23 - Politics

Volume 74 Issue 23 03 October 2011

Issue 23 Politics

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salient.org.nz

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Sam Northcott

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itter! on Tw zine! e ’r e W aga entm @sali

Like S a Faceb lient on o people ok! 2039 wron can’t be g!

L Ross Jackson DENTAL SURGEON

Level 4 Baldwins Centre 342 Lambton Quay Wellington Phone/fax: 499-1769 Email: lrjackson@xtra.co.nz

The Team

Editors: Uther Dean & Elle Hunt editor@salient.org.nz Designer: Dan Hutchinson designer@salient.org.nz News Editor: Stella Blake-Kelly news@salient.org.nz Chief Reporter: Natalie Powlesland natalie@salient.org.nz Feature Writer: Selina Powell selina@salient.org.nz Feature Writer: Zoe Reid zoe@salient.org.nz Chief Sub-Editor: Carlo Salizzo carlo@salient.org.nz Arts Editor: Louise Burston arts@salient.org.nz

Contributors

23 POLITICS

Issue 23 Politics

The Regular Bits Dinocop 2 Editorial 4 Ngai Tauira 6 The News 7 The Week That Wasn’t

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LOL News 13 Overheard @ Vic 13 Faces to Deface 31 Notices 43 Letters 44 Puzzles 46 Therapy with the Vampire

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Hayley Adams, Auntie Sharon, Kurt Barber, Alex Braae, Seamus Brady, David Burr, Paul Comrie-Thomson, Constance Cravings, Thomas Coughlan, Andrew Donnelly, Martin Doyle, Ben Wylievan Eerd, Asher Emanuel, Ally Garrett, Adam Goodall, Jason Govenlock, Ryan Hammond, Gerard Hoffman, Dylan Jauslin, Rob Kelly, Robyn Kenealey, Vincent Konrad, Gerald Lee, Sarita Lewis, Renee Lyons, Merrin MacLeod, Molly McCarthy, Ollie Neas, Angharad O'Flynn, Sam Northcott, Charles Panic, Stuart Peters, Sam Phillips, Romany Tasker-Poland, Josh Van Veen, Edward Warren, Doc Watson, Wellington Campaign For MMP, Jordan Williams, Angus Winter, Nicola Wood, Ta'ase Vaoga and Anna Zabielski.

Comics

Contributors of the week

Mana Party 23

All Over the Place

The Features ACT Party 15 Labour Party 16 National Party 20 United Future 22

Renee Lyons for doing the dishes, Gerald Lee for giving us chocolate, and Alex McArthur for going halves on Elle's giant shark blimp with Seamus.

Green Party 24

About Us

Referendum Head-to-Head 26

Salient is produced by independent student journalists, employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of, syndicated and supported by the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). It is printed by APN Print of Tauranga.

Opinions expressed are not necessarily representative of those of ASPA, VUWSA, Printcorp, or We are the University, but we of Salient are proud of our beliefs and take full responsibility for them.

Contact

NZ First 25 The Revolution Will Be Live

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The Columns VUWSA Prez 5 VUWSA Campaigns Officer

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VUWSA Welfare Officer

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VUWSA Student Media Centre Level 3, Student Union Building Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington Phone: 04 463 6766 Email: editor@salient.org.nz

Politics with Paul 14

Advertising

Peas & Queues 34

Contact: Howard Pauling Phone: 04 463 6982 Email: sales@vuwsa.org.nz

Other

Subscriptions: Too lazy to walk to uni to pick up a copy of your favourite mag? We can post them out to you for a nominal fee. $40 for Vic student, $55 for everyone else. Please send an email containing your contact details with ‘subscription’ in the subject line to editor@salient.org.nz This issue is dedicated to VUWSA's two fallen BBQs, and Publications Committee representative candidate Zanian Steele.

Seriously. We're glad you value our independence.

And Uther's weekly advice: Listen, I know you want to make stuff.

Creation is an important act for the human psyche. But you have to remember that content has to come before form. You have to have something to say. Having a camera is not enough to make you a photographer or videographer. Having a blog is not enough to make you a writer. Having a photo that you have to take or a video you have to make or a story you have to tell does. Stop taking photos of your feet while calling it art, start expressing yourself rather doing an impression of other people's creativity.

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Healthy Minds on Campus

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Animal of the Week

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Failure to Communicate

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Constance Cravings 34 I Am Offended Because...

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Beer Will Be Beer

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Lovin’ From the Oven

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The Arts Music 36 Theatre 37 Books 38 Visual Arts 39 Film 40 Games 41

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

GUEST Editorial

OLLIE NEAS & Asher Emanuel, Salient co-editors 2012

Universities have always been the home of youth activism.

Numerous valiant causes have found their roots in the dedication and resourcefulness of students. But one could be forgiven for not knowing precisely what the latest series of demonstrations held across Victoria University have been about.

These protests have been held by a group named ‘We are the University’.

They oppose changes and cutbacks to a number of University departments, such as the School of Political Science and International Relations; reject voluntary student membership; and want to sack Pat Walsh. The main cause of grievance is a perceived lack of transparency and consultation between the University administration and the student body. This is fair.

The issue is, however, that the methods by which this group has expressed its views have been antagonistic. It has jeopardised the ability for any real progress to be made in reaching a workable solution between the University and students. Considering the emphasis ‘We are the University’ places on consultation, it is strange that they have ignored so many opportunities to engage with the University. They did not attend the special council meeting on tuition fees, nor did they address the Academic Board the day after their ‘occupy the University’ meeting in August. They have disrupted meetings rather than participated in them, preferring to write a vapid letter to Pat Walsh than make an evidence-based submission to the University. It is nonsense to complain that the consultation procedures are a “farce” when one hasn’t been bothered to engage with them. It almost seems the organisation is more interested in having protests than getting things done. That is disappointing.

Almost no attempt has been made to work alongside VUWSA and Salient, both of which are organisations better placed to ascertain the concerns of all students. VUWSA, for instance, has representatives in 94 per cent of classes. It was not until organisers Amanda Thomas and Sam Oldham responded separately to a published article last week that there was any attempt to begin a formal dialogue with students via Salient.

Nonetheless, ‘We are the University’ claims a mandate from the whole student body. This seems dubious considering their Wednesday meetings have consisted of around 30 people. Their Facebook page has around 200 ‘Likes’, and features threats of violent retribution directed at the Minister of Tertiary Education, Steven Joyce. It is heavy partisan undertones such as this, as well as counter-productive protests, that alienate a large portion of the student body who might otherwise agree with the group’s fundamental message. There are few better ways of antagonising the administration and undermining one’s cause than by storming the Hunter Building, sitting in the Vice-Chancellor’s office, and writing a list of ‘demands’. Perhaps ‘We are the University’ could better describe themselves as ‘We are the Medium-Sized Collective of Students Who Have a Reactionary Tendency Against Authority and a Predilection for Protest’. It doesn’t have the same ring to it, but at least it’s accurate.

The group’s repeated demands for the dismissal of Pat Walsh suggests that if the current Vice-Chancellor is removed from office, all of these problems will be solved. This is ignoring the wider pressures placed upon Pat Walsh and all tertiary providers throughout New Zealand. The budgets of tertiary institutions are increasingly limited by the current Government’s education policies—specifically, the Tertiary Education Commission’s capped funding scheme. The reality is that tertiary institutions have to strike an ever more difficult balance between fees and course offerings, and it is misdirected to blame this on one individual. Let’s be honest: there is no vast conspiracy in the administration to bring about the “death of tertiary education”.

Compromise with regards to fee rises and restructuring is essential in the current tertiary funding environment. To achieve this, we need to begin a conversation with them, rather than shouting at them.

‘We are the University’ are right: without the students, the University is nothing. But if we do want the University to be more responsive to the desires of students, there are other more inclusive, more productive and more positive ways of doing so. We can do better.

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Issue 23 Politics

Prez Col

Campaigns Officer Josh Van Veen

Twenty eleven

Seamus Brady president@vuwsa.org.nz vuwsa.org.nz facebook.com/vuwsa

Welcome to the best student magazine in the country!

Congratulations to Elle and Uther and everyone else who has been involved this year for their triumph at the ASPAs. As VUWSA’s 'official newspaper', you can understand how delightfully chuffed we are with the achievements of Salient.

Last week Parliament passed the ACT Party’s VSM legislation. This should not have happened.

Unfortunately students no longer have the ability to ensure that there is a mandated students’ association on their campus. There will be no choice for students on campuses where the institution decides it doesn’t want a students’ association holding them to account.

Vic students are however fortunate, because VUWSA will survive and will remain a strong voice for students here. It will be challenging, but we will continue to work to improve your academic experience and continue to provide you with great things here at Vic. VUWSA is working hard to ensure our sustainability in the new environment.

We have been working solidly with our Trust and the University for the last year to ensure that when VSM does arrive we will have positive,

sustainable students’ association at Vic. It is not all sorted yet though, and we have been given very little time to prepare for reasons beyond our control. We will be looking to confirm both a new representative structure and a new funding model in the very near future – both of which you will be able to have your say on.

This would have happened soon, except the Government’s recently announced Student Services Levy regulations have put a spanner in the works. This will see a new round of consultation with students on what services should be funded. More details of this will be known in the coming week or two.

The VSM law passed last week will have to change. It ignores the views of students, institutions, NGOs and other groups of civil society.

It does not understand the special nature of students’ associations and does not protect the interests of students. Every party except ACT and National have committed to repeal it and replace it with a more fair and rational alternative. NZUSA, the national students’ association, has begun its work ensuring the law is fixed in the future.

On a happier note, congratulations to Bridie Hood and the rest of the team elected for 2012.

Bridie has performed exceptionally and achieved many things as Vice-President (Education) over the past two years and I have huge confidence that she do a brilliant job as President. She will also be supported by an extremely capable and talented Executive who will help guide VUWSA through what will be a challenging year. And thank you to everyone who took the time to give their thoughts on the proposed 2012-2015 Strategic Plan—this alongside plans for VUWSA in the new environment will put VUWSA in a strong position to continue to advance the interests of students for another 112 years.

Seamus Brady PREZ

will be remembered as one of the most excruciating years for student associations.

After almost two years of debate, ACT MP Heather Roy’s VSM bill is set to become law.

As I write this, the House is preparing to pass the Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill through its third and final reading. Despite trenchant opposition from its critics, VSM has come to pass with barely a mutter or a murmur from the vast majority of students. What exactly this will mean for student politics in the years to come, I’m not sure.

But despite the pending doom, a surprising number of candidates opted to stand in the VUWSA general election last week. Although, as I write this, the rate of turnout is less than certain, early indications suggest it will probably be no less than in previous years. Civic engagement at Vic is not (quite) dead yet.

Still, it is worrying that almost a third of 18- to 24-year-olds are not yet enrolled to vote in the New Zealand General Election.

I suspect apathy at the national level is inextricably linked to apathy on campus.

Whereas once political rhetoric mobilised the masses, it seems to have the reverse effect these days.

Writing in Salient last week, Conrad Reyners argued that this insipid state of affairs could be attributed to the demise of ideology. We no longer see our political leaders as visionaries, he said; rather they have been reduced to mere managers of the status quo. What is needed, he reckons, is a resurgence of ideas. And it is difficult to disagree with him.

Historically, mind you, Kiwis have never had much time for theory or ideas. There is an exception to this rule, though. The 19th century French observer of NZ politics Siegfried summed up the psychology of our policy/political elite well: ‘they have, like all men of action, a contempt of theories; yet they are often captured by the first theory which turns up, if it is demonstrated to them with an appearance of logic’. Never be afraid to disagree with ‘conventional wisdom’.

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Salient Vol. 74

Welfare Officer Ta'ase Vaoga

Politics is something you might like to get caught up in. We all have some form of political belief. Our political beliefs are often influenced by the way we were brought up. They are inherently ideological, no matter where you sit on the political continuum, and if you have a strong sense of conviction, you are likely to be outspoken about them.

I am political. I like politics. There is something liberating about the charged nature of walking the halls of Parliament, about having a debate with someone and proving a point they may never had thought of before—or, on the flipside, being proven wrong .

When I work at VUWSA, I try to leave my politics at the door. Of course, my beliefs have an impact on how I choose to live out my life and what I bring to the table, but I believe that VUWSA is an apolitical organisation. What is most important to me when serving students is that I act, think, and speak as though I am a student. Of course I am a student, but the challenge is to remember that I am but one student in a sea of thousands. We are working toward the same goal, but each individual has different needs and wants as to how to achieve that goal.

The challenge that remains is that VUWSA finds ways to engage with students and discuss the issues at hand to make university life that much more bearable.

Politics aside, I hope that I have in some way given enough time into engaging with students to understand what makes you tick. After all, this is your university and your learning environment is important to me and to VUWSA. We should protect what is most valuable by engaging in the issues and starting a dialogue to make this a better place for you and for me.

All the best for your upcoming exams and, for those who are going on “holiday” over summer, slip, slop, and slap. Stay safe and leave your beer goggles at home! Over and out!

Ngāi Tauira The New Zealand system of Government is democracy where the people vote for the people. It is where one's voice may be heard among the moana and the hau.

Though sometimes New Zealanders just need that little push to get it started! This is where one single voice can call out to thousands—Ngai Tauira

Is Politics really a perfect game?

Andrew Donnelly

When I was a child I saw politics as something that was confined to the government chambers.

I now hear the term politics used on a daily basis in reference to rules and regulations and the games people play. What does this mean ‘the games people play’ and why does it cause so much frustration? One complaint that arises is people cannot do what they really want. Wherever they turn they find themselves jumping through hoops. Yes, there are rules and regulations, but it seems as though some people use these against the intended purpose by serving their own personal enjoyment.

I say personal enjoyment because it seems as though some people get a kick out of standing on top of others. They allow themselves to get into an argument only to show off their knowledge on a certain subject. It seems as though they think every person is out to get them. But do they really believe everybody is against them? This is where I think the root of the problem exists. These types of people are so absorbed by their own greatness they see the world through their own eyes, or as if they were looking through a mirror. It does not mean these people are bad, though some may

be; it just stands as a fact that they most probably can’t see that they are trapped in a vicious circle.

What is the purpose of living a life defending yourself from people that are not against you? It is a fact that most of these people are not after what you have, it’s just they are seek help. Instead you give them the runaround or tell them what they already know; their desired answer. What is it are you trying to protect? Maybe you studied the system, learnt the right things to say and do, but never developed the character that was required of you. When you play a game, you play to win; this is where one's character is tested. But what is the competition Politics exists and what is your for the people motivation? Every has rules and as a collective; game these rules are in not to serve place to allow for a an individual fair contest.

Politics exists agenda for the people as a collective; not to serve an individual agenda. So therefore the rules are put in place so everyone may have an equal opportunity. They are not created to serve only the strong but they allow for the weak to compete. However people don’t understand this and the strong still use these rules to lord over the weak; by setting up their own perfect game. What will it take to break this cycle?

It will be the people who understand the principle of equality; the first shall be last and the last shall be first.

Those who are prepared to go beyond playing the perfect game have the desire to serve rather than to rule.

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‘It is by laying down your life, will you find true victory’.

the news Issue 23 Politics

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Edited by Stella Blake-kelly

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Salient named Best Publication OF ALL TIME Take that, ‘The Bible’ Molly McCarthy

Salient was named Best Publication at the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) Awards on Saturday 24 September, much to the delight of co-editors Elle Hunt and Uther Dean, and the rest of the Salient team and readership.

Held this year at Victoria University’s Milk and Honey bar, the ASPA Awards are an annual event that recognises and celebrates the work of student magazines around the country, dishing out awards for categories such as Best News, Best Design and Best Humour.

Described as “witty, intensely self-involved in a rather endearingly self-deprecatory way” by Best Publication judge Simon Wilson of Metro magazine, Salient placed first ahead of secondequal winners Critic (Otago University) and Magneto (Massey Wellington).

The other big win of the night for the magazine was first place in the Best Cartoonist category, which was taken out by Dinocop creator Sam Northcott. Judge Al Nisbett described Northcott’s drawings as “fresh and energetic... with slightly manic themes” and even went as far to say that he “found himself smiling at them”. Applause from the Salient table for Northcott’s award was of equal, if not greater volume, as the response to the Best Publication announcement, complete with a standing ovation and hysterical screaming.

"Well, I suppose it is very good, yes," Northcott said of his award.

Salient also picked up second placings for Best Unpaid News (Unpaid), Best Reviewer, Best Feature and Best Education Series, and third equal for Best Design.

To top off the enormously successful weekend for the magazine, the Salient Facebook page surpassed 2000 ‘likes’ on Sunday evening.

We are [locked in] the University [library] Nicola Wood Students across the country rallied under the We are the University banner last week to protest a range of policy changes in tertiary education.

The group listed the erosion of democracy on campuses, the hiking of student fees, and the ACT Party's VSM Bill which passed its final reading in Parliament last Wednesday as its main concerns.

“These measures threaten the university as a space for free engagement with people and ideas,” said Guy Cohen, the group's spokesperson from Auckland.

Over 300 students occupied Auckland University's business school on Monday in a rally which saw doors blockaded, a heavy Police presence and several arrests.

AUSA President Joe McCrory, who addressed the protest, said it showed “a student-led movement against Government attacks on students”.

Cohen labelled the occupation a success as it showed student unity and action still exists of university campuses.

A smaller-scale protest took place in Victoria University's Hunter Building, with about 30 students staging a sit in outside Vice-Chancellor Pat Walsh’s office.

A full list of results can be found online at salient.org.nz /blog/ aotearoa-student-press-association-awards-results salient.org.nz

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Salient Vol. 74

No Confidence's hopes of presidency crushed by Hood victory Natalie Powlesland

The results of the VUWSA General Election were announced last Thursday night, with few surprises and little excitement.

Official voter turnout figures were unavailable when Salient went to print, but it is estimated to be approximately 1800 students. Though this is only about ten per cent of the student body, it is almost double last year’s low turnout.

Bridie Hood was elected President for 2012, with 1449 votes to ensure a motion of no confidence could not pass against her.

"I would like to thank everyone for their support over their last few weeks and congratulate those who won their elections. 2012 is going to be a challenging year for VUWSA and I look forward to working with a strong Executive to insure VUWSA remains a strong and responsive students association," said Hood following her election.

Hood also acknowledged the challenges VUWSA will face next year as the association adjusts to a voluntary environment.

"I will be spending the rest of the year alongside the current VUWSA Executive to ensure that appropriate structures are put in place for 2012. Although VSM poses a massive threat to the representation and services that VUWSA provides, we now need to look to the future and confront the challenge in front of us. VUWSA will survive VSM," she said.

Outgoing President Seamus Brady also congratulated Hood on her success.

“I have every confidence in Bridie’s ability to be a great President and lead VUWSA through a difficult year as they transition to a new environment. She’s achieved a lot as Vice-President (Education) so I look forward to seeing what she does next year,” he said.

Other results also came as no surprise. Ta’ase Vaoga held her own against a no confidence motion, succeeding in becoming Vice President (Welfare) with 1437 votes. Vaoga and Hood were the only Executive members from 2011 to seek re-election.

Josh Wright had a successful evening, winning each of the positions he stood for—Vice-President (Academic), Education Officer and one of two Publications Committee representatives. Assuming he takes up the Vice Presidency, Sam Vincent will become Education Officer.

The position of Treasurer was won by Science Society President William Guzzo. Former VUWSA President and 2011 NZUSA co-president Max Hardy was elected the Student Representative on the University Council.

Election night also saw the end of Seamus Brady’s tenure at VUWSA after being involved with the Association since 2008. He says it is a good feeling to be moving on.

“Despite losing my youthful good looks, I’ve loved (almost) every bit of my time involved and it’s incredibly satisfying to see how much VUWSA has grown over the past three and half years,” he said.

Alongside voting in the election, students were also asked about their opinion of VUWSA’s Strategic Plan, the first of its kind for the association. Of the 1827 who responded to this question, approximately 50 per cent felt “neutral” towards it. While only 32 per cent said they were “satisfied” with the Plan. This was the final round of consultation, which will now be discussed by the Executive and then voted upon at next year’s Initial General Meeting.

VUWSA Election Results Number of votes in brackets

Position: President Elected: Bridie Hood (1449) Other Candidates: No Confidence (307)

We are an open, transparent and responsible organisation; we have strong and effective governance and management arrangements; we implement best ethical and environmental practices and are committed to the principle of excellence for students.

4. ACCOUNTABILITY

VUWSA is student-led; all members must be able to play an active role in the direction and governance of VUWSA; we believe in the principle and power of democracy and in strong democratic structures.

3. DEMOCRACY

VUWSA is an integral aspect of the University community. We help students to stay on track and to complete their studies and enhance their student experience; we uphold the Principles of the Treaty of Waitangi; we promote and support diversity and equity; we support students to play an active role in their communities.

2. ENGAGEMENT

Students must be represented at all levels and be involved in all decisionmaking processes that affect their education and their experience at the University; as their representatives, VUWSA must be credible, informed and independent.

1. REPRESENTATION

VALUES

ASSOCIATION

D. Have strengthened our partnership with the University, so that VUWSA continues to oversee provision of student services, the Student Union Complex and other student infrastructure and amenities.

C. Have increased student awareness and use of services.

B. Have a comprehensive communications and engagement programme.

A. Have strengthened the representation structure for increased participation and effectiveness.

PROJECTS:

To see an increase in student participation and engagement with all VUWSA activities.

2. STUDENT PARTICIPATION & ENGAGEMENT

D. Have put in place a social and environmental sustainability plan.

C. Have reviewed VUWSA’s governance structure and made appropriate changes to the Constitution.

B. Have increased VUWSA’s revenue from non-member sources.

A. Have a complete voluntary student membership scenario, including budget, operational plan and transition programme.

PROJECTS:

To secure the long-term sustainability of VUWSA.

1. SUSTAINABILITY

STRATEGIC GOALS

YOUR STUDENTS’

VICTORIA UNIVERSITY OF WELLINGTON STUDENTS' ASSOCIATION – STRATEGIC PLAN 2012-2015

To engage with both students and the University so that both see VUWSA as an exceptional and invaluable students’ association, serving the interests of students.

Mission

To advance the interests of students at the University as their representative body.

Purpose

A quality education and an outstanding student experience at Victoria University of Wellington.

VISION

STRATEGIC PLAN

Other Candidates: Emma Anderson (526) Kiran Matthews (339)

Bruno Simpson (309)

Position: Publications Committee Representatives Elected: Elle Hunt (1359), Josh Wright (673) Other Candidates: Zanian Steele (275), Keegan Platten (120)

Other Candidates: Harry Lusk (392), Stu Miller (324)

Other Candidates: Lisa Taylor (244)

Elected: Sophie Turner (1035)

Elected: Max Hardy (1429) Other Candidates: Andrew Donnelly (261)

Position: Environmental Officer

Position: Student Rep. on University Council

Other Candidates: Isabella Whitfield (658)

Elected: Reed Fleming (1460)

Elected: Sara Bishop (927) Other Candidates: No Confidence (372)

Position: Clubs Officer

Position: Women’s Officer

Lisa Taylor (298)

Lisa Taylor (371)

Elected: Adele Redmond (1363)

Other Candidates: Sam Vincent (627)

Other Candidates: Kirin Matthews (463),

Position: Campaigns Officer

Elected: Josh Wright (783)

Elected: Andreas Triandafilidis (835)

Position: Education Officer

Elected: Rory McCourt (871)

Other Candidates: Zanian Steele (473),

Position: Activities Officer

Position: Welfare Officer

Other Candidates: Emma Maddox (205)

Elected: William Guzzo (902)

Elected: Genevieve Fowler (1411)

Other Candidates: Craig Carey (673)

Position: Treasurer

Position: Queer Officer

Other Candidates: Lisa Taylor (263)

Other Candidates: No Confidence (308)

Elected: Josh Wright (1038)

Elected: Debbie Zhang (1407)

Elected: Ta’ase Vaonga (1437)

Position: Vice President (Academic

Position: International Officer

Position: Vice President (Welfare)

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Salient Vol. 74

One University,

no CUP Natalie Powlesland

Government funding cuts mean students will no longer be able to take university preparation courses at Victoria University.

The government has decided that it will no longer fund university preparation courses at universities but will continue to fund such courses at polytechnics and other training organisations. This means that Victoria University's Certificate in University Preparation (CUP) will now be without funding.

Due to these cuts, Victoria management are proposing to cut the CUP altogether.

This means that students wishing to undertake university preparation courses in Wellington will have to attend Weltec, Whitirea, or a private training institute.

VSM TIMELINE 1994 Michael Laws’ Private Members’ Bill for Voluntary Student Membership is introduced to Parliament, and then goes to Select Committee in 1995.

1996 Laws’ Bill lapses at the election as it isn’t renewed by the new Government.

1997 ACT MP Donna Awatere-Huata and National MP Tony Steel both have Private Members’ Bills for Voluntary Student Membership pulled out of the ballot at the same time. Steel’s Bill is preferred by the Governing parties and proceeds.

1998 The Bill is passed but only after a compromise with New Zealand First, which introduced a referenda system, where a referendum between universal and voluntary membership had to be held if 10 per cent of students’ signatures were collected. The option for individuals to opt-out of their association was also added under the guise of “conscientious objection”. Under the Bill, every students’ association had a referendum straight away.

1999 Victoria University held its referendum: 47 per cent of enrolled students voted, and 72 per cent of the votes were in favour of compulsory membership.

Auckland, most of the Polytechnics and Waikato students voted in favour of voluntary membership.

VUWSA is opposed to the closure and believes that students will be disadvantaged if they cannot complete these courses at university. They believe that an important part of these university preparation courses is being able to orient students at university and the services it offers, such as the library and support services.

2006

Current CUP students are also opposed to the proposal.

September 2009

“I took CUP in the first trimester of last year and it was the best decision I ever made. The skills they teach you in that course are so valuable to university as a whole,” said one student.

“Bridging courses into university mean that a diverse range of people can access university education. Moving these courses to polytechs removes this "bridging" function. Instead it creates another barrier to accessing uni if you are not being immersed in the campus lifestyle,” said another.

Despite facing the same funding problems, other universities have decided not to cut their preparation courses. The University of Auckland has chosen to fund their programme through its equity fund. The preparation programme at Waikato University is being run by Weltec but will be taught on the Waikato campus to allow new students to orient themselves with the campus.

VUWSA believes that Victoria should look into similar alternatives to avoid ending the programme.

The proposal to close the CUP is currently open for consultation before the final decision is made.

Heather Roy places her Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill in the ballot.

August 2009 Bill is drawn out of the ballot.

Bill has its first reading in Parliament.

September 2009—September 2010 Bill is at Select Committee. About 5000 submissions received, with 98 per cent against.

November 2010 Bill returns to Parliament for its second reading, following several minor changes. Originally the Bill was to come into force one year after it becomes law, but the implementation date is pushed out till 1 January 2012 to give associations more time to prepare. Labour begins filibustering the Royal Society Bill which precedes the VSM Bill in the Parliamentary order paper.

September 2011 Labour’s filibustering ends when Roy moves that progress be reported on the Royal Society Bill, pushing it below the VSM Bill on the order paper.

28th September Third and final reading of the Bill, passes with support of National, United Future and ACT.

1st January 2012 Students’ association membership nationwide to become voluntary.

Burn Baby Burn VUWSA Inferno

will seek redress through the Tribunal, ” says Te Mana Ākonga Tumaki Jacqualene Poutu.

The end of universal membership was marked with a bang on Kelburn campus, when a BBQ held by VUWSA to raise awareness of the Bill caught fire. This was no deterrent to Victoria’s ravenous students, who continued to help themselves to charred sausages, with one enquiring as to whether there was “any sauce”.

The Bill, which will make membership of all students’ associations voluntary, passed with MPs voting 63 to 58 in favour, supported by National, Act and United Future.

Under previous legislation, students’ associations’ membership could either be universal or voluntary—with the provision to choose either when a referendum was called for by 10 per cent of students.

From the 1st of January 2012, all students associations will now have a voluntary membership system, with students choosing to join their association, rather than opt-out through “conscientious objection” under the universal system.

NZUSA and a number of students' association representatives have opposed the Bill since it entered Parliament in 2009.

“If students collectively want universal membership, they should be able to vote for it. And equally, if they want voluntary membership, that choice should be theirs as well. It should not be imposed against students’ will by government in the form of a quite extreme and inflexible Bill,” NZUSA co-president David Do said.

VUWSA President Seamus Brady, like many before him, has openly opposed the Bill.

Its passing has been welcomed by supporters.

"For almost 20 years, students have fought for their fundamental human right of Freedom of Association," said ACT on Campus President Peter McCaffrey.

"Finally, students will be free to choose for themselves whether or not to join their students' association... We look forward to a future of more representative and accountable students' associations for future generations."

Before Wednesday’s third and final reading, around 80 students took part in a last-ditch rally in opposition to the Bill.

Representatives from the Labour, Green, Māori and Mana parties addressed the crowd and signed a letter promising to “seek to repeal this legislation when we are in a position of Government.”

As previously reported in Salient, Te Mana Ākonga, the National Māori Students’ Association, lodged a formal Treaty of Waitangi Claim, citing the prejudicial effects against Māori students.

“As soon as the Bill becomes legislation, the Claim will be active and Te Mana Ākonga

As the fire climbed ever-higher, five exec members looked on in confusion as one of their most popular assets went up in flames.

More and more students offered helpful advice, with one advising them that water would not put out an oil fire. Eventually, a fire extinguisher was acquired from vicbooks.

One student, claiming to be a volunteer firefighter, took charge of the situation, but set the extinguisher off in her face.

After the fire was put out, a second BBQ was rolled into action, but toppled over due a slight gradient, losing a wheel in the process.

President Brady was overheard to say, “This isn’t happening, fuck my life”.

Vice-President (Academic) Bridie Hood told students passing by that the BBQ had been called off, 20 minutes after it was due to have commenced.

“You’ll either be poisoned by the foam, or the other one will blow up in your face,” Brady told them.

Campus Care later called Salient for more details on the two abandoned BBQs, and co-editor Elle Hunt did not delay in holding VUWSA accountable.

For more information on the VSM debate, go to salient.org. nz for five years' irrational arguing and shit-slinging

martin doyle

Stella Blake-Kelly In a cruel display of symbolism last Wednesday, VUWSA's attempt to serve the student body went up in flames on the same day that the Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill was passed into legislation.

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Issue 23 Politics

“ACT and National have removed students’ ability to have a meaningful say in their education and their ability to choose how they want organise themselves on campus.

Institutions will now pick and choose when it suits them to have credible student representation, what events and support services are offered and how much students will pay for them,” said Brady.

“Reasonable alternatives have been put forward since the Select Committee stages but National and ACT members have refused to listen to reason.” salient.org.nz

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Salient Vol. 74

y

EYE on Exec 26/09/11

Stella Blake-Kelly With VUWSA President Seamus Brady caught up with more important engagements, his right-hand lady Vice-President (Academic) Bridie Hood—the woman that would be president 2012—chaired the executive’s meeting last week.

Salient had earlier been told by Hood that there would be shots at the meeting in order to make it a little more “fun”. To much disappointment, this was not the case. We can only hope that this is the only promise that 2012’s President-elect breaks.

There was a chipper mood in the air, probably due in part to the empty bottles of Coca Cola on the table. It is not known if Bourbon was also in the bottles. Either that, or the executive were just stoked to be in Salient’s presence. We like to think the best of people.

Brady sent his apologies for not attending, but Campaigns Officer Josh Van Veen was MIA. He also failed to submit a work report, to which the exec pointed out is the fourth or fifth consecutive time. JVV has not done anything for over a month, but, it was pointed out, he has not been paid.

Work reports passed with little comment—apart from Vice-President (Administration) Daniel Wilson’s incredulous question, “Jen went to a sex toy workshop?”

“Yes I did,” Education Officer Jennifer Fellows replied.

Wilson moved to officially affiliate six clubs to VUWSA: Indian Multi-Cultural Club, Society for Conservation Biology, Victoria International Theatre, Vic for MMP, Legalise Love (VUWSA’s support of which caused a stir at its AGM) and VUW Paintballers Society.

They then granted about $14,000 to various clubs and sports teams, and over $8000 in individual grants—most of which went to assisting members from Victoria’s Debating Society attend the World Universities’ Debating Championships.

VUWSA will be putting in a joint submission with the University against Steven Joyce’s change proposal, which will limit what the Student Services Levy can be spent on.

Hood then moved to congratulate Salient for their recent successes at the Aotearoa Student Press Association Awards, including the prestige of Best Publication. There was scattered applause from the exec.

Wilson then spoke of his time on the Publications Committee two weeks ago, which oversaw the appointment of 2012’s Salient co-editors, Vice-President (Welfare) Asher Emanuel and Ollie Neas. This was greeted with much louder applause. Salient looked to Hood to point out that 2011’s team were a hard act to follow, and were disappointed when no such praise was given.

The meeting closed after 25 minutes, with Salient sobbing “Why won’t they notice us?” into their hands.

the week that wasn’t

Labour Election Billboards Breach Wellington City By-Laws Edward warren

Labour leader Gil Phoff and Wellington representative Rant Grobertson have come under serious media scrutiny following an order by the Wellington City Council to remove a number of Labor billboards erected for the November election.

The billboards, which originally towered over Willis St, Courtenay Place and Lambton Quay, infringed a number of sections fundamental to the Public Places Advertising and Expression Act. Section 67(a) of the Act states that ‘no public advertising may contain racial, sexist, or religious slurs,’ a provision clearly contravened by a billboard boasting Grobertson’s face and the phrase, ‘What are we going to do with the Pakis? Vote Labor and help us decide.’

Wellington Pakistani Nationals Society President Asif Ali Zardari spoke out against the advertisement: ‘It was totally obscene, isn’t it? A completely abhorrent outburst from a party who we used to believe in and look to for support as immigrants. Besides, they should be more worried about the Koreans, they’re the ones stealing all our jobs.’

Other banned posters include: ‘National are losers. Kohn Jey is a pussy. Vote for a party that doesn’t all suck dick’ and ‘I’m Rant Grobertson and I have a Maori friend. Can Kohn Jey say that?’

Jey has since responded with official radio ads denouncing the offensive billboards as slander tactics, inappropriate for a democratic election in a liberal society like New Zealand. The ads also asserted that ‘Rant Grobertson is a useless prick who can’t play footy to save himself ’.

These displays of political child’s play are not the first instances of squabbling between the two major parties. In 1978 during the lead-up to the general election, Sir Mubert Roldoon made a number of unsavoury television adverts. ‘Biwling’s a fancy boy and he wears ladies’ knickers. Don’t vote for a man who’d push over your mother and spit in your porridge given half the chance’ was a more memorable statement made by Roldoon in his ‘Keep The Poofters Out’ election campaign.

Roll Biwling, well known for an inability in coping with Roldoon’s aggressive style, crumbled under the pressure and released a press statement claiming that ‘You probably shouldn't vote Labor, we are just a big stupid bunch of pansies,’ whilst weeping into his lilac-coloured hanky.

*

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Issue 23 Politics

c with Molly McCarthy

Jesus Walks

and crouches, touches, pauses and engages A painting depicting Jesus as an All Black which sold last week to an Australian rugby fan inspired a theological discussion on what form Jesus would take if and when he came back.

Gracing the front page of the Dominion Post, Reverend Frank Nelson of Wellington’s Cathedral of Saint Paul shared his view that, in accordance with the painting, it is very likely that Jesus would be resurrected as an All Black.

“Central to Christian belief is the fact that God became a human being, he became a man.”

“We often call New Zealanders God's own, so it would be completely logical that if Jesus did come back he would be an All Black.”

Nelson went on to even specify the position Jesus would play if he were to grace our presence as a rugby star.

“He'd have to be a scrum-half, he's the one that puts the ball in, definitely.”

Just hours after this irrefutable argument hit the news stands, a rugby-mad Australian rushed into the cathedral to purchase the painting, by local artist Don Little, which had a price tag of $3,000. The final selling price of the piece is unknown, but the $1,000 share of the cathedral will be donated to the Taita Pomare touch rugby team.

A passer-by commented that it was more tasteful than other iconographic pieces, but thought that Jesus would be a front-rower, rather than a halfback.

“He had all the brains and was surrounded by tough guys.”

The painting will remain on display at the cathedral for the duration of the Rugby World Cup.

*

Email snippets of life at Vic to editor@salient.org.nz with ‘Overheard’ in the subject line, or find Overheard @ Vic on Facebook

Bla Bla Bla

Weir House male: “Dolphins are the gang rapists of the sea.”

—Lauren Nyhan ANTH 102 Lecturer: “I typed ‘fetishism’ into Google and I still feel quite traumatised.”

—Grace ‘Ace’ Vernal CRIM 314 Lecturer: “If you’re gonna drive and drive, do it in Wellington, not in the Hawke’s Bay” —Chris Wong Overheard in Murphy Girl: “I watched an hour and a half of porn, then a guy beating up a girl.”

Guy: “So it was just another Friday night in Newtown?”

—Martin Quicke Girl on fourth floor of the library: “I heard that if you get a beer bong and put it up your ass and pour alcohol in, you get drunk really fast.”

—Becky Elizabeth Edwards Spotted in KK LT 301, following a lecture: a Wii remote —Misa Ito ENGL 208 Lecturer 1 (male): “Do you want me to take my top off ?”

ENGL 208 Lecturer 2 (female): “Yeah, now get off stage!”

ENGL 208 Lecturer 1 leaves lecture hall, stumbles back in topless and holding an empty wine bottle —Rosemary Coppell Official sign on bathroom door in RWW: “Caution: please sit, don’t stand on toilet” —Catherine Larsen GEOG 316 Lecturer: “Divide that number by 70, that’s how you find doubling time... try that with your student loan... actually, no, don’t... try it with my mortgage... we can all commit suicide together.”

—Karl Johnson Overheard outside Cotton: “Ever since I was younger, I’ve always wanted to do my PhD. Just so I can be called a professor, which makes me feel like I’m a teacher at Hogwarts.”

—Aneesha Budhia Overheard outside the library: “My erection is SO stiff right now!”—Claudia Holgate POLS/INTP 205 Tutor: “I have entitled this slide ‘Obligatory Plagiarism Rant’ because every class has to have it. Here is the truth. Fact: plagiarism leads to the zombie apocalypse. Cities will be burn, the zombie will return to feast on your brains, and dogs and cats will start having sex.” —Jonathon Reid Girl in POLS 114 lecture on secularisation of politics: “Isn’t New Zealand a Pagan country? That’s what it said on Wikipedia!”

—Emma Pech salient.org.nz

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Salient Vol. 74

Smoking Brash Paul comrie-thomson that is

It was clear that Brash would have to take note of the Green Party approach after receiving a less-than-lukewarm response in his attempt to revive 2005’s rhetoric on race.

Image from: whaleoil.gotcha.co.nz /index.php/2011/09/don-brash-and-the-wailers/

However, rather than following Russell Norman’s cue in focusing on economic strategy, Brash instead turned his focus towards something that not even the Greens are prepared to discuss this year, demonstrating his lack of political instinct by blundering his way into the cannabis debate.

The move was plainly one made in desperation. Having taken the ACT leadership with optimistic projections of taking 15 per cent of the party vote, the Brash-led incarnation has consistently polled around 2 per cent; a figure that without the lifeline thrown to them in Epsom

by National, would see the flailing Party delivered into the jaws of oblivion.

Then, after releasing the party list with its conspicuous third-place vacancy, deputy leader John Boscawen announces he’s

out, apparently “to spend more time with his family”; time with whom he was willing to sacrifice just over a month ago when he accepted a place on the list.

So, there’s a deputy leader who has presumably seen the figures, done the maths, and fled; a consequent additional vacant spot at number two to accompany number three; and a Party that retains not one of its current MPs. So Brash turns to weed.

To be sure, Brash clearly stated his intention when he took the leadership reins, to move ACT back towards its founding principles, of which individual freedom is paramount. Decriminalisation of cannabis, while reeking of populism, is certainly indicative of Brash pursuing that agenda. However, when such a policy comes out of the blue as it has, and is so at odds with Rodney Hide’s ‘tough on law and order’ approach that has come to define the ACT Party, one can only conclude that Brash momentarily forgot there was an election looming.

The fact is, ACT’s support isn’t based primarily in libertarian thought, at least as far as social policy is concerned. ACT the brand appealed to socially conservative and economic liberal right-wingers, and in this election at least, was best poised to siphon off that section of the National There’s not one vote who felt the hadn’t benefit to be had Government gone far enough on from Brash’s the economy, law-andannouncement order, and to a lesser extent, race.

And then there’s the fact that Brash failed to reveal his plans to John Banks; the manifestation of the leader’s only chance of getting back into Parliament this November. Banks, a strong social conservative and a more instinctual politician, was quick to repudiate the proposal realising that Epsom won’t buy into any policy that is ‘soft on drugs’ despite the arguments to be made for decriminalisation. The result has been an inconsistency in message that indicates ACT 2011 2.0 continues to be characterised by the same factionalism as the current parliamentary cohort.

There’s not one benefit to be had from Brash’s announcement. The Epsom crowd now see Brash as a supporter of decriminalisation. On the flipside, the libertarian crowd also won’t be fooled into believing that ACT would actually advocate decriminalisation in Parliament, especially an ACT Party with John Banks in it.

Is it all over then? There’s little chance in reviving the party under Brash now, and more than likely the way forward is now for Banks to roll Brash. Two leadership transitions in a year would be damaging for any party, but Banks still has the profile to win Epsom, and will be aided by that dirty little deal with National. Either way, ACT seems to be effectively finished. Banks is National in all but name and will no doubt fall in line with the rest of that party's faithful.

The upshot is of course that New Zealand politics may now finally find itself entirely free of that intellectually bankrupt neoliberal septuagenarian cohort.

*

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Issue 23 Politics

Party

Doc Watson

Former ACT leader Rodney Hide summed up the ACT Party the best: as a party standing for “individual freedom, personal responsibility…and a quality of life that is the envy of the world”. To a student, that sounds pretty bitchin’. But has ACT managed to maintain this stance in the lead-up to the general election?

Salient contributor Doc Watson talks to ACT MP Stephen Whittington about the policies that students should really consider if they want to vote for ACT. Doc: I want to start by talking about the biggest elephant in the room when it comes to students voting for the ACT Party which is Heather Roy’s VSM Bill. How do you think students will vote following the passing of this bill?

SW: I think for the overwhelming number of students, they don’t really care much about their student associations. There is a small group of student politicians that care very much about [the Bill], there is a small amount of people that feel they shouldn’t be required to join the Association. But if you look at the number of people who turn out at elections, not that many people are engaged in student politics. I think the reality is most students won’t really notice a huge amount of difference. Obviously there are a small number of students who will be particularly supportive [of the Bill] and in that respect I feel they will be the ones more likely to vote for ACT. Doc: With the global financial crisis beginning to take its toll on New Zealand’s economy, something that is inevitably going to be increased is university fees. Does the ACT Party have any particular plans to help circumvent these increases in costs?

SW: Realistically speaking, the only person that has benefited from my own tertiary education is me, so the ACT Party supports people paying for their own tertiary education. The effects of increasing subsidies for tertiary education is to take money away from low income people and give it to people whose future incomes are likely to be higher. Another thing that happens with increased fees is that students demand a lot more from their lecturers when they feel they are paying a significant cost to be there, and I think that’s a good thing. Something that is missing from the tertiary education market is consumers who are willing to decide which courses to do on the basis of what it provides them rather than the course that is easiest.

Doc: A more recent announcement from the ACT Party is the potential reinstating of youth minimum wage between the ages of 15 and 19. Victoria’s undergraduate population falls into the high end of this minimum wage bracket— what do you think this will do to their employment opportunities?

SW: The Bill would allow the Government to reinstate youth minimum wages for those aged 16 and 17, so it would be unlikely to affect university students. It would be most likely affect school students who work part time or people who had left school and were working.

Doc: Are there any other significant policies that you would like undecided student voters to consider when they finally choose to vote in the general election?

SW: When parties talk about policies that are going to benefit students, people get wrapped up in facts and thinking about the massive personal benefit that these policies are likely to give them, such as interest-free student loans. What I have realised in my time in ACT is that these policies are specifically targeted at particular groups and they are all short term actions. The main thing I would say to students is to look 20 years into the future and ask what kind of New Zealand they want to live in. Major political parties like Labour and National don’t really have any solution for inequalities in the education system— they will just keep trucking through with what we are already doing. If you think about what kind of New Zealand you want in 20 years, you want it to be economically prosperous, you want it to be freer in a personal and economic sense and you want it to be a fairer society. If that’s the kind of New Zealand you want, there is really only one choice and that is the ACT Party.

*

salient.org.nz

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Salient Vol. 74

The

Ollie Neas

Party

New Zealand’s second-biggest political party, Labour has traditionally been popular with student voters due to its support of a universal student allowance and interest-free loans. But its recent poor performance in the polls suggests that Labour’s left-leaning social policies are failing to make enough of an impact to challenge National in the upcoming election. Salient writer and 2012 coeditor Ollie Neas talks to their Tertiary Education spokesman David Shearer on how a Labour Government would benefit students.

Ollie: In response to the ‘We are the University’ protests that have been held at the Auckland and Victoria Universities, Steven Joyce stated that students should “keep their heads down” because they are reasonably well looked after already.

Do you agree with those comments?

David Shearer: I think his comments were heavy handed; I didn’t agree with them. Frankly, I think Steven Joyce should just quietly butt out. Students don’t normally go out and demonstrate for no good reason.

There’s normally a pretty good reason ... the other part of it is that the student protests are an important principle.

They are something that I certainly grew up with at my time at university. It was sort of like a school master telling off students. It came off as patronising.

Ollie: So you do think the protests were valid then?

DS: Certainly. Some of the protests around voluntary student membership are particularly valid. I actually think the VSM Bill–the voluntary student membership–is a really abhorrent piece of legislation that is designed to crush student associations. So, for that reason, student associations standing up for what is theirs is entirely legitimate and right.

Ollie: You are entirely opposed to VSM? DS: We have opposed it from the very beginning. We have taken quite a lot of criticism for the tactics we have used in Parliament to oppose it, but we felt that criticism was worth taking because we felt it was a bad piece of legislation. It’s a piece of legislation that I don’t believe National even supports. In fact, we were very close to a compromise deal with them a few months ago.

What happened was it became involved with politics.

Heather Roy was dumped as Minister and she picked up the Voluntary Student Membership Bill as kind of her consolation package. The National Party, in a sense, was obliged to get in behind it and support it... There is

a democratic way of bringing that about that is in the legislation at the moment, i.e. having a referendum, and we didn’t dismiss that in the new legislation. It’s a heavy handed Parliament telling students what to do with their lives. It will undoubtedly destroy the very institutions which students depend on, and what will happen—as it’s happened everywhere else—is that universities will charge students for the same services that they are already getting through their students’ associations. That’s going to happen. So students will get taxed without being represented.

Ollie: More specifically, what do you envisage that compromise you mentioned earlier to look like?

DS: The idea is that students sign up for the students’ association but they have a period of time during which they can opt out.

Ollie: Like the English model?

DS: A little bit like the English model, or a little bit like Kiwisaver. You can opt out if you want to. ... But on the whole it allowed most students to just carry on.

What VSM has done has weighted it in the other way so inevitably students’ associations will be left with no money. So, for that reason, we will repeal it when we come back into government.

Ollie: Do you see any quality in the idea of allowing students to be free to associate with students’ associations as they choose? Do you agree at all with that side of the spectrum?

DS: I see student associations a bit like membership of a society which provides you with benefits that are a part of university or polytechnic as an experience. So, as a result of that, you sign up for it. If however you feel really really strongly, I’m happy for you again to opt out. But I don’t think that the analogy of it to be something like a workers’ union is an accurate analogy.

Issue 23 Politics

17

think that’s a backwards step given that our workforce is ageing. Everybody should be given the ability to go back to tertiary institutes to retrain for whatever they need to do.

Ollie: So the student allowance should be universal?

DS: In a sense. We should not be putting a restriction that you can’t be 55 and over. I think that’s discriminatory basically.

... the bottom line is, you’re going to be billed for this if voluntary student membership comes in because many of the services that student associations provide very cost effectively will simply not be available unless the university funds it.

Ollie: On that note, Steven Joyce’s Education Amendment Bill No. 4 seeks to control what the university can spend with the money gained from compulsory student services levy, which will probably go up after VSM. Do you think it should be the role of the government to decide what the university spends its money on, or do you think the university should have the autonomy to do that themselves?

DS: The reason we supported Amendment Bill Four was because we felt that there was some real value in having students consulted and having a degree of say in how the levy is going to be spent. For us that was a big advantage.

There was some evidence that universities were using that levy to fund other parts of the university, so in a way it made that clear. The difficulty is that universities will have to charge an increased levy... as a result of the VSM bill going through. At one point the government’s been sort of hypocritical. On the one hand, it's saying the fees are getting too high and we’re going to try and fix that by sorting out the universities and giving students an opportunity to look at that. On the other hand, it's quashing students’ association and charging students for the services they’re already getting through the students’ association, but not giving them as much say in how those services will be spent. Does that make sense?

Ollie: Approaching the election, what are the biggest issues facing students?

DS: Access is the biggest issue for students. This has been a fundamental value of the Labour Party since its inception. It means every student that meets the requirement should have the opportunity to go on to tertiary education, no matter what their personal circumstances.

Access is the key principle. For that reason, in 2005 we took interest off student loans. We have worked towards a universal student allowance; we don’t think we’ll be able to do that, but over time that’s where we would like to be. I think National is very reluctant and they’re still very unhappy about going along with the interest off student loans. ...while they haven’t said they will revoke it, I wouldn’t be surprised if, after the election, they turn around and reapply some interest on student loans. The other issue is the over fifty-fives. There are some restrictions on over fifty-fives getting those living allowances. I

Ollie: Tertiary fees have risen quite significantly in the last couple of years. At Vic, they’ve risen 100 per cent since 1997. Do you think that this discourages young people from attending tertiary institutions?

DS: Yes, it does. Obviously if fees go up, what you’re effectively doing is putting the burden on running a university onto students, rather than funding universities adequately. In effect that’s the balance. You either put a lot of money into universities or you charge the students more who take out bigger loans and ultimately cost the government more in the long term. So I think the policy that we’re looking at is to look at the ways in which universities are being funded, but at the same time ... look at restrictions on how much universities can increase fees year on year. At the moment it’s four per cent.

Ollie: You talk about providing more adequate funding, and you have also criticised Steven Joyce for effectively increasing university fees throughout National’s time in government, does that mean Labour will increase funding to university institutions?

DS: Our policy is—both in science and research as well as tertiary—that we’re very conscious that if we don’t have quality universities, which means they need to be funded adequately, then we’re not going to be able to compete with universities overseas and we’re not going to keep our young people here back in New Zealand... Our aim is to keep New Zealanders in New Zealand—obviously they travel, but you want them to come back—and to make our institutions as well-funded as possible. Our institutions have been underfunded and so therefore we are looking at the ways in which we can increase funding to those institutions so they are able to grow without having to massively hike student fees.

Ollie: What part do tertiary institutions play in Labour’s vision of a highly-skilled, innovative economy? How do they interact?

DS: They interact in a couple of ways for me. Obviously funding is a key component... In terms of the science and research spending, we would be pushing for our public research spending to be increased to the OECD average, so that we are able to compete with like-minded, like-sized countries. Now we’re not going to get anywhere close to places like Singapore and Finland, but it’s still a step in the right direction. It’s in contrast to what happened this year in the 2011 budget; the science and research budget actually fell by $12 million rather than went up. A lot of that will transfer across into universities because universities will obviously take some of that funding as well... I guess if there’s one salient.org.nz

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Salient Vol. 74

other area, it’s looking at the way that we can get some of our innovation centres inside the university to work more effectively with the private sector.

Ollie: The most recent polling puts Labour on 28 per cent. Can Labour win this election?

DS: Yes. First of all, we’re in the middle of the Rugby World Cup at the moment. Nobody really is focussed on politics... Second thing is that no party has got above 50 per cent since 1951 under a completely different system. So National, while they are polling high now, I think most of the pundits would be very surprised if they went above 50 per cent. The question then becomes who supports them under 50 per cent? ACT is quietly unravelling as we speak. So we have a situation then where the alternative in the wings is a centre-left government...

Ollie: Phil Goff is polling particularly low. Why do you think Phil Goff is so unpopular with the New Zealand public?

DS: I think overall, a lot of people haven’t seen Phil Goff other than in a ministerial role where he’s had his head down ... he just hasn’t had a lot of the airtime that obviously a Prime Minister gets. So again I think with the election, in the last few weeks people will start to see Phil more, and un-edited more in the sense that it's not going to be a political commentator that chops three seconds out and slots it into TV. Having him sitting alongside John Key in a debate, I think people will be pleasantly surprised about how Phil comes across.

I think John Key has had a particularly long honeymoon. And we have been dogged by difficult times, which play to an incumbent Prime Minister. So, for example, the earthquakes and things like that. They were tragedies, but it gives much more visibility to a Prime Minister to be seen to be doing the right thing. We can argue around the edges but John Key’s been out there and on the ground, and it’s really difficult to combat that...

Ollie: In a couple of words, why should students vote Labour in this coming election?

DS: When you look back at what Labour has done, Labour has consistently stood by students. We have stood by students through voluntary student membership at cost to ourselves; we’ve been roundly criticised for it. With student loans, we’ve taken the interest off them. Our goal is a much more affordable, universal student allowance. When you actually look at our record, we have been the party that has stood by students much more than the National Party has been.

Ollie: Anything else of interest to students?

DS: One thing I should say that is going to benefit students is our proposal for a tax-free first $5000. That will actually benefit students a lot. A lot of students will be doing part-time work as they go through their studies. That $5000 means they will walk away with more in their hand.

*

Ollie: Do you think the media then has had a role in not portraying Phil Goff adequately?

DS: Yeah. The way that politicians are seen is through the way the media decides to portray them. All leaders have honeymoons and

Television Scriptwriting: Applications close 10 December 2011 Sitcom, drama, soap!

Want to learn how to write a television script?

Learn the basics of television scriptwriting in the half-hour sitcom, hour-long series drama, soap opera and sketch comedy genres. This workshop-based course will be run during the first trimester by awardwinning television writer Dave Armstrong (Shortland Street, Seven Periods with Mr Gormsby, Spin Doctors, Spies and Lies). Students will study various television scriptwriting genres, constructively critique the work of other students and produce a finished script in the genre of their choice. Limited to ten students.

Learn more at: www.victoria.ac.nz/modernletters/courses/CREW-351.aspx

Note: Labour’s Tertiary Education Policy is set to be released early this week.

FAST-TRACK YOUR WRITING THIS SUMMER Every year the International Institute of Modern Letters at Victoria University offers the Iowa Workshop, a special credit-bearing course taught by outstanding creative writing graduates from the University of Iowa. The Iowa Writers’ Workshop is America’s oldest and most prestigious creative writing programme, and numbers among its graduates a dozen winners of the Pulitzer Prize.

This summer we are offering separate workshops in poetry and fiction from 9 January to 17 February 2012. Enrolment is restricted to 12 students per workshop.

For information, application forms and course dates, please contact: International Institute of Modern Letters Te Pūtahi Tuhi Auaha o te Ao Victoria University of Wellington PO Box 600, Wellington, New Zealand Phone 04-463 6854 Email modernletters@vuw.ac.nz Website www.victoria.ac.nz/modernletters

Applications close 9 November 2011.

0800 VICTORIA

0800 VICTORIA

WWW.VICTORIA.AC.NZ

For further details and application forms, contact: International Institute of Modern Letters Phone

(04) 463 6854

Email

modernletters@vuw.ac.nz

Website

www.victoria.ac.nz/modernletters

WWW.VICTORIA.AC.NZ

19

Issue 23 Politics

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20

Salient Vol. 74

National: Steven Joyce Stella Blake-Kelly

Historically, the National Party could hardly be described as the defender of the student. Since they gained office in 2008, the National government has restricted entry to university and tried to get a handle on spiralling student debt, which is set to hit $12 billion by the end of the year.

Minister for Tertiary Education Steven Joyce has recently stated that students are well looked after and ought to “keep their heads down”. Salient news editor Stella BlakeKelly talked to Joyce to find out what the deal is.

Do you think tertiary education is a right or a privilege?

Neither—and that’s a good thing. But I don’t know that I’d describe it as a right, because what happens when you describe something as a right is generally people then think that it should be free. And so I just don’t think it’s helpful. it’s a political statement, rather than anything else. I just think it’s something really good for people to participate in and it provides skills which will really help them in later life as a general rule.

Student services levy—your recent proposal, why the change in direction? And why is it the Government’s place to decide what services a university can and can’t provide with the Levy?

Because I think the institutions, not just universities, that charge it are showing signs of really operating in what you might call a geographical monopoly situation. Where the fees have gone up very significantly and there’s not really any visibility in terms of what they’re spent on. You get different noises from different universities, some saying that it’s absolutely necessary for the sort of no-academic stuff, and then others posturing that they are putting up their student services levies because they’re not getting enough money in other ways. And either way, and if that’s the case it’s an attempt to get around the fee regulation, and so what we’ve decided is needed is a much more transparent system, which identifies what can be—through a gazetting process—what can compulsory fees be charged for and then requires them to lay out how they use those fees. So that students can see whether they are used well or not.

Why the specific restrictions on things that it can be spent on? Why can student media, as opposed to representation be funded through the compulsory levy?

Yeah it’s quite interesting, and it is quite challenging, and there’s an element of you can argue some of those are the boundary. For example student media, you can have a debate as to whether that’s appropriate to include or not. But what officials have tried to do is come up with a set that nearly all students benefit from, of services that could not be charged on an individual basis, or not reasonably provided on an individual basis. And then gone out for consultation on that, and we’re studying the feedback on that consultation at the moment.

With voluntary student membership coming in next year, universities may be contracting out to provide those services— do you envisage that they’ll be contestable?

That will be entirely up to the university and the students concerned.

Why do you support Voluntary Student Membership?

I think philosophically it doesn’t make sense to require somebody who goes to a particular institution to belong to a particular association. I think we can all understand that concept. And that’s why ultimately I am comfortable with change.

At the last fee setting meeting, Victoria University Council voted to raise fees by the maximum 4 per cent under current Fee Maxima Policy, and they cited cuts to tertiary education funding as their reason. Do you have any plans to change this situation?

There hasn’t been any cuts, so they’re making it up.

So you’re saying they’re not telling the truth?

What I’m saying is they are either mistaken or deliberately obfuscating. The reality is that over the last two years, firstly the amount per student went up 2.2 per cent

21

Issue 23 Politics

in the 2010 Budget. And it’s gone up two further per cent this year on a per student basis—so they’re making it up if they’re saying that is the case.

A number of Council members also said that they current funding model was unsustainable, and that the sector was at “breaking point”—do you or National intend to make any changes to the current tertiary education funding model?

No, not significant ones. And I disagree with that premise.

All universities are doing well, they are well funded, they are profitable, and in fact they could continue to improve their income. And there are a couple of areas that they could really focus on and that’s the commercialisation of their research. And also, their international revenues.

And in the case of international revenues, they lag well behind their Australian counterparts which they compete with for academic talent. And so I would suggest to them that that’s an area of focus.

Are you concerned with where New Zealand universities placed in the latest QS rankings?

No, because you can’t take those rankings in isolation, and in other rankings some of the universities have gone up. I mean obviously you always want to see them do better, and we are in a very competitive international environment. So I suppose you could say there is some concern about the QS, but it’s balanced with what’s happened with the other rankings. But it doesn’t necessarily follow that the taxpayer should just write out a bigger cheque.

So despite many universities around the country saying they need more funding, you don’t think they need it?

Well I would say there has never been a time where they haven’t asked for more funding. If you look back in history, I doubt that there has ever been a time when a university has said ‘we’ve got enough, thanks very much’. So there’s a certain amount that which goes with the territory. And when you deal with the global financial crisis and the recession, and you look at what’s happening to universities internationally, I think that the New Zealand university system is well funded by comparison.

The brain drain—many of New Zealand’s graduates choose head overseas for a better life, and they take taxpayers’ investments in their education with them, what are your views in this situation?

Well a couple of things. Firstly, I think that some people go and there’s no doubt about it, and some people come back. And there’s a natural exchange of minds if you like, and we lose some and we gain some through that process. And the international skilled labour market is much more mobile than it was when I was coming through university. And even then quite a lot of kiwis headed overseas for their OE, some came back and some didn’t. So firstly, that’s part of that and nothing is going to change that, because we do live in a mobile world. But it does point out that you have to have competitive tax settings, and a competitive economy to be able to retain as many of those as you can, and attract new ones in to replace them. And that’s why we’ve put so much focus on the tax system, and on strengthening the economy

generally. Because that’s ultimately, no matter what people say, that’s ultimately what they do—they go where the exciting jobs are and the only way to get the jobs exciting is to make your economy more competitive. So that would be the primary comment on that.

I think in terms of them taking their investment overseas, yep that’s part of the challenge, although of course we get other countries investments back here. But I do think that they need to take responsibility for paying back their student loans, and we have a very poor record of students going overseas and repaying their student loans. Which is why we are putting a much stronger emphasis on those overseas, particularly in Aussie and the UK, repaying their loan to keep the integrity of the student loan system.

Do you support interest-free student loans?

Yep, the Government and I have supported it and we don’t plan on any change.

Students are part of the university community, which is meant to be the "critic and conscience of society"—given the amount of protests nationwide about the state of tertiary education and universities citing lack of government funding as a critical factor for cuts to—[cut off] A, there have been no cuts. And B, I must say I haven’t noticed that there has been a massive level of protest. In fact the last one in Auckland yesterday I think they raised 20 people.

Yes, but the one on Monday had 300. You said that they should "keep their heads down", do—[cut off] That was just my advice in relation to fees. I can tell them that most New Zealanders actually think that students are in a pretty good position at the moment. And I don’t know that politically the challenges that the country faces that people really think that students should somehow be more looked after than they are currently. We actually have a very, very generous student support system, one of the most generous, if not the most generous in the world.

In a couple of words, why should students vote National at the election?

Because we are supporting the tertiary system. We’ve got more places in universities than ever before. We’re encouraging universities to provide results, which means looking after their students and encouraging their students better than they have in the past. And we’re making sure that the student loan scheme is sustainable, by chasing up those who go overseas without paying. So I think for those three reasons alone, I could tell you more if I had more time. But I think those three reasons alone, I think they are very good reasons to vote National if you are a student.

*

Note: Joyce would not say when National’s tertiary education policy would be announced.

salient.org.nz

22

Salient Vol. 74

United Future: It’s a Dunne Deal Gerald Lee

Let’s face it: very few, if any, university students will be casting their vote for the United Future party this November. Often regarded as simply consisting of Peter Dunne and social conservatives, United Future has never really been a student-orientated organisation. However there is no denying that Peter Dunne is a politician with a long history of parliamentary service and involvement in government. Salient writer Gerald Lee talked with party leader Peter Dunne about what he truly stands for.

Gerald: VSM has been a highly contentious issue amongst students.

Why did you support VSM? Dunne: People have a right to freedom of choice. We have widely accepted the principle of voluntary union membership in the private and government sectors. I don’t think that student associations are any different in that respect and I think it is for students themselves to choose.

Gerald: Do you think that student associations will suffer, in terms of service provision?

Dunne: I think that it depends on the way in which they market themselves to their members. I’m a strong supporter of students associations; in fact I’m a life member of UCSA. I think that VSM will provide opportunities for students associations to market themselves to students in new ways, and to become stronger.

Gerald: What policies are you offering that will benefit students?

Dunne: I think the main one is the policy on student fees. We effectively want to abolish student fees and cut by about sixty per cent the amount of money that students are required to borrow.

We would fund that by abolishing student allowances. The net effect of that would be that the amount students borrow each week would be accommodation costs only. The maximum student debt per year would be around $6800, and that would cut student debt in half.

Gerald: Recently, within an international ranking of universities nearly all of New Zealand’s tertiary institutions had fallen. The researchers cited low public investment in tertiary education. Do you think the government is investing enough in tertiary education and what would you change?

Dunne: No, I think they need to invest more and my policy of a change to student allowances and fees would encourage greater government investment. I also think that the universities need to do much more to market themselves, to each other, and to the wider public. I think our universities have a lot of skill and talent within them, and there is a lot of very good research being done that isn’t being widely recognised.

Gerald: Many of your critics allege that you are an opportunist, who is willing to work with any party as long as they give you a ministerial post.

How do you respond to this?

Dunne: Well I think that it’s a very silly criticism. I’ve always believed in being constructive. If we can reach agreement, then it is far better to work constructively to achieve policy outcomes

rather than just sit forever in opposition. United Future has supported the government for twelve of the last fifteen years and we have achieved a lot of our policies as a result.

Gerald: In the past your party has been seen as being populated by social conservatives, the most notable being Gordon Copeland. How would you characterise the image of United Future today?

Dunne: Well those people no longer have any part in our party and I am delighted that they have gone. We are a centrist party which comprises people with a wide range of backgrounds and views. We are, in that sense, very much in the mould of the Liberal Democrats in Britain.

*

Maori Party—or, not Alex Braae

I attempted to interview Maori Party co-leader Pita Sharples as part of this series; however, it was not to be. I sent him two emails, rang his press secretary five times unsuccessfully, and spoke to the press secretary once. In this conversation, the press secretary indicated they would be interested in an interview with Salient, and that they would get back to me about when would be a good time to do it. As yet, that hasn’t happened. They definitely have my details—I emailed them through twice and relayed them to the press secretary over the phone. At this stage, I can only assume the Maori Party isn’t interested in talking to Salient, or at the very least, me. Quite how they expect to win the tertiary vote without talking to student media is a mystery, and it remains to be seen how effective this strategy will be.

To summarise their tertiary education policy, the Maori Party believe it should be easier to access, and more targeted towards skills shortages. They advocate a universal student allowance, set at the level of the DPB, as well as a policy of fees reduction. Bridging courses would be made free, as according to Te Ururoa Flavell’s website, “bridging courses at tertiary level compensate for poor quality secondary education”.

Furthermore, the Maori Party supports a retraining allowance, as well as the investment in trade training and apprenticeships. There is a focus on training people for industries run by Iwi groups, such as farming, fisheries and forestry. They also believe skill shortages should be addressed through investment in industry training.

*

23

Issue 23 Politics

Does support Voluntary Student Membership or Universal Student Membership? rob kelly

John Minto of the Mana Party asserted very strongly that Universal Student Membership was integral to the good of society and also that it was an essential element of representation in New Zealand.

He linked the VSM Bill to a raft of “neo-liberal policies” which had been reducing representation in New Zealand for years, stating that in terms of representation Aotearoa had been “moving backwards since the 1980s”. Minto was vocally proud of both Mana’s and the Unite Union’s support of the We Are The University protests on 26 September, stating that Mana is “very much on the side of the students".

In his Draft Education Policy, Minto stated that he would like to shift the focus of tertiary education from attempting to create a knowledge society to a critical and creative society. He elaborated that Mana was committed to focusing tertiary education on bettering the individual to the point where they were not simply tailored for one job, but instead educated to be a better citizen who would be capable of filling many roles in society. He used the example of the “fitter and joiner” as someone who used to be equipped with the skills to work in many industries, as opposed to what he sees as the modern reality of students coming out of their degree or qualification and entering one particular role at the minimum wage rate, an effect exaggerated by their student debt.

Mana is proposing to cut Government funding to Private Training Establishments while funding Maori Private Tertiary Education providers under the treaty

responsibilities of the Crown. Minto defines the Mana Party policy as an effort towards clearing up a mess that he sees as being created by previous Governments.

"After National’s complete failure in providing any proper tertiary education policy, Labour then said 'we are going to put Maori and private providers together and we’re just going to fund them on a bums on seats basis'."

Minto got quite heated at this point, saying that this funding "was just money that was bled out of the public system." He summed up the issue of PTEs by drawing a clear distinction between Maori Tertiary providers and PTEs: "I think what we have to do is separate out Maori institutions from PTEs. And in fact Maori providers in general are not-forprofit organisations, they are there to genuinely provide opportunities to Maori that haven’t been there in the past and they need to be supported and encouraged."

Mana aims to reduce and eventually abolish student fees while also retaining interest-free student loans.

Minto asserted that under Mana’s educational policy “the funding would come from the government on a pay-as-you-go basis.” He elaborated on the issue of paying the bill for this saying “there are three ways we would pay for that: introduce a comprehensive capital gains... secondly, the introduction of a financial transactions tax used to compensate for the 15 billion dollars lost in GST” and “Thirdly, a progressive taxation system which means that those on high incomes pay a hell of a lot more than they pay at the moment.” He justified the removal of student fees and the continuation of interest free loans by asserting that there would be “an increase in government income but it wouldn’t come from lower income earners”, And that with the rise in national wealth the country could “easily pay for students”.

I think what we have to do is separate out Maori institutions from PTEs

*

salient.org.nz

24

Salient Vol. 74

The Green Party Merrin Macleod

With the most recent Fairfax poll pitting the Green Party to receive ten per cent of the vote, New Zealand’s third-largest party are securing their place as a serious player in the upcoming election. Salient writer Merrin Macleod spoke to Green Party Tertiary Education spokesperson Gareth Hughes about the party’s vision for students.

Merrin: With the election coming up in November, what differences do the Greens offer over other major and minor parties for tertiary students and those entering the workforce?

GH: The Green Party values students; we’ve always been champions for student rights and adequate funding under successive National and Labour Governments. A smart country invests in its young people. The Green Party is committed to increased funding of tertiary education, greater student support and reducing the student loan debt burden.

One of our three election priorities is our plan to create 100,000 new green jobs through business incentives and government leadership. This will benefit graduates and along with our student loan debt write-off scheme for every year you stay in New Zealand, will help keep you in New Zealand. The other two election priorities are cleaning up our rivers and waterways and lifting 100,000 Kiwi kids out of poverty.

Another difference is we were the only party to oppose the so-called Skynet Copyright law passed under urgency and believe we need greater legal sources of content like Netflix.

Merrin: Green policy available online states that you have the ultimate goal of removing the student loan in favour of fully Government-funded education, introducing a universal student allowance, and enhancing the funding for universities.

What other areas of the budget would be sacrificed for these policies?

GH: We think spending money on education and supporting students is an investment in our economy and society. Obviously the national budget is tight and we couldn’t achieve all these straight away but we would work towards them. Unlike other parties addicted to foreign debt we have identified $8 billion in revenue over 3 years by ending pollution subsidies, halting some motorways, a temporary earthquake levy and a capital gains tax to fund our priorities and repay debt.

Merrin: I understand that the Greens are in favour of research, but resists anything that resembles genetic engineering in food production and nuclear power. Can you explain to science students who are interested in these areas why they should have to go overseas to further this research?

GH: We do support greater research and think it will play a key role in a smart prosperous economy. We support genetic research but believe it is prudent to keep organisms that have no possibility of ever occurring in

nature in the lab until they are proven safe to release into the environment. New Zealand currently does have atomic research however there is no need for New Zealand to have nuclear power or weapons.

Merrin: Assuming that the current opinion polling is reflected in the election and the National Party retains Government, how will the Green Party work with the Government on tertiary education policy? Will you work against VSM? GH: We will work with any party on issues where we agree (like our deal with National to insulate 200,000 Kiwi homes) but it is unlikely we would help them form a Government. It would be great to work with them on tertiary education issues in the future because currently they are on the wrong track, making studying less affordable, less accessible and impossible for some as they turn away thousands of students.

We support the important role of student associations in representation, advocacy and providing services.

We will work with any party to change the law to let students choose how they organise and spend their student levies, not be told by the Act Party.

Merrin: In light of recent comments by Don Brash, what is the Greens policy on drug decriminalisation?

GH: We want to reduce the harm caused by all drugs and believe when it comes to cannabis current laws just aren’t working. We will prioritise the prosecution of crimes such as violent offences ahead of personal cannabis possession and enable doctors to prescribe cannabis products for severely ill patients.

*

NZ First

25

Issue 23 Politics

Last week, 21-year-old Victoria University student Ben Craven was selected as New Zealand First’s candidate for Wellington Central. Salient writer Ryan Hammond sat down with Craven to talk about tertiary policy, New Zealand First, and why he wants to represent you in Parliament.

Ryan Hammond

What are the key aspects of New Zealand First’s tertiary policy and how is it going to be funded?

Basically our policy for graduates is a dollar-for-dollar repayment scheme, so if the student stays in New Zealand to pay off their student loan, we’ll match them. The idea is that it will be funded by the taxes that a person pays while they are in New Zealand and it’s better than a high student loan forcing them overseas because that’s the case at the moment. We’ve got a student debt of over $11 billion. It’s phenomenal. The idea is to encourage people to stay in New Zealand to help our economy instead of going overseas. It’s about viewing students as an asset—an investment—as opposed to a liability.

New Zealand First has a history of attracting older voters, with the exception of the dollar-for-dollar policy, what is New Zealand First doing to connect to a younger generation?

To accompany our tertiary policy, we’ve got a great policy—which has been poached by Labour—regarding apprenticeships. Our idea was that because there are so few apprenticeships here in New Zealand and consecutive governments have basically failed youth in that regard, we were going to pay their dole money to the employer when they take on an apprentice. So it makes it in an employer’s best interests to take them on. That’s another way we’re going to help young people out.

Fairfax recently announced you as one of the youngest people standing in this election. What made you want to run and what made you want to run for New Zealand First?

What made me want to run is just pure representation. A lot of politicians go on about representing their people, but I really don’t think they are. If you look at the face of youth politics at the moment, it’s basically just Gareth Hughes. I think if you’re going to look at someone like that—he dresses up as a clown and goes to protests—you’re not taking youth seriously. In order for the public to take the youth voice seriously, they need to look to someone who takes themselves and the group they are representing seriously.

Why New Zealand First? Because New Zealand First is opposed to sectional interest. The media might make out that we’re a party for old people, but at the end of the day we’re a party for all New Zealanders. We’re about creating a nation of communities, not a community of nations. Basically, we’re not for the workers, we’re not for one ethnic group, or business people, we’re for the whole lot. That’s my motivation.

The media might make out that we’re a party for old people, but at the end of the day we’re a party for all New Zealanders I read online that you oppose VSM. Would you want to make a policy to reinstate CSM? Personally I’m not a fan of VSM. John Key released a statement today saying the core functions of student unions would not be affected and I think that’s a load of bollocks. Regarding student unions, I think there was too much bureaucracy to begin with and that gave them a bad reputation. I think they could be slimmed down a bit to their core functions, to properly represent people, maybe reallocate a few resources away from sports teams and stuff like that and towards representation and grievances and stuff like that. I would personally oppose VSM and seek to reintroduce CSM because it empowers people.

*

salient.org.nz

26

Salient Vol. 74

Why you should vote for on 26 November Wellington Campaign For MMP

MMP

On 26 November this year, you will get an opportunity to vote in the referendum on our electoral system. As not all electoral systems are created equal, here are some arguments for why you should vote to keep MMP at the ballot box.

Mixed member proportional (MMP)—a parliamentary system in which seats are allocated according to the total number of votes each political party receives—came about in New Zealand after a referendum to change the voting system in 1993. The referendum was in response to the huge dissatisfaction with the then-voting system, First Past the Post (FPP). Under FPP, governments were elected by a minority of voters and could easily pass unpopular legislation. Many votes were wasted, and elections were normally decided by a small number of “swing seats”. This was highlighted in consecutive elections throughout the '70s, '80s and early '90s. The change to MMP has meant a fairer democratic political system that ensures your vote counts wherever you live in New Zealand.

Currently under MMP everybody’s party vote has equal weight in the makeup of Parliament. It means that parties that have support spread across the country rather than in one electorate can have this overall support reflected in parliament. Under the old FPP system voters only got an electorate vote—not a party vote—so if you were a Labour voter in a safe National seat or vice versa there was little chance your vote would make a difference. Under MMP, your Party vote counts no matter where you live and you still get an electorate vote to choose the local representative you believe represents your local community.

Furthermore MMP is a proportional system which means that the makeup of Parliament mirrors how the population voted in the election. This is probably the most important characteristic of the system—it means that the number of seats that parties get in Parliament reflects the share of the party vote they receive. The math is simple, if a party gets 15 per cent of the party vote they get 15 per cent of the seats in Parliament. Other systems such as First Past the Post or ‘Supplementary Member’ (SM) do not deliver a proportional outcome and tend to deliver overwhelmingly to incumbent parties rather than a Parliament that reflects the true opinions of voters.

MMP means that Parliament is more diverse and so are our Governments. Major established parties are required to work with other parties to pass legislation, a process which leads to a wider range of views being considered. It means that law making is more cooperative and more considered.

Due to such changes MMP has ensured governments can no longer ram through deeply unpopular legislation at will,

as was common under FPP in the 80s and 90s—they are required to discuss, cooperate and make a clear case for change.

MMP means that Parliament looks a lot more like modern New Zealand and less like olde England. This has been demonstrated by an increased diversity of ethnicity, gender and political perspectives in our Parliament. Such diversity in our Parliament better reflects New Zealand and means that more groups get Such diversity in a voice at the decision making our Parliament table. Electoral system research tells us that a switch back to better reflects non-proportional system New Zealand and asuch as FPP or SM would make means that more such diversity more difficult to groups get a voice achieve and sustain. One clear advantage of MMP is that it at the decision allows MPs to represent constitumaking table encies other than geographical electorates. In our current Parliament we have MPs that are able to act as representatives of the GLBT community and our younger MPs often choose to advocate on youth issues.

MMP allows for representation that better reflects society.

On 26 November this year you will get to vote in the referendum to decide whether or not MMP stays.

Furthermore, if a majority of voters elect to keep MMP in the referrendum MMP will be independently reviewed and recommendations for any amendments will be considered.

This means a vote for MMP is not only a vote to ensure we continue to have a more democratic Parliament—it will also be a vote to make MMP even better.

*

The Campaign for MMP has been active since early 2010 and we’ve got local groups all around the country. You might have seen us out leafleting or at the Sunday markets in Wellington. Join our Vic Uni Students for MMP group on Facebook here on.fb.me/vicmmp or email wellingtonformmp@gmail.com Authorised by Danna Glendining, 33 Berkers Road, RD10 Hamilton

27

Issue 23 Politics

What is our democracy for?

Jordan Williams Vote for Change spokesperson www.voteforchange.org.nz

In 1993 Kiwis voted by a slim 53.9 per cent majority to radically transform our voting system.

Instead of a system based on the most votes winning individual constituency seats (first past the post—FPP) we adopted a German style mixed member proportional (MMP) system. Overnight our politics changed from parties needing to win the most individual seats to govern, to a process where party vote branding and negotiating behind closed doors was required to form governments and pass legislation.

During the next eight weeks in the lead up to the election and referendum we are going to be re-examining that decision. We will hear a lot about ‘fairness’, ‘representation’ and ‘accountability’ in our democracy. What voting system ensures that all our votes are fairly attributed? How do we ensure that minority groups in our society have a voice in our Parliament? How do we keep the bastards honest?

How much influence should small parties have on a government’s mandate?

The pro-MMP groups want this to be a race between the two extremes: MMP and FPP. The reason Vote for Change are campaigning is to ensure that the three options in the middle, Supplementary Member, Single Transferrable Vote and Preferential Voting examined. How do we achieve some of the benefits MMP has brought us, while minimizing the legitimate criticisms of FPP? For example, the system I personally prefer, Supplementary Member, has the advantages of 30 list MPs, but just as importantly, electorates that matter. Under SM the party vote applies to only the proportion of list MPs. It means that you can give your party vote to one party and your electorate vote to another. The difference to MMP is that the party vote does not trump the other. SM allows for minority representation but keeps the bulk of politicians directly and individually accountable to voters.

Democracy is about accountability but MMP made it accountability to the party bosses We all know democracy works not because it picks the best or brightest people for the job, but because it allows us, the voters, to turf rascals out. The ‘threat of the removal van’ has always been the reason democracy ensures that the leaders of our society act responsibly with their power. But having a system where nearly half our MPs are in Parliament because of a list has weakened accountability.

Under MMP electorates are a fiction—for a major party on Election Day a lost electorate is just another list MP (as the party vote proportion applies to the whole 120 parliament). That means that instead of Members of Parliament in a marginal seats standing

up for their electorates knowing that they could be booted out if they don’t, under MMP those marginal MPs won’t want to ‘rock the boat’ in caucus, and are far more likely to stick to their party line to ensure that they are protected with a high list ranking. That is not fair and makes 50 of our current MPs focused on keeping their parties rather than keeping voters happy.

Small parties hold the balance of power and can lever laws like VSM. After every MMP election a small party or parties have held the balance of power. In both the, 1996 and the 2005 elections, the ultimate winner was chosen by one man, Winston Peters. After each election MMP leads to effectively a bidding war, a courtship,

by National and Labour to whoever is the balance of power. Vote for Change says that’s not fair.

Some say that it is an acceptable compromise to have a disproportionate amount of power in whatever party(ies) hold the middle 5-10 per cemt to prevent either of the major parties governing, with say only 45 per cent of the popular vote.

But it is not just the middle parties that sometimes find themselves with huge power. Take for example the way ACT managed to get through their Voluntary Student Membership law.

It’s widely known that a few weeks ago Simon Power lost the support of the Maori Party for his criminal procedure reform. Under a typical MMP-style deal, on the day it happened, it appears a deal was struck to support a procedural motion to end Labour’s delaying of the ACT bill, on the understanding that ACT would ensure the passage of his reform. So thanks to MMP, now those five ACT MPs, none of which had sat on the select committee or had even likely to have read the bill, are entirely dictating to the Minister of Justice and the Government what clauses stay in and what clauses go. The fundamental right to silence will be determined by a subset of the five people in that caucus. Vote for Change say that is not proportionate power for a small party.

Vote for Change If you’re uncomfortable about some aspects of MMP, but don’t want to go back to the other extreme of FPP, you must vote ‘change’ on November 26. This debate is important and voting change doesn’t mean ditching MMP or preventing the politicians reviewing it—it means Kiwis get three years to think about the pros/cons of the most preferred alternative and another chance to vote in three years time

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n o i The olut v e RWill Be Live Salient Vol. 74

Selina Powell

Salient feature writer Selina Powell investigates the low youth voter turnout in New Zealand and the potential of social media as a tool for political engagement.

In the 1950S and 1960s as television entered homes across the globe, large groups of citizens had a feeling that change was in the air. And it wasn’t just because they would be able to swoon over their favourite movie stars or view the Queen’s Christmas speech while sipping a cup of tea in their own living room. There was the idea that this new form of technology would imbue social movements with a momentum never seen before; it would inform the ignorant, highlight the oppressed and include the excluded.

Over a half a century later, the degree of political change instigated by the humble television is arguable. Will your knowledge of the political process or awareness of the repressed really be enhanced by watching your favourite Master Chef episode?

As Kate Stone, an Assistant Lecturer at Victoria University notes, “when TV first came about there was a lot of hype about it creating a democratic revolution because everyone would be able to come so informed with this ready access When TV first came to information. But yet we’ve about there was a decided to fill our televisions up lot of hype about it with reality TV shows—you’re not creating a democratic learning skills to participate in democracy through those shows by revolution because and large.” everyone would Recently commentators have be able to come contended that various forms of so informed with social media, such as Twitter and Facebook, provide the ultimate this ready access to method for encouraging the masses information to become involved in politics.

Whereas previously when a major political event happened, people would pay close attention to the event to relay this information to their neighbours and friends, now people reach into their pocket for a recording device.

Rather than talking about the day’s events at the dining room table, events and viewpoints can quickly be conveyed to thousands of people across the globe. Twitter and Facebook can be used to form social movements which span cultural, religious, ethnic and national boundaries. We’ve all seen the protest scenes where hundreds of people hold their cell phones aloft, attempting to get a better picture of history unfolding. It seems only a matter of time before a communications company launches a pitch to exchange the Statue of Liberty’s torch for a smartphone.

A key aspect of the emergence of social networking sites is how it is affecting the way the political identity of young people develops. Internationally youth participation in the voting process is low when compared to other age groups.

Currently over one in four young New Zealanders between the ages of 18 and 24 are not enrolled to vote.

Whereas previously supporting a particular party was important for developing a sense of political identity, now people can pick and choose which particular issues to align themselves with online. As Stone puts it, “you can affiliate with a cause just by clicking a button on Facebook.”

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So is social media the key to youth political engagement?

As with television, the answer lies in how this new technology is used in practice, rather than its theoretical merits.

The Electoral Commission has taken on board new forms of technology to encourage youth voter turnout. It is now possible to enrol to vote online, through Facebook or request an enrolment form by text.

Politicians have also sought the youth vote by establishing a presence on Twitter and Facebook which are seen as key political spaces for young people. Stone believes that the effectiveness of this online campaigning is dependent on whether politicians seek to do more than just impart a message on potential voters.

“In terms of politicians and Parliament engaging I think it comes down a lot to how they choose to use their technologies—do they use it just as another means of advertising, so it’s essentially just a digital leaflet or are they using it to engage with constituencies which they otherwise would not engage with.”

Facebook and Twitter are not necessary an ideal venue for democratic discussion. Stone notes that despite Facebook’s ability to break down geographic boundaries, often particular causes and discussion will only engage a certain segment of the population.

“You don’t necessarily get a debate; you get a conversation between likeminded people.”

The Importance of Education It appears that the revolution will not be catapulted on high speed broadband from Twitter and Facebook accounts. But Stone suggests that a democratic overhaul of sorts could be created by educating young people about the democratic process and why it is important.

A qualitative survey of young people commissioned by the Electoral Commission in 2007 examined why young people were reluctant to vote. Reasons included distrust of politicians, a lack of knowledge about the process, an unwillingness to participate in a process which was perceived to Civics education no direct benefit and refusing would help to engage have to vote on principle. Those in young people in the last category preferred to be politically active through protest, the political system, volunteering and petitioning. teaching them Stone believes that civics about the practical education would help to engage side of democratic young people in the political participation system, teaching them about the practical side of democratic participation as well as why this participation is important.

While many people criticise aspects of civics education which are currently in the curriculum—such as the Treaty of Waitangi—Stone contends that learning about the government does not have to be boring or repetitive. The key point is how the curriculum is presented to school students.

“I mean, I think there’s no end of interesting things you can learn about the Treaty of Waitangi but if you’re learning every year that it was signed on 6 February 1840 then, yeah, that is going to be boring.”

As well as the ‘facts’ of the political system, young people would be taught key skills that will enable them to participate fully in their society. This would include the ability to analyse and critique information which would help young people to understand how to choose the party or salient.org.nz

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candidate that suits their value system best. Democratic engagement can be difficult without such skills because of the sheer quantity of information out there and the amount of jargon which is present in it.

Analytical and critical ability are generally only honed at a tertiary level but Stone believes there is potential for this type of education to begin earlier.

“You shouldn’t have to have a tertiary education to be able to understand and hold your government to account.”

While many may question whether five- to 18-year-olds are capable of understanding government processes, Stone believes that civic education could be effective if it engaged with people using concepts they already know and applying them to a different context.

“Obviously you’re not going to talk about the complexities of different forms of representation with five-year-olds but you can talk about ideas of fairness and ideas of having a say.”

Teaching young people the skills of engaging with government as well as the basic processes of selecting preferred candidates and parties has the potential to overcome a significant barrier that currently prevents effective participation for many young people. That hurdle is based in difficulties of communication, with government only taking on board the concerns of young people who can express their problems in a particular way.

For Stone it appears that issues affecting young people are being “lost in translation”. To participate fully, young people need to “understand the issues raised in the media about Parliament and translate this into their own language and then also translate their problems into the language which is understood by Parliament or the media.”

You might question the effectiveness of attempting to increase democratic engagement by solely focussing on young people within the education system—and neglecting those who are no longer at

school. This is why Stone thinks that it is important to begin civics education early, when children are more likely to be in school. She also believes that it is important for members of the community to pass on knowledge and to keep the younger generation in mind when making political decisions.

Some civics education initiatives have already been established in New Zealand. The Electoral Commission began the Kids Voting scheme in 2007 which provides year nine students in secondary schools across New Zealand with the opportunity to cast a ‘vote’ in the general and local elections. In the 2008 general election, 13,079 children voted through the scheme.

Children chose from the same selection of candidates as the adult population although the final results differed with Greens and the Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis party receiving 11 per cent of the vote.

The highest minor party vote went to the Bill and Ben Party, who polled at 12 per cent.

The importance of the Kids Voting initiative is not in the end voting tally, but in the skills and knowledge that children gain through the process. The reported benefits of the study include an increased knowledge of Parliament, a decreased perception of the voting process as complex and a rise in the number of participants who intend to vote when they turn 18.

Ultimately it is not new technology which will provide heightened levels of democratic engagement or encourage previously unheard voices to participate in the political process. The revolution will not be an application on your iPhone or a controversial Facebook redesign. It is the people behind the technology who can make the difference. While providing the next generation with the skills and knowledge to influence government might not result in the ideal democratic society, it seems like a pretty good place to start.

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Krzywy Las David Burr

I’m just going to come right out and say it. This week, I cheated. This Animal of the Week isn’t so much an animal as it is a forest. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a damn cool forest. I just thought I’d give you a heads up.

In the north-west of Poland, amongst a dense pine forest a small area is known as ‘Krzywy Las’. Although it sounds like an Icelandic volcano, this translates to ‘the crooked forest’. Here about 400 trees remarkably all have a 90 degree bend at the base of their trunks, then slowly curve back up, becoming vertical again. Due to the unique appearance of The Crooked Forest it is classed as one of Poland’s national monuments.

The trees were planted in the 1930’s and grew for seven to ten years before this bending occurred. However, this is all that is known about The Crooked Forest. Several theories exist attempting to explain the cause of this bizarre deformation. The most popular is that the trees were shaped this way by humans for use in boat or furniture building. Personally I prefer some of the other theories, such as the combination of snow and wind, WW2 tanks, angry birds aftermath or animal migration.

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Animal

Bipo Fact lar a me bears do ntal il no ln enjoy ess. T t have sex hey of bo with bare just th ge b ndbe ears ars.

Internet Addiction What’s the big deal?

Gerard Hoffman Manager Student Counselling Service

We all have anecdotal stories of friends or family members who seem to spend huge amounts of time on the internet- gaming, social networking, YouTubing, trading or simply surfing. Victoria’s ITS department estimate that 80 per cent of broadband internet used by students is in non-direct academicrelated use—mostly social networking, surfing and gaming. It’s also true that mastery of the computer and of the online world are integral elements of successful university life and having the complete student experience. So how is it that something that has always promised so much can also for many people create so many problems for so many people?

Clinicians and researchers around the world are identifying increasing numbers of people (including university students) with debilitating internet dependence as characterised by the following criteria (adapted from DSM IV Substance Dependence): • • • • • • •

Tolerance Withdrawal Using larger amounts over time than was intended Desire or unsuccessful attempts to cut down A great deal of time spent obtaining, using or withdrawing from it Social, occupational, academic and recreational activities are reduced Use continues despite negative effects

You can see from this list that there are some pretty predictable behaviours that human beings exhibit when we are becoming addicted to either a substance or a behaviour whether it be misusing alcohol or other drugs, or gambling, exercise or internet overuse. It’s all to do with our innate human desire for immediate gratification, to seek pleasure and to avoid pain. Nothing is wrong with that except that the reality of life is that we need to find ways to balance our lives and be both reasonably happy and productive. For students, this obviously involves being able to focus on studies, sleep more than occasionally and limit unhelpful behaviours and habits. Internet addiction and depression have a close relationship.

Here at the Counselling Service we get a steady and increasing number of students coming to talk to us about their internet use. This typically involves large and increasing amounts of time spent online and the resultant impact on sleep, ability to study, attend classes or complete assignments; 'increased isolation'; feelings of irritability, shame, failure and unhappiness and an inability to change things. Porn addiction is increasing amongst the boys with the obvious social taboos about admitting to this preventing more students seeking help. It takes courage (and sometimes desperation) to confront this kind of issue, and the good news is that we can help.

So what to do if you think this might be you? Take the Internet Addiction Test and see if this indicates a problem: internetoveruse.com/wp-content/uploads/ Internet-Addiction-Test.pdf . Make a time to come and talk to one of the counsellors and we will help you to make a plan to deal with this. Helpful action steps can include telling others, removing your internet access at home and building up the rest of your life. If it is not you, great, but continue to be mindful on how you use the internet and for what purpose.

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Issue 23 Politics

The price of milk, the value of water I’m gonna level with you—I don’t like John Key.

jason govenlock

When he appeared on Hard Talk and, in front of an international audience, sweepingly dismissed research brought before him by scientists from his own country, I felt colossally insulted. So I wonder what his reaction will be, if any, to the recent findings of the OECD international report on water quality? The OECD report echoed what our scientists have been saying about our water quality for a long time now—it’s getting worse, and the main cause is intensification of agriculture— particularly dairy. This comes at the same time as we hear of record breaking sales, profit, and payout to farmers from Fonterra, and growing discontent about the price of milk in New Zealand. People are going to be demanding answers pretty soon.

Personally, I am not overly concerned with the price of milk products in New Zealand. I don’t think it is unreasonable to be charged the same amount as people in other countries, at least as long as there is not too much speculation in milk. More interesting (and worrying) to me is the issue of managing our water resources. This is a difficult subject, because it mostly

involves pollution that has been grandfathered into the system.

In the past everyone took our water resources for granted and farmers would dispose of effluent in their local rivers. This didn’t create a problem because the rivers had (and still do have) a capacity to absorb and neutralise pollutants at a certain rate, and the level of dumping was below this rate. Now, however, we find ourselves in the situation where we have exceeded the natural capacity to neutralise pollutants. More are building up in the waterways and the health of these systems is dropping.

Now something has to be done to clean them up. But, of course, no-one is keen to put their hand up and volunteer their own money to do the job.

There will be a tipping point anyway if we don’t intervene at all—farms also need a certain amount of clean water to run, and when that starts running out they will need to buy it or pay for it to be cleaned, which will hit their profits. Fonterra’s scientists know this too. I have spoken with one, and I know that they are putting a substantial amount of research into clean water. The results are good. For example, their newest processing plant is able to capture some 99 per cent of the pollutants instead of dumping them. But all the research in the world won’t help if there is no cost for failing to maintain the water quality. We must phase in a system to ensure that the users pay. I have also spoken to government economists and learned that there is a trial of a ‘pollutants market’ in a region near Rotorua to create this cost to farmers.

All in all, I think Fonterra are doing just fine. But it is not their job to create a system in which they pay for cleaning their water­­—it is the Government’s job. If we don’t then it amounts to a substantial subsidy granted to farmers, and as their record profits indicate, they certainly are not in need of handouts to survive. The fact that Fonterra are already working on solving the water supply problem shows insight and good faith on their part.

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Romany Tasker-Poland

Ben Wylie-van Eerd

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Salient Vol. 74

constance cravings

With Dr Quaffer

Dear Auntie Shaz and Dr Quaffer, I’m about to embark on an adventure around Asia—I’ve got $1000, a backpack full of clothes, a ticket to Bangkok, and no plans. What’s the best fun I can have?

Thanks, Jeff.

Dear Jeff, Dr Quaffer here. Well, a grand can go quite far in South East Asia. It all depends on what you mean by "fun". There are spots where you can fire an AK47 whilst getting a hand job for around US$20 and that usually does include at least one free drink. But it all comes down to what you enjoy.

While in Bangkok, I do recommend hitting the Forensics Museum.

They have a wonderful collection of pickled bodies from Thai murders on display, as well as some elaborate tattooed skins stretched and back-lit after being removed from notable dead gangsters. Very entertaining stuff.

The first time I went to that part of the world I was young and up to party. If you’re keen on that, hit the islands! To writhe with other half-naked travelers under the winking gaze of a full moon to booming trance in an orgy of cheap booze, ecstasy and insect repellant has its merits.

If you’re up for lurking in a bit of jungle, maybe head south to Sumatra or Borneo. Both are very beautiful and easy to get to.

For a bit of old slack-jaw awe, Angkor Wat is the one. The ancient Khmer city is not just amazing Jeff, it is amazingly amazing. Also whilst in Cambodia maybe take a romantic stroll through the Killing Fields.

Head north to the Golden Triangle and smoke a bit of opium if you’re keen, then head east through Laos floating down the Mekong for scenic, rural bliss all the way to the Delta in Vietnam, or maybe head west and do a chaotic road trip to India.

My honest advice, Jeff, is to get off the plane and head for Khaosan Road, drop your bag off at a guest house and go out and sniff the air.

Talking to other travellers who are doing the same as you will also inspire. No plans means freedom.

Travelling can be kind, cruel, fun and harrowing. You can be drinking top-shelf one minute then asked for money by a child-slave the next.

Jeff, just remember never carry drugs on you, always drink bottled water and if someone seems a little too friendly you are probably going to lose something.

But have a great time! Don’t be too careful, be a bit reckless, get amongst it, taste it.

Yours sincerely, Dr. Quaffer, Head of The Virago Libation Front

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Dear Constance you may be the only reason I pick up a Salient each week. I've been in a relationship with my man for a few years now and the sex is getting boring. I love him and he tries hard but he is not very creative. I've had him fulfil some of my fantasies and despite asking him to share some of his, he never comes up with any. So we just go through the motions. Can you suggest some tips and tricks maybe even some daring positions to bring out the passion?

- Longing for Lust You know what’s interesting is that I am starting to genuinely think some people don’t have fantasies or fetishes. Well, further than your ‘I like girls in sexy lingerie’ stock standards, and given that I have people with poop-happy boyfriends and garden nudists writing in to me, I feel like the stock standards probably don’t get enough attention. So I’m glad you wrote in.

I’m hesitant to give you tips and tricks because there are a million places like that, and frankly regular sex with your boyf should be just as important as the times when you decide to try something you saw in porn.

Your boyf might not have some deep longing for you to be bound in rope and ball-gagged, but he will have preferences.

He will enjoy it when you dig your nails into his back a little bit when you're fucking, or when you play with his balls while you’re giving him head. Whatever those little things might be, focus on them, and get him to focus on your little things. That way, even though you might not be having wild crazy sex—you’re having good sex.

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Issue 23 Politics

Wild sex is awesome, but you don’t need that to have passion. Passion is exploring the other person, bouncing off their reactions and generally being in the moment focussed entirely on what’s feeling great. Build things up really, really slowly from teasing to full on fucking, and let him know when you’re enjoying it with some seriously vocal appreciation. Build-up is so important—double the length of your foreplay, get him to wind you up with all of the things you like and refuse to fuck you until you’re gagging for it. And (if you have ladyFrankly regular sex bits) until you with your boyf should are wet like a monsoon. Then be just as important by the time it’s as the times when P into V action, you decide to try you’ll be so fucking into it something you saw you’re a little in porn bit dizzy.

Let’s be honest though, when you’ve been with someone for a really long time, it’s not always going to be headboard clutching, heart pounding stuff. Getting into ruts that can last a really long time is super normal.

Just ease yourself out of it with a renewed sense of interest in making him feel really good and taking your sweet time when you’re together, and I’m sure he will return the feeling. You say you love him, so make sure those moments really focus on that and how much you enjoy being with him. He’ll feel how much you’re into it, and hopefully give back. Which is pretty much the best thing we can all hope for when we get those moments alone. If it happens to go into wild territory because you really feel like being spanked that day then good for you, but work on the connection first and foremost.

Loves x

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? estion sex qu Got a to ask Want usly and mo to anony alient? Go r S fo in m it o e .c se ance ed 15 t s n o askc ard-earn ss, your h s of facele e minut sless fame pant

ALLY GARRETT

Four Things I’ve Learned From Lesbians I haven’t always been a rug

muncher. I was (mostly) all about the the dudes until I met my girlfriend.

Over the course of our relationship I have not only perfected the art of carpet licking but I have also befriended many excellent lesbians.

Stereotypes are stupid, I know, and sexuality is irrelevant, but there are some things that only the lady-lovingladies in my life have been able to teach me. I’m sharing them with you, in the hope that we can all learn a little somethin’ somethin’.

1. Be supportive

When you’re a lesbot there are fewer opportunities to feel part of a community than there are for straight people, which is why LGBTQ spaces are so important. This is also why scissor sisters just love to support each other. Lesbians, bless their hearts, come out in droves to support Sapphic stand up comics, musicians and events. The success of roller derby can surely be 80 per cent attributed to the voracious way that the lesbian community really put their money where their mouth is (so to speak) and show up at the TSB Arena to buy beer and shout at hot women with formidable thigh muscles. Dyke camaraderie is also entirely responsible for the success of the L Word—a truly terrible television show with an average of three gaysexualist sex scenes per episode.

As lacklustre as the show may be, I am yet to meet a lesbian who doesn’t own the box set. The lesson here is to support whatever it is you want to see more of in the world. Be generous.

Donate money to the blog you love. Go

and watch your friends playing sport.

Volunteer at the film festival you don’t want to see disappear.

2. Use lubricant

Like that precocious red crab said in the Little Mermaid, darling it’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me. If anything is being inserted anywhere: lubricate it. Liberally.

3. Resist drama

There are only so many clam diggers to pick and choose from and thus, the net of lesbian intimate relations is a sticky one, both figuratively and literally.

The net is inescapable, because even when you move to London and you go to a gay bar called the Twat Boutique and you have an actual boutique of twats to choose from you will still end up going home with my girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend. As a muff diver, you just deal with this. I’ve held pot lucks where every vagitarian in the room has slept with everybody else. It’s not awkward, even though everyone has seen everybody else naked. We can all take a page out of the lesbian-book and learn from this. I’ve had heterosexual friends who have refused to attend parties because there is a chance their ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend might be there. Resist drama. Go to the party.

Say hi. At the very least, you can compare notes on funny orgasm faces.

4. Marinate your tofu

I’ve eaten a lot of tofu in my life and the best stuff has always been cooked by lesbians. Marinate that shit for as long as possible.

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Music

Nirvana month!

Angharad O’Flynn

In the words of Jon Stewart, the sound of Nirvana was like “The Beatles had swallowed Black Flag”.

By 1991, this small, three-piece band from Aberdeen,

Washington was on to its fifth drummer and was getting ready to become a part of music history. Even though the band were only together for a short time, Nirvana created music that is still loved by fans and sung by artists today (Miley Cyrus, bless her heart, but for heaven’s sake don’t Google her rendition of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit').

On 24 September 1991, Nevermind, Nirvana’s breakthrough album hit the shelves. The record company they signed with, DGC, estimated that the band would reach perhaps 40,000 units of the album in the USA and around 30,000 in the UK for that year. However, the release of the breakthrough single 'Smell Like Teen Spirit' a few weeks earlier, ensured Nevermind album sales skyrocketed. The shipment of records DGC had sent out sold out quickly and the album was unavailable for days in some areas.

It surpassed all pre-conceived record sales that Geffen’s marketing department had guessed and the album reached both Gold and Platinum status by the end of 1991. Nevermind became Nirvana’s first number one album on January 11, 1992, knocking Michael Jackson out of the number one spot in the Billboard charts. By this time, it was selling a ridiculous number of around 300,000 copies a week internationally.

As Butch Vig said, Kurt wanted the album to sound really heavy, as the songs themselves were very simple and poppy. The band themselves shot to superstar status, headlining festivals and spawning legions of imitation bands and a whole generation of grunge kids who looked up to Nirvana, and Kurt Cobain in particular, as their leaders.

Other bands from Seattle playing a similar style of music

It was selling a ridiculous number of around 300,000 copies a week internationally

KEY • 500,000 units: Gold album • 1,000,000 units: Platinum album • 2,000,000 or more units: Multi-Platinum album • 10,000,000 units: Diamond album • RIAA = Recroding Industry Association of America • DGC = David Geffen Company became hotly contested by record labels, eager to cash in on the new sound and style of grunge culture.

Three more singles were released from the album that year—'Come as you are', 'In Bloom' and 'Lithium'—all of which just added to albums sales.

In 1999 Nevermind was certified Diamond, and has continued on to sell over 30 million records worldwide.

It was ranked number 17 on Rolling Stone’s Greatest 500 Albums of All Time. Not bad for a three-piece band who didn’t use any form of auto-tune to record their album.

While the history of the band is well-documented, and the tragic suicide of Cobain saw the band only release three studio albums, their music, and particularly Nevermind, has established itself firmly in the Rock and Roll canon.

Nevermind changed the face of popular music, and inspired a generation of teenagers in a way that only a handful of bands have ever managed.

For the anniversary of the original release, a four CD/ DVD Super Deluxe Edition of Nevermind has been released and is available now. NOW, I TELL YOU!

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Top 3 Gigs Tuesday 4 October at 7.30pm BODEGA: Tuesday Night Speakeasy —Swing Dance Night Friday 7 October at 7pm SAN FRANCISCO BATH HOUSE: Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra EP Release Friday 7 October at 8pm MIGHTY MIGHTY: Fabulous/Arabia “Unlimited Buffet” Release Shows

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Issue 23 Politics

Theatre

The First Asian AB Sam Phillips

How should we define New Zealand culture? In her program notes to The First Asian AB, playwright Renee Liang points out “NZ is a nation of immigrants”.

The play takes a look at the New Zealand culture from the perspective of a fresh-of-the-boat Malaysian boy, a member of the 1.5 generation (someone who immigrates during their teens, and thus has elements of both cultures as part of their identity). So what makes a New Zealander? And is it anything more than a desire to be an All Black?

We begin by meeting two adults, an Asian doctor and a Samoan alcoholic rugby player, pretty stereotypical fare. Then we head back to 1995 and learn exactly how the two came to be where they are, at the same time typifying the New Zealand childhood of the 1990s.

We meet our Asian doctor, Wei Lei (changed to Willy) aged 13.

He’s been sent to New Zealand for his education and spends a good part of the play adjusting to the New Zealand way of life.

He experiences our customs and our customs department, endures being treated like a zoo exhibit at school and has to get around what there is to eat. Luckily with a smattering of kung fu, the charming Willy learns to fit in pretty well.

Willy and Mook, his new best friend, get busy living the great kiwi childhood. They go to The Warehouse and get a bargain, eat milk bottles, go to Georgie Pie and get excited about Sky Television. This play champions the 1990s kiwi childhood and captures those things that our generation can really tangibly identify with. You know the ‘free hit’ rule? When you stand on those yellow fire hydrants and you get to hit someone? That’s in there. It’s awesome.

The play turns to the question of rugby. The championing of rugby is something I suppose I just have to get used to—it’s an important game (Indeed musing on rugby, Willy notes ‘it was a whole new world and I’d never seen men so in touch with their feelings”).

I was impressed at the collaborative nature of this piece.

Playwright Renee Liang has acknowledged the help of many in her programme notes and it was no surprise to me to see Oscar Kightley credited as dramaturg. Kightley, a co-writer of Niu Sila, is a master at the two-hander format and the structure and comedy of Niu Sila have been reproduced here to great effect. The humour of jumping

between multiple characters has become really very effective at expressing a New Zealand voice; Wheelers Luck springs to mind as another great example. Liang uses this form and her own brand of comedy to make jokes that don’t rely on bodily functions or awkward situations, a real relief to me.

The play is backed to the musical stylings of Robbie Ellis who is just plain great. The set uses simplicity as the key. The play's climactic ultimatum (do I want to be a doctor or an All Black?) sees Willy deviate from his previous desire to do right by his grandmother, but the heart warming conclusion and epilogue are lovely. Ending on a message of hope and enduring friendship, The First Asian AB is a genuinely funny, heart warming piece of New Zealand theatre. So before we all graduate and move to overseas, go and see this play.

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The First Asian AB

By Renee Liang 22 September - 1 October at BATS

Interview Kurt Barber has a chat with THEA 303 students Sam Hallahan and Karin McCracken about their upcoming performance of Big Love Kurt: So just for people who haven’t heard of Big Love, can you tell readers a little about what they can expect from THEA 303’s performance?

Sam: In terms of the play it’s very loosely based off a classical Greek play. The play itself is on the subject of love, it’s very comedic, very cleverly written. Very big and abstract, and also very fair, it looks at every point of view.

Kurt: Your piece combines Noh and Kabuki theatre, Chinese opera and Classical Grecian theatre with modern acting practices—this is a very eclectic mix. Why did you choose these theatrical elements in particular?

Karin: Well our course is Asian Theatre. It’s a really interesting avenue of theatre that isn’t often looked at. The play allows itself to be influenced by many different forms of acting techniques and theatre, due to the beauty of the script.

Kurt: Who is your target audience?

Sam: Considering what the script itself looks at, anyone who’s old enough to appreciate the idea of love will get something from the play. You don’t have to share Charles Mee’s ideals—the way we’ve put it together opens the performance to anyone.

Karin: Yeah, you can’t really pigeonhole the performance. It’s so varied in every sense of the word.

Kurt: And what do you expect audiences to take away from the performance?

Karin: That’s totally dependant on who the person is, and how they see the world. Realists, cynics, and idealists will all come away with different views of the play, but hopefully our portrayal of the characters will mean everyone will see some good and bad in the performance. But it’s definitely not a rom-com.

Big Love

By Charles Mee 4— 8 October at Studio 77 7.30pm

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Books Stuart Peters

The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin

by Joe McGinniss

Confidence Men

by Ron Suskind

The vast majority of political non-fiction tends to fall into one of two extremes – staid, utterly dry analysis that excites only the most ardent POLS student, and speculative, populist rubbish that spins the smallest of facts into hype-able bait for the news cycle. This week sees the release of Confidence Men, the latest book by Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Ron Suskind which promises to “offer a new account of the financial crisis and its aftermath”, and just might manage to hit the sweet spot of readability and credibility.

Confidence Men has generated a huge amount of hype in the U.S. for its focus on the inner machinations of the Obama Administration, and in particular for painting a less than flattering picture of the President’s relationship with Confidence Men his team of economic advisers.

Suskind was given extensive has generated a access to White House officials, huge amount of including an interview with hype in the U.S. Obama himself, and the book has for its focus on the been pitched as very much “an inner machinations insider’s account”.

There’s no doubt Suskind has of the Obama a credible reputation; he won a Administration Pulitzer Prize for his work with the Wall Street Journal in 1995, and has previously published several best-selling and critically acclaimed books on the George W. Bush Administration. His integrity is not without blemish, however, and Confidence Men has ignited debate as to the veracity of many of Suskind’s claims. There have been allegations of misquoting, exaggeration, and a plethora of factual errors. The White House has outright denied much of the book, saying it bears no relation to reality.

Despite the uncertainty as to some of his claims, Confidence Men is based on extensive research and over 700 hours of interviews and Suskind has been widely praised for his egregious and eminently readable prose. For those with even a minor interest in the inner workings of the Obama administration, Confidence Men looks a must-read.

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A mere five days after Confidence Men sees the NZ release of a political book of an entirely different nature. The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin is marketed as an investigative chronicle but has been characterised by advance reviews as “a gossipy tale”, “the embodiment of the hatchet job”, and “a sketchily sourced compendium of low blows and inconsistent accusations.”

McGinniss has a long history in this kind of personal journalism, having previously authored The Selling of the President 1968, a hugely successful account of Richard Nixon’s marketing campaign during the 1968 presidential campaign. However where that was acclaimed as a classic of political journalism, The Rogue has so far unified critics in their dismissal of the book as a populist biography full of unsubstantiated rumours and conspiracy theories.

The Rogue includes a variety of salacious allegations, involving sex, drugs, and even bad parenting! While Sarah Palin the Presidential candidate might be worried about such an expose, that scenario is looking less and less likely. Meanwhile the old adage that there’s no such thing as bad press speaks volumes, and Sarah Palin the media star goes from strength to strength.

The Rogue doesn’t look set to go down as a great in the pantheon of political writing, but it might make an easy and fun read for those particularly interested in the all-encompassing cultural behemoth that is Sarah Palin.

The Rogue includes a variety of salacious allegations, involving sex, drugs, and even bad parenting!

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Issue 23 Politics

rts

Visual A

Top 5 Political Artworks

Guernica

Anna Zabielski and Thomas Coughlan

Robert Kelly

The Temple of Bacchus at Ephesus (I’m sorry ex-NCEA

One universal factor for artists is that they are unable to exist or to create inside a vacuum.

Anything they produce will be to some degree defined by the temporal and cultural environments in which they were created.

Having said this some art products reference their time and place far more emphatically, and often do so with some form of political or social agenda; the most striking example of this in the 20th century is Pablo Picasso’s 1937 painting Guernica.

Stretching an epic 3.493 metres by 7.766 metres this dystopian, gruesome, yet strangely enticing image defined art as a political force in the in the 20th century through its subject matter and the immediate and visceral international reaction it inspired. Guernica was the name of a town in Spain which was bombed heavily by the Luftwaffe to the point where it was virtually destroyed. The Spanish Civil War began in 1936 and lasted until 1939, providing a testing ground for the new weapons, tactics and technology of warfare that would be put to more widespread use in World War Two. Picasso clearly expresses a sense of profound rupture in this work; a destabilisation of the order of the world as well as the nature of mankind.

Cubist and surrealist techniques create an alternate world within the work, one where human life has been reduced to tortured body parts and animals are twisted into demonic, unnatural figures. The smoke motif found across the work is complemented by the glare of the light bulb, casting the world of the work into a fragmented, chaotic space.

These stylistic features also imply a human destruction without clearly stating it.

For this work to assume the political mantle that it did in the 1930s, and has retained until this day, the title was required. By naming it after the Basque town dismantled in 1937 Picasso leaves no doubt as to the purpose of the work. Guernica is a poignant and compelling letter to humanity asking to not allow this kind of destruction again. It still holds this political relevance today and is particularly poignant in 2011 in terms of the civilian casualties in Libya, Afghanistan and Iraq. Despite its titular subject, the real political relevance of this work lies in the timelessness of its agenda; it reflects its time and place but also transcends them to assert its importance in the temporal space of the viewer.

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Level 3 Classics students, but we had to bring it up) is a characteristically Roman take on political art. The Romans needed a symbol of their dominance in the unruly Eastern Mediterranean. The temple is a harmonious fusion of eastern religious symbols put to the service of a western deity that simultaneously incorporates the culture of the occupied while projecting the Romans' powerfully eternal imperial message. What better way to celebrate imperialism than with the God of wine and revelry.

Eugene Delacroix, Liberty Leading the People. For

those who have any grounding in the French Revolution (or have a copy of Coldplay’s Viva la Vida), you will be all-too familiar with this Delacroix classic. The graphic violence of the blood-drenched soldiers in contrast with the celestial, flag-bearing Liberty leaves the viewer with an overwhelming sense of the brutality of the revolution. The painting not only creates a brilliantly visceral visual personification of the uprising, but also demonstrates the tremendous political resonance an image can possess.

Francisco Goya’s The Third of May—1808 is a potent

political image remembered as much for its assertion of Spanish nationalism as for its subversion of artistic norms. As the French troops round up and execute Spanish rebels, Goya uses their single lantern to subvert the place of light as the sacrosanct symbol of good in art. Here, light is used to sniff out the heroes in the shadows, to cement their martyrdom in earthy skin tones resilient to the candle’s sickly pallor. It is simultaneously a memorial and a powerful artistic precedent echoes in Pablo Picasso’s Guernica.

Unknown to many as Guerrillero Heroico (“Heroic

Guerilla”), the beret-wearing Che Guevara has become an icon of rebellion in the 20th century, as well as a staple fixture on the wall of any student flat. Although the image holds highly political connotations, it is perhaps more reminiscent of Warhol’s Pop Art screens of the 60s than the Cuban Revolution which took place in that same decade. Rather than representing a time and a place, Che has become an emblem of whatever the viewer decides him to be, demonstrating the power of an image through mass circulation, in contrast to what it is supposed to symbolise.

Banksy’s Gaza Strip Graffiti is a potent contemporary

example of the power of the political image. Banksy appropriates popular media imagery to make a political statement. Unlike images in the gallery space, Banksy’s media appropriated imagery relies heavily on its geographical context to form a political one.

The work, showing two children digging to paradise is a prime example of this—on the gallery wall it would be meaningless, on the wall dividing Israelis from Palestinians it is a powerful political statement.

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Film

BILLY T:

I SAW THE DEVIL Adam Goodall

Over the last few years, South Korea has proven itself incredibly adept at producing films of intense, visceral violence. Park Chan-wook, Na Hong-jin, Lee Jeong-beom and Kim Ki-duk have all made their names producing stylish, brutal dramas and thrillers and some of the most successful Korean exports have been unflinching in their presentation of extreme violence. So it’s no mean feat that Kim Jee-woon’s I Saw the Devil leaves all of these films in the dust when it comes to how relentlessly graphic it can get. Kim’s latest is a bloody, gripping journey through a hellish landscape where serial killers lurk around every The brief third corner and even the most moral man can become act shift to more a monster. It’s also the best film of the year.

Working with Park Hoon-jung’s relentless, naturalistic perpetually-escalating script, Kim captures architecture a world that’s more waking nightmare than and design is a reality. The Korea in which avenging angel masterstroke Kim Soo-hyeon (Lee Byung-hun) and sadistic murderer Park Kyung-chul (Choi Min-sik) play their vicious game of cat-and-mouse is claustrophobic and terrifying. Walls are caked with nauseatingly vivid colours and kitchens have more in common with torture chambers; outside, the oppressive darkness looms over those safe in their bubbles of light and snow. The brief third act shift to more naturalistic architecture and design is a masterstroke, carrying all of the violence and horror we’ve experienced for two hours into a world frighteningly close to our own.

I Saw the Devil’s immaculate production design, nerve-testing script and perfect central performances from Lee and Choi (again proving themselves two of the best actors working today) feed into the film’s greatest triumph—the ethical questions it asks of an audience that eagerly partakes in a cultural climate that demonises the other without truly understanding them (see Taken). While Soo-hyeon is initially easy to root for, his Neeson-esque resolve and good looks hide a darkness just as repulsive as the flabby, snarky Kyung-chul’s. The frenzy in Soo-hyeon’s eyes as he pursues and taunts his wife’s harried killer betrays his repeated moral justifications; his violent behaviour, deployed in the name of justice, is just as horrific and hollow as that of his quarry. Other films test your willingness to go along with a protagonist’s course of action, but none as effectively as this—I Saw the Devil is not only an astounding piece of craftsmanship but a truly riveting interrogation of what we consider ‘justice’.

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A black comedy telling the true story of Edinburgh’s most famous murderers: two 19th century grave robbers who found a lucrative business providing cadavers for an Edinburgh medical school. Fart jokes, coy sexual innuendo, slapstick — it’s just another day in the 1800s!

Available on DVD 5th October.

Win a copy of Burke & Hare, starring Bill Bailey, on DVD! Email editor@salient.org.nz with your name and address by 6 October

TE MOVIE Thomas Coughlan

There is a scene in Billy T: Te Movie in which previous winners of the Billy T Award for best New Zealand comedian elucidate on the late Billy T James’s importance to New Zealand comedy. They conclude that it is his wonderfully uneasy mix of uncomfortable racial awareness and wink-winknudge-nudge celebration of New Zealand’s drug and alcohol culture that endears him so fondly to the national psyche. James’ delightfully witty and cynical take on the uncomfortable realities that we all wake up to, a world of honkies and darkies, stoners and drunks, wasn’t groundbreaking then and is even less so now, but as with all great artists, the message was in the delivery and James’ shy-yetconfident manner conveyed a delicacy that somehow made all (or most) New Zealanders reflect fondly upon our culture, even with all of its many flaws.

It is a pity the same could not be said about director Ian Mune’s handling of Te Movie. He directs with the ugly heavy-handedness of someone unwilling to relinquish their storyteller’s reigns to his subjects. The constant interjections of silly and annoying graphics says less about James and more about Mune, who is clearly enamoured with the fact that computers can now animate pictures.

He directs like a child let loose in a filmmakers’ toy shop, playing with everything except his cast of exceptional characters. When the time comes for Mune to flex his emotional muscles he gives us a painful montage of comedians looking glum as they reflect on James’ death, a painful and didactic gesture that would have been the funniest scene in the film had the hapless director not slightly redeemed himself with generous helpings of James’ stand up clips.

Billy T. James was an exceptional comedian whose uncluttered honesty and appeal endeared a nation to itself. Ultimately, Mune’s production is cluttered and dishonest and does its subject a disservice.

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Issue 23 Politics

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Games

Anomolous Materials

War and what it is good for angus winter

For the most part of this year, a war has been waged across internet message boards.

As with the many others which have plagued our species, this war is over a subject both pointless and accentuating of the stupidity of mankind. Sleepless, Reddit-addicted fiends froth at the mouth while vehemently arguing with one another over which blockbuster war simulator to be released this summer will be more supreme. WAR! I am talking of course about the currently infamous Modern Warfare 3 versus Battlefield 3 debate.

In one corner, as the newest iteration of Activision’s yearly Call of Duty cycle, Modern Warfare 3 seeks to appease the masses of gamers who belong to the strange generation of online multiplayer that permits terrible manners and a worse sense of humour. These games are massively popular. Each consecutive release effortlessly shatters the sales records of the last and, amongst said gamers, becomes (as the saying goes) the new black. It’s an immense market, and, while the game itself looks unsurprisingly to be as minimal a departure as possible from its predecessor, Activison have woken up to the fact that people are as competitive and celebratory about these games as any form of physical sport. MW3 will be the first CoD release to work in total accordance with the new Call of Duty: Elite subscription. What this is, is essentially access to a maintained electronic sports community for CoD games for a $50 US per year fee. The subscription includes all of the basic features that you would expect it to, such as lifetime tracking of statistics and social networking options (did somebody say Facebook integration?). While it’s easy to paint this as the latest method by Activision to suck money from its army of loyal followers, the inclusion of more interesting elements, such as frequent competitions with both virtual and real-life prizes, monthly additional content, and professional strategies available to improve your skills make it seem like exactly the service it presents itself as—an option for those who consider themselves 'elite' (trust me, they exist) to take their gaming hobby a step further into a well designed, accessible community in which they could become legendary.

In the other corner sits Battlefield 3. To the untrained eye, both of these games look to deliver a homogeneous experience. However, as virtual recreations of modern combat go, there is much more to this comparison than a Pepsi/Coke situation. Where CoD can be seen as a sort of arcade-esque desensitisation of war, with an emphasis placed on arena style level design and pulling off ridiculous feats of skill, the Battlefield series embraces large-scale warfare and realism. In Battlefield 3, real-world physics alter the course of bullets, firefights are sudden and lethal, and structures are entirely destructible. It’s quite disconcerting knowing that, after having spent my entire gaming years safe from danger if hidden out of sight behind a wall, in BF3, an explosion could send the entire building crashing down upon me. Speaking of explosions, unlike MW3, BF3 lets the player pilot a number of different vehicles, including tanks, jets and helicopters. All of this will be delivered on the brand new, much-touted Frostbite 2 engine. This technology is set to raise the bar in terms of the technical strength behind game worlds. BF3 seems to be a perfect initial showcasing of what we can expect of the future in videogame visuals and sound, delivering an as-yet unmatched level of intensity and adrenaline in gaming.

While both of these games have an appeal in their own right, many fans of each have taken the view that the two are mutually exclusive experiences, and are quite up in arms about it. This is not an exaggeration; Anthony Abraham, a Battlefield fan, took it upon himself to buy the rights to modernwarfare3.com before Activision could, and provide both slanderous remarks towards the game and a redirection to the Battlefield 3 website. Needless to say, Abraham found himself slapped with a giant lawsuit. There’s a lesson to be learned here: rampant fanboyism achieves nothing. Let’s just pick one and keep the war to playing the games themselves, eh?

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Salient provides a free notice service for all Victoria University of Wellington students, VUWSA-affiliated clubs and not-for-profit organisations.

Notices should be received by 5pm Tuesday the week before publication. Notices should be fewer than 100 words. For-profit organisations will be charged $10 per notice. Send notices to editor@salient.org.nz, with ‘Notice’ in the subject line.

Dylan Jauslin

will be

Everyone knows Germany is famous for its beer. However, in New Zealand, the chances are that if you pick up a green bottle with an umlaut in its name, it’s probably a bad imitation made in Auckland.

Fortunately, this deficiency of actual German beers was noticed by an enterprising local beer guy called Dave (a lot of beer guys are called Dave). He took it upon himself to import some good honest German beers.

Waldhaus Privatbrauerei is an ancient brewery in the heart of the Black Forest. Recently celebrating its 175th birthday, Waldhaus boasts some serious pedigree. They make a range of traditional styles, including two Pilsners. Diplom Pils (4.9%) is the beer that Steinlager wishes it was: straw coloured and crisp as a freshly printed five Euro note with a beautiful slightly grassy yet not skunky German hop character. On the other hand, Ohne Filter Extra Herb (4.9%) is the unfiltered, extra hopped version of Diplom. Don’t be put off by the cloudiness (remember, chunky bits are flavour): not filtering this beer rounds out the flavours and the extra hops gives it a little more bitter weightiness.

Almost every discussion of German beer usually harps on about Bavarian purity laws. I don’t want to get into all that now (that’s another column), except to say that it’s 99 per cent bollocks.

Those laws were designed to stop the Almost every brewing of wheat beers. Thankfully, they failed and five hundred years later, discussion of we can enjoy Waldhaus Schwarzwald German beer Weisse (5.6%). This is a deliciously usually harps on yeasty brew, with all those subtle banana about Bavarian and clove characters that we’ve come to love. Or if you prefer, you can have purity laws a Schwarzwald Weisse Dunkel (also 5.6% and yes, that means ‘white dark’ in German). Similar to the Weisse, this beer has subtle dark caramel malt flavour edging into the mix.

Perhaps my favourite Waldhaus beer is the Radler. Some readers may remember the story of the DB/Green Man legal stoush.

Without rehashing all that (searching ‘radler’ on any NZ news site will tell you all about it), this is a genuine trademark-infringing cyclist beer. Loosely similar to a shandy, it’s drier and more complex than dumping lemonade into tap lager and a hell of a lot better than the syrupy Monteith’s crap. At 2.7% it’s highly quaffable (or as I like to descibe it ‘choppable’) and won’t get you drunk. A 500ml bottle rarely lasts me more than fifteen minutes.

Waldhaus beers are available from Hop Garden, Hashigo Zake, Regional, Island Bay New World and a few other spots around town.

Give it a go if you are feeling Germanic.

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Hoppy Birthday Hayley Adams

The man in my life had a birthday recently and I wanted to make something a little special.

Both he and I (along with our flatmates) are crazy for beer. Our flat is its own boutique brewery, with fermenters bubbling away under our dining room table year-round and swappa crates filled with peanut butter porters and black IPAs. So understandably, I figured mixing baking with beer would be well appreciated. I certainly was not wrong.

Dark and roasty beers, like porters and stouts are well known to accompany chocolate fabulously. So it seemed like an easy match.

After a little ‘research’ I found a recipe which I tweaked a little to create something to fit my purpose, a chocolate porter birthday cake. It’s crispy on the outside and dense and moist when you cut into it and that hint of porter will make your heart sing and your mouth water.

• 230g butter • 1 cup of porter/stout • 2/3 cup of good quality cocoa power • 20g 70% coco chocolate • 2 cups all-purpose flour • 2 cups sugar • 1-1/4 teaspoons baking soda • 1/2 teaspoon salt • 1/2 cup sour cream or plain unsweetened yoghurt • 2 eggs Preheat oven to 175 degrees Celsius. Line the base of a medium-large sized, round cake tin with baking paper and then grease the sides with butter. Melt the butter, beer and chocolate in a pot on the stove, bring it to a light simmer and then stir in the cocoa powder until completely dissolved. Remove from the heat and let cool. Meanwhile, sift the dry ingredients into a large bowl. In a medium sized bowl, beat the eggs and sour cream/yoghurt until creamy and pale. Add the beer mixture to the dry ingredients and then mix to combine. Finally add the egg mixture and beat to combine. Pour into prepared cake tin and bake for approximately 45 minutes, or until a knife inserted into the centre comes out clean. I covered my cake with tin foil after about 30 minutes; this will stop the top from burning and keep in a bit of the moisture.

When cool, frost with a chocolate butter cream frosting (add some more porter to it if you really love your beer) and serve with cream.

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Zomburlesque

of New Zealand (CAANZ): Advertising Account Executive

No smokers. Available from November until late February.

Full of dancing girls, live music, burlesque babes and zombies!

22/10—Japan NZ Hospitality

Text Katie 0211636383

On at Bodega from 2—6 October. Doors open at 8.30pm, tickets $20.

Women's Group Movie and Pizza Night, and BBQ! All genders welcome, come along and enjoy some noms and onesies. The BBQ (which will be amazing) is on Friday the 7th of October from 5:30pm and will be at Clare's House.

Please join the Facebook event and you'll be provided with the details. Pizza and movie night is on Monday the 10th from 5:30pm onwards in SU219 and is also a general WG meeting. See you there!

Drinking getting you down?

The first person to list three George Romero movies on our Facebook page will score a free pass to the Monday night show!

Greens@Vic The Green Party has an smart, green economic plan, and Greens@Vic would like to share our new way of thinking with you. Feat Kennedy Graham MP, Wellington Central Candidate James Shaw and Victoria University List Candidate Zachary Dorner.

Student Union Building, Meeting Room 2, Tuesday 11 October, 5pm.

AA Student Meeting

Authorised by: Jon Field, Level 2, 17 Garrett Street, Wellington

Every Thursday noon, Room SU219 in the Student Union Building

Veg*ns at Vic AGM

aameetingstudent@gmail.com

Two Babes Seek Two Babes To all babes, Two babes with great personalities and proven skills of news editing seek two babes who also have great personalities (news editing experience not necessary). If you want to date Molly and Stella, please send us your names so we can Facebook stalk you to make sure you are attractive enough (but not too attractive, due to our crippling fear of rejection).

Email news@salient.org.nz

Human Rights in Iran: Realities or Myths?

Talk by Dr Seyed Majid Tafreshi Khameneh, International Law, Tehran University Panelists: Negar Partow, Lecturer, Religious Studies Department, VUW

Are you vegan, vegetarian or just interested in the benefits of a veg*n lifestyle? Come along to our first AGM on Wednesday October 5th at 5pm, location TBC—join us on Facebook (Veg*ns at Vic) to find out!

VicIDS AGM and Election of Officers for 2012 Monday 10 October, 5:15pm, Cotton Building Room 304, Kelburn Campus All are welcome to come to VicIDS’ AGM. We will briefly talk about the club, discuss the year that has been, and elect officers for 2012 (President, Vice-President, Treasurer, Secretary, Cultural Officer, Events Coordinators, Promo and Website Coordinator, General Committee positions).

Great opportunity to get involved as a new member!

Free fairtrade tea and coffee provided!

Careers and Jobs

John Morgan, Officer of Human Rights, the United Nations Association of New Zealand

CAREERHUB: careerhub.victoria.ac.nz

Dr. Graham Hassall, Associate Professor, School of Government, VUW

Applications Closing Soon (details on CareerHub):

12.30—1.30pm, Wednesday 5 October

6/10—NZ Sugar Company, Victoria University (FCA Summer Scholarship Scheme)

Level 2 Student Union Building, Kelburn Campus For more information please contact Seamus Brady at VUWSA: 04 463 6986 or visit vuwsa.org.nz

2011/12 Internships and 2012 Graduate Jobs

14/10—Orion Health; Communication Agencies Association of New Zealand (CAANZ): Media Assistant 21/10—Communication Agencies Association

28/10—The Nielsen Company 30/11–Asia NZ Foundation; JET Programme VIC CAREERS: 463 5393, careers-service@ vuw.ac.nz, 14 Kelburn Parade Want to have your CV checked?

Scared of interviews?

Need a job? Summer work? Part time? Full time? Work experience?

Unsure of what to do with your degree? …visit Vic Careers or book an appointment with a Careers Consultant

Like Minds Wgtn Film Comp 2011 Opening Event of Mental Health Awareness Week Come along to see the finalist films of the Like Minds Wgtn Film Comp 2011 and get a chance to talk with the winners on a Q&A panel. This year the theme was ‘Be There. Stay involved with people experiencing mental illness’ and there are some beautiful films on show, all under 2 minutes long. Friday 7 October, Hunter Council Chamber, Level 2, Hunter Building, Gate 2, Victoria University. 5pm arrival, 5:30pm start. Free entry and complementary popcorn and juice.

Film Society: All the cool kids are doing it Do you want a chance to watch a vast range of weekly movies with fellow students?

Do you want to eat homemade popcorn while doing so?

Do you want to pay dirt cheap prices for it?

If the answer is “yes”, then come along to Film Society.6.30pm, Thursday night Memorial Theatre, Student Union Building This week, pay only $15 for a year’s worth of films (carrying through semester 1, 2012) or $2 for a single non-membership screening and watch Kiwi mockumentary Forgotten Silver... ...THEN eat free pizza and vote for our 2012 exec at our AGM straight afterwards.

2 bedrooms available to sublet over summer ...with possibility to sign lease for 2012.

Sunny upstairs four-bedroom flat, Fairlie Terrace—five mins to uni.

Vic Anime Club Come join the Vic Anime Club in the viewing of the movie Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann— The Lights in the Sky are Stars. There’ll be drills, rowing, fighting the power, and breaking the unbreakable and doing the impossible. As well as some epic stuff on top of that. We’re talking galaxy big. So if you wish to see this incredibly enjoyable movie, come down to the VUWSA building, Room 217 on 3 Monday October around 5pm.

Be sure to come if it’s the kind of thing you think you’d enjoy. Remember to keep rowing, and fighting the power.

Job Seminar Finishing uni soon?

Looking for a flash job this summer?

Come hear how a 20-something from the States found full-time work after losing his job in the midst of the recession.

Student Life hosts this event at 3pm, 4 October in Student Union 218.

Film Production Club The Film Production Club will be holding its initial meeting soon. Go to www.facebook. com/vuwfps to keep updated and find out more information, and email vuwfps@gmail. com to join the mailing list.

The goal of this organisation is to help increase the creative output, range of film-making opportunities, and cinematic education available to VUW students, by facilitating networking between those who want to make films.

The Victoria Film Production Society will have a regular newsletter of relevant news, advice, notices, and advertisements for those who want people to help them make a film. Demonstrations of equipment from filmmakers, screenings of student and postgrad films, and more are planned for meetings.

Everyone has something to contribute to a film with, and the goal of the Film Production Society is to link these people together. This is a student created and run organisation run primarily for the benefit of students, but also for the Film School and Victoria as a whole.

The Film School, and Dinocop, are supportive of this endeavour and hope it will be a useful tool in helping Students make, learn, and enjoy Film.

charles panic

Notices

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Issue 23 Politics

salient.org.nz

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Salient Vol. 74

Letters Salient Letters Policy 2011 Salient welcomes, encourages and thrives on public debate—be it serious or otherwise—through the letters pages. Write about what inspires you, enrages you, makes you laugh, makes you cry. Send us feedback, send us abuse. Anything.

Letters must be received before 5pm Tuesday, for publication the following week.

Letters must be no more than 250 words. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number. These will not be printed.

Please note that letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar.

The Editors reserve the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters without explanation.

Letters can be sent to letters@ salient.org.nz, posted to Salient, c/- Victoria University, PO Box 600, Wellington or dropped into the Salient office on the third floor of the Student Union Building.

m to ~

Send ‘e

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letters

to

g Wellin

Vampire comic sucks?

Each week I read the new Salient in whichever class is most boringest. And each week, after finally wading my way through the miasma I get to the letters page, which time immemorial has been the best part of Salient. And each week I am left dumbfounded that no one has complained about one particular part of Salient which each week fills me with rage. So as this year's Salient run is nearing a close I thought I would finally be bothered to complain myself. What pisses me off this much about Salient?

'Therapy with the Vampire' IT IS SO, SO, SO SHIT!!!

Seriously.

I appreciate that there needs to be some 'arty' comic strips, but look at 'Dinocop', which manages to have quality(ish) draftmanship, no plot and often no real joke and yet still have an aura of awesomeness. 'Therapy with the Vampire' has all the above yet its arua is of self indulgent crap. Its the equivilent of watching Vic theater students do 'interpretive preformance' (seriously if you were any good you would be at Toi). The 'Dinocop' comparison is all the more poingant considering the two were published side by side last week, and the massive gulf in class between them was painful. Please, please, please Robyn Kenealey (the name beneath 'Therapy with the Vampire'), give up. You suck really, really badly. Also Salient, obviously its a bit to late to cut 'Therapy with the Vampire', but hopefully the potential incoming editor/s will read this and think twice about publishing such drivel.

So yea, 'Therapy with the Vampire' sucks.

Good news for the lonely fellas Dear We-Just-Want-A-Laylient, NB: If you're keen after reading this title, head on over to notices for the hard facts. Need more convincing? Read on...

Being a news editor at Salient requires that one be smart, witty, and undoubtedly, a babe. Yet despite these attractive and proven qualities, we have had surprisingly few male suitors knocking on our doors.

What the hell is going on?

setting up a group for all of the atheists, antitheists, agnostics, skeptics and other miscelleneous non-believers on campus. It's gonna be awesome fun times. We'll get some discussions and debates going, get in some sweet speakers and you'll get to hang out with other cool people who share your views.

The AGM will be in the student union building on Tuesday the 11th of October. Come along, we're keen to hear your ideas on what this group should be about.

Regards, Freethinkers Association

You pay extra for the way it feels when rubbed against your face Dear Salient, The uni has been swamped by another trend.

These days it's pretty much impossible to walk 5 metres anywhere on campus and not see a macbook. Or should I say, little glowing symbols of consumerism. I can't help but sigh when I'm sitting in development studieseven those meant to be concerned with helping those less fortunate are taking notes on their three thousand dollar poobooks.

That's if they are taking notes and not looking at who else has a macbook on facebook. I'm just going to dispel a couple of the waferthin arguments facbook owners put up to convince themselves they aren't just buying yet another apple status symbol.

1) macbooks are not better computers- a windows pc with the exact same hardware specs will reliably be at least 1000 huck cheaper.

2) macs DO get viruses. I would make one to prove my point if I could.

C'mon now we're students. Surely we have better things to spend that extra grand and a half on!

And no, buying a macbook is not going to get that cute guy in psych/law/polscience to check you out. Or your hot-ass country road bag.

Adios, Jonnie Whatshisface

Salient and readers of salient,

And you don't need to take our word for it - two (yes TWO) Best Publication awardwinning Salient Editors (2011 and 2009) can attest to just how smokin' we are.

Towards one person, the lovely blonde gentleman walking up the terrace at about 6.50pm Tuesday 28th of September. You sir are absolutely fucking fantastic. Not only are you handsome, (wearing bare feet and carrying jandles is not a look many people can get away with) but more importantly you smiled at me. I was having a horrifically shit day and you mr fantastic made it infinitely better with that smile. So thanks.

And please everyone reading this: smile at those you pass because you don't know what is going on inside their head they might just need it.

If you want to be our boyfriends, please refer to notices for details of how to apply.

Yours feverishly, Molly and Stella

And yet nobody cared about the Apathy Society...

Hey Godlesslient, Finally the prayers of the non-religious community have been answered. We're

To Genevive Fowler.

Thanks for your really creatively written and insightful piece on your break up with an Evangelical God. In particular thanks for identifying and understanding that the God you got caught up with for a few years was the evangelical type, or I guess more specifically our western, modern, commercialistic and overly conformist style Christian God. And I say our, because I for various reasons continue to identify myself as a Christian.

And due to that identity I feel the need to apologise for the way the Christian God was revealed to you.

It sounded really shit. It sounded really manipulative. And unfortunately, it sounded really familiar.

You see, there always seems to be an element of popularism associated with any spiritual movement. This popularist approach much more strongly reflects current societal values through its appeal to things that are more familiar to popular culture. For example, that's where that dreadfully loud and repetitive pop Christian music finds its place.

Music's an obvious example, yet less obvious but far more important is the degree of cultural conformity that is encouraged and eventually expected through such movements.

So Ka Pai for thinking the way you do, and for telling us about it. I'm fortunate enough to know many Christians who have shared your pain and frustrations and are now genuinely finding faith, hope, love and freedom through the teachings of Jesus, and others.

I pray that you may continue on your journey towards what you know to be true.

In Love, Vaughan Smith

A particular Fleetwood Mac song comes to mind...

Dear Salient,

Maybe you were in an insurance ad?

Where are our dates? Our flowers? Our it's-spring-but-cold-as-winter spoons?

So seriously, what the hell IS going on?

Some of these Christians sound just lovely

This is a letter of both thanks and admiration.

Thank you again.

The blonde girl who really needed that smile.

I was struck by Genevieve’s story of breaking up with God. It was deeply personal and brutally honest. Yet her story was not original; it is a pattern that has been going on since the start of time. Way back, when God first made the world and people, Adam and Eve walked and talked with God having “some great times with this wise, enigmatic guy.”

But they had a decision to make: To live with God on his terms, or to choose to live independently, putting themselves as the supreme authority of their lives. We have the same decision today: to let God be God, or to make ourselves into gods. And, like Adam and Eve, we all choose to go our own way. Sometimes it’s a dramatic split, like Genevieve’s story. Sometimes it’s more low-key. For myself, for many years I knew about God, and played with him on Sundays because my family and his were friends. But I was still living for myself. Yet the story does not end with the breakup. God, because of his love for us, drew us back to himself

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through Jesus. God calls us back into a loving relationship with him.

God is not your boyfriend. You don’t enter the relationship on equal terms. This is God, the creator of the universe. He loves you.

He cares about your problems. But God is not under your control. He will not fit into the boxes you try to squeeze him into. Take him or leave him. But remember that he will never leave you.

Matthew

Well, they sure aren't at VUWSA!!

Dear If-He-Was-Labour-I'd-Do-Murray-McCullient, Where do all the left wing heterosexual/ bisexual male student politicians hang out? I can't find you, but I know I want to bang you.

Holla, liberal-luva (but not economically, yuck)

You know what else makes Elle cringe? Joy, children, nonalcoholic drinks...

Elle, I’m glad you only “look like a dick” when you set your hair on fire. I’m glad it wasn’t trying to do something that, you know, tries to change stuff that’s pretty fucked up really.

You bang on about “rationality”. Well, at the moment the “rational” approach to engaging with students is through student reps right?

Yeah, except that of the 80 student reps from PSIR who were emailed by VUWSA about the cuts and asked to gauge student feedback, only seven consulted with students and replied. Yet two protests that have been held in the past month and a half have attracted hundreds of students. Which makes it blatantly obvious to me that the “rational” system is failing us, the students.

There are a number of us who are trying lots of different things to reclaim our voice and our place within university decision making. Perhaps you and the rest of the Salient team could critically explore these issues rather than telling us that we should be embarrassed by attempts to challenge university management’s approach?

We Are the University holds meetings every Wednesday at 5pm in SUB. Come along if you want to challenge management in some creative ways and make Elle cringe.

Amanda Thomas ***

Elle responds...

Amanda, My opinion piece last week was not a commentary on or response to the ‘We Are The University’ movement, beyond the fact that its organisers could better articulate their points to both the wider student community and the University. As I wrote, “I don’t dispute that the lack of consultation with students on changes to the University is disturbing, but snarky repetitions of ‘Pat’ do not convey this”.

That you feel that the appropriate means of consultation are ineffectual is no reason to resort to puerile statements such as “keep your own fuckin head down Joyce.. most

students want it on a pike” (an administrator’s comment on your official Facebook page).

Salient has been actively engaging with and reporting on the issues facing tertiary students and education providers, as evidenced by our ‘Tertiary Education’ specials in ’10 and ’11, in which we explored how the Government’s capped funding scheme forces universities to make the cuts that you are so vocally against. Finally, in reference to your invitation for Salient to cover your movement—this is the first correspondence that anyone of ‘We Are The University’ has initiated with us all year.

Screams from the haters There are some issues that I feel need to be addressed as per you letter column last week.

Uni is massive! There are endless places that students can go to talk, socialize or otherwise not study. The library is full of books, books that people need in order to study. It is also meant to be a quiet place in which to facilitate study for those who otherwise do not have anywhere to go. I don’t pay 800$ per course to get on the piss, and then talk about it in the LIBRARY with all the people that I got on the piss with. This is extremely inconsiderate and childish. Some people actually care about their education. Maybe if mummy and daddy weren’t paying for you, you’d understand. I say turn the whole damn library into a blue zone.

Also, VUWSA, I am ashamed of you. I have sent multiple letters in regards to the construction, and the fact that Victoria University administration doesn’t seem to care about students, or their education.

For those of you interested, or annoyed at this also, I have written letters to VUWSA and the administration expressing my dismay with the current construction in the quad.

I have a background in engineering and offered some simple solutions, one being that they build throughout the night and cease working between the hours of 9am and 5pm. Logical if you ask me. What pisses me off is that VUWSA or Vic hasn’t even had the consideration to acknowledge that people are fed up with this. And for that, thanks.

Always nice being ignored.

Sincerely Asshole with an attitude

might involve racing after it to rescue it from passing cars and the cold embrace of the harbour.

All of you, get skateboards and colonise the waterfront. It’s fun and uni will be full of awesome asses to look at as you climb stairs. <3 Love, Pixie

A letter from 2005—Eminem's about as relevant as students' associations nowadays Dear Salient, Just because I can here is 8 Reasons Why Eminem's Popularity is a Disaster for Women.

1. Eminem's lyrics help desensitize boys and men to the pain and suffering of girls and women.

2. Girls are encouraged to be attracted to boys and men who don't respect women.

3. His popularity with girls sends a dangerous message to boys and men.

4. The racial storyline around Eminem perpetuates the racist myth that "hip" white guys are those who most closely emulate the sexist beliefs and hyper masculine posturing of some Black males.

5. Eminem's personal trajectory – either the so-called "true" story, or the explicitly fictionalised version in 8 Mile – perpetuates damaging mythology about abusive men.

6. Eminem's success has unleashed a torrent of mother-blaming.

7. Eminem has elevated to an art form the practice of verbally bullying and degrading people (especially women and gays) and then claiming "I was just kidding around."

8. Eminem's rebel image obscures the fact that sexism and men's violence against women perpetuates established male power – it is not rebellious.

Waffles are delicious Dear Gerald Lee (you twatwaffle), Go to the Hunter Lounge, go to Louis, go to the overbridge, go to the entire ground floor of Cotton/Alan MacDiarmid. For those of us wanting to utilize our student loans, the library is one of the few study dedicated spaces on campus. Even a construction zone is easier to study next to than you.

Those dicks!

Dear Hayley Adams, Did you know that there is a couple who go down Abel Smith St every Monday evening doing their own recycling collection - usually cutting open recycling bags in the process. As self proclaimed 'chief authority' you will know our oh so helpful rubbish collectors won't collect anything but neatly tied bags. Not everyone on Abel Smith St are dicks. Well not for their recycling habits anyhow.

That's probably our job Dear Studentelectionslient A bit of a 'holy fuck' at the amount of election material that's been swamping Uni. Maybe the environment officer could be the one who recycles the most of the other candidates flyers. Also, not sure if this is done or not but someone should keep all these flyers and list the campaign promises from each candidate, then follow up at the end of their terms to see who was the most effective at actually implementing them. Bags not me though.

Cheers.

Chris.

Heartbreak to the Max Help Salient I’ve been dumped on Facebook

by Constance Cravings

For more info: http://www.jacksonkatz.com/ eminem2.html The fact that Eminem is one of the most popular and successful musicians around shows something deeply disturbing about the society we live in.

Literally, nothing is more awesome than rollerblading Dear Salient, Last weekend I learned how to ride a skateboard. A very loose definition of ride.

I managed to traverse half the waterfront at night without crashing into pedestrians or falling into the harbour. Once I started to move more than three meters at a time, and stay balanced and in motion at the same time, a number of things suddenly made sense. All those guys zooming down the Terrace and around that unholy Ghuznee St. corner on their boards; skateboarding is fun and fast. It's also super easy down hill. The pert bums of the skater boys in my year 11 class; skating is takes effort. Skateboarding is even more awesome than rollerblading; when things are looking bad you can leap off a skateboard onto the sweet and stable friction of your shoes on concrete. This

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ACROSS: 3. Significance (5) 5. Malfunction (6) 7. Paradise (6) 8. Yank (6) 10. A cold symptom (7) 11. Elementary (4) 12. Public speaking (8) 14. Prosper (8) 17. Pseudonym (5) 19. Parasite (5) 21. A rotation (5) 23. To deter (5) 25. Bullfighter (8) 27. Commonplace (8) 30. Celebrity (4) 31. Beguile (7) 33. Twofold (6) 34. To beat (6) 35. End (6) 36. Fall smoothly (5)

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DOWN: 1. Obscene (6) 2. Ajar (4) 3. Drifter (8) 4. A tall fortress (5) 5. Charitable (8) 6. Emergency (6) 9. Gossip (7) 10. Veer (6) 13. Fastener (5) 15. Accommodation (5) 16. To place in the ground (5) 18. Dome-shaped house (5) 20. In demand (7) 22. Timid person (6) 23. Mockery (8) 24. To rise and fall (8) 26. Prophet (6) 28. Juveniles (6) 29. Aroma (5) 32. Gone wrong (4)

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ACROSS: 3. SCAR 7. BRUTAL 8. JOURNEY 10. TRIVIAL 12. YAMMER 13. FLUID 15. FIRM 18. BLUFF 21. SNACK 22. STAGE 23. RIVET 24. SMUG 27. PROVE 28. FIDGET 31. INSTANT 32. RESPECT 33. GRUDGE 34. FAWN

DOWN: 1. WRINKLE 2. SACRED 4. CHAIN 5. COCKY 6. RENDER 9. GLOOM 11. IMMENSE 14. OFFER 16. SKIP 17. DUST 19. LUGGAGE 20. MERGE 24. SPOIL 25. AVERAGE 26. HINDER 27. PANTRY 29. THICK 30. ASKEW

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Renee Lyons

CRYPTIC ACROSS: 3. The value of a toss (5) 5. Good luck with an irritation fault (6) 7. For the ideal place, I put adults only (6) 8. Pull some chin after songbird (6) 10. Fortissimo in the lines to repress tears (7) 11. Simple like Asia ending city (4) 12. Oratory from dear French riot (8) 14. Thrive from finely ground wheat, kinda (8) 17. A false name is viral, I assume (5) 19. Suck out the blood and flee, children! (5) 21. Spicy clean revolution (5) 23. Fend off the banana skin after the head of a Roman (5) 25. To read the disjunctive Escamillo (8) 27. Rain in Ellen’s blue fish is normal (8) 30. Baby remember my name for the anthem affixed (4) 31. Deceive and smile after the first Christmas (7) 33. The doe and ewe, a bit blended twice (6) 34. Thoroughly defeat the skin irritation (6) 35. See dim death (6) 36. Find your power animal in the playground (5)

CRYPTIC DOWN: 1. Lewd back rag and love sound (6) 2. Accessible nepotism (4) 3. Nomad urchin by mistake (8) 4. Loom into werewolves (5) 5. One surge to be kind (8) 6. Cry with a sibling for the disaster (6) 9. Idle talk from ears in horsefood (7) 10. Turn sharply to poetry with a measure of electricity (6) 13. Tightly hold the clause by the snake (5) 15. Loathe without a boarding house (5) 16. A factory from the Lieutenant and rival of Captain Hook (5) 18. Big lookout for the snow hut (5) 20. Eagerly wished for how I met your mother’s narrator by the inlet (7) 22. Company dependant chicken (6) 23. Derision curled with two eyes (8) 24. Unwarranted and tardy ripple (8) 26. Lion starsign about the car prophecy (6) 28. After you, True Hollywood Story for teenagers (6) 29. Sell with a thousand to whiff (5) 32. Restricted way is muddled (4)

Sudoku

Vincent Konrad

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Victoria is now offering more than 100 courses in Trimester Three 2011. A full list of courses is available at www.victoria.ac.nz/tri3 Most courses start on November 14, talk to your faculty about how to enrol.