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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

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Content

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Lanny’s Take – Peabody Stadium has been quite the site for graduations and sporting events, and Lanny Ebenstein details its pending renovations The Bi-weekly Capitalist – Jeff Harding takes serious look at the border, immigration, and Donald Trump’s controversial approach Beer Guy – This time, Zach Rosen is more like the Beer Bard, tapping into the maiden Shakes’Beer Festival at the SB Historical Museum

Zoo Review – Megan Waldrep proves she’s koala-fied to flamingle with animals at the Santa Barbara Zoo. Want to become a keeper for a day, or feed the giraffes and penguins? “Toucan” play that game.

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State Street Scribe – Old age is a gift, yes. Unfortunately your gnarled, arthritic claws will struggle for days just undoing the bow. There is another way.

Real Estate Snapshot – Kelly Mahan pays tribute to fellow realtor Gary Woods, who passed away in August; she also spotlights a trio of enticing homes on the market

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Man About Town – Mark Léisuré reviews Jerry Douglas’s recent SB performance, provides updates on choreographer Adam Barruch, BrightStar Live, and Comedy Improv, and previews the fall arts season

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The Local – Megan Waldrep sums it all up with 5 Things about Dr. Lynn Jones, Animal House’s featured dog Gertie, Nutbelly in Carp, peeks into the musical minds of The Caverns, and – as always – is On the Spot

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Up Close – Santa Barbara Central Library’s preschool Storytime opens its doors like a book, and Jacquelyn De Longe gets an in-depth read

Food File – Christina Enoch takes her raging appetite to the Funk Zone, where Courtney Ladin, the chef of urban bistro Nuance, is cookin’ good

Plan B – Briana Westmacott gets her kicks when it comes to kids’ soccer, as her daughters try to bend it like Beckham while juggling other activities

Girl About Town – Julie Bifano reflects on attending the Zoo Orleans Zoofari Ball, where she caught up with Nancy McToldridge and Dean Noble

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SY Valley Snapshot – Entertaining events abound around Santa Ynez Valley, and Eva Van Prooyen has ‘em covered – from Nashville Nights in Solvang to the Penning Association’s contest and a fashion statement in Los Olivos

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Lannys take

by Lanny Ebenstein

is president of the Santa Barbara Center for Public Policy SBHS Stadium

Renovation on Way.

Makeover Will Make Stadium Stronger than Ever

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eabody Stadium at Santa Barbara High School is as close to hallowed ground as there is in Santa Barbara. Perhaps 35,000 local students over the years have taken the walk “down the hill” into Peabody Stadium in graduation ceremonies that are typically watched by thousands of family members, friends, and educators. There is no doubt that, for being a site of transition and transformation – where young people leave one stage of their lives and move into the next, whether this consists of college, technical training, or work – Peabody Stadium has served this purpose well for almost a century.

But more than high school graduation, Peabody Stadium is a focus of athletic and sporting events, some of which – particularly football games in the fall – draw thousands. Peabody Stadium is one of the leading landmarks in Santa Barbara.

It is for this reason appropriate that the Santa Barbara Board of Education, under the leadership of superintendent Dave Cash, has voted to expend some remaining bond funds toward the renovation and reconstruction of Peabody Stadium. The new stadium will, even more, become the heart of the community.

Also signaling the effort to reconstruct Peabody Stadium are community capital campaign chair Greg Tebbe (‘81), SBHS principal John Becchio, and Foundation for Santa Barbara High School director Katie Jacobs. All told, the new stadium will cost more than $12 million. About $5 million will be raised from private contributions.

The new stadium will retain main features of the existing one, but it will be moved back, toward Olive Street, so that there will no longer be a gap and relatively unsafe area behind and underneath the bleachers to the back hillside. This will also allow enlargement of the existing stadium proper, apart from the bleachers, and increase track and field opportunities. The new-and-improved stadium and bleachers will more so be a one-of-a-kind venue than the existing stadium, donated

by Santa Barbara School Board president Frederick Forrest Peabody.

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Superintendent Cash has said of the stadium project: “Santa Barbara High School is the flagship school in our district. This is possibly the most important project we will do in the next hundred years.” There will be a new eight-lane synthetic track and shot-put and discus areas. The existing visitors’ stands will remain, but the entire Peabody Stadium grandstand will be rebuilt. The new concrete grandstand will seat 2,300 and be centered on the 50-yardline. There will be a new overlook and ADAcompliant walkway. The style and feel of the original grandstand will be retained.

Original projections called for about $5 million of funding from remaining Measure Q2010 funds, about $2.8 million from the State of California for seismic mitigation, and about $5 million in private funds raised through the Foundation for Santa Barbara High School. However, it is likely that costs of the project will be more than originally anticipated.

Gloria Cavallero (‘72), SBHS Alumni Association president, writes in a recent letter to alumni: “Think back to your time at SBHS and especially the time we all spent in Peabody Stadium – Friday nights under the lights cheering for the Dons football and soccer teams, spring Track and Field meets, Cross Country finishes, Pep Rallies, Halloween carnivals, Band and Donette performances, and walking down the hill into Peabody Stadium at graduation.” There is much life that has been experienced in Peabody Stadium for almost a century. Its renovation and replacement are something that this generation can do for future generations.

Santa Barbara High School is one of the oldest high schools in California, having opened in 1875. The school has served the community, state, and nation in times of peace and war, and it has many illustrious alumni. It is one of the leading predecessor institutions of both Santa Barbara City College and UCSB. An early SBHS principal said of Mr. Peabody: “No man building his own home for his own comfort and for the happiness of his family and friends could have put more thought and care into its building than did Mr. Peabody into our high school.”

The original Peabody Stadium was dedicated on Thanksgiving Day, 1924. Mr. Peabody presented a check for $100,000 (now equivalent to more than $10 million) to a crowd of students in the new stadium. The students responded with a cheer: “Mr. Peabody, rah, rah, rah, Mr. Peabody!”

The existing Peabody Stadium has served the community well for more than 90 years, but it is time for a renewed stadium for future generations. Further information may be obtained at www.foundationforSBHS.org.

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

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Bi-Weekly Capitalist

by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding is a real estate investor and a writer on economics and finance. He is the former publisher of the Daily Capitalist, a popular economics blog. He is also an adjunct professor at SBCC.

Is Trump Right That Immigration is Bad for America?

T

his is a really difficult topic to discuss, especially now when the political volume is turned up so high. But it’s at the top of the list, thanks to Donald Trump.

If we are going to have a debate on immigration, then it should be based on facts and reason, not myths and prejudices. I’ll try to dispel some of these misconceptions.

Bashing Immigrants

Bashing immigrants is not a new phenomenon in American politics.

It goes back almost to our beginning as a nation. With every wave of immigrants, the same issues were raised: they take away jobs, they flood our social infrastructure (schools, medical care, and welfare), they bring crime, they bring disease, and they’ll change America.

The Mexicans Surge

I am aware of the many other Hispanic immigrants here, but it’s (mostly) Mexicans who are the targets thanks to Trump, so that’s what I will focus on.

Mexican immigration took off around 1990. According to Pew Research Center as of 2012 (last Census available data), there were more than 11 million people

here born in Mexico. About 5.9 million are undocumented (unauthorized, illegal, whatever word you wish to use).

So, let’s examine the complaints that we hear most about Mexican immigrants.

Immigrants Cause Crime

According to Trump, “Mexico” is sending us its worst people, and they are a bunch of criminals and are a blight on America.

Here’s where the data get tricky.

Each side can skew data showing that immigrants, especially undocumented immigrants, either are or are not disproportionately committing crimes. And by “crimes,” let’s talk about real crimes, not the one where they walk across the border without documentation.

According to the Center for Immigration Studies, a group advocating stricter immigration controls, after doing an exhaustive study on crime statistics from all sources, concluded: “… [W]e find that it would be a mistake to assume that immigrants as a group are more prone to crime than other groups, or that they should be viewed with more suspicion than others.

Even though immigrant incarceration

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rates are high in some populations, there is no clear evidence that immigrants commit crimes at higher or lower rates than others.”

There is one statistic, though, that I think is relevant. According to the FBI from 1990 (the beginning of the surge of Mexican immigration) to 2013, violent crimes in America have decreased by 48 percent. One would have thought that if there is a correlation between Mexican immigration and crime that crimes would have gone up, not down.

Why is that? Because most immigrants, Mexican or others, come here to make a better life, to work hard, to get ahead, not to commit crimes.

Trump is dead wrong on this issue.

the word “welfare”, many assume that those taking it are lazy, unemployed folks taking advantage of America’s lax welfare system. That is false. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2014, immigrants had a higher employment rate (94.4 percent) than native-born Americans (93.5 percent).

If I were a poor immigrant, legal or undocumented, with no resources other than my low-paying, long-hours job, I would try to take advantage of whatever program I could to help myself and my family. The fault, if any, is that these programs exist and some immigrants are eligible to take them. So do nativeborn Americans. Who is at fault here?

The program or the users of programs?

Welfare Burden

They Take Jobs from Americans

The above-mentioned Center for Immigration Studies (CIS) published a widely circulated study that showed 51 percent of all immigrants and 73 percent of Mexican and Central American immigrants use some form of welfare program.

I examined their data carefully and concluded that it is not as simple as that.

The problem with the CIS data is that (a) it doesn’t separate undocumented immigrants from legal immigrants, and (b) it doesn’t separate Americanborn children or spouses of immigrant households. This bias skews their data, because citizens are eligible for welfare programs and undocumented immigrants aren’t. If you are a legal immigrant and pay taxes, you can access Medicaid; undocumented immigrants can’t. What this means is that by combining citizens who have a right to welfare with undocumented and legal immigrants, the data present an inaccurate picture of how many immigrants, legal or otherwise, use some form of welfare.

The Cato Institute has done a lot of research in this area as well, and it concludes that a fair apples-to-apples comparison of poor native-born Americans to immigrants reveals that immigrants take less welfare by value per capita than native-born Americans.

They also conclude that immigrants are 37-percent less likely to enroll in welfare programs than native-born Americans.

And let’s define what they mean by “welfare.” The most widely used “welfare” programs that immigrants use are school lunch programs and Medicare.

Only legal immigrants can get Medicare; undocumented immigrants can’t.

School lunch programs are available to all students. In other words, other than school lunches, undocumented immigrants are excluded from most welfare programs.

The other thing is that when you use

You hear from anti-immigration folks that immigrants take jobs away from Americans. This is one of the biggest falsehoods about immigration. The other fallacy is that they are a drag on the economy, taking more than they contribute.

First, there isn’t a fixed number of jobs where if one takes a job, another loses.

Jobs are constantly being created and destroyed by businesses; it’s the nature of a competitive free market. Since the big surge of Mexican immigrants beginning in 1990, jobs have increased, not decreased. Since 1990 U.S. inflationadjusted GDP, a measure of economic productivity, has doubled. Which means, despite the influx of 12 million Mexican immigrants, and despite three recessions, the economy has expanded at roughly the same rate of growth as before the surge.

Another statistic is the unemployment rate. This rate is a bit complicated, because it goes up and down with the economy’s business cycles. But from 1992, when the unemployment rate peaked at 7.5 percent (a result of a recession) to 2000, unemployment declined to 4 percent. That shows that in periods of economic growth and during the period of the greatest surge of Mexican immigration, there were enough jobs for all and immigration had no negative impact on employment.

The Benefits of Immigration

Critics only want to see one side of the issue, and they fail to account for the contributions that Mexican immigrants make to the economy. It’s what economists refer to as the seen and the unseen. Critics like Trump would have us believe that Mexicans only commit crimes, sponge off welfare, and steal jobs from Americans. They refuse to see the positives.

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Positive Economic Growth Economists will tell you that population growth means economic growth. If that weren’t the case, then the growth of our population by 123 million people in the past 50 years would have made us all poorer. That isn’t the case. As I mentioned above, GDP grew even during the “surge” of Mexican immigration.

Immigrants, like everyone else, earn money and spend it – creating demand for apartments, food, clothing, restaurants, and cell phones. That creates jobs and growth. Immigrants are also entrepreneurial: they start businesses at twice the rate of native-born Americans (Kaufman Foundation study). Another report showed that one in 10 Mexican immigrants start their own businesses.

Entrepreneurs create jobs.

It is not as if there are no costs from a large, poor immigrant population. But studies are all over the board on the impact of immigrants on government budgets. A Cato study came to the conclusion that the fiscal impact on government budgets was minimal, maybe 1 percent at most, but the economic benefits of immigration far outweighed the impact.

Americans Won’t Do Their Work Mexican immigrants take

jobs

that native-born Americans won’t.

The most recent proof of this was Alabama’s ill-fated ban on undocumented immigrant labor in 2011. The goal of this ban was to create job opportunities for citizens. As a result, most undocumented Hispanic immigrants fled the state, leaving farmers and fish processors high and dry, resulting in major economic

Bashing immigrants is not a new phenomenon in American politics. It goes back almost to our beginning as a nation.

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Immigrants Pay Taxes Mexican immigrants pay income taxes through paycheck withholding requirements. They pay sales taxes by buying goods. They pay property taxes by renting housing.

They also pay into Social Security.

Even undocumented immigrants with fake documents pay into Social Security, even though they won’t receive benefits on retirements. A 2013 report by the Social Security Administration found that in 2010 there was approximately $10 billion in “unmatched” payments into their “suspense file.” Let’s face it, we need immigrants with higher birth rates to help fund Social Security. Without them, the system will go broke even sooner. [See Japan and Europe.]

Trump and Anti-Immigration losses. Employers tried to attract local native-born workers, but they didn’t like the hard work or the pay. As one employer said, foreign competition keeps wages for these industries low because American consumers won’t pay more. Who benefits from cheap immigrant labor? Immigrant workers who earn money, employers who make profits, and consumers who benefit from lower prices.

I read Trump’s position paper on immigration. It is based on sloppy research, and it is full of falsehoods, exaggeration, pandering, crass innuendo, and errors. Every assertion he makes is wrong. He even went so far to say that he would deport all 11 million undocumented immigrants.

He is demagoging this issue because it propels him in the polls.

Trump’s racist policies would be a disaster for America. While one may be

willing to excuse a certain amount of hyperbole during a political campaign, he advocates policies that would destroy the economy, destroy families, and empower a police state to enforce it.

There is a segment of America who wishes to hear Trump’s message. If you believe they are only Republicans, you would be seriously naïve. He has tapped into a segment of Americans, Republican, Democrat, and Independent who are deeply dissatisfied with the direction of our country. While it would be easy to label many of them as racist, I believe it is more complex.

There will always be people who are dissatisfied with their lives and society and wish to blame others for it. Perhaps this group is greater in number than we thought. Trump has shown us that many of them believe immigrants are to blame. This is not new in America, but it is wrong.

Instead of being harmed by immigration, all of us have benefited from it. Only a fool or a demagogue would fail to see this. It saddens me to see Trump taken seriously as a candidate for America’s highest office. This is not a plea for open borders, but rather a plea for a rational, fact-based view of immigration and compassion for immigrants in our presence.

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by Zach Rosen

First Annual Shakes’Beer Festival at SB Historical Museum

L

ive theater has always mesmerized me. Theater brings a real, rawness to the story that just can’t be accomplished with cinema. That being said, I do have to admit that I do not go out to the theater as often as I would like, probably because there isn’t enough beer there. So, when the SB Hustlers came to me with the idea of Shakes’Beer, I was hooked instantaneously.

The SB Hustlers for Peace and Prosperity promote positive social change through volunteering and community involvement, and since their formation about a year and a half ago, they have grown to almost 600 people. The SB Hustlers have helped provide volunteers at many of the events I have worked on including Fermentation Festival, SOL Food Festival, to even my own, Hoptopia, which is when we originally met. I accepted the project and recruited the newly retired San Marcos High School drama teacher of more than 30 years, David Holmes. After months of preparing, we are pleased to announce the 1st Annual Shakes’Beer Festival at the Santa Barbara Historical Museum.

The event will be Friday, September 18, from 6 to 10 pm.

The Shakes’Beer Festival

David has spent countless hours putting together a brilliant script that

weaves its way through Shakespeare’s works. The script combines scenes, monologues, and individual lines to create a fun selection. The performers will be using the natural setting of the museum and its antique courtyards, acting out scenes on five different stages.

The performances will be split up by beer breaks where guests will get to fill their glass, grab some food, and listen to the band Waters Rising.

The music will help guide guests. The musicians will take the stage alongside choreographer Cecily Stewart and her ensemble from State Street Ballet. Together, they will perform an interpretation of the iconic “Dance of the Knights” by Sergei Prokofiev that will end with Romeo and Juliet, played

by Josh Jenkins and Marisol Miller Wave respectively, meeting among the dancers.

David, the SB Hustlers, and myself joined brewLAB few weeks back to brew Romeo’s beer. Romeo describes Juliet’s presence as a “rich jewel in Ethiop’s ear,” and so we wanted to capture the bright pearl in his eye. We designed and brewed a beer that blended a red saison with a lost ale style called purl, also known as wormwood ale. The beer was brewed with wormwood, licorice root, and orange peel, and has a hint of roasted chocolate and dark fruit that gives it a dignified quality. The orange

Local.LIBATIONS ISLAND BREWING COMPANY’S BLONDE ALE

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sland Brewing Co.’s Blonde Ale is a bright and bubbly Kolsch. A touch of sulfur and a grassy aroma are typical for this German style. Island’s version uses wheat and specialty malts to give it a full character and fresh fruitiness that match well with any time or mood.

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Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

peel connects the Romeo beer with the Juliet beer. Rincon Brewery is preparing a special keg of their Belgian IPA with Falconer’s Flight hops, orange peel, hibiscus, and vanilla beans. The hibiscus will add a floral tartness that blends with the vanilla to complement the elegance of this fair, young lady.

Other Characterful Beers

The evening will also include scenes from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. One of the most memorable scenes in the play is when the fairy Queen Titania, played by Erika Petra, wakes up in a flower bed and falls in love with the rustic player, Nick Bottom, played

by Phil Gould, whose head has been transformed by the fairy Puck, played

by Ken Volok, into that of a donkey’s.

For Queen Titania, Figueroa Mountain Brewing Co. has prepped casks of their fruit-forward Lizard’s Mouth Double IPA with Dragon Fruit, jasmine, and cardamom. This flowery, soft-bodied cask ale will be paired up with a cask of Island Brewing Co.’s Paradise Pale Ale with dandelion blossoms, wildflower honey, and Meyer Lemons. The exotic, strong Queen Titania beer contrasts with the airy and bright flavors of Nick Bottom. One of the notable themes in this play is the concept of confused time. To play with the idea of time, casks ales are contrasted with the long-term aging of Montecito Peak Barleywine Aged in French Oak Bordeaux Barrels from Pure Order Brewing Co. that will resemble the fairy king, Oberon, played

by TJ Brown.

Playing with the Themes

There are other beers throughout the evening that will reflect the themes within a play. Much Ado About Nothing is known for its deception scenes wherein the characters convince proud bachelor Benedick and the hard-headed Beatrice, played by Lael Wageneck and Marisol Miller Wave, respectively, that they are in love with one another. For these scenes, there will be two deceptive beers.

Captain Fatty’s Brewery has brewed a Black Witbier with chamomile, citrus, white pepper, and honeysuckle that captures the deception of the sharp-

tongued Beatrice, and for Benedick’s robust personality, Dan Reyes of CARP Homebrewers has constructed a Blonde Stout with Cacao Nibs and coffee.

Dan also brewed the beer for one of Shakespeare’s most beloved characters, Falstaff. This notorious drunk and liar will be played by Stuart Orenstein. To play with the idea of Falstaff’s inflated ego, Dan brewed an Imperial Mild Ale. The beer had to be light as an English Mild but also strong and boozy. Falstaff was originally from the Henry IV plays and was so popular that Shakespeare was commissioned to write a Falstaffcentric play, which became The Merry Wives of Windsor. To capture the plot and character of the wives, played

by Deborah Cristobal and Jennifer Ernest-Nassar, CARP homebrewer Les Drake brewed a Scotch and Scottish ale using a parti-gyle brewing technique.

Parti-gyle brewing is where the same grain is used to produce two different beers. The first produced is strong and then more water is put on the used grain to produce a second, weaker beer.

Approachable Shakespeare

Over the past few months, I have had the opportunity to become more acquainted with some of Shakespeare’s works. David has done an incredible job putting together a script that is fun and approachable and is not intimidating.

Our hope is that this event will inspire audience members to become more familiar with Shakespeare’s plays. I was sitting in on rehearsals where the actors Leslie Story and Phil Gould were playing Kate and Petruchio, respectively, from Taming of the Shrew.

This part of the script I was familiar with, and I had yet to see the courting scene acted out. Even being unfamiliar with the lines, I was enamored with the scene and could easily follow the plot. As Leslie and Phil threw each other (and stools) around the stage, we all laughed and the players had to break character, reminding us that they were just acting. This fiery scene will be captured by Telegraph Brewing Co.’s White Ale with pineapple, ginger, and scotch bonnet.

Tickets are limited, and this occasion will sell out beforehand. Visit SBHustlers.org for more information and tickets.

Shakes’Beer is not regular theater. It is not your normal beer festival. The audience will get lost in Romeo and Juliet’s love, enchanted by the magic of A Midsummer Summer Night’s Dream, laugh at the shenanigans of Falstaff and more – all while drinking brews made just for this one unprecedented evening of theater and beer.

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

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ZOOREVIEW

Meet Me at the Zoo

H

is long tongue was stretched in front of me.

I was nervous.

What if I do it wrong? This is my first time, after all.

Michael’s gentle demeanor told me he had done this a time or two. I inhaled sharply and just did it. In seconds, he was eating out of the palm of my hand.

Sighing relief, I went for it again. And it was just as great as the first time.

The giraffe feeding at the Santa Barbara Zoo is just one of several “Must Do’s”.

You can watch every documentary and nature show, but there’s something about the moment you are this close to an animal that clicks. It’s an absolutely real “aha” moment. The goal at the Santa Barbara Zoo is to recreate those “aha” moments for as many visitors as possible, and the zookeepers do it with conservation, animal welfare, and education as their main components. And the best part is, every person who walks through the gates is contributing to the prosperity of animals locally and beyond.

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MEET MICHAEL

Risdon’s Auto Care 516 Palm Avenue, Carpinteria • (805) 684-6730 Mon-Fri: 8 am to 5 pm • (Lunch break 1 to 2 pm) Closed Sat and Sun • www.risdonsauto.com Michael, a Masai giraffe, hails from Parc Safari in Quebec, Canada. He is considered North America’s most genetically valuable male Masai giraffe (way to go, buddy!). He’s sired at least four calves at the zoo since his arrival in December 2011.

The Santa Barbara Botanic Garden

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Some would argue zoos hurt rather than help animals. In truth, if it weren’t for the zoos, many species would struggle to survive – or worse, become extinct. The California condors would be gone, and island foxes wouldn’t be in the position they are now. Much of the husbandry work was based on research and effort done at the Santa Barbara Zoo, not the park service as one might think. The intent of Rich Block, Santa Barbara Zoo’s CEO of 17 years, has been to use the zoo as an organizing base to ignite inspiration, interest, and compassion to connect with nature.

“That’s our opportunity, to come in and reintroduce people to something that is an innate part of who we are.”

He describes the role of the animals as being to build a bridge to get people actively engaged. To naysayers, Block says, “Come in and see what we do.”

The private, non-profit organization relies on ticket sales, donations, and fundraising events to keep going.

(There is no government assistance forthcoming.) A portion of ticket and membership fees goes to the field conservation fund of local endangered or threatened species. This means they are able to mobilize a lot of people to help animals in need. For example, when federal agencies such as the Fish and Wildlife Service need partners for California condors, the zoo is able to step up and help. When the forest or park service needed partners for Channel Island foxes – either for lack of expertise or manpower – the Santa Barbara Zoo was there.

Con-Dorks Are Real

A self-proclaimed “Con-dork,” Rich says, “the feather in our cap for conservation programs” is the California

MEET LUCKY

Lucky, a Humboldt penguin, had a problem with his foot bone. Surgery not an option, the zoo found a community partner in footwear company Teva.

Its design team made him a special shoe so he can go about his days, enjoying a normal penguin life. (photo

by Tony Luna) condor exhibit. It’s extremely rare to have a California condor exhibit and the SB Zoo was the second accredited organization in the country to build one. (There are now four: Los Angeles, San Diego, Oregon, and Mexico City.)

Once there were only 22 California condors; there are now 480-plus, with more than half of them flying in the wild. Careful genetic interpretation and management of the program created reasonably stable genetic diversity.

The genes of the original 22 birds are represented now among the 480-plus.

The zoo is involved with the field study ...continued p.19

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

STATE STREET SCRIBE

by Jeff Wing

Jeff is a journalist, raconteur, autodidact, and polysyllable enthusiast. A long-time resident of SB, he takes great delight in chronicling the lesser known facets of this gaudy jewel by the sea. Jeff can be reached at jeffwingg@gmail.com

Growing Older in the Grace of Life’s Received Wisdom. Option Two: Skinny Jeans

I

occupy a very particular demographic; balding 50-somethings who don’t know how awful they look in skinny jeans.

We are many. It’s nearly an epidemic. A teary woman in the Macy’s parking lot shakily pointed her finger at me and used the word “plague,” which I thought was going a bit far. And for the record, I’m not truly oblivious. I have occasional fleeting doubts about the way my ass looks in these skinny jeans. I swat these misgivings away like the meaningless little gnats they are. I have a righteous ass and I’m working these jeans, baby! Zig-zagzig! [snaps his fingers in that triumphant Z shape that the youngsters use.] As you can see, I am firmly ensconced is this selfdeluding demographic.

We aren’t hard to spot. We look like 17-year-olds who, in act two of a heartsqueezing two-billion-dollar Steven Spielberg parable, miraculously age 40 years in a seamless CGI moment, enlarging and sagging and swelling distastefully into youthful attire that is suddenly ageinappropriate and disturbing. Woo hoo!

You’ve seen us walking casually about the downtown area, animatedly gabbing and gesturing, parting the pedestrian traffic as surely as would a mob of lipless zombies staggering up the main drag with their arms extended. People stare. Can we throw cold water onto a sunny Saturday?

You betcha. Strutting around in our illfitting get-ups, we stir in the previously happy-go-lucky crowds an indefinable dread.

Some lovely weekend morning, you may be quietly reveling at a sidewalk café, sipping your expertly prepared cappuccino in full sun, that first dose of caffeine infusing your bloodstream with warmth and gladness – life is marvelous!

Not so fast. Here I come in my skinny jeans. Tremblingly put that cup of coffee down, relax your smile, and take a browfurrowing hour to review your own life in the sudden shadow cast by my

skinny jeans. “Things that remind you jarringly of your mortality” might be a good category with which to launch your internal conversation. You’re welcome, and happy Saturday!

We skinny-jeans oldsters are not only about finger-snapping to Petula Clark and slowly lurching into the middle of the room to do that awful ballroom dance swirl whenever any music of any kind plays anywhere. Growing older does make one ruminative, which is an oldentimes word for “looking at my iPhone.”

Many are the occasions I’ve been sitting on public transportation, the other passengers’ eyes riveted by the rivets on my straining skinny jeans, wondering if and when they will structurally fail and come flying off my tormented pants in a stinging cloud of ballistic copper. As they glare in fear at my skinny jeans, I am daydreaming in my bus seat, staring into space, ruminating on my own reckless youth, my evolving narrative arc, and the manifold rewards of growing older.

The bus will slowly negotiate a turn, and a bolt of beautiful unfiltered sunshine will slant in and bathe the heavily crosshatched backs of my spotted hands, hands like chemically burned leather, and I’ll be moved to speak aloud in the sonorous voice of a poet. “Starring Vincent Price as The Abominable Doctor Phibes.”

As I stare at the backs of my withered hands, I know the other passengers are smiling warmly and exchanging glances of endearment, because they don’t know that Doctor Phibes was a hideous 1970s movie ghoul with a mouth in the side of his neck.

The phenomenon of otherwise dignified, life-informed older persons dressing like college freshmen – it’s taking the world by storm! California may just be the epicenter of this shift in the tectonic plates of Graceful Aging.

Sociologists have been brought into the picture, but their papers and journals and

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peer-reviewed jibber-jabber have failed to answer this fundamental question; what the hell am I thinking? Is it some sort of diabolical glass-curvature technology which, in the Tilly’s fitting room, causes a 50-something to stare approvingly at a reflected image made lithe by ocular science and profound self-deception?

I can tell you from personal experience that simply walking into a Tilly’s fitting room at my age raises red flags, flags which are soon accompanied by signal flares as I loudly grunt and holler my way into apparel that no loving God should allow his creation to witness on a bag of ham such as myself. On exiting the fitting room, it’s not uncommon to find a commotion that I’ve only recently realized has me at its center.

On one occasion, I flung the fitting room door open with a flourish, feeling

a waterfall. I snap out of my reverie and renew my loud struggle with the skinny jeans until security begins banging on the fitting room door.

Not that it matters but… for the record, I am not past my procreative prime, pilgrim. My hydraulics are in perfect working order. I am a fit specimen and use the V-pill only cosmetically; when I need a tighter fit for my skinny jeans, or when I plan to be passing through a dangerous neighborhood and want would-be assailants to think I’m carrying.

I must confess that one summer evening after too much Chablis, I recklessly tested my theory in a particularly rough part of town, popping a pill and strutting like a graying panther through the mean streets, my “weapon” in full relief, like a blackjack tucked into my waistband. “You want some of this, punks? Come and get it!”

I could try aging gracefully, like Linda Evans, say.

Or Liza Minnelli. But what’d be the point? powerfully attractive in my skinny jeans, and saw a family of four turn and run with such blind alarm they plowed down two racks of halter tops and a clipboard-clutching little sales associate in their panicked rush to escape. When the terrorized family hit the street, I was, unfortunately, hot on their heels, believing us to be fleeing a common enemy. When one of them turned and glimpsed me pounding along behind them – my middle-aged T-Rex arms held daintily aloft as I ran, my Older Gentleman ostrich legs prancing in their skinny jeans – well, the screams alerted me to the awful truth. So, yeah.

I could try aging gracefully, like Linda Evans, say. Or Liza Minnelli. But what’d be the point? I don’t want people to look at me and say “My, he’s aging gracefully.”

I’d rather they thought, “That previously dissolving older man has halted the very sands of the hourglass by squeezing into those blood-crushing skinny jeans.” I know what I’m doing, even if you don’t.

Then there are times I begin to wonder if my Western obsession with youth is completely facile. In those moments, I dwell upon the National Geographic bronze-age Amazonian jungle tribes who venerate their shriveled, speechless elders as wise sages, as repositories of life experience, treat them almost as gods.

Then the end of the program features the glorified village elder being helped along to the Next World on some sort of entrapping bamboo edifice, made to wear a bristly boar-hide diaper, fed a terrible broth with fingers floating in it, and finally slathered with ceremonial mud and pushed, uncomplaining, over

There were no takers, naturally. Thank you Pfizer.

As for me, why do I wear the skinny jeans? What is the point? The point is this: I have no intention of retiring to Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. Not for me – the daily cardigan, the fey-voiced conversations with choo-choo trains, and hand puppets. That time will surely come, as it must for all of us. While I can, though, I will fight that encroaching shadow world with all my strength, and in trousers that cleave like a fully inflated blood-pressure cuff. While I have my marbles, I will wear the armor of youth, prowl the streets with the insouciance of the ageless and brave. You see, I want my outside to reflect exactly how I feel on the inside – like a quantity of finely ground hamburger poured into a mold.

So, you wear your nutty kid clothes and backward hats and numbskull tattoos (is that what those skulls are called?) and I’ll adopt your skinny jeans. Deal? We get one crack at this soap opera. I’m not about to waste a minute wondering if my pants flatter me (they do, right?). As Sammy said, I Gotta Be Me! If I betray myself by not wearing these skinny jeans, I’ll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of my life. No regrets. Okay? Okay.

Now, take a page from my book as I’ve taken one from yours. Keep flying the flag, you dandified, acne-haunted Lilliputs. Keep wearing whatever the hell you want, and so will we. You guys have the right idea. Time is fleeting. Thanks for the jeans, and for setting the example, punks. I mean, thanks a million. Here’s looking at you, kids.

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

REAL ESTATE SNAPSHOT

by Kelly Mahan Kelly is a licensed realtor with the Calcagno & Hamilton team and Village Properties. She can be reached at Kelly@homesinsantabarbara.com or at 770-5050.

In Passing

F

ormer iterations of this column have focused on interpretations of monthly and yearly market statistics for real estate in Santa Barbara and beyond. Those statistics were compiled by a well-respected Santa Barbara realtor, Gary Woods, who always had an accurate grasp of market changes and generously shared his findings and knowledge with nearly every real estate office in our area. Sadly, Mr. Woods passed away suddenly on the morning of August 24, leaving behind his wife and business partner, Laury Woods. Mr. Woods, who was raised in Santa Barbara, was also a columnist for CASA Magazine for over a decade, and a treasured local musician, according to those closest to him. Our Calcagno & Hamilton team, as well as the Village Properties family, send our deepest condolences.

Three Santa Barbara Gems

Every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, droves of real estate agents and brokers spend their afternoons touring the newest real estate listings from Carpinteria to Goleta. Sometimes, we walk into a place, poke around a bit, and whisper among ourselves that this place will be gone immediately, given its location, its marketappropriate price point, its views, or some other “wow” factor that makes it a gem of a home. Sometimes houses ooze potential, and we as agents can see the possibilities from the moment we set foot inside. This week, I’ve picked three homes that are – lucky for potential buyers who read this column! – still available, despite their wow factors.

Manitou Lane

Located on a private lane in the Bel Air Knolls neighborhood – between Las Positas and the Mesa, near picturesque Elings Park – this one story, ranch style home at 1228 Manitou Lane sits high atop a bluff, offering panoramic views of the mountains and downtown Santa Barbara. The Sitting atop a bluff on a private lane, 1228 Manitou Lane will make property is roughly .60 of an you want to sit back, relax, and enjoy the views acre, with a large driveway and plenty of parking space, as well as an additional two-car covered carport and a two-car garage.

Built in 1960, the four-bedroom, two-bath home is spacious, airy, and functional, with the kitchen overlooking the park-like property, which also features an outdoor kitchen area with barbecue. “The home really incorporates outside living in a tranquil setting,” says Marcy Easter Eliassen, who with her mom Gloria Easter and sister Jennifer Easter (aka The Easter Team) represent the property. “The picturesque views are one of a kind,” Eliassen tells us, adding that the spacious master bedroom opens out onto the expansive patio.

The home is easily livable, and offers a master bedroom/master bath suite, three additional bedrooms and a bathroom, and several outdoor patios. Wood flooring in the expansive living room, a charming fireplace, new paint, and updated bathrooms are a few of the extras this property has. While it is certainly turnkey as is, it has the potential to become someone’s dream home, as the convenient location is close to both downtown and the Mesa.

The home, which went on the market about a month ago, has recently been reduced in price to $1,525,000. For more information and to check out more photos, visit www.easterteamrealtors.com.

Soledad Avenue

Off East De La Guerra Street, on the lower east side, there is a sweet little private cul-de-sac called Soledad Avenue, not to be confused with Soledad Street, which runs parallel to Milpas for close to eight blocks. The quiet cul-de-sac is home to about a dozen homes, including 822 Soledad Avenue, which was extensively remodeled in 2014.

Originally a farmhouse built in 1912, the home sits on a third of an acre, with historic oaks, fruit trees, and bougainvillea. The current owners lovingly restored and expanded the house last year, combining the heritage of the house with

contemporary living. The now 2,300-sq-ft home includes three bedrooms and three full bathrooms, an open floor plan with wrap-around porches in front and side, a large separate garage, and meandering drought-tolerant gardens in the backyard.

John Nuzzolillo, who represents the property, says An updated and remodeled farmhouse is for sale on Soledad rumor has it the original owner Avenue, a charming cul-de-sac on the lower east side lived on East Beach while the home was being built in 1912, and he could actually monitor its progress from the beach, since at that time there were only a few homes in the area. The current seller has added wood floors, a Rinnai tank-less water heater, and a thermostatically controlled ventilation system in the attic A light and airy kitchen is the center hub of the home, featuring high-end appliances, wood floors, subway tiles, and granite to help keep the house cool.

The light and bright kitchen counters features granite counters, a butcher block island, and top-end appliances. The owner kept portions of the main home intact, including the original fireplace, and some doors and windows, in an effort to keep the historic charm alive. The front bedroom would work well as a guest suite, as it opens out to the deck, and has an attached en-suite bath. This Santa Barbara gem is offered at $1,975,000.

Garden Street

Location, location, location!

Near the junction of Constance Avenue and Garden Street in the heart of Santa Barbara’s Upper East neighborhood, a 3,200-sq-ft, single-story home sits on over half of an acre, with ample space between neighboring homes.

In need of some TLC, the executive style residence at 2446 Garden Street, which was originally built for the Sanders Family in 1963, has not been Where Garden Street meets Constance Avenue, 2446 Garden Street sits well back from the street, making it private and quiet on the market since 1997. It features three large bedrooms, all with en-suite bathrooms, a large living room with original fireplace, a formal dining room, a cozy study with a wet bar area and fireplace, two half baths, and a large kitchen with dining area. Surrounded by some of our town’s grandest estates, this home would be perfect for someone looking for a single-level home on the Upper East, who wants to enjoy the charming decks, The home boasts a large eat-in kitchen, adjacent to a formal dining flagstone patios, gardens, and room sparkling pool, and doesn’t mind doing a little updating.

There is an ample driveway and extra-large garage on the property, which is bordered by beautiful stone walls, providing a sense of privacy and intimacy. “It’s truly an oasis in the city,” says Joanne Tacconelli, who is the listing agent for the property.

This property has been on the market since July; the price has recently been reduced to $2,125,000.

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way.

A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

Douglas, Man of Steel

L

et’s face it. The dobro really is a side instrument. In the hands of a lesser musician than Jerry Douglas, you’d be hard-pressed to sit through a 90-minute concert featuring solely the steel-plated resonating guitar. But Douglas – who in July performed at the Santa Barbara Bowl alongside Alison Krauss, where he received only a few minutes in the spotlight – proved himself worthy of our attention, not just with his musical mastery, but also through often-humorous tales and anecdotes about his long history in country and bluegrass, and the origins of the styles and songs he played.

Pity there wasn’t a larger crowd on hand to witness Douglas’s foray through his dobro mentors Josh Graves and Mike Auldridge, as he illustrated how their styles influenced his own playing.

Douglas even tried out his rarely heard vocals on a couple of offerings, most notably a sprightly cover of “Hey Joe” popularized by 1960s guitar icon Jimi Hendrix.

The night came to a close with an “encore” medley (in which Douglas didn’t actually leave the stage) mashing up Paul Simon’s “American Tune” and jazz composer/pianist/bandleader Chick Corea’s “Spain”. The latter will be appearing at the same venue on Tuesday, September 15, in a much-anticipated re-partnering with banjo-ist Bela Fleck.

It’s a pretty safe bet you don’t want to miss that one, either.

Barruch Toes the Line with Todd

The Lobero was also the site for a 1st Thursday “After Hours” gathering that featured a preview performance by the just-arrived choreographer Adam Barruch and company, the 2015 DANCEworks company-in-residence for the entire month of September.

Barruch, the Juilliard-trained former actor, will begin work on a dance theater interpretation of Stephen Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, one of the composer’s great

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masterworks.

I arrived only in time for the final piece of earlier company repertoire performed among onlookers surrounding the dancers on stage – and didn’t even catch the name of the work. But there was terrific interaction among the dancers, and lots of visual and movement imagery to capture attention and create curiosity. Outside of major touring companies sponsored

by UCSB Arts & Lectures, dance has always been something of a tough sell in Santa Barbara. If what Barruch and his dancers come up with over the next couple of weeks bears any resemblance to what I saw last Thursday, we’re in for a treat at the residency-closing performances September 25-26. Let’s hope the place is packed.

BrightStar Live Turns up the Heat

The mid-August chanting concert with Kundalini yoga master / SanskritNew Age songstress Snatam Kaur was a little too mellow for my taste. I prefer my kirtan more upbeat and movementinducing. Snatam’s radiant vocals were so pure they felt like liquid crystals, but the backing musicians – though masterful at their instruments – were a little too tepid to these ears. Still, the sense of communal connection and empathy was palpable, and the silence that followed each piece a rare thing to behold (I’d be just fine if there were a significant pause before applause at all musical events), affording an opportunity for the music and energetic vibes to linger beyond the moment. Eight hundred people sitting still in the stifling heat at the Marjorie Luke was something you can’t imagine without experiencing it.

Next up in BrightStar Live’s slate of devotional singers: Simrit, a haunting and hypnotic singer and practitioner and teacher of Kundalini and Naad yoga whose albums have topped world music charts, coming to the Center Stage Theater on October 25.

Ventura Humor Highway

Comedy Improv has enjoyed quite a revival ever since “Whose Line is it Anyway?” premiered on network television back in 1998. There’s a thriving scene here in Santa Barbara, but you’d never know it, as most of the workshops and performances happen pretty far off the radar. (The Santa Barbara Improv workshop has been going on for more than two decades; public performances happen every first Saturday of the month at the Unitarian Society adjacent to Alameda Park).

Down in Ventura, however, it’s a different story, as the Ventura Improv Company (VIC) has been staging weekend shows at their own theater for more than 20 years. Last weekend, they hosted their annual improv festival, featuring performance troupes from all over California and beyond. Highlights were too numerous to mention – and writing about specific vignettes seems off-base, as one of the attractions of improv is its impermanence – but suffice it to say that the audiences, which packed the small place for most of the two-a-day shows, were kept laughing heartily for most of the Labor Day weekend.

The festival is over, but the VIC’s own performances take place every Friday and Saturday night and never fail to thrill fans of the stuff that’s made up on the spot through suggestions from the audience. Check www.venturaimprov. com for details and tickets. Meanwhile, Tom Mueller, one of the VIC’s cofounders, migrates northward to teach the upcoming improv comedy class at the Plaza Playhouse in Carpinteria beginning Tuesday, September 15.

The eight-week series concludes with a public performance at the theater on November 13.

Autumnal Art

The thermometer doesn’t seem to want to dip below 80 degrees, even at night. But the calendar says it’s almost autumn, and for sure the fall arts season is already underway. Here are a few that are launching over the coming fortnight: ¡Viva el Arte de Santa Bárbara! presents Ballet Folklórico de Los Angeles at three area locales, including the Luke on Sunday night, September 13, all for free.... The Santa Barbara Music Club starts its free bi-monthly series of classical concerts with two solo recitals on Saturday, September 12 and 26, at its usual haunt of the Faulkner Gallery at the Santa Barbara Public Library.... Tales from the Tavern, at the Maverick Saloon in Santa Ynez, launches its new six-show series with a double-bill featuring Joe Crookston and Vonda Shepard on Wednesday, September 16. Classical and fingerstyle guitarists David Tanenbaum and Peppino D’Agostino inaugurate the Santa Barbara Museum of Art’s concert series on Thursday, September 17.

UCSB’s 2015-16 Arts & Lectures season gets underway with the return of New Orleans R&B master Trombone Shorty out at Campbell Hall on campus on Friday, September 18, the same night that Camerata Pacifica launches its 26th chamber music season at Hahn Hall in Montecito.

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

It’s Been a wild 2 Weeks

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st When was the la time you Zoo’d?

a r a b r a B a t n a S

Obsessed With:

FEELING FORTUNATE

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s if we weren’t obsessed with Rori’s Artisanal Creamery already, they had to go and do this. Offered on Locals Night (Mondays) at the Santa Barbara Public Market, Rori’s has created fortune cookies out of the beloved waffle cone crunch.

You can win “high-fives,” enjoy cupcakes, discounts, and free scoops, but having food you can play with is a prize in itself.

soups + salads + sandwiches p a n i n o re s t a u r a n t s. c o m

Tell us what else we need to see: megan@santabarbarasentinel.com Instagram: @santabarbarasentinel Always love to hear from you. Keep those emails coming.

ONTHESPOT:

ART WITH HEART

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rtists come in all shapes and the Alpha Resource Center’s goal is to promote creatives with developmental disabilities and let them shine through SlingShot, an art studio and gallery.

The artists – 34 total – have generated dedicated collectors through striking, well-priced artwork. Visitors are more than welcome, so stop by to snag some pieces for your collection.

SlingShot 220 West Canon Perdido, Santa Barbara Mon thru Fri: 8:30 am to 4:30 pm or by appointment September’s featured artist is Michelle Oliner.

For tours or information, contact Sue Dumm at (805) 770-3878 www.facebook.com/SlingShotArtForum

Rori’s Artisanal Creamery at the Santa Barbara Public Market 38 West Victoria Street, Space 103 • (805) 845-2223 Sun thru Thurs: 10 am to 10 pm • Fri thru Sat: 10 am to 11 pm rorisartisanalcreamery.com • sbpublicmarket.com

PANINO

ot only did we get a tour of our beautiful zoo, we discovered some pretty amazing people, places, and things along the way. SlingShot art studio and gallery is On The Spot, Water Wise teaches us how to test our toilets (yep), we’ve got a “new classic” gin and tonic recipe in Raising the Bar, we’re Obsessed With Rori’s new treat just for locals, and more!

Open for Lunch Daily Los Olivos (805) 688 9304

Santa Barbara (805) 963 3700

Goleta (805) 683 3670

Solvang (805) 688 0608

Montecito (805) 565 0137

Santa Ynez (805) 688 0213

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of nesting condors in the wild, right above Fillmore, California. California condors don’t build traditional nests, as do other birds. They lay a single egg on the floor of a boulder cavity or in a redwood tree. The zoo just debuted a live condor cam from one of the nests, which you can visit on its website, www.sbzoo.org.

“Enrichment” is another theme at the zoo, an activity to stimulate animals’ natural behaviors. Their environment changes every day. Case in point is the elephant territory. Each day, the keepers (four total) come in with a bobcat to move the logs around to change the environment. They also hang food and other items around the land. For the gorillas, different foods and scents are hidden in different areas to reflect how they would naturally hunt for it.

Keepers, nutritionists, veterinarians, and staff are in constant communication on the development and health of the animals. At peak summer, there are about 220 people on staff. During the year, there are 84 full-time and 30 parttime regular employees.

Close Encounters

The intimate experience is what sets the Santa Barbara zoo apart. With so many adventures to choose from, we’ve

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CALIFORNIA CONDOR

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PURPLE PIZZA EATER

Nutbelly

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nother home run from Nutbelly in Carpinteria, it’s time to chow down on garlic-roasted eggplant, savory beef marinara sauce, mozzarella and goat cheese topped with fresh basil. They call this “Purple Love”, and we are most definitely in love. And since it’s Nutbelly, your gluten-free, vegan, and vegetarian options are at your beck and call.

With the opening of California Trails on Earth Day 2009, the Santa Barbara Zoo became one of a handful of zoos to exhibit these highly endangered scavengers.

With wingspans topping 9 1/2 feet, they are the largest land bird in North America. picked a few highlights for you, the aforementioned giraffe feeding being one of them. The feeding is an ultimate

Nutbelly 915 Linden Avenue, Carpinteria • (805) 684-3354 Open 11 am – 9 pm • Closed Tuesdays www.nutbelly.com • Instagram: @Nutbelly_Pizza

experience for all ages; just check the website for the times, as they may vary (seeing babies Buttercup and Asha are a fun treat as well.)

If you really want a piece of the action, you can become a “Keeper for a Day.” Enjoy a full day as an honorary zookeeper, working with your bestloved animals, and assisting zookeepers

in caring for the animals with food preparation, enrichment activities, training animals, and cleaning. A dayin-the-life adventure, indeed. There are also “Behind-the-Scenes” guided tours that bring visitors into close contact with zookeepers, conservation education, and a closer view of the ...continued p.25

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

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UPCLOSE

by jacquelyn De Longe

Taking a closer look at the people, places, and things that make Santa Barbara so unique. This freelance writer’s credits include newspapers, magazines, and copywriting. When Jacquelyn is not writing, practicing Pilates or yoga, you can find her chasing her two kids and dogs around Santa Barbara. Contact Jacquelyn at www. delongewrites.com

THE NEW SANTA BARBARA LIBRARY

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t’s 10:30 on a Tuesday morning, an excited crowd gathers together cross-legged on the floor; knee to knee, shoulder to shoulder. They wiggle in their seats on soft blue carpet patterned with islands like the ones off our coast. The chatter grows interrupted by sporadic squeals of excitement as they await the scheduled spoken word performance.

Positioned with their backs to the entrance of the basement venue, the audience faces an empty chair illuminated by bright lights against the opposing wall. The sliding doors are pulled shut, and the close-knit crowd quiets as the show begins.

You’d think this was the setting of an underground pop-up by a poet or performance artist. A lone speaker reading from books – some classics with dramatic inflections and expressions – inviting participants to sing along and move their bodies to the rhythm, feeding their curious minds. But this isn’t a secret speak-easy

Susanne and daughters Skyla and Sienna love the newly renovated and expanded children’s library

or an invitation-only club, it’s actually the weekly Preschool Storytime at the Santa Barbara Central Library, a place where parents, grandparents, and caretakers gather to watch children light up from the

Save WaTer DUring DroUghT We have no Water To Waste • Automatic sprinkler systems are the #1 use of water in our city, adjust & check your system every month.

Lake Cachuma is at 21% of capacity

• It’s easy to switch from sprinklers to drip; this saves water, reduces runoff, & rebates may be available.

We are all in this together!

Call 564-5460 for a free Water Check Up. The City is here to help. WaterWiseSB.org

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Kim and daughter Eliza meet up with pals Jennie and Kai for Preschool Storytime

Christine Cunningham cuddles up with her boys, Benjamin and Henry, in one of the new cozy reading nooks

Multiple computer stations are available to help children develop technology skills

Francesca and Henry surround themselves with books from the expended children’s selection

magical world of literature.

Storyteller Mayra, a library employee for the past five years, has been leading Storytime at the Central location for over a year. Energized by the new basement expansion and designated reading room, she engages the children, theatrically reenacting tales through gesture and vocal pitch, welcoming crowd participation and remembering the names of her young fans. It is a gleeful scene that families return to week after week, instilling a love of books and story-telling in our youngest generation. Maya Angelou once said, “Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.”

It took six months of hard work and noisy construction for the children’s library in the downtown central location on Anapamu Street to complete its well-

deserved remodel. The stunning Italianatestyled, two-story building, originally built in 1924, got a major rehaul, especially the former 6,000-square-foot basement, used part for the adult literacy center and part for storage. The dark underused space has been remade to its full potential, transformed into a brightly lit window wrapped, bibliophilic youth fantasy.

Designed with kids and families in mind, this fresh room invites visitors to get comfortable and explore. The new space features crayon-colored window seats, plush and welcoming in the glow of the large windows. Crisp white walls, accented with vibrant green paint, are lined with bins of blocks and magnets and boxes puzzles.

Craft tables are complete with half-pint chairs. A row of kid friendly computers divides the space with doublewide benches giving children a chance to sit

With soft carpets to crawl on, the library is every kid’s favorite place to lounge and play

Linda and her daughters, Lilja and Sophia, are all smiles after a fun morning of dancing and storytelling

and learn together. Picture books, early reader fiction and non-fiction, and youth reference books line the standing shelves and surrounding walls, replenished with thousands of new reading material for curious young minds.

The empty room with the Channel Island carpet where morning Storytime took place is transformed into an afternoon tutorial center called “Homework Help”.

This free one-on-one study room is staffed with volunteers from UCSB undergrads to retired teachers lending a hand to young elementary students, helping them get ahead Monday through Thursday. Local resident Linda finds the new space ideal for her two small children to explore. “It is perfect down here. The kids are really contained and they can’t wander off. There is so much for them to do. It is a beautiful space.”

While the children’s expansion is by far the most exciting recent addition to the beautiful Central Library, the lower level move has brought some changes to the rest of the layout as well. Long gone are the days of finger-combing card catalogues, replaced by easy-touse computerized kiosks throughout the space. The new Adult Literacy Center has a private enclosed section (formerly the children’s area) to help adults gain reading skills they need. There is an improved tech center and more lounging areas on the first and second floors. A brand-new indoor eating area is framed by a bank of

windows opposite the county courthouse.

And check-out is effortless with automated self-serve stations near the main exit and downstairs in the children’s library.

For the last few weeks, the library has held a soft opening for the new space, but the great reveal is finally here. Gwen Wagy, Youth Services senior librarian, shared some of the opening event details.

The grand opening will be on Sunday, September 13, from noon to 4 pm. The ribbon cutting is at 12, and the library opens at 1. “There will be karaoke, a ventriloquist, and even Zoo to You (a wildlife sanctuary that engages and educates the public about their rescued animals). It will be exciting with music and refreshments and other surprises, too.”

The opening is just the start of the exciting events at the Central Library.

Almost every day, there will be free programs provided to the public such as Drop-In assistance classes for your mobile device (no need to wait at the Apple store anymore), and Computer Coaching classes (reservation encouraged). On their revamped website, download audiobooks, magazines, streaming videos, and digital comics all at no cost.

The library has changed a lot since I was a kid. No longer the dusty, shushed, lonesome cave of my youth. Today’s library is lively, fresh, full of book lovers, technical support, and community. And the only pass needed to get into this elite club is your library card.

SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

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POINT VIEW

SPONSORED BY:

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t Samy’s Camera, the employees use and understand the equipment they sell. If you want the best advice on camera gear, visit your only local camera shop in downtown Santa Barbara, where they match most online prices.

SAMY’S SERVICES INCLUDE: • Camera & Video Sales • Film Processing • Digital Printing • Metal Prints • Full Rental Facility • Pro Lighting • Audio Equipment • And Much More PHOTO INFO:

CAMERA - Canon EOS 5D MIII LENS - EF 70-200 f/2.8 IS EXPOSURE - 1/125 s @ f/11 ISO - 400 HANDHELD NATURAL LIGHT (morning) LOCATION - Horseshoe Bend, AZ PHOTOGRAPHER:

Natalie Rodriguez Samy’s Camera Film Dept Since 2014

© Natalie Rodriguez

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Samy’s Camera • 530 State St, Santa Barbara, CA 93101 • (805) 963-7269

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by Christina Enoch

GIRL POWER IN THE KITCHEN

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After years of working full time for an ad agency, Christina found her passion in cooking and food.

Now armed with her newfound title, “Culinary School Graduate Food Blogger,” she writes and shares her passion for food, cooking, restaurants, photography and food styling in her popular blog, black dog :: food blog. Christina’s a proud mommy of not one but two shelter dogs and lives here in Santa Barbara with her husband. She’s also an avid Polynesian dancer, beach lover, traveler, swimmer, snowboarder and most of all, a lover of anything edible and yummy. Check out her ramblings here and at www.blackdogfoodblog.com.

inventive drinks that evoke a “Wow!” Come out and experience the perfect mix of art, music, delicious food in ocean breeze. It’s such a bright spot, so I hope they keep that corner alive. Rock and roll, Chef Courtney!

Chef Courtney Ladin, one of many women who make burn-marked arms look uber-sexy

New, funky urban bistro

hat corner at Hotel Indigo. That spot that you “charge” yourself before you enter the Funk Zone for the big night. Yes, there had been a few restaurants occupying that corner past few years and they went down pretty fast, but the new funky, urban bistro known as Nuance appears to be doing fine. Many of my favorite places come and go, but that’s life; new and better ones come along.

New and better, indeed: chef Courtney Ladin is showing serious girl power in the kitchen. Her taste in funky decorations throughout the restaurant proves the California native adds a bold and creative flare to farm-to-table cuisine. Chef Courtney spent five years training in Hawaii, working

for award-winning chefs Cameron Lewark and Lee Hefter at Wolfgang Puck’s Spago restaurant. There is nothing wrong with a little bit of “island” touch.

House-made focaccia just out of the wood-fire oven is probably the best bread I ever had. It’s worth it. Pay attention to the specials. I ate carefully prepared pork belly, which melted in my mouth without being overly greasy.

Beignet with chili dark-chocolate dip: it was crispy, light, and airy – with some kick.

Nuance’s wine list is stocked with fantastic local choices, but don’t pass on the best cocktails in town. Mixologist/beverage manager George Piperis and his fabulous bartending staff makes hand-squeezed,

T

Watermelon tomato gazpacho

Nuance (inside Hotel Indigo) 119 State Street; (805) 845-0989

Salmon, cucumber, hass avocado, French breakfast radish, Persian lime vinaigrette

Wood-fired focaccia: fennel seed, dried Calabrian chili, extra virgin olive oil

The Obligatory Vodka drink: Vodka, fresh lemon, Texas grapefruit, rhubarb, Peychaud’s Bitters, seltzer

Your ONE STOP Shop!

Parts • Service • Spas 534 E. Haley (at Salsipuedes)

(805)963-4747

Village Pool Supply THE ULTIMATE IN SPA SALES AND POOL & SPA SERVICE AND REPAIR

Painkiller: pixie tangerine, fresh pineapple, Pusser’s Naval rum, house-made coconut crème, grated nutmeg

A Diving Bell: micro-climate mezcal, Plymouth gin, fresh lime, yuzu, caramelized pineapple, falernum cayenne

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

Local LIBATIONS THE OCTOPUS MERLOT

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rap your tentacles around a glass of the 2011 The Octopus Merlot. Classic leather and cedar notes are followed by hints of cherry cola and vanilla. Subtle entry of soft tannins complements the red fruit flavors and balanced acidity, ending with a classic Merlot finish.

BONUS: Mention the Sentinel and get 50 percent off this bottle!

Deep Sea Tasting Room 217 Suite G Stearns Wharf Santa Barbara Mon, Tues, Wed, Sun: noon-8 pm Thurs, Fri, Sat: noon-9 pm (805) 618-1185 conwayfamilywines.com

QUICK BITES E

vents by Rincon has thrown down parties all around SB. Now, they’re giving us a little something to throw down to our bellies. Even more fitting to our cover story, Events by Rincon is the prime catering service at the Santa Barbara Zoo. A portion of the catering fees go directly to support the zoo’s conservation efforts and development. Eat with pride.

HOMEMADE PB CUPS

Rincon’s Peanut Butter Cups Yields 30 Peanut Butter Cups here

Ingredients: Peanut Butter Cup Base: 10 Tbl. Butter 8 Cups Graham Crackers, crushed 4 Cups Powdered Sugar 5 Cups Peanut Butter

Directions:

Chocolate Topping: 2 Cups Butter, melted 8 Cups Chocolate Chips Photo: Michael and Anna Costa

Events by Rincon 3805 Santa Claus Lane, Carpinteria• (805) 566-9933 • www.eventsbyrincon.com

Fill a muffin pan with cupcake wrappers. Mix peanut butter and butter until well-blended. Mix Graham cracker crumbs and powder sugar in separate bowl. Combine peanut butter and Graham cracker mixtures. In your muffin pan, pack down peanut butter Graham cracker mixture until all the air is out. In a double boiler, melt chocolate chips, then add butter. Take off heat, and whip chocolate and butter until glossy. Spoon melted chocolate over Graham cracker bottom and place in freezer for 30 to 45 minutes.

Raising the Bar FAVORITE BARTENDERS AND SERIOUS COCKTAILS

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SPECIAL RECIPES FROM TALENTED CHEFS IN SB

f anyone can raise your bar to the next level, it’s Still – Elevate Your Ethanol (it’s even in the name!). Proprietor Jeremy Bohrer, selfproclaimed “bar geek,” has curated a cocktail museum of sorts, offering bitters, tools, and ingredients to make your cocktails sing. New items mixed with vintage antique bar essentials; you’ll find more than what you need in his sweet shop. He shares with us his go-to summer drink: garden-to-glass gin and tonics are where it’s at.

NEW CLASSIC GIN AND TONIC

Ingredients: 3/4 oz. 5 by 5 Tonic Syrup 2 oz. Gin Directions:

5 oz. Soda Water Basil or Cilantro

Pour tonic syrup in glass. Add gin. Stir. Top with soda water. Add Collins ice cube to high-ball glass. Garnish with cilantro or basil.

Still – Elevate Your Ethanol 37 East Ortega Street, Santa Barbara • (805) 883-1080 Instagram: @Still_805 • www.elevateyourethanol.com

WATERWISE

DEAR JOHN

I

s your toilet running? Then you better hurry up and catch it – before it gets worse! How? Simple. Just use a few drops of food coloring in the tank and leave it for 10 minutes– don’t flush. If color appears in the bowl, you’ll need to replace the rubber flapper. Test again to see if you got the job done. This and more watersaving suggestions can be found at www.

SantaBarbaraCA.gov/WaterWise.

WaterWise City of Santa Barbara 630 Garden Street, Santa Barbara (805) 564-5460 Santa BarbaraCA.gov/WaterWise

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CHILEAN FLAMINGO

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Animal House

MEET GOMA

GERTIE GOODNESS

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ince 8 weeks old, Gertie has been an affectionate little thing not only to her owners, Kimi and Gideon Cohn, but to patients at the Cancer Center in Santa Barbara. Kimiko recalls a story of Gertie visiting a patient and licking away his tears. Knowing this dog had a special gift, Gertie has since become a therapy pup through Love on a Leash. Now, age 10, she continues to care through house visits to formerly homeless vets. On her off time, she loves to walk along the Carpinteria Bluffs, sunbathe, and ride in cars.

A group of flamingos is called a “flamingle” – our new favorite word. The zoo’s flamingo flock has grown the old-fashioned way. In 2012, a record 15 chicks hatched, and five more joined the flamingle in 2013.

MEET CHADWICK

This handsome gent is the zoo’s only male lion.

Born in September 1998, Chadwick is an African lion who is considered “small” compared to other male lions (at 385 pounds!). His favorite food is raw meat juice frozen into cubes, which he licks on hot days. (photo by Sheri Horiszny)

Those eyes! Goma is a Western Lowland gorilla who likes to look at humans and babies through the glass window. The hairier gorilla of the bunch, he excels at using tools and has been spotted using leaves to scoop peanut butter off a toy. animals. The penguin feeding can be seen twice a day. The keepers give talks and answer questions. There are “close encounters” with various animals at the zoo, wherein animals (with keeper and staff supervision) roam around the park. Keeper talks happen up to five times a week, when personal stories of interactions in the wild are revealed.

There are overnights at the zoo, which offers camping trips to Big Sur and Yosemite. Imagine how thrilling it would be exploring nature with experts who can help you tune in to what you may have missed going on your own.

“The Audrey Hepburn of Zoos,” as proclaimed by Dean Noble, director of marketing, sums it up. A boutique experience with heart, the Santa Barbara Zoo is ready to expand your mind, open your heart, and get you back to nature, and all while helping animals prosper.

The Santa Barbara Zoo 500 Ninos Drive, Santa Barbara Main Line: (805) 962-5339 Info line: (805) 962-6310 zooinfo@sbzoo.org www.sbzoo.org

Join us for some warm Irish hospitality, authentic food and excellent pints.

$10 daily lunch menu featuring over 13 items.

18 E ORTEGA ST., SANTA BARBARA • 11:302:00AM EVERY DAY 805-568-0702 • www.dargans.com •

To see your pet in ANIMAL HOUSE/Pet of the Week, email a photo, name of pet and owners, and some fun facts to megan@santabarbarasentinel.com

PlantingRoots

by Frederique Lavoipierre Director of Education at Santa Barbara Botanic Garden

THE ROOT OF THE MATTER

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ecause roots are largely hidden from view, we tend to think of the aerial parts of plants as the most important part. But did you know that roots can extend two to seven times the width of the plant’s crown – far past the traditional “drip zone?” While anchoring roots can go deep, most roots are in the top layer of soil, where most nutrients are found. Root hairs, the only roots capable of absorbing water and nutrients, are a delicate extension of a single cell and invisible to the naked eye. Each only functions for a few days, before being replaced with a new root hair. A single two-foot-tall alfalfa plant can produce 14.3 billion root hairs! The surface area of roots far exceeds the surface area of leaves. Understanding how roots function, how to care for the soil, and how to irrigate will help your garden thrive!

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

DR. LYNN K. JONES, CERTIFIED PERSONAL AND EXECUTIVE COACH

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ith the turning of the season and the back-to-school rush on, it’s the perfect time for a visit with Dr. Lynn K. Jones, a certified personal and executive coach. (She has over 25 years of leadership experience under her belt.) In addition to coaching leaders – along with training and consulting for organizations on strategic and personal change – she is on the teaching faculty of the USC School of Social Work Virtual Academic Center. Want a little insight into a coach who cares about your life’s direction? Read on.

1. Zig Ziglar (the late American author, salesman, and motivational speaker) perfectly sums up my approach to coaching and to life: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

the

5 ThingsYouDidn’tKnowAbout: Q&A THE CAVERNS W

e heard about The Caverns through George Pendergast of Dishwalla (our last Q&A rock star), and when we clicked on a YouTube performance, we were blown away.

Formed through Pendergast’s Rockshop Academy, with Alyssa Davey on bass, Maxton Schulte on drums, and Sam Kulchin on guitar, each member contributes to vocals creating a tight bunch of musicians that need to be heard.

2. The “Dr.” in front of my name is for my doctorate in social welfare from the Wurzweiler School of Social Work, Yeshiva University. That is also where I received my master’s in social work.

3. I raise chickens in my yard.

4. I’m particularly proud of receiving the Soroptimist International Making a Difference for Women award as recognition for my lifetime commitment to women and girls.

5. Some may call it ironic, but technology has enhanced my personalized approach to coaching. The private “My Coaching Page” is accessible from all of a client’s digital devices, enabling my feedback and insight outside of appointments.

Dr. Lynn K. Jones (805) 448-7681 • lynn@lynnkjones.com • www.lynnkjones.com

Sublime Spaces

SHORELINE PARK

by Andy Wood

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ith a playground and barbecues, this is a place the whole family can enjoy. Open lawns mean dogs can run off leash. The beach is accessible from Torii Gate staircase at Shoreline itself. From the bluffs, whales, sailboats, the marina, the Channel Islands, and the Santa Ynez Mountains are clearly visible.

Shoreline is just a short walk from Santa Barbara City College on the edge of the Santa Barbara Mesa.

Shoreline Park Shoreline Drive, Santa Barbara (805) 564-5418

Q. What has been your most memorable performance?

A. Our most memorable was Rockshop Academy’s Rockstock II at Rancho Dos Pueblos, where we opened up for Rebelution and Iration.

It was one of the largest audiences we’ve played for, and the crowd’s response was so rewarding.

What is your favorite song to sing/play live and why?

One of our favorite songs to play live is CCR’s version of “I Heard It Through The Grapevine”.

We often extend it past eight minutes, and we all get to improvise and play off of each other. It sounds different every show and has been a set staple for a long time.

What would you like for people to know about you?

One of the questions we are asked at almost every performance is, “Why are you playing all these old rock songs? Did your parents show you this music?” The truth is, we discovered it on our own. This is the music that we connect with the most, as musicians as well as listeners... even before we picked up instruments. Modern music can be kind of lackluster, so sometimes you have to look back to find the good stuff.

And it’s amazing to us how timeless classic rock is. It holds up so well today, and that’s what really inspires us as players.

The Caverns Instagram: @TheCaverns Facebook: www.facebook.com/thecavern sofficial thecavernssb@gmail.com

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PLANB by Briana Westmacott

When Briana isn’t lecturing for her writing courses at UCSB and SBCC, she contributes to The Santa Barbara Skinny, Wake & Wander and Flutter Magazine. Along with her passion for writing and all things Santa Barbara, much of her time is spent multitasking through her days as a mother, wife, sister, want-to-be chef and travel junky.

Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability... usually.

GOING FOR THE GOAL

Look at how tough The Mean Green Fighting Machines are! I snapped this shot right after they finished practice with co-coach Hans Miller.

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e did this to ourselves; we are completely overbooked. Seven days (yep, every single day of the week) we have at least one practice or lesson or game. I used to take pride in the fact that we weren’t that family, but sadly this is our new reality.

There were tears when Elliana, my oldest daughter, begged and pleaded to join the gymnastics team. Big crocodile drops accompanied by days of moping.

We succumbed and signed her up for five-plus hours of gymnastics a week at Girls Inc. Then came the decision of how to fit in soccer.

I personally wanted to make her choose between soccer and gymnastics.

But again, the puppy-dog eyes came out and this time my husband caved. He fell so hard that he even agreed to cocoach the damn team, so that we could ensure that the soccer practices would not conflict with all of the gymnastics.

Overbooked is an understatement.

We also have Lila, our younger daughter, who plays AYSO soccer, too.

And to make things fair (the ultimate parental struggle), we let Lila pick a second activity. Before we truly knew the repercussions, we were signed up for softball. Fall ball is going to take place every Sunday (there goes our seventh day). When I look at the schedule blocks, I well up. It’s a nightmare. And I’m not even mentioning the piano lessons that we sandwich in there on Thursdays (see my Best Bet for more on that).

BEND IT LIKE A MEAN GREEN FIGHTING MACHINE

Last Saturday, catapulted the soccer season into play, and we ended up out at Girsh Park all day. Two soccer games split by a three-hour wait time and 90-degree heat made for a less than desirable plan.

But then something happened in the second quarter of the second game.

I was sweating, literally dripping, huddled under a beach umbrella for shade when I saw Elliana walking out to the goal box. My heart skipped a beat and I mouthed to my husband, “She’s going to be goalie?”

Her hands were swimming in the goalie gloves. Her Mean Green Fighting Machine jersey hung close to her knees, and the black soccer shorts ballooned around her lower body.

The whole first quarter had been dominated by the opposing team’s shots on the goal. They were appropriately named The Fast and the Furious, and our girls were shadowed by their blatant height (and more than likely age) difference.

Within minutes of Elliana being in the goal, there was a penalty shot. Yep, I watched as my peanut with gloved hands in the air and wrinkles of concern on her face stared down the Mia Hamm from The Fast and Furious team. I anxiously clapped and cheered from the sidelines, “No worries, Elli, just try your best to keep an eye on the ball.”

But I was worried, panicked as a matter of fact, as Hamm got perched

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and ready to fire one at my daughter.

The ref placed the ball on the ground and backed up for Hamm to let loose. I swear, I had tears bubbling up in my eyes.

My heart was racing. I could feel Elli’s nerves floating across the field. Hamm continued to launch the ball neatly into the back net of the goal. My four-foot doll never stood a chance at getting a hand on it. In a way, it was a good ending. Better than being blasted in the face. Disappointment momentarily veiled Elli… and then she shrugged it off. Without a tear or much of a frown, she picked up that ball and drop-kicked it back to the center of the field. Game on. I was clearly more shaken than her.

The Fast and Furious team beat us 4-1 (this is not bad considering they had at least four Mia Hamms in their line-up).

The Mean Green Fighting Machines never really did bend one into the net.

Our one goal was more of a goalie mishap by the other team, but we played with a ton of heart and sprinted all over that big field until the final whistle. It was a loss, but The Mean Green Fighting Machines were proud of themselves. They played hard, and they walked off the field holding their heads high.

That’s what it is all about. The determination. The sweat. The fear.

The hurt. Sometimes losing can teach a

27

bigger and better lesson than winning, because the most important thing is playing with pride and honor. As much as I complain about soccer, I’m actually happy it is back in our lives.

AYSO – All Your Saturdays are Over – this is the acronym I heard a parent coin a couple of years ago to go along with the soccer league’s name. I may have lost my Saturday morning hike with the dog or lingering cups of coffee on the couch, but I’ve gained something greater. It’s game time, people. We are going to throw our hearts, minds, and souls onto those grassy fields for the next few months, and you know what, I’m going to keep smiling about it all. This is the grit you just can’t get from anywhere else.

BRIANA’S BEST BET

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or the past six months, my girls have been taking piano lessons from a great guy named Gus. Gus Deter and his brother, Jake, run a music studio in SB where they teach kids of all ages all different kinds of instruments. My girls love Gus, and they are now able to plop down behind the keys of the piano and play tunes.

If you are looking for music lessons, be sure to contact Gus and his team at: www.detarmusic.com

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SEPTEMBER 12 – 26 | 2015

Local

the

is drawn to micro-fiction and is curby Julie Bifano MsrentlyBifano writing her first novel – The Grace Below.

She has a B.A. in English with an emphasis in writing from the University of San Francisco and a M.F.A. in Creative Writing, also from the University of San Francisco. More of Julie’s stories and poetry can be viewed on her website juliebifano.com.

ZOO ORLEANS

(left) Chad and Ginni Dreier with representing event sponsor Union Bank, George Leis joins Chris DeVries

Long-time major sponsor Doug Dreier gets together with Craig Case and zoo marketing director Dean Noble A congregation of gators: Rebecca Zamolo, Cristina Bentley, Jenna Reynolds, Matt Yoakum, and Simon Bentley

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had the opportunity to attend the 30th annual Zoo Orleans Zoofari Ball in August. The event featured a mass array of flamboyant, fabulous costumes and revelers: a giant bear, a congregation of alligators, Southern belles, wild safari

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prints, and loads of purple, green, and gold Mardi Gras masks and beads.

Walking up to the cocktail and appetizer area-turned-French Quarter paradise, I had a chance to chat with zoo director Nancy McToldridge, who described the event as a “Friend raiser,” a way to introduce and welcome new acquaintances to the zoo. She also mentioned how well-attended the affair was with a sold-out crowd of more than 600.

While indulging in some authentic shrimp and grits, I observed the glamorous raffle item-a two-year lease on a Lexus GS F-Sport, courtesy of DCH Lexus of Santa Barbara. Someone would be driving in style!

Leigh and Paul Cashman are ready to party NOLA style

The crispy fried macn-cheeseballs appetizer was a hit for attendees. Dean Noble, zoo marketing director, explained The Palace restaurant aided in consulting for the Creole and Cajun-inspired food, while Rincon Catering provided all the catering services. They kept me coming back for seconds.

I observed a faux-crab and crawfish boil set, with little crabs behind a glass façade. There were bright purple and green masks hanging from the trees, and the funky sounds of the band King Bee lingered in the distance. I was ready to hit the dance floor.

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Zoo director Nancy McToldridge having a ball with husband Ted McToldridge

JoAnn Rosa, Denni Anderson, Elissa Rubin, Helen Reid, and a friend show off their saxophone and horn, along with festive New Orleans attire

IHeart SB

Local

the

BY Elizabeth Rose

I Heart SB is a social experiment in dating and relationships through stories shared with and experienced by a thirty-something living in the Greater Santa Barbara area. All stories herein are based on actual events. Some names, places, and timelines have been altered to preserve anonymity and, most of all, for your reading enjoyment. Submit stories (maximum 700 words) to letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

HOW TO KEEP A LOVER, A.K.A. #YOLO

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ongratulations. You’ve found yourself in a situation that pretty much rules: having a lover. A lover equals obtaining sex on the regular (on your watch) without the baggage of a relationship. This is ideal for a woman playing the field to get her carnal needs met. It can be easy, if you play your cards right. Just remember to K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid!).

According to scientific evidence (read: women’s lifestyle magazines, a handful of female friends, and several Internet articles), professional, single women incur an increased sexual desire in their 30s. It makes sense if you think about it. At this point, the majority of women have accepted their bodies (work it), have become more confident (or just don’t give a rat’s ass anymore), and are able to use the gorgeous female form in the way nature intended. On the flip side, according to some, it’s our body’s way of preparing for procreation – being “sexually charged” during this time in life guides women in the direction of making babies. (Whoa.)

Most importantly, having a lover means you’ll learn a lot about your sexual self in the process. The bonus is having fun stories to tell your girlfriends over a sparkling wine tasting at Riverbench Winery on Anacapa Street.

The following is a guide that may help when procuring a lover. (Please interchange “him” with “her” as it applies to your situation.) This is not the “bible” of intentional-yet-casual sex, just a few tips to consider on your way to Loverville: 1. He must be sexy, preferably with an accent, and leaving town in a foreseeable future. English as a second language is ideal. Accents are hot (duh) and the fact that this interaction has an expiration date only makes it more inviting. Time is a tickin’ and so is your libido.

2. He will ask you out on a date.

Accept. This is the “interview” portion.

Scope him out and size him up. By the end of the date, you will know if he wins the grand prize of your time. But then...

3. The beach. The beach is basically foreplay since everyone is semi-naked

and getting tanner by the second. And since the majority of the SB population lives relatively close to shore, a quick visit to your house (and shower) isn’t too far off. The beach and bedroom are the preferable areas of recreation.

4. Do not introduce your lover to friends. What’s the point?

Most importantly, having a lover means you’ll learn a lot about your sexual self in the process 5. Do not, I repeat, do not take yourself off the market. You are very much in the game and this is a pretty safe way to date. You’re not sleeping around with everyone you go out with, just one person. You just happen to be having your cake and eating it, too.

(And cake is delicious.) This may sound a bit heartless, and that’s the point.

You’ve both agreed on this arrangement so you do not have to feel guilty. You just have to feel satisfied, sexually. Every time. Amen.

6. Have an extra toothbrush available.

This is essential, as morning breath is a gift from the Devil himself to sabotage a good stroll-down-memory-lane from last night’s tryst. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

It’s not all roses. A sacrifice you may make is interruptions in your normal sleep schedule. Your partner may toss and turn at night, and this may piss you off. Just breathe and realize this isn’t going to last forever (he does have a one-way ticket back to wherever he’s from). And that’s pretty much the only downfall to note.

So please, whatever you do, enjoy yourself and take advantage of the situation (safely, of course). You do not know if or when this may happen again. Every girl deserves this experience to write down in her single-life history book. How fun it will be to look back in years to come with a big, gratified smile knowing that you were young once and took advantage of your single-gal opportunities.

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SYVSNAPSHOT

by Eva Van Prooyen Keeping a finger on the pulse of the Santa Ynez Valley: what to eat, where to go, who to meet, and what to drink. Pretty much everything and anything situated between the Santa Ynez and San Rafael Mountains that could tickle one’s interest.

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usic lovers! Get ready for some toe tappin’, guitar strummin’, banjo pickin’, fast fiddlin’, and sweet croonin’ American Country music at Solvang Friendship House’s celebrated annual benefit concert – Nashville Nights on Saturday, September 26.

Solvang Friendship House (SFH) is a nonprofit corporation, founded in 1978 by Dr. Lou Netzer, a family practice doctor in the Santa Ynez Valley for 30 years. His vision was to create a home-like environment for the elderly who were frail but not needing service provided in a nursing home setting.

Nashville Nights was inspired by Marv and Art Green, who wanted to do something to Buellton’s Dylan Ortega, a Teen Star finalist, honor their grandmother, Anna Green, and will perform at Nashville Nights on Septemto thank and support Solvang Friendship ber 26 House. The first year, the concert hosted 150 guests who set up on the cul de sac of Friendship Lane. Today, the concert sells out every year to a crowd of over 700 at Solvang Theaterfest.

“The evening promises to be a magical night of music, stories, great food, fun, and a fabulous silent and live auction,” says Tammy Westwood, SFH executive director, adding, “Singers/songwriters will perform their original music under the Valley stars in an intimate, acoustic setting, which allows the audience to take a look inside their hearts and thought process behind writing their songs.”

Local country musicians and award-winning songwriters from Nashville include headliners: Marv Green, Leslie Satcher, David Lee Murphy, Wendell Mobley, Rivers Rutherford. Art Green Band is the opening act, and a special courtyard performance by Buellton’s own 16-year-old Dylan Ortega will get music lovers warmed up.

Dylan says he has always had a passion for music, preferably country. During the winter of 2013, Ortega auditioned for the popular television show The Voice.

He made it to the second round of call-back auditions, but unfortunately got strep throat and was unable to continue onto the show, “I was amazed I even made it to the call-back auditions” says Dylan.

Ortega moved onto Santa Barbara Teen Star singing competition and says, “Teen Star was one of the best things I ever did. I walked into the audition room, I was standing in front of the judges, and I still hadn’t picked what song I was going to sing. When the time came for me to sing, I opened my mouth and out came ‘Jesus Take the Wheel’. I do believe Jesus took the wheel that day, because later that night I was chosen as a Teen Star Finalist.”

Teen Star gave Dylan a major jumpstart and the publicity he needed. A Chumash descendent, Dylan, and other finalists landed spots on the covers of local publications, spots on KEYT Channel 3 and Samala Magazine – a Chumash community magazine. Dylan was crowned as one of the top four finalists and plans to audition for the competition again next year. “It has opened up many amazing doors,” says Dylan, reporting he has accomplished a lot in the first two years of his career: he has written three original songs, recorded and produced his own cover album, and created his own production label, and started his band called The Dylan Ortega Band.

Solvang Theaterfest is located at 420 2nd Street in Solvang. Proceeds go to Solvang Friendship House, providing residential care and senior day care to the elderly in the Santa Ynez Valley, specializing in Alzheimer’s disease care.

Gates open at 4:30 pm for a barbecue and Ortega’s performance. No outside food or drink will be allowed. Roundup: $75 includes reserved seating.

Chuckwagon: $115 includes preferred seating, barbecue, and two drink tickets.

Fandango: $175 includes VIP seating, barbecue, two drink tickets, and aftershow artist reception. For more information and to purchase tickets, visit www. nashvillenights.org. ...continued p.32

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...continued from p.30

Eva’s Top Faves:

My personal picks, best bets, hot tips, save the dates, and things not to miss!

Tough Enough to Wear Pink

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f you’re lucky enough to have grabbed this issue off the press, then throw on something pink, race to the Valley, and grab a seat on the Equestrian Center bleachers to watch the Santa Ynez-based Valley Penning Association’s (VPA) monthly sorting and penning competition. Twenty-five percent of all proceeds from September’s competition benefit The Cancer Center of Santa Barbara. Team Penning is a western equestrian sport that evolved from the common ranch work of separating cattle into pens for branding, doctoring, or transport, and the VPA is an organization of more than 150 members that compete fast-paced in team penning and team sorting during the spring, summer, and fall.

When: Saturday, September 12, at 4pm; Sunday, September 13 at 9 am Where: Santa Ynez Valley Equestrian Center, 195 North Refugio Road in Santa Ynez Info: www.syvpa.com

Buon Giorno Sunday!

I

’m pretty sure there was a collective “whoop” of celebration last week when SY Kitchen’s chef Luca Crestanelli announced they now serve an Italian-style brunch on Sundays. Items include: Sweet potato hash with Italian sausage, peppers, zucchini, and poached egg, prosciutto and melon, avocado toast with arugula, Parmigiano, whole-grain bread, poached egg, plus a selection of freshly squeezed juices and brunch-friendly cocktails. Don’t miss the bottomless effervescent glass of Prosecco and orange juice for $16!

When: Sundays from 10 am to 2 pm Where: S.Y. Kitchen, 1110 Faraday Street in Santa Ynez Cost: Breakfast plates priced $10 to $16 Info: www.sykitchen.com or call (805) 691-9794

Ditch the Drive and Catch a Ride to SYV

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lean Air Express has launched new service connecting Santa Barbara and Santa Ynez Valley. Wine country gallivanting, nook-and-cranny treasure hunting,

leisurely outdoor brunching, and the like await your arrival, and the fare is only $14 – round trip. The service operates a special run on Saturdays in both directions.

Valley stops include Solvang, Buellton, and Los Olivos. The Santa Barbara Air Pollution Control District created the Clean Air Express in 1991 as a way to improve regional air quality by reducing the number of commuters driving alone.

They boast annual passenger counts of 221,000 with over 22 million annual vehicle travel miles eliminated.

Where: Santa Barbara stops include La Cumbre, State/Alamar, Paseo Nuevo, and The Funk Zone Cost: $7/per person, one way Info: www.cleanairexpress.com

Artist Reception with Photographer Post

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he Artists Guild of Santa Ynez Valley is sponsoring a juried exhibition titled “Nature in Motion,” with various 2D media at the Wildling Art Museum. Two photographic entries by the Valley’s own Cynthia Post have been chosen and will be on through November 2. Join Cynthia at an artists’ reception to chat with her about her photographs: “Lunch on the Fly,” a hummingbird suspended in a dynamic mid-air meal and “Windblown Wild Oats,” sun-drenched wheat caught in a perfect breezy moment. In conjunction with Solvang’s Third Wednesday, admission to the museum and reception are free.

When: September 4 through November 2. Artists’ reception Wednesday, September 16, from 5 to 7 pm.

Where: Wildling Art Museum 1511-B Mission Drive, Solvang Cost: Free on Wednesday, September 16; otherwise general admission is $5 per visitor Info: www.wildlingmuseum.org

High-Fashion Soho, London Boutique in Los Olivos

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intage and new, high-fashion designer threads from the likes of Vivienne Westwood, Alexander McQueen, John Galliano, Jean Paul Gaultier, Dior, Dolce & Gabbana, Versace, and Roberto Cavalli poured down the runway earlier this month at Rockin’ the Runway fashion show fundraiser for Arts Outreach at a super-secret stylish location only ticket holders were privy to – near Los Olivos.

After years in the fashion industry in Europe and Tokyo, along with a career as a working actress/director, British-born Sue Turner-Cray brings her fun, rock and roll, funky, chic aesthetic, to The Style Junction in Los Olivos. Dig through her collection, visit her Facebook page, and look for her once a month Friday night “Shopping and Champers”.

Where: 2963 Grand Avenue in Los Olivos When: Open Wednesday and Thursday 11 am to 5 pm, and Friday and Saturday 11 am to 6 pm Info: www.facebook.com/ThestyleJunction

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CINEMA SCOPE

by James Luksic A longtime writer, editor and film critic, James has worked

nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his eighth state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast, you can find James writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

Get Serious

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espite its ho-hum title, The Walk’s trailer is one of the year’s most enticing; Robert Zemeckis chronicles French high-wire artist Philippe Petit’s 1974 bid to walk a tightrope between the erstwhile Twin Towers. The camera angles alone could justify the 3-D or Imax price of admission. Time will soon tell whether Joseph Gordon-Levitt can handle the central role (and a foreign accent) with the same moxie demonstrated in his own Don Jon two years ago.

Pawn Sacrifice, referenced here recently, deserves additional mention amid this disappointing September. Can the true tale of chess grandmaster Bobby Fischer be parlayed into a stimulating motion picture? Edward Zick has typically been an ambitious, fundamentally sound filmmaker – often creating good-never-great works (Blood Diamond, Legends of the Fall) – but Sacrifice could prove to be his pinnacle.

Until those come along, here are abridgments of sights and sounds already seen and heard:

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expect from a script ensconced in a hazy shade of sex and drugs. Even so, for a story that’s insubstantial on the surface, the upshot is oddly appealing and uncommonly well-acted.

Mistress Misfires

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ach year, there’s one movie – usually a comedy – upon which most critics heap praise that leaves me unimpressed and scratching my head. (Previous examples: Clueless, The Hangover, and Shakespeare in Love.) This time, that dubious crown goes to Mistress America, with fingers pointed at the pair responsible for its breakdown: director Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale) and his co-writer and star, Greta Gerwig – a formidable duo, circa 2012, when crafting the perceptive and genial Frances Ha. It’s tempting to blame America’s demise strictly on Gerwig, no thanks to her unnatural, insufferable, and scale-tipping turn as the Big Apple-based go-getter. But then, Baumbach should have reined in the comedienne while advising her to dial it down. If he was striving to become the cinema’s next Woody Allen (by setting up a romantic-comedy in Manhattan), perhaps Baumbach should’ve focused on co-star Lola Kirke as the lonely college student who, in essence, gets trampled and dwarfed

by Gerwig. Much of the production – which weighs in at a willowy 85 minutes – feels staged (as if it belongs on Broadway), self-congratulatory, and stuffed with posturing: While visiting an adversary who allegedly stole her felines, the heroine notices them and barks, “Are those my cats??” with less authenticity than would Milli Vanilli.

Walk on the Wild Side

I

t isn’t as if one could have particularly high hopes for director Ken Kwapis (The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Big Miracle) shaping Bill Bryson’s best-seller A Walk in the Woods. But expectations grow – naturally, if you will – when Robert Redford gets enlisted to portray the peripatetic author, Emma Thompson enrolls as his wife, and Nick Nolte volunteers as his long-lost Iowa buddy who joins our hero for an exhausting journey on the Appalachian Trail. (The narrative begins in Bryson’s home state of New Hampshire; the actual hike commences in Georgia, with Maine as the would-be finish line.)

As penned by William Holderman, portions of the titular trek wind up on a conventional route to Sitcom Central, foaming at the mouth with lewdness, but avoid any dead ends. Nolte, his voice sounding as haggard as he appears, surprisingly comes across better-suited for these conditions than his handsome counterpart. To be clear, Woods won’t be confused with last year’s serious-minded Wild; this picture thrives on wisecracks while wobbling and wheezing, not unlike its aging co-stars.

Smells Like Teen Spirit

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he Diary of a Teenage Girl, founded on Phoebe Gloeckner’s autobiographical novel that I haven’t read if only because of its title, spotlights a precocious 15-year-old (Bel Powley, all of 23) whose sexual crusade starts with her mom’s beau (Alexander Skarsgård).

As the unwitting mother, Kristen Wiig cooks up meals less-appetizing than advice about her daughter’s sexuality. (“You have a kind of power... you just don’t know it yet.”)

Although writer-director Marielle Heller churns out scenes with confidence, imagination, and savvy, the movie isn’t without its minor letdowns and blurs – the type viewers would

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