Issue 22 | Trouble's a Brewin

Issue #22

Volume 81

Trouble's a Brewin

EDITOR'S LETTER 3 NEWS News 4 Politics 11 *News* 12 Informative Distractions 13 LETTERS & NOTICES 14 FEATURES Hunting for Katango 16 Digital Militarization: The Rise of the Manosphere 20 Deep Space 26 What’s the Tea? 30 POEM 29 CENTREFOLD 24 COLUMNS Presidential Address 32 VUWSA 32 Philosoraptor 33 SWAT 34 NT: Te Ara Tauira 34 From the Archives 35 Mauri Ora 36 Talking to My Dad About Sex 37 REVIEWS Film 38 Television 39 Book 40 Art 41 Music 42 Food 43 ENTERTAINMENT Triggerfin 44 Horoscope 45 Distractions 46

Editor's Letter The University Doesn’t Give a Shit About Us CW: suicide

Ok. So, obviously you can discuss individual cases with media.

I’m not angry that the uni is changing its name. It doesn’t faze me the slightest. Sure it costs a million dollars (likely more), but the uni thinks it’ll make more money in the long run. I’m inclined to believe them.

One thing you can be sure of is that the uni cares about is its pockets.

He then says, “the University was given just a few hours by Radio New Zealand to respond to questions about the story”.

Salient had given the University over two weeks to respond to questions about the story. Do the questions we ask just not count, or something?

Yes, the consultation was shit. The uni didn’t even try to ask what students thought. It couldn’t have been that hard to send a group email to the student body saying “do you want a name change?” And now that it’s still going ahead, with over 90% student opposition, it’s clear that “what the students want” isn’t a driving force behind their decision making.

Also, if you simply cannot discuss individual cases with the media, however long you are given doesn’t matter then does it? By your own admission, you can’t reply anyway.

If I sound bitter, it’s because I am. But also, transparency and accountability are so. goddamn. important. for an institution like a university.

I’m not even that pissed that fees are going up again. Resigned, more than anything. It happens every year.

Costs go up, fees go up, and at least now the govt’s capped it at 2%.

Small mercies.

At the start of the year, I interviewed Grant Guilford. He said that the he believed the function of universities was to hold power to account. He said that universities were the “critic and conscience of society”. The passion in his voice made me believe that he was for real. And part of me shares that vision.

The academics, calling out the government — that’s there, and that’s cool, and that’s necessary.

But you know what I’m properly angry about? Students’ mental health, the very very little that the university is doing to support it, and the quite a lot that the uni is doing to harm it.

Kicking someone out of a hall straight after they tried to kill themselves is shit. It’s sending a very clear message: “if you need help, then we wash our hands of you.” It takes all agency away from the resident when they’re in their most vulnerable state. The pastoral care that a hall is expected to provide — the very thing that differentiates halls from flatting — isn’t there.

I don’t know if he understands is that the university itself is a power. And it’s the smaller minnows like us that have to hold the uni to account. So Grant, if you truly believed that accountability is a value dear to your heart, hold yourself accountable. Make it easier for us to hold you accountable. Real students are really hurting because of your policies. That has gotta change.

I’d like to talk about the university’s response for a minute. After several news outlets covered the story, they sent out a press release. It was ridiculous as fuck.

Anyway, that’s why I don’t care about the name change. There’s other things I think matter more.

First, Grant Guilford says, “We cannot discuss individual cases in the media”. The very next thing he says is, “in the case in question, our staff met with the student and one of the parents to discuss the best plan for their health, safety, and recovery”.

LOUISE LIN Editor

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The News MONDAY 1 OCTOBER 2018

Goodbye, Honorable Spiny-backed Friend TAYLOR GALMICHE

been given the role to help lead and guide the euthanising of tuatara – “the hardest thing I have ever been asked to do in my environmental life”.

With this background she had the confidence to work with the Zoo hospital to “soften the environment by bringing tikanga Māori into the process”.

She asked Rob Thorne (Ngāti Tumutumu iwi), a recent university artist in residence with the School of Music, Te Kōki, to provide musical soundscape using taonga pūoro.

They used kawakawa from Te Herenga Waka Marae to surround the stark operating theatre. A tuatara-sized korowai covered Phoebe. “I created a mini home like she lived in at the Vic enclosure,” said Mcleod.

As the lighting dimmed, Terese recited a karakia that she learnt while working at Te Kawa a Māui, The School of Māori Studies.

“I wish I had the experience to do this with my first tuatara, we’ll never know how a tuatara feels but for the people present I definitely believe it took the edge off.”

The sadness of our community was most apparent in the comments of the Vic Facebook post announcing Phoebe’s death, with a surprising majority alluding to the correlation between Phoebe’s passing and the university name change.

Other commenters expressed grief over our lost elder.

“Sad times. Many memories shared,” wrote commenter Sam Lock.

“I think of the koha animals offer, tuatara to me are the world’s most ancient and ultimate meditation gurus,” said Mcleod.

On Thursday, Salient sent out a press release calling on the uni to offer a proper vigil for Phoebe.

“It’s the very least the University could do to show students that it cares,” the press release read.

Phoebe, Victoria’s beloved elder tuatara, was euthanized on 3 September at The Nest Te Kōhanga at Wellington Zoo. She was accompanied by her university guardians, with representation from Te Ātiawa iwi.

The announcement of Phoebe’s passing came weeks later.

According to Victoria the delay was to “give all those involved in Phoebe’s life time to carry out procedures and consult with Te Ātiawa iwi, who are her kaitiaki, and pull together an obituary”.

Phoebe was no house cat. She saw things her fellow, captiveraised tuatara did not. In the 90s she was found emaciated on North Brother Island. She wasn’t expected to survive.

To everyone’s surprise, Phoebe regained her health and lived another 30 years, joining the other tuatara in the Murphy enclosure upon its opening in 1996.

Phoebe provided more than samples for student research projects. She was known for her “sass”, referring to her selfpreserving “posturing” and “other visual cues”.

Though Phoebe’s age was unknown, she was decades ahead of her enclosure-mates. Towards the end of her life, she lost her vision, leaving her defenseless against attacks from the others. In 2016 she was sent to The Nest Te Kōhanga at Wellington Zoo for the treatment of some nasty head wounds.

Allegedly, those wounds became cancerous. Furthermore, Phoebe had a number of unhealed fractures on her ribs and hind legs from her days in the wild. Phoebe got to the point where she was spatula-fed, in pain when she moved, and effectively blind. It was no life for our old lady.

Terese Mcleod, an alumna of Victoria, worked with Wellington Zoo to incorporate tikanga Māori into the procedure.

Mcleod started at university the same year as Phoebe.

Representing Taranaki Whānui, she also lives among tuatara on Matiu Somes Island, Wellington Harbour, where she has 4

NEWS

MONDAY 1 OCTOBER 2018

Very Few Sexual Misconduct Incidents Recorded by Universities CAROLINE ROY complain, or how to do it,” said VUWSA Welfare VP Beth Paterson.

NZUSA released a report in August last year, In Our Own Words. It found that 83% of respondents reported being sexually harassed on a university campus, and 53% respondents reported having been sexually assaulted during their time at university. The survey was opt-in, with over 1400 responses.

Many people on the VUWSA #MeToo blog say that their assault took place in a supposedly safe place like a dorm room or a friend’s campus housing. In many of the cases, the perpetrator was someone who the individual trusted -- a significant other, a close friend, and sometimes an RA. Beth said the blog exists “to force policy makers to acknowledge there is a problem”.

Earlier in the year, a chemistry tutor at Vic allegedly groped females, made sexual comments, and followed them home.

When Salient tried to get information on this case, the university confirmed that they were unable to take restorative action.

“A restorative process requires the voluntary participation of all parties involved,” they said. “In this case, not all of the parties wished to be involved in such a process, so it did not take place.” “ Having student-led initiatives like the Thursdays in Black club means we can start from scratch and those most affected by sexual violence on campus have more power and agency [...] they can be the ones setting the agenda,” said Beth.

The past few years have brought more visibility to sexual assault cases than ever before, with movements like Time’s Up and #MeToo highlighting the prevalence of sexual misconduct in the lives of countless women and men. Just scroll through the #MeToo VUW student blog, and you’ll find a plethora of stories, each one different, yet all of them telling the same story: sexual assault is a huge problem on university campuses.

Earlier this year, Salient filed OIA requests to universities around New Zealand to find out how many reports each institution had on record. We asked for the number of recorded sexual assaults that happened on campus property within the last decade. The result? Universities across New Zealand recorded a shockingly low number of reported assaults each year.

Victoria University recorded only three total incidents of sexual misconduct in 2017, while University of Canterbury recorded two and University of Auckland recorded seven.

Lincoln University recorded only five incidents in the last decade. Auckland University of Technology recorded only two complaints of sexual harassment last year (not many compared to the 15 cases of bullying recorded in the same time frame), and the University of Otago couldn’t provide records at all, claiming that such reports were “scattered” or “inconclusive”.

When asked how many of these incidents involved a staff member as the perpetrator, the universities listed little to no reports. These numbers do not match up to the endless testimonies from women and men across social media and activism platforms who have experienced assault on campus.

“The numbers seem really low”, said Conor Twyford, Chief Executive of Wellington Sexual Abuse HELP. “It’d be interesting to see what the definition of sexual misconduct is in each institution,” she added.

She said that fear of limiting their career, fearing detriment to their academic careers, and an imbalance of power, are often reasons students choose not to report cases of sexual misconduct.

“One problem is that people don’t know that they can

Where to Get Help: • VUWSA Advocate, Erica Schouten | advocate@vuwsa. org.nz | 04 463 6984 (here to confidentially discuss your options with you) • Student Interest and Conflict Resolution Office | Emma Mossman | emma.mossman@vuw.ac.nz • Wellington Sexual Abuse HELP Crisis Line | 04 801 6655 (Sexual abuse counselling) • Rape Crisis | 0800 883 300 04 801 8973 (Wellington) (for support after rape or sexual assault)

"It's Not an Eviction" - VUW LOUISE LIN & TAYLOR GALMICHE After over two weeks of silence, Victoria University has spoken out about the student who was evicted from her hall following a suicide attempt.

“In the case in question our staff met with the student and one of the parents to discuss the best plan for their health, safety and recovery,” said Grant Guilford, our favourite Vice Chancellor.

He also lashed out at media coverage of the event, saying that calling it an “eviction” was “inaccurate, misleading, and irresponsible”.

Dani Saundry, the student in question, chose to put her name forward after the original article was published. On her public Facebook, she wrote, “If what Guilford claims happened *actually* was what happened when a crisis as such occurred, there would not be so many horrific stories of mistreatment of

mental health within student accommodation walls.”

“We know it’s not just one student, it’s not just one time – our students are struggling in our communities,” said VUWSA President Marlon Drake.

Dani said that if her father had not flown down to be with her, she would have been “on the street”.

“We tautoko Dani and her bravery to speak out about a hugely difficult period in her life – students like her are the reason things will change.” said Marlon.

“We have amazing frontline services at Mauri Ora, we have passionate RAs, we know there are people at this university who care and want to do more,” he said. “However university leaders, and the institution as a whole, need to own the fact that poor mental health is an issue within our community.”

“This is not an issue to be silent on.”

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NEWS

MONDAY 1 OCTOBER 2018

Student Services Levy Set to Slide Up SHANTI MATHIAS Committee on the Student Service’s Levy, which includes student representation. VUWSA’s President and Welfare VP sit on the committee, as well as a number of other student representatives. VUWSA surveys students representatives to best inform where the money should be spent.

Marlon Drake, VUWSA president, said that surveys had concluded that “Students want better resources and they want to see the money spent on those resources. [...] they want an increase with a specific outcome”.

Students mostly appreciate the work that VUWSA does. “I can see a range of valuable activities [by VUWSA] this year,” said Teri O’Neill. “I’ve done a lot of work with UniQ and [VUWSA have been] trying to get a safe space, as well as The Wait is Over. [I’m] pretty happy for extra money to be going to them.”

Drake wants to continue to focus funding towards LGBTQIA+ students. “[The] 4.5% increase is because there are significant issues in our community that need to be addressed. One of those issues is a lack of support for students who identify as LGBTQIA+.”

Other students didn’t find VUWSA’s work very visible. “I think [the SSL] is good value,” said Vadim Poetzl, an international student. “But I haven’t really looked into that.” He didn’t know that the SSL was increasing, but was relatively unperturbed.

The Student Services Levy, the mandatory fee which all VUW students pay in addition to tuition, is set to increase by 4.5% next year. The levy, which is currently $756, will rise to $790 next year.

The Student Services Levy funds the University’s health and counselling services, careers advice, clubs and societies fund as well as VUWSA. Since the introduction of Voluntary Student Membership in 2012, VUWSA has had to negotiate for funding from this pool each year (previously, a separate fee was charged for student association membership).

VUW’s current SSL is fairly standard in New Zealand universities. Currently at Otago, students pay $798; at Massey, non-distance students pay $567; at Auckland, students pay $813.

In 2017 a SSL set at $754 resulted in an income of 12.3 million dollars. In addition to other sources of income (the fees for using the student health service, advertising, and other commercial income), 10.9 million dollars was spent directly on services, with the additional money going to use of space, overheads, and third party contracts.

2017 was the first year since 2011 that the SSL made a surplus, with 147,000 dollars left over. However, the fund still has a deficit as a whole.

The Student Services Levy is determined by the Advisory

International Student Zapped With Obscene Electrical Charge SHANTI MATHIAS Concerns have been raised about fees in halls, after a student was charged $330 for basic electrical repairs.

The student, who preferred to stay unnamed, lives at Education House, a Willis Street Hall. In May, the power in her room spontaneously went out. She immediately informed hall administration; however, an electrician did not arrive until the afternoon of the following day. “He told me that the problem was with the main electrical box that was outside [the room],” she told Salient.

She asked what had caused the problem, hoping to avoid it in the future. “He asked me if I had been using the toaster and stove at the same time, I was like ‘I’m not an idiot’[...]

He [didn’t] know what caused the problem, it just randomly happened.” The electrician flicked some switches on the mains, and power was restored, though her laptop charger (which had been plugged in but wasn’t attached to the laptop) was broken, and she had to pay $50 for a new one.

About two weeks later — long enough that she had forgotten about it — she was told by hall administration that she had to pay $330 for the repair. “I felt really really awful [and] shocked,” she said. “I wouldn’t think that it would go over $300 for flicking a few buttons, and they waited for several weeks to tell me.” Salient has seen the invoices and emails relating to this charge.

She paid as soon as she could and tried to forget it, feeling horrible. “I shed a few tears, especially when I called my parents and told them because it was a large amount and they had to give me the money, but I don’t think it was my fault.”

The student is particularly concerned that, as an international student, she’s more vulnerable to incidents like this. “I’m an

international student, I don’t know if they’re overcharging me [...] I don’t know the regular amount of an electrician’s visit here.” She also doesn’t know who to ask for help.

Salient talked to a number of electricians around the Wellington area. A fairly standard fee is $70 an hour, plus transport expenses (about $35) and the cost of any materials needed to fix the problem. The highest quote, $146, was less than half what the student was charged for this electrical fault.

“Page 14 of the student accommodation handbook makes clear students’ personal liability for their own chattels and examples of where costs may be incurred,” said Rainsforth Dix, Director of Student and Campus Living.

However, there is no procedure set out for cases where the cause of the damage is unclear or disputed.

The halls disagree with the student’s narrative of events.

Though unwilling to explain why the electrician charged so much, Dix explained that “the electrician attended, noted that the laptop charger was smelling, and fixed the blown fuse”. He also said that the student was offered another room to stay in until the electrician arrived; according to the student, this offer did not come until 2pm the day after the outage, 30 minutes before the electrician arrived. According to Dix, the delay in the fee was because the electrician didn’t send the invoice, and not the fault of the hall.

VUWSA advocate, Erica Schouten, said, “if a student feels they’ve been treated unfairly by a hall they can escalate the matter to the Hall Manager. They can also come and see me – I can talk with them about their options, and if necessary help them make a complaint or come to meetings with them”.

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NEWS

MONDAY 1 OCTOBER 2018

2019 VUWSA Executive TOKOROA’S OWN

President

Academic Vice President

Welfare Vice President

> Tamatha Paul: 1701 < Beth Paterson: 1095 No Confidence: 155

> Geo Robrigado: 1393 < Dharma Bratley: 911 Hassan Tariq: 357 No Confidence: 266

> Rhianna Morar: 2134 < Antony Wallis Wilson: 527 No Confidence: 267

Engagement Vice President

Treasurer/Secretary

Campaigns Officer

> Josephine Dawson: 2624 < No Confidence: 295

> Delia Fu: 2704 < No Confidence: 230

> Finn Carroll: 2528< No Confidence: 359

Wellbeing & Sustainability Officer

Equity Officer

Clubs & Activities Officer

> Samantha Mythen: 1150 < Kellee Candy: 876 Kimberley McIntyre: 578 No Confidence: 314

> Komal Singh:1399< Tahua Pihema:1071 G Hanley-Steemers: 244 No Confidence: 213

> Millie Osborne: 1608 < Michael Turnbull: 1034 No Confidence: 267

In Conclusion

Education Officer > Rinaldo Strydom: 1475 < Katie Ollerenshaw: 596 Abigail Hussey: 238 No Confidence: 238

Another year, another election.

Predictably enough, Tam took away the presidency. We at the office were surprised that Sam Mythen got Wellbeing and Sustainability, after her dramatic rendition of “I have a dream” (isn’t that copyrighted btw?) But we look forward to some lively exec meetings.

This year’s voter turnout, 3247, is around 15% higher than last year. It’s about 15% of the student population.

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We’d also like to point out that this year’s exec is 70% female, 70% POC, and 30% Māori :) *Election Results will be finalised at the end of the disputes period

NEWS

MONDAY 1 OCTOBER 2018

All Good Things Take Time (and Begging) TAYLOR GALMICHE

Tam takes student information to prove the AGM reached quorum

Marlon recruits student to meet AGM quorum

Last Wednesday VUWSA beseeched students to talk cold, hard cash at its AGM in the Hub. Before the meeting, Salient asked VUWSA what would happen if they didn’t meet quorum.

There was a very long pause.

Marlon, sporting a plaid button-up over yellow stripes, spent the first half of the meeting begging passing-by students to join so the meeting could reach its 100-student quorum.

12:01: “Student issues...it’s very important.”

12:02: “Please come and sit down. I am begging you.”

12:02: *whispering* “$26,000 deficit.”

12:03: “If you’re interested, please.”

12:04: “63 people...”

12:05: “Message your friends and tell them to come along!”

12:08: “We have free pizza.”

12:09: Connor started approaching random people working on their laptops/having coffee/making coffees in the Hub.

It took a total of fifteen minutes to meet the mark, reportedly seven more minutes than it took in the 2016 AGM. “I hereby declare VUWSA AGM open. Yea boi,” Marlon announced as he continued to locate the agenda.

The meeting started off with Marlon going over this years “big wins”. Think fairer fares, the return of the 18 (to come), The Wait is Over campaign, the #metoo blog, and Sex in the Hub. The vote to adopt the half-year reports was postponed for next year’s IGM, as they weren’t available for students to read.

Other hot takes included the 4.5% SSL increase, and the $26,000 deficit of the 2019 budget.

The highlight of the meeting was, without a doubt, the MTV Cribs parody featuring Finn Carroll with a guest appearance by a very sad couch potato Marlon Drake.

Your Fees Are Going Up Again, Big Surprise LOUISE LIN Last Monday, the University Council voted to increase the fees by 2%, the maximum amount allowed.

The vote was passed 11-1. Student councillor Isabella Lenihan-Ikin voted against.

In an unusual move, student councillor Alexandria Mark voted for the fee increase. The last student councillor who voted for fee increases was in 2015, a move that resulted in “personal attacks” on social media. As she voted, Alexandria said “I look forward to my death threats”.

Alexandria said she voted on the fee increase because she believed in “being consistent”.

She said she doesn’t like the assumption that is “often inherent” in the council chamber that students will vote against fee increases “as a token thing”.

She said she agreed with the fee increase. “2% doesn’t keep match with inflation, it’s necessary to keep the university financially sustainable and viable.”

“We’re not voting on process, we’re voting on outcome,” she said.

Student union president Marlon Drake presented an oral

submission, urging the University to consult more with students about fee raises. “Students want to be part of the conversation”, he said. “Students are not dumb. We can do consultation meaningfully and have a bit of fun on the way”.

Grant Guilford, our Vice Chancellor, said that his method of engaging students about fee rises, his “Rant With Grant”, is generally poorly attended. He attributed that to students “having a sense of inevitability” about the process.

Priyanka Roy, of PGSA, said that the rising cost of education leads to “financial stress for postgraduate students with limited resource”. She also pointed out that scholarships do not increase when fees go up and that the consultation could have been opened earlier, in May, when discussions about fees start.

Ravethi Jeyakumar from the International Students Association pointed out that the fee hike for international students was much greater than that for domestic students.

One councillor said the government sets the amount of money the uni gets, and the consequence of not moving the fees is “job cuts and leaky buildings”.

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NEWS

MONDAY 1 OCTOBER 2018

Queer Coverage: Local, National, and International LGBTQIA+ News ERIN PAGE Stonewall Picture Book for Kids to be Released April 2019 Author Rob Sanders will be releasing a picture book, Stonewall: A Building. An Uprising. A Revolution., in April 2019 to commemorate 50 years since the Stonewall riots. The book will cover the events of 28 June 1969, when patrons of the Stonewall Inn fought back against a police raid (the raids were a very common occurrence in LGBTQIA+ establishments, with homosexuality being illegal in America at the time). [Sanders] said he first got the idea for the book in 2016, “when former President Barack Obama designated the inn and its environs in Manhattan’s West Village neighborhood as the country’s first national monument to LGBTQ rights”. In a rather different approach to how children’s books are written, Sanders has written the book from the viewpoint of the Stonewall Inn itself.

And although aimed primarily at children, he said he wanted “readers — children, teenagers, and others — to take away the understanding that each of us has to stand up for ourselves and our rights, and that our efforts are stronger when we combine our energy and passion.” He previously authored a picture book titled Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag, which aimed to break down the concepts of LGBTQIA+ rights for a younger audience.

nationwide social group for bisexual individuals, their partners, and allies) and Human Rights Campaign LA. Ian LawrenceTourinho, President of the amBi network, told Pink News “the organisers want[ed] to signal to the bi community that they are welcome… even during LA LGBT Pride (which takes place in West Hollywood) what you might expect to be a time of great acceptance and openness – bi people are frequently met with hostility and aggression at the celebrations”. The event coincided with Bisexual Visibility Day to help combat bi erasure. “That’s where the idea for the big Bi Pride event including a Bi Visibility Walk came from,” he added. “That bi people are here, that we matter, that being bi is great and something to be celebrated!”

NHS Sued for Failing to Offer Fertility Services to Transgender Patients The National Health Service (NHS) in England is being sued for failing to offer transgender patients the opportunity to store their eggs or sperm before beginning their medical transition. According to Pink News, “The Equality and Human Rights Commission will take legal action, arguing that not offering treatments equally to patients restricts their options for reproduction”. The NHS has stated that it is not their responsibility to make sure fertility services are available to patients. Trans patients may wish to have biological children later in life, and although an expensive process, surrogacy is an available option.

Los Angeles Held First City-Wide Bisexual Pride in the US On 22 September Los Angeles became the first city in the US to hold a Bisexual Pride event. The event was held the day before Bisexual Visibility Day. Bi Pride was organised by the City of West Hollywood, amBI LA (the Los Angeles chapter of a

Name Change Clapback

We asked Isabella why she chose to vote for the name change when so many students were opposed to the change.

She said, “yes, of course I listened to what students said. But I also had to listen to the professional advice that was provided to me and the other members of council.”

Isabella said that she trusted the research and advice behind the name change and felt in that it was important to enhance overseas reputation. She acknowledged there are other issues that need to be addressed by the council, such as lack of student mental health care, lack of affordable housing, and lack of equity.

“I have struggled see this issue of name change in isolation from these other issues, because I think they are valid and many of them I think are true. But, the decision we have in front of us is about changing the name – and I agree with that.”

The consultation process behind the name change, on the other hand, has been roundly critiqued. Isabella said it undeniably “could have been better”.

Marlon said that he was disappointed in the consultation.

“What could have been a very exciting, creative and engaging process for students instead turned into a pretty ugly conversation,” he said.

However, Grant Guilford has defended the consultation at the council meeting, saying that there was little interest in the forums he offered.

Council members Traci Houpapa and Farib Sos voted against the change. Guilford abstained from the council vote because “they [the council] would not accept that I would have an open mind on the decision”.

Education Minister Chris Hipkins must sign off the change before it’s final.

SALIENT STAFF Following the announcement of the name change, student councillors Alexandria Mark and Isabella Lenihan-Ikin have faced significant online backlash.

Alexandria and Isabella both voted in favour of the name change.

“We have been called shills, puppets, out of touch elites, been accused of selling our votes, and had cruel and degrading memes made about us,” said Alexandria.

In a Facebook post, VUWSA president Marlon Drake condemned “the targeted personal bullying of a 22 year old student leader [Isabella Lenihian-Ikin] in our community”. He said that such behaviour was especially irresponsible “given the climate of mental health in our community many criticizers of the name change have been highlighting”.

Alexandria said she believes “there is a huge amount of misunderstanding and misrepresentation going on” regarding the role of students on the uni council.

“We are not there to vote the way the majority of the student population thinks, or only consider student views when making decisions,” she said.

“We are required to consider all the evidence with the appropriate weighting, and make independent, responsible decisions to the best of our ability. This is what we did.”

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NEWS

MONDAY 1 OCTOBER 2018

First Young Feminist Hui Hits Te Papa JOANNA LI

Organizers of Feminist Hui. Photos supplied by Te Papa

Attendies write ideas for the next Feminist Hui. Photos supplied by Te Papa

Two weeks ago, the first Young Feminist Hui was held at Te Papa, spearheaded by six young women who are leaders of various feminist groups at their respective high schools: Olivia Trass, Ilena Shadbolt, Ruby Hooper, Khrystyna Samsonova, Freja Cook, and Henrietta Fisher. The event attracted over 100 people of many ages and genders.

Hooper said the event stemmed from the girls’ weekly sessions where they would “just get together and talk shit about what annoyed us”. The hui aimed to bring together groups that might be discussing similar ideas in isolation from one another.

It also sought to expose people to new ideas. Shadbolt said that they wanted the discussions to be led naturally. “We wanted to bridge the gap between feminism [and] everyday life, [it’s not] a separate movement only to be considered in certain places”. It was a rare opportunity for feminism to be discussed between generations. The ages represented at the hui ranged from early teens to late 60s.

The day was split into four panels: women and media, feminism and masculinity, porn, and the creation of feminist spaces in everyday life. Speakers throughout the day included VUW’s Dr Anita Brady, Brittany and Johanna Cosgrove (founders of Nope Sisters clothing line), Hugo Grrrl’s George

Fowler, and Radio NZ’s Melody Thomas (who also produces the podcast BANG!, which explores sex, sexuality, and relationships in modern-day Aotearoa). All of the panels were designed to provide some analysis on the way we currently approach such issues, as well as steps for change and moving forward.

Samsonova said that she’s aware it’s a completely different environment in university, and she’s eager to see how she can continue the discussion once she graduates. They want to see the event evolve and change when moving forward, particularly in ensuring the diversity of their keynote speakers: “There were so many ideas that we ran out of time for. Feminism and disability, indigenous feminism, how to survive the internet when no one gives you online literacy until you’re knee deep.”

The group acknowledged that these weren’t easy topics to be broached in every space. They hope future events will continue to offer less intimidating spaces for people to give their side of the story in the future. Olivia joked, “it’s not like I can just bring up porn at the dinner table!”

Te Papa mentioned that they were keen to nationalise the event, starting with doing outreach to regions close to Wellington.

Brad's Bread Beats Budget KATIE MEADOWS As of Wednesday September 26th, VUWSA have officially voted to increase the university’s student media budget by $18,000 for 2019. The budget increase, which covers Salient, Salient TV and Salient FM, may allow for the reinstatement of such radical concepts as “Free Pizza Fridays” and “Getting Paid for Work”.

Luckily, this means Vic can retain its most important asset: the Brad Pitt naan. The naan — acquired by former Salient staffers in 2010 in an absolute steal of a TradeMe auction for $8.50 — is currently the little-known 68th Wonder of the World, after moving up a spot following the death of Phoebe the tuatara (RIP). Due to original budget cuts, Salient staff feared they would have to sell the divine dough to make ends meet — though they were mysteriously unable to find any takers for the yeasty vestige throughout the year. Now, with the naan secured, a sigh of relief fills the office; a sigh that

echoes around our walls, as we have been informed keeping the doors propped open with stacks of magazines is a “safety hazard”. The naan has been a constant source of inspiration to the beleaguered staff of Salient 2018, reminding them that they too are here forever, and to use more garlic in their struggle meals.

Staff remain overworked and underpaid but are delighted to retain the naan, which still remains mould-free, though has slipped and shrunk in its frame not unlike the Te Papa colossal squid. If the budget allows, there are hopes for restoration of the masticated memento.

When asked for comment, current Salient editor Louise Lin was quoted as saying: “At this point I’m so fucking grateful to be given any cash at all that I am hungrily scooping up any crumbs that come my way. I have been thoroughly brainwashed; all hail Lord VUWSA.” 10

Politics MONDAY 1 OCTOBER 2018

Post Cab Round Up

The Party Line

Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters took the reins of Cabinet last week while Jacinda Ardern attended the UN General Assembly in New York. This week, the Kingmaker certainly didn’t disappoint.

Is the plastic bag ban simply a tokenistic gesture? Why or why not?

Cabinet Minutes Condensed Winston Peters started off the press conference by confirming that the “Waka-Jumping” Bill, is expected to pass through the House of Representatives in all its readings. This bill would supposedly allow people to have more confidence in the electoral system. The same is expected of the Remuneration Authority (Members of Parliament Remuneration) Amendment Bill, which would freeze MP’s pay for a year. The government recognised that most New Zealanders’ pay growths have been out of proportion with MPs since changes were made by the Remuneration Authority in 2015.

The bill was introduced to allow for the government to focus on lifting the wages for ordinary Kiwis.

Media Questions They really don’t exaggerate it in the media, Winnie likes to keep his dealings with the media short and sweet. I didn’t have time to slip my question about the Treaty settlement process into the mix, but other reporters asked questions about the meth houses and Iranian terrorist attacks.

Peters addressed multiple questions about needle-ridden strawberries being stocked on Countdown shelves in Auckland. He stated that media coverage could encourage further fruittampering.

“In terms of exporting into this country, we will be screening every strawberry punnet.” Screenings will be conducted through a proposed metal detector that authorities will use to pick up any metal that is found within the punnets.

Multiple questions were thrown about the Victoria University name change, with Winston Peters refusing to comment because he did not want to “compromise” Education Minister Chris Hipkins.

- Thomas Campbell

VICNATS “The plastic bag ban is a tokenistic policy that ultimately does more harm than good. The use of plastic bags is proven to contribute less CO2 emissions over time than the production of reusable bags. Meaning that the Government has ignored their own mandate of reducing carbon emissions. While the Young Nats accept that the banning of these bag will reduce marine pollution, in the words of Minister Sage they represent only a “small subset of all sources of marine plastics”. There are plenty of policy options proposed by MfE that would have worked to reduce marine pollution while keeping New Zealand’s emissions low. The Young Nats hope that in the future the Government will properly consider all of the possible policy options before making ideological decisions that ultimately do more harm than good to New Zealanders. However between this and the oil and gas ban we’re not confident this will ever happen.”

- Grahame Woods ACT ON CAMPUS “Yes it is a tokenistic gesture. While it’s a nice idea in theory it may be doing more harm than good. Banning the bags can lead to worse economic outcomes such as jobs lost and Kiwis having to buy more expensive bags. That aside, while the principal of the bag ban is good, it has the potential for further negative environmental impacts as producing thicker plastic bags and reusable bags are more environmentally damaging to make and dispose of than single use bags. Plastic bags only damage the environment because of the incorrect way people use/dispose of them and only make up 0.01% of landfill waste.

We should be looking at innovative solutions to help the environment and economy, such as bio-degradable bags and the proper recycling methods in place rather than just stepping in with a ban for virtue-signalling purposes. The government needs to start taking some real action and look for smarter ways to deal with the plastic problem rather than tokenistic gestures.”

- James Allan 11

GREENS AT VIC "It is not tokenistic at all. While plastic waste is a much bigger problem than just plastic bags, we have to start reducing our reliance on plastics somewhere.

Aotearoa collectively uses over a billion plastic bags every year. When plastic bags enter our oceans and break down, fish eat them and the plastic enters our food chain. I’d enjoy my tuna sushi a lot more if I knew there wasn’t any plastic in it! All it requires is a simple change of our habits. I just grab my school bag before I do my shopping, and I have reusable bags right by the door so I can grab them if I’m doing a bigger trip. A minor change to our routines like this really does have a great impact on the environment. If we got rid of plastic bags all together, it would have the same impact on emissions as removing 3000 cars from our roads. This is only just the beginning."

- Mark Metcalfe VICLABOUR “Depends on who you ask! If you’re the National Party, maybe you’d think it is virtue signalling commie bullshit. But if you’re a sea turtle, you probably would want to do whatever you could to avoid swallowing and choking on a plastic bag thinking that it’s a jellyfish! The phasingout of plastic bags is only part of the government’s wider agenda with respect to climate change and conservation. No one is saying plastic bag pollution is the only waste management issue we are facing – but you have to start somewhere.

In recent years there has been growing public pressure via letters and petitions urging consecutive governments to phase-out plastic bags. As a result of this activism, the plastic bag phase-out is the first step the government has made towards changing NZ’s attitude towards and consumption of harmful plastics."

News

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WE BARELY EVEN MADE THIS UP

“Know Your Mind” Shown the Door LIAM POWELL In between changing the name and logo of his beloved pet project University, the Vice-Chancellor is poised to axe another VUW institution: the ostentatious slogan “Know Your Mind”.

In a forum announced five minutes before it began last Tuesday, Vice-Chancellor Grant Guildford announced the plan, which would go ahead “whether or not you bloody well like it” after a planned one-hour consultation period, which he gracefully extended to one hour fifteen minutes after multiple complaints.

The Vice-Chancellor gave several reasons for the change.

First, he acknowledged that the slogan bore “a striking similarity” in nomenclature to the popular website knowyourmeme.com, which has led to a sharp decrease in productivity from those who land on the website by mistake after trying to Google what the hell the slogan actually stands for.

Second, he cited the overload of student health and counselling services, stating that the challenge to “Know Your Mind” has led students to seek professional psychological

help, straining University resources.

Though there was little to no evidence for this position, the Vice-Chancellor said he “had a good think about it, and getting rid of the slogan was certainly the most logical way to go about improving the mental wellbeing of our students”.

“That and evicting mentally ill students — whoops, I mean removing them for health and safety reasons,” he said with a wink.

A third and final reason was the simple reason that “it makes no sense. No-one actually knows what the slogan means.

And if there’s one thing I want to be remembered for as ViceChancellor, it’s my commitment to well-informed decisions about branding.”

The decision has been met with a relative lack of opposition, as few seem sorry to see the banal slogan go.

A member of the anti-change #StickWithVic brigade told Salient that “We may have struggled to summon enough outrage against this decision, but overall we’ve devoted plenty of political energy to stemming the decline of worn-out university branding. As for actual issues that students and staff are facing? They can sort that out for themselves, I guess”.

Alternatives for the slogan are currently being considered.

Notable examples include “Blow Your Mind”, “Close Your Blinds”, “Show Your Grind”, and “Know Your Mind of Wellington”.

International Enrolment VUW Students Perfect Skyrockets Their Work-Life-Study LAURA SUTHERLAND Balance International student enrolments are at an all-time high, following the University’s decision to drop “Victoria” from its name. In just under a week, the number of international enrolments for next year has risen 341%, as students from Victoria Universities of Melbourne, Canada, Hong Kong, Bangladesh, and Uganda realised their mistake.

“I mean I just googled Victoria University and Melbourne was the first one that came up,” one prospective student told Salient. “I should have known something was up when I got there and I couldn’t find the tuatara, but I didn’t question it. I’m so glad the council cleared this up!”

Some are beginning to wonder if the name change was too effective — if student numbers continue to rise, will university infrastructure be able to cope? Extensions to new science block Te Toki a Rata are already in the works, while the former School of Art History, Classics and Religious Studies is being considered for new laboratory space. Work will begin as soon as contractors have finished repairing the library lifts, meaning large lectures will be held in Kelburn Park for the foreseeable future.

At least one confused VUW student has accidentally enrolled at Victoria University of Uganda.

SHANTI MATHIAS

For students, it’s important to have a healthy work-life-study balance. This can be challenging, but students of VUW rise to the occasion. Salient talked to several students about how they balance their various responsibilities.

“It’s really important to me to make sure that my job doesn’t take away from my study,” said Emerald McMatthews. As a gymnastics coach, she often balances on a beam to teach young gymnasts, but “they don’t mind if I dictate an essay into my phone at the same time”.

McMatthews finds that this balance works for her. “I’m a highly trained gymnast, and I only fall off sometimes,” she said.

As a bartender, Juniper Green spends their evenings balancing trays of cocktails. “But I can balance equations at the same time by doing my statistics coursework simultaneously,” they said, explaining how they print out their questions and hold it in their other hand while serving. “I have served a few people 2.2% margin of errors or two-sided tests instead of margaritas,” they said. “But I’m balancing it regardless.”

Elliot Tagovailoa works as a ship boy on the fair ship Cutlass, the main vessel of Wellington Pirates. He prioritises relationships with friends even when he’s busy. “The best time for keeping up with my streaks is when I’m leading hostages down the plank to their deaths. I balance on the plank and type at the same time.” He’s only toppled in a few times, “and then I always get a bonus”.

VUW students continue to demonstrate that it is possible to balance work, life, and study.

Updates on Kylie Jenner's Baby This week, we want to apologize for not using our platform to talk about you, our very own beloved baby, that we took for granted. Victoria's own tuatara, Phoebe, has passed on and is crawling through the observatory in heaven. In other news, Kylie Jenner still has a baby.

12

Week in Tweets “Check out my reboot of 27 Dresses. I try on 27 dresses while Owen Wilson says “wow” using either approving or disapproving tones” - @Megatronic13

“gosh i sure can't wait until vuwsa becomes uwu-sa (UOWSA) and we have to sound like a bunch of weebs all the time” - @ em_ma_maguire

"computer: save this image as 6606499f1e5c84d7c30.png? me: yea" - @harriweinreb

“victoria university council approved the name change and one of the tuatara died. 100% an omen.” - @sarahmaydillon

On Bird of the Year - “I’m seeing a lot of Gannet propaganda, but I’m torn between Spoonbill and Kererū for #BirdOfTheYear.

One is part spoon and the other is just a ham with wings. How am I supposed to choose?” - @MicheleAnn_

“Vic is changing its name because it's a giant embarrassment, and Otago is invading student flats unlawfully because it's a giant embarrassment, and I'd like them both to reflect on the fact that currently the Uni I Have Been To That Is The Least Giant Embarrassment is Waikato” - @Izzyelle

“Just so you know I love all New Zealand birds the same so will not be choosing between them for #BirdOfTheYear. Please don't even try to bribe me with say, for example, an elaborate cake.” - @sarahwedde On Duncan Garner calling the Prime Minister a “squeezy toy” - “if the prime minister is a squeezy toy duncan garner is a whoopie cushion.” - @MorganGodfery On the (continued) Vic name change bullshit - “I don't care about Vuck because my degree is from the EYEYEMELL” - @ fancylettuce

On the Otago Proctor bong nonsense - “The adventures of Proctor Who, a time traveller who pops up in crucial moments in intergalactic history to steal bongs.” - @Not_shax On Bi Visibility Day - “Happy International Bi Visibility Day! Please be patient as roads will be 2-3% busier, queues will be longer, and there will be an estimated 6.5 million extra Americans today.” - @fauxparse On the Wellington bus drivers strike "Wellington bus drivers have voted to strike indefinitely. Drivers will walk off the job on October 23, and stay on the picket line until the Tramways Union and bus operators can settle a collective agreement."

- @GeorgeKCampbell

Quiz

World Facts

1. The proctor from the University of Otago has faced public scrutiny after removing what from a student flat?

1. Martin Couney displayed premature babies in incubators as a boardwalk sideshow act in the early 1900s, which advanced incubator technology.

2. Tigers in Nepal have learned to use trails at certain times of day to avoid encounters with humans.

3. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has fired which MP as a minister over alleged bullying against another staff member?

3. A man made a sandwich entirely from scratch with his own ingredients.

It took 6 months and cost $1500 to make.

4. How many years had Phoebe the tuatara been at Victoria University before her recent passing?

4. The smiley emoticon :-) was invented in by a university professor in 1982.

5. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has made international news after being accompanied by baby Neve to which Peace Summit?

World Facts by Courtney Powell, Week in Tweets by Emma Maguire & Quiz by Alister Hughes

10. People climbing Mount Everest burn an average of 10,000 calories a day.

5. The earliest recording of the word fuck was taken in 1885.

6. Canada’s rivers discharge 9% of the world's renewable water supply.

7. Fred De Luca opened the first Subway restaurant to pay his medical school bills.

Quiz Answers 1. Three bongs 2. Oranga Tamariki Ministry for Children 3. Meka Whaitiri 4. 28 years 5. Nelson Mandela Peace Summit

2. Social workers from which Ministry will receive $114.6 million over the next five years, as part of a pay equity settlement?

8. Steven Spielberg was originally attached to direct the first Harry Potter film.

9. In 1959 there were only 21 unemployed people in New Zealand.

Letters Simon Bridges conducted a musical ensemble I was in. He was very bad at timing. What musical skills to be honest?

From Editor: Ooosh Hey just saw your story about the resident being kicked out after a suicide attempt. That kind of thing is unnervingly common, I wouldn’t want to be named or anything but in the past when I was an RA I had a resident with a substance abuse problem and the very first thing my hall did when they found out was to start washing their hands of him. I know we’re not a rehab or anything but having that as one of the first reactions felt really shit especially since halls talk about providing “pastoral” care and shit. It often seems like it’s all about the reputation. - anon Re your recent post about Cumberland kicking a student out after a suicide attempt: in 2012, Te Puni Village did the same with a friend’s friend too. The reasoning was that someone suicidal made the hall unsafe for other students. Meanwhile, a hell of a lot of other students were also suicidal and learnt quickly not to ask for help within the hall at risk of losing what should have been safe & supportive accomodation that made university & leaving home that little big easier.

Te Puni Resident 2012

Notices WASTE FORUM: New Zealand’s Response to China’s Trash Ban 5.30pm, Thurs 4th Oct, MCLT103 Waste management systems around the world are under immense pressure to cope with Western consumer culture, oceans are choking with plastics, and recycling systems are fundamentally flawed. What can we do?

Come along to this Victoria Development Society event to hear from a range of great panelists, including Eugenie Sage MP, Associate Minister for the Environment, Councillor Iona Pannett, Wellington City Council, Keith Smith, CEO of Flight Plastics, and Lyn Mayes, The Packaging Forum, at this informative event chaired by Waste-Ed. Plastic Diet Annual General Meeting Plastic Diet, the zero waste group on campus, are having our AGM Wednesday this week, 5-7pm in Kirk 203. Plastic Diet is committed to making Vic a zero waste university and runs a weekly stall called Waste Watchers where we lend out reusable dishes. If you have ideas about reducing waste at Victoria or want to get involved, please come along.

There will be free pizza!

Contact us for more information: Email: vicplasticdiet@gmail.com Facebook: fb.me/plasticdietvic

Send your letters to editor@salient.org.nz Dear Editor I am not one to complain or make a fuss - no way - but unfortunatley I found myself in a rather uncomfortable situation or predicament you could say. The ladies toilets at the Law School specifically the cubicles are very tiny and most difficult to access for anyone who is of a larger body size or weight and big proportions compared to thin punters and actually using the bathroom is very difficult to say the least. Getting into the cubicle is difficult, doing the business even more difficult and exiting the cubicle especally trying to move ones curves and excess body weight while wrestling with a backbag full of books and other stuff to get out the door is a mission in itself.

When new public buildings are being designed and maybe they do this already they are gonna need to accommodate big bodies as we are getting fatter and bigger by the year.

Anyway not to worry. Part of life and hey just gotta hang in there and carry on! I did have another grizzle about people who pass wind on public transport but that can wait until another time!!!!!!

Signed Toilet Troubles

Send your notices to editor@salient.org.nz Buklod-VUW Annual General Meeting What: Buklod-VUW Annual General Meeting Where: RH105, Rutherford House, Pipitea Campus When: 03 Oct (Weds) 6pm Description: Our AGM is an important gathering for all the members where we'll be going over the following: - Committee reports - Constitutional amendments - Lifetime membership - Elections All of these things require our members' input and say, so your attendance is very important to us!

It's not all business as we will also be doing more Kahoot and eating pizza together, so see you there!

Correction In Vol. 21 in the article “VUWSA Elections: Who’s Who?” we incorrectly printed that G Hanley-Steemers was a “he”. They are a they. Sorry G!

Join the Discussion Te Herenga Waka University of Wellington The Victoria University of Wellington Council has resolved to recommend that the Minister of Education approve University of Wellington as the University’s name and adopt a new Māori name of Te Herenga Waka.

The change to Te Herenga Waka University of Wellington is a key step towards achieving our University community’s shared vision to become a world-leading capital city university.

JOIN THE DISCUSSION AT STUDENT FORUMS THIS WEEK! Student Forums will take place this week with Vice-Chancellor, Grant Guilford. These forums are an opportunity to hear about the Council’s decision and share your views.

MONDAY 1 OCTOBER Kelburn Campus 12.30–1.30 pm, The Hub

FRIDAY 5 OCTOBER

Pipitea Campus 11.30 am–12.30 pm, RHLT1

Hunting for Katango Katango was one of thousands of bands in the 1980s.

Their members were effeminate young men who wore make up. Their fashion was loud and garish. Their songs were vomit-inducing saccharine pop, shooting for a one-hit-wonder. But there is one thing that singles Katango out from this crowd of brazen auditory vomit:

Unfortunately nothing to do the NZ pop band.

Scrolling further I turned up an article on Audioculture, a website for jaded old musicians to relive their glory days by writing lengthy esoteric articles about bygone eras. The article contained several key pieces of information that both intrigued and incensed me. One was a magazine advertisement for “Club Katango”.

The ad promised; posters, autographed photos, badges, and t-shirts to anyone with five dollars and a rudimentary understanding of the New Zealand postal system. Near this image was a quote from Katango’s lead singer Phil Eversden candidly mentioning that “doing a school show was a quick way to make some cash”.

They ripped off my mum.

It was a lunchtime concert at Westlake Girls High School. Word was buzzing around the morning tea tuckshop line that some dreamy boys were going to play a show. Mum hadn’t heard of Katango, but her friends were keen, so she went along. Mum said that at the show “girls were whipped up into a frenzy”. They were screaming, pulling at their hair, and throwing their training bras onto the stage. People were fighting tooth and nail to get a glimpse of the band.

I bet it was, you slimy fucking rat.

This new information changed the game. This was no accidental forgetting to send a fan package. This was an organised con job.

The feeling of frenzy is important, because after they finished playing, Mum saw flyers encouraging the fresh-faced fans to join “Club Katango,” a fan club which promised signed posters, photographs, and new singles, all for the low price of $5NZD. My mum was one of many innocent young girls who joined.

She never received a damn thing.

I started trying to locate the members of the band. All I had to work with was their names. Luckily this cyber-centric information whirlpool we live in is a stalker’s paradise. I started with the drummer Nick Ferneyhough, as he had the weirdest name. Google turned up an article from 2006 NZ Herald’s lifestyle section, in which Nick waxes lyrical about the simple pleasures of having both a house in Remuera and a Chateau in France. Such luxury, possibly aided by savvy investment of my mother’s five dollars. I punched his name into Facebook, sourced his email, and sent him a message. Not wanting to let on that a 30-year cold case was coming back to bite him, I couched my questions in an unassuming discussion of the music scene of the 1980s.

I had a vendetta.

A vendetta against the bastards who robbed my 13-year-old mother of five dollars.

When I first heard this story, I leapt out of my seat in anger.

“What do you mean you didn’t receive anything!?”

Mum replied, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe it got lost in the mail.”

Lost in the mail? God bless my sweet mother’s soul.

She still can’t bear to face the ugliness of a 30-yearold truth: she got ripped off by some 80s pop freaks.

After I heard the story, I decided to do a little digging on Katango. I poured every ounce of my research skills into chasing this thing. To say I had a personal investment was an understatement. I had a vendetta. A vendetta against the bastards who robbed my 13-yearold mother of five dollars. I decided that I wouldn’t rest without getting her money back. Adjusting for inflation, I was going after $12.35NZD.

When I mentioned the fan club, he said, “I’d forgotten about that. I think one of the fans actually set it up”.

This would not be the last I would hear of this mysterious fan. Nick went on, “We really didn’t interact with the fans much at all as far as I remember… I think there were just a few cheesy signed photos given away to club members”.

Like any researcher worth their salt, I started with Google. Google turned up an app called Katango which uses social algorithms to sort your friends list into people that share in your ideology. Google bought the technology in 2011 and utilised it along with leaked White House information sourced through Russian spies to secure Trump the US presidency.

I find it hard to believe that if Katango gave away anything, they would do so for free.

After locating one member, it was relatively easy to find the rest. Facebook has the delightfully creepy 17

Hunting for Katango feature of being able to search within other people’s friends lists. It was through this method that I found Katango’s bass player, Carl Robinson. Carl is currently a fine wine importer living in Japan. Even with the time difference, he kindly scheduled a Skype call so that I could ask him a few questions.

Then I remembered my original source: The Audioculture article on Katango. That single article had more information on the band than anywhere else on the internet. I began to scrutinise every line.

The article mentioned band managers, venue owners, and local scenesters all by name, but for fan club presidents I was coming up dry. I thought that perhaps the writer of the article, Jon Chapman, possessed the information but didn’t realise the weight of it. I would have to talk to him directly and find out what he knew.

I started off easy, knowing that with a click of a button he could leave both the call, and me in the dark, forevermore. Carl seemed to know a lot more about the fan club than Nick. He stated that the club grew quickly, a couple thousand members joining in the first few months. 2000 x $5 = $10,000 — adjusting for inflation that is $31,812.81. If Carl was the mastermind behind the scheme, then converting it into yen would make the amount ¥2,339,449.92 — enough for a house in central Auckland.

Finding him was not so easy. Like myself, Jon Chapman has been cursed by mediocre AngloSaxon nomenclature that makes him very hard to find. Linkedin turned up zilch. Facebook had far too many options to go sending out Katango-themed interrogations at random. When I returned to Audioculture, I realised that I had somehow missed the writers section. On it I found Jon Chapman, there was a bio but no links. However, the bio mentioned that he was currently playing in a Dunedin psychedelic rock band called Eye. I found the band on Facebook, chucked them a message, and within a week I was speaking to New Zealand’s foremost authority on 80s teen pop.

As I began to ask direct questions about the fan club, I found the plot thickened more than I could have ever dreamed. Carl told me that Katango the band didn’t actually have anything to do with the fan club, and they certainly didn’t see any money from it. Carl didn’t even know that there was a fee to join.

This was no accidental forgetting to send a fan package. This was an organised con job.

Upon learning this information, all my attention focused on this mysterious fan club president.

Carl had mentioned her name was Kirsten. He couldn’t recall a last name. I doubt one was ever given. Apparently, this enterprising teeny bopper had contacted the band and asked if she could make a fan club for them. Carl said that she “wrote, published, and sent it out. She was in high school, sixteen at the time I suppose”.

I could feel the story going cold as I typed the words.

Begging Jon Chapman to put me in contact with the people who ran the Katango fan club.

His response; “I’m happy to send your email address to Carl (main band member and also fan club runner) ... He’s a really nice guy.”

I suddenly realised that all my anger towards Katango had been misdirected. They themselves had been duped, by a conniving young lady with a penchant for financial misdemeanour. I made it my objective to find this Kirsten and confront her with her crime.

I was confused to say the least. I had already spoken to Carl and he had denied all knowledge of the fan club, putting the blame on this mysterious Kirsten.

To this, Jon said, “Ah, Paul Eversden told me that Carl ran it with his girlfriend of the time, so that must be Kirsten I suppose”.

I finished the Skype call with the request that Carl send a bunch of Katango fan paraphernalia to my mother. Carl promised that after 35 years, my mum would finally get her fan package.

My jaw dropped. Had Carl lied to me? He certainly knew more about the fan club than anyone else. He certainly had access to the fan club paraphernalia.

Did he know I was onto him? Was he trying to cover his tracks? Had I spoken directly to the man who thieved from my mother, and not known it?

Securing the goods, I next sought vengeance.

After googling the name Kirsten turned up over 100 million results, I decided a more direct approach would be needed. I went back to the basics. Scouring Katango’s Youtube videos for comments. Failing this I searched the name both on Carl and Nick’s Facebook accounts. No dice.

I pulled myself together for one last question to Jon. I knew that talking to New Zealand’s foremost Katango expert was a one-time opportunity, and I had questions that needed answers. I laid it all on the line, telling 18

Hunting for Katango Jon about my mother’s five dollars, the adjustments in inflation, the conversation with Nick, my confrontation with Carl, the thousands of people in the fan club all paying 5 dollars, the yen conversion, the mysterious Kirsten who has never been seen or mentioned in the online records...

I laid all my research out for Jon in one lengthy, paranoid, and extremely convoluted theory, begging him to attempt to bring the light of sense upon this madness.

His response: “Ha! Maybe that’s how they paid for their insanely expensive gear!!”

Maybe it is.

I have tried on numerous occasions to get in contact with Carl for a final round of questioning, but he has been dodging my Facebook messages, emails, and Skype calls. In my opinion he is probably hurriedly

checking New Zealand’s statute of limitations and extradition agreements with Japan.

I called my mum.

I was dejected that I hadn’t been able to get her what she was owed; A Katango fan pack, and Justice. Both of these things will remain out of reach as long as Carl Robinson stays hidden. My mum lost five dollars. She will never get that (inflation adjusted) $12.35NZD back. But what I hope this story has given her is a sense of closure. No longer will she spend sleepless nights tossing and turning, wondering if her package is at the bottom of a slosh pile of 1980s mail that never got delivered.

She will at least know the truth.

That her five dollars was thieved by some of the most heartless and conniving bastards to lay their hands upon a synthesiser.

Digital Militarization: The Rise of the Manosphere

The internet has given us communities like we’ve never seen before. But what are the consequences?

Katie Meadows investigates.

I’ve had plenty of my own brushes with online toxicity.

Growing up, I wasn’t allowed internet access in my home until I hit high school. My mother hoped keeping me offline would prevent me from becoming dependent on the World Wide Web; this backfired and it wasn’t long before she’d be charging down the hallway to the lounge at 4am, threatening to unplug the modem if I didn’t get off the computer immediately.

I began my first online diary at age 13 on Livejournal.

As of 2018 Livejournal is owned by Russia and kept afloat by large groups following K-pop and celebrity gossip. But in my prime years (2005-2009), it was also known for pro-anorexia networks that I fell right into during the throes of my eating disorder. In amongst the hundreds of posts a day of calorie counts, binge regrets, and “inspirational” quotes, I found another poster from New Zealand who lived in Hamilton. She came and stayed with me in Christchurch when I was 15. We ate twice the whole week (sorry mom).

CW: the shit parts of the internet. Discussions of suicide, eating disorder, incels, and Donald Trump.

When did you first get the internet? When was the first time you realized you could be whoever you wanted online? What was the first forum where you really felt like you were among like-minded people?

Neopets? Bebo? Geocities? Or did you get a little darker? Vampire Freaks? Best Gore? The depths of Fanfiction.net? Being online in the early 2000s was a doozy, but it’s a fully-fledged second world in 2018.

Quietly, all this time, corners of the internet were and are being radicalized by the least radical of all: a division of young white men who believe their rights face extinction in a liberal society gone wild. They are known as MRAs (Men’s Rights Activists) and the AltRight — and they’re not so quiet anymore, with huge thriving communities on massive platforms like Reddit (aka “the front page of the internet”), and 4chan.

After highschool I moved my online diary keeping to Tumblr. My blog became an extension of myself, as it began to deliver more validation than my real life. It was a place to unload my most intrusive thoughts, and I quickly attracted a number of anonymous voyeurs drawn in by my vulnerability, who felt entitled to tell me things like, “I masturbate over your pictures every day,” and “Everyone is waiting for you to kill yourself”.

Once, someone told me they talked about me so much that their mother consulted a psychic friend about me.

But I had never felt more appreciated, more important, or simply more cool, than when I was posting 20 times a day on my stupid blog. I was in a bubble of people who thought like me and uplifted me for it — when they weren’t trying to crawl into my brain and lay worms

Unbeknownst to much of the general (older) population, these sites operate as meeting grounds to mobilize a generation of angry young men, where they plant seeds for infiltrating the wider culture with discord and bigotry. Basically, it’s like if Revenge of the Nerds was real, and they also had guns. It’s terrifying, and it’s spreading rapidly, like a fungus with a neckbeard and a My Little Pony dakimakura.

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Digital Militarization: The Rise of the Manosphere inside. At the time I really couldn’t see any fault in this fun hobby that was literally destroying my self-esteem day by day, and misinforming the fuck out of me.

rescue men who have fallen victim to the women’s rights movement by way of lost job opportunities or sexual harassment allegations, or worse: become emasculated incels. Along with being a “safe space” for men to share tips and personal experiences in their desire to mentally and physically subordinate women, the subreddit also serves as a front page for the Men’s Rights movement online, with a plethora of links to related podcasts and other media for the Alpha male consumer.

These experiences all ended with pretty big wake up calls for me about my privacy, my internet usage, the sources of my information, and how easy it is to get caught up in something that makes you feel important when you didn’t before. But being Extremely Online doesn’t always end with optimistic personal growth.

Elliot Rodger, who took 6 lives in a stabbing and shooting spree killing in California in 2014, has become A browse of the subreddit’s top all-time posts includes: an “incel hero” (incel meaning “involuntary celibate”) “The most important part of the game is not being after his misogynistic YouTube rants were found after emotionally invested”, “Three ways to consciously the incident. Alek Minassian, who drove down a busy manipulate women before they subconsciously Toronto street in his van earlier this year and killed manipulate you”, and “Now I am become Chad, 10 people, prefaced his attack with a Facebook post destroyer of pussy”. The latter is a lament on how announcing his intent to begin “an incel rebellion”. the author has apparently implemented The Red Pill’s MRA and Alt-Right communities are not dissimilar in system for becoming attractive to such success that operation to cults. They prey on vulnerabilities, and he now feels depressed instead of triumphant that he claim to provide not only a solution to life’s problems can see all women as “lying fucktoys”, a post that but control over those who cause them. Paradoxically, inexplicably opens with a Sylvia Plath quote and its members pride themselves on being too smart to clocks in at over 4,000 words. You would think that be manipulated. As soon when you end up creating as these ideals began an acronym for when When respecting those to leak into the public women do not wish to different to you is presented as consent to sexual relations consciousness through a weakness and the source of Donald Trump’s campaign with you — LMR, “Last and current presidency, Minute Resistance” — it’s all one’s loneliness, it pushes these communities became time to seek help for your these men further away from training grounds for the own behavior, but The Red being able to fix their behavior Pill doubles down on this real-time weaponization of pure hatred and being the unfortunate — before it is too late resentment. and in their eyes, hopefully reversible — result of a At the forefront of these communities is Reddit’s /r/ world turned upside-down by the advancement of TheRedPill, a reference to 1999 film The Matrix, women’s rights. When respecting those different to where main character Neo is offered the choice of you is presented as a weakness and the source of all two pills; the blue pill, which will keep him within the one’s loneliness, it pushes these men further away blissful ignorance of the simulation that is the Matrix, from being able to fix their behavior before it is too or the red pill, which will wake him up and force him late, prevents them from finding real meaningful to exist in the harshness of the real world. In The Red connections in life, and enables the cycle of violence Pill speak, the blue pill represents succumbing to the against women and gender minorities out of spite. mainstream “delusion” that men, women, and gender minorities are equal (or that the latter even exist), and Along with The Red Pill, /r/TheDonald fall within the the red pill represents waking up to the true nature of movement known as the Alt-Right, a relatively loosely women: abominable monsters set on the destruction defined group with extremely far-right aligned politics, of men. As an operation, it targets alienated young as held by white nationalists and Holocaust deniers. men who feel disconnected from the expectations of The Alt-Right is associated with figureheads such as mainstream cis-heteronormative society. It emotionally Richard Spencer, a prominent neo-Nazi who was manipulates them with rhetoric that takes the onus infamously punched in the face after Donald Trump’s of their behavior and places it onto the unrequited inauguration while wearing a Pepe the Frog pin, object of their affections. Their emotions then manifest and Gavin McInnes, former editor of liberal zeitgeist as a deep-seated hatred of women and the desire to tome Vice Magazine. He now heads a far-right men’s wholly dominate them. It describes itself as a forum for organization known as the Proud Boys. The Proud “discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly Boys believe that it is humiliating and emasculating for lacking a positive identity for men”, aiming to men to not consume meat or dairy, and disparagingly 22

Digital Militarization: The Rise of the Manosphere refer to those who do not consume either as “soy boys”. The Donald, and indeed Donald Trump’s fanbase in general, operates in a similar way to The Red Pill, weaponizing insecurities in those who have always been told they have no need to feel insecure.

wide support of Donald Trump, either for his politics or his role as “the ultimate troll” that embodied 4chan’s ideals of societal chaos. /pol/ planned several campaigns of their own during this time that revolved around the infiltration of pro-Clinton groups to disseminate disinformation and distrust; there are rumours that the infamous “Pee Tape” is a hoax of /pol/ origins, operating as a straw man to discredit liberal media and validate Trump’s “fake news” agenda. Along with The Donald, /pol/ was integral to the spread of the officially debunked Pizzagate conspiracy. “Pizzagate” alleged that officials in Hillary Clinton’s campaign were involved in the satanic ritual sexual abuse of children, operating out of a pizza restaurant, Comet Ping Pong, in Washington, DC. In 2016 a man was apprehended in Comet Ping Pong after firing a rifle, after he had travelled from North Carolina to investigate the conspiracy for himself.

Reddit’s accessibility, combined with the relative anonymity of the internet, means it can serve as a mainstream forum for such open bigotry more so than the more “underground” 4chan, and has effectively mobilized a legion of young white men, who were otherwise isolated from social networks, to rail against their perceived oppressors. The users of The Donald aim to antagonize and troll the left into self-destruction, while chipping away at their credibility and attempting to infiltrate and build distrust within those communities.

Their tactics, fostered within the internet’s original Hellmouth, 4chan, can seem so innocuous that it’s easy to miss their gravitas. An example is 4chan and the Alt-Right’s successful rebranding of illustrator Matt Furie’s friendly character Pepe the Frog to a mascot for white supremacy, akin to a modern day version of the re-appropriation of the swastika by the Nazis (Furie, after an admirable campaign to reclaim Pepe, announced the character’s death in 2017).

Since their inception, online MRA and Alt-Right communities have escalated in confidence of their bigotry and their threats of violence — and Donald Trump’s presidency and his propagation of such open hatred only fuels these young men in their behavior.

But all is not lost. For every Their tactics, fostered within cry of “soy boy Beta cuck” on one subreddit, there will be a the internet’s original young person learning the grassroots of intersectional Hellmouth, 4chan, can feminism on another.

First launched in 2003, 4chan is a forum modelled on Japanese image boards seem so innocuous that it’s for discussing otaku and easy to miss their gravitas. popular culture. It’s entirely Like humanity itself, the anonymous, and its original internet is constantly growing focus on anime and manga has expanded over time and expanding, and we the user have the power to to boards for broader and Western-based topics such use this tool for the positive, and brave through the as film, music, video games, and NSFW content. The nuclear winter of viral misogyny. While even in New site soon became known as a hub for the propagation Zealand we suffer the consequences of President of racist and misogynistic memes, encouragement of Donald Trump, it is important to remember the words doxxing (posting personal information of someone of First Lady Michelle Obama: when they go low, we online with the intent to direct abuse to them in real go high — with a little sprinkle of cathartic roasting life), and uploads of revenge and child pornography. of these nerds on the Twitter timeline, which I can’t 4chan’s founder Christopher “moot” Poole stepped directly quote Michelle Obama on. The internet is an down from and ceased involvement with the site incredibly valuable resource for humanity, in giving a in 2015, after Gamergate, where several boards voice and a platform to those who have historically not including /pol/ (politics), /v/ (video games), and /b/ held those things, and should be providing multitudes (“random”), participated in the targeted harassment of diverse, positive, and informative communities all of women in the gaming industry. Their primary target over the world. We simply can’t let that space be used was developer Zoë Quinn, who was forced to flee her to unite literal fucking Nazis in 2018. home after being subjected to repeated hacking and doxxing. Many 4chan posters and members of online groups for male-coded hobbies like video games see women and gender minorities as threats to these tightknit communities, which most of these men do not have in their IRL lives. /pol/ in particular received heavy traffic during the 2016 US Presidential Election, with a general board23

Deep Space Faun Rice

The Grateful Dead began touring in the mid-1960s, and the fans who dedicatedly followed them around the United States included not only deadheads and groupies, but also volunteer medics. They provided care for music-lovers going through crises, sometimes induced by psychedelic drugs. At concerts and festivals in the US and around the world, groups of caregivers began to provide unique health care for young people on mind-altering substances. A twenty-something on acid who didn’t feel comfortable seeking help from Emergency Services or Security could instead go talk to a kind volunteer in a safe space, hydrate, and talk in private. Many of the organizations founded in the 1960s and 1970s, such as White Bird Clinic, still exist and continue to hold space at big international and American festivals.

The team was present at three Kiwi festivals in 2017 (Kiwiburn, Eyegum, and Aum) and has two lined up for 2018 so far.

Olivia first got the idea to found a New Zealand festival care organization after she saw a similar model at an Australian festival. She visited the tent first as a sober festival-goer, and was impressed with their unbiased drug education, with information about dosage and how to identify substances correctly. “It was the first festival I’d ever been to where they had a space for people going through difficult things,” she said.

Later that night she was out with her friends and a guy offered them MDMA, then came back a few minutes after they had taken it to say he had gotten it wrong.

“He came back and said it was ketamine, but he said not to worry because if you eat ketamine, it doesn’t work, and then he gave us some real MDMA. So that was some bad harm reduction advice,” she laughed.

“I was out on the dance floor feeling really good, then the next minute I was puking, and ended up going to the harm reduction place I had gone to check out sober.” Olivia treated this story as a case in point as to why festival care organizations are needed, along with higher quality drug education.

Psychedelic “harm reduction”, a term often used by such organizations, has been slower to reach New Zealand. Deepspace is a new organization working its way into the Kiwi festival scene. I met Olivia Montgomery, its founder, for lunch during my first full day in Auckland. Olivia is 23, with a practical aesthetic and lively personal energy – she talks fast and enthusiastically about the topics she cares about.

Deepspace is a volunteer-run New Zealand initiative that attends festivals and provides a safe space for visitors going through challenging experiences.

Olivia’s training manual calls it “a confidential, nonjudgemental space where guests who are experiencing difficult emotional and overwhelming situations, often due to unregulated substances, can find respite”.

Olivia is still friends with the first sitter who helped her out during that experience, a volunteer with psychedelically multicoloured hair. “So that really started my whole trip with all of this, being a person who needed the care and wanting to pay it forward.

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Deep Space Olivia described what a person can expect to see if they enter the Deepspace area. First, there is “an entrance tent with information and pamphlets about dosage, advice on different experiences, and there are two sitters out front, friendly faces so that people know where to find us. Then we have a courtyard kind of space: you come through our admin space, and then into the courtyard, and then there is a yurt and a beautiful bell tent where we have beds and pillows, spaces to lie down. If someone is really disruptive they can go into one of the more private spaces”. She mentioned that the design of having different areas – the darker yurt, the lofty bell tent, and the outdoor courtyard–was inspired by the uncomfortable layout she encountered during her first experience in a care space in Australia. “Everyone could see everyone which was really scary and intrusive, you could see someone next to you convulsing and someone else freaking out… so we have three main spaces, where people can sit or talk or sleep, with different moods.”

That really bad experience turned out to be a really rewarding and educational one.”

When Olivia got back to New Zealand and looked for an organization to volunteer with, she couldn’t find any. “I’m not the kind of person that would say, well, the story ends there,” she commented, shrugging. She founded Deepspace not long after.

Deepspace takes its inspiration from larger harm reduction organizations that not only insert themselves into festival infrastructure, but also support drug testing, education, and research on substance use and abuse. Olivia volunteered with some American organizations after her Australian experience, such as Zendo, the festival care arm of the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS), going to big American festivals like Burning Man in Nevada.

Zendo provides a space for visitors to come sit with a volunteer and/or medic, and provides information on drug effects, dosage, and danger of addiction. When possible, it also provides drug testing services, so that guests can be sure of the real content of whatever substance they have bought or been given.

Deepspace volunteers are often “health care workers, mental health nurses, and psychiatrists”, and there are usually 20-30 volunteers at a festival with 3-5 people on duty per shift, usually with one roaming the grounds with a radio to see if anyone needs to be brought in. Festival medical and security staff are invited to an introductory briefing so that they know what kinds of help Deepspace can provide, and who to direct there.

A Kiwi organization called KnowYourStuffNZ has been providing drug tests at some festivals throughout the country over the last three years. During the summer of 2017/2018, approximately one in five of their drug tests (21%) revealed contents that weren’t what the buyer or user had been expecting. Of these, about half were something totally different than what festival-goers thought they had bought (often bath salts), a quarter were laced with a different substance, and the rest were unidentifiable. KnowYourStuffNZ has a growing volunteer force, and has often informally teamed up with Deepspace to cover all aspects of harm reduction at New Zealand festivals.

Olivia has seen drug cultures vary across the different festivals she has attended and worked – in Australia and New Zealand, she sees a serious binge culture when compared with a few longstanding US festivals.

In states like Oregon or California, she had friends whose “parents were Deadheads,” had “grown up going to festivals,” and usually knew how to handle themselves on drugs. At New Zealand and Australian festivals, she believes people “romanticise overconsumption”. She said people often “Snapchat their friends gurning (facial distortions often resulting from amphetamines or MDMA) and freaking out, instead of helping them get to medical”.

In New Zealand, Deepspace’s mission is to “deescalate all situations” and provide an alternative to physical medical care and security. Its volunteers “don’t give advice, they are just there to listen and hold space”. A visitor can go and spend time with a volunteer sitter if they are having a challenging experience linked to substance use. This does not usually include alcohol: while Deepspace will take care of anyone who needs it, Olivia took great pains to emphasize that their space is not a place for drunk people to congregate. Of the 67 visitors Deepspace helped over their first three events, the most common substances people reported being on were LSD (17) and MDMA (14), sometimes in combination with other drugs. Ages ranged from 17 to people in their 40s, but guests in their 20s were the most common visitors (about half of those who gave their age).

Olivia added that better education was really her biggest mission: “Friends are laughing at their friends going through psychosis instead of helping them – noone gets drug education in high school, no-one knows what to do. We need a cultural shift to make it cool to be safe and know how to look after your mates. If everyone had a little bit of Deepspace training then Deepspace wouldn’t need to exist, because everyone would be having a safe and supported time.”

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SPEND IT. KEEP IT. REMEMBER .

e

e

orld War I was the largest conflict the world had ever seen to that time.

New Zealand sent over 100,000 young men to fight, over 550 nurses and others â&#x20AC;&#x201C; about 9% of our population at the time.

More than 16,500 kiwis were killed, many more were wounded. Finally on 11 November 1918, after four years of fighting, the Armistice was signed and the guns fell silent.

To commemorate this historic event, and the sacrifices made by service personnel and their families, the Reserve Bank is releasing a special coloured 50 cent coin into general circulation. As the Armistice Day coin is legal tender you can choose to spend it, or keep it to remember.

RBK0054

Learn more about the Armistice Day coin with the free augmented reality app. Scan the QR code with your mobile then point it at a coin (or a picture of one) for video and other interactive content .

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Insectnificant.

For God’s sake stop guarding the mango; a moth can only adore so much light.

Sentiments gone and excitements distorted; mosquitos have taken over his beetle brain.

His brothers and sisters so remarkably yellow; so why are his stripes black and white?

The sound of crickets and itching keep him awake; somewhat lonely, he lets fleas and bedbugs stay.

A fly on the wall screams irony; deaf and blind, he knows nothing.

Perhaps a cruel grasshopper stereotype; he’s no wiser than a worm.

Nonetheless the tides are changing; a hose funnel drowns the colony.

Refreshing for this one swimming ant; no longer aching over required heavy-lifting.

After all, he’s not here to fuck spiders; all eight of his fingers are on the pulse.

Hindsight now clearly twenty-twenty; he ends as a caterpillar, twelve eyes open.

- H.

submit poems to poetry@salient.org.nz

My mother’s favourite saying is, “I’m gasping for a cuppa tea!” This usually means she’s had a very long and stressful day, and can’t wait for the warmth of a steaming mug of English Breakfast in her hands to mimic the feeling of human contact, without the annoyance of said human contact. However, I have also witnessed her wake up from a three hour nap and announce that she is, still, “gasping for a cuppa!” So there goes that theory.

water to drink when a gust of wind blew leaves into his water, which changed colour. Shen Nung was a scientific kind of chap, so he experimented, and discovered something pretty tasty. In reality, this leafjuice was probably far different to what we drink today, because our tea goes through a carefully timed process of cutting and drying before it arrives in our mugs. And the story probably isn’t true, anyway.

Tea plants were not common in China until during the Tang dynasty around the year 600 AD, when a lot more plants were found. The Chinese government really encouraged the drinking of tea, as it had apparent health benefits and, of course, made China money. Tea spread to Japan via priests studying in China, who returned and created the Japanese tea ceremony, based on the idea that sitting down and

There are hundreds of teas available to consumers all around the world. It’s drunk on every continent (including Antarctica!). But nobody knows the exact origin of tea. The story goes that, 5000 years ago in 2737 BC, Emperor Shen Nung was travelling through China, and being a man far ahead of his time, was very into sanitation. He had stopped to rest and boil 30

What's the Tea? sharing tea can bring peace between people. And honestly, I feel a lot less grumpy with my mother if she brings me a cuppa. Extra points if there’s a Gingernut.

covered from sunlight in the 20 days before harvest, so the plants produce more chlorophyll (if you recall Year 12 biology), and thus more of the amino acid, L-Theanine, which is thought to promote relaxation.

Tea slowly spread all over the world, and today is iconically British. In fact, tea only arrived in Britain in the 17th century, brought to England by the Dutch, who got it from the Portuguese during the DutchPortuguese War. The four main producers of tea today are China, India, Kenya, and Sri Lanka. Almost all tea is harvested by hand twice a year, first in early spring, and again in summer. The plants must be cared for and pruned all year round, but when it comes to picking, only the two top leaves and the bud from each plant are harvested. The tea you drink is probably from a plant that has been thriving for years. The picked leaves are taken to a factory on the plantation. It has to be close, as oxidation starts right away, which can affect the taste of the tea. Different teas often have differing levels of oxidation.

The health benefits of tea are general knowledge, but surprisingly lack evidence. Green tea especially is high in antioxidants, which we assume are super good for us. This is based on the idea of antioxidants fight free radicals in our bodies. Free radicals are little oxygen molecules floating around trying to rip other oxygen molecules away from our body’s existing atoms to become stable (Year 13 chem, anyone?). According to the free radical theory of aging, our body wears down due to this cellular destruction, and antioxidants were meant to provide spare oxygen molecules for the free radicals to steal. Free radicals are a real thing, but antioxidants have recently come under debate.

Experiments on genetically modified mice have shown that mice who are altered to have less susceptibility to free radicals do not actually live longer than normal, and national regulatory agencies like the FDA are now taking a skeptical view of unsupported claims in their nutrition recommendations.

Despite the current uncertainty around whether or not antioxidants are as good as they’re made out to be by companies trying to sell us things, it is scientifically agreed that, at least, they shouldn’t hurt you.

Here’s a twist: black, green, oolong (actually pronounced “woo-long”), and the rare white tea are all from the same plant: Camellia Sinensis, otherwise known as the tea bush.

Different varieties of tea are determined by how the tea is picked and processed. Some teas have things added, like Earl Grey, which is black tea mixed with the essential oil of bergamot orange.

herbal teas are not tea, as they contain no tea leaves and are actually just steeped herbs or fruit.

We can’t explain it, but historically tea is correlated with benefits such as lower blood pressure and less risk of heart disease. But perhaps people who drink tea just generally live healthier lives? Hey, better safe than sorry.

Black tea is the most popular, and counts for 75% of all tea production. It is picked, cut, and then dried, during which it turns from green to the familiar reddish-brown. Green tea uses much the same process, but is steamed instead of dried. This stops the oxidation process, which is the stage which turns the leaves brown, which is why green tea stays green.

Oolong tea, which is more common in Asian countries than Western, falls between black and green, and is oxidised and then steamed, too. White tea, which has only been available outside of China for a few years, is only picked two days out of the year, before the buds are open. It’s then processed in a similar way to green tea.

No matter the health benefits of tea, it is generally agreed, as my mother has clearly figured out, that tea works as a refresher, a relaxor, and a comforter. It’s my go-to in almost every situation. Studying? Cup of tea. Bad day? Cup of tea. Friend’s boyfriend cheated on her? Cup of tea. Hot or cold, milk or sugar, tea is there for us. And thanks Mum, I will take another Gingernut with that.

• Coffee contains 80-120 mg of caffeine per mug. A mug of black tea has 20-60mg • New Zealand consumed 1.19kg of tea per capita in 2016, making us the 6th highest consuming country • Turkey was number 1 with 3.16kg • China, surprisingly, was only 19th

Despite the name, herbal teas are not tea, as they contain no tea leaves and are actually just steeped herbs or fruit. Surprisingly, chai is tea, and is made from spices mixed with black tea. The recent darling of the health food industry (apart from kale, and fuck kale) is matcha. This is simply green tea ground down, usually by hand, to a fine powder. The tea bushes are 31

Columns

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS

VUWSA

MARLON DRAKE

JACK DONOVAN

Taken from my Facebook

First off, I have to shout out all of the VUWSA staff.

They have done an amazing job: Matt our CEO, Hannah on the Comms, Beth on Events (who’s leaving super soon and will be so hard to replace), Sam our new Association Secretary (who hasn’t had time to be bad yet but oh well), Joseph as Student Representation Co-ordinator, Erica our Advocate, Josephine on Advertising, and our receptionists, Renate, Raven, Emily, and Bianca. When I get out of here in a couple of months, most of this team will remain, continuing to ensure that VUWSA is well cared for.

HI VUW FRIENDS! Quick word on the NAME CHANGE! While it feels like the decision has already been made, you can still make your submission by sending a letter to the Minister of Education. VUWSA will be making a submission to the Minister as well reflecting the views of our student submissions that the name should not change.

Now a quick word about a good mate of mine, Isabella Lenihan-Ikin. Issie is one of the two student representatives on university council who voted in favour of the name change. It was a really tough decision but she did it because she believed it will be best for students, and for the university. Some people agree with her, some don't. Many just do not really care either way. This is all fine, and Issie hasn't shied away from the debate.

What is not okay is bullying and personal attacks because she made a decision you disagree with. There is always room for passionate debate, and I have seen lots of opposition presented in a well measured and respectful way. I've also seen some pretty disgusting behaviour, mainly in the form of cyber-bullying. This is especially irresponsible given the climate of mental health in our community that many criticizers of the name change have been highlighting.

I'm not perfect, so really all I can say is that I hope that those that are taking part in the targeted personal bullying of a 22 year old student leader in our community reflect on their actions, and of whether those actions are in line with the values associated with the name "Victoria" they claim to be defending.

We can do better.

Happy to get ripped on this, but luckily I know that the people I associate with are civil and respectful.

On a final note, I hope to see engagement of this level on other issues facing students, such as poor mental health, sexual violence, and a fucking awful student housing situation coming straight at us this summer.

Anyway, it’s that stressful time of the year. The exams are quickly appearing on the horizon, and those assignments you had weeks for, well, the less said about them, the better. I’m not going to be hypocritical, I suck with stress. I deal with it poorly, becoming somewhat reclusive. While this doesn’t ensure that I study, it means that I can at least give off the appearance of studying while secretly just wasting time, stuck in YouTube loops till 1am. The one piece of advice I can give though, is fixing Instagram.

Instagram sucks. It’s usually filled with pictures of people I don’t care about having fun with people I care even less about. However, my friend Dan taught me this one trick that made Instagram worth it.

The Simpsons.

The amount of Simpson quality content on is incredibly high. Instead of seeing Robert from high school post pictures of his holiday in Australia, or Samantha drinking expensive alcohol, my Instagram is filled with quotes and moments like, “I’d rather let a thousand guilty men go free than chase after them,” and” trust me, Bart, it’s better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them”.

Quality content.

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What if the universe were infinitely large? More specifically, what if there were infinitely many people (or agents relevantly similar to us) in the universe? This possibility raises a number of difficult philosophical problems. In this edition, I outline a paradox that arises in infinite universes. The philosopher Caspar Hare, who has written about the paradox, calls it “The Paradox of Infinite Distrust,” and it is as follows: Imagine that you are one of the inhabitants of an infinite universe. I sit you down at a table in a small enclosed room. There is an open box on the table in front of you. I toss a fair die into the box, and quickly put the lid on the box before you can see the result of the die roll.

What is the probability that the die in your box displays a 6?

Now I tell you that I have set up this exact scenario for an infinite number of other people in the universe.

I have put each one of these infinite number of people into a room with an open box in front of them, tossed a fair die into the box, and covered up the lid.

What is the probability that the die in your box displays a 6?

Suppose I now pick an arbitrary point in the universe, and designate this point “the centre of the universe” – call it C. I then divide the people in the universe into two groups: those whose die displays a 6 (call them “sixers”), and those whose die displays a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 (call them “non-sixers”). In any given region of space, the number of non-sixers is about five times the number of sixers (remember that the dice are all fair!).

Now, I take the sixer who is closest to C, and the non-sixer who is closest to C, and call them “buddies”.

Then I take the sixer who is second-closest to C, and the non-sixer who is second-closest to C, and call them buddies too. And so on, so that every person in the universe has a buddy.

What is the probability that the die in your box displays a 6?

I now open up a Skype call between you and your buddy, who is in the exact same situation as you – they also don’t know what the die in their box displays. I now ask each of you: What is the probability that the die in your box displays a 6?

Consider two arguments: Argument 1: the probability is 1/6. After all, 1/6 was clearly the answer when I first asked you this question. Since then, I’ve added a bunch of new information. But none of this new information is relevant to whether or not your die displays a 6. After all, it’s just information about stuff I’ve been doing elsewhere in the universe. So nothing has changed since the first time I asked you this question, which means that the answer must still be the same – 1/6.

Argument 2: the probability that your die is a 6 must be the same as the probability that your buddy’s die is a 6. After all, you are in perfectly symmetrical situations. You have both been given identical information. Now, by construction, either your die or your buddy’s displays a 6. One of you is a sixer and the other is not. This means that the probability that your die displays a 6 is 1/2.

So which is it? We have two seemingly flawless arguments. But their conclusions contradict each other. Is the probability 1/2, or 1/6?

1 To clear up any confusion: this step is perfectly possible, mathematically speaking. The set of all sixers is a countably infinite set – you can think of the sixers as lining up with the natural numbers 1, 2, 3, …. The set of all non-sixers is (roughly speaking) five copies of this set. But copying the set of natural numbers 5 times preserves the “cardinality” of the resulting set (you can think of it as a measure of the “size” of the set).

Since the cardinality of the set of sixers is the same as the cardinality of the set of non-sixers, a bijection (a one-to-one pairing) between them exists, so the buddy pairing is possible.

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Columns

SWAT

NT: TE ARA TAUIRA

BY WINTER JONES

JADE GIFFORD

Mindfulness. What is it? Before I really understood it I thought it was just another of the absolute plethora of buzzwords that people threw around in the never-ending quest to live an unrealistically healthy lifestyle. Yoga. High intensity workouts. Clean eating.

Meditation. Mindfulness.

As most of you probably know a couple of weeks ago was Te Wiki o te Reo Māori. One of the events we held was our annual taupatupatu at Te Herenga Waka marae. This year we had two debates — one te Reo and one English, tauira vs pūkenga. The tauira took out the English section and the pukenga took out the Māori section.

Pass! I thought. I’m living my best life with my pizza and video games! Oh yeah!

Here’s a run down of some of the kōrero that went down in the English debate. Kaupapa: should we not allow the live-streaming/filming of tangihanga?

...And then I crashed pretty hard. I burnt out, and it’s taken me almost a year to feel like myself again. I had to postpone a lot of plans that I’d really been looking forward to, and learn to drastically restructure my life so that it won’t happen again. It was tremendously frustrating and I started really looking into these “buzzwords” with the thought that there had to be something in them. Out of all of them, mindfulness is the one that resonated with me.

WHAKAAE: We should not allow the livestreaming and filming of tangihanga. As it extends the boundary of the marae,it jeopardises the mauri and tapu of the ceremony itself. With Māori being more dispersed than ever, we believe that if whānau know they can participate in tangi from their homes, they may no longer have a reason to visit their turangawaewae, or whānau. As Māori, we value kanohi kitea, or face to face interaction, this is not a value that can be enacted over livestream or video. Livestreaming tangi does not allow the whānau pani (family in grieving) to grieve in privacy. More importantly, whānau must have the opportunity for their tears and hupe to touch their whenua, a signifier of loss and connection to the person who has passed, the land, and our ancestors.

I think we can all agree that university can be pretty challenging at times. All the unstructured time often means every hour could be a productive one. When you do relax, it can be difficult to let go of your work and not have it niggling in the back of your head.

Mindfulness, put simply, is just the practice of being aware of each moment as it happens. It does have a lot in common with meditation, but you don’t need to stop everything and quiet your mind. Instead, you just focus on what is happening while it is happening. It can just be focusing on what you are feeling physically or emotionally, or what you are thinking. The tricky bit is not to do anything with those sensations, but just observe them. Am I tired? Hungry? Sad? Happy?

WHAKAHE: Māori should continue to adapt to the technologies of the modern world, and adapting and developing tikanga that reflects the times is essential for the survival of our culture. As Sir Apirana Ngata once said — we must use the tools of the Pākehā to advance ourselves and keep the treasures of our culture as a crown for our heads.

Practicing mindfulness can stop us from living in the future, and bring that awareness to the present.

Certainly there are arguments for both sides. Getting to debate these topical issues on the marae was a valuable experience and opportunity for us to share our opinions and concerns as young Māori people.

34

FROM THE ARCHIVES MAX NICHOL The structure of student politics at Vic used to be quite different. From the 1966 until about 2012, VUWSA policy was set at meetings of the Student Representative Council. SRC was comprised entirely of students, and any student could initiate a motion at one of its meetings throughout the year. If someone else seconded the motion, those present debated its contents and took a vote on whether it should become VUWSA policy.

The intention behind SRC was to create a flat policy-making structure which was truly representative of the student body. In the 1960s, radical students the world over were influenced by Marxist thinking, and the participatory (rather than representational) democracy of the SRC was a manifestation of these ideas. Within this model, every student had an equal say. VUWSA simply provided the finances and personnel to enact the policy that students created. If VUWSA overstepped its bounds and was seen to be trying to generate policy on its own, the exec were censured in Salient.

SRC dictated VUWSA’s positions on all manner of issues. National and international political issues, the management of VUWSA’s assets, and VUWSA’s relationship to the university were all the subject of SRC debate.

Unfortunately, SRC was faced with the perennial issue of getting students to give a shit about student politics. When anything to do with Capping Week, beer, or assessment workloads was on the agenda, SRC attracted large turnouts. Meetings addressing the humdrum business of setting association policy drew far fewer students.

The lack of student engagement at SRC led some students to question whether it was really achieving its purpose. It only existed to accurately represent the student body. If no one showed up to meetings then it was failing in its sole purpose. SRC Coordinator for 1976 Anthony Ward articulated the issue with SRC in Salient:

SRC meetings often had to contend with farcical diversions from serious discussion as well. Because a debate could be initiated on any subject so long someone seconded the motion, a small group of pisstakers could pretty effectively highjack proceedings.

At the final SRC meeting for 1975, Salient contributor Tony Ward was on the receiving end of such hijinks:

I can’t determine exactly when SRC became defunct or was re-branded, outing me as a talentless hack with no capacity for historical research. Based on an exhaustive search of the Salient and VUWSA websites, it seems that SRC still existed as recently as 2012. That year, VUWSA President Bridie Hood wrote in Salient that VUWSA was looking at “re-branding our Student Representative Council meetings (SRCs) and making them more relevant to students today”.

That was the same year that Voluntary Student Membership was introduced, so the end of SRC was likely one of the many drastic changes resulting from VSM. It’s a pity. For all its flaws, the principles of participation and accountability which underpinned SRC were admirable.

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Columns

MAURI ORA DR GILL MARK Student Health needs your help Student Health provides approximately 40,000 appointments per year to over 12,000 students. We are always looking to enhance our service to you and use resources most effectively.

As we enter one of our busiest times of the year, there are a few things that you can do to help us provide the best care possible.

If you are on regular medications, please help us by organising a repeat prescription 3- 4 weeks ahead of when you need it. This allows us to prescribe safely

and organise a face to face appointment if required.

We can provide interim scripts if you run out, but they are not ideal and use valuable resources (including yours). We are putting in place nurse-led clinics with GP support which will help, so watch this space.

If you haven’t yet enrolled at Student Health, do so 2-3 weeks BEFORE you anticipate needing to be seen.

This allows your notes to be transferred to us. Having access to this information means we can provide the best care for you during your first consultation.

Appointments are routinely scheduled for 15 minutes. If you feel your issue is complex (such as unstable emotional health) or you have a number of issues to discuss, please ask for a 30 minute slot. This way we can run on time, avoid disappointment, and provide safe, quality care.

Waiting times are frustrating and we’re working hard to minimise these. If you have an appointment, PLEASE DO ATTEND IT. If it is no longer required, call the cancellation line at least one hour before the time of your appointment. This allows us to use this for someone else, and also avoids you being charged the “DNA” (did not attend) fee of $18. Did you know there were more than 200 DNAs last month?

Small changes can make a HUGE difference.

Let’s work together to make things better.

YHA 101

Join at yha.co.nz, use the code VUWSA18, SAVE $10

5 Reasons why staying at YHA is your BEST option 1. It’s cheap - beds from $29 2. Clean, comfortable, quality facilities (and free wifi*) 3. Private ensuite for shy types, shared dorms for more social travellers.

4. Central locations, you can walk to the pub!

5. $10 off membership, then keep saving 10% on direct bookings at YHA.co.nz *2GB of Free WiFi per day at all YHA Managed hostels

www.yha.co.nz

Talking With My Dad About Sex Hi I’m Lena. My dad is a sex therapist and I’m studying to be a sex educator – we’re here to talk relationships and sex, so send your queries and worries our way (sex@salient.org.nz).

“Since ending a long term relationship last year I’ve had a few casual hook ups and have been struggling to get and stay hard. This was never a problem in my relationship, and I feel like I’m too young to be having these problems.

Should I see a doctor?”

Dad says: I have had a number of young men talk to me about this concern – their friends are banging anything that has a pulse and boasting about it, while they need to get to know someone before they feel comfortable being sexual with them. This can be a particularly fraught issue if you prefer to have sex with other men.

Lena says: If you have gone and got things checked out, just in case, and you’re in the clear, it might be a good chance to really think about if your current sex life is right for you at this moment. If you continue to have more casual hook ups, and experience issues with erections, it’s likely that you’re anxieties around getting hard could become worse — which will exacerbate any erection issues that are already occurring.

Going and seeing a doctor is not a bad idea. Erectile problems can be a warning sign of cardiovascular issues that, while very rare in young people, are worth eliminating from the picture. However, if you are getting normal erections in the morning and can maintain an erection when you masturbate, then it’s likely that the problem is not medical.

It’s really beneficial to be able to step back if you feel like your sexual encounters are beginning to make you feel negative afterwards, and are only adding to your anxieties around sex. If this is the case, taking a break from more casual encounters might be best for now. You could also do some of your own research this way by starting to look for a more serious partner again, and seeing if being in a more committed and intimate relationship does actually prevent you from experiencing erectile dysfunction. You might just be someone who does need an emotional connection to your partner in order to feel totally comfortable and present, which is not abnormal, as Dad mentioned.

Being both comfortable and present are key for you to be able to be fully aroused, and therefore maintain an erection.

Assuming a medical issue isn’t the case, then you have to think about what works for you sexually. There is still a widely held belief that all men (especially young men) are up for sex anytime, anywhere, anyhow, with anyone. That men have no interest in emotional connection, just how often they can get their end away. That may be true for some, but it’s also not the case for many men.

Yet because being indiscriminate in our choice of sex partners is somehow associated with masculinity (don’t get me started on rape culture), these men are often not talking to their friends and think there’s something wrong with them.

A lot of the time working out preferences like this does take some trial and error, but don’t be hard on yourself if certain things don’t work for you – even if they may be the things you’ve been told you should desire. Experiencing these issues may just mean you learn that sex with a committed partner is what you enjoy the most, and that’s cool.

You’re allowed to like the kind of sex that you like – and if that happens to be “with someone I’ve gotten to know”, then I would encourage you not to see that as a deficiency.

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FILM CHRISTOPHER ROBIN REVIEW: PETER MCKENZIE

plushy friends of his credentials. Eeyore, the depressed donkey, plunged the audience into hysterics over his morose and self-loathing commentary — but even he couldn’t help but smile as he saw adult Robin regain some of his childish wonder.

Most surprising is the film’s extraordinary effectiveness in delivering a message which has been delivered a thousand times before — a carpe diemesque plea to stop, smell the roses, and have fun just doing nothing. Jim Cummings, who has voiced Pooh since 1988, perfectly conveys Pooh’s innocent naïvete — making his platitudinal wisdoms deeply and unexpectedly compelling.

The main target of those platitudes, Robin, is perfectly played by McGregor. He is convincing in his physical comedy, charming in his alternating exasperation and excitement at Pooh’s reemergence, and distressingly effective in his wistful interactions with his frustrated wife and disappointed daughter.

Christopher Robin certainly has its shortcomings.

It is gratuitous and ineffective in its use of overdone plot points, such as the tragedy which befalls young Robin at boarding school, which which the film never touches on again. It also makes little use of Hayley Atwell and Bronte Carmichael, who play Robin’s wife and daughter respectively, never developing their characters into anything more than cookie-cutter cliches.

Yet the movie is shockingly, surprisingly, and satisfyingly moving. Robin and Pooh’s interplay, shown through beautiful cinematography that makes regular use of perfectly framed landscape shots of the Hundred Acre Woods, makes the journey toward the film’s inevitable conclusion deeply enjoyable.

Christopher Robin is not a sophisticated film. Yet it still manages to evoke emotional reactions of all kinds — from euphoric nostalgia to tearful reflection. For that experience alone, it is worth watching.

Christopher Robin’s most memorable quote, delivered by a sweetly melancholic Winnie the Pooh, popped to mind as I left the cinema: “I would have liked it to go on for a little while longer.”

The premise of Christopher Robin, Disney’s liveaction movie featuring Pooh and the other denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood, is simple. Christopher Robin, played by Ewan McGregor, has left Pooh and the Hundred Acre Wood behind; first to boarding school, then to the Second World War, and finally to a struggling luggage company in London. Along the way he has built a family and become a workaholic.

Robin is very much an adult now, and not a fun one.

Pooh must step in to save Robin from himself.

It is a straightforward premise, and Christopher Robin’s plot does not get any more sophisticated as it goes along. The inflection points — the obnoxious Woozel-like boss instructing Robin to miss a family holiday to focus on an imminent deadline, Pooh’s unintentional reemergence into Robin’s life, the rush to get Pooh home, and Robin’s gradual realisation of his misplaced priorities — are entirely foreseeable.

But Christopher Robin never hangs its hat on its plot. The true delight of the film is in the innocently playful, sometimes melancholic, and always nostalgic interactions between Robin and Pooh. For instance, in Pooh’s game of “Say What You See”, which deeply frustrates Robin in his attempt to get work done on the train and is bound to be copied by mischievous younger viewers. Or when Pooh leads Robin back into the Hundred Acre Woods only for Robin to get stuck in the magical doorframe — a subversion of Pooh’s classic habit in previous literary and cinematic appearances of getting stuck, whether in Rabbit’s doorway or in the entrance to a beehive.

These interactions are sure to make audiences chuckle; both those in the know about Pooh’s past adventures, and those who aren’t. Similarly delightful is watching Robin interact with a world he thought he had left behind for good — holding his nose and diving into a river that is now only up to his adult shins, or fighting an imaginary Heffalump to convince his 38

TELEVISION KIM’S CONVENIENCE WRITTEN BY: INS CHOI, KEVIN WHITE, GARRY CAMPBELL REVIEW: MATILDA BOESE-WONG

Kim’s Convenience is a clever Canadian sitcom following the lives of a Korean Canadian family running their convenience store. The Kim family’s interactions with its diverse neighbourhood of customers is interwoven with family centric plotlines, where Umma and Appa try their best as immigrants to raise their children to have a better life than their own. It’s a hilarious and often heartfelt show. The convenience store setting is a perfect backdrop for this multicultural story.

of strict or overprotective parents are developed and even subverted throughout the series. As Asian kids, we eventually grow old enough to understand why our parents restricted us: they simply wanted what was best for us, and this understanding is apparent in Kim’s Convenience (no offence Lane Kim from Gilmore Girls).

The character of Jung, who is estranged from his father due to going to juvie as a teen, and his struggle with the resentment he feels towards his parents, coupled with his efforts to shake his estrangement, is a unique and poignant choice. Jung’s character helps us second generation migrants understand our parents’ loving but frustrating reasons for restricting us socially in order for us to do better in schooling and have the kind of success that they couldn’t have.

In a world of Asian side characters as nerds, lotus blossoms, kung fu masters, and dragon ladies, this show provides necessary relief for diasporic Asian audiences. It feels real, in a way that I have personally never seen on screen before. It is truly what we want when we ask for representation. Conceived by Korean Canadian author, Ins Choi, the plotlines and cultural nuances feel authentic and relatable rather than tokenistic or stereotyped. Umma’s insistence on feeding her children despite Jung not living at home, and her interference in Janet’s love life to find her a “cool Korean Christian boy”, coupled with Appa’s utter stubbornness to ever admit he actually cares, are undeniably relatable situations for many Asian and immigrant kids.

Beyond its importance in our current media landscape due to the utter dearth of Asian characters on screen, Kim’s Convenience nails the family sitcom in a way that our generation has never seen before. The whole cast shines with their comedic timing and authentic interactions, while representing an often unseen family unit that is universally relatable in its strengths and struggles, even here in New Zealand.

The show is aware of itself and the society we live in. It acknowledges serious issues like racial profiling, privilege, and stereotyping in such an easily digestible way for a wider audience by poking fun at these issues, thus undermining their presence. There is a scene where two young Muslim girls enter the store in hijabs and another customer asks Appa how he can tell them apart. He prides himself in his ability: “it’s not hard, just have to care for customer”. The girls approach the other customer and admit “he gets it wrong 50% of the time, but he tries”. The show is filled with these wholesome and good natured interactions.

This is a show wholly deserving of recognition. There is a feeling that Hollywood and mainstream media are ever so slowly beginning to change in their issues with representation of minorities, and Kim’s Convenience is pushing us forward. In an industry which has historically rewarded white people for portraying Asians over actual Asian actors, it is crucial that we recognise and celebrate a show like Kim’s Convenience, and strive to present more Asian stories on screen.

Now streaming on Netflix with a third season on its way.

For Asian diaspora living in Western countries, this show truly hits close to home. Plotlines about the reality 39

BOOK CALYPSO (2018)

BY DAVID SEDARIS REVIEW: XANDRE STEPHENS

Books by David Sedaris almost always contain what can probably be best described as “collections of personal essays”, and the latest of these was recently published under the title Calypso. Once again, he’s written what makes for a super funny (and yet also sad) book which reads in true Sedaris style. That is to say: Sedaris’ books are unique, and thereby kind of hard to define. He has reinvented the memoir game, in that these essays he writes often read as fiction, but the stories he tells are all (apparently) true and based on his everyday life.

his endless astute observation, not only of himself but of the world around him, and here he uses this ability to tell wonderfully insightful stories better than ever.

In Calypso, these observations are, as always, largely fed by Sedaris’ close relationships with his siblings, but this time also by his purchase of a holiday house at the beach where they used to stay as children, by the current political climate in the U.S., by his getting older, and by his younger sister’s recent suicide. The chapters involving her can be really hard to read, as Sedaris unflinchingly discusses their strained relationship and her mental illness.

In one of the essays found in Calypso, Sedaris gets angry at a family member when she suggests that the day-to-day tales he recounts for the people around him are embellished. And while reading his books, it can sometimes be pretty easy to see where she comes from, as many of the scenarios he describes seem too bizarre to be entirely true (a solid example of this in Calypso being Sedaris’ account of a time where he fed a lipoma cut from his own body to a snapping turtle).

So, if you’re interested in reading about topics including: eccentric families; the mixed feelings of disappointment and hope experienced by queer people and leftists in this hellish world; and the many interesting strangers Sedaris comes across and probes for detail – all as seen through his misanthropic yet somehow also affectionate view of the world – then Calypso is for you. Only David Sedaris can have you laughing out loud on one page (such as when he describes the lengths he goes to avoid spending too much quality time with his siblings when they come to visit) and in tears on the next (when he hugs their used sheets to his chest after they leave).

But after reading a couple of his essays, one will probably start to find that Sedaris is just a bit of a weird guy, and reading his writing is fun because he doesn’t shy away from his idiosyncrasies. Calypso in particular is startlingly truthful in terms of Sedaris’ exposure of himself, whether concerning light-hearted matters or not (one of its taglines being: “it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself”). This honesty and selfawareness makes Calypso really funny, occasionally dark, and moving – sometimes all at once.

And in this way it is much the same as every other one of Sedaris’ books. The laughter mixed with sadness found in stories about his family, his travels, his bickering with his partner Hugh, and his constant use of self-deprecating humour can almost be put to a formula by this point. But this doesn’t make Calypso boring or unoriginal: one of Sedaris’ greatest gifts is

40

ART SPRING CLEANING REVIEW: JANE WALLACE

There is an ache to spring that I feel when I notice the flowers starting to bloom along the Hutt highway.

Falling towards the sun. First swim of the season, when it’s not warm enough yet. You get a haircut. Here are some things to fill the afternoons that get longer.

Produced in response to Georgina Watson’s project Larks in the dawn, Aoake writes about the trauma of colonisation and modes of grief.

Can Tame Anything at The Dowse, until 25 November Ruth Buchanan, Alicia Frankovich, Mata Aho Collective and Sriwhana Spong

The Future is Death at Toi Pōneke, until 13 October Taupuruariki Brightwell, Leala Faleseuga, Huriana Kopeke-Te Aho, Rex Paget, Janice aka Hy-bee Ikiua Pasi-Taito curated by Leilani A. Sio

Concepts of body, site, objects, and language thread through this exhibition. The intersections between these things are what I am most interested by. How does language feel? How does the presence of a body in space transform a work? How can we visualise the production of knowledge?

This exhibition considers the fragmenting of connections between tangata whenua and tangata o le moana that have been caused by colonisation.

Shifting between different media, this exhibition moves away from a linear temporal perspective. These artists imagine a future for the Pacific that is not structured by a colonial past.

Mother and Daughter on Hiatus at MEANWHILE, opening 5 October Claudia Edwards Edwards’ painted friezes explore the tensions that are often present in the relationship between a mother and daughter. Often these arguments are like intense sporting matches, but devoid of a referee, left to reach a bitter or entertaining stalemate. These paintings preserve this rivalry so the viewer can be the final witness in the gallery.

Edit for Equity: Art & Literature at Adam Art Gallery, 13 October, 12-4pm, entry free but registration required

The contributions of women, trans, and non-binary people to Wikipedia account for a minority of entries to the database. Consequently, the information on Wikipedia is largely shaped by male perspectives.

This event aims to increase the visibility of people that aren’t cis males who edit or write online entries relating to art and literature in Aotearoa. People of all gender identities and expressions are welcomed.

Body fluids are poetic, not slime but nectar at Window Gallery online,

http://windowgallery.co.nz/exhibitions/body-fluidsare-poetic-not-slime-but-nectar Hana Pera Aoake

Body fluids are poetic is an interactive text, a heartbreak text. Spring is for hanging your washing out in the sun for the first time in months and crying.

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MUSIC COURTNEY BARNETT WELLINGTON OPERA HOUSE, 30/8/18 REVIEW: RUBEN GRANT

Performing at the sold-out Wellington Opera House, Courtney Barnett demonstrated her international success and experience: blending dreamy indie-rock with a punkier sludge, supplemented by plenty of energy and volume. The third and final show in the NZ leg of her international tour, Courtney rocked the venue for two hours, and left us wanting more.

Since her Auckland Laneway festival performance in 2016, Courtney has received a received worldwide acclaim, including a Grammy nomination. Earlier this year she released her second album, Tell Me How You Really Feel and it is clear she has matured sonically and performatively in the past three years. The new record’s shift to a darker, more anxious tone was well realized in performance, while the strengths of her debut, Sometimes I Sit And Think, And Sometimes I Just Sit, remained with the tongue-in-cheek lyrics and catchy jammy sound.

The four-piece band was tight and versatile; dropping into a slow, psychedelic groove before launching into intense head pumping rock. Courtney’s voice was never lost under the band, which was impressive considering her spectrum, from sweet folkish singing to borderline screaming, and important given her

witty and thought-provoking lyrics. Dressed in jeans and a white shirt, Courtney had the rare quality of seeming really down to earth but still super cool and talented. A highlight was her ripping solo during Small Poppies, contorting herself and the guitar around the stage with awesome energy.

Chat was minimal between songs, with Courtney politely asking how we were enjoying it and thanking us for being an attentive audience. I would’ve liked to have seen Courtney in a stand-up venue — instead, those who wanted to get up and dance had to do with the side-aisles. Otherwise the Opera House served well, providing lots of space, sound, and good lighting.

Reflected in the crowd’s mix of age-groups, there is a timelessness in Courtney’s music; grounded by her strong musical roots in folk and alternative rock alongside her genuine style and refreshing talent as a writer. Emerging to calls for an encore, Courtney did a beautiful solo cover of Gillian Welch’s "Everything Is Free", captivating the audience. This is an artist who’ll be sticking around, so don’t worry if you missed her this time.

FLIGHTS, TOURS CONTIKI & MORE

E U R O P E E A R LY B I R D

STA TRAVEL VICTORIA UNI Kelburn Parade 04 499 5032 victoriauni@statravel.com

statravel.com

TCs apply

FOOD FLAT BREAD RECIPE RECIPE: TOM HALL

Flatbread sits at a comfortable midpoint between cost, effort, and taste. When a whole bag of flour is $2, making weekly batches of flat bread is an essential way to cut your grocery bill down. Apart from costing next to nothing, it goes along well with late winter soups and curries. Start to finish, the whole preparation should take you 30 minutes — perfect for a break between readings.

After about 2 hours of chilling, turn the dough onto a floured bench and separate it into balls. This should make about 5-6 flatbread balls. Then roll each ball out to your desired size. It’s better to make them reasonably thin so that the bread is cooked through when you fry it. Flour the bread lightly, so that they don’t stick together before you cook them. I like to use a heavier pan to cook these, something like a cast iron or stainless steel is better if you have access to it. Set it on the hob at a medium heat and oil the pan with about 1 tablespoon. You may have to change the oil as you fry more bread (remember not to chuck it down the sink!). When the pan is to temperature, place a flat bread in the centre. Fry either side until it whitens and becomes golden brown. At this point the centre should be cooked as well. Rest the breads on a wire rack to cool and drain the oil.

Ingredients Flat bread 2 cups of wholemeal flour (white/all purpose flour also works) 1 cup of boiling water 2 pinches of salt 2 tablespoons of oil Yoghurt dip 1 pottle of unsweetened yoghurt 3 clove of garlic Juice from 1 lemon Pinch of your preferred spice blend 1/2 cucumber grated finely

I sometimes make this with peanut butter or garlic and herbs folded into the bread, but this also works plain with yoghurt dip. This yogurt dip is similar to cucumber raita or tzatziki and it’s great to eat alongside spicy foods to cool your mouth.

Yogurt Dip Start mincing the garlic, if you have a food processor/ blender this would be ideal. Grate the cucumber quite finely and add it to the garlic, yoghurt, and lemon juice in a bowl. This is a good base dip to add things to. From here you could add fresh chopped coriander and mint, or green onions. Dried coriander and cumin is a great blend, paprika and a little bit of nutmeg is another option.

Method Bread I usually start the flatbread about 2 hours before I want to eat, to give it some time in the fridge. Start by adding the flour and salt to a bowl, then slowly mix the boiling water into the dry ingredients. When there are no unmixed dry ingredients then the dough is ready for a tablespoon of oil. The dough will initially look a bit “shaggy” and crumbly, but as you move it around with the oil it will become smoother and more substantial. The dough should cool down quickly so that you can knead it for about 10 minutes on a floured surface. Then wrap in some glad wrap and put it in the fridge.

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Film

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Horoscope Brutally honest & highly accurate readings from the stars above.

Aries (March 21 - Apr 19) Out of sewing needles? Go pick up the next punnet of strawberries from your local.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22) You know you are in a housing crisis when the line for a flat viewing is longer than the line for Siglo.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20) When you think your life couldn’t get any darker, Kelburn has a power outage.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) Finding variety on campus is like finding variety on Vic Confessions, they’re all lonely, sad, white people.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) This week it will become apparent that the name change was sponsored by Vic Books just so they could sell more hoodies.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) Oh yeah you feel like you’re on top of things, just like how Trump think his administration has done more than any other.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Make sure you pay your respects this week, as Phoebe the resident tuatara goes from being a reptile to a RIPtile.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Here’s a thought to get you inspired for those long nights of study — Jacinda Ardern’s baby has peaked more than you ever will.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) Make sure you are as fixated on your studies as Grant Guilford is on changing the name.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Feel like the world’s against you? Maybe it is!

Especially if you’re a law kid, lol, maybe you should have gone to Otago.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22) Take moths as an inspiration, whether it’s getting grades, girls, or guys. Find your lamp.

Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20) Hopefully you voted at the VUWSA elections, this is the only election the candidates might actually keep their promises.

LARRIKINS

Triggerfin by Gus Mitchell, Horoscope by Ashley Parker, Larrikins by Anton Huggard, Sudoku by Nathan Hotter, Crossword by Scurryfunge.

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Distractions CROSSWORD

BOGGLE

S

E

Y

E

B

H

A

T

P

Words must be at least three letters long, and cannot be proper nouns, abbreviations or contractions.

Eh: 20 Wow: 70 Wtf: 200+

SUDOKU

FUN

ACROSS 1 Arrr, there be a lookout at the top o' the mast (5,4) 6 Hold on little girl, this band had a hit with To Be With You in 1991 (2,3) 9 Someone who predicts the financial risks and impacts of future events (7) 10 Falls asleep, possibly during chat with a 9 Across... or while doing this crossword (4,3) 11 Spry spouse of Ryan Reynolds (6) 12 Lives longer (8) 14 Mean sounding drinks (cryptic) (4) 15 Dan Corbett might use this to chart the highs and lows (7,3) 18 "__ __ __ and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise" (5,2,3) 20 Lion King villain left his mark (4) 23 Spanish saint takes meat order for girl (cryptic) (8) 24 Temporarily blind while invoking admiration (6) 26 A bomb site to soak in (7) 27 The rights to have legal counsel and to remain shtum (7) 28 Moral principles from bad witches gone southwest (cryptic) (5) 29 Lizard that is a master of disguise (9)

DOWN 1 Second child of Kate and Wills (9) 2 Character from Antony and Cleopatra took home an Oscar in 2011 (7) 3 The opposite of fast food for the French (6) 4 Irish singer of Orinoco Flow earworm (4) 5 Suffering from ankyloglossia, she's at a loss for words (6-4) 6 Heidi Klum, possibly, likes to make things on a smaller scale (8) 7 Mayim Bialik sitcom of the 90s is in flower (7) 8 Gold, frankincense, and myrrh (5) 13 This clue has an open dislike of foreigners (10) 16 Repair no replica china (cryptic) (9) 17 Mesmerising, it might induce sleep (8) 19 Regarding the game, we're doing it again (7) 21 French artist considered le père de l'art moderne (7) 22 Sissy Spacek starred in this bloody 1976 horror (6) 23 Fencing sword. Ain't that the tooth! (5) 25 Stone cast in Austen novel (4)

Last Week's Answers Across: 1 Mars Attacks, 7 Bus, 9 Meads, 10 A cappella, 11 Roseneath, 12 Osaka, 13 Nudists, 15 Solo, 18 Loop, 20 Mascara, 23 Track, 24 Tic-tac-toe, 26 Enclosure, 27 Okapi, 28 Key, 29 Mike Hosking.

LITERAL MURDER

Down: 1 Membrane, 2 Rhapsody, 3 Arson, 4 Tea bags, 5 Coaches, 6 Sophocles, 7 Ballad, 8 Seaman, 14Stockholm, 16 Pastrami, 17 Catering, 19 Pot luck, 20 Macbeth, 21 Streak, 22 Patchy, 25 Atoms.

The People to Blame Editor Louise Lin Designer/Illustrator Ruby Ash News Editor Taylor Galmiche Sub Editor Sally Harper Distributor Danica Soich Chief News Reporter Shanti Mathias Feature Writers Daniel Smith Katie Meadows Faun Rice Kate Green News Writers Joanna Li, Katie Meadows, Caroline Roy, Erin Page, Thomas Campbell Section Editors Laura Somerset (Books), Tom Hall (Food) Priyanka Roy (Theatre), Josh Ellery (Music) Navneeth Nair (TV), Emma Maguire (Film) Jane Wallace (Art), Hannah Patterson (Podcast)

Centrefold Isabelle Feliu @isabellefeliu www.isabellefeliu.com Contributors Grahame Woods, James Allan, Mark Metcalfe, Liam Powell, Laura Sutherland, Emma Maguire, Courtney Powell, Alister Hughes, Marlon Drake, Jack Donovan, Shakked Noy, Winter Jones, Jade Gifford, Max Nichol, Dr. Gill Mark, Elena Beets, Peter McKenzie, Matilda Boese-Wong, Xandre Stephens, Ruben Grant, Tom Hall, Gus Mitchell, Ashley Parker, Anton Huggard, Nathan Hotter, Scurryfunge FM Station Managers Kii Small & Jazz Kane TV Producers Elise Lanigan & Lauren Spring Contributor of the Week Liam Powell Social Media fb.com/salientmagazine T: @salientmagazine I: @salientgram S: salientmag

Contact editor@salient.org.nz designer@salient.org.nz www.salient.org.nz Level 2, Student Union Building, Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington Printed By Inkwise Advertising Josephine Dawson advertising@vuwsa.org.nz 04 463 6982 About Us Salient is employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Association (VUWSA).

Salient is a proud member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association.

Complaints People with a complaint against the magazine should complain in writing to the editor at editor@salient.org.nz and then, if not satisfied with the response, to VUWSA. Read Salient online at salient.org.nz

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