
4 minute read
Mom Squad – Tips to finding mom friends
When we first moved to our house, I was pregnant and working full time. Although the neighborhood was filled with moms, I never had time for more than a hello wave. When my daughter was born, it was too cold to stroll outside for a chance meeting and I felt silly approaching doors unannounced. Once spring arrived, I tried to put myself out there, but responses were less than enthusiastic. I didn’t think making friends as an adult would be so difficult. Here is what I’ve learned about finding mom friends.
Make the first move. It may sound intimidating, but it is that easy. If you are enjoying small talk with a mom on the playground or sidelines of a game, exchange contact information. Suggest a stop for ice cream on the way home to continue the conversation. If there is a connection, invite her for a playdate with the kids or out for a glass of wine.
Join social networking platforms. Facebook has a variety of mom groups specific to interests and neighborhoods. I found my current bunco group after reading someone’s post who wanted to start playing again. If you are looking for a running buddy, book club or your favorite TV series watch party, put yourself out there with a post asking if anyone else is interested in joining.
Meetup is another online way to find people in your area with common goals or passions, creating opportunities to gather with others who have shared interests.
Go where other moms go. Take the children to places or events like MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), Mommy and Me classes, story time at the library or swim lessons. Moms can be found on school committees and during afterschool activities. When you get there, introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. You never know who will be your next (or first) best friend.
Find groups of like-minded people through gyms, volunteer opportunities, themed events or churches. While it is nice to have friends who have children the same age, it is not a prerequisite for friendship. In fact, it’s not uncommon for child friends to grow apart while moms don’t, and that’s OK. It may be helpful to look for people who have common interests like hiking, crafting, rock climbing or entrepreneurship. Moms with older children can be a great source of advice and support for the next stage of parenting.
Introduce yourself to neighbors. As it turns out, some of my best friends live in my neighborhood. Even if you have only had casual conversations with a few, consider hosting a driveway potluck or a game night. If your neighborhood has events like a bicycle parade on the Fourth of July or a Halloween block party, join the planning committee to get to know more people.
Be a “matchmaker” for friends. As you encounter or hear about other kids or moms who don’t know anyone in the area, be the one who connects people. Put together a playdate at the park for kids and moms who are new to the neighborhood, new to the school or just new to you, providing an opportunity for everyone to meet and make new friends.
Don’t give up. Like anything, finding or building a mom squad takes time and effort. Realize that not every new connection will become a friend, and know when it is time to move on. Once you have made a connection with someone, feed the relationship with opportunities to get together. Through time and experiences together, “your people” will emerge. v
Pam Molnar is a freelance writer and mom of three. She is blessed with a tribe of mom friends that she couldn’t live without.
Love getting to know people over a good meal? Read our article “How to Start a Brunch Club” for details and more inspiration to find friends or “feed” friendship. www.sandiegofamily.com/thingsto-do/dining-and-recipes/how-tostart-brunch-club