Salient 18 - Volume 89

ISSUE #18 10 August 2026 Volume 89 Editor Phoebe Robertson Designer & Cartoonist Jim Higgs Sub-Editor Holly Rowsell News Writers Dan Moskovitz Martha Schenk Otis Whinney Ali Cook Columnist Guy van Egmond Critic-at-large Jackson McCarthy Comic Artists Grace Elzenheimer Jack Graham Contributing Writers Tamanna Amin Zia Ravenscroft Christopher Curtis Ryan Cleland Social Media Manager Will Tickner Photographer Sophie Spencer Centrefold Artist Wilkie Larke Advertising advertising@vuwsa.org.nz Read Online salient.org.nz issuu.com/salientmagazine Follow Us @salientgram

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To contribute to Salient, you can submit poetry, creative writing, artwork, comics, puzzles, features, and other ideas. Feature articles must be pitched to the Editor before writing; send pitches to editor@salient.org.nz. Artwork should be sent to designer@salient.org.nz. Creative writing submissions are accepted through the form on our website. All other contributions, including puzzles and general ideas, should be emailed to the Editor. Submissions are welcome from first-time and returning contributors.

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Listen, last week was all about cats, and a Boy, was I in for it. little doggy told me she was feeling left out.

So here’s Ducky, my corgi.

Ducky is by far the weirdest dog I have ever met. She has routines. She must squeak her Last week, our news section focused on what toy bone every time she does a lap of the living it’s like to have cats as flatmates. Sorry to those room. She gets herself so excited and rarked who were expecting hard-hitting news—we’re up that she runs in circles barking, then takes working on it. herself out of the room to regulate. She must have a head pat before she gets out of her crate in the mornings. And, about a month ago, the vet diagnosed her with anxiety.

Ducky was experiencing something I had never seen a dog experience: a sleep disorder.

She would wake up terrified and squealing— sounding like a little pig whose tail had been stood on—and it was almost impossible to snap her out of it.

So the vets got involved, and it turns out the little girly is anxious. She now takes medicaBut anyway, this is Ducky. I got her during my tion every morning and night. final year of study, although it was a master’s degree, so I guess “postgraduate study” is a All of this is to say that I didn’t even know better description. I chose a small-breed dog to dogs could have anxiety. There are certainly keep the landlords happy—this was before pet many other things this little girly can do that bonds—and then made two mistakes: receiving I wasn’t aware dogs could do. So, if you’re the largest tax refund of my life and looking thinking about getting one, make sure you at puppies on Trade Me. have pet insurance and some extra money in the bank for surprise vet appointments.

I clicked through many, many puppies before instantly falling in love with her little face.

Anyway, in this week’s issue, Freddy Jarman explains why we’re not angry enough about polNow, I wouldn’t recommend getting a dog to itics, while Emma Bradfield has an essay about every student reading this. I’ve always been how hospitality workers are The Uninvited Guest. a dog person. I like the responsibility that comes with having one. I like having to take We’ve also got packed news and columns them for walks and I like that they’re more sections. Sorry, there are no bonus puzzles high-maintenance. I also like having something this week—you all need to lock in for your I can wrestle with. Not that you can’t play with end-of-trimester assessments. cats; it’s just not the same.

Give it a read, have a look around and enjoy When I got Ducky, her breeder described her as the upcoming break. Then we’ll be back for “full of personality.” Then, at her second-ever the final half-trimester of Salient. vet visit, where I took her to be vaccinated, the vet also called her “full of personality.”

About the centrefold artist - Wilkie Larke Hello, my name is Wilkie, but globally I’m known as Red_ Arrow22. I am a 3D animator and animation student who aims to bring fantasies to life and tell visual stories. This art piece is part of a fictional magazine cover series that I’m making. I aim to make these at least once a month. I mainly create my artworks and animations in Blender with small additional edits, such as text with the Affinity suite or Camtasia video editor.

Go to the centrefold on page 20, rip it out and put it on your wall!

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Editorial

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Letters

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Gig Guide

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Dear Victor, I had decided to put this matter to rest and stop harassing this inbox following my private resolution of the issue with the editor. However I see this week that you have decided to drag up historical issues. In light of my free bacon butty I will chose to take the high road and wish you all the best with your big words and close reading of my hot takes.

Sincerely, a not that concerned reader

News I was in a lecture when it snowed :( salient petition to abolish all lectures when? @ijnero

Last week, Winston Peters said to an MP that he should "Go back to his own country". This government is continuing to push through racist and homophobic legislation, all while people are struggling to afford to live. Despite this, student interest in politics is at a historic low. Salient's reporting is more important than ever.

So this week, I was incredibly disappointed to see that not one, not two, not three, but all four articles in Salient's news section were about cats. I love cats, but I also love journalists holding our government to account. Why is a student magazine not reporting the actual news? Especially in an election year?

Freddie

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Strictly 4 The Islands

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Know Your Stuff

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You Are Not Angry Enough

The day had started with sunshine and a fierce southerly designed for chilling students to the bone. As the day progressed and clouds rolled over the sky, we braced ourselves for the weather ahead, "feels like -1" the weather app said; with our big black coats and boots slipping on the wet ground we felt like penguins on sea ice.

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The Uninvited Guest

And then at 1:35 the miracle happened. Slowly and secretively, the straight-falling rain became interspersed with twirling white flakes, then in waves and bursts, flakes turned into white blotches that glided on the wind like parachutes to disappear on wet asphalt and car roofs.

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Album Review: What Kinda Music

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Centrefold

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Creative Writing

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Comic Corner

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Postgraduate Students' Association

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An Eye For Arovision

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Ngā Hua te Taiao

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Munch

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Critic-at-Large

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Lessons on Life, Love & Other Stuff

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Oh Yes! Oh No!

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Puzzles

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Horoscopes

WINNER

A Rainy Tuesday by Cam At 1:35 on Tuesday August 4th, a snowfall found its way to the grounds of Kelburn campus.

In a collective wave, those inside flocked to the windows to stare, open-mouthed, at the sky. Office workers moved, magnetic, away from their keyboards, to sit with still hands and tilted heads 6 floors up. Giddy cries and laughter could be heard across hallways. People at the bus stop pulled out their phones to capture the falling ephemera, their sparkling faces remaining upturned long after they returned them to their pockets.

As the clock neared 2, the flakes dissipated, along with the faces in the windows. The sun squeezed once more through the clouds as a spectacular finale, warming those who waited for buses home. We returned to our lectures, vehicles, and work stations, with the delicious feeling of luck warming our hearts.

i am the last person who would hate on mr bigfoot’s artstyle, but i must admit i do miss the variety of last year’s salient covers. so, i hereby nominate the person reading this to submit their art to salient. you know you want to. this is your sign.

Enjoy Freddy Jarman’s piece You’re Not Angry Enough in this issue of Salient? You can check out their band Bandwidth Riot at DIG THE GIG at Valhalla on the 14 of August.

that being said, i am very pleased with the centrefold and the comics this issue, especially the work of guest artist isabel doyle. call you my ex coz i want you back. with love, anna.

Submit to the Letters page by emailing editor@salient.org.nz Best letter each week will win a FREE PIZZA from the Hunter Lounge!

Salient is published by, but remains editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students Association (VUWSA). Salient is funded in part by VUWSA through the Student Services Levy. Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) and the New Zealand Media Council.

Complaints regarding the material published in Salient should first be brought to the VUWSA CEO in writing (ceo@vuwsa.org.nz). If not satisfied by the response, complaints should be directed to the Media Council (info@mediacouncil.org.nz).

Week of August 10 - August 16, 2026 Wed 12/8 Noise Control | Phat Bass Featuring Mr. Playups, Current Bias, Arekatera, DJ.RH, Stacey Lee, and Ryansouthall - 9pm @ Valhalla Wed 12/8 Eyegum Free Wednesday Their Eyes Were Flowers, Coin Laundry, and Charmort - 8pm @ San Fran Thurs 13/8 Miriam Clancy, Girl About Town Tour - Alternative, Singer SongWriter - 8pm @ Moon Sat 15/8 Rave Cave Techno, Underground Electronic, DJ 10pm @ Afters Sat 15/8 Make Nice - Feat. Seraph, Ohimesama Breaks, Buddy Nice 9pm @ Havana Bar Sat 15/8 XYZZY Album Release - With Stef Animal, Eyeliner, and Lachlan Anderson 8pm @ Space Place at Carter Observatory Sun 16/8 Sunday Jazz Featuring Fernanda Diaz Quartet 3pm @ Undercurrent

Gig guide and photography

by Sophie Spencer

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Gig Guide

It’s hard to pin down what BADTAB truly is, and that observation itself is their essence. BADTAB is capable of creating gorgeous EDM, lush jazz and funk, and intimate indie tunes, as well as heavy hitting bass driven music. The range is so versatile that they have had to coin a new term to describe themselves: “chameleon rock.”

The band has been operating as a full unit for a little under four years. In that time they have released three projects; a full length debut album—Echo Chambers Of; a collaborative EP with German musician Cellz—The Poneke Sessions; a highly anticipated sophomore record—The Year of Sincerity. This latest release is under two weeks old and full of songs that the band hopes people will connect with. What lies in the horoscope for BADTAB is uncertain, but you can expect the quality to be high, and the song writing, production, and performances to stand out compared to similar musical acts in Aotearoa.

They hope you enjoy their sophomore album. The group has more music on the way which will be dropping sooner than you expect.

Daffodil Dancefloor to Bloom Martha Schenk Content Warning: Cancer, Familial Loss.

On Friday 28th August, San Fran will come alive with Pōneke’s best dance music as more than 15 DJ’s take the decks from six o’clock all the way until three in the morning. All of them are doing it for free, with the entirety of profits set to be donated to Cancer Society New Zealand.

“It’s about people, how they interact with the world, both the physical and the non-physical societal structures. I think weirdly enough design and politics collide quite beautifully in a project like this, where it’s all about helping people navigate those structures.”

She says that the event is more than a means of raising money.

The fundraiser, dubbed Daffodil Dancefloor, is the brainchild of Ben Bonetti. Together with Gabe Stuart, Jessica Arndt, and Seini Denicaucau, as well as the support of countless other people who have donated their time to the cause, the event is a major collaborative effort. Its timing aligns with the Cancer Society’s Daffodil Day, a charity drive that aims to raise awareness and resources for specialist cancer care, research, and patient transport and accommodation.

“This all came from us feeling quite hopeless in the face of how much cancer we’ve been seeing in our lives recently. Now, we’re controlling what we can in a situation that seems entirely out of our control.”

At its heart, Daffodil Dancefloor is led by people who have been affected by cancer. Jessica Arndt, who lost her father to the disease last year, says that the event is going to be “huge, and really emotional.”

“People can expect good vibes, community, everything that makes the Wellington dance scene so good, amplified because it’s for such a good cause.”

“We’re really excited to do whatever we can in the face of cancer. What else can you fucking do except have a boogie and raise some money?”

Arndt says that the fundraiser had its inception last year, where it was “thrown together in a week,” but that this year the scale has changed.

“We’ve been preparing for this since early June, however it’s been in the talks since Daffodil Day last year.”

“It’s going to be bigger and more beautiful, we’re going to raise a shit ton more money.”

She says that the aim is to sell out, with a fundraising goal of $5000.

Arndt is managing the visual communication side of things, designing promotional material and merchandise that will be for sale on the night. As a recent graduate from Te Herenga Waka with a Bachelor of Design Innovation and a Bachelor of Arts & Political Science, she says that the skills she has learnt at university have transferred well to the fundraiser.

Seini Denicaucau, whose mother also passed from cancer in 2025, says that she hopes what will set the event apart is its high energy.

Denicaucau, who is playing the event as well as managing the physical takeaways, is currently studying a Bachelor of Communications and a Bachelor of Commerce at Te Herenga Waka. She says that it has been useful applying core university concepts to real life, and that she is grateful to have a hands-on part.

“I’m definitely putting my marketing degree to use!” she laughed.

Denicaucau says that there will be dance music for everyone: “the night starts pretty chill with some dub, some disco funk, and then as the night progresses it will get a bit harder and faster.”

She says that “putting a positive light on something that’s so sad” is a “win for everybody.”

“I think you realise how much cancer affects so many people and it’s nice to connect, knowing you have homies out there.”

Currently, one in three New Zealanders will receive a cancer diagnosis in their lifetime, with 81 diagnosed every single day.

As Arndt put it, “theres no better way to say ‘fuck you’ to cancer than getting a whole group of people together dancing, laughing, boogying–just being in each other’s company.”

Tickets and full line-up will be available via the SanFran website.

Art by Jessica Arndt

Former Taxpayers’ Union Youth Leader Seeks University Council Seat Dan Moskovitz Despite his right-wing political connections, Arie Joe’s campaign for a seat on the University Council prominently features the branding of democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani. Joe’s candidacy has also brought attention to his Save Our Clubs campaign, his admitted use of pirated analysis software, and a domain registration bearing his name for an invite-only men’s club.

“The project was generating handwriting using artificial intelligence so they could write christmas cards.

Arie Joe, a former Wellington president of the Taxpayers’ Union youth wing (Generation Screwed) is running for a vacant seat on Te Herenga Waka’s governing University Council.

Despite his right-wing political connections, Joe’s University Council campaign has attracted attention for branding resembling that used by Zohran Mamdani, the democratic socialist mayor of New York City.

Joe is best known for leading Save Our Clubs, a campaign opposed to VUWSA administering university clubs.

As part of the Save Our Clubs campaign, Joe says he pirated the i2 Analyst’s Notebook (alongside other software), which is marketed as a visual-analysis tool for crime and fraud investigations and estimated to cost over thousands of dollars per year.

Joe used this software to extract the VUW email addresses of students involved in clubs without their knowledge.

Joe started the Save Our Clubs campaign while president of Generation Screwed Wellington, the youth wing of the Taxpayers’ Union.

While it describes itself as “grass-roots,” the Taxpayers’ Union is widely considered to be a right-wing pressure group, which in recent years has spearheaded political campaigns against the Three Waters reforms and co-governance, among other issues.

In his 2014 book Dirty Politics, an expose of right-wing attack politics, investigative journalist Nicky Hager described the Taxpayers’ Union as operating “in effect, as an arm’s-length ally of the National Party,” and called it a “political tool.”

It is headed by conservative lawyer and activist Jordan Williams, who himself featured prominently in Dirty Politics.

Generation Screwed was founded by and is “overseen” by the Taxpayers’ Union and its staff.

Joe has since stepped down from Generation Screwed.

“A few weeks after I launched Save Our Clubs, I stepped down because I thought it was the right thing to do,” Joe said. “I didn't want to bring Save Our Clubs or Generation Screwed into re-dispute.”

Despite serving as Wellington president, Joe characterised his role in the organisation as limited.

“I was only there for a few months. I just ran a few events and booked rooms for them [Generation Screwed] and whatnot.

That was about it. That’s why I left, because I found it boring.”

Joe also previously contracted for Jordan Williams’ digital marketing firm The Campaign Company, but removed this from his LinkedIn profile after the start of his Council campaign.

He says this removal was because his work for The Campaign Company wasn’t relevant.

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News | Kawepūrongo

“I’ve worked on a number of AI models. Some of them aren’t public, but that one is. But I did that on a contract basis and I haven’t done any work for them since last year.”

Joe said he encountered Mamdani’s campaign material while looking for design ideas and was not previously familiar with him.

“I found out about Mandami [sic] when I was going through banners to get design ideas from,” said Joe. “It’s actually the first time I found out about Mamdani [sic]. I don’t really follow American politics.”

“It wasn’t an outright copy. A lot of the colours are quite different, but the fonts are similar.”

Mamdani and Joe’s branding both prominently feature blue and orange.

Asked if using the style of a well known socialist could confuse students as to what Joe’s views are, Joe rejected “the idea that a visual reference says anything about who I am or what I stand for.”

Joe’s name also appears in the registration details for the website of the “Pipitea Club.” The invite-only organisation describes itself as “a private dining society for male students at Victoria University of Wellington.”

Although the club’s website does not list its members or organisers, the Domain Name Commission records listed the domain as belonging to an Arie Joe of Lower Hutt.

Joe initially refused to comment on what his affiliation with the Pipitea Club is. However he later contacted Salient to say the domain registration records had been updated.

The pipitea.nz domain is now registered to an A. E. Joe based in Dorset, United Kingdom.

In his candidate statement, Joe describes himself as “visible, prepared, and willing to challenge decisions that make student life harder.”

Voting for a student representative on the University Council is open from Monday 10 August to Friday 14 August.

Student Vote Will Decide Who Joins Te Herenga Waka’s Top Governing Body Phoebe Robertson Students will elect one of their two representatives on the University Council when voting opens on Monday, 10 August.

The Council is Te Herenga Waka—Victoria University of Wellington’s highest governing body, responsible for overseeing the institution’s strategy, finances, leadership, and long-term direction.

Who Sits on Council?

The Council has 12 members.

Four are appointed by the Minister responsible for tertiary education, while eight are appointed by the Council under the University’s statutes.

Electronic voting will close at 5 p.m. on Friday, 14 August. All students are eligible to vote, and the election will use first-pastthe-post, meaning the candidate with the most votes will win.

Students will be emailed a link to vote.

The eight positions include two elected staff members and two elected student members. Three further appointments are overseen through the Council’s Nominations Panel, and the Vice-Chancellor also sits on the Council.

Although student representatives serve two-year terms, an election is held each year because the Council has two student members with overlapping terms. This provides continuity while giving students an annual opportunity to choose a new representative.

Members may bring experience in governance, finance, law, education, research, public service, business, or community leadership.

For many students, the Council’s work can be less visible than lectures, clubs, student services, or the activities of the students’ association. However, its decisions sit behind some of the University’s most significant choices, including increases to tuition fees and compulsory levies, major building projects and the appointment of the Vice-Chancellor.

What Is the University Council?

The University Council governs Te Herenga Waka. It is separate from the students’ association executive, faculty boards, and the University’s senior management team.

Student representatives account for two of the 12 seats, but hold a distinctive position. They can test how proposals that appear reasonable at a strategic level may affect students across different programmes, campuses, and communities.

What Has the Council Decided?

Council decisions can directly affect how much students pay.

At its meeting on 8 September 2025, the Council approved a 6 percent increase in domestic tuition fees for 2026—the maximum permitted under the Government’s Annual Maximum Fee Movement.

Its role is governance rather than day-to-day management. The Council sets the University’s strategic direction and monitors its performance, while the Vice-Chancellor is responsible for academic and administrative operations.

The meeting minutes record members acknowledging the impact on students during the cost-of-living crisis. Student presidents raised concerns about the tertiary funding system, but Chancellor Alan Judge said the increase was necessary to maintain financial stability and protect student-support services.

Under the Education and Training Act, the Council appoints the Vice-Chancellor and monitors their performance. It also approves the University’s investment plan, establishes policies for managing its affairs and oversees long-term strategic planning.

Both elected student members, Asifa Hanif and William BellPurchas, abstained. The increase was approved by the remaining members.

In practice, this means considering institutional priorities, financial sustainability, major risks, performance, and capital investment. Council members are expected to assess whether proposals are financially sound, consistent with the University’s strategy, and likely to support its long-term interests.

The Council also has statutory duties, including striving for excellence in education and research, acknowledging the principles of Te Tiriti o Waitangi, encouraging participation from the communities the University serves, preventing unfair discrimination, and operating in a financially responsible manner.

Some of its work can be examined publicly. The University publishes information about the Council’s role and membership, alongside public meeting agendas, papers, and minutes. Other discussions remain confidential where they involve employment, privacy, or commercially sensitive information.

At the same meeting, the Council approved a 5 percent increase in the compulsory Student Services Fee and retained the Student Hardship Fee at $32. The minutes describe the services levy as mainly funding non-academic support, particularly health and wellbeing services.

In September 2024, the Council approved an 8 percent rise in the Student Services Fee for 2025. It also increased the Student Hardship Fee from $30 to $32.

During that discussion, then-VUWSA president Marcail Parkinson raised concerns that occupancy costs were consuming 20 percent of Student Services Fee funding that could otherwise be spent on services. The minutes also record warnings that increasing occupancy costs were putting the continued delivery of those services at risk.

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Kawepūrongo | News

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In an interview with Salient, the current Student Representative William Bell-Purchas explained that he had twice been elected on a platform that centred the Living Wage. In September 2024, over 100 people attended the public Council meeting in support of Bell-Purchas’ motion that the university work towards paying staff at rates consistent with a living wage.

is a public good. Students on Council are uniquely positioned to advocate for this.”

“Te Herenga Waka is one of the biggest employers in the Wellington region. Like many other students, I feel strongly that we should pay our people enough to live with dignity. It’s also consistent with the university’s strategy, set by Council, which centres manaakitanga for staff and students,” Bell-Purchas said. He emphasised that many staff are students too, such as tutors and research assistants.

“We can represent students better if we work to remain informed about what’s affecting as many people as possible.”

Following this, most directly employed staff have been lifted above the Living Wage, and remain so in August 2026.

Contracted cleaners and catering workers have not—something Bell-Purchas wants Council to address.

Who Is Running?

Council decisions can also have financial effects extending over several years. In December 2021, it committed up to $45 million to the Living Pā redevelopment at the Kelburn campus.

The University described the project as a redevelopment of its marae precinct into a teaching and learning hub designed to meet the Living Building Challenge environmental standard.

What Does a Student Representative Do? A student Council member attends meetings, reads papers, participates in discussions, and votes on decisions in the same way as other members.

Council papers can cover budgets, strategies, risks, policies, and performance information. Members must be able to understand complex material, ask informed questions, and consider the long-term consequences of decisions.

Student representatives bring current student perspectives into those discussions. They may raise concerns about affordability, access, learning conditions, support services, campus life, and wellbeing.

They can also question whether consultation has reached the students most affected, whether evidence reflects the diversity of the student body and whether the practical consequences of a proposal have been fully considered.

However, a student representative is not simply a delegate required to vote according to the instructions of a particular organisation or group.

Like all Council members, they must act honestly, with integrity, and in the interests of the University as a whole. Their role is to bring student knowledge into collective decision-making while carrying the responsibilities of a governor.

A student member can oppose a proposal and have their vote recorded.

Bell-Purchas emphasised that the role of a student representative on Council is what that student makes it, and argued an effective representative might both exercise the levers available through Council and champion students more broadly.

“The tertiary sector is underfunded by the government. I think that University Councils should be contributing to the New Zealand-wide conversation about how we can ensure education

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News | Kawepūrongo

Bell-Purchas has also prioritised the relationship between Council and VUWSA—he and Hanif now attend VUWSA executive meetings as non-voting members.

The two-year term allows student members to develop institutional knowledge. Because their terms overlap, each incoming representative serves alongside a student member with previous Council experience.

Eight candidates are standing in the 2026 election. The following summaries are based on biographies and statements published on the University’s student election website.

Arie Joe is studying towards a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence. His priorities include affordability, access to student support, stronger clubs and communities, improved digital systems, and more transparent, evidence-led governance.

Bryce Shegog is studying towards a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science and Theatre. They cite previous student council and policy engagement experience, and prioritises inclusive representation, community-building, and long-term equity across the University’s student communities.

Destin Gallichan-Pearce is studying towards a Bachelor of Arts in History and Political Science. He cites experience as a student representative, performing and cultural arts leader, and hall executive member, and prioritises fair, accurate and inclusive representation.

Hayze Paikea Wentworth is studying Media in Society and Politics and Māori Language. He prioritises student wellbeing, challenging outdated University policies, and making institutional systems easier for current and future tauira to navigate.

Kaleb Evans-Lao is studying Law and Global Studies. He cites experience engaging with student feedback processes and University statutes, and wants to scrutinise and influence University governance to improve students’ study experience.

Pangeran Zakaria is studying Psychology. Drawing on his experience as a refugee across different countries and cultures, he prioritises advocacy on student fees, the University’s international standing, and achieving stronger outcomes from student programmes and petitions.

Shannon Hughes is studying towards an LLB and a Bachelor of Psychology in Criminal Justice and Psychological Science.

She cites experience representing tertiary students at the New Zealand Council of Trade Unions Budget lock-up and serving as a hall representative. Her priorities include affordability, paid placements, accessible mental-health support, the Living Wage, Te Tiriti, LGBTQIA+ rights, Palestine, and climate action.

Tomina Apiti is a Doctor of Philosophy candidate. She cites her experience as a wāhine Māori student, māmā, caregiver, military veteran, and not-for-profit governance leader. Her priorities include accessibility, safety, wellbeing, violence prevention, Te Tiriti o Waitangi, and responsible long-term decision-making.

Students reviewing the candidate profiles on Te Herenga Waka’s website may want to consider more than a general promise to “represent students.”

Relevant questions include whether a candidate understands the difference between governance and management, can analyse complex information, is prepared to challenge proposals constructively, and can communicate Council issues without breaching confidentiality.

The limits of the position are also important. A Council member cannot personally direct University departments, overturn management decisions or guarantee a particular outcome from the rest of Council.

Effective representation is therefore likely to depend on a candidate’s ability to use evidence, ask difficult questions, make a persuasive case, and build constructive relationships with other members.

No candidate can personally embody every student experience.

Te Herenga Waka’s student body includes undergraduate and postgraduate, domestic and international, full-time and parttime students based across several campuses. A representative’s willingness to consult and listen may therefore be as important as the experiences they already bring.

Why the Election Matters University governance can appear abstract until a difficult decision is made.

Recent votes show that the student position is not ceremonial.

Council members have been required to decide whether to increase tuition fees and compulsory levies, how to protect services during financial pressure, and whether to commit tens of millions of dollars to major capital projects.

The 2025 tuition-fee decision also shows that electing student representatives does not guarantee their preferred outcome will prevail. Hanif and Bell-Purchas abstained, but the 6 percent increase was still approved.

A student member holds one of 12 seats and cannot determine an outcome alone. Their influence depends on their ability to question proposals, argue for changes, and persuade other members.

However, formal participation on the Council provides students with a channel distinct from consultation, protest, submissions, or representation through student organisations. It places current students inside the body ultimately responsible for the University’s direction.

The role also comes with constraints. Some information cannot be made public, and student members must consider the University’s legal obligations and wider interests rather than treating every decision as a contest between students and the institution.

Those constraints do not remove the importance of student representation. They make the choice more consequential: students are selecting someone who must combine advocacy with judgement, independence and an understanding of governance.

Electronic voting opens on Monday, 10 August and closes at 5 p.m. on Friday, 14 August. The successful candidate will serve a two-year term alongside the continuing student representative, William Bell-Purchas.

For students deciding whether the election deserves their attention, the central question is not simply who can speak about student concerns, but who is best equipped to turn those concerns into informed and effective governance.

news tips piece) about s tip (or an opinion If you’ve got a new ka—or anyWa ga ren He Te d un what’s happening aro r about it. hea to nt wa dents—we thing that affects stu ent.org.nz. or email editor@sali Scan our QR code in the halls on ng know what’s goi We’re always keen to ding around fol un ng thi any ), nu (yes, including the me about what’s estions you’ve got campus, or any qu t-relevant re’s something studen happening here. If the . ow kn us let o, int look you think we should

Kawepūrongo | News

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National Wants Women to Forget

[OPINION]

Ali Cook The National Party appears to have developed a new campaign strategy just in time for the election: amnesia.

National is suddenly presenting themselves as the party prepared to fix the justice system for survivors of sexual violence. The rebrand only works, however, if we forget what the Nationalled Government has already done with the power they have.

In May 2025, the Government rewrote the pay-equity system and forced the legislation through every stage under urgency.

The changes discontinued all 33 active pay-equity claims and imposed tougher requirements on any future claims.

Now, with another election approaching, National has seemingly discovered women’s rights.

On 19 July, National announced that a re-elected National Government would introduce an affirmative definition of sexual consent. Under the proposal, consent would have to be actively communicated through words or actions. Silence would not amount to consent, and consent during a previous relationship or sexual encounter would not imply consent on another occasion.

This is a necessary reform. A positive definition would bring the criminal law closer to what people are already taught about consent: sex requires an active and voluntary agreement, not merely the absence of physical resistance or a clearly expressed “no.”

But, National is not changing the law. They are promising that they will change the law—later, after the election, provided voters give them another term.

But National has already had nearly three years to act.

In August 2023, Parliament’s Justice Committee reported on Layba Zubair’s petition calling for affirmative-consent laws.

The petition gathered more than 12,000 signatures and was supported by organisations including Wellington Rape Crisis.

Compare that hesitation with the Government’s treatment of the Summary Offences (Move-on Orders) Amendment Bill. The policy was announced in February and introduced to Parliament in May. It would allow Police to order people aged 14 or older to leave an area for up to 24 hours for conduct including begging, rough sleeping or displaying an intention to inhabit a public place. Refusing to comply could result in prosecution.

Housing and social-development officials warned that the proposal could effectively criminalise homelessness. They said it could burden people with unmanageable fines, move them away from support services, and make it even harder for them to secure housing.

Officials specifically recommended removing begging and rough sleeping (behaviour people may rely on to survive) from the legislation.

The Government proceeded anyway.

Although the Bill was not passed under urgency, the Government imposed an accelerated three-and-a-half-month select-committee process. Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith said the shorter timeframe was chosen because the Government wanted the legislation operating quickly.

That contrast makes National’s priorities difficult to ignore.

When the Government wanted to dismantle existing pay-equity claims, they passed legislation under urgency in a single day.

When they wanted Police to move homeless people out of public spaces, they accelerated the legislative process despite warnings from their own officials. But when asked to define affirmative consent—a reform placed before Parliament three years ago—National apparently needed another term to think about it.

National’s proposed changes are welcome. But women should not be expected to treat a good campaign announcement as proof of a good record.

The report identified the exact problem National is now campaigning on: the Crimes Act explains circumstances in which consent cannot be given, but never clearly defines what consent actually is.

A promise to strengthen consent law does not erase the cancellation of 33 pay-equity claims. Nor does it explain why the Government could move quickly to police rough sleeping, but not to clarify the law governing sexual consent.

The issue is therefore neither new nor hidden. Its basic justification had already been placed before Parliament before National entered government.

National does not want women to judge them by what they did when they had power. They want us to forget—and vote for what they say they might do next.

Yet National waited until July 2026, months before an election, to promise action—and even then, only if they are re-elected.

10 News | Kawepūrongo

STRICTLY 4 THE ISLANDS Weekly Pacific Politics with Otis Whinney Lakapi Sāmoa VS The World It’s hard to deny the importance of sport in the Pacific. Our sea of islands has produced countless athletic success stories, and Pacific peoples have become famous world-wide for their sporting achievements. Not only is sport a great cultural unifier, but it is also an essential pathway for many Pacific people to find a level of success that is much harder to come by otherwise. In smaller nations that depend on their relationships with larger countries, these pathways to success are incredibly valuable, which of course means they have become a political battleground across the region for decades. Sāmoa is a great example of this, especially in recent times.

Lakapi Sāmoa, the entity that controls Sāmoa’s national rugby team—Manu Sāmoa—is in crisis. For thirty years, the organisation was led by Tuila'epa Sa'ilele Malielegaoi, who was also Prime Minister from 1998. He was unseated by Fiamē Namoi Mata’afa, Sāmoa’s first woman Prime Minister, in 2021. His loss in that election was not taken lightly, with Tuila'epa refusing to immediately concede power in the nation's biggest political impasse in decades. Fiamē was eventually ousted from her party from within and replaced by the man who would go on to win the 2025 election, La'aulialemalietoa Leuatea Schmidt. Her departure came after a long back-and-forth within the party where ongoing criminal charges against La’auli caused a split in party loyalty, with La’auli managing to gain enough support to supplant her as leader.

Tuila'epa’s long stint as Prime Minister allowed him to gain significant influence in shaping modern-day Sāmoa and its relationship to world rugby, but La’auli’s time in power has seen him target certain institutions some consider biased towards Tuila'epa and his party, HRPP. This includes La’auli’s targeting of the Sāmoa Observer, a significant news organisation that has been very critical of many of La’auli’s actions while in power and during his struggles with the law. After the Observer reported that images of La’auli taken while on a medical trip to New Zealand were photoshopped to hide the status of his condition, La’auli publicly decried the publication and temporarily banned them from attending media briefings.

La’auli turned his eyes to rugby earlier this year, when a deal with Australia was being worked out with several Pacific countries for more funding for their respective rugby unions. Tuila'epa was forced to step down after La’auli threatened to establish a rival rugby union in Sāmoa, accusing Lakapi Sāmoa of poor leadership. In February, La’auli was quoted as saying “At this stage, our rugby is very impoverished ... we are in the level that Sāmoa had never been before, because of what? Because of management.”

Other figures on Lakapi Sāmoa remained on the board, and the Samoan government recently announced that they were pulling government support from the board entirely. This puts the future of rugby in Sāmoa in a precarious position-nations like Fiji have gone through similar issues and World Rugby has responded with suspensions from participating in the global game.

With the Rugby World Cup arriving just next year, Sāmoa’s rugby players and fans have no easy path forward. With government support being essential for running the entity, and the prospect of a full suspension from World Rugby on the cards, La’auli and his party appear as determined as ever to gain a stronger foothold on rugby in the nation. Reports claim that World Rugby issued an ultimatum for Sāmoa, where a solution was to be found or a full ban from the international competition would follow, but World Rugby denies ever issuing such a thing.

When speaking to RNZ Pacific, they simply stated that they are “in active and constructive dialogue with all parties and remain focused on a positive resolution.”

La’auli has since revealed his rival union, the Sāmoa Rugby Football Union (SRFU), while several board members for Lakapi Sāmoa have stepped aside as the entity is reviewed. The SRFU has the reported backing of at least 16 sub-unions, but the struggle for control over rugby in Sāmoa is far from over.

Those who will suffer the most from this stand off are those in Sāmoa who love the game. An avoidable political impasse may prevent many hard-working players from being able to participate in the highest honour in the sport. With so much riding on rugby for so many in Sāmoa, whatever happens next will be felt far and wide.

Kawepūrongo | News

11

Reduce your risks with cocaine Cocaine! “Coke” to its friends, “Nose Beers” to its mates, and “Booger Sugar” to the joker in the back of the class that thinks he’s funny.

Cocaine is a stimulant drug that increases the rate at which messages travel between the brain and the body. It is made from the leaves of the coca bush, which is native to South America.

Overamping Overamping is not the sound an amp makes when you thrash out on the stage; it's what happens to your body when you take more stimulants than you can process. Signs of overamping include: • • • • • •

A very high temperature Racing or irregular heartbeat Seizures Difficulty breathing Extreme agitation or paranoia Loss of consciousness

Cocaine has two main forms, the salt and the freebase:

If you or anyone in your crew experiences any of these symptoms, get to the medics or call an ambulance immediately

The Salt Form

Dependence and Potential Harm

Cocaine HCl is the white powder form most people are familiar with

Cocaine has a very high re-dose compulsion because it wears off quickly. It’s also one of the easier drugs to build a tolerance to. These two factors mean that people quickly need to increase their dosage to keep feeling the same level of effect. If they’re a cocaine enthusiast and doing it on the regular, things can slide into a psychological dependence. Having a break of about 3 weeks between cocaine episodes will beat the tolerance and bring most people back to baseline.

The Freebase Forms There are two types of freebase, distinguished by the way they are made.

• Freebase Cocaine uses flammable chemicals, is slightly sticky or wet, and is not recommended for smoking.

• Crack Cocaine it does not use flammable solvents, and the end product is generally crystals that could be used for smoking See cocaine dose + duration infographic

Get Your Coke Checked Yes, we say this every time, but that’s for a reason. While the cocaine supply in Aotearoa has been improving in recent years, with less adulteration, we’re still seeing samples cut with or swapped out for other substances like anaesthetics and creatine. Better safe than sorry, eh?

What to Expect so it isn’t Unexpected Snow can be a sassy mistress and affects everyone differently based on their size, weight, and health. Other things to take into consideration are tolerance, whether any other drugs have been taken (including alcohol, caffeine, or medication), or whether the cocaine has been cut with fillers or has any added psychoactives.

Cocaine is a stimulant, which means that it can make the user feel more energetic and confident. Because it has an effect on the cardiovascular system, if you have a history of heart problems in your family you might want to think twice about trying cocaine as it can lead to cardiac events.

Any chest tightness or pain in your arm happening after you’ve had your cocaine needs immediate medical attention.

Other physical effects include dehydration and teeth grinding. Some of the mental effects of cocaine include a euphoric, almost manic sense of excitement and alertness. Other mental effects include disinhibition, ego inflation, racing thoughts, and time feeling like it’s going much faster than it is in reality.

Some of the undesirable effects can include anxiety, depression, irritability, respiratory depression, headache, and tactile hallucination (where people feel things on their skin that aren’t there).

Dosage amounts are approximate and can vary based on factors such as body weight, tolerance, and individual sensitivity.

Duration can vary based on factors such as dose, individual metabolism, tolerance, and route of adminstration.

Cold Turkey If cocaine addiction occurs and a person decides to completely stop, they may experience a “crash.” This is generally followed by symptoms of paranoia, depression, anxiety, and mood swings. In extreme cases people can also experience psychosis.

Mixology Some things play well with cocaine, and some don’t.

CK, Calvin Klein (coke and ketamine) According to Erowid, this combo mixes the introspective nature of ketamine with the stimulant effects of cocaine. The thing about CK is that both ketamine and cocaine have a high re-dose compulsion, and you can accidentally snort your way through your entire bag without meaning to, which is a good way to wind up in A&E. Sorting out what you intend to take, keeping it on you, and leaving the rest at home will save your stash (and your body).

Less is more It’s super important to get your dose right if you’re taking more than one substance at a time. Start with half of your normal dose for each substance and see how you go. And yes, weigh your dose properly.

Go get milligram scales. We’ll wait.

Cocaethylene (coke and alcohol) Cocaine and alcohol combine in the body to create a completely new compound called cocaethylene. This compound has a longer half-life than cocaine and alcohol, so it stays in the body longer, and has been linked to a higher mortality risk than cocaine or alcohol by themselves.

Ahuatanga | Features

13

Freddy Jarman I heard my friend doesn’t want to vote in this election. It's fine—he goes to Massey.

Still, it astounded me. I can’t imagine looking at everything that has happened over the past three years and deciding that abstaining is the best course of action.

Living thousands of kilometres away does not give us the right to ignore mass death. To quote Serj Tankian: “We can’t afford to be neutral on a moving train.”

But perhaps you are thinking: “Well, I could be neutral on that moving train.”

But he got me thinking about why somebody might not want to vote. The political world can feel exhausting to look at, let alone invest time in. This political indifference is present in so many people I talk to now. It is the kind of mental wear and tear that comes from being bombarded with policy after policy that seem to benefit only those already in power.

In that case, I would remind you that Fees Free has been scrapped. Finance Minister Nicola Wilis justified the decision by claiming the scheme “never achieved its goal.” But the coalition scrapped it before Labour’s planned expansion—under which the first three years of tertiary study would eventually be covered—could take effect.

I remember watching the news before school during the final years of high school, seeing the latest thing the National, ACT, NZ First coalition had come up with and thinking: “Shit, man.

More man-made horrors beyond my comprehension. Whaddaya gonna do?”

For me, that decision alone is enough to justify voting against the coalition.

But indifference is not the answer—certainly not if we want to stop the political downward spiral we have been trapped in.

Indifference means no action, and no action could mean three more years of this government. I find that a miserable prospect.

If you don’t think you are going to vote or take political action this election, my response is simple. It is the same one that came to me when I heard my friend wanted to abstain:

You are not angry enough.

I don’t think many of us are.

Consider just some of what the government has done during its term. Its record should make you angry. You should look at it and ask yourself whether you can stand another thousand or so days of the same.

We are not talking about a few isolated missteps. We are talking about consistent decisions that have harmed Māori, queer communities, the environment, students, and people living in poverty. The appropriate response is not indifference. It is anger.

As of 6 May this year, we have seen major attacks on the environment through the Conservation Amendment Bill, which would allow 60 percent (5 million hectares) of conservation land to be sold. It reflects a consistent theme in the coalition’s programme. The government always talks about savings, but those savings carry costs of their own. In this case, the cost is conservation land. In others, it is education or food for people in need.

On 1 April, New Zealand First pushed to define a woman as “an adult biological female” and a man as “an adult biological male.” The bill says it exists to “uphold legal certainty,” but David Seymour’s comment that people are “sick of pretending” there are more than two genders casts doubt on whether legal certainty is the true aim.

The coalition has also repeatedly demonstrated indifference towards atrocities overseas. It has taken no meaningful stance on Palestine after two years, nine months, four weeks and six days—as of publishing. When an Iranian school was bombed and 150 schoolgirls were killed on 28 February, Christopher Luxon was asked whether New Zealand “had a view.” His response was: “We don’t.”

14 Features | Ahuatanga

The attacks on education are not limited to the tertiary sector.

Scrapping NCEA is damaging, even if NCEA was never a perfect system. The new draft history curriculum refers to cultures without written histories as “pre-historic,” placing Māori alongside people from the stone-age. It echoes the colonial belief that indigenous people should be classified alongside flora and fauna.

The draft curriculum is riddled with distinctions like this. Read it if you have the time: search for ”NZC Social Sciences Years 0-10” and download the October 2025 draft. It’s like playing Where’s Wally? except you are looking for racism instead of a fun guy in a striped shirt.

Then there are school lunches. The previous programme was replaced with poor-quality food that often had insufficient nutritional value. An Auditor-General report found that 50 percent of the lunches assessed did not meet the relevant requirements.

David Seymour attempted to discredit that audit by saying the report “breeze[ed] over the fact we saved $360 million.” While the complaints continued, Chrostopher Luxon told families struggling with food insecurity to "make a marmite sandwich and put an apple in a bag."

Further attacks on people living in poverty can be seen in the government’s recent moves against homeless people, which reflect an “out of sight, out of mind” approach to some of society’s most vulnerable.

And remember all the money the government has saved by cutting everything else? It has given tax relief to New Zealand’s landlords, of all people.

If you live in a flat, ask yourself: “Who needs to pay less—me or my landlord?”

Let your heart, and the black mold in your bedroom, find the answer.

Then there is the Treaty Principles Bill: the Government’s crowning attack on the founding document of Aotearoa.

The ACT party pushed the bill under the guise of “equality,” attempting to reinforce the idea that everyone begins on equal footing and that measures intended to uphold Te Triti place Māori above everyone else. But reality is that two centuries of colonization and discrimination have had devastating effects for Māori. Honouring Te Tiriti o Waitangi is a means of addressing that entrenched inequality.

The Waitangi Tribunal concluded that “the Bill would reduce the constitutional status of the Treaty/te Tiriti, remove its effect in law, limit Māori rights and Crown obligations, hinder Māori access to justice, impact Treaty settlements, and undermine social cohesion.”

To its members, inadequate consent laws are not urgent problems to be fixed. They are tools to be leveraged in the pursuit of another term.

Indifference is also indefensible when the cost of living has not gone down.

If we, as a generation, remain indifferent to the political world around us, National has every chance of winning a second term.

That could mean three more years of the dismantling of Te Tiriti, a rising cost of living, and atrocities overseas being ignored.

The cost of living was central to National’s 2023 campaign and remains central to its pitch this election cycle. But try finding a student who thinks life has become more affordable over the past three years.

This is no longer merely a cost-of-living crisis. It is a cost-of-existence crisis, and the ship is being steered by Luxon, who said in 2023 that his weekly groceries cost only $60.

I could complain endlessly about the small things, like Woolies quietly increasing the price of a Monster energy drink by 30 cents. But the deeper issue is that many of those in power do not understand what it is like to be poor and struggling. They do not have to count every dollar in their bank accounts to survive.

Sometimes I wonder whether a lack of understanding is the coalition’s only guiding principle.

If you don’t understand trans people, define women through legislation. If your children will never need free university, what’s the point of Fees Free? If your child always has a full stomach, why should anybody need free school lunches?

Their logic underpins many right-wing beliefs and policies. It is a logic rooted in fear of the unknown and a lack of empathy for people whose lives are harder than your own.

Your response to this should not be coldness and indifference.

You should feel fired up against this government.

It does not care about education. It does not care about our environment or history. It does not care about people living in poverty. In all likelihood, it is not looking out for you—and that, above all else, should convince you to vote.

When our Prime Minister describes himself as the “CEO” of New Zealand, you have to ask yourself whether the CEO of any company cares about you.

Now is the time to be angry.

We should be angry about everything the coalition has done.

We should be even angrier that it may be allowed to continue.

You might think your vote doesn’t matter, but your landlord thinks theirs does.

At the very least, vote to counteract the people you know are voting against your interests—and, in some cases, against your ability to exist safely as a student.

It’s overwhelmingly easy to give up and lose hope, but feeling numb to a problem does not mean the problem has disappeared.

I urge you to take whatever action you can, even if it is small. If you can only vote, vote. If you can do more, do more. If everyone does what they can, change becomes possible.

I’m writing this because it is one of the few things I can do.

Never let perfection become the enemy of good. As a mid-lecture Instagram reel once wisely told me: “If you don’t want to be a vegan because you’ll miss bacon, then just be a vegan except for bacon.”

That mentality applies to all of us. Imperfect action is still action.

If we do nothing, nothing changes.

Register to vote if you haven’t already. Find another way to participate, even if it is as small as reposting something on social media.

The people who occupy the seats of power will not be changed by one lone individual. They will be changed by communities like ours, with each of us doing what we can.

Now National is campaigning on promises it could act on immediately, but is instead withholding until after the election.

The party wants to prevent the use of good-character evidence for defendants in sexual-assault cases—but only if re-elected.

They have promised stricter consent laws, under which a person must communicate “yes” rather than consent being inferred from the absence of a “no”—but only if re-elected.

They have also said it wants to extend paid parental leave, despite vetoing Labour’s 2016 bill that would have done the same thing—but only if re-elected.

This government knows what good policy looks like. It simply refuses to enact it unless doing so benefits the government politically.

Ahuatanga | Features

15

The Uninvited Guest Emma Bradfield

P

icture this: it’s a busy Saturday evening shift at a Wellington restaurant. There’s glassware to polish, drinks to run, and orders to take—but I am standing in front of a customer who has been staring at the beer list for the better part of two minutes. Finally, he turns to me and says, ‘Do you have anything that isn’t this Wellington shit?’

People working in hospitality have been dealing with this sort of thing since the dawn of time.

The serving wenches in the taverns of old surely also had to paste smiles upon their faces and say, ‘Well actually there's a pretty clear international section on that list you have in your hand there!’

Serving is a profession that's been documented in movies like Amélie and tv shows such as 2 Broke Girls. People make TikTok series about it and post Instagram reels about it. It even crops up in paintings.

Take Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks, for example.

Hailed as a masterpiece that evokes the loneliness of late nights in a big city, it depicts three customers

16 Features | Ahuatanga

sitting in a diner and one man behind the counter.

The real sucker punch is that there isn’t even a door. All I can think about when looking at it is how badly the man behind the counter probably wants to leave. Imagine being literally, physically trapped in your hospitality job. A nightmare.

So he has to stay, bearing witness to whatever loneliness is playing out in front of him. A lot of working in hospo is just that: bearing witness. A server is the uninvited guest at every terrible first date, the intruder at the family meal, the trespasser at the work event—always passing through at inopportune moments to ask whether everything is going alright. If you’re looking for true intimacy, eat at home.

What customers don’t realise is that, as they consider the qualities of the food, weigh up the merits of the environment, and judge the service, the service is judging them right back. There is a real us-and-them divide between people who have worked in hospo and people who haven’t. Once you have, going out to eat will never be the same again.

Nothing brings people together like a common enemy, and hospo is rife with them. Every customer who walks through the doors has the potential to become the antagonist of the hour. My workplace recently had a walk-in of eighteen people.

Read that again. Walk-in. Eighteen people. The boundless optimism of a group expecting to walk into a restaurant and be promptly served almost has to be applauded. It’s the kind of behavior someone who has worked in hospitality would never even consider.

I once had a co-worker tell me that, before he worked as a server, he used to stuff his napkins inside his water glass, thinking, well I don’t want the servers to have to touch them. He reflected, ‘God, they must have hated me.’

Customers who don’t say thank you, who talk over you, who make no move to pass you their plates even though they are clearly out of reach: all of this provides ample ammunition for complaint.

What else is a girl to do during a slow shift but talk a little shit?

Of course, these complaints would be no fun at all if there were no one else to do it with.

Maybe the true loneliness of Nighthawks is that the guy behind the counter doesn’t have a co-worker to hang out with. No one to whom he can turn to and say, ‘Can these people read the room and get the hell out please?’

The hospo industry is, at its core, about connection.

There are certain losses of dignity that come with the job that are bound to bring you and your co-workers closer together: debasing yourself in the group chat to try and get someone to cover your shift, slipping over in the dishpit, taking it too far at the staff party (who among us hasn’t?).

If you can clock in and still look everyone in the eye after all that, you are almost certainly on your way to something resembling friendship.

There are downsides, obviously, to all this connection. Sometimes you have to connect with people who suck. The relationship between servers and chefs can be especially brutal. Without overgeneralising, there tends to be a reason chefs have not put themselves in a customer-facing role. Some people are simply not meant to talk to others while under pressure.

An angry chef can cast a dark shadow over any shift, especially when the things going wrong are their fault—although any self-respecting chef would never admit it.

The real key to working in hospo, and to dealing with chefs and customers alike, is putting on a performance. There is a reason the industry is beloved by those trying to make it creatively—it requires complete conviction in everything you do on shift, particularly when moving between the customer and the kitchen.

When talking to the kitchen, the customer is a fool and an idiot. When talking to the customer, the chef is a maniac and juggling too many things at once. If you are doing the job correctly and playing your cards close to your chest, nothing should ever be explicitly your fault. By the end of the night there should be no blame cast in your direction.

When closing finally rolls around, if the man behind the counter in Nighthawks is a student, he almost certainly has somewhere to be afterwards.

He’ll begin wiping down tables, putting up chairs, sweeping and mopping the floors, and will probably cut some corners in the process.

Perfectionism is for people working in jobs that require spreadsheets. No one closes faster than a fresher whose friends are already in line for Dakota.

Young people, particularly students looking to fund their ever-more-expensive degrees, form the backbone of the hospo industry. The nighttime hours of restaurant work let you pretend you’re going to make your 9 a.m. class while also giving you an excuse not to: We closed soooo late last night.

Often, if you’re lucky, your job will even provide you with a meal on shift. Where else can you get money, food, and alcohol for free, all in one place?

Ahuatanga | Features

17

ALBUM REVIEW:

What Kinda Music An otherworldly, out-there foray into a genre-bending dreamscape.

Taine Knox for The Mindstate.

Collaborative albums are extremely delicate things in the world of music. In an industry dominated by ego, brash overzealousness, and pride, collab albums are now these bull-in-a-china-shop situations in which hot-headed artists often move too wildly, fail to cohere with their collaborators, and ultimately crash and burn. The result is often messy, half-baked projects left behind in their wake.

This really is a shame, as they’re often super promising—after all, nothing sounds better than two of your favourite artists coming together to make an album—but I remain (and may always be) weary of collab albums. And it was for that very reason I was so sceptical when I was first recommended What Kinda Music, the result of a partnership of two artists I’d never listened to before.

THE BREAKDOWN - SAME ENDS Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes are both London-born indie/jazz musicians, both with their own brand of what can be described as a smooth, contemporary fusion of R&B, jazz, and indie music. Tom Misch had made waves commercially with the release of his 2018 album Geography, and it was at the launch party for that album he first met Yussef Dayes, a local drummer who was both mentored by the legendary Billy Cobham (who played for jazz pioneer Miles Davis) and also produced similar music. At this point, he only had a few (very promising) singles to his name.

It was coincidentally around this time that Misch sought a newer direction with his music and creative process, looking for one that predominantly featured more live instrumentation and group “jams” to create a more organic sound and really capture a raw, emotional feel with his music. Dayes shared a similar desire, and these “jams” predominantly form What Kinda Music.

I’ve never really been much of an indie or alternative listener, but What Kinda Music leaves me with very little to criticise. From the flowy fantasia of “Nightrider” (a personal favourite) to the glowing groove on “Last 100,”

18 Arts + Culture | Ahurea

Dayes and Misch in the studio, February 2019.

the album is chock full of ear candy. It’s a lush, artful, and at-times-out-there cohesion that highlights the best of both Dayes and Misch. Each artist allows the other to influence and amplify their respective styles without compromising one another in a miraculous feat of balance that makes for a lovely listening experience.

This, in part, can be attributed to the very healthy and positive mindset both of them expressed about working together: “When I’m working with someone, just them being present brings out something different in my sound” - Tom Misch “Tom said there was no right or wrong way… …influences from every direction… …I think it’s the beauty of the project” - Yussef Dayes Misch retains the soothing, jazzy guitar that dominated Geography (e.g. “Movie”), aiding the effort with a unique assortment of sax, synth, and string in an ethereal arrangement equal parts dreamy and determined. Of the pair, he had the more widely-established discography before What Kinda Music, and it’s clear when compared to his earlier work that Dayes adds an additional heartbeat that breathes this unique quality into his music.

It’s this same quality that makes the album so pleasant to listen to.

It would be impossible to discuss this album without talking about the quality of the production and mixing,

especially on the drums. Seriously—the whole kit, top to bottom, has some of the warmest, earthiest sounds I’ve ever listened to. It’s a real testament to the quality of Dayes’ ear for mixing.

"Nightrider (feat. Freddie Gibbs)" - 9.5/10 As stated before. An adept display of teamwork.

"Tidal Wave" - 8/10 Its build-ups and releases make for a listen enjoyable whether casually or completely engaged.

"Sensational" - 6.5/10 Shorter than the others. A little out there. Undoubtedly talented instrumental work.

"The Real" - 7/10

Billy Cobham—Dayes’ mentor—aged 76, playing at the Louisiana Museum of Modern Art, December 2020.

Photo by Zuhal Kocan.

Quality, though nothing in particular stands out.

The highlight of the album for me is probably the aforementioned Freddie-Gibbs-featuring “Nightrider,” a happily hazy stream of sound that embodies everything that makes the album special. Dayes’ drumming is outstanding, the melodic instrumentation and layered vocals suit the dreamy vibe perfectly, and Freddie Gibbs flows effortlessly through his verse, strengthening the track and not overstaying his welcome. I didn’t think a hip-hop/indie collab would work nearly as well as it has here.

Not my favourite, but a really good example of their instrumental skills.

The only drawback I can actively think of is that, although really pleasant and soothing to listen to, the album can drag and slightly overstay its welcome at points. As enjoyable as the sound Dayes and Misch have curated is, some tracks can really blend together.

Sometimes, no points in particular really stand out, and it can get a bit too out-there. It never feels intentional, just a potential drawback of its focus on organic, “jamsesh” music.

"Kyiv" - 7/10

"Lift Off (feat. Rocco Palladino)" - 6/10

"I Did It For You" - 7.5/10 Really enjoyable, a few temporary detours aside.

"Last 100" - 7.5/10 Also really enjoyable.

The highlight is Dayes’ incredibly technical drum work.

"Julie Mangos" - 7.5/10 An enthralling trip to different sonic worlds.

"Storm Before the Calm (feat. Kaidi Akinnibi)" - 8.5/10

This is, as with almost everything in music, down to Dreamy and trancelike, a strong ending to a quality personal preference, but is still something to consider. project.

That said, similar ideas have been executed much more poorly, often dragging out, but Dayes and Misch electing FINAL RATING - 8/10 for a 45-minute runtime is a move that makes it a strong balance between free-flowing and neatly-packed. A mind-bending rollercoaster experience with moments of intense build-ups that masterfully plunge THE TRACKS - OPENED UP A DOOR into pleasant lulls of trance-like relaxation. A notable step for the UK scene and definitely worth a listen.

"What Kinda Music" - 7/10 An atmospheric, theatrical introduction aided by its keen-eared mixing.

"Festival" - 6.5/10 Can grow a bit stagnant. Very ethereal.

Want more?

You can find more from The Mindstate on substack at themindstate.substack.com Also on albumoftheyear.org under the username “themindstate”

Ahurea | Arts + Culture 19

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Creative Writing

The Fear of canonization Ryan Cleland There is this idea that the best way to kill a revolutionary ideal is to idolize their leader, converting them into harmless icons that can be put upon a pedestal. How many Che Guevara t-shirts are there? How many Martin Luther King Jr Boulevards?

I think in some twisted way this happens to us as well. When we lose someone, when they disappear from our lives, our nostalgia grips us and takes hold and their memory is forever unblemished and held above. I fear this will happen to you too, now that you're gone.

Time is a skilled curator; it removes the clutter, the contradictions. Sanding down rough edges and polishing fragments of a friendship into relics. Soon I will no longer remember the things that irritated me, the arguments and pettines, the ways we failed to understand one another. Instead only the glow around them.

Reverence is often a gentler form of forgetting. I will build a statue where a person once stood. I will elevate you so high above me that I can no longer see you clearly. A fog of immaculate memory will cover all your flaws and absences. The reality of you will become an impossible idol, that asks nothing of me but worship.

Perhaps that is the final cruelty of loss: not that people pass, but that they remain only in forms that we cannot talk to. They cannot disappoint us, cannot contradict our stories about them, cannot step down from the pedestal we have built. We call it remembrance, but often it is a kind of canonization.

I saw The Sheep Detectives recently, and in it the sheep possess a strange power to forget—an unimaginable ability to cast memory aside in exchange for bliss. Is that a better fate than creating a forgery of you in my life? A Chaplain once told me that although his father died thirty years ago, he still feels him at his ear, arguing and responding with his every move. Is that better?

I don't want the sheep's life. I want you in my ear, telling me I've done wrong. I loved someone who could change, fail, surprise me, and leave. And if I turn you into a saint now, then I will have lost you twice.

Creative Writing

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24 Comic Corner | Kōmeke

t th wha

his is e, t ... dud like y l l tota l. o o unc

gs greetin te! vigilan w lo l e f ot! o f w o ad i am sh urnal t c o n gtons !

Wellin r to protec

e?!

shadowfoot? i swear i've seen on campus before... uhh.. that wasn't me. i could be anyone!

look! i'll prove to you my super-hero status with my kickass parkour skills!

s***!

ouch!

ma ft i r th me ase give e l p ! t jus hance c a

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F#**!

oww! argh!

Kōmeke | Comic Corner 25

okay class, your next assignment is worth sixty percent of your total grade for this entire course. it will Be a group presentation.

okay guys, let’s get this presentation over with.

your groups will Be assigned randomly. this is great practice for the real world, often you will have to work with randos.

how do we want to divide the work? kelBurn cats take this section? thriftman takes that one?

meow?

meow...

eow!

r

i do have a conflict avoidant personality type. so i’m happy to do all of the work.

please, just don’t let it Be them...

. . .thank you for listening to our group presentation...

i’m gonna go hit that vending machine over there...

perfect demonstration of team work. your group gets A’s across the Board!

coulda got us an A plus. c’mon Bigfoot!

Bigfoot on group work

26 Comic Corner | Kōmeke

cartooned By @jimz_artz

Victoria University of Wellington Postgraduate Students’ Association My name is Sarah Douglas, and I'm the Vice President of Connections for the Postgraduate Students' Association (PGSA) here at Te Herenga Waka.

You might be wondering: We have a Postgraduate Students' Association?! The answer is: Yes! We're a small but determined group of volunteers working to support and represent postgraduate students across the university.

Like many organisations, we've been through a rebuilding phase, but this year we're focused on bringing people together and strengthening our postgraduate community.

So why are we here in Salient? Because we believe in a student association by postgraduates, for postgraduates, while also celebrating the amazing postgraduate research happening at Te Herenga Waka.

That's why we've launched the Postgraduate Seminar Series—a monthly lunchtime event where honours and postgraduate students can share their research, hear what others are working on, and connect with fellow researchers (alongside a free lunch).

In partnership with Salient, we're also featuring our seminar presenters each month, giving readers the chance to meet the people behind the research and discover some of the fascinating work taking place across the university.

Meet the July presenters below!

Mohammad Nemati

give cells their function. In the process of my analysis, I developed a way to present the raw data as audio soundscapes—both as a creative balance to my scientific work, and to explore wider aspects of the data.

Zealand. My research examines why retirement timing differs across individuals and countries, focusing on factors such as health, earnings, household circumstances, and gender. The findings suggest that health is the strongest predictor of retirement timing, followed by earnings and household context.

Why Did You Choose Postgraduate PhD - School of Economics and Research?

Finance Many people think economics is dry or boring because it involves Seminar Title: a great deal of mathematics and Retirement Timing in the United statistics. However, I see economStates and New Zealand: Who Retires ics as a way to make life better and fairer. Research in areas such Earlier and Who Retires Later? as poverty reduction, economic inequality, and gender equality Research Summary can directly improve people’s The median age of first retire- lives. The possibility of contribment is approximately 63 in the uting to this work motivated me United States and 67 in New to pursue postgraduate research Zealand, indicating that people in economics. generally retire later in New

Samantha Ussher PhD - School of Health Seminar Title: Mum’s Squad: Exploring Friendship Assemblages in Mothers of Tweens Research Summary To address the gap in research on the maternal mental health of mothers as children grow older, my study plugged into feminist new materialism—specifically assemblage theory—to explore friendship assemblages: the bodies, objects, spaces, and technologies that participate in friendship experiences for mothers of children aged 10-12 (‘tweens’) in Wellington City. Emerging from the data were 3 themed encounters of friendship for mothers of tweens: (1) friendship, no matter the time or place; (2) friendship on the go; and (3) intentional togetherness. Themes were analysed to examine how components in friendship assemblages strengthened or disrupted mothers'

Why did I choose postgraduate research:

Sam Siljee PhD - Cell and Molecular Bioscience Seminar Title: Play with Your Data Research summary:

I chose post-graduate research to explore; for the thrill of discovering things literally no-one else knows yet, and to explore different approaches to tackle problems. What are some of the first changes that happen in lung cancer? I now have some unique insights! I want to use audio to understand my data better? Let me find a way!

I'm investigating the biology of how lung cancer starts by growing cells in a lung-like environment and surveying all the proteins— the machinery components that

social connections, and how these everyday And it was… until it was the last day of my relations shape maternal mental health. program when I stood in the hallway with my lecturer, discussing how I was still just as Why did you choose postgraduate research? confused about my future as I was on my first day back at university. Until he mentioned “Why not do a PhD?” This casual question three little letters: P. H. D. knocked the wind out of me. My lecturer blinked at me, stone-faced, waiting for an We talked for a while about my other interanswer. Words jumbled around in my mouth ests, which included maternal mental health. like marbles but all I managed to get out was, Given my undergrad and master’s degree in “Really? I could do that?” health sciences, he suggested I reach out to the School of Health to connect me with a “Sure, why not?” potential supervisor whose research aligned with my interests. Within a few months, I was And that’s all it took. Somebody to see not only a full time PhD student. Looking back, I chose a my potential, but the contributions I could make. PhD because someone showed me a possibility; they saw value in my lived experience and the Somehow, as a 45-year-old mother of two, I perspective I could bring to research. Once I had gotten used to the idea of not knowing could see that possibility too, I had to follow what I wanted to do when I ‘grew up.’ So once it. It just took one person asking "Why not do a my children were both school-age, I did what PhD?" for me to realise that the path I'd never seemed natural—started at the beginning by considered might just be the right one for me. going back to school. Since having kids, I had become interested in how children learn, so obtaining a Graduate Diploma in Education felt like a good fit.

Tīwae | Columns

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NZIFF What to watch during Welly’s upcoming NZ International Film Fest I have been attending NZIFF since I moved to Pōneke, and every year it is an absolute treat. Last year, I was an usher. This let me sit in on movies on shift and get my greedy hands on some comp tickets. The best time of my life. I saw seventeen movies (!!!) at a fraction of the cost. This year, I’m slowing my roll a little with a forecast of 10 screenings. That’s not counting this film NZIFF was kind enough to let me recommend in advance. Spoiler alert: it's really worth the watch! There's plenty more mouthwatering movies on offer at NZIFF 2026—it can be a bit overwhelming, so I’ve also noted what I’m personally planning to see. I wholeheartedly recommend grabbing yourself a Student 5-Trip Pass for 85 bucks (it’ll save you a tenner).

Go forth, and indulge in the most exciting cinema of the moment!

Holly Rowsell

Hen (2025) - $19 dir. György Pálfi, Germany & Hungary “One Egg After Another” — Malikontas, Letterboxd This was a surprising film which I enjoyed far more than I expected to. I went in expecting this to be pretty bleak—the movie follows a hen who makes it out of the meatworks and into the big bad world. In the first 15 minutes alone, this poor hen is threatened by man, then fox, then vehicle. Yes, the chicken did safely make it across the road. However, our girl’s smarter than most, and has a will that just won’t quit. This was a really heartwarming watch and by the end I was truly emotionally connected to this chook.

Our hen-oine quickly finds herself walking through a farmers market, then in the midst of a protest. She hitches a ride on a truck filled with grain, of all things—likely the first good thing that’s happened to this little chook her whole life. Eventually, a naughty dog named Titan snatches our protagonist and carries her off to what will become her home for the film's duration: an out-of-business restaurant in the Greek hillside. Here, she finds herself tangled up with some criminals who exclusively dress in really atrocious sets of tracksuits.

Despite the ongoing struggles this girl faces, the film has its share of comedic moments. At one point, there’s a dramatic musical introduction to the boss of the coop, the alpha rooster, the top cock—a fun element reminiscent of old westerns. Later, a romantic ballad is played when a new prospective rooster enters the villa. As a fun easter egg (or chicken egg?) we get a close up on Hen’s quizzical eyes as she watches a dinosaur documentary on the television—a cheeky nod to her ancestors.

Hen maintains a sense of eerie tension, created without the use of dramatic music or dialogue. The score is really lovely, ranging from upbeat jaunt to ominous trumpet. The music is appealing in its simplicity; emotion is evoked without dramatic crescendo or complex arrangement.

Even more emotion is conveyed by our hen using only editing and camera work—no directed acting, no influential music, no movie magic. Just a talented cast of eight (!!!) chickens taking turns at portraying our lead chook—Eszti, Szandi, Feri, Enci, Eti, Enikő, Nóra, and Anett.

The POV shots alone—offering viewers a moment behind Hen’s eyes—establish a deep chicken-viewer connection. We get a low-to-ground perspective of the beginnings of a hookup, various illegal activities, and children's television programming.

This film made me see eggs in a whole new light, and I never even liked them to begin with. A bacon omelette frying in the pan has never been so heartbreaking.

Despite its criminal undertones and animal mistreatment, Hen is a heartwarming story that highlights the inherent nature of life. Whether chicken or fox or dog or human, we’re all just trying to make our way. Following our girl as she seeks out the various chicken-sized gaps in the world is a real privilege, and I can’t recommend this film enough.

Hen opens with long sequences detailing the mistreatment of chickens, and this content is peppered throughout, so do be wary if you find this particularly difficult. There’s also a bit of murder… be warned.

If you enjoy the sound of Hen, you might also like Eo, a Polish & Italian film which was screened at NZIFF in 2023. It's a similar animal-centric story following a lonely donkey as he wanders his way towards survival. This is available to watch on Arovision (you knew I couldn't get through an article without bringing it back to them).

Here are the other NZIFF flicks I’ll be catching, if you feel like comparing notes: • • • •

Big Girls Don't Cry by Paloma Schneideman / New Zealand Blue Heron by Sophy Romvari / Canada & Hungary Coward by Lukas Dhont / Belgium & France & Netherlands Crocodile by Pietra Brettkelly & The Critics / New Zealand & Nigeria

28 Columns | Tīwae

• • • • • •

Everybody Digs Bill Evans by Grant Gee / Ireland Fjord by Cristian Mungiu / Norway Footrot Flats: The Dog's Tale by Murray Ball / New Zealand & Australia I Want Your Sex by Gregg Araki / USA La Gradiva by Marine Atlan / Italy & France Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma by Jane Schoenbrun / USA

Go to nziff.co.nz and get your tickets!

Feel like talking movies? Let me know: subeditor@salient.org.nz

Good news stories (and more) for the planet Kia ora, Salient reader! Welcome to our fortnightly column on the environment, sustainable living, and the small, stubborn act of hope amongst a world on fire! Check in every second week for waste-free recipes, genuinely good news, and practical ways to lend a hand—nudging a happier, healthier earth a little closer into view.

Waste-free recipe of the week Make your own Muesli bars!

It's no secret that a good muesli bar is one of the few unrivaled snacks. Whether it's for getting you through that unseemly 4 p.m. lecture, or powering you up the hill on your Sunday stroll, you just can't beat the delicious energy hit of those sweet oats, fruit. and nuts. But, oh the wrapper! Each bar with its own plastic shell; destined for landfill at best, ocean at worst. Let’s learn how to make our own—without all that hassle!

There are two core components to a good muesli bar: The bulk: This is where you put nuts (I like to dice mine into smaller pieces), your oats, and any dried fruit you may like to add. As long as you have enough oats for structural integrity, you can't go wrong. Go wild!

The glue: I find that a mixture of honey (quite a lot) and peanut butter (a little bit more) with a dollop of coconut oil, heated gently together in a small pot, will do just the trick.

• • • •

Mix your bulk and your glue (and a dash of salt for flavour) together in a bowl Transfer mixture into a baking paper lined baking tray and firmly press flat Refrigerate until hardened Slice into bars (or triangles if you’re feeling crazy!)

Finding creativity and inspiration within nature-a reflection This week we have spontaneously fallen upon a creative theme, so I am embracing it! Like waves falling upon the beach and leaves falling from deciduous trees in the autumn, we humans fall to creativity as regularly as the natural world follows its rhythms. At this point in the trimester, when your classes reach a crunch point, it can be really easy to fall into tunnel vision.

Even just in the few seconds you spend reading this, stop to see the creativity within this world. The creativity on this page.

The creativity at the University. The creativity in your courses.

Notice the first few daffodils sprouting up as spring creeps up to us. See the patterns that the rain drips in the puddles at the bus stop. I am aware these are all very general, la-de-da concepts, but sometimes it can be good to come back to the lade-da. Take a step back and reflect on where you find creativity and inspiration. How do you connect to your classes? To your surroundings? Maybe that is enough questions. Thank you for joining in on some whimsy today.

Poem taking the compost out hold in warm hands worn smooth silver slivers of onion skins and orange peels their lacy membranes thin and thread-like. wear the oversized red bands up the garden path trailing tea bag labels and silverbeet cuttings across moss and lichen covered bricks through the overgrown vege garden.

lift chin to the sky and— exhale still air still here fragrant fumes rotten apple cores and dank mushrooms soft like kawakawa leaves, riverstone, unearthed bone can you feel the soil rising rising rising to collect its offerings?

And that's it. Welcome to your new favourite snack…

Creative corner

Tīwae | Columns

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Platform 145 What: 2-for-1 Korean fried chicken & burgers.

Price: $18.00+ ($9.00 when split between two people).

When: 11:30am–9:00pm, Wednesday

A FEED FOR F*CK ALL

Good to split, glorious to keep to yourself.

guy van egmond

By the time this issue goes to print, Wellington will again be going feral for chunky sandwiches. Every pub, cafe, and ferry terminal will be scrambling to serve their own Wonky Bonky Baby Burger—a 60-centimetre tall monstrosity, made with the mince of a steer called Jeremy who was fed on a stash of Snickers Pods— topped with beetroot, banana, and a relish of wild dandelion root picked under a new moon, in an Arobake brioche bun.

No, I jest. A midwinter festival to get people out and sampling the culinary creativity we have in Pōneke is great. There’s just a slight air of overblown pomp; I don’t want to have to book a seat two weeks in advance to have a burger! Luckily, there’s still plenty of places where you can walk in and order a saucy hunk of meat between two halves of an Arobake brioche bun. I will have a Munch through the cheapest Burger Wellington offers later, but today, we’re at Platform 145.

Having just railed against burger elitism, it does feel hypocritical to present a meal deal that technically starts at $18, especially given the findings of Dan Moskovitz’s poll in Salient Issue 16 that eating out still feels unachievable for the majority of students. I hope I’m making some difference to that perception, by cataloguing the best and worst meal deals around.

Of which this is one of the former. On Wednesdays, that $18 can get you two burgers, with fries and slaw, at effectively $9 each. Take a friend, a partner, or a date who won’t mind seeing you smeared with sauce.

Platform 145’s 2-for-1 deal applies to all their spicy meals, which is most of the burgers, half of the fried chicken meals, and half of the share plates (bone-in only).

These come with fries or rice, and salad or pickled radish. If you ask very nicely, they’ll even let you swap in their vegetarian option of fried cauliflower, which is about a dollar cheaper than the chicken.

I ordered a Kiwi Spicy Meal, one of the mildest options, and a vegetarian Hush Burger, with mid-level spice. Crucially,

30 Columns | Tīwae

none of these were spicy at all, which makes this deal much more accessible.

Maybe I got lucky, maybe subbing in the cauliflower meant I dodged some chilli marinade, but I didn’t notice any burn throughout the meal. The Kiwi fried chicken was piping-hot in temperature, however. Beneath a dry double-fried exterior that shattered at first bite there was steaming and tender chicken which came away in silky pieces from the bone.

The meat itself was flavourful and juicy; the batter lightly spiced and not greasy.

This was fried chicken made with care and attention; an absolute delight to eat.

The fried cauliflower was also impressive.

Some florets were charred and the trunk was a little soft, but the majority was delectably crunchy. It wasn’t as moreish as the chicken, but held its own both in and out of the burger. You definitely get more value with this: a cauliflower steak is much bigger than any piece of chicken.

The rest of the Hush burger was tasty, although too sweet for my taste. There was a lot of caramelised brown onion and pickled red onion—as well as roast capsicum and some garlic—all in a bright orange, sweet-chilli burger sauce.

The sides were mediocre: spineless fries and sticky white rice, and a coleslaw very heavy on the garlic. But they were useful to pace out my meal with, like a palate cleanser before I dived back into another fried drummette.

You can easily get two decent dinners out of this deal and go halves with a mate, both the chicken meal and the burger were equally filling. However… you could also eat it all yourself, like I did. Not a very economical option, but Platform 145 wins for being the first restaurant in this column that I have waddled home from, a little more rotund and a lot more satisfied.

Am I talking shit or shit-talking your favourite restaurant? Or have I overlooked a place that readers really need to know about? Send me something to chew on at: guy@salient.org.nz

munch rating:

(4 stars)

Jackson McCarthy is Salient's Critic-at-Large. His first book of poetry, Portrait, is out now with Auckland University Press. want to get in touch, tip me off, or rage at me electronically? jackson@salient.org.nz

' L'Etranger (The Stranger)

most obvious change is the introduction of an intense autotune effect on the vocals of frontman and songwriter Julian Casablancas. He’d experimented New Francois Ozon movie scans a bit like a with vocal effects before, on the band’s 2011 album perfume commercial Angles, to some success—but this feels different, and to some extent less warranted, especially for a band Albert Camus’ 1942 novel L'Étranger is essentially whose ethos thus far has seemed to be less is more. impossible to adapt in another medium. Francois Ozon’s solution is to turn it into a film of surfaces, Opener “Psycho Shit” builds steadily, and Casablancas’ glossy exteriors, perfume-commercial sheen. It’s vocals sound fantastic here as they reach an elecan appropriate treatment for a novel centred on tro-hysterical pitch and the guitar figure morphs a disconnected, lonely, existentially aloof young at the bridge into a great wee solo, not overplayed. man who quite literally can’t see past surfaces; But the closer “Tyrants of the Yellow Moon,” which who refuses to allow himself re-entrance into the shares a guitar line with the opener, relies a bit fantasy of being human in all its weird social rules too heavily on the obvious Radiohead influence, and mortal paradoxes. But it sometimes means that and it's just hard to summon up any feeling as a Camus’ protagonist, Meursault, comes off as mere- listener about how it encircles its single vocal motif, ly shallow. Maybe that’s Ozon’s larger point—his insisting upon itself. Much of the album proceeds in adaptation does great work to scope out Camus’ typical Strokes fashion this way, with their almost Algerian setting and the racial discord simmering monothematic treatment of the pop song—there’s away in the background, mainly because Ozon’s one hook, and the rest is fodder. And in that respect, medium allows him to, say, casually display a sign uptempo “Lonely in the Future” and its downtempo that says “No indigenous may dine here” in the mirror “Going to Babble On” (which shares the background of a scene that is otherwise focussed same chords) are the album’s most successful songs. on something else. When he adds dialogue between While “Falling Out of Love” is probably supposed the discarded women and scenes that “empathise” to be its emotional centre, it falls a bit flat in the with the Arab characters, though, I can’t help but songwriting department: “Dancin’ in acid rain alone; feel he’s missed the point—and the sheer nasti- it’s new / But I don’t wanna do it anymore / I guess I’ll ness—of Camus’ novel, and instead has produced sing alone”...? I actually don’t mind “Liar’s Remorse,” an adaptation that reflects more the values of our whose dramatic, theatrical applied chords recall time than of Camus’. Ozon is still a strong enough something of Rufus Wainwright—and which fidirector for this film to really sing visually, and nally finds musical expression for the incessantly I’m quite a bit surprised that his reputation as a autotuned vocals. Here, Casablancas is washed out treasure of contemporary French cinema has not and washed up, angry at somebody who he wishes landed here in Aotearoa. I guess that’s because his behaved differently toward him; who doesn’t “have gift is that he disappears behind the camera—he’s love cause [they] don’t want pain.” His electric vocals not a philosophising auteur, but a steady craftsman. suit this character, whose story and whose song But then again we feel his hands warping this warble endlessly in the void—and he’s damned in narrative... Did we really need the anticipatory the song’s conclusion to “Go somewhere to get drunk flash-forward shots of Meursault's imprisonment? / A reservation, dinner for two”; in other words, to go When so much of the novel’s narrative is built nowhere. But, apart from as a small theatrical exon the steady forward lurch toward the absurd, cursion in the procession of the album, it’s hard to never quite sure when things have tipped over the say that the track—or indeed this album—warrants edge? Did we really need the sudden outburst of repeat listens. It too goes nowhere. I suppose, after interior monologue? When this is so much a film their debut, The Strokes have always been low-key of beautiful but vacant surfaces? In these senses, disappointing; the band that never was. But The New Ozon’s adaptation is merely contradictory—and one Abnormal showed such promise! And, until now on wishes that somebody was thinking a little harder Reality Awaits, had they even sounded so resigned behind the camera. to their fate before?

The Strokes: Reality Awaits

Ariana Grande: petal

Generational NYC band sounds tired

Ariana Grande goes dark

I hope it’s not crazy to say that The Strokes’ 2020 release The New Abnormal was the album that at last matched their 2001 debut, Is This It, nineteen years into their career. Where Is This It revolved around short and snappy rock numbers, fitted out with singable hooks, swinging between sincerity and irony, affecting late 70s listlessness for the early 2000s, The New Abnormal formed an almost exact counterpoint. On that album, the songs were longer, sprawling, and more sincere—it even carried some synthpop influence, and was all the more successful for it. Their latest offering, Reality Awaits, is another small pivot, another tiny readjustment. The first and

Ariana Grande has entered her blue period, and her great subject on this record is no longer love and sensuality, which she has been such a steadfast and intelligent chronicler of, but resentment, power, and sometimes downright hatred. “kiss me” opens with a Robyn-esque dramatic thrust of chords, then dissolves into an hyperpop beat over which the singer flits delicately, almost losing out amongst the instrumental: “Kiss me” is the chorus’ command indeed, but “Kiss me like you know this is goodbye” is the cutting full line. Elsewhere, Grande “Hates that [she] made you love [her]” over an 80s-lite backing (“hate that i made you love me”) and tosses off burns

like “You’ll keep getting breakup songs written about you” (“oh well”) on a track underpinned by a breakbeat that would sound fresh again if pinkpantheress and FKA Twigs hadn’t got there first. For Grande, now, every new relationship comes cut with the threat of loss, and she’s keen not to lose out when things inevitably go to shit: “We should play it safe / ‘Cause I don’t wanna burden you” (“never get over me”). “bad thing” is another fun 80s number, but one that this time lets the facade drop; and “nowhere, nobody” sings us home, Grande turning back to love in all its complexity and anxiety. petal is clever to play it all very chill, both rhetorically and stylistically speaking—perhaps too chill—but the result might just be the sleeper album of her entire catalogue.

Grande won herself a dedicated legion of fans with a winning streak of at least four strong albums that marked out her alternative RnB, pop-glossed sound—from 2016’s Dangerous Woman to 2020’s Positions. While she seems at this point in her career incapable (or perhaps, as this album proves, just unwilling) to do anything really exciting after such a feat, petal is a welcome nudge back in the right direction. Its grab bag of genre influences bring Grande some new sounds here, but they might need a few more years before they’re fully integrated into her style and raised to the level of achievement we know she’s capable of.

Arca: XXXXX Pioneering experimental composer returns to her roots Arca’s always worth a listen, but she doesn’t sound as strong here as she did on her five-album series Kick, which spanned what must’ve been for the artist a furiously industrious year, from 2020 to 2021. Where the Kick series displayed a reggae and dub influence, albeit one processed through her razor-sharp techno impulse, XXXXX feels more like a return to hardcore and rave cultures, the mastery of whose forms first made Arca her name on mixtapes such as &&&&& from 2013.

There are supermassive sonic constructions here, such as “Willow”—compressed synth lines, placed forward in the mix, are held against abstract samples panning across left and right outputs—and the later exercise in sidechaining, “Throb.” The largeness there plays off against tracks of great focus and intensity, such as brutal groovers “Syncope,” “Fxck,” “Futurality,” and “Grip”—but apart from these more outstanding numbers, there’s a sense that Arca’s a little uninspired. For me, it takes the Kick-esque “Taconeando,” whose name refers to a step in the tango and whose clipped and busy vocal line is as much a percussion instrument as anything, to get me excited for music that’s totally, idiomatically Arca’s. Same goes for “Sueno,” the screaming, blazing closer with a teasing, endlessly irresolute harmony. But for XXXXX as a whole, “exercise” is definitely the operative word—it’s Arca flexing her muscles. And while Horowitz could make even Clementi sound like Mozart, it’s just better when he’s playing Scarlatti.

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On Love Island, Body Counts and Shame Like many of you lovely readers I have recently been watching Love Island UK. No spoilers, but all the islanders were asked about their body counts as part of a challenge recently. Their answers typically ranged from around 5 to 12 (with some significantly higher). As one does, I reflected on my own body count (9) and felt a weird bit of shame surrounding it. I feel as though the people on Love Island are stereotypically those with higher body counts. It forced me to question, is 9 quite high?

Considering I am not dating anyone right now, it seems only inevitable that my body count will hit the double digits soon… which is a terrifying thought.

Before I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, I had a body count of 3. It was a number I had absolutely no shame in sharing. I felt it made sense given my situation.

However, over the past year my body count has risen by 6 more people and is now a number I feel less proud of. There are probably a couple people who, if I had the chance to do it all over, I would not do them all over again (if you catch my drift). There was nothing wrong with the sex, it just didn’t leave me feeling fulfilled and didn’t add much to my life. In this weird way, it feels as though I am self-imposing this limit upon myself with how many people I am allowed to sleep with in my life. Therefore, by sleeping with those two people who did not feel “worth it,” I feel like I have wasted two of my available slots. If I didn’t sleep with them, then my number would be 7 and that feels more socially acceptable than 9.

I know 9 is not even a high number in the grand scheme of things. For someone in their early-mid 20s, 9 is a very normal number that no one would really bat an eye at.

My fear is probably more rooted in where it goes from here. How high will my body count rise and at what point will people start to care? It’s like that famous saying, “you got to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.”

Except this time, it’s about sex and sleeping with people until you find the one.

I worry that once I hit double digits, I’ll really sound as though I’ve slept around a lot. Which let’s be real, for the past year I somewhat have! And realistically, I probably will continue to sleep with people until I meet my next long-term partner. However, every time I go out, the idea of my body count hitting double digits echoes in the back of my mind. It puts me off flirting with people because what if one thing leads to another and then we add to the tally. This self-imposed sense of shame is starting to impact the enjoyment of my nights out.

Why the fuck do I even care? This idea of having a body count is somewhat stupid. There is no such thing as a “good body count.” You have just slept with as many people as you’ve slept with. It’s a concept so rooted in misogyny and women remaining “pure.” It forces one to feel guilty about leading a sex-positive life! I would hate for this article to make someone else feel ashamed about their body count, because frankly I don’t care what it is! It wouldn’t shape my opinion of you in the slightest.

You friends won’t love you any more or less depending on how many people you’ve slept with. Your body count won’t stop you from meeting the love of your life. It is just a statistic that you should not let rule your life.

The flip side is I have now begun to feel shame about the shame I feel about my body count. It feels almost anti-feminist to even care about something so trivial and rooted in misogyny. If I really was a sex-positive and confident individual, I would feel no shame about my body count. I’d embrace the sexual freedom of my early 20s and do whatever I pleased, whether that be sex or not, without fear of how others would perceive me. However, internalised misogyny has maybe won this battle for now.

One day I will win the war, though! Because, frankly put, who gives a fuck. No point wasting my energy feeling stink over something no one else cares about.

should never compare yourself to lesson: You anyone on Love Island, it’ll only make you feel bad about yourself.

32 Columns | Tīwae

Oh Yes, Oh No is where sex stories go to be judged.

Was it hot? Was it a disaster? You decide. All stories are submitted by readers, published anonymously, and guaranteed to make you say 'oh yes' or 'oh no'.

Scan the QR code to submit your own and see if it makes the cut.

SALIENT

ADVISORY EXPLICIT CONTENT

During my first year in New Zealand, I met my boyfriend at a party. We clicked way too quickly. We drove around this foreign country leaving “memories” in places we probably shouldn’t have.

The funniest time was when our curtains were sent for dry cleaning. We thought it would take a couple of days.

It took a whole week. Our apartment windows faced directly into other people’s windows, but somehow that still didn’t stop us.

That was when I truly learned two things about New Zealand: curtains are essential, and everything takes forever. submitted by anonmous

first time i ate a girl out we were listening to music and the song satisfied from hamilton came on unexpectedly and i stopped and sung it all word for word and she stared at me like i was crazy and then i went back to eating her out without another word submitted by anonmous

me and my ex girlfriend both had our nipples pierced and one time we were having sex and our piercings got caught and we spent about 15 minutes boob to boob trying to extricate ourselves without hurting each other submitted by anonmous

when i had braces i was eating a girl out and her pubes got stuck in my braces and we ended up attached for like five whole minutes trying to get untangled… submitted by anonmous

Tīwae | Columns

33

data centres ACROSS

DOWN

1 It's a very one-sided kind of thing? (6,5) 7 Legolas, for example (3) 9 Makeup of a conspiracy theorist's hat (7) 10 My star sign, being born midway through November (7) 11 Setting for Persepolis (both the graphic novel and the World Heritage site) (4) 12 Supported, as steel or concrete (10) * 14 Salmon, blueberries or dark chocolate, supposedly (5,4) 20 Team up (4,6) 22 Site of a famed experiment by Galileo (4) 24 The nano-chameleon is the world's smallest (it's the size of a sunflower seed) (7) 25 What you might call your family if you were a Viking or a 7-Across (7) 26. Term of address for Gawain or Mix-A-Lot (3) 27. What an anonymous source might give you... or a hint to what's hiding five times in this crossword (6,5)

1 Like ancient legends (6) 2 When it's grown on driftwood, it's known as sharimiki (6) 3 Second word of many fairy tales (4) 4 Composer Antonio who some say poisoned Mozart (his name is an anagram of 'Israeli') (7) 5 Amber or shellac (5) 6 Set of rules that govern behaviour, like in a climate treaty (8) 7 Await; anticipate (6) 8 Inundates; swamps (6) 13 Art form that rich people only like when Banksy and Basquiat do it (8) 15 Flipped out (7) 16 Scandinavian inlets (6) 17 Clothing fastener with teeth (6) 18 Robe that's fastened with an obi (6) 19 Support; go into reverse; save a copy of (4,2) 21. Smells really bad (5) 23. Concludes (4) “Data Centres” crossword Author is Puck

ke a dad ted up li ffee t me pos orning co m Salient go d an paper 7 with his 0 0 r2 u arbo @jamesh

Send us your photos from around campus. It can be a cool bird, a broken vending machine, or anything else you think belongs in the magazine. DM your photo to @Salientgram on Instagram along with a caption. The best images will be chosen each week to be featured, and the winner gets a Hunter Lounge Bacon Butty. d rik Courtyar Bee in the Ki rip_me_up _t es m na @user

34 Puzzles | Panga

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we should stick together ACROSS

DOWN

1 Te Papa, for one (of waxwings) (6) 4 Trickery (of lapwings) (6) 7 Like VUWSA's Matt Tucker (3) 8 Flowery gift (of hummingbirds) (7)* 11 Modern component of a lightbulb or TV (3) 12 Extravagance (of flamingos) (11) 14 Elite army unit (3) 16 Stitch (3) 18 Billie Eilish hit, or a hint at this puzzle's theme (5, 2, 1, 7) 21 ___ Vegas (3) 24 VUWSA had one on Wed. 19 March (3) 26 Wild uproar (of parrots) (11) 28 Home to many of this puzzle's theme (3) 29 Education institute (of cardinals) (7) 32 Home to some of this puzzle's theme (3) 33 Settlement (of penguins) (6) 34 Homicide (of crows) (6)

1 Some Amazonian parrots (6) 2 Scorns (at) (6) 3 Bovine call (3) 4 Jane or John (3) 5 Some American raptors (6) 6 Trumponomics consequence (probably) (5, 3) 8 Charli's summer? (4) 9 Status ___ (3) 10 Arctic plain (6) 13 Bottom of the South Island (5) 15 Boxing royalty (3) 17 "Don't mind _____!" (2, 1, 2) 18 Vinegar (8) 19 Picturesque (6) 20 Early bird? (3) 22 Urban planner's problem (6) 23 Flying toy; flying predator (4) 24 Stunned (6) 25 Autobiography (6) 27 Spice Girl B or C (3) 30 Moronic intro? (3) 31 Precious stone (3)

“We Should Stick Together” Crossword Author is Nil Originally published in Salient, 2025

Panga | Puzzles

35

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If you have a story, confession, or experience you’d like to share—whether it’s an anonymous crush, workplace drama, or something else entirely—you may submit it .1,*+7 522. using the QR code below.

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helping the fella. Then they mentioned it in tutorial the next day. Said it was his fault. Was 100% their fault. I didn’t say anything. I regret that.

- anonymous

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VOTE

Salient again?

1. Never read

OR ain? ch a movie ag 2. Never wat

36 Puzzles | Panga

NOW!

1. Have free Netflix for life? (you can only watch what’s on Netflix)

29%

2. Have a physical DVD collection of all your favourite movies? (you can only watch the DVDs)

71%

sign of the week Welcome to the puzzle page from Puzzhead, your resident Puzzler.

These puzzles are provided to be fun and challenging. The Salient team and our contributors aim for accuracy, but occasional errors may occur. If you notice an error, you may write to editor@salient.org.nz. Please note that our puzzlers and contributors are doing their best, and none are professionals or working on these puzzles full time. For the word find, words may appear diagonally and backwards. To access solutions for the crosswords and connections puzzles, scan the QR code next to Puzzhead.

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To solve a Set Square, use arithmetic and logical reasoning. You are given a grid containing six sums: three reading across and three reading down. The arithmetic operations (division, multiplication, addition, and subtraction) are shown between the grid spaces. Place each of the numbers 1 to 9 exactly once into the grid so that all six sums are correct. Note that calculations are carried out in left-to-right order, not according to BEDMAS.

O I

E

N = 18

= 4

Notes:

word wheel

+

= 13

fix, mechanic · whakatika, kaiwhakatika pūkaha

N G

To solve Word Wheels, form words of four letters or more using the letters in the nine-letter wheel. Every word must include the central letter. Each letter may be used only as many times as it appears in the wheel.

The aim is to find as many valid words as possible from the target word list, including the nine-letter word that uses all the letters.

19 possible words

connections To solve connections, group the sixteen words into four sets of four based on a shared connection. Each word belongs in only one group. Continue until all four groups are identified. On our website, the groupings are uploaded one at a time, so if you get stuck, you can view the answer for a single connection without revealing the full solution.

CAP

STAND

BEAM

POST

BLOCK

CROWN

BAR

REACH

RANGE

LID

BREADTH

BARRICADE

BAN

SCOPE

PILLAR

TOP Panga | Puzzles

37

aries

taurus

Channel Bigfoot this week. You may not always be correct, but you will be kind and gracious about getting it wrong. You’ve got a big heart and a knack for getting up to trouble; look after yourself this week. You deserve it.

Do: timber, license, colon Don’t: reality, era, wreck

Thriftman is your calling this week: do it loud, do it full of confidence.

Regrets and looking back are for people who aren’t you; be decisive this week, it will lead you to all kinds of adventure.

Do: tear, simplicity, corn Don’t: appetite, presidency, angle

leo

virgo

Meow, this week it is time to channel your inner lion as the Metlink Cat Girl. Catch as many buses as possible, maybe jump on a train? It’s the week for adventure, and remember, if you tag on with a eftpos card, Metlink only charges you some of the time.

Do: helicopter, slippery, army Don’t: smart, gold, evoke

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

Neither. It’s Mothman.

This week, channel Bigfoot's best buddy and be the ultimate hype team and support crew. Any decisions your friends make are the right ones; hold your tongue and be ready to go along for the ride.

Do: parallel, flower, widen Don’t: hobby, sensitivity, office

sagittarius You’re coming this week like Kiwizilla comes into Wellington: bold, destructive, and very good looking. Let the masses cower at your feet and take your rightful place above all other star signs as supreme leader.

You’ve earnt it.

Do: aisle, blind, cope Don’t: plug, twin, introduce

38

Horoscopes

capricorn Like Puzzhead, you may not get everything correct, but damn you’re trying your best. This is the week for all other star signs to give you a break, and for you to pat yourself on the back for all the hard work you’re doing. The world wouldn’t function without you.

Do: credibility, user, magnetic Don’t: unlike, slippery, understand

Strange travellers from distant constellations have beamed you up to the Mothership to deliver some good news and hard truths.

Consider the gravity of their words (or don't).

cancer

gemini

You’re feeling like Hunk Unc to this horoscope writer. Give sage advice; get involved with your friends' love lives, give unsolicited opinions about their issues.

Remember: this week, you know best.

Do: interface, insist, snuggle Don’t: teams, mirror, riot

Meow, you’re looking awfully like the Studylink Cat Girl this week.

Let's try to pick up the phone and answer some calls, yeah? People are relying on you, and ignoring your support systems isn’t helping the situation either.

Do: hide, limit, notorious Don’t: execute, pipe, pie

libra

scorpio

This week is feeling like a Gus Saddleton week.

Lower those standards and just enjoy everything at a surface level; life is all five bags of popcorn so find the good in everything. It’s going to be a good week… because you will make it a good one.

Do: hallway, report, genetic Don’t: initial, chocolate, truth

You're Patrick Stables this week. It’s time to put your investigator pants on and search for the needle in the haystack. This week connections will start coming together; get a pinboard, and connect those threads with some red string.

Do: reproduce, oak, gem Don’t: communication, training, illustrate

aquarius You’re the Arovision Eye this week: meticulous, full of tangents, and quite possibly in love with Jemaine Clement.

Take this as a sign to sit back, relax on the couch, and watch all the movies you want this week. You deserve to rest.

Do: wind, immune, ear Don’t: canvas, laboratory, heart

pisces This week you’re Ciph the Karate Kid. This is the week to play hard and work hard. Study hard so you can hand in all your assignments two days early, and use that extra time to kick back and relax. Try one of his gaming suggestions.

Do: conscious, thanks, artist Don’t: departure, cruel, cruelty

Current constellation

LEO July 23 August 22

Horoscopes

39