THIS MODERN WORLD

RONCHETTI SAYS HE NEVER CALLED TRUMP “STUPIDEST MAN ALIVE,” AS ALLEGED BY OPPONENT

But...Nah, no punchline needed here.

JUSTICE DEPARTMENT INVESTIGATING COP RESPONSE TO UVALDE SHOOTING

Y’know—because they stood around outside threatening parents with stun guns instead of doing cop stuff.

NRA CONVENTION DID NOT ALLOW GUNS

Probably because nobody wanted to get shot.

NEW APARTMENT COMPLEX IN THE BACA STREET AREA NEARING COMPLETION

And not only will you likely be unable to afford it, it’ll probably fill up in, like, 20 minutes.

TRAVEL LEMMING ONLINE GUIDE CALLS MEOW WOLF ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER

Clearly they haven’t heard about mixing vodka into an Otter Pop and lying back in a wading pool on your front lawn.

HERMITS PEAK/CALF CANYON FIRE 50% CONTAINED AS OF THIS WRITING

Heck, it’ll probably be more by the time you read this, and that’s the best news we’ve heard since the legal weed thing.

EVACUATED MORA HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS DO PROM AT GOVERNOR’S MANSION

Which sounds decidedly better than our prom, which was just in a gym someplace.

READ IT ON SFREPORTER.COM

THE CAUSE

Officials say the US Forest Service is to blame for both the Hermits Peak and Calf Canyon Fires.

WE ARE WAY MORE THAN WEDNESDAY HERE ARE A COUPLE OF ONLINE EXCLUSIVES:

MIDTOWN MANIA

City keeps on considering stuff for Midtown Campus, but also this is taking forever. This time is a special designation.