The Brick Magazine - December 2021

BRICK

THE

DECEMBER 2021

MAGAZINE

THE GIFT OF LISTENING GRAIN TO GLASS

PLUS! THE "RETURN" OF THE DINING ROOM

Sarah

Whitsett

MAKING SPACE FOR JOY

ANN ARBOR

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Holiday Smiles from Sarah Whitsett, publisher of The Brick Magazine Sarah is wearing designer Gurhan photo: G.E.Anderson

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THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

DECEMBER 2021

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

Managing Editor • Tanja MacKenzie

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

Photo by Kimmi Batchelor

Cover Photographer • Bob Foran

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Contributors >>

Crystal Abitz Tiffany Birch

Michael Fox April James Dr. Alon Kahana

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Maria Sylvester Marji Wisniewski

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CONTENTS 6

The Gift of Listening

10

Making Space for Joy with Sarah Whitsett

16

Listening with the Heart

18

Listen to Your Daydreams

22

The "Return" of the Dining Room

24

Grain to Glass

28

Cosmetic Surgery Around the Eyes: What Should You Know?

The Brick Magazine >>

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The Gift of Listening

by Crystal Abitz, MA, LMT, CSCS

So much noise. Outside. Inside. All around.

I try to listen. I try to focus. Nothing. There is an overwhelming amount of noise, but nothing worth processing. I hear noise. I’m lost in our conversation; I don’t hear you. I can’t even hear myself.

I forgot why I was listening, what I was trying to hear. The lights, noises, chaos, and clutter. I’m somewhat paralyzed and spinning in a vortex. The buzz is all around me, but I can’t seem to connect to anyone or anything. I’m here, but I can’t hear you. I exist. You exist. But the noise drowns out my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Now I hear nothing. I feel nothing.

T

become fully immersed and consumed by these conditions.

My identity shifted and my personality had vanished. I lost my spunk and my zest for life.

Postpartum depression and anxiety defined me. Instead of claiming to suffer from depression and anxiety, I had

Our daughter was two and our son was an infant. Our little family was struggling. My husband was burned out from his job, we had no family nearby, and our little ones deserved more energy than what I could find within myself. They needed a mom who wanted to live and who shared their enthusiasm for life. My husband needed me, our children needed me, and I needed me. The time had

hat’s where it started. The time had come to face the depression and anxiety that I let consume me for the past few years. In this moment, I realized I simultaneously had everything and nothing. I realized it was time to reconnect with my natural self, the self I was born to be. I realized it was time to find awareness in my breath and in my body. It was time to be present, to be me. If not for myself, then for my husband and our children.

6 | The Brick Magazine

finally come for me to reclaim my identity, my life. Even while mentally and emotionally lost in the vortex, unable to hear my husband and children, I could feel them. My family was yearning for me — the me I used to be. It was time to unearth myself. It was time to emerge from the darkness and live my life on purpose. This is my gift to them.

Birds drop their feathers. That is their legacy — it’s what they leave behind. Who we are and who we become is what we will leave behind. Focus on the present moment and allow yourself to flourish within. The feather represents our legacy — it’s what we leave behind when we move on from a conversation, a space, a community, and eventually when we move on from Earth. What will you leave behind? How will people feel after you leave a conversation with them? What is your legacy?

I was numb. I couldn’t do life. But one day, something happened. One of my babies held eye contact with me in such a powerful way that my trance broke. I broke. My breasts leaked through my shirt and I ugly-cried until I started shaking. I felt something. It was so surreal. One of the most powerful, transformative moments of my existence came to me through eye contact with my tiny human. A human who depended on me for survival. And in that moment, I decided it was my time to reinvest in myself and my quality of life. I was ready to give more of myself to my children and my husband. I slowly began

investing in my self-care. Through a variety of massage, mindfulness, and movement therapies, I rediscovered myself and reconnected with my essential nature.

And then one day, a few months later, I giggled with my kiddos while we watched a silly squirrel. Our interactions with each other and that squirrel helped me realize my purpose is in my family. I am happy. I am resilient. I still experience, but now I have coping strategies to help me redirect my attention to the beauty around me. I made intentional changes for myself, for my husband, and for our children. Our family is thriving. We are playful, freespirited, and connected with nature. When stressors come our way, we look to each other for support, for strength.

We smile, we hug, and we dance. We sing silly songs and move our bodies in ways that give us strength, courage, and confidence to live out our purpose.

As humans, we listen and experience life with more than our ears. Being present, listening, and feeling is an art and a practice. Being present in our life allows us to hear. We listen. We feel. We experience.

Take a moment. Listen with your body. Turn off your brain.

Toss aside the wish-lists and task lists. Just listen. What is your body telling you? What is your partner or your children telling you — not with their words, but with their eyes and their bodies? Do they feel nurtured and loved?

Do they feel as important as your lists?

This gift-giving season, and always, gift yourself with the art of listening. And then listen — to your mind, your body, and your loved ones. Our children don’t need tangible gifts this season — they need moms and dads who are present with them.

Allow yourself to flourish within, and then gift yourself and others with the whole you.

Crystal is a devoted wife and mommy to a couple of fun, nature-loving kiddos. She has a master’s degree in kinesiology and sport and exercise psychology and a bachelor’s in elementary education, as well as a massage therapy license and strength and conditioning certification through the NSCA. She veered away from the strenuous competitive sport scene and now focuses her attention on experiences, interactions, and more natural movements that bring alignment and joy to her body and her life. Crystal’s main services include massage therapy, mindfulness training, and movement.

Instagram: @legacywellnessmi Instagram: @abitz_crystal Facebook: @legacywellnessmi www.legacywellnessmi.com

Photo by Olenka Sergienko December 2021 | 7

Photo by Bob Foran

8 | The Brick Magazine

Making Space for Joy with Sarah Whitsett

by Marji Wisniewski

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always enjoy sitting down with Sarah Whitsett, our fierce and inspiring publisher of The Brick Magazine. I know that she’ll always surprise me with something that she’s up to now. Working with someone like Sarah who empowers and entrusts her team is so refreshing. I enjoy our yearly December interviews and encourage everyone to take a few moments today and reflect on their 2021 year. Did you give space to what brings you joy?

2020, 2021…2022!

Here we are at the end of 2021 already. I feel like it was just December 2020, and I blinked to find that another year has passed. Although we weren’t as locked up in our homes as we were last year, we still had the reality that this pandemic is with us for much longer than we’d hoped.

Like many of you, I forged ahead as best as I could and tried to cautiously live my life to its fullest.

As publisher of The Brick Magazine, the team and I committed to a theme of Spaciousness for this year. We defined this as “letting our work breathe, taking up space that we want to take up, building and working from a place of enjoyment.” Not only did I find myself devoted to this philosophy at the magazine, but I also carried it over to my nursing job and personal life.

I turned 45 this year, and I realized that I really needed to be clear and honest with myself about what feels good and gives me energy. I made an effort to focus on what sparked joy in my life. Maybe I was inspired by Marie Kondo and her unique philosophy for tidying. By focusing on what brings me joy, I’ve been able to find a much healthier, happier version of me. In a time where there has

been much worry and fear around our physical and mental health, this has given me peace.

Last December, I shared that I had gone back to nursing in the Intensive Care Unit at St. Joseph Mercy Hospital. It felt like coming home. I’d been gone for nearly 15 years, but so much of it felt familiar, and that was comforting. I was drawn to the cause of helping care for the very sick patients who had contracted COVID-19. I knew that I could be useful during those early days of the pandemic when nurses were so short-staffed. Unfortunately, we are still very short-staffed.

It was heartbreaking to care for so many who would eventually die in our ICU. At times I felt sad, helpless, and hopeless. However, so much light and encouragement came when the vaccine started to roll out at the beginning of this year. It was a feeling of relief and elation that I won’t forget. I celebrated getting my first dose right before Christmas; it was the best gift I've ever received.

Unfortunately, I’m seeing the number of patients in our hospital with COVID going up again. The majority of the December 2021 | 9

Photo by Bob Foran

people that we’re seeing in the ICU now are not vaccinated.

It’s hard to watch people suffering from COVID who chose not to receive the vaccine. I’ve witnessed firsthand not just one, but a number of patients beg me for a vaccine right before they get intubated. It’s heartbreaking to have to tell them that they can’t get the vaccine now, that it’s too late.

It makes me sad because they had a chance to make a different choice, and they didn’t.

I never had intentions of leaving the ICU, especially with a nursing shortage and the fact that I love all of my coworkers. However, I was recently offered a different role at the hospital. It was a fantastic opportunity, one that you just don’t say no to.

The transition was so fast. Only two to three weeks passed from hearing about the job to moving to my new department. I’m now a Research Coordinator at Michigan Heart and Vascular. My main responsibility is to enroll and track patients in our cardiovascular studies. It feels like a really good fit for me so far; it was hard leaving the ICU, but having weekends and holidays free has been a welcome perk.

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MODERN MOTHERHOOD As some of you may know, I have three boys: a freshman in high school and twin seventh-graders. My freshman son is going for his learners permit this week. That’s terrifying!

I think we’ll be practicing in parking lots for a long time.

All three boys are back in school full-time this year.

Usually at the start of the school year, they’re griping that they don’t want to go back. But this year, they were super excited to go to school and see their friends. They’re all just really happy to be in-person this year. They really missed all of their sports and extracurricular activities, too.

Watching the boys grow, change, and live through this turbulent era has taught me so much. They are really paying attention to the world around them, even when I think they’re not. I might say something that I’ve always said, and they will say, “Mom, you can’t say that anymore.”

Last week at my family’s farm, I noticed that one of the horses, Snickers (ironically named), had gotten into the corn and ate way too much. I started teasing him by

saying, “Snickers, you’re all chubby from that corn and you didn’t share any with the other horses.” My son corrected me: “Mom, don’t fat-shame the horse.” I had to apologize and say that I shouldn’t have said that to Snickers, horse or not.

My other son watched his first episode of Seinfeld and gave his review: “It’s a really funny show, Mom, but it’s also really sexist.” And I said, “I guess you’re right.

It is.” When the show came out it seemed funny, but now looking back, I see that many of the jokes didn’t age well.

Things in society and culture have changed so much since I was their age, and I’m thankful to them for making me aware of what I’m saying or watching and allowing me to continue to learn and work to be a better person each day.

In turn, I focus on teaching them kindness. My one rule with them is “Just don’t be an asshole.” I’m just trying to raise my boys not to be jerks. They’re growing and changing so fast, and if I can allow them to feel all the great things that come with being a young man but also teach them not to be jerks, then I’ve done my job.

The job of being a mom is never an easy one. Sometimes, people label me as a single mom. But that’s not quite true; the boys have a dad who is very involved in their day-today lives. I’m not doing it all by myself — I would rather say that I’m co-parenting with their dad. I think that’s an important distinction to make, because for the women who are actually single moms, who do it all on their own — that’s an entirely different kind of strength. Single moms bear the sole responsibility, and there’s no one else to fall back on. Co-parenting is hard, but being a single mom is much harder.

I’ve been co-parenting for about seven years, and we’ve got it down pretty well. Our challenge these days is when the boys “play” us a bit. One son might say, “But Dad said I could go.” We have to check in with each other more frequently just to keep them on the straight and narrow. I think this is a product of the kids’ lives getting busier with their age, and of things generally getting busier as we work through the later phases of this pandemic.

Even the dog goes back and forth with the kids to their dad’s house. If our dog, Jack, doesn’t end up making it over to their dad’s, they will call for me to bring him. Actually,

December 2021 | 11

What Is The Brick Magazine?

We call our magazine The Brick because every woman we feature is doing her part to make our community a better place. They focus on building each other up. Each of us is a brick in our community, and it’s the work we do individually that make us who we are as a whole. Together, we build something stronger.

Photo by Bob Foran

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January 2021 – Nancy Young – Skincare Professional and Founder of dbts Skin Bar February 2021 – Chief Justice Bridget M. McCormack March 2021 – Molly McFarland – Co-Founder of AdAdapted April 2021 – Shirley Wickman – Mother of transplant son and Founder of Heart for Life May 2021 – Governor Gretchen Whitmer June 2021 – Chef Allison Anastasio – Personal Chef and Founder of Last Bite Chef July 2021 – Laura Jackson – Ms. Wheelchair Michigan August 2021 – Dr. Rita Maizy – Dentist at Maize and Blue Dentistry September 2021 – Sue Schooner – Founder and Executive Director of Girls Group October 2021 – Jill Damon – Owner of 16 Hands November 2021 – Tiffany Edison – Interior Designer and Founder of Birch Design Associates

December 2021 | 13

understanding of “25 miles or less,” but we’re making the best of a longer drive between our houses.

MAKING ROOM FOR MORE JOY

while I’m working on this article, I’m getting loads of texts from the boys to hurry up and bring the dog tonight instead of waiting until morning!

DIGITAL DATING Before lockdown, I had been dating someone for several years. It was a relationship that I didn’t think was ever going to get serious, but I welcomed the company, especially when the boys were young. We ended things in February of 2020, not knowing that the country would be in lockdown shortly after.

I used that time to focus on my family and my re-entry into nursing. That fall, I dipped my toe into online dating.

This was a strange and new experience for me. I didn’t love it. After three first dates, I started dating one of the men. But between our work schedules, children, and the pandemic, we could only meet every few weeks or so. When spring came, the relationship just faded away. Although short-lived, I am grateful for him; it was refreshing to have adult conversation during that time.

This past summer I decided I’d give online dating another try. I went on three first dates again; just like before, third time’s the charm. I’m still seeing the third man I went out with, and it’s been fantastic. Facebook Dating has a loose

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In taking stock of life this year, I realized that I was spreading myself too thin. I realized that after ten years of running a marketing and leadership consulting business, it was no longer bringing me joy. I’m thankful that I was financially in a position to close up that part of my life. It organically faded away as I completed projects and didn’t renew accounts. I said goodbye to that part of my career with a grateful heart, as it had allowed me to be home with the kids when they were younger. It also introduced me to a lot of really cool people along the way.

Speaking of really cool people, I’m so proud of all of the amazing women we have featured on the cover of The Brick Magazine in 2021. I refuse to choose a favorite.

However, I will say that I love what a diverse group of talented and inspiring women we featured! I also think the photography was a highlight this year. I loved seeing all of the different photographers and their styles paired with the stories. It didn’t hurt that all of our cover women were just gorgeous, inside and out.

My favorite part about my job as publisher is seeing our team get excited about an upcoming cover story or idea.

They start to buzz at a fever pitch, and there’s just such a great vibe flowing. I love that!

For 2022, the team and I have decided on a theme of Resilience. Resilience, to us, means the ability to cope with life’s adversities, to withstand and adapt to hardships and trauma and emerge on a path that leads you to be stronger and wiser. We hope you enjoy the stories as they

relate to this theme and welcome new photographers and writers who have something they’d like to share with us. I’d love to have more writers, photographers, and advertisers involved in the magazine to share with our community.

The magazine itself has exhibited resilience over the four years since its inception. When we first started, we were just trying to get out all of the kinks. I’m proud that we continue to learn and get better and stronger with each year. This past year, we really focused on building and growing our social media presence. Going forward, our focus remains the same: telling women’s stories in our community. We are fortunate to have an abundance of interesting, amazing women willing to share their lives with us.

NEW YEAR, NEW FOCUS I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, but I do set intentions. To me, intentions are things that I want to work towards. I didn’t sit down on January 1st and make a list of things that bring me joy versus things I wanted to let go of; I just held onto a thought or intention as I moved through the year and hoped that it worked its

way to the front of my mind when I needed it. Taking stock of my year for this article has made me realize that they did.

So, what do I plan or intend for 2022? I’m just going to enjoy my free time now that I finally have a little. With the freedom my new job has afforded me, I’m looking forward to spending more holidays and weekends with loved ones.

I plan to focus on my boys (I only have a few years until I’m an empty nester) and of course the dog. I don’t have any hobbies that I’m planning to work on, but I have time to figure that out now. And that sparks joy.

With a passion for marketing that started as a young girl, Marji Wisniewski created her own marketing and communications organization in 2017. As owner of Blue Zebra Marketing Solutions, she helps local and regional businesses and non-profits tell their story through branding, graphic design, content creation, and PR, focusing on customized solutions for each client that are more unique than a zebra’s stripes.

A Michigan native, Marji received her bachelor's from Western Michigan University and master’s from Wayne State University. When not working you can find her gardening, doing Pilates, listening to podcasts, and spending time with her family and two dogs.

18 years ago, nine middle school girls gathered weekly to ponder the mysteries of life and growing up. Little did they know that their intrepid journey would ultimately uplift and influence their lives, and the lives of countless more. Now, Girls Group’s original nine participants turn 30!

Visit GirlsGroup.org to learn more about the everyday operations of Girls Group, who is dedicated to helping even more young women feel empowered to write their greatest stories.

Make a donation before the end of the year to make a difference for the 690 young women we serve through long-term relationships in the Ann Arbor-Ypsilanti area!

ACADEMIC + READINESS

SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL + READINESS

FINANCIAL + READINESS

COMMUNITY = SERVICE

Girls Group empowers young women to achieve emotional and economic self-sufficiency by ensuring they graduate from high school and begin their college or career journeys. Girls Group is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

GREATEST STORIES

Connect @GirlsGroupA2

December 2021 | 15

Listening with the Heart

by April James

Photo by Saeed Khosravi

16 | The Brick Magazine

Q

uite often, Spirit works in roundabout ways to set us upon our path.

How I got into 18th-century music is one such example. I had grown up singing Mozart, Handel, Bach, etc. in our church choir, but by my teens and twenties, I was definitely into the Beatles, rock, and pop music.

For some reason, I was also into the Porsche 928S, and prized my Matchbox car version of one that was painted a beautiful turquoise blue. One day while watching TV, I caught an ad for this car; after a short period of time, I found myself watching TV hoping to see the ad. But it wasn’t the image of the car that was blowing me away — it was the background music. It had some very exciting violin music playing while the car was being put through its paces. I kept looking for the commercial in order to hear the music.

Not long after, I was flipping through the radio dial in my car, and I hit one unfamiliar station that was playing that same violin music! I listened to the end, because I simply had to know what it was. It turned out to be the “Summer” concerto from “The Four Seasons” by Antonio Vivaldi. Well, I had to know more!

Since this was before the internet and CDs, I took myself to Tower Records and went searching for this piece. It was my first visit to their classical section. I found an LP with Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons,” brought it home, and played it over and over. I went back and started purchasing recordings of music by other 18thcentury composers — Mozart, Handel, Bach, etc. Then I went to the library and began researching these composers, and pretty soon I left rock and and most pop music behind. Eventually I would earn my PhD in music with one of my special areas being 18thcentury music and dance.

I still love “Summer” (and any piece by Vivaldi, really).

Over the years, I’ve wondered what it is about music from that century that attracts me. Sure, it could be a past life connection, but I feel it’s something more fundamental. I feel it’s a heart connection, a spiritual connection with composers who knew that they weren’t the true creators of their works, but rather that their creations came from the Divine Source through them. These composers also listened closely to the voices and instruments in their milieu, and created works that beautifully showcased the best that these musicians and instruments were capable of displaying. I feel uplifted when I hear this music; it’s a real, physical sensation.

I also love how these composers listened closely to nature. Take “Summer,” for example. In the first movement, one can clearly hear a lazy summer day being interrupted by a downpour; in the second, a dog is barking in the distance while the summer haze and laziness returns; but the third movement begins with lightning flashes and rumbling thunder that quickly turn into a downpour more intense than that recorded in the first movement. This piece surprises and delights, and always makes me smile. It’s beautiful, virtuosic violin music — a gem of a work that speaks of a shared experience across time and space. Next time a thunderstorm rolls around, take a really good listen, then go find a recording of the Vivaldi concerto, and you’ll hear what I mean.

I’m glad that I listened to the Universe’s roundabout guidance all those years ago. My life is more “PLAY-ful” because of it. “L” in my P.L.A.Y. framework stands for “Listen to good music,” after all. Taken together with the other elements of PLAY, this helps us connect to our inner spirit in order to live happier, healthier, and more creative lives.

April Lynn James, PhD is a pioneering entrepreneur, speaker, author, soprano, and Designer of Whimsical Things. She is the corporeal half of April plus Madison, a Wonderland-inspired expressive arts and holistic wellness enterprise fueled, in part, by the whimsical rhymes composed and declaimed by her guardian angel, Madison Hatta, Sonneteer.

Their P.L.A.Y.-shops help people lead healthier and happier lives through a combination of Positivi-Tea, Listening, Alice (+ Angels) and Yoga (+ Movement). Dr. April earned her doctorate from Harvard University and may be reached at dr.april@ aprilplusmadison.com. Her Zazzle store, April plus Madison’s Whimsicali-Tea Shop is now open featuring “Sonnet Greeting Cards” with Madison’s rhymes about Time. If you would like more P.L.A.Y. Practices, feel free to download her (plus Madison’s) free eBook Ten Ways to Play It Forward.

LinkedIn Profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aprillynnjames/ April plus Madison LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/ company/april-plus-madison/?viewAsMember=true April plus Madison's Facebook Page: https://www.facebook. com/April-plus-Madison-1414392788775159 Website: https://www.aprilplusmadison.com Free eBook: https://www.tenwaystoplayitforward.com SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/alj-1-1/sets Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/april_plus_ madison/products

December 2021 | 17

Listen to Your Daydreams

by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC

Photo by Francesco Sgura

18 | The Brick Magazine

I

f you’re desiring a quick trick to manifest your heart’s longings — to live what really matters to you — read on! The secret is contained in your daydreams, my friend. Daydreams are those thoughts, fantasies, or dreamlike images and musings that cross our minds repeatedly as we go about our daily activities.

All too frequently, we view these colorful ideas as interruptions to our train of thought. We write off our daydreams as silly distractions interfering with what we have to do. Often, we flat-out ignore our daydreams. Bad idea — they reveal rich, intuitive wisdom.

Our daydreams take many forms. They can be elaborate stories you weave for yourself, or a song you keep hearing in your mind. Or maybe you have recurring simple images you can’t shake, like seeing yourself riding in a convertible with the top down and the wind wildly blowing your hair. Always be on the lookout for daydreams popping up in multiple creative ways!

Be Ever-Mindful Your daydreams are the remnants of your essential self that you’re being called upon to reclaim. Listen carefully to these soul-whispers and the crucial messages they contain. Each and every element of your daydreams reveal a treasure worthy of being mined — worthy of being contemplated.

I always encourage my coaching clients to be very appreciative and respectful of each passing daydream, to slow down and listen. In simply noting and reflecting on the dream’s content, you’re gifted valuable information that can lead you back home to yourself and to a happier, more satisfying life.

From Disconnection to Integration I believe we all know, at our core, what we value, long for, and need. Yet amid the craziness of our action-packed, fast-moving, busy lives — filled-to-overflowing with more doing than feeling — we can become emotionally disconnected from ourselves. We end up feeling frazzled and unmoored from our truth. We become off-centered.

It’s our daydreams, those flickering, quickly passing images, thoughts, and fantasies, that if carefully considered, can lead us back to our souls’ priorities. So gather up those festive details, trusting that if you follow the breadcrumb-laden path, you’ll be well on your way to the integration of your authentic energy, spirit, and life force.

Personal Example These ideas I’ve just mentioned may be best understood by sharing a personal example. Right after my first husband and I decided to consciously uncouple, and officially committed to do so, I started having a really elaborate daydream. This little fantasy would pop into my mind all.

The. Time. Non-stop. It was wild. I couldn’t resist paying attention to it. I also spent a lot of time considering what it was trying to tell me.

The daydream placed me in Italy, wearing a lovely, sexy, red silk sundress. In the dream I’m strolling, early-evening, through cobblestone streets until I stumble upon a quiet, romantic little courtyard café. I sit down at a tiny table for two. Feeling relaxed, beautiful, luxurious, and completely enchanted by the setting — including the canopy of sparkling lights over head — I order a glass of red wine.

Within minutes it arrives, along with a gorgeous, tall, dark, handsome-as-hell Italian gentleman. He extends his hand lovingly, asking me to slow dance with him to the beautiful music being played by a string quartet in the corner of the restaurant. We dance, moving sensually and deliciously close together for a long time. The daydream continues on in wonderful ways that, for the sake of this writing, I’m going to leave to your imagination!

Awakened Insights Realizing that I was having a repetitive daydream that wasn’t going away, I spent time contemplating each and every element contained within it. I realized that intuitively, this daydream was elegantly calling me to step back into my feminine energy and power. Now this was notable, because one reason my husband and I decided to divorce (and the main reason for me) related to a behavioral pattern from which I seemed unable to extricate myself. Specifically, in our years-long relationship dance, I was the main organizer, planner, strategizer, goal-setter, and plain-old “doer” in the partnership. In other words, for us to function as a couple, I felt I had to suppress a more sensual part of myself.

In this union, the way our dynamics worked, it felt nearimpossible for me to lean back, to actively surrender and feel cared for, cherished, and supported. I longed to do less and feel more. Yet, I had become completely disconnected from this feminine energy.

It really should’ve come as no surprise, then, that the minute my husband and I decided to free ourselves from

December 2021 | 19

our marital partnership, the possibility of re-embracing my feminine energy would surface in the form of a magnificent, fun daydream.

It was a daydream set in a place I’d always longed to visit — the land of my ancestors — in the context of a relationship dance that would help me literally and figuratively find my proper balance and footing! I desired to feel seen, sought after, and lovingly connected with. The daydream exquisitely laid out for me my next steps. Thank heavens I paid attention!

From Insight to Manifestation I’m delighted to report that after several years of deliberately heeding the wisdom of that daydream, I slowly but surely reclaimed my radiant, sensual, sexy, feminine presence. And the best part: I called in a tall, bald, and handsome beloved who is now my husband and soulmate.

Together, we actually did journey to Italy, and we shared the adventure of a lifetime! It was a first visit for both of us. We reveled in the beauty and sensualness of a country ripe with olives, incredible marble statues, ancient churches, mosaics, brilliant seas, fuchsia flowers, and oh, those cappuccinos. Not to mention the incredible Amalfi Coast!

20 | The Brick Magazine

And yet, it was in a quiet little Italian café, sharing red wine and pasta, gazing across at my love, that I wept, my heart feeling so, so full. In that simple yet profound moment, I realized I had brought my daydream to life — only it was ten times better than I had imagined.

And so, my friend, let this little tale inspire you to notice and attend to each and every daydream you find yourself in. Listen carefully. Intuitive guidance awaits you there — and maybe even your own adventure of a lifetime!

Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world.

She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com Instagram: @life_coach_maria Facebook: www.facebook.com/LifeEmpowermentCoaching

S P IN N ING T H READS I NTO

The fabric of our old lives is unraveling.

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December 2021 | 21

The “Return” of the Dining Room

by Tiffany Birch

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he idea of “open concept” living spaces, once the most desired floor plan amongst the majority of Western families looking to relocate or remodel, appears to be going by the wayside. I’m not sure if we can attribute this trend to the pandemic, however; many of those whom I’ve had the pleasure of working with in my design practice the past few years appear to be craving more “separate” spaces in general.

There was a wonderful book written by Sarah Susanka a few years back titled The Not So Big House, in which she describes a space known as the “Away Room.” In a nutshell, what she describes is the need for each family member to have a space of their own — one that’s not necessarily their bedroom. It’s the idea that having a designated area of one’s own, such as a reading nook in the living room, offers family members the peace of mind they so rightly deserve. These spaces don’t need to be large. However, the call for dens, libraries, and meditation rooms can be unrealistic for some due to space and budget restraints.

The phenomenon I’m currently witnessing (and loving, by the way) is what I call the “return” of the dining room. That space that was so casually cast aside to make way for a massive kitchen fully equipped with a flat-screen TV and seating for the entire neighborhood is making a comeback! It seems that many families appear to be regretting their decision to knock down walls and actually want to have a room set aside for entertaining, whether it’s for Sunday family dinner or hosting friends in the neighborhood. Dining rooms are the perfect place to laugh, talk, and solidify our most important relationships — without distraction. Nowadays, it often doubles as a quiet place away from the rest of the house.

As an avid collector of antique china, it would be an understatement to say that I love dining rooms. I seriously do love decorating and entertaining in this wonderful space. Part of the allure of hosting Thanksgiving dinner is breaking bread with those we hold dearest, and if you’re lucky enough to have a dining room, I highly recommend hanging on to it.

Due to the fact that most people don’t use their dining room on a daily basis, it’s safe to say that it’s often clutter-free and immediately offers a calming influence.

It’s also the perfect place to push the boundaries in decorating. I encourage my clients to show their unique style, whether it be the choice of a bold wall color or opting for the formality of a fine chinoiserie wallcovering.

Why not go all-out and paint the ceiling with bronze metallic paint, perfect for reflecting the light of a passeddown crystal chandelier or a simple dinner by candlelight?

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spark when guests enter for the first time and leave them wondering what’s on the proverbial menu.

The table is the focal point of every dining room, of course. How you “dress” the table is what distinguishes a nice meal from an unforgettable experience. It really is that simple. If you have a dining table that you’re just dying to show off, then by all means go ahead and leave it uncovered. Opt for fine placemats versus a cloth. This also holds true if you don’t own an attractive dining table; simply cover it up with a beautiful tablecloth. You need not break the bank for this, as a fresh floral centerpiece and carefully placed tea light candles can do wonders.

Keep in mind that the reason for gathering is the meal itself, and that décor is just the cherry on top. Bon appétit!

Tiffany Birch has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects. She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She enjoys residing in the city and the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Instagram: @birchdesignassociates December 2021 | 23

Grain to Glass

by Michael Fox

You can ask for Ann Arbor Distilling Company products in stores and restaurants across Michigan, or stop by the distillery for cocktails or bottle sales. Here are some recommendations to try sometime this season and a few of our favorite cocktails: Ann Arbor Distilling Company Winter Gin — distilled from locally grown corn with over 20 different botanicals, including Michigan-grown Norwegian Spruce and peppermint.

Fox River Michigan Whiskey — distilled from a blend of locally grown corn, rye, wheat, and barley.

Aged in barrels, then finished by filtering over Michigan cherrywood charcoal.

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BLACKBERRY BRAMBLE 2.5 ounces Fox River Michigan Whiskey .5 ounce orange juice .5 ounce simple syrup .75 ounce Water Hill Blackberry Liqueur Shake all ingredients well in a cocktail shaker filled with ice.

Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice then garnish with orange peel and blackberries.

T

ucked away just a block west of Main Street, in the north side of downtown Ann Arbor, sits the Ann Arbor Distilling Company (A2DC). In an industry dominated by large factoryproduced and conglomerateowned spirits, A2DC is a rare and refreshing exception. You may very well have sipped a cocktail on the patio at the tasting room, or enjoyed a bottle of their spirits at home, but there is a story behind every cocktail and every bottle.

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FROSTY GIMLET: 1 ounce ARBOR Winter Gin .75 ounce Spaulding’s Peppermint Schnapps .75 ounce freshly squeezed lime juice .5 ounce simple syrup Shake all ingredients well in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Strain into a coupe or cocktail glass then garnish wish a lime wheel

A2DC was created in December 2015 with the mission to create world-class spirits right here in Ann Arbor from locally grown and sourced ingredients. The State of Michigan is second only to California in agricultural diversity with over 300 commodities produced and more than 50,000 farms. A2DC prides itself on showcasing all that Michigan has to offer in the products that they produce.

Every ounce of grain used to make their spirits is grown in Michigan. In fact, it’s grown right here in Washtenaw County and processed at the historic Dexter Mill. In addition to the locally grown grain, as many ingredients as possible are grown and produced here in Michigan. Whether it’s the fruits used in making their Water Hill Fruit Liqueurs, the locally roasted coffee used to make Spaulding’s Coffee Liqueur, or the produce and botanicals used in making their Seasonal Gins, as much as possible is grown right here in Michigan.

Another unusual aspect of A2DC’s business model is that every drop is made here in Ann Arbor. Many distilleries buy bulk spirits from large factories. Some redistill it to create their own products, others just bottle it and label it as their own. A2DC controls every aspect of production — from choosing the grain to fermentation, distillation, and ultimately bottling and labelling the spirits by hand.

The local food movement has been alive and well for years. In a time when most of us want to know where our food comes from, how it was produced, and prefer to keep as much of our money as possible here in the local economy, we should be thinking the same way about what we drink. Ann Arbor Distilling Company spirits are a delicious way to enjoy the bounty of Michigan while contributing to the success of our local farms and businesses.

Michael has over 25 years of experience in the alcoholic beverage industry in roles covering every aspect of the business and including fine wine, craft spirits, and craft beer. He currently directs sales and distribution at Ann Arbor Distilling Company where his love for the industry shines through.

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We are a team of friendly cannabis and wellness enthusiasts who focus on cultivating high quality organic cannabis products for the Ann Arbor community and the State of Michigan. We are Michigan’s first certified organic cannabis company and are committed to a sustainable, holistic approach towards cannabis cultivation and sales.

Book a Consultation with Dr. Lisa www.apothecareannarbor.com/consultation Whether you want to try cannabis for the first time or you’re an educated patient, our medical team and expert Apothecarists are here to help guide your journey towards better health. Start by setting up a private, virtual medical consultation with our licensed in-house physician, Dr. Lisa.

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December 2021 | 27

Cosmetic Surgery Around The Eyes: What Should You Know?

by Alon Kahana, MD, PhD

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e would all do well to be better listeners.

In medical practice, much of the diagnostic process relies on good listening skills. In my estimation, 75-90% of a diagnosis is made by listening to the patient, and the final 10-25% comes from a physical exam and various tests to assess and confirm the clinical suspicion.

In a cosmetic plastic surgery practice, the first step of any evaluation is to listen to what the patient is aiming to accomplish, and what their priorities are. There’s so much misinformation and so many false narratives in the field of cosmetic medicine that I often find myself needing to inform and reeducate patients. In today’s column, I will share some insights regarding cosmetic procedures around the eyes.

Chemodenervation (pharmacologically paralyzing a muscle) of facial muscles with botulinum toxin to reduce dynamic wrinkles is among the most common of cosmetic procedures. Botulinum toxin comes in various formulations and brands, including Botox, Dysport, and Xeomin. Chemodenervation is minimally invasive and highly effective. Unfortunately, it’s also plagued by misinformation.

One of the most common is the notion that one should use botulinum toxin “early and often” to “prevent” facial wrinkles. As a result, many young women with nary a wrinkle on their face initiate treatment to chemodenervate their facial muscles. The problem is that if a muscle gets denervated for a length of time, it atrophies. Atrophic facial muscles are a hallmark of facial aging, with crinkly, saggy skin and facial deflation. The goal of facial muscle chemodenervation should not be complete paralysis, especially in young people. While minimal or limited chemodenervation can smooth out the skin and give the face a certain glow, excessive chemodenervation, particularly in patients under 45, will lead to premature facial aging. If you are interested in facial chemodenervation injections, make sure that your doctor, nurse, or PA is well-versed in the biological response to treatment and understands the long-term risks.

Treatment with fillers is another approach advertised to achieve nice cosmetic results. Patients should be wary of overfilled lips and cheeks, and made aware of what they can and cannot expect from fillers. Fillers come in

many types. The most common are formulations of hyaluronic acid (HA), which expands with hydration and holds water for a prolonged period of time. HA is a natural substance, and our body contains much HA in the dermis and throughout the body. With age, we lose some subcutaneous HA, which contributes to facial deflation and aging. Injecting HA intradermally can restore the lost volume while smoothing out facial skin. I like HA — it’s natural and reversible (by injection of recombinant hyaluronidase enzyme). HA breaks down over time — usually over a few months — and requires regular maintenance therapy. Other types of fillers are meant to be permanent and do not require regular maintenance therapy, but they cannot be easily reversed and have a firmer, less natural consistency.

Hence, permanent fillers are better for deep filling, while HA is better for more superficial filling. The ultimate “filler” is fat transfer, which is natural and semi-permanent. But fat transfer requires much more technical skill and is much more invasive.

In my practice, I frequently encounter patients who underwent filler injection around the eyes. Often, there are unintended consequences. For example, HA is meant to absorb water. In the eyelid, HA will cause edema, which will look terrible. The swelling will stretch the already-thin eyelid skin, leading to skin atrophy and premature aging. Furthermore, eyelid skin does not have a dermis, so you cannot get an intradermal injection of filler. This means that the filler is often placed much more superficially than is advised, and the eyelids end up looking swollen, lumpy, and artificial. Removing permanent filler is an ordeal, usually requiring surgery, so it’s never a good idea to use permanent filler as a first-line filler.

In my opinion, one should avoid use of any fillers in the eyelids — more often than not, it looks unnatural and potentially disfiguring. And filler isn’t cheap — by the time you account for maintenance therapy, surgery ends up being more cost-effective, with a one-time payment and long-lasting effects.

The lower eyelids are a common area of concern.

People focus on two things: 1) the ring of discoloration, and 2) the fatty bulge. You should realize that the ring of “discoloration” is actually a result of the fact that eyelid skin is the thinnest in the body, with no dermis, and what you are seeing through the skin is the purplish

Disclaimer: The information in this article is not meant to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any disease, illness, or medical condition. The author is not responsible for misuse of this information. The information presented is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling or care. Anyone suffering from illness should consult a qualified health care professional.

December 2021 | 29

orbicularis oculi muscle. The only way to reduce that is to thicken the skin (for which there are a variety of non-surgical options). Regarding the fatty “bulge,” that’s the result of both orbital fat herniation (forward movement) and descent of the midface/cheek, which creates a concavity between the eyelid and cheek – a concavity that is a major feature of the aging face. Addressing this issue requires a comprehensive approach: some patients benefit from fat excision, whereas others benefit from fat repositioning, and yet others would benefit from a cheek lift to raise and smooth out the eyelid-cheek junction. Some benefit most from a combination of the above.

Finally, the upper eyelids represent the most common target of facial surgery, and among the most common of all cosmetic surgeries. The upper eyelids can suffer from distinct yet related cosmetic issues: 1) excess skin; 2) drooping of the brows, which weighs down the lids and folds the eyelid skin onto the lashes; and 3) weakness or aging of the eyelid-opening muscle, the levator palpebrae superioris muscle. Each one of these entities should be individually assessed and addressed as needed. There are so many ways to address them that there’s much room for customizing the approach to patient needs and desires. Sometimes a part of the eyelid surgery may be covered by insurance if the eyelid position interferes with visual function.

In summary, it’s important that you share with your doctor your symptoms and cosmetic priorities in order for the two of you to formulate an optimal treatment plan. And it’s critically important that your doctor listens to you — that’s the first step in any medical encounter, cosmetic or otherwise.

Dr. Alon Kahana is a professor of oculoplastic surgery at Oakland University’s William Beaumont School of Medicine. He was born in Ramat Gan, Israel, and grew up in Connecticut. He completed his undergraduate studies in biochemistry at Brandeis University and received his MD and PhD in molecular genetics and cell biology from the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine.

In 2007, Dr. Kahana was recruited to the University of Michigan Kellogg Eye Center, where he rose up the ranks to become tenured faculty with an international reputation in orbital surgery.

He has authored over 80 peer-reviewed publications, multiple book chapters and reviews, and has given 100+ lectures throughout the United States and internationally.

Photo by Maria Gloss

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Dr. Kahana sees patients in Ann Arbor, Livonia, and Flint, and operates at multiple locations throughout Southeast Michigan.

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