Salient Issue 09 - Volume 88

MAKE TOWN FUN AGAIN Like most other things in our city, Wellington’s nightlife is going through a rough patch. With a wave of violence in town, a historically low-energy fresher generation, and high drink prices forcing most sensible consumers into the warm clutches of a house party, town has mostly been relegated to the emotionally disturbed and perpetually intoxicated.

Despite this, there’s a very good case to be made for frequenting the clerb. For one, it helps break down social boundaries -- after all, house parties will only ever keep you in a relatively small and circular social network. It’s also a rough patch for the sizable student population who work in town, whether as bartenders, dishwashers, or doormen (doorpeople)? Getting out and about isn’t just good for the social fabric of our ever-fragmented community - it’s also a good way to keep your mates employed.

So, how to fix the Town Crisis? At the risk of sounding like the dearly departed Jacinda Ardern, kindness is a good place to start. If you’re walking home from the Bottle-O, give a homeless guy a beer or a cigarette. I can guarantee you he’ll enjoy it more than you will. Share your smokes or some Night n’ Day fries with a stranger on Courtenay Place, or make conversation with a busking musician. Talk to people in the club bathrooms -- ask them how their night was, or about their breakup. Remember, you’re all in there together, drunk and messy as you may be. There’s no room for superiority or snobbishness.

For my fellas out there, keep an eye out for your female friends’ drinks when they go to the bathroom. Socialising more doesn’t mean you have any less of a responsibility to look out for your friends. That probably means you drop the macho attitude when someone bumps your shoulder in Shady Lady too. Remember -- you’re not just standing up for yourself, you’re also putting the rest of your group in a situation they didn’t consent to.

I don’t want to come across as overly preachy. Most people still have excellent town etiquette, and in my experience, the problems are usually caused by older people, not students. It’s also probably not fair to prescribe good manners as a total solution to a declining social fabric and a lack of community.

That being said, we have to do something. Town being unsafe hurts those who are most vulnerable even in the status quo. Visibly queer and trans people, young women, and even just nerds who don’t get out much are all at risk when town becomes a safe haven for toxic egos and violent thuggishness. When people are shut out of a quintessential early-20s experience simply because their social nonconformity makes them a potential target for drunken violence or harassment, we’ve all failed each other. Even if we aren’t saving town, maybe we’re making someone else’s night. In my opinion, that’s good enough.

Friday

Friday

Keira Batten Coogan, w/ Elly Mae Lawson and Dillon Jo

Bacchus Harsh (AU) / Kolya / Low Impact Bounce

Hail, Meteor! w/ Blue Summer and Fouler

A powerhouse display of singer-songwriter talent from local heroes Keira Batten Coogan, Elly Mae Lawson, and emerging act Dillon Jo

A night of electronic, industrial and deconstructed club music.

7:30 - Valhalla - $10

8PM - Pyramid Club- $20

8PM - Underworld Tavern $15

Saturday

Saturday

Sunday

Eli Superflyy final show ft.

Menzies

Dónal Gunning and the Bucks - Single Release Party

Oddish

Eli Superflyy’s last show as a group, featuring special guests Menzies.

Come through to Garrett Street on May 10th for one final blowout with the gang.

Dónal Gunning and the Bucks celebrate their new single, Losing Weight, by taking the Underworld Tavern stage alongside New Teeth with support from Jeline.

As a 3 piece instrumental band with guitar, drums and bass, Oddish draw from instrumental maestros, ambient electronics, classical minimalism and the spirit of Japanese Soundtracks.

8PM - Garrett Street KOHA

8PM - Underworld Tavern $10

5PM - The Undercurrent - $10

Hail, Meteor! return to the Wellington stage for the first time in over a year. On May 9th they play tunes from their new album, along with Tawa act Fouler and Wellington’s premier dark pop-ists, The Blue Summer at Underworld Tavern on Pirie Street. There will be volume, there will be harmonies of strange origins, there will be a whole lot of reverb and deafening sway.

Salient // Town // Ētita • Editorial

Wednesday

Salient // Page 1

WHAT ARE WE PAYING FOR? For what?

A few hours a week of lecture, if that. The rest?

Self-study, self-regulation, self-doubt.

We are paying thousands to read alone. Write alone.

To chase a piece of paper that might—might—make us employable.

To pretend we’re being taught when we’re really being monitored.

Graded for how well we endure, not how well we could do.

Curiosity is dead and they killed it.

They call it education.

I wouldn’t use that word to describe what happens here.

No one explains why the price goes up, but the contact hours go down.

"It's just how it is".

The university does not teach us.

We teach ourselves.

Payment just rents us access.

To a name. A library. A faculty that’s overworked and underpaid.

They tell us to be grateful.

Grateful to go into debt for the privilege of being ignored.

Grateful to “build resilience” in a system that profits from our debt.

We fund this system at the price of our futures.

We fund this system with our hope.

And in return, we are told our value is in how quiet we stay when it fails us.

We get an overpriced piece of paper as a trophy.

And a lifelong debt.

We are told that this is normal.

Yet a few generations ago it was all free.

But we’re the lazy, ungrateful, snowflakes.

What I really am is tired and hungry.

So again, I dare ask, What exactly are we paying for?

-A fucked over and pissed off student.

Kia ora, I'm writing regarding the unofficial worst landlord article. I'm one of Matty B's tenants this year and would like to offer that stories really do have more than one side to them.

There was a striking lack of context in the article's section about Matty. Crucial details are neglected: the house is an explicitly Christian flat with community rules to be agreed upon by tenants (though, the ex-tenant may have felt blindsided by this. Fair enough), Matty doesn't even own the property (but apparently, as a "property owner in Kelburn", he is a rich man decidedly in contradiction with the teachings of Christ), and regarding the (or one of the?) "touching of belongings" event, I am told a heater was left on while the windows were open in a certain ex-tenant’s room, causing Matty to switch it off during a flat inspection.

Salient // Page 2

My flatmates and I this year have been very pleased with Matty and the board who owns the property, and his attention to our wellbeing as a flat. Much effort and resources have been put in by Matty and the board to help make the flat more liveable; an ongoing process. My flatmates and I thought this article was by and large an immature, unfair, and borderline defamatory description of events aimed primarily at making Matty look bad rather than genuinely offering a nuanced critique of his shortcomings as a landlord according to the experiences of an ex-tenant.

Thanks,

CHRIS B.

Salient // Town // Ētita • Editorial

A RETRACTION The article ‘Ayahuasca and dieta’ published in this week’s Cooked issue (no.7), contains the phrase “VUW-sanctioned psychedelics”.

This phrase was published despite explicitly not being approved by the PhD student involved. It should not be taken as a reflection of her research or views, nor the views of the Cultural Anthropology department or Faculty of Graduate Research.

Kia Ora, I would like to say that I greatly appreciate the range of diverse perspectives that Salient offers.

I believe that reading a variety of experiences and perspectives on a given issue is the key to understanding the issue. I think it's very immature to write a letter to the editor to complain that you had to read something that somebody else wrote, based on their personal experience, worldview and perspective. It's absurd and self centred to expect a magazine to only publish content that perfectly aligns with your opinions.

I personally love to read about people's personal experiences and I think the 2025 Salient team is doing an amazing job.

REGARDS. Do my eyes deceive me? The sudoku (and more!!!) has returned to the salient <3 You've made week, o' great puzzlers, & I'll be puzzling in my most boring lecture as a show of thanks.

Yours truly,

SUDOKU ADDICT

Dear Editor, I’m writing to express my serious disappointment and concern regarding the editor’s response published in the Sex Week issue of Salient.

The student who wrote in shared a non biased, neutral, honest opinion regarding their time being catered for by the Compass Group. Instead of responding with professionalism or respect, your editorial reply descended into crude political commentary and personal insult.

Not only did you completely misrepresent the tone and content of her letter confusing a brief mention of the Labour government for a political message - but you then took the opportunity to push your own agenda in the most vulgar and humiliating way possible. “How do Chris Luxon’s balls taste, mate?” Is this seriously the kind of rhetoric you think reflects student voice the entire goal of Salient? If you think so, the editor position has been wasted on you.

Did the original writer even have a chance to review your response before you decided to print it? Were they informed you would be publishing their full name alongside your disgusting reply? You’ve embarrassed a student in front of thousands of their peers - not because they said something offensive, but just because YOU disagreed with them.

You don’t have to like their opinion. But as editor, it’s your job to uphold the standards of a publication that claims to represent student voices - not to humiliate people who may not toe your political line.

You owe the student an apology. And you owe your readers better than this.

AN APPALLED THIRD YEAR STUDENT

Salient // Page 3

This wasn’t bold or clever. It was mean, irresponsible, and incredibly unprofessional.

What you missed over the break

Will Irvine (he/him)

Salient // Page 4

Did JD Vance kill Pope Francis?

Canada Rejects Conservatism, Australia Set to Follow

Tensions Rise as Attack in Kashmir Kills 26

Pope Francis, the Argentine outsider who led the historically oppressive Catholic Church in a new direction, has died. The 88-year-old bishop of Rome had been in poor health for over a year, with a brief spell of hospitalisation in January that led many to prepare eulogies. Francis, born Jorge Mario Bergoglio, spent his early years as a Jesuit priest in Argentina, preaching to the poor.

When he ascended to the papacy in 2013, Francis chose to forgo the luxuries of Papal life and lived a humble existence in the Vatican’s guest-house.

Francis’s legacy was mixed, with those on the traditionalist end of the Church decrying his public blessings of sex workers and transgender women, and those on the left arguing he didn’t go far enough in encouraging the Church to modernise on issues of queer rights and divorce.

The late pontiff’s last major meeting was with recent Catholic convert and least popular Vice President in recent history, JD Vance. Vance, who has argued that Catholic doctrine means that “love thy neighbour” should not be extended to migrants, was reportedly snubbed by the Pope and was instead given a lecture on tolerance by Pietro Parolin, Francis’s 2IC. Parolin is a leading candidate to replace Francis in the top job, followed closely by progressive Filipino candidate Luis Antonio Tagle. Tagle, if selected, would be the first Asian pope in modern times.

While Salient cannot confirm that Francis’s meeting with Vance was what caused him to finally give up the (holy) ghost, we have not seen any evidence to the contrary. To readers who are unsure, we simply ask to put yourself in Francis’s shoes - would you not also want to die after spending 15 minutes with JD Vance?

The election of Donald Trump has made shockwaves throughout the world, causing voters to reject national conservatism and embrace perceivedly “safer” centrist liberalism. Just a few months ago, Canada’s Liberal Party was set to suffer a historic election defeat, coming off a long Trudeau premiership that became drastically unpopular towards the end. Pierre Poliviere, the Conservative Party of Canada’s right-wing leader, was no doubt already preparing his inaugural speech.

The ongoing cold conflict between India and Pakistan over the disputed region of Kashmir and Jammu has accelerated as reports of a massacre of Hindus in the Indian-administered part of Kashmir come to light. Islamist militants linked to The Resistance Front (TRF) claimed responsibility for the massacre, which killed 26 Indian tourists, mostly Hindus, in a resort in the tourist area of Pahalgam.

The group described the attack as a response to the policies of the Indian government, which allow Indian citizens to settle in the region without constraints -- a policy which some Kashmiris and Pakistanis have described as displacement and settlercolonialism. TRF has since retracted their statement and blamed the attack on Indian intelligence operatives.

India’s government, led by the far-right Narendra Modi, has implied that Pakistani intelligence services funded the attack, and has withdrawn from transnational water cooperation agreements until Pakistan ceases to support “cross-border terrorism”. Pakistan, on the other hand, has banned its diplomats from traveling to India, and has described any further interference with water resources as “an act of war”.

While neither country has taken formal military action at the time of writing, there have been multiple skirmishes between border guards on both sides, and Kashmiri Muslims in India have been subjected to threats, violence, and harassment.

The United Nations has warned both nations to “exercise maximum restraint”, but as tensions increase, a hot conflict becomes all the more likely.

Fates have since reversed.

Canada’s new Prime Minister, class-A finance bro Mark Carney, has run a campaign centering the Great North’s independence against American threats of annexation. Responding to tariffs and talk of a ‘51st state’, Canadian voters have soundly rejected the Conservative Party at the ballot box, ushering the Liberals into a 10th year in power.

Meanwhile, across the ditch, Australian voters look set to do the same. Labor, led by Italian Chris Hipkins Clone Anthony Albanese, has reversed polling in the last few months. The party was trailing behind Voldemort Lookalike Peter Dutton, who was somehow TOO racist for Australians, a notably racist people. Dutton’s frightening demeanour and links to the global hard right have pushed his LiberalNational Party down in the polls, turning a clean sweep into a tight race that threatens to return the Italian Stallion to power once again.

Salient // Town // Kawepūrongo • News

OPINION: Wellington’s Worst Intersection that’s actually quite a cluster. Most recently, March 2025 that is, a taxi was flipped onto its roof passing through the junction. NZTA also said it had no plans of making any changes to the cursed slice of tarmac.

What NZTA doesn’t account for in its data set is the number of close calls and near misses that take place there. Posting to my Instagram story, I asked for personal experiences at the intersection.

“The only time I’ve nearly been in a crash” one person said. “I FUCKING HATE THAT INTERSECTION TOO MANY STUPID FUCKERS” said another. The most common answer I got was a simple plea for traffic lights, or even better, a roundabout.

So, what would Julie Anne Genter, our big dog powerful central

government MP for Rongotai have to say about it? “I agree the intersection is quite hazardous, and I try to avoid it if I can” said Genter, “A proper roundabout would be safer”. Julie Anne said she would be happy to advocate for funding from the NZTA after seeing some roundabout designs from “Wellington City Council experts”.

That’s all good news, but I thought the council couldn’t do anything about it. Alas, I had found myself in the revolving door of bureaucracy and decided to call it a day.

Still, I was taken aback by the strength of the response I got when I asked Wellingtonians for their thoughts. The people are hungry for change. Whoever holds the power over this road, I beg you to take action.

Fergus Goodall Smith

Salient // Page 5

Along State Highway 1, in the midst of Wellington suburbia, there lies an intersection. So terrible and so powerful is this intersection, that many have chosen to avoid it entirely. It is the cause of many accidents, close calls, and infuriated honking. This intersection lies on the junction between Wellington Road and State Highway 1. It’s probably the most integral crossroads in the city, where your path splits between the different regions of Wellington and the rest of the North Island.

“Stressed, pissed, fuck, shocker, ratchet, disgrace, dangerous, avoid”. When I asked Vic Deals to describe the intersection in one word, this was the response. There are over 80 more words members of the public submitted to my post, but to list them all would blow out my word count. To say the least, I am not alone in my hatred. For freshers, sorry, this article probably isn’t very relevant, but next year when you grow up and buy a car, you’ll see for yourself.

So why, at a fundamental section of road, does it all go wrong? No one seems to have the answers.

Reaching out to Wellington City Council, they said that the intersection fell under the jurisdiction of the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA). I asked if they could exert any pressure on the NZTA to make changes, they said no. So, on it was to the NZTA. I asked the NZTA how many crashes had occurred at the intersection. Over the last 24 years, 166 crashes have occurred there.

That might not seem like too many, but for one little stretch of road,

“The biggest privilege of my life” - Stepping Away from Meaningful Confessions

By Darcy Lawrey (he/him)

Salient // Page 6

“VuW: Meaningful Confessions” is a bit of a Vic institution. Scrolling through the page’s posts you’ll come across heartfelt confessions of love at first sight in tutorials, late-night mental health rants, and detailed descriptions of exactly what’s floating in the bowl of a Hunter building toilet. Having gained 11 thousand followers over the years, the page is an outlet for the masses’ pettiest, horniest, and most unhinged thoughts.

However, last Monday, the page’s anonymous administrator announced that they’re calling it quits. In a post on the page, they explain that their submission box has become largely full of Salient ‘critiques’ and rants about noise in the library’s blue zones. With the 2-3 hours of daily work moderating the page takes in their now busy schedule, the time has come to pass the page along or bring it to a close.

Current administrator, Anon*, had been into the Facebook page scene since 2013, and signed up to moderate Meaningful Confessions in 2020, partially motivated by the urge to delete a risky confession declaring their crush on a fellow student. They joined a diverse

group of four students who ran the account, picking out the most entertaining submissions for publication.

Gradually, however, the team fell away. “It was very vibrant, but the issue was the law student. She finished first year and suddenly everything got serious. […] everyone just sort of dropped off”, Anon explains, “I didn’t have a very good succession plan, I just kept going and going.” Six years later, and now in a public sector career out of Wellington, it’s their time to step away too.

Anon’s time running the page has had quite an impact on them.

Moderating Wellington’s hidden thoughts and feelings over the years has led them to see that underneath the horniness and anger, “there was this genuine depth to people that you didn't quite get outside.”They believe that “everyone’s a lot more emotional than [they] like to put out.”

A few submissions stick out to Anon over the years, like the guy who couldn’t put up with his girlfriend playing Taylor Swift while they had sex, and the series of back and forth confessions between two library-goers telling each other to

“shut the fuck up” in the blue zone.

But underneath the humour, Anon says that they have found running Meaningful Confessions, personally, pretty meaningful – “it's been probably the most impact I've ever had on people and potentially might ever have on people”. Not just a place for airing out their grievances, the page has connected people with help when they need it most. Anon reckons it has acted as a bit of a back door to getting support, especially when the machinery of the university can be a bit of an “unfailing monolith”.

Self-described as a “bit of a background character” who didn’t exactly throw themselves at student life, the page became a way for them to impact a lot of people in ways which individuals “never could have by themselves”.

Anon feels incredibly grateful for the experience to have had such a reach into the world. While they’re sad to be leaving, they’re planning to suss out the candidates and pass on the mantle on to a new team of students. If you think you’ve got what it takes, flick the page a message. * Name changed

Salient // Town // Kawepūrongo • News

Editor’s Palestine Update

Wellington’s mighty Phoenix are reportedly set to face Wrexham AFC, the Welsh football club owned by American actors Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool) and Rob McElhenny (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia). The team, which became the subject of the Disney+ documentary series Welcome to Wrexham, has received massive support since the actors acquired it, and has recently attained promotion to the second-highest league of English football - the EFL Championship.

Although no formal match has been announced, The Post reports that negotiations are underway for a friendly in July. When asked about the matchup, Phoenix coach Giancarlo Italiano (affectionately nicknamed “Chiefy”) said “If it happens it’d be amazing. It’d be great to play a club of their pedigree”. After an all-time high finish in 2023-24, the Phoenix suffered a massive blow this season, with new rivals Auckland F.C. finishing first in the season and beating Wellington 6-1 in their final matchup.

Could a victory over the acclaimed Wrexham be what Wellington needs to get back on its feet?

Salient // Page 7

When attention has been paid to Trump’s Gaza policy is when it becomes fruitful to mock his communication efforts, such as an AI video the President posted of an ethnically cleansed Gaza. Note that many in the Western media did not have any gripes with such a cleansing, but rather with Trump’s haphazard messaging.

The American Empire has also had very little luck in the Red Sea, where they continue to fight Ansar Allah, the Yemeni militant movement that continues to block Israeli-American shipments through the crucial strait. Over the last few months, an American FA-18 has been shot down by friendly fire, and another has fallen overboard after the USS Harry Truman “made evasive maneuvers” to avoid Ansar Allah fire.

Finally, new light has been cast on illegal Israeli settlements in the West Bank by Louis Theroux’s new documentary The Settlers. In the documentary, which aired on BBC last week, the journalist met with an Israeli settlement leader who told him that Prime Minister Netanyahu supported their efforts, but could not say so in public.

Theroux’s documentary crew also bore witness to the harassment of Palestinians by occupation forces.

Will Irvine (he/him)

Will Irvine (he/him)

When U.S. President Donald Trump was sworn in in January, he brought with him an instant ceasefire in the ongoing Gaza genocide. To many, this immediate and swift negotiation gave the lie to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s repeated Democratic Party line that Kamala Harris and Joe Biden were working “tirelessly” for a ceasefire.

As with many of Donald Trump’s actions, however, this tentative peace could only last so long.

Throughout the “ceasefire” period, Israel continued to bomb Gaza, and framed Hamas’s return of hostages in coffins as “propaganda efforts”. Then, on March 18th, the occupation forces announced an immediate return to fighting, along with a wave of airstrikes that rocked the region.

One thing the new US-Israeli partnership has been immensely successful at is keeping public attention away from the massacre they’re committing in Gaza. With Trump’s outrageous tariff plan, Western Liberal media has been given an easy way out. This doesn’t just go for CNN and Fox, which are patently corrupt, but also for New Zealand’s news, which has largely ignored the ongoing (and intensifying) slaughter of children in favour of meaningless op-eds.

Phoenix set to face Wrexham in July

Tory Whanau Drops Out of the Race

By Darcy Lawrey (he/him)

Mayor Tory Whanau has shaken up the upcoming Wellington local elections with a surprise announcement on Tuesday morning that she will not run for the mayoralty. Whanau, who had previously committed to seeking re-election, will instead run to be a councillor for the Te Whanganui-aTara Māori Ward.

A day after the official start of a major project to regenerate and pedestrianise Courtenay Place, the mayor took to Facebook to announce her decision. She says that former Labour Party leader Andrew Little announcing his candidacy has changed the game.

Before Little threw his hat into the ring the race was lacking a progressive alternative.

Whanau’s most prominent opponents had so far consisted of right-wing councillor Ray Chung, Facebooker Graham Bloxham of Wellington Live fame, and Kaffee Eis founder Karl Tiefenbacher. All

three are running on platforms largely focused on cutting council costs and keeping down rates rises.

With Little now running a Labourbacked mayoral campaign, Whanau says that she does not want a “Green vs. Labour narrative to distract from what’s important for our city.” While local elections in Wellington use Single Transferable Vote, a system widely considered to prevent vote splitting amongst politically similar candidates, Whanau told the NZ Herald that she’s decided to step aside and “give [Little] a clear runway to win the mayoralty”.

She described the relationship between Labour and the Greens as having been somewhat tense recently and believes that working with Little as a councillor could be a way to help rebuild the two parties’ relationship.

Talking to RNZ, Andrew Little called the move a bit of a surprise

saying “I thought this was going to be a contest with multiple contestants.” He acknowledged her work as mayor but believed that the city is after new leadership.

He says that he has a “breadth and depth of support” that gives him confidence he can win the mayoralty.

Ray Chung, on the other hand, said he was not surprised to see Whanau withdraw her bid after Little announced his. He reckons that she is a likely pick for Little’s deputy next year and believes that the pair have “done a deal to stitch up Wellington” which he says will lead to “absolute chaos in the streets”. No such deals or alliances have been announced by either candidate. Chung says he is “very confident” in his bid for the mayoralty.

With 5 months to go, Wellington will elect a new mayor on 11th October.

WCC decides to enforce its own rules

By Dan Moskovitz

Salient // Page 8

Wellington City Council and scandal are two peas in a pod. WCC councillors and scandal practically share the same bed. Sometimes, mere candidates can be the centre of controversy, as happened during the 2022 local elections.

Back then, both front-runner Paul Eagle and eventual winner Tory Whanau would place election hoardings up before they were allowed to, creating an uneven playing field.

However, the extent of WCC’s ability to respond was to say “Please don’t,” as they could not enforce their own election rules.

In other words, candidates could advertise before they were allowed with impunity.

It’s unlikely having hoardings up early actually swung the election to Whanau, but being able to ignore election rules is never a good look.

So for 2025, WCC has paradoxically both loosened and tightened election rules.

Hoardings on private property a sign on someone’s fence - have no time limits on when their signs can be put up. So all of Salient’s property-owning Ray Chung fans can start advertising for him as soon as possible.

Public property hoardings - in parks by the road and so forth now have strict rules governing their usage. They can be erected from the 29th of August and must be removed the day before the election.

Crucially, the council can now enforce these rules too. WCC spokesperson Richard MacLean told Salient “If candidates don’t play ball, we can confiscate and remove the signs that are causing problems.”

So this year, the playing field should hopefully be more even.

Salient // Town // Kawepūrongo • News

TON?

Q: WHAT’S THE BEST NIGHTCLUB IN WELLING

Louise: Rubix

Jacob: San Fran

Sofia: San Fran

Josie: There aren’t any

Jo: My house

VUWSA Holds Meeting with Prominent Mayoral Candidate

Salient // Page 9

Regarding public transport, Karl said he was profare concessions but against bus driver pay increases.

Tiefenbacher also said he was for Māori wards staying, but against the Pouiwi council seats which represent mana whenua, saying they were costing the council $200,000 dollars. President Ali said he couldn’t comment on whether Tiefenbacher would be a prostudent mayor, but respected Karl’s openness for coming onto the campus, even though he had some opinions most of the student base wouldn’t agree with. Liban told Salient that it was time for some more bipartisan action on the part of the council, and that they have been divided for some time now. No promises were made during their meeting.

By Darcy Lawrey (He/Him)

The VUWSA execs have held a meeting with mayoral candidate Karl Tiefenbacher. Tiefenbacher is the owner of the Kaffee Eis ice cream parlour chain and is running as a self-described centrist independent candidate. VUWSA President Liban Ali said it was Karl that reached out to connect with the Student Association. “Karl reached out to me in the first half of Trimester 1, he obviously wanted to connect and touch base with the student body”. The exec team probed Karl with a range of questions during their meeting, including Wellington’s poor job economy, public transport, and the Golden Mile project. “Karl was super against the Golden Mile, he thinks it should be cancelled altogether” Liban told Salient.

Have a story you want to share? Think something strange is happening around the university, or around Wellington? Hit the tip line! Fill out our simple form and we’ll chase your story down!

Salient // Page 10

Salient // Town // Māori

Salient // Page 11

Lilly Kelleher

Student Interest and Conflict Resolution https://www.wgtn.ac.nz/students/support/ student-interest-and-conflict-resolution/sexuallyharmful-behaviour

Providing lists of resources is essential when advocating for sexual harm awareness. However, speaking as a person who has accessed some of these support services before, simply having a list of links and phone numbers extended to you with no further explanation on what to expect can feel like being dropped off with a map in the middle of a desert. Even when you become aware of avenues to support, actually reaching out for help still requires a massive amount of courage, and the anxieties that surround it often hinder victims from reaching out until they feel it is “too late” to do so; the issue is no longer pertinent, they should “just move on”, and it would be more trouble than it's worth to go “dredging up the past”. If these types of thoughts are at all familiar to you, I want to tell you that this is not true. If you feel as though reporting what happened to you would be beneficial to your recovery, whether it be to the university, a support service, or the police, it is not too late to do so, nor is any reasoning for doing so ever not “severe” enough.

I wanted to write this article because I often feel there is something lacking in typical directives to support services, especially for students or young people who have not accessed them before. I hope that by providing a bit more information on what these services offer might make accessing them more approachable. If you know someone who might need these services, this article might help you understand better how to help them to access the right one for them. This is not an all-encompassing list due to limitations, so for more options for support, reach out to VUWSA advocacy, Mauri Ora, or another support service for advice.

Access this page on the VUW website for links to university policy on sexual harassment and assault. You can meet with the conflict resolution team to make a report of sexual harm at the university. If you are an international student, making a report will not affect your visa, and the conflict resolution team cannot share confidential information with family, or anyone, without your consent. You can choose to make a disclosure, a record of the incident which will not result in any action, or a complaint, from which action will be taken. Another person can make a complaint or disclosure to the university on your behalf with your consent, and you are able to bring another person with you for support.

Mauri Ora - Student Health and Counselling https://www.wgtn.ac.nz/student-healthcounselling/services/sexual-harm

Mauri Ora can provide care after sexual harm has occurred. For non-urgent support, call 04 463 5308 to speak to a nurse who will make an appointment for you. For immediate care, Mauri Ora recommends you contact Wāhi Mārie (0800 SAFE SPACE 0800 723 377 Mon-Fri 9am-4pm – appointments for sexual harm survivors are free) or a local clinic. Wāhi Mārie providers can perform a forensic exam if you so choose, to collect DNA for a police report.

VUWSA Advocacy Services https://www.vuwsa.org.nz/advocacy

Salient // Page 12

If you want to speak to someone on campus who is independent from the university, you may prefer to access VUWSA support as a first point of contact. VUWSA’s advocacy service can provide advice and help you understand your rights and options in relation to any concerns you might have.

They can provide information on available services and prepare you for any meetings, as well as attend them with you if you wish. They can provide information on both academic and non-academic issues, so don’t be afraid to contact them and ask how they can help. They can be contacted via email or by filling out the form on the VUWSA Advocacy web page.

Salient // Town // Ahuatanga • Features

Safe to Talk https://www.safetotalk.nz/

A sexual harm support helpline that can be accessed over phone call and text at their website or on 0800 044 334. The website provides a ‘quick exit’ button and instructions on using incognito mode in case you need to access the site secretly. The site has information tabs for Māori, Pasifika, male survivors, LGBTQI, and migrants and refugees.

Better Blokes

NZ Police:

https://betterblokes.org.nz/

https://www.police.govt.nz/advice-services/ advice-victims/victims-rape-or-sexual-assault

Support service for male survivors of sexual harm. Better Blokes facilitates one-on-one and peer support groups for men, and their services are free of charge. The groups are not led by qualified therapists, rather trained support workers. Their number is 0800 448 484.

Through the police website under ‘Advice and Services’, you can access a PDF called ‘Information for sexual assault victims’, which walks you through the process of making a complaint to the police, and receiving specialist support. You can begin the process of reporting an incident by going to a police station in person, or over the phone. If you phone in, tell the person who receives you that you would like to report a rape or sexual assault, and they will direct you on next steps.

The Road Forward https://www.theroadforward.org.nz

An all gender, ethnicity, religion, disability and LTBTQIA+ inclusive organisation that provides one-to-one, couple, and group support meetings for survivors of sexual harm. Their contact number is 0800 118 104, and anyone over the age of 18 can access their services, which are free of charge.

ACC Sensitive Claims https://www.acc.co.nz/im-injured/what-wecover/support-after-sexual-abuse-and-assault

The decision to reach out, and where to, is for nobody but you to make. It is also perfectly okay to try a support service, and decide it is not for you. Your story is yours to tell, and your participation in a support service, yours to rescind. Support services exist to service your needs, not the other way around. Making the decision to access a service should not ever make you feel trapped or locked in to escalation – you should not be urged by any service or institution to go to the police unless in specific circumstances, for example, if you or another person/s are in immediate danger.

If you are concerned about the safety or behaviour of a peer, contact a public support service, the police, or university support services for advice.

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Sexual abuse can be filed through ACC’s ‘Sensitive Claims’ process. Through sensitive claims, you can access therapy and other support services which would privately come at a high cost for free. Search ACC sensitive claims to find information on how to lodge a claim and a directory of the services they cover. I personally have been regularly seeing a psychologist for the last three or so years at no cost because of this option.

Regarding the police, in New Zealand, there is no statute of limitations for sexual assault; you can report it regardless of whether it happened a week ago, months ago, or years ago. Taking into account that many victims may not feel comfortable going to the police for a litany of reasons, I want to stress that whatever avenue feels appropriate for you is the correct path. If you feel you would benefit from legal justice, accessing police services may be right for you; you are also not obligated to report anything if you do not wish to, regardless of advice.

I never had the makings of a traditional doorman. I’m 5’11, 88kgs, and nowhere near close to intimidating. In high school I was a drama club leader and a star debater. My bench press is embarrassingly low, and I have the menacing glare of a miniature cocker spaniel.

Nevertheless, I spent five months of my life last year standing guard outside a popular Courtenay Place nightclub.

This job was the culmination of a two-year period I spent as a contract security guard. Guards, especially the younger ones, typically view bar work (“doormanship”) as the pinnacle of their work. It’s a line of work that attracts people who view themselves as capable and confident. However, with most shifts involving long periods of standing outside banks, office buildings, and events centres, most guards rarely get the chance to express their machismo. Bar work, and especially club work, is a rare exception. When you’re on the door, you’re given an inflated sense of self-importance that the modern man rarely experiences. Some guards are mature enough to deal with that. Some, as it has become increasingly clear, are not.

The first thing I remember being told was to never refer to myself as a “bouncer”. This was a title you earned. “You become a bouncer once you’ve bounced someone’s head off the pavement”, my coworker told me. “Those guys are bouncers”, he said, pointing across the street at the admittedly terrifying men protecting the customers of MishMosh. “Until you’re one of them, you’re a doorman”. While he meant well, this interaction was indicative of a wider attitude that permeates the small circle of Wellington guards. Violence, or the ability to carry out violence, is what separates the boys from the men. The illusion of peace is only useful insofar as it can be enforced by slamming someone into a wall.

Standing

Guard

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Clearly, though, the message doesn’t get through to anyone. The problem with an occupation based on the threat of violence is that anger begins to boil. For a certain type of person, the frustration with having power in theory but not in practice turns into resentment.

Eventually, something is bound to give. A couple of months ago, my friend (and notable Salient contributor) Te Huihui (Huy) was out on

the town, visiting another popular club with some cousins who were down for Homegrown. One cousin was denied entry for intoxication, and, as they were walking away, one swore at the bouncer under his breath.

What followed was horrific. A coward punch, otherwise known as a king hit, is called so because it is only ever carried out by cowards. The bouncer slammed his fist into the back of Huy’s cousin’s head, knocking him out instantly and hospitalising him. The bouncer then pushed a female member of the group who attempted to defend her friend.

It goes without saying that coward punches are particularly dangerous and horrific. Just last year, a young South African man named Luke Smith was killed on Courtenay Place by a stranger who coward-punched him for attempting to talk to a girl he was with. Luke’s death should’ve prompted a massive revaluation of the violent culture surrounding town, but things since then have remained largely unchanged.

Salient // Town // Ahuatanga • Features

It’s worth noting, that, at least in New Zealand, security license holders don’t actually have exceptional powers to carry out physical violence. Section 109(1) of the Private Security Personnel and Private Investigators Act, which licenses security guards, explicitly states that “No person, by virtue of being the holder of a licence or certificate of approval, has any power or authority that he or she would not have if this Act had not been passed.” This means that license holders, regardless of their physical size or degree of responsibility, can only utilise reasonable and proportionate force to protect themselves or someone else -- the same as any other citizen. This is the message that’s reinforced in the limited training guards receive before being sent out into the field, although it is often directly contradicted by the “on-the-job” anecdotes you’ll hear from coworkers -- many of whom are older men with antisocial personalities and a penchant for action films and mixed martial arts. Fortunately, while my workplace certainly had its share of assholes, very few of them ever made it to the level of bar work, and the coworkers I had at bars and clubs were by far the most mature and civilised. For our employer, one slip-up could cost them a major contract, so selection was of the utmost importance.

While the bouncer who assaulted Huy’s friends has since been held accountable, it was only after the victims made a direct attempt to contact

outgoing Mayor Tory Whanau. It goes without saying that this kind of violence is exercised all the time on homeless people, older people, and the mentally ill without any accountability or repercussions.

This kind of macho sensibility wasn’t just present on Courtenay Place, though. Often, older men who I worked with in office and government buildings were using the job as an outlet for their midlife crisis. One man, who proudly told me he sent significant chunks of his income to his “three girlfriends in the Philippines”, was completely obsessed with his own Jack Reacher-style self-image. He was constantly doing pushups in the break room, and spoke in military language despite never having served a day himself. Our beloved sex tourist treated his job (which, to be clear, was standing outside of the Ministry of Business, Innovation, and Employment for twelve hours a day) like a top-secret mission imparted on him by MI6.

However, for the vast majority of bartenders and their loyal guards, security is characterised by a positive, mutually respectful relationship. Sean, a former long-time Courtenay doorman, told me that “most bars ensure the safety of their [doormen], although some bars are better than others”. Meanwhile, Sarah, a new bartender and current VUW student, said that “I feel unsafe pretty frequently at work, but the situation is always managed really quickly and quite well… I definitely feel more comfortable having security around.”

Interestingly, the relationship between customers and guards differs massively on the basis of gender. “Women find bouncers approachable because bouncers are approachable towards women”, Sarah told me. ‘Women are generally less violent and less aggressive… bouncers are much more likely to give a woman the benefit of the doubt. They don’t want to hear a man’s opinion, which I fuck with”.

y b s d wor Irvine Will

Salient // Page 15

Security work isn’t all bad. In fact, it’s a pretty brilliant way for people with limited career options to secure themselves a well-paying job with regular shifts. Even in my relatively low-responsibility roles, I was still making a living wage ($26 at the time) and was able to support my studies with only 12 hours of work a week. I could listen to podcasts on longer shifts. I could work nights, which gave me time to study, but more than that, there was a sense of social prestige that came with the role. People, whether rightfully or not, place a certain degree of trust and responsibility in doormen. It’s their responsibility not to abuse it.

We may have missed the prime years of clubbing when the 2000’s music wasn’t overdone, beers were $1, and the recession was ignorable enough so we could still go out, party, and try to save some money. To all the bouncers and hospitality staff reading this, I do not condone any of these money-saving tips nor do I practice them (anymore). My party days might be behind me, but it would be selfish to not share the wisdom that I have gathered.

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2. PRE-DRINK - Everyone knows town doesn’t get good till around 11:30 anyway, so bring some friends around and split a couple 12-packs. You might be tempted to engage in some harmful drinking practices to get drunk faster, like drinking on an empty stomach or mixing liquors. Don’t. The last thing you want to do is go too hard too fast, and get rejected at the door. Pre-drink just enough so that you won’t be put off by sticky floors, sweaty backs and shitty music. Make sure you communicate amongst your group what the vibe of the night is, and how many drinks each of you plan to have so you can pick up the right amount of alcohol to pre with.

Salient // Town // Ahuatanga • Features

1. MINIS - Baby bottles of your favourite liquor can go for as low as $3-4, turning your sad little single shot vodka redbull into an actual drink. Store these in your bra, pockets, down your pants or at the bottom of your bag under a pile of random stuff. Take it in the bathroom or pour it into an innocent diet coke. If you can opt for diet soda, they may be the same price as a regular soda, but it has some weird chemical formula that allows you to absorb alcohol faster. Pro tip: if you don’t want bouncers looking too closely at your bag, chuck a couple XL condoms in. You’ll get a side-eye, but hey, no pain no gain.

3. SCORE FREE DRINKS - If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s getting free drinks. You don’t need to be a girl, or conventionally attractive to do it, you just need the confidence to start talking to people. Chat to random strangers in the smoko: introduce yourself, ask what they’re drinking. If you’re a small group and they’re a small group, suggest drinking together. There’s fun in numbers, I promise. If you’re on the dance floor, lock eyes with someone, dance together for a bit and then pull them to the bar, or suggest grabbing a drink. In all of these situations, if they say no, shrug it off and move on. It’s free rejection therapy. Be safe when accepting free drinks: always watch the drink being made and never leave your drink unattended. Avoid drinking abandoned drinks, and keep an eye on your friends.

4. DON’T HIDE FROM THE PHOTOGRAPHERS - Look, the pictures might not be pretty… but don’t hide. Put the drink down, pose, rep the bar and try to win the free drink vouchers.

Especially in Shady Lady, Eva Beva, Vinyl and Saint Diablo. You also might be used in promo photos (love you Dakota) where you can barter for free drinks in exchange for licensing your hot af face.

5. LEAVE YOUR CARD AT HOME - For the longest time I would go out to town with my ID, lipgloss and a dream. I’d let the night take me where it wanted me to go. Just make sure you can order yourself an uber home once the night is over.

6. DON’T PRIORITIZE DRINKING - Some of the best parts of going out to town are already free: getting dressed up and taking cute pictures, dancing to newly released singles, meeting new people, waving your phone around while trying to convince the DJ to play something not shit, checking out a new bar, having a cheeky makeout on the dance floor. Instead of buying yourself another drink, or drinking what’s been given to you when you’re already a bit too drunk, pass it on and make someone’s night. And if you need something to sip on, just order a soda. Sometimes the bar staff will give it to you for free (they should) and you’ve saved money, sobered up a little, and still look like you know what to do with your hands.

7. LOWER YOUR ALCOHOL TOLERANCE - If you have a higher alcohol tolerance, it’s going to take you more drinks and more money to get tipsy. Take a break from alcohol/town for a couple weeks and use your lower tolerance to spend less on drinks.

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8. PLAN AHEAD - Don’t miss happy hour and keep track of your favourite bar’s weekly deals and cheapest drinks. You might duck into Shady’s for $5 shots, dance at Ivy nursing an insanely strong tequila sunrise and end the night sipping a balanced cocktail at Dakota. Enjoy reaping the benefits of a planned night out, and avoid the hangxiety of an empty bank account.

About the Centrefold Artist:

Heya my name is Carissa, I'm an artist which focuses mainly on painting whether it be acrylic on canvas or spray paint on a wall. I enjoy the thrill of creating art, the mishes with the homies and the opportunity for self expression

and exploration! My art is an array of creatures with their own personalities, thoughts and feelings and have been a big part of my artistic journey. I hope you enjoy!

Ye Olde Horoscoppe Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Not to stir up paranoia, but do not let your bag, your jacket, your friend, your drink, ANYTHING, out of your sight in town this week.

There could be a suspicious man lurking.

This weekend could be a bit of a roller coaster. Starting out strong with good vibes, and then tears, chaos, mayhem, screams. You’ll be okay, but probably a little embarrassed by Sunday.

The idea of going out is an illusion. Shady Lady is not in the cards for you. You will party, but you will not make it out of the flat. But it’s okay.

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

You may be venturing out alone, perhaps as a single gal, but you will be successful.

Perhaps a free drink, a nice dance, a good time, maybe even a new friend. Enjoy yourself.

Whatever you hope to happen will happen. If you’re wanting to meet someone you will, if you’re wanting to get blackout drunk, you will.

Perhaps manifesting works?

Hopefully you’re asking for something nice.

Feeling adventurous? You’ll discover a whole new side of Wellington’s nightlife.

Perhaps you will venture into a new club, or you’ll try out some new dance moves.

There’s excitement and curiosity in the air.

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

You’re doing a lot right now.

You have a lot of ideas for how the night should go, and you want all of them to happen. Perhaps, just one club, then call it a night?

Did someone say Hangxiety?

It’s coming for you! Hate to say it, but the Sunday Scaries are going to be scarier than ever. My advice is drink lots of water, and be careful in Ubers.

There’s something exciting and concerning in the gossip sessions, perhaps your partying is the subject? Or perhaps someone overheard you gossiping about them.

Either way, exercise caution in the rumour mill of Wellington.

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

I’m sensing someone emerging from the shadows.

A nice, interesting person, who’s interested in you. Nice!

Don’t put all your eggs into one basket, but definitely don’t distance yourself from them. You never know.

Ooooh, I’m sensing a good time. A Sexy Time, even.

A little dance, a fun little make-out, perhaps. Maybe something more. It looks like a fun time, so bring protection to town, just in case.

Not to be oddly specific, but you’re going to run into a childhood friend in a club. If you don’t run into a friend, you’ll hear a favourite childhood song. Either way, a lovely time.

DISHWASHER TO TOP DOG Being a female bartender is hard. Now add management and Courtenay Place to the mix.

Whilst being a bartender has been one of the most enjoyable, rewarding and growth inducing jobs I've ever experienced, it has also equally been the most challenging, dangerous and egofilled industry I have ever stepped foot into.

I started how all good bartenders should: as a glassy. A 19-year-old me strutted into my trial shift with the utmost confidence. I cleared glasses, had fun — oh, and also got harrassed on my first ever night on the job. As a small, shy lady, I decided to brush it off and move on. Later, when I told my coworkers about this, they said I should always tell them or our bouncers if anything like that happens again.

This was the first time it clicked in my brain that this is normal. This is a regular occurrence.

On one hand, shout out to my first team for having a plan in place to handle these events.

However the fact that this is standard for Wellington town really jaded me.

To add context, I was not a regular town goer during my first year at uni. In fact, I probably went to town four times in my first year. So it was kind of insane for me to think I could jump into running the night life when I'd barely experienced it, right? Here’s the thing — I enjoy the nightlife, just not the drinking and party drugs aspect. Bartending is the perfect compromise.

Once I'd worked my way out of dishy, I got the rose coloured glasses of glory, being an actual bartender. Slinging drinks, partying with customers and getting tips?! This was blinding lights of bartending, where you get a massive ego high.

Once I became a bartender, I started hanging out with more bartenders, and whilst this has built some incredible life long friendships for me, it has also made me more aware of people's intentions. People can be selfish and egotistical — we all know this — but putting those people in an industry where they are praised like local celebrities, getting numbers, going home with the hottest customers, it causes rifts.

By Courtney Plaize (she/her)

Being a floor manager means your name is on the wall. You're responsible for everything that goes down in the venue.

Your goal is to make sure everyone in the building is abiding by the liquor laws.

Your eyes have to be sharp, you have to be patient, and listen to your team and customers. You have to set the vibe, be a bartender, be a host, be a bouncer, the life of the party, a therapist, a DJ (and let's not forget a puke janitor). That dimmed the lights, making me realise how hard working in town is.

We were lucky to have two strong female bar managers and one of them was our general manager. We prided ourselves on creating a safe and inclusive environment.

We wanted everyone to have fun whilst following liquor laws, which can end someone's night way quicker than expected. But it's all in the name of safety, and the law of course. Whilst I can't say that we were anywhere near perfect, we were fortunate to get many compliments on the way we ran that bar. Many people would tell us how safe they felt around us and in the atmosphere we created.

Regardless of anyone's opinion we will always have town, whether you're there as a bartender or a party goer, we’re all people experiencing this environment - so take care of each other and be safe out there.

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I can't say I’m not guilty of enjoying the celebrity persona, however there were some people who were overcome by it. They stopped caring about safety, kindness and genuine awareness. They flooded their brains with their own ego, making it difficult to even sit through a conversation with them. Again, this isn't every bartender, but these guys can make even the best environment difficult.

Past the bartender struggles of egos, insults and learning how to cut people off we reach the manager status. I got very lucky where I was to have learnt so much from my door team, my general manager and managers above me before I took the reins. And after my first successful night on the floor, I was running nearly every single weekend. I was so proud of myself for doing a good job.

Stories from a life spent behind the bar

Salient // Town // Ahuatanga • Features

FROM

too loud, too late, too alive

Ahuatanga • Features

R i o n a Chen

she her

A Manifesto for the Troublesome Women of Courtenay Place

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Women wh o love club as vapid, su bing are misogyny; perficial, reckless. Itdismissed – painted ’s a thinly th e cl assic pleasure o penly. We fear of women wh veiled is elsewhere ’re told tha o seek smallness. : in quiet dinners, in t true fulfilment disco ball? But what if you find early mornings, in makeup is What if you feel the God under a cheap your arms smudged, your heelsmost whole when y ou are around a your laugh re in your hand, and r Clubbing is ing friends? and stumb not meaningless. It heartbreakling home. It is danciis not just getting dru It’s finding s, the small humiliating out the week’s nk surviving a your people, even if ons, the quiet victori bad day, a nother semester, an only for a few song es. s. It is voice, and nd celebrating survivother breakup, anoth your heart al with you e wide open r body, your .

I’ve had m r o re v ulnerable co area of the n v e rs sl I’ve cried in eaziest of bars th ations in the smok my mascarabathrooms with lovan at most brunch ta ing You’re goin , who handed me tiing strangers who fi bles. maybe just g to be okay. I’ve fa ssues and whispere xed people, too with myself. I’ve se llen in love for a nig d part of it. C – jealousy, violenceen the worst parts ofht, and holy a lubbing, like life, ho , apathy – but that’ s lds multitu ll at once. des. It is m just essy There is sa It’s for the credness in clubs only shoes betr women who dance some will understa and the m ay them, who stay ubarefoot when their nd. in fleeting agic dissolves. For thentil the lights come o connection n s, who cha ones who find mean se joy with ing You don’t h o p a e v e to find b n palms. you never e a u ty in w superiority ill. But don’t mista it; that’s fine. May showing u . There is something ke your distance fobe take up spp, about choosing to deeply brave abou r t ace in a wo b rld that woe seen, to be loud, to The club is uld rather you shrink down to it not an escape from . nights, wh s brightest and mostlife. It is life, distilled e b n ru tal parts. A heat and la the music is right a nd so one where ughter, it feels like nd the air is thick w me a ith m k y in Su d o n f sa day micro-skirt that would best is glitter eyesh lvation – adow and make my m a other faint.

Salient // Town // Ahuatanga • Features

I go to the club to make genuine emotional connections and meaningful conversations.

Mock me if you must, but you will never truly experience Wellington nightlife with your nose in the air.

For a long time, I let the sneers sway my fondness for the club. The ones that said clubbing is juvenile, shallow, a cesspit for the desperate to congregate – the thin-lipped judgements cast on any woman who dares to move her body without shame. I found myself searching for ways to justify the act of going out, ways to distance myself with jokes and self-deprecation: “Oh, I’m not like those club girls. I hate the music.” But the truth is, I am those club girls. Unabashedly, with pride, and to my core.

Because clubbing is a spiritual experience, if you allow it to be. In the slew of sweat and intoxication, it bears the honesty and rawness of our human desire to connect, to fuck, to dance, to love. When the bass vibrates through the marrow of your bones and you lock eyes with a beautiful stranger across the room, when you scream-laugh with your closest friends under flashing lights, when you share your lip gloss with a girl you’ve never met, when you lose yourself in a song you barely know - what could be more human than that?

In the club, you find a different kind of truth.

Stripped of the polished performances of daily life, people become hungry, simple, alive. It’s not about how intelligent you sound, or the impressiveness of your career, or your academic prowess. In the club, there is a different, universally known language. It’s the tilt of a head, the brush of a hand, the primal stomp of feet hitting sticky floors. It’s longing eye contact at 3am that says I want to be near you, just for a moment.

This week is New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL) Week! NZSL is New Zealand’s third official language. It is a beautifully complex language with a rich history of community and resilience. At VUW, we are uniquely placed to celebrate it, with a large Deaf and Hard of Hearing Community, NZSL Courses, and our Deaf Studies Research Unit.

Some of our current NZSL students share what they enjoy about NZSL. * Myllo (he/they, hard of hearing) started learning NZSL in 2023, taking the NZSL101 class here at Vic. “I took it as a fun elective... I ended up falling in love with the class and I changed my minor to NZSL. I’ve made so many friends through NZSL. The classes really force you to build strong connections with others. Some of my closest friends at uni are through NZSL” * Izzy (she/they, hearing) started learning NZSL because a friend who works as an interpreter recommended it to her. “Learning another language has made me more confident in how I express myself - as a person with a speech impediment, the fact that it's a sign language definitely plays a huge role in this. It's also a fantastic way to meet people and bond. It's a very fun language to learn. I think being more aware of sign language and Deaf culture makes you a more considerate person, and it can make you helpful in the world as well” * Seamus (he/him, hearing) says, “NZSL is useful in so many situations where spoken language might not be the best fit, but it also opens the door to such a rich and expressive culture that exists amongst the NZ Deaf community… I've really enjoyed being able to talk to native signers at the Wellington Deaf Society. It's so cool to converse with people whose first language is NZSL and just watch the language flow.”

As well as being fun, NZSL is a crucial tool for many people to access the world. * Lucy P, (she/her, hard of hearing) says that learning NZSL has had a massive impact on her life. “The NZSL classes are the first time I've been on a level playing field with everyone else in the room, or perhaps a slight edge - years of lipreading and using visual cues that hearing people otherwise disregard coming to my advantage.” * Aaron (he/him) who is autistic and selectively mute also benefits from NZSL. He explains, “NZSL is a way of communicating for many people. While mainly the Deaf community use sign, there’s also other people who use NZSL.” He goes on, “For me, talking can be overwhelming and tiring. And I am unable to talk to strangers 99% of the time. My brain treats talking like it's akin to trying to touch a hot stove… I wish people knew about being selectively mute, doesn’t mean that we aren’t intentionally not talking. NZSL has had a positive impact on my life, from being able to chat to my friends in NZSL, to feeling like I can participate more in social events.”

Salient // Page 24

* Lucy M (she/her, Deaf) adds, “ NZSL has had such a huge, positive impact on my life. It’s helped me to look at the world in a different way, the Deaf way, rather than the hearing way. NZSL has also allowed me to be my full expressive self and has let me connect with the Deaf world and community.”

Whilst not all Deaf and Hard of Hearing people use, or have access to NZSL, we all value access to communication. Lucy M says “Communication means to clearly connect and relate with one another without barriers or tension. It is important for relationships and friendships, helping people understand each other on a deeper and more meaningful level. Being able to communicate also means being able to advocate for our needs and rights and express our own thoughts and views.” * Seth (he/him, hard of hearing) describes what communication means to him. He says, “communication means going both ways. I’ve found in the past people might say something to me at work and leave, then don’t understand why I didn’t complete a task the way they told me to.

Communication is talking to someone and them understanding - otherwise it’s just words.” * Maggie (she/her, hard of hearing) says, “Communication is very important to me, both verbally and creatively in my design. It's the key way to process, expand and understand information! It can come in a variety of forms too, not just verbal.” She describes the difficulties socializing without clear communication. Saying, “ socially, I can't go to bars/clubbing due to the amount of noise! Big groups are a similar situation! This is usually due to the acoustics and busyness of a place, and I have to rely on lip reading (I’m not that good at it!) to pick up on information!” * Myllo adds, “It’s not just the volume, it’s the pitch and volume regulation as well. I might be able to have a fine 1 on 1 conversation but if we are in a crowded room and there’s lots of complex noise around, I’m screwed.” * Seth says, “I wish people understood that if I can’t hear you talking normally, then I’m not going to hear you if you speak in the same tone but just repeat what you said. It helps if someone is speaking clearer and making eye contact with me.

I think people with hearing impairment naturally lip read, and that, along with body language and clear speaking really makes conversations easier.” * Lucy P emphasizes that, “hearing aids are an aid not a cure. I do not have 100% hearing with them in, so if you start yapping to me from behind, you are gonna have to repeat yourself. Save yourself the trouble and face me from the beginning.”

* Maggie describes her experiences, “primary school was rough.

Many of my teachers did not understand that open space classrooms sucked. I was constantly told I had lower success in comparison to my peers which made me have low confidence. It took till intermediate/high school for teachers to understand my needs and wants. Me and my parents were constantly fighting the school system and most of the time the school still wasn't accommodating…” * Lucy P was bullied by her teachers for her disability. She explains, “ None of them like having a 'disabled student' in their class… One year I was forced to change classes as my male teacher misinterpreted my lipreading as me making sexual advances towards him (as a prepubescent child at the time I didn't occur to me how fucked up this was). The constant battle of trying to prove my grades to every new school was exhausting - no these aren't pity marks, no I'm not deaf and dumb, yes I am actually good at maths so maybe don't put me in the bottom set where I'm bored out of my brains… General consensus from parent teacher interviews was that I would be lucky to finish school.”

Now, she describes a “stark contrast of the ease of focusing on learning new signs and concepts compared to when the lecturer stops moving around, then someone else is talking, wait where are they? Damn, I can't see their face to lipread, and now the lecturer is launching straight into an answer with no hint of the question, wait I missed that, oh what is that new concept you are introducing? I need to learn the content whilst simultaneously mentally slotting in missing words of dialogue. ”

Students appreciate NZSL not only for its usefulness, but its depth and beauty. * Myllo says, “It is not just English on the hands! It is its own language with rich culture and history.

NZSL has both English and Māori concepts and encompasses slang and terms that make sense in a New Zealand context.”

Salient // Town // Ahuatanga • Features

Without access to communication, it is difficult to learn.

* Izzy expands, “it's not ‘shorthand’ for English/ verbal language, and that it can be as complex as any other language, with intricate grammar.

Hearing people always assume there's a limit to what you can express in sign.” * Tiana (she/her, hearing) says, “I wish more people knew how easy and interesting NZSL is. It's such a natural and expressive language and has enriched my life in so many ways…There's so much to learn and understand through NZSL, about yourself, about other people, things you wouldn't even expect. It's such a gift, I am so grateful!”

So, this NZSL week, I encourage you all to learn something new. As Seamus says, “ From Uni papers, night classes, online learning, to the Sign of the Day in the NZSL dictionary - It's so easy to get started knowing one of Aotearoa's official languages.”

* Lucy M agrees, saying, “I went to a mainstream school and had no access to NZSL in class. I had spoken English to rely on (as I have Cochlear Implants) for my education. This was a challenge that I faced on a daily basis. If I had access to NZSL as part of my education, that would have made a significant difference to me.” * Although not Deaf, Aaron has also found NZSL has improved his access to education, saying, “By using NZSL I’ve been able to fully engage with my tutorials. This has positively impacted my grades, in comparison to before learning NZSL.”

Salient // Page 25

Ch Fre ip Pa e-P cke SD t m -Te oc mp ku lat p by es. co m

The 2023 New Zealand general election was one in which Aotearoa saw nothing in its future, and so voted according to its grievances. A discordant and divided opposition, with nothing in common except a lust for power, was what triumphed. The result was a coalition government nobody wanted. I keep asking myself the same thing. Where was the Labour Party? Where was the old government’s vigour and fight, when the most vulnerable people needed it to triumph?

We can look at the Labour party that year, at their bland, unenthusiastic campaign. The slashing of the policy promises they had yet to deliver on in February. The refusal to even mention the policy successes they had made, such as the Māori health authority, Water Reform, the Fair Pay agreements act, and Te Whatu Ora. The refusal to give Māori voters something to believe in, leading to safe seats in Auckland and Māori electorates slipping from the party’s fingers. We can blame Chris Hipkins for his captain’s call to vehemently rule out a capital gains tax, against polling repeatedly showing widespread support for one. We can do all of this and more, but ultimately, focusing on 2023 won’t tell us how to solve the problem of how Labour did so badly. It’s more complicated than that.

The crux of this piece is, simply, that Labour was never doomed to lose the 2023 election. Nor that Chris Hipkins - who was objectively an honest man with integrity - a catastrophic choice who led the party to the worst defeat of any government in New Zealand history. When people make these points to me, it riles me up. It amounts to saying that the left is doomed to fail nationally unless in truly exceptional circumstances.

Salient // Page 26

In the months since that day - in which I voted for the first time - I’ve regarded Labour’s loss as not Chris Hipkins’ loss. It was one from deep within the Labour Party, but overwhelmingly, it was a New Zealand failure. The failure of our political environment to create a broad church, leftward Labour Party, who could go into office and create the fundamental change that both its loyal supporters want and which most of our people badly need.

Thereafter, Labour inexplicably repeated itself, electing another uncharismatic leader who promoted unremarkable, Pākehā-centric policy. This time, Andrew Little. But less than two months before the 2017 election, he fell on his sword, giving Jacinda Ardern the leadership. But anyone who regards this as a turning point for Labour as a party is wrong. Ardern didn’t go on to win the election. Bill English won 44% of the vote and lost just 3 seats, an honestly remarkable result for a man who had led his party to its worst ever defeat just fifteen years before. The cracks in Labour’s youthful, transformational campaign soon began to show. It was fantastic communication with floundering delivery.

Looking back on the preferred prime minister polling for these three leaders, it’s overwhelming how popular John Key seems to have been.

But John Key was never a superstar politician like Ardern. It’s just that there was no viable alternative that Labour could provide.

It’s fundamentally wrong to look at that as an unavoidable fate, rather than consistently tone-deaf choices seeking to please centrist Pākehā swing voters rather than mobilise young people, Māori and Pasifika.

John Campbell reflected solemnly on how, in 2023, just 46% of voters aged 18-24 enrolled to vote in the economically deprived safe Labour seat of Māngere, compared to 85% in the wealthiest electorate, Epsom (held safely by ACT’s David Seymour). “Labour couldn’t mobilise young people in the country’s poorest electorates” nor “persuade them that they mattered”, Campbell said. A big-hearted man, Campbell’s paragraph has always stuck with me as being particularly moving.

“That’s on Labour. And it’s a terrible failure. I wrote about this, again and again”.

I’ve laid out the facts here, enough to point to a sickness within the Labour Party, a deep complacency that perpetually sabotages their chances. Therefore, it shouldn't be controversial to say Chris Hipkins is not to blame for his party's loss in 2023. It's an open secret he isn't.

Stay with me here. If this wasn't the case, why has he been allowed to stay as leader? Why do a significant chunk of the party faithful want him to stay as leader? It's because they know deep down that the longer he stays, the more sore a reminder he is to Middle New Zealand of the sensible and hard-working dad from the Hutt Valley they threw under a bus for an inexperienced and nauseatingly incompetent businessman.

The evidence is threefold. First, there was “no obvious alternative to Ardern”. There still isn’t, no matter what the Dominion may say about Kieran McAnulty. Second, the next generation “hasn’t been there a long time”, to put it mildly. It seems bizarre to say, but when David

I ask McAloon if an analogy can be drawn to Mike Moore, the tough Labour prime minister who lost in a similarly punitive landslide in 1990, only to ride back strong on the coattails of an unprecedentedly unpopular National government and nearly win in 1993. But McAloon disagrees. Moore, he says, ran a bad campaign. The former union stalwart “did himself a lot of damage” by secluding himself from the party in his office with his own arrogant staffers and hand-picked advisors. Very un-Chippy-like behaviour. And furthermore, “Moore had rivals Chippy has none”. Moore was rolled by one of them - Helen Clark - almost immediately after the 1993 election.

So who is the elusive historical figure Chris Hipkins is emulating? The answer may surprise you. “An analogy can be drawn to Keith Holyoake, not Mike Moore” says McAloon. Holyoake - National prime minister and our longest-serving postwar leader first got the top job abruptly in 1957, after popular PM Sidney Holland resigned. Holyoake then lost to Labour three months later. But Labour’s majority was thin, and its leadership under the ailing Walter Nash - who had been involved in the party for its entire history - was muddling and unpopular.

So what did Holyoake do? “He simply waited them out until they fell apart”. National won the 1960 election in a landslide, and Holyoake remained undefeated until he stepped aside in 1972.

Holyoake is the last PM to get the job mid-term, lose, and then win the next time, and it was only the staggering unpopularity of Labour’s “black budget” taxes on alcohol and cigarettes that let him do it.

With an anti-Treatyist government in the midst of a dire recession, Hipkins seems to think he can do it too. That’s why he is so invisible and risk-averse - he cannot have any attention diverted away from how badly the public believe the Government is performing. The inertia that cursed Labour in office is helping them in opposition.

The only question that remains is this - when the next election comes, will Labour have awoken significantly from their soporific final years to hold onto power? Would that require Hipkins going? “If he didn’t step down, you would have to organise the coup” says McAloon. And that’s the thing - nobody has. There hasn’t been a leadership spill like in 2008 (in which Phil Goff was coronated), nor a three-way dogfight like when David Shearer resigned in 2013.

Caucus, through narrow polling and all, has stuck

by Chippy resolutely. They seem to have looked at Luxon, as he gets weaker than a custard square under a backside, and have learnt the great lesson of Napoleon. Never interrupt your enemy while he is making a mistake.

Salient // Page 27

Jim McAloon, professor of Labour Party history here at Vic, agrees with me. I meet with him one morning in his little office, where the books - and there are many - dangle on and off the shelves like ill-fitted parapets. We sit down on these huge, nearly vertical leather armchairs, likely older than the both of us. A consensus that Hipkins is not culpable for the drubbing? “There certainly seems to be”, McAloon says. “The reason is a pragmatic assessment of reality”.

Parker resigns this month, it will be Chris Hipkins (elected in 2008) who succeeds him as the longest continuously serving member of the Labour caucus.

The only “Old Labour” MP remaining is Damien O’Connor, who has represented the West Coast intermittently since 1993. Meanwhile, Barbara Edmonds, considered Hipkins’ de facto deputy, was only elected in 2020. Labour are stuck with Hipkins, but there is no disquiet; they are keeping the faith.

Why?

Salient // Town // Ahuatanga • Features

Instead, we have a Labour Party that has been fundamentally weak and centrist since its defeat in 2008. Pākehā-dominated, it has also been chronically willing to put Māori aside for decades. Despite rising inequality and harsh austerity measures explicitly opposed by a referendum, in 2008, 2011 and 2013, Labour chose weak and invisible leaders in Phil Goff, David Shearer and David Cunliffe, three uninspiring white men from Auckland. Even if Goff grew up with nothing, he scarcely acted like it, openly coveting New Zealand First over the Greens as a coalition partner. Māori issues were once again, of course, sidelined, just as they always are by both parties - but Labour’s the one who hurts voters when they do. Although openly more leftward than his predecessors, when it came to building the broad coalition he needed to win in 2014, David Cunliffe was clumsy, inarticulate, and cocky, and ultimately just tried to please everyone. It was a burning shame to my nine-year-old self how quickly his leadership derailed into disaster.

Dónal Gunning’s next single ‘Losing Weight’ drops on the 10th May on all streaming platforms. The Irish musician (Dublin), now New Zealand-based, is churning out some great tunes in 2025. His recent single ‘Your 1’, a song dedicated to Irish vernacular, was very well received by fans across the globe.

Mind you, his second single hits even harder. It’s quite a notable change from his debut Indie/Folk EP released in May 2023.

‘Losing Weight’ is a modern rock song — an undeniably catchy chorus, guitar solos, evocative lyricism, and a chaotically controlled breakdown section. The song grips you from the get-go, with cutting guitar chords and subtle Irish idiosyncrasies. “‘Losing Weight’ is a rock song for everyone in the audience; we love playing this song live — it always gets the crowd going.”

Dónal is a born front-man, he brings an intangible Irish charm and formative presence to the stage; ‘Losing Weight’ captures this presence. The song was written originally on an acoustic guitar and presented to his bandmates months later where it evolved to the track it is today.

The song was recorded at Music Planet studios, Wellington, and produced by Peter Jamieson. The music video was filmed by Finn Zemba and is set to release later in May. Dónal Gunning and his bandmates, The Bucks, will headline a show at Underworld Tavern, Wellington on May 10th in celebration of the release alongside New Teeth with support from Jeline. Tickets here:

Salient // Page 28

POETRY Zia Ravenscroft (he/they)

mo(u)ths i don’t know if i dream anymore. i look at light stains things my insides remember and choose to veil. i swish songs of the summer around in my mouth and they stain my molars popsicle tongue doing its tired asking. laugh like moths fluttering on the lampshade after last night i carry my body like a cradled antique i’m showing symptoms of being an insect let in by the open door and amber light of all the things that come out of my mouth, names like spit or yes like sick, poems inch the slowest. most of my best ones are about recoiling things i couldn’t tell my mother. the mint fresh alcohol way i have of keeping things secret i do my fair share of pretending. water my face clean back un-hunch, legs un-fold, a little scratch mouth wash or my favourite radio station stashed back there like things in an attic a sting that swells

Salient // Town // Ahurea • Arts + Culture

Two Poems

I AM SICK OF POETRY ABOUT LOVE BEING STORED IN THE KITCHEN leaning over the sink, eating a mango until my forearms are stuck and i am left with the stone heart of a fruit then go about my day the way i would if i were satisfied. write laundry and cross it out, finish the movie i started set my tomorrow alarm, tuck the sheet under the mattress. in none of this will i say i am sour. there is no tact in admitting to rottenness even if all week you’ve been pulling it like string from your oesophagus and spooling it down the drain and not even thinking of your poor landlord complaining about the clog aches like that are ungainly. i shouldn’t think of cold shower cleaning and under my shirt, i lie: i am not red or desperate. fold dish rags, water my plants, shake out the bathmat and leave it to dry outside all this with mango juice dripping to my elbows.

Salient // Page 29

Counting Down FLASH FICTION Ryan Cleland (he/him)

I’d like to say I was pretty good at math as a kid. No Einstein, sure, but I held my own.

When I was in Year 1, I learnt that 12 × 12 was 144. Now I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew it made all the adults look impressed.

Numbers gave things meaning. There was a simplicity to the way everything fell into place. I counted a lot. I liked math — all through school it fascinated me. I loved to count and programme, figuring out the little patterns and puzzles of day-to-day life.

Then you came along. And suddenly, I began counting differently. I was counting up. One week since I met you. Two weeks since we kissed. Five dates in, I met your dad. We said 6pm, but I got there at 5. Early and awkward, I wandered the street, filling the time until the right number rolled around. The one that said it was okay to knock on your door.

Numbers everywhere reminded me of you. An anniversary: 12/08. Your favourite number: five. Mine: seven. Even the months began to tick on.

Then you went overseas. And I started to count down. Okay — a hundred and seventy days remaining. That’s twenty-four weeks. Or seventeen lots of ten. All I had to do was make it through one week. And then the next. And then the next. I won’t lie, it seemed a daunting task at first. But the beauty of numbers and patterns is that they stop for no one. They just keep ticking, bit by bit. I saw numbers often with you. A twenty-minute call here, two hours and forty-eight minutes there. Each week another number changed like leaves turning in autumn: slowly, subtly, until one day you look back and the whole landscape is different.

I’m about halfway now. Ninety-five days, my timer says. Technology is amazing — these days my phone does all the counting for me. But I still count. Each day the number moves down, and each day I look forward to you coming back. And then the pendulum will swing. And I will get to count up once more.

Salient // Page 30

Teenaa koutou e hika maa! My name is Walter, and I'm the political cartoonist here at Salient and a news contributor for 2025. Unlike many of our staff, for better or for worse I'm a lifelong Wellingtonian (born in Newtown and everything), so let me give you some of my favourite spots in our sprawling city — and some superfluous art and music, too.

Salient // Town // Ahurea • Arts + Culture

WALTER ZAMALIS (he/him)

Seaview Takeaways, Lyall Parade Take note — since the Plimmerton Fish Supply changed hands, this outlet might just have the greatest chips in Wellington. These are the fattest, juiciest wedges, with a glass-like crust, pillowy insides, and decadently crispy corners. One "scoop" is an exceptionally generous bagful, all for a mere $6.00. Seaview, you can no longer be gatekept — your secret is out!

Afro-Harping, Dorothy Ashby (1968) This album means the world to me.

I first heard of the Detroit-born composer Dorothy Ashby on the IG story of Nilüfer Yanya (one of my favourite musicians), and fell in love with this album’s standout tracks ‘Lonely Girl’ and ‘Life Has Its Trials’. A sprawling jazz harp odyssey, AfroHarping remains Ashby's best-known work.

Middle Eastern Market, Riddiford Street Coz where else can you get two kilograms of stuffed olives at 8:30 in the morning? No matter if you're searching for snacks or putting on a spread for your flatties, this affordable and convenient Levantine supermarket is for you. They also have sweets galore and cheap mastic, the greatest spice known to mankind. But ignore what it says on Google — it's certainly not open 24 hours.

Flows Café, Mercer Street

Salient // Page 31

Shamelessly repping my own community here, but if you want good Greek coffee and nibbles in Te Aro, look no further. Flows is a cosy little spot that does some of the meanest frappés and freddo cappuccinos I've ever had. You can't miss its bright orange signage or the aunties arguing over koulourakia biscuits in the foyer — check it out! Open 7:30am - 2:30pm on weekdays.

SUDOKU

(Actually functional this time, sorry)

SIGN OF THE WEEK

pātī • party

CONNIPTIONS

QUIZ

Create groups of four!

Clove

Rose

Petty

Top

Plant

Dress

Dressing

Bowl

Reef

Mercury

Fisherman

Hanger

Fork

Bow

Jacket

Leaves

Visit @Salientgram on instagram for the answers

By Ossian Lynch

1. The dead body of what kind of animal was found on Omaha beach near Auckland recently? a. Great White Shark, b. Angler Fish, c. Sea Snake.

2. What is the nickname of the New Zealand women’s national basketball team?

3. Pope Francis was the first ever pope to be born in the Southern Hemisphere and the first to be born outside Europe since the 7th century. Which country was Pope Francis from?

4. In which decade was the Homosexual Law Reform act passed decriminalising sexual relations between men in New Zealand?

5. Which English author wrote Wuthering Heights under the pen name Ellis Bell?

Salient // Page 32 1. c. Sea snake, 2. The Tall Ferns, 3. Argentina, 4. 1980s, 5. Emily Brontë.

CROSSWORD: CLUB CLASSICS 5

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Salient // Town // PUZZLES!!!

Club Classics

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DOWN Down 1. Cousin of croc and alligator 1. Cousin of croc and 2. Underworld bar alligator in Wellington 2. Underworld bar in Wellington 4. Colloquial name for "Wellington Sports Cafe" 5. Guineaname Pig spyfor movie 4. Colloquial "Wellington Sports Cafe" 6. Name for blended spices 5. Guinea Pig spy movie 10. Recently snubbed Black Fern 6. Name for blended 12. Wrestler whosespices cooking you can smell 14.

Kiwi icon's new provocative 10. Recently snubbed Black Fern album title 15. Irish rap group who stirred controversy over Palestine support whose cooking you can smell 12. Wrestler 17. Salient writer Darcy 18. "Some are born great... others have greatness [] upon them" 19. Filipino pope contender 21. Cocktail with Cointreau, women's mag 23. English journalist Louis 26. Present on a birth certificate 28. Kind of square in Moscow and in Wellington 30. Culturally appropriated Native American Welly club name 33. Energetic vodka companion 34. The kind of lady you might find next to Vinyl 39. Boxers Mike and Fury

Salient // Page 33

ACROSS Across 3. Self-proclaimed "playboi" 3.

Self-proclaimed "playboi" 7. Nautical strip club 7. Nautical strip 8. Animal challenged by club 100 men 9. Publisher of "Wordle", "Mini", "Connections" 8. Animal challenged by 100 men 11. What is it good for? (Absolutely nothing) 9. Publisher of "Wordle", "Mini", "Connections" 13. Wellington's only gay club 11. What is it good for? (Absolutely 16. Second questionably themed bar in Welly,nothing) Hawaiian-style 19. Recently resigned mayor 13. Wellington's only gay club 20. Sauerkraut of the East 22. Protagonist of Eurotrip who "doesn't know" 24. English name for Kororāreka 25. Official language whose week it is 27. "Little Women", "Barbie" director 29. Acronym for recent immigrant 31. Salient writer Wearing 32. "Motion Sickness" singer 35. Four-term US Prez 36. Purple drank that Dave Blunts "can't put down" 37. Like Kashmir, disputed Indo-Pak region 38. Country whose "brainrot" conceals Islamophobia 40. McAdams of Mean Girls

Your Guide to an Accessible Night Out Hope Cotton (she/her)

Whether you like to go out on the town, or a relaxed Sunday Brunch, Wellington has entertainment for everyone. With a vast selection of clubs, pubs, and bars, there’s always something to do on Friday night. But, when these spaces aren’t accessible, it’s harder to let loose. It’s not exactly slay when you’re having a panic attack from being over stimulated, or are sitting stuck at the bottom of a stairwell, as drunken strangers offer to carry your wheelchair up to whatever bar everyone’s talking about this week.

So for our disabled icons, here are my top recommendations for mostly accessible places to party:

Elixir, a cocktail bar on Chews Lane, is much more sensory friendly. They have low lighting, quieter music, and very accommodating bar staff. Elixir boasts a menu of unique cocktails with exotic ingredients and rich flavours. They also have their bathroom hidden behind a moving bookcase, which is pretty epic..

Whilst Elixir is not wheelchair accessible, there's only one step to the door rather than an entire flight of stairs, so it’s one of the better options for those of us with mobility impairments.

Looking for a place that’s accessible and LGBTQ+ ? Check out Ivy on Cuba Street!

They have tons of fun events - including karaoke, comedy nights, and regular drag shows. Whilst the main entrance isn’t wheelchair accessible, there is alternate access via an elevator. Ivy can be visually and audibly overstimulating, so be prepared to take some breaks and bring tools like noise cancelling headphones and sunglasses if you need them.

Puffin, a wine bar on Ghuznee Street, also has a lower sensory input. With quiet music and dimmer lighting, Puffin has a curated selection of fine wines, cocktails and charcuterie. Again, they are not fully accessible, but their two stairs will be more manageable to those with low mobility.

Searching for a wheelchair accessible rooftop bar? Try Dirty Little Secret!

This bar on Taranaki Street has a lift, drag quizzes and regular bingo nights.

In addition to their cocktails, beer and wine, they have a full food menu, complete with sharing plates, individual meals, and dessert options!

Salient // Page 34

Whilst today, searching for an accessible night out is a bit like searching for a needle in a haystack, we hope you enjoy these options.

Salient // Town // Tīwae • Columns

Two Bright Eyes This is a little love poem I wrote for a girl I used to go clubbing with.

This drop-dead gorgeous, six-foot-something, trans woman who took to me like something electrifying was between us. We used to go out to Ivy every couple weeks, sometimes with friends, other times just the two of us, dancing the night away.

Nothing serious came of that, we spent a few months in this routine making out on the dance floor before life got the better of us and we drifted apart. She was one of the first women I ever kissed, she knows how important she is to me.

Here's the poem: Two Bright Eyes Yes I'm moonstruck on this muggy night, when two bright eyes are calling, pupils broad as saucers, like in all those fairy tales.

The daughters and the witches— and the burned too— are out!

Beautiful blood lovers, reeling in the air, and mortal girls walk on, arm in arm.

Our unsevered heads lay side-by-side, like in that movie I love so much.

Do you remember all the moments that didn't make sense until you lived them?

When two bright eyes reach out and ask me for a dance, who am I to say no?

Salient // Page 35

By Alexandra Cherian (she/they)

Smith v Fonterra and the Climate Change (Restriction of Civil Proceedings) Bill

You might’ve recently seen that next in the government’s warpath to repeal Aotearoa’s (already scant) environmental protections is the ominous Climate Change (Restriction of Civil Proceedings) Bill. But what does it even mean?

The story begins with a guy named Mike Smith.

Smith, kaumātua of Ngāpuhi and Ngāti Kahu and climate activist, has been bringing a claim against Aotearoa’s seven largest greenhouse gas emitters under tort law. You might’ve seen this in the news—the case is called Smith v Fonterra. Don’t worry if you’re already lost; I’ll explain this shortly. The High Court and Court of Appeal both rejected his case at the preliminary stage, deciding it didn’t even warrant a trial. He fought this to the top, and last year the Supreme Court said they were interested in hearing Smith’s case … angering a lot of powerful people. Now, with this Bill, the government is trying to effectively reverse the Supreme Court’s decision and prevent anyone from bringing civil claims relating to climate change.

So now I’ve laid the basics down for you, let’s piece it apart more. Firstly, what even are torts? You’re probably aware that Parliament makes most of our laws in Aotearoa, but tort law has been made entirely by judges over centuries incrementally adding bits together as they decide cases (called the ‘common law’ process). It’s basically a legal structure that lets people seek compensation directly from each other for harm caused by their actions.

Smith’s claim is under the torts of public nuisance and negligence (the names are self-explanatory). He’s also arguing that if these torts don’t work for climate change, the law needs to evolve by making a new tort (something usually done hesitantly and where well justified).

In 2024 Supreme Court said that they are interested in what Smith has to say and think he should have his case heard at trial. This doesn’t mean Smith will succeed—all this has just got him through the preliminary stage. Now, Smith goes back to the High Court for his actual trial. He still has a lot of hurdles to clear, especially since our Pākehā legal system is individualistic (whereas Smith is suing as a kaitiaki) and causation-focused (nearimpossible to prove for climate change).

As I said earlier, the glimmer of hope that someone could successfully sue emitters for their technically-lawful emissions has angered a lot of powerful people. Cue Joseph Mooney of the National Party and his Bill.

The Bill is reasonably straightforward. It just bars anyone from bringing claims in civil law (including torts) which relate to climate change. Parliament can do this sort of thing, but usually only where there’s actual public interest (ie ACC replacing everyone suing each other willy-nilly for injuries). The Bill restricts some of our fundamental rights like access to justice and freedom of expression (ie protesting through the legal system). It also constitutes major overreach of Parliament and the government into the jurisdiction of the courts. Many vocal figures of the far-right have recently been attacking the Supreme Court’s legitimacy and accusing it of overstepping its boundaries as an ‘activist’ court. This Bill is a material product of that.

This means the Bill isn’t only another attack on the environment, but also on our constitutional foundations, fundamental civil rights, and the legitimacy of the courts and the law itself. Submissions aren’t open yet, but if you’re finding this all pretty harrowing send Joseph Mooney and your local MP know by an email or call to their office.

Salient // Page 36

Law and Disorder is a regular column by the VUW Climate Clinic.

Salient // Town // THANKS!!!!

Will Irvine Editor in Chief

Maya Field Sub-Editor

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Nate Murray Junior Designer

Jia Sharma Music Editor

Taipari Taua

Dan Moskovitz News Editor

Darcy Lawrey News Writer

Fergus GoodallSmith News Writer

Georgia Wearing Columns Editor

Te Ao Māori Editor

Teddy O’Neill God of Long Distance Gay Sex

Jackson McCarthy Arts + Culture Editor

Saad Aamir Contributing Writer Walter Zamalis Contributing Writer

Mauatua Fa’araReynolds Contributing Writer

ABOUT US Salient is published by, but remains editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA).

Salient is funded in part by VUWSA through the Student Services Levy.

Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

WRITE FOR US Our magazine is run by students for students. If you want to help us put out the world’s best little student magazine, send us a pitch at editor@ salient.org.nz

Salient // Page 37

COMPLAINTS: Complaints regarding the material published in Salient should be first brought to the CEO in writing (ceo@ vuwsa.org.nz). Letters to the editor can be sent to editor@salient.org. nz. If not satisfied with the response, complaints should be directed to the Media Council (info@mediacouncil. org.nz)