Issue 7 - Sex

SA L I E N T

ISSUE O6

Sex

www.salient.org.nz

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CONTENTS 06-09

10-11

12-15

News

Let’s Do Better Than Pornhub (Feature)

Self Care For Sex Workers (Feature)

16-18

20-21

22-23

What Comes Next?

(Feature)

Centrefold

Poems

24-25

26-35

36-38

What Contraception Is Right for Me?

Culture & Columns

Entertainment

About Us Salient is published by, but remains editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA).

Salient is funded in part by VUWSA through the Student Services Levy. Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

The views expressed in Salient do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, VUWSA, or the University.

Complaints Complaints regarding the material published in Salient should first be brought to the Editor in writing (editor@salient.org.nz). If not satisfied with the response, complaints should be directed to the Media Council (info@mediacouncil.org.nz).

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Stop Having Shit Sex EDITORIAL I’m parked up by Starbucks, chocolate frap in hand, when my phone lights up. “I just had the best sex of my life,” reads a text from my mate. I let out an ungodly shriek, spilling my drink down my shirt, and furiously start typing back, demanding more details.

In my world, there is no such thing as TMI. My friends and I love dissecting sex together, sharing hard-earned wisdom as well as tips and tricks we hear on our favourite podcasts. Even when it’s past midnight on a weekday, if my friend wants to know whether he should “fuck Karen,” I’m there to give my two cents.

But I’ve noticed a trend that’s unsurprising at best, and heartbreaking at worst. For students partaking in hookup culture, shit sex has become the status quo.

The bar for hookup sex is located in the seventh circle of hell, and any sexual experience that exceeds the bare minimum is written off as a happy accident.

Thursdays in Black, a national student camapign to end sexual violence, defines consent as being “full, free, ongoing, enthusastic, informed, mutual, and reversible”. Having a sound understanding of consent is heralded as the ‘gold standard,’ but it’s truly the bare minimum.

Just because you’re having consensual sex, doesn’t mean you’re having good sex.

I roll my eyes as my friends have bragging contests for what the worst thing someone’s said to them during sex. Honourable mentions go to: “I can’t go down on you, it’s too hairy,” “Tell me your trauma,” and “Since I’ve cum in your mouth, I can never kiss you again.”

As students, we’ve been fed the fallacy that having lots of casual sex is empowering and a hallmark of you #livingyourbestlife. What can be true for some isn’t gospel for all.

Shit sex isn’t just sex that feels shit in the moment, it can also be sex that feels shit retrospectively.

If you reflect on all of your sexual experiences, and eliminate all of the shit ones, how many good moments are you left with? If the number is lower than you’d like to admit, something’s gotta give.

Here’s my hot take: Having shit sex is much worse than not having sex at all.

I strongly believe we need a cultural shift where we prioritise quality over quantity when it comes to sex.

We can do this by being more intentional about the how, what, when, why, and even who. Try this litmus test: Ask yourself if you would want to be seen hanging out with your casual sexual partner(s) in broad daylight. If the thought makes you cringe… that’s a red flag.

For our Sex Issue this year, Salient’s pushing you to have better sex. In our features, Maia helps you develop a better relationship with porn, Darcy talks about the importance of aftercare, and the Filthy Geographic outlines what self care looks like for sex workers.

Later on in the issue, we share our sexiest playlists, explore the intersections between sex and art, launch a new sex advice column, and help you find your ideal contraception.

So draw the curtains, light a candle, and put on The Weeknd. It’s about to get real sexy.

Ngā manaakitanga, JANHAVI GOSAVI (SHE/HER)

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Flithy Vermin Saw some VUW students pissing on the footpath of Kelburn parade. Absolutely rank. Do better you filthy vermin.

Team Vic Netball is Looking for Coaches!

Letters & Notices

Coaches who also play with our club are eligible for a fees subsidy. If you’re keen to spread the joy of netball, get in touch teamvicnetball@gmail.com.

New opportunity for budding writers! 🚨 We are looking for guest writers to have their Pasifika perspectives featured in our weekly PSC Column in the Salient Magazine. It’s time to change the narrative and write the stories that what you want to read. Submit your interest to wandolwara.psc@gmail.com. Everyone is welcome.🤗

FRIENDS

Complaints I was reading through your 5th issue this week and something has come to my attention. The article titled “Why can’t we print more money: Inflation 101 for Hot Girls” could have been worded very differently. There was no need to add the “for Hot Girls” phrase at the end. This phrase continues the notion that “hot girls” are stupid and aren’t educated. I think this article should not have solely been advertised to “hot girls”, but rather to everyone. Inflation is a big deal regardless of what gender or sex you identify as. Thus, a much better title could have been “inflation 101”- skipping the “hot girls” addition. After all, there are many hot girls at uni aren’t there? And since that’s the case we can assume that they are smart for being at uni, right? So why add a sexist ending to that important title when it effects everyone, not just “hot girls”? The fact that this article has gone out to all students disappoints me as this continues to spread the sexist theme in our culture.

Do you have a PSA that needs to be heard?

Send your letters and notices to editor@salient.org.nz if you’d like them published on this page!

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@splendid.nz 85 Ghuznee St, Te Aro, Wellington www.splendid.nz

Inquiry into Student Wellbeing Well-Received Words by the Salient News Team What is it?

The Green Party have launched a People’s Inquiry into Student Wellbeing, in partnership with student unions across the country. The inquiry is fronted by Tertiary Education Spokesperson Chlöe Swarbrick and is being led by 33 student unions including New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations, Te Mana Ākonga, Tauira Pasifika, and the National Disabled Students’ Association.

Swarbrick describes the inquiry as being about taking a step back from the “constant sense of urgency” felt in the fight for better student conditions, and instead looking for the “major drivers” of the issues faced by students.

The inquiry began on 12 April in the form of a survey which asks questions regarding work/life balance, living costs, housing, and Covid-19. The survey is open to all tertiary-level students and aims to collect the irrefutable data which is often called for in Parliament when issues are brought to the fore, says Swarbrick.

A secondary goal of the inquiry is to build solidarity, and therefore political force, within the student community.

“People need to understand that what they’re going through is not an individualised problem with them, it is in fact a widely felt systemic problem, which is not natural—it’s the consequences of political decisions that have been made for the last 30 years,” says Swarbrick.

The Nuts and Bolts Swarbrick has championed the inquiry, saying, “We know students are being screwed over, and it’s time to do something about it.”

In an interview with Salient, Swarbrick said universities and governments have long overlooked student issues and students have experienced a “really disappointing lack of support in the government’s Covid-19 response” that has left many young people “regularly in crisis mode.”

Swarbrick continues, “Frequently when I take [these issues] into select committee or through petitions, we’re just told that we don’t have data on that or that it’s not a problem [...] we’re going to build our own narrative and our own case for change and we’ve got the numbers to do it”.

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the most the Minister can do is offer a few thousand of them a miserly $25 a week in extra allowance.”

“We need a genuine effort to understand the issues our students are facing and we need a Minister that is prepared to listen to the voices crying out for help, fairness and change,” Lessells added, saying that the inquiry will bridge the gap between the government and the lives of 400,000 students.

Source: VUWSA The People’s Inquiry differs from a parliamentary inquiry in that it is an independent initiative led by the Green Party in collaboration with NZUSA as well as independent student associations. Swarbrick explains, “This is something that is existing independently of parliament for that reason because we haven’t been able to make the parliamentary system care enough about this.”

Key issues of the inquiry involve students’ finances, health, housing, and transport. “It’s attempting to reflect the multiplicity of student experiences,” Swarbrick says.

The People’s Inquiry into Student Wellbeing follows the 2020 Inquiry into Student Accommodation launched

by Parliament’s Education and Workforce Committee, which led to changes and regulations regarding halls of residence and student rental properties.

VUWSA also welcomed the inquiry. Engagement VicePresident Katherine Blow told Salient they’re happy to see an inquiry, but believe it is long overdue: “Students have been systemically treated as second class citizens and get trapped in poverty cycles because of the way the government currently treats students.”

What Happens Next?

The data collected from the survey will be used to identify the most pressing issues for students and to make cases for change accordingly.

The results of the inquiry will be provided to Parliament later this year. The data will also be available to the student unions partnered in the inquiry, for them to build cases for change within their own institutions.

“It’s about making rational demands for changes that are necessary […] the call to action is to realise that stuff doesn’t have to be that way. Students have a huge amount of political power if they choose to be part of something,” says Swarbrick.

In a social media post, Swarbrick added, “Students will be counted and we will change the rules. If anyone tells you it’s impossible, remind them Uni was effectively free until 30 years ago, back when the median rent was less than $100 (it’s now $540).”

Education Minister Chris Hipkins rejected the need for an inquiry, telling the media that the government has been “very focused on student wellbeing.”

The Partners Alice Mander, president of the National Disabled Students’ Association, welcomed the inquiry, stating “It’s time that disabled students are part of the conversation, and supports offered for students are cognisant of the extra equity needs our tauira have.

We know that disabled students face material hardship at greater rates than nondisabled students, and also face inequities and barriers in the tertiary education system itself. The support is simply not there.”

Overall, 33 students’ associations have thrown their support behind the inquiry, including the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations. NZUSA President Andrew Lessells said about the inquiry, “students have lost jobs because of Covid, [and] are taking on crippling debt just to keep a roof over their heads and

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Source: VUWSA

What Should Students Expect in the Next Government Budget?

Words by Azaria Howell (she/her)

The annual budget is something that shouldn’t be ignored by students. Changes to student loans, income support, and education funding affect us significantly.

The annual government budget gets released to the public on 19 May, 2022; what often follows is a fiery debate between MPs, with community organisations either feeling overjoyed or left in the mud. Despite not being fully released, the Government has promised the public that significant focus will be put on health and climate change.

The National Party have criticised potential increases to government spending. In a press release, former National Party Finance Spokesperson Simon Bridges said, “With an upcoming splurge of $6 billion planned for Budget 2022, the biggest permanent new spending increase New Zealand has seen, [Grant Robertson] must show some discipline and rein it in.”

Grant Robertson’s Budget Policy Statement, which sets the frameworks for the upcoming government budget, says that this year’s government spending will be focused on tackling the economic impacts of Covid-19. In the 37-page document, the word “tertiary” is found twice: The odds may not explicitly be in our favour this financial year.

The government has stated that, due to previous funding increases, tertiary education uptake rates are increasing, with 36% of New Zealanders having at least a bachelor’s degree in 2020, compared to 24% in 2004.

Some credit Labour’s ‘first year free’ policy for an uptake in tertiary education, yet critics are disappointed that the policy was not expanded, as previously promised. The original Labour policy was to introduce fees-free study for the first year of study in 2018, which was promised to be expanded to two years in 2021, and three in 2024. The expansion of the fees-free policy was scrapped in place of general Covid-19 economic recovery, which was less studentfocussed.

In addition, Labour broke their 2017 election promise of bringing back the postgraduate student allowance due to Covid-19. This most likely will not be implemented in the 2022 Budget, as Covid-19 economic recovery and healthcare are prioritised.

Despite this, a focus on health-based government spending will likely come as a benefit to tertiary students. Budget 2020, which unsurprisingly had a significant focus on health policy, set funding increases for mental health support which was implemented to coincide with the start of the study year.

Data from this year shows that the boost towards mental health services has been invaluable for students. In a press release to Salient, Health Minister Andrew Little said, “The $3.8 million of funding increases well-being supports for about 80,000 students and includes mental health promotion activities, wider access to talking therapies, drug and alcohol help, student-led initiatives, as well as targeted supports for Māori, Pacific and Rainbow students.”

The Young Nats criticised the government’s student support back in 2020, saying it was overshadowed by a larger investment into the horse racing industry: “Winston got $72.5m for his mates in the Racing Industry, but students are left out in the cold with a mere $20m boost to hardship grants.”

They added, “The government talks big for students, but isn’t willing to back us when it actually counts.”

The government denied these claims, but do the numbers speak louder than words?

In the 2022 Budget Policy Statement, Finance Minister Grant Robertson said that the government had committed to a slightly more generous $30 million extension of the Student Hardship Fund, which will “keep students engaged in study.”

Victoria University of Wellington’s Hardship Fund can help with a multitude of issues, including medical fees, unforseen rental issues, and transportation costs. This is paid twice a week to students in need.

In addition, a $25 per week increase in student loans and allowances will be implemented in April.

In a statement to media, Finance Minister Grant Robertson said, “Covid-19 has highlighted how critical a prepared health system is to protect New Zealanders and support their wellbeing,” adding that Budget 2022 will help to manage “rising health costs.”

Budget 2022 is on the horizon. Inflation is at an all-time-high. Rents are rising. Despite this, Finance Minister Grant Robertson recently announced a multi-year funding approach for various sectors; it is unknown whether education is one of these, and Salient doesn’t have access to a crystal ball. Climate change, on the other hand, will be tackled with a multiyear spending allocation, with the Minister announcing a Climate Emergency Response Fund which will receive $4.5 billion in this year’s Budget.

In this year’s Budget Policy Statement, Robertson said the government had “an expectation that the global economic outlook and conditions will stabilise” in 2022: so let’s hope there’s not another variant. Knock on wood. www.salient.org.nz

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Students Launch Petition to Scrap Laundry Fees in VUW Halls of Residence Words by Ethan Manera (he/him)

First-year students in Victoria University of Wellington halls of residence are calling for free laundry services to be provided, saying the current system is “unjust” and “extortionate.”

William Bell-Purchas, a resident in VUW’s Te Puni Village started the petition, saying that laundry is an “essential service” and the additional cost is “a huge extra burden for many students.”

Residents pay $2 per load of washing and an additional $2 per dry: a cost called insignificant by some, though residents disagree with this. BellPurchas said, “While a one-off $2 may be perceived as cheap, the issue is the accumulated cost throughout the whole year.”

“In a time where cost of living is rapidly rising, removing extra fees on laundry is one way of reducing pressure on students,” Bell-Purchas continued.

The petition has currently garnered over 1,500 signatures since its creation on 6 April. Bell-Purchas explained, “our hope is that VUW are willing to take action [...] We want to prioritise working constructively with VUW to reach a positive outcome for the student community.”

Many who have signed the petition shared their dissatisfaction with the current laundry services, one student saying, “My rent is [ridiculously] high. I can barely afford food. I have to take my laundry home.”

Another shared that they have “gone hungry” as a result of needing to pay for laundry. Others have called the laundry fees “highway robbery” and ludicrous.

Residents are also dissatisfied with the quality of laundry services provided, saying that often dryers don’t work and leave clothes “sopping wet.” One student who was in a VUW hall last year said, “the machines are so inconsistent, you would pay for drying only to find your clothes wet and musty in the machine an hour later. Not only was it frustrating, it wasted money that I frankly didn’t have.”

The machines are Eftpos operated, a system which also causes issues, with another resident calling it “inconsistent,” saying they “often break down,” and maintenance has had to be called “three times in six weeks.”

When approached for comment, VUW Director of Student and Campus Living Rainsforth Dix told

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Salient, “The University regularly reviews its fees and charging regimes.” Dix did not comment on the petition but it is understood a meeting between residents and the university is scheduled to take place on 28 April to discuss the students’ demands.

The university confirmed to Salient that the total annual revenue from laundry services in VUWmanaged halls is approx. $80,000 which calculates to $32 per resident. Petition organiser William BellPurchas questioned this figure calling it “highly unrealistic” and stating that it “doesn’t match the experiences of [his] peers.” $32 per resident equates to only eight loads of washing and drying for a whole year.

Bell-Purchas added, “If the service does only bring in $80,000 in gross revenue each year, removing the charge would cost less than expected, we are optimistic to what this could mean.”

Salient understands that universities of Otago, Canterbury, and Auckland all provide free laundry services to residents.

Headline Junkie Words by Ethan Manera (he/him)

New Relationship and Sexuality Education Resources Released The government has established new materials for the teaching of sex, relationships, gender identity, and consent in schools. The new resources come after criticism of a lack of inclusivity within the health curriculum. Associate Minister of Education, Jan Tinetti says, “I want all our schools to be safe places for all our students whatever their gender, race, nationality, beliefs, or sexual orientation.”

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern Travels Overseas for the First Time in Two Years The PM is currently travelling throughout Singapore and Japan on her first overseas trip since the beginning of the pandemic over two years ago. Ardern is accompanied by a delegation of 50 other officials including ministers, defence personnel, business leaders, and media on the trip which is taking place to promote Aotearoa to overseas tourists.

Salient News Team Annihilated by Covid-19 Two-thirds of the Salient News Team have been “taken out” by the novel coronavirus with cognitive decline reducing the reporting ability of the journalists.

Bethany Mountford (24) and Azaria Isis Eve Howell (20) were infected with the virus earlier last week, leaving Editor Janhavi Gosavi distraught. Gosavi has been quoted saying, “fugg this sucks big time.” It was initially believed Mountford had immunity to the virus but this was however proved untrue when an intense sore throat was detected on 17 April. Howell tested positive the next day and was hit hard, explaining, “i feel so shit rn lol.” Chief Reporter Ethan Manera is the only news writer left standing, but continues to struggle with cognitive decline following a Covid-19 infection earlier this year. Manera told Salient, “I wish my fellow news writers a speedy recovery, but I have faith they will be back in full health within days—kia kaha, queens.” It is unknown when the team will recover.

Victoria University of Wellington Scrap Covid-19 Vaccine Mandate Acting Vice-Chancellor of Te Herenga Waka, Professor Jennifer Windsor announced the removal of the mandate by explaining that, after balancing the risks and consulting students, the vaccine mandate will be discontinued as of Tuesday 26 April. The student survey results showed that 57% of students supported removing the mandate at the red or orange setting and 90% supported removal before or at the green setting. The university’s decision follows the government’s announcement of widespread narrowing of vaccine mandate use nationwide.

Harry Styles Announces Aotearoa Tour Dates Former One Direction member and heart-throb Harry Styles has revealed the date for the Aotearoa leg of his “Love on Tour” concert. The singer will perform at Auckland’s Mt Smart Stadium on 7 March 7 2023, with tickets on sale from Wednesday 27 April. It is believed Styles will perform songs from the chart topping Fine Line album, as well as singles from yet-to-be-released Harry’s House. One fan told Salient, “it’s the least he could do after rudely cancelling his previous shows on us.”

Aotearoa Moves to Orange Traffic Light Setting The nation has moved to the ‘orange’ stage of the Covid-19 protection framework after almost five months at the ‘red’ setting. The shift is a welcome change to many business owners, with Hospitality New Zealand celebrating their “new-found freedom” and saying the shift will “make a difference to bigger venues.” Public health experts are less impressed, with epidemiologist Dr Michael Baker saying the rules should be “tweaked” to include more widespread mask use.

Luxon Commits to Removal of Māori Health Authority if Elected National leader Christopher Luxon maintains that if a National government is elected in 2023 he will get rid of the proposed Māori Health Authority which is currently being implemented. The reform, which is forecast to be enacted by July, aims to improve health outcomes for Māori with targeted care through a “by Māori for Māori” approach that honours Ti Tiriti o Waitangi. Luxon has called the proposed system “separatism” and labelled the reform “divisive”.

Elon Musk Fails at Attempt to Purchase Twitter The controversial billionaire made a $43 million USD offer for a 100% share in the social media giant. It was earlier revealed that Musk currently owns a 9% share in the app but his offer to take full ownership has been refused. The board prevented Musk from acquiring more than 15% of the company by adopting a ‘poison pill’ strategy that offers other shareholders additional stock at a discounted price in order to dilute the shares one individual can own. Musk is continuing efforts to take ownership saying he wishes to make the changes necessary in “future-proofing” the business, explaining it’s “very important for there to be an inclusive arena for free speech.”

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Let’s Do Better Than...

Words by Maia Ingoe (she/her) The first time I talked about porn was in a shy conversation with my vivacious best friend. Have you watched it? I whisper-asked. Yeah, she had, once or twice. In the same conversation, she told me she masturbated too, and I felt a little less like a shameful sexual deviant. I was an awkward teenager, completely clueless about real-world sex, but with an insatiable curiosity.

I’ve come a long way from whispered questions, barely uttering the word “porn.” For many years, I felt a deep shame for seeking out my own pleasure, for having fantasies and enjoying them. I’m still hesitant to admit to watching porn—a shyness created by outdated perceptions that men are the sole watchers of porn, making women and nonbinary people who seek it out overtly sexual or creepy. I’m not proud of my porn habits—it’s easy to seek out a quick burst of pleasure by finding the first video on Pornhub’s “Hottest.” It’s harder to question my values in relation to the porn I consume, whether it’s made in an ethical way, and whether it’s limiting my ability to enjoy real-world sex.

Porn has been present in our lives from the moment we learnt what the word “fuck” really means. The days of sneaking a peek at your dad’s hidden copy of Playboy are long gone. By the time we started asking questions about sex, porn was already widely—and freely—available online, a second away on an incognito Google search. In 2018, the New Zealand Youth and Porn survey found that one in four young people had seen porn by the age of twelve, rising to three out of four by the age of seventeen. These statistics were headlined as “alarming,” but it was not news to us.

Inevitably, porn has had an impact on how we perceive and experience sex. Now, as adults enjoying sex on our own and in relationships, how can we have a better relationship with porn?

“I think a more mature relationship with porn will

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only come from having more mature and open conversations about sex generally,” said Dr Samantha Keene, a Criminology lecturer who has researched pornography and its place in people’s lives.

“It’s important to recognise that many people can use pornography in intimate relationships in really positive ways,” Dr Keene told me. “It can be a healthy way of identifying new sexual things that you might want to experiment with. But a lack of communication with a partner about what your sexual boundaries might be in relation to porn can certainly affect relationships.”

However we use porn, what’s clear is that we need to get better at talking about it. I’ve watched porn on my own, and with sexual partners. In some relationships, it’s been a regular part of our sexual routine (although our exploration only went as far as Pornhub). For others, it can be a source of insecurity in relationships, with a partner’s porn use causing discomfort and feelings of being cheated on.

Porn isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. What’s important is communicating about pornography

with your sexual partner, it’s place in your relationship, as well as your values on a personal level. We should be having these conversations with ourselves too.

featured in stories ranging from softcore to rough and wild. Being a paid subscription service, Dipsea offers content that is better quality and pays its actors.

I want us to stop being lazy with our porn use, and start putting effort into our pleasure, whether individually or in relationships. That starts with paying for porn: not only does it mean better content, but it’s also the best way to support porn that’s ethical.

On MakeLoveNotPorn, anyone can share videos of real sex. It’s porn that shows the messy and awkward moments and welcomes bodies of all kinds. Their revenue-sharing business model means users pay directly for the videos they want, and that payment is split evenly with the stars.

“Porn in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing,” Dr Keene explained. “[However] We do see levels of agression normalised in mainstream heterosexual pornography. That’s things like slapping, hitting, choking, and the use of derogatory language. These are very gendered in nature, so women are more likely to be the ones [on the receiving end of] those behaviours.”

ifeelmyself is a porn site that feels truly indie. It exclusively hosts “female masturbation” videos, prioritising “real women having real orgasms”.

Ersties is a German founded porn site “with female pleasure in focus.” It’s amateur, real, and it’s fucking hot.

All porn is not inherently violent or degrading for women. Dr Keene mentions the ethics behind feminist pornography, which present quite differently to the front page of Pornhub: “It can introduce different ideas and different concepts of what sex can be and the potential for pleasure.”

Taking this in my stride, I’ve explored porn sites that present an alternative to the mainstream.

The porn I’d like to see shows foreplay and aftercare, communication and active consent, and features bodies other than the heteronormative, cisnormative and skinny kind. Most of all, I want porn that explores the nuances of enjoyment and pleasure from all parties involved.

From here on out, you’ll find some of the paid porn sites I’ve enjoyed the most, and some that I’ll be steering clear of. I’ve prioritised feminist and queer porn, because I think it presents the most inclusive alternative to the mainstream hetero porn we’re used to—but it’s a format that all people can indulge in.

Video porn dominates the scene but other formats can be just as enticing. Dipsea is an app for escape, teasing the imagination through audio porn and stories. The content is delivered through a lush site of deep purples and always features honest depictions of consent.

I’ve enjoyed exploring film-length porn—though it’s definitely not appropriate for cinemas. Cinematic porn varies, but the best ones have narratives, space for consent and foreplay, and make selfpleasure a journey that spans an hour or longer—a different experience to the quickened nature of a ten-minute video. Lust cinema is an example, their films aiming to show realistic sex weaved into a narrative of a feature-length film or a series.

These porn sites are founded and made by women, and they pay their performers. They all have different subscription services, and through MakeLoveNotPorn’s model, you can directly support the performers you get off to. I’d be amiss to leave out OnlyFans: the platform dominates performer-created and controlled porn, enabling users to directly access and pay the performers they like. If you know who you want to see, paying for their content directly is best.

This article is far from an exclusive list. Everyone has different preferences about porn—so experiment to find what works for you. Instead of just choosing between categories and kinks, look into different formats: video, written, audio, live cameras, and comics, for example.

Let’s keep talking about porn’s place in our sex lives and consume porn that, hopefully, is better than Pornhub.

Audio porn was new for me, and I must admit it felt awkward at first, but I enjoyed the diversity of content on Dipsea—queer or hetero couples www.salient.org.nz

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Self Care for Sex Workers Words by Filthy Geographic

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dangerous environments for us to work within.

The negative stereotypes and jokes are consistent within civvie culture (civilian/not SWer) and cause serious harm to SWers. This harmful behavior manifests through a lack of sexual education and has mislead our society into censoring sex and those in sexual industries.

Holding space online to communicate these issues has become harder after Donald Trump signed the FOSTA-SESTA bills, which falsely claim to promote the protection of sex workers from sex trafficking.

These bills actually work to censor internationally built platforms like Instagram and OnlyFans, isolating online providers in Aotearoa—especially during lockdowns and the aftermath of Covid-19— and restricting accessibility to essential online resources, communications, and communities.

Content warning: whorephobia, disordered eating, and mentions of some dangers of sex work Self-care as a sex worker (SWer) is a bit more complicated than other industries.

Thanks to censorship and stigma, it isn’t easy within our society to help each other or ourselves. It’s important for whatever job you’re working that you take the time to figure out what works for you.

Everyone’s preferred forms of support are different, but it is essential to talk to other workers and learn how to look after yourself in this industry to avoid burnout.

Experiencing burnout in sex work is similar to other industries where a worker’s energy is spent on other people in intimate ways. Other examples of work like this include carers, therapists, and social workers. Signs of burnout can include fatigue, styes, breakouts, and irritation. I can always tell when I’m burning out because I start to rely more on my vices, avoid my phone, get the ick, cancel bookings last minute, and begin to resent my work.

Navigate your needs by paying attention to what comes with your sector, whether that’s escorting, sensual massage, domination, or dancing.

Sex work burnout is further catalysed by the effects of having to deal first-hand with pushy clients and our whorephobic society. Whorephobia is the combination of the fetishisation, glorification, hatred, and fear of sex workers, which creates

Another term to consider when considering sex work self-care is ‘whorearchy.’ The whorearchy is a hierarchy of privilege within the sex work community that is relevant to all types of sex work.

Intersecting with and influenced by social factors such as sex, gender, race, disability, and class systems, it turns sex workers against one another. It impacts our abilities to support one another—like when a dancer I used to work with said to me, “yeah but at least I’m not a whore.” When you approach self-care resources available to you, be considerate and mindful of our entire sex work community, varying levels of experience, and the equity still needed for those with less privilege.

The following tips are compiled by a variety of workers and can be adjusted through our online platform, Filthy Geographic. You can email us your advice and tips for Aotearoa Sex Workers to be added to our feature online!

FINANCIAL STABILITY Set work hours that are realistic for you and take into account other tasks you need to complete outside of work.

Newtown Budgeting and Advocacy services are SWer friendly and have a free financial advisor (they assisted me with budgeting and debt repayments).

Use SWer friendly tax agents like HNRY (an online self-tax agent that has an option for sex work) to keep IRD happy.

www.salient.org.nz

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This also means anything you spend on your own physical self-care, such as manicures, skin-care, lingerie, and toys can be put through as a business expense for your tax refund.

MENTAL and EMOTIONAL Avoid client forums—these are underbelly groups online that attack, grade, berrate sex workers they’ve seen. Creeps usually have a fat uncensored whinge.

Nourish your body with good food and seek support if eating habits become disordered. As sex work revolves around our physical appearance and desirability, it can put a lot of pressure on how we look. Speak about these issues with someone you trust.

Take the time during your bookings to explore your own pleasure. Communicate with your client about what you do and don’t like.

Nourish your body with good food and seek support if eating habits become disordered. As sex work revolves around our physical appearance and desirability, it can put a lot of pressure on how we look.

Masturbate outside of work! Explore a variety of sexual play and learn more about your own body and boundaries.

Prioritise relationships that validate your mahi.

I have had a few relationships that previously negatively affected my work and increased my internalised whorephobia. While it can feel isolating to prioritise yourself, you deserve to find support in your community Have hobbies and outlets outside of sex work.

This could be studying, hiking, watching David Attenborough documentaries, or going out with your mates. Developing boundaries between your personal and work life can seriously help you take the space you need to stay grounded.

Talk to a SWer-friendly therapist about your mental health and wellbeing and take a mental health day if you need one to realign. This is a very intimate realm of work and if you’re not feeling it you can trigger a burnout.

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Depending on if you’re an independent provider or working through an agency/club, you can have a fair amount of control in choosing when you work. Voice concerns with the New Zealand Sex Work Collective (NZPC) about safety, workers’ rights, and available support. They have heaps of resources online! Find them here: www.nzpc.org.nz.

Have a little black book, a journal where you write in after bookings to help process sessions and clients (also helps you not mix up regulars— its never fun asking a client how his non-existent wife is).

You could include their preferred name, time of booking, location, type of booking, length of session, and any notes about their physical description, how the session went, their behaviours and things about them that might help you remember them for the future (I had a client nicknamed ‘Birdman’ because he would mansplain his favourite birds to me).

Have a list of boundaries so you don’t push yourself with stuff you don’t want to be doing.This could include play, kinks and, roleplay that you don’t want to partake in. Maybe you have really ticklish feet and foot worship just isn’t for you. I struggle with clients going down on me, so if I’m not feeling it, I will tell interested clients that I don’t offer that. You never owe clients anything.

PHYSICAL Depending on if you’re working during the day or throughout the night—make sure you balance your time to prioritise rest when you can. Communicate with your flatmates and partners if you need space to rest (noise cancelling headphones help a lot).

Drink lots of water and make sure to ALWAYS pee after sex! (UTIs suck).

Practice staying active outside of work with activities like yoga, running, at-home workouts, and the gym (these also help increase flexibility and stamina). Epsom bath salts really help sore muscles and body aches! In some cases wrestling dominatrixes often train in clubs outside of work that help with technique and safety during their sessions.

Talk transparently to a trusted GP about health concerns (or visit the NZPC’s GP for free and safe health care).

COMMUNITY Check out SWOA (Sex Workers of Aotearoa) for art exhibitions run by SWers for SWers.

Nomenclature corrections, (also for civvies probably best not to use these): • Whore is not a cute word to call yourself if you’re being a slut outside of a sex work context, just be a slut.

• Hoe or ho, which originate from African American Vernacular English (AAVE), are terms that black SWers can reclaim.

• Prostitute is also a verb, not a just noun, so consider whether you want to call yourself one and refrain from using this word for others (it has been used throughout history as a degrading term).

Check in with your friends working at clubs if they’re comfortable with you coming in to watch them dance before you just show up. AND MAKE SURE YOU TIP THEM! They are not dancing for free.

Communicate your boundaries around anonymity with those you tell about your work.

If you have a group chat, make sure that you have everyone’s consent prior to adding others if it includes real names and profiles linking to outside of their work life.

Be mindful of talking about other SWers, be aware of their preferences, and avoid accidentally outing your friends by never using someone’s SWer name interchangeably with their civvie name.

Enhance your sexual literacy with some blogs by other SWers (like Vixen Temple—a dancer in Tāmaki Makaurau) and read up on collectives like Demasque—a kink-centric space: www. demasquemagazine.com.

Have a list of boundaries so you don’t push yourself with stuff you don’t want to be doing. Maybe you have really ticklish feet and foot worship just isn’t for you.

Consume media about sex work and sex in general. Watch the “Migrant Sex Workers” episode of Alice Snedden’s Bad News on RNZ to gain a better understanding of how work is still required within our communities to protect our migrant whānau. After that, watch Juno Mac’s TedTalk titled “The Law That Sex Workers Really Want.” Then read the book The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. It’s also important to strive to understand Aotearoa’s decriminalisation of sex work and how this sits within a global context.

www.salient.org.nz

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What comes next?

Aftercare, Online Dating, and Modern Intimacy Words by Darcy Shaw (she/her) Recently, I was taking a break from studying to mindlessly scroll through TikTok and as I was swiping up and down, I started to notice a recurring trend. These videos started stacking up, each showing different girls laying in bed, arms folded, and glaring at the backs of their partners’ heads.

The captions read: “This mf just railed me and is now playing Clash of Clans.” Interchange the last part of the sentence with “Subway Surfer” or “Wordle” and you get the gist.

What’s missing is aftercare, the idea that giving your partner post-sex reassurance and attention is of equal value as sex. This can be done in any number of ways: having a snack, watching a movie, or enjoying a hearty cuddle. Sex can be both emotionally and physically draining, and aftercare ensures each party is comfortable.

Whilst aftercare should be a given, it is not necessarily the norm.

Even before my TikTok findings, I’d experienced this first-hand. I’d been on multiple dates (some

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courtesy of Tinder) where “Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am” was the set menu. From my experience, one-night stands rarely resulted in aftercare, and online dates mostly ended in regret.

Whilst the TikToks did not surprise me, they did make me wonder: Could the lack of aftercare be a product of modern dating, where potential hookups are “in your area,” and can be consumed and forgotten as easily as an app? Has modern sex become transactional?

Many of our human instincts have already been reconditioned through technology. Want to eat?

There’s an app for that. Need to sleep? There’s an app for that. I can’t remember the last time I woke up without my phone alarm. Sex is no different. Online dating is one example of how our perception of sex is changing in modern times, with potential partners only a swipe away, and romance beginning with a “hey, wyd?”

Whilst online dating has encouraged sexual liberation, when apps are aligned with easy access

to sex, emotional intimacy and aftercare goes out the window. Are we going to meet Tinder dates with the goal of human connection, or is online dating a trade-in for sex?

The online dating ritual of accepting or rejecting someone based on how attractive you find them is obviously objectifying, but it is also damaging to the person swiping. Separating a face from a mind, sex from emotion, and a glowing screen from a real person alienates both parties.

seeing casually, but I don’t think aftercare has to be an expression of love. Aftercare could be a way of showing respect to your sexual partner as a whole human being instead of individual parts.

It allows time for people to connect in a way that reminds them of who they are having sex with. Not a body or a name on the screen, but an individual who deserves human connection outside of a blue chatbox.

So, how do we emotionally connect after sex when the process itself has become so transactional?

If we could normalise aftercare not only in relationships, but in one-night stands or Tinder dates, it could change the landscape of how we value one another.

For many, the idea of aftercare might feel overly intimate, especially if it’s with somebody you’re

Aftercare may be a new concept for many, so it’s hard to know where to start.

www.salient.org.nz

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Depending on the relationship between you and your sexual partner, here are a few different examples of aftercare: For a one night stand, check-in with how they’re feeling over a cuddle or a cup of tea. If it feels a little awkward, you could watch a movie together to connect and ease any discomfort. Take your time, you’re still getting to know each other.

Maybe you’ve been seeing each other on and off for a while but are still keeping boundaries in place? Bonding over a common interest (except sex) like a video game, TV series, or a crossword puzzle could be a fun reminder of your friendship.

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If you and your partner are in a more serious relationship, something more physically intimate, such as a bath, a massage, or splurging on an UberEats order, could be the way to connect.

Aftercare reminds us that emotional intimacy doesn’t have to end when physical intimacy does.

So, you want to go on your phone after sex? Hell yeah. Perhaps next time you open TikTok after doing the dirty, having a cuddle and collective scroll through the mind-numbing app could be a way to close that divide. Workshop a few forms of aftercare, and see what works for you.

Or just put down your phone, bro. There’s a naked woman in your bed.

LAUNCH WEEK

2ND - 6TH MAY

ODE TO OSHUN, TOMMIE LOVE & MWEWA, 2022.

Pascal someone told me if i were an animal, i would be a chameleon one of those transformative, mutable creatures cause we all know they change colour, and i dyed my hair like five times this year. the san diego zoo website said they have “fast firing tongues” cause they eat insects that speed around i think i’ve only eaten insects in my sleep but my words fly out of my mouth and burn faster than i can stifle their flame a different kind of ignition. there’s one kind called the namaqua they dig holes in the ground to protect themselves from the desert’s intense day heat and the night’s biting cold but they bask in the sun until it gets too hot, anyway almost on the edge of burning every day there’s something so admirable about how they keep on coming back to the light. chameleon tails can’t regrow like other lizards tails can they need it to climb, curl around branches and, god, when my heart breaks it feels like it’ll never be healed again. their tails are prehensile meant to keep a grip, keep them safe from falling i don’t think there’s a thing about me that doesn’t want to hold on.

- Kat Rowan

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Imagined heterosexuality with you, my ex who won’t stop calling In one daydream I pour water over the freshly made lasagne (that you clearly don’t appreciate) before you can even dig in and before you can blink I am over at the neighbour’s making you my cuckold In another I slock you over the head with an ornamental clock (shaped like The Thinker) which was always our sexiest bedroom weapon watch the blood drip down your cheek, my aproned curves in the reflection of your eyes Maybe we’ll get married, settle down in Remuera, have two kids, a cat named Bagel you’re sure my pussy is baggier and a million small violences are done to me on the daily: you leave the seat up we watch Inception for the seventh time you leave the laundry to get wet on the line our son takes up slut-shaming his classmates I hold my tongue and never open the oven while the soufflé rises in the bedroom you ask me please to start calling you daddy and your body sloshes against mine until our shared repulsion for you kills us - Lily Holloway

www.salient.org.nz

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Your best options are an known as intrauterine system (IUS— mbined Mirena or Jaydess), the co bly a contraceptive pill, or possi ini” pill. progesterone-only or “m

Your best options are an intrauterine device (either a Copper IUD, or an IUS such as Mirena or Jaydess), an implant (known as Jaydelle), or the depo injection.

ll at wi h t e ptiv get trace o away, l. n o c sg ta infu I wan y period e less pa m m make , or beco r lighte

Your choices are the emergency pill (also known as the “morning after pill”) or the copper IUD. I want a contraceptive that can be used in an emergency (i.e. I have had sex and am not on regular contraception).

I want a contraception that can last for months or years.

What Contraception Is Right for Me?

Your options include a combined contraceptive pill or a progesteroneonly pill (also known as the “mini” pill).

I want a pill I can take daily.

Words by Mauri Ora—Student Health

I want a contraceptive method that doesn’t contain hormones.

Your options are condoms or the copper IUD.

I am prone to migraines that affect my vision, speech, sensation. or co-ordination.

I have a strong family history of blood clots, strokes, or breast cancer (at an early age).

If yes, you may ^not be able to safely use a combined contraceptive pill

I want a permanent contraceptive.

You may ^not be able to safely use a combined contraceptive pill.

Acne is an issue for me.

I want protection against STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections).

If you definitely don’t ever want to become pregnant, your best option is sterilisation. This is available for anyone, but for younger people your doctor will likely want you to try other options before deciding that this is the right option for you.

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The ONLY contraceptive that offers reliable protection against a range of STIs (though sadly not all STIs) is the condom! We would encourage condom use alongside a reliable contraceptive—one prevents infection and one prevents pregnancy.

Certain types of pill can be helpful for this, in addition to acting as a contraceptive.

How reliable are the current contraceptive options?

Using no contraception at all:

≈ 85% ≈ Approximately < Less Than

The implant (Jadelle), a copper IUD, a Mirena, or a Jaydess:

Injections:

The combined contraceptive pill or a progesterone-only pill (the “mini pill”):

Condoms:

<1%

≈ 3%

≈ 8%

15%

(with “typical use” not “perfect use”).

(with “typical use”as there is a lot of room for error and accidents with condom use).

there is no “user error” with these methods.

How much do contraceptives cost?

At Mauri Ora, visits for domestic enrolled students are free; international students may be charged (see our website for more details on fees).

If you want to discuss your contraceptive choices, book an appointment with one of our team—any of our doctors or nurses can talk to you about the different options and help you figure out which one may suit you best. Alternatively you can visit Family Planning—see their website for information on services and fees www.familyplanning.org.nz.

If you want to have a copper IUD, a Mirena, or a Jaydess, there is no charge for this if it is carried out at our clinic. Injections and implants are also free.

If you opt for condoms, you can get up to 144 prescribed by one of our team—this will cost a $5 prescription charge only.

Most types of pill (combined and progesterone-only/”mini”) cost $5 for 3–6 months supply, but there are one or two options that are more expensive (e.g. Yasmin and Cerazette).

Good resources (if you don’t want to reinvent the wheel) are: www.brook.org.uk/topics/contraception www.familyplanning.org.nz/advice/contraception www.justthefacts.co.nz (for great info on STIs, condoms, and sexual health) www.salient.org.nz

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Album Review:

HyperKunt by Hybrid Rose Words by James Russell (she/her) Wellington’s own Hybrid Rose is back and this time the bush is blooming. Emerging from the synth-pop bubble that brought her success with the futuristic “Video Games” comes brand new album HyperKunt: a Kim Petras-esque buffet of early 2000s glitzy, glamorous sugar-pop, with a healthy dose of Rose’s familiar techno notes to awaken the inner IT-girl in you.

Dripping with sass and a hip-thumping bassline, album opener “Dial Tone” instantly conveys a thematic ‘confident but oh-so-bored-ofyou’ attitude in the form of a two minute fuck-off voicemail. Tracks like the addictive “I Want It All” deliver delicious odes to Paris Hilton, with lyrics like “sipping on martinis… looking hot, loves it” conjuring up a pop dreamworld of Lamborghinis, Juicy tracksuits, and partying with Lindsay Lohan. The album features various collaborations, with the likes of San Francisco-born Hazel Rose serving a glitchy rap verse on the dizzying “Vanilla Beam”, as well as fellow Kiwi Jason Parker on “Gorgeous”, whose whiny lip is rivalled only by Hybrid Rose herself.

The entirety of HyperKunt manages to capture the infectious fun and vibrancy of all her pop-star influences, ranging from Lady Gaga to Marina, and the lyrics are a campy, flirtatious spin on her personal life. The combination of sugary art-pop, classic LGBTQ+ culture references (“Paris burning in this bitch”) and shimmery electronic synths perfectly accentuate the singer/producer’s expanse of abilities.

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Tucked in the centre of the record is the transgender pop-star’s latest solo single “Fantasy”, a sexy phone call-inspired track that sets you up with an electronic chatbot. Over glittery tones and a trademark bubblegum pop beat, the lyrics of “Fantasy” explore the concept of morphing yourself into somebody else’s greatest desires… “I can transform into whoever you want me to be… you will never get to meet me”. It’s sensual, it’s sweet, it’s a certified pop bop that you’ll be singing forever.

“Stars in the Sea” rounds out the album at a lengthy five minutes long. This soft tune is less over-thetop than the rest, and the lyrics are a gentle self-reassurance—“an angel without a halo, but like Luna, I still glow.”

But never fear, “Stars” still provides a satisfying breathlessness in its anticipatory pulsing as the song slowly rises in tempo. It culminates in a repetitive mantra—“I could be your dream, enticing to see, star of the sea”—that feels like floating as the sound fades away.

Hybrid Rose’s latest album is beautifully coated in a bold, self-assured charm, and oozing with all the sweet sex appeal of the early aughts. Full of clubworthy party tunes and charismatic, campy lyrics, it’s a shiny hyperpop dream. Want a taste? Straighten your hair, whip out that old pink lipgloss, and open up your Spotify, because the brand new HyperKunt is streaming now.

MAY 8, 2022 T ’ N A C O H W E S O H T R O F RUN RLD O W E H T R E V O L L E TIME A M A S E H T T A R E H TOGET JOIN US NOW

A Slut’s Sketchbook

Words by Van Cum and Gogh

Te Papa provided the art supplies for this one. It looks like a person, but it doesn’t look like me. I expected more from someone who was a graphic designer themselves.

The drawing was followed up by making out under the table in the earthquake house.

It’s a pretty shit butterfly but he gets one point for effort.

He was an expert at physical affection and would have received full points… but he moved to Australia.

He gets this score just for effort, as this drawing was completed without him looking at the page.

He was super generous in paying for our dinner and drinks.

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I often find myself sorting through the plethora of junk that finds its way into my space. Recently, I found a bundle of… well, unique sketches. These drawings had been created by sexual partners who I had sweettalked into picking up a pencil, pen, or paintbrush. I’m a visual artist and engaging in creative activities has always been a go-to date idea for me—it’s low effort, low cost, and a ton of fun.

I present to you my review of these sexual masterpieces and the humble artists who made them. I hope this article inspires you to incorporate your passions into your dating life.

Kudos to him for confidently painting with me on a , this piece has been enjoyed by everyone that’s entered my room since.

We weren’t sexually compatible but he still sells me drugs.

The artist was intoxicated but managed to make this strange depiction of a sausage dog somehow slightly charming.

He was the first man to make me orgasm, so he gets points for that.

While the piece displays true artisanship and deserves a three, I had to subtract two points because it’s lowkey scary

He told me, “I love eating women out.”

www.salient.org.nz

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LIVE, LAUGH, LAV An Introduction Words by Lav (she/her)

Have a question or need some advice? Send all your queries to loveandsexsalient@gmail.com My lovelorn readers, my heartbroken allies, my sexually frustrated, confused, and misunderstood fellows.

Welcome to my column. The designated space for us to talk dirty and be vulnerable. Are you excited?

I am.

I want to be here for you to hold your proverbial hand as you try to make sense of your feelings, hopes, worries, and desires. If you have questions, I have answers.

I’ve been obsessed with learning, unlearning, and relearning all things love and sex for as long as I remember. I am embarrassed to admit that, at the age of 14, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus was glued to my hand as I devoured what I thought was gospel.* This book was just the beginning, and when I wasn’t reading self-help books, I was scouring Reddit pages and journal articles, got a degree in Psychology and studied sexual histories. I needed to not only know and understand, but be the breathing, walking, intimate relationship know-it-all I was always destined to be.

I’ve read almost everything from everywhere, and put SO MUCH to the test it’s almost embarrassing.

After all this, I’ve come to my own conclusions, but continue to pursue learning with a curious and open mind. I don’t necessarily buy into much of the media I have indulged in for the last 14 years.

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Ultimately, what I strongly believe is that we are all humans with a deep need for connection and acceptance.

So… I call to you to send me stories and requests for advice on any and all to do with matters of the heart, the brain, and the genitals. I am here to teach you how to Live, Laugh and Love your way to better relationships and better sex. My aim is to cut through the bullshit of what we think we “should” do, think, feel, or say, and maybe give you tools to actually make the right decisions for YOU, using self-reflection, honesty, and a sprinkling of vulnerability. Ultimately, I hope my column gives you sanity and lucidity. And maybe better sex too.

And before you go, here is a quick piece of advice: Respect is a must. It is the bare minimum. Mutual respect in fights, in sex, in casual hook-ups, in love, and, frankly, ANY INTERACTION is an absolute number one requirement. You must remember to respect others even if they don’t see eye to eye with you. If you’re having to ask for respect, or aren’t getting it, come to terms that the person you’re with is not in a position to meet your bare minimums.

Give yourself that respect and move on.

Lots of Lav x *It’s really fucking not. I no longer subscribe to these reductive teachings, you’d be happy to hear.

Salient’s Sex Playlists Good Sex Sounds Like … Salient

Feeling Sexy & Salient

Salient asked you what songs you listened to during sex - the verdict is in.

Salient asked you what songs make you feel sexy the verdict is in.

The Hills - the Weeknd

Honey - Raveena

Get You - Daniel Caesar and Kali Uchis

Tia Tamera - Doja Cat and Rico Nasty

34+35 - Ariana Grande

Let It Happen - Kevin Parker and Tame Impala

Juicy - Doja Cat

Milk - The 1975

Hot In Here - Nelly

She - Harry Styles

Lights Up - Harry Styles

Devil In A New Dress - Kanye West and Rick Ross

Girl In New York - Role Model

Grown Woman - Beyonce

Heroin - Lana Del Ray

Roses - Outkast

Girl - The Internet

XS - Rina Sawayama

Friday Morning - Khruangbin

Hold Me - Fleetwood Mac

Call Out My Name - The Weeknd

Doves In The Wind - SZA and Kendrick Lamar

Call It Fate, Call It Karma - The Strokes

The Louvre - Lorde

Lying Is The Most Fun - Panic! At The Disco

Way 2 Sexy - Drake, Future and Young Thug

Kiss U Right Now - Duckwrth

A Burning Hill - Mitski

Movement - Hozier

Honourable mentions go to Fuck The Pain Away

by Peaches, and White Ferrari by Frank Ocean “for a sad cummy wank”

Exchange - Bryson Tiller Novacane - Frank Ocean

www.salient.org.nz

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My most coming-of-age experience has been producing a sex podcast; my first time being able to blend work and passion and the first time I have felt confident being utterly vulnerable.

It all started with the wonderful Sarah Saunders (@visceralangel on Insta). I was feeling especially brave when she posted a story saying she wanted to start a podcast, so I replied. I felt especially honoured when she wanted to employ me to produce and edit it for her.

Sarah, who is just over a year older than me but beautifully wise beyond her years, wanted to start The Oversharers podcast as a platform to explore all things intimacy and sexuality. The podcast was a way for Sarah, Meg (the co-host), and I to feel comfortable sharing, but also encourage others to share as well.

Being between the ages of eighteen and twenty, it was a crucial time for us to understand ourselves and our feelings toward sexuality, and how that affects our identity and mental wellbeing.

We received an amazing amount of support and praise for being so visceral and deep-diving into the taboo. It was refreshing to feel that we were making even a smidgen of a difference within our little Oversharer community. We continued the podcast over Skype in the first lockdown, and each recording session felt therapeutic. The podcast made us feel a little less alone while learning how to live in isolation.

We also had some wonderful guests: from brave and beautiful friends, flatmates, and sex experts, to Georgina Beyer, Chloe Swarbrick, and Reece Mastin. We learnt so much and grew so much confidence.

It is okay to talk about sex. It should be encouraged! Understanding what sexuality means to you is a crucial part of life, and the safest way to experience sex is to communicate about it.

I’m a little biassed, but I will always promote podcasting as a way to allow yourself to be authentically vulnerable. Opening up to the world and allowing people to see who you truly are is extremely liberating, and I encourage everyone to find an outlet to express themselves.

The Oversharers is no longer on Spotify, but check the Instagram @theoversharerspodcast if you’re interested in seeing the wonder it was. I hope to re-upload it in the future.

Fran xx

www.salient.org.nz

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Getting PrEP-ared Information provided by Mauri Ora—Student Health This Sex Week, Manawa Ora—Student Wellbeing and Mauri Ora—Student Health want to make sure that you are all PrEP-ared for whatever comes your way as part of this wonderful week celebrating healthy and consensual sex practices.

PrEP (Pre-exposure Prophylaxis) is a medication (in the form of a tablet) that can stop the transmission of HIV via sex by 99% (if taken daily). PrEP is fully funded for people who meet certain criteria (and can be self-funded by those who don’t). To see if you meet these criteria for PrEP, have a look at the New Zealand Aids Foundation’s eligibility tool on their website.

PrEP can be prescribed by Mauri Ora—Student Health Service and is easy to access. To get started on PrEP or to discuss whether it’s right for you, just book a ‘Nurse PrEP appointment’ with Student Health. Being on PrEP requires three monthly STI tests and blood tests but is otherwise a straightforward process. Check out NZAF for more details and visit Mauri Ora if you think PrEP might be viable for your sexual health.

Screening, for everyone’s pleasure Why do I need a sexual health screen though? I feel fine!

Well, glad you asked! Aotearoa is leading the pack... in sexually transmitted infections (STIs) compared to similar countries such as Australia and the United Kingdom.

For those of you under 25, you are a part of the largest group of reported chlamydia infections out of every age group. Best Practice Advocacy Service found that under-25s account for a whopping *70% of all cases*. Chlamydia is

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also the most commonly reported STI nationally, followed by gonorrhoea, then genital warts, herpes, and syphilis.

It is worth noting, of course, that these are only the reported cases, and getting down to it with protection is still the most effective way for you and your partners to stay safe.

Getting a screen can be nerve-wracking— especially if you haven’t had one before. For a lot of us, the nitty gritty about sexual health and all the ways to maintain safer sex practices were things we were far too embarrassed to properly pay attention to in year 10 sex-ed. Not to mention, the reality of intermediate and high school puberty/ sex education was profoundly heteronormative (and sometimes abstinance-focussed). The time you spend at uni can be a rapid propellant into these parts of adult life. The overhanging cloud of childhood/pre-teen awkwardness around sex can often prevent people from adding sexual health check-ups to their life admin to-do list. It’s okay to feel apprehensive or embarrassed but it’s important you don’t let this stop you from following through.

Bring a friend along—don’t worry, they don’t need to be down the action end of things. You can also check to see if your situation allows for a self-swab STI test instead. Your sexual health is as important to your overall wellbeing as your physical, or mental health.

Okay you’ve convinced me, what now?

The best way to make sure that you keep sexually healthy is by getting regular sexual health screens at your local practice. For Victoria University of Wellington students, enquire at Mauri Ora, Family Planning, a sexual health clinic, or NZAF to see which is best suited for you!

On Decolonising Porn Words by Reni Broughton (she/her, Ngaruahine, Ngāti Tuwharetoa and Ngāti Ruanui)

Have you ever looked at your porn choices and asked yourself, “What in the caucacity!?”

Like many teen girlies with repressed sexuality and a love of reading, Wattpad and spicy romance novels were my Pornhub. Even though someone else wrote the words, every scene happened in my mind and I controlled the fantasy. I changed details, turning every “honey blonde, button nose, blue-eyed, and milky skinned” heroine into a big nose, curly-haired, pukana eyed, caramello māori girl—it’s me, I tried to make myself the heroine.

Still, eventually, my version of the character always returned to white. My spicy novels never featured indigenous main characters.

When trying actual Pornhub, I found myself saddled with questions: First, why do straight men not make noise during sex? Is it unsexy to sound like you’re enjoying sex? Second (a toxic second), why is there something about porn that makes getting off a little less fun and a little more colonial gaze-y?

Perhaps it’s the absence of brown and indigenous bodies in porn? Or maybe it’s because porn with non-white people in it seems to indulge in stereotyping and fetishisation (see bbc and hentai) rather than empowerment? Maybe it’s exploiting people for gain that gives porn that big fat colonial ick? This industry stinks of caucacity—built on colonial and capitalist frameworks that dictate our bodies are to be exploited, objectified, and neglected. Even though I enjoy my smut and spice, something about these interactions with porn makes me feel… Undesirable? Unsexy? Invisible and disempowered?

As a brown, māori, queer woman actively indigenising my world and affirming my sexiness and sexuality (to myself lol), I want to be able to enjoy porn without feeling like I’m getting off or contributing to the white man’s fantasy. Porn can and should be an opportunity to explore sex and sexuality in healthy and empowering ways. As māori explore decolonising sexuality, surely what follows is exploring how we decolonise porn too?

In decolonising our porn, we forge a space to explore sex and sexuality in culturally grounded ways. Our oral histories already talk a lot about sex and sexuality, so what would our porn look like if allowed to flourish? How would our attitudes toward how we have sex change if our porn is grounded in mātauranga? Perhaps, our porn would have richer, more fulfilling storylines (that don’t involve the ill-written step-bro trope)? The existence of takatāpui and inclusion of diverse genders and sexualities in Te Ao Māori indicate that decolonised porn would also be made for and enjoyed by all genders—straight men, this means you can have noisy, enjoyable sex now!

I don’t have answers to exactly what decolonised porn looks like but there is something wildly sexy in imagining what decolonised porn could look like and how it could make us feel. I genuinely hope a few of us get off to the thought of decolonised porn enough to make it into reality. That’s super hot.

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SUDOKUWEB

Word of the Week: Sex SUDOKU

Te Reo Māori: ai, ekeeke, onioni

1 7

New Zealand Sign Language:

3

4

6 2 8

8

7

6 1

1 5 7

8

7

2 6 3

7 5 2 8

2

4 5 8 1 9

1 7 5 3

6

2 4

• First select a number/operator and than apply it to a sudoku cell.

WEEK 6 ANSWERS

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PRIMARY INDUSTRIES CROSSWORD

ACROSS

DOWN

1. Seafood restaurant used by Beyonce as a reward for good sex, according to “Formation” (3,7)

1. At a quick pace (7)

6. It’s the westernmost of the USA’s overseas territories (4)

3. Starts the bidding (5)

10. French chemist Louis who invented vaccination (7) 11. Looked briefly (7) 12. Animal plays them on The Muppet Show (5) 13. False name; alias (9) 14. Vessel on which the Beatles “live a life of ease” (6,9) 18. Hurtful or insulting (9) 20. Supermodel Klum who hosted Project Runway until 2017 (5) 21. From Shenzhen or Shanghai, say (7)

2. Kicking out of the competition (13)

4. There are thirteen on the flag of the USA, and seven on a pool table (7) 5. Bald or golden bird (5) 7. Without any caveats, like love or a deal (13) 8. Device that provides you with internet access (5) 9. Bullock of Gravity (6) 15. Spoke in Pig Latin? (6) 16. Use one’s lungs (7) 17. Janhavi Gosavi and other people with the same job (7)

22. Setting for Turning Red and Scott Pilgrim (7)

18. Award that Questlove won a few weeks ago that nobody remembers because of that whole Chris Rock and Will Smith thing (5)

23. Wrath; fury (4)

19. Perfect (5)

24. Massive sea creatures whose age is best determined by their earwax (4,6)

20. Unfair; grating (5)

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Aries Mars is in Pisces, so you can expect to be feeling overly emotional for absolutely no reason. Ran out of bread? Cry. Friend took five minutes too long to respond? Cry. Raining? Cry.

Cancer The eclipse at the end of the week is going to show you who your real friends are. It’s always uncomfortable letting people go, but you’re better off without whoever the stars are warning you against.

Libra You’re going to find a new hobby this week, but don’t expect it to be something ordinary. Expect niche and obscure. Not necessarily glassduck collecting, but something of a similar vibe.

Capricorn Sweet Capricorn, I know it’s been a struggle recently. It’s been hard to see the overall picture and every day has felt hard. But I promise, this week onward, you’ll find your day-to-day

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Taurus Good times with your mates are ahead but Neptune is stopping concrete plans. Everybody is going to be available at totally different times and you might go a bit wild trying to get them all together.

Leo You’ve been super busy recently which definitely isn’t a bad thing.

Enjoy a week of brief peace before things start picking up for real.

Trust me, the hardest hasn’t passed yet...

Scorpio Expect big changes. Expect mixed emotions. Expect good. Expect bad. This week is going to be a lot of things but boring is definitely not one of them. Which is good.

And bad.

Aquarius The eclipse can only mean annoying things for your home.

Could be pipes bursting, could be a leaky tap. God forbid, it could even be your flatmate using all the hot water. For shame.

Gemini Stop living up to your stereotype, Gemini. Not everything is a performance and you won’t die if you let people see your authentic self occasionally. You can be shy, just don’t be fake.

Virgo Is all the extra responsibility falling on your shoulders again? Typical.

They always give the extra work to the Virgo. You’re being crushed by all the compounded small tasks.

Stop saying “yes” every time!

Sagittarius I bet you had a good-ass break.

We see you, all smiley and shit.

Probably feeling motivated for the second half of tri. Try to let that motivation last more than your usual two days.

Pisces Recently things have been good for you and people can see the difference. Don’t worry.

You don’t have to keep making self-important Instagram posts.

You’re the only one who actually enjoys them.

THE SALIENT TEAM YOU CAN THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR YOUR WEEKLY FIX.

Editor Janhavi Gosavi

News Editor Beth Mountford

News Editor Azaria Howell

Designer Alice Brown

Chief Reporter Ethan Manera

Sub-Editor Lily Holloway

Features Editor Ronia Ibrahim

Staff Writer Bridget Scott

Staff Writer Maia Ingoe

Staff Writer Zoe Mills

CENTREFOLD ARTIST

Photography by Tommie Love (love.tommie) Model Mwewa (mw3wa) Hair & Makeup by Mwewa, Dress by Tommie & Mwewa.

Social Media Manager Seren Ashmore

Podcast Manager Francesca Pietkiewicz

Website Manager Annalise Scott

Contact Us features@salient.org.nz poetry@salient.org.nz editor@salient.org.nz designer@salient.org.nz chiefreporter@salient.org.nz news@salient.org.nz

CONTRIBUTORS

A big warm thank you to these talented people for their contribution to this week’s issue.

Cileme Venkateswar

Puck

Darcy Shaw

Reni Broughton

Kat Rowan

The Filthy Geographic

Lav

Naimh Vaughn

James Russell

Joanna Fan

Jolenna Deo

Stella Wilson

www.salient.org.nz

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