Issue 06

ENTERTAINMENT FOR STUDENTS

ISSUE 06 / 29.03.21

The cost of being visible P10-13

Don’t Fear the Fresher Five P14-15

Smokers guide to going home P16-17

A Faithful and a First-timer Take on the Footy P22-23

Hot Cross Buns?

A History of Hot Cross Buns P34-35

1

03

Editorial

04

Letters and Notices

05 - 09

News

10 - 13

The cost of being visible

14 - 15

Don’t Fear the Fresher Five

16 - 17

Smokers guide to going home

20 - 21

Centrefold

22 - 23

A Faithful and a First-timer Take on the Footy

24 - 29

Columns

Shits Fucked (24), $10 Jugs (25), Flat Chat (26), UniQ (27), VUWSA (27), Student Wellbeing (28), Mauri Ora (28), Women’s Writes (29)

30 - 35

Culture

What’s on in the Local Music Scene? (30), Review: Student Fringe Shows (32), A History of Hot Cross Buns (34)

36 - 38

Entertainment

About Us Salient is published by, but remains editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is funded in part by VUWSA through the Student Services Levy. Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

Complaints Complaints regarding the material published in Salient should first be brought to the Editors in writing (editor@salient.org.nz).

If not satisfied with the response, complaints should be directed to the Media Council (info@mediacouncil.org.nz).

The views expressed in Salient do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, VUWSA, or the University.

Sink your teeth into it!

2

Editorial Easter might be the best public holiday of the year.

Here we are at the end of the first six weeks of Uni, staring down the barrel of the only Governmentsanctioned, four-day-long weekend of the year—well besides Christmas, but this one’s better.

The problem with Christmas is the family politics and being forced to listen to the same songs on repeat in the supermarket for two months. There’s the pressure to buy presents you can’t afford, or you might overdo it on the presents with no reciprocation. What if your friends only deserve a lump of coal? You might have the stray aunty pulling up on Christmas morning, and an uncle’s very marginal political opinions to accompany your festive lunch. The opportunities for chaos are endless.

After the announcement that Matariki will be added to our list of public holidays in 2022, some New Zealanders got up in arms because the dates for Matariki will change each year so it will match up astrologically.

These people must also be up in arms about the dates for Easter changing each year to align with the March equinox.

As chocolate lovers, there is a big incentive to celebrate this holiday. It’s virtually centred around chocolate consumption. Although, the traditional hollow egg in the cardboard box with the plastic packaging can lead to a huge amount of waste. This year we’re straying away from the eggs in plastic shells and favouring foil. And we may only buy them once they go on sale after Easter to save the waste, and our bank accounts. Show us a better deal that a $4 Lindt bunny.

It’s also still kind of summer-y, so there is still an opportunity to dust off your budgie smugglers and go for a dip at Oriental Bay, or eat outside under the windy sunshine.

For Matthew, this is going to be the first ever Easter he spends away from his family, and to be honest he’s quite gutted. This for him has always been a holiday spent with his parents and siblings, no matter where. Sally will be making hot cross buns and hopefully participating in a flat Easter egg hunt.

In this week’s lead feature, “The cost of being visible: Anti-Asian sentiment in the COVID age” on page 10, Ronia Ibrahim calls out racism. Ronia writes of her own experiences combined with information about recent events, headlines, and historic incidents both locally and globally.

If you haven’t seen Taika Waititi’s 2017 video called “Give Nothing to Racism”, delivered in his signature comedic style—look that up on YouTube.

As with any other break, this is a good time to reflect, take time for yourself, and hang out with friends and family. It’s been a heavy few weeks.

Ngā manaakitanga,

Sally Ward (she/her) and Matthew Casey (he/him) Salient Co-Editors

Brought to you by Peoples Coffee

www.salient.org.nz

3

NOTICES & LETTERS Submit Letters and Notices for future issues

by Tuesdays 5pm to editor@salient.org.nz Hi Salient, I really enjoyed the sex week issue but I do believe that there was a problem on page 35 in your depiction of ‘Cowgirl’ - after much discussion with my friends, it’s actually reverse cowgirl which I think is a completely different thing.

James

Hi there Salient Editor,

Dear Salient Editor, Whilst I was delighted to see Frankie’s frank piece on period sex I came away feeling somewhat unsatisfied.

Speaking openly about the blood/sex is useful, but the piece lacked the nuance needed to explain that not all periods are the same. For those who are not blessed by lighter flows, missionary with doubled-up towels can still result in crime-scene-esque woes (speaking from personal experience).

It’s important not to equate having sex on your period with full female sexual liberation; to my fellow hearty flow-flooders out there please don’t feel bad if you wish to keep your period products (and their back-ups) of choice in place. There’s no shame waiting it out until those lighter days, or whenever you next feel so inclined to get laid.

I also wish to point out an inaccuracy re blood and lubrication. The vaginas of menstruating people will lubricate to different degrees upon arousal during different phases of the menstrual cycle; some of these are ‘wet’ and others are ‘dry’. Whilst blood appears wet it actually has a drying effect on skin, and so technically the menstrual phase is a ‘dry’ phase: so don’t be shy, give lube a try!

I’m taking JAPA 213 this tri which is heavily focused on Okinawa and I just wanted to point out that there is a mistake in 25 across. Naha is the capital of Okinawa prefecture on the main island of Okinawa, Nagasaki is located on the island of Kyushu. I assume Kyushu is the correct answer to 25 across based on the clue “Island where you’d find Nagasaki and Naha (6)”. Basically, I just wanted to say that you wouldn’t find Nagasaki and Naha on the same island.

For those who mostly have sex with themselves, a welllubricated vibrator is reported to be a good period go-to.

I’m writing this as your bloody cis/hetero Pākeha auntie and have no wisdom to offer around queer-sexy-bloody times.

Cheers, Sam Blue

xox Your Bloody Cis/Hetero Pākehā Auntie

Sex week’s kicking off strong with Salient and wow, thanks, I hate it. I crack open the trusty student mag, settle in for a cosy few pages of news and some tastefully informative STI talk, then turn the leaf only to have my eyeballs assaulted by a musty ass flesh coloured 6-inch dildo. Come on Salient. I’m sex-repulsed, I didn’t wanna see that. Some of us don’t experience sexual attraction. Some of us have sexual trauma. Some of us experience our sexualities in a unique way due to physical disability or neurodiversity, but hey, PIV sex positions, right? Can we talk about that for Sex Week, or

are going to keep pushing the narrative that embracing your sexuality = embracing sex? There’s enough virgin shaming to go around WITHOUT a full colour reminder that if you don’t want to participate in the cult ritual of mashing genitals together, you might as well pack your lunchbox and go back to middle school because you’re too old to use the ‘sex is gross’ excuse without some allo-het guy promising his dick will unlock your true sexuality like its a housekey and not the ugliest part of the human body. ‘Enthusiastic yes’, let’s try an enthusiastic no for once.

But please, period sex ain’t all about girls who have sex with boys who are still learning how not to be misogynistic; dear sweet author please go back and diversify your sample, it’s 2021.

- An angry asexual

4

Letters and Notices

News

Administrator Proposed / Uniting on housing Deleted Files / Law students win / Opinion

‘GETTING THE IMPORTANT STUFF DONE:’ GENERAL AND FINANCIAL ADMINISTRATOR FOR NGĀI TAUIRA PROPOSED Kane Bassett (he/him) Ngāti Apa, Ngāti Kahungunu ki te Wairoa

The role is budgeted at $60k. VUWSA President, Michael Turnbull, says this will cover a 40-hour work week at “at least the living wage.” He adds it also includes costs for “training, resourcing, technology, and subscriptions for various softwares”.

The financing is to be provided by funds from the Student Services Levy. As such, the proposal for the addition of a General and Financial Administrator to Ngāi Tauira’s operational team has been made through the Advisory Committee on the Student Services Levy (ACSSL).

Photo: Te apa mareikura a Māui tikitiki-a-taranga, the waharoa outside Ngāi Tauria’s meeting place on Kelburn Parade. Source: Saul Grant-Drummond

Ngāi Tauira is hoping to receive a General and Financial Administrator to assist with the Executive’s operational tasks. Their aspirations have received unanimous support in principle from VUWSA, Ngāi Tauira alumni and members, and Victoria University.

Ngāi Tauira Co-President, Safari Hynes (Rangitāne) tells Salient the administrator role is to relieve the Exec’s members of “administrative and financial nitty gritties”.

He says this will give Exec members more time to work on their ideas, fulfill policy objectives, and to “do what we came here to do, which is to get a degree.”

Katelynne Pōtiki-Clune (Ngāti Porou, Waikato-Tainui, Tapuika, Ngāi Tahu), who is in a Co-Presidency with Safari, says the Financial Administrator’s job description would include: administrative support, record management, and communication, as well as finance, account, and event support, and help with relationships and fundraising.

The administrator will be employed by VUWSA, but will receive workload direction from Ngāi Tauira. Workload direction extends to Ngā Rangahautira, Te Hohaieti o te reo Maori ki Wikitoria, and Ngā Taura Umanga, meaning the administrator is to support each of the Māori students’ associations on campus.

Safari says the proposal has received unanimous principle support from Ngāi Tauira alumni and members. He said consultation took place on Wednesday, 17 March, when four motions were passed at a whānau hui. The motions were: “agree in principle, agree on the job description, agree the admin will be staffed by VUWSA, and agree on options.”

VUWSA agrees in principle as well. In this sense, Michael stresses the importance of operational staff backing in student advocacy. He says “the reason why VUWSA can be as successful as it can” is because the VUWSA Executive is supported by administrative staff, such as the CEO, Comms and Marketing Manager, Events Manager, and Accounts Manager. This, according to Michael, enables the VUWSA Exec to “focus on the more important stuff, like sticking it to the Uni.” Safari said to his knowledge, the proposal for a new General and Financial Administrator also has support in principle from the University.

A spokesperson for the University confirmed ACSSL had received Ngāi Tauira’s proposal, and that University staff were working “in partnership” with student representatives on ACSSL towards an outcome.

There is no set date for when the Administrator will be employed. Michael, Katelynne, and Safari each say there are “small details” of the proposal yet to work out, such as a properly fleshed-out job description, but ultimately they hope to see someone employed in the position “ASAP”.

www.salient.org.nz

5

WELLINGTON ADVOCACY GROUPS UNITING ON HOUSING Sally Ward (she/her) VUWSA has been working as a committee with a number of housing advocacy groups. Engagement Vice President, Grace Carr, says the committee is to create unified demands in order to enact beneficial change for students, and other demographics, in New Zealand’s housing market.

The three key areas that VUWSA wants to address are cost, supply, and quality.

“The cost of renting is a big priority as that’s something that consumes our lives, especially in Wellington where StudyLink doesn’t even cover most people’s rent.”

Grace also acknowledged that the supply of housing causes a power imbalance that allows landlords to choose tenants, and tenants often have to “give up their rights to stay in housing.”

She also explained that the quality and accessibility of housing is a health issue. “Our homes are damp and mouldy, which impacts our physical and mental health.” A On Saturday, 20 March, VUWSA attended the group’s first lot of homes are not accessible for people with disabilities. hui alongside members and representatives from Renters United, Manawatū Tenants Union, Housing Action Students can expect to see some action in the VUWSA Porirua, International Socialists, Church groups, Women’s space over the next couple of years. Grace talked to Refuge, NZ Disabled Students’ Association, State Salient about plans for a rally or march to campaign on Housing Action Network, Wellington Housing Coalition, certain demands. Another plan is to establish a Student’s and the Councillor Trade Union.

Residences Association to allow students to have “their voices channelled into the work” that is being done.

Grace told Salient the main goal of the hui was to find out which issues were shared by the participating “We all know housing is an issue but don’t really have a groups. According to Carr, this was grassroots work “to place to direct our energies.” form a platform that [VUWSA] can campaign on”. Part of this involves the establishment of key policy asks, or One of biggest challenges, Grace said, is holding demands, to improve the housing experience. politicians to account and getting them to spend their political capital. She is hoping that a unified movement Some of the collective’s shared concerns were the need will put enough pressure on politicians for Wellington for a greater supply of state housing, the increasing residents, especially student renters, to see change. cost of rent, inaccessibility of housing (in both design “We haven’t really seen a big rally for housing and legislation), and the lack of coordination among demonstrating the key changes that we want, institutions tasked with dealing with housing issues. collaborating to show public unified demand is a powerful lobbying tool.”

Whether pathways into home ownership is needed was not agreed upon. According to Carr, some groups pushed Finding that unified focus is the way forward. We “won’t for home ownership, and others stated it was not a get work done on the big, larger-scale issue if we continue priority at the moment. to work in separate spheres”. Addressing issues “as one big group rather than in our siloes is more powerful.”

Carr said home ownership pathways are not a priority for VUWSA because the Government focus is already there, The groups involved are going back to their organisations as seen by the Government’s announcement of their plan to decide upon their involvement before the next to help first home buyers on March 23. Renters rights are Coordinating Committee meeting. The Coordinating more pressing for VUWSA. Committee is made up of 1 - 2 members from each participating organisation.

VUW STAFF AND STUDENT FILES DELETED DUE TO COMPUTER MAINTENANCE MISHAP Niva Chittock, Chief Reporter (she/her) Victoria University accidentally deleted all of its desktop files on Friday, 12 March, affecting both staff and students. Work saved to ‘Desktop’ has been lost and is irretrievable. Files stored in the H: drive, M: drive, and the cloud remain fully protected and accessible.

Photo: Computers at Kelburn campus.

Source: Saul Grant-Drummond

6

News

The wipe occurred during scheduled maintenance carried out by the University’s Digital Solutions (IT) Team. The maintenance, according to an email sent to staff by the University’s Director of Digital Solutions, was an www.salient.org.nz

5

automated task designed to “delete profiles that hadn’t been used in over 90 days.”

work. She told Salient she is “dreading” her next trip to work, as she doesn’t know yet if her own work has been restored.

The task was undertaken at night on Friday 12, and issues were first raised with Digital Solutions the following day.

VUWSA President, Michael Turnbull, has heard Staff were contacted by Digital Solutions on Sunday, 14 “anecdotal” evidence of postgraduate students having March regarding the data loss. lost their files, and says the loss is “a pretty big mistake that shouldn’t have been made by an institution this Staff were told in this email that maintenance to clear size.” disk space “may have deleted some files and changed some settings it should not have.”

He added in future the University should employ “better control measures when running maintenance in future.”

The email continued: “If you have files saved on your He said this is “fairly simple IT stuff.”

Desktop or in your Desktop Pictures or Videos folders, please stop using your PC and contact the Service Desk A spokesperson for the University confirmed both staff as soon as you can.” Salient understands staff were told and students were affected by the data loss. “Some not to log into their computers, as doing so could further students who have a staff account, use the staff domain, overwrite the deleted Desktop files. or are using a University computer were also affected.”

The spokesperson did however state that “the majority In a later email, sent on Wednesday, 17 March, the of students are not affected by the issue.”

Director of Digital Solutions confirmed only items stored on Desktops were affected. Items in the H drive, where The same spokesperson said the University continues staff can file and save personal documents, and in the to work with all affected staff and students. They said M drive, where staff members can save documents to “in many cases” lost access to files has been resolved, a relevant shared team area on the University Network, but added there are some cases involving both staff and were fully protected and still accessible. students where files could no longer be retrieved. “The University apologises for the inconvenience caused and The Director added: “we do not recommend that staff is investigating the issue to ensure it cannot happen or students ever store files only on the local disk of a again.” computer, like the ‘Desktop’.”

The news that Victoria University had accidentally Dr Joanna Kidman (Ngāti Maniapoto, Ngāti Raukawa) deleted its desktop files was originally broken by Critic, is an academic at the University currently away on field the University of Otago’s student magazine.

VUW LAW STUDENTS WIN INTERNATIONAL MOOT COMPETITION Kane Bassett (he/him) Ngāti Apa, Ngāti Kahungunu ki te Wairoa Victoria University of Wellington’s team won the 19th Red Cross International Humanitarian Law Moot Competition for the Asia-Pacific Region on March 14. Team member, Taran Molloy, also took home the title for Best Mooter.

Victoria University’s team this year was made up of three Photo: Law School, Pipitea. Source Saul Grant-Drummond students: Taran Molloy (mooter), Jono Sylvester (mooter), and Lottie Thompson (research assistant). “a soldier dressing up as a civilian, or pretending to The competition, hosted in Hong Kong, with participants surrender, when in fact they were intending to trick the from other countries participating virtually due to other side and attack.”

COVID-19, asks mooters to deal with the law of armed conflict. It is “the final step in a series of sub-regional, Taran said the shift to virtual mooting was a challenge national and local rounds that took place in 2020,” with pros and cons. He said there were expected “IT according to the International Committee of the Red problems and microphone issues,” but added it was less Cross, who jointly ran the event with the Hong Kong Red intimidating than mooting in a physical space. “You don’t Cross. see the audience all around you [...] and getting asked a question by a judge who’s just a small icon on a video call Taran, who was awarded Best Mooter, said one moot he is a lot less scary than when they’re towering over you dealt with related to the crime of treachery. This involved from a fancy dais courtroom.” www.salient.org.nz www.salient.org.nz

7

Coach and VUW Law Lecturer, Marnie Lloyd is stoked with the work the team put in this year. “They not only managed to maintain consistency but actually improved and went from strength to strength with each moot,” she says. “That is no mean feat given that the team had to moot 5 times in 4 days, online due to Covid-19, and often in the evening due to the time difference with Hong Kong.”

Kong for many years.” Marnie told Salient this was his third time coaching a winning team.

Marnie added that credit ought to be given to Professor Alberto Costi, who also coached the team. Professor Costi “has been coaching the team for the New Zealand National IHL Moot competition, and, whenever VUW gets through, the Asia-Pacific Regional competition in Hong

The team had been working with members of the legal profession from the New Zealand Defence Force, Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade, and the New Zealand Resuscitation Council since they were selected last year, in preparation for the competition.

VUWLSS President, Meghan Grant is “excited to see VUW Law Students excelling on the global stage.” She echoed Marnie’s praise for Professor Costi, but gave a shout out to Marnie as well. “We are so lucky to have a faculty that provides these opportunities to VUW students.”

OPINION: Vaping is a good, but not harmless alternative for students Kane Bassett (he/him) Ngāti Apa, Ngāti Kahungunu ki te Wairoa Vaping nicotine has become as intertwined with student culture as bottles of Nitro and two minute noodles—a necessary evil, if you will. I’ve often been the first to joke about how cool my vape is, but it’s important to remember that the habit still has risks, and it’s important to talk about them.

Vapes are non-combustible smoke delivery systems designed to heat e-liquids to create inhalable vapour.

They can be nicotine-free, but e-liquids containing nicotine are generally more of a go-to, especially for students, as nicotine provides stress relief.

Nicotine is a drug which absorbs into your bloodstream and travels to your brain, before triggering the release of the neurotransmitter, dopamine. This release occurs in the nucleus accumbens, which is the part of your brain concerned with rewarding behaviour. This process teaches your body that nicotine makes you feel good. It is addictive because your brain learns to depend on these good feelings, and when it notices you’ve stopped using nicotine, it hits you with bad ones.

The most common way to ingest nicotine is by smoking tobacco cigarettes. Burning tobacco produces toxins, which when inhaled over sustained periods of time, can cause smoking-related illnesses. It’s also expensive—I used to burn through a Port Royal 30g every three days, which cost about $180 a week. It also smells bad.

Vaping becomes a good alternative to smoking because it enables us to ingest nicotine we would otherwise find in cigarettes. It allows us to do this in a way which reduces, rather than increases, our risk of developing smokingrelated illnesses. It is easier on the pocket—for the same price as a 50g of tobacco (approximately $100), you can buy a vape, and enough pods and e-liquid to last you 2-4 weeks. It also doesn’t smell bad.

8

News

Photo: Vape on Vic uni lanyard

The promotion of vaping in place of tobacco cigarettes is also part of a collective effort to reduce the disproportionate impacts tobacco smoking has on Māori mortality rates, when compared to the same rates for nonMāori, non-Pacific (European) smokers in our country.

The point is that vaping is good if it helps you to steer away from cigarettes. It’s good because it is a real healthmeasure designed to tackle real, preventable health issues.

But this doesn’t mean vaping is totally harmless, especially for students. Regular consumption of nicotine products works to sustain an addiction, and addictions can have reallife consequences, depending on who you are.

Failure to sustain a nicotine addiction by means of financial hardship, for example, can lead to withdrawals.

These include the sweats, irritability, restlessness, an inability to concentrate, and cravings.

These withdrawals can seriously hinder our ability to function in social settings. One VUW student, Ben, recalls a week where he couldn’t afford vape supplies, and as a result, spent most of the week in bed.

“Withdrawals are always spoken about, but they’re never properly understood until you have them yourself”, says Ben, “I couldn’t even muster the motivation to catch up with a friend I hadn’t seen for years. I just could not concentrate on anything, even conversations. It was heartbreaking.”

Shit News.

It’s also harder for young University students to kick the habit, because our brains are still developing. When we introduce addictive substances into our bodies, which interact intimately with the brain, the intensity of our addiction can increase, ultimately making it harder to quit.

I have no plans to give up vaping in the near future, because it genuinely helps me on a day-to-day basis, as it does many other people and students. But in the meantime, we should extrapolate vaping from its connotations of “coolness,” and have some real, good-faith discussions about how it might really be affecting us.

Don’t mistake it for the real thing.

The state of fashion: group of Wellington students say it’s actually just all a big mistake

Eugene Pipefitter A group of Wellington youths have approached Salient with concerns that people are perceiving them as fashionable despite “really not trying at all.” Their demands? “Stop asking us how we do it”.

The group is made up of four friends, all from different areas of New Zealand.

Salient talked to Ari first, who is a member of Victoria University’s collared-shirt-wearing club. People ask Ari how he got the perfect Leo-Dicaprio-from-Romeoand-Juliet hairstyle. He recalls a message from an acquaintance saying: “how do you get your hair to sit like that?” He informed Salient that “it’s literally from not washing my hair for the last 3 years. To be honest it’s pretty gross and I don’t know why people would want to replicate it.” This ultimately frustrates Ari as he has no idea how to help his inquisitive peers.

Noah is a Newtown mechanic and works in his Dickies all day, everyday. He has been questioned about his cool NY Skater look. Comments such as “that oil stain on your pants looks so dope bro, I might do that with mine” really rile him up. “Just piss off, I’m in my work clothes”, he says.

rushed to uni and accidentally put on one Van and one Nike”, said Matt. “Some dude said ‘sick approach to your sneakers bro’, so after that I just started running with it.” He told ^Salient that fuck all effort goes into wearing two different sneakers at once, but apparently it’s still “very cool”.

Matt says this is known as the Macklemore effect. He says “Thrift Shop”, the song, meant people went to sleep untrendy one day, and woke up trendy the next. He said it’s kind of like his own little “Aw he got the velcros” moment.

Nina is the last member of the group—she has been labelled “unique” after wearing the same clothes she used to get bullied for in high school. She ashes out her dart on her Doc Martens and tells me “These [redacted] literally used to give me so much [redacted] in highschool.” She continues: “See that person over there? She uninvited me from her house party in year 10 because of ‘ratio’ and now she’s out here praising my style and copying every damn thing I’m wearing.”

All four friends say their frustration reached “boiling point” after being approached by a mutual friend to have their picture taken for her upcoming zine.

The next member of the group is Matt. He has been called a ‘sneakerhead’ by many. “One morning, I dustily www.salient.org.nz

9

The cost of being visible: Anti-Asian sentiment in the COVID age Ronia Ibrahim (she/her) CW: discussion of racial violence I recently watched Minari, an A24 film documenting a Korean-American family’s experience with moving to rural Arkansas in search of the American Dream.

It’s a heart warming, heart crushing story about the immigrant experience, and follows a strained family in their attempts to mend their relationships and uphold their cultural roots while searching for success in a new land. So yeah, devastating. I left the film sobbing, much to the dismay of the elderly Pākehā couple that I shared the theatre with that day.

The movie date was supposed to be my self care day activity, after what had been a difficult week of work stress. Lunch with my immigrant dad shortly after was difficult, with me trying to appear both cheerful and present, while inside, I was processing a million different emotions and a chicken vindaloo. The representation in that film made me feel understood in a way I hadn’t experienced before much in cinema. Though I’m not Korean, I saw my Dadu and ā pó in the family’s Halmeoni; myself in the big sister, and my own parents in the family’s crumbling marriage. The representation made me feel seen, but the visibility left me shook and shattered.

I’m quick to tell Sochetha, my fellow Asian film and media buff, about it. Our friendship revolves a lot around lengthy conversations—mostly about Asian representation and pop culture. She relays me all the goss relating to upcoming movies, awards, and K-pop Spotify meltdowns. We’ve just finished a nearly 3 hour design studio session, and, in the spirit of 1) Self care 2) Being ambitious 3) Being Asian(?), we’re trying Taste of Home for the first time. Her order is a glistening hand pulled noodle soup, mine a vegan Zha Jiang Mian. But instead of catching up on what we were up to over summer, Sochetha, whose background is Cambodian, tells me about a few weird experiences she and her family have encountered over the break.

She’s told me stories before, but she says that after COVID, uncomfortable occurrences are happening more often. She recounts some of her aunty’s strange experiences. The first instance was in a retail store

10

Feature: The cost of being visible

Photos: Stills from the 2020 film ‘Minari’

where she asked to pay cash, to which the cashier replied “Is it real?” The cashier then proceeded to take her cash and inspect it under the light. Another instance takes place at a gym during Level 2, where Sochetha’s aunty was instructed to wait outside a gym class, yet others were allowed to walk straight in. Both these stories make me raise my eyebrows. But Sochetha quickly brings up that the people at the gym and at the store “just so happened to be white”. Sure, it doesn’t seem like overt racism—or racism at all? But I can’t help but notice that, on the other hand, Sochetha’s aunty just so happened to be a premium membership gym holder, that the store just so happened to be empty. She just so happened to be at the right place at the wrong time.

Sochetha tells me of her own experiences too—one being where an eldery white man began speaking to her in Chinese, and when Sochetha apologised that she didn’t speak Chinese, he proceeded to tell his life story about working in China once upon a time, while asking about her cultural background. She admitted she felt quite stressed, especially at the volume of his voice.

“But we were passing a really loud part of the train tracks’,’ she said, “so it would’ve been hard to hear. “ I’ve had similar experiences too—where another elderly white man approached me and told me I was “lucky I didn’t need to tan” and that my skin colour “suited me”,

before patting my shoulder as he left. Sochetha’s eyes widen when I tell her this, but I shrug. The man was known to be a chatty, friendly member of my small town.

“I’m sure he meant well”, I said. “It was just funny.” Old white men just regard us as people of colour. They don’t know any better, it’s well-meaning, sweet even.

“Are you sure you want these stories?” Sochetha asks me. She’s unsure whether they’re worth sharing, worried she’s overreacting. With each story she narrates— getting cut in line at the supermarket, people standing a bit too far from her while she’s waiting in line for sushi— she’s quick to bring up excuses: it’s always busy at the supermarket, people are just socially distancing.

In an age of global anxiety and suffering, and with the help of fear mongering by leaders like Trump referring to COVID-19 as “The Chinese Virus”, targeted attacks against Asians are a response to long-existing stigmas towards Asian people in the West.

Racism has gone way beyond just jokes about eating bats, and New Zealand isn’t an exception.

According to a Human Rights’ Commision Report, in New Zealand, 54% of Chinese people had reported being a victim of racial harassment or discrimination, as of February 2021. 55% of Māori surveyed had also experienced discrimination, followed by 50% of Pasifika I put down my Zha Jiang Mian (half because I’ve realised respondents. During the last few semi-lockdowns, something, half because the spice is getting to me ridicule, mockery and hatred towards Māori/Pasifika now). “Hang on, I’m noticing a pattern here. Everytime communities and the majority non-white population of we have an uncomfortable experience, no matter big or South Auckland have also been common. Colonisation, small, we’re quick to discount our discomfort.” (These white supremacy, and racism is entrenched in our aren’t my exact words, but I like to think I made a very society, and BIPOC are often the scapegoats for any of eloquent and compelling statement) “We make excuses, our nation’s problems. brush off these instances. In turn, we blame ourselves for inviting them or feeling marginalised.”

On the night of March 16, eight people were killed in a Back in 2020 in the early days of COVID, a rise of racial harassment against Asians began to surface.

“Traumatising” accounts from people like Sally Han, who was left in fear for her safety when at a festival a couple in their 30s spilled drinks on her, grabbed her aggressively, asked her if she knew where coronavirus came from. In another instance just this month, a man was kicked out of a restaurant for verbally abusing its staff and customers. When denied of being served first, he referred to “bloody Chinese” being too slow to order, remarking “you people are always like this”. When confronted by customers, he told them to “go back to China”, and when replied to with “the Māori were here first”, he proceeded to “give a history lesson” on the debunked Moriori myth.

mass shooting targeting day spa/massage parlours in Atlanta. Six of the victims were Asian women. According to VOA News, Asian hate crimes in America have increased in triple digit percentages in some states in the past year, with New York incidents reporting an increase of 833%. Reports range from young and old being punched, stabbed, spat on, and shouted at.

Many of the victims of these crimes are of the elderly community, who are most vulnerable. I’m filled with sharp sorrow when I hear reports and see images of elderly men with swollen plum-like faces, some even left for dead. After being punched by a white man, a 76 year old Asian woman that resembles my ā pó holds a wooden stick and bravely cries “I cannot be bullied by bad guys!”

Photos: Screenshots from online articles depicting racism towards Asian people. Sources: newshub. co.nz, globaltimes.cn

www.salient.org.nz

11

The suspect of the Atlanta shootings cited his sexual addiction as the reason for targeting “the temptation” of massage parlours. Yet these businesses were Asian owned. Asian women have to deal with the cultural stereotype of being submissive, easy targets—their visibility is vulnerability. A sheriff expressed sympathy to the shooter who he believes “was having a bad day... fed up and at the end of his rope.” Fetishes don’t excuse murder. Asian women aren’t temptations for murder. “Bad days” don’t excuse killing innocent people, especially when “bad days” are the daily reality for many.

It’s clear these attacks were racially motivated.

Lionel Terry’s sentence was later reduced from death to life imprisonment, on the grounds of insanity. Reports at the time swooned for the murderer: “(he) shot a Chinaman who was too old to care much about his life […] whatever the result of his trial may be, the fact will remain that Lionel Terry is a clever man, who had the courage of his convictions.” Last year, his manifesto, shockingly, was included as a source in the NZQA Level 2 History exam.

Part of our ignorance has to do with the assumption that New Zealand is a nation void of racism or discrimination. However, time and time again, we are For many Asian immigrants, we share grief for these seeing proof that this is far from the truth. We’ve seen women we lost. Many of our women run their own that in the housing crisis, in parliament, at gyms, malls, businesses in the beauty industry; they are our and academic institutions. Last weekend, an Instagram aunts, mothers, and relatives. Many leave their home story was posted by Netsky, a DJ currently in New countries to start a better one for their families, and Zealand, which showed a few Pākehā party goers on a work tirelessly to provide for their children and relatives yacht, making mocking exaggerations of the pukana back home. These women were simply taking up their and the haka. Shanee Lal, co founder of End Conversion place in society, with values like family and hope at their Therapy NZ and a prominent youth activist, expressed forefront of their vision. their frustration on Instagram: “There are more spaces available for rich white people to be racist every day Similar attacks have happened on our shores before. than there are for BIPOC to feel safe in white New On the night of 24 September 1905, Joe Kum Yung, a Zealand”. It is appalling that this is a country that allows 68-year-old settler of Canton descent was walking down spaces for overt racism to comfortably happen, where Haining St, Wellington, when he was fatally shot in the BIPOC visibility in Pākehā spaces plays out in the form back by Lionel Terry. For years, Yung’s life story was of overt displays of mockery, condescension, and abuse. overridden by his killer, a white supremacist, and his It’s this kind of rhetoric that anyone of non-European manifesto, motives, and mental health. descent, even Tangata Whenua, are made to feel as if

In “How to be Dead in a Year of Snakes” poet Chris Tse gives a voice to Joe Kum Yung by telling his story in a poetry series that details his experience immigrating to New Zealand as a gold miner. It’s a beautiful, honest homage to Joe Kum Yung. His story, like many immigrants, is one full of bravery, love, aspiration and longing.

12

Feature: The cost of being visible

Photo: ‘How to be Dead in a Year of Snakes’ Book cover, 2014

they aren’t really a part of this country. “I was born and raised here”, Sally Han, who was harassed at a festival, told Newshub. “This is my country, this is my home [...] my safety is stripped away because of how I look, but I’m a Kiwi. People look at me like I’m not.”

immigrants. They all represented a distinctly American story. They decided to live there, raise families, start businesses, and make a better life for their families.

They loved their kids. They had histories. They were visible members of American society. Hatred tried to make them invisible.

Visibility is meant to be a form of empowerment. Minari recently won Best Foreign Picture at the Golden Globes, but many went online to express their frustration on why it deserved to be included in the Best Picture category.

Due to the majority Korean script, it was counted as a foreign picture film. All too long our languages, experiences, and cultures are otherised, as merely an artistic delight, a delicacy. Our limited celebrated visibility leaves even Asians ourselves questioning whether we are being ungrateful for demanding more inclusion and complaining about our discomfort.

Photo: Screenshot of newshub.co.nz article describing Sally Hans experience

As a South Asian presenting, half Taiwanese woman, I have the privilege to exist, in some ways, ‘invisible’ to these types of attackers. It’s important to note that the recent wave of harassment crimes are largely affecting East Asian/South East Asian people, fuelled by COVID-related fear-mongering of Chinese people, and the common misconception that “Chinese” is the only kind of Asian. Although I, and other POC’s, cannot fully understand the experience of this type of visibility, we acknowledge that we collectively struggle under the umbrella of colonisation and white supremacy.

Visibly Asian people are highly alert of their own presence. But we are also highly alert of other Asians.

Often Sochetha and I will spot an Asian-appearing student (in any of our Pākehā dominated classes) and feel some sort of silent, familial tie. We ally with them from the sidelines, and we try to hold onto our voices, for each other. I admire Sochetha’s design work, which persistently consists of activism for Asian representation and inclusion.

Delaina Ashley Yuan, Julie Park, Paul Andre Michels, Xiaojie Tan, Daoyou Feng, Hyeong Jeong Park, Yong A. Yue, Suncha Kim. Six of these women were Asian

Shockingly, sometimes I wonder whether racism even exists, or if its all in our heads. But when I dig deeper, I think it’s easy to see why I gaslight myself. Racism is both so entrenched and saturated that it sometimes feels like it only exists in the liminal realm of Stuff comments, news clips, historical accounts and notus’s. When we are uncomfortable, we are taught to not retaliate, be polite, and take up the least amount of space possible. We are taught that our existence— merely being seen—is the catalyst for our shortcomings.

Many Asian women feel the need to be invisible to protect themselves, because for them, visibility can be dangerous and deceptive. The most destructive form of racism, however, is the one that is ‘invisible’. The empty bus seat. The exaggerated “social distance”. The “harmless” fetish. The one where even the victim is left wondering whether it is real.

Tautoko your Asian friends: listen to their voices, share their stories, support their businesses. We have a lot of work to do.

www.salient.org.nz

13

Don’t Fear the Fresher Five Sarah Saunders (she/her)

CW: discussion of weight gain and disordered eating

On the kitchen floor of my first year common room, amidst the noodle packets and Nitro stains, lived a pair of electronic scales.

Many evenings I would watch as the residents of my floor stepped on to them, assessing the damage. Some, jokingly remarking upon the effects of daily Uber Eats and no more school sport, wore the number as a badge of pride. Some moaned, and made resolutions to hit the gym with a quiet panic in their eyes.

I sat silently, mentally calculating the calories in everything I had eaten that day, panic brewing in my stomach.

Commenting on this transitory period in the lives of many young people, Professor of Psychology and Acting Dean of Science at Victoria University, Marc Wilson, states: “There’s the freedom that comes from being away from the parental units, and that can set the scene for ‘new’ environmental contingencies. You have a couple of beersies three nights in a row and your hands are going to feel oddly empty on the fourth night. Old routines have been disrupted, and new ones can replace them in only three days flat.”

Fear of this weight gain had firmly implanted itself into my mind by the first day of O-Week. I began to come up with my own ways of ‘cheating’ the system—eating huge plates of lettuce in the dining hall in lieu of actual meals, working out for hours on end, and turning down invitations to anything that might involve food. I avoided the Fresher Five, but gained a terrifying and powerful eating disorder, which essentially destroyed my entire first year of university and almost forced me to drop out.

I watched as my peers had the quintessential first year experience—building meaningful connections, exploring Multiple studies have confirmed the trend of weight gain who they were as people, living spontaneously—and wondered why I’d ever decided that being thin was more among first-year university students, with individuals important. putting on an average of around 3 kg. This is generally credited to the massive change of lifestyle that While no specific studies have been done into the university presents—no more Saturday netball games prevalence of eating disorders among students, Wilson or hours on the football field, a whole lot more alcohol states that “international survey-based self-report consumption, and an increase in the consumption of research suggests that between 4% and 10% of male, energy-dense foods (thank you, J&M). and maybe 14% to 25% of female, university students report symptoms indicative of eating disorders.”

Often, the Fresher Five is brought into our consciousness before we even embark on our own university journeys—an inevitable rite of passage, or something to be unsubtly remarked upon by a rude older relative over Christmas lunch.

14 14

Feature: Don’t Fear the Fresher Five

Arguably, however, disordered eating patterns are often so normalised that they may not even be recognised as problematic. Behaviours associated with diet culture— calorie counting, fad diets, poor body image—have come to permeate our everyday existence, even becoming synonymous with ‘health’. Dietician Andrea Palmer, of Food Habits NZ, believes that a fear of fatness “holds our culture hostage,” leading to the proliferation and acceptance of disordered behaviours.

So I’m here to say this—don’t fear the Fresher Five. Sure, it’s great to maintain healthy habits as you transition into university life. A variety of food, staying active, and generally looking after yourself as much as possible will help you to get the most out of everything (and not cake it on the bathroom floor of Macdonald’s at 9 p.m. after skipping dinner and then skulling a bottle of Cleanskin).

Weight gain, however, is also a very normal part of life, especially after a massive change in circumstance.

Your body is not going to look the same as it did when you were 16, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a human. As Andrea wisely asserts—“guilt around food is more unhealthy than anything we can eat.”

Looking back, my biggest regret is missing out on so many things, just because I was so petrified of my body being a little bigger. I wish I could have poured that energy into friendships, memories, and my studies.

Ironically, when I finally began to do just that, I finally earned my Fresher Five. It was also the happiest time of my life. I carry those kilos on me today, alongside a healthy relationship with food, and a deeply full and joyful life. Reflecting upon my time as a first year, I just wish I could give my sad, scared self a hug, and show her some compassion. If you’re reading this, take it as a sign—delete MyFitnessPal from your phone, go and order some spicy chips from Camel Grill, throw out the scales, and enjoy every moment of it.

If you’re struggling with disordered thoughts or behaviours, please reach out to a health professional.

You can find Andrea and learn more about her philosophy at https://www.foodhabits.co.nz/ Free support and advice on eating disorders: https://www.ed.org.nz/ https://www.canopyeds.co.nz/

www.salient.org.nz

15 15

Smokers guide to going home Tom Andrews (he/him) 1) Do the double snap “When I finished my year 13 art board, It was about 10 p.m.; I was stressed as and went for a smoke. My mum snapped me, but I also snapped her”.

If a family member has been hiding it, you probably know they have. This can be a cunning move.

Possible problem is that your mum may have actually quit since you left home, and then you’ll just end up in the shit.

2021 has had a stressful start, and I know a fair few of us have leaned into smoking, whether that’s durries or doobies. This article is in no way endorsing this; I’m gutted that I got into smoking in first year because it caused a lot of problems for me financially and mentally. It is what it is.

With Easter coming up, the prospect of having to hide your new found habit from your family and friends is daunting.

I spoke to a few friends over some beers to find out about their tactics.

2) Go for a drive/walk/jump out the window “Fuck going for a drive was a classic back home, mum used to always ask why I stunk and I’d blame it on the neighbour who would come for the drives with me—he didn’t even smoke” This is a good one; disappearing into smoke, getting away from the family. The problem with this specific example is that you could be getting the neighbour in trouble when you really don’t need to be.

3) Start drinking and say you only do it on the piss

4) Sneak out to the garage/shed when everyones asleep

“I only smoke when I’m drinking” exclaimed my dad with his 10 a.m. whiskey and a dart. There are other problems with this statement, but this is a common excuse which, weirdly, people accept. If you and your aunt like to have mimosas in the evening, then this is the one for you! This can be tricky, as it led to me drinking every day in lockdown, which was all good and fun except that it was a really tough habit to kick after lockdown.

“We used to always smoke in [redacted]’s garage growing up, when everyone was sleeping or just the parents were at work for the day. It all stopped because his aunty came home from work, and she’s a cop so gave us the biggest growling—luckily she didn’t tell on us, but it was scary as”.

This one is a bold one; you’ll need to tiptoe very quietly and make sure your garage doesn’t smell like an ashtray or a Katchafire concert. The trick here is to make sure you’ve got some other scent to throw it off—maybe there’s hay in your shed, or if you’re suburban you can move your cat’s litter to the garage.

16

Feature: Smokers guide to going home

5) Buy a vape This is a tactic that is currently being employed by the government in their “vaping and quitting” approach with pointers such as Vaping is not harmless but it is much less harmful than smoking.

Vaping is not for non-smokers - if you don’t smoke, don’t vape If you absolutely need to, head down to your local outlet and get one so your room can smell grapey and you can work towards dropping that ciggie habit.

6) Out ya bathroom window with the extractor fan “The first time I did it was actually when my older sister and I shared our first J together. It was Christmas Eve and we were at mum’s, a no-voter, which led to us having to hide that we were very big smokers that summer. This one can also be done when on holiday at motels”.

The problem with the window is that you could be blowing it out into the street, where your neighbours can walk past and snitch on your bad habit. Just throw your towel under the door, and if you hear a knock either say you’re taking a mammoth poo or that you don’t feel too well. It will make up for when you come out with red eyes after being ‘sick’.

7) Quit “Thank the lord for lockdown at my parents’ house; I had nowhere really to go as the drive technique had been my favourite. This forced me to just quit”.

If you think this habit is shit, it kinda is—just go cold turkey if you can. Easing off is good too.

Hopefully when you come back to Uni next semester you can act like how those teachers told you to in school. I understand there are social pressures; for me it was how I bonded with friends, because that’s all they did. But as we got told growing up say: “STOP, I don’t want to smoke” For help to quit: Quitline is open 24/7 and can help you quit in a number of different ways. You can ring, text, email or do it all online.

Extra help for not getting snapped afterwards, things to avoid Cracking up at shit that isn’t funny Opening the fridge Coming home with a can of V and an ice block at 11pm Stinking of Cool charm or Lynx Africa that you haven’t worn since you were 14

Call Quitline free on 0800 778 778 or text 4006

www.salient.org.nz

17

“You know who you are” 2021 SJE

18

Mid mag break

Enjoy your break!!!

www.salient.org.nz

19

20

21

Kate Jensen “The Thinker” Part of a Sometimes Series of Happenings on Wellington Waterfront

A Faithful and a First-ti Lachlan Ewing (he/him) and Janhavi Gosavi (she/her) I’ve had a strong feeling for a while now that this year is going to be the Warriors’ year. On Saturday, 13 March, I could not have been more excited to settle in and tune into the home of rugby league, Sky Sports 4. With a crisp Lion Red in hand, we were all set to watch the Warriors’ first game of the NRL season, against the Gold Coast Titans.

Lachlan the Faithful

Experience: watched 200+ Warriors games, cried approx 30 times (Still not over the 2011 Grand Final), and played 40 minutes of preseason for Victoria Hunters Rugby League Club.

With a monstrous forward pack, talented young halves, and class outside backs, the lineup looked strong. A lot stronger than any orthodox media outlet had given them credit for in the pre-season. I’m talking “first title after 27 long years of waiting” strong.

From the kickoff, the boys looked well drilled in defence, and solid going forward. Being the first game of the season, played in the 30℃ heat of the Warriors’ home-away-from-home on the Central Coast, it was never going to be an instant classic. Both teams understandably took time to feel each other out and find their groove. This was a shame, as it was the first game of rugby league my esteemed colleague Janhavi had ever watched.

I was initially worried when it became apparent she didn’t know the difference between rugby’s two codes, league and union. However, when I heard she had never watched a game of union either, I realised this was the perfect opportunity to convert a new fan to the Warriors faith. So many of us were unfortunate enough to grow up on a diet of The All Blacks, Super Rugby, and the rest of rugby union’s soulless products. By the time we first encounter rugby league, many of us are filled with prejudices and a masochistic desire to see the ball spend half the game at the bottom of a ruck. Here I had a pure, uncorrupted mind, sitting in front of a Warriors team that was growing into the game as it went on.

Photos: Above, Tyson Ellas now famous “LETS GONE WARRIORS” sign. Middle, Roger Tuivasa-Sheck. Right, Lion Red logo, a former sponsor of the Warriors.

that sponsored the Warriors from 2001-2014, and seared its way into my childhood subconscious? Either way, it was fucking delicious.

In the second half, I changed tactics. Instead of trying to explain the game, I made an effort to draw attention to the beauty of Roger Tuivasa-Sheck. Not only is captain Tuivasa-Sheck the Warriors’ first ever winner of the Dally M Medal, their greatest athlete and all-round GOAT, he has some seriously well-formed features.

Whether it is the humble smile that God bestowed upon him, or the rippling muscles that he carved out himself with long, hard, sweaty hours in the gym, this man has something for everyone. I’m glad a life-long Warriors fan and a total beginner could at least find common ground here.

I was expecting the room to erupt when big Bayley Sironen barreled over for the first try of the season in the 25th minute. Janhavi missed it, and didn’t seem too fazed. We got to half time with the score only at 6-0, and Roger had a solid but unspectacular game, much like I was concerned the game was struggling to captivate the rest of his team. In the end, the Warriors comfortably her. closed out the game 19-6. Leeson Ah Mau and Kodi Nikorima scored second-half tries, and Chanel Tavita Equally concerningly, she didn’t seem to be enjoying Harris chipped in with a cheeky drop goal at the death. her Lion Red. Perhaps the old Leon Rouge just isn’t By the time this goes to print, I expect the Warriors that good? Rather than the taste of mass-fermented to have built on this solid foundation and be on a four maltiness, was I enjoying a warm nostalgia for the beer game winning streak. #LetsgoneWarriors!

22

Feature: A Faithful and a First-timer Take on the Footy

imer Take on the Footy Janhavi the First-timer Experience: Attended the 7s once because Dad got free tickets from his workplace

class, while the upper class favour rugby union. I also learn that league is an incredibly fragmented game.

It has a stop-and-start nature due to its rules about possession, and the jury’s out as to whether this makes it more entertaining. On one hand, I enjoy watching a heap of sweaty men piled up on a ball that miraculously does not pop. On the other hand, turnovers can get tiresome and they make observing the whereabouts of the ball challenging.

In the 25th minute, #12 from the Warriors makes a big boy run and gets, like, super far across the try line. It’s moderately impressive. The halftime commentary starts so I look over at my beer. I’m still at the neck. The NRL montages that SkySports plays during the break are far more riveting than the game itself, and I feel catfished.

We’ve tuned into the rugby five minutes after kick off because Lachlan prioritized getting his hands on Lion Reds over being punctual. His generosity knows no bounds, so naturally I have been offered a beer. I begrudgingly accept because tonight is all about being a #kiwiman.

Both the teams are clad in blue, so I’m already starting off on the backfoot here. It’s a little while before I figure out the game is between the Warriors and the … Golden State?

We’re accompanied by four of Lachlan’s male friends, and I can feel my face heating up when they ask me what I think of a certain play. Rugby chat is a codified language that outsiders like myself have never been privy to. I lack the tools to engage in these conversations, much less offer valid contributions. And it’s not like there’s much to comment on - it’s been a hot minute and not a single try has been scored. Just as I resign myself to being a silent observer, Lachlan offers to act as a translator and he starts with the basics.

There’s a certain nonchalance that comes with being a rugby regular. These boys don’t intently hang off every word the commentators say. Their colloquial critiques and organically collated know-how are seen as more credible. The second half kicks in. The Warriors almost score another try, but after a KFC closeup the decision is overturned. The lads don’t care. We’re yarning about whether we’ll have pizza or fish and chips for dinner, and why American football can eat ass. It dawns on me that when you’re watching a team that’s never won a title in their 27 year existence, you’re not actually there for the game itself.

Kodi Nikorima, who I’m assuming is a ‘half’ because he’s half the size of the rest of the team, scores a try and the non-existent Covid crowd goes wild. At some point, the Golden Girls Gold Coast Titans also score, but we miss it because we’re now sharing our personal theories on the Bain family murders. That’s how shit this game is.

Lachlan picks up on my disinterest and lures me back in with the beauty of Roger Tuivasa-Scheck. He’s the Warriors captain and clearly wears the #1 shirt for a reason. I’m not really into brawn, but it’s one last valiant attempt from Lachlan to convert me into a league fan.

The Warriors manage to yeet the ball between the posts just as the siren goes for full time, and the game is finally over with a score of 19-6. Don’t ask me where the rest of those points came from, I was busy dissociating.

I learn that professional rugby can be divided into two branches; rugby league is often played by the working www.salient.org.nz

23

SHIT'S FUCKED The Labour Government’s housing announcement was a hoax.

Nicole Geluk-Le Gros (she/her) Housing infrastructure funding? That’s actually just more money for roads!

Increasing price caps and eligibility for first home buyer support? Congratulations, you’re facilitating intergenerational transfer of wealth and supporting the continued creation of an inherited landed elite.

Extending the bright-line test? Well okay I’ll give them that, but what do you expect it to do? IRD themselves said in 2018 that more than two thirds of sales that should have been subject to the bright-line tax, weren’t—and it was likely to get worse the longer an investor owned a property (e.g…. If you change the test from 5 years to 10). The PM has said they don’t want prices to drop, so what’s the point? It might (*might*) slow the increase from now? That still leaves us with frankly unimaginable prices today, and no end in sight.

Five months into their second term, has Labour run out of ideas already? Unfortunately, they can’t even look to the Greens for ideas. The “shovel-ready” part of the Green Party’s election housing policy is all about climate change—insulation, heating, energy consumption and solar panels—to the detriment of the “social responsibility” pillar of their charter. They have some good-sounding ideas to increase Government and community housing, but nothing that addresses the supply issues that KiwiBuild ran into which surely persist.

The Labour Party is still just attempting to manage the public fallout over housing costs rather than the actual problem. The Green Party continues to be blind to the real solutions, and instead attempts to green-wash capitalism.

Te Paati Māori has been cut out of power, and did spend part of the election promoting racist immigration policy as part of the solution. The National Party continues to focus on… making it easier for developers to make money The Kainga Ora borrowing increase—buying more land but off of the crisis? Hard to tell what their actual ideas are, the same building target, so… plugging an existing budget they’re so focused on gotcha politics (which is, admittedly, hole and calling it a boost? working).

Apprenticeships are great, but this is education money, not housing money—more people to build unaffordable homes and renovate multi-million dollar villas isn’t going to help with affordability.

Not only do the policies announced last week do nothing to help the people who need it most—remember renters?—but the main three aren’t even Labour’s idea!

They have roots in National’s panicked scramble to be seen to respond to the housing crisis ^over five years ago^ in 2015/16: - Housing Infrastructure Fund - $1B to help councils build infrastructure—July 2016 - Bright-line test—a National policy implemented in 2015 - First Home Grants and Welcome Home Loans— structured into their current form by National in 2015

24

Columns:: What’ ShitssFucked / $10big Jugs Feature the bloody deal?

What should we be looking for instead? Rent controls.

Property manager regulations. Requirements to advertise expected price points. Far greater freedom for renters to make their house a home. Sure, an actual capital gains tax—including on the family home—but that’s not a magic bullet. Livable incomes and benefit increases. Changing base policy assumptions in superannuation and retirement away from an unstated requirement to own a home freehold to survive.

We need to have an open and honest conversation about what we actually want to achieve in housing policy. Do we want housing to be an investment? A way to get ahead to the detriment of others? Or do we want to actually transform our system, treat homes like the human right they are, and give the Government a mandate to actually provide that right? Whatever direction we do go in, let’s have that conversion as a country before we start ruling things out or implementing underwhelming responses.

Hunter Lounge

This week we are looking at our local, situated on Vic’s Kelburn campus, Level 3 of the Student Union building— The Hunter Lounge.

Here they serve a regionally loved beer, the drop from everyone’s favourite lighthouse, Castlepoint lager.

Castlepoint is a marvelous beach located 166 km from this bar, and I’ll tell you it is such a good spot. I went there with a group of mates late last year, and it was one of my best weekends since moving to this part of the country.

In terms of drinkability, this is a very easy drop, and I would put it up there with one of my favourite tasting $10 jugs. It’s inoffensive and goes well with some curly fries or one of their pizzas. A clean 4% beer with amber colouring. Some bloke online called Matt H said that it was “an ale so balanced and inoffensive, that I can literally taste the savings.”

Imagine having such a decent $10 Jug, on campus.

The location is bloody perfect. If you’ve just finished a Political Science lecture and you need a beer to cure your sads about the state of the world, head on down to your local. With good music playing, pool and table tennis happening, the Hunter Lounge has some top level $10 jug action.

If you find the music too loud, a pro-tip is to go upstairs to the mezzanine. This puts you above the speakers, so you and your drinking partner can converse freely.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name This is a hub for social interaction and oftentimes a venue in which club events are held. I’ve been to political quiz nights here, watched sports on the projector—I’ve even been told they had the Biden vs

Size:

2 and a half pints

Availability:

Every day

Trump debates up for those who were interested—and more recently the Greens hosted an event where you could have pints with politicians Dr Elizabeth Kerekere and Jan Logie.

The bar staff are always nice and make you feel welcome; it’s just pretty tops.

Last year in Salient, we mentioned that this would be a good date spot. After reading that article, I tried it out and succeeded. Sadly, neither of us were interested in going on another date, but it is a good place for a date, whether for romantic or studying purposes.

You can also hire the Hunter Lounge as a wedding venue (according to their website), which makes me think, when I meet the right person that this may have to be the venue for our reception. My future spouse and I will have our first dance to Dave Dobbyn & Ardijah classic “You Oughta Be In Love” from the Footrot Flats: The Dog’s Tail Tale soundtrack.

The best time to go is probably when they have 2 for 1 margarita pizzas on a Friday, which are available from 3 p.m. onwards.

This is a homely spot to escape the hustle and bustle of university life on Kelburn campus. If you are at Pipitea it’s a $3.50 cable car ride up, or if you’re at Te Aro it’s a $2.50 cash fare bus ride. If you are a multi-campus student, you can go to the VUWSA reception and get a free 10 trip pass added to your Snapper.

I love this place, and I hope that you do too.

Go have a beer here to celebrate the Mid-Tri break— you deserve it Yours sincerely, $10 Jugs

www.salient.org.nz www.salient.org.nz

25

Your friendly guide through the trials and tribulations of student living.

Rant about your flatting issues and we’ll find a solution.

By Ash Bestos

Problem of the week: “I think one of my flatmates has started selling drugs. People keep showing up at weird hours.

I kinda want to score off them, but also don’t feel comfortable with someone selling drugs out of the house. “ You don’t want to offend your flatmate by calling them a drug dealer when they aren’t. Approaching them only to discover the people that have been showing up are your flatmates booty calls that they’ve invited over when the mood strikes would be an awkward situation. Next time someone pops by at a weird time, casually ask who came by the flat. They might be honest with you and straight-up say that they’re selling drugs. Or they might be cagey and unwilling to tell.

Another thing you could do is keep an eye out to see if they happen to have a lot of cash on hand. We live in a world where pretty much everyone uses bank cards, and seeing cash being used is an odd sight. It could always just be the person’s preferred method of spending, so they don’t go over budget each week and only spend the cash they take out. Not overly likely, but still a possibility.

Knowing what they’re selling will impact if you actually want to score off them. Look, I’m not advocating for you to partake in any illegal activity here, but let’s be real, you’re all students. I’m not going to pretend like it won’t have crossed your mind. If they’re selling something that you’d willingly indulge in, then great! You know who to ask next time you want to smoke a phat cone. However, if they’re selling anything that you know is bad news, then you should probably stick to trying to get them to stop selling from the flat. If you want to test the drugs to make sure they’re legit, then hit up COSMIC on Cuba Street and get yourself a drug testing kit. You may trust your flatmate, but whatever you take is still going in your body. Better safe than sorry.

Regardless of if you want to score off them or not, the flat is your home as well as theirs. You both need to be comfortable in it. That includes the type of side-business that occurs within the flat. Assuming you have multiple flatmates, you might not be the only one who has a problem with this, especially if they’ve only recently started this venture.

Try asking them if there’s any way they could meet the people who are always coming over somewhere else. Having guests come over is chill. Having customers come over at weird hours in search of a high is not. You don’t want to be coming out of the shower wrapped up in a towel looking and like a drowned rat, only to discover a stranger in your flat looking to score.

They may try and justify it and say this is their only source of income. I get it. Student living is tough, and having a job is a necessity for so many students to be able to afford crazy rental prices and groceries. Good for them that they’ve found a way to survive. That doesn’t mean they’re entitled to make a shared living space the front for their business.

Seeing as people keep appearing from who-knows-where to make the deal, then surely there’s a place outside of the flat where they can meet them instead. You could even make a list of alternative places for their business. Just don’t send them anywhere too dodgy. I once had a friend tell me about the time they unwittingly found themselves in the back of a beat-up car in a graveyard at 3 a.m., witnessing a drug deal for meth, so maybe don’t put any graveyards on that list.

Need a flat disagreement sorted out? Want to know if you’re the asshole? From minor issues to major ones, send a question to flatchat@salient.org.nz

26

Columns: Flat Chat / UniQ / VUWSA

They Vati-CAN, but they Vati-WON’T Rosie van Beusekom (she/they)

In a turn of events that was absolutely shocking for every queer person ever, the Vatican has spoken out against blessing gay unions. Even though this decision was completely out-of-the-blue, somehow we are still holding it together.

We have all been here before in some way or another.

Whether it be waiting until you’re out of your parents’ house before wearing the clothes that you want, or knowing to never come out to *that one friend*. We are well versed and rehearsed in the art of tiptoeing into a space, realising that this place isn’t for us, and then tiptoeing out. It makes turning up to the wrong lecture a much less awkward experience.

But it’s always times like this when the rainbow community starts to transform itself. We move quietly and gently, standing in the gap and cloaking our members in love and power. We allow our members with faith to lean into us for support, and we also form a shield against those who work to harm us.

This phenomenon is queer, and it is queer. The rainbow community (except for transphobes, you don’t count) have always maintained an “all for one and one for all” kaupapa. And we do so with such grace and ease. So, yes, we are unsurprised by this announcement—some of us may even be bitter and jaded. But moreso, we are prepared.

And don’t worry, Pope Francis—we’ll pray for you.

Michael Turnbull (he/him) VUWSA President Kia ora koutou, School’s almost out for Easter! And just like our man Jesus, our spirits will rise after the metaphorical crucifixion that was the beginning of the year. Two sweet weeks of relaxation, bliss, and cruelly timed assessment due dates. What could be better?

Take some time to rest, catch up with mates, and have some down-time. But we all know what down-time rhymes with. That’s right... town-time! For those of us sticking around in Wellington over Mid-Tri break, town is a humming place to go on a Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, or even Monday night. You have time to sleep off a hangover, and Studylink to burn.

But if you’re a member of everybody’s favorite city-wide Facebook page, “Vic Deals”, then you’ve probably been kept up to date with how unsafe, and straight up shit, town has been lately. There are a lot of people who have been sharing their awful experiences in town. I won’t go into them in detail here, but these posts and discussions have highlighted that town has not been a safe space for anyone, particularly women and feminine presenting people in our community.

Something does need to change. More needs to be done by our local council and regulatory bodies to ensure that the nighttime economy of Wellington is an accessible and positive space for everyone.

But at the same time, it’s up to us town-goers to be a part of the solution, especially us lads. We can be a part of the solution by being an active bystander, by calling your mates out on their gross behavior. Also, by setting a good example around consent, respect, and not being a creep in town. Let’s change this culture, together.

If you, or anyone you know, has been affected by the issues mentioned in this column, there are numbers you can call for 24/7 support: HELP: 04 801 6655 Rape Crisis Line: 04 801 8973 Safe to Talk: 0800 044 334

www.salient.org.nz

27

Student Wellbeing The Bubble Leaders, Manawa Ora Student Wellbeing

Review of O-week drinking Survey O-week is notorious for many things; lanyards, togas, lost looking freshers and, of course, alcohol. As student wellbeing leaders we wanted to design an activity to run in O-week that wouldn’t shame students drinking habits, but instead encourage them to think about how they could stay safe and still have a good time. We agreed the key to a successful night out was to keep track of how many drinks you’ve had, pace yourself and take lots of snack breaks. After lots of discussion we realised that keeping track of how much you’ve had to drink is impossible if you don’t even know what a standard drink looks like.

We set up in the Bubble and down at Kelburn Park at the welcome festival and asked over 150 students to pour what they thought 1 standard of their favorite alcoholic drink was into a cup. We then compared this to the actual size of a standard and, as expected, the majority of students were pretty heavy handed when it came to pouring their drinks. Even those who were quite accurate admitted they would definitely pour themselves a larger drink if they weren’t being judged on their ability to measure a standard.

We followed up this activity with a quick survey and we were so proud to hear that every student we spoke to knew that that you can’t give consent while under the influence.

Some of our survey participants gave some helpful tips when you realise you need to slow down. We know it’s inevitable that you or a friend will have one of those nights where you have a few too many drinks. Swap your next round for water, make sure to stop by maccas on the way home and if in doubt stay with your mates until you know they are safe.

Look after each other, drink safe and have fun.

Mauri Ora Neill Amundberg — Mauri Ora Business At Student Health we are excited to announce that we are launching our first ever patient portal. This will provide registered students with a secure online platform for accessing health information and give the ability to book and cancel appointments without having to make a phone call. The portal can be accessed from your computer and can also be downloaded as an app to any mobile device. Some of the key features include: -

28

Booking/cancelling appointments Make repeat prescription request View the medications you are on See your immunisation history Send and receive secure messages to and from your GP or a nurse Conveniently access video consultations through the app Access to online health and wellbeing resources

Columns: Flat Chat / UniQ / VUWSA

Later in the year, consultation records, medical notes, and lab results will all be available to view and access on the portal.

As well as being both convenient and accessible, the portal allows users to better participate and partner in the management of their healthcare.

We hope that you will be as excited about this news as we are, and if you have any questions then feel free to drop in and see us. Student Health is located on Level 1, Student Union building, Kelburn, and on the Mezzanine Floor, Rutherford House, Pipitea.

If you would like to register as a patient then you can do so in person or online by following the instructions on our website: https://www.wgtn.ac.nz/student-health-counselling/ costs/registration

Women's Writes On being Asian and Invisible Olivia Lu (she/her) CW: discussion of racial violence

Reading about violence is always hard. When I saw the Subtle Asian Traits (an online community for the Asian diaspora) post about the shooting in America that primarily killed people of Asian descent, I felt heavy. In a way, I wasn’t shocked. Anti-Asian racism has always existed, and after COVID with Trump calling the virus “Kung Flu” and “The China Virus”, anti-Asian rhetoric and violence has seen a significant increase. And yet, I still felt odd talking about how I felt. The issues that Asians face are usually forgotten about, and I’ve learnt to deal with casual racism on a case-by-case basis, and to not make a big deal out of them.

I’ve experienced a lot of “where are you really from?” and “what exactly are you?” throughout my life. I didn’t use to think much of them, but after everything that’s happened over the past year they’ve begun to feel like little reminders that no matter how long and how deep my connection is with this country, because I look different I will be treated as though I’m ultimately not from here, and that this country isn’t my real home.

Being Asian sometimes feels like a weird thing. As a racial group, it feels as though we are invisible. Our stories are not told, they barely have a presence in the mainstream. Our history in New Zealand, missing from most school curriculums. Our presence in positions of power, small. We’re even left out of statistics with racial breakdowns, despite making up more than 15% of the population. Even when issues of race are discussed, Asians are barely mentioned, and it’s not because we don’t face any racism. It comes in the form of microaggressions, casual racist comments and jokes, social exclusion, and stereotypical assumptions. The little things hurt, and they build up. The everyday racism together with structural racism creates an environment where Asian lives are seen as less interesting, less valuable, less human, and more expendable. And because Asian voices have been so often ignored, our issues are unknown so we stand largely alone.

I want to be acknowledged. I want to feel real. I want our stories known. I want solidarity between all minority groups. I want a stop to ridiculous representations of I remember watching videos last year of elderly Asian characters in the media. I want to never again see Asians being yelled at, chased, spat on, attacked, and an elderly Asian person the target of racial violence. I sometimes killed; blamed for bringing COVID to America want the world to remember what unites us as human and other countries. They stand or run, petrified. beings, rather than what divides us.

Sometimes I can’t watch the videos—they’re too personal, too painful, too heartbreaking. Although I don’t know these victims personally, I do know them in some way. Because, like me, they share the experience of being an Asian person living in a Western country that is built on a white supremacist framework. All the violence and killings that target Asians creates a shared trauma in the community, because you know that these acts come from Asians being seen as more different than the same.

www.salient.org.nz www.salient.org.nz

29

Review

Music

What’s on in the Local Music Scene?

Oli Cheyne (he/him)

Congratulations everyone, you have almost made it to the Mid-Trimester break and are getting ready to gorge yourselves on chocolate eggs laid by a mystical rabbit, as Christian tradition dictates. As you recover from the sleepless nights studying and painstaking over MLA and APA referencing systems, perhaps unload your stress by attending one of the many musical showcases that are on in April throughout the city.

On the off chance that you find yourself stumbling around town on a school night, the likelihood of you coming across live music is rather high. Be it a couple of buskers on Cuba Street playing Riptide on the ukulele; a bald, middle-aged man playing acoustic guitar at a sports bar (cue “Wonderwall”); or some sexy jazz band at Rogue & Vagabond, you will always find a suitable musical accompaniment to warm your soul. And let’s not forget the local staple, Eyegum Wednesdays at San Fran—who can pass up $6 pints and a healthy dose of second-hand smoke on the balcony?

So many things to do, and it isn’t even the weekend yet! Some may say we are spoilt for choice, and I’m inclined to agree. I implore you, dear readers, to embrace impulsivity; stop studying, and go out to a gig. Always carry a crisp $20 note and a fully charged vape, and you are guaranteed to have fun.

The next few weeks are littered with sublime lineups of local artists, and a few big names passing through the town every weekend or so. If you are looking for a big day in the park surrounded by lovely faces and even lovelier music, then look no further than Peachy Keen, a festival at Basin Reserve on April 3. Headlined by faves like BENEE, Ladi6, Chelsea Jade, and The Beths, to name a few, it is the biggest women-led and focused fest in Wellington, and is looking like it will be a day to remember. Over the past few years, the spotlight has been put on the music industry, particularly around the issue of gender diversity and inclusion. Highlighted within the Amplify Aotearoa: NZ Music Community Diversity Survey from 2019, over 70% of women and gender-diverse people in the music industry experienced bias or discrimination based on their gender. Festivals like Peachy Keen are absolutely vital in challenging and changing the proverbial boys club that has been entrenched in the industry for too

30

Music

long. Wellington is no exception to this, and everyone— artists, promoters, and fans—all must keep pushing to break these barriers to create a fair arts scene for all.

This article should serve as a timely reminder that the 25th Newtown Festival has been rescheduled for Sunday, April 11. Boasting 15 stages and 420 stalls, this is sure to have something for everyone, from the little nippers to the golden-oldies and all those in between.

My picks for the day are Estère, who will be gracing the South Stage at 4:15 p.m. with her trademark melting pot of grooves and melody to immerse yourself in, and DARTZ, playing at the Creeps Rock n Roll Street Party Stage at 7:30 p.m., so be sure to get down and rowdy there.

If you’re ever stumped as to what to do on the weekends, VMorg has announced a series of gigs each Saturday in April. Joining up with the promoters

Photos: Left, Live music at past Newtown Festival. Bottom left, Peachy Keen 2021 logo.

Below, Local music venue Meow, by Saul Grant-Drummond

Banshee Club, Peach Promotions, and Garbage Records, these four gigs are promising the best of what is going on in Wellington at the moment. Local legends Wiri Donna, Miss Cressida, Sofia Machray, and Nic & Reuben feature in the stacked lineups across four weekends playing San Fran, Meow, and Valhalla. Each show is a triple-headliner, so take your pick, or avoid having to choose and go to all four shows!

Aotearoa is in an incredibly special spot, considering we are able to continually have gigs to attend in this day and age—but we must not take this for granted.

While Jacinda decides if she wants to be a centrist or not and tackle poverty or the housing crisis, and while old mate Grant ponders whether arts programmes are superfluous to the future of Vic Uni, we need to continue to foster and support creative networks in the city. We can do this through listening to music, buying merch, paying for gigs, and lifting everyone up to show how fucking amazing artists in our little city are. This needs to extend past music, too—go to galleries, go to the theatre, buy artworks, share ideas, and spread the love. In my mind, having one month dedicated to music created on these shores isn’t enough, considering commercial radio stations only play NZ music between 10-20% of the time. Every month should be NZ music month.

Hey Pipitea campus, I'm your new lunch date.

Krishna Food serves tasty, vegan and affordable eats at Pipitea campus too!

You can find us in Government Buildings (GB) in the common room. Enter through the gate on the corner of Stout and Whitmore streets and you'll see ou our signs. Open Mon-Fri, 11-2pm.

www.salient.org.nz

krishnafood.co.nz | 0272208475

31

Review

Fringe Festival

Student Fringe Shows Janhavi Gosavi (she/her)

This Is Fine: A Musical

Campfire Calamity

This Is Fine derived its name from that viral meme where an indifferent cartoon dog is encompassed in flames. It’s a COVID-19 allegory: when the pandemic burned a hole into our social lives, Gen-Zers compensated by leaning on the internet. Originally devised over lockdown by VUW students who were in THEA 302 in 2020, the musical navigated the perks and pitfalls of social media dependency.

Campfire Calamity was a show made with good intentions and a lot of heart. An original play, it was written and directed by Isaac Andrews and Stacey Dalziel, who are students at Te Auaha. The show takes place on a high school camping trip, and follows five students as they develop unlikely friendships and reveal their internal struggles in the process.

Presented by Theatre of Love

A fun variety of personalities make up the ensemble, including obnoxious influencer Chelsea Cherry, ambitious wannabe Tahlia, internet troll Ron, and closeted dreamer Baylee. Linda (Ottilie Bleackley) struck me as the underdog of this play. While the rest of the ensemble could fit into recognisable internet archetypes, Linda’s unpredictable character development allowed her to break the mould of what one would consider a ‘cool mum’. A mother struggling with empty nest syndrome, her adventures into the dark web enabled her to break free from her marriage and hilariously pursue a life of underground crime.

Linda often shared the stage with her introverted and endearing college-bound daughter Aggie (Phoebe Caldeiro), and the two became my favorite characters.

Aesthetically, this show gave me small-scale Dear Evan Hansen vibes. The set design was clean and effective; hanging phone-shaped frames through which the characters could address the internet. Chelsea would often stand inside the centre frame, and her followers would occupy the surrounding frames, gushing sickening compliments that gave me purposeful secondhand embarrassment.

At times, the writing felt like it pandered to an older demographic who have preconceived notions about how shallow and self-obsessed Gen-Z are. The dialogue occasionally came off as patronising and cringe, which prevented me from fully relating to the characters.

Some musical numbers were hits, others were misses, and a few blew my metaphorical socks off. “Swipe Right” made me wheeze with laughter, as it accurately pinpointed the niche archetypes students see on Tinder.

Another highlight was “Social Media Deadlands”, which took place in a graveyard full of irrelevant memes and hit me with waves of nostalgia and repressed memories.

32

Review: Fringe

Presented by Ace and Isaac

When sitting in close quarters with actors at a small black box theatre, simple set design works best. A fire glowed downstage and the actors formed a semi-circle around it, facing the audience who formed the other half of the circle.

Upon entry, each character did an impassioned selfintroductory monologue. Sox (Ace Dalziel) ranted about using they/them pronouns and fending off fatphobia.

Xavier (Isaac Andrews) explored his queer identity while failing to understand the logistics of bro hugs. On the plus side, this coming of age story boldly celebrated queerness in all shapes and forms. However, it operated on a counterintuitive ‘tell-not-show’ model, which didn’t give the audience the opportunity to come to their own conclusions.

The dialogue sometimes felt unnatural and inauthentic to the demographic it was representing. It depicted Gen-Z as an inarticulate generation who communicated solely through profanity, and this lack of nuance prevented suspension of disbelief. That being said, Kyle (Jasper James) made me laugh because he kept referring to women as “females”. It was a subtle way to cement him as a textbook misogynist, yet he wasn’t given as much time as other characters to evolve.

But Campfire Calamity wasn’t just shits and gigs.

Xavier was hauntingly beautiful in an intimate scene that discussed self harm, and Sox delivered a powerful retaliation to being repeatedly misgendered. The characters that did blossom proved able to deliver hard hitting truth bombs.

Potluck

Please Laugh

Presented by Kiya Basabas

Presented by Danny and Fin

Food is the love language of Filipinos, a point that the original play Potluck drove home. It was written and directed by VUW student Kiya Basabas, who won the award for Most Promising Emerging Artist at this year’s Best of Fringe awards. Linda (Fergielyn Catayoc) was the female protagonist who found out she was pregnant with her Pākehā boyfriend’s child. The audience watched her tip-toe around with this secret as she attended a potluck at her parents’ house, surrounded by family friends.

As a semi-regular consumer of theatre, I walk into every show aching for my expectations to be subverted.

Before entering a performance space, I usually scroll through the show’s social media posts and have a good read of their programme to prepare myself. Please Laugh didn’t have a programme. It had a Facebook page, but that was filled with vague claims that the audience would “laugh their socks off”, with no clear indication as to how that would happen. I had no idea what they had in store for me, so much so that I didn’t even intend on reviewing this show.

It was a beautiful creative choice to set Potluck on the backdrop of Matariki. Characters ate adobo whilst discussing the maramataka—a heartwarming amalgamation of Filipino and Māori culture. The men ate their meal gathered around the television, while the women chatted at the table. The women’s dinner conversation topics felt unnatural and contrived—it was the men’s conversations that I was invested in. With the basketball blaring in the background, these grown Asian men discussed mental health and unrealised dreams, and it was refreshing to see them holding space for each other. Kiya understood that, above all, small pockets of intimacy were what made a potluck successful. This not only created visual interest through a split stage, it was an accurate portrayal of the gender segregated dining that is common in Asian cultures. As an Asian immigrant myself, my heart swelled everytime I noticed one of these subtle cultural nuggets that Pākehā audiences might have glazed over.

Potluck boldly catered to its Filipino audience by incorporating a lot of Tagalog and culturally-informed inside jokes into the script. There was a helpful glossary of terms at the back of the programme for non-Tagalog speakers, but I still didn’t get many of the references.

I didn’t feel alienated by my lack of understanding; I had received an authentic peek into the lives of KiwiFilipinos, and I realised that not everything said on that stage was meant to be understood by me.

Sometimes, saying less is more. This comedy was written and directed by real life “best friends” Danny and Fin. I say “best friends” because the show was centered around a conflict they had over who was the superior comedian and friend. This through-line was peppered with an array of skits—which were either fully scripted or semi-improvised—that made me want to pee myself.

In a good way.

The stage was dressed with a basic living room set up, but they had a live band sitting stage left of the main action, which was a lovely touch. Danny made some questionable jokes that didn’t always land. Their “Miss New Zealand” segment was one of many standout skits.

Cast members Lucy and Ava performed quick costume changes to capture hilarious female archetypes from various cities. The skit wrapped with Miss Hamilton, who had blood-soaked hands from killing three people outside her local Pak N Save.

Full disclosure: I knew the cast because we went to halls together. Would I have laughed as hard—or at all—if I was not already personally invested in their interpersonal dynamics? Maybe not. But I loved the show for what it was—a chaotic first Fringe show presented by disheveled BA students from VUW.

www.salient.org.nz

33

A Histor Hot Cro Sally Ward (she/her)

It’s hard to say where exactly hot cross buns came from, but there are several hot contenders and some standout events.

Back in the day, Egyptians made celebratory buns marked with ox horns to offer to the Goddess of the Moon. The Ancient Greeks also made bun derivatives to mark the winter turning to spring. Archaeologists have even found evidence of cross marked buns in Pompeii.

So decorative buns have been used to mark moments for a long time. …

Photos: Left, Hot Cross Buns baked

by Sally Ward Above, The Widow’s Son Pub Above right, St Alban’s Cathedral Right, Queen Elizabeth I

I wanted to speak to an Easter expert, so I got in contact with Geoff Troughton, who is the programme director of Cultural and Religious studies here at VUW, and specialises in lots of things including the history of Christiantiy. Here is what he had to say, summarised: The first recorded Easter celebrations were in the second century CE. Early Chritian communities practised the Jewish Sabbath, but also worshipped before dawn (the big resurrection day) on Sunday.

times) and they symbolise new life. Before the Easter bunny, it was actually an Easter hare. This change happened in the 19th century as Easter became more “domesticated and child focused”.

In the Northern Hemisphere, Easter falls around the vernal equinox (when the sun lines up with the equator and day and night are of equal length, which was celebrated fiercely in pagan ritual). Many argue that Easter is a refashioned seasonal celebration of this time of new life and hope. An early Christian historian, Bede, claimed that English Christians were borrowing from a festival that celebrated Eostre, the pagan Goddess of Fertility (weirdly similar name?) This is not the only theory—Easter also has links to the Jewish Passover, the French name for Easter being Pâques.

...

Other treats like Easter eggs have been around for ages (the custom of decorated eggs is a thing from Medieval

34

Hot Cross Buns

Somewhere along the way hot cross buns became part of Easter celebrations. The cross, of course, is said to represent Jesus’ crucifixion.

In the 14th century, Brother Thomas Rocliffe, a monk at The Alban Abbey, is said to have created an original recipe containing flour, eggs, yeast, “fruits of paradise”, and cardamom.

An article in the Herts Advertiser of 1862 wrote of Thomas’ industriousness: “It is said that in a copy of ‘Ye Booke of Saint Albans’ it

ory of oss Buns magical. If you hung them from the rafters they would ward off evil spirits. If you saved one, you could feed it to sick people and cure them of disease. If you shared it with a loved one, it guaranteed friendship—“half for you and half for me, between us two, good luck shall be”, as an old Irish saying goes.

In 1592, Queen Lizzy I passed a law banning the baking of these buns, except on Christmas, Good Friday, and funerals. This was so that the magical properties of the buns were not abused. As with any poorly designed law, people just carried on making them at home and eventually the law was rescinded.

was reported that; ‘In the year of Our Lord 1361 Thomas Rocliffe, a monk attached to the refectory at St Albans Monastery, caused a quantity of small sweet spiced cakes, marked with a cross, to be made; then he directed them to be given away to persons who applied at the door of the refectory on Good Friday in addition to the customary basin of sack (wine). These cakes so pleased the palates of the people who were the recipients that they became talked about, and various were the attempts to imitate the cakes of Father Rocliffe all over the country, but the recipe of which was kept within the walls of the Abbey.’ The time honoured custom has therefore been observed over the centuries, and will undoubtedly continue into posterity, bearing with it the religious remembrance it is intended to convey.”

Hot cross buns were religious symbols, but also steeped in superstition. It was believed that buns baked on Good Friday would not go mouldy because they were in fact,

In a particularly poignant tale, there was a widow who baked hot cross buns for her sailor son on Good Friday, in the hope that he would return safely from sea. He never did, but she kept on making them. She hung them in her window, year after year, without taking the old ones down. Her kitchen is now a pub called The Widow’s Son, which still operates in London. The pub now has a tradition of hanging hot cross buns in a net above the bar each year.

Hot cross buns were ostensibly brought to NZ by Christian colonisers, and now we see them in all the supermarkets. Some people feel that chocolate hot cross buns are a travesty, and others prefer chocolate over “fruits of paradise”. I think the fruity ones are absolutely delicious baked fresh with orange zest and served with cinnamon butter.

One News reported on NZ’s Best Hot Cross Bun Baker for 2021. The results for first to third were Marcus Braun and Shane Hancox of Artisan Café (Rangiora Bakery), Sydenham Bakery in Christchurch, and Timaru’s U-bake.

And that’s on that. www.salient.org.nz

35

Crossword: Have Fun!

36

ACROSS

DOWN

1. Small stream (5) 4. With 27-Across, director and star of ‘Modern Times’ (7,7) 8. Types of works made by directors in this puzzle (6,5) 9. Spans (7) 13. Creation (5) 17. With 18-Across, director and star of ‘Sherlock, Jr.’ (6,6) 18. See 17-Across 19. Follows orders (5) 22. Needle (7) 26. 1925 movie made by one of the directors in this puzzle (3,4,4) 27. See 4-Across 28. Part of a step (5)

1. Statues of heads (5) 2. Type of transport ship (5) 3. East African nation (5) 4. Parts of a shirt (5) 5. Make up on the spot (2,3) 6. Beam of light (5) 7. One of the planets (5) 10. Lead weight on a string (5) 11. Way in (5) 12. Inky (4) 14. Citizen of Baghdad (5) 15. Song by Cisquo ‘_____ Song’ (5) 16. Vodka brand stylised in all-caps (4) 19. Of sight (5) 20. Beyond what is needed (5) 21. Nick (5) 22. Part of a silverware set (5) 23. Method of tracking planes (5)

Puzzles

Skuxdoku

Word of the Week

“family” Te Reo Māori whānau New Zealand Sign language

Last Weeks Answers

www.salient.org.nz

37

EVENTFINDA/DOOR. MOON PIZZA RULES

D Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Look at me, look at me, look at me!

I’ve got one word to say to you Aries, opportunity. Start that project you’ve always been too scared to, the right doors are opening up—all you have to do is not walk into the glass. And look out for angel numbers, e.g 222, 444, 777.

The word on the street this week is that you’re a little conflicted.

Whether this is about downloading a dating app, splurging out on an iced latte instead of a long black, or deciding to forgive your flatmate, think hard; there’s no room for haste.

Seems like your life is swarming in nothing but fake friends, but it’s all in your head—you know who the real ones are—you just have to be the one to reach out before close ties become loose ends. And relisten to ^Channel Orange^, your fate depends on it.

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

I’m not gonna tell you what it is, but something’s coming and it’s gonna be big. There’s not much else you can do, so keep slurping those twominute noodles and be ready to find a green crystal or something like that. It’ll all be clear, just wear your rose-tinted glasses for a little while.

That thing you ordered from overseas has been delayed, again. But the good news is, money is coming your way soon. Don’t invest in crypto though, it doesn’t look good for you.

Do start writing into your diary— but don’t ask me why, I’m just the messenger here.

What’s love got to do with it?

Apparently everything this week, Virgo. Whether this is making room for self-love, planning a date with your partner, or meeting someone new, it’s the time. Remember your favourite candle or insense, your best sex playlist, and don’t wink at people—that’s just a bit weird.

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Sunday’s full moon was in Libra, which means you’re feeling lucky!

You’re winning, and not only at Buzz with your flatmates, but at everything. Have a baked potato for dinner and enjoy this week. Don’t forget your doctor’s appointment on Thursday.

You, simply, are the scene in Shrek 2 when Puss in Boots does the big adorable eyes. Seriously though, you’re exuding charm, but just make sure you know what and who you want.

So you broke the toaster, it’s okay.

You could try to fix it or just buy another one—but most importantly you could take this as a sign to be more present, and let go of whatever is consuming your thoughts. No sweat; it’s not your first rodeo.

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Ooo, you’re a bit ruthless this week. Loving the confidence, but not the time for it B, you might hurt someone else if you’re not careful. Think about what is actually bothering you, take a breath and a moment before you act. Maybe try baking!

It’s time to have a think about reconnecting with yourself and your purpose. Ask yourself why before you act more often—double-check you have your keys, wallet, and headphones before you leave the house! The walk to uni just doesn’t feel the same if you’re not listening to that playlist you made in year 13.

Skip your Monday and stay home, you deserve a rest. You’ve got this, just keep learning new stuff and catching up on your lectures. Avoid Mitski and showering for longer than ten minutes—others need to shower, and it’s just not sustainable.

38

Horoscopes

The Team Editors

Sally Ward & Matthew Casey editor@salient.org.nz

Design & Illustration Padraig Simpson designer@salient.org.nz

Sub Editor Jamie Clarke

News Editor

Kane Bassett news@salient.org.nz

Chief Reporter Niva Chittock

Feature Writers Ronia Ibrahim Sarah Saunders Tom Andrews Janhavi Gosavi Lachlan Ewing

Contributors

Saul Grant-Drummond SJE Nicole Geluk-Le Gros Rosie van Beusekom Michael Turnbull Neill Amundberg Olivia Lu Oli Cheyne Puck Francesa Georgia Pietkiewicz

Staff Writers Janhavi Gosavi Ronia Ibrahim Lachlan Ewing

Social Media & Web Manager Thomas Gerbremichael

Podcast Manager

Francesa Georgia Pietkiewicz podcasts@salient.org

Centerfold

Find Us

fb.com/salientmagazine IG @salientgram Twitter @salientmagazine www.salient.org.nz

Kate Jensen

Cover

Britt Harrison @shuttabutter

www.salient.org.nz www.salient.org.nz

39

40