Faith & Friends August 2019

Mouse in the House

EEK! P.5

Army Helps Mom

BABY SILAS P.14

Making a Difference

THE RIPPLE EFFECT P.22

Faith&Friends I N S P I R AT I O N F O R L I V I N G

faithandfriends.ca

AUGUST 2019

RICH FRONING JR. DIGS DEEP TO FIND HIS STRENGTH THROUGH FAITH. P.16

CrossFit Champ

Crack Open New Hope

Jo h n 3 :16

“ For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

—John 3:16

But the message in this cookie will literally change your life. John 3:16 is not some secret code but one of the most widely quoted verses in the Bible.

“You will inherit a large sum of money.”

These words contain the core message of Christianity. And what good news it is!

God loves us all. So much so that He sent Jesus to die for our sins. Salvation is open to all who believe. And those who believe will have everlasting life in heaven.

“He who has good health is young.”

That’s a future to get excited about.

Most fortune cookie messages aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on: “You are a person of culture.”

To learn more about God’s love, visit our website at faithandfriends.ca or contact us at: The Salvation Army Editorial Department, 2 Overlea Blvd., Toronto ON M4H 1P4

August 2019

VOLUME 22 NUMBER 8

COMMON GROUND 5 Mouse in the House!

When it comes to God’s mercy, we all need a little bathtub grace.

GOD IN MY LIFE 8 No Need for Kneeling

Why was Brenda Brown afraid to return to church?

8

FAITH BUILDERS 12 The Lion King

A young prince faces up to what he was born to be.

FEATURES

14

COVER STORY

16

22

A Good Life for Baby Silas

Educational support empowers a single mother.

Digging Deep

CrossFit champion Rich Froning Jr. finds his strength through faith.

The Ripple Effect

You never know the impact you can make on someone’s day with a kind word or a sympathetic smile.

LITE STUFF 24 Eating Healthy With Erin

Sudoku, Quick Quiz, Word Search.

SOMEONE CARES

Cover photo: Dre Strohm

27 Home Run

The death of Barb Cole’s husband changed her life. But she wasn’t alone on her journey.

27

NIFTY THRIFTY 31 Colourful Coasters

Take your summer barbecuing decor to the next level. faithandfriends.ca I AUGUST 2019

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Faith&Friends

FROM THE EDITOR

Faith on Display

W

hile I am proud of the Christian tattoo on the side of my lower leg—the Faith & Friends dingbat: —Rich Fronig Jr. has me in the shade. No one can look at the CrossFit champion and be in doubt about his Christian faith. You can spot him at any athletic event by the tattoo on his right side that reads “Galatians 6:14” that references the words “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

“My faith is a huge part of who I am and why I compete,” Rich says. “My talents are a way to give back.”

And give back he does. Rich hosts a fundraiser every year for Mustard Seed Ranch, which provides equine therapy for children suffering from abuse and neglect.

When asked why he does what he does, Rich replies simply, “Jesus said to take care of children and widows.”

Rich’s story is on page 16.

While it certainly doesn’t hurt, you don’t need a Christian tattoo to proclaim your faith. For Julia Hosking, all it took was a kind word to a harried commuter to change his day for the better.

“Our actions cause reactions,” Julia says.

“Make them positive.”

Elsewhere in this issue of Faith & Friends, you can read about the new Lion King movie, find out why Brenda Brown was afraid to return to church, and see how a single mother and her child were helped by a Salvation Army institution in Hamilton, Ont.

Ken Ramstead

4 • AUGUST 2019 I faithandfriends.ca

Mission Statement To show Christ at work in the lives of real people, and to provide spiritual resources for those who are new to the Christian faith.

Faith & Friends is published monthly by: The Salvation Army 2 Overlea Blvd, Toronto Ontario, M4H 1P4 International Headquarters 101 Queen Victoria Street, London, EC4P 4EP, England William and Catherine Booth FOUNDERS

Brian Peddle, GENERAL Commissioner Susan McMillan TERRITORIAL COMMANDER

Lt-Colonel John P. Murray SECRETARY FOR COMMUNICATIONS Geoff Moulton, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ken Ramstead, EDITOR

Brandon Laird DESIGN AND MEDIA SPECIALIST

Timothy Cheng SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER Pamela Richardson, COPY EDITOR, PRODUCTION CO-ORDINATOR

Ada Leung CIRCULATION CO-ORDINATOR

Kristin Ostensen STAFF WRITER, PROOFREADER

Giselle Randall STAFF WRITER Scripture Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture references are taken from New International Version Contact Us P. (416) 467-3188, F. (416) 422-6217 Websites faithandfriends.ca, salvationist.ca, salvationarmy.ca Email faithandfriends@can.salvationarmy.org Subscription for one year: Canada $17 (includes GST/HST); U.S. $22; foreign $24 P. (416) 422-6119 circulation@can.salvationarmy.org All articles are copyright The Salvation Army Canada & Bermuda and cannot be reproduced without permission.

Publications Mail Agreement No. 40064794 ISSN 1702-0131

Faith&Friends

COMMON GROUND

Mouse in the House!

When it comes to God’s mercy, we all need a little bathtub grace.

by Joyce Starr Macias

Photo: © Pakhnyushchyy/Gettyimages.com

I

f there’s one thing in this world that I really despise, it’s a mouse.

And even more so, a mouse running around in my bathtub!

I can put up with cartoon mice like Mickey and Minnie who will forever be dear to me. I even like cute, stylized drawings of little rodents.

But the real live animal is something else. I have a strict no-mouse-in-thehouse rule. No exceptions!

Rodent Refuge I never had to enforce that rule until I moved out of the city. Mice apparently don’t care much for concrete. But when I moved to a less

populated area where pine trees and scrub oaks outnumbered buildings, I found that rodents came with the territory. As soon as cold weather moved in, so did the field mice, who seemed to like a warm place to live as much as I did.

So when I heard some unusual scratching sounds in the vicinity of my bathroom one cold evening, I suspected I might have a four-legged visitor.

It didn’t take long to see that my worst fear had come to pass. I not only had a mouse in my house but it was in my bathtub! Realizing it had been seen, it tried to get away by

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Faith&Friends

COMMON GROUND

Next thing I knew, the mouse was curled up inside the drain, and a pair of terrified eyes silently pleaded with me to spare its life. frantically scratching its way to the top. But the tub was too high and the mouse was too tiny to scale its slippery sides. It would get partway up, but then slide right back down.

My mind was working overtime on a solution and, short of a stick of dynamite, I wasn’t coming up with one. Meanwhile the mouse scooted to the end of the tub and managed to kick off the drain cover. Next thing I knew, its entire body was curled up inside the drain, and a pair of terrified eyes silently pleaded with me to spare its life.

“OK, OK. You win,” I said. I grabbed a towel and draped it over the quivering critter. Gently lifting it out of the tub, I quickly went outside and opened the towel. The little beast scampered away faster than you can say “Mickey Mouse.”

When my husband got home later and heard my mouse story, he laughingly predicted that the unwanted visitor would probably find its way back inside before the night was out. He was right. Well, partly right.

Despite our best efforts to seal up

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every possible entrance, an occasional field mouse still got inside our home when the weather turned cold.

Timely Reminder I hadn’t thought about the bathtub episode for a while, but recently, right in the middle of my pastor’s Sunday sermon on grace, it came to mind again.

The pastor was reminding us that there is absolutely nothing we can do to earn God’s favour since the Bible sets out a standard of excellence that no human being can possibly meet.

We try. All of us do. But even our best efforts are doomed to failure without God’s help.

Our only option is to cast ourselves fully on God and trust in His mercy and grace, the pastor said.

He quoted Ephesians 2:8-9: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”

And it was right at that moment in the sermon that I recalled the frightened little mouse as it was

Eek! A Mouse!

When a fourlegged visitor decided to take up residence in Joyce Starr Macias’ abode, something needed to be done

desperately—and unsuccessfully— trying to claw its way out of an impossible dilemma of its own making. A mental image of its frantic clawing upward only to slide back down again reminded me that my own past efforts at finding real freedom and deliverance from hopelessness had been just as futile.

The mouse in my bathtub needed someone bigger and more able than itself to perform a rescue mission on

its behalf. It couldn’t solve its own biggest problem on its own. And neither could I. It took God’s grace to turn my life around and put my feet on a new solid path of His making. How thankful I am that He extended a hand of mercy to me—and will extend to anyone who calls out to Him for help.

Even if He has to use a mouse in a bathtub as a reminder.

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Faith&Friends

GOD IN MY LIFE

No Need for Kneeling Brenda Brown kept making excuses, but there was a real reason why she was afraid to return to church.

by Diane Stark

I

t was Christmas Eve 2012.

Brenda Brown had just arrived home from work and spotted a piece of paper lying on the table. As she read it, she felt her heart shatter.

The paper was a suicide note.

Brenda’s husband of 10 years had taken his own life.

From Fishing to Helping Brenda was raised in Grand Bank, N.L., the youngest of 12 children.

“My childhood was hard,” she says.

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“There was never enough food. I remember going door-to-door to the neighbours’ homes, asking for handouts.”

Despite the tough times, Brenda’s mom was a woman of strong faith.

“She took us to church every Sunday, and I loved it,” Brenda says.

When she was 18, Brenda married her first husband, Brian. He attended the Salvation Army church in Garnish, N.L., so Brenda joined, too. The couple had three sons and a

daughter together.

Brenda and Brian worked sideby-side on a fishing boat. They had a good marriage, but after 30 years, they realized they’d grown apart.

They tried counselling, but in 2001, the couple divorced. They remained friends until Brian passed away of pancreatic cancer a few years later.

Brenda moved to London, Ont., and returned to school. “I completed a nursing assistant course and got a job as a caregiver,” she says. “I went from fishing to helping people.”

Sleepless Nights In 2002, she met a man named Gary.

They were friends for quite some time before realizing they’d make a good couple. They married and were happy.

Until that tragic Christmas Eve

10 years later.

“After Gary took his life, I felt lost,” she says. “I was angry at God. I couldn’t believe He would allow me to have so much pain in my life.”

Through the fog of grief, Brenda remembered the difficulties of her childhood, the pain of her divorce and, now, the loss of her second husband. “I was also mad at Gary for leaving me and for choosing Christmas Eve to do it. He took the joy of Christmas away from my daughter and me,” she says.

Although Brenda had gotten out of the habit of attending church, she still had faith. “I knew that God was there with me, but I couldn’t see Him,” she says. “All I could see was my pain.”

Brenda’s daughter flew in on Christmas Day to be with Brenda,

Returning Soul “I felt like I’d finally come home,” says Brenda Brown

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Faith&Friends

GOD IN MY LIFE

“ I knew that God was there with me, but I couldn’t see Him. All I could see was my pain.” BRENDA BROWN and she stayed until Brenda decided to move back to Newfoundland to be closer to family. Brenda stayed with her brother and his wife until she found her own home, and then took a job as an in-home caregiver.

During this time, Brenda suffered from terrible nightmares. “I had two or three every night,” she says. “In my dreams, I was sure I was going to die. They felt so real. I could hardly sleep at all.”

Her Reason Why Brenda’s friend, Anne, repeatedly invited her to attend the Salvation Army church at Conception Bay South, N.L., but she kept making excuses.

“I wondered what people at church would think of me because I’m divorced,” she explains. “And I didn’t want to give up the new friends I was hanging out with. I knew I was heading down the wrong path, but I wasn’t ready to go back to church. I wanted to keep going the way I was going.”

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But her biggest worry about returning to church was a physical one. “I knew if I went back to church, I would give my life back to God, but because I had kneereplacement surgery, I’m unable to kneel,” she says. “I felt that I couldn’t return to church because I wouldn’t be able to kneel at the mercy seat, the place where people go to pray and ask forgiveness for their sins.”

In Focus Finally, Brenda gave in and accepted Anne’s invitation. She became a regular attender at Conception Bay South.

“I was still being stubborn and trying to go my own way, but something kept me going back to church each week,” she says.

One Sunday morning in September 2017, a few months after she returned to church, she was listening to Salvation Army pastor Major Lorne Pritchett make an appeal at the end of his message.

“He said, ‘Anyone who wants to

Standing for God “This is the happiest I have ever been,” says Brenda

get right with God needs to go to the mercy seat and ask for forgiveness.’

God had been working on my heart, and I wanted to go, but I couldn’t kneel.”

Then Major Lorne said something amazing.

“He said, ‘If you can’t kneel, ask for forgiveness right where you are.’ That was all I needed to hear,” Brenda says. “It was like he’d issued that invitation just for me.”

Brenda bowed her head at her seat and asked God back into her life.

“It was the most wonderful feeling I’ve ever had,” she says. “I felt a huge burden lift from my heart. I felt like I’d finally come home.”

Brenda became an official member of The Salvation Army last year.

Her third husband, Bob, whom she married in March 2017, gave her a Salvation Army uniform for a Christmas gift, and her daughter gave her an Army cardigan.

“I love my uniform, and I’m so proud to wear it again,” she smiles.

“When God calls me home, I want to be buried in my uniform.”

Brenda’s life has changed dramatically since inviting God back into it.

“I don’t have nightmares anymore,” she says. “In fact, this is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

For so many years, Brenda has dreaded Christmas Eve and the memories it brings her of that terrible day. “But now, I attend church on Christmas Eve, and I keep my focus on Jesus.”

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Faith&Friends

FAITH BUILDERS

Joining the Circle of Life In The Lion King, a young prince faces up to what he was born to be. It’s a lesson we can all take to heart.

by Diane Stark

T

wenty-five years ago, moviegoers first watched the iconic scene where Rafiki the monkey holds up baby lion Simba and presents him to the other animals in their kingdom. This July, the magic happens all over again as Disney releases a photorealistic, computeranimated remake of The Lion King.

Fight or Flee?

The Lion King tells the story of a young lion named Simba (Donald Glover), who is destined to follow in his father Mufasa’s (James Earl Jones) footsteps and become king of the Pride Lands. But his evil uncle, Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor), sets a trap to kill Mufasa and Simba so

12 • AUGUST 2019 I faithandfriends.ca

he can take over as king. Mufasa is killed, but Simba survives. Scar lies to Simba, convincing him that he is responsible for his father’s death.

Simba runs away, abandoning his responsibilities and his best friend Nala (Beyoncé Knowles-Carter).

He meets Timon the meercat (Billy Eichner) and Pumbaa the warthog (Seth Rogen), who encourage Simba to enjoy life and not worry about anything back home. But when Simba sees the animals in his father’s kingdom suffering under Scar’s leadership, he wonders if he made the right decision.

Simba remembers the words his father told him: “While others search for what they can take, a true

“While others search for what they can take, a true king searches for what he can give.” MUFASA king searches for what he can give.

You must take your place in the circle of life.”

Will Simba return to the Pride Lands to fight for his throne or will he continue to dodge his father’s expectations?

It’s Our Turn When we become Christians, we are given the incredible gift of eternal life. God offers this gift to all who believe in Him. And while this gift is free to us, it does come with responsibilities.

Like Simba, we each have a role to play in the kingdom. God created us for a specific purpose. We each have something we were born to do.

But being born to do something doesn’t make it easy. God’s calling on our lives can take us out of our comfort zone. Like Simba, we can decide that our calling is too hard or too scary. Even worse, we might think that we’re not good enough for God to use.

Simba’s story is reminiscent of Jonah’s in the Bible. God asked Jonah to go to the town of Nineveh and tell the people there about Him. But Jonah didn’t want to and he ran in the opposite direction of his

calling. He got on a boat and God sent a giant storm that threatened to capsize the boat. Jonah knew that he was the cause of the storm and he told the men to throw him overboard. In the water, a giant fish swallowed Jonah and he stayed in the fish’s belly for three days. When the fish finally spat him out on dry land, Jonah did what God asked and went to Nineveh.

Not following our calling is unlikely to land us in the belly of a giant fish, but it will keep us from reaching the potential God has for us. Doing what God asks of us takes courage and hard work, but God promises to help us.

Mufasa told Simba that a true king searches for what he can give.

Our King—Jesus—gave everything for us. He came to earth to save it.

But not everyone knows that.

God’s most important calling for us is to tell others about His love and forgiveness. God asks us to spread the good news of Jesus and invite others to receive the gift of eternal life as we have. When we share our faith with those around us and they find forgiveness, too, it creates the best kind of circle of life.

An eternal one.

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Faith&Friends

FEATURE

A Good Life for Baby Silas

Photo: Joel Johnson

Happy Family “I want Silas to look back one day and be proud of me for what I did,” says Robin, here with Silas

WITH THE HELP OF THE SALVATION ARMY, EDUCATIONAL SUPPORT EMPOWERS A SINGLE MOTHER.

by Linda Leigh

A

t 17, Robin wasn’t making good choices and left high school with two credits to go. A year later, she became pregnant. After her son was born, she realized that her lack of education could impact the rest of their lives, so she returned to school. But caring 14 • AUGUST 2019 I faithandfriends.ca

for a newborn, studying and going to class was too much to handle, so she quit. More than ever, Robin and Silas needed assistance.

Welcome Support In September 2018, Robin was directed to The Salvation Army’s

“ Pregnancy and being a single parent doesn’t mean it is impossible for young women to do well in school or build on their parenting skills.” MAJOR JUNE NEWBURY Grace Haven in Hamilton, Ont., a program dedicated to supporting pregnant and young parents with education and parenting skills.

“The Salvation Army is the biggest part of my support system, hands down,” says Robin. “At Grace Haven, I’m completing my high school education while Silas attends its on-site daycare. Daycare provides Silas with one-on-one attention that he wouldn’t get if I was home doing school work. Knowing he is safe and well cared for allows me to focus better on school.”

Robin says that prior to having Silas, she was in an unhealthy relationship and used drugs to cope.

She was also balancing two jobs.

In September 2016, she recognized the unhealthy patterns she had created and chose to stop the drugs and work on the relationship. Then, when Silas was conceived, her positive mindset toward success solidified.

“Grace Haven helps me make healthy choices, gives me guidance when it comes to being a mom and provides practical assistance such as formula and diapers,” says Robin.

“I get emotional when I think about it, because The Salvation Army has helped me so much.”

Graduating With Honours “Pregnancy and being a single parent doesn’t mean it is impossible for young women to do well in school or build on their parenting skills,” says Major June Newbury, executive director of Grace Haven. “With lots of support, they can achieve their educational dreams, improve their parenting skills, connect with community, and work towards providing financial stability and a future for their children.”

This past June, Robin received her Grade 12 diploma—with honours. She has enrolled in college to become a social-service worker and eventually wants to be an addictions counsellor.

“I want Silas to look back one day and be proud of me for what I did,” says Robin. “With help from The Salvation Army, I was able to do the best in school and in turn provide a good life for Silas. Grace Haven has left me feeling empowered, loved and capable.” faithandfriends.ca I AUGUST 2019

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Faith&Friends

COVER STORY

Digging Deep CROSSFIT CHAMPION RICH FRONING JR. FINDS HIS STRENGTH THROUGH FAITH.

by Jayne Thurber-Smith 16 • AUGUST 2019 I faithandfriends.ca

Victory Lap Rich Froning Jr. celebrates another CrossFit win with his fans and his daughter

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Faith&Friends

COVER STORY

Photos: Dre Strohm

Training Day “I may never be the strongest, I may not be the fastest, but I work the hardest,” says Rich

IN PREPARATION FOR THE 2011 CrossFit Games, Rich Froning Jr. scribbled lines on his shoes from the New Testament’s Book of Matthew referencing the Crucifixion of Jesus. He told an interviewer that whenever he felt like quitting, he simply looked down and was reminded that no matter how hard things got, he would never know the suffering Jesus endured.

“You learn a lot about yourself when you’re physically beat down, digging deep inside,” he says. “When 18 • AUGUST 2019 I faithandfriends.ca

I’m exhausted, I look at my feet and think what I go through is nothing compared to what Jesus did for me, mentally and physically, so I give a little bit more.”

Champion of Faith That was Rich’s second appearance at the CrossFit Games. Having worked his way through college as a firefighter, Rich was in top shape when he competed for the first time in 2010. He had a significant lead going into the final event, but in the

“ My faith is a huge part of who I am and why I compete.” RICH FRONING JR. end lost to the winner by just three points, finishing second.

Rich felt like a failure. He fell into depression and considered giving up competing for good. Instead, he re-examined the faith that his mother had instilled in him at a young age and realized his priorities had to change. Rather than thinking, What can God do for me? he began to think, What can I do for Him? and How can I lead people to Him? Rich returned to compete in the games every year from 2011 through to 2014, walking away each time a champion of the CrossFit Games and a champion of the faith.

Adding Up In sync with his desire to lead people to God, Rich has “Galatians 6:14” tattooed on his torso, which anyone watching him in any competition can see. The verse says: “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

“My faith is now a huge part of who I am and why I compete,” Rich says. “The talents I’ve been given are a way to give back.”

Rich learned how to dig deep long before CrossFit Games came into existence, in a much more unforgiving venue: home.

“I am one of 32 cousins, a group

where there was a lot of ongoing competition,” he recalls. “Also, both my parents were always the hardest workers in the room no matter where we went. They expected me to follow their example, and if I was sitting around the house, they would always find me something to do.

There isn’t just one thing, but a lot of things together that add up to my stick-to-it-iveness.”

Adopted Love Rich and his wife, Hillary, also had to dig deep spiritually while riding the tragic and emotional roller-coaster of infertility. He and his wife battled through the hardship of miscarriages that can sometimes make couples want to give up. They shared their struggles on Rich’s CrossFit Mayhem YouTube channel.

“The hardest part was being told by every doctor, ‘This is it! This is going to work for you,’ ” Hillary says, tearing up at the memories. “But then nothing … ever … worked.”

“To watch Hillary have that hope and then see the rug pulled out from under her, that was the hard part,” Rich adds.

Rich comments that infertility actually affected their marriage in a positive way, drawing them even closer together. faithandfriends.ca I AUGUST 2019

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Faith&Friends

COVER STORY

Group Huddle Rich and Hillary with their children

“I think Hillary felt like she was failing me,” he said. “I told her ‘You’re not failing me! We’re both perfectly healthy. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t work; it’s just not working.

It is what it is.’ ” After much prayer and discussion, the Fronings went the adoption route.

“When my wife and I first talked about having a family, we planned to have three biological children and adopt one,” Rich says. “Then when she didn’t get pregnant, Hillary wanted to go ahead with adoption but I was still thinking my first child had to be physically mine. She prayed over it and prayed over me, too. God changed my mind and I haven’t once doubted that decision.”

Time to Commit Having held the title “The Fittest Man on Earth” for four years straight, Rich says the best title in the world is “Dad.” “We now have three adopted children five years old and under,” he says.

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“It’s a handful. I am open to a fourth, but we are good for now! All of our kids are our kids. You look at their mannerisms and there’s no question they take after my wife and me.”

This past April, Rich held his sixth annual CrossFit Competition fundraiser, Mayhem for Mustard Seed Ranch, to help kids who aren’t as fortunate as his own. This event has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for a ranch housing program that provides equine therapy for children suffering from abuse and neglect.

“We did this even before we had kids of our own,” Rich comments.

“Jesus said to take care of children and widows, and that’s why we partnered with this charity. So many of the kids have similar stories, like their parents got in trouble or just couldn’t take proper care of them, then maybe the grandparents try but they can’t, so the kids end up at Mustard Seed Ranch. The house parents there that step in for them are incredible, and the kids get a chance to grow up normal.”

Rich now owns and operates the CrossFit Mayhem gym in Cookeville, Tennessee, where he encourages others to dig deep on a regular basis.

He shares the following advice: “Fitness of any kind requires getting into a rhythm daily, and making time to commit to the work.”

TOGETHER, WE MAKE A DIFFERENCE 2018-2019 We Gave Back

$6,220,352 of clothing & household items given to neighbours in need

82,460,872

$759,003

pounds of household items diverted from local landfills

for GoodWorks@Work® cause-related initiatives

With the support of:

106

Thrift Stores & Donor Welcome Centres

10

Distribution & Recycling Centres

14M 2,246 250 Guests & Generous Donors

Employees

Volunteers

The Salvation Army Thrift Store, National Recycling Operations WE OFFER A UNIQUE WAY TO SERVE THROUGH RETAIL & RECYCLING faithandfriends.ca I AUGUST 2019 • 21 www.thriftstore.ca

FEATURE

Photo: © PeopleImages/istock via Gettyimages

Faith&Friends

The

Ripple Effect

YOU NEVER KNOW THE IMPACT YOU CAN MAKE ON SOMEONE’S DAY WITH A KIND WORD OR A SYMPATHETIC SMILE.

by Julia Hosking

A

man rushed past, impatient to board his train. In his haste, he knocked into another man, causing that man’s drink bottle to fall out of his bag.

It rolled down the gap between the platform and the train—never to be seen again.

We made eye contact. He looked frustrated. Annoyed. I gave him a sympathetic smile and hoped my eyes said, “That was rude and it 22 • AUGUST 2019 I faithandfriends.ca

sucks. But at least it was just a drink bottle and nothing more valuable.”

I joined the queue for the escalator, as did he, a little ahead of me.

Because I chose to walk up the right, I soon ended up next to him. We made eye contact again. I simply said, “Don’t let it ruin your day.”

“Thanks,” he replied. “I won’t.”

It was a quick, off-the-cuff exchange, but the next morning as I boarded the train, I was tapped on

“ Wow! I took my seat and marvelled at God’s hand in that event.” JULIA HOSKING the shoulder.

“Excuse me.” It was the man whose drink bottle had been knocked off the platform.

“Thank you for your kind example yesterday,” he said.

Stunned, I managed to stammer, “Did you have a good day?”

“I did,” he replied, “and I used it as an example for my team. So, thank you.”

Still lost for words, and conscious we were holding up the commuters on each set of stairs, I smiled and quickly said, “Oh, good,” before hurrying along.

Wow! I took my seat and marvelled at God’s hand in that event.

Actions and Reactions So often our impact is unknown. I was overwhelmed with how my words that day had started a ripple effect.

Who knows? Maybe without me, that man could have been frustrated about being knocked in such a rude way and it could have flowed

on from there, the springboard for negative emotions, which in turn could have heightened frustration at every other minor inconvenience that day.

You know those days I mean, when you “wake up on the wrong side of bed” and when every little nuisance piles on top of the other until you explode because the milk was spilled.

So, not only did that man end up having a good day instead of a negative one, but he encouraged his team.

And who knows what impact that had? Who was in his team? Three people? One hundred? And how did they respond? Did one of those team members make a better decision that day because of what he said? And did that ripple flow on from there?

Our actions cause reactions. Make them positive. Our actions cause reactions. Be wise in your choices.

Try not to sweat the small stuff. Our actions cause reactions. It’s a lesson I learned again that day.

(left) Julia Hosking lives in Sydney, Australia, with her husband and two daughters. A former Faith & Friends staff writer, she worships at her local Salvation Army church. Through her blog, Live the Gift, Julia aims to inspire other women to cherish the gift we call life. Follow her at livethegift. blogspot.com or facebook.com/livethegiftblog. faithandfriends.ca I AUGUST 2019

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Faith&Friends

LITE STUFF

Eating Healthy With Erin EGGS BLACKSTONE TIME 10 min MAKES 2 servings SERVE WITH fresh fruit salad

Hollandaise: 2 egg yolks 60 ml (¼ cup) unsalted butter 5 ml (1 tsp) lemon juice 2 ml (½ tsp) Dijon mustard 1 ml (¼ tsp) salt pinch of cayenne pinch of black ground pepper

1. Separate yolks in microwave-safe bowl.

Poached Eggs: 2 eggs 22 ml (1½ tbsp) white vinegar pinch of salt

1. Fill saucepan two thirds full with water and add salt. Bring to boil and then reduce to low simmer. Add vinegar to boiling water.

2. Melt butter in small pan and slowly pour into yolks. Add remaining ingredients and heat in microwave for 20 seconds, then whisk.

2. Crack cold eggs and slowly drop into water.

Assembly: 1 English muffin 4 tomato slices butter to taste smoked paprika to taste pinch of salt pinch of black pepper

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1. Toast English muffin and butter to taste. Stack tomato, a poached egg and hollandaise sauce on each piece.

2. Sprinkle paprika, salt and pepper on top.

Recipe photo: Erin Stanley

3. Allow to cook for 4 minutes and then remove with slotted spoon and place on paper towel.

The Sound of Music

SAVED BY THE BAND P.16

Refresh Your Patio

GREAT OUTDOORS P.23

Dreams Into Realities

ARMY HELPS P.19

Faith&Friends I N S P I R AT I O N F O R L I V I N G

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Spider-Man:

Far From Home

WILL OUR FAVOURITE WEB SLINGER COME TO THE RESCUE? P.12

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Sudoku Puzzle

9

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3 × 3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

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QUICK QUIZ

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© www.kevinfrank.net

HEAVEN’S LOVE THRIFT SHOP by Kevin Frank

Answers on next page.

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9 1. What two letters in the Google symbol are red?

2. What newspaper does mild-mannered Clark Kent work for?

3. Is a cornet a woodwind or a brass instrument?

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Faith&Friends

LITE STUFF

Word Search New Testament People J S C B T X B P A T M S Z S S L E L B U M O Y S H A S L U A I D U P L A A H D G R I I E R E I M G O E O I Z R C P A L N I R A A O U P I A N Z A N Y M I S R E H H N B V Q S M T A R A T P A P I C L O C K B A A I I B U B U G H R C S F I I S C A K T U E S A E G E A T C C N U R U V S R S T A S I T Z E Y H G A O S N S F A P H L H E R P R X H A D R Z Y G E B I T L P R H E C E N T U R I O N P J L M I T E N Y R E W E M O L O H T R A B C N E V O S A H P A I A C T B R T L S R P D S U M E D O C I N E Y A E Y I J O H N T H E B A P T I S T S N E R Z E C H A R I A H T H A D D E U S P Y H T O M I T J O S E P H K A R S U S E M A J W I D O W L U A P C C Y S AQUILA BARABBAS BARNABAS BARTHOLOMEW BARTIMAEUS CAESAR CAIAPHAS CENTURION CORNELIUS DORCAS ELIZABETH EUTYCHUS HIGH PRIEST

JAMES JESUS CHRIST JOHN THE BAPTIST JOSEPH JUDAS ISCARIOT KING HEROD LAZARUS MAGI MARTHA MARY NICODEMUS PAUL

PETER PHILIP PONTIUS PILATE PRISCILLA SIMON OF CYRENE STEPHEN THADDEUS TIMOTHY WIDOW ZACCHAEUS ZECHARIAH

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Quick Quiz Answers: 1. The first “o” and the “e” 2. The Daily Planet; 3. brass.

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SOMEONE CARES

Home Run My husband died at 33 and it was an experience that changed my life.

But I wasn’t alone on my journey.

by Barb Cole

T

he first time you enter a large cancer centre, all you see in the waiting room is a lot of concerned looking people. And the atmosphere is tense. But it’s hard to distinguish if that is what it is really like, or if it is your own fearful perceptions that distort how things are.

Bryan’s diagnosis of malignant melanoma made life look completely different. The prognosis was

terrifying. How do you wrap your head around your husband having two months left in this world?

As Bryan was called in, a team of oncologists also entered the examination room. My frail frame shook, and I could feel my heart beating against my chest. His doctor finally called me into the office and explained all that was required for surgery: a radical scalp and neck dissection and removal of lymph

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Faith&Friends

SOMEONE CARES

I developed a relationship with God that was real, a concept I had never experienced before. BARB COLE nodes, with follow-up radiation and chemotherapy.

The doctor’s last words at the appointment were, “We are aiming for a home run!” My husband and I held on to the idea of “a home run.”

A God Lens Thankfully, I had recently been connected with a Salvation Army church through Marg, a colleague of mine who, through this very difficult time, became my best friend. I also had a wonderful support group and counsellor. It wasn’t long after my husband’s surgery that I was able to start a residential therapeutic program of group work. We had strict routines that included daily exercise, chores, healthy meals, group sessions, journaling, education and evening relaxation. We were not exposed to the outside world, except for our daily walks, but we were exposed to spiritual principles.

In those 28 days, I developed a relationship with God that was real, a concept I had never experienced before.

The program was life-changing.

All too soon, it was time to leave

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our secure, nurturing environment and re-enter the world that would be exactly as we left it. The difference was, I was now viewing it through a God lens.

“The Lamp of the Body” It was not an easy road over the next months, as Bryan and I visited hospitals and pain clinics. As a registered nurse, I had the skill to care for my husband at home, but home-care nurses came to do bloodwork and maintain the pain medication. The atmosphere in the room was peaceful, much like a hospice. It was close to Christmas and a poinsettia was placed on the bedside table.

Every day, it seemed, Bryan needed an increase in pain medication. Eventually, lumps began to appear on his chest. His final visit to the hospital was for a blood transfusion. But there was no more the medical professionals could do. He was dying.

I was at home when Bryan returned. It was a dark, winter evening and the ambulance pulled up to the back door. Our home was a tiny little place, and the ambulance atten-

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Dealing With Loss “How do you wrap your head around your husband having two months left in this world?” asks Barb Cole

dants had to maneuver the stretcher around some very tight corners.

As they twisted and turned to get into the bedroom, my husband yelled with pain. After they laid him gently on the bed, I walked them out, then returned to the bedroom to settle him in.

When I entered, an incredible peace came over me. As I made contact with Bryan’s eyes, he smiled at me. My eyes grew big and round, and I was in awe. I told him that he had a bright light shining out of his

right eye. He smiled peacefully at me, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

The next morning, I called my brother to tell him what I seen the night before. Shortly after, my brother turned up with a Bible in his hand. He read Scripture to me from Matthew 6:22: “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.”

Out of Deep Water As the day went by, Bryan started to

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SOMEONE CARES

get sleepier and less responsive. The doctor dropped in that afternoon and explained that, as the calcium levels increased in his blood, he would become less conscious and just sleep until he passed away.

I was tired and I curled up close to my husband to get some sleep.

As I drifted into slumber, I began to dream.

In it, my brother, Bryan and I were biking along a path when we came upon a bridge. My brother challenged Bryan to jump, and he did.

Fear came upon me as I watched my husband struggle in the deep water far below the bridge. But out of the sky came a big hand that scooped him right out of the water and held him safely. I woke up.

When my counsellor came to visit that day, he had tears when I told him my dream. He told me that that was from Psalm 18:16: “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.”

Release My counsellor and my best friend, Marg, stayed with me into the morning hours. My husband did not rouse until 2:30 a.m., when he called out, “Is that you, Dad? I am not ready to come yet.”

His father had just passed away a few months earlier.

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At 7:30 a.m., Bryan opened his eyes, his breathing laboured, deep and rattling. He looked at my counsellor and Marg, who had been beside us through the whole journey, and said, “I just want to say thank you both, but it is time to go home now.” He then looked over at me, and from the depths of his heart, he spoke his final words, “I love you.”

He closed his eyes and was gone.

The following days were full of busyness and arrangements. Out of habit, I walked by the bedroom to see how he was doing, only to realize he wasn’t there.

To my amazement, the poinsettia beside his bed was in full bloom. I’d received two poinsettias at Christmas and hadn’t watered either. I went out to the dining room to see the other one. It was dead. My mother-in-law smiled at me and said, “The poinsettia, right?”

All I remember of the funeral was that the Salvation Army church was packed with people. And I also remember the final words of the funeral director as the casket was lowered into the ground: “Now we release him home to you, God.” Exactly where Bryan said he was going: Home. And to you, doctor, your aim was perfect: it was indeed a home run.

Barb Cole is an official member of The Salvation Army in Trail, B.C.

Faith&Friends

NIFTY THRIFTY

Colourful Coasters Take your summer barbecuing decor to the next level.

Bring some fun and colour to a second-hand set of coasters with these refashioning tips.

Supplies Needed Thrifted coasters, felt, embroidery floss and needle, scissors, white glue or Mod Podge, sponge brush, chalk Step 1 Buy a set of coasters from your local Salvation Army thrift store.

Step 2 Make the base for your design. Use chalk to trace an outline of the coaster onto the felt, then cut it out. Leave some extra felt around the base since you will trim it later.

Next, cut out the pieces of coloured felt that will make up your design.

Step 3 Put your design together. Glue the coloured felt pieces onto the felt base or use embroidery floss—the stitches will add extra pizzazz to the design.

Step 4 Glue your design to the coaster. Use a sponge brush to add white glue or Mod Podge to the surface of the coaster. Place your design on the glued surface. Rub the felt into the glue, then allow to dry.

Step 5 After the glue dries, trim the edge of the felt base so it lines up with the edge of the coaster. After trimming, you can use a permanent marker to colour the sides and bottom of the coaster.

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(left) Denise Corcoran (aka Thrifty By Design) is an author, upcycler, community builder and workshop facilitator based in North Vancouver. She shares her enthusiasm for crafting and upcycling by facilitating “Crafternoons” throughout Vancouver. She is also a creative expert for The Salvation Army’s thrift stores.

Find a thrift store near you at thriftstore.ca.

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