Issue 18 - Yeah the Girls

Salient YEAH THE GIRLS

Vol. 83

Issue 18

31 August 2020 1

Contents EDITORIAL.......................................................................................................................................................................................... 03 LETTERS + NOTICES

04

CONTRIBUTOR CALL OUTS

05

NEWS Blazers, Blue/Greens, and Birds: A Sit Down With Nicola Willis................................................................................................

Whiria Project: Major VUW Restructure in the Works, But With Great Push Back..................................................................

65% of Students Satisfied With University's COVID-19 Response Despite Communication Issues....................................

Boycott: Demilitarize Our Neighbouring Islands—Hawaii 2020.................................................................................................

Opinion.................................................................................................................................................................................................

Shit News.............................................................................................................................................................................................

06 08 10 11 12 13

FEATURES An Ode to Our Mums.......................................................................................................................................................................... 14 Drip Dry Morals.................................................................................................................................................................................... 18 Twerk Werk........................................................................................................................................................................................... 20 CENTREFOLD

26

POETRY

COLUMNS To Be Frank.........................................................................................................................................................................................

Off Record...........................................................................................................................................................................................

Bachelor of Parenting........................................................................................................................................................................

Politically-Minded..............................................................................................................................................................................

UniQ.....................................................................................................................................................................................................

VUWSA................................................................................................................................................................................................

VUWSA ELECTIONS

34

CULTURE It Was a Cultural Reset........................................................

Ranking TV Shows About Rich People.............................

Women in Your Ears.............................................................

Get Your Mediocre Poetry Out Of Our DMs.....................

YTG Playlist............................................................................

29 30 31 32 33

Salient is funded by VUWSA, partly through the Student Services Levy. Salient is kinda, sorta editorially independent from VUWSA. It’s a long story.

Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). The perspectives and opinions in any issue of Salient do not necessarily reflect those of the Editors.

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ENTERTAINMENT Occupation Station Horoscopes

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22 23 24 24 25 25

48 50

Complaints regarding the material published in Salient should first be brought to the Editors. If displeased with the Editors’ response, the complaint should then be brought to the Media Council. Complaints should be directed to info@ mediacouncil.org.nz.

Editorial

K & R prepping for their editorial pic every week.

IN WHICH WE GAS UP THE GIRLS If it hasn’t already been made abundantly clear to us by people whose opinions we did not ask for, Salient has a lot of women writers. cc: Kris Jenner “and just for the record, is there a problem with that?”

In over 120 years of student media at Vic, only about 25% of Editors have been women so, kindly, get fucked.

This week, we’re unapologetically celebrating the girls.

Because honestly, girls are great. This issue is about sisterhoods, sluts, Siglo bathrooms, and rage.

Unbeknownst to many, women have plenty of rage inside of them. It comes from years of microaggressions, forced smiles, fake orgasms, etc. Our rage often expels itself in small bursts, like when we comment “DUMP HIS ASS” in girl advice groups. If we let our rage build for too long, however, it escapes us and tries to deck our bestie's ex on the Siglo balcony. The latter isn’t productive, we’ll admit. But all this unreleased rage isn’t good for our fine lines!

It’s the “I grab back” underwear in Janelle Monáe’s “PYNK” music video. Also the pussy pants.

We’re reclaiming narratives in this issue. Like SZA, we’ve been lookin good, been feeling nice, workin on our aura, cleanin up, working overtime... we’re putting our energy into ourselves.

In this issue, Sally bites back at a former Prime Minister and Salient Editor, Sir Geoffrey Palmer. Niva, Grace, and Rosa get honest about their mums. Lofa epitomises the sacred ritual of getting ready with the girls. Jack frees themselves from expectation in their stunning centrefold piece—our most haunting artwork yet.

We’re tired of being told how hard it is to be women; to be femme. We already know how hard it is. No one needs an issue of Salient to tell you that. We don’t want to write about it and no one wants to read about it. Not unless it presents solutions.

So here’s what we’re doing in this issue. We’re re-channelling our rage, for our health. We’re not suppressing it, nor are we practising mindfulness or buying an eye cream like the patriarchy tells us to. No, this issue we’re taking that rageful energy, changing the form to gas, and gassing up the girls.

The shit thing about being told how hard it is to be a woman is that this leaves no room to celebrate how simultaneously fucking great it is. If feminism is about choice, then gassing up the girls should be just as much our right as it is to shine a light on the hard stuff too.

There’s no ~official~ definition of ‘Yeah The Girls’. It’s more of a vibe.

So here’s to the fucking girls. You’ll catch us sweating off our rage to the Salient Yeah The Girls playlist (page 33).

It’s that moment on the dance floor when “Truth Hurts” comes on and Lizzo says, “you coulda had a bad bitch.”

Kirsty Frame (she/her) Rachel Trow (Kāi Tahu, Ngāti Tūwharetoa | she/her)

It’s Lily Collins one-outs’ing her cheating husband in a bar while Lily Allen’s “Fuck You” plays in Love, Rosie.

Brought to you by Peoples Coffee Newtown

03

Letters + Notices Hey thanks for keeping the poetry coming,

Kia ora Salient,

it's my fave section. The minimalism of a poem is a great break from the wordy

I was reading this weeks issue and wanted to

articles, and you guys always manage to

respond to your article about students being

pick a reasonable poem <3

denied study link due to the disparities between VUW and Studylink.

-James Daly Last year I was involved in an accident that resulted in me having to withdraw from 2 courses in Week 5 of Trimester 2 due to a brain injury that significantly reduced my cognitive abilities. I was no longer eligible to receive living cost payments despite

Did we do something right?

Something wrong? Enlighten us.

Best letter gets bean juice, thanks to our mates at Peoples Coffee Newtown

being the poster child for a “exceptional circumstances” claim. I did not follow through with the issue as due to my injury did not have the mental capacity at the time.

This issue resulted in me having to work full time, despite my injury, to have enough money to live on. I think that it is important that everyone with stories like these come forward as even now I am having ongoing

Send your letters and notices to editor@salient.org.nz before 5pm Tuesday for the following week’s issue.

correspondence with Studylink regarding my eligibility for Studylink payments.

I am looking forward to following the progression of this issue.

Victoria University of Wellington Women's Collective Presents: Women’s Week 2020

04

MON

5:30-8PM

VUWFLS Moot

TUE

7PM on Zoom

VicUFO Quiz Night

WED

5-6PM

Online Sharing Circle

THU

Online

3PM-6PM

Period giveaways & awareness

Online bakelong: Vulva cupcakes

FRI

5:30-8PM

VUWFLS Moot

LETTERS + NOTICES

7-9PM

3:30-5:30PM

Online Movie Night

Online Stitch’n’Bitch

Contributor Call Out UPCOMING ISSUES

ALIENT

MEN’S ISSUE (title tbc)

Yep, that’s right, it’s an outer space issue. Can either be out of this world or just straight up outrageous. To infinity and beyond.

hello man. this is man. man no write salient. man together strong. write for floppy man book.

by Alfy

If you’ve got a pitch for Salient, send your reckons to:

PITCH GUIDE

If writing is your game, here’s what we need from you: If you have no idea what you want to write or how you want to get amongst, it's best that you come see us in the office, so you can see what interests you. We’re in the bowels of the Student Union Building - SU355. Otherwise, email us at editor@salient.org.nz

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Poetry: poetry@salient.org.nz

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News: news@salient.org.nz

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Centrefolds: designer@salient.org.nz

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Everything else—features, creative writing, prose, reviews, culture: editor@salient.org.nz

1. Introduce yourself. Tell us who you are and where your pitch is coming from.

2. The Elevator Pitch: A short paragraph outlining the kaupapa of your piece.

This should include any stylistic notes e.g. tone of the writing.

3. Why? Tell us why your column/feature/ review/nudes/finsta etc belongs in Salient 4. Who? Tell us who your target audience is.

5. How? Tell us how it will benefit the readers of Salient.

Lastly, you’ll need to show us what you’ve got. Send us a first draft of your piece and/or a portfolio of your other writing so we can get an idea of your strengths and style Make sure you include your name, pronouns, and iwi/hapū affiliation in the header.

CONTRIBUTOR CALL OUT

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News

MONDAY 31ST AUGUST 2020

Blazers, Blue/Greens, and Birds: A Sit Down With Nicola Willis FINN BLACKWELL | HE/HIM

Image by: Salient

This week, Salient sat down with National Party MP and candidate for Wellington Central Nicola Willis to discuss her thoughts on the Golden Mile, Cannabis Referendum, and bird of the year.

Getting Wellington Moving “I want Wellington to be easier to get around,” Willis said of the Golden Mile Proposal. “Whether it’s by car, by bus, by foot, or by bike. I think that if we invest in modern transport infrastructure, we can achieve all of those things.”

Giving examples, Willis commented, “undergrounding state highway one through Te Aro would mean that it would be much easier for people to walk to work through that part of town without having to cross the state highway.”

don’t want to see the kind of backlash we’ve seen to some of the problematic cycleways that the council put in, for example, in Island Bay. It seems that the lesson from that episode was: listen to the community, answer their practical questions and make sure that any change you make is enduring and has the buy-in of those affected by it.”

The Blue/Greens Willis has been described by many as a Blue/Green. She explained that Blue/Greens are a branch of the National Party that “take environmental and conservation issues really seriously.”

She continued, saying “in terms of the Golden Mile consultation, my view has been that the council needs to listen very hard to the feedback it gets from Wellingtonians about that proposal.”

She further explained that the National Party “rejects the idea that it’s only the Green Party who represents environmental policies. Actually, within National, we’re very focused on those issues. We’d argue that [the Greens] are far more focused on issues like cannabis reform, welfare reform, asset taxes than they are on environment and conservation issues.”

“It’s a big change. We have to make sure it’s practical. We

“Nationals Blue/Green wing meets every year. We have a

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huge Blue/Green forum, we invite Greenpeace, Federated Farmers, a whole mix of environmental stakeholders. We discuss new ideas, we discuss current challenges, and we commit ourselves to thinking up new solutions”.

“The National Party “rejects

the idea that it’s only the Green Party who represents environmental policies. Actually, within National, we’re very focused on those issues.”

Willis remarked that this wing of the National Party takes a “values approach” wherein they believe that an informed, well incentivised and empowered community has the power to make a difference to the local environment.

“Sometimes if you blow up issues and make them seem really big and insurmountable then no one takes action.”

She continued, “we believe that the possibility for action is there and we can make progress.”

Election Run-Up Looking ahead to the 2020 General Election, Salient asked Willis her thoughts on the importance of the Cannabis Referendum and the significance it holds for New Zealand as a nation.

“The referendum coming up, I think, has had a bit of a tricky background. It’s been very confused. It’s not a binding referendum, such as the end of life choice one, where actually an act has gone through parliament, we’ve debated that legislation extensively, had thousands of submissions from experts and New Zealanders across the country, parliamentarians have voted, and we have now recommended a final form of legislation that people are being asked to vote on.”

“Whereas with the cannabis issue,” she added, “pretty late in the piece, we’ve had a piece of draft bill emerge, it hadn’t been debated, it hasn’t had submissions, it hasn’t had expert analysis. My concern is that people are being asked to vote in this referendum with very little idea of what will actually be the result...”

Willis concluded her point by remarking “in terms of its significance, I’d say ‘yes, it may give us some indication’ and of course if there is a yes vote, I think any parliament would be duty-bound to implement some sort of cannabis legalisation regime, but I am really concerned about the form it’s taken.”

Winnie One-Outs Continuing on the topic of national politics, Willis remarked on who she believed would win in the much-anticipated catch-weight prizefight between the Rt Honourable Winston Peters and Act Party leader David Seymour.

“Well, you’ve heard it here first, Winston Peters is goneburger, he’s not going to survive this election. Fight or no fight, I don’t think NZ First will be returning to Parliament.

David Seymour, he’s doing okay. But I would remind people: if you want to see a centre-right government, the best thing you can do is party vote National”.

Shit Chat Willis discussed last year's University name change debate with Salient, which was met with massive pushback from students and faculty alike. Willis herself spoke out in an open letter against changing the University’s name and stated that “[Victoria University] is the right name.”

“It’s got huge heritage.” She continued, “it’s a name that people already know and love. Literally tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people have graduated from Victoria University of Wellington. That’s the name written on their degrees, it’s written on my degree, and it has a lot of meaning for people. Don’t change a good thing when it already creates a sense of community and connection for so many.”

Finally, Willis discussed another crucial upcoming election facing New Zealanders, that being the Bird of the Year, and a candidate she has already locked in for her vote. “I have been absolutely loyal on this issue. I have campaigned hard for the takahē.”

“It is an absolute gem of Zelandia. A beautiful bird. It was so rare that people actually thought it was extinct, yet we’ve brought it back from the brink so it's a wonderful conservation story. So, takahē all the way.”

“Well, you’ve heard it here first, Winston Peters is goneburger, he’s not going to survive this election. Fight or no fight, I don’t think NZ First will be returning to Parliament.”

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Whiria Project: Major VUW Restructure

in the Works, But With Great Push Back TE AOREWA ROLLESTON | NGĀTI RANGINUI, NGĀI TE RANGI | SHE/HER

Victoria University of Wellington is proposing a substantial restructure plan named the ‘Whiria Project’—which translates as “to plait” or weave. The proposal has come as a surprise to many staff and has largely been met with resistance, particularly from unionised staff.

The 30 page discussion document seen by Salient also lacks substantial focus on student experience and engagement.

According to senior leadership, the proposal is the University’s effort to “adapt” to the current times with the economic impact of COVID-19 a significant feature of the discussion document.

The discussion document outlines a series of significant changes across the entire structure of the University which will impact students, staff, schools of learning, and senior leadership.

Key areas of focus within the document include: •

Dividing and sectioning the current three tier organisational structure to make it more fluid and efficient

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Aligning the current academic systems to the strategic plan focusing on a global, civic university

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Examining ways to incorporate values of Te Tiriti o Waitangi more centrally

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Increasing communication and engagement within the institution

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Managing the financial stability and cost savings of the university.

The proposal has been met with great pushback from stakeholders, highlighting the need for consistent communication and transparency from the University.

Salient spoke to VUWSA about their contribution and participation in the Whiria project and whether they believed there had been sufficient consultation.

Acting President of VUWSA, Taylah Shuker said they, alongside the Student Academic Committee, were "disappointed with the level of consultation from the

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University about the Whiria project."

Shuker also confirmed that VUWSA had to actively seek documents and facilitate consultation, adding that “if students had been approached early on it would have shown a commitment to students as partners and acknowledged the potential affects this project has on them.”

VUWSA understands there is no intention to hold specific student consultation.

As a result, “VUWSA has requested an executive summary of the Whiria discussion document (shorter than the 28 pages to make it more accessible for students), with clear communication on how students can submit feedback.”

"VUWSA understands there is no intention to hold specific student consultation."

At the time of publication, VUWSA had not received a summary.

As well as consultation with students and student representatives, there were also concerns expressed for academic and administrative staff.

Several VUW staff have spoken to wider media explaining that staff were already feeling exhausted and stressed and that the recently revealed discussion document was worrying.

Tutor and doctorate student, Erica Cassie told Salient that many tutors have been sharing their concerns around the University's decision making. She said the insufficient consultation has caused many tutors to fear for their job security.

Cassie said, “The first time I actually saw the document was when it was released to staff a few days ago.”

“There haven’t been discussions in our school and there hasn’t been a great amount of information sent to me either as a tutor or as a postgraduate student.”

“It’s really hard to pass the document, it does not make sense to most people.”

“Staff are focussed on trying to teach and support students through all the ongoing disruptions of this year - now is not the time to be piling on still more uncertainty and the prospect of job cuts.”

Co-President of the Tertiary Education Union VUW Branch, Dougal McNeill, said that "It is astounding that, in the middle of an ongoing global pandemic, the University's senior leadership should think this a good time to initiate wideranging and ill-thought-out restructuring.”

McNeill added that the further centralisation and concentration of power Whiria proposes “will be bad for students and staff. It's more of the same tired managerialism that has served higher education so poorly over the past decades. And it would have to result in job losses.”

He stresses that students and staff “need more connection, support and interaction as a community of learners, not still further powers given to an evergrowing centre.”

Union members joined in what were some of the biggest union meetings in years to have their say on this project.

McNeill states The Whiria Project needs to be withdrawn, “and the Vice Chancellor and Provost need to work urgently to try and restore trust and relationship with University staff."

Salient spoke to Deputy Vice Chancellor Māori, Professor Rawinia Higgins about the proposal and the contribution the Māori community have had in the proposal’s intentions.

In regard to engaging and consulting tauira, Professor Higgins said that “to my understanding, people within their respective communities are engaging with their representatives.”

“I had the Ngāi Tauira (Māori Student’s Association) representatives join me in a Zui and assume they will engage their student bodies. I have said that I am happy to talk if they want me to.”

The discussion document recommends giving Te Kawa a Māui more prominence in the new structure as a means to upholding Te Tiriti.

In statement the University responded to Salient’s request for comment on the Whiria Project and the concerns being felt by students and staff.

“The document released is a discussion document not a proposal. It offers some highlevel draft recommendations simply to help clarify, challenge and progress thinking prior to consultation.

The document was put together by the Senior Leadership Team after discussions with those whose roles could be affected by changes to the academic structure, namely SLT Members, Deans, Associate Deans and Heads of School.”

“The discussion document was developed by the people whose roles could be affected by changes to the academic structure. This week’s issue of Whītiki—our student newsletter— will include an item directing students to a Whiria project webpage and the discussion document.”

“As we were trying to weave together a number of different reports that we had done over time, Whiria was really trying to put that into a discussion document.”

Students and staff have been given until the 14th September to provide feedback on the Whiria Project following which a report will be released sharing those responses.

Students are invited to contribute feedback via email to whiriafeedback@vuw.ac.nz

“In terms of the Māori part of that, I was very much involved and Dr Ocean Mercier (Te Kawa a Maui) was included.”

The full discussion document (pictured above) is now available on the University's website.

Professor Higgins explained that this was a kaupapa where Māori were definitely involved and that it was an opportunity to look ahead at how the university will function in the future.

Professor Higgins went on further to explain that she was confident with the support being facilitated by the leadership team in centralising the iho of the university, the marae complex and normalising Te Reo Māori.

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65% of Students Satisfied with University’s COVID-19 Response Despite Communication Issues FINN BLACKWELL | HE/HIM

Victoria University of Wellington has recently released the Student Experience report, highlighting key measurements of student satisfaction with the University’s COVID response, online learning, and wellbeing.

34% of VUW students participated in the survey last trimester, which had specific focus on online learning and the various effects COVID-19 has had on students.

The report highlighted key findings that students felt able to adapt to online learning, though they also reported an increased workload, anxiety, and lack of clear communications.

A reported 65% of students had not taken online classes prior to the University-wide shift last trimester.

Of the 87% reported to have adapted well to online instruction, 39% felt they adapted only “slightly well”. An additional 13% said they had not adapted well at all.

The report mentions on several occasions that students experienced unclear and sometimes conflicting communication across the University, but does not provide data.

Key barriers to online learning were evidently influenced by lockdown. 70% of surveyed students experienced a lack of motivation, and an additional 53% reported an inability to learn effectively online.

The key positives for online learning each had ratings under 40%. While 38% stated they had more time for academic work under the national COVID-19 restrictions, 29% of students reported no positives in online learning.

The report also saw a significant drop in the University’s Student Wellbeing Index. This year’s index score is 10, down from 13 last year and further from 15 in 2018. The World Health organisation index indicates any score below 13 signifies poor wellbeing.

More than 70% of surveyed students reported significant detriment to their health and wellbeing: feelings of anxiety, nervousness, depression, and being unable to stop worrying.

The leading cause for domestic students not continuing in their degree were concerns that all classes will continue to be held online (41%), while 34% of international students had decided to continue education at a different institution.

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Additionally, the report found most undergraduate students completing their degrees in Trimester 1 were focused on employment, rather than postgraduate studies.

Overall, 65% of surveyed students reported that they were satisfied with the University’s response to COVID-19. A further 65% agreed, with 33% somewhat and 7% strongly, that the University supported them during the COVID-19 pandemic.

The report also found students “felt frustration with the communication regarding the timeframe and cost of university accommodation housing.”

In April, many students at VUW halls took part in a ‘rent strike’ after the University announced plans to charge partiallyreduced hall fees, despite students being unable to return.

While 16% of those surveyed lived in University accommodation before COVID-19, all surveyors were asked if they felt anxiety about University accommodation, which polled at 22%.

The University commented stating students who were not residing in, nor had ever resided in these accommodations “could also express anxiety” on the issue.

As students looked to the future, 56% of domestic students believed that COVID-19 had or may delay their intended graduation, while 60% of international students believed this also.

The University addressed the 34% engagement by reiterating that the invitation to complete the survey was “widely promoted via direct emails to students, inclusion in the weekly newsletter, on University and Faculty social media pages, via student representative groups which were asked to promote it to their networks, and to students in our halls of residence.”

Queries that arose from the survey by students were responded to, a spokesperson for the University confirms.

Moving forwards, the University will use the findings from this survey, and “information shared by the student representatives” to feed the “continuous review/ improvement in our response to critical events”.

Boycott: Demilitarize Our

Neighbouring Islands–Hawaii 2020 SALIENT STAFF

Editors’ note: This story has been amended to clarify several falsehoods and inaccuracies which were originally published both online and in print.

Imperialism is incredibly destructive on Indigenous lands and waters and is strongly opposed by Kānaka Maoli. These are some of the effects of how RIMPAC has affected Hawai’i.

The original version contained several key mistakes.

The corrections are as follows:

The list of effects:

1.

The Cancel RIMPAC Coalition Aotearoa authored the letter to Jacinda Ardern, not Dr Emalani Case, although she was involved.

2. The main focus of the letter was to urge the New Zealand government to withdraw from RIMPAC, not discussions of imperialism.

3. The original story implied that Dr Emalani Case is not a member of the Cancel RIMPAC Coalition Aotearoa, which she is. It also implied that the Cancel RIMPAC Coalition in Hawai‘i is working with the Honolulu City Council, which they are not.

4. The use of Pu'uhonua o Pu'uhuluhulu and the Honolulu City Council were included without any real context or meaning, and has been removed from this amended version.

5. Dr Emalani Case is a lecturer at VUW, not a Professor.

6. The original story used the term ‘Kānaka Ina’ in reference to the native people of Hawai’i. This is not only a gross mistranslation, but used in the wrong context. When referring to the native population, one should use the term ‘Kanaka Maoli’ for a single person and ‘Kānaka Maoli’ for multiple people.

The full apology can be read in Salient Volume 83, Issue 17: Environment What is RIMPAC? The Rim of the Pacific (RIMPAC) military exercise is the largest maritime war exercise in the world. It was established at Pearl Harbour, Hawai’i in 1971. NZ has been participating in this war exercise except for the nuclear-free gap between 1985-2012. The event is usually held in Hawai'i every two years between June and August. This year, due to COVID-19, it was postponed to mid-August and shortened to two weeks.

The 2018 RIMPAC exercise consisted of 46 ships, over 200 aircraft, five submarines, and 25,000 personnel.

•

Environmental Destruction

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An increase in sex trafficking

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Threats to marine life

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Toxic waste & pollution

What is happening?

In April, the Cancel RIMPAC Coalition Aotearoa penned an open letter to PM Jacinda Ardern, urging New Zealand to withdraw from this year’s RIMPAC and to withdraw from every year that follows. Included in the signatories of this letter are many students, staff, lecturers, and professors of Victoria University of Wellington, including Kanaka Maoli lecturer of Pacific Studies Dr Emalani Case, who has been loudly and proudly advocating for the cancellation of RIMPAC through COVID-19 and beyond.

Despite the open letter, minister of defence Ron Mark and the New Zealand Defence Force (NZDF) have confirmed that the HMNZS Manawanui with a crew of 66 is set to attend.

Dr Emalani Case, in an article published on The Spinoff from June 10th, writes that “though this may seem small and inconsequential, participation still signals disregard for the safety and wellbeing of those in Hawai’i who will have to once again bear the pain and destruction of Rimpac, this year amid a global pandemic.”

The global phenomenon of colonisation and its interconnections with militarism isn’t just isolated to Hawai’i.

This hostile force has laid hands on indigenous lives and lands all over Te Moana-nui-a-Kiwa.

Learn about how New Zealand participates in RIMPAC and spread awareness on social media. It's not just an event but a structural and historical issue that encompasses imperialism, colonialism, and at this stage, will be held during the Coronavirus Pandemic.

Follow @CancelRIMPACcoalition on Instagram for more follow up content.

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Opinion NZs ^Infodemic^: Misinformation is Taking Over Your Feed TESSA PORTER | SHE/HER

Having different or conflicting views is not a bad thing, by any means. It may be confronting, yes, but discussion, participation and scrutiny are what drive an active civil society, whether in person or online. However, being critical of something is different from condemning it all together, as the latter does not leave any room for debate or compromise.

Unfortunately, the line between expressing criticism and attacking people’s beliefs has become blurry as we witness an age of mass polarisation.

Politicians like Billy Te Kahika Jr and Jami-lee Ross are aiming to “bring back hope and opportunity into our politics,” accusing the public and mainstream media—basically anyone outside of their conspiracy ecosystem—of not scrutinizing the government and its actions enough.

As we are approaching the new season of heated election debates, political cat-fights and the flood of controversial campaign posters plastered across the country, the spread of misinformation is continuously spiralling online. And unfortunately, hand-crafted face masks can’t fix this.

In a recent interview with Moana Maniapoto on Te Ao with Moana, both figures voiced their concerns over laws being passed hastily throughout lockdown, the intrusive nature of COVID-19 testing and the infringements on our basic human rights by quarantine procedures.

It becomes dangerous when these claims are based on dubious information and sources. In an attempt to resemble legitimate media platforms, smaller outlets increasingly present fake news, whether deliberate or otherwise, and social media provides a perfect environment for the spread.

Unfortunately, New Zealand is not immune to the spread of misinformation. Suitably referred to as the “infodemic” these ideas and assumptions are making the rounds on social media, especially Facebook (no surprises there).

From Facebook-lives and dodgy articles, to terrible memes and comment sections dominated by a certain frustrated demographic—the lockdown has evidently propelled the spread of fake news.

In New Zealand, the spreaders clearly take notes from populist figures overseas, but embody the relatable and approachable “kiwi” characteristics. Billy Te Kahika Jr of the New Zealand Public Party is a prime example, who according to himself, doesn’t lie, only states facts, and represents the people. Through numerous Facebook-live monologues and continuous use of vague personal pronouns to appeal to his audience, he and his claims of COVID-19 being a hoax, part of a global communist plot, have gained prominence.

Thanks to our friends Mark Zuckerberg & Co., media algorithms are specifically designed to present us with content that caters to our interests and thus reinforce our preconceived notions. And it is exactly within these echochambers that conspiracy theories thrive.

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What makes these claims even more dangerous is that they undermine the credibility of legitimate media outlets and our democratic processes.

"What makes these claims even more dangerous is that they undermine the credibility of legitimate media outlets and our democratic processes."

However, when asked about the origin and legitimacy of these claims, they swiftly turned to challenge the ability of the general public, and Moana herself, to critically and properly analyse sources. Their conversation covered more issues from vaccines to the Agenda 2030, and I encourage you to watch it.

For now, these frictions keep blurring the line between reality and fake news, further creating mistrust in established journalism. The act of fact checking becomes rather obsolete when you don’t trust the sources in the first place.

Again, scrutiny and condemnation are two different pairs of shoes, which makes it all the more important to inform ourselves through a wide range of sources.

I urge you to go beyond your feed and look at multiple sources as we are all susceptible to being trapped in our echo-chambers, especially during isolation, no matter where we are on the political spectrum.

Shit News EACH WEEK OR SO, THE SALIENT TEAM RECAPS WTF HAPPENED LAST WEEK. BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO GET SUED, WE'VE CALLED IT SHIT NEWS

FRIDAY 21ST AND THE WEEKEND

WEDNESDAY 26TH AUGUST

Some Salient staff interviewed a couple of candidates for Wellington Central. After the interviews, a few of them went to the pub for a few beers. One staff member profusely debated that Export Gold is the superior $10 jug at JJ Murphy’s. A brawl ensued and a conclusion was not reached.

VUWSA candidate promos show up on Tinder. With 5 candidates for treasury secretary, hella impressed that students care so much about both treasure and secrets.

Everyone waits in eager anticipation as the PM’s decision on Monday looms. People sit idly, waiting with bated breath. No one even went in to claim the weekend’s PowerBall, that’s how anxious it was.

Judith Collins says she’d’ve extended the wage subsidy because of the Auckland lockdown.

Dane Rumble is surprised he’s nominated for New Zealander of the year. For a man who has had such a large influence on NZ, it's awesome he can remain so humble, Dane Humble.

Dr Shane Reti says if they were in charge, certain parts of Auckland would be out of lockdown, assuming those certain parts all voted National.

Wooooow. The Green party have been caught bending their own policy to provide $11mill to a private school expansion in Taranaki. They literally have a party policy which opposes state funding to be given to private schools. Not on.

MONDAY 24TH AUGUST

THURSDAY 27TH AUGUST

Auckland prepares for an extended Level 3 by probably going out and panic buying a shit ton of stuff. Again.

We woke up a bit dusty this morning, spending last night watching The Spinoff’s new series “Youth Wings” which documents the lives of leaders within the youth faction of political parties in New Zealand.

Our mate’s dad down south gave us an earful, saying: “there are no fucking cases in the south island and she [The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern] should move us to Level 1. The club scene in Timaru has gone to absolute shit since that bloody Auckland cluster.”

TUESDAY 25TH AUGUST Claims levelled by NZ First leader Winston Peters on who leaked superannuation details has been denied on parliamentary record, with some MP’s claiming “snitches get stitches.”

Judith Collins has said that she’d take the blame for any slip-ups at the border if she were Prime Minister, but she’s not, so don’t read into that too much.

Newshub have announced their team running the election coverage. Pat Gower will be the referee for the leaders debates. Hopefully, it's a clean fight. Tova O’Brien and Duncan Garner are also a part of the team covering the election.

New Zealand Parliament added an event: Dissolution of the 52nd Parliament—SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 6. Pressed interested on the event because we felt bad for the bro having to reschedule last time.

Ashley Bloomfield faces CDHB protestors alone, with a kind grin on his face. This man fears nothing.

Face masks are going to be mandatory from Monday (the 31st), so get sewing or some shit.

The Green party released the iconic retro “GREEN” sweater that Chlöe Swarbrick has been rocking recently. Someone on Twitter made the call that all the parties should make retro merch. FACTS! The design flair of the past is unreal.

NEWS: ISSUE 18

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An Ode to Our Mums WORDS BY ROSA MAIN, NIVA CHITTOCK & GRACE CLARKE | SHE/HER

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We all have expectations of our mothers. We expect them to be caring, maternal, empathetic, and always there for us. What we sometimes forget is that they also had expectations of who they were bringing into this world.

They didn’t raise us just so we could ignore their texts, date people they hate, pursue acting careers they don’t approve of or write about rubbing one out in a university magazine.

Yet here we are, the (sometimes) proud owners of these aforementioned actions. Our relationships with our mothers are deeply personal, inherently flawed, and inevitably change as we all age. We’ve spent time reflecting on our relationships with our mums and our experiences growing up, with all the included turbulences.

GROWING UP AND COMING OF AGE Rosa I take after my mum in lots of ways. We both have the same irritating restless leg syndrome that never lets us stay still.

We’re both manic extroverts at times, playing up to a willing audience, but love nothing more than our own company at the end of the day. I’ve learned some of my most essential advice from her—to never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Even before my parents’ marriage broke up, she took the lion’s share of raising my sister and me. I believed she always knew best, so much so that when she uprooted my life at age 7, I just smiled and went along with it. I naively thought that my relationship with my Mum was just like Rory and Lorelai in Gilmore Girls (season 1, of course) and even arrogantly felt sorry for my friends at times when they would complain about their ‘bitch’ mums. That could never be us.

Niva My mother has never been a ‘Mum’ in the traditional sense.

In fact, we were told not to call her mum because we “sounded like bleating sheep”. Evidently, there was never much mollycoddling. There was plenty of love, of course, just without the whirr of helicopter parent blades. Our house was great fun growing up; full of art, animals, and chaos.

From tapestries painted on the kitchen floor, to talking dogs,

and big personalities—there was always something going on. Still is. Over the years, my house became a favourite amongst friends for entertaining. Much of that stems from my mother.

You’ll hear my mum before you see her. She has her own vocabulary of made-up words, gives those she deems worthy peculiar nicknames, and loses something every 15 minutes. She gets home at the same time as her teenage kid on a Saturday night, and her most important life lessons have been to “have fun, be yourself, and be respectful.” Oh, and ensuring I have a ‘musication’—a music education which is heavily biased towards anything alternative.

Grace My mum died when I was 10, which was pretty inconvenient.

I had to go through the process of becoming a woman without a mother figure in my life. When my period arrived at age 11, I had to turn to my father for help. Until this point, my dad had a history of leaving the room during tampon ads. Yet on this day Matt sped off to the supermarket and returned with 8 different types of ‘feminine’ products, including: daily liners, maxi pads, sports tampons, lavender scented wash, and adult incontinence nappies. Unsurprisingly, much of this was not necessary. Throughout the painfully awkward years of puberty, my dad was playing both roles. He tried so hard to help me as I figured my way through growing boobs, having acne, and getting the most god-awful near-bowlcut you’ve ever seen. That last one was my fault, but I’m going to use the dead-mum-card here. Nonetheless, my dad and I both learnt a lot.

FEATURE: AN ODE TO OUR MUMS

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LIMINALITY Rosa I’ve come to realise that my Mum and I’s values often diverge.

When I was younger, I incautiously accepted her values as my own. She unfortunately subscribes to the old school brand of feminism where sex means men are getting something, and women are giving something up. It is a shame I had to spend my first 13 years of life believing that shaving above the knee would summon some form of divine reckoning upon my family. After this realisation, I unconsciously demarcated our relationship as one of mother and daughter, not as friends. I left little breathing room for her to appreciate my growing sense of self. I felt a pressure to suppress aspects of my personal life I thought she might disapprove of. My frustration towards her manifested in intense and strange ways. We were more likely to blow up over trivial issues, than anything meaningful or important. But usually, each blow up was followed with an apology, or even just a ‘dinner’s ready’, that let me know everything was fine again.

"But usually, each blow up was followed with an apology, or even just a ‘dinner’s ready’, that let me know everything was fine again."

Niva There have been a few instances where Mother’s laissezfaire attitude has created more harm than good. Like when I ended up in A&E because she didn’t believe I was injured, or when I moved across the Strait without any of my luggage.

Her messy mode of living was frustrating to get a grip on in my teenage years and this annoyance frequently boiled up to the surface. We would dance through the house yelling as our Italian blood told us to, decibels cranking up with every step. Most of the time these flare ups were just that—a short burst which burned itself out in a matter of minutes. Only a handful of occasions resulted in a serious bush fire.

Nowadays, I’m too far away for us to regularly combust.

Turns out that distance doesn’t make the match burn brighter. Becoming her peer has also let the embers burn lower, changing our dynamic into one less fiery. Currently, I sit somewhere between loving her and being annoyed by her. Her bubbly intensity can be, at times, exhausting.

Her life spills into those she meets, upping their pace with mischievous plans and distracted phone calls. It’s great, though it does take some time to get ‘back to normal’ afterwards. She leaves a glittery coating like a winter dew dispersed on the lawn, sometimes taking days to evaporate.

Grace I spent my teenage years trying to be as much of a stereotypical woman as possible, in an attempt to prove that I could do it without a mum. Since moving across the world to university, leaving my Dad and the rest of my life behind, I’ve completely reevaluated who I am. That didn’t come without growing pains. I spent my first semester sleeping with some pretty gross people and was predominantly drunk, confused, and sad. A year has passed and I’m now in love with a slightly less gross dude. He’s helped me realise that getting drunk and wearing ‘feminine’ clothes make me feel like a stranger in my own skin. I now feel comfortable embracing the woman I am with a (slightly cooler) short haircut, and some shirts that make me look like your weird uncle. Being a woman is what we make of it.

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WORDS BY ROSA, NIVA & GRACE

COMING INTO OUR OWN Rosa Under her guidance, I have never felt less than a whole person. I don’t have a need to apologize unless I am truly sorry. I’ve always been able to hold things together even when I’m stressed out of my mind. However, it turns out ‘being ok’ all the time as a child makes for difficulties when addressing issues of conflict. While my ability to suppress feelings has served me well, I sometimes wish I could stop trying to fix and manage everything around me. Because I’m stubborn I sometimes find myself angry that she allowed us to have such a disconnected relationship. But what I have learned is that mother’s are people first. Before we were thrust from their wombs, they were just like us; flailing around, insecure, and burdened by social pressures like biological clocks and glass ceilings. I have to acknowledge that being a mother is tough in ways I won’t truly understand until I’m pulling the car over in Petone yelling at my own daughter to walk home.

Niva My mother and I aren’t the poster couple for motherdaughter relationships. I doubt we ever will be. But that’s ok, because we’ve both grown to sit comfortable with this.

There’s never been a rule book for these relationships (at least, not an official one), and besides, nothing about my Mum and I is conventional. Our relationship has evolved organically—a euphemistic way of saying it hasn’t been smooth sailing. But that’s why it’s so strong. Moods flow through our bond like leaves down the river; they never stick around for long. Rocks come along for us to crash over, breaking the atmosphere and pushing us to move on.

was concerned about how it would impact my mental health.

My dad has always encouraged me to be who I am, rather than what others might expect me to be due to the loss of my mother, and I am extremely grateful for that. I may be doing a BA with no career prospects, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come from bowlcuts and self-loathing from five years ago.

"Before we were thrust from their wombs, they were just like us; flailing around, insecure, and burdened by social pressures like biological clocks and glass ceilings."

***

It was powerful to grow up with a parental figure instead of a ‘mum’. Sometimes her unflinching honesty felt like a cold shower dousing out my parade. But most of the time, having a parent who hasn’t compromised themselves for their children is something I relish. Feelings dealt with, interests discussed and experiences shared. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Our first nervous ‘Mum article’ meeting in the Salient office started haltingly with interjections, rushed sentences and talking over top of one another; trying to get some sort of handle on what ‘mum’ was to each of us. What we didn’t expect were such strong commonalities present in our experiences. There was something reassuring about acknowledging that the feelings of anxiety, love, and pain we regularly encounter as we grow up were familiar to all of us, despite growing up on the other sides of the world (literally).

Grace

So here’s to mothers, whatever form they take. While being their children isn’t easy, we can’t imagine the whole ‘parenting’ thing is a breeze either. Even those of us lucky enough to have our mothers here will know that no relationship is perfect. We’re growing into a generation of women fundamentally different to the one our mothers grew into. Perhaps we’re not meant to fully understand mothers and that’s part of the fun of it. Regardless, they’re a figure we can analyse and decide which traits, names, stories, vices we’ll weave into our own life course.

As I write this in my damp bedroom eating straight out of a box of Nutrigrain for lunch, I can’t say I feel like an adult. But for all intents and purposes, I am now a fully grown woman.

This growth would not have occurred without a whole lot of help. My dad has been amazing—I can proudly say he is now able to sit through an entire tampon ad without flinching. I wouldn’t have become the woman I am today without my Dad acting as two parents at once for the past 10 years.

Compared to my mum, I’m less than impressive—she did law at uni and became a partner in one of the largest law firms in Scotland by her mid-30s. My father (also a lawyer) actually strongly discouraged me from studying law, as he

At the end of the day, mums are kick-ass women that are more than the title we bestow upon them. And they won’t let you forget it.

FEATURE: AN ODE TO OUR MUMS

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Drip Dry Morals WORDS BY SALLY WARD | SHE/HER

I moved to Wellington from Hawkes’ Bay six years ago.

I bought a new pair of white converse, a scarf, and a grey coat. I learned how to fill my eyebrows and found the right cut of sock to suit my ankles. I didn’t take my coat to town in case I looked like a prude. I was ready to leave behind my hometown and read more books and drink more coffee.

in workplaces (especially law firms), murder trials that are grossly direspectful to female victims, and predatory behaviour in parliament.

In 1963 the Editor of Salient wrote an article called "Women and University." When someone writes they “would be the last to attack the independence and liberality of University life,” they are about to attack the independence and liberality of university life. Except independence and liberality were things university offered exclusively to men, because “there are hazards—at least for the girls.”

The main concern of "Women and University" was that girls would drink like men, sleep around like men, and have no moral compass. As such, no one would want to marry them.

Ostensibly, the author was trying to protect girls from what he knew to be true. And what was true in 1963 was that unmarried women with an STI and “drip dry morals” would not fare well after graduating. The article concludes: “The most important thing a woman can do is to maintain her femininity. She must maintain her taste in clothes and makeup, while avoiding becoming loud. She must have considered what her standards are. It is easy for a University girl to lose her femininity and her dignity. If she does this she will never become a lady.”

I have felt guilty about the things I did to fit in, as if I should’ve been a better feminist. I should’ve said “get your hands off me” when someone grabbed my waist. How naive to think I needed men to like me to be valid. I’ve had to unlearn assumptions about what it means to be a woman and put them back together in a way that made me feel most like myself. I feel like myself when I’m not being catcalled :) I am uneasy about my place as a young woman. During my six years at university scandals have piled up like some deranged chocolate sundae that keeps getting sprinkled with more bullshit. This includes sexual assault

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More shocking is the objectification of bodies for male pleasure.

“The adage a girl who is becoming a woman must remember is that New Zealand still suffers, to some degree, from a 19th Century morality. This morality has two edges. What is right for a man may not be forgiven in a woman.

This is not a question of virginity. It is a question of sincerity and self respect. A man will take what he can from a body which attracts him. But he will marry a woman whom he respects.”

The author of this piece is former Prime Minister Sir Geoffrey

Palmer. He is responsible for the New Zealand Bill of Rights.

Our Editors asked Sir Palmer for comment on this piece and were referred to pages 105-112 of his 2013 memoir: Reform.

However, it does not seem that Sir Palmer has reformed his view on this article very much—calling it “controversial”, and that’s it. He also explains that he tried to “liven up” the magazine by introducing a girl of the week to the publication.

I wouldn’t give a shit about what Sir Geoffrey Palmer wrote in 1963 if it wasn’t relevant.

What I find in the misogyny of 1963 is solace that I haven’t made up my feelings. I didn’t turn on a gaslight and fool myself into believing that I needed to appeal to the male gaze. This culture is a product of our social history. Even prominent thinkers, who have done admiral things, have expressed views that’ll make you spit out your tea. I often choose to be passive because it’s easier. I’m tired. Slowly, I find space to examine how misogyny influences my choices.

There have always been people creating and imagining different ways of being. In response to Sir Geoffrey Palmer’s piece, women wrote in to tell him to piss right off. Jacy Stewart quoted Simone de Beauvoir and peaced out with: “New Zealand will continue to suffer from 19th Century morality while editorials such as yours continue to be written.”

to bodily integrity. Isn’t it weird that people feel entitled to touch your leg without asking?

Ask your lecturers for some material on critical feminist theories and intersectionality, or maybe write your own.

They’re a bit harder to find and less popular in the academic mainstream. Cross out gendered language in your course materials if there’s anything left.

Have a stiff drink, go dancing for the sake of it, and be as slutty as your lowest cut top. Of course, it’s important to go with a group for safety.

Sleep around a bit so that next time the nurse asks you if you are sexually active you can say “Yes!” Use protection, choose partners carefully and learn about your boundaries.

And remember, however you choose to express yourself as a woman, you can’t win. You may as well do what you want.

In the words of our former editor: 'The New Woman' is a hard and brash super sophisticate, with dyed hair and drip dry morals. She can take her drink like a man and chooses who she will go to bed with. The one thing this woman does not have is the respect of men.”

- Sir Geoffrey Palmer, Salient 1963.

How can we continue to create independence and liberality at university?

Play around with femininity. When you look in the mirror, do you see yourself or do you see yourself as you think men see you? Experience what happens if you don’t wear a bra in the Wellington wind. Dye your hair an unnatural shade of blonde or blue. Find clothes that are too big or too small so people can’t see the outline of your waist, or maybe they can see too much. Wear no makeup to town or so much glitter that it looks like you’re off to join the circus.

Consider not getting married in case there are other ways of living. Marriage might not be for you. If you leave university without a proposal or even the prospect of a proposal, you have not failed. Marriage is not always the ultimate goal of dating. Alternatively, you could make a pinterest board of wedding dresses that are not white to show that you lack purity. Ask a boy if they’d take your last name, as a philosophical exercise.

Think about morality. Morality ultimately accepts that ‘boys will be boys,’ or as quoted above, a man will take what he wants from a body that attracts him. If you see behaviour that stinks that stench, think about how you can rubbish it.

Surround yourself with people who support you if you are feeling unsafe and help others feel safe.

Say no. There are lots of ways to say no. We may not realise that our boundaries have been crossed until afterwards.

Remember that an assault is an “unwanted touch.” This is because the law intends to recognise every person’s right

FEATURE: DRIP DRY MORALS

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Twerk Werk WORDS BY LOFA TOTUA | SHE/HER

Headlines The recent release of “WAP” by powerhouses Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion has seen an uproar online from righteous critics. Many claim—in the name of feminism and empowering women—that the video and lyrics are in actual fact, not art. Receipts state that these critics are concerned for the role models young girls have today and the glorification of wet ass pussy. My sources understand that the collective response from women across the world —some who like the song, others who don’t—is that if any critiques should be made, they are to be directed towards the parents and beneficiaries of the patriarchy. Refer to the rap industry’s long history of misogyny. See below the aesthetics that the patriarchy has been gatekeeping from “female rap artists” (as opposed to just artists).

Superiority Your bitch thinks she's tough but I’m psycho! (Flo Milli, “19”)

clout, bitch, I'm tryna get rich. (Megan Thee Stallion, “Money Good”) Saviour Complex Type Love S-s-s on my chest, I’m ready to save him (Nicki Minaj, “Your Love”) Real Time Nina what the fuck is this slow shit? We are not in our feelings today. Save it for church.

She’s right sis—pass me my hot bottle.

Put on some Rihanna!

Nah, nothing too powerful yet.

Yeah, it’s too early.

Oi nah be honest—should I change my top?

Arrogance Do you see the format? This ain’t no floppy disk. This is the original PDF! (Princess Nokia, Interview with V FILES)

... I think yes.

Monetary Success Never let a sack chaser hang in my clique. Fuck getting

Tasi, can you stop fucking filming I haven’t finished blending yet.

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We’re gonna be here all night by the time you’ve finished, I told you to start ages ago.

Can you guys just hurry up so we can do the Tik Tok together?

Grace, come straighten the back of my hair, I can never do this part.

Nah, Ruth’s almost finished her hair, let’s wait.

What about me? My face ain’t beat!

We look so goooooood.

Hard, I’m glad I came out.

Okay, what’s our route? What’s our schedule?

I’m putting her on!

I reckon we start at Lulu’s for the vibes, El Barrio to pull and then Sassy's for the music.

Squeals, as Megan’s Simon Says commences

Nah, nah, nah. You’ve got the order wrong you dumb bitch!

Hard, why would we pull second? That doesn’t make any sense?

Uhhhh yes it does—in case it goes wrong for someone, we can just go dance?

You mean if it goes wrong…. For Grace, you sad guy!

No that’s not what I– Varied cackles and hysterical hyena laughter I hate you all.

Let’s go to Lulu’s for the shots, scout out El Barrio, get Tessa’s boy to let us in at Sassy's, dance there for a bit AND THEN come back to finish at El Barrio.

Hello, hoes and fellow thots, I’m Ruth and I will be leading today’s class in– (in unison) TWERK WERK! From hoe season to hot girl scholar, you are that bitch.

This journey is about living your best life. We welcome new student: Kelly aka Amy. Choose an area, Miss Winehouse, quickly! (mockingly) I’m so honoured, I have– Move bitch!

Okay does my ass look good or does my ass look GOOD? Fuck I love us.

Lesssgoooo!

Perfect!

Megan Thee Stallion increases in volume and everyone begins to shake their ass

Yes, that’s way better.

Simon says put your hands on your hips, huh

If I had known I would have had some Powerade, that sounds like a lot of walking.

Simon says put your hands on your knees, ay

Uber bitch!

How does my wing look? I want something kinda like Amy Winehouse but not as heavy.

You can’t do Amy Winehouse and then not follow through with the hair.

Or the drug addiction.

Nina! That’s so insensitive!

Oh shut the fuck up.

Simon says put your hands on your feet, ay Simon says bust it open like a freak, ay (in unison) Left, right, left, right, left!

Left, right, left, right, left!

Left, right, left, right, left!

Hah, hah, left, right!

If you’re Amy then I’m Megan.

Screams, hints of twerking and choruses of ay ay ayyyyy Wait!! I haven’t started drinking yet!

Catch up, sweetie.

FEATURE: TWERK WERK

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To Be Frank FRANKIE DALE | SHE/HER

THE COOL GIRL AND THE PRINCESS After being fingered on a roof in Chicago at my step mum’s 50th by a guy that looked like the 2007 version of Jonah Hill, I felt pretty good about myself. Dad was furious, but, whatever.

It’s no secret to you and I that female sexuality has been policed for-fucking-ever. In our lovely society, where voracious male sexuality is celebrated and passive female sexuality must be protected; we are all a bit fucked. Because female sexuality is so policed, we are expected to be the cool girl with the bald vag but also the princess who doesn’t have an opinion on anything who doesn’t even like sex.

I think both of these characters still require you to shave.

Embarrassingly, I have definitely attempted to embrace both characters before. An ex of mine would consistently come home at around 3am after he got bored of attempting to cheat on me. Not only did ol’ mate have an obsession with being called ‘daddy’ but got annoyed when I wasn’t game to upload our amateur sex tape to Pornhub—“our faces aren’t even in it?”. Yeah, but my family portrait is!

Even as the princess, I found myself shaving because I knew it made him so uncomfortable seeing a single piece of hair.

More depressingly, I had been faking it every single time for three years. When he moved on from our relationship by fucking my best friend, the stockholm syndrome I acquired from years of having a ‘cool girl’ mindset told me to give them my blessing and move on. Cool girls never get angry.

When I used to have sex with my year 12 boyfriend, I never questioned the fact that I found myself saying things like “you’re the best I’ve ever had”, as if I wasn’t a sexually inexperienced 16 year old who had just discovered that a blow job didn’t require you to actually ‘blow’ on a penis.

I’m worried that I have permanently impaired his ability to

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ISSUE 18: COLUMNS

pleasure women from the various acts I pretended to enjoy.

Unfortunately, the rigid missionary sex we had was less arousing than watching Trump’s inaugural address. But how was he to know that I was mentally checked out during sex?

I never said anything, and he never asked, because at the end of the day I wanted to exist in his mind as the completely unphased, always DTF, cool girl.

My friend was complaining recently about the fact that we have normalised sex centred around male pleasure so much that she sometimes can’t even tell if she even needs to be there or whether she could be replaced by say, a sock.

True, she had just finished watching Normal People, but she has a point.

So, what’s going on here? We live in a society that dictates how women are meant to feel about sex. The majority of the time I need to be adopting a damsel in distress persona whilst also being completely unaffected and cool. I need to be doing the most and doing the least.

Do any of us stand a chance at rebelling against this predicament? I tell myself that I was willingly taking on these characters—can I even blame guys for this?

Sex is complicated, for everyone. Feelings get in the way, people get hurt. Unwanted syphilis is always a bit shit too.

To be Frank (honest) , there’s really no shame of what you’re into or what you do—ever. But, make sure you are feeling safe, respected and most importantly liberated. Shave, don’t shave—remember no one who matters gives a fuck.

Off Record HANNAH POWELL | SHE/HER

MILK & HONEY In 2018, Lani Purkis was mulling over a booker’s response to her, being “if you don’t like my line-up, book your own festival.”

The same year, Teresa Patterson and Julia Deans wrapped up their tour with exclusively-female support acts. Together these three began conceptualising what would soon become Milk & Honey: a women-led music festival.

Milk & Honey has been held on International Women's Day for two years now. Celebrating local female artists from across the genres, the festival is the first of its kind for Aotearoa. In 2019, Milk & Honey ran across four locations in one day, with different artists playing different venues across Wellington, Auckland, Christchurch, and Queenstown. This year, Milk and Honey was held at Silo Park in Auckland, collecting the likes of JessB, The Gingham Twins, Disciple Pati, and She's So Rad. The festival isn’t just about getting women on the stage, it’s all about women building the stage too. Atop of artists, the festival also has a women-led backstage crew—the likes of which we know to be usually male dominated. Lani tells me her proudest moment this year was building, and then packing down the stage.

Since she was thirteen, Lani has always been in a band.

Starting out as the only all-girl band in her four years at Smokefree Rockquest, she tells me her journey from her response then as an all-girl band to her response now has been a challenge. “We were so proud that we were an all-girl band and playing...not for one moment did we go, ‘where are the other women?’. It was more of a “fuck yeah, I’m doing it” attitude she possessed. Now, she thinks, “where were the other women?”

Lani explains it’s been a confusing shift from feeling pride to fighting for more women to go on stage. Looking back, she says “I would’ve liked other women to look up to.”

I ask her what a perfect world would look like for women in music. Reflecting on her beginnings, she says, her perfect world would be “a place you could call yours, a venue full of other women. Run by women, women behind the PA system, women on the stage, the crew, women behind the bar.

[A place] you could go every week and feel comfortable”.

Milk & Honey, for her, is that place now.

Her advice to women in music is this: don’t be scared to touch gear, nor to push record. “You don’t need someone else to do that”, she says, “you can do it yourself.” Surround yourself with other women doing music, and give yourself the permission to just stop and do music if that’s what you want to do. Be true to yourself.

With the online backlash from the male-heavy festival lineups over summer, Lani responds by saying she’s not a fan of whinging. However, she says it’s conversation that makes a difference. Positive change is more women on stage. Her best advice? If you’ve got a problem—then do something rather than just talk about it.

“I think women should make decisions that make them happy and what feels true to them, not what they think other people expect them to be”.

“If we all did that,” she says, “I think the world would be a better place.”

ISSUE 18: COLUMNS

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Bachelor of Parenting

Politically Minded

ROSIE AND MIIA VAN BEUSEKOM THEY/THEM AND SHE/HER

NIVA CHITTOCK | SHE/HER

IT’S NOT ALL ETHICAL/MORAL /EMOTIONAL STRUGGLE We write a lot in this column about the challenges we’ve faced as parents existing in a capitalist society. But we can’t leave you thinking it's all bad. Our struggles as parents are balanced against the joy we feel with our kids, watching them grow, and the growth that we experience alongside them.

Finding out you’re going to have a baby when you weren’t really planning on it is pretty stressful. The time sneaks by quickly, but seems to drag all the same. One minute a loud "oh shit" from your friend's bathroom, the next holding a bundle which is more blanket than baby, and knowing you'll never want to put him down again.

Now somehow 9 months old, he's sitting up and playing with his older sister, too heavy and wriggly to hold all the time, but still cuddly. We’ve changed too. We’re more stable. We have plans for the future, and a pathway to achieve those aims; both of which have been difficult to find in the past.

A second child might’ve piled on the stress, but it has also forced us to make decisions which previously had not been so urgent, and could be put off.

Our eldest child is excited for us to “go to the garden and get all fancy-pants.” We will be able to celebrate a big moment in our relationship together as a family when we get married.

More than that though, we will be able to celebrate it as a chosen family, with people we want to have in our lives.

The last in particular has been, and continues to be, a big challenge for us, but it is one that we have continued to learn and grow from. Both of us look at where we were in previous years, and can see each others’ progress, and that is a fantastic win for us. Our successes may not have shaken the earth, but we can enjoy them in the kissing noises of our baby, and the erratic dancing of our three year old, and time we get to spend together as a family.

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ISSUE 18: COLUMNS

ALL THE LADIES IN THE HOUSE Everyone knows that Aotearoa New Zealand was the first self-governing country where women had the right to vote. 127 years ago, the Suffrage movement created this awesome milestone we still proudly remember, especially in an election year.

We have continued to push for diversity and representation in our Parliament, however, for a while there it was slow going. Our first female Member of Parliament was Elizabeth McCombs, elected in 1933, and our first female member of Cabinet (or Minister) was Hon Mabel Howard in 1947. But unfortunately, these gains didn’t continue to be made at the same rate. If you fast forward just over 30 years to 1978, there wasn’t a single woman in Cabinet.

The fact that we aren’t always so flash with our representation in politics seems to slip under the radar. Often we’re caught resting on the laurels of our past achievements.

Women are often overrepresented in List MP positions and underrepresented as electorate MPs. List MPs only get into Parliament if the party vote is high enough. Electorate MPs run for their own district (like Wellington Central) and if they win, they get into Parliament. See? A subtle way of holding women back.

Thankfully, this attitude is changing. Representation is more heavily scrutinised now. National’s front bench (top 10-20) announcement under Todd Muller received a lot of attention as it was lacking in both female and ethnically diverse faces.

Many said it was outdated, white-washed, and travelling back in time. And look at what happened to Muller as a result: goneburgers.

Right now we’re sitting pretty. We currently have the highest number of female MPs ever in our Parliament: 49 out of 120 (over 40%!). The challenge is to keep it up and to continue to support other disadvantaged groups to gain fair representation too.

UniQ

VUWSA

BILLIE ANGUS | SHE/HER

TARA O’CONNOR AND TAYLAH SHUKER SHE/HER

I HAVE A PLAYLIST NAMED RUH ROH AND I THINK YOU SHOULD TOO I’ve been listening to a lot of new music lately, and with the release of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s song “WAP”, I want to talk about it.

Firstly, I’ve noticed a trend towards myself listening to songs that empower other women. Lizzo, Janelle Monae, Ashnikko, artists that make music to bring up the girls around them, rather than trying to tear them down (I am a big fan of this trend).

I’ve also noticed myself listening to a ton of music that I wouldn’t want my grandmother knowing I listen to—songs like “WAP”. Songs from women talking about their own sexuality and sexual experiences. I’ve seen what people have been saying about the ladies making those songs. That such dirty language shouldn’t come from young women. That it’s gross, and they’re gross, and it shouldn’t be happening.

Personally, I love it.

Men have been writing songs for years about having sex with women, all their sexual exploits, women’s bodies, and yet now when women do the same, it’s suddenly wrong?

No thanks. I don’t agree with that. People should be able to make music about whatever they want to (of course, within reason). I don’t think what’s between your legs should factor in at all. I find a lot of the songs to be very fun to dance to.

I have caught myself making sure no one else can hear the songs through my headphones on the train. I may listen a little too loud, but I don’t think anyone else can make out what they’re saying. I don’t know if that’s because I catch the train with a bunch of businesspeople and I already draw enough attention to myself with my yellow clothes and egirl makeup, or some kind of internalised shame. Ah well, that’s an internal conversation for 3am, not here.

Anyway, listen to some sexy music (if you’d like!!). It’s pretty fun to dance to by yourself in your bedroom.

AN ODE TO BEING A BOSS ASS BITCH When thinking about what to write for this issue, we contemplated discussing our anger at the historic injustices, increased disparity and shit women have had to put up with in their everyday lives.

Instead, we tried our hand at poetry, a love letter of sorts to all the boss ass bitches reading this issue.

We see you, we hear you, we love you—your predominantly female exec xo An Ode to Being a Boss Ass Bitch There was a time when ‘once upon a time’ meant everything, Where being a damsel in distress was as common as mansplaining, We DID NOT ask for that, King.

Now the clock has struck 12, the damsels are in charge, Women are allied, out in force, and out for change at largeWe are not just another prize We are worthy, We are strong, Our voice is valid, we deserve to be heard, and just to reiterate, we DO NOT need to apologise for merely existing.

We rise up to the positions, we were told we could not fill, Shattering all of the glass ceilings, you said we would never get to-, Now it's obvious that was a load of bull.

We hold seats at the table and it is becoming everclear, Women are capable, skilled and we add value, have no fear We are the mother flipping girls! And we are here.

PS: this is a callout to the guy exec member of VUWSA who said “why is there always a girls group chat?”

YOU KNOW WHY.

ISSUE 18: COLUMNS

25

26

27 JACK ROSSIE, METAMORPH, 2019, DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPH

Women I’ve met in

the bathroom of bars

San Fran

Lulus

Thanks for the glitter Still finding it in my bed You should be dancing

You know Char? she does Consulting at Deloitte too Add me on Linkedin

The Horn

Siglo

Sorry about her She’s had a few too many Oh god, please don’t spew

I remember you!

You were in my commerce tut Let’s go balcony

Send your poems to poetry@salient.org.nz

Caitlin Hicks

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POEM

IT WAS A CULTURAL Rachel Trow | Kāi Tahu, Ngāti Tūwharetoa | she/her Kirsty Frame | she/her

To celebrate the debut of Salient’s culture section, your chaotic editors are serving you with their top cultural resets for women in the last 20 years.

To bring everyone up to speed (cc: those without Tik Tok), a cultural reset is a moment that defines an era and fundamentally changes pop culture thereafter. Best you believe the now-viral audio of “it was a cultural reset… it was a cultural reset” is, in the original Rose McGowan interview, referencing the #MeToo movement.

Jennifer Lopez’s 2000 Versace Grammy Dress (and then again 20-fucking-years later) Remember when J.Lo invented Google Images?

Tarana Burke and the MeToo movement Black American activist and organiser, Tarana Burke, coined the “MeToo” campaign in 2006. Over 10 years later, the phrase is championed by an international movement, and Burke is named Time’s Person of the Year (along with a collective of activists). We have no choice but to stan.

Beyoncé giving Taylor Swift the stage after Kayne West had the audacity While this doesn’t pass the bechdel test, it’s pure class. Off (one of) pop culture’s most infamous moments, Beyoncé letting Swift “have her moment” will forever encapsulate sisterhood and men ain’t shit energy. Katy Perry and P!nk taking to twitter after to drag Kayne was the cherry on top.

Julia Gillard’s Misogyny Speech I WILL NOT BE LECTURED ABOUT SEXISM AND MISOGYNY BY THIS MAN. I WILL NOT. AND THE GOVERNMENT WILL NOT BE LECTURED ABOUT SEXISM AND MISOGYNY BY THIS MAN. NOT NOW NOT EVER. THE LEADER OF THE OPPOSITION SAYS THAT PEOPLE WHO HOLD SEXIST VIEWS AND WHO ARE MISOGYNISTS ARE NOT APPROPRIATE FOR HIGH OFFICE. WELL I HOPE THE LEADER OF THE OPPOSITION HAS GOT A PIECE OF PAPER AND HE IS WRITING OUT HIS RESIGNATION. BECAUSE IF HE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT MISOGYNY LOOKS LIKE IN MODERN AUSTRALIA HE DOESN’T NEED A MOTION IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, HE NEEDS A MIRROR. THAT’S WHAT HE NEEDS.

Rihanna’s VS walk; VS getting cancelled; Savage x Fenty emerging from the ashes Rihanna-”I’m not looking for a man, let’s start there”- has had us questioning our sexuality since Pon de Replay. She mopped the floor with the ghost of VS founder Roy Raymond at the 2012 Victoria’s Secret Show. Seven years later, VS is cancelled for being transphobic, fatphobic, and just all around shite. Savage x Fenty emerges as the Supreme.

Lady Gaga’s 2019 Met Gala Reveal If your reveal isn’t Sasha Velour at the Season 9 finale we don’t want it. Either that, or it’s a 15 minutes long piece of performance art on the stairs of the Met, and finally entering the venue in nothing but lingerie and stilettos. We pity the B list celeb that had to follow that.

The Satisfyer Pro Community WHILE IT IS LOUDER THAN PEOPLE WILL HAVE YOU BELIEVE, shit slaps.

The “clit sucker” has united an online community for satisfying orgasms since the second generation model distributed itself last year. Never before have so many women talked so openly about masturbating, and honestly, we are here for it.

WAP - Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion We’re off to the sexual revolution, y’all want anything? If you’re spewing your concerns with this absolute banger then the “clean” version of this song is your fucking fault and we are holding you personally responsible. All we want is to be able to watch this high art music video without having to hear the phrase “wet and gushy.” Never in our life times have we seen such an unapologetic celebration of feminine sexuality on such an iconic scale. This is a warning to all readers before attempting the Tik Tok dance: stretch first.

Salient OnlyFans:

CULTURE: IT WAS A CULTURAL RESET

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Ranking TV Shows About Rich People JANHAVI GOSAVI | SHE/HER

This honestly isn’t that niche. As penniless students sticking it out until our next Studylink payment, we’ve all indulged in the fantasy of excessive wealth. It’s some Gen-Z bullshit about the law of attraction and manifesting your destiny, right? But not all shows are made equal. Warning: major spoilers ahead.

Dynasty Peasant tier: 4/10 This same-name reboot of the hit 80s soap opera centers itself around the life, lies and lust of businesswoman Fallon Carrington (played by Liz Gillies). With spicy one-liners and an even spicier closet, she is both the saving grace of the show and the epitome of its two dimensional nature. The Carrington name is so synonymous with riches that money is treated as an accessory to the narrative, despite effectively being a main character. If you ever wanted to see Jade from Victorious blossom into a snobby half-baked heroine, here’s your chance. This guilty pleasure left my broke ass feeling just that—guilty.

Elite Hustler tier: 7/10 Being rich hits differently when it’s in español. In Season 1, this show is exactly what it claims to be—a private school drama where teens have little homework and lots of sex. All the expected tropes are delivered—rich bitches, wannabes, self-imposed outcasts, and scholarship kids. There are frivolous pool parties and galas galore, but Elite gets its substance from stellar character development.

My favourite (albeit ridiculous) character arc is when Lu’s family financially cuts her off for defending her incestous tendencies and the only reason she’s able to attend university is because foe-turned-friend Nadia offers to halve her scholarship with Lu. If that’s not enough to convince you, several of Money Heist’s cast members starred in Elite first.

Gossip Girl Sugar daddy tier: 8.5/10 With Gossip Girl, I can't tell if I’m gagging over the characters’ designer clothing or their complete lack of self awareness.

Chuck trades his girlfriend Blair for a hotel. Nepotistic Nate takes over The Spectator despite only having three brain cells. Bart fakes his fucking death to escape his competitors.

A Buzzfeed writer found out that the watch 16 year old Serena gifted Dan in Season 1 was $25,000. That’s enough to cover my BA fees + my bubble tea addiction. Yet this

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CULTURE: TV REVIEW

form of escapism leaves you—the proletariat with the social conscience—feel pity for the wayward teens who stroll Manhattan sniffing out the nearest Prada store. Even if you’re of the “eat the rich” mindset, there’s no denying this show’s legacy. Gossip Girl made The CW what it is.

Schitt’s Creek Billionaire tier: 10/10 If there was such a thing as harmless rich people, you’d find them in Schitt’s Creek. This heartfelt comedy tracks the Rose family as they lose their wealth overnight and are forced to move to a small town with an unfortunate name.

Out of money and out of touch, their limited life experiences leave them ill equipped for the real world. Moira Rose (played brilliantly by Catherine O’Hara) has roughly 100 wigs that she christens with human names. In episode 10, a Schitt’s Creek townie tries to touch her wig and is firmly told that “Maureen does not like to be man-handled.”

Creator, writer, and actor Dan Levy was forced to be frugal with his budget and had to costume a very rich family on a very small budget. He sourced most of the pieces off of consignments and eBay, which ironically matches the show’s “boujee on a budget” shtick. Schitt’s Creek ended after a phenomenal 6 seasons, because Levy respected his audience and did not want the show to overstay its welcome… which is the most Canadian thing ever. Schitt's Creek is, for all intents and purposes, a perfect show.

Women in Your Ears SHANTI MATHIAS | SHE/HER

My friend Bri started a podcast because she wanted to be on Spotify and can’t sing. The result is an ‘anonymous’ advice podcast, which is enjoyable to listen to if you know enough of her friends to guess at who is asking for advice.

This is how podcasts are supposed to be, part of the same mythology as blogs: something that anyone can make, and anyone can listen to, accessible for free.

Still, podcasts are a medium, developed over the last two decades, and now replete with as many high budget productions and corporate sponsors as punters who decided to start recording something in their spare time.

In podcasts, as with other mediums, power structures are replicated, and this includes sexism.

Many of the most popular podcasts are headlined by men.

Reply All, a podcast “about internet culture,” is fronted by PJ and Alex, two men whose banter and teasing is a good deal of the appeal of the show. I’ve listened to a few episodes of The Joe Rogan Experience at the behest of my boyfriend, in its brash bro-ishness, although I understand that for many men, this form is an ideal way to engage with big ideas that they might not feel able to do otherwise.

Good podcasts—no matter who they’re made by—appeal to people of all genders. Certain podcast forms lend themselves to replication, making space for more women in the process. The Daily, the New York Times podcast which popularised the ‘interview journalists to learn about one particular piece of news’ format, is headlined by Michael Barbaro. Other takes on the form allow more space for women, including non-white women—The Detail’s Sharon Brettkelly, Today in Focus’s Anushka Asthana, and Full Story’s Laura Murphy-Oates.

Some excellent podcasts are about the issues that are traditionally associated with women: sex and fashion. The Spinoff’s On the Rag, with Leonie Hayden, Alex Casey, and Michele A’Court is bitingly funny, and provides an inclusive feminist perspective on a range of contemporary issues in Aotearoa. Hannah Witton’s Doing It! and Melody Thomas’s Bang! are focused on different aspects of sex.

Hannah Witton gets an excellent range of guests, from a Muslim woman who has had an unplanned pregnancy to an LGBT travel writer to a sex-positive Christian model. Bang!, made by RNZ, is completely delightful, carried mainly by the energy of its host. Melody talks to ordinary people and experts about experiences of sex and sexuality, including boundaries around kink and polyamory and how people stay with their partners, even if humans didn’t evolve for monogamy. There are also some extra-fun live episodes.

All these podcasts use inclusive language (no TERFs in my feminist podcasts thanks very much!), and are welcoming and accessible to people of all genders.

When women led-podcasts are given big budgets, it is marvellous to see what can happen. Avery Trufelman’s magnificent Articles of Interest (a spinoff from Roman Mars’ design podcast 99% Invisible) has interlocking stories about fashion. The episodes on pockets, wedding dresses, and diamond rings are particularly recommended. For more feminist, more interesting history than NCEA exposed you to, Dana Schwartz’s Noble Blood provides elegantly written, totally fascinating stories of different royal people from around the world and how they died. The episodes on Carlota of Mexico and series on Henry VII’s wives are especially excellent.

With podcasts, it is possible for me to be making dinner and learning Chinese history; walking into town, and feeling infuriated by another country’s political situation. I love how podcasts can fill spaces in my life when I would otherwise be lost in the ordinariness of my own thoughts; suddenly, I am elsewhere, another part of the world spilling over into my reality. It’s vitally important to me that the podcasts I listen to reflect a world where women’s contributions are valued.

CULTURE: PODCAST REVIEW

31

Get Your Mediocre Poetry Out Of Our Dms ALICE MANDER AND JOANNA LI | SHE/HER

Last year, we wrote a review tackling the “long, long list of media that men have recommended to us.” All of which were things we never actually intended to watch when we said, “I’ll add it to the list”. Not-so-surprisingly, this article upset some people. Describing a live performance by Rex Orange County as “like a man who has too much to drink before getting it on: sad, a little limp, and just downright embarrassing” was reason enough for us to be considered too contrarian for our own good, perhaps even misandrists.

There is nothing more coveted than being labelled an artistic “genius.” It’s what gets you the awards—the Oscars, the Emmys, the Grammys. It’s what gives you fame, status, credibility and, ultimately, money. And while there’s nothing necessarily harmful about drunk with long hair discussing the artistic flair of Sticky Fingers (and their long list of copycats), it does beg the question, “Who the fuck let white dude Instagram poetry join the ranks of ‘genius’?”

Atticus Poetry Where…do we start? This guy is a New York Times best selling author, of not one, not two, but FOUR poetry books.

The critique of Instagram poetry is a whole other minefield, so let’s ignore the all lowercase, justified left, Times New Roman pressing-enter-after-every-third-word stylistic poetry. Let’s focus on the content. Three stunning poems for you today—all untitled, obviously: “I feel like girls who drink whiskey tell good stories.”

Yes. That is an actual poem by Atticus Poetry. People have gotten TATTOOS of this shit. For what? Some “I’m not like other girls” bullshit nonsense? This poem has THIRTY THREE THOUSAND likes on Instagram. “Oooohhh she drinks whiskey ooooohhhh that makes her morally superior to other girls who only drink rainbow Smirnoff cruisers!!

Oooohh how dare they enjoy drinks like that, see this whiskey girl is BETTER because she has TASTE to enjoy drinks made for MEN.” Get the fuck out of here and take your mansplaining of Foucault and Camus with you.

Rating: 0/10 for the abject rage we felt the longer we thought about this poem.

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CULTURE: REVIEW

“The sex was a bonus to the great and wondrous privilege of being in close proximity to her jokes.”

We genuinely thought this was a joke when we first read it. Like ignore the content for a second—the language isn’t even good! It doesn’t flow, the guy needs nineteen words to essentially say “funny girls are sexy”. Okay, bro! Just say that!

It’s not a crime to say that! You just know this is the type of guy who claims to be attracted to your intellect while y’all banging.

Rating: -10000/10 feels like something a fedora-wearing “why do nice guys always come last” dude would say.

“Your sweater smells like you she said I wish it were a magic sweater so when i took it off and shook it you would arrive in it just like magic — I hate sweaters that aren’t magic.”

Okay, the sentiment is kind of sweet. But again, what the fuck does this actually mean? This reads like a shitpost, so either this man is the world’s best troll, or just has absolutely no self-awareness.

Rating: 1/10 for genuinely making us consider whether this is all a pisstake that we’ve completely fallen for.

In summary, if a woman had written poetry like this, she would likely have been criticised to holy hell for “not writing true poetry”. There would’ve been parodies making fun of her writing style. She would be completely ridiculed, not put on a pedestal like dear old Atticus has been here. And THAT is what makes us mad.

YTG Playlist Alright ladies. Let’s set the scene.

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Here’s the playlist.

(If you don’t know—go to the search bar on your Spotify app, hit the camera button and scan)

CULTURE: YTG PLAYLIST

33

VUWSA

20 21

Voting takes place online between 7-10 September at: voting.vuwsa.org.nz Paper ballots can be cast at the VUWSA Kelburn office between 10am & 4pm.

Student Executive Elections

Meet Your Candidatesâ&#x20AC;Ś 34

President

Jack Walker Kia ora! My name is Jack Walker and I am one of your presidential candidates for this year’s VUWSA election. Born in Tāmakimakaurau – Auckland and raised in Ōtautahi – Christchurch, I came to Wellington in 2017 to study here at Victoria. I have always enjoyed listening to, engaging with and helping others, and this is what I have spent most of my university years doing. For the past 4 years, I have worked within a number of university communities: halls, Te Aro, and clubs, and I have strived to listen to, work with and advocate for these communities. I have always tried to give to them and to make a difference within these communities. What drew me to these roles was my desire to make a difference in other peoples’ lives; to listen to them, to understand who they are, why they do what they do, and to empower them to make a difference.

This is why I aspire to be the VUWSA president. To me the VUWSA president should be of the people, for the people and by the people. It shouldn’t be someone who has a personal agenda; the VUWSA president should be in office to serve the people, to listen to them, to collaborate with them, to engage with them and to advocate for them. I am going in to this campaign with the goal of leaving the presidency, VUWSA and Victoria in a better place than when I found them.

I believe that VUWSA should be about empowering others. I believe that this can be done through active engagement, collaboration and communication.

As president, I will strive to understand all peoples, to listen to them, to understand why they do what they do and to empower them to make the difference that they want to see.

I don’t believe in my capability to make a lot of change. I believe in my capacity to enable people to make change. As president, I aim to make sure that everyone has the capacity to be the change that they want to see.

Ngā mihi, @jack.walker2020

Michael Turnbull Kia ora, I’m Michael Turnbull (AKA Mikey T), and you're reading this ripper of a blurb because I’m running to be your VUWSA President for 2021. I’m a Canterbury-born and South-Auckland raised LLB/BA student. I have a twang to my voice, fashionable mullet and a passion for student advocacy.

This year I've served as Welfare Vice-President on VUWSA and advocated on behalf of students in areas of welfare, equity and sustainability. I’m ready to take these skills into the role of President, and use my experience and ideas to lead students through 2021.

I know how powerful VUWSA can be in creating change and steering the direction of student advocacy at VUW. However, some crucial change is necessary to ensure that our association continues to deliver for our students.

My policies focus on three main areas: 1. Reigniting In order to reignite the association's role in leading student advocacy, VUWSA must take a proactive, transparent and bold stance on issues. This requires communication and transparency around our campaigns and initiatives. This will ensure VUWSA is both supporting students, as well as being held accountable.

2. Re-engaging Student advocacy runs off the strength of our unified voice. VUWSA should re-engage with representative and faculty groups to ensure our voices are loud enough to stop another name change (or two). I will ensure there is partnership between the university and students by further developing forums such as the Student Assembly and Halls Committee.

3. Reforming It’s time the guiding documents of VUWSA, including the Constitution, Executive Member Statutes and Memorandum of Understandings, are reformed to bring efficiency and success in delivering for students. I have the institutional knowledge and passion to do this right.

So to reignite, re-engage and reform student advocacy at VUW, vote Mikey T.

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Academic Vice President Laura Jackson Hey! My name is Laura, I’m a fourth-year law, criminology and psychology student and I’m running to be VUWSA’s Academic Vice-President for 2021.

I’ve been heavily involved in the academic representation sphere at VUWSA over the past four years, having been a class rep, faculty delegate for FHSS, representative on the Academic Board and part of the university’s COVID-19 response. Now I want to take it to the next level!

I will ensure we’ll have proactive engagement with our class reps through 3-4 weekly check-ins and increase awareness and access to faculty delegates roles through increased advertising.

I will also strengthen the relationships with lecturers so we can work towards having better access to lecture recordings and extensions moving forward.

Finally, I will implement a review process of student representation at the school-board level to ensure we are in the room for those important discussions.

After the crazy year we’ve had, I believe it is important to have a dedicated leader at the helm to make the most of the progress online-learning has granted us. To find out how I’m going to achieve these goals, check out my Facebook page – “Vote Laura - VUWSA Academic VP 2021”!

Cherri-Lyn Lomax Morris I’m Cherri-Lyn, a third year Political Science/Marketing student running for Academic VP. It’s been a CRAZY year, one highlighting that mental health is not paramount in uni operations, there’s A LOT of frustration concerning transparency and students are wanting to be heard! These issues have encouraged me to run as I want to strengthen the connection and confidence between students and the uni. I want people to feel they have influence and ability to change big decisions.

As AVP I’ll push for...

1. Transparency Advocate the university to commit to open, formal and cooperative processes. This is YOUR university, why shouldn't you know what's up?

2. Empathy • Advocating for an empathetic approach towards education through...

• Lecture recordings • Making buffers available for students to miss a mandatory (graded participation) tutorial and not be disadvantaged • 12-hour (one-off) extensions.

3. Representation Empowering advocacy while remaining on the pulse of student issues, engaging in early advocacy- We don't want issues to snowball - solve them early!!!

• Panels throughout the year BY students ABOUT student issues • Promoting the existing open-online forum If you vibed this VOTE Cherri-Lyn for AVP. Lets make Vic the best for US! Visit ‘Vote Cherri-Lyn for VUWSA Academic VP 2021’ on FB!

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Blake Steel Kia ora koutou, My name is Blake Steel and I am excited to be announcing my candidacy to be your VUWSA Academic Vice President for 2021. As an aspiring young leader, I would like to continue the excellent work VUWSA has done and build upon their successes. Currently studying a Bachelor of Arts (International Relations and Political Science).

I hold a particular interest in youth and our place in the world. We are currently facing a moment in history where we can make real change. I believe that young people should be at the forefront of generating ideas and setting the agenda for the future. I aim to foster a learning environment at VUW where each and every student can flourish and achieve their full potential.

My key policies are: • INCLUSION: All course content and teaching methods to be accessible for and usable by all students across all backgrounds.

• EMPOWERMENT: Enable students to take control of their education so that every student can set and accomplish their goals.

• ACCOUNTABILITY: Build trust through transparency and responsibility so that all students and teaching staff can unite together in the pursuit of academic excellence. Make no mistake, vote for Blake!

Engagement Vice President Grace Carr Kia ora e te whānau, I’m Grace Carr; a science student with big pisces energy, relentlessly passionate about social issues, and I’m running to be your Engagement Vice-President for 2021!

Currently your Campaigns Officer, I want to continue current initiatives and push through new *exciting* ideas.

As your EVP, I will focus on 3 main goals: • ADVOCACY: channelling student voices on student issues through the City Council and Government.

- Advocate for student rights.

- Run submission parties and support students in making their voices heard.

- Develop online resources that allow students to engage and advocate meaningfully.

• ACCESSIBILITY: breaking down the barriers to engaging with VUWSA. - Create a more diverse range of events that caters to all audiences.

- Provide upskilling & training, accessible language, and handy resources.

- Run AMAs, pop up booths, and create a handbook on the inner workings of VUWSA. • TRANSFORMATION: utilizing the power of students to transform the role of VUWSA. - Collaborate and engage with the student community to build meaningful relationships.

- Hold space for students and VUWSA to work collaboratively on issues that matter to students.

- Transform the physical space VUWSA has to allow for better collaboration and engagement.

Vote Grace for VUWSA EVP to be empowered collectively <3

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Welfare Vice President Ralph Zambrano Kia ora, mabuhay, hello!

My name is Ralph Zambrano and I am running to be YOUR next Welfare VP! I am a proud Wellingtonian, another LLB/BA student, your current VUWSA Treasurer-Secretary, and am ready to further the welfare mahi in 2021!

Being a student isn’t easy. Sometimes, it’s hard to get out of bed, do readings, attend classes, hand in assignments and be okay. Too many have fallen through the cracks and it’s time for change.

As your next Welfare VP, I will work on 3 key policy areas: 1. BETTER TOGETHER: Continuing the push for greater mental health and wellbeing action.

• Work with relevant groups to improve student support systems • Expand the provision and accessibility of crucial VUWSA services • Build on current sustainability initiatives 2. STRONGER TOGETHER: Finding unity through diversity.

• Amplify the lobbying power of important student bodies • Support welfare and representative groups to address big issues • Collaborate and connect the student community to push for better welfare outcomes 3. ADVANCE TOGETHER: Making a real difference in 2021.

• Advance better financial support and increase student grants • Promote disclosure training and safer spaces • Create a university wide wellbeing policy and framework Let’s move forward, together.

VOTE RZ FOR WVP!

Education Officer Ciara Mitchell Hi Everyone!

I am running to be your VUWSA Education Officer in 2021. I am currently in my second year of my degree studying political science and international relations.

I am a Non-Binary (They/Them) person who is passionate about advocating for students at Victoria University.

Currently, I am a class rep for the majority of my courses, something I love doing as I can help students, and also get extensions for the class when an assignment is due. But now I want to make sure that every student has access to an equitable education at Vic. This, unfortunately, does not occur currently at Vic. While there are services are in place to aid with this, lecturers sometimes choose to ignore it.

As someone who has a learning disability, I have been treated like I am not as good as other students, and I want to change this for everyone, not just myself.

I hope that I can make a change in this university, but I need your help to do it.

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James Daly Kia ora koutou, My life is guided by my favourite whakataukī: He aha te mea nui o te ao. He tāngata, he tāngata, he tāngata. What is the most important thing in the world? It is people, it is people, it is people. I believe we, as individuals, and as a wider community, cannot achieve long-term academic success without looking after ourselves and those around us first.

About me: Choir boy, makes an epic caramel slice (for the bois), LLB/BA majoring in History/Pols. I also lead two PASS classes and volunteer for the Wellington Community Justice Project, working with a team to provide advocacy for a Māori land and water interest group.

I will promote your equity and wellbeing through: • Advocacy. As Education Officer, I will amplify your voices, not speak over or for you. I aim to push back on the issues of ALL students against the Uni agenda.

• Inclusive. Recognising whanaungatanga - we are stronger when we are supported by our communities. I aim to support and uplift community at Vic. • Informed. I aim to keep YOU up to date any academic policy changes VUWSA or the Uni pushes through.

Make sure to VOTE for James Daly.

Campaigns Officer Katherine Blow Kia ora e te whānau!

I’m Katherine and I’m running to be your 2021 Campaigns Officer!

I am (yet) another second-year LLB/BA student, hailing from the mighty Hamilton. Previously, I volunteered for Waikato Queer Youth, SHAMA Hamilton Ethnic Women’s Centre Trust, and the Waikato Filipino Association. Since moving to Wellington, I have been involved in VUWSA’s General Election campaign, and Community Law’s Student Rights Service through the Wellington Community Justice Project.

I am also on the Greens @ Vic exec and work with the Greens in other areas too.

For instance, I recently featured in the Green Party’s ad campaign so you might already know my face from there!

Above all, I am passionate about advancing student issues and bringing about real change! As your Campaigns Officer, I will run campaigns focussing on: • STUDENT VOICES: Cementing the student voice at the forefront of the university, particularly minority and indigenous voices.

• STUDENT ISSUES: Addressing student issues at Vic to allow safe access to education without barriers.

• STUDENT EXPERIENCE: Fixing wider-world structural barriers that disproportionately affect students. Cold flats, exploitative landlords, and having $10 after rent ain’t good enough!

Vote Katherine for strong advocacy and action on student issues and experiences!

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Rilke Comer I’m Ri and I’m running to be your 2021 VUWSA Campaigns Officer! I’m running to make Victoria University a place where everyone feels like they can be informed and involved with the state of the world.

Throughout high school, I ran just about every event I could, including the LGBT+ safegroup, ball committees and multiple environmental projects. I currently work as a coordinator for The Climate Challenge and help out with projects around Wellington, including Getting Young People Enrolled to Vote.

I’ve grown up a debater and am often found coaching my highschool kids or yelling with other uni squads.

As a student in the activist sphere, it’s always an uphill battle to get what you want. I’m passionate about maintaining well-being in leadership, and making spaces accessible.

INCLUSION - I think it’s important that everyone’s identity has the opportunity to be included in university life, especially in decisions regarding student wellbeing.

INVOLVEMENT - I want to build campaigns that allow everyone to get involved with movements they’re passionate about by creating platforms where student initiatives have a place to thrive.

INNOVATION - I want every student to feel their perspectives and methods are valid and uniquely helpful in solving the world's problems.

Alexis Mundy My name is Alexis Mundy and I am running to be your next VUWSA Campaigns Officer for 2021 So who am I? I am a mature student in my second year doing a BA Majoring in Philosophy and English Literature.

I am from the UK originally, have been in New Zealand and love it here. I enjoy campaigning, music, reading, socialising and enjoying each new day.

What would you not expect if you met me?

Well I have 5 tattoos and I also did a bungee jump lol!

So why do I want to be a Campaigns Officer?

Well as a Campaigns Officer, I want to help empower and support students in any way I can, especially within the realms of financial, disability race, education and gender issues whilst also helping students to start their own campaigns as I strongly believe in self advocacy I want to make Vic more Campaign focused and representative of ALL students!

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Clubs & Activities Officer Tara O’Sullivan Kia ora I’m Tara! I’m running for clubs and activities officer because I strongly value the friendships and sense of community that they bring. Clubs are one of the few tangible outlets that the Uni gives us and says “hey, you do you”, and I love that about it.

I’ve worked hard in my clubs the last couple of years, I’m over-zealous and I can be demanding, but it’s because I want to see shit happen. I’m a policy major so my policies are specific, no fluff, here’s what I envision for 2021: 1. Networking events for clubs twice a trimester where clubs can learn from each other and create bigger and better events for students.

2. Establish a working group and action plan for club engagement at Pipitea and Te Aro 3. Create resources that clubs can use to increase accessibility for students, accompanied by a document explaining their importance and how to use them.

All my policies center around getting more students involved with clubs and making the student experience that much better. I fucking love clubs and I want every other student at Victoria to experience that as well.

Zoë Simpson Hello! I’m Zoë Simpson and I’m hyped to be running to be your 2021 Clubs and Activities Officer!

I’m a second-year Law and Arts student, local to Wellys. I’m a tea and film enthusiast who rates a good boogie above all!

Clubs are essential to university culture; they bring diverse students together, inspire new interests and passions, and most importantly, transform your university experience from academic angst to loads of fun and memories. I want to see clubs become the backbone of Vic’s culture. I’m passionate about supporting clubs as much as possible on campus, while advocating for the wants and needs of students, old and new.

My 3 main spicy initiatives are: INCLUSIVITY: ensuring a welcoming and equitable clubs culture as well as involving students from all walks of life and all campuses!

SUSTAINABILITY: making club joining accessible and easy for EVERY student and achieving sustained interest from students!

ENGAGEMENT: increasing clubs’ promotion and online presence to inform and attract all students to events and meetings!

Most importantly, I will be one of the VUWSA voices on the exec representing YOU and advocating for YOUR wellbeing, academia and fair treatment.

Vote for Zo, that’s the go!

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Sustainability Officer Sophie Dixon Kia ora koutou! I’m Sophie Dixon, a 2nd year studying Law and English. I’m a huge fan of long Zoom meetings, simple cross-stitch, and pretending to be a proper bird watcher. I have had the privilege of being Wellbeing and Sustainability Officer during the absolutely hectic year of 2020, and I’m stoked to be running for the role again.

I have the skills and experience to take the role forward with a stronger Sustainability focus.

This year I’ve been involved in developing Green Impact for Students, submitted on the Golden Mile reform regarding green spaces, public transport and pedestrianisation, and participated in Climate Justice training, as well as coordinating the Sustainability Committee, and the short -lived Sustainability Week.

I have three main policies for 2021: • Reduce: looking at tackling food waste in halls effectively and reporting on the University’s Zero – Carbon plan.

• Re-Use: capitalising on what we already have - I have strong connections across campuses to develop a dynamic Sustainability Committee and create a fantastic Sustainability Week. I will also promote and strengthen existing services.

• Recycle: looking at the student experience, and different ways to incorporate Sustainability from flatting to exam delivery to purchasing course materials.

Vote Sophie!

Louise Coram-Lasnier Kia Ora! I'm Louise, I am a Welly local second year, majoring in Environmental Science and International Relations.

Since COVID-19 it's become obvious that Aotearoa is more than capable of mass systemic change. There's nothing stopping us from transforming our university policies to preserve our environment. As students I believe we set the example for the ‘Boomers in the Beehive’. That's why I care about bringing sustainable practices to all aspects of your life: your flatting environment, mode of transport and your supermarket shop.

So no matter if you've been on the VSCO bandwagon since birth or can barely keep a plant alive, I want to make sustainability accessible, easy and fun for you. Leading a sustainable life on a busy schedule shouldn't have to be a chore.

With thoughtful clear policies we can make it a smooth transition.

I am currently the President of the Op Soc, world famous (in Wellington) for our double denim parties and other events. I'm a sucker for environmental issues and have been known to go on drunk tangents about recycling schemes.

I am ready for the next step and turn ideas into actions.

As your sustainability officer I will advocate for accountability, inclusivity and equity.

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Equity & Wellbeing Officer Monica Lim The intersectionality and diversity of disadvantage means everyone has different lived experiences.

I believe that no candidate can represent all of them through personal experience. That's why to run a campaign that centers equity and need-based solutions, i'm centring YOUR experiences with university through these (briefly explained) values: Accessibility: When you’re fighting to operate within an oppressive colonial institution that suppresses minority voices, reaching out to student services can be exhausting. My idea of accessibility is one that centres kotahitanga and manaakitanga. It's about actively saying “We want you here” not “go fetch” Representation: To represent the student body is to act as an ally and listen. My taringas are open! On my event page there is an anonymous form for you to go ham and rant on. My contact details are down below. Tell me about your issues! I want to listen.

Accountability: Our university needs to be held accountable for its failure to center equity.

Allyship is something I'm adamant about establishing within Victoria. We need signposted, accessible systems in place for restorative justice, clear educational initiatives and to decolonize by centering Māori.

My campaign is about you.

Ngā mihi, Monica Lim.

George Garnett Kia Ora my name is George Garnett and I’m your best choice for Equity and Wellbeing Officer 2021.

I am running for this office because we need change. Whilst I know another straight white guy might not help, I still believe I can cause change in the system we have.

As Equity and Wellbeing Officer I will prioritise the mental health and financial support of students, and also protect the inherent equality between all students.

To fulfil these policies I will: 1. Challenge the University on any policy they create that may cause grief or harm to anyone; 2. Be an open port of call for anyone who wants to chat, for whatever reason; 3. Push for GWRC to allow students on busses and trains for free, for at least the rest of the year, if not longer; 4. Push for more access to and availability of Student Services on all three campuses; 5. Push for more access and availability to places where students can catch up on sleep during the day, on all three campuses.

Remember these policies when you vote George for Change!

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Georgia Huisman Kia ora e te whānau, I’m Georgia Huisman and I am stoked to be running to be your VUWSA Equity and Wellbeing Officer in 2021.

I am a second-year Bachelor of Arts student in Public Policy and Classical Studies.

Some of my main concerns that I would like to bring to the table are: • Improving the quality of our halls of residence • Doubling down on racist and colonialist mindsets within the university • Making sure the university meets accessibility requirements • Creating safer spaces for trans and gender non-conforming folks • Holding the university accountable for mental and financial trauma to students during their COVID-19 response Something that I believe in very strongly is allowing decisions to be made by the people who are directly impacted by them. In this role, I am not looking to become some kind of symbolic leader — I’m looking to be the link between students and staff, that addresses the issues that matter to you. Ultimately, this position is a vehicle that is driven by you.

Leshgoooo!

Treasurer-Secretary Nathan Campbell Gooday, I’m Nathan. I’m a second-year Political science and international student currently running for the position of treasurer/secretary for VUWSA. Some things about me is that I’m from Napier (born in Dannevirke). I’m currently treasurer of Thursday In Black which has been a passion and a priority to me throughout this year. Running for treasurer has been a decision that I have taken very seriously, I would like to bring the best of my abilities and character to the position.

My key attributes and promises I would like to bring is adaptivity, accountability, accessibility, and reliability. I believe these traits surmise what is most needed for an effective treasurer/secretary. I believe that the experience I have from Thursdays In Black treasurer is sufficient for treasurer/ secretary and I want to be able to aid as many people.

The promises enacted appear as: • Adaptability: Being able to adapt the budget to aid the future plans of the other VUWSA members as well as being prepared.

• Accountability: Effective and responsible use of spending, which won’t be covered up from the students.

• Accessibility: Making myself and my documents readily accessible to every student and making the documents easier to read.

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Amelia Blamey Kia ora!

My name is Amelia Blamey, I’m a third-year student studying Economics and Environmental Science, and I am running for Treasurer-Secretary! Here’s why: Through a well-balanced budget and attentive financial management, VUWSA is able to deliver some awesome services. I’m excited to continue to invest in these areas and to make the necessary reforms to improve your student life!

These include: FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE - Currently, most of VUWSA’s funding comes from the University, which diminishes our collective negotiation power. Independent funding options (e.g. community grants) means that VUWSA can advocate for students first!

BETTER SERVICES - We will continue to invest in all the services you love (free menstrual products and bus passes) AND develop more, such as financial advice to clubs/students.

COVID ASSISTANCE - Establishing a COVID Representative Group, so that funding is set aside in case we move to Level 3/4. This could include subsidising internet routers, ensuring all textbooks are online, and increasing mental health support.

I’ve been an economics tutor, the Community Engagement Advisor for Volunteering NZ, Customer Engagement Manager at Inspiration Education, and part of the Akoranga in Action program, and now I’d love to represent YOU as the 2021 VUWSA Treasurer-Secretary!

Troy Brown Kia Ora, I’m Troy and I’m running to be your Treasurer-Secretary for VUWSA for 2021!

I’m a law, economics, and finance student here at Vic and also a residential advisor in the halls. I’m vying for your vote so I can ensure VUWSA is vocal, organised, transparent, and economical. I want to provide what students want in a budget, and as your Treasurer-Secretary I’ll listen, giving you more of what you want and less of what you don’t. I’ll make sure that VUWSA remains an organised and efficient operation, by ensuring meetings are regular and that plenty of notice is given before any events.

In addition to this, I’ll continue the posting of meeting minutes online and make sure VUWSA is open about what they do with your money. VUWSA’s 2020 budget deficit means that they’ll have to cut out vital programmes, but I won’t let that happen. I’ll establish a COVID-proof budget and guarantee a financial surplus for 2021, by seeking out additional alternate funding and cutting back on wasteful expenses.

For a more vocal, organised, transparent and economical VUWSA – VOTE Troy.

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Levi Gibbs Are you sick and tired of tossing and turning at night, worrying about the finances of VUWSA? Do you find yourself zoning out in conversation, ruminating about wasteful spending that should be allocated into crucial university services?

Well today may be your lucky day.

My name is Levi and I’m running to be your next treasurer secretary.

As a fellow student paying a decent chunk in student levy, I want to make sure this money is spent into services that we truly care about.

My policies are built on three main pillars 1. SUPPORT – Economically, we are in difficult times as a country, and students have been hard hit by its effects. We need to expand our services that provide financial help to students in distress.

2. REALLOCATION – We need to cut wasteful spending and allocate this money into areas we care about as a university. Such as, student welfare, advocacy and health services.

3. TRANSPARENCY – Let’s be honest, a lot of us don’t know where their student levy goes. As treasurer I will make this information more interactive and user friendly, so you can see where every cent of your levy is being spent.

Nga Mihi, Levi x

Lachlan Craig This year I ruffled some feathers with the grade-bump/student support campaign over lockdown, and I’m here to take that further. We need more than a student association, we need a student union. I’ve been working with members of the current exec as well as NZUSA to enact this, and Treasurer-Secretary is the best role to get this done.

ACCOUNTABILITY It’s clear we need a more effective VUWSA that can hold our university to account. A quick glance over the past year gives us: • Lack of proper student support over lockdown • The name change • Lockdown accommodation fees REFORM Treasurer-secretary is the ideal position for constitutional reform, which is what we need for long-lasting change. My plan involves a combination of structural reform, as well as redefining the position of treasurer-secretary to be more assertive and advocacy-based.

STUDENT BODY, NOT STUDENT EXECUTIVE Our SA needs to be receptive to the issues of students – we shouldn’t need independent campaigns representing students when we already elect representatives.

ABOUT ME • Fourth year law and arts student • Executive of VUW Climate Clinic and United Nations Association of New Zealand • Balanced budgets, invoicing, funding, with Office of The Prime Minister to organise UN Day at Premier House

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Crossword: Bed Head

ACROSS

1.

5.

10.

11.

13.

14.

17.

19.

21.

22.

23.

24.

27.

29.

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Lurker; sports shoe (7) Act like (7) Unbelievable caption on many beauty selfies... and a hint to the starts of the shaded entries (1,4,2,4,4) Days of ___ (olden times) (4) Alder and elder, say (5) The Dead Sea is high in it (4) Seasonal setting of a Shakespeare tale (6) Forester's shout; forester's product (6) See 27-Across With 23-Across, Ty Dolla $ign's 'Expensive' collaborator (5,5) See 22-Across Dry white wine that might make you babbly - it sort of rhymes with it, too (7) With 21-Across, Lorde album featuring 'Tennis Court' (4,7) Word that can precede performance, oil, or hours (4) Lorde album featuring 'The Louvre' (this isn't a theme; I was just stoked to fit both albums in here!) (9) Meat substitute whose flavour is developed during the grinding process (4)

OCCUPATION STATION

32.

33.

Shreds (4) 'Of Mice and Men' novelist John (9)

DOWN

2.

3.

4.

6.

7.

8.

9.

11.

12.

15.

16.

18.

20.

25.

26.

28.

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Unaccustomed; just starting out (3,2) Low joint (5) It passes throus eleven countries, including five separate districts of Indonesia (7) Arrives; taps in a game of tag (5,2) Shakespearean Andronicus (5) Court proceedings; ordeal (5) Trump's nickname for his current presidential competitor (6,3,5) Deep, wide chasm (7,3) Transport acquired at an airport (8) Vibe of a place (8) Comedy you've heard heaps before (5,5) The principal one in hedonism is maximising pleasure (5) Things in an inventory (5) Cut in two (5) Graphical content (5) Birds that won an Australian war in 1932 (4) The 'P' of 'PRNDL' (4)

Word of the Week: ‘women’

Te Reo Māori

Sudoku

NZSL

wāhine

Sister Empowerment

Environment's Solution

Dismantling the Patriarchy

Bachelor of Communication Experiential and industry-connected “People were sceptical of my pursuing a creative qualification...

But, I wanted to write and create, and learn how to make things. By experiencing the breadth and depth of the creative industries, I knew I could make a career out of it.”

Annabel Hawkins – Freelance Copywriter and Digital Strategist Bachelor of Communication (Journalism and Expressive Arts) With practice-relevant majors in Communication Management, Digital Marketing, Expressive Arts, Journalism, Linguistics, Media Studies and Public Relations, our graduates are employed across 20 industry categories with more than 280 different job titles.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND YOUR HEAD FIND OUT MORE AT MASSEY.AC.NZ/BC 49

Horoscopes MADDI ROWE | SHE/HER

To quote the inimitable Alfred Dennis, our subeditor, three red wines down and in the middle of the first verse of ‘Truth Hurts’ by Lizzo: “Yeah the girls,”.

We stan. Here’s the signs as FUCKING ICONIC WOMEN.

ARIES Lady Gaga. There could be 100 people in a room, and only one will listen to you rant about tiny, insignificant things no one picks up on. That’s how you know you’re among a fellow Aries.

TAURUS Megan Fox. The OG 2000s Hot Girl. She made all of us wanna seduce a bitch with a Zippo. Taureans share the same illustrious art of seduction. Use your power for good, BITCH!

CANCER

LEO

Missy Elliott. Is it worth it? Let Cancer daydream, cry, and sleep on it. Put ya thing down, flip it and reverse it, BITCH!

Whitney Houston. Not one person on this earth was as regal, brilliant, and talented as Whitney.

Which is why it makes complete and utter sense that she was a Leo.

LIBRA Carrie Fisher. Literally who else could popularise looking like an ethereal space princess than a fucking Libra?? Not to mention the dynamite intelligence. Librans are so lucky.

GEMINI Laverne Cox. A goddess walking among us mortal beings who are undeserving of her breath. What better way to encapsulate Gemini energy? Remember what you are–above it all.

VIRGO Beyoncé. Sweetie, I am so sorry that you have to fraternize with such bah-sic bitches. Peak Virgo energy is curating your own performance down to sequin placement, sound inflection, and obscure references no one notices.

SCORPIO Willow Smith. Infrared vids of asanas on IG, confronting your parents and their failed marriage, leaving your consciousness in different dimensions. I bet you have dreams about the apocalypse all the time.

SAGITTARIUS Nicki Minaj. Chaos in the form of different shades of hair, songs about dick, confronting our lukewarm foes on global stages.

Sounds like a bitta you.

CAPRICORN Betty White. You old. But ur also a literal trailblazer, and MAKING BANK. What movie or TV show is Betty White not in??? If she’s anything to go by, it’s that you’re gonna be rolling in a paddling pool of coins when you’re 96.

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HOROSCOPES

AQUARIUS

PISCES

Megan Thee Stallion. AHH! Literally keep talking ur shit, the Aquarian patron saint Meg will drive the boat of life. Buy a diamante thong and a Pat McGrath palette to honour her, and your future grandchildren who will twerk on your grave.

Rihanna. Ugh. Ughhhh. All I think about is those femme fatale pearl sunglasses she wore at the Victoria’s Secret show, and then a couple years later, the launch of Savage X Fenty. So. Looks like we could learn something from you.

Icon, legend, star.

The Team EDITORS Kirsty Frame & Rachel Trow DESIGN & ILLUSTRATION Rowena Chow NEWS EDITORS Te Aorewa Rolleston & Finn Blackwell

CHIEF REPORTER Annabel McCarthy

SUB EDITOR Alfred Dennis SOCIAL MEDIA & WEB MANAGER Kane Bassett PODCAST MANAGER Matthew Casey

FEATURE EDITOR Janhavi Gosavi

STAFF WRITERS Lofa Totua Sally Ward Shanti Mathias

FEATURE WRITERS Niva Chittock Rosa Main Grace Clarke Sally Ward Lofa Totua

COLUMNISTS Frankie Dale Hannah Powell Rosie and Miia van Beusekom Niva Chittock Billie Angus Tara Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Connor Taylah Shuker

CONTRIBUTORS Maddi Rowe Puck Taylah Shuker Alice Mander Joanna Li Janhavi Gosavi Shanti Mathias Tessa Porter

POETRY EDITOR Janhavi Gosavi poetry@salient.org.nz

POETRY Caitlin Hicks

CENTREFOLD Jack Rossie @mouldyjuice

CONTACT US editor@salient.org.nz designer@salient.org.nz (centrefold artwork) news@salient.org.nz socialmedia@salient.org.nz FIND US fb.com/salientmagazine instagram.com/salientgram twitter.com/salientmagazine salient.org.nz

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MAKE IT CREAM, MAKE ME SCREAM OUT IN PUBLIC, MAKE A SCENE I DON'T COOK, I DON'T CLEAN BUT LET ME TELL YOU HOW I GOT THIS RING (AYY, AYY) GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME, DRIP DOWN THE SIDE OF ME (YEAH) QUICK, JUMP OUT 'FORE YOU LET IT GET INSIDE OF ME (YEAH) I TELL HIM WHERE TO PUT IT, NEVER TELL HIM WHERE I'M 'BOUT TO BE (HUH) I'LL RUN DOWN ON HIM 'FORE I HAVE A ***** RUNNIN' ME (POW, POW, POW) TALK YOUR SHIT, BITE YOUR LIP (YEAH) ASK FOR A CAR WHILE YOU RIDE THAT DICK (WHILE YOU RIDE THAT DICK) YOU REALLY AIN'T NEVER GOTTA FUCK HIM FOR A THANG (YEAH) HE ALREADY MADE HIS MIND UP 'FORE HE CAME (AYY, AH) NOW GET YOUR BOOTS AND YOUR COAT FOR THIS WET-ASS PUSSY (AH, AH, AH) HE BOUGHT A PHONE JUST FOR PICTURES OF THIS WET-ASS PUSSY (CLICK, CLICK, CLICK) PAY MY TUITION JUST TO KISS ME ON THIS WET-ASS PUSSY (MWAH, MWAH) 52