Issuu

EN .

ISSUE. 02

THE TEAM Editors: Asher Emanuel & Ollie Neas editor@salient.org.nz Designer: Racheal Reeves designer@salient.org.nz News Editor: Stella Blake-Kelly news@salient.org.nz Arts Editor: Adam Goodall arts@salient.org.nz Film Editor: Gerald Lee Books Editor: Kurt Barber Visual Arts Editor: Rob Kelly Theatre Editor: Neal Barber Chief Feature Writer: Elle Hunt Junior Feature Writer: Fairooz Samy Chief Reporter: Nicola Wood Chief Sub-Editor: Carlo Salizzo CONTRIBUTORS Nathan Allan, Hayley Adams, Nick Cross, Hilar y Beattie, Richard D’Ath, Uther Dean, Martin Doyle, Zack Dorner, Andrew Donnelly, Harriet Farquhar, Reed Fleming, Rebekah Galbraith, Amy Hodgkinson, Roxy Heart, Patrick Hunn, Bridie Hood, Rewiti Kohere, Prudence Lovelock, Tokey Madness, Molly McCarthy, Hamish McConnochie, Callum McDougal, Hugo McKinnon, Duncan McLachlan, Udayan Mukherjee, Livvy Nonoa, Sam Northcott, Sam Phillips, Will Robertson, Michael Sergel, Rajnesh Singh, Bas Suckling, Breanna ‘Uruk-hai’ Urquhart, Lewis Van Den Berg-Shaw, Ta’ase Vaoga, Ellen Walker, Nicola Wood.

"...[YOU] DON'T

NEED TO SIT THERE IN THE MIDDLE

CONTRIBUTOR OF THE WEEK: Gerald Lee, master of efficiency. C O N TA C T Level 2, Student Union Building Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington Phone: 04 463 6766 Email: editor@salient.org.nz ADVERTISING Contact: Mark Maguire Phone: 04 463 6982 Email: sales@vuwsa.org.nz

OF THE TERRACE AND

ABOUT US Salient is produced by independent student journalists, employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of, syndicated and supported by the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Salient is funded by Victoria University of Wellington students, through the student services levy. It is printed by Printcorp of Tauranga. Opinions expressed are not necessarily representative of those of ASPA, VUWSA, Printcorp or the goddamn liberal education establishment, but we of Salient are proud of our beliefs and take full responsibility for them.

BURN

OTHER Subscriptions: Too lazy to walk to uni to pick up a copy of your favourite mag? We can post them out to you for a nominal fee. $40 for Vic student, $55 for everyone else. Please send an email containing your contact details with ‘subscription’ in the subject line to editor@salient.org.nz

SOFAS."

This issue is dedicated to all the innocent souls lost forever in the depths of the library.

WWW.SALIENT.ORG.NZ

CHANCELLOR IAN MCKINNON, CONT. PAGE 16 youtube.com/salienttv

@salientmagazine

facebook.com/salientmagazine

CONTENTS NEWS

☞ PHOTO: TOKEY MADNESS

Editorial Top 10 News News on the March Eye on Exec LOL News Overheard At Vic The Week That Wasn't

THE COLUMNS

12. 13. 14. 15. 15. 40. 41. 41. 42.

Partisan Hacks Political Porn with Hamish Mulled Whine With H.G. Beattie Science - What's It Up To? C.R.E.A.M Things You Already Know But Just Need To Be Told Roxy Heart & Prudence Lovelock Eat Your Fucking Greens Nothin' but Net

THE EDUCATION ISSUE

16. 20. 21. 22. 25. 26. 28. 30.

Wellington ♥ Students? We Are the University: Past & Future The Case Against Education What Happened To Your O Week ? Why Are You Here Sitting Ducks Pat Walsh: VC or GC? Teachers Teaching Teachers

THE ARTS

32. 33. 34. 35. 36.

Music Theatre Books Film Visual Arts

REPRESENTATION & SERVICES

37. 38. 38. 39. 39.

Presidential Address VUWSA Treasurer Student Health Ngai Tauira Bent

SALIENT LOVES YOU

43. 44. 46. 47.

Notices Letters Puzzles Radio & Gig Guide

EDUCATITORIAL. ☞ ASHER & OLLIE It just so happened that we were having a chat to some old geezers the other weekend. These were some old geezers who were at Vic back in the ‘60s–and the one nugget of wisdom commonly imparted by them all was how sorry they felt for students these days. Everybody emphasised that, in a time when assessment was done purely externally, the majority of the year was spent in pursuit of alcohol or sex. Now, these old geezers weren’t slack old geezers either. These were old geezers who, for the large part, went onto achieve greatly in later life–amongst them were judges, authors, Queen’s Counsel and even an ex-Prime Minister. This got us thinking about uni. Perhaps us kids do, in fact, have it hard. On the cover of Salient this week we have claimed, somewhat boldly, that education is broken. By this we don’t mean that learning itself is wrong or that people should not be educated. Rather, the institutions in which we are educated are themselves broken, becoming increasingly inflexible and less responsive to the needs of individual students. Education has become a machine. It is a machine in which success in an academic institution is measured by size rather than quality, where the worth of a discipline is measured by it’s vocational outcome, not its intrinsic merit. It is harder, as individuals, to seek the knowledge and skills we each want. There are some among us who would have the whole thing burn to the ground; who believe the only way we might return to the roots of education is to climb the

hill and listen to the unfiltered wisdom of some modern Socrates. But while it is true that the machine is often cold and brutish, the systematisation of learning has allowed our community to come closer than ever before to making education the domain of all people. The fact is, machines like our University allow for the wisdom of some modern Socrates to be consistently available to people beyond a select few; there is merit in mass manufacture. And the thing is, the machine is here to stay, and stay it must if we believe all of us has the right to an education. And we’re a part of the very machine we so readily criticise, and bear an equal responsibility for its condition. While we may be products of it, we needn’t be passive. Students are as vital to learning as teachers, and both are more important than the administrative structures of the moment. Change that which you can, make the machine more human where possible. Your learning is your own. The course is shit, you say? Make it better. The material out-dated? Say something new. Education is broken? Fix it. If there’s anything we can learn from reflecting on the way that education has changed in the recent past it is this: practices change and orthodoxies die. But this is only because we are committed to being learners, and all which that entails. Live up to that mantle, not because you are the university, but because you are a part thereof.

3. 4. 5. 7. 8. 9. 11. 11.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

ALTERNATIVES TO

A UNIVERSITY EDUCATION ☞ CARLO SALIZZO 4

TEN JOINING A CULT

NINE VAGRANCY

EIGHT INTUITIVE FINANCIAL INVESTMENT

SEVEN TOURING WITH 48MAY

SIX POLITICS

FIVE ANIMAL HUSBANDRY

FOUR INCESSANT MASTURBATION

THREE SEDITION

TWO TUMBLR

ONE PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS

ALSO ONLINE Exclusive interview with Leader of the

THIS WEEK

Opposition David Shearer.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

UNIVERSITY TO REPLACE VUWSA STUDENT FORUM TO SPEAK FOR'EM ☞ STELLA BLAKE-KELLY The University is establishing a new primary representational body, and giving it the mandate to be the voice of students—even though students haven’t authorised them to do so. The establishment of the Student Forum has the support of the University and VUWSA, but neither have engaged in active consultation with students, raising concerns, as students haven’t mandated the forum to speak on behalf of them. The University is the only institution in New Zealand to have responded to the implementation of Voluntary Student Membership in this way, with others recognising students’ associations as the representational bodies on campuses. Discussions between the University and VUWSA, about how both parties would like student representation to look in a voluntary environment, saw the University present a model of the a Student Forum in principle. The Forum would be a universal representative body of around 30 people, elected by class representatives and faculty delegates. Sitting alongside them would be several members from VUWSA as well as representative groups such as Ngai Tauira. According to the original document, which saw the establishment of the Student Forum passed in principle at a meeting of the University Council in October 2011, “it would act as a consultation group on university issues and would also engage with the wider student body, ensuring that representatives were well-informed and reflected a range of student views.” Since the passing of the Student Forum in principle, VUWSA and the University have been engaged in discussion as to

the specifics of how it would function in practice. However, such discussion has not involved any input from students. VUWSA’s decision to support the establishment of a new representational body has been called into question, as there is little evidence of discussion amongst 2011 or 2012 executive members. Salient could not find any record of official motions of support passed in minutes of general executive meetings, nor record of discussion specifically related to the Forum’s establishment. When pressed on this, 2012 VUWSA President Bridie Hood provided no evidence to the contrary. She acknowledged that it hadn’t gone out to wider student consultation. However, Hood noted that there will be a chance for student feedback once the Forum is up-and-running, as its structure and effectiveness would be reviewed in due course. The Student Forum is yet to be enforced, as VUWSA and the University have compiled a document on its practice that must be discussed at Academic Board before progressing to the University Council for final approval. Salient’s request for a copy was declined, as it wasn’t to be made public until after the magazine went to print. 2012 University Council Representative and 2010 VUWSA President Max Hardy had also not seen the document so couldn’t comment on it specifically, but did express concern. “I have serious reservations about the concept and practical reality of the Student Forum,” he told Salient.

“I would say that the international evidence is that independent and accountable students’ associations are the most robust and effective models for ensuring students are well-represented.” Hardy further suggested, “the University would be better off supporting the current model towards success than trying other methods which have failed elsewhere.” Hood expressed similar sentiments, outlining her intentions “When it comes up at Academic Board I will be ensuring that the members of the board know that this is not a necessary step,” Hood said. “The reason the University has mandated [the Student Forum's] introduction is that they feel with the introduction of [Voluntary Student Membership] they can no longer recognise VUWSA as the official student representative body of students, because it’s no longer compulsory [where] all students are a member.” “We disagree with that view. If you look around the country you will see that no other institutions have created a Student Forum or new Students Council. But they are still working with students’ associations on campus as the representative body,” Hood added. Salient will have further detail on the Student Forum and its implementation in a coming issue. The Academic Board meeting will take place on Thursday 15 March at 9am in the Hunter Council Chamber, and is open to members of the p ublic. Salient will be live-tweeting all the action @salientmagazine.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

NEW ZEALAND NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE KIWI KIDS RUN AWAY FROM HOME

☞ STEPHEN GILLAM Not satisfied with local opportunities, students are heading overseas in greater numbers according to a new study.

worried most about paying rent on time, and just 5 per cent worried about where their next meal would come from.

The study, carried out by research company Colmar Brunton, interviewed more than 1,000 New Zealand students and found that students' primary concern was what to do immediately after graduation.

The fears stem largely from a poor economic climate, with fewer jobs available and most going to candidates with prior work experience.

Faced with this, 17 per cent of students said they were worried about not getting a job altogether, with a "27 PER CENT OF YEAR 9 STUDENTS further 9 per cent worried [EXPRESSED] A DESIRE TO PERMANENTLY HEAD about being landed with an unfavourable job.

OVERSEAS WHEN THE OPPORTUNITY AROSE."

47 per cent of students said they felt most stressed about post-graduate job prospects. For perspective, 12 per cent

The study also showed that females worried more about finding a job than their male counterparts.

Perhaps most alarming was the company's findings that the desire to leave New Zealand is becoming prevalent at a younger age, with 27 per cent of Year 9 students expressing a desire to permanently head overseas when the opportunity arose. Spencer Willis—director of the study—said that retaining New Zealand's talented and skilled workers was essential for future growth. One solution he proposed was for businesses to give out part-time jobs to undergraduate students to raise confidence levels and partially allay the problem.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

ANCIENT PUBLICATION REVIVED

NEWS

SALIENT UNCONCERNED

☞ ROBERT KELLY Carrying on from their activities last year the ‘We Are The University’ protest group has over the last week begun an attempt to reinstate their presence on campus. Last Wednesday they released their own publication, as a mouthpiece for their organization, titled Student. One Salienteer received a copy from the Aotearoa Worker’s Party stand at the clubs week prompting questions about what affiliations the group has. This uncertainty of origin is compounded by the fact that the pamphlet issued is named issue 4, in reference to a publication of the same name which existed briefly in 1933 at Victoria University. The original magazine was published by a group called the Free Discussions Club, an openly militant and communist group that called for open discussion at the University, free of censorship or control

ON THE

from the University. Members of WATU who spoke to Salient denied that they saw themselves as a continuation of the club, but did cite them as an inspiring movement. WATU plans to release a copy of Student every fortnight and hopes that it will provide a platform for ongoing debate and dissemination of information. On the same day as the release of the pamphlet, WATU held a meeting in the student union building which had drawn about 12 people at its starting time. They plan to continue action throughout the year protesting against the corporatization of education and promoting the freedom of education at Victoria. The group appeared during the second trimester of 2011 and for information regarding them and their history you can check them out on page 20.

MARCH THE WORLD THIS WEEK

﹒﹒

Power security, satellite navigation and plane routes are thrown into mortal peril as the star which Planet Earth orbits–colloquially referred to as “the sun”–unleashes a storm of charged particles in a particularly moody phase in its 11 year cycle. Earthly dwellers are advised to retreat to their bunkers, or, at the very least, wear a wide-brimmed hat.

﹒﹒

After twenty years of brutal tyranny in Uganda, Facebook activists learn of notorious war criminal Joseph Kony. Thousands of impassioned exapathetes have joined cyber forces to generating enough re-posts to shame the tyrant into submission.

UNI'S SECRETS TO BE REVEALED WHEN MINISTER CAN BE BOTHERED

☞ NICOLA WOOD The Government is taking a critical eye to how New Zealand's tertiary institutions are governed, with a particular focus on transparency.

was implementing National's election promise to “improve the governance and operations of publicly owned tertiary institutions”.

Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce has said his officials are in the process of comparing New Zealand institutions with overseas ones, to see if any changes should be made.

In a relatively rare occurrence, Tertiary Education Union President and exVictoria University lecturer Dr Sandra Grey agreed with the Minister, saying that tertiary bodies should be accountable to their staff, students and DEBATE local communities.

"...MORE DEMOCRACY AND PUBLIC WOULD RESULT IN MORE ACCOUNTABILITY." Joyce stated that openness about governance processes was an important part of making sure students receive a quality education. “Obviously, it's appropriate to [run tertiary institutions] in as transparent a manner as possible within the normal constraints of running this type of institution,” he said. The Minister's comments were prompted by a question from the Labour Party's Tertiary Education Spokesperson Grant Robertson, who asked whether Joyce

She suggested that the “pseudo-market” framework Government requires tertiary institutions to operate within resulted in information about their governance being kept behind closed doors. Dr Grey said she disagreed with institutions, like universities, keeping governance matters secret under claims of “commercial sensitivity”, and that more democracy and public debate would result in more accountability.

﹒﹒

Her Majesty the Queen is going on holiday across the land as part of her Diamond Jubilee. The nation is a little miffed as to what gifts to buy her royal highness. As always with Liz, head-wear is in.

﹒﹒

In a paradigm shifting revelation, experts discover that 15 per cent of a gorilla’s DNA is closer to humans than a chimp’s, providing some longawaited explanation as to why Uncle Dave looks like he does.

﹒﹒

In a stereotypical act of xenophobia to entice voters, French President Nicolas Sarkozy announces that there are two many goddamn foreigners in France. Turns out Sarkozy doesn’t remember that his own dad was a Hungarian immigrant LOL.

﹒﹒

An Invercargill child has broken out in a rash after eating an abnormally shaped peach. The local peach merchant at the fore of the controversy has described the whole business as “very odd”.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

ON EXEC THE STATE OF PLAY

☞ STELLA BLAKE-KELLY 28 September 2011 saw ACT MP Heather Roy’s highly controversial Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill (commonly known as VSM) pass through Parliament, with support of the National and United Future. The legislation made membership of students’ associations voluntary, meaning no longer students were forced to be a member when enrolling at University. Nor were they forced to pay the membership levy associated with membership, usually around $150. Following the passing, VUWSA was 8

forced to make big decisions about how to operate in the new voluntary environment which came into effect on 1 Jan 2012. Without universal membership, it could no longer claim the right to speak on behalf of all students. And without the guaranteed revenue stream of compulsory membership levies, it would no longer receive over $2.2 million in revenue annually. A decision was made, like the majority of students’ associations around the country, to remove any membership fee in an attempt to gather the biggest student support-base possible. The prioritisation of a representational mandate put VUWSA in a financially uncertain position. With a limited number of assets, it was not going to be able to fund operations itself. By choosing not to charge for any of the services it provides, it had to look elsewhere for income. Help was not too far away, with the VUWSA Trust, managed by ex-VUWSA Executive members, promising to provide about $250,000 annually. However, with a typical operating budget of $2.2 million, it would hardly suffice. It was decided that VUWSA’s

contributions to the VUWSA Trust and a fund for future building projects would be cut, leaving them with about $1.6 million required to operate at current service levels. This saw VUWSA turn to friend and often foe - Victoria University. History sees VUWSA’s relationship with Victoria as one of ups and downs. Given VUWSA’s role in advocating for students, and protecting them from the University’s commercial interests, they haven’t always seen eye to eye. History also paints VUWSA as having its own moments of pride and regret— from establishing a class representative system that grew to be the most successful of its kind nationally, to blowing $22,000 'pimpin' van. In recent times, the introduction of an association manager has seen VUWSA transform into a more professional organisation— much to the detriment of exciting Salient news pages. This history is important to mention, as it highlights the implications in VUWSA’s decision to generate revenue through a partnership. With both VUWSA and the University having a number of common interests, including providing an ‘outstanding student experience’, it did not seem at all likely that VUWSA’s services would cease to exist. In 2012, VUWSA will be contracted by the University to provide a number of services. The money of which comes from the Student Services Levy, a compulsory fee paid by all students to the University.

☞ SAM NORTHCOTT

Following the introduction of VSM, Tertiary Education Minister and notorious babe Steven Joyce changed the regulations surrounding what the Levy could be spent on. Though it included many of the services VUWSA provides, it did not account for all. This essentially prevented the University from directly funding VUWSA through the Levy. In becoming a contracted service provider, VUWSA has potentially lost almost all financial independence from the University. An awkward position to be in when their role quite often sees them speaking out against the University. Though there are new representational structures and mumbles of a Memorandum of Understanding, only time will tell whether VUWSA will be able to stand as strong as it has in the face of an ever changing University. Salient has all the time in the world, assuming the University decides to continue funding us, to keep a watchful eye as details of said contracts begin to unfold. Some details of which, will be in the next issue of Salient.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

FREE SHIT!

LOL

Due to our eternal benevolence, Salient is giving away two free(!) copies of The Thing on DVD. The Thing is a prelude to John Carpenter's classic 1982 film of the same name, about a group of scientists in the Antarctic who are confronted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of the people that it kills. To win this fucking awesome prize, all you have to do is send us a drawing of the most frightful alien monster thing that you can possibly imagine. Points will be awarded for creativity, colour and peversity. Drawings can be sent by email to editor@salient.org.nz, or dropped off at the Salient offices behind the Hunter Lounge on level 3 of the Hunter Building.

☞ HARRY EVANS

PENGUIN PERIL PLEASES PRESS. In a case which has entralled flightless birds everywhere, a 1 year old Humboldt penguin has managed to escape the Tokyo Sea Life Park, clambering over a rock wall twice his size. According to park representative Takashi Sugino they only realised the penguin had escaped when "the director of a neighbouring zoo emailed us with a photo." Since his escape the unnamed penguin has been seen swimming in a local river. Penguin high jinks has been on the rise in recent years with New Zealand media darling Happy Feet being the closest to home.

AUSTRALIAN BANK FAILS TO UNDERSTAND WELLINGTON HIPSTERS. Victoria students have been subjected to yet another year of Westpac banks "Westie-pak" campaign. Despite it being about the fourth year they have run this campaign and it being about five years past its point of cultural relevance even then, Westpac have decided that its all they have to get the kids into banking. Salient understands that Westpac internally refers to Wellington as 'Wellywood.'

BIG PHARMA DESTROYS RACISM. A new drug designed to lower heart rates and treat chest pains has been discovered to also decrease racist attitudes in those who take it. Scientists put this down to the fact that racism is largely based on fear and as a relaxant the drug lessens these impulses. The test group was small and the scientists are interested in expanding the group to see if these effects continue. From this writers experience growing up, the Canterbury region could use some heavy doses.

HULK'S HULK. Dancer Hulk Hogan has had the intense privacy bubble he keeps around him burst with rumours surfacing of a five year old sex tape. The modest star of ‘Hogan knows best’ sent a typically demure response to TMZ saying that he wasn’t sure who his female co-star was: 'It wasn't just one brunette I was running wild for a few months... I don't even remember people's names, much less girls.” Hogan’s lawyer claims legal action will be brought if any person or girl attempts to release the tape.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

OTAGO UNI KILLS 25,000 PRIMITIVE ANIMALS DURING RESEARCH UNFORTUNATELY NO SCARFIES AMONG THE VICTIMS

☞ MARGOT TAYLOR, CRITIC 25,000 animals died in University of Otago research and teaching projects between 2009 and 2010. This number is expected to increase significantly, as statistics from 2011 are yet to be released. A recent Otago Daily Times article pushed the issue into the public sphere when it published figures showing that in just two years, departments within the University had used an estimated 53,334 animals for the purposes of teaching and research. Additionally, it was revealed that the survival rate of these animals in 2009 was 62 per cent, while in 2010 it was a mere 16 per cent.

A veritable Noah’s Ark of animals including pigeons, reptiles, possums and fish are used to conduct the research and teaching activities. A University spokesperson stated that the “knowledge gained from animal-based studies helps scientists better understand how the body works, and hence there are major benefits to be gained for the welfare and wellbeing of both animals and humans.” The Animal Welfare Act 1999 governs the use of animals in research and teaching, and also controls testing. The University was quick to stress however that they do not conduct tests on animals. The Act has “very strict” guidelines, and the University employs a full-time lab veterinarian to oversee the treatment of the animals that are used. In addition the University told Critic that “animals used in research must go through a rigorous approval process with the University Animal Ethics Committee. This Committee also strictly controls and monitors the research.” Despite the University’s emphasis that animals are only used if it has been determined that non-animal options are not viable, animal rights groups such as SAFE argue that this excuse is neither acceptable nor truthful. Dunedin SAFE members told Critic that although the number of animals killed during research and teaching purposes did not surprise them, they are “outraged” that the use

of animals for these purposes is still occurring at all. Campaigns director for SAFE Hans Kriek said SAFE was calling for a national moratorium on the use of animals in New Zealand for research. The group also indicated that they believed the reason why 2011 statistics were yet to be released was because they may show that animal deaths in research and

purposes saying, “If there is nothing wrong with animal research stand up and be proud of it”. SAFE indicated that they would be issuing a press release on the issue to create further public discussion and awareness about the use of animals in research, not only at Otago University but also at all tertiary institutions throughout the country. SAFE indicated that they would be issuing a press release on the issue to create further public discussion and awareness about the use of animals in research, not only at Otago University but also at all tertiary institutions throughout the country.

"...IT WAS REVEALED THAT THE SURVIVAL RATE OF THESE ANIMALS IN 2009 WAS 62 PER CENT, WHILE IN 2010 IT WAS A MERE 16 PER CENT." teaching purposes had further increased between 2010 and 2011. Kriek further challenged the use of animals for research and teaching

⊗ NEWS ⊗

“OVERHEARD” VIC

POLS 114 LECTURER, LOOKING AT VOLUNTEERS FOR CLASS REP: “So...this is going to a bit like New Zealand’s Next Top Model.” Rosemary Coppell

GUY IN OVERBRIDGE: “We have a wood burner too. So we can, like, burn wood.” Ashleigh Hume

LECTURER IN MDIA 101: “what in god’s name is trade me?” Nick Churbridge

OVERHEARD IN STAIRS AT HUGH MACKENZIE

“I accidentally vomited on him as he was about to come...and he kept going!” Chelsea Phillips

OVERHEARD IN KELBURN Lady 1: “When is your baby due?” Lady 2: Oh, um... I’m just overweight...” Lady 1: Oh! You are overdue?!?! You poor thing. How much longer?” Lady 2: “No, not overdue. Overweight.” Lady 1: “Oh...” Alice Blair

KEBURN PARADE: “So... like cows don’t eat.. from where they shit..” Danica Carter

CONTRACT LAW LECTURER: "I have music from the 60s on my iPod... yes, the 1960s.... I've got U2 and Coldplay... yes, I've heard of them before... but I still haven't found what I'm looking for." Patrick Rozendaal

FRESHER: "OMG, I just feel like... so... Wellington." Alice Blair

MARK 101: Lecturer: "Many companies who target children will also be targetting their mums. What do mum's have that makes them the centre of attention?" Student: "Implants" Tim Smith EMAIL SNIPPETS OF VIC LIFE TO OVERHEARD@SALIENT.ORG.NZ, OR FIND OVERHEARD@VIC ON FACEBOOK.

CHRISTIAN GROUP VOWS TO RETURN STUDENTS TO THE GARDEN OF WEEDEN ☞ HARRY EVANS The bud of controversy was sparked bluntly at Victoria University’s clubs week last week as ‘Large!’, the youth wing of Get-Up church offered a free Marijuana bong hit and beer funnel as a reward for signing up to their deluxe ‘Saved4life’ package. Salient spoke to first year Ben Mcleod as he was leaving the stall on the Kirk overbridge. “Fuck man, I’m ripped as,” he said, “I’m definitely joining up now and... where did you get that sausage from?”. While walking away Salient heard Mcleod whisper “Econ’s gonna be buzzy as,”

When asked for an explanation for this new direction, red squadron Team Leader Chris Temple explained, "We decided that the lollies and free pizza weren't working as effectively as we—or should I say the Lord—desired, so we thought, what do the youth want? And it became pretty obvious, aye.'' On the eternal moral repercussions of this, Temple said, ''Beer is legal and God made weed. I’ve read the Bible, OK.” Large!, however, have drawn the line at condoms. Salient suspects this new tactic might be part of a broader abstinence scheme to get all them kids too drunk to fuck. Salient is investigating.

EXILE ON MOUNT STREET ☞ RYAN HAMMOND The unfortunate positioning of stalls was the source of further commotion at last week’s annual clubs week. The controversy began when the club known as the Communists United for a Nicer Tomorrow was placed beside a stall promoting new Blue V. The wisdom of placing a hardcore communist stall next to a beacon of successful capitalist enterprise has been questioned by many who attended the week. As Todd Pole put it: “I just wanted a free V, ya know man, and these guys were totally killing it by telling me that capitalism was going to like enslave me forever or some shit aye”. A scuffle broke out as one of the communists—identified only as Comrade Smith—become fed up with the blatant repression and exploitation he was witnessing. “I could see the girls giving away the free V, they were totes babin' and they didn’t realise it but they were only hired cos they were hot as, and

they were being exploited by this huge multinational company, man”, he said. Smith, armed with his noble ideology and a dozen eggs, took to pelting the promogirls and yelling at anyone who tried to take a V. “The flavour is passionfruit and avocado, mixed with the blood of the proletariat”. Salient questioned one of the V promo girls about being egged. “He really had no idea what he was talking about, I’m working towards a PhD in Cosmic Phrenology, so to claim I’m only hired because of my looks is entirely inaccurate.” Subsequently, Smith received a threeyear ban from Victoria premises. He was not fazed, claiming it had become As a result of his actions, Smith was "an institution that put money in front of the revolution and overthrowing the bourgeoisie. Besides, this gives me an opportunity to further my career as a freestyle poet”.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

VIC LABOUR

VIC NATS

Universities are the incubators for our future leaders, yet the current Government are starving them of funding and burdening graduates with massive debt.

Reform surrounding university programs or courses should not originate from the government but rather from the university itself.

Labour are committed to quality, affordable tertiary education. We introduced student allowances, interestfree student loans and the fees maxima scheme, and will continue to drive reform.

However, it is my opinion that the government needs to look at increasing literacy and numeracy requirements needed to obtain university entrance, while also ensuring that access to interest-free student loans is maintained.

We need to turn these debt factories into modern institutions of innovation, research, creative thinking and careers to create a richer, greener and smarter New Zealand.

Whilst reform on every sector of tertiary education would be ideal we need to remind ourselves that funding is not infinite.

▷ Reed Fleming

▷ Rajnesh Singh

SALIENT ASKED,

PARTISAN

HACKS ACT ON CAMPUS Act on Campus did not respond to Salient's request for comment. Shame, that.

"DOES THE TERTIARY EDUCATION SYSTEM REQUIRE REFORM?"

THE HACKS RESPOND...

GREENS AT VIC Significant reform of the tertiary education system is necessary to remove barriers to study and ensure it is accessible to all New Zealanders. We need to focus on lowering fees, writing off student debt and extending eligibility of student allowances. Funding for both institutions and research and development also must be reviewed to ensure it is sufficient. Tertiary education must be seen not as a burden, but as an investment. ▷ Harriet Farquar

NZ FIRST Yes. NZ First would introduce a universal living allowance for all full-time students in tertiary education. We estimate this would benefit almost 47,000 students and lead to a substantial reduction in borrowing. NZ First will invest more in the Industry Training Fund and substantially increase the number of apprentices per year. We do not believe it is possible to have a viable university or student culture without an independent student voice. NZ First would ensure that tertiary institutions fund proper student representation. NZ First will introduce a dollar for dollar student debt write-off scheme for graduates who remain and work in New Zealand. ▷ Amy Hodgkinson

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

POLITICAL

PORN WITH HAMISH CHARTER SCHOOLS, YOU SAY? ☞ HAMISH MCCONNOCHIE Despite returning only one MP following November’s election ACT managed to secure several policy wins out of its confidence and supply agreement with National. The most commented and debated policy is the trial of charter schools. The trial will allow non-profit community organisations, iwi, school trustees, faithbased educational organisations, and not-for-profit and for-profit management groups to run schools. Charter school boards will “set the length of the school day and year, set their own teaching practices, raise their own revenues, pay their teachers according to performance, and use any approved curriculum/ qualification.” Charter schools are not allowed to charge tuition fees nor restrict student access, except on geographical grounds. The trial will take place in eastern/ central Christchurch and South Auckland. These areas have been chosen as the trial is “targeted at lifting educational achievement in low decile areas and disadvantaged communities where educational underperformance has become the norm.” Following the trial’s announcement, there was much comment, questioning “where” charter schools came from, with suggestions that neither ACT nor National campaigned on the proposal. For example, see Angela Fitchett’s 'We Can’t Afford To Let Our Kids Lose' or Ian Leckie’s comments to TVNZ in 'Charter Schools Plan Draws Strong Opposition'. Persons holding such a view point were ill-informed. In August last year, Don Brash called for the Government to allow parents greater choice in education, noting the success of Sweden’s “free school” model. By November, Brash was

referring to charter schools in Alberta, Canada, as a framework New Zealand could adopt.

Since that decision, several hundred free schools have come into existence. Like America, there is question as to their effectiveness. Right-leaning British Since the announcement of the trial, there have been many claims made about newspaper, the Daily Telegraph, notes that free schools benefit children from charter schools. These have ranged wealthy backgrounds more than those from charter schools being ineffective, from the poorest backgrounds. Further, to allowing businesses to take over the attendance at free schools failed to lift education sector. Existing in order to lift educational achievement after the age educational achievement, comparing the of 16. The left-of-centre Guardian has performance of students at public and previously reported that free schools charter schools can provide a good basis “failed to raise standards and caused segregation”. "CHARTER SCHOOLS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO

CHARGE TUITION FEES..."

to assess their effectiveness. Stanford University conducted a study in 2009, comparing American students at charter schools to “demographically matched” students at nearby public schools. The results showed that 40 per cent of students in charter schools performed on par with public school students, with 37 per cent significantly worse. Only 17 per cent performed significantly better. Of course, there is also the belief that, due to pressure from competition, public schools are forced to lift their performance in response to charter schools. There is some evidence to back this up. In 2004, the United States’ National Bureau of Economic Research found in jurisdictions where there were both charter and public schools, there was a 1 per cent annual growth in endof-year examination performance. In Sweden, whose model Dr Brash praised, independent or “free schools” have existed since 1992, following a decision to allow public funding to be given to independent schools, at a comparable level to public schools.

The most vocal opponents in New Zealand have been teachers, principals and education unions. Those opposed to the trial point out the lack of evidence indicating any benefits to be found in implementing charter schools. Peter Simpson, of the Principals Federation, has stated that competition does not work in the education sector whilst the Post Primary Teachers Association, PPTA, said that implementing such a model without greater research is a recipe for disaster. The proposal has recently found support from a unlikely candidate, with former Labour MP for Tamaki Makaurau John Tamihere, calling for the trial to be extended to Waitakere in Auckland’s west. Tamihere told TVNZ’s Breakfast that west Auckland schools are failing the needs of the area’s parents, citing a third of students travelling to schools elsewhere. Tamihere says current principals blame failing communities and failing parents for poor school performance, and he believes the trial is a chance to address the “big failing tail” which currently exists in the education sector.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

THE SCIENCE OF DEDUCTION; ACCURACY AT THE EXPENSE OF MYSTERY I am generally behind the curve. The first time I was out late enough to see a street-cleaning machine in action was last Monday. It took me two years to pick up on the whole ‘if u seek Amy’ double entendre.* So it fits that I’d get into Sherlock Holmes around a hundred and twenty five years after he was first published. Inspired by a Scottish medical professor for whom the author clerked, Sherlock is tall, dark, sociopathic and ragingly intelligent. The she-rection rages, amirite? Not even his tendency to spend weeks at a time idly injecting cocaine when the criminal underbelly of London isn’t giving him an inch can diminish him in my mind. My skills of observation have been known to be outstripped by your average foetus. Yet I can’t seem to give up trying to apply Holmes’ science of deduction to my life. Previously my attempts at any kind of deduction were centred on either the weather (in the oh-that-I-wereKaren-from-Mean Girls sense, obviously, because having breasts that sense rain is on par cool-wise with dogs sensing earthquakes) or handwriting analysis. You probably already knew that the achievement-oriented cross their ‘t’s up high and the sexually frustrated write small. Take

off your head-torches, nothing interesting here. Sherlock Holmes’ particular method of deduction consists of careful observation and subsequent inference, combined with the elimination of the impossible, to find the truth that remains. While his knowledge of (to name a few) types of tobacco ash, imprints left by tyres, and ciphers are all profound, the principles of logic by which he reasons his conclusions are so goddamn simple. [I need to do a bit more reading to fill this in, but I’m not going to do it tonight]

among others Lucy Liu as ‘Joan’ Watson for an upcoming series. This upsets me for some vaguely sexist knee-jerk reason.

It doesn’t really bear thinking what I offer the Sherlockian eye. Talcum powder in the hair—woke up late, didn’t have time to wash it. Dark circles—malfunctioning sinuses, bad time management. Pinched expression—needs tights hitched up (not a euphemism), hangry.** Something that I will divulge to save us both time is that I think you should read or watch some Sherlock Holmes. In terms of a heads up, the BBC series is the tits. (Yes, I do hate myself for using that expression.) Adieu. I hope you have correctly "...HAVING BREASTS THAT SENSE RAIN IS deduced me to be a mad bint with an eye for an ON PAR COOL-WISE WITH DOGS SENSING arrogant cokehead.

EARTHQUAKES..."

Should you wish to partake, you will find multiple movies, television series, and a rad back catalogue of books. There are some parallels between Holmes and House. There are no parallels between Holmes and McDreamy. CBS over in the States is getting in on the action, casting

*I must shamefacedly admit to rehashing a successful faceboss status in providing this example. If u seek Amy with a frying pan, that was bold. **Scientific term denoting anger brought on by hunger.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

SCIENCE WHATS IT UP TO?

DOING IT FOR BATS

☞ BAS SUCKLING Aside from being associated with one of the most badass vigilantes ever, bats mostly exist under the radar, and are rarely included in the average person’s Top Five favourite animals. However, these night-time marauders have a lot going on, and you should seriously consider rethinking your list. Bats have adapted to a nocturnal lifestyle to avoid the wrath of fierce daytime predators, and also to take advantage of the plethora of tasty night time insects. But how do they manage to hunt moving targets with such grace and such finesse? Instead of relying on their eyes, they use echolocation to make their way in the darkness. Echolocation is a way of interpreting ones surroundings using sound rather than light. By sending pulses of ultrasonic sound, and comparing the outgoing

sound with the returning echoes, the brain and auditory nervous system can produce detailed images of the bat’s surroundings. This allows bats to detect, localize and even classify their prey in complete darkness. If we listen to the clicks of the common brown bat (Myotis), we see that it has an average of ten per second. This means that the image of its surroundings is being updated ten times a second. For us, this would be like having a strobe light on constantly (without the epilepsy), fine for some ordinary purposes, but not suitable for quick movements like juggling chainsaws or catching fleeing insects. It turns out that ten pulses per second is just the sampling rate of the bat as it is on a routine cruising flight. When it detects dinner, the pulse rate increases

CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME SCALPING A few weeks ago, three teenagers busted Member of Parliament Trevor Mallard outside his Naenae office. He had committed a horrendous crime. The media were baying for blood. He had ‘scalped’ concert tickets on TradeMe. The battle began: Trevor took to the airwaves, defending his actions. He had done no wrong: “if they didn’t like it they shouldn’t have bought it”; “it was a private agreement”; hiking ticket-prices was fine because he “knew that they were worth more”. Unfortunately for Trevor, but hilariously for us, he was the very man who introduced New Zealand’s anti-scalping legislation back in 2007. Then a minister, Mallard had said that scalping “can potentially put attendance at major

In 1940, when Donald Griffin and Robert Galambos first presented their discovery of echolocation in bats, they were challenged by military scientists. Radar and sonar (less sophisticated man made versions of echolocation) were still highly classified developments in military technology, and the notion that bats might do something remotely analogous to the latest triumphs in military engineering struck most people as not only implausible, but emotionally repugnant. However, once again it was a case of human engineers developing breakthrough technology, only to find that evolution perfected it long ago. Classic.

If bats aren’t in your Top five then consider adding them, and if you don’t have a Top five "...LIKE HAVING A STROBE LIGHT ON... NOT then make one. SUITABLE FOR... JUGGLING CHAINSAWS..."

C.R.E.A.M.

☞ NICK CROSS

dramatically up to 200 per second as it moves in on its target. Now, rather than seeing a series of updated images, the bat instead has a constantly updated feed, enabling it to perform swift and delicate movements as it hunts. However, these high speed pulses are a large drain of energy, so are only used when needed. When the insect has been caught the bat drops its rate back down to cruise.

events further out of the reach of many New Zealanders”. So which Trevor is right? Does the selling of tickets online lead to a better market, or are sell-out scalpers screwing us over? To answer, we need to look at the basic problem: why are concert tickets so cheap? Trademe has tickets listed for way more than their original cost; and people buy them. So why don’t artists charge more? It’s about the fans. People might pay $200 to go to a Slipknot concert, but they’d be really pissed off and the bands reputation would suffer. That’s a problem, partially because angry Slipknot fans are fucking scary, but also because entertainers are totally beholden to fan loyalty. Eminem, Avril Lavigne and Joey Jordison are all fantastic musicians,

but their chief business isn’t creating a product: it’s creating a culture in which that product has value. Musicians sell love. By the way: leave Britney alone. Concerts are partly tools designed to encourage that loyalty. For that to work, promoters engineer the market to ensure that it’s the committed who win. When selling any product, demand is driven by the wealth of the customers and the benefits they get. By shifting the currency of concert-tickets away from money and towards commitment, musicians stop wealth from mattering: infatuated fans will get the tickets, those who care less miss out. As committed but broke students, we support this, so we think expensive concerts are shit; we get grumpy when scalpers re-engineer the system away from passion and back to wealth. When Mallard hiked prices, he ripped off the bands and he ripped off the committed fans. But there is one group he didn’t rip off: the kids who bought the tickets; if it weren’t for him, their laziness would have denied them tickets. That it was them who caused the uproar is indicative of another basic economic truth: there’s no such thing as a free lunch, but there are many people trying to find one.

EDUCATION

WELLINGTON

♥

☞ ELLE HUNT

STUDENTS?

HEAP RENT, CHEAP DRINK, CAMARADERIE—DUNEDIN IS RENOWNED AS A STUDENT TOWN. IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE WE SAW THE CHARRED REMAINS OF A COUCH ON KELBURN PARADE, BUT DOES THAT MAKE WELLINGTON ANY LESS OF A STUDENT-FRIENDLY CITY? SALIENT CHIEF FEATURE WRITER ELLE HUNT LOOKS AT HOW LOCAL GOVERNMENT AND GEOGRAPHY COMBINE TO CREATE CAMPUS CULTURE.

EDUCATION

"IF YOU’RE GOING TO TREAT DUNEDIN LIKE A SAILOR IN A FOREIGN PORT, THEN PERHAPS YOU WANT TO THINK ABOUT FINDING SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LIVE"

“I transferred to Vic because I didn’t want to drink away my education,” a second-year student, formerly of Otago University, told a Salient staffer in the law school common room last week. Though it’s doubtful that she intended it as such, in the face of a lacklustre O Week (see page 24) and the rising cost of living here in Wellington, her explanation came across as a glowing assessment of life in Dunedin. Its reputation as a student town is the stuff of legends. It’s hard to imagine the potential loss of the Big Kumara inspiring outrage in Vic’s old boys, but the Cook and ‘Gardies’ are watering holes of such cultural importance that Marc Ellis and other bleak New Zealand celebrities stepped in to prevent their closure. Then there’s the street-wide keg parties, the cheap food and drink, rent for less than $150 (or even, it’s rumoured, $100) a week—it’s almost enough to offset the freezing winters.

alongside London as the 17th most expensive place to live in in the world. This is most apparent in the rising cost of rent: those of us who paid around $150 per week when we started our degrees are now shelling out up to $190 for rooms of comparable size and insulation. In fact, recent figures from the Department of Building and Housing put the average rent for a room in Kelburn at $187 per week—more than students can claim in living costs from StudyLink. And though the merits of Dunedin’s student (read: binge-drinking) culture are open to debate, it’s hard to argue with an extra $50-odd per week in pocket. So can Wellington be described as a studentfriendly city?

“I suppose you’ve then got to work out what ‘student-friendly’ means,” says Ian McKinnon, who is both Deputy Mayor of Wellington and Chancellor of Victoria University. “Wellington values students. Whether you look at it in social or economic terms, the tertiary "THERE'S BEEN TOO MANY PEOPLE, BROKEN institutions and the people GLASS. THE FEAR IS THAT SOMEONE'S GOING that make them up—namely, the students—are valued by TO DIE" and add value for the city.” “Dunedin is an incredible place to live As McKinnon acknowledges, students’ as a student,” says Julia Hollingsworth, contribution to the local economy is a Wellington local who gained her BA significant. Statistics New Zealand’s 2006 in Philosophy and Politics at Otago. “It’s census of the Wellington region identified wonderfully cheap—I think it may be 10.3% of the population as being aged one of the few places where you can between 18 and 24, a rise of 0.5% from reasonably live on $160 a week—and the preceding census in 2001. Given around one-fifth of the people who the increasing number of school-leavers live there are students, so everyone’s pursuing higher education, and the balancing studying and partying. reduced capacity of Canterbury University, “Basically, it’s fun, cheap, easy and supercasual.” Meanwhile, students (including Hollingsworth, who is now studying towards a post-graduate diploma at Massey University) are struggling to make ends meet in Wellington. According to The Economist’s 2011 cost of living survey, New Zealand’s capital city ranks

it’s safe to assume this upward trend has continued. Moreover, Victoria University employs close to 2,000 people in the Wellington region. So how is the value that students contribute to the city being returned to them? Well, not in discounted public transport. While buses are free for students and staff of Massey University in Palmerston

North, tertiary students in Wellington aren’t eligible for even reduced fares, meaning a return trip to more or less any suburb costs the best part of $10. For most students, this poses just a minor irritation, for, as McKinnon points out, Wellington’s size means it’s possible to “be at the university and then at a coffee bar in the city within five minutes”, even on foot. Moreover, the issue of tertiary discounts will be up for discussion later in the year with the Greater Wellington Regional Council’s upcoming fare structure review. Changes proposed under the Regional Council’s review of bus services, which is currently underway, are more significant. As part of its bid to optimise services, it is looking to cut the vast majority of routes serving Kelburn Parade, leaving students to leg it up Mount Street to get to class. As 46% of Vic students rely on public transport as their primary mode of commuting, both the University and VUWSA are in the process of making submissions on the review. Greater Wellington Regional Councillor Daran Ponter is also interested to hear students’ perspectives. He explains that transport planners have worked on the assumption that five minutes’ walk is an acceptable distance to travel to the nearest bus stop—in this case, at the corner of The Terrace and Salamanca Road. “I’m really interested to see how students react to that, because a lot of Victoria University is more than five minutes’ walk from that bus stop,” he says. “If you were going to the music school, for example, I would have thought it would be a bit of a push.” Public transport is not so much of an issue in Dunedin, where, Hollingsworth says, “living 15 minutes from campus is living far away." She attributes Dunedin’s status as a student-friendly city to its cheapness and its compactness, neither of which are the achievements of the Dunedin City Council. In fact, according to

EDUCATION Hollingsworth, students’ relationship with the University and the DCC is becoming increasingly fraught, with the Council looking to extend an inner-city liquor ban to the “student-ville” suburbs. “Dunedin has a long history of students versus the University, and students versus the DCC, and each side is just as distrustful of the other.” The appointment of Harlene Hayne to Vice-Chancellor last year, Hollingsworth concedes, suggests of “possible, positive change in the air” in the tense relationship between students and the University. Critic (Otago’s answer to Salient) recently published a photoshoot of OUSA President Logan Edgar horsing around with Hayne—him in a suit, her in a varsity hoodie. Given the professional tone of our interview with him this issue (see page 26), it’s hard to imagine a similar spread showing VUWSA President Bridie Hood chewing the fat with Victoria’s Vice-Chancellor Pat Walsh. (Pat, if you’re

at the civic welcome this year, if you’re going to treat Dunedin like a sailor in a foreign port, then perhaps you want to think about finding somewhere else to live. I want them to feel like Dunedin is their home, and then they can start to think about treating it the way their home.” That this is even a priority for Cull is indicative of a different mindset down south. Though Wellington Mayor Celia Wade-Brown frequently reiterates the important contribution of students to the city, for most, their engagement with the Wellington City Council begins and ends with her traditional welcome at Civic Square during O Week. Even President Hood concedes that she has little to do with the WCC on a day-to-day basis, as she tends to prioritise issues that affect students on a national level. That said, she says she would be “quite keen to work a lot closer with the City Council” on similar initiatives to Cull’s welcome pack for first-years.

“DUNEDIN HAS A LONG HISTORY OF STUDENTS VERSUS THE UNIVERSITY, AND STUDENTS VERSUS THE CITY COUNCIL" reading—we can make it happen. Call us.) 18

Hayne has been taking a hands-on approach to curbing students’ wild behaviour, taking to the front line of Orientation events last month to help remove alcohol. Dunedin Mayor Dave Cull acknowledges that keeping on top of such a large student body—he estimates that students form about a sixth of the city’s total population—is not without its challenges. “There’s the odd problem that turns up... the couch burnings, and the somewhat over-exuberant street parties where there’s a bit of disorder and bad behaviour,” he says, referring to the infamous Hyde Street keg parties. “I think that’s a minority, though another sizeable minority are silly enough to stand around and watch. “But they’re young,” he adds indulgently. One way in which Cull tries to instill new students with a sense of belonging to Dunedin is by providing them with vouchers for cultural and recreational services within the city. This, he says, is intended “to bring them into the community right from day one, rather than have them hiding in a ghetto not knowing what the rest of the city is doing. “It’s about giving them a sense of ownership while they’re here. As I said

The high concentration of students (“some people have said to me that it’s the youngest demographic suburb in the world”), Cull says, means the DCC has a “duty of care” to oversee their goings-on: “You’ve got literally tens of thousands of young people, many of whom are acting out a bit because parental authority is a long way away.” The DCC works closely with Otago University, the police, OUSA, youth groups and students themselves to organise events such as the upcoming Hyde Street keg party, which Cull acknowledges has “got out of control” in the past. “There’s been too many people, broken glass,” he says. “The fear is that someone’s going to die.” More than 7,500 people (out of an invited 14,043) claim to be ‘attending’ the 24 March event on Facebook, and Cull is hopeful that it will be a great success, noting that OUSA has “done a wonderful job” in organising port-a-loos, barbeques, water stations and volunteers. “Ultimately, it’s up to the students, and particularly the residents of Hyde Street, to come up with a model that they can do year after year, where everyone has a great time.” For better or worse, it’s difficult to picture such an event being held in Wellington. Indeed, last year, now-MAWSA president Ben Thorpe’s attempt to organise a Wellington equivalent to the Hyde Street keg party in Mount Cook was thwarted by the council and police.

EDUCATION Deputy Mayor McKinnon says students in Wellington “haven’t adopted some of the extreme behaviour of those at some of the other universities” because of the city’s “pepperpot” demography. “We all live together,” he says. “It’s not as though students’ only neighbours are other students. I think that acts as a bit of a check. You know what people are like—if they can get away with it, they’ll go a bit further, a bit further, and eventually the sofas get burnt.” Cull agrees: “The intensity and concentration of students in Dunedin probably leads to issues that wouldn’t be evident in a place where they were scattered over the whole city.” Another reason, continues McKinnon, is the city’s “vibrancy”. “This city, without any qualification, is the leader in staging events, and they’re all right on our doorstep,” he says. “There’s so much to do in Wellington, students don’t need to sit there in the middle of The Terrace and burn sofas.” (Which brings to mind Hollingsworth’s remark, “Dunedin people are good at creating their own fun.”) In addition, a number of Victoria University students have set their sights on a career in the public sector, and fears of ruining their chances of employment in future make them think twice about any youthful indiscretions. “People that are going into that sort of career path, whether they’re lawyers, economists or arts graduates, are surrounded by their future career,” says McKinnon. “The public sector’s right here, and their studies are right here, so they’re conscious of that and they don’t want to completely undermine their futures.” The difference in campus culture at the two universities suggests that Victoria is perceived as a training ground for the real world, and Otago, as an escape from it.

“THERE’S SO MUCH TO DO IN WELLINGTON, STUDENTS DON’T NEED TO SIT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TERRACE AND BURN SOFAS.” “It’s kind of a little bit of everyone here,” says Hood. “Why else would you go to Dunedin, if not to party?” But there are advantages and disadvantages to both. For Vic students, the trade-off for a vibrant arts and entertainment scene, and the chance to pass oneself off as a young professional in the public service sector, is a high cost of living. The upshot of Otago students’ fight for their right to party is their sense of camaraderie with each other, and their relationship, however fraught, with their city council and university. It’s not that Wellington isn’t as much of a student town as Dunedin; rather, it just attracts a different kind of student. VUWSA and the Greater Wellington Regional Council are holding a forum in SU 218 from noon this Tuesday to discuss the current Wellington Bus Review and the upcoming Wellington Fare Structure Review. Regional Councillors Daran Ponter and Paul Bruce will be in attendance to discuss the changes currently being proposed by the GRWC, which will have a dramatic impact on the bus services two all Victoria University campuses. ▲

EDUCATION

WE ARE THE

UNIVERSITY: ☞ SAM OLDHAM

HERE WAS SOME DISCUSSION LAST YEAR IN THE NATIONAL MEDIA AND COMMENTARY BLOGS ABOUT A REBIRTH OF STUDENT ACTIVISM HERE IN NEW ZEALAND. UNIVERSITY CAMPUSES AROUND THE COUNTRY SAW SIT-INS, OCCUPATIONS AND LARGESCALE PROTEST MARCHES AGAINST THE ONGOING AND INTENSIFIED CORPORATISATION OF OUR EDUCATION. AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AUCKLAND, A SERIES OF MILITANT STUDENT OCCUPATIONS SAW TWO STUDENTS ARRESTED, AND CULMINATED IN AN OCCUPATION OF THE UNIVERSITY CLOCKTOWER THAT PROMPTED THE MOBILISATION OF OVER FIFTY POLICE OFFICERS. Here at Victoria, sit-ins and occupations have been revived. Readers may have seen or visited the peaceful ‘Box City’ occupation of the Murphy overbridge last year. Students here have had their own experiences with repression also. Scenes of VUW Campus Care security guards brutalising students at a 200-strong protest in the administration building last year can be found on YouTube. New Zealand students are angry. We pay some of the highest fees in the world, the quality of our education continues to be degraded, and we are excluded from any involvement in university governance or decisionmaking. All of this is part of a global trend towards greater corporatisation of higher education. Running universities like corporations means several things. It means transferring the cost of education from the state to students by burdening

PAST AND FUTURE us with astronomical debt. New Zealand has the seventh-most expensive tertiary education in the OECD. That means students here pay more for tertiary education than Chilean students (many of whom spent much of last year being tear gassed and water cannoned in their fight for free education). Corporatisation also means cost-cutting. In the past four years students here have watched administrators axe their Gender and Women’s Studies department and sack the staff; the Film School go to the guillotine only to be saved by a sustained protest campaign endorsed by Peter Jackson himself; the gutting of SLP funding (which pays for tutorials); several members of staff in the Humanities sacked, including two highly esteemed members of the International Relations faculty last year; the internationally recognised, and only Crime and Justice Research Centre in the country axed; the closure of the Certificate of University Preparation (CUP) course; 29 library staff sacked and the list goes on. At Canterbury, 350 academic and general staff will be sacked over the next three years. All of this is a result of reductions in Government funding and a funding model that pumps money into more popular courses at the expense of those less popular. And of course, corporatisation means no democracy for students. Appointed bureaucrats, paid handsomely by the state (the Vice Chancellor at Auckland University has a salary pushing $700,000) make decisions regarding our education. The ‘student consultation’ process is a farce, as is meaningful

student representation in university governance. Under corporatisation, Government is the board of directors, university administrators are managers, and we are the raw material. Yet there are students who refuse to be processed as raw material in a factory. Much of the protest activity on campuses around New Zealand last year was coordinated by a new and organic student movement calling itself We Are the University (WATU). Non-hierarchical, politically diverse and action orientated; WATU represents a movement of students tired of life-long debt and increasingly sub-standard education. The idea of free tertiary education sounds utopian to some. In fact, it existed here until 1989, and continues to exist at hundreds of the most prestigious universities around the world. New Zealand even has a free polytechnic, the Southern Institute of Technology, that ranks relatively high on the scale of quality tertiary providers nationally. All over the world, in countries where governments and bureaucracies are forcing people to pay exorbitant amounts of money for education, there are students fighting, sometimes dying, for free education. In 2012, the struggle against corporatisation and for free education will continue here at Victoria, and the seeds of a national student movement continue to germinate. For more information or to become involved, go to wearetheuniversity.org.nz or search We Are the University (wgtn) on Facebook. ▲

EDUCATION

THE

CASE AGAINST

☞ NICK CROSS

EDUCATION

ESPITE NEW ZEALAND PUBLIC SPENDING ON TERTIARY EDUCATION AS A PERCENTAGE OF GDP BEING WELL ABOVE THE OECD AVERAGE, I HAVE ONLY EVER HEARD CALLS TO SPEND MORE. WE ARE TOLD THAT MORE EDUCATION IS THE PATH TO WEALTH AND PROSPERITY, AND ONLY THE SHORT SIGHTED WOULD DISAGREE. THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT THE EDUCATED SUCCEED IN THE MODERN ECONOMY, BUT SOMETIMES I CAN’T HELP BUT THINK MUCH OF THAT PUBLIC MONEY IS BEING POURED DOWN THE DRAIN IN THE NAME OF NONEXISTENT BENEFITS TO SOCIETY. LET ME EXPLAIN. One thing that is hard to admit but obvious when you think about it is that much of what you learn at school is utterly useless in real life. Do you use the second language you aced to get NCEA credits? If so, will you remember how to in five years time? What about the Shakespeare texts, poetry, geography, history and calculus, how much of that can you recall, let alone put to good use? For most readers the answer will be very little: we absorb information like sponges to pass tests and then wilfully forget. As a law student one thing that I often hear from those practising law is how little they use any legal knowledge gained at law school.

One popular theory is that this doesn’t matter, education is really the mental equivalent of going to the gym, it teaches us ‘how to think’. This sounds intuitive but the evidence says otherwise. The Collegiate Learning Assessment—an American study—compares skills such as critical thinking, complex reasoning and writing of students before, during and after university attendance. It finds only very modest gains in all skills. A whole academic field called ‘Transfer of Learning’ exists to study the dependence of performance on prior experience and it generally shows little evidence of being able to apply skills learned in one specific subject to others. Evidence also shows that whilst university can temporarily boost intelligence indicators such as IQ, there is a ‘fade out’ effect which totally eliminates any gains after a couple of years.

could earn more anyway because they are naturally more intelligent and hard working, but choose to attend university for the student lifestyle, the enjoyment of learning and the social pressure to go. Backing this up are studies showing that by simply controlling for IQ, the college wage premium drops by up to 40%.

Another is that by studying we are ‘signalling’ our pre-existing traits to employers: traits such as intelligence, conformity and contentiousness. According to the signalling theory what really matters is not the learning but the qualification. Signalling theory explains a lot of typical student incentives and behaviour. Think about why it might be that students celebrate, rather than complain, when a class is cancelled. The university is basically taking away a service from us without a refund, shouldn’t we be upset? But this also means there is less material "...PUBLIC MONEY IS BEING POURED DOWN to learn, so we can get the THE DRAIN IN THE NAME OF NONEXISTENT same qualification with less effort. The problem from BENEFITS TO SOCIETY." society’s perspective is that, But if this is true, why do graduates earn while signalling is useful for employers more on average than non graduates? and benefits the individuals who can Doesn’t this fact alone prove that send the signal, it's not worth anywhere university is making us smarter and near the billions we invest in the name more productive? No, and there are of building human capital. Readers explanations as to why. The first is that interested in learning more should follow there is an ‘ability bias’ within those American economist Bryan Caplan. ▲ who choose to attend university: they

EDUCATION

WHAT

HAPPENED TO YOUR

O WEEK?

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS MGMT?

☞ OLLIE NEAS & ASHER EMANUEL

N 14 NOVEMBER 2011, THE UNIVERSITY APPROACHED VUWSA WITH A PROPOSED CONTRACT FOR ORIENTATION 2012. IT WOULD BE ANOTHER THREE MONTHS BEFORE IT WAS SIGNED AND O WEEK COULD FINALLY BE ORGANISED. IN THOSE THREE MONTHS, O WEEK WENT FROM A FESTIVAL THAT WOULD BE, ACCORDING TO VUWSA, “THE FLAGSHIP SOCIAL EVENT OF THE YEAR” TO AN EVENT DESCRIBED BY ONE STUDENT AS “ONE OF THE WEAKEST O WEEKS YET”.

EDUCATION

In the week leading up to the start of university, the Hunter Lounge played host to dubstep duo Mt Eden, the routine Neon Toga Party, and UK rapper Roots Manuva. Two of these events sold out— the latter was “well attended” but, Salient

Maguire “started lining [up] some amazing acts ... excitement start[ed] to build.” Possible acts included Shapeshifter and Homebrew. In September, controversial voluntary membership legislation (VSM) passed, ready to take effect in January 2012, constricting VUWSA’s expected revenue streams. "...THE UNIVERSITY EXPECTED VUWSA TO Suddenly the Association PROVIDE THEM WITH ALL THE INFORMATION required assistance from NECESSARY TO PLAN AND RUN FUTURE O WEEKS the University to adequately fund O Week. Negotiations WITHOUT VUWSA’S INVOLVEMENT." began. reporters noted, predominantly by nonThe first contract was proposed on students. Those who were in Wellington the 14th of November. It was not the week before term began, like most signed. With the terms unsatisfactory hall students, were fortunate enough to to VUWSA, the contract underwent be able to attend the two musical acts repeated revisions. One month later, still available. For many returning students, no contract signed and no end in sight the second week offered only a B-grade for negotiations, key sponsors–including New Zealand comedian, and the a large telecommunications company– hypnotist returning from 2011’s event. withdrew financial support. In the dying “O Week lineup announced—students disappointed”, wrote VUWSA Treasurer William Guzzo on his now-defunct blog, Treasuring You, following the orientation announcement. More to the point than Guzzo, students commenting on Facebook described O Week as “horribly underwhelming”; “[a] bit shit”; “so shit”, and “Very. Very. Tame”. One student wondered, “Were the Wiggles busy?”

Many students were thinking back to the orientation of 2011, which, just 12 months prior, had been lauded by many as the best O Week in the country. Comprising five evening-time live music events—including US indie group MGMT and well-established hip-hop group De La Soul—as well as a toga party, numerous daytime musics events, a hypnotist and a comedian (then, Dai Henwood), it seemed VUWSA had finally figured out how to run a successful orientation. Barely an eyebrow was raised when VUWSA promised to “grow and build upon the successes of O Week 2011”.

days of 2011, a new draft contract was delivered to VUWSA and new President, Bridie Hood. By January, this remained unsigned. Guzzo noted: “University still stalling. Mark now unable to get big bands due to not having any money to give them, as the University kept mucking VUWSA around.” Shapeshifter, an act initially courted by VUWSA, had by now doubled its price; it was no longer an option. But

Hood, who attributed the three-month delay to the Christmas and New Year period. However, in documents released to Salient by the University, following an information request pursuant to the Official Information Act, it appears one clause in particular was the source of the delays. Clause 7.4 states: “VUWSA must provide all of the records referred to in clause 7.3(a) which relate to a particular stage of the project to VUW upon completion of each stage of this project.” The records in question, per clause 7.3(b) should be such to “enable future use, provision and/or support of any infrastructure or any other works, goods or services implemented or provided by VUWSA by any competent service provider or VUW’s properly trained technical staff, without further reference to VUWSA.” In short, the University expected VUWSA to provide them with all the information necessary to plan and run future O Weeks without VUWSA’s involvement. Such information amounts to years of accumulated planning resources, institutional knowledge, market research and the efforts of numerous executives and staff. In return, the University would provide just $30,000—less than one quarter of the expected cost of this one O Week. Such a request seems unreasonable. Indeed, the University ultimately retracted its demand. Surprising, then, that it took as long as it did to resolve. The University, however, refused to comment on the nature of this protraction and, furthermore, withheld copies of modified contracts proposed over this period, for reasons of commercial sensitivity. Bridie Hood too did not offer comment.

"THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 2011 AND 2012 WAS STARK. DID VUWSA FUCK THIS ONE UP?" then, on 8 February, three months since the beginning of negotiations, a contract was finalised. Guzzo’s blog records: “the University finally sorts itself out”. There were only 19 days until O Week was to begin.

The difference between 2011 and 2012 was stark. Did VUWSA fuck this one up?

This course of events raises many questions. Why did VUWSA refuse to sign the contract in the first place? And if the differences were reconcilable, as events have revealed them to be, why did it take three months?

According to Guzzo, planning for O Week began in “mid-2011”. Soon after, VUWSA Association Manager Mark

Neither VUWSA nor the University were willing to explain why negotiations took so long, except for current President Bridie

However, VUWSA Treasurer William Guzzo explained on his blog: “the University [became] painstakingly bureaucratic ... people politics [got] in the way.” Guzzo’s description is not unique. An individual involved in negotiations, but unwilling to be named, described negotiations as a “complete fuck around”.

EDUCATION

Negotiating on behalf of the University was Campus Services, the organisation responsible for the delivery of most non-academic services. Emails released to Salient under the OIA indicate the primary contact for negotiations was Associate Director Rainsforth Dix, Victoria University’s authorised signatory on the contract. According to Bridie Hood, the negotiating position set down by Dix was at the behest of the University’s Senior Management Team (or SMT), comprised of the ViceChancellor, Deputy Vice-Chancellors, Pro Vice-Chancellors and senior operations managers. Hood explained to Salient that she and VUWSA were told by Dix that the requirements in the contract were “what SMT wants. This is the line [SMT] have drawn.” Apparently, Dix was just the messenger. But strangely, Salient was informed by the University solicitor as part of the official information request that there was no written communication between SMT and Campus Services administrators regarding O Week, nor were there any minutes from SMT meetings pertaining to Orientation. It seems odd that such a significant matter would come to pass without any written documentation. The accounts provided by the University and VUWSA seem irreconcilable. From where the controversial clause came remains as unclear as the rest of the process. We cannot know precisely who is responsible for the “people politics”. And likewise, we cannot know who in fact deserves our credit for hard work in pursuit of a credible O Week in the face of this politics. Student activist group We Are The University claim in the most recent issue of The Student that Dix has a “history of hostility towards student groups”. The situation becomes increasingly unclear in the light of 2011 VUWSA President Seamus Brady’s comments to Salient that the lengthy negotiation was due to “miscommunication” that

could be ascribed to the ineptitude of the University. Regardless of whether it was Campus Services or VUWSA at fault, “people politics”, or miscommunication, came at a high price for students: that of a quality O Week. At issue is not simply a trivial week of parties. The quality of Orientation is indicative of the University’s appreciation

This is not the case: it seems President Hood’s experience was almost unique. In a late-January email to one University administrator Hood revealed she was “really nervous and anxious” as other universities began releasing their line-ups. By contrast, Otago University Students’ Association President Logan Edgar told Salient that negotiations with the University were “mint, aye”.

"...THIS OUTCOME IS AN EMBARRASSING FAILURE..." of a holistic student experience. The events play a key role in familiarising new students with the culture of their new home, as well as providing a vital opportunity to meet with their peers in a social situation before term begins. In an interview with Salient in 2011 on the role of students’ associations, Chancellor Ian McKinnon acknowledged the same: “students... are entitled to a good student experience at Victoria—that is, access to social... opportunities”. Given that McKinnon identified “the student experience [as] a combination of the university and the students’ association working together”, this outcome is an embarrassing failure of both a University committed in its strategic goals to an “outstanding ... social and cultural experience”, and of a students’ association that set out to “deliver the most amazing social experience of 2012”. The presence of the confidentiality clause in the service contract allows both VUWSA and the University to remain silent about the nature of negotiations—reflecting a complete lack of accountability to students. Perhaps this outcome was predictable. With the end of compulsory membership, and the attendant guaranteed revenue stream and political mandate, the negotiation position of students’ associations has been thoroughly weakened. Maybe our O Week was one of many casualties across the country.

They must have been: Otago’s O Week featured Shapeshifter, Shihad, David Dallas, Home Brew, P-Money & PNC, Dai Henwood, Bulletproof & Jessie G, Cairo Knife Fight, Knives at Noon and King Kapisi. In January, Unitec too announced their lineup: Shapeshifter, Katchafire, 1814, Kidz in Space. Even Waikato University had over 25 organised social events, one of which was mysteriously entitled the ‘Vodka Cruiser Conga Line’.

As disappointing as Orientation might have been, what remains most concerning is what these negotiations signal about the future relationship between the University and studentgoverned organisations. There has been a shift in the balance of power. In a time where the Association has chosen to become reliant on funding contracts organised by unaccountable University administrators, there can be little hope of future events being organised for students, by students. We should wonder who is better placed to organise events such as these: an elected representative body consisting of current students, or ageing University bureaucrats? While the one loser across the board is the student, nobody is willing to take responsibility. President Hood went as far as to assert that the problems that had arisen in this negotiation would not be issues in the future. When Salient asked why this was the case, Hood would not offer further comment. The answer, she said, was confidential. ▲

EDUCATION

WHY

ARE YOU

☞ DOC WATSON

EVEL WITH ME, CHAMP. WHAT REALLY BROUGHT YOU TO UNIVERSITY? BECAUSE IT WASN’T FOR THE FAME, THE GLAMOUR AND THE BITCHES. I ASKED THIS QUESTION TO VARIOUS PEOPLE AT UNIVERSITY AND GOT SWORN AT FIVE TIMES. MORE COHERENT ANSWERS INCLUDED “TO FURTHER MY EDUCATION”, “I DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING I LOVED”, “I KNEW I WAS GOING FROM THE OFF” AND I SWEAR THIS LAST ONE IS TRUE, “BECAUSE I’M ASIAN”. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we all had that kind of self-assurance? To simply have the drive to pick a career path, plough through it and end up with a beautiful job and matching hubby to sleep with every night. For the common everyman, this plan becomes unhinged at step zero. Most of us don’t know where to begin. And that is why the predominant answer of students that I received boiled down to “where else am I going to go?” University allows a student to go wherever their studies fancy them. That’s the beauty of the establishment. For the hard worker, this is an opportunity to dabble in whatever subjects you need to excel in your field. Sickeningly on the flip side, you have a vast proportion of undergraduates using this dabbling experience as an excuse to postpone the inevitable quarter-life crisis. I’ll wager that is why my first year of university was

HERE?

tempered by such a chilled atmosphere: in my eyes, no one really knew what on Phil Goff’s tuffed nipples was going on.

The phenomenon of ill-directed teens has been on the steady rise of late, and university becomes their stalling tactic until they find something they like. Let’s assume that they complete their degree with a piece of paper that says they can do a lot of bumkiss really really well. That’s about $30,000 splurged by a student on study that doesn’t do shit. This isn’t out of pocket, mind—this is borrowed off Mr. Key’s national credit card. And even if someone eventually decides on what they are going to do

than wins, I know how tough it is to go through a year and not find a direction. If you can’t find a practical, non-contrived reason for you to be in a particular course of study, you may have to accept that university isn’t where your qualifications are. But that isn’t a bad thing. Training and apprenticeships are holding more stock than university degrees are these days, and people are still trying to prune out the idea of prestige that surrounds a university education. If ‘prestige’ means you sit in the same Law lecture as a backwards-cap toting 50 Cent and still consider it to be the top echelon, you’re a long way from Levin. That’s the nicest way I can

"IF ‘PRESTIGE’ MEANS YOU SIT IN THE SAME LAW manage to tell you to get out while you still can. Let me LECTURE AS A BACKWARDS-CAP TOTING 50 CENT dust off the sugar coating AND STILL CONSIDER IT TO BE THE TOP ECHELON, with some cold, moist, socio-political truths. More YOU’RE A LONG WAY FROM LEVIN." with their life, the simple truth is that university doesn’t hold the same allure to employers as it does to the students. There is an exception to this rule on occasion, e.g. the doctors who take a look under your hood every so often. But for the most part, the closest a BA graduate will get to writing a bestselling novel is if 12 exceptionally portly Americans show up at Denny’s. As someone that has been through his first year and come up with more losses

kiddly-winks in university equals more money poured into student loans. This leaves the Government at a loss, leading to budget cuts. Education is always first on the chopping blocks by some backwards Alabama logic, and potential students get rejected as a result. Some of these could have be the next Oscar Wilde or Katherine Mansfield, turned down so an Irish bootlegger could read Shakespeare. Seriously, if you don’t know what you are here for, fuck off. Amscray. You’re making the rest of us look bad. ▲

EDUCATION

SITTING

ducks 26

“SOME PEOPLE TALK IN THEIR SLEEP. LECTURERS TALK WHILE OTHER PEOPLE SLEEP.” ALBERT CAMUS.

☞ FAIROOZ SAMY

ECTURES ARE THE STANDARD BY WHICH MISERY AND BOREDOM ARE MEASURED. FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS—AS EARLY AS 1360—UNIVERSITY STUDENTS HAVE BEEN FORCED TO BE PASSIVE SPECTATORS IN THEIR OWN EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCE, DESPITE CRITICISM THAT LECTURES LIMIT ACTIVE PARTICIPATION AND ARE INUTILE AT INCREASING LEARNING. MOST UNIVERSITIES HOLD LECTURING SACRED, BUT AS SALIENT FEATURE WRITER FAIROOZ SAMY DISCOVERED, NEW ALTERNATIVES ARE GRADUALLY RISING FROM THE CRACKS.

Though colleges are unwilling to do away with the cornerstone of academic teaching, they can’t deny the appeal of technological progress. Instead of overhauling centuries of traditional communication, a middle ground between active learning and lecturing was found by incorporating online technology. It began modestly, with ‘virtual lectures’ that allowed students to watch professors’ presentations from any location, at any time. In 2012, we’ve moved on to virtual note-passing via Twitter, class blogs, and Facebook study groups. There’s evidence that these types of changes have improved learning, but like any deviation from the norm, they take time and experimentation. When Dr. Dalton Kehoe, a communications studies professor at York University, began taping his lectures from his desk, student enthusiasm

hit an all-time low. After realising that his talking-heads method of teaching was just as boring on video as it was in person, he incorporated humorous Youtube clips at 20 minute intervals during live lectures. His students commented that the bite-sizing of lecture topics mixed with the internet “laugh breaks” helped to hold their attention and make the material absorbable. Kehoe’s success has inspired others at YU to merge technology with instructing. Dr. Diane Zorn includes interactive exercises in her online “minilectures”, asking students to search for relevant information and carry out specific online tasks in the middle of her lecture videos. This, she says, prevents students from falling back into bad lecture-bred habits. “Passive learning is even worse online than in the classroom. At least in the lecture hall there are people around

EDUCATION

you that if you fall asleep, someone can give you a nudge”, adding that students “want to discover things on the internet themselves”. Salient asked the Centre for Academic Development (CAD) whether the winds of technological change had been blowing through VUW. The CAD is a unit that aims to improve the quality and effectiveness of education at Vic through professional development in teaching

were dramatic—the test group did more than twice as well as the control group, and their attendance improved by 20 per cent. When surveyed later, most students said they preferred deliberate practice.

However, one successful trial isn’t going to set the educational world alight or compensate for its deficiencies. For one thing, deliberate practice began life as a weapon in the arsenal of performing arts schools, and its lack of scholarly integrity doesn’t sit well with the academic community. For "...NO ONE WANTS TO BE THE GUINEA PIG another, deliberate practice FOR METHODS THAT CONTRADICT 700 YEARS has only been useful in the scientific and mathematical OF EDUCATIONAL THEORY" disciplines, which already and research in to higher education. They have hands-on components. They deal told us that the University has recently with facts and absolutes, so the proverbs implemented an electronic lecture of learning by doing and practice making response system to help academics perfect are guaranteed to pay off. Can make their lectures more effective and it mould to the abstractions of the engaging. Additionally, they pointed out humanities? Blackboard, our very own online teaching Sort of. The older, more sophisticated and learning environment, which has sibling of deliberate practice is peer been improved though the addition of instruction (PI), otherwise known as the interactive blogs, podcasts, and voice flipped classroom. PI was the brainchild boards—even if the features are yet to of Harvard professor Eric Mazur, another catch on. But the gospel of technology is disciple of active learning, whose not without its critics. students—supposedly the brightest The first dissenting camp argues that technology is only a temporary solution that masks the fundamental problems of passive learning and one-way communication. The other sees it as a distraction which cheapens the revered pursuit of intellectual achievement.

Deliberate practice is a subset of experiential learning. Basically, it swaps lectures for tutorial-style classes, where the material is learned before the lesson, and the students are split into small groups to discuss and solve a problem. The lecturer then spends the time facilitating discussion and answering questions. Thanks to recent exposure in the New York Times and The Economist, deliberate practice has been gaining traction. Most of the good press comes from an experiment headed by Nobel Prize laureate Carl Wieman. 12 weeks into a science course Wieman’s team divided the class in two, leaving one half to continue with lectures and putting the other half through deliberate practice. During the experiment, the teachers were able to see common points of confusion and provide immediate feedback whenever students got answers wrong. After a week, both groups were given a test on the same material. The results

young minds of America—were failing dismally, despite his polished lectures and practised delivery. The breaking point came halfway through a lecture when he asked the students who had grasped the concept to explain it to the peers around them. Three minutes later, most of the class were back on track for the first time in weeks. And voila—PI was born. From its humble beginnings in 1991, PI has grown in to an applicable method of active learning. The logic

Peer Instruction is similar to Deliberate Practice in that its crux is communication between students about material learned before class, and the lecturer acts as an arbitrator and guide. Yet, the main differences are that PI works just as successfully within the social sciences as it does in applied sciences. With a longer and more proven track record than deliberate practice (the fad du jour) students’ critical thinking abilities are enhanced and their methods of perceiving the information are bettered. PI hasn’t resonated as well with new students who are just as resistant as conservative deans to ‘investigational’ learning styles. With rising tuition costs and a shaky job market, no one wants to be the guinea pig for methods that contradict 700 years of educational theory and require them to put in more work. Additionally, PI has no place in university-literally. Each of the thousands of lecture-hall spaces in the world were built with the sole purpose of focusing attention on the person at the podium, an inconvenience that’s unlikely to change. Despite the hurdles, PI and methods like it have slowly infiltrated the lecture halls of Ivy League schools, thanks in large part to their bloated ‘experimental teaching’ budgets (Harvard’s is currently $40 million). This is not an option for VUW. Though the CAD’s Dr. Irina Elgort is adamant about the need to “explore and adopt new ways of teaching and learning that take advantage of research into best practice in higher education and of technological innovation”, she does not believe that teaching modes will change drastically in the near future.

Aside from the costs and she "TECHNOLOGY IS ONLY A TEMPORARY SOLUTION unconventionality, thinks that “the key is in THAT MASKS THE FUNDAMENTAL PROBLEMS..." providing the infrastructure and support to academics behind it reasons that students have to who want to implement innovative personalise new information in order to non-traditional learning and teaching truly understand it. When other students approaches, and reward and acknowledge ‘teach’ each other, the roadmaps of them for these innovations.” At VUW, their understanding are still fresh, or this translates into “having flexible as Dr. Mazur puts it, “you’re a student teaching and learning spaces, technology and you’ve only recently learned this, so support behind academic initiatives, you still know where you got hung up, professional development that increases because it’s not that long ago that you staff capabilities and, importantly, a were hung up on that very same thing. strategic vision of Victoria as a University Whereas Professor Mazur got hung up that promotes and values teaching and on this point when he was 17, and he learning innovation.” ▲ no longer remembers how difficult it was back then. He has lost the ability to understand what a beginning learner faces.”

EDUCATION

PAT WALSH:

VC OR 28

GC ?

SALIENT CHATS TO YOUR VICE CHANCELLOR. HE FAILS TO SERVE TEA.

☞ MOLLY McCARTHY

E WAS THE SMILING FACE ON THE INSIDE COVER OF YOUR PROSPECTUS WHEN YOU FIRST DECIDED TO GO TO UNIVERSITY, AND HIS SIGNATURE WILL ADORN THE BOTTOM OF YOUR DEGREE WHEN YOU FINALLY GRADUATE. BUT DESPITE PAT WALSH’S PRESENCE AT THESE LAND MARK POINTS IN EVERY VICTORIA STUDENT’S UNIVERSITY EXPERIENCE, YOU’D BE HARD-PRESSED TO FIND A STUDENT THAT COULD DESCRIBE EXACTLY WHAT IT IS THE VICE-CHANCELLOR DOES, LET ALONE WHO HE IS. APPOINTED TO THE ROLE IN 2005, WALSH ADMITS THAT, AS AN UNDERGRADUATE, HE HIMSELF “WAS ONLY DIMLY AWARE OF THE VICE-CHANCELLOR, IF THAT, TO BE HONEST”.

EDUCATION

"OH YES." Born and bred in Christchurch, Walsh began his tertiary education at University of Canterbury in 1971, where he obtained an undergraduate degree in History and Politics, carrying his course of study there on to Masters level. For his PhD, Walsh ventured further afield to the University of Minnesota. Returning to New Zealand, Walsh eventually wound up at Victoria University as Professor of Human Resource Management and Industrial Relations in 1999.

really significant unemployment in New Zealand for a long time, so there wasn’t the same degree of angst about ‘Will I get a job?’ It wasn’t that they didn’t worry—of course they did, but there wasn’t the same career motivation driving your choice of study. It was easier for people to feel comfortable about pursuing things they were interested in. What were some of your best memories of being a student?

Being in the last cohort of students who studied at the old site in the city... It was a very magical place because of its architecture. It was very compact; it covered, essentially, one large city block, so you were very crammed in together— even more than we are here. It was old gothic architecture, it was PARENTS WERE VERY SUPPORTIVE OF a very striking place to ME GOING TO UNIVERSITY." study in.

From an initiation to the tertiary sector through his naïve days of student life, Walsh now divides his time between his many commitments tied up with his role as Big Boss of Victoria University. With each meeting-filled day starting with a

"MY

stint at the gym, and usually closing with some description of social event, it’s fair to say that Walsh’s diary probably puts most students’ social lives to shame. Intent on finding out a bit more about this mysterious character, Salient writer Molly McCarthy infiltrated the ivory towers to chat to Pat about student life, secret passageways, and why he’s carrying out the role of VC like a GC. Why did you decide to go to university and choose the course of study that you did? I decided to go to university because I think I understood that it offered opportunities that I wouldn’t otherwise have. I came from a family where... it was not common to go to university at all. I had an uncle who had done a law degree back in the 1930s, and I don’t think any of my other extended family had been to university. It was quite a big decision, but my parents were very supportive of me going to university because they saw education as a way of opening up opportunities. In terms of the course of study I did a BA in politics and history, because those were the things that interested me. I was not inclined—whether rightly or wrongly—to take a vocationally or professionally-ended degree. I think I thought that those things would take care of themselves later. Of course it was a different time period. I started university in 1971, and at that time there’d been no

It was even closer to the city centre than we are here at Kelburn... So there was very easy access to—not that there was the same cafe and restaurant scene, but there were the pubs, and plenty of things to do if you were a student. Was there an equivalent of the Big Kumara in Christchurch? No. That was a different time period. [chuckles] In your role as Vice-Chancellor, what are you doing to ensure that students enjoy a good experience like you did? Well, we’ll give them an even better experience! (Students are paying more for it than I did.) On a number of fronts—one is on the physical structure of the university. Because enrolment numbers have grown from ten or twelve years ago, we were probably around 12,000, now we’re up around 20,000, that’s put huge pressure on facilities. We’ve had to really expand the facilities... we’ve put a lot of emphasis

the time that I’ve been Vice-Chancellor, because government funding has continued to decline in terms of the real value of the funding we receive per student. We’ve had to do things differently, and do things smarter. ...the review of undergraduate education, which the first stage of was last year, started to think about what kind of undergraduate learning experience we offer students... We had wide-ranging and high-quality input from students for that review... this year is the year for thinking about what we’re going to do with it, and what changes we might make. I think that’s quite exciting, potentially, for everyone, including students. Were there O Weeks at University of Canterbury when you were there? Oh yes. Were they similar to the O Weeks we have at Victoria now? They were similar and different... It was a week of enjoyment and fun, but precisely the way in which it happened was different. There wasn’t the same focus on bands and gigs happening on campus. There was, I remember, a ball at a very large auditorium, I think it was actually the King Edward Barracks, and so there was a band there, but not on campus—that partly reflected the nature of the campus. The emphasis was similar, in that it was an introduction to university life, you still had all the things about there are these clubs, there are these societies, you might be interested in this—so that was the same, but the way in which parties and social events happened was different. But they still happened. Similar, but different. Salient’s heard a rumour that you have a walk-in wardrobe and a secret passageway in your office...

It must be very secret! Oh! Walk-in wardrobe? Oh! There’s a little thing in there, which, if you look in, "OF COURSE, STUDENT EXPERIENCE IS REALLY you’ll see it’s an absolute ONLY AS GOOD AS WHAT GOES ON WITHIN THOSE mess. It’s where things get dumped. There are some FACILITIES." boxes filed in there... And if on improving the facilities for students. there’s a secret passageway, it’s a secret But of course, student experience is really from me. ▲ only as good as what goes on within those facilities. It’s been a real challenge, certainly in

EDUCATION

TEACHERS TEACHING

TEACHERS

TEACHER TRAINING ISN'T WORKING

☞ RENEE GERLICH

‘O

N AN AFTERNOON PASCAL SHOWED ME HOW TO BUILD A SIXINCH TALL HOUSE... HE PLANTED UPRIGHT TWIGS IN THE DIRT... HE BUILT THE TWIGS INTO WALLS WITH A STURDY BASKET WEAVE OF SHREDDED BARK... HE SPAT IN THE DIRT TO MAKE RED MUD... IT STRUCK ME WHAT A WIDE WORLD OF DIFFERENCE THERE WAS BETWEEN OUR SORT OF GAMES—‘MOTHER MAY I?’, ‘HIDE AND SEEK’—AND HIS: ‘FIND FOOD’, ‘RECOGNISE POISONWOOD’, AND ‘BUILD A HOUSE’. AND HERE WAS A BOY NO OLDER THAN EIGHT OR NINE... ...I BIT MY LIP AND LABOURED ON MY OWN SMALL HOUSE UNDER THE GUAVA TREE, BUT BESIDE THE PERFECT TALENTS OF PASCAL, MY OWN HANDS LUMBERED LIKE PALE FLIPPERS ON A WALRUS OUT OF ITS ELEMENT. MY EMBARRASSMENT RAN SCARLET AND DEEP’ – Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible

Victoria University’s graduate diploma in primary teaching is under scrutiny from inside and out. It is struggling to reconcile the more prescriptive requirements of the Education Ministry with current theory regarding best teaching practice. This is a problem: we need well trained teachers now more than ever. The teachers’ union knows there is a problem with our education system—they protested until blue in the face over National Standards last year. Yet I would argue that the potential for enhancing the quality of education does not lie in the antagonism between the union and the Ministry. Nor does it lie in the capacity

EDUCATION

for individual school teachers to go above and beyond an already demanding call of duty. Our biggest opportunity to enhance the quality of mainstream primary education lies in teacher training. Victoria’s education faculty harbours the potential for a pioneering graduate programme, if only it would marry policy and theory in its design, rather than pit them against one another.

the paycheck. So it is that almost every lecturer outside literacy or math becomes an evangelist simply by virtue of their marginalisation. Alongside are papers regarding educational psychology and Maori education, emphasising that Maori children are being failed by the system, and how they in particular must be taught through the holistic methods listed earlier.

One recurring theme in lectures is empowerment—or mana, "...IF ONLY IT WOULD MARRY POLICY AND tino rangatiratanga, self THEORY IN ITS DESIGN, RATHER THAN PIT efficacy, confidence and power. These terms are THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER." each associated with On paper, the programme design theorists’ paradigms. The word ‘power’, prioritises national standards subjects for example, is William Glasser’s, who and policy. Yet the content delivered claimed that a learner’s four needs are: emphasises best practice theory: power, freedom, fun and belonging. teaching through strong relationships, While important, this kind of content the local community and environment, sees the programme swing like a for creativity, relevance, conceptual pendulum between aspirational rhetoric understanding, health and innovation. The and prescriptive training. Is it radical to result is that throughout the year, trainees suggest that my human ‘needs’ include are crowded into boxy rooms listening water and food, shelter, medicine and to lecturers begging them to teach clothing? Is education regarding the outside the box. Rather than resulting in a meeting of those needs not essential marriage of policy and best practice, the to sustainable development, and programme design and content work at empowerment? cross purposes. In an age screaming blue Statistics suggest that overall, mainstream murder about sustainable development education in New Zealand is not and underskilled youth (and with a ‘empowering’: not enabling socioUN goal of Education for Sustainable economic mobility or freeing families Development) mustn’t we build teachers’ from the perils of poverty, poor housing capacity to facilitate skill building, rather and preventable disease. The cycle than just edu-babble? continues if it produces teachers who are Lengthening the programme would not amount to an improvement without a transformation of its current framework. The grouping of subjects bears little relation to each subjects’ current directions or self-definition. The programme’s first semester is reserved for desk-based Math and Literacy. One explanation I’ve encountered for the grouping of Science, Technology and Social Studies in semester 2 is that they’re all ‘constructivist’ (perhaps we are living in Russia circa 1920?). Arts, Languages, PE and Health probably have as much idea of why they are lumped together as a bunch of backpacking hippies in a squashed caravan. Watching the Arts (there are four), Languages, P.E. and Health paper flash by is like watching a series of prisoners in a firing line each given half a minute to plead for their lives. Every lecture is an ode to its subject, a desperate attempt to make trainees see to its core before they flag it from their curricula in the interests of the 3 Rs, which bring in

not supported to facilitate skill-building and agency in the face of this. Without wanting to load the world’s problems onto their overworked shoulders, teachers play

or prescriptive) teaching. Put into practice, these have the potential to positively influence a globe in protest over its wealth gap and addictions to oil, monoculture and exploitative labour; a first world experiencing an ADD epidemic amongst children; and a country with high rates of youth suicide, poverty, unemployment and teenage pregnancy. Or, at least to facilitate the empowerment of many young people who may otherwise feel helpless in the face of all of this. One main obstacle to an effective programme is the crisis in which tertiary education finds itself worldwide: contemporary study in education undermines common university teaching models. It suggests that lectures and exams don’t teach—education lecturers, then, are fated to a catch-22. Or are they? If lectures don’t teach, why do I love so many of them? Why can conferences be so transformative, and why is TED.com such a raving success? The University of Minnesota Rochester recently opened in the U.S. with a progressive no-lecture policy, yet it has a high dropout rate. Change needn’t be radical or reactionary. There is no need to sacrifice the economy of one great speaker addressing an audience on a point of universal relevance. Optimising any curriculum design involves reconciling best theory with a reality including time, budget, policy and space constraints.

Students can do much to improve courses: answering feedback forms constructively, rather than politely, for example, supports a faculty "...STUDENT PROTEST IS THE HISTORY OF to discover its strengths SYSTEMS UPDATING SO THAT THEY CONTINUE TO and weaknesses. The history of student protest SERVE PEOPLE, AND NOT VICE-VERSA." is furthermore not one of gratuitous antagonism: students hold arguably society’s most important role. a rare, valuable and powerful position Indeed, when we think about the needs of in society that can be harnessed to its ‘developing’ countries, we often consider benefit. They are actively engaging with the education system to be the logical the most current theory and increasingly starting point for positive transformation. able to compare it with the structures There is something about considering in place in their lives. They have no job ourselves ‘developed’ that perhaps makes description to constrain them in critiquing us a little more complacent. these structures. The history of student protest is the history of systems updating You may have seen Ken Robinson’s viral so that they continue to serve people, video Changing Education Paradigms. and not vice-versa. It is promising that our NZ Curriculum, bicultural policy, aforementioned UN That’s what universities, that’s what goal, and theory regarding best practice students, are for: keeping our policy, support the kind of changes Robinson institutions and systems, including our suggests: holistic, participatory and education system, as current as our creative (rather than linear, standardised theory and research. ▲

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M US IC

☞ RACHEL BRANDON

BON

IVER ☞ HARRIET CAMPBELL One never knows what to expect when the front man of the sold out show (a show you spent a week’s rent on) comes on stage looking as though he has spent the last six months in the wilderness. Seeing someone who could out-indie any local kid in the room was a sight to behold; the music he made was, likewise, a sound to behold.

impressive live, hitting every note with an ease that would make any eunuch jealous. But we know how high his voice can go–on this night, it was his lower vocal register, emphasized infrequently on recorded material, which really showed off the range he is capable of.

Vernon’s bandmates provided him with able support, most of them playing a couple of instruments across the night– complex combinations of percussion, saxes, trumpet, synth, keyboard, guitars violin. It’s hard to believe "...IN THE CROWD’S SILENCE, YOU BECAME and no two members, all of EERILY AWARE OF THE FACT THAT THE PERSON whom were introduced by name and American state, BEHIND YOU WAS ACTUALLY BREATHING." hailed from the same place, EP, illustrating why they deserved the a testimony to the many hours of practice 2012 Grammy Awards for Best New that must have been required to achieve Artist and Best Alternative Music Album. such a tight ensemble. Vernon’s famous falsetto was even more Justin Vernon and his nine-piece band form the spectacle that is Bon Iver. Their near two-hour set encompassed songs from both albums and their first

PERFECT HAIR FOREVER

That said, the highlight of the night was unambiguously Vernon’s solo song, 'Re: Stacks'. After expressing his delight at the intimacy shared by the band and the crowd, despite their geographical and experiential differences, Vernon poignantly described 'Re: Stacks' as a song about being alone. The air was electric as he commandeered every fan’s full attention; in the crowd’s silence, you became eerily aware of the fact that the person behind you was actually breathing. This tender moment, however, was offset by plenty of songs utilising the ostentatious drumset, lighting sequences, and full harmonies available with the nine-piece band and touring tech support. A well deserved standing ovation left the band gushing, “we will never forget this show”. Neither will we, Bon Iver. Neither will we. and The Surfaris; artists that emphasised strong guitar solos and ‘good times’ over lyrical depth—at the very least, WAVES of F.E.A.R. is filled with the same alternate picking solos and wet reverb as used by those masters of the wave.

However, this isn’t just nostalgic aping of the classics. Every note echoes in what seems to be a cavernous recording studio, and the vocals sound more like WAVES OF F.E.A.R. pained moans than calls to the beach, ☞ ADAM GOODALL unintelligible save for repeated lyrics like “watch me die” in ‘Being DEAD is Perfect Hair Forever, an Auckland You know that song 'Misirlou'? The one Dick COOL’ and “baaaaaaaaaad” in ‘B.A.D.’. ‘pop crud/surf’ band with a name that Dale did that you probably heard in Pulp The EP’s naming scheme (other tracks Fiction? probably infringes on an Adult Swim are called ‘The forest will get you!!!!!’ copyright, take their cue from classic Well, how about 'Wipe Out'? By The Surfaris? and...um...’Misty island’) backs up this How about that one? apparent modus operandi. "PERFECT HAIR FOREVER ARE SETTING Imagine seven minutes of that, drenched Perfect Hair Forever are THEMSELVES UP TO SOUNDTRACK THE BEACH setting themselves up to in reverb, punctuated with shrieks, and sounding like it was recorded in a soundtrack the beach party PARTY AT THE END OF THE WORLD..." warehouse. That’s what the latest EP at the end of the world, from Perfect Hair Forever, WAVES of when the sirens ring out loud and the red instrumental surf rock bands like Dick F.E.A.R., is like. waves churn, and they’re doing a pretty Dale and the Del-Tones, The Bel-Airs' damn good job of it.

T HEAT RE

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INTERVIEW WITH RICHARD MEROS AN

(AND HIS ABLE SIDEKICKS)

☞ NEAL BARBER (THEATRE EDITOR) PREVIEW: Richard Meros Salutes the Southern Man BY: Arthur Meek & Geoff Pinfield ADAPTED FROM: the book by Richard Meros. STARRING Arthur Meek. DIRECTED by Geoff Pinfield. I sit in the deserted foyer of the theatre, while the ticking clock counts off the seconds before I am to meet 'The Man'. Suddenly, I hear passions crescendo through a resounding triumph of a monologue. The director’s ejaculation—an eruption of anarchic yawpishness—crowns the glory of a perfect moment. The quiet business of rehearsal continues, as the passing traffic remains blissfully ignorant of the scene of triumph within. I wait. The waiting turned out to be the calm before the storm. Once the spigot was removed and the beer flowed, I was inundated by a torrent of twaddle. Yet, somewhere amongst the dross lay a seed; even though you know there is very little truth in what you are hearing,

you are endeared to the speaker, and their earnestness makes you begin to believe them—albeit against your better judgment. Richard Meros presents for you a “seemingly anachronistic, sort of throw-back really. An Alpine philosopher who doesn’t even have a name, let alone a hashtag.” This philosopher is the answer to all our social and economic problems. We first met Richard Meros in the smash-hit of 2008: On the Conditions and Possibilities of Helen Clark Taking Me as Her Young Lover. Now, he is four years older, four years wiser, and—we assume—four years longer in a Speight’s commercial. He has realised “the way for us all to become happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise is to take a few of these rural, Alpine philosophers’ nuggets of wisdom and give them a little 21st century twist.” Much like Baz Luhrman, he will dispense this wisdom…now. Richard Meros Salutes the Southern Man has the bells and trappings of Helen A Play about Love took as its central provocation a relationship between a girl who makes snow globes and a stationer who jots ideas—including copying out text messages—on post-it notes. The programme states that the production started out as facts, but ended up as fiction. However, the facts remain at the heart of this touching piece.

PLAY ABOUT

LOVE ☞ NEAL BARBER (THEATRE EDITOR) DESIGNED, WRITTEN, & PERFORMED BY: Hannah Banks, Kate Clarkin, Uther Dean, William O’Neil & Paul Waggot. “I don’t want a new paragraph. I want to turn a full-stop into a comma.”

The audience takes the role of “you”—half of the relationship acted out on stage. The actors then take turns playing both the role of the stationer and acting as our surrogate for portions of the action. However, the cast lets us play our role with subtle, clever use of direct address. For instance, two actors simultaneously play the lead role and tell us about the first time they said they loved us. Our response? Nothing; as an audience, we

Clark but takes them to the “next level.” He assures me his show is “1 hour of machine-gun logic with grotesque overuse of PowerPoint (nuclear-PowerPoint ®).” Indeed, Meros was in on the ground-floor of stand-up PowerPoint presentations—even if some pretenders such as TED and various recent Fringe productions will have you think theirs are better. I am left in no doubt that Meros, Meek and Pinfield (his able sidekicks) can create awesome theatre. Even though they inundated me with over half an hour of what basically amounted to a “really good yarn,” I would pay just to see them sitting on a stage shooting the shit. But then, Richard Meros Salutes the Southern Man promises to be so much more. That is, in the words of Meros’s refrain: it “takes it to the next level.” RICHARD MEROS SALUTES THE SOUTHERN MAN PLAYS AT BATS, 8-10 & 13-17 MARCH, 6.30PM. TICKETS COST $18/$14. sit, dumbly staring into the face(s) of the person who has just expressed their love for us, unable to reciprocate. Like the subject matter, A Play about Love is not perfect. At points the intellectual discussion of love descends into banal didacticism; discussions that attempt to intellectualise the emotion often fail. Yet, the earnestness and intensity of feeling the cast bring to both the formulation and performance of this project makes it a sweet, touching, heartwarming piece. A PLAY ABOUT LOVE RUNS FROM 6-10 AND 13-17 MARCH AT 8PM. TICKETS COST $18/$13 A longer, more comely review will be on the Salient website later this week.

ALSO ONLINE ▶ Ryan Brown-Haysom reviews Space Bitches

THIS WEEK

▶ Jonathan Price reviews Babylon

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BOOKS

INTERVIEW WITH

PAUL THOMAS SALIENT’S BOOKS EDITOR KURT BARBER INTERVIEWS PAUL THOMAS ABOUT HIS NEW BOOK DEATH ON DEMAND.

☞ KURT BARBER (BOOKS EDITOR)

Salient: You’ve said in previous interviews that you consider Ihaka to be a ‘loner’ figure, one who is separated from society but gets involved in situations that aren’t really his business. These are fairly popular character traits in fiction, so what do you think makes Detective Ihaka stand out? Paul: Well you’re absolutely right, and it’s been a characteristic of characters in popular fiction going all the way back as far as you want to go really. You went through the cowboy to the private detective, and you’ve now got the maverick cop I suppose, to use the term, because private eyes simply can’t do what they used to do. My view of Ihaka is relatively uncomplicated: I think he has unusual attributes that make him very effective at what he does, coupled with human failings that probably make him relatively appealing. And he’s got a sense of humour which is obviously another thing in his favour. Salient: Right, sure. So you make him a bit more human than the norm? Paul: Yeah, the hero in any kind of action scenario obviously has to be able to look after himself, has to be able to stand up in the face of intimidation and violence and so forth. They’ve got to have certain physical attributes. But I’ve tried to couple that with a character who doesn’t conform to the traditional, highly disciplined, serious minded hero figure— someone who is pretty loose in his private life and behaviour, and whose personal life is a bit of a mess really. And I guess

that coupled with the humour, was a nice contrast with his other attributes. Salient: So why did you decide to come back to Ihaka after so many years? Paul: It was a combination of things really; I never intended to back off him for as long as I did. I wrote three novels in a particular style—I guess you could call them sort of comic crime novels, with quite elaborate plots and far-fetched scenarios—and I guess I just wanted to do different things, so I did, and one thing lead to another and I ended up taking a lot longer to get back to Ihaka than I’d first intended. And I guess that along the way I started to become more interested in writing about realistic situations and

novel was really trying to put together a crime or thriller to work with a comic novel, and I guess you’d say that Death on Demand is much more traditional in the sense that it's... I mean I’d like to think that there’s still humour in there, but it’s not the situational and black humour that you had in those early books. Salient: So how much of yourself do you see in Ihaka? Paul: None whatsoever *laughs*. No, I don’t have any pretensions to being an action hero, and I’m probably more careful with what I eat and drink than Ihaka is. Salient: Was there any pressure in coming back to such an old character? Paul: I suppose you always wonder whether people are still interested, or whether they still remember him, and certainly the earlier novels were republished as a trilogy a year or so ago, and that was helpful in terms of bringing Ihaka back in people’s minds. I had a pretty good sense of the character so I didn’t feel it’d be difficult to recapture him, and the only pressure really was wondering whether the sort of novel I wanted to write now would appeal to people who liked the earlier books, because as you said it’s different—there’s a different tone and a different style. So that was always a question. But again I didn’t dwell on that too much, I just got on with it.

"...COUPLED WITH HUMAN FAILINGS THAT PROBABLY MAKE HIM RELATIVELY APPEALING." how comparatively ordinary people who would regard themselves as good people can get into messy criminal situations so it took me a while to come up with a story that worked on both levels if you see what I mean. Salient: Yeah, because Death on Demand’s got a very different tone to the previous Ihaka novels. Paul: Yes it has. In the first book the tone is very detached, and ironic; and those stories are obviously not meant to be taken entirely seriously. I mean, the names of the characters are a bit of a giveaway. And a lot of the characters are quite extreme—even grotesque—and the

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FILM

suspense levels is astonishing, making a relatively complex story captivating.

TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY ☞ GERALD LEE DIRECTED BY Tomas Alfredson Spy thrillers are curious beasts. All too often, they contain nonsensical plots and characters that are nothing more than crude caricatures. Luckily, Tinker Tailor Solider Spy manages to avoid such perils. Brilliant performances from a cast of British luminaries are complemented by Alfredson’s accomplished direction to form a cinematic treasure. Centred on the search for a Russian mole within British intelligence, the film is saturated with suspicion and mistrust. Smoke and haze permeate every shot,

EXTREMELY

LOUD & INCREDIBLY

CLOSE ☞ ADAM GOODALL It’s easy to underestimate the impact of September 11 on the American filmmaker. We can point to United 93 and World Trade Center and (spoiler alert) Remember Me and say, “this is how American cinema deals with 9/11” and leave it at that, but that would be a ridiculously reductive way of analysing the imprint that day left on America’s cinematic discourse. For example, the prevalence of foundfootage cinema can be traced back to the importance of the footage sourced from bystanders with cellphones and video cameras on that day (Cloverfield even directly references 9/11 in its images of Manhattan under siege); similarly, many post-9/11 action films act out fantasies

symbolic of a world where motives are obscured. The film’s depiction of the world of espionage is stark, debunking the romanticism peddled by James Bond-

Unsurprisingly, the cast is uniformly excellent, though the standout is undoubtedly Gary Oldman. His low-key, yet evocative, portrayal of George Smiley serves as the audience’s anchor to this chilling world. He shows us that Smiley is not driven by ideological devotion, but rather a feeling of duty and necessity. Oldman’s performance is not one of melodramatic flourishes. Rather, he favours a more intimate and subdued take on the character. My only complaint is that, with such a well-crafted build-up, the final reveal proves a little underwhelming. The 'mole' can be identified relatively easily, which makes the finale feels slightly predictable. However, this is a minor fault as the final scenes certainly don’t lack for intrigue. Regardless, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is an exceptional film that expertly interweaves intriguing ideas with a gripping tale of subterfuge. Alfredson transfixes us with an intelligent yarn that constantly leaves us guessing about what is to come. Simply put: this is a master class in intelligent, yet thrilling filmmaking.

"...DEBUNKING THE ROMANTICISM PEDDLED BY JAMES BOND-TYPE MOVIES." type movies. Sets are sparse, characters are unsentimental, shots are tight. As alliances shift with alarming regularity, we remain constantly on edge, waiting with bated breath for the next twist. Alfredson’s meticulous control of the

"...IS A BLUNT AND OSTENTATIOUS EVOCATION OF of American triumphalism against ‘terrorists’ or forces AMERICA’S TRAGEDY..." analogous to terrorists in horrible tragedies for the price of one. ‘revenge’ for their threats to American Meanwhile, his mother sits at home, security, be that in Iron Man or wringing her hands over her fractured Transformers or The Kingdom. The relationship with the boy. shadow of the World Trade Center As suggested by its title, Extremely Loud lingers so subtly over so much of modern is a blunt and ostentatious evocation of American cinema that it’s no surprise America’s Tragedy; ‘subtlety’ might as most people don’t notice it at all. well be a foreign language here. Every You will, however, notice that shadow emotion is heightened, every music cue over Stephen Daldry’s latest, an is a soaring crescendo, every close-up is adaptation of the Jonathan Safran Foer extreme, every montage is slick and rapid, novel of the same name. Extremely every reference to 9/11 is signposted Loud & Incredibly Close follows a and exploited for maximum emotional young, probably-autistic boy (in one impact. The film even appropriates the scene, the boy explains that he was sparse, tragic image of the Falling Man tested for Aspergers but the diagnosis and ‘rewinds’ it, showing him falling up was ‘inconclusive’, the film gracelessly into the building and, in the process, avoiding any obligation to be sensitive capturing the American public’s disbelief about child autism from there on) as he at the attack in the crassest way possible. runs around New York, investigating a There’s some heart to be found in the key he found in the closet of his father, wounded performances of Max von who died in the WTC on that day. The Sydow, Jeffrey Wright and Viola Davis, boy is accompanied by an old man whose but it’s a heart that’s smothered by past traumas have left him unwilling to the film’s grating lead (young gamespeak, the film sneakily alluding to the show victor Thomas Horn) and by its Holocaust and giving the viewer two aggressively manipulative presentation.

✏ ARTS ✏

VISUAL ART S

CRUSHING

CREATIVITY

☞ ROBERT KELLY (VIS. ARTS EDITOR) In his TED Conference talk, Sir Ken Robinson tells a story about a girl drawing in a dedicated fashion at a kindergarten. While she is working away, a teacher strolls over and asks her student what she is drawing. The young girl replies, “I’m drawing God”. The teacher is baffled by this, and tells her that she can’t do that because no one knows what God looks like. According to Robinson, the girl simply turned and said, “they will in a minute”. Robinson’s point is that children have an innate creativity that can manifest itself in a plethora of unexpected (and often unwelcome) ways.

Children’s art is often dismissed as being generic and repetitive, like the house with two outrageously large windows. However, this is reductive–kids create work with no preconceived rules about what art is supposed to be. Like the little girl drawing deities, children are capable of operating outside of the walls which

we adults build inside our own minds, walls to define what is allowed and what is not. The Latin root for the word education is educare, which translates as “to bring out what is within.” If this principle still stood as a fundamental part of modern education, then this spark shown in young children would be uniformly sheltered, allowed to flare up and endure.

The classroom environment works to put in place the rules we need to function within a modern civil "...CREATIVITY DOES SET YOU APART, BUT IT society, but it also works to regulations that are DOES SO FOR EVERYONE, AND THIS IN TURN instill unnecessary, perhaps even CREATES A HERD OF ORIGINAL SOULS." damaging. Picasso said that, “all children are born artists, Despite all the excellent attributes that the problem is to remain artists as we our education system has, there is an grow up”; the education system is one of enduring culture of discouraging certain the greatest obstacles between us and habits by punishing ‘mistakes’. Therefore, that end. A wide range of artists and approaches are exhibited, addressing the medium in unique and forward-thinking ways; a way of making this exhibition an easy and accessible starting point for newcomers to contemporary art, as well as an exhibit attractive to the seasoned experts. Its educational slant was indeed made more apparent by the high-school students touring the gallery while I was there: “What do you think the artist is trying to say here?” indeed. The show is accompanied by fluorescent flashcards introducing basic sculptural concepts, as well as ring-bound sets of essays on each artist involved.

THE OBSTINATE OBJECT ☞ MORGAN ASHWORTH The Obstinate Object, the current exhibition occupying most of the City Gallery, explores the place of sculpture and its ‘object-ness’ in New Zealand’s contemporary art practice.

over a sustained period of time, children are inoculated with the ideology that originality equates to being outside the herd. In essence, originality is dangerous because it’s not the norm. The irony, of course, is that creativity does set you apart, but it does so for everyone, and this in turn creates a herd of original souls.

Perhaps the work most likely to appeal to the general public is David Cross’ Lean, essentially a giant bouncy castle, but it’s art. Seriously though, it’s fun, go in it! Also exhibited are three works by Scott Eady, an artist known for pieces that explore interactivity–for example, his 100 Bikes Project shown at the Dowse in 2011, where one hundred bikes and tricycles were restored for children to play on in the gallery. The work Ivan (Kick Me) is a gooey-looking ball on the "...MOST floor of the City Gallery’s

foyer, bearing a small paper note: ‘Kick me’. Disappointingly, it is roped off, preventing the interactivity on which the work relies. Throughout the rest of the gallery, light and sound are explored alongside formal sculptural concerns, with one standout being Alex Mackinnon’s A Deaf Piano. The work provides the aural experience of a wall of speakers projecting ambient noise, as well as visually-pleasing sculptural form of the aforementioned materials. The many strands of wire linking the stereos with the speakers recall the messy linearity of Sian Torrington’s installations elsewhere in the gallery. Pleasingly, an article discussing Scott Eady and some of Maddie Leach’s work is in the current issue of Art New Zealand, expanding upon the new directions sculpture can take while still remaining focussed on ‘the object’. A visit to The Obstinate Object, as well as consideration of some of its surrounding textual matter, is highly recommended.

LIKELY TO APPEAL TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC IS... A GIANT BOUNCY CASTLE..."

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L A I T N E D I S PR E ADDRESS

“WHERE’S THE UNIVERSITY?”

☞ BRIDIE HOOD Amidst the large numbers of new students at the Big Play Out during New Students Orientation, a student approached me to ask a question before she started living the best years of her life. “Where’s the University?” The iconic Hunter Building and other significant structures at Kelburn Campus sit on the hill overlooking the capital. They’re large enough to host a respected tertiary institution that will set people up for a life and career that is more likely to be better for them and their community than if they didn’t. Sure, it’s amusing to think that somebody didn’t know where the University is. But take a moment to remind yourself what it was like to take your first steps at this university as one of its students—for many, the experience was daunting and overwhelming. The first year student who asked me that question has every chance to go on to be a leader in her field, but the only reason why is that she has access to this University. We recognise as a society that university education is both a private and public good, which is why the funding model for your university involves your individual contribution and a contribution from the government. Access is important. Why? Because if this is a public and private good, then we accept that having a greater number of people benefiting from a quality tertiary education has

good consequences for the individual, for society, and for our economy. That’s why politicians wax lyrical about the benefit of a university education. If you’ve heard any politician address a crowd of students they will always acknowledge this. But here’s the sad reality: successive governments have consistently underfunded the tertiary sector for decades.

But she would be right to question him on this. Underfunding impacts her hugely, as it does for every single student. It threatens the quality of the education that we receive.

Less money means fewer resources. That corresponds to higher student to lecturer ratios, reducing individual student to staff contact time. New Zealand enters into the losing end of a funding gap between us and other countries, meaning that "...HERE’S THE SAD REALITY: SUCCESSIVE we find it harder to attract GOVERNMENTS HAVE CONSISTENTLY international academics and UNDERFUNDED THE TERTIARY SECTOR teachers.

FOR DECADES."

The student who asked me where the University was has probably introduced herself to debt, so a good next question to ask is ‘what am I getting from this university?’ If she asked Steven Joyce, the minister responsible for tertiary education, about what she is getting for her debt then she’d likely get the response that students got at a recent conference. “The New Zealand student loan system is one of the most generous in the world so we should probably keep our heads down about asking for any more in this current economic climate.” Keep your head down, embrace your debt, and just get on with your study. There’s a dear.

It means less money going toward the support services that are proven to contribute to our university’s student retention and completion rate. Less funding means that specialised disciplines are discontinued. Underfunding affects you directly. VUWSA works hard to make an economic and social case to sufficiently fund your education. We also do this so that others get the same opportunity of access that you have had. Because when students work out where the university is and start doing the work, they deserve the best that they are paying for. That makes for a merrier, smarter, more productive, and innovative society and economy.

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TREA$URER ☞ WILLIAM GUZZO I’m not the typical VUWSA executive member. I’m no student politician and I am highly pragmatic. I’m just an average student. So, why would someone like me join VUWSA? Because I think it is important. In fact, I think it is vital that VUWSA survives in a voluntary environment. So why is VUWSA important? It’s not because we at VUWSA give away free bus passes, run orientation, and so forth; it’s because we unified voice for students—people like you and I—to the University and to the general public. New Zealand’s education system has become all too familiar: we go to university and get a student loan, finish our degrees and go into a $40,000 per year job, and then spend eight years trying to pay it off. But in our minds it didn’t start like this– we wanted to be change-makers. We 38

REPRESENTATION & SERVICES ✋

wanted to make our mark on the world. We wanted to make the world a better place. University, before it became a job factory, was a place filled with passionate intellects, a place where the rules could be broken and a place where the basic assumptions we face on a daily basis could be challenged. Every innovation we see around us is based on this: challenging basic assumptions and breaking the rules. It was a place where we could be inspired, and not just to earn more money and have a successful career, but a place where our innermost views could be challenged. The point I am really trying to push here is that we all have three-to-five-years where the majority of us have hardly any responsibility. During this time, we have a rare opportunity to partake in the student community and gain an excellent, inspiring and challenging education that enables us to grow into world changers. As student representatives, we have the opportunity to sit on Faculty Boards and to sit on University Council and shape our education, influence what we are taught, decide who we are taught by and what we want to get out of it. As a student, you are in a position of privilege

and owe it to others to feed back into the university system and the student voice. While working VUWSA stalls at New Students’ Orientation, students have come up to me wanting to know what VUWSA is, and why it is important. Here it is: if you want to shape your education into something that inspires you, that challenges you, that helps you to be a better citizen; join VUWSA. Make your voice heard in 2012–get involved. Join a club, become a class rep, write for Salient, even just come to the VUWSA office and share your opinion. If you want to discuss anything further, email me. Every student is different, and the real power of VUWSA is that it unites our differing opinions and thoughts into one powerful catch-all voice. 04 463 7406 ✆ PHONE: ✆ MOBILE: 027 8448905 ✉ EMAIL: treasurer@vuwsa.org. nz ☞ WEBSITE: www.vuwsa.org.nz

STUDENT HEALTH GET IMMUNISED! BECAUSE IMMUNISATIONS SAVE LIVES Thought you had all the immunisations you need when you were a baby or while you were at school? Umm, wrong. Immunity from some vaccines weakens over time and to maintain protection booster shots are required. At different times in life we are more at risk of developing certain vaccine-preventable diseases. It doesn’t matter how young, strong, beautiful, intelligent, politically aware or creative you are, these vaccinepreventable diseases are capable of making you extremely ill; potentially permanently damaging you or even killing you. Some vaccines are especially recommended for young adults living in shared accommodation such as Residential Halls and flats. These are Meningococcal C, Measles and if you have not had chicken pox the Varicella vaccine. You may also require a booster for Pertussis also known as Whooping Cough.

In recent months there have been 15 cases of Measles in the Wellington Region including a student from Victoria University. To be fully protected from measles you need to have two doses of the MMR (Measles, Mumps and Rubella) vaccine over the age of twelve months. One vaccine which is recommended every year is the influenza vaccine. Bonnie Leung (22) was young and fit and studying medicine at Auckland University when she developed influenza caused by the HINI (swine flu) strain of the virus. Bonnie spent two and half weeks in intensive care and almost died from this serious disease. It took her a year to fully recover. “I hadn’t really thought about vaccination before because I was rarely sick. But now I realise anyone can catch influenza and it can be devastating.”

FREE INFLUENZA VACCINES FOR STUDENTS AT VICTORIA UNIVERSITY

The nurses from the Student Health Service will be visiting Residential Halls in the early evenings and holding lunchtime clinics on the Karori, Te Aro and Kelburn campuses throughout March. The vaccine will be free. Clinic times and locations will be advertised on our website and around campus. The clinic at Karori will be held on the 15th March. The clinics on the Kelburn campus will be held in the Student Union Building during the week of 19th March. Students on the Pipitea campus can be seen at the SHS clinic in the West Wing of the Wellington Railway Station. The influenza vaccine is also funded by the Ministry of Health for people with long-term health conditions such as diabetes, or people with asthma who take a preventer inhaler. If you are unsure if you need any more immunisations talk to the friendly and knowledgeable doctors and nurses at the SHS. We can advise you about which vaccines we would recommend for you.

✋

REPRESENTATION & SERVICES ✋

to correctly apply what we learn. Wisdom gives us the ability to see purpose in what we learn. When the first Christian missionaries came to Aotearoa they taught Maori how to read and write. They did this by sharing with Maori their most sacred document the Bible—they even translated the Bible into Maori.

NGAI TAUIRA EDUCATION WITH PURPOSE

☞ ANDREW DONNELLY As tauira we hope that what we are being taught has purpose. What is the purpose of algebra? I know many of us have asked this question. It is not uncommon to look at what we are taught and think of it all as just knowledge; whether it is useful or not. What we need to realise is that knowledge is only part of education. Knowledge without wisdom can lead us into a life of nothing; we need to know how

The Western world had plenty of knowledge, the missionaries felt it would be better to keep Maori from obtaining this knowledge, therefore they didn’t teach them English. Not because they wanted to hold them back, but to teach them how to live morally sound lives—to teach them principles that would allow them to prosper. They showed it was possible to teach Maori without taking away their language. The missionaries had a purpose. They kept it simple and as a byproduct taught Maori how to read and write. They went to a lot of effort to teach Maori. It takes a lot of commintment to learn a new language, they even had to create a written form of the language and to learn the culture that goes along with

it. We can learn something from this today. How much effort do we put in to understand the people around us? How willing are we to share what is sacred to us? I know of a couple of people who were studing Maori last year that were from other countries. They faced a problem when trying to learn; they were made to feel left out. I know these people had a desire to learn about our culture, yet because they were foreign they were not allowed in. For us to grow as people we need to learn, but we also need to share. This gives purpose to our education. It’s not only about gaining—knowledge, when we share what we know it becomes wisdom. As we share as a community each one of us becomes stronger and each of us learns how to live with one another. When we learn about the needs of others we can put the extra effort into building up the areas in which they lack. When we share ourselves we bring people in and we give them a place they can call home. NGAI TAUIRA ELECTION OF OFFICERS IS COMING UP AT TE HERENGA WAKA MARAE ON WEDNESDAY THE 21ST OF MARCH 2012 AT 6PM.

☞ WEBSITE www.ngaitauira.org.nz for further details.

BENT ☞ JIMMY JANSEN (MAWSA QUEER EXECUTIVE - UNIQ MASSEY PRESIDENT) Dearest Victoria Students, I know we have had our differences in the past. But I come to you now, as the Massey University Wellington Student Association (MAWSA) Queer Executive and the el presidente of the Massey University UniQ group with an olive branch. Kia ora! My name is Jimmy and as mentioned above, I am from UniQ Massey! Though Massey Wellington is substantially smaller than Victoria, we are extremely proud of our institution and all the successful colleges within it. The colleges of creative arts, design, fine arts, business, communications, health sciences, nursing and others make up what is available to study at Massey. MAWSA is an engaged and diverse body of people dedicated to the welfare of our students. Right, enough preaching! UniQ Massey shares the same ideology of UniQ

Victoria. We are a social support network for “queer students” on campus, a group dedicated to the welfare of everyone under the blanket term; “queer” including gay, lesbian, transgender, intersex, takataapui, fa’afafine' asexual, bisexual and any straight people who wish to join us! As far as we are concerned, everyone is welcome! A fairly new group, we enjoy regular coffee dates and the occasional drinks, nibbles and the odd movie together. It’s such a lovely way to get to know each other! Considering the new political climate within student associations (thank you very much VSM), our clubs, like your clubs are in danger! UniQ, as a collective, is such an important feature of New Zealand student lifestyle, we have to survive! As we all share similar, if not identical ideals, collaboration would be an excellent strategy. Something to consider.

Massey UniQ would just like to say to you “Hello! Yes, we are here!” We look forward to getting to know you all and celebrating who we are together! And don’t forget, you crazy cats–UniQ’s first meeting of the year is on Thursday 15 March, 5.30pm, SU218: a great chance to touch base, have your say about this year’s LGBT activities on campus and meet like-minded students in a welcoming, supportive environment. At 5.30pm, we’ll have pizza, socialising and general frivolity, at 6.30pm, we’ll hold our IGM where we elect our 2012 executive and update our constitution, and at 7pm we’ll do the same for the brand spanking new group on campus–The Girls’ Group. See you all there! ✉ EMAIL:

uniqmuw@gmail.com

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

THINGS

YOU ALREADY KNOW BUT JUST NEED

TO BE TOLD 40

YOU’RE AN IDIOT. BUT THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS ONE TOO.

☞ UTHER DEAN (CHIEF SAGE) We get so attached to our ideas and beliefs. They sit inside our head, right inside us, just behind our eyes. They are part of us. That’s why it’s so hard to take criticism. When someone picks at your ideas or thoughts or opinions, it’s not just abstract knots of thinking that they’re dissecting, it’s you.

will see it as a sign of weakness and hold it over you.

This is, of course, most obvious in arguments or debates, but if you’re trying to argue a point with someone who immediate writes off your whole argument because you concede one Every time someone knocks an obvious detail, then you’re not going to get hole in something you’ve said it hurts. It anywhere anyway, so you might as well hurts because, well, you feel like you’re just consider them a lost cause from the outset. Also, if you are one of those people, you really "YOU HAVE TO OWN YOUR need to think about the IGNORANCE JUST AS YOU OWN deep vortex of insecurities within yourself that has lead YOUR AREAS OF EXPERTISE." you to the point where you feel someone admitting an idiot. Because you are an idiot, but their fallibility is something that should be you already know that. You just need held over them. to remember that that’s okay because None of this is to say that you should just everyone else is one too. roll over and absorb all backtalk that talks You have to own your ignorance just back to you, you just have to develop a as you own your areas of expertise. better set of skills to deal with and accept Admitting that you are wrong is hard. But it than just saying either ‘I’ll think about it has to be done. No one worth listening that’ (because of course you will, you to is going to look down on you if you just are a conscious being, you can’t help but say “You’re right” or “I didn’t know that.” think about things) or just saying ‘Yeah’ Yes, there are scumbags out there who and filing the feedback under things

to burn the sleep out of your brain at 3.20am. You have to trust your thoughts but part of that has to be trusting them to stand up to examination. Reassessing your beliefs and opinions based on new and better information (well-sourced information, that is) is a practice that not nearly enough people have developed. We owe it to ourselves to learn it not just for the sake of our own intellectual rigour but to improve the terms on which we interact with the world. You do not know everything. No one does. In fact, when put in any kind of perspective, you know basically nothing. This will only ever be a bad thing if you try to deny it. Don’t worry, you will still be you if you change your mind on something. I promise.

Thanks to local artist Phoebe Morris for providing the above illustration.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

ROXY

HEART

AND

PRUDENCE

LOVELOCK

Hi Dear Roxy & Prudence, I’ve been with my boyfriend for going on 3 years now. We have incredible sex all the time. I’m a big fan of anal, but he refuses saying “you have a perfectly good vagina”. As far as he’s told me, he’s never had anal before, but it makes me feel incredibly hot and I miss having it. I understand he’s scared (as I was my first time), but how can I bring him round?! Help me! Looking for love in all the wrong places.

ROXY Oh, you poor thing. If you’ve had no luck with the usual reasons why he should do it (it feels great, you enjoy it) I think there are two reasons he might still be reluctant: fear of hurting you and the risk of the dreaded poop-dick. The key to both of these problems is doing anal sex right, so here’s Roxy’s patented Up the Pooper 101. You say you’ve done it before, so I assume you know this shit, but now you can rely on the authority vested in Salient. First, barring a few exceptions (which you’re clearly not) anal only hurts if you’re doing it wrong. To do it right, use lots of lube and start slowly. He should use a well lubed finger to gently penetrate you, working it slowly and carefully to loosen you up while you try to relax. From there he should start working additional fingers (or slender toys) until he can get at least three fingers inside you. Once you’re nice and relaxed, only then should he start slowly inserting his well lubed member. Remember, slow and steady will win the race, and once you’re comfortable he can then start buggering you with loose abandon. Regarding poop-dick, remind him that sex is always going to be messy, and that poop is not some sort of all-destroying

substance that will melt it right off. Second, you can take proactive measures to ensure his dick remains poop-free. If you have a good, high fibre diet, going to the bathroom before sex will clean you out nicely. If you’re still worried, sexgear.co.nz sells a perfectly good douche for a mere 50 bucks, although its High School chemistry lab chic means it is best kept out of the bedroom. Oh, and remember to wait a few hours after douching before having sex. If after all this he still won’t do it, I think you should seriously consider what his refusal to do something that you enjoy, and carries no real cost to him, means for your relationship. Roxy <3

PRUDENCE Don’t listen to Roxy. Poop-dick is a real thing, and it is fatal. Now, as we all know, disease is caused by an imbalance of the four humours: black bile (melan chole, an abundance of which is responsible for the “emo” subculture), yellow bile (chole, the overabundance of which causes support of the Crafar farm sales), phlegm (phlegma, responsible for the sudden abundance of Green voters) and blood (sanguis, the overabundance of which is associated with communistic tendencies).

All four of the humours are present in human faeces and are rapidly absorbed by the male member, even through a condom (remember, your penis even absorbs the latex in the condom, and makes you infertile: no wonder God hates birth control!). The effects of this can be devastating, as seen in South America. In case you weren’t aware, South American papists are notorious for defiling themselves in this way as a method to subvert God’s will that women be pregnant constantly until they die. The absorption of humours this practice creates then leads to all the sinning you see in these countries: dance, colourful costumes and women wearing anything less than the ordained five layers of petticoats over the top of a cast-iron bustier. In short, your boyfriend is just trying to save his soul from the fiery maw of papist “Carni-hell”! xoxo Prudence. If you have issues or concerns that you wish to discuss privately and confidentially with a professional, rather than a magazine columnist, Student Counselling Service can provide a safe place to explore such aspects of your life. The service is free and confidential. Phone 04 463 5310. Email counselling-service@vuw.ac.nz. Visit Mauri Ora, Level 1, Student Union Building.

EAT YOUR FUCKING GREENS Go online to see this week's recipe for Pumpkin Spinach & Feta Risotto by Ashleigh Barrett

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

NOTHIN' NET BUT

OUR OBSESSION WITH THE ‘NEXT BIG THING’. SEE ALSO: HOW WE RUINED ISAIA TOEAVA.

☞ STEPHEN GILLAM I love a new Super Rugby season. As a Hurricanes fan it’s a chance to hope for a fresh start. But most fascinating is watching the future stars. My cock(les) get all tingly and stand erect as fresh blood take the field, often having improved in the offseason. Aaron Smith is one of my favourites at the moment. He’s got the skillset of a great traditional halfback and looks like a superb long-term option for the All Blacks. I’m not the only one who enjoys watching this. Last year the majority of rugby fans had their opinions on the duel between Aaron Cruden and Colin Slade.

One problem that these young guys face in the modern environment is the hype they tend to generate, combined with the increased scrutiny they inevitably receive

thanks to enough cameras to feed a Third World country and talk shows hosted by washed up stars hoping for a quick buck.

It’s not unique to rugby either. Football’s Joe Cole was placed in the senior West Ham squad early on and, while a decent player, is regarded as a disappointment.

The result of this is usually way more pressure coming onto the players than they can cope with. When this happens they get overwhelmed by the big lights, slowing or even limiting their development as players.

The success stories tend to involve a bit more patience. Aaron Cruden finally came good after a season’s training with the All Blacks.

Meanwhile, the once-captivated public turns on them with a fickle lack of mercy. Isaia Toeava is a classic example. One of the most talented backs in the country, as a mere youngster he found himself thrust vigourously into the international game after only a few semi-professional appearances. The bright-eyed padawan was gifted with a harsh awakening to the highest level of the game and is still average years later.

Basketball’s Blake Griffin spent his entire first season on the bench with injury, adjusting to the games’ atmosphere and gameplay. This confidence allowed him to explode into one of the world’s best power forwards the following season. When the pressure to perform is removed, younger players find it easier to thrive, and it’s not like there’s any hurry for them to do so: Cory Jane didn’t emerge as a top-grade winger until he turned 26.

☻ SALIENT LOVES YOU ☻

CO M M E R C E & L A W

TO ASTMASTERS !!!

REC RU I TMENT

COMMERCE AND LAW CAREERS EXPO

Wednesdays, 12-1pm, Room 218, Student Union Building

RECRUITMENT FOR 2012/13 INTERNSHIPS AND GRADUATE JOBS!

Tuesday 13 March 2012 11am – 2pm Ground & Mezzanine Foyers Wonderful opportunity to explore future work opportunities in a relaxed and informal setting. Don’t miss out! For some employers, the isthe only time they recruit and the only event where you get to meet them in person! ፖፖ 40+ stalls jam packed with career opportunities! ፖፖ Free professional memberships! ፖፖ Free careers handouts and advice! ፖፖ + countless summer internships and graduate opportunities on offer! Check out the Expo Directory on CareerHub: http://careerhub.victoria. ac.nz and come to meet the organisation in person!

TAEK W O ND O VICTORIA UNIVERSITY TAEKWONDO CLUB OPEN DAY

Because communication isn’t optional, Toastmasters is a club dedicated to helping people practice public speaking in a fun and supportive environment. Everyone - no matter what your current public speaking ability – is welcome. Come along and see what Toastmasters is all about. VISIT US ONLINE AT VICUNI.FREETOASTHOST.INFO

Forsyth Barr

16-Mar

KPMG

18-Mar

Bank of New Zealand

20-Mar

PwC

22-Mar

Deloitte

22-Mar

Bell Gully

22-Mar

Buddle Findlay

22-Mar

MUSIC LAUGHTER TERROR

Chapman Tripp

22-Mar

tune in:

DLA Phillips Fox

22-Mar

Fridays 4-7pm

Kensington Swan

22-Mar

Minter Ellison Rudd Watts

22-Mar

Russell McVeagh

22-Mar

SUPER CUTE HANGOUT EMMA + BELLA’S SUPER CUTE HANGOUT

88.3FM VBC.org.nz

WHERE: Dance Room, Victoria University Recreation Centre

INTIAL GENERAL MEETING

WEBSITE: http://union.vuw.ac.nz/ reccentre/club-info/taekwon-do

TAE K WO ND O C L U B

Friday March 16, 1pm, SU220 (through the doors in the clubs lounge) Come along to our first meeting of 2012 and suggest some ideas for the year, nominate yourself for an executive role or just show up to make some like-minded friends and vote for the best candidates!

VICTORIA UNIVERSITY TAEKWONDO CLUB Interested in Taekwondo? New to Taekwondo? Learned Taekwondo before? Come along and join us! TRAINING TIMES:

Tuesday 6.30pm - 8.00pm Long Room, Victoria University Recreation Centre Saturday 3.30pm - 5.30pm Dance Room, Victoria University Recreation Centre Contact Us! ✉EMAIL: vuwtkd@hotmail.com

APPLICATIONS CLOSING IN SOON: CLOSING DATE

W OMEN'S GROU P

EMAIL: vuwtkd@hotmail.com

Start preparing your CV - attend workshops, get your CV checked… ORGANISATIONS

WHEN: Saturday 10 March & 17 March, 3:30 – 5:30pm

WHAT U NEED: Drink bottle, comfy trousers/ shorts, t-shirt

CAREERHUB HTTP://CAREERHUB.VICTORIA.AC.NZ

Salient provides a free notice service for all Victoria students, VUWSA-affiliated clubs and not-for-profit organisations. Notices should be received by 5pm Tuesday the week before publication. Notices must be fewer than 100 words. For-profit organisations will be charged $15 per notice. Send notices to editor@salient.org.nz with 'Notice' in the subject line.

CAREERS EVENTS – BOOK ON CAREERHUB: EMPLOYER PRESENTATION

DATE

PricewaterhouseCoopers

12-Mar

Deloitte

13-Mar

OneSteel

14-Mar

KPMG

14-Mar

NZICA

15-Mar

Westpac

16-Mar

Ernst & Young

20-Mar

Audit New Zealand

21-Mar

CAREERS IN FOCUS SEMINAR

DATE

LAW - Working in SME Firms

14-Mar

LAW - Working in Public Sector

27-Mar

For more or full details, check on http://careerhub.victoria.ac.nz careers-service@vuw.ac.nz, 04- 463-5390

☻ SALIENT LOVES YOU ☻

LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS TWO FREE COFFEES FROM VIC BOOKS!

LE T T ER

OF THE

WEEK!

AGAIN, THE LIZARD PEOPLE!

Dear salient, I am beginning to fear the worst. As I sit here, chowing down on pizza, I feel somewhat uneasy of the recently published article on the #18 bus proposed cancelation. I mean, how does something as important as a bus which runs between some of the main non-hall student accommodation facilities and the Kelburn Campus become proposed for cancelation. It’s the “CAMPUS CONNECTION” for christ sake. Do the bus companies not want us students to attend University and gain a higher level or education? I asked my self this question, and decided to think what any clueless, misinformed victim would think. IT’S A CONSPIRACY! My proposal is that the bus companies are actually prepubescent children who are sick of teachers and are therefore removing the #18 bus in order to end their days of higher educated figures telling them what to do. Of course it is. I mean can’t you just imagine them?…plotting away with their ben 10 pencils in hand and barbie notepads. It’s sick. Just sick. What ever happened to “the children are our future”? More like “the children are little evil midgets brewing plans in order to ruin your future”. Okay perhaps I’ve got carried away, and perhaps this whole thing is entirely pointless and will have no affect what so ever on the proposal. But at least I can share my feelings with other fellow #18 passengers. P.S. I still think the idea of evil, callas children is fucking creepy and entirely plausible. Yours, Matt

Salient welcomes, encourages and thrives on public debate—be it serious or otherwise—through the letters pages. Write about what inspires you, enrages you, makes you laugh, makes you cry. Send us feedback, send us abuse. Anything. Letters must be received before 5pm Tuesday, for publication the following week. Letters must be no more than 250 words. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number. These will not be printed. Please note that letters

IT’S ALL BAU HAUS, REALLY. Salient, Your typefaces are so pretty. Ms. Roboto

WEIR DID ALL THE NICE KIDS GO? Gad Dayumm assholez this is a shout out to all you weir house hating bastard pricks. So as it goes, being a “weir hoe”, we had to take part in the compulsory scavenger marathon event. and no lies. during that brief 3 hours of running and looking like a fool sack. i collectively experienced the most abuse in ma lyf. People literally decelerated in their cars, as well as taking the time to wind down their window, just to yell (my personal favorite) ‘’go fuck yo-self u pretentious gypsy piece of shit’’. And that shit doesn’t sit cool with me. I mean, we cant help it that were better than you. hahaha, just playing. But seriously. So, im going to make it my personal mission to do some ninja f.b.i detective shit and crank down HARD on all these haterz of weir. let that be a warning to you, you hate filled mofo’z. because if you talk smack about weir and im lurking behind you. shit goneeee get all dragon ball z up in this joint. peace n luv from Shawty B

THE DRUGS ARE WORKING Dear Salient, I am a first year. I started on Monday. To be quite frank, university used to (and to a degree still does) scare the shit outta me. However, it is already proving to be an experience so wondrous that I can’t wait to continue. The people are neat. The university is groovy. Salient has already proven to be far superior to the

will not be corrected for spelling or grammar. The Editors reserve the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters without explanation.

LETTERS CAN BE SENT TO ✉ EMAIL: letters@salient.org.nz ✍ POSTED: Salient, c/- Victoria University, PO Box 600, Wellington ☞ DROPPED INTO: the Salient office on the third floor of the Student Union Building.

mindless drivel named “Canta” that I so foolishly thought was brilliant during my brief lectures at UC last year. I can’t help but think that Wellington city and Victoria University are the places I’m meant to be. I like it here. It’s nice. Yours, Timid yet Enthusiastic First Year

HAVE YOU SEEN KONY2012? Salient, I came up with this idea the other week and have no political motivation to actually get it done, so figure you will do as a starting point to have someone notice: why can’t we use our KiwiSaver money to pay off our student loans? I’d say the vast majority of students have part time jobs and may subsequently have accumulated a bit of savings in KiwiSaver, assuming they chose to contribute. I do, and know many others that do too. Perhaps with the condition that we have graduated (and maybe even forgo the bonus 10% for voluntary payments) we can use this money that is sitting doing nothing to reduce student debt? Obviously there will be some who oppose and want to keep it for a first home, and good on them, but it could certainly benefit those going on OE’s out of uni etc and will inevitably face interest. There are other reasons and arguments I haven’t the time or word count to bring up. Regardless, someone action this. Cheers Thomas

EXPLANATION NECESSARY Dear Salient and ‘Prudence’, I just had the misfortune of watching your SalientTV announcement on YouTube. Are all of the writers this year really just

☻ SALIENT LOVES YOU ☻ SEND TO: letters@salient.org.nz Salient c/ Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington

men? And Pakeha men at that? Would be nice to be a bit more diverse, no? I also just read Prudence’s reply to the question about the 22 year old guy. I know Prudence is supposed to be some funny, satirical piece but when you start throwing around shit like “you might be a homosexual” you are fucking undermining everything that people have been fighting for in regards to LGBTQ rights and privileges. What about the people who struggle every day because they are closeted away, afraid of coming out? The people who commit suicide? The youth who end up homeless because their parents listen to people like you, who perpetuate the stereotype that homosexuality is wrong? By “purging [your] demons through prayer” you are again saying that it is not ok, that it is something that needs to be gotten rid of. Oh, and I love your little reference to “a healthy diet of beef,” because we all know that labia can look like roast beef, don’t we? And by having sex with women, it will somehow ‘cure you’ of your homosexuality.

probably even think I am overreacting! But when you are beaten up, bullied, harassed, assaulted and treated like shit just because of who you choose to fuck, or what gender you are, or what lifestyle you live, then maybe, just maybe, you will understand how having a piece like this makes me feel like I am being bullied and harassed all over again! And through a university magazine, too. Shame on you.

intended to satirise outdated and absurd conservative attitudes to sexuality. As satire, we are confident that it does not incite or reflect homophobic attitudes. We did not intend to offend anyone other than bigots.

Grow the fuck up! Victoria. P.S. Having articles written in green ink is not helpful for people who are colourblind, just FYI. ED’S RESPONSE: Our SalientTV announcement was made within the constraints of a four-day production schedule. Those featured in it are those who happened to be in the office at that moment. The majority of Salient’s staff are female. As indicated by her definition of homosexuality as Satan's possession of the penis, Prudence Lovelock’s column is

This ‘Prudence Lovelock’ bullshit needs to stop. Or at least write stuff that is not offensive as fuck to people like me. Or anyone, for that matter. You might find it funny, hell, you

☞ WILL ROBERTSON, SAM PHILLIPS & LIVVY NONOA

☞ UDAYAN MUKHERJEE Education is about knowledge. We get taught things that are interesting like history or Shakespeare, and we learn things which which are useful like maths or how to find the best coffee on campus. This might not be the only reason we care about knowledge, but it is certainly an important reason. And its pretty obvious what knowledge is—just the stuff that we know right? Unfortunately, philosophers have a nasty habit of taking really obvious claims and scrutinising them for their entire careers. And such has been the case with the concept of ‘knowledge’. For a long time the standard analysis of knowledge within philosophy held that it was the same thing as Justified True Belief, the JTB account for short. The idea was that if you knew something, that meant that you had a belief about that was true, and that you came to that

belief through a pretty good process of reasoning. This seems pretty obvious, and you’d think that no bearded maverick would try and upturn this piece of philosophy. But alas, we raptors are a disagreeable bunch. In the '60s, Edmund Gettier devised a famous counter-example that attempted to show that the JTB account was actually pretty stink. It went like this. Imagine Ollie is applying for a job. But he doesn’t think he’ll get it because a silver-tounged demon called Asher is also applying, so Ollie think that he’ll lose the job to Asher. Ollie also knows that Asher has a pack of durries in his pocket. So it seems like we can say that Ollie believes that the man with durries in his pocket will get the job. But now imagine that Asher fluffs his interview as he was hungover from sippin’ too much gin and juice the night before, so Ollie does end

up with the job. And as it turns out he also has a pack of durries in his pocket. So it seems like his belief that man with the durries will get the job, turns out to be true. But Gettier reckons its strange to say that Ollie really knew that, since even though he had a JTB, it was about the wrong person! Maybe this fanciful story doesn’t convince you. But it has certainly convinced a lot of philosophers to spend a lot of time thinking about ways around this problem. But some thoughts just need to be thunk. In any case, it's worth thinking about. If you think you are learning something and it turns out you are, but only for the wrong reasons, then maybe you aren’t being educated at all. Deep. Now put down this rag and go back to learning things that matter while we bearded mavericks figure out how that even works.

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☞ AARRON HARLAND

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.59)

9 Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Thu Mar 8 07:13:25 2012 GMT. Enjoy!

☞ MAX RASHBROOKE

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