my personality, but I’m convinced they’re much more than that. I have a sense that they were present in my

Photo by Joshua Woroniecki

childhood, given to me through magic, and then went away because I was not paying attention. Somehow, through writing daily, I allowed a door to open and they slipped through, sighing with relief at finally being reunited.

But these muses have personalities of their own. They seem to be separate beings who are outside of my sphere — as if they belong to some universal society in which muses of all types wait until they are needed on Earth.

You could say they’re characters. But are they? What is the difference between a muse and a character? It feels to me that they are guiding me, that that is their sole reason for being in this world. And, yes, they do make it onto the page. But they’re more than the characters on the page.

They are the magic behind the characters.

What do the muses look like? Well, that’s hard to say.

Sometimes they seem like angels. At other times, they’re like dark clouds. Still other times they’re absolutely invisible, and the only thing I can feel is a hand pressing on my shoulder, or the warmth of their breath on my neck.

I’m pretty sure they’re going to leave me when they’re done. I hate to think about that, but it seems inevitable.

Their sole purpose is to heal me, and they have accomplished about half of what they came to do. I can’t imagine what I’ll be like without them.

But, for all I know, the universe will assign new muses after the old ones leave. I like to think that will be the case.

But even if I don’t get any more, I’ve learned so much. I have learned that I live in a magical universe, and not to think I know everything, because I can never be sure who will show up next.

Julie Mariouw is a published author, trained Amherst Writers & Artists workshop leader, English teacher, and owner of Wellspring Writing Workshops LLC, through which she offers creative writing workshops in the Ann Arbor area. Julie helps people bypass their internal critics, go directly to feelings and memories, and tap into the healing power of writing. www.wellspringwritingworkshops.com www.facebook.com/wellspringwritingworkshops

September 2021 | 21

The Monkey Bar Magic of Letting Go Seek and release all that is in the way. ~Rumi

by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC

L

Sadly, it seems, we often focus so much on things in our life not being better that we can’t let go and simply allow ourselves to remain stuck. Now breathe. Feel into that for a sweet, contemplative moment. It’s true, isn’t it? We sometimes care way too much about our disappointments, May this be your starting point of inquiry. Coach with and hyper-focus energy there. We do this rather than me, and I’ll probably ask you this question, in some form concentrate on what we desire to generate in our lives. or another, early on. This is because I believe we must Disappointment locks you into the past. The ticket to growth release to evolve! To reveal even more of your unique and evolution includes the invitation to let go of, release, or essence, one must break free of unhelpful bypatterns, Mariapeople, Sylvester, MSW, CPC get over that which has brought disappointment. Doing so routines, thoughts, or feelings, and step into the full truth jump-starts a momentum in the direction of what you desire. of who you are. et’s jump right in with the big question: What’s in your way, dear friend, on your path to even greater evolution?

22 | The Brick Magazine

Forms of Letting Go So, what are you called to release? Do you seek to let go of elements of your past? Of a toxic relationship? Of control? Of anger? Of resistance? Of a painful experience?

Of someone you love? Of a prized possession? Of an uncomfortable thought? The opportunities are endless, the growth potential enormous.

Letting go, I’ve discovered, is the first essential step to transforming any chosen aspect of yourself or your life.

Knowing what you don’t want puts you all the closer to what you long for. One of my favorite teachings that highlights this idea can be found in the work of C.S. Lewis, and especially resonates in this quote often attributed to him: “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” Powerful, yes? Reaching up and grabbing those monkey bars, whenever I see them in a park, has become something I now can never resist!

Monkey Bar Magic When your grip is tightly closed around some aspect of your life, you are exhibiting the energy of control, or even perhaps distrust. When you cling to someone or

some circumstance, for instance, you create a breeding ground for rigidity, anxiety, or personal paralysis. One can’t successfully cross monkey bars unless you first surrender to the release and then swing forward, flowing bar to bar.

It’s a one-moment-at-a-time kind of prize — the joy of immersing oneself in the present instant.

Nature is my greatest teacher when it comes to the art of leaning back and letting go. There’s no need to mess with nature — no need for control. The process of growth, the changing of seasons, it all simply unfolds.

Left to its own accord, a flower blooms into its fullest, most satisfying form. Water it too much, and nature is interrupted by the intervening. The lesson: less action, more surrender. Letting go creates space for the universe to unfold — the universe within as well as the universe outside of yourself.

Release that monkey bar grip and you are drawn forward as well. Follow your strengths instead of focusing on your weaknesses. Head downstream instead of trying to paddle upstream. Embrace change; it’s a natural condition of existence. Let what is seeding within you grow into new form. Accept that which is your inherent nature. Then release all that is in excess. As one Chinese proverb goes: “A bird can roost but on one branch.”

September 2021 | 23

The more you can deeply feel your emotions — while at the same time remembering you are not them — the more confident, calm, clear, courageous, and connected you will feel. These are the states of whole-hearted living. We can experience whole-hearted living when we allow ourselves to embrace all of ourselves, including both our uplifting feelings and our more challenging ones.

As for letting go of painful or disturbing thoughts — cognitive baggage that can’t help but bring you down — one process I love is that created by author Byron Katie.

She suggests asking yourself four simple questions when haunted by disturbing thoughts: Is it true? Is it really true?

How would you feel if it wasn’t true? And lastly, what’s a thought that is the reverse of the original one?

Photo by Brett Jordan

The Process I’ve discovered, both as part of my own process and that which I offer clients, the intoxicating joy that comes with letting go of what holds one back. The nectar is so, so sweet there. Tend tenderly to your garden. Weed out the unnecessary — all thoughts, feelings, and ways of being that constrict or suffocate you. This is what a devoted master gardener of personal growth and self-expansion is all about.

Here’s an example of how I work with myself to release an emotion that may be causing me some suffering. First, I let myself become fully aware of the challenging feeling.

I label the feeling — “I’m feeling angry,” for instance. I try to remember to not say “I am angry,” because I am not anger. I’m simply feeling that emotion.

Next, I allow myself to notice where the feeling is being held in my body. Doing this helps me stay with it. Noticing where an emotion lands in your body also helps you recognize it sooner the next time. This is because our bodies often register things before we are consciously aware of them. So, noting the emotion, I try to relax into it for just a minute or two. I actually welcome it in.

When you can cognitively take control by inviting an emotion in, you avoid possible resistance and the problems it can create. The likelihood of the feeling going underground, or being disguised in defensiveness or avoidant activities, lessens tremendously. When you can welcome and “stay with” a feeling, it typically releases sooner than later. I liken it to a wave: the emotion momentarily rises, then gently recedes once attended to.

Making the darkness conscious, though not always easy, has great rewards.

24 | The Brick Magazine

Engaging in these simple steps is guaranteed to facilitate the opening of fresh perspectives and wider horizons.

Challenging your own thought process offers massive self-empowerment. Doing so can greatly lessen unnecessary suffering. This is because from new vantage points, you can more easily let go of that which no longer serves you.

There is additional magic here as well. You’ve probably noticed how, when your thoughts shift, so do whatever feelings accompanied those ideas. New revelations open rapidly when you can observe your thoughts as simply energy, as dancing vibrations. One can always learn new dance steps. You can always change your energy.

Turn Away to Turn Toward It Letting go keeps us ever-awake to the present.

The present moment is all we ever really have, so be there now. Attend to it. Accept what is. Then deliberately turn your attention to where you’re going, not where you’ve been. Your power to create your very best, most magnificent life rests in a devoted forward focus!

Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world.

She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com Instagram: @life_coach_maria Facebook: www.facebook.com/LifeEmpowermentCoaching

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September 2021 | 25

Letting Go of Wooing and Making Room for Input

By Bonnie Oakes Charron

26 | The Brick Magazine

Note to the reader: The CliftonStrengths assessment measures the presence of a person’s talents in 34 general areas, referred to as "themes." These talents are the ways that individuals naturally think, feel, and behave — in essence, what they’re good at doing. An individual’s unique talent profile helps them direct their purpose towards their greatest performance. Strengths become the means to achieve their goals, whether they be career, personal, or relationship goals. The system was created under the leadership of educational psychologist Donald Clifton. Contact the author to learn more about CliftonStrengths and to learn how to leverage your talent profile to reach the pinnacle of your success.

W

hen I first received my CliftonStrengths profile, I was intrigued but mystified. At the top was… “Input?”

I had expected “Learner” or “Intellection” or “Strategic,” with a vague hope that I might find “Woo,” “Positivity,” or some other useful talent that sounded decidedly unlike my librarian personality. I think all introverts secretly hope that one day a test will reveal that they really do have charisma, an upbeat personality, or some other useful talent to navigate the cocktail circuit, work events, and general chit-chat of life. But no such luck.

My disappointment soon gave way to intrigue, however — a trait I would later learn is quite common among the Input crowd. We are unrelentingly curious. We collect. We store. We organize. What we collect, store, or organize is unique to the individual — it could be hobby items like coins or stamps, it might be information like articles, newspapers, or books. In my case, it’s ideas.

I collect ideas. You never know when one might come in handy. The problem with ideas is that they have to be stored somewhere — which leads to an ever-expanding personal library that threatens to overtake the space I have available. Short of buying a bigger house — an option I haven’t exactly ruled out — I embark every few months on a triage mission. I sort, I file, I shred, disposing of whatever I can bear to part with.

After much study, and the help of a personal coach, I’ve learned a lot about Input. I’ve come to see it as the strength that it is — a strength that feeds other strengths.

My talents of Intellection, Ideation, and Deliberative would all be lessened if not nourished by my Input. I’ve come to see that Input isn’t a sub-par talent after all. It might be quiet, it might be still. But its power is the ability to see potential where others pass it by. Raw input is a resource.

It’s the raw material that fertilizes the other talents and helps them grow.

I’m sure that Woo and Positivity have their place, but I

no longer wish for a different or more “exciting” talent profile. I’ve learned to let it go. Every talent is unique and performs a special role in helping the individual navigate the world around them. With the help of my coach, and through his monthly discussions, I’ve come to realize that every talent represents a tool, a tool that helps its owner make sense of the world around them and engage with it from a place of personal power. Using our top talent helps us achieve our very best.

People use certain talents over others because it works for them. We’re all trying to advance our goals and interests.

Someone with Woo uses charisma to break down barriers and engage with others. Maybe they have little need for Input. Meanwhile, I use ideas. As an avid reader and researcher, I never understood how some colleagues can arrive at a meeting without even peeking at the materials and still play an active and helpful role in the meeting.

Without my Input, I would be lost and likely lack the confidence to participate at all.

This was the moment I realized that none of our talent profiles are better than any other. They simply explain and affect how each of us finds our way in the world.

This recognition helped me finally value Input, and now I wouldn’t trade it for the world — not even for Woo. 2020 was a tough year, and 2021 is shaping up to be just as challenging. Cooperation is key, and so is tolerance. The most effective way I’ve found to truly appreciate others in this interdependent world is through CliftonStrengths. I plan to follow my innate talent of Input, wherever it might lead me.

Bonnie Oakes Charron is an adjudicator, nonprofit board director, and entrepreneur.

Through Pinnacle Resources & Consulting she helps her clients build a business that reflects their personal identity, talents, and values. She holds a Master of Library and Information Science degree and currently lives in Ottawa, Canada. With family roots in Detroit, she travels to Michigan as often as possible. www.facebook.com/PinnacleRandCServices

September 2021 | 27

The Story of Carolyn Quarlls and Rev. Guy Beckley

by Deborah Meadows Riverfront statue Detroit River, downtown

28 | The Brick Magazine

Carolyn Quarlls

I

n 1826, a young girl was born into slavery. Her name was Carolyn Quarlls, and she lived in St. Louis, Missouri. It’s been said that Carolyn was the daughter of her owner and was gifted to the owner’s sister, Carolyn’s aunt. Perhaps she was a wedding gift — a perfectly acceptable and frequent practice within families whose wealth was gained on the value of people such as Carolyn.

The only way Carolyn could be free was if she was granted freedom by her owner, but Carolyn had little control in that regard. Self-emancipation was viewed by several thousand enslaved people as the only means of taking control of their lives through wit, courage, and determination. The journey of self-emancipation is better known as the Underground Railroad — the system of routes by which the formerly enslaved traveled to Canada, where freedom was legally guaranteed. Carolyn would one day include herself among those who made this difficult decision.

Elsewhere in 1836, during the dry cold month of November, a convention was held in Ann Arbor. This gathering of men convened to form the Michigan State Anti-Slavery Society. Reverend Guy Beckley and Theodore Foster served on the executive committee and published an anti-slavery paper, The Signal of Liberty, from 1841 to 1847. Within the paper, amongst ads from local merchants, were reports of self-emancipators briefly visiting our

Rev. Guy Beckley House, 1425 Pontiac Trail, photo 1930s

village before continuing their travels to Canada. Rev. Beckley had a reputation for denouncing local citizens tolerant of slavery and agitated loudly for its abolishment.

Beckley and Foster would have undoubtedly known that editors of anti-slavery papers were often victims of violence. In fact, Elijah Lovejoy lost his life attempting to save his press for a third time by an angry mob in Alton, Illinois — which was also a Free state.

Carolyn knew the river town of Alton, Illinois well. It was a short ten-mile boat ride across the Mississippi from her home in St. Louis. Carolyn might have gazed across that river, keenly aware that freedom was very close.

On July 4, 1842, while Beckley and Foster were in their second year of publishing, and the country celebrated over 60 years of independence, Carolyn began her northward journey at the age of sixteen. It started with a demoralizing incident. Carolyn was observed looking at her reflection in a mirror by her mistress. Upset by this, the mistress physically attacked Carolyn and cut off her hair.

Carolyn was maturing into a young lady; the actions of her mistress sent a clear message. As long as Carolyn was under that roof, she must never cross the line or forget her “place.” Carolyn was in no mood to tolerate additional assaults. She devised a plan and asked her mistress permission to see a “sick friend” in town. Permission granted, Carolyn bundled her few belongings, threw

September 2021 | 29

descendants still reside.

Rev. Beckley would die of sudden illness, and The Signal of Liberty would fold in 1847. The clerk who sold the boat ticket to Carolyn in St. Louis was sued under the Fugitive Slave Law and ordered to pay a hefty fine for unknowingly assisting a fugitive.

Although Carolyn probably spent no more than a few hours in our city, her story resonates as just one narrative in the long struggle for freedom. No matter who you are or where you’re from, freedom is an ideal we all cherish.

Photo by Nicole Glass Photography The next time you’re cruising about, drive past 1425 Pontiac Trail, the home of Rev. Guy Beckley. Imagine them out a window, and retrieved them upon leaving the the outspoken editor scribbling notes about this journey house headed for the river. She wisely used what her as described by his courageous young visitor, Miss Carolyn father gave her, a fair complexion, to purchase a ticket for Quarlls. Pause and reflect. Recognize that Black history is the steamboat from St. Louis to Alton without arousing American history, and American history is our story. suspicion.

Over the next several weeks Carolyn would come into contact with several people, black and white; some had her best interest at heart, others did not. Upon arriving in Wisconsin, she was taken into the fold of a loose network of folks willing to assist, but who had minimal knowledge of the Underground Railroad. One within their group, Lyman Goodnow, agreed to transport Carolyn to safety. They never seemed far ahead of a posse intent on capturing Carolyn for reward. Along the journey Carolyn traveled by foot, laid concealed under hay in a horsedrawn wagon, and endured heavy rain at night and dusty trails by day. She spent a few nights inside homes, and at times wore a disguise.

As Lyman would write in his remembrances in the 1880s, “at Ann Arbor we were entertained by the editor of the Abolitionist paper of that place,” confirming Rev. Guy Beckley’s involvement in Carolyn’s journey. The next stop from Ann Arbor was Detroit, the last stop on the Underground Railroad and just another boat ride across the Detroit River to freedom in Canada.

Carolyn would marry and set down roots in the small village of Sandwich, Ontario, where some of her

30 | The Brick Magazine

The Journey to Freedom Underground Railroad tours offered by the African-American Cultural & Historical Museum of Washtenaw includes the Rev. Guy Beckley House, thanks to the Van Renterghem and Steinberg families. We invite you to reserve a seat on our September 19th tour, or schedule a private tour.

Research for this article, and a photo of Caroline Quarlls, is available at the Wisconsin Historical Society and in the book The Underground Railroad in Michigan by local author Carol E. Mull.

Deborah Meadows has been a member of the AACHM Board of Trustees since 2003 and volunteers as a docent for their Journey to Freedom Underground Railroad tours.

Founded in 1993, our mission is to preserve, collect, and exhibit cultural and historical materials related to the life and work of African Americans in Washtenaw County. Deborah Meadows serves on the Board of Trustees with chairwoman Debby Mitchell Covington.

S P IN N ING T H READS I NTO

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