It Came From the Jersey Shore

the

SB’s hub for od, Fashion, Art, Foolks Libations, and F t.. . who do it righ

. . . Page24

V O L 5 I S S 6 MAR 25 APRiL 8 2 0 1 6

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

IT CAME FROM THE JERSEY SHORE

KIMMIE DEE’S NO INDOOR VOICES SPARKS HERNIATING LAUGHTER IN A SERIES OF SB BACKROOMS. HAVE YOU BEEN? (STORY BEGINS ON PAGE 7)

THE BEER GUY P.8 • MAN ABOUT TOWN P.12 • E's NOTE P.31 • SY VALLEY SNAPSHOT P.34

2|

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Purveyors of the finest real estate worldwide

4

4

4

4

Jan Finley (805) 698-7549

Jan Finley (805) 698-7549

OPEN SUNDAY 1-4 RANCH ESTATE ON 20+/- AC Offered at $3,200,000

ARTISAN OASIS LOS OLIVOS Offered at $1,340,000

2

4

2

4

Cam Gittler (805) 451-5476

Austin Jones (805) 319-3305

OPEN SATURDAY 1-4 PRISTINE & PRIVATE MONTECITO New Price • Offered at $1,299,000

OPEN SATURDAY 1-4 SAN ROQUE CRAFTSMAN Offered at $1,140,000

1

1

1

1

Austin Jones (805) 319-3305

Cam Gittler (805) 451-5476

OPEN SATURDAY 1-4 REMODELED EUCALYPTUS GROVE Offered at $435,000

COMING SOON

VACANT LAND - MONTECITO Offered at $995,000 Cam Gittler (805) 451-5476

FINELY UPDATED NEAR UCSB Offered at $360,000

5 BD/ 3 BA MESA CRAFTSMAN ESTATE Offered at $1,450,000 Cam Gittler (805) 451-5476

©2015 Engel & Völkers. All rights reserved. Each brokerage is independently owned and operated. If your property is currently represented by a real estate broker, Engel & Völkers and its independent License Partners are Equal Opportunity Employers and fully support the principles of the Fair Housing Act. CalBRE #01968421

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

Live like you're on vacation

At Engel & Völkers we don't just sell real estate.

We sell a lifestyle.

Visit our NEW website to search through local offerings and real time open house directory.

Santa Barbara

santabarbara@evusa.com santabarbara.evusa.com

(805) 364-5141

1323 State Street

Montecito

montecito@evusa.com montecito.evusa.com

@evsantabarbara

acebook.com/evsantabarbara

3

S 4|

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

S A N TA BARBARA SHOWROOM ONLY - Special Event Sale -

Santa Barbara 15 South Hope Ave Santa Barbara CA 93105 805.687.7995 AGAJOHNRUGSSF.COM AGAJOHNLAGUNA.COM

Content

Los Angeles San Francisco Lagun 8687 Melrose Ave.,Take STE-B538 135 Vermont St of sorts, thanks 23811 Lanny’s – Isla Vista is undergoing a renaissance to Ali support and initiatives STE-121 La Loscommunity Angeles San Francisco Bi-weekly a strange-but-possibly-true taleCA CA 90069Capitalist – Jeff Harding weaves CA 94103 of how Darth Vader would run the world if the Dark Side ruled 949.6 310.657.0890 415.553.8504

P.5 P.6 P.7

S tate Street Scribe – Santa Barbara has Kimmie Dee, a “demure little radium grenade, a thimbleful of nitro,” to thank for the burgeoning stand-up comic scene. No Indoor Voices is helping our town become the new comedy capital

The Beer Guy –SERVICES Zach Rosen celebrates the start of spring by seeking out bière REPAIR & CLEANING AVAILABLE I agajoh

80 70

UP TO UP TO % OFF%

OFF

ON SELECTED MERCHANDISE ON SELECTED

P.8 P.10

The Fortnight – Marcia Milgrom Dodge brings Ragtime to Granada; American Dance & Music hosts pop-up performances around town; Christian McBride returns to Lobero; Out of the Box Theatre Company concludes sixth season; Zoo’s Line Is It Anyway is back at Santa Barbara Zoo; CALM’s Celebrity Authors Luncheon celebrates 30 years

MERCHANDISE.

OPEN MONDAY THRU SATURDAY.

SUMMER PROMOTION ONLY, OPEN THIS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY

Santa Barbara 15 South Hope Ave Santa Barbara CA 93105 805.687.7995

Los Angeles 8687 Melrose Ave., STE-B538 Los Angeles CA 90069 310.657.0890

San Francisco 135 Vermont St San Francisco CA 94103 415.553.8504

REPAIR & CLEANING SERVICES AVAILABLE I

a

Laguna Niguel 23811 Aliso Creek Rd STE-121 Laguna Niguel CA 92677 949.643.2451

de Mars, a farmhouse style ale that originated in the Alsace region of France

P.12

Man About Town – Year five of Lucidity Festival’s six-year cycle includes Lucid University Courseweek classes prior to the main event; Tierney Sutton pays tribute to her father

P.24

The Local – DIANI boutique offers up lust-worthy threads; Koji Tanaka’s functional art sculpted from wood; go get a delicious green smoothie from A Healthy Life in Carpinteria; a salsa verde recipe from Chef Robin; Shaun Belway’s Jesusita cocktail is inspired by the local trail; Maudet’s Artisan French Crepes can be found at Tri-County Produce or online; 5 things to know about local band Ghost Tiger; Mr Little Jeans answers our questions; Seaside Gardens hosts a two-day succulent event

agajohnlaguna.com

F O R S A L E ▶ 401 CHAPAL A ST., SUITE 106 ± 9 7 9 SF o FF ic e /r e ta il co n d o miniu m

P.25

The Berry Man – Meat requires four million gallons per ton to produce, while vegetables only take 85,000 gallons. Meatless Monday asks, why not stick to veggies for one meal a week?

Cause & Effect… – El Montecito School San Roque’s second annual Techsploration Day connects students with STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) professionals

P.27 P.31 P.33 P.34

Art Beat – Contemporary artist Chris Baker finds inspiration in historical works for his paintings, which can be seen in his studio in Carpinteria

E’s Note – Elli visits BUNS – Bunnies Urgently Needing Shelter – to volunteer, which involves petting and caring for abandoned bunnies

Newly Constructed | Offered at $750,000

I Heart SB – An anonymous Craigslist rendezvous leads to a troubling discovery, in the conclusion of the two-part story, Highly Classified

Exceptional opportunity to purchase a ±979 SF 1st floor office/retail suite fully builtout and in move-in condition. Includes 2 reserved, garaged parking spaces. Within Sevilla, a beautifully designed and recently constructed mixed-use complex. Located just one block from State Street, close to the Funk Zone, Stearns Wharf and Paseo Nuevo.

Steve Brown

Austin Herlihy

Chris Parker

805.879.9607

805.879.9633

805.879.9642

BRE 00461986

BRE 01518112

Santa Ynez Valley Snapshot – The Juicy Life Juicery’s Kimberly Zimmerman sells her nutritious elixirs at the Valley Grind, changing the offerings weekly

BRE 01887788

The Radius Team.

Monumental Results. Every Time.

2 0 5 E . C a r r i l l o s t. s u i t E 1 0 0 | s a n ta B a r B a r a C a 9 3 1 0 1 8 0 5 . 9 6 5 . 5 5 0 0 | r a d i u s g r o u p. C o m

Join us for some warm Irish hospitality, authentic food and excellent pints.

$10 daily lunch menu featuring over 13 items.

18 E ORTEGA ST., SANTA BARBARA • 11:302:00AM EVERY DAY 805-568-0702 • www.dargans.com •

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

Lannys take

by Lanny Ebenstein

Lanny Ebenstein is president of the California Center for Public Policy

Great Things Happening in Isla Vista

I

sla Vista is undergoing transformation as a community. As a result of the leadership of many – including the University of California at Santa Barbara, Assembly Member Das Williams, Supervisor Doreen Farr, Santa Barbara City College, and many Isla Vista community leaders and participants – the seaside community is enjoying a true renaissance.

Crime is markedly down. There was approximately a 25 percent decline in serious crimes reported in 2015 compared to 2013. There was about a 20 percent decline in all crimes reported (serious and non-serious). Significantly, drug abuse and drunkenness violations have decreased about one-third.

Isla Vista is, as one local reporter recently wrote, “growing up.” Assembly Member Williams merits genuine approbation for his perseverance and leadership on Assembly Bill 3, which is allowing creation of the Isla Vista Community Services District. This district is the next step in Isla Vista government organization, and merits strong interest when it appears before LAFCO in the coming weeks and months.

The first LAFCO hearing is currently scheduled for the afternoon of Thursday, April 7. The crucial issue before LAFCO is the utility users tax for the proposed district, which is recommended to be eight percent. It is important to note that the utility users tax would not apply to all utilities and that, after the district were formed, there would be an exemption for low-income residents.

This November will be the most wild and intriguing election in Isla Vista ever.

There are already three seats in the Isla Vista Recreation & Park District (including that of incumbent Ethan Bertrand, who has indicated an interest in continued service) that will be up for election. In addition, there will be five new seats for the Isla Vista Community Services District that will be elected. That’s a total of eight elected positions on the ballot in IV this November. Other local districts in which IV is included that will hold elections this November include the Goleta West Sanitary District and the Goleta Union School District. And, the proposed

VVT

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

5

utility users tax to fund the community services district will be on the ballot.

Another important initiative in Isla Vista right now is the creation of the Isla Vista Community Center in the heart of Isla Vista on Embarcadero del Mar adjacent to the community resources building. Isla Vista has long lacked a center. The Isla Vista Community Center will become among the most vibrant focal points in the community.

Supervisor Farr and her able Isla Vista assistant, Esther Aguilera, deserve much credit for initiating and sustaining the Isla Vista Community Center project.

Supervisor Farr led the effort to obtain $483,000 through the county from a federal grant for the community center. Unfortunately, this amount will probably not be sufficient to allow the community center to open, and it is anticipated that the Isla Vista Community Development Corporation, a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization focused on Isla Vista capital projects, will participate in a fund-raising campaign for the Isla Vista Community Center.

The Isla Vista Community Center was strongly endorsed by the UC Santa Barbara Foundation Trustees’ Advisory Committee on Isla Vista Strategies, chaired by Duncan Mellichamp. In the goal section on creating a “sustainable, dynamic, and diverse intellectual environment in Isla Vista” in the committee’s report, one recommendation is: “Establish a Community Center and Isla Vista Oriented Programming to Service All Constituencies,” calling for establishment of a “community center that anchors and integrates academic and civic initiatives.”

Clearly, the role of UCSB in the Isla Vista Community Center will be vital.

Isla Vista is also undergoing an arts renaissance. Under the leadership of UCSB Art Professor and Isla Vista resident Kim Yasuda, the Project for Public Spaces recently held a two-day workshop in Isla Vista. The sessions were funded by the Santa Barbara Foundation. It is anticipated that at least one street mural will be painted in Isla Vista this year.

In his September 25, 2014 letter on Isla Vista issues, Chancellor Henry Yang spoke of new policies by UCSB that would “transform IV so that its living and learning environment will complement the excellence, diversity, and stature of our preeminent, world-class university.” He also wrote of UCSB’s “great energy and commitment to find ways to improve the quality of life of our students and residents of Isla Vista.”

Clearly, the transformation of which Chancellor Yang spoke is occurring. The year 2016 will be a watershed year in the history of Isla Vista and UCSB.

JOIN NOW AND RECEIVE

$200

TO USE AT ONE OF THESE STORES!

S A N T A B A R B A R A AT H L E T I C C L U B 5 2 0 C A S T I L LO S T R E E T (805) 966–6147 C AT H E D R A L OA KS AT H L E T I C C LU B 5 8 0 0 C AT H E D R A L OA K S R OA D (805) 964–7762 WWW.SWELLCLUBS.COM • LIKE US ON FACEBOOK Offer based on an annual membership agreement. Cannot be used in conjunction with other promotional offers. Some restrictions may apply. Expires April 30, 2016.

6|

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Bi-Weekly Capitalist

by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding is a real estate investor and a writer on economics and finance. He is the former publisher of the Daily Capitalist, a popular economics blog. He is also an adjunct professor at SBCC.

Darth Vader Economics

T

he forces of the Empire and the Dark Side eventually won and ruled the Galaxy. The Emperor, being no dope, was wary of Darth Vader and decided it was best to get him as far away from Imperial City as possible so he posted him to a small backwater planet called Earth. “Good luck, Vader,” he said as he saw him head for the outer reaches of the Galaxy.

“Lord Vader,” as Darth liked to call himself, didn’t take too kindly to his banishment. He plotted ways to regain power. He decided that he needed a powerful economic base to pay for the things he would need to knock over the Emperor.

Earth was stagnating in a post-War recovery and was no economic powerhouse. So Vader vowed to take this little planet to new heights of prosperity and wealth which would launch him back into planetary leadership.

Vader hired all the best advisers and economists he could find and called them his Council of Economic Advisers. “Put together a plan to make Earth the most powerful economy in the Galaxy. OR ELSE!” “Yes, Lord Vader,” they nervously replied.

So they pondered, did a bunch of mathematical calculations, and came up with a plan they called “The Earth Prosperity Plan of 3329”.

It was pretty simple. They figured that all they needed to make the economy take off was for the government to spend like crazy on infrastructure, weapons, and star troopers. They thought this would stimulate spending, which would create greater demand for goods, which would ignite production, create more jobs, wages would rise, and prosperity would break out.

First, they replaced the old currency, Earth credits known as “dollars” (backed by a barbaric metal called gold), with the “darth,” a piece of paper that could be exchanged for goods. They could print as many darths that they needed to pay for the spending.

“Now there is no limit on what we can spend! Think of all the tax revenue from this prosperity,” the advisers bragged. Darth fantasized about a powerful new fleet of Star Cruisers.

Even though they printed billions of new darths, there just weren’t enough raw materials, machines, and factories to go around. Wages went up but prices went up even faster as businesses flush with darths competed to buy raw materials and machinery. Pretty soon producers held on to their commodities and machines because the darths that piled up in their bank accounts couldn’t buy much as prices skyrocketed. The economy went into a decline. Then the stock market crashed hard. Unemployment went way up. Tax revenues went down, way down.

Vader sat down with his advisers, all of whom were justifiably nervous about being in the same room with him. “You idiots made a mess of things!” Vader hissed. “Do something NOW!” He mind-choked a couple of them to drive the point home.

They came up with "The Earth Recovery Plan of 3332."

The advisers decided that they just didn’t spend enough before, so they went on a huge spending spree building new spaceports, power generators, magnificent government buildings, and spectacular new venues for the Galactic Games, which they hoped to land in 3336. To pay for it they printed more darths. While that briefly helped some of those in the construction business, it seems no one used these new things and scarce resources were just wasted on them. Prices started to fall and unwanted goods piled up.

FULL SERVICE MAINTENANCE & REPAIR Established 1978

Muller & Go s s

Locally Owned

IMPORT AUTO REPAIR Specializing In

Mercedes • BMW•Audi Rolls Royce• Mini•VW

962-1613

www.mullerandgoss.com

424 N. Quarantina Santa Barbara, CA

The advisers decided that the problem was that people still weren’t spending enough. “We’ve got to give them more purchasing power” Vader’s advisers decided.

So they set a minimum wage of not less than 15 darths an hour, reduced the work week to 35 hours, doubled overtime wages, and made it difficult for employers to lay off workers. They also set minimum prices for agricultural products to keep farmers happy.

Unfortunately, factories and farms shut down because workers were too expensive and nobody would pay artificially high prices. Unemployment skyrocketed.

The advisers were really worried now. One of them said, “Cheap imports from the planets Kessel, Coruscant, and Corellia are costing Earthling jobs! We’ve got to protect our workers. Who negotiated these bad trade deals?” They set up tariffs on goods from these planets making them expensive. Unfortunately, no one on Earth produced these goods anymore, so the prices of t-shirts, intelligent computing devices, low cost podracers, and diatium fuel went up and became hard to find.

Kessel, Coruscant, and Corellia, now pissed off at Earth, retaliated and put up barriers on goods imported from Earth. As a result, those Earth businesses that relied on selling goods off-world went out of business.

The planet plunged into the worst depression since the pre-war depression of 3029 to 3049. Unemployment was about 20% and growing, food and goods were scarce, and people grew restless.

Humans, Vader discovered, turned out to be … ornery. They just never did what he and his advisers thought they should do. They even seemed to be immune to his mind control. They refused to work at the point of a blaster, they dropped out, bartered for goods on the black market, drank moonshine, toked up, and well, just didn’t care. Then the droids began to break down, spare parts being impossible to find. Even the Storm Troopers, all of them draftees and pissed off for not getting paid, started drinking and taking mind-bending substances. Vader just didn’t have enough troops to keep the locals in line, no matter how many he killed with his Dark Side powers. It was rumored that they were secretly hoarding blasters, proton grenade launchers, and even phasers.

As unemployment hit 25%, the blasters came out of hiding. The Storm Troopers had no stomach for fighting their neighbors, and, after a few skirmishes with the rebels, they joined them. They could care less about Vader. Vader and his cronies wisely made a quick exit from the planet.

Giwdul Nov Sesim and Derf Nov Keyah, two uncompromising economists on the rebel “Rebuilding Earth Now” committee, suggested burning all the darths, using gold as a medium of exchange, and leaving people alone to do what they do best. Eighteen months later the economy prospered, people were happily back at work. Oh, and down at their tech hub, Carbonium Valley, they developed a super ray and planetary shield that was more powerful than anything in the Galaxy. They even kind of hoped Darth Vader would return so they could demonstrate it to him.

This story is a combination of actual events from the depression of 1920-1921, the Great Depression of 1929 to 1949, and the Great Recession of 2008 to 2014

Publisher/Editor • Tim Buckley | Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Editor/Creative Director • Megan Waldrep Columnists Shop Girl • Kateri Wozny | Man About Town • Mark Leisure Plan B • Briana Westmacott | Food File • Christina Enoch Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | Cinema Scope • James Luksic Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Tommie Vaughn I Heart SB • Elizabeth Rose | Fortnight • Jeff Wing State Street Scribe • Jeff Wing | Holistic Deliberation • Allison Antoinette Up Close • Jacquelyn De Longe | Behind The Vine • Hana-Lee Sedgwick The Local • Megan Waldrep | Lanny’s Take • Lanny Ebenstein Advertising/Sales Tanis Nelson • 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks • 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell • 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Kim Collins • 805.895.1305 • kim@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every other Friday 133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: tim@santabarbarasentinel.com

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

STATE STREET SCRIBE

by Jeff Wing

Jeff is a journalist, raconteur, autodidact, and polysyllable enthusiast. A long-time resident of SB, he takes great delight in chronicling the lesser known facets of this gaudy jewel by the sea. Jeff can be reached at jeffwingg@gmail.com.

The Lady Would Like You to Wet Your Pants

301 moToR wAy

805.966.1010

e oR tH sAntA B F G AR in

R BA

DESIGN

A

PRi nt

OTTON WOPRINTING

LetteRPRess An early show at Velvet Jones – Ritch Shydner, Rick Aronovich, Kira Soltanovich, Rick Overton. And Kimmie!

K

immie Dee; Stand-up comic.

Impresario. There’s a lot going on.

For one thing, she’s nonstop. One is tempted to call her a dynamo, but that suggests something like an admirably tireless motor, and she’s really more like a Wham-O product flailing at the end of a pressurized garden hose. Dee is possessed of smoldering Mediterranean eyes and a motor mouth that can stop on a dime and blossom unexpectedly into a 1000-kilowatt smile that really lights up the place. She’s loud and profane and funny and her verbiage escapes her like it’s been crowding the exit for an hour.

She shakes her long hair when speaking emphatically; or “when speaking,” I should say. She shrugs her shoulders and slashes her hands around and generally makes a scene. Her syntax relies heavily on the F-bomb, which she’ll shoehorn quite organically into a sentence between the article and the noun. “Lookithat F-bomb view, wouldja?” “Pass me the F-bomb ketchup, hon.” She is, shall we say, emphatic in her declarations. Oh, and she’s under five feet. She’s a demure little radium grenade, a thimbleful of nitro. Her husband Glen, by contrast, is something else again; a soft-spoken, boyishly handsome guy with a disarming smile and temples daubed with Hugh Beaumont gray. And he’s about 7 1/2 feet tall. It’s really something. You meet the two of them and it’s like being greeted by Chewbacca and R2-D2.

Tonight Glen is studiously destroying a plate of unidentified meats on the back patio of Savoy Tivoli (on Figueroa downtown); all concentrated staring and clinking cutlery. Kimmie is seated

opposite me with a bottle of water. “You hungry? You wanna eat something?” she asks when I arrive. I demur. “Yeah, I already ate, too!” Kimmie, late of the Jersey Shore, is one of those exclamatory souls whose utterances often emerge as calibrated shouts.

“I found my percentiles the other day, from when I was a kid!” “…your percentiles?” the interviewer wonders aloud.

“Her height and weight,” Glen clarifies quietly, working his plate with fore-fingered knife and fork.

“When I was in fourth grade I was forty two pounds and forty two inches!

I don’t know what I was in the 7th grade when we moved from Northern Jersey to the Jersey Shore, but I was really tiny!

I mean, look at me now. I’m two inches taller than a dwarf. I’m four-eleven and I think they’re four-nine!”

“You’re a tall dwarf,” Glen offers helpfully from the corner.

No Indoor Voices

So, here’s that buried lead. Besides being a stand-up comic, Kimmie Dee is more recently den mother to a gang of Top-Tier comics who have taken it upon themselves to make our li’l old SB a verifiable comedy capital by throwing down shows whose collective reputation is spreading like a rash. Uh, a really good rash. These freewheeling No Indoor Voices comedy happenings, hosted in a handful of wondrous commercial district back rooms you likely never knew existed, are quietly having the intended effect, and the word is spreading. The ...continued p.20

mu

93

co

m

1

OFFSET & DIGITal

nit y si n

ce

1

Reinvented in 2007 Keeping the old world alive wITh modeRN TechNoloGy • woottonprinting.com •

Happy Hour at Every day from 3pm to 7pm

Wines by the Glass 4

$ 5.00 per glass of wine for all varietals, Chardonnays, Sauvignon Blanc, Viognier, Riesling, Pinot Grigio, Rosé, Syrah, Pinot Noir, Malbec, Cabernet, Carmenere

Appetizers 4

Get one, get the second half off.

The Andersen’s Danish Bakery & Restaurant (805) 962-5085 1106 State Street, Santa Barbara andersenssantabarbara.com

7

8|

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by Zach Rosen

A Beer Style to Keep

S

pring is the time of year in the beer world most commonly associated with doppelbock, the strong German lager traditionally brewed for Lent. For me, the month of March always makes me seek out bière de Mars, or “March Beer.” This unique type of beer is one of the farmhouse style ales from the BelgianFrench border. You might have seen the term “farmhouse” around breweries or on a beer label. In the U.S. this term often refers to the saison style of beers, however this family also encompasses the bière de Mars and bière de garde styles.

La Goudale is a good example of the bière de garde style

A Tale of Two Beers Bière de Mars originated in the Alsace region of France. As with much of beer history, the exact details of bière de Mars’ origins has faded into lore and blended its roots with modern marketing practices. There are two branches of thoughts. Some beer historians accredit this style’s roots to the lambic beers of the Belgian Payottenland. Lambic as a general term refers to the family of wildly fermented, sour beers from the Senne Valley in

Belgium. Bière de Mars is said to have been a similar version of the lambic style, faro, which is a low-alcohol blended lambic sweetened with dark candi sugar. Faro and bière de Mars were released in the spring and summer months as a low cost, easy drinking beer for the working class and farmers.

These beers were produced from a technique called parti-gyle brewing where a brewer will use the same grain two or three times to produce different

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

batches of beer. Parti-gyle brewing is a good technique for stretching out your grain and lowering the cost of your beer. Each use of the grain reduces the amount of sugar left in the malt and the brewer gets a lower and lower alcohol content each time.

Bière de Mars is thought to have gotten its start as one of these lowalcohol parti-gyle brews. Unlike the lambic style, faro, it remained unsweetened and possibly had an even lower alcohol content of 1-2% ABV, serving the function of a table beer for farm workers. Table beers were barely alcoholic brews that were meant to be drunk throughout the day as a source of nutrients and sustenance rather than intended for intoxication. Several accounts even mention bière de Mars sometimes being part of the blend that constructed faro. Or at least this is the story told by some beer historians and there are essentially no historical examples of this interpretation still in production.

The Story That Has Kept

properties m a r s h a kot lYa r

Representing Exceptional Properties of Montecito & Santa Barbara Chairmans CirCle DiamonD

www.monteCitoFineestates.Com|805.565.4014 Bre : 01426886, 1317331

In a different view, some beer historians think that bière de Mars evolved as a subset of the bière de garde style. Bière de garde roughly translates to “beer for keeping.” Brewing used to be seasonal before the invention of mechanical refrigeration. Brewers would take the grain harvest in the fall and brew until the spring months before the weather started heating up. Beer produced during the brewing season was meant for immediate consumption, while the beer brewed at the end of the season was stronger in alcohol, which helped stave of oxidation. These beers for keeping would last through the

spring and summer and finish off in the fall, when the new harvest would come in and the brewing season would begin again.

If you have heard this bit of history before, it was likely associated with the saison style of beer. Generally speaking, “saison” refers to the beers produced in Belgium and “bière de garde” is designated for the French brews.

Together, saison (French for “season”) and bière de garde make up the “farmhouse” beer family as these two terms were used for the beers produced in the farmhouse breweries of France and Belgium. As farmhouse beers would age they would become more sour from the wild microorganisms present in the wooden casks. This gave these brews a funky tartness that is similar to the flavor of lambics.

According to some historians, bière de Mars was a bière de garde brewed in early winter when the ingredients were fresh and at their finest and aged to be served in March as a way of welcoming the spring. The cold, long fermentation resulted in a slightly lagered beer that had a clean, crisp flavor. The Germans’ March beer style, Maerzen, is similar in practice to the other farmhouse beers in that it was a lager brewed in March and intended to last through the warm season. These beers would be aged in caves, which reduced the presence of wild microorganisms and the tart flavor associated with the farmhouse brews. In Munich, the Germans used an annual fall festival as an opportunity to finish off the last of their March beer. You may have heard of the celebration. It is called Oktoberfest. When mechanical refrigeration was invented, there was no need for seasonal brewing since the beer could be kept cool year round.

The Flavor of Farmhouse Brews

It seems like the idea of bière de Mars as a subcategory of bière de garde has kept and today there is very little differentiating the two besides the name on the label. In fact, Beer Advocate does not even have a separate category and lists versions of bière de Mars in the bière de garde category. Since harvests were different each year, the beers produced

Spring has sprung and rosé season has returned!

Rosé flights are back at Corks n’ Crowns Don’t forget to drink pink.

Corks n’ Crowns Tasting Room and Wine Shop

32 Anacapa Street in the heart of Santa Barbara's Funk Zone Hours: Monday-Sunday 11am-7pm

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

annually would change depending on what was on hand at the farm. This results in farmhouse beers being very, very loose to interpretation and modern brewers have embraced this, using wide varieties of spices, grains, and hops.

Generally though, saisons are typically golden to amber in color with a focus on hops while bière de gardes are amber to brown with a more malt-centric flavor.

The farmhouse yeasts give it a very dry character and produce a lot of peppery and clove-like phenolics. Bière de gardes are usually fermented cooler, which subdues the yeast flavors and lets the malt-forward character come through.

There are not many examples of bière de Mars available on the market. I have tasted several homebrew versions and side projects by breweries, however two U.S. examples have been produced on a large scale. New Belgium brewed a bière de Mars under their Lips of Faith series that had an orange peel and black tea quality with a musty Brettanomyces undertone. Brewery Ommegang’s version is a little fuller bodied and has more yeast phenolics and earthy, wild microorganism flavors. While bière de Mars is harder to find, there are many saisons and bière de gardes on the market.

Our area has a wonderful selection of saisons being produced locally from The Brewhouse, Telegraph Brewing, M.Special, brewLAB, and others, however Saison Vieille Provision from Brasserie Dupont in Belgium is considered the definitive example of the style. The hazy golden brew has a flavor of dusty earth and bread dough with a grassy aroma. A respectful bitterness and an abundant carbonation culminate into a sharp finish that is accented by a hint of black pepper from the phenolic yeast used. Jenlain from Brasserie Duyck is the archetypal bière de garde. It has a fuller body with a honeyed toast character and accents of hay and yeast.

They also produce a March beer called Jenlain bière de Printemps (French for “spring beer,” another name for bière de Mars) however I have never personally tasted or seen it. A personal favorite is Gavroche from Brasserie St. Sylvestre. Named after the character from Les Misérables, it has a hint of strawberries on the nose and a treaclelike flavor. 3 Monts is their more popular, lighter flavored version of the style. Castelain, Ch’ti, and La Goudale are also good examples of the bière de gardes style. These beers can often be found at beercentric stores like San Roque Liquor, Whole Foods, and BevMo. Whichever one you choose, farmhouse ales are a keeper and make a wonderful complement to spring.

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

March Madness $5 specials every day until april 4th

$5 appetizer Menu $5 any Well or call drink $5 pints - 12 Beers on tap sunday through thursday froM open until close friday and saturday froM open until 8pM 21 & over and i.d. required 235 W. Montecito street / corner of Bath large groups or reservations call dave @ 805-637-4334

9

theFortnight

10 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

MARCH 25 - APRIL 8

by Steven Libowitz

Tell us all about your art opening, performance, dance party, book signing, sale of something we can’t live without, or event of any other kind by emailing fortnight@santabarbarasentinel.com. If our readers can go to it, look at it, eat it, or buy it, we want to know about it and will consider it for inclusion here.

Special consideration will be given to interesting, exploratory, unfamiliar, and unusual items. We give calendar preference to those who take the time to submit a picture along with their listing.

No Dodge-ing Ragtime as Revival Hits Granada

T

heater director-choreographer Marcia Milgrom Dodge has already helmed productions at the Granada Theatre twice before. Locals will recall her derring-do in staging theatrical concert versions of Camelot and My Fair Lady complete with a live full symphony orchestra at the venue a few years back, both remounts of highly successful one-offs at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. Now we get the chance to check out her chops with a full-on Broadway musical – or at least the touring version – of Ragtime, a revival of the 1998 musical based on E.L. Doctorow’s 1975 novel about an ambitious Jewish immigrant, an upper-class housewife, and a daring and determined Harlem musician whose lives eventually intertwine in New York at the dawning of the 20th century.

The Kennedy Center was also the launching ground for her adaptation of Ragtime, which eventually moved to Broadway where it earned numerous Tony nominations. In a rarity, Dodge has also directed the touring version of her already spare interpretation of the show, one that focuses – as is her wont – on character and movement rather than spectacle and special effects. The admirably flexible and athletic cast has won rave reviews across the land during its already 100-plus performances. Now it comes to Santa Barbara for two shows, March 29-30, as part of the Broadway at the Granada series. Call 899-2222 or visit www.granadasb.org for tickets and information.

Pop-up Dance

Elements Theater Collective did wonders for locally-produced plays in Santa Barbara, staging stripped down productions of mostly new works at various venues in the area, making theater more accessible by taking culture to the people via free “underground” pop-up style performances (although the organization itself seems to have gone underground, not surfacing since its 2015 “Play in a Day” 24-Hour workshop back in November; there was no further word about a planned production of In a Word, announced on the website for February). Well, now American Dance & Music (AD&M) is doing the same sort of thing for that art form as its Dance: Up Close and Cultural launches

an outreach tour. Eschewing its previous presentation of a single free performance at a single location, the company – founded and directed by Carrie Diamond, who danced with New York Theatre Ballet and choreographed for the Alvin Ailey American Dance Center – celebrates its 10th anniversary season by taking the show on the road to senior and community centers around Santa Barbara and Goleta (alas no swimming pools or hookah lounges a la Elements).

The five free shows take place March 29-31, and will feature excerpts of works from the company’s repertory (some of which will be presented in full at the New Vic in November) and live piano accompaniment by music director Eric Valinsky. On the program are three works by Diamond, all with one-word titles – Haringduet, Pastorale, and Jumble – plus Lizabeth Skalski’s Midnight Tangle and Nathan Cottam’s Elements of Permutation. Catch them March 29 at 4 pm at Wood Glen Hall, 3010 Foothill Road; March 30 at 11 am at Girls Inc. SB, 531 E Ortega Street, and 1:30 pm at Oak Cottage, 1820 De La Vina Street; and March 31 at 11 am at Heritage House, 5200 Hollister Avenue, and 2 pm at Girls Inc. Goleta, 4973 Hollister Avenue. Details at 4507535 or www.adam-bsb.org/adamperformance-group/up-close.

Mack-ing on Jazz

Christian McBride sure must love the Lobero. The Los Angeles bassist, a German transplant, has played the theater innumerable times as an astonishingly inventive and sensitive force within the much-beloved Tierney Sutton Band and has made a couple additional visits with other musicians.

Now he’s back as part of the Mack Avenue SuperBand, an all-star outfit of label mates who record for the Mack Avenue label. Among them is the great Gary Burton, the vibraphonist who fairly invented the four-mallet technique so prevalent today, revolutionizing the harmonic approach to the instrument in the process. Burton was last here with his old pal Pat Metheny, the guitarist he more or less discovered in the latter’s teens, for a reunion album/tour a few years ago. Also in the outfit are Tia Fuller on saxophone, Sean Jones on trumpet, Carl Allen on drums, and

Christian Sands on piano – each of whom also contributed a track to the band’s debut album, recorded live at the Detroit Jazz Festival last summer.

The ensemble kicks out the jams at the Lobero on Thursday, March 31. Get tickets and more information at 9630761 or www.lobero.com.

Shot in the Dark

No under-the-ground issues for another upstart theatrical outfit: Out of the Box Theatre Company just keeps going and growing as the troupe is set to conclude its sixth season with the Santa Barbara debut of 35MM: A Musical Exhibition. The show is a multimedia “musical exhibition” created by SoCal native Ryan Scott Oliver in collaboration with photographer Matthew Murphy.

The photographic images – which will be projected behind the stage – inspired songs and stories. Oliver wrote the music and lyrics, a different tale for each of the shots, capturing moments frozen in time, or hints of a life, or a glimpse of activity or emotions. The intricately woven collection of stories told through song has the goal of re-imagining what the modern American musical can be.

Directed by OOB founder Samantha Eve, 35MM: A Musical Exhibition will be presented in the company’s signature intimate black box production March 31 to April 9 at Center Stage Theater above Paseo Nuevo mall, which perhaps not coincidentally is located directed across the upstairs plaza from the Museum of Contemporary Art Santa Barbara (née Contemporary Arts Forum) which has presented its own share of multimedia exhibits. The cast features a mix of OOB veterans and newcomers, including Sophie Holt, Tad Murroughs, Shannon Saleh, Christopher Short, Willie Simpson, Kelly Sparrman, and Zachary Thompson who share a wide variety of roles, while Kacey Link is the music director. Tickets at 963-0408 or www.CenterStageTheater.org, or visit www.outoftheboxtheatre.org.

No Lion: There’s Improv at the Zoo

Animals and acting? Insects and improv? Creatures and creativity?

Count me in! Zoo’s Line Is It Anyway, the Santa Barbara Zoo’s innovative mash-up of science and improv

comedy, is back for a third installment.

The evening features three local animal experts who are paired with a performer from LA’s Impro Theatre. The scientists first give a brief TED-style talk before the improvisers use the content as the jumping off point for created-on-thespot skits performed by the Impro troupe, led by the assigned actor. Local celebrity judges award points to each team – and unlike the namesake TV series, the points actually do matter: the winners receive cute prizes. Audience participation is not only encouraged but essential for the show, and if you need help loosening your lips, there’s even a no-host wine and beer snack bar open before and during the event.

Channel your inner animal and get down with the creative comedians April 27 at the Santa Barbara Zoo. For tickets and more information call 5693303 or visit www.sbzoo.org.

Keep CALM... and Keep Reading

Somehow, despite the rise of the Internet and the domination of e-readers and the closing of just about every bookstore in town save for Chaucer’s, Book Den and Tecolote, CALM’s (Child Abuse Listening and Mediation) Celebrity Authors Luncheon has managed not only to survive but still thrive. The nonprofit’s most important fundraiser of the year celebrates its 30th annual event on Saturday, April 2, back at the Fess Parker DoubleTree Resort with a fresh new batch of authors being interviewed on stage and/or talking with folks in the book sale portion.

The stars this year, who will chat with Hank Phillippi Ryan (who was one of the interviewees last year) and Tom Weitzel, are former journalist turned author Meg Waite Clayton (The Race for Paris and The Wednesday Sisters), thriller and comic book writer Gregg Hurwitz (Orphan X, which is currently being adapted for a movie with Bradley Cooper attached) and journalist-author Frances Schultz (The Bee Cottage Story: How I Made a Muddle of Things and Decorated My Way Back to Happiness), while the Santa Barbara area authors include Melissa Broughton, Jane Coleman, Lydia Edwards, Margarita Fairbanks, Jeff Farrell, Lisa Guadagno, Dana Kent, Peggy O’Toole, Chris Messner, Tracy Shawn, M.L. VanBlaricum and Ernie Witham. Andrew Firestone serves as Master of Ceremonies. The literary luau starts with sales and signings at 10 am, followed by a catered lunch at 11:45 and the author interviews an hour later. Proceeds support CALM’s countywide child abuse prevention efforts. Call 965-2376 or visit www. calm4kids.org.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

THE PACIFICA EXPERIENCE A COMPREHENSIVE | ONE-DAY | ON-CAMPUS INTRODUCTION TO PACIFICA’S MASTERS AND DOCTORAL DEGREE PROGRAMS THIS SPECIAL EVENT is for prospective students interested in Spring or Fall 2016 enrollment. It provides a thorough overview of Pacifica Graduate Institute’s outstanding academic resources and unique approach to graduate education.

THE $35 REGISTRATION FEE includes all of the day’s activities, lunch, and a $10 Gift Certificate good at the Pacifica Bookstore. Pacifica’s $75 application fee will be waived for attendees.

Space is limited. Advance registration is required.

Register online at pacifica.edu or call 805.879.7305

11

APRIL 21–24 IN SANTA BARBARA

S AT U R DAY, A P R I L 2 I N S A N TA B A R B A R A

THE PACIFICA EXPERIENCE FEATURES • typical class presentations • degree program-specific information meetings • sessions on admissions, scholarships, and financial aid • ample opportunity to interact with faculty, alumni, staff, and current students.

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

Pacifica is dedicated to psychecentered, soul-based education in depth psychology.

Now Enrolling for Spring and Fall

For information on applying, email

admissions@pacifica.edu You may also apply quickly and easily online at pacifica.edu.

A Landmark Conference Marking Pacifica’s 40th Anniversary A prestigious circle of international leaders in social, political, economic, and environmental arenas will come together on the Pacifica Campus to present their insights on the global challenges that face us today, and explore the ways we might all impact the future.

FEATURING

CHRIS HEDGES

VANDANA SHIVA

THOMAS MOORE along with 19 others

Information and conference registration at

pacifica.edu | 805.969.3626, ext. 103

PACIFICA GRADUATE INSTITUTE is an innovative, employee-owned graduate school with two campuses near Santa Barbara. Pacifica is accredited by the Western Association of Schools and Colleges (WASC). Gainful Employment Information is available at pacifica.edu.

THE

PARADISE CAFE

Easter Sunday Brunch on the Paradise Patio Fresh Squeezed Mimosas and Ketel One Bloody Marys $5.00 all day long!

702 ANACAPA STREET • PARADISECAFE.COM • (805) 962-4416 DINNER UNTIL 11PM • LUNCH • SUNDAY BRUNCH

Call for reservations 962-4416

12 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way.

A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

Lucidity Festival returns to Live Oak Campground April 8-10 (photo by Lerina Winter)

Laying Waste to Lies About Lucidity

I

need to get one thing straight about the Lucidity Festival. It’s absolutely amazing to me that even after four years, many people still think of the event as a haven for druggies, with stoners and crazed partiers zonked on substances and zoned out. “It sounds fun,” people tell me. “But I don’t do drugs and I don’t like being around all of that.”

Wrong.

Personally, I’ve never been to a place where so many people are so present.

Friends share even more than they normally do at home, and strangers are open and willing to be vulnerable, offering a hand (figuratively or literally), a smile, a kind word or more. Community isn’t just a word at Lucidity – it’s a way of life, if only for the three days.

Sure, there are some drugs, although I’ve never seen anything other than marijuana. But it’s sure not the focus.

Even when several in a group of twentysomethings offered a toke of the sweet smelling weed as we crossed paths between villages at the 2014 fest (which I politely declined), they were nothing but respectful and fully engaged, much more so, I dare say, than the majority of people I encounter back down here in town. And after spending a whole day in the Healer’s Sanctuary – much needed, thank you very much, both spiritually and physically at that time – I ventured over to the big stage for one of the headlining electronic DJ sets. Seeing the large crowd, I had some trepidation, so I spent the first few minutes on the periphery before I dared to get closer and dive into the crowd to feel more of the energy. Honestly, I was prepared to get jostled and bumped, crashed into like at any crowded place, but instead people were aware of each

other’s personal space, limited though it was, and moved aside to let them pass, and said “Excuse me” if there were incidental contact. Compare that to a typical Saturday night at SOhO, say, when I get more bruises than I ever have at a sporting event.

The point being, Lucidity was founded as a transformational arts festival, and that’s exactly what it is. Whatever you want to explore is welcome, however you’re feeling has a place in one of the seven themed villages representing mythological archetypes or at places in between. The music goes on virtually nonstop at any number of stages, but the art goes beyond the official entertainment – it’s in the clothing and the installations, the dancing and the partnerships. But it’s mostly about being wide open and awake, present to the situation, which is the only way real transformation takes place.

OK, enough of my ranting. We’ve got some words from Jonah Haas, Lucidity’s co-founder and current marketing director, about the upcoming festival, which returns to Live Oak Campground April 8-10 for Year five of the six-year cycle, and this year introduces a fourday Lucidity University course week the prior four days.

Q. How is this year’s theme, Crossroads, playing out?

A. The Crossroads chapter of our story is about our Collective Transformation in this turbulent Now moment. We realize that we are each confronted by infinite possibility in every moment and that OUR CHOICES MATTER. Combined with the choices of those around us, we are literally co-creating the future with each and every choice.

As we look out upon the landscape of the planet we acknowledge the grave challenges we are facing as a species, and we are ready to find SOULutions. The biggest way this is playing out at the festival is through our expanded Lucid University courseweek, where students

can dive deep into a subject of their choosing and embrace the important archetypal roles of Dreamer, Artist, Healer, Leader, or Earth Guardian.

I understand there is a new stage combining Lucid & Alive stages. Why the change?

This is another way the Crossroads theme is showing up. While in the past we’ve divided the energy into two main stages and kept one focused on Live Music and the other focused on Electronic Music, this year we are merging those stages into one. Our Crossroads Stage will feature a rich and eclectic mix of genres including Livetronica, a crossbreed of Live and Electronic music (how appropriate), which we actually found through one of our music surveys to be our audiences’ most desired genre.

What are your thoughts about bridging the “divide” between cultural-educationalexperiential transformative arts festival and a music/dance gathering?

This has been our mission since day one. We don’t see it as a divide. We have shown that a music/dance gathering can be cultural, can be educational, can be sustainable (or MORE sustainable), can be immersive, experiential, and deeply transformational for people in their process. Dance/Music gatherings are about celebration, and we have really been asking recently. What are we celebrating at festivals, if there wasn’t some deep work done first worth celebrating?

How did Lucid University week come about? And how does it differ from workshops that are offered during the festival?

This year’s is a continuation of the organic growth (from previous festivals), with coursework in the broad fields of study: Earthworks, Spiritworks, Creativeworks, Bodyworks, and Communityworks. The intensives emerged from our understanding ...continued p.16

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

TERRY RYKEN

Your Broker with a Personal Touch

In his 38-year career as a real estate agent and broker, beginning in San Francisco and practicing for the last 20 years in Montecito, Santa Barbara, Hope Ranch and the Santa Ynez Valley, Terry’s reputation has been built on his genuine enthusiasm to meet his clients needs.

His dedicated team supports his marketing efforts through staging, photography and advertising.

Terry’s tireless work has positioned him within the Top 10 agents over the last ten years at Sotheby’s International Realty (Santa Barbara County).

“SINCE THE DAY I MET TERRY I HAVE HAD NOTHING BUT RESPECT, ADMIRATION AND AFFECTION FOR HIM. HE IS THE PERSONIFICATION OF INTEGRITY, COMMITMENT AND LOYALTY.” - Dr. Laura Schlessinger “HE’S A DISCIPLINED AGENT WITH A STRONG AND PERSONAL SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY AND INTEGRITY” - Justin Pace & Mitch Walker

Terry is a firm believer of giving back to the community and a passionate supporter and donor to a broad range of charities, some of which include the Teddy Bear Foundation, United Way, Santa Barbara International Film Festival, CALM, Pacific Pride Foundation, Santa Barbara Rape Crisis Center, Firefighters Alliance and the Dream Foundation.

Terry specializes in ocean view estates in Hope Ranch, Montecito, Santa Barbara and ranches in the picturesque Santa Ynez Valley and Moorpark area.

Terry Ryken (805) 896-6977 TerryRyken@aol.com www.TerryRyken.com

P.O. Box 5441, Montecito, CA 93150 CalBRE #01107300

13

14 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

MILPAS MOTORS

NEW CAR BROKER. DELIVERY OF ANY MAKE AND MODEL OF NEW CARS AVAILABLE. CALL US FIRST.

2000 DODGE VIPER GTS COUPE (20K IN UPGRADES) 36K MILES $42,995

1959 MERCEDES-BENZ 190-CLASS SL 73K MILES $129,000

2011 CADILLAC CTS COUPE, ONLY 3K MILES $24,995

2005 BENTLEY ARRANGE T, 27K MILES $58,995

1971 MERCEDES BENZ 280 SE 3.5 COUPE, ONE LOCAL OWNER, IMMACULATE CAR. 51K MILES, $139,995

2015 MERCEDES BENZ SPRINTER MOTOR HOME, ONLY 300 MILES $129,00

1963 MERCURY MONTEREY 42K MILES $37,995

1959 TRIUMPH TR3, 53K MILES $34,995

2005 BENTLEY GT COUPE, BEAUTIFUL CAR, 34K MILES $58,995

2006 CORVETTE CONVERTIBLE, ONLY 23K MILES $29,995

2004 PORSCHE 911 C4S CABRIOLET, 47K MILES $34,995

2010 AUDI S-5, ONE LOCAL OWNER, IMMACULATE CAR. 20K MILES $38,995

1993 PORSCHE 928 GTS 2DR HATCHBACK 98K MILES $69,995

1999 BMW Z3 Z-3 M 17K MILES $17,995

1999 BMW Z3 M ROADSTER 38K MILES $17,995

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

735 NORTH MILPAS STREET• SANTA BARBARA, CA 93103

(805) 884-8102

2008 PORSCHE 911 TURBO, SUPERB CONDITION. 49K MILES $68,995

2003 BMW 7 SERIES 745I 4DR SEDAN 83K MILES $9,995

1984 MASERATI QUATROPORTE 70K MILES $18,995

1985 JAGUAR XJ, 55K MILES $12,995

2010 ASTON MARTIN RAPIDE BASE 4DR SEDAN 13K MILES $98,995

2012 MINI COOPER S, 20K MILES $17,995

2012 RANGE ROVER EVOKE COUPE, 18K MILES $33,995

2012 BMW 6 SERIES 640I 2DR COUPE 16K MILES $43,995

2012 LAND ROVER RANGE ROVER SPORT HSE LUX 4X4 4DR SUV 45K MILES, $39,995

1984 FERRARI 512 BB 63K MILES $349,000

2014 LEXUS IS-350 CONVERTIBLE 7K MILES $42,995

2014 PORSCHE 911 CARRERA S 2DR COUPE 5K MILES $85,995

2002 ASTON MARTIN DB7 VANTAGE 2DR COUPE 17K MILES $39,995

1972 CHEVY C10 PICKUP, 87K MILES $12,995

2010 BENTLEY CONTINENTAL GT SPEED, 30K MILES 650 H/P, IMMACULATE CAR, $115,000

15

16 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

...continued from p.12

of our audiences’ interests and our observation of what workshops have been well attended throughout the years. So our Pre-Festival courseweek will feature intensives in the subjects of Permaculture, Lucid Dreaming, Art & Creativity, Reiki Healing, and Embodiment & Leadership. Then our festival university will also have five wings featuring a broad diversity of transformational education.

Workshops at the festivals are like dipping your toes into a new pool of knowledge, getting just a small taste, usually lasting from thirty minutes to an hour and a half. The University is a fully immersive plunge, over three full days, each of which will contain eight hours of classroom time per day, group meals, and collective integration time in the evenings. The Lucid University Courseweek classes will each come with a certificate of completion, and in some instances these certificates are recognized by the respective fields.

Given that the festival itself was born out of a lucid dream, what do you think might emerge from the study?

We never know what will happen when our community connects more fully to their dreams, but we can trust that the creative projects, and the empowered life choices that come through when we really begin to listen closely to the messages of our dreams, will be in greater alignment with what is needed in these challenging times, for each individual, for our community, and for humanity. When we become lucid in the dream, we realize ourselves as infinite potential, we are able to let go of fear, and we are free to create that which we wish to see in the world. It is exciting to know that there will be a new class of dreamers diving into this profound work, and we will delight in watching what arises through the process.

Tears for Tierney’s Jazz-Rebel Roots

We love jazz vocalist Tierney Sutton for so many reasons beyond the beauty of her singing voice. There’s the astonishing arrangement she creates with her marvelous band. The rules-don’tmatter approach to taking on whatever direction her heart seems to beckon her.

The interesting stories that accompany her songs. And that Midwestern accent!

Maybe this has something to do with where she acquired all that stuff. Tierney posted this on her Facebook page last Tuesday (edited for length and clarity): “Yesterday I lost my father, Robert E. Sutton. He was a truly remarkable man and a hero. He paid his legal secretary a percentage of his law firm, he paid my mother a “child-care wage” in 1966. He

told me in 1981 that if I would rather he pay for me to have an apartment in New York than pay for college, that’d be fine with him. (He knew before I did that my destiny was to be a jazz singer.) He was an unapologetic socialist (who) started as a conservative, head of his college chapter of Youth for Nixon.

He not infrequently changed his mind about long-standing opinions... He was a civil rights attorney and was described by Milwaukee Magazine as “the most anti-establishment attorney” in the city – and in the same article as having the disposition of “a grizzly bear with an abscessed tooth”... He represented many a family of color whose son had “committed suicide” in police custody. He was also brilliantly, screamingly, stand-up-comedian funny, with a biting style that seemed to reflect the fact that George Carlin was once a client... At various times in his life he was a womanizer, an alcoholic, and a compulsive gambler – but you know what he wasn’t? He wasn’t a liar. Ever.

Not to me, not to my brothers. And over a 29-year illness, he stood by my mother and showed up for her. He didn’t lie and he showed up. I don’t know if you can do much better than that.”

I’m choking up again as I type this.

God bless and comfort you in this tough time, Tierney. RIP Robert.

Last item on 2016 Oscars.

I promise.

This didn’t fit in earlier issues, but it was just too bizarre to forget about entirely. Maybe now I’ll be able to sleep.

Parade magazine ran a Picks column the Sunday before the show which offered “a twist on celebrating the eight Best Picture nominees.” I’m a huge fan of puns and wordplay, so the idea was appealing. Indeed, the Rootvue Farm Garden Laboratory Kit calling attention to The Martian's stranded astronaut’s creative source of fertilizer gave me a chuckle. But tying a fake bearskin rug into the famous scene from The Revenant kinda missed the point of who won that battle, while a Room-inspired View Master Virtual Reality Starter Pack crossed the boundary on good taste.

Meanwhile, hawking Kangaroo Jumping Stilts to conjure The Big Short seemed offensive to both short people and in bad taste after the Pistorius murder conviction in Australia. But that paled to the Spotlight entry: “No decorating sins here. Shine a light on modern décor with this Geometric Brass Pendant Light.”

Seriously? Cancel my subscription!

Apropos of Nothing

I recently received an email from Visit Santa Barbara about the relaunch of its website SantaBarbaraCA.com.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

17

NEILL C. ZIMMERMAN SANTA BARBARA REMAX AGENT

Born and raised in Santa Barbara County, Neill C. Zimmerman has spent most of his life here. He has studied Business, Economics, History, Accounting, and Real Estate. Neill and his wife Nicole happily welcomed their first son, Weston, last year after settling down in idyllic Solvang. They enjoy their evening walks together with Weston and their rescued Shih-Tzu, “Little,” and attending various events throughout the County.

Neill practices as a Real Estate Sales Agent and Office Director for RE/MAX in Santa Barbara. His passion to preserve Santa Barbara and ensure the vitality and sustainability for the entire County inspires Neill to serve as an elected City Council-member for the City of Solvang and as Treasurer for the Santa Ynez Valley Airport Authority.

Santa Barbara

Located in La Cumbre Plaza

Bank on better.

AmericanRivieraBank.com 805.965.5942

better Mortgages. better Loans. better Accounts. better Service. better Online banking.

Santa Barbara

Montecito

Goleta

18 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

19

20 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

...continued from p.7

generation. You respect your elders!”

She laughs again. Long and hard.

Joe Goskowski. The Gambling Nun. The Robert Frost Boardwalk.

Glen & Kimmie. The Die was cast early on.

The Deislers enjoying the out of doors

loose and familial shows feature A-list Amusers and are a miracle of downtown warmth, the packed and happy rooms redolent with a village vibe that recalls the cloistered coffeehouses and barebrick grottoes that once defined an evening out in Gotham an epoch or two ago. The whispering campaign on No Indoor Voices begs the question: why does LA have to be the white-hot center of live comedy? We’ve got the beaches, the mountains, the clear air, the transplanted palms, and enough seamless sunshine to bore a melanoma right off your forearm. Can SB actually become the new comedy capital? A little someone is working on it.

Just Call Me Angel

The most oft-asked question of a comic is not rhetorical. How the hell did you end up here? Circuitously, in

Kimmie Dee’s case. To say the least. The trip was part gauntlet. “I was born and raised in New Jersey, I’m Italian and Spanish. I was named Angel Funincelli before I was adopted.” Okay. That explains the olive complexion and smoky Castilian peepers. “Then I was raised by some white waspy people. My dad’s family was English, my mother’s family was Irish. They were both first generation Americans. A social worker told my parents it would be healthy to refer to me as ‘adopted,’ to keep everything in the open, and it became kind of a label.” When her parents divorced, Dee separately interviewed her adoptive mom and dad, learned she had blood siblings out there in the world somewhere. Including an older brother. “I’d always wanted an older brother. It was heartbreaking and lovely at the same time.”

When she later got a hankering to

SPECIALIZING IN ROLEX • CARTIER • TAG HEUER 30 YEARS EXTERIENCE • ALL BRANDS

Know, she set about trying to find her biological family but it proved fruitless.

“I realized they had a better shot of finding me, but they haven’t, so I haven’t put much stock into that.” Later still she and Glen walked across the North of Spain together, the El Camino de Santiago. “It was the first time I ever looked like anybody. People seeing me would immediately start talking Spanish to me. I was even taller than some of the ladies waiting in line for communion.”

She laughs. “That’s never happened!”

And, she freely admits (and the uninitiated wonder in these instances if the unabashed testimony carries with it a vaccination of sorts, or a salve) she was mishandled as a child, molested. “By different people. I was very respectful of my elders. To my detriment.” Suddenly, laughingly, an innocuous but illustrative happenstance occurs to her. “A month or so ago I was schlepping around town hanging up posters, and a friend of mine, an 87-year-old woman, bumps into me and proceeds to tell me that she’s really upset with what I’m doing to myself. That if I wore lipstick my husband might like me better, that I’m dressed like a homeless person.

I get to the French Press and a young guy there asks how I’m doing, I seem exasperated. So I explained it to him.

‘I just had my ass handed to me by an 87-year-old woman!’ and the incensed kid says ‘well… didn’t you tell her to shut up?! That’s the problem with your

When Kimmie was in 4th grade her family moved from North Jersey to the Jersey Shore. That’s where she met Glen.

Yeah, in the 4th grade. “He’s smarter than I am, he’s an architect.” For the Record (as they say), Glen Deisler is an award-winning architect who works with heavy-hitting design maestros AB Studios, and spends his evenings working the No Indoor Voices comedy show door. If that isn’t the coolest professional dichotomy you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what. “He was very shy, he didn’t pay much attention to me.

I didn’t have as big boobs as everybody else. This one girl in particular.” Kimmie holds her hands out to here and arches her typically overactive eyebrows. “You know? She’s on her third husband now.

Just sayin’.” I glance over at Glen and he’s wearing his happy-go-lucky, mildly helpless Good Sport expression. We both break into spontaneous grins.

Kimmie had a pal by the maybe-onlyin-Jersey name of Jimmy Gosgowski, and the kid had landed a kid-job at the storied Boardwalk, a glitzy, neonencrusted arcade as long as a football field just up from the beach on the Jersey Shore. “So I walked with Jimmy to his work and his boss, a lovely guy named Jimmy McGee, must’ve seen something in me and says, “Kid! Do you want a job?” “Yeah!” Kimmie recalls, “I ran to my ma. ‘Ma, can I take this job?’”

Kimmie Dee’s fate was sealed. When not in school she could be found plying a new trade. She started by working McGee’s wheel – “I got licensed and everything” – where she would take bets and help with the payouts, quickly discovering a latent talent for pacifying wounded gamers with gifted jibber jabber and laugh-inducing sarcasm. Over time she mastered many other aspects of The Game (double-entendre alert), cajoling passersby, cracking wise with the customers and, this writer imagines, looking to transfixed spectators like a caffeinated Lilliput escapee from the

• Personal design consultation • Creative decorating ideas • Re-arrangement of furnishings • Includes written design plan

A fresh & exciting room makeover for people on a budget.

Pat Musarra - (805) 683-9693

Member: Interior Refiners Network® NYC and Allied ASID

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

Comics in various sizes and shapes before a NIV show

Greatest Show on Earth. She describes once going nose-to-nose with a drunk knucklehead who, unhappy at his run of bad luck on the wheel, bloodily smashed his hand through the glass prize case and prepared to ring Dee’s diminutive neck, the miscreant leaning into her, and she leaning right back, eyeball to eyeball. She on a riser, of course. A quick-thinking Boardwalk pal from across the way leapt out of his concession and charged over.

“Hey! You gonna talk to my wife like that?!” The bruiser backed down. The

Boardwalk gang were a family. “They’d be first ones to pick on you, and the first to run to your aid.”

Dee stayed at the boardwalk for – wait for it – 18 years (is the comedy thing starting to make sense now?), learning the ropes about… the Wheel; and yes, that word in this context may be freighted with as much baggage as the reader can reasonably handle. The experience defined and arguably created today’s Kimmie Dee, a bulletproof smart-ass with a heart the size of a Buick.

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

“I learned everything about everything on the boardwalk; how to count change, how to communicate effectively, how to read people. How to take money from a nun. What! It was her fault! I didn’t tell her to play, she kept losing!

Eventually I pointed at the prizes and said ‘awright already! Pick something out, sister. Whatever it is, you’ve already paid for it twice.’” And in the midst of this nearly twenty year span of Kerouacstyle tutelage, Dee attended college (Communications, natch), at one point memorably paying an admissions officer with fresh bills she peeled off a roll of green like a prohibition rum-runner.

The once and future Road Scholar recalls this first contact with higher education. “The lady started looking at the bills and writing down the serial numbers and I said ‘Hey, do ya think if I was smart enough to know how to counterfeit money I would F-bomb need college?!’”

Glen and Kimmie Redux

It was an especially harsh winter in Jersey that broke the camel’s back, as the saying would go if it were about snow and some humped animal that hauled snow around on its back. “Jeff, I hadda climb out my window, drop eight feet and dig through snow so my

dog could pee. I conjugated the f word with every shovel full. I’d had enough.”

When the stuff thawed, Dee packed her things and headed for California, landing in our beloved Bauble in the Bubble, Santa Barbara. She’d spent some time in Florida with this and that sun-seeking boyfriend and had managed there to become a licensed masseuse. It was her intention to ply that trade here in The Golden State where, it’s been suggested, the citizenry are demographically keen on being both spiritually healed and rubbed with oil. The fees required to be in compliance with California’s Rubdown Certification malarkey put that plan on permanent hold. “At that time there was a town-by-town, county-by-county licensure fee that came to $400 a pop.”

Kimmie goes on to indelicately parse the nature of the non-incentivizing Fee Jungle as it exists nearly everywhere, really. “I could illegally jerk you off for $5,000 under the table or give you a legit massage for a $10 tip. Does this make sense?” I quickly shake my head no.

Pals had been telling Dee forever “Awww, you’re sooo funny! You should be a comedian!” Around the time that her massage business plan was heading ...continued p.22

E X PE RT I S E Expert advice.

Comprehensive solutions.

Extraordinary results.

Helping to optimize your financial success.

©Richard Schloss

Tax • Audit • Estate Planning • Business Consulting • Cost Segregation • Litigation Support • ERP & CRM Software w w w. b p w. c o m | (805) 963-7811 | Santa Barbara, CA

21

22 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

...continued from p.21

south in a handbasket, she began haunting open mike nights, found her feet (and her microphone voice – the Boardwalk Bark could denature the alcohol in one’s drink when amplified and she quickly dialed it down) and she was off and running. By the time she was in the swim, the Open Mike life was killing her, the constant driving down to LA and “the sh*thole in Moorpark” was balding her Firestones and eating into her time on earth. “Why don’t I try to get something going in SB?” she thought, the now Grande Notion at first a desperately self-seeking gambit

to have a local performance space. This was the genesis of No Indoor Voices.

At around the same time another momentous epoch began. Kimmie had been tasked by her old high school with reaching out to her fellow alums and gathering them together for a reunion.

One of the calls she placed was to the silent, breast-obsessed future architect with the halting smile she used to pass every day in the hallways of their grade school. By this time Glen was a successful architect in South Carolina and was in the process of being made partner in the firm he worked for

MAKE HUMMUS NOT WAR PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

Broza, an icon of Israeli music, has drawn comparisons to Leonard Cohen, Bruce Springsteen and Stevie Ray Vaughan.

Singing in English, Spanish and Hebrew, he accompanied himself with a surge of guitar sounds delivered with the force of an aural tsunami.

- LA Times

Da vid

Bro za

s Ali Pari

David Broza I n

c o n c e r t

w i t h

a c c l a i m e d

Palestinian qanun player Ali Paris

East Jerusalem, West Jerusalem MONDAY, APRIL 11 AT 8:00 PM LOCATION: LOBERO THEATRE

Israeli superstar David Broza brings his flamenco-rock sounds to the Lobero for a soulful evening of music direct from the Middle East. Performing songs from his East Jerusalem/West Jerusalem album, an exhilarating collaboration between Israeli and Palestinian musicians that combines cultures, languages, and styles into a powerful statement about coexistence, the whirlwind troubadour takes us on a folk-pop odyssey to a place where optimism endures.

TICKET INFORMATION $100 – VIP (includes a reception) | $40 - Section A | $25 - Section B (Tickets are subject to $4 per ticket Lobero facility fee)

BUY TICKETS AT THE LOBERO BOX OFFICE OR ONLINE

at http://www.lobero.com/events/david-broza/

when Kimmie waltzed in with her lucky wrench. Timing (in both Life and comedy) is everything. Hence the phone call Kimmie placed at this potent juncture in their respective journeys.

Glen would not make partner.

As Kimmie approaches this part of the story the Big Guy becomes animated. His endearing habit of avidly smiling and crinkling his eyes whenever Kimmie visits a subject that tickles him – this has captured my attention. These lovebirds are on for the long haul. “Do the first ten seconds of that phone call!” he suddenly blurts, like a fan requesting a favorite bit.

His amused Life Partner obliges the request. “So I called him and said ‘may I please speak with Glen Deisler,” and he says “Is this Keeeeeim?”’ Glen had apparently adopted a southern drawl.

She pauses for effect. “And I said…

‘No. My name has one syllable. What the hell happened to you?” Kimmie had questions, and recounts them now as a syllable-stream delivered in a single toneless exhalation: “So, Glen; are you married, do you have kids, are you gay, do you want to be married? Do you wanna have kids? Is your mother dead?

And do you have any STDs?” Glen, grinning like a lovesick idiot now: “That was the first ten seconds of the call,” he says to me. “I thought ‘Yeah, I remember her.’”

Introducing the Laugheasy

Kimmie Dee’s entrance at a standingroom-only comedy show is pure Blake Edwards. You’re watching a throng of cocktail-clutching patrons standing and chatting and gesturing near the back, and suddenly they’re being startled and jostled and scattered by an invisible tsunami that seems to be barreling through at the belt-line, out of frame. This tsunami is Kimmie Dee. When she leaps onto the stage and starts in, people shut up and glare with smiling open mouths at what looks like a hollering, pint-size special effect. She is mesmerizing. And loud.

Any knucklehead can turn lemons into lemonade, but champagne? Kimmie De(isl)e(r) has figured it out, to our common good fortune. I ask her quite casually how important were the contributions of friends and supporters to the comic aerie that has become her perch. Big mistake.

“Michelle Bedard, with the City, has been our right-hand woman. I can’t even tell you! Oreana Winery hosts our salons the first Wednesday of the month. Elbows & Belly Buttons - How I See It – that’s my podcast! Patrick Melroy is my engineer! He has his own SB podcast called Towned. He’s the best! Troy Conrad and Dylan Brody are

my main mentors, Dylan with writing, performing, and personal stuff. Troy with producing – he handed me my first mic stand, a ‘passing of the baton’ that put me in the clubs. He also came up with our logo! Brian Brand at NightOut.com has been amazing.”

She’s rolling. The comedy family has her in its grip.

“When Robin Williams died, I decided that EVERY show deserved the best performance I could give. Just Bring It! George Carlin was my biggest influence, but I’ve been watching comedy since Ed Sullivan, Flip Wilson, Sonny & Cher, Smothers Brothers.

Hey, I memorized Carlin’s AM/FM album at nine years old!”

At a recent show in the cavernous but otherwise secretive back room at Brasil Arts Café (an indefinably cool restaurant/polymorph near State & Victoria), I watched as the ascot set intermingled with flip-flopped hipsters and tat hulks to take in four standup comics whose stuff had my Life Partner and me struggling for breath.

It’s almost a shame to call this stuff comedy. It’s more like Spoken Word Gut-Busting. One memorable bit about circumcision and the reticence of men to do housecleaning was some of the most literary holding forth on gender differentiation I’ve ever had the privilege of gasping helplessly through.

Being at a Kimmie Dee show is like being in another town for a couple hours, a bigger town with mussed hair and starlit alleyways and flickering neon and marvelous back rooms like speakeasies (laugheasies, maybe?) where all manner of the faithful gather to be lifted with laughter; sometimes laughter sufficient to cause a mild aerobic emergency. It’s happening.

Tonight’s roster will include the classy and rasping Kira Soltanovich, genital clean-freak Laurie Kilmartin, Cathy Ladman’s fizzie-obsessed notes from camp, and bone-dry lumberjack Jon Dore. We can all thank Kimmie. Her Lilliputian Comedy Revolution is well under way. This is real. It hasn’t been easy, but what’so great about easy?

“I think it’s important for a comedian not to have an indoor voice,” Kimmie Dee tells me levelly, with unfamiliar and civil intonation. “The jester was historically the one guy who could speak to the King without getting his head chopped off. Comics are likewise beholden to no one!” She ends on a note of… triumph? Is this a manifesto?

She settles back in her chair. “I’m not there yet,” she says, and lets fly with a contralto cackle that turns heads three tables away. “I still give a shit about what I say!” I look at Glen. We share another grin.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

RECEIVE

528

$

1

IN VALUE

DURING AAA TRAVEL’S EXCLUSIVE

ALOHA DAYS HILTON WAIKOLOA VILLAGE

®

HAWAI`I, THE BIG ISLAND

5-NIGHT GETAWAY FROM $

694

2 LAND ONLY

INCLUDES: • Five nights’ resort view accommodations • Complimentary daily cultural activities3 • FREE Wi-Fi • Kids 18 and under STAY FREE4

Hilton Waikoloa Village®, Hawai`i , the Big Island

100 OFF

$

PER BOOKING

5

FREE CAR RENTAL

6

FOR 5 DAYS

50 ACTIVITY

$

7

VOUCHER

BOOK NOW! VALID NOW THROUGH APRIL 30, 2016 CALL: 805-898-2870 - AAA Travel CLICK: AAA.com/Aloha

VISIT: AAA TRAVEL SANTA BARBARA 3712 State St. S.B., CA 93105

1 The value listed is per booking and equal to the total inclusions and member benefits listed.

RATES: All rates are per person, land only, based on double occupancy. Room occupancy limits may apply. All rates shown include government-imposed fees and taxes. Rates, terms, conditions and itinerary are subject to availability. Certain restrictions may apply. Rates do not include any applicable daily resort or facility fees payable directly to the hotel at check-out; such fee amounts will be advised at the time of booking. 2Rate is per person, land only, based on double occupancy in resort view accommodations for check-in on September 6, 2016. 3Subject to availability and change. 4Kids stay free in same room as adults using existing bedding. Occupancy limits apply.

ALOHA DAYS OFFERS: Minimum 5-night hotel accommodations and round-trip transpacific air required to receive all Aloha Days offers. 5$100 off offer applies to new bookings for Hawai`i at select hotels made March 1 – April 30, 2016 for travel March 1–December 20, 2016. Savings is per booking and taken at time of booking, and not reflected in rate shown. 6Complimentary five-day Hertz mid-size car rental valid for new Hawai`i bookings made March 1 – April 30, 2016 for travel March 1 – June 5 and September 6–December 20, 2016. Mid-size car value is $378. 7Activity voucher does not apply to air/car-only bookings. Valid toward the purchase of a select optional activity. Not valid for hotel direct activity bookings.

23

24 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Obsessed With:

Springing Forward

EN VOGUE ON STATE

I

t’s one of those fashion brands that makes you happy to be a woman. Luckily, it’s on our turf. Owner Caroline Diani has us covered from head to toe and house and home with timeless, cool girl, and effortless European-meets-Santa Barbara style through three boutiques: DIANI, DIANI Shoes, and DIANI Living. When we can’t make it in the shop, her Instagram account has us constantly swooning over new items to cherish in our wardrobes.

DIANI 1324 State Street, Suite B, Santa Barbara (805) 966-3114 Instagram: @dianiboutique www.dianiboutique.com www.dianiliving.com

A

hhh! Do you smell that? The jasmine flowers are in bloom, we’ve got an extra hour of daylight, the air is crisp and clear, and a new Sentinel has just landed in your hands. Life is good! To add to your bliss, we’ve got a handful of locals with a fresh point of view such as DIANI Boutique with their swoon-worthy styles, artist Koji Tanaka’s creative perspective on wood, Ghost Tiger’s tunes that make us dance and sing, The Bobcat Room’s tasty farmers market and local fruit and herb cocktails, Maudet’s Artisan French Crepes for daily dish inspiration, and more. How do we get the inside scoop? You tell us: megan@ santabarbarasentinel.com or on Instagram @santabarbarasentinel. Thanks for hitting us up and please keep ‘em coming!

ONTHESPOT: AWARD WINNING WOOD

K

oji Tanaka is a UCSB grad with an armful of awards under his belt, including two Excellence in Wood awards– one from the Smithsonian Craft Show and the other from the American Craft Exposition in Chicago. As this local artist reveals, “Much of the work is created with hand and power tools, such as chisels, grinders, and sanders, but in the finishing stages, it is completely hand-sanded.” His pieces are fluid, soft, and graceful which for woodwork is not an easy feat.

Koji Tanaka (650) 740-6109 Instagram: @sbwoodworker www.kojitanaka.com

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

the

BerryMan

by Cory Clark

The Berry Man, Inc. is a wholesale produce distributor supplying produce and artisanal products to restaurants, resorts, institutions, caterers, and markets from Big Sur to Santa Barbara to Santa Monica. While sourcing worldwide, special emphasis is on the locally grown. Cory Clark is sales and marketing director of The Berry Man, Inc. and the voice of this sponsored column, The Berry Man.

MEATLESS MONDAYS

O

nce upon a time, the word vegetarian conjured up images of tofu, brown rice, and steamed vegetables for me. Today, I feel that modern cuisine has elevated the humble vegetable. My perspective has broadened. Vegetables are extremely complex and with a little knowledge and technique, they can be transformed into the star of the show. A cauliflower can be a roast, puree, sauce, salad, or soup. With the advent of the Farm to Table movement, vegetables have become much more glamorous. People care more about the pedigree of produce than ever before.

I was recently reading about a non-profit organization called “Meatless Mondays” that is requesting people join them in reducing their meat consumption by one meal per week. For centuries, meat and vegetables have shared the plate, but according to this campaign, unless meat takes a leave of absence at least once a week, we are going to face some serious repercussions.

It turns out there is a huge connection between eating meat and its impact on our water supply. Since the California drought and this campaign for eating more vegetables are both so closely related to my industry, I decided to dive deep into the topic of water and meat consumption. The more I researched, the more convinced I became that eating more produce and less meat should not just be a personal choice, but rather an environmental concern for all of us.

To illustrate, some statistics are necessary: Currently, 70% of agricultural land in the world is used for meat production. It takes 2,500 gallons of water to produce a bushel of corn. A cow will eat 50 bushels of corn by the time it leaves the feedlot.

That translates into 125,000 gallons of water per animal. By these calculations, it will take 1,800 gallons of water to produce one pound of meat! Beef turns out to have an overall water footprint of roughly four million gallons per ton produced.

By contrast, the water footprint for vegetables it’s 85,000 gallons per ton. Sure vegetables and fruits need plenty of water for production, but meat takes the lion’s share!

The demand for meat has driven farmers to plant more corn over other crops.

At the current rate of consumption and the continued agricultural support needed for meat production, we are draining our water aquifers to frighteningly low levels. We simply cannot afford that in states like California.

Tulare County, California has the world’s richest soil. It has been in production since the 1800s. For the first year in centuries, this soil stood barren. California is currently drilling for groundwater, 2,500 feet below ground. Fingers crossed we do not have to buy water from other states, as it would take 17 trillion gallons of water to get out of this drought.

I’m not one to get on my soapbox and tell people what to do, but for sure, I want to be an advocate for this movement. Some of our customers are already participating, by creating a separate vegetable centered menu. I applaud them for their initiative. Berry Man is definitely on board. As it says on our infamous blue trucks, “Stay Healthy, Eat More Fruits and Vegetables!

Can you believe that each time you pass on eating a burger, you save enough water to drink for the next three years? Wild! So next time you have a burger, why not make it a veggie?

WTFORK

DO I DO WITH...WATERMELON RADISH he Watermelon radish is a round root vegetable. Its exterior is creamy white in color with pale green shoulders, and its flesh is white on the outside while becoming bright with circular striations of pink and magenta in the center. Hence the watermelon reference. Its flesh is tender and crisp, succulent and firm. Its flavor is mild, only slightly peppery with nutty sweet notes. Watermelon radishes can be served fresh or cooked, hot or cold. They pair well with fennel,

T

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

25

CAUSE & EFFECT...

HELPING THOSE WHO HELP US

TECHSPLORATION DAY

W

e love a school that gives children hands-on experience, which is why El Montecito School San Roque gets a gold star for its Second Annual Techsploration Day. The event gave preschool through 6th grade students opportunities to connect with community members and companies that specialize in STEM – the fields of science, technology, engineering, and math.

Students discovered various techniques such as understanding water treatment, brushing teeth effectively, finding animal heartbeats, holding million-year-old meteorites, and getting up close to bees, tarantulas, scorpions, and snakes.

Inspired by a similar event by David Yale at Santa Barbara City College, parent and teacher Colette Nottage Crafton led the charge to bring the gathering of minds to El Montecito. The school gives a shout out to Advanced Veterinary Specialists, SB Astronomical Unit, Curvature, Gena Topping and SB Cottage Trauma Services and “Think First” from CRH, Goleta Sanitary District, Mountain and Sea Dental & Associates, SB Bee Guild, SB Public Library, SB Rock Gym, and SBCC Biology Club for contributing and making this fun-with-learning occasion come to light.

C&E...

El Montecito School San Roque Admissions office: (805) 962-3091 elmoadmissions@gmail.com www.elmoschool.com apple, cheeses such as feta and chèvre, butter, cream-based dressings, vinaigrettes, bacon, white fish, cucumbers, mild salad greens, cooked eggs, noodles such as soba and udon, citrus, cilantro, mint and tarragon.

B

26 |

.

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

Local LIBATIONS GREEN SUPER HUMAN

O

ne of our favorite things about A Healthy Life is the thirstquenching bargain you get with each smoothie.

For starters, enjoy an aloe vera shot to cleanse and rejuvenate the digestive track, a flavored tea for added hydration, then a mega-good-for-you smoothie as the finisher. This one is the Green Super Human made with kale, spirulina, chia seeds, Herbalife Protein and Healthy Meal powders, along with peach, mango, and banana to sweeten it up. Yum.

A Healthy Life 1054 Casitas Pass Rd, Carpinteria (805) 318-1528 Mon - Fri: 7 am to 7 pm Sat & Sun: 8 am to 5 pm www.facebook.com/ahealthylifecarp

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

SPECIAL RECIPES FROM TALENTED CHEFS IN SB

QUICK BITES T

o make this authentic and flavorful herbaceous sauce, just take everything and whiz it in a food processor for a tangy, zesty salsa to serve as a dip, jazz up eggs, serve along grilled fish and meats, brighten up soup or spread on bread or crackers. This has become a staple condiment on my table.

SALSA VERDE Ingredients: 2 garlic cloves, peeled 2 tbsp capers 4 small cornichons (or a pickle) 1 bunch flat-leaf parsley, leaves picked 6 sprigs fresh basil, leaves picked

1 handful fresh mint, leaves picked 1 tbsp Dijon mustard 3 tbsp fresh lemon juice ½ cup extra-virgin olive oil Sea salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Directions: Put the garlic, capers, gherkins, and herbs into a food processor. Add Dijon mustard and lemon juice, and pulse the mixture while slowly drizzling in olive oil until all is blended and it is the consistency of pesto. Balance the flavors with a bit of salt and freshly ground pepper. Covered in a glass jar and refrigerated, the salsa will last a good week. i Wild Fennel Sea Salt, or your favorite coarse salt).

Bake until golden brown.

Raising the Bar

JESUSITA Ingredients: 1 oz. White Grapefruit Juice (his are freshly picked from Mission Canyon)

M

eet Shaun Belway. He’s one of the men behind The Bobcat Room, a semi-hidden gem next to The Wildcat. But make no mistake, the vibe is very different. Nine-inch soundproof walls separate the speakeasy – which has a jazz club vibe – and offers fresh, farmers market and local organic crafted cocktails. Shaun created this drink inspired by the Jesusita Trail. Let’s indulge, shall we?

The Bobcat Room 11 West Ortega Street, Santa Barbara • (805) 962-7970 • Instagram: @bobcatroomsb

WHAT’S HAPPENING

30TH YEAR OF HELPING YOUTH

A

uthors join forces to celebrate 30 years of CALM, a local non-profit focusing on preventing and treating child abuse. CALM has invited critically acclaimed authors Greg Hurwitz, Frances Schultz (seen here), and Meg Waite Clayton to be featured and partake in interviews to discuss their current works. Twelve additional authors will be on hand for book signings. All ticket proceeds and a percentage of book sales will benefit CALM. CALM – Child Abuse Listening Mediation Saturday, April 2nd Book sales and signings begin at 10 am, luncheon at 11:45 am For tickets and information: (805) 969-5590 www.calm4kids.org/events/celebrity-authors-luncheon

Private Chef Robin

Robin Goldstein, known as “Private Chef Robin” to her clientele, cooks for special events and private parties.

To book: (805) 284-4264 www.privatechefrobin.com Find her salt infusions at The Santa Barbara Company, C’est Cheese, Isabella Gourmet Foods, the Santa Barbara Winery Tasting Room, Porch on Santa Claus Lane, and Viva Oliva in Montecito.

1/2 oz. Black Sage sun tea (homemade) 1/4 oz. Meyer Lemon 2 oz. Cutlers Gin (from Funk Zone)

Directions: Combine ingredients with ice in cocktail shaker.

Shake and strain into a coupe champagne glass.

Garnish with black sage flowers. Cheers your friends and enjoy.

SweetSpot:

THE

C’EST CRÊPES

O

ne bite of the organic, light and airy French creation will get your brain figuring out how many combinations you can create in one delightful crêpe. Fortunately, there’s a lot. Maudet’s Artisan French Crêpes, made fresh by French woman Bene Maudet, are based from original recipes from her hometown and the birthplace of crêpes themselves, Brittany, France. Call to special order the plain and chocolate edibles or visit Tri-County Produce Co. for a frozen variety.

Maudet’s Artisan French Crêpes (805) 886-4368 Instagram: @maudetscrepes www.maudets.com

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

ARTBEAT

by jacquelyn De Longe

Jacquelyn’s creative interests earned her a degree in fine art from Art Center College of Design, followed by years in the Los Angeles art world working for major galleries and prominent artists. She is regularly published in West Coast newspapers and magazines, in addition to working as a producer and director in the performing arts. She is an advocate for children’s art programs and, she is not afraid to dance down the aisle at the grocery store with her kids when Talking Heads plays overhead. Contact Jacquelyn at www.delongewrites.com.

CONTEMPORARY PAINTER MINES THE PAST FOR FRESH IDEAS

I

n the lofty back room of an unassuming two-story building on Carpinteria’s Linden Ave., is a local artist’s studio where everyday moments are captured with bold colors and distinct style. Contemporary artist, Chris Baker, represented by Jane Deering Gallery, paints fictional landscapes by drawing from the past and the present creating eye-catching works.

“Basically where I draw my inspiration for painting is from the tradition of painting. The tradition going way back to artists like Titian to the present work of contemporary painters.”

At my early morning visit to his studio, Baker explained his inspiration in more depth: “Well I’m doing two things, I’m doing paintings based on figures of people in my family mostly, in this case they’re sort of fictional landscapes, but also I do this transcription of a historical painting, like this Georgian one and this one by Titian. I’ll work them up into what is a version of my own so I can understand these masterpieces and the best way to do that is to paint them…

I’ve done other historical paintings. This is just a thing I like to do.”

Raised by a father, who was a public

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

27

WORTH N E W

Y O R K

Redefined…. for the younger woman of every age Spring / Summer Trunk Show Event Montecito March 26th – April 5th Contact: Victoria Hines: vhines@worthnewyork.com Matti Bourgault: mbourgault@worthnewyork.com Appointments preferred

Artist Chris Baker in his Carpinteria studio

school art teacher, Baker had early encouragement and has been painting since his 20s. He describes himself as self-taught, having attended only one semester at New York Studio School in 2001, and is continually learning his craft. “I look at a lot of painters but one

THE FRENCH TOUCH

...continued p.29

Study of the Night Watch

Schulman Window Cleaning Service Offering great affordable prices this season for residential & commercial.

Offer customized cleaning program for storefront windows Satisfaction guaranteed.

Free estimates.

Skillfully washed by hand.

Licensed/bonded/insured & ladder specialist.

Call or text 805 259-5255

SPECIAL 20% DISCOUNT

Screens, tracks, sills, cleaned for free

Experience FRENCH tHAIRapy in Montecito

Xavier & Milou Salon Appointments and Consultations

805.770.3000 JOSÉ EBER’s salon at the Four Seasons Resort The Biltmore 1260 Channel Drive, Santa Barbara, CA 93108

28 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

the

5 ThingsYouDidn’tKnowAbout:

Q&A

GHOST TIGER

W

hen we first heard Ghost Tiger, we said, “Whaaat? They’re local?!” and proceeded to play any song we could get our hands on, on repeat. Needless to say we are super jacked to be able to see these guys live at local haunts downtown to get our fix (i.e. SOhO, Velvet Jones, and past shows at Seven Bar to name a few). Alixandra Macmillan-Fiedel took time out her creative life to chat with us about all things Ghost Tiger.

1. Ghost Tiger came to life out of a quest to expand (my) sound. Chris Norlinger, a friend of a friend, was fronting his own band at the time and eager to be in a new project where his primary focus could be guitar. On a February afternoon, I sat on Chris’s couch and played him a string of songs. We laughed, talked about recent heartbreak, toilet paper was brought out to wipe away tears as we jumped right in and started working on tunes. And so the story of Ghost Tiger began in 2011, with three other friends on bass, keys, and drums.

2. I’m grateful for all that I learned with the original five members of Ghost Tiger. Now working as a duo, writing and arranging has been challenging and exhilarating. We’ve found ourselves getting more experimental and at the same time simplifying and arranging the songs around their true core.

WITH

T

MR LITTLE JEANS

he head-bobbing, shoulder shaking tunes of Mr Little Jeans brings a breath of fresh air to our iTunes rotation, which we happily blast while driving down the 101, the 154, and any road in between. We are happy to know Velvet Jones will be hosting the songstress on March 31. Get your tickets now and, until then, follow her on Instagram at @mymrlittlejeans.

3. Music has been a passion of all of ours from a young age, however getting to a point where music is bringing in a sustainable income hasn’t been our experience quite yet. The three of us have spent our time as musicians juggling jobs so we can do what we love creatively. We definitely aren’t in this game to be millionaires but the goal is to be able to solely play music someday soon!

4. Our dream is to be able to write and play music full time. To live somewhere in nature close by each other and share a magical home studio where we write inspiring records. We dream of traveling the world playing music and collaborating with other artists along the way.

5. (Advice to our younger band-self would be) Don’t be in a rush, take your time and grow organically. Don’t waste your energy looking for that door to success, but rather spend your time writing, playing, and recording with your band and trust it will happen when it does. Develop your authentic creative sound. Play as many shows as you can and don’t forget to HAVE FUN! Ghost Tiger Out now: new EP “Some Friends Feel Like Family” For tour dates and to purchases albums, visit www.ghost-tiger.com

Sublime Spaces HOW-TO SUCCULENT

M

aster Gardener Deana Rae McMillion and Seaside Gardens (seen here) are spreading the love of sustainable landscapes through the first annual Sensational Succulents class. The class will focus on “low-water, easy-care landscapes, garden vignettes, and container compositions.” Edible herbs, upping your garden tool game, and designing a butterfly garden are also on the agenda for the Spring Fling two-day events as well as a lineup of speakers that will inspire you to play in the dirt.

Spring Fling at Seaside Garden Botanicals 3700 Via Real, Carpinteria (exit Santa Claus Lane from 101) April 2 and 3 Free parking and admission (805) 684-6001 www.seaside-gardens.com

Q: What has been the craziest thing that’s happened since being discovered?

A: Well I got recognized (again!) at a bar the other night, which to me is pretty crazy!

What or where is your happy place? Where you are most inspired to write?

I’m the most inspired to write, when 1; I haven’t written anything for a while, 2; I’ve have had stuff happen to me good or bad and when I’m with one other person in the studio and we hit on something good. I also get inspired by hearing amazing new music for the first time.

When you are performing, do you zone out or is there a place in your mind you go to?

I think it’s a mix between zoning out and being hyper aware at the same time. The better the show is going the more I zone out and time disappears. If it’s a bad show I tend to be hyper aware and view myself in an out of body kinda way and time moves painfully slow or hardly at all.

Who would you most like to collaborate with? Dead or alive?

Both?

Missy Elliott, Elliott Smith, and everyone in between. Mostly people with Elliott in their name! You just never know who you’re gonna hit it off with so I’m open to most things apart from maybe let’s say... Nickleback (although maybe that would be pretty funny actually). I think most of all though, I would love to meet the new kid that no one’s yet heard of, who sits in his or her room making amazing stuff all day.

Make something that’s just ours without any pre-conceived notion to it. That would be the ideal situation.

What is the ultimate Mr Little Jeans dream? Where do you see yourself/your music in ten years?

The ultimate dream is to keep touring, keep making music, make some money to buy a house, have a baby, write for other artists and score a movie or two or three. Wouldn’t that be lovely?

Mr Little Jeans at Velvet Jones 423 State Street, Santa Barbara • (805) 965 8676 Instagram: @velvetjonessb • www.velvet-jones.com

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

...continued from p.27 Pacific

Large Interior #1

person I’m looking at right now is Dana Schutz. Great painter! I look at her work and I look at other artists. I’m constantly looking at work. There is Peter Doig.

You know, these are all great people to look at. Early on I was inspired by Edward Hopper, and going back further Manet and [Jean-Antoine] Watteau, all the way to the Renaissance era.

There are people to look at in every era because they are all so good. I have a big art book collection. I have some nice art books and I’m always getting more and reading catalogues. I don’t read any of the [art] magazines. No, that’s a mistake!

I’ve never looked at one that didn’t make me feel nervous. I go down to LACMA. [My wife and I] go to New York. We go to Europe. I look at the museums. To see it in reproduction is one thing, but to see it live is really something.” He often works an image over at least three times before actually applying it to the canvas with multiple versions of ink drawings and watercolors, practicing again and again to get it just right when he begins on the canvas.

Baker values the process of his paintings as much as the final images he is able to build up. Maybe it is his past experience as a professional builder that is the draw for his layering of styles and colors and the close cut lines of a craftsman. He explains his process:

“I’m pulling paint with a knife, then when I pull the plastic away, I get a really clean edge, a line, it’s a form of drawing in my painting, that line particularly… In painting, it’s always where two colors meet that is so wonderful.”

His marks are made purposefully, attempting to avoid the expressionistic implications that can be associated to haphazardly applied brushstrokes.

Baker humbly describes his Richter-inspired style, “One of the things I like is pulling it with the knife, because I really actually love getting rid of the brush strokes. I’m not crazy about brush strokes. You know the brush stroke has become such a cliché in painting that I really just want to get rid of it in my own painting. I don’t think I have a particularly wonderful brush stroke where some painters, think of De Kooning, had the most gorgeous way with a brush.”

Continually referencing other painters, it is clear Baker engages in a dialogue with art history when he paints. “You can get latched onto another painter and the influence is overwhelming sometimes…

Appropriation is a totally legitimate thing. You can’t get sued by the painter, but you might get derided by everyone else,” he warns. Cautiously, Baker picks and chooses what to take and what to leave behind, creating a unique body of work that has a comfortable familiarity coupled with exciting new breath.

Currently in negotiations for a summer show at Jane Deering Gallery, Baker will be sure to impress with his next exhibition. You can see his painting up now in the Arts Fund group exhibit, South County Sampler, curated by Nancy Gifford, or stop by the next open studio night in Carpinteria to get a sneak peek of what he’s working on next.

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

29

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

CALLING ALL EXHIBITORS & VOLUNTEERS!

Y F A E D S

TIVAL

EARTH

30 |

APRIL 16-17, 2016 SBEARTHDAY.ORG

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

E’S NOTE by Elliana Westmacott Elliana Westmacott was born and raised in Santa Barbara. She is 10. She loves to play the piano and soccer. Skiing, swimming in the ocean, reading, and visiting her Nana’s house are some of her favorite things to do. Her family and her dog George make her happy. So does writing.

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

Animal House

31

BEAR HUGS

M

HOPPING INTO SPRING

eet Bear, a sweet five year old with a gentle disposition. He hails from Los Olivos, so he is a true local. You would never know it from his smiling face, but he is going through treatment for Lymphoma.

Luckily, he is doing well. Let’s all send some healing vibes to this happy-go-lucky pup!

To see your pet in ANIMAL HOUSE/Pet of the Week, email a photo, name of pet and owners, and some fun facts to megan@santabarbarasentinel.com

I loved feeding this bunny some lunch.

H

ave you ever seen a stranded dog or cat on the street? Or what about a stray bunny? I love bunnies, especially the spotted ones; they’re so sweet and soft! For this column, I got to go visit the BUNS shelter bunnies and feed them carrots. I also learned a lot about how we can help these cute creatures.

The name BUNS stands for Bunnies Urgently Needing Shelter. It is so sad how these animals are left alone and stranded, and it’s nice to know that BUNS is there to rescue them. We saw

lots of bunnies in hutches and pens, and some of them are even able to freely hop around. BUNS also cares for guinea pigs, which are kept in the same shelter as the bunnies. I would recommend that you look at their website to see the Bunny and Guinea Pig of the Month if you are thinking of adopting.

While we were at BUNS, we met volunteers Gean and Terry. Gean stated that there are 30-40 bunnies at the shelter right now. If you’re interested in volunteering and are wondering what

The Doughty sisters doing good deeds.

MEDICARE SUPPLEMENTS OR HEALTH INSURANCE We Are Your Best Choice

 Over 50 Plans available  VIP Concierge Customer Service  Local office since 1984  On-Off Exchange Plans

Call Today! 805-683-3636 No fees for our services, same premiums, the choice is simple! www.sbhealthins.com | CA LIC #0773817

Follow the Rabbit Road to BUNS.

the volunteers do, they get to hold and pet the bunnies, feed them, clean their cages, and most importantly love them.

They actually have a job for petting and loving them.

We also ran into two sisters, Paige and Josie Doughty. They have been volunteering for BUNS for three years now. They looked like they really loved the guinea pigs as they were feeding them lettuce and petting them in their arms.

The BUNS program started in 1992, and it has grown so much since the first three bunnies that they started with. I met pretty much all of the bunnies and got to go around feeding them carrots.

I ran into one named Lily who loves to eat, surprisingly, bananas! I also ran into siblings that started to fight over the carrots I was giving them. Maybe bunnies aren’t much different from my

sister and me.

It’s not a coincidence that I visited the BUNS program right before Easter.

Many kids will wake up Easter morning and find that the Easter bunny hid eggs all over their yards. Maybe what you’ll do for Easter is go adopt a bunny, or possibly the Easter bunny will bring you one himself! Who knows?

Happy Spring, Elli

ELLI’S P.S.

If you want to visit the BUNS shelter, it is attached to the Santa Barbara County Animal Shelter at 5473 Overpass Road.

They are open Monday through Friday from 9 am - 4:45 pm and Saturday from 10 am – 4 am. You can call them at (805) 683-0521 and also read the website for many more details about their program: www.bunssb.org

SOPHIE’S FRENCH MAIDS 25% DISCOUNT FOR 1st TIME CLIENTS

move-in & move out spring cleaning or maintenance visits AFFORDABLE-LICENSED • BONDED-INSURED ENGLISH/FRENCH SPEAKING • WEEKLY /BI WEEKLY

LOCALLY OWNED & OPERATED SINCE 1990

CALL FOR A FREE ESTIMATE @ 805 451 1291 OR 805 563 7439

32 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

IHeart SB

BY Elizabeth Rose

I Heart SB is a social experiment in dating and relationships through stories shared with and experienced by a thirty-something living in the Greater Santa Barbara area. All stories herein are based on actual events. Some names, places, and timelines have been altered to preserve anonymity and, most of all, for your reading enjoyment. Submit stories (maximum 700 words) to letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

              

           

HIGHLY CLASSIFIED PART 2

“Maybe we can use the money and take ourselves out for a drink.” Unbeknownst to my wife, I was planning a date with another woman. The strange thing is, I didn’t feel guilty at all. It just felt right.

“D

on’t stay up too late,” she said as she blew me a kiss from the office doorway. “I’ll be there in a minute,” I replied. My eyes followed her as she walked down the hallway to our bedroom. I felt ashamed for feeling no remorse for putting myself out there to another woman, but the excitement of getting away with something I knew I shouldn’t was thrilling. Making myself available outside my marriage was definitely the greatest endeavor I’ve made. Once she was out of sight, I logged back into my email account to read the email.

Subject: Re: Craigslist – Let’s Meet I adjusted in my seat to get more comfortable before diving further to the other side. She began, “Hi! It’s nice to hear from you. This is also my first time on the classifieds and your email came off as the most genuine. Is it strange to feel that we already have a connection?” Not at all. I felt it too.

I emailed back and suggested we meet at Nectar, formerly Blue Agave. It was a restaurant my wife was reluctant to try, which aided in my decision. A message from her the next morning confirmed our date would happen the following Tuesday. An odd day to go out. A perfect time for a liaison. With no description of who to look for, she told me to email once I got there. She would remain a mystery until the last minute. My anticipation further grew.

A few days later, it was time to get ready for the date. I told my wife I was meeting the boys for a quick poker game. She told me she had dinner plans at a friend’s house. Everything was going smoothly. As I took a hot shower, my mind raced with what the woman would look like, sound like, smell like. Not knowing was one of the most seductive parts of this affair.

After a quick shave, I scrubbed the last of the shampoo out of my hair, shut off the water, dried myself, and went

into the bedroom to change. My wife stood over the vanity, putting the final touches on her makeup and dabbing on her signature scent of gardenia oil.

She was wearing the red dress I always loved on her. “You look nice,” I said.

“Well, it’s her birthday and there will be lots of pictures. I wanted to step it up, social media and all.” Women, I thought. We kissed goodbye and I finished dressing. I patted on some cologne and grabbed a sports coat from the closet. I took one last look in the mirror and headed out.

Twenty minutes later, I found myself standing in the doorway of Nectar. I adjusted my coat, straightened my shirt, and took a brief pause before pulling out my phone to write the email. Here we go. “Hi! It’s me. Where are you sitting?” She responded in seconds.

“Hi! I’m on the first floor, the last booth on the left.” I entered the dimly lit restaurant and walked in that direction.

As I approached the booth, I noticed a hint of red fabric hanging over the seat facing towards the wall. I slowed my pace as I noticed the familiar smell of gardenia oil getting stronger with each step. Before I knew it, we were face to face. My wife was just as startled as I was. “How... how could we?” she said.

My heart sank to my feet. Tears welled in her eyes and mine, making it hard to see. I sat down beside her in the booth and we embraced, trembling and scared and not wanting to let go. The warmth of her breath and wetness of her tears against my neck brought me to reality of what we had almost done. For a few moments, the silence was enough.

Eventually, we pulled away. I wiped away a tear from her cheek and she did the same to me. “I guess we need to talk,” I uttered. “Yeah,” she replied.

With much needed relief, she laughed through tears, “This was not what I had in mind when I mentioned we should take ourselves out for a drink.”

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

     

18+ 8+ Only

g t n i ime r p s

Text ‘SBTOYS’ to 24-587 for a 20% discount!

refresh your love

Shop from your pphone and save 15%

33

34 |

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

SYVSNAPSHOT

by Eva Van Prooyen Keeping a finger on the pulse of the Santa Ynez Valley: what to eat, where to go, who to meet, and what to drink. Pretty much everything and anything situated between the Santa Ynez and San Rafael Mountains that could tickle one’s interest.

THE JUICY LIFE

T

he Juicy Life Juicery owner, Kimberly Zimmerman, was born and raised in Lompoc.

Her boutique juice company complements her work as a health coach, yoga teacher, lecturer, and wellness program teacher and trainer.

After graduating from Cabrillo High School in Lompoc, Kimberly says she went to UC Riverside on a full-ride soccer scholarship, obtaining a business degree, and graduating with honors.

“From there I worked in Orange County, marketing for a corporate coupon company. That was where I started yoga,” says Kimberly recalling, “there was one woman in the office, who was the only easy going, bright, Kimberly Zimmerman wants to keep the Central Coast healthy clear-skinned, kind-to-everyone person. I asked her, ‘what are you on and how do I make that happen?’ because I was unhappy in that position. She took me to my first hot yoga class, and for $20 I took 20 consecutive days of hot yoga.” By the end of those 20 days, Kimberly says she was transformed and knew she had to make a change.

“I left that job and started working for a raw food company, I got my yoga certificate, started teaching, and helped the raw food company launch into wholesale.

I learned a lot – especially about vibrant nutrition and what eating organic food in its natural form could do for our bodies.

“I was approached by one of my clients to distribute food for them, and in the process they wanted someone to design their menu and get their juice bar up and running. That was my first experience getting a juice company off the ground.”

Kimberly says that role landed her a job with Bank of America. “I did a juice bar in their La Brea corporate office, and I believe that manager got an award for introducing healthy options to the café.” From there Kimberly reports she attended the Institute of Integrated Nutrition and trained to become a Holistic Health Coach.

“I worked with clients one-on-one after that, lectured for different corporations on health and wellness, and I started my own juice company – servicing a boutique gym in Huntington Beach. From there, I moved back to the Valley. That was almost four years ago,” says Kimberly.

As a health coach and yoga teacher, Kimberly reports she was part of the “opening team” for CorePower Yoga, and helped them open their Costa Mesa, Tustin, and Irvine locations.

“When I moved back, the only gig I had was teaching for the Santa Barbara CorePower franchise, so I jumped on the opportunity.” Kimberly now teaches at Platinum Performance in Buellton, at Bloom Yoga in Solvang, and says she works closely with Santa Ynez’s vacation rental community, teaching privately at vacation, ranch, and vineyard rentals.

A few years ago, The Juicy Life Juicery became the newest addition to Kimberly’s yoga, coaching, and wellness programs. “My juices are seasonal, local, and organic.

It is a boutique juice company where we make small batches of fresh pressed juice based on what is available,” says Kimberly explaining, “when we eat seasonally and locally, those foods are what are best aligned for our bodies. Nature’s intelligence is working all around us and that lets us be in our optimal health.”

Focusing on maintaining a minimum carbon footprint, Kimberly uses glass jars, promotes Harvest Santa Barbara, which sources and features different small local farms, and composts most of her leftover plant matter – even sending some to Midland school for their projects.

“The juices are sold at the Valley Grind coffee house in Santa Ynez, and I have a pick-up fridge that works on the honor system,” says Kimberly, explaining she presses juice every Monday, menus are posted that night on Facebook and Instagram, and are available Tuesday morning at Valley Grind every week.

“I categorize the juices by colors; one, it’s pretty and we eat with our eyes and two, it allows for easy ordering and gives people a chance to eat the entire rainbow,” says Kimberly noting she accepts special orders and fridge pick-up requests via social media messaging.

Current fresh juice highlights include “Black Juice, Red Velvet Milk, and Green Drinks,” says Kimberly adding, “the Black Juice is our best selling. It is coconut water, activated charcoal, lemons, herbs, and spices. The activated coconut charcoal water acts as a sponge in our system. The gunk in our body is absorbed by the charcoal and purged out. A lot of people like it for hangovers.

The Red Velvet Milk tastes like chocolate milk and has a pink color from beets.

Before Red Velvet cakes were dyed with chemicals the cake was made with beet juice. We use the same process, and our milks are made from cashews, almonds, or pecans.”

“My Cabrillo high school senior project was with [winemaker] Bruno Alfonzo when he was with Sanford winery. I learned a lot about beverage making and I think of making juice like an art as a chef or winemaker would,” says Kimberly adding, “The paper I wrote to get into business school was about wanting to come back to the Valley and opening a restaurant. I wanted to showcase the amazing fruits, vegetables, and foods in the Central Coast that feed and nourish the people and a community that had nourished me growing up.

For more information visit www.thejuicylifejuicery.com or www.juicylifecoach. com. Find The Juicy Life on Facebook and Instagram.

EVA’S TOP FAVES:

My personal picks, best bets, hot tips, save the dates, and things not to miss!

GUIDED TOURS AT LA PURISIMA MISSION a Purisima Mission State Historic Park is the most extensively restored mission in the state. Hosting over 200,000 visitors each year to explore California’s heritage, the restored original buildings, visitor’s center, exhibit hall, grounds, livestock, and 25 miles of hiking trails nestled in the nearly 2,000 acres. Self-guided tour maps are available for $1 at the entrance station, visitor center and the mission gift shop.

When: Every day except major holidays. Open 9 am to 5 pm, tours begin at 1 pm and last a little over an hour.

Where: La Purisima Mission, 2295 Purisima Road in Lompoc Cost: Free tours and admission. $6 parking fee.

Info: (805) 733-3713 www.lapurisimamission.org

L

NURTURING PLANTS AND PEOPLE verything Edible plant sale is Growing Grounds Farm’s annual spring celebration of edible plants. Featuring nearly 40 varieties of heirloom tomatoes, veggies, specialty herbs, gourmet lettuces, eggplants, sweet and hot peppers, and selected fruiting plants for sale to home gardeners. Growing Grounds provides paid employment and therapeutic horticulture to individuals living with mental illness.

When: Saturday, April 2 at 10 am and Sunday, April 3 at 3 pm Where: Growing Grounds Farm, 820 West Foster Road in Santa Maria Info: www.growinggroundsfarm.org

E

FIG MOUNTAIN WILDFLOWER LOOP t’s that time of year where an awe-inspiring bloom of wildflowers carpet Figueroa Mountain in our Los Padres National Forest. Forest Service Ranger Helen Tarbet says visitors can gaze upon masses of popcorn flowers, blue dicks, buttercups, fiddlenecks, Johnny jump-ups, fiesta flowers, miner’s lettuce, a few sky lupine, wild onion, Chinese houses, shooting stars, fillaree, royal lupine, lomatium, coreopsis, wallflowers, prickly phlox, and of course poppies! Make a nice long wildflower loop by leaving Los Olivos on Figueroa Mountain Road, passing by Michael Jackson’s former Neverland Ranch, enjoying a diversity of wildflowers in small pockets and huge swaths of sloping hillsides, then turn southward on Happy Canyon, through the live oak spotted countryside as the road delivers you back into Santa Ynez.

When: Now Where: Figueroa Mountain Info: www.fs.usda.gov/main/lpnf/home

I

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

25 MARCH – 8 APRIL | 2016 |

SANTA YNEZ VALLEY...Come For The Wine…Stay For The Shopping

Atmosphere Atelier

Comfortable Luxury for the home

wendy foster LOS OLIVOS FINE WOMEN’S APPAREL wendyfoster.com

www.insidesyv.com

2928 SAN MARCOS AVENUE InsIde

the

1603 Copenhagen Drive 805.686.4358

santa Ynez ValleY MagazIne

LOS OLIVOS

805.686.0110

WInter 2014/15

3

WWW.ATMOSPHEREATELIER.COM

35

