College Essay

by Caroline Kyser

Caroline graduated from SFWS in 2021 and is attending the University of Denver.

Although it was late fall, the sweat poured down my back as I stood by my desk. All the hope and excitement of second grade had long since disappeared like the drab fade of the leaves each autumn. It was then, as I shuffled from foot to foot, eyes down, that I knew I was different. The numbers and patterns would not —and could not—stay in my head. Not reciting the correct sequence of numbers drew scorn from my teacher, and I sat down humiliated.

Moreover, letters and words jumbled before me, creating an unreadable scramble that my classmates could read with ease. This troubled me, so I turned to picture books, where the images told me the story instead of the words: finally, the library became a place I'd no longer cower away from, but a place I could enjoy. This victory, however, was short-lived because my teacher caught onto my coping strategy and forbade me to read picture books. I cried and cried because no matter how long I looked at the black ink, it still just looked like tearsplotched paper.

Growing up, education was an extremely frustrating experience for me. I eventually told my mother about my learning challenges, and she took me to see a learning specialist. Initially, this was a humiliating experience: I felt powerless because two adults knew about my issues, and I perceived myself as a failure.

Over time, my mother and I discovered I have severe learning disabilities, dyslexia (difficulty interpreting words), dysgraphia (challenges with written expression), and dyscalculia (struggles with math calculations). These challenges profoundly impacted my academic performance, my self-image, and my lack of optimism about my future. After much turmoil, though, I have become an engaged learner and thinker through the support of my family, my inner resilience, and my resolve to succeed.

Enrolling at the Santa Fe Waldorf School aided me in my success towards becoming a confident student. It welcomes and supports students who have learning disabilities. Homework wasn't deemed essential for students younger than fourth grade because the curriculum gravitated towards enhancing a child's spirituality and encouraging the development of the whole child. Fortuitously, Waldorf adapted to my learning strengths and aspirations as I received the support to become a proficient reader and confident math student. It was an odyssey, but Waldorf and its community never let me down. To this day, I have such appreciation for my classmates and teachers at Waldorf because they unconditionally embodied acceptance and faith about my capability.

Through my struggles, I've gained the insight that if I worked tirelessly towards an objective. I'll attain my goal. I know this is true because I have lived it; I've achieved success despite my dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia. My personal resilience, the support of a gifted occupational therapist, and the unwavering encouragement of my determined mother—each of these factors played an instrumental role in my stepping into the intelligent, capable, young woman I've become today.

As a result of my experiences, I have developed a keen sense of compassion for students with learning disabilities, as well as curiosity about the genesis of their challenges. I am astounded that the mainstream education system fails to effectively teach 20% of its students. I frequently ponder, "What can be done to change the system?" I believe more research is needed to study the brains of children with learning disabilities to ascertain the organic differences. With this information, alternative teaching methods can be implemented into teaching pedagogy that will be more effective than the one-size-fits-most curriculum of today.

Ultimately, I realize that without the early intervention I received, my future would likely have been limited. Most students aren't as lucky, and the loss of generations of creative and innovative thinkers is detrimental to society. I pray we decide that education is a fundamental human right, and we work towards providing equitable access to learning for all students. 11