Issue Ten - Freedom

MAY 21 ST 2012

ISSUE. 10

THE TEAM Editors: Asher Emanuel & Ollie Neas editor@salient.org.nz Designer: Racheal Reeves designer@salient.org.nz News Editor: Stella Blake-Kelly news@salient.org.nz Arts Editor: Adam Goodall arts@salient.org.nz Film Editor: Gerald Lee Books Editor: Kurt Barber Visual Arts Editor: Rob Kelly Theatre Editor: Neal Barber Chief Feature Writer: Elle Hunt Junior Feature Writer: Fairooz Samy Chief Reporter: Nicola Wood Chief Sub-Editor: Carlo Salizzo CONTRIBUTORS Morgan Ashworth, Luisa Avia, Kurt Barber, Ashleigh Barrett, Hilar y Beattie, Shilpa Bhim, Rachel Brandon, Rose Burrowes, Nick Cross, Richard D’Ath, Uther Dean, Martin Doyle, Harriet Farquhar, Gen Fowler, Callum Fredric, Renee Gerlich, Stephen Gilliam, William Guzzo, Ryan Hammond, Aaron Harland, Roxy Heart, Bridie Hood, Russ Kale, Sharon Lam, Molly McCarthy, Hamish McConnochie, Callum McDougal, Chris McIntyre, Hugo McKinnon, Duncan McLachlan, Panayiotis Matsis, Gus Mitchell, Phoebe Morris, Udayan Mukherjee, Catherine Nelson, Wei-Wei Ng, Livvy Nonoa, Sam Northcott, Cam Price, Will Robertson, Curwen Rolinson, Bas Suckling, Wilbur Townsend, Sophie Turner, Ian Walsh, Michael Warren.

CONTRIBUTOR OF THE WEEK: Racheal Reeves, still making things look pwitty.

CONTACT Level 2, Student Union Building Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington Phone: 04 463 6766 Email: editor@salient.org.nz ADVERTISING Contact: Mark Maguire Phone: 04 463 6982 Email: sales@vuwsa.org.nz ABOUT US Salient is produced by independent student journalists, employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of, syndicated and supported by the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Salient is funded

by Victoria University of Wellington students, through the student services levy. It is printed by Printcorp of Tauranga. Opinions expressed are not necessarily representative of those of ASPA, VUWSA, Printcorp, or Milton, David and Patri Friedman, but we at Salient are proud of our beliefs and take full responsibility for them.

"drinking must be

FUCKING GOOD WOULDN’T BOTHER or we bloody well

doing it otherwise"

OTHER Subscriptions: Too lazy to walk to uni to pick up a copy of your favourite mag? We can post them out to you for a nominal fee. $40 for Vic student, $55 for everyone else. Please send an email containing your contact details with ‘subscription’ in the subject line to editor@salient.org.nz

This issue is dedicated to

THE LITTLE LIBERTIES. 2

THIS ONE’S ON THE HOUSE, PG 26

THE FREEDOM ISSUE

THE NEWS

THE COLUMNS

VUWSA & FRIENDS

16.

A Limit To Your Love

19.

Scotland The Brave

20.

Freedom Of Mind

22.

Freedom Or Freedoom

5.

6.

7.

10.

11.

11.

36.

37.

37.

38.

38.

23.

Feeling The Thiel

24.

10 Reasons You're Not As Free As You Think

12.

13.

14.

15.

15.

39 39.

40.

40.

41.

41.

42.

43.

26.

This One's On The House

28.

Ready To Die?

News News On The March LOL Very Serious Business The Week That Wasn’t Overheard At Vic

THE ARTS 31.

32.

33.

34.

35.

Film Theatre Books Music Visual Arts

Partisan Hacks Political Porn With Hamish Mulled Whine With H.G. Beattie C.R.E.A.M Science: What's It Up To? Roxy Heart Fictional Babe Of The Week Things I Already Know But Just Need To Be Told Eat Your Fucking Greens On Campus Philosoraptor Nothin' But Net Food

EDITORIAL ▲ ◎ ◍ ✏

ASHER & OLLIE

It's that time of year. One day you walk into your dank, dark bedroom in your tooexpensive-for-what-it-is flat in the depths of some slightly-too-far-away-from-uni valley where the sun never reaches your washing line, collapse upon your bed and feel like weeping. It's bleak.

Winter's coming, and nothing is colder than your feet. Apart from your heart. The money's never there, and even when it is, it doesn't do much good. Maybe you do weep. You press your head between your hands and wonder what the fuck you are doing with your life. Trapped.

It's our third year at Vic. Our third year in Wellington. Our third year whittling down our options. We signed away five WWW.SALIENT.ORG.NZ

years of our lives to earn ourselves a little wee degree. That's five years that can't be taken back.

After a while in any place, things that once seemed liberating can instead feel imprisoning. The friends you know too well, the pleasures that have grown to habits, and the places that once were new and intriguing have not changed with you.

You make the same mistakes over and over without fail–an achievement in its own right, really.

Most of those decisions seem largely inconsequential at the time. It's only when you look back that you see those choices have dragged you to this moment, all the while politely closing doors behind you.

youtube.com/salienttv

Presidential Address Trea$urer VUWSA Ngai Tauira Bent Student Health

SALIENT ♥ YOU 4.

43.

44.

46.

47.

Dinocop Notices Letters Puzzles Radio & Gig Guide

And you can't turn back time. It's not that you'd necessarily want to, but the realisation that you are in fact as old as your years, that time is a one-way deal, and that you can be noone else but you is a frightening one.

After class this morning, Asher saw what seemed to be an eighty-year-old man in graduation robes. Now, it's possible the man was a very slow learner, but—more likely—he's just someone who does what he wants, unconstrained by the irrelevancies of age and conventions.

This was a handy reminder. You do life on life's terms, which means no time-travel and no instantaneous accumulation of wealth, friends and happiness. But that doesn't mean you're stuck. Just because you can't undo the past doesn't mean you can't very well turn around and do something entirely different tomorrow.

Most of the time that sensation of entrapment is entirely self-inflicted. That's not to say that feeling shit is all your fault—of course it's not. But neither is it the outside world trapping you in. While we cannot undo the choices we have made, we are each moment faced with new ones.

Freedom doesn't lie in what we actually do. Freedom is not about action. Freedom is about the knowledge that we can do those things if we so decide. Time is finite, but we can do with what time we do have however we please.

Remember the last time you truly felt free?

You were free back then, and you are damn well free now. You can throw down the books (dramatically, please) and walk out of this place whenever you want to.

Or you could turn up to work naked. Or something.

@salientmagazine

facebook.com/salientmagazine

TOP

10 BEST THINGS IN

LIFE  THAT ARE 

FREE ✏

CARLO SALIZZO







TEN Backflips

NINE Checkin' Out Babes

EIGHT Drawing Dicks on Stuff

SEVEN A Sense of Smell

SIX Facebook Stalking

FIVE The Free Market

FOUR Puns THREE Sleep Deprivation Hallucinations

TWO The Healing Process

ONE Moustaches







-



news

-

NEWS



HOT TIP?

Send any pertinent news leads or gossip to

news@salient.org.nz Salient never sleeps.

MAY 21 ST 2012

Rachel Brandon

FLY, PRETTY THINGS!

VIC STUDENTS GRADUATE, PARADE STRAIGHT TO WINZ ✏

STEPHEN GILLAM

Not even the token Wellington rainfalls could dampen the spirits of those involved in Victoria University’s mid-year graduation ceremonies, which took place last week.

A record high of 2118 graduands were capped over the five ceremonies, receiving over 88 different degrees, diplomas and certificates.

Salient was there for the Faculty of Commerce and Administration's ceremony, held at the Michael Fowler Center on Wednesday, 16 May. Graduate Amanda Chaw articulated the relief felt by herself and her fellows. “[I'm] very happy, very pleased, excited,” she said. “All the all-nighters, all the energy drinks, all finally paid off.”

Fellow graduate Aaron Baggenstos agreed.

“Four years of work finally done,” he said.

Chancellor Ian McKinnon made no attempts to conceal his pride in those who had served the University.

“The graduates are all well deserving of our congratulations... Graduation is a milestone in the life of all whose names are recorded,” he said.

“With their diverse range of skills and attributes, our graduates make a valuable contribution to New Zealand's economy and society, and I wish them every success for their future endeavours” For some, like Sumu, the sense of accomplishment was marred by the bittersweet feeling of a significant part of their lives coming to a close.

5

“I'm excited, but sad because I enjoy studying,” she said.

“It's slightly cliché, but enjoy it while it lasts, it's a really wonderful time.”

Most of those Salient spoke with expressed an intention to head overseas at some point in their careers, enticed either by the promise of higher wages or new experiences.

Matt Wilson returned briefly to New Zealand for the ceremony, having worked in Australia for six months.

“It's all a big flashback. I got a job two days after my final exam, so credit goes to Vic. They've been great.”

Mr Baggenstos had final parting words for current undergraduate students.

“Just keep going.”

-

news

-

GOVT TACKLES TROLL PROBLEM INTERNET STILL A CRUEL PLACE THE WORLD THIS WEEK ☛☛ Ethnic minorities now make up more than half of all children born in the US, reflecting serious transformation to the makeup of the American populace. The term ‘ethnic minority’ now seems a little awkward. ☛☛ Two paralysed patients succeed in controlling a robotic arm using only the power of their thoughts–and a little tiny sensor chip in their brains.

My friends, the future is here and it’s even better than in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. ☛☛ Former News of the World Chief Executive Rebekah Brooks is ‘baffled’ by charges of obstructing justice following the disappearance of seven boxes of paperwork and a number of computers from the now-defunct newspaper’s offices. Brooks’ husband claims that the charges are a “witchhunt”; Salient agrees that Brooks is indeed a witch. ☛☛ Francois Hollande meets with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, nearly immediately after being sworn in as President of France in a suitably austere Parisian ceremony. Like a stale croissant, the relationship between the two is purported to be flaky. ☛☛ And so Greece have their elections and it’s a total clusterfuck with everyone voting for everyone and no one having any idea whatsoever what’s happening in the voting booth and it’s all very distressing really. The Eurozone is going to Hell. ☛☛ A 26-year-old Queenstown man is arrested for swinging from light-fitting in the smoking area at Cowboys bar. The light is torn from its fixture.

✏

LUISA AVIA

The Government is taking rapid action to stop cyber-bullying as concerns have been rising over its potentially fatal effects on New Zealand youth. As current legislation fails to cover the digital age, The Law Commission have been asked to develop new rules to fight growing problem.

Minister of Justice Judith Collins last week told the Commision to look at possible measures to reduce the harm of cyberbullying, as part of its wider report into new media, asking them to treat it “as a priority.”

"The bullying issue ... is an extremely fastmoving issue, and as we know, 10 years ago, who had Facebook and Twitter?”

Collins said.

"It has got to the stage for young people —they in particular are most prone to it—where people can put things on the internet, and it's there forever."

The report’s initial recommendations said that a tough stance should be taken,

with incitement to suicide being treated as a criminal offence. New offences of malicious online impersonation and the online publishing of intimate photos were also recommended.

Also included was the amendment of the Harassment, Telecommunications and Humans Rights Act, to apply to cyberspace, and the introduction of a new media regulator to replace the Press Council and the Broadcasting Standards Authority.

Collins said the Government is currently speeding up efforts to make these propositions a legal reality and expects the report to be completed next month.

"I think it's very important that we do get on to this because, as we know, youth suicide is a major issue,” she said.

Connections have been made by coroners between cyber-bullying and New Zealand’s high rate of youth suicide, the world’s highest for males aged 15-24.

[PUBLIC] SAGA ENDS

PRESIDENT APOLOGISES FOR QUEER OFFICER ✏

IAN WALSH

The claim of homophobia which caused a social media storm last month has seen VUWSA President Bridie Hood issue a public apology for the part Queer Officer, Genevieve Fowler, played in the [public] bar fiasco.

The apology comes after the withdrawal of a compliant to the Human Rights Commission by two Victoria students, aggrieved at being asked to leave [public] bar in Wellington after indulging in inappropriate behaviour.

President Hood believes that Fowler’s involvement with the complaint against 6

[public] bar was not malicious and was an attempt to act in the best interests of the students she represented. Hood admits that the ensuing media frenzy was “regrettable” and that there were “errors of judgement”.

The President hopes to put the highly publicized issue behind her has said that she stands by her Queer Officer with the continuing work she does to promote and raise awareness of queer issues both on campus and in the wider community.

The President's full apology can be found at vuwsa.org.nz.

-

news

-

STUDENT REPS FACE AXE JOYCE CHOPS IT LIKE IT’S HOT.

✏

SHILPA BHIM

Compulsory student representation could be removed from university councils following a government led review.

Tertiary Education Minister, Steven Joyce says that university councils are too big; “They’re potentially a bit large and unwieldy”.

Work has already begun on a review of the country’s eight university councils. ''I want to see the universities take a more entrepreneurial approach. We need them to step up and take advantage of some of these opportunities,'' Joyce said.

Governance of the country's polytechnics had already been reformed, which had turned around academic and financial performance in that sector, he said.

However, the Tertiary Education Union (TEU) believes that government reforms will harm the independence and academic freedom of university councils.

The TEU has set up the online Petition ‘Keep our university councils democratic’.

They say that reforms of polytechnic councils led to the removal of staff, student, union and iwi representatives.

TEU national president Dr Sandra Grey warns that reforming university councils could lead to the same sort of waste and bureaucracy that similar reforms created in polytechnics.

"Why would the government want to replace diverse, democratically elected people who have a range of skills and a passion for their local university, with a more expensive, less diverse team of ministerially-appointed bureaucrats?" Grey said.

Labour spokesperson for Tertiary Education, Grant Robertson believes that reducing the size of university councils is bad news for students.

“When National took the axe to Polytechnic Councils last term, it was students and community members who got the chop. It will likely be the same for universities,” Robertson said.

“The approach to reforms reflected an “accountant’s eye, seeing the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

“Universities are not simply sausage factories pumping out products. They are an important part of our democratic society, supporting accountability and transparency.”

Joyce announced last week that the May 24 Budget would include a review of university councils, as well as reforms to the student loan repayment rate and the student allowance eligibility, and a review of the Performance Based Research Fund.

The TEU’s petition can be found at teu. ac.nz

LOL SOMEONE REALLY WANTS TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND, IT AIN'T WORTH THE PAIN ✏

MOLLY M c CARTHY

Australian university student Rose AshtonWeir has taken legal action against her former high school because she failed to attain grades high enough to allow her entry into law school.

Ashton-Weir, who is currently enrolled in a double degree in arts and sciences, claims that it's because of the inadequate

academic support provided by Geelong Grammar that she failed to attain the necessary grades.

The school's lawyer claims that AshtonWeir often failed to turn up to classes and hand in work. She left the school to live with her mother after contracting glandular fever.

7

Although Ashton-Weir's grades bar her from entry into the University of Sydney's school of law, she would still be able to study law at a less prestigious institution.

Or indeed, in New Zealand, where a simple pass is all you need to become a Grant Morris protege.

In addition, Ashton-Weir's mother is seeking $450,000 in damages for lost income from her chocolate-flavoured fortune cookie business, which she stopped in order to care for her daughter once Ashton-Weir left Geelong Grammar.

-

news

-

VOMFEST AT WEIR

THE QUESTION REMAINS: WHO’S POISONING THEIR FOOD? ✏

WEI-WEI NG

A dodgy hostel meal resulted in at least five residents being struck down by food poisoning at Weir House last week. The offending chicken curry, described as “orangey in colour, also contained some unidentified vegetables [and] slightly spicy”, caused up to ten residents to be in “very, very poor form,” according to an anonymous tip-off via Twitter.

One resident said that those affected had been placed in “isolation” and had to have all their meals brought up to them.

Another resident reported that those with “upset tummies” had to use the communal loos more often, with one student visiting the toilet up to four times in one day.

A residential advisor at Weir House claimed to have only found out about the incident by someone asking her if “she’d had a shitty day.” She was, however, fortunate enough to avoid contamination by having “not eaten the chicken.”

Curry makes a more than regular appearance on the Weir House menu, and the number of affected residents may have been increased by the fact that the meal was apparently “served for both lunch and dinner."

All of the affected residents were expected to make a full recovery.

Tales of hostel meal disasters are not isolated to Weir. Salient spoke to a second-year student who regaled a night of culinary horror at Te Puni, an experience tragically common among first years... “well, there was a new head chef and one night the pasta in the lasagne wasn't cooked then the next night the two options were chicken and lamb, the chicken was served and it bled onto the rice it was being served with haha. it got recalled like half an hour into dinner and cooked again but the lamb was raw too. so everyone became vegos for the night hah..they then said to make up for it they would give us "treats" in study week. which i am pretty sure they were meant to do anyway. said treats would be like a gummy jet airplane in a bag ha (single one!).”

SOUTHERN EXORCISM WHO YOU GONNA CALL?

✏

CALLUM FREDRIC, CRITIC

Residents at an Otago University hall have been sleeping with the lights on and sharing rooms after multiple sightings of a ghost known as the “Grey Lady”.

At 1am on Tuesday May 8 two female Cumberland students encountered the ghost as they made their way to a laundry on the college’s first floor.

According to a resident, the students “smelled something weird and turned around, and saw this massive figure in the middle of the hallway. It was dark, and glowing at the bottom.”

There have reportedly been “multiple sightings” of the ghost, including by “the

kitchen staff and at least one RA”.

The story of the ghost of the Grey Lady derives from a tragedy rumoured to have taken place at Hayward College in its previous role as a maternity hospital.

According to local legend, a young mother died at the hospital soon after her baby was taken from her due to her being deemed an unfit mother. The woman’s ghost continued to haunt the nurse who removed the baby, who lived next door at Cumberland, which was then a residence for nurses.

In an attempt to restore calm among residents amidst the “hysteria”, Cumberland College called in some 8

outside talent. University Chaplain Reverend Greg Hughson and a local kaumātua visited the College to lead a prayer and bless both the area and freshers of Cumberland, in order to “reaffirm the presence of God” in the College. Speaking to Critic, Hughson stressed that this was not, repeat not, an exorcism.

Pranksters have been taking advantage of the climate of fear by “fucking with people, rattling doorknobs and stuff, trying to freak people out. It’s working pretty well,” said a Cumberland resident.

This is reportedly the third time Reverend Hughson has dealt with ghosts during his time as Chaplain.

-

news

-

QUEER THE NIGHT

POPULATION PLUMMETS EVERY SPERM IS SACRED. ✏

"THE ONLY VIOLENCE I CONDONE HAS A SAFE WORD" ✏

MOLLY M c CARTHY

Crowds marched from the waterfront to Cuba Mall to show their opposition to violence against queer communities in a recent protest.

Over 200 people, many of whom were students, attended the second annual Queer the Night march on Friday 11th May. “We're opposing all forms of oppression, but in particular we're challenging homophobic, biphobic and transphobic,” explained Kassie Hartendorp, spokesperson for advocacy group the Queer Avengers who organised the march.

Protestors recited a number of chants, including: “2, 4, 6, 8—don't be sure your kids are straight!”

Placards were adorned with a range of messages from serious—Don't stand by while queer kids die—to humorous—The only violence I condone has a safe word.

The first Queer the Night in 2011 was in response to a spate of violent attacks in the capital. This year's march was in support of Pink Shirt Day, where people are encouraged to wear pink shirts on May 18th to show they oppose homophobic bullying in schools.

A recent [US] study found that young people who do not conform to gender norms are targeted for psychological, physical and emotional abuse which has

life-long consequences, including posttraumatic stress disorder.

The event took place in the wake of United States President Barack Obama's personal endorsement of equal marriage rights for same-sex couples.

Some students capitalised on the prominence of the issue in the media and used the march to encourage a push for marriage equality in New Zealand at the march.

“A stranger on Cuba Street hugged me when I handed him a marriage equality flier. The support was fantastic,” said Victoria University student Angus.

The flyers urged people to go to a new website­—marriageequality.co.nz—where they could send a message to Prime Minister John Key urging him to support marriage equality.

Key's initial response to Obama's announcement had been that he did not think there was any “clamour” for law change in New Zealand. He has since changed his rhetoric around the issue, saying he wants “debate”.

Both the Labour Party and the Green Party had full legal equality for same-sex couples as policies for the 2011 General Election.

9

SHILPA BHIM

Population growth has fallen to its lowest rate in more than a decade.

At a growth rate of 0.6 per cent, it’s the lowest it has been since March 2001, when the growth rate was at an increase of 0.5 per cent.

Statistics New Zealand has put the low growth rate down to a combination of more people leaving the country, fewer births and more deaths.

53,000 New Zealanders made a permanent move to Australia, the most popular destination for those moving, in the year to February.

Thousands more recently attended an ‘Oz Jobs Expo’ in Auckland.

Labour leader David Shearer said that the expo exemplified that many New Zealanders saw better opportunities for their future in Australia.

“This again highlights the Government's utter failure to grow the economy and create jobs," Shearer said.

However, Prime Minister John Key is staying positive about the future and believes his Government’s budget will increase economic growth.

"The Budget documents will show that we're likely to experience what I'd describe as reasonably robust levels of growth in 2013-2014,” Key said.

QUEER LAW: ▴▴

Sex between two consenting males was an offence under the Crimes Act until 1986. Both ACT MP John Banks, and current Speaker Lockwood Smith voted against its decriminalisation.

▴▴

Discrimination based on sexual orientation is prohibited under the Human Rights Act 1993.

▴▴

Though figures are declining, in 2006 57 per cent of still felt that queer New Zealanders were subject to a “great deal” or “some” discrimination.

▴▴

7.8 per cent of young New Zealanders are non-heterosexual (attracted to samesex, both sexes, not sure or neither)

▴▴

On average there are just under 400 Civil Unions, compared to about 23,000 marriages per year

-

news

-

PROVEN: TOO DRUNK FOR DEMOCRACY HIPSTERS MISERABLE VUWSA FAILS TO HOLD TE PUNI'S HAIR BACK

✏

HAPPINESS TOO LAMESTREAM ANYWAY. ✏

JANE NELSON

A Victoria PhD student has confirmed that the reason hipsters are miserable is because they are hipsters.

PhD researcher Dr Erica Chadwick found that the way people act when they’re happy has an effect on their overall mental wellbeing.

The three-year study, which looked at just under 2000 New Zealanders, found that people have different strategies for how they manage minor everyday positive events that make up life.

These varied from actively boosting feelings through physical actions, such as celebratory jumping or self congratulatory high-fives, to more subtle strategies such as ‘living in the moment’ and ‘savouring a meal’.

So what impact does this have on hipsters?

Chardwick found that dampening or “keeping things low key” had a negative effect on mental wellbeing. So that sad look a hipster casts from behind their decaf short black, well, it’s not doing them any good.

Chadwick also found that young people realising that a happy moment would one day make a fond memory to enjoy in the future (so they remember it) was beneficial to their overall mental health.

Salient is uncertain whether it would be beneficial to our mental well-being to make a point of remembering our weekend. Even if we could remember it.

The message to hipsters: put some socks on, roll up your trousers, smack a smile on and give yourself a high-five.

LUISA AVIA

VUWSA remains optimistic in its ability to fight for students’ right to party, despite poor attendance at a consultation meeting held for Te Puni Village residents hoping to challenge recent changes to their quiet hours.

As reported in last week's Salient, many residents at the student accommodation complex are upset about a recent directive from Village management to change quiet hours to 10pm throughout the week. This change was made without prior consultation with residents, forcing students out of the building at 10pm instead of 11.30pm on Friday and Saturday nights if they wished to continue partying.

Following complaints from residents, VUWSA held a consultation session for students, with the aim of getting “a better deal” from Village management. Despite 81 listed as attending on the event's Facebook page, only ten residents turned up to the meeting, held at 4.30pm on a Friday afternoon.

One student spoken to by Salient speculated that many residents would probably be too busy getting “drunk enough” to leave for town at 10pm, however VUWSA executive member Reed

Fleming identified a more serious reason for low attendance.

“Admittedly attendance was less than we had hoped for, however residents in attendance noted that a number of their peers were afraid of attending for fear of the response they would get from their RA or management for taking part,” said Fleming.

Following the meeting, an online survey was created to allow students to submit anonymously. When Salient went to print, VUWSA had received 87 responses, 76 per cent of which opposed the changes, and 84 per cent believed the level of consultation was inadequate. Of the 12 per cent of respondents who were in favour of the changes, many cited disruptions to sleep or study as their reasons for supporting the decision.

This information will be used by VUWSA as the basis of a submission to be presented to Te Puni Village's management.

“VUWSA hopes to be able to discuss with management the submissions from residents and negotiate with them to find a desirable outcome for both parties. If Te Puni Village are not willing to speak with VUWSA we will investigate working with

DRILL BABY DRILL DEMOCRACY WORTH LESS THAN BLACK-GOLD ✏

KURT BARBER

The Government is set to go ahead with plans to drill for oil off Wellington’s southeast coast, despite a lack of consultation and concerns over possible environmental disasters.

It’s about to call for competitive tenders on two blocks in the Pegasus Basin, south of Wairarapa. As the basin is more than 12 nautical miles offshore, neither Wellington City Council nor Greater Wellington regional council have been consulted— though local Iwi groups were.

Green Party MP Gareth Hughes has condemed the decision, saying the risk of a rig blowout is too great, and that Wellingtonians should have been consulted.

“Given it’s our councils who are going to be cleaning it up, and it's going to be Wellington citizens who could one day see oil washing up on our beaches, it's a big 10

deal and one that the Government should listen to the people about," he said.

Wellington Central Labour MP, Grant Robertson has echoed this, saying that the Government was hiding “behind some legal niceties.”

"It is possible for people to contact the Ministry for Economic Development and let them know their views but the Government's got a responsibility to actually consult with people,” Robertson said. The Labour party will be collecting signatures for a petition protesting the drilling.

Exploration permits would allow for deepsea drilling of up to 2750 metres in places.

For comparison, Deepwater Horizon in the Gulf of Mexico was 1500 metres and the deepest well off the Taranaki coast was 120 metres.

-

news

-

OVERHEARD AT VIC

OVERHEARD AT TE ARO:

Lecturer1: Have you seen that Overheard @ Vic page on facebook?

Lecturer2: Yeah, I’ve been checking it to see if any of the shit I talk has been posted.

Lecturer1:Hahaha SAME! Sinead Jephson OVERSEEN DURING ACCY130 LECTURE:

Guy evolving his level 43 Dragonaire into a Dragonite.

Luke O’Dwyer OVERHEARD IN ENGL 117 TUTORIAL:

Student: Did we all pass the test?

Tutor: No, that’s what I need to talk to you about.

Different student (joking): In fact, none of you passed the test.

Tutor: . . . Well, I’m glad you saved me the bother.

OVERHEARD AT BUS STOP:

Girl asks guy: “excuse me but where abouts is wellington street? im trying to get to the station (pointing up at the sign with wellington st the next bus)” Guy: “um....i think “wellington st” means wellington station” Josh Boyack OVERHEARD @ TE ARO:

“You’re at uni?? Why aren’t you at home playing Diablo III?” Guy reveals t-shirt which reads “I’m only here because my server is down” “Oh...”

Rachel Hockin OVERHEARD IN GEOG216

Lecturer: “There are two types of slums...

Slums of hope and slums of despair...

Students live in slums of hope.”

Millie Montague OVERHEARD @ LIBRARY:

Guy: I eat a lot of cheese.

Girl: Did you know eating cheese before bed gives you wet dreams?

Guy: ahh.... yeah.... wet dreams are weird.... *awkward silence Daniel Robert Whitton OVERHEARD IN STUDENT UNION:

Girl 1: Oh my God I’m pregnant.

Girl 2: Is it big?

Girl 1: Yeah.

Girl 2: Whose is is?

Girl 1: My Mum’s.

Kate Jones OVERHEARD ON OVERBRIDGE:

Girl sees her friend crying: "Emily, why are you crying?"

Emily: "I'm thinking about the last episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel get back together."

Mikayla Webster Email snippets of Vic life to overheard@salient.org.nz, or find overheard@vic on Facebook.

STUDENT CONTINUES TO PROCRASTINATE DESPITE ABUSIVE TEXT MESSAGES FROM FUTURE SELF. ✏

HUGO M c KINNON

This week Salient is reporting that last week the ability to send text messages through time was discovered to have been invented sometime in the next week.

The discovery was made by Victoria University Student Aaron McCoy who has an essay due this afternoon.

Last Monday McCoy received a message from his future self in which he told himself, “Hey man, so like, I know you have a whole week to write and it and everything, but I reckon you you should start your essay today since you didn’t get it in on time and I’m really stressing out right now.

Thanks dude.”

McCoy of the past seemed unphased commenting “Why would I tell myself I have a whole week to do my essay? I knew that already, so why would I start now? I could start tomorrow and still have like six days.”

By Thursday the messages began taking a more aggressive tone.

“Seriously man what the hell is your problem? Just get on with it you dick.”

McCoy of the past claimed it was a well 11

known fact he could totally write an essay over a weekend.

“Jesus Christ. Look, I know you told Salient you could complete an essay in two days. I know because I was there. But a well known fact? You did it once. Wow look at you, what a big man. I know you can’t do it this time because you didn’t.” said McCoy of the future.

The discovery has generated concern over whether there is a risk of McCoy creating a time paradox if he listens to the messages and manages to hand his essay in on time, thus negating the need to have ever left the messages in the first place.

But time travel theorist Emmet Fry assured Salient that “there was absolutely no danger whatsoever of McCoy actually taking his own advice and starting his assignment before it’s due.”

After receiving a text message on Saturday that read “Holy shit, are you as dumb as I think you are?”, McCoy contacted 2degrees and attempted to block his own number.

As of this morning, the last message McCoy had received simply said “Fuck you.”

-

NZ FIRST NZ First Youth believes the actual issue people want to see action on is worrying levels of public intoxication across all levels, and feel that a simple increase in the age of purchase will do little to crack down on, say, 24 year old binge drinkers. We would like to see the return to the statute-books of a Drunk & Disorderly offence, and believe the public punitive examples made of dangerous intoxication will be instrumental in affecting the much-debated culture change. On the other hand, if the age for on-licenses does go up, we expect that the quality of live gigs and entertainment will increase to at least pre-1998 levels.

columns

-

ACT ON CAMPUS ACT on Campus is vehemently opposed to raising the purchase age of alcohol, whether it be in the form of a split age or not. We believe as citizens we deserve the right of any other adult to purchase alcohol from restaurants, bars, supermarkets and other retail outlets. Our organisation is a strong supporter of Keep It 18, a group that disagrees with the Government’s proposal to increase the purchase age to 20 at liquor stores and supermarkets. ▷Michael Warren

▷Curwen Rolinson

SALIENT ASKED,

PAR TI S A N

“Do you support the proposed change to the drinking age? If not, what will your youth wing do if the changes are implemented?”

THE HACKS RESPOND...

VIC LABOUR VicLabour is absolutely committed to keeping the drinking age at 18. The proposed law change is an ineffective solution which unfairly scapegoats 18 and 19 year olds for a problem that is caused by all New Zealanders. If the law change is successful, VicLabour will continue to advocate for an 18 purchase age. This issue could return under the next parliament so it is important to keep Kiwis and MPs aware of the injustice it would cause. ▷ Lydia ‘Scrumpy4every1’ McKinnon

GREENS AT VIC

VIC NATS

We need to address alcohol as a social problem, not a youth problem. Scapegoating young people is simply not going to solve the wider issue.

While all the youth wings support keeping it 18, the Green Party is the only party to have specific policy in favour of retaining the drinking age at 18. If the age is raised? We will campaign for sensible alcohol policy, and this policy would be implemented were we in Government.

Yes. The VicNats have been an active lobbyist in the ‘Keep it 18’ campaign since early 2006. We will continue to lobby and support the freedom and rights of 18 year olds to keep doing so.

▷Harriet Farquar

12

▷Christian Hermansen

-

columns

-

CULT-LIKE YOUTH WINGS IN VOGUE ✏ HAMISH M c CONNOCHIE If you’re the observant type, you would have probably noticed most of our Parliamentary parties have a “youth wing” with some sort of presence on campus.

Their calling card is the single coloured t-shirt which features a party motto or logo brandished across the chest. Ranging from the “I’M A KEY PERSON” Young Nats to Young Labour’s “The Goff Father”, it’s surprising that these fine examples of New Zealand fashion didn’t make it to the “disaster” that was Wellington Fashion week (quote marks mean that someone else said it, not me).

Lately, they’ve been generating themselves a bit of publicity through a joint effort to “Keep It 18”; ACT on Campus even got their own story on 3News after they announced they would not campaign for any candidate who won’t “Keep It 18”.

Greens, ACT, Labour and National are all united over a joint effort to protect your right to purchase alcohol from an offlicence.

But who are these people who join the Youth Wings, and what do they even achieve? I did some Facebook stalking and came across some photos; In one are the Young Nats and, in the other, Young Labour. Both appear to be failed X-Factor contestants, due to an inadequate number of members. The Young Nats were one short of being a

boy band, whilst Young Labour needed another to be New Zealand’s answer to SClub-7.

went on to specifically cite gay marriage as a policy they would push for, due to its support from other youth wings.

Every time John Banks was filmed campaigning in Epsom, he was accompanied by an ACT on Campus phalanx of “killer bees”. Yet despite the hard work they put in for him during the campaign, there’s the potential he will take away their right to buy a drink.

Personally, I struggle to see what youth wings achieve. Although, to be fair, a new $62 million mental health policy, mainly aimed at 12–17 year olds, was developed following calls by the Young Nats.

Despite all their hard work on the campaign, getting out and sign waving, door knocking, pamphlet dropping and spending long hours doing the tasks no one else would do, they appear to get nothing in terms of substantial policy in return–particularly those who are part of the Young Nats and ACT on Campus.

Likewise, it appears that the Young Nats will have their hard work unrewarded.

They travelled around the North Island on a bus for a week, which one member described to me as being “disgusting” and “filthy” after only a few days. They would get out at every stop and clap John Key getting on and off the bus (see this video for example http://bit.ly/Kd4YPV–it makes Key look good for the cameras).

I recall talking to one Young Nat in early December after the election. He informed be that Key was grateful fortheir work and that they would have some “klout” in pushing through policy they wanted. He 13

Yet despite this apparent “klout”, we’re having a vote on raising the drinking age and there is “no clamour” for gay marriage in New Zealand. As one member of Young Labour told me, the Government is increasingly passing, or atleast proposing, policy which makes New Zealand a less attractive place for young people to stay and work in.

Beyond that though, it seems to be that the youth wings are simply glorified political party fan clubs populated by people who want to be politicians. People who want to actually achieve things operate outside the youth wing structure.

James Sleep is New Zealand’s most successful young political activist, regularly in the media. Yet he’s not part of Young Labour.

Probably because he wants to do more than just be a fan-boy.

HAMISH IS GENERALLY WRONG. TELL HIM WHY ON TWITTER: @MISHVIEWS

-

columns

-

SOMETHING ACTUALLY CRAP DID HAPPEN TO ME ONCE I went to a comedy show recently where the material centred on the dude’s mother having a degenerative disease. It was funny. I laughed a lot. On my walk home, I started thinking that the only objectively bad thing that’s ever happened to me was when I was fourteen and my mother was treated for breast cancer. Here we go.

The first I learned of this unwelcome encumbrance on my otherwise mundane adolescence (I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make this about me, but there you have it) was when I was at school camp, getting “life experience”–which, to ruin the surprise, means “being badly navigated by an ADHD instructor while eating miscellaneous oaten snacks and having that one girl demonstrate superior hand job technique on a cabin bedpost.” I cried a lot, although that may have just been in sympathy with her RSI. I felt vaguely better the next day when another girl in my group thought that there was a man with a chainsaw coming after her. It turned out to be her electric toothbrush on in her bag.

She is at Oxford now. It takes all sorts.

So a couple of weeks after I got home from gaining “life experience”, my mama had some surgery. Women around town (in the housewife rather than the prostitute sense) made a roster to cook for us. Someone made filo. Obviously, I construed this effort as a pass at my father. Mum started treatment a while later. She lost her hair.

We called her Baldy. She got gifted breastshaped equivalents of fuzzy dice to hang in the car. I reminded her of the practical dangers and possible illegality of fuzzy dice. It was great.

father a shirt and make my brothers lunch while trying to write an English essay.

(Then: Halle Berry. Now: Sid from Skins.

This power of imagination is the difference between fourteen and twenty year old me.)

Sadness and lols are only slightly compatible. I didn’t consider that when my mum went into remission she would (a) show all my friends her breasts to their latent discomfort, (b) join a breast cancer survivors’ dragonboating team or (c) make a nude calendar with said team. They’re $10–go on, it’s only May. But she has done all of these things, and I’m surprisingly grateful. Admittedly, I occasionally get the

Humour proved a fairly effective way for dealing with what was unmistakably a Shit Time. ‘Humour’ here is used in "MUM STARTED TREATMENT A WHILE LATER. SHE LOST HER the loosest sense HAIR. WE CALLED HER BALDY. SHE GOT GIFTED BREASTof the word, SHAPED EQUIVALENTS OF FUZZY DICE TO HANG IN THE CAR." given that in writing this I recall a large number of photos taken of proverbial hairy eyeball when she offers our family dog in my mother’s wig. I am anything less than a stellar anecdote and ashamed to admit that I did at one stage I tell her to “pipe down, it was ages ago consider who would play me in the movie and it was stage one.” (What?! Don’t be so of my life if my mother died and I had to sensitive. It got a laugh from Dad.) get up at five to do the washing, iron my 14

-

columns

-

CSI: GEOLOGY ✏

BAS SUCKLING

Towards the end of WW2, Japanese military scientists made use of a reliable, high speed current of air that they had discovered flowing at high altitude over their country (now called a jet stream).

They used this current to carry large balloons across the Pacific, travelling a distance of more than 8,000km in about 3 days. The balloons were equipped with incendiary and high-explosive bombs, the plan being for them to land in the United States, killing people, destroy buildings and start forest fires.

The hydrogen balloons expand and rise as they are warmed by sunlight; then fall at night as it gets cooler. The engineers devised a system to discard ballast, driven by an altimeter. When the balloon descended below an altitude of 9 km, the altimiter electrically fired a charge to cut loose sandbags. Similarly, when the balloon rose above about 11.6 km, the altimeter activated a valve to vent hydrogen. The hydrogen was also vented if the balloon’s pressure reached a critical level.

This was a pretty badass idea, but fortunately for the Americans the jet

stream doesn’t flow in a direct line.

Balloons aimed at California spread right from Alaska to Mexico. Of the ~9000 launched, only 300 were discovered in the USA, and only one caused an explosion that killed anyone (6 people on a picnic).

The Americans were mystified though.

They didn’t know the jet stream existed, and the notion that they were coming all the way from Japan seemed preposterous.

There were two theories about the source of the fire balloons. Either they were being made by Japanese in POW camps in California, or they were being launched from Japanese submarines off the coast.

In order to discover the source, sandbags recovered from the balloons were taken to the Military geology unit of the US Geological Survey. They put the boys to work, examining the chemical composition and the presence of diatoms and other microorganisms present in the sand. From their analysis, they determined that the sand was not from anywhere in America.

Neighbouring pacific islands were ruled out until finally, using information from Japanese geological publications published

WHAT'S IT UP TO? before WW2, it was determined that the sand was from Japan. They were even able to pinpoint the specific beaches the sand was from. Spy planes took photos of these beaches and discovered factories operating nearby, which were bombed by the air force.

This article is less about US foreign policy and more about how cool geology is–they were able to look at a bag of sand and tell which beach (out of any in the world) it was from.

In case you were confused: Geology ≠Geography.

MONEY AND MAULS ✏

NICK CROSS

A humble giant is on his knees. A staunch but modest beast, the 21st Century is proving too tough. The Otago Rugby Football Union is on the bench, and recovery isn’t looking good.

Rugby has always been at the heart of the South. But the sport’s governing body is deep in debt and, despite a stellar season from the Highlanders, its situation isn’t looking great.

The problem is overwhelming–the best number-boys in the game can’t get the maul rolling, and those running the show are stuck on the five metre line. The issue: nobody’s asked an economist. Of course if they did, she might well tell us to harden up, and just front the cash. But then she’d pause, and change her mind. The problem, she’d realise, is that the joy from rugby isn’t ‘excludable’. There’s no market for cultural pride; that spirit of shared victory comes for free.

She’d insist that the ORFU isn’t to blame.

We follow the game for the banter, for the thrill and, most of all, for the pride we

get in our success. We’ve never had to pay for that. The union brings in some funds through ticket sales and sponsorship. For the most, though, the joy that it gives to us, it gives to us for free.

For economists, public goods have two properties: you can’t stop people using them, and one bloke using them doesn’t stop others using them. The classic example is a lighthouse: you can hardly stop boats from seeing, and one boat’s sight doesn’t infringe on others’ sight. Similarly, the pride we get in our rugby is a public good.

Public goods are a bugger: people don’t pay for things if they don’t have to. Even if a lot of folks want something, it might not happen. I’d be happy to pitch in with the thousands of other Otago fans to support the club, but there’s no way I can foot the bill on my own, and I’ve got no reason to pay if I think that the thing will survive.

Coordination is a nightmare.

What’s the fix? Sometimes, there’s a small group who can support the club on their own–this happened with the Tasman 15

CASH RULES E

V E RY T H I N G A R O U N D M

E

Makos–and coordinating them is easier.

Other times, advertising can provide the revenue necessary. When those tactics fail, the only option is for government to step in and front the cash.

The blokes at the union are doing a thankless job, and it’s about bloody time that we thanked them. If we want the game to survive, then we need to come together and make it happen. That’ll only happen when the Government steps in and fronts the cash. It’s time we backed our boys.

fr e e dom

16

a

LI MIT to your

LOV E

✏

FAIROOZ SAMY

FORBIDDEN FRUIT FROM THE INCEST TREE

fr e e dom

17

WHEN SERGE AND CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG’S “LEMON INCEST” BURST ON TO THE MUSIC SCENE IN 1985, IT RAISED THE EYEBROWS OF EVEN THE MOST UNFLINCHING MUSIC LOVERS. THE VIDEO FEATURED A SHIRTLESS SERGE LOUNGING ON A BED, WITH HIS THEN TWELVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER (CANNES-WINNING ACTRESS CHARLOTTE) SPLAYED ON TOP OF HIM, IN NOTHING BUT A SHIRT AND UNDERWEAR. AS THEY BREATHILY (THEY ARE FRENCH) SANG ABOUT THE DISTURBINGLY INTIMATE LOVE BETWEEN AN ADULT AND HIS CHILD, THE PUBLIC WATCHED WITH OUTRAGED FASCINATION. DESPITE THE SONG REACHING NUMBER TWO ON THE FRENCH CHARTS, ITS CREEPY IMPLICATIONS WERE TO HAUNT SERGE AND CHARLOTTE FOR THE REST OF THEIR CAREERS. It might sound like a bad Jerry Springer episode, but the issues here go deeper than the attention-seeking headlines would have you believe. It’s about the freedom to love, which is deemed so universal that we don’t even consider it a right. And yet, it is. Not all love is created equal and this is why some types are made illegal. That means that the government–sometimes taking their cues from society–is free to tell you whether or not you have the right to pursue your feelings of love. If you suffer from a condition called genetic sexual attraction, your love could see you labelled a scumbag and thrown in jail.

GSA: Genetic Sexual Attraction can happen when related adults who have been separated during the critical years of their emotional development are reunited.

Because they meet as ‘strangers’, their brains “struggle to associate each other as family” and instead form an extreme emotional connection over their shared similarities and unexpected longings, all of which trigger GSA. It manifests as a need to be close to the long-lost sibling/parent physically, mentally, and emotionally which makes it difficult to separate physical attraction from familiar associations. It doesn’t always result in a sexual relationship, but more often

than not, the experience is confusing, embarrassing and exciting. Says sex therapist Robyn Salisbury, “It’s more about the sense of finding themselves in the other. The longing that can follow is such a powerful feeling. People get lost in the intensity [of being reunited] and that can translate into intimacy”. Yet, is incest the best word to describe these kinds of relationships? In his seminal 1992 study, Dr Maurice Greenberg studied 40 GSA cases, and found that those who had begun sexual relationships with their birth parents “described a sense of revulsion at the thought of sexual relations with the adoptive parent, which they felt resembled more closely an incestuous reaction.” Indeed, most GSA sufferers are adamant that they don’t see their partners as the biological relatives they are. Says an anonymous poster on a NZ GSA message board, “all we can do is pray that someday family and friends will understand that, when we met, we were strangers, that our love today is pure and not sinful”.

Because of the complicated nature of the phenomenon, Greenberg contends that GSA must be distinguished from incest, which he says is an “abhorrence” that results “when an adult abuses their responsibility and trust by taking advantage of a vulnerable and immature child”.

WHAT THE LAW SAYS: Last month, the European Court of Human Rights upheld a German ruling against consensual adult incest when a German man in his 20s began a relationship with his long-lost biological sister. Their grounds were vague and mostly based on the sanctity of the “family unit” and the “cultural history” of opposition to incest. Despite their decision, other countries have followed their own consciences. Consensual incest between adults is legal in France, Belgium, The Netherlands, Spain and Russia. Nor is it a crime in India, Israel or Turkey. Yet the rest of the globe isn’t as comfortable with incest, consensual or otherwise.

In Aotearoa, incest between parents, grandparents, or siblings is illegal and punishable by up to ten years in jail. Most of the laws against incest stem from the need to protect minors from horrific abuse, but there’s an underlying moral stance that continues to make the issue taboo.

Even without the spiritual condemnation, secular society despises incest in all its forms simply because it’s seen as disgusting and unnatural, which is a conception that doesn’t seem to be dissipating. Although incest’s ick factor has stood the test of time, it isn’t enough to sustain a legal argument that people’s rights should be quashed because their neighbours find

18

fr e e dom

“I AM IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER AND HE WITH ME—REUNITED AFTER 45 YEARS. BOTH OUR FAMILIES ARE AWARE OF SITUATION. I’M JUST BEING TOLD OVER AND OVER THAT THE RELATIONSHIP IS DOOMED TO FAILURE. HOW CAN I BELIEVE THAT? WE JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER.”

their bedroom activities unappealing. Thus, one of GSA’s biggest legal barriers is the ‘children of incest’ conundrum. Knowingly conceiving a child who may be genetically abnormal because of an inappropriate relationship is punishable by the law. But many argue that parents of children who have been adversely affected in the womb because of lifestyle factors like smoking and drinking don’t have to answer to the courts. Disabled children are born all the time, even when every precaution has been taken. Does society deny their right to exist or their parent’s right to have them?

Many supporters of GSA argue that medical testing allows for the elimination of serious defects. They also point out that the government doesn’t punish carriers of hereditary diseases or women over 40 who choose to have children, despite the high rate of congenital defects in both cases because it would be a breach of human rights. Even though incest doesn’t cause abnormalities, it significantly increases the chances of offspring inheriting recessive and undesirable traits, not to mention the identity crises and risks of passing it on to future descendents. As Dr. Alan Bittles puts it, “with close inbreeding, there is a significant increase in the probability that both partners will share one or more detrimental recessive genes, leading to a 25 per cent chance that these genes will

be expressed in each pregnancy.” Clearly, medical science won’t be petitioning to have the law changed just yet.

STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSE’S MOUTH: Surprisingly, many experts and sufferers of GSA agree that it’s a curse. Not only does it cause emotional conflict for those in the relationship, but it makes life hell for friends and family of the afflicted parties.

Despite the complications, many GSA couples say that they’re normal people who just want to be allowed to love each other without fear of legal prosecution. “I’m a normal guy,” says ‘Shawn’, an American man.”I’m in fantasy football, I fish, I do everything that they do. I’m a normal person”. Says a NZ GSA sufferer who identifies as ‘Liz’, “I am in love with my brother and he with me—reunited after 45 years. Both our families are aware of situation. I’m just being told over and over that the relationship is doomed to failure.

How can I believe that? We just want to be together.” Another, ‘Stacey’, laments the lack of help and guidance available to people in her position. “I can’t go to my doctor for help as what we’ve done is illegal. I really don’t know where to turn to”. While many GSA sufferers resolutely defend their feelings, there are few that publicly come out about their conditions.

One such person is Danielle Heaney, a Scottish mother, who left her husband after being reunited with her half-brother Nick Cameron “I still feel that I’ve found my soul mate,” she says, “and I’m not letting him go for anything”. She continues on that they “just clicked straight away.

It’s impossible to explain. I just felt drawn to him, as if he was the person I’d been waiting for all my life.” Says ‘Bob’, an American GSA sufferer in love with his long-lost half-sister, “I don’t think about [my half-sister] being my sister. She’s not my sister. I just don’t look at it that way.

She’s this wonderful, lovely, beautiful woman that I’m in love with”.

After all is said and done, we’re still left with the problem of how to handle GSA. Should it be seen as a mental disorder, the way that homosexuality used be labelled?

Do we try to warn adopted children about the risks of GSA? Or should society treat it as a choice that two consenting and fully informed adults have the right to make?

Mankind may well look back on the issue in 500 years and wonder what all the fuss was about. Until then, those affected by GSA will continue to experience legal prosecution and public shame for their forbidden love. ▲

fr e e dom

19

“...FOR AS LONG AS BUT A HUNDRED OF US REMAIN ALIVE, NEVER WILL WE ON ANY CONDITIONS BE BROUGHT UNDER ENGLISH RULE. IT IS IN TRUTH NOT FOR GLORY, NOR RICHES, NOR HONOURS THAT WE ARE FIGHTING, BUT FOR FREEDOM–FOR THAT ALONE, WHICH NO HONEST MAN GIVES UP BUT WITH LIFE ITSELF.” Declaration of Arbroath, 1320 Within the next two years, the people of Scotland will be given the opportunity to vote in a referendum that will determine the future of the country: whether or not Scotland shall remain a part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

The Union with England was not a decision made by the citizens, nor was it the result of a war. Instead, it was the consequence of the Scottish nobility’s misguided attempt to become an Imperial power. One quarter of the nation’s wealth was invested in the Darien scheme, a plan to establish a colony in Panama.

Unfortunately for the investors, Scotland’s main export good was wool, and there’s not a lot of demand for jerseys in the rainforest.

When the troubled colony was finally captured by the Spanish, the landowners and politicians who paid for the scheme found themselves with no money. Luckily for them, England was willing to bail them out–in exchange for the country. ✏ CALLUM M c DOUGAL Despite widespread discontent amongst the people (many of whom lost money in A BIT LIKE THE ARAB SPRING, BUT WITH LESS SUN the Darien scheme but never saw a penny of the compensation) and after some more Scotland, aims to hold the referendum in national past-time of telling the English to bribes were given to politicians, the deal “git tae fuck”.

2014–presumably to give the SNP time went ahead. And so, in 1707, Scotland was to campaign and increase support for With Scots so divided on the issue, there bought for £398,085 and ten shillings. independence. David Cameron, however, is only one way for the nationalists to Now, 300 years later, Scotland is wishes “to prevent the Scottish Nationalists secure victory. This secret weapon has slowly regaining sovereignty. In 1999, from setting the terms, question and been used before to great effect, and it the devolved Scottish Parliament was timing to suit themselves” by allowing can be used again. The SNP’s popularity established, allowing Scotland to regain Westminster to set the terms, question and surged in the years between the British control of its own domestic policy. In last timing to suit the Unionists. The British general elections of 1992 and 1997. Why? year’s Scottish election, the unthinkable government’s opposition to independence In 1995, Braveheart was released. The happened–the Scottish National Party can only work in the favour of the SNP. nation was united by an anti-Semitic (SNP), Scotland’s major nationalist party, While approximately only 35 per cent of Australian alcoholic’s warped version of won a majority of the seats in the Scottish Scots currently support independence, Scottish history. Almost twenty years after Parliament. Unthinkable because, like the Scots are naturally a belligerent Braveheart first graced our screens, the New Zealand, the Scottish Parliament uses and contrary people, and so whenever a time is ripe for a 3D re-release. Nothing MMP, a system under which it could unite the is (theoretically) near impossible SCOTS OF ALL POLITICAL PERSUASIONS UNITE IN THE GREAT Scottish people for one party to gain majority.

NATIONAL PAST-TIME OF TELLING THE ENGLISH TO “GIT TAE FUCK”. more than hearing One of the SNP’s election Mel Gibson’s promises was to initiate a referendum on privately-educated, rich English ponce tries strained cry of “FREEDOM!” while his the question of Scottish independence. to tell them what’s best for them, Scots of entrails appear mere inches away from our Alex Salmond, First Minister of all political persuasions unite in the great collective faces. ▲

Scotland

THE B R AVE

fr e e dom

20

freedom

mind

✏

OLLIE NEAS & ASHER EMANUEL

WHY YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO DO DRUGS IN THE SUMMER OF 1953, WHEN FRANCIS CRICK STUMBLED THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR OF HIS HOME ANNOUNCING TO HIS DEAR WIFE THAT HE HAD UNCOVERED THE DOUBLE-HELIX STRUCTURE OF DNA, HE BROUGHT ABOUT THE SINGLE GREATEST LEAP IN THE FIELD OF GENETICS IN HISTORY. AT THE TIME OF THIS EPIPHANY, HE WAS TRIPPING ON LSD.

fr e e dom

21

It was while high that ‘Lisa’ from take health as the only permissible goal in The recent Law Commission report on ‘Hataitai’ came to terms with just how life and tell us we’re irrational if we decide drug law reform came, for a fleeting blissfully insignificant her brief life is in to enjoy ourselves at the potential expense moment, close to acknowledging the relation to the vast galactic planes of the of our own health.” benefits of drug use: “surveys show that universe. And it was while sipping on a people take illicit drugs for the same This is truly a clash of worldviews. For not-quite-sharp-enough G&T that your reasons many people drink alcohol: Dunne, while he would not ban the use of correspondents finally relaxed for the week. relaxation, fun and a desire to fit in socially drugs such as alcohol, when asked whether These are all drug experiences and they are are common reasons given.” he would consider it a ‘perfect world’ if no all valuable. This value is not bound up in one chose to use mind-altering substances These reasons are acknowledged also by the contribution these moments made to of any nature, he conceded, “yes, probably.” parliamentarians. Associate Minister of society or to the story of human progress.

Health Peter Dunne told Salient that the This stands in stark contrast to the other These individuals were all directing their reasons behind an individual’s choice to world, a world that understands drug use energies at a particular end: the shaping indulge in drug use is a matter specific to as holding a place in the pursuit of the of their consciousness. It is this that is the individual, adding that “people find foremost goal of every waking moment: valuable. On reflection, this is not at all the use of all of those substances in certain the direction of one’s mind toward the different from what we do every moment settings to be relaxing and personally shaping of one’s experience. It is at this of the day. beneficial.” point appropriate to defer to Sam Harris’ For what reason do we listen to music, more eloquent affirmation of the right to Surely, that people find some worth in read novels and watch theatre, for example, the use of drugs ought be manifest in use drugs: but to create within ourselves a certain policy. University of Canterbury Senior “I can think of no political right more feeling, an emotional response that we Economics Lecturer Dr Eric Crampton fundamental than the right to peacefully would not otherwise be able to have? told Salient that, “when we’re thinking steward the contents of one’s own That very same desire compels us into the about policy, we have to weigh that consciousness.” company of friends or lovers, seeking to enjoyment against potential associated This is what is at stake in the drugs debate. feel a moment’s connection to something external harms.” outside of the self. We attend Of course however, we cannot “THEY TAKE HEALTH AS THE ONLY PERMISSIBLE GOAL IN LIFE pretend that drugs are all this very University for the purpose of changing the fabric AND TELL US WE’RE IRRATIONAL IF WE DECIDE TO ENJOY self-exploration and pleasure. of our thoughts and coming to OURSELVES AT THE POTENTIAL EXPENSE OF OUR OWN HEALTH.” They pose serious health new understandings. A way of risks, and many are highly But when we consider the legal status of feeling that we desire or hope to discover. addictive. We have to ask what policy drugs, it seems that this perspective is provides the best outcomes, and whether In a truly free society, we would never ignored when it comes time for lawour current approach of legal sanction and dream of prohibiting these activities making. Crampton says, “that people imprisonment is an appropriate response because it is clear that at their heart lies enjoy consuming recreational drugs gets to the potential harms of drug use. But this a right that is the most basic recognition left to one side in policy discussions.” is a policy question that, not only ought of people as beings born free. It is the Indeed, in the Law Commission’s report, be further explored, by one that must right to use our minds freely, to think consideration of the personal benefits of stem from a sound principled basis. First, what we want, and ultimately to shape our drug use conspicuously absent following the philosophical question of where the consciousness as we choose. their brief acknowledgement in the appropriate balance of rights is struck must This is what is at stake in the drugs debate. introduction. be settled.

‘Recreational’ drug use—as it is so often Indeed, for Dunne, these are factors As it stands, government decisions reductively called—is the exercise of one’s that should be ignored when developing apparently consider only the negative freedom to their mind. But this belief is policy. “I think it’s very dangerous actually. externalities, and never the underlying not mirrored in the law.

If policy makers cease to focus on the rights of the drug consumer to their The possession and consumption of objective and start to go for the subjective own minds. It is for that reason that, marijuana, MDMA and LSD—to […] I think there is a real risk of some regardless of the efficacy of current policy name but a few—is illegal. And there quite arbitrary and capricious decisions at affecting responsible drug use, the are no signs of this changing. In fact, being made.” government decision making calculus must governments across the world have for It is of course true that negative be considered broken. Debate is couched decades waged a ‘war on drugs’ in the hope externalities such as public health costs are in the rhetoric of victimhood with those of achieving their eradication. easier to calculate than subjective qualities who choose to take drugs reduced to the Moreover, our Government is taking such as experiential value, but that any amorphous group of ‘users’ and ‘addicts’. steps to restrict the access to currently personal value is completely disregarded, Neglected then, is any acknowledgement legal drugs, with initiatives to tighten and even considered “very dangerous”, is that there is a reason that people make liquor laws and progressively increase indicative of the Government’s contempt such decisions in the first place. We are excise taxes on tobacco. Despite the Law for the individual’s capacity to make cultured into thinking that the altering of Commission’s recommendations that the judgements about what they value. one’s consciousness by way of drugs is a law surrounding the possession of cannabis sin, not a right.

Crampton agrees. “When I take off my be relaxed, the Government has no plans economist hat and look at things instead It is time that our Government vindicated to do so. from an individual rights perspective, I’m that most fundamental of rights, our Does the Government give any appalled by what the new prohibitionists freedom of mind. ▲ consideration at all to the positive value of are up to. They have pretty much assumed drugs to the individual? away any capacity for moral agency… They

fr e e dom

22

freedom OR freedoom? ✏

GUS MITCHELL

FATAL QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE. DID YOU PICK UP SALIENT TODAY OF YOUR OWN CHOICE, OR DID YOU FEEL AN INVISIBLE STRING GUIDE YOUR HAND TO DO IT? HERE’S A QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF NEXT TIME YOU PICK UP ANYTHING, BE IT A FLYER, A FIVE DOLLAR NOTE OR A LOOKER IN A BAR: “WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?”.

Depending on personal philosophy, we either think that we live in a world where everything we do is due to our choice of actions, a universe founded on the concept of ‘free will’, or that there is a grand plan to your life and you just play your part in it, a universe founded in ‘fatalism’.

In the former case, everything we choose to do in this world comes down to us. We impose our own limits or set out to break ones set by others; you are all captains of your own ships, sailing on the everturbulent sea of chance. In the end, it’s your choice.

In the latter, the rules are not only set, but so is the game plan, and there is no deviation from it. Whatever force dictates it, be it gravity, God or the Adjustment Bureau, we cannot do anything to change 'the plan'. Even if you try to stick it to the big man upstairs and deviate, it’s already been accounted for. A few threads may come off the tapestry of fate now and then,

float away the next time you let go of it?

Taken to logical (or illogical) extremes, it’s a universe of absurdity and blind chance, where the only thing you can know is that nothing is true.

In short, too much freedom is scary and too little freedom is depressing. Either one on a cosmic scale is even worse.

“SURE, THE APPLE FELL TO THE EARTH THIS TIME, BUT WHO’S TO SAY IT WON’T JUST FLOAT AWAY THE NEXT TIME” So I propose a compromise for the sake of practicality (and sanity).

In a world based in fatalism, if you believe It can be said with certainty that every that all actions are predetermined, you event in life originates from something. have no future. Everything in your life is I surmise that that “something” is already determined for you. You cannot changeable. Not a pattern that is fixed, contradict anything because your story is but a pattern that distorts with you, like set in stone. Moreover, how would you the omnipresent blot on Rorschach’s mask feel if you knew this was the case, like Dr Manhattan, able to perceive your entire life (another trip to the Watchmen well...).

The black blot morphs with his facial all at once? What would be the point in living if you knew that your life had already expressions inside the mask, but how it manifests pattern-wise on the outside been lived for you? No wonder the good varies. doctor turned into a cyan cynic.

With some events, you feel as if you chose So is the world of free will and chance to make them happen, while others feel as any better? Not necessarily. If you believe if they were destined to have happened to chance rules the world, there would be you. You decide whether to ask your crush no pattern or order to anything. This out on a date, but fate decides if they say completely undercuts our rational beliefs yes and you stay together. The universe is in science and observation. This world the “house”, setting the rules and shuffling follows Einstein’s definition of insanity, the cards, but you play the hand you’re “doing the same thing over and over again dealt. and expecting different results”, except we know that there will always be a different And whether you believe any of this or not result. Sure, the apple fell to the earth is entirely up to you. Or is it? ▲ this time, but who’s to say it won’t just but it’s still a whole rug.

Both are appealing concepts in their own right, and they provide a degree of mental security depending on how you see your world. But there is a problem with this dichotomy. When you think about them both, each one is actually self-defeating.

fr e e dom German-born Silicon Valley Libertarian billionaire Peter Thiel is on a mission to change the world with radical ideas. But don’t expect him to do a Donald Trump and flirt with a run for political office any time soon. Thiel’s political message is simple: the masses have given up on unregulated capitalism, so those who support unregulated capitalism should give up on the masses. Who is this man, and could he affect the course of human history?

Perhaps some of you only know Thiel from his depiction in ‘The Social Network’. Thiel was the first outside investor in Facebook, making a $500,000 investment (now worth $1.7billion). The directors make their intended portrayal of Thiel perfectly clear: Dramatic and ominous music sets the scene as a young Mark Zuckerburg is told “We’re walking into the offices of a guy whose hero is Gordon Gekko”. This guy is a billionaire super-capitalist: He knows how to get very rich and if you’re lucky he’ll take you along for the ride, so don’t fuck with him.

Is Thiel just an out of touch, cold hearted rich prick? I don’t think so, but at times he hasn’t done himself a lot of favours.

It’s hard to look at the Thiel Fellowship, a scholarship which gives 20 young people $100,000 each on the condition that they drop out of college, and not see a hint of narcissism; if education was an unnecessary detour on his path to his venture capitalist riches, why would anyone else bother?

Thiel clearly has an ultra competitive streak; in 2002 whilst celebrating the sale of PayPal over a few drinks he played 10 games of chess at once. He lost one, and reportedly smashed all of the pieces off the board in anger, declaring “Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a loser.”

You have to look beyond this to see Peter Thiel the ideologue and philanthropist.

On the one hand Thiel looks to science and technology as the future of human development, and backs up his beliefs with cold hard cash. In 2006 he made his biggest ever donation—$3.5million—to the Methuselah foundation which aims to extend the human life span, potentially by hundreds of years. Thiel has also donated to the Singularity Institute for Artificial Intelligence. More broadly, Thiel continues to invest in technology start ups, he even made a $15 million investment in the New Zealand Venture Capital fund, and is part owner of New Zealand accounting software start up Xero.

Thiel channels his Libertarian beliefs to create a better society. In a controversial column penned for the Cato Institute (a Libertarian think tank) in 2009, Thiel

23

feeling the

T H IE L ✏

NICK CROSS

THE STORY OF THE WORLD’S FREEST MAN about using gold as an alternative to greenbacks, even tentatively endorsing a gold-backed Google-run currency at a recent presentation. Thiel also wants to create communities beyond the reach of government. He has supported space exploration and Seasteading (the creation of permanent, autonomous communities on the ocean), donating $850,000 to The Seasteading Institute, a charitable organisation run by Milton Friedman’s “IN 2006 HE MADE HIS BIGGEST EVER DONATION— $3.5 MILLION—TO THE METHUSELAH FOUNDATION WHICH grandson.

AIMS TO EXTEND THE HUMAN LIFE SPANS, POTENTIALLY Is Thiel’s desire to take his billions

BY HUNDREDS OF YEARS.” away from the virtual currencies incapable of being taxman how you think of freedom? controlled or manipulated by central Possibly not, but don’t forget the name bankers. More recently, he has talked because he isn’t going away. declared that “I no longer believe that freedom and democracy are compatible”, arguing that suffrage for women, among other things, had entrenched a democratic anti-freedom super majority, and that further erosion of economic freedom was inevitable. Thiel’s solution is for individuals to use technology to escape the clutches of government. One of the original aims of PayPal was to create

24 ✏

CHRIS M c INTYRE

fr e e dom

10 1. Gravity A basic freedom we think we have is freedom of movement. But, try moving off the Earth’s surface under your own power for more than a second—it’s impossible, for even the most athletic of you. Gravity ensures you’re trapped to whatever is directly beneath you, and it’s grip is pretty powerful. Only in space can you really gain true freedom of movement, but getting to space costs a shitload, so good luck with that.

2. Laws While legislature certainly protects some of your freedoms, it curtails a whole bunch more. Want to opt out of paying tax/smoke a fat jay in the privacy of your own home/gay marry/euthanise/(choose your own criminal offence)? Under the eyes of the law, you’re out of luck. How’s that for freedom?

3. Peer pressure It can be direct (“just do it, bro”) or indirect (social conventions). Despite what you might want to do, you’re probably swayed by what others want you to do, or what people might think of your actions. This is the reason why you did that thing that time—you know the one I mean, do you still have the scar/rash/ familial sense of shame?

4. Bounded rationality This means your decisions are generally irrational—you’re not able to exercise free thought effectively, due to the limits imposed by your shitty mammalian brain. Instead, you base decisions on heuristics such as stereotypes, misplaced assumptions, cognitive consistency (disregarding what doesn’t fit your beliefs and over-emphasising what does), fitting in with the group, wishful thinking, et cetera. You’re free to think what you want, but you’re probably wrong—this writer included.

5. False Consciousness Friedrich Engels was a Commie who sought to explain why Marx’s forecasted proletariat revolution had never eventuated. Basically, his theory was that people don’t realise what they’re missing.

As a result, the status quo is perpetuated through disregarding the possibility of upward social mobility. In the words of Lenin, “Open your eyes to true freedom, sheeple!”

6. Tertiary study Assignments, exams, classes, deadlines and debt. Sure, you have more freedom than you did at high school (products of Onslow College/Wellington High, please ignore), but if you really want freedom, try unemployment. If you’re taking a BA, just wait.

reasons y

NO



as free

YO

THIN

10

ns you're

OT

free as 

OU

HINK

fr e e dom

7. Your political viewpoint Your views on politics mean you’ll feel less free about half of the time, depending on who’s in power. Example: “Isn’t that [left-wing/right-wing] government terrible? Being a [leftwinger/right-winger] myself, I believe that [higher/lower taxes] would let us provide for the needs of [society as a whole/all individuals]. The best way to achieve freedom is [larger/smaller government], and a change of the current [left-wing/right-wing] administration.”

Democracy is the system which is meant to ensure your political freedoms, yet the minority have to live by the choices of the majority. Majority rule means up to 49.9 per cent of you end up less free on election night.

9. You don’t have good enough lawyers While money might not be able to buy you happiness (though that’s something I’d like investigate), it can buy you freedom. OJ Simpson managed to get off a double-murder charge AND write a book entitled If I Did It, detailing how he would have done it if he was in fact, cough, guilty. I’m going to go ahead and say that OJ purchased freedom on this one. The bottom line is, if you’re less fortunate financially chances are you won’t be as free, should you find the need to defend yourself in criminal proceedings after “one of those nights”.

25

9. Consequences Want to do something, but you’re worried about the repercussions? Fuck that! You have a biological excuse not to! (Note: police won’t buy this excuse, but you could try convincing them on the merits of the YOLO philosophy).

Luckily, if you’re under 25 the part of your brain which deals with consequences (the anterior cingulate cortex, oooh) hasn’t fully developed yet so your brain isn’t going to nag you too hard about what could happen. Once you hit 25, or thereabouts, bad luck—you’re now a slave to the reality of consequences. So make the most of your blissful ignorance while you still can!

10. Determinism Determinism is the idea that preceding events causally determine our world— every event is necessary, inevitable and unavoidable, because of what has gone before. This might go well (think Jamal winning 20 million rupees on Slumdog Millionaire) or not so well (think Jamal’s brother, or that beggar kid with no eyes).

Ultimately, determinism suggests you don’t really have free will at all. Guts. ▲

fr e e dom

26

this

ONE'S on the

HOUSE ✏

CAM PRICE

DEAR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE 120 IRRESPONSIBLE MIDDLE-AGED ELECTED MEMBERS OF NEW ZEALAND’S PARLIAMENT,

As a politician, you should know that an individual should be free to act as they please—provided it's not doing more harm than good. The Alcohol Law Reform Bill seeks to strip me of my right to enter into a mutually beneficial agreement with a piss merchant whereby he gets money and I have my insatiable thirst for liquor quenched, and where no one is made worse off as a direct result of said transaction.

This bill is inconsistent to the principles of a free society and I will not abide.

The problem with all the talk surrounding youth drinking in New Zealand is that it is dominated by a dishonest and dangerous view. Politicians seem to think that the benefits of drinking are negligible. But our habit of sipping on private stock to enhance all manner of social occasions points to a deeper truth that is left out of the ongoing conversation between you, me and the media; that the satisfaction (and therefore benefit) we receive from what the Romans so aptly called aqua vitae—the water of life—is titanic. Put simply, drinking must be fucking good or we bloody well wouldn’t bother doing it otherwise. Unfortunately for me, the sheer enjoyment I get from watching the rugby at home with the boys and some beers can’t be given a dollar value, and a good night in with mates and malts isn’t good headline material. Although these benefits are rarely articulated and impossible to quantify, they are real, they are legion and they mustn't be ignored.

You purport to recognise my right to free agency, my right to choose the option which best enables me to live out my conception of the good life. But you legislate to limit my rights.

As a politician, you know that I am in the most politically vulnerable demographic.

And yet you blame me for NZ’s culture of drinking to excess. Fuck off. Blaming a decades-old societal affection for bacchanalia on a group of people who have only been members of the drinking fraternity for a fraction of its history will not absolve you of the guilt you should feel for manufacturing and sustaining the country’s national addiction. Just look at the stats: seven years ago a comprehensive NZ study found that 439,100 people aged 20 and over were problem drinkers compared to just 25,000 people aged 1819. The $6 billion social cost of drinking is your generation’s albatross, not mine.

It’s only natural then, that a majority of the culprits (20 and overs) support a split purchase age. It means that you can avoid the far more just solution of increasing the price of alcohol, a move that would

fr e e dom equitably disincentivise all people from drinking and thus affect every single problem drinker in New Zealand. Instead, after this law is passed, you and your chums will continue to get pissed as fish without having to pay for the true costs of your drinking, patting each other on the back for ‘changing the drinking culture’ while you pretend that you’ve made one iota of difference to our culture with your beast of a law. It’s a fucking conspiracy— the problem clearly lies at your feet.

This law discriminates against responsible people like me. It discriminates against my

Johnson, could be Prime Minister one day.

Not responsible enough indeed. It was James K. Baxter who said ‘to shovel shit and eat it are different in the end’.

You may admit that there are some people my age who are most certainly responsible enough to drink, but argue that the split age is the penance we youngsters must pay for the sins of our peers. This law simply does not address the minority of us who drink and cause trouble. A quick look at the other measures proposed in the bill makes this clear: disallowing the sale of liquor between 4am and 7am (as if that’s when “DRINKING MUST BE FUCKING GOOD OR WE BLOODY WELL we’ve been getting pissed), limiting WOULDN’T BOTHER DOING IT OTHERWISE.” advertising to friends from the 9,000 strong Christchurch young people (as if a TV ad was what Student Army who were praised by PM made me start drinking) and limiting the John Key and Governor-General Sir Gerry alcohol content of RTDs (as if I can’t Mateparae alike as model, responsible drink 8 Smirnoff Ices instead of 4). This young citizens. Not responsible enough, law simply will not affect negative teenage though, to buy a bottle of bubbly to drinking behaviors because it misses the celebrate winning ANZAC of the Year areas that matter. Your misguided attempt Award, awarded by the RSA for the first to paint me and my peers as irresponsible time to non-military citizens. Key went will result in a law that only punishes the as far as saying that their leader, Sam most responsible of us. Leave me alone.

27

As a politician you should know that this law is likely to put young people in danger.

The flaw in your argument is obvious: you use the violence and bad behavior seen in town on weekends as an example of the dangers of youth drinking. And yet you attempt to solve this by denying 18 and 19 year olds the right to drink away from town, in the safe environment of our own flats surrounded by friends who care for our safety. You’re forcing us into the dangerous environment you purportedly hate! “I got so pissed at home and comaed out before I made it to town” will be replaced as a Sunday morning bon mot by “I got so pissed in town I coma-ed before I could make it home”.

How dare you put my friends at risk while trumpeting your policy keeping us safe.

As a politician, you should know all the above arguments. You should know this law will lead to outcomes ‘no civilised society can relish’. You should weigh them on your conscience when you cast its vote.

You should, but I bet you fucking won’t.

Yours, Every Single One Of The Tens of Thousands Of Responsible 18 And 19 Year Old Adult Citizens Of New Zealand ▲

,s t b e d t Studen hing matter. no laug , re an Air u o y s s e . r unl e l l o r t n o C c Traffi Trainee Air Traffic Controllers

For great money and a great life text SALIENT to 515 or visit

www.airways.co.nz/atccareers

Not sure what you’re going to be once Uni’s all over? Don’t start out with some boring job… get straight into a career as an Air Traffic Controller! Training only takes around 12 months, and once you’re qualified you’ll be earning over seventy grand a year! You’ll get heaps of leave… and have a qualification that’s internationally recognized and a professional career in one of the world’s fastest growing industries!

to see if you’ve got what it takes.

AWVU2010

fr e e dom

28

ready

TO die? ✏

ELLE HUNT

QUESTIONING THE RIGHT TO END YOUR LIFE WHILE THE CAMPAIGN TO LEGALISE VOLUNTARY EUTHANASIA HAS GAINED TRACTION IN RECENT MONTHS, SUICIDE REMAINS A SOCIAL TABOO. SALIENT CHIEF FEATURE WRITER ELLE HUNT ASKS WHETHER INDIVIDUALS SHOULD BE PERMITTED THE FREEDOM TO END THEIR LIVES. “If you drink this, you will die,” Professor Sean Davison told his 85-year-old mother Patricia, as he handed her a glass of water in which he had mixed a “good dozen” crushed morphine tablets.

Cancer-ravaged Patricia was “longing to die”, wrote Davison in the manuscript that led to his subsequent arrest. He had no other choice than to give her a choice: “What kind of sane person would keep their mother in a bedroom to rot to death?”

Davison’s frank and compassionate defense of his actions in coverage of his highprofile trial quickly established him as the face of voluntary euthanasia in both New Zealand and his adopted nation of South Africa. Though he has since returned to

fr e e dom

Cape Town after completing five months’ home detention for assisting his mother’s suicide, the debate he sparked is ongoing.

Labour MP Maryan Street is leading the charge for the law to be changed to reflect an individual’s right to die with her End of Life Choice member’s bill, a result of collaboration with the Voluntary Euthanasia Society. Her efforts were validated by a Sunday Star-Times poll earlier this month that found more than 85 per cent of the 1,000-odd respondents were in favour of legalising voluntary euthanasia.

“There is more support out in the community for this than people imagine,” Street told the Nelson Mail.

That Street’s campaign is gaining traction suggests public perceptions of voluntary euthanasia have changed; that human, emotive cases such as Davison’s have gone some way to diminish the stigma of ending the life of a dependent human being for their benefit and at their request. But this societal shift has not extended to the right of an individual to end their own life, prompting the question: how do we decide who has the right to die?

“Research has shown that a substantial majority of people have considered suicide at one time in their lives, and I mean considered it seriously,” wrote psychologist Paul G. Quinnett in Suicide: The Forever Decision.

Though suicide is not considered a criminal matter here as it is in other countries (encouraging or assisting someone to commit suicide, or killing someone in pursuance of a suicide pact, however, falls under the Crimes Act 1961), it is nonetheless a social taboo.

That’s not to imply that it is frequent; with 11 deaths occurring on average each week, it is a major public health concern. Around 540 suicides and at least 20,000 attempts occur each year, and even allowing for discrepancies in reporting, New Zealand has one of the highest rates of youth suicide of all 34 countries in the OECD. Rather, it’s not talked about. The Government has been criticised for its perceived inaction on suicide, with Community Action on Suicide Prevention Education and Research’s (CASPER) calls for a Royal Commission of Inquiry into the matter to be established so far going ignored. “The fact is, there is absolutely no sense of urgency in government about the fact that 558 people are dying a year, 11 a

week,” CASPER founder Maria Bradshaw told Fairfax Media in February. “If it was anything else, it would be a national state of emergency.”

Setting aside the question of whether treating suicide as a matter of “national... emergency” would be appropriate or desirable, in truth, New Zealand has had a national suicide prevention strategy in place since 2006. Its seven goals are intended to serve as a framework for suicide prevention efforts over the next decade, and include the promotion of mental health and wellbeing; improving the care of people experiencing mental disorders or who have attempted suicide; and reducing access to means of suicide.

According to the Ministry of Health, “its overarching aim is to reduce the rate of suicidal behaviour and its effects on the lives of New Zealanders, while taking into account that suicide affects certain groups more than others.”

But, for certain groups within society, even the existence of a national suicide prevention strategy can be seen as unwelcome interference from the state.

The argument goes that in a truly free society, if one has a right to live, one must then also have a right to die, and to do so without obstruction from others. Nietzsche succinctly expressed this viewpoint when he wrote, “There is a certain right by which we may deprive a man of life, but none by which we may deprive him of death.”

Though it is more valid as a philosophical stance than a practicable aspiration, this position is an extension of the traditional liberal or libertarian stance that a person is the rightful owner of his or her body—an argument that has been used to defend both the legalisation of abortion and the abolishment of slavery.

“To hold otherwise—to declare that society must give you permission to kill yourself—is to contradict the right to life at its root,” wrote Thomas A. Bowden of the Ayn Rand Institute for Capitalism magazine. “If you have a duty to go on living, despite your better judgment, then your life does not belong to you, and you exist by permission, not by right.”

American scholar and feminist Carolyn Heilbrun subscribed to the view that suicide was one’s moral right, and acted on this conviction in October 2003, when she was 77. At the time of her death, she was not ill, on medication or depressed; in fact, none of the traditional ‘risk factors’ for suicide were apparent. Therefore, her

29

suicide was understood by her friends and family interviewed by New York magazine to be “an act of will, an idea brought to life.

It was something she chose, by herself, for herself.”

“This is a person who was inventive and energetic and gutsy, and that same person at some point decided to stop living,” Judith Resnik, a Yale Law professor, described Heilbrun.

Though there is considerable evidence that Heilburn reached a conscious and deliberate decision, in compos mentis, to end her own life, her death will be incomprehensible to most. Very few psychiatrists will accept that a desire to attempt suicide could be anything but symptomatic of mental illness. For this reason, if a suicide attempt fails and the individual is still believe to pose a risk to his or her self, measures will be put place to prevent them from acting on their impulse.

Those who believe that suicide is a fundamental right will argue that suicide prevention is an example of the state’s coercion of an individual to remain alive against their will, and therefore in violation of the self-ownership that is intrinsic to free society. But this argument highlights the fact that the defense of one’s right to suicide must be kept within a philosophical context.

In reality, suicide prevention is an entirely necessary and moral step. Cases such as Heilbrun’s, where the individual has made a rational decision to take their own life, are by far the minority; depression and alcohol abuse are the two most significant risk factors for suicide, and neither leave someone in a position to make a reasoned judgement about whether it is better to live or die. Moreover, as every one suicide is understood to seriously affect six people, measures such as the New Zealand Government’s own national suicide prevention strategy are of utmost importance.

The right to suicide, then, must be understood to exist as a hypothesis, rather than an aspiration. If it were even possible to diminish the social stigma of suicide, doing so could render less effective measures currently in place to prevent at-risk individuals, such as those suffering from depression or alcohol dependance, from acting on impulse. Nonetheless, moves to legalise another form of elective death—voluntary euthanasia—do raise questions about life, death, and our own freedom as individuals. ▲

-

arts

YOUR STUDENTS’

-

ASSOCIATION

SCORE A GOOD DEAL ON

TEXT BOOKS | COURSE MATERIALS | ACCOMMODATION CHECK OUT THIS FREE SERVICE AT 30

-

arts

-

the film charts the sudden resurgence of the electric car and why car companies are now frantically trying to gain a foothold in the market. Narrated by the charming Tim Robbins, this should appeal to the good old environmentalist/hippie in all of us.

Intersexion - To many, the concept of intersex people is foreign, which makes this eye-opening film all the more important.

Intersexion follows Mani Mitchell, an intersex New Zealander, through

whom we discover the prejudice and misperceptions that these people constantly face. The film garnered significant acclaim during its Auckland run for its penetrating examination of what being an intersex person in modern society entails.

Aang San Suu Kyi - To many Burmese, Aang San Suu Kyi is a heroine who has bravely battled an oppressive military junta in order to defend her people. This film delves into the life of a woman whose unwavering commitment to the power of democracy has influenced so many around the world. Hopefully the film won’t devolve into hero worship, and instead attempt to paint a realistic picture of this influential woman.

Sarah Palin: You Betcha! - The product of a number of interviews with Palin’s family and friends, many critics have praised respected documentarian Nick Broomfield’s dissection of this polarising figure’s fundamentalist nature. If, like me, you despise Palin, then this looks to give you insider knowledge to back up your wild assertions.

Forerunners - Using the lives of four black middle class professionals as a microcosm for the changes after Apartheid, Forerunners attempts to uncover how the state of black South Africans has evolved (or not). If the filmmakers apply an appropriately critical eye, then this could be a brilliant expose of South Africa’s systematic societal problems.

After last year’s phenomenal 13 Assassins, Western audiences were expecting much from Takashi Miike’s next foray into the samurai genre. However, Hara Kiri: Death of a Samurai is not what many were expecting.

Instead of being an adrenaline rush, the film is more of a meditative drama, set in feudal Japan and interspersed with bouts of violence.

Despite this, Hara Kiri can, at times, be a ponderous tale which struggles to find any sort of momentum.

For a samurai film [chambara - ed.], Hara Kiri is surprisingly subversive. It follows the story of a poverty-stricken samurai seeking answers in relation to the death of his son by hara kiri (ritual suicide). As the man slowly discovers the role of a feudal lord in his son’s death, his plan of revenge slowly comes to fruition. Miike expertly takes Japanese notions of honour and gradually picks them apart, revealing a society that prides itself on rigid traditions rather than compassion.

Miike is, as ever, a master of design

and cinematography. Every shot feels painstakingly crafted, every set expertly constructed. Miike’s mastery over style is a pleasure to behold and effectively draws us into a world which appears serene on the surface, but is fraught with tension.

Unfortunately, the film quickly devolves into a celebration of style over substance.

During the middle section, Miike becomes fixated on obscure imagery to the detriment of everything else. As the camera lingers over yet another billowing curtain, the audience’s interest quickly wanes. The initial intrigue of the opening is washed away by tedium as the pace crawls to a halt.

There is no doubt that this is a visually accomplished film. Alas, too often Miike gets lost in minute details instead of focussing on the sublime narrative that he has engineered. With some more consistent pacing and tighter editing this could have been his crowning achievement.

As it stands the film is merely very good.

Directed by Takashi Miike.

DOCO EDGE FESTIVAL ✏ GERALD LEE (FILM EDITOR)

Documentary is an important genre of film, one which seeks to expose and critique, but one that the general populace does not embrace as they do others. The Documentary Edge Festival, running from May 17th to June 4th, provides an excellent opportunity for audiences to enjoy something that not only entertains, but informs. The line-up this year is fantastic, and the following films are worth your attention and your money Revenge of the Electric Car - A sequel to the eye-opening Who Killed the Electric Car,

HARI KIRI:

DEATH OF A SAMURAI ✏ GERALD LEE (FILM EDITOR)

F ILM

IT KILLS YOU IF YOU WATCH IT. FUCK YEAH

"THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" WORTH FAILING UNI TO SEE

31

MEH

th eatre

-

arts

-

WHAT'S ON ABOUT TOWN BATS Assisted Living

By Jo Randerson. Directed by Jo Randerson.

Assisted Living investigates a world where this age group is kept separate from the rest of humanity and the various issues that arise from this. Is this really the ‘ideal age’? What would the world look like with no elderly, no children, no death? And is anyone else hearing voices?

Runs 23 May to 9 June (No shows Sunday or Monday), 6:30pm. Tickets: $20/$14

QUANTUM SHEEP & ANIMAL ORCHESTRA ✏ NEAL BARBER (THEATRE EDITOR)

Guy Capper’s latest show presents us with his trademark blend of stand-up, animation and music. The theme this time round—“What is string theory?”—is mulled over by our host and pitched to a number of animated interviewees, but never quite solved. The routine progresses like a surreal television talk show, with Capper introducing his lineup of claymation guests to address the audience from outer space via a projected “internet feed” (read: prerecorded video).

The conceit is an interesting one, and the show starts promisingly with an animated prologue, featuring an amusing zen-alienguru figure who propounds hopelessly vague philosophies on the beginning of the universe. Then Capper takes the stage, and here on in the show is a mess. Capper’s performance is undisciplined and aimless.

He anchors himself to a small spot on the left-hand side of the stage and lets forth a stream-of-consciousness monologue which sounds like Spike Milligan trying his hand at Beckett. Except it’s not funny.

Nor does it sound rehearsed. Nor does it look like Capper is really trying very hard.

He sometimes elicits giggles when his rants reach a feverous pitch of absurdity, but these moments are few, and virtually disappear by the second half. It is a shame; Capper’s breakneck pace (when he’s feeling up to it) and unflinching leaps of absurd logic could provide the kernel of a truly exciting and surreal comic experience. But his lack of structure, presence, purpose, and

effort squanders the production. Those that laughed were often laughing at him. The rest, I think, were stoned.

The animated interviews are evidently the mainstay of the routine, and Capper introduces a number of the characters like old-time favourites (clearly they have appeared in previous shows). The less said about these the better. The interviews are prerecorded, but it seems Capper’s collaborators (including Jemaine Clement) suffer from the same lack of focus and, well, jokes as he does. Capper often got lost in the interviews, and the guests answered different questions to the ones he asked. The creatures rely on a Flight-ofConchords-style awkward, self-deprecating humour, but the muddy, jerky animation prevents the human empathy required to make it work. The question of string theory is neglected, revealing the show’s premise for what it is: an excuse to do more of the same, tired routine. It is telling that the prerecorded component of Capper’s show is just as uninspired as as the live one. Here is a comedian with very few ideas, and no inkling of how to present them.

Quantum Sheep and the Animal Orchestra reveals that there are greater mysteries in the universe than string theory. Guy Capper is one. His ticket prices could do with some scientific analysis too.

With soundtrack contributions by Joe Callwood, Jemaine Clement, Riki Gooch, Rosco Jones, Mike Nyland and Daniel O’Brien.

32

CIRCA Shortcut To Happiness

By Roger Hall. Directed by Ross Jolly.

This is the final week to catch this warm, charming production. “There are few shortcuts to happiness. But dancing is one of them.”

Runs until 26 May, Tuesday and Wednesday 6pm, Thursday to Saturday 8pm. Tickets: Adults $46, Students $38, <25 $25 Chekhov in Hell

By Dan Rebellato. Directed by Eleanor Bishop.

Anton Chekhov wakes from an hundredyear coma...to find himself confronted with the assaults of contemporary life in London.

Is modern society a living hell or is this view simply anachronistic nostalgia for a past that never quite existed?

Runs until 9 June, Tuesday to Saturday 7.30 pm, Sunday 4.30pm. Tickets: Adults $46, Students $38, <25 $25 DOWNSTAGE The Intricate Art of Actually Caring

By Eli Kent.

Two young men take a road-trip through New Zealand to find James K. Baxter's Jerusalem. As so often happens on such literary devices, the boys are on a mission to locate something bigger than themselves...

Runs until 28 April, Tuesday and Wednesday 6:30pm, Thursday to Saturday 8pm. Tickets: $46/$25 TE WHAEA NATIONAL DANCE AND DRAMA CENTRE On the Other Hand: The New Zealand School of Dance Coreographic Season Third-year contemporary dance students showcase 10 newly choreographed conversations through movement. Input from lighting and costume students from Toi Whakaari helps present a multifaceted theatrical experience.

Runs until 26 May, 7:30pm.Tickets: $21/$16.

-

arts

-

BO O KS

WA LL OF

NIGHT,

WA LL OF

TEXT

A DENSE INTERVIEW WITH HELEN LOWE, AUTHOR OF THE GATHERING OF THE LOST ✏ KURT BARBER (BOOKS EDITOR)

K: Your books feature characters from a wide variety of different cultures, but they all feel extremely real. What’s your process for writing so many realistic charcters?

H: Usually what happens for me is that I’ll have an idea for a character that will spark in my mind in some way. And often that initial idea of the character will have some sort of cultural ambience associated with them. That could either be ambience from the world I’ve created directly, or I’ll be thinking about some often historical permeation of our world, and the character will come with that. But after that they very much evolve in relation to what is happening in the story—the events in the story, the places in the world, what they’re encountering. You have a fundamental character, but you’re shaped by the people you know, the things that have happened to you, your environment, your beliefs, all those sorts of things, so I try and make it the same way for my characters. And when I’m talking to people in workshop situations about character I say it’s really important to think about the five senses– the point of view of the character, you’re in their skin so to speak, so they are going to have a sensual relationship to their world, in terms of what they see, what they touch, what ‘s touching them—those kinds of reactions—and that’s not just physical but also emotional and intellectual reactions as well—so that’s the process.

K: Have you ever been surprised by how a character’s reacted to a situation–or developed due to a situation?

H: Yeah, there was something in the latest book in the arc of the story that I anticipated happening in relation to the plot for quite some time, from my earliest ideas of the book and the characters; but the closer I got to that event in the second book the more I realised that it just wasn’t going to work—the reason that it wouldn’t work is that the character as he has evolved would never do something like that. I felt that people reading it wouldn’t have brought it—I wasn’t buying it myself! So I actually had to change—not the story completely, but I guess if you think of an event in the plot as being like driving on a dark road and your headlights illuminate the landscape, I had to change direction a bit and illuminate a different bit of the landscape, to stay true to the character.

K: The Wall of Night is obviously an epic fantasy series, but there’s a few sci-fi elements in there as well-like the alien Derai and the Swarm of Dark. Did that produce any unique opportunities or challenges for you?

H: I think that it’s not unprecedented in the genre. The characters do come from offworld, and they have come from some kind of space and time travel, but I don’t think that presents too many problems– 33

there’s a way that it’s happened, and all will be revealed in due course. But just as I think that some science fiction— the space opera kind of fiction—is like fantasy in space, with the science elements rather fuzzy to say the least—I think for fantasy fiction to have a few science fiction elements doesn’t present too many problems.

K: One part of the story that interests me is the five year gap between The Heir of Night and The Gathering of the Lost–George R. R. Martin had planned a similar gap in A Song of Ice and Fire, but found it too difficult to write, because he had to rely too heavily on flashbacks. Did this produce any difficulties?

H: No, it didn’t! I think that’s because that was always my vision for the story, that there would be a period between them leaving the Wall of Night world and their story being picked up in the wider world.

It kind of depends on what kind of story you’re telling, and what the focus of the story is—to me, the focus of the story is really about Malian and Kalan dealing with the Swarm and the problems within their own society. And the time that they’re away from the Wall they’re not really doing that—they’re learning interesting stuff, and going to warriors’ school and magicians' school—but it’s not really a warrior/ magicain school story—so that would have made it a really different story.

M USIC

-

arts

-

V B C 8 8 .3 F M

TOP 10 SONGS TO FIGHT

FOR YOUR

FREEDOM 1. BEASTIE BOYS FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT R.I.P. MCA.

2. FOREST SPIRITS HEY, DUMB DUMB FREEDOM

3. JURASSIC 5 FREEDOM

REVIEW: DUB FX AT BODEGA ✏ PANAYIOTSIS MATSIS

For the uninitiated, Dub FX (nee Benjamin Stanford) is a travelling street performer who uses loop stations and electronic distortion to create astounding bass lines which he, in turn, raps or sings over. The result is nothing short of excellence: with a range like Pavarotti and with beat boxing like King Homeboy, Dub FX has had crowds pumping from Amsterdam to Auckland. Held at Bodega, we were packed like sardines in nothing short of a boiler room.

The bar staff gleefully served up $10 beers on top of the steep ticket price (cheers La De Da) making it an expensive night; luckily the performances made up for it, with hard hitters like Organikismness and K-Lab warming up the crowd.

Dub FX was visibly knackered (playing 4 consecutive shows across the country), but still managed an excellent performance.

He opened with the moving 'Made', championing his triumph from being homeless on the street. His fiancé, the overshadowed Flower Fairy, followed, and really came to her own: her mash up of old nursery rhymes laid over a phat bass line is very sing-a-long-able.

My personal favourite was the guest saxophonist, local Wellingtonian Matthew

Benton (from The Thomas Olliver Band/ Black Seeds) whose unparalleled skill and improvisation meshed perfectly with Dub FX and Flower Fairy, culminating in a cascade of aural orgasm. To mix things up, the last part of the set switched into Drum n Bass and Jungle styles, and they quickly had the crowd pinging (with or without the ecstasy).

What surprised me the most was the sheer range of genres Dub FX and Flower Fairy could adopt and perform (and more importantly, perform well). We started with Hip-Hop, flowed into Dub, slid into Reggae, took a trip into Jungle and settled on Drum n Bass. In a modern electronica scene bathed in generic dubstep and pop, it was nothing short of refreshing to go back to the good old days.

Ignoring the smell, the venue and the exorbitant drink prices, Dub FX put on one hell of a show. If you like what you hear on his YouTube channel, his live performances are on a whole new level.

If/when he returns, don’t miss out: his improvisation adds a unique sound to each live set.

34

4. THE GO! TEAM VOICE YR CHOICE

5. JAI PAUL BTSTU Avaliable for free download.

6. FIRST LOVE GAME ON: A SONG FOR RICK SANTORUM

7. PAUL WILLIAMS EVERYDAY Everyday Paul chases fame, that's freedom bitches!

8. KRISPY KREME THE BADDEST Krispy Kreme has the right to beat arms, terror.

9. THE FLAMING LIPS YOSHIMI BATTLES THE PINK ROBOTS PT.1

10. RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE FREEDOM

-

arts

-

visua l a r ts triumphantly on the moon in 1969. Here the photography is mostly scientific, a tool for recording the unknown and bringing it to Earth. At the same time, however, these images of the moon capture the great mystery and magical allure that it holds for all of us, as well as its striking beauty.

DARK SKY: A REPLY ✏ MORGAN ASHWORTH

This take on the current Adam Art Gallery exhibition adopts a different perspective than the one pursued in the review published two weeks ago in issue eight. Opinions will always differ and ultimately the beauty of exhibitions such as this is that the individual visitor creates their own impression through their own interactions.

Cash, Lance, Large format digital print. 841x1189mm, 2012

In the catalogue to the Adam Art Gallery’s current exhibition, Dark Sky, Christina Barton describes the show as “setting out to blur distinctions between art, science and the popular imaginary”. This aspiration sees the show bringing together photographic history, artefacts of popular history, documentary photography,

FOR JAMES HANSEN’S GRANDCHILDREN ✏ ROB KELLY (VISUAL ARTS EDITOR) Lance Cash, Enjoy Gallery, 9 May 2012 - 2 Jun 2012

painting and contemporary artistic photography, with many works belonging to more than one of these categories and some escaping these confines altogether.

Already, it is apparent that the tidy boxes of art, science and popular culture are not so much boxes as arms of a galaxy, aspects of a whole that can be traced from a central idea.

The galaxy metaphor is fitting because it also applies to the layout of the gallery itself. The Adam’s long corridors, as well as the dark side room of the Kirk Gallery, tease out different aspects of Dark Sky. Upstairs, we follow the space race through the Upper Chartwell until America lands Enjoy is a public gallery which places its focus on showing contemporary artists to create and further artistic dialogue within Wellington. Their current offering is Lance Cash’s For James Hansen’s Grandchildren, an exhibition which blurs the lines between representational photography and heavily constructed and manipulated images. The exhibition consists of a series of prints suspended from the roof of the gallery, requiring the viewer to undertake a journey through the relatively small space in order to see each print. This curatorial technique works well as it forces the viewer to search for each image, providing teasing glimpses of further prints in the periphery.

Cash describes this exhibition as an exploration of the hydrological cycle, the system that water goes through on its transformations from one form to the next.

But the images are not direct photographs 35

Wolfgang Tillmans’ monumental photographs of the 2004 Transit of Venus are first and foremost artistic, but the subject is overwhelmingly significant both scientifically and historically. The Transit of Venus is unique as an event which can be explored so closely on these three different levels, and reveals the blurred lines between art, science and culture in photography and in life. A slice of this history is visible in the lower stairwell, where photographs taken with the process invented by Hermann Krone document his journey to the Auckland Islands to record the 1874 Transit. Artworks by New Zealand artists Colin McCahon, Ann Shelton and Stella Brennan, and British artist John Timberlake show the many trajectories of thought that Venus, outer space and the implications of humankind’s quest for celestial knowledge offer artists, and in particular New Zealanders.

Dark Sky charts our desire to locate ourselves in relation to the rest of the universe. This could be a purely scientific endeavour. But the enigma of the night sky is not something that can be answered with just numbers or measurements. And likewise, our fascination with space is not strictly for its unbounded beauty. What makes one photograph of space scientific, and another artistic? It is this question that Dark Sky poses, and, I would say, wryly refuses to answer. of different forms water can take, but are rather presented as essays on the way that digital photography can be manipulated while retaining a form of aesthetic truth.

On the opening night it was a bitterly cold evening punctuated by heavy bursts of rain which meant that the damp masses of patrons added another layer to the concept of the subject matter which Cash investigates in this series of images. Several images became quite distinctly wet around the edges which fit quite nicely into the thematic presence of the exhibition. For James Hansen’s Grandchildren is charming and extremely clever; Cash clearly knows his way around a digital image. I was left with a feeling that all the images were a bit similar, but in hindsight I think that perhaps that was Cash’s point. The images as a set create a whispering world of water which is deeply captivating, especially on a blustery Wellington evening.

-

VUWSA

&

friends

YOUR STUDENTS’

-

ASSOCIATION

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS ✏

BRIDIE HOOD

Last week I had the honour of attending all five of Victoria’s graduation ceremonies. It was such a pleasure to be able to attend these ceremonies and watch families and friends celebrate the success of their graduates. A huge congratulations to all the students who graduated, I hope you were able to take some time out to be able to celebrate with those close to you.

While last week marked a special occasion for many students, this week is unlikely to be as exciting or hopeful. This Thursday, the Government will be announcing their budget. In an attempt to bring the books back into surplus by 2015, the government is planning to present another ‘zero budget’ which is going to greatly impact on students and graduates.

In my President’s column a fortnight ago I highlighted what some of these changes are likely to be for students—a four year/200 week limit on student allowances, a four year freeze of the parental income threshold for eligibility of allowances and a 20 per cent increase in the compulsory student loan repayment rate.

While we cannot yet be sure exactly what changes the budget will hold, it is clear that the upcoming Budget will bring some of the most savage cuts to student support and access that we have seen over the last number of years.

These changes will not only lock able students out of tertiary education, but it will lock them out of Aoteroa.

The current support structures we have in place, while not universal, are vitally important for many students to be able to access tertiary education. By limiting the support that students can receive, it will also limit the types of students who will access tertiary education. We are already aware that students from low income families are more debt averse and therefore will be less likely to access tertiary study if government support is limited.

This raises worrying equity concerns.

The path to sustainable growth is through investment in a knowledge economy.

We need a system that will help all able students to succeed, not just those students whose parents are rich enough to afford it.

But not only will these changes lock able students out of accessing tertiary education, they will also lock them out of New Zealand. New Zealand has one of the harshest loan repayment schemes in the world. By increasing the compulsory repayment rate by 20 per cent, this system is about to get even harsher. In a country that is struggling to provide jobs for students and graduates, has limited postgraduate scholarships and low wages what incentive are recent graduates given to stay? Coupled with this upcoming

change, for many that ever present pull to Australia will be even more harder to resist.

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that the Government is under pressure to try and balance the books. I understand that students who have used the student loan scheme have an obligation to pay back their loans and that many graduates aren’t paying off their loan debt as quickly as the Government would like. I understand that this current economic climate means that hard decisions have to be made. However, investment in tertiary education, including student support is one of the best ways to stimulate long-term economic growth.

Students are the key to helping us emerge from this economy a brighter, smarter, stronger nation—the government should not be trying to disproportionately burden us financially, leaving us drowning in debt before we even properly begin our life journeys.

I’m angry and upset about the government’s proposed changes to student loans and allowances. If you too feel angry/distressed/fucked off then join me, VUWSA and other student groups on campus at a rally this Thursday, at 12pm in the Hunter Courtyard.

If we want our country to be successful, we need to invest in the tertiary sector and the students within in—not leave them all out to dry.

☞ UTHER DEAN ▲

36

▲

-

VUWSA

&

friends

-

OFFICER

TREA$URER VUWSA VUWSA MUST BE TAKING A TOLL ON ME. ✏

WILLIAM GUZZO

My Economics lecturer exclaimed to my classmates that I “look like I could be in the Occupy movement”. I know the entire bureaucratic lingo now–“terms of reference”, “green papers” or even “a extended review of the service delivery of our core food based activities and analysing the opinions of our key stakeholders”, commonly known as “deciding where to go to for lunch”.

But, looking back on the last five months, I am really impressed with my colleagues at VUWSA. Behind the fortress of green, there is a bunch of hardworking, dedicated students who want to see our student experience prosper. They do it without fuss, and for wages that would make Greece look like the bastion of economic prosperity. Of course, we get it wrong sometimes. We sometimes let our own personal views obstruct perhaps what is best for students. I sometimes forget to attend my Biomedical Science lectures. But which organization doesn’t have its issues?

This year, we at VUWSA are changing.

More than ever, we need you to contribute.

More than ever, we are opening our ears and trying to listen.

A big part of this consultation in through two reviews we are currently undertaking: our service review and our governance review. Our service review is all about finding out what VUWSA should be



shit

STU FF winner!

providing to continue to be financially sustainable and future-proofed. We need your say though. Our governance review is all about the way we structure the way students operate, and have their say in, VUWSA. Thus, it is vitally important we hear what you have to say.

The first round of submissions for these have now both ended but there will be a second round of consultation very soon.

This will be even more important than the first round, as these will be some direct actions VUWSA will be looking to take, so without your views, we could be doing the wrong thing by students.

The second round of submissions for the governance review will be beginning on June 11th and the second round for the service review is to be announced.

In the meantime, check out the “Out for Consultation” section of the VUWSA website. A link has been included below for your convenience.

Don’t put up with a mediocre student experience and education; empower your students’ association to be your voice.

The only way you can make your voice heard though, is by opening your mouth.

You can air your opinions to VUWSA by following the following link below: http://tinyurl.com/vuwsastudentfeedback





Last week was another shock for stuff.co.nz as they showcased their astounding skills at being terrible once again. But nothing was more bizarre than the following, which was sent to us courtesy of Taryn Meitzer:

I don’t even want to know what this article’s about.

Taryn triumphs over Stuff, and wins lunch and coffee for two at August! YAY!

If you want to win lunch and coffee for two at August, spot an instance of Stuff shitness (shouldn’t be too hard) and send it to stuffisabitshit@salient.org.nz  tweet @salientmagazine #shitstuff. ▲

37

▲

TE HUINGA TAUIRA Te Huinga Tauira is a 4-day event that is hosted annually at different Universities around the motu.

This year it is being hosted at Otago University, Dunedin, Aug 30–Sep 02.

The itinerary includes seminars, Te Mana Akonga’s AGM, sports, kapa haka, and manukorero, and is based on whanaungatanga of tauira maori in tertiary education throughout Aotearoa.

On Wednesday, from 5-6pm at the Ngāi Tauira office, there will be a hui regarding Te Huinga Tauira for all tauira Māori enrolled at Victoria University for the 2012 year. This will be an opportunity to share ideas, and ask questions, and register if you’re interested in attending.

There are a limited number of spots for the event, and as such we will be selecting people according to a criteria set by the Kōmiti Whakahaere o Ngāi Tauira.

If you are unable to attend this hui but are interested, please contact Joanna Morgan Tumuaki o Ngai Tauira at joannamorgan@ vuw.ac.nz

HOKOHOKO BARGAINS This Wednesday and Thursday, 12.30 – 1.30pm, Ngāi Tauira are operating a popup hokohoko shop from 44 KP, by the Te Herenga Waka driveway.

Ko te whakaaro nui o tēnei mahi, ka whai wā ki te kōrero i te reo Māori, he wāhi Māori tēnei. He iti noa te utu mō ēnei kākahu, engari papai rawa te āhua, ko ētahi he mea hou. He pai anō hoki ēnei hei kākahu mā ngā uiuitanga mahi, ngā hui Māori hoki.

Prices can be negotiated in Te Reo Māori otherwise items will be at a set cost.

Phrases will be made available for those who are willing to participate.

-

VUWSA

&

friends

-

CIVIL UNIONS VS. MARRIAGE ✏

GEN FOWLER

Barack Obama made history this week, becoming the first US President to openly support same-sex marriage. While the New Zealand headlines certainly reflected the world’s fascination with this game-changing statement, the comment sections told a different story. True to cynical kiwi form, the same concern persisted - ’Why bother? Don’t gays already have civil unions? What exactly is the difference?’

I had a chat with Professor of Law Bill Atkin about the technicalities of same-sex unions and the role of marriage in New Zealand Law. What exactly are the differences between a civil union and a marriage?

“Same sex couples cannot marry, obviously (and) same sex couples cannot adopt as the law stands. However, the High Court extended the old Adoption Act to de facto heterosexual couples and it is possible that

a court could in a future case do the same for civil union couples, same or opposite sex, and de facto same-sex couples. It is “watch this space”. The High Court decision expressed the view that there could be some difficulties in extending the law further but it is certainly possible.

Either way, the law is unsatisfactory.”

Would you say that marriage is an important institution, or indeed as many people have proposed, a foundational part of society?

“It has been an important legal institution in the past, especially in the days of child illegitimacy. It is still popular and plenty of people want official and public recognition for their relationships but far fewer legal consequences now flow. Illegitimacy was abolished by a law passed in 1969 and there are now few differences in law between married, civil union and de facto couples, (as enacted in 2001).”

Is there anything in to the Bill of Rights or any other legal document that supports or rejects the idea that same sex couples should be able to get married?

The anti-discrimination laws. A group is seeking a declaration of inconsistency under the Human Rights Act in relation to the Adoption Act, not just on sexual orientation grounds.

What is currently being done in Parliament to advocate for marriage equality? Are you optimistic about their potential?

I gather Louisa Wall is drafting a Bill.

Judging by Back Benchers on TV7 last night, a Bill might well succeed. On another front a number of MPs have been pressing for adoption law reform (wide reform, not just on the sexual orientation front).

Thank you for your time.

STUDENT HEALTH WHERE IS GRANDMA? ✏

CATHERINE NELSON

Recently my brother visited New Zealand with his wife and children. Natalie, my four-year-old niece, was really excited because she thought she would be able to spend time with her Grandma. At kindergarten she had heard friends talk about their Grandmothers. When anyone asked Natalie about her impending trip she would talk about when she got here she would spend time baking, reading books, making crafts and going shopping with Grandma. We all wished that this could have happened but instead we had to take Natalie to our local cemetery to show her where her Grandma is buried. When we showed Natalie Mum’s grave, Natalie asked ‘She is here?’ and went silent. Instead of the fun times she had imagined with her Grandma Natalie helped my father arrange flowers on Mum’s grave. It is a great sadness for all our family that Natalie has been unable to meet her grandmother as my mother was an amazing woman who we all loved and respected. Mum would have enjoyed being able to spend time with

Natalie. A family is richer and stronger when links spread across generations.

We should still have Mum with us but she died 15 years before she should have and before her grandchildren were born*.

Mum should still be here with us to be our matriarch, to share stories of our ancestors and history, to enjoy retirement with Dad and, well, just be there.

Mum started smoking at 21 when it was considered glamorous and sophisticated, and even portrayed insome advertisements as healthy. When mum was a young you could virtually smoke anywhere, even in hospitals and in medical centres. What started as an occasional cigarette escalated over the years and towards the end of her life she was smoking between two and half to three packets a day. Like most smokers, Mum tried to stop smoking but unfortunately was unable to. She did not have access to the support and knowledge we have today. Mum’s last two doctors were smokers and they would often be seen smoking outside the local medical centre. ▲

38

▲

The only nicotine replacement patches Mum ever had were the ones after she was admitted to hospital after a severe stroke which left her paralysed down one side of her body and unable to eat or drink without choking. Mum died a few weeks later from aspiration pneumonia.

Support is available at the Student Health Service (SHS)for people who would like to discuss or stop smoking. We can provide you with prescriptions for nicotine replacement patches, gum and lozenges, provide lots of encouragement and give you helpful tips and strategies about how to become smoke free. If you are enrolled as a patient at the SHS appointments are free.

Free support is also available from Quitline 0800 778 778 http://www.quit.org.nz/ *on average each smoker cuts short their life by 15 years. One out of every two smokers will die as a direct result of their smoking and a quarter of those will die between the ages of 35 and 69 years.

-

columns

Hiya Rox-oh, I have a bit of a situation. I’m a second year gay guy who has spent the last three months having regular sex with a really hot guy I met online. Now, when we met he was pretty upfront about being in the closet, and I didn’t really mind since it was just sex and he was really hot. The problem is, we’ve started to hang out, rather than just fuck, and it’s starting to feel like a relationship: I’ll come around and spend the day at his place, playing Xbox and watching movies and shit, and then making out and spending the night in bed. I’d be really keen to continue this, because he’s fun and funny and cool and we get on really well, but I’m not sure how to handle the fact he’s in the closet, and seems pretty determined to stay there.

Help, Roxy! ~J ♥ ♥ ♥

-

Hi J, it’s Roxy here. I want to know if your potential boyfriend has a reason for being cowardly and refusing to come out. <3 Roxy Hi Roxy, I wasn’t expecting you to email me back! Anyways, he just seems really uncomfortable with it, I think he has lots of friends who are real bros, and I think he’s worried about them. I haven’t met his parents, but they live in South Taranaki, and I guess he might be worried about them too. ~J At first blush this seems like a tricky situation: hot guy, total closet case. What should a poor queer boy do? Luckily, Roxy has a simple law transcribed in her big ol’ book of relationship laws that provides a guideline for how to deal with this problem. To wit:

THE ROXY HEART RELATIONSHIP LAWS : LAW 12

(1) It shall be expected that any queer, upon reaching the age of maturity, comes out of the closet.

(2) It is a defence to (1) that the person must stay in the closet to avoid violent or financial retribution.

(3) Any queers who rely on (2) must take all reasonable steps to extract themselves from this situation.

Roxy takes a pretty strong stance that queers have a responsibility, both to themselves and to those around them, to be open and honest about something as fundamental as their sexual identity. Thus, barring exceptional circumstances, Roxy thinks your boyfriend should come out now, and that you having a relationship with him should be conditional on that, because dating a closet case is pretty much wall-to-wall unrelenting bullshit.

See, part of being someone’s boyfriend

is the ability to go out in public without having them freak out at the mere thought of you being seen together. It is being able to actually meet their parents at some stage. It is about being able to meet their friends and actually, you know, be a part of his life. It is not about being shut away like a dirty secret. Sure, he might say and do all the right things, but you’re still going to be treated like he’s ashamed of you (which he is). So tell him to man the fuck up and get out of his closet, else you need to make it clear that it’s just fuck buddies.

So, what about the subsection (2) defences?

Well, that’s where you need to do some sleuthing. Basically, “my friends might abandon me” is not an excuse, because Roxy pretty strongly feels that friends who push you away because you’re gay are, to use a lame cliché, not really your friends at all. Family is more tricky, and often comes under the “financial” defence: if he

♥ ♥ ♥

is dependent on his parents for financial support, then he probably has an excuse not to tell them. He still should come out to everyone else, particularly if there’s little risk of news getting back to his South Taranaki parents. His workplace may be an excuse for similar reasons, if he’s a builder or a pastor or something.

Elsewise, as Roxy says, come out, out, out! And if his personal situation prevents him coming out, Roxy thinks the personal situation should be changed. Change jobs, get financial independence from the parents and come out, because if Roxy gets her way, he isn’t getting a relationship until he does. <3 Roxy.

If you have issues or concerns that you wish to discuss privately and confidentially with a professional, rather than a magazine columnist, Student Counselling Service can provide a safe place to explore such aspects of your life. The service is free and confidential. Phone 04 463 5310. Email counselling-service@vuw.ac.nz. Visit Mauri Ora, Level 1, Student Union Building.

PATRICK VERONA

FICTIONAL BABE

OF THE WEEK

✏

CARLO SALIZZO

Patrick Verona earned a reputation among other students for being a dangerous loner.

Habits including smoking and drinking at biker bars did nothing to relax his peers. He reputedly spent a year in San Quentin State Penitentiary and ate a live duck–everything but the beak and feet.

However, Verona's tough-guy exterior was destined not to last, and after a public romance with notorious “shrew” Katerina Stratford, the mysteries began to fade.

He was spotted at feminist hotspot Club Skunk, and enlisted the school band for 39

a performance of 'Can't Take My Eyes Off You'. Many of the myths about his past have since been debunked, and the modern view is that Verona's wildest exploits are more a reflection of Stratford's proud independence. Despite her going on record to say that, among other things, she “hates [his] big dumb combat boots”, their relationship managed to weather allegations of corruption, until ending shortly after graduation, when Stratford inevitably left a destitute Verona in order to attend Sarah Lawrence College.

-

columns

-

THINGS

☞

I ALREADY KNOW

PHOEBE MORRIS

BUT JUST NEED

TO BE TOLD

NOTHING I DO IS EVER AS GOOD AS IT COULD BE. PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME I HAVE POTENTIAL—WON’T THEY BE EMBARRASSED WHEN I PROVE THEM WRONG? ✏ UTHER

DEAN (CHIEF SAGE)

For a while I thought it was fine that it was jealousy that was fuelling me. That I needed the desperate urge to do as well as I perceived those around me were doing. I thought it was okay that it was the fire under my ass that got me up in the morning and got me going. (I seem to be implying that this time and thought has passed. That I am now free of the need to impress others and, much more importantly, myself. That is not the case. Obviously.)

What I already know is that jealously may be a fuel, but all the good that could come from it is burned up in the resulting inferno. What I need to be told is that to feel any kind of success, to feel any kind of achievement, it has to be done on my own terms. And I do need to be told that time and time again. It is so tempting and easy

to only motivate yourself in opposition to the world around you, to do things because they’re not what other people are doing.

We all want to be rebels. We all want to be different. Punk didn’t die; it just put on less distracting clothes.

I need to practise to make everything come from within. This is not about being steadfast or irrational or alone; it’s about trusting myself to not have to live a reactive existence. There are vastly better ways of doing things than simply seeing where something is not and saying “No”. I love and treasure my ideas, so why don’t I trust them? Why do I always have to look to the outside world for something for my ideas to fight and be better than? Why must I always forget that the distorted lens of

perception muddies any real sense or truth about what anyone else is trying to do and why they are trying to do it?

I am a critic not to tell other people how they are doing but to tell myself to be better. Even written down that seems kinda smart. Kinda the right idea. It isn’t though. All it does is hurt. All it does is build the kind of unachievable expectations within myself that I can never really achieve. All it does is sketch out for me the distant, impossible goalposts which ensure that everything I do feels like a failure.

This is ridiculous. I would never let anyone else feel the sense of disappointment about their own output that I do about mine. So, it has to change. I have to change.

There is work to be done.

To judge something’s success on anything other than its own terms is the kind of emotionally juvenile, two-dimensional thinking that has made the internet basically a no-man’s-land for any kind of actual considered thought. So, I will stop.

I will practise assessing everything I do on its own terms.

Something will be good if it has done what it wants to do, not because it has not done what other people are doing, or been considered successful by any metric beyond my control—number of views, number of tickets sold, distribution reports, retweets, reblogs, money, all more arbitrary and beyond my control than I will ever admit in person. I will believe that if something is interesting and worthwhile to me, it will be interesting and worthwhile to other people. I will stop trying to be right because I think other people are wrong. I will be right because I’m right. That will be enough.

I have spent ten columns so far telling people how to live their lives. It’s time for me to start living my own.

(Don’t worry, next week I’ll be back on to you.)

EAT YOUR FUCKING GREENS

40

-

columns

-

PROFILING ANGUS ✏

ROSE BURROWES

You may know him as the dancing guy from vicbooks, but Angus McBryde, from humble beginnings in the Deep South, but has found a new home in Wellington.

He graduated from Otago University with a Bachelor of Consumer and Applied Sciences (what he calls a wanky title for a BA) in Design Studies.

Angus then made the move to Wellington.

He was shaped by his six months of unemployment, in which he gained the title “Freelance Designer”. Since then he’s done an album cover for Subject2Change (amazing jazz funk fusion band from Dunedin made up of lecturers), designed the brand for Anghiari Arts Festival in Italy, the brand for the 2010 Otago Festival of the Arts, as well as extra stuff for mates, such as posters.

2011 saw Angus co-found a digitallydistributed contemporary non-profit music publication, which is focussed on bringing quality long-form content to New Zealanders interested in home-grown talent and perceptive music journalism (“self-promo wank, wank, wank”)—

✏

foundrymagazine.co.nz.

Angus’ band, OK; Crazy Fiction Lady, was formed at the end of 2009 with Angus’ brother and his best friend. They recorded a demo early 2010 and put it on torrent site–within a week it had taken off.

They subsequently released another three albums in 2010 on the site, and now have over 30,000 downloads! They quickly got really big crowds at their gigs in Dunedin and had a great year, gaining 2nd place in OUSA’s Battle of the Bands. The plan was for all of them to move to Wellington, but this didn’t work out for his brother, who only recently moved up. So far they’ve had two gigs at Bodega in Wellington which have gone well and they have more gigs coming up that they’re super excited about: “OMG.” When I first met Angus he was wasted at a friend’s dress-up party. I wasn’t going to pretend I didn’t get my hot-chocolateturned-mocha from him everyday, so I just started talking to him. He ran with it and started yarning about religion, time and space… his usual pick-up lines. I nodded

along, I didn’t really understand what he what he was saying, so I’m glad to have caught him (hopefully) sober.

Working at vicbooks has gotten Angus into reading again. The last fictional novel he read was Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix, which was just too slow–he gave it up when Harry was standing somewhere and just staring at magical wallpaper. So he’s turned to non-fiction– which drew his attention to human ethics and cosmology.

Reading the likes of Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins broadened Angus’ mind. Learning about space made him appreciate what simply doesn’t matter, and made him realise how miniscule personal shit is in comparison to what’s going on everywhere in the universe—“we are merely the result of metals and organic matter smashing together at some point in time, growing into creatures over billions of years. It’s ridiculous. Then we have the ability to look into the night sky and stare into the distance of the solar system. You are smaller than this full stop. Dat shit cray.”

means that everyone has exactly the same amount of resources or maybe it means that no-one has too much more than anyone else. It doesn’t really matter, as long as the distribution in society matches your ideal pattern of fair distribution.

at all. Why is this a problem? Because the society would now contain a massive inequality, and violate the pattern which we think is fair. This questions conceptions of justice which take a snapshot of society and evaluate it against an ideal pattern. By no means does this undermine the notion that certain types of society might be fairer than others. But it shows that a blind fealty to a principle of justice can undermine the simple human freedom to live the lives we choose. Wilt deserves his cash-money; we should be free to give it to him.

UDAYAN MUKHERJEE

Wilt Chamberlain was the original balla’.

Standing at 7 foot 1, he once scored 100 points in a single NBA game and infamously claimed to have slept with 20,000 women in his life. His relentless swag meant that even philosophers took notice of him. Indeed, a famous thought experiment revolves directly around Wilt.

Devised by Robert Nozick, it is meant to illuminate the constant trade-off between freedom and equality that we society faces.

Imagine that we’ve set up society such in a way that we consider fair. Maybe this

But then imagine that Wilt Chamberlain comes along and start to dominate the courts on a nightly basis, and charges people some tiny fee like 50c to watch him play. After a while, Wilt is going to amass a fortune even though it doesn’t seem like any of the transactions were exploitative 41

-

columns

-

SPORTING RELIGION ✏

STEPHEN GILLAM

Since I’m a nice, non-controversial guy I figured I’d write about a nice, noncontroversial topic this week.

So here are my thoughts on sport and religion.

For those who dislike the two combining, it’s interesting that the former would be hard-pressed to thrive like it does without the latter.

Everton FC, for example, were founded by the St. Domingo’s Parish Church for their parishoners to play a winter sport: consistent with the idea at the time of using sport to teach young men responsibility and character building.

Current champions Manchester City were founded by the St. Mark’s Church as a communal charity organisation. Other big clubs like Aston Villa, Southampton and Tottenham Hotspur have similar origins.

Of course, clubs like these grew and provided a model for clubs in other sports, which became a necessity for long-term survival as sports went professional.

What we see of religion in the sports world today is usually more of a personal thing.

Michael Jones not playing on Sundays is an easy example, as is someone like Rory Fallon praising God after scoring.

Players like Javier Hernandez (Catholic) and Tim Tebow (Baptist) express their beliefs by praying before the game, and we also see things like messages on undershirts. Demba Ba (Muslim) runs to the corner and prays after scoring, which highlights the diversity we’re beginning to see with globalisation.

As a result, prayer rooms are slowly being introduced at clubs to promote cultures of acceptance and harmony irrespective of beliefs.

During the World Cup last year Fiji and Samoa prayed together after their game.

No matter what you believe (or don’t believe), that kind of thing is really cool to see.

Provided it’s kept a harmless gesture, there’s nothing wrong with this kind of expression.

Naturally there are always exceptions: the muppets that take things too far. The Catholic-Protestant rivalry is still alive and kicking in Scotland, and is expressed in the hatred Rangers and Celtic have for each other.

This hatred is among the strongest in world football, and people often die during postgame incidents.

But more on that in two weeks’ time.

GRATIN DAUPHINOIS ✏

ASHLEIGH BARRETT

Potatoes are wonderful, aren’t they? They can be cooked hundreds of different ways, they’re cheap, they’re filling and everyone loves them.

My all-time favourite way of cooking potatoes is to make a gratin dauphinois–or cheesy potatoes or scalloped potatoes or potato bake, whatever name you’d like to give it. This is fantastic served with a rich beef stew or a lovely steak.

Ingredients ▴▴ 4 medium-sized potatoes ▴▴ 150ml full-fat milk ▴▴ 150ml cream ▴▴ a pinch of nutmeg ▴▴ 100g grated cheese (gruyère is ideal, but tasty or cheddar will do in a pinch) ▴▴ 1 garlic clove, peeled and cut in half lengthways

Directions Preheat the oven to 160°C. Peel the potatoes and slice about 2mm thin. Do not wash them–you want them to keep the starch in them. In a saucepan, heat the milk and cream together. When it is about to boil (ie. you can see small bubbles forming on the surface), add the potatoes.

Stir to make sure they’re all covered, then add nutmeg. Simmer for about 10 minutes, stirring every few minutes. Take off the heat and stir in the grated cheese. Rub a 20cm baking dish with the cut half of the garlic clove. Spread the potato mixture evenly in the dish. Bake for 30-40 minutes until the potatoes are cooked and the top starts to brown. If you want to brown the top more, place under a hot grill for a couple of minutes.

42

FOOD

-

salient

♥

you

-

SALIENT

PROVIDES A FREE NOTICE SERVICE

NOTICES

for all Victoria students, VUWSA-affiliated clubs & not-for-profit organisations.

R E CRU I TM E N T

B U D DY P ROGRAME

2012/13 INTERNSHIPS AND GRADUATE JOBS!

INTERNATIONAL BUDDY PROGRAMME APPLICATIONS FOR TRIMESTER 2 ARE NOW OPEN!

CareerHub CAREERHUB.VICTORIA.AC.NZ

Get your CV ready—attend workshops, CV checks…

Applications closing SOON: ORGANISATIONS

CLOSING DATE

Assurity Consulting

21-May

Tonkin & Taylor

25-May

GHD, IBM (Consultant)

27-May

COMSOL, Datacom, PKF Martin Jarvie, Newmont Asia Pacific, Shell, Contact Energy

31-May

Accor, Transpower, Intergen, NZ Defence Force

1-Jun

Contact Energy (Legal)

4-Jun

AECOm New Zealand

5-Jun

Beca, Opus International Consultants, Motu Economic and Public Research Trust

8-Jun

Element Interactive, Lion

9-Jun

Volunteer to help a new international student settle into Vic and Wellington life, while also engaging with other local and international students on campus! · Build international friendships! · Attend IBP Events! · Earn VicPlus/VILP Points!

For more information about IBP and to register, please visit our website: http://www.victoria. ac.nz/international/buddy

TOASTMASTER!!!

WEDNESDAYS, 12-1PM, ROOM 219, STUDENT UNION BUILDING Because communication isn’t optional, Toastmasters is a club dedicated to helping people practice public speaking in a fun and supportive environment..

Everyone - no matter what your current public speaking ability – is welcome.

Come along and see what Toastmasters is all about.

Visit us online at vicuni.freetoasthost.info

STUDENT EXCHANGE VIC OE – VIC STUDENT EXCHANGE PROGRAMME

CAREER EVENTS BOOK ON CAREERHUB: EMPLOYER PRESENTATION

DATE

CPA Australia, Fulbright

24-May

For more/full details/RSVP, go to CareerHub http://careerhub.victoria.ac.nz careers-service@vuw.ac.nz, (04) 463-5390

ST UD E NTS! CAMPUS CAREERS EXPO (FOR ALL DISCIPLINES) Are you interested in finding a job you'll love some day? Student Life will be hosting a seminar to help you accomplish just that! Whether you're graduating soon or far from now, come learn helpful tips and hints from someone who has dominated the job search experience. Bring your questions!

Date: 23 May Time: 3:00pm Location: SU218

SO C I AL EQU ALI TY INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS FOR SOCIAL EQUALITY AND SOCIALIST EQUALITY PARTY (AUSTRALIA) Public meeting: Oppose the US-Australia war preparations against China The Australian Government has agreed to turn the north and west of the country into a base for major US military operations, while for the first time in 25 years US troops have resumed training exercises with the NZ army in New Zealand. The US is forging alliances and bases throughout the region in order to encircle China, while demanding that the Beijing regime grant greater US access to markets within China and throughout the region. From the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq, the bombing and regime-change in Libya, to the threats against Iran and Syria, Washington is stepping up its use of military power to off-set the historic decline of US imperialism.

We urge students, workers and young people to attend this meeting and help build a genuine anti-war movement, based on a socialist program to overthrow the capitalist profit system, which is the cause of war: Sunday, May 27, 1:30 p.m.

Victoria University of Wellington Law School Old Government Buildings, Campbell Lecture Theatre GBLT3 Ground Floor, opposite Wellington Railway Station Tickets $3/$2 concession

▴▴ ▴▴ ▴▴ ▴▴

Upcoming Deadlines: For Tri 1, 2013 exchange - July 16th, (UC May 29th) Weekly seminars on Wednesdays, Level 2, Easterfield Building, 12.55pm - 1.05pm Why not study overseas as part of your degree?!

Earn Vic credit, get Studylink & grants, explore the world!

moody david

☞ SHARON LAM

Notices should be received by 5pm Tuesday the week before publication. Notices must be fewer than 100 words.

For-profit organisations will be charged $15 per notice. Send notices to editor@salient.org.nz with 'Notice' in the subject line.

43

-

salient

♥

you

-

LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS TWO FREE COFFEES FROM VIC BOOKS!

LETTER OF THE WEEK THE COMIC ARTISTS WILL PAY FOR THEIR CRIMES. Hobbes is a stuffed toy, not a real tiger. What your comic actually showed was Calvin losing full grips on reality and becoming Hobbes.

Think Fight Club but (SPOILERS!) Brad Pitt wins. This is not how I want my Calvin to be shown. Its like you have turned Jesus into Mohammed or show Jesus revealing himself to be Judas or some other fictional character becoming the another fictional character in their own story....Please show respect in future to a very old text I base my morals on even if they may sometimes conflict and make little or no sense.

PS Iron Man turns out to be the governments bitch in the future and its totally lame.

JUST YOU WAIT FOR THE SUDOKU ISSUE Dear Salient Skooma and Sudoku are both amazing for the mind.

This magazine lacks significant amounts of both.

Make it happen.

Regards, Dovahkiin

SOME BASS IS TOO HEAVY TO AUTO-TUNE. Dear Kim-Dot-Com-on-Repeat-Playlient, In the midst of John Banks forgetting everything he ever knew and then remembering it again, I think we've all lost sight of the real issue here: Why in God's name is 'Amnesia' not on the Top 40 charts yet? All I wanna do is hit da clubz, crank the D-Floor, and grind the pole at the Big K to dust to the tune of some sweet politically-relevant beats.

John Banks spliced with Paul Holmes, dripping with auto-tune? That's what I call political porn.

Reow.

Salient welcomes, encourages and thrives on public debate—be it serious or otherwise—through the letters pages. Write about what inspires you, enrages you, makes you laugh, makes you cry. Send us feedback, send us abuse. Anything. Letters must be received before 5pm Tuesday, for publication the following week.

Letters must be no more than 250 words.

Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number.

These will not be printed. Please note that letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar. The Editors reserve the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters without explanation.

HOW’S LIVING IN DUNEDIN GOING FOR YOU? Dear Salient, Suffering from a mild case of insomnia last night, I briefly considered reading a copy of Salient I had lying around. I was soon blissfully asleep.

Thanks, Critic (Otago Student Magazine)

PLEAD NIHILISM. IT WORKED IN COURT. Dear Michael Baylient You know what I am really sick of? The charity merchants on the streets of Wellington who keep asking me for money every time I walk past. Seriously: WTF Red Cross. They are invariably stupid sounding southern Englishmen here on a holiday. They always try to get you interested with the most annoying questions you can possibly think of. The other day they had some sushi and the guy asked me: “What kind of Sushi are you eating?”

Well actually he screamed it, I was listening to Kanye West and I could still hear him. Then 50 metres down the road one asked me whether I called the thinks on my coat ‘duffles or buttons’.

Acutally I don’t give a fuck. Here are three things I recommend you do if you see one: 1) Tell them to fuck off. Think of as many swear words as possible, be creative. 2) Ask them for money. Make up a sob story. If they start telling you how hard done by the poor Africans are, insist that your situation is worse. 3) Try and find two who are hawking different charities, and insist they argue over who has the better cause because you can only sponser one.

Sincerely Don't talk to me about my coat

NO COMMENT. Dear Salient Is there any truth the rumor that your political columnist Hamish McConnochie is planning to stand for the Wellington City Council in 2013? I hope not. The self obsessed narcissism and tendency for annoying and pointless self promotion he seems determined to inflict on the

LETTERS CAN BE SENT TO ✉ EMAIL: letters@salient.org.nz ✍ POSTED: Salient, c/- Victoria University, PO Box 600, Wellington ☞ DROPPED INTO: the Salient office on the third floor of the Student Union Building.

44

rest of us is barely tolerable as it is. Imagine if he were paid with our money to do it full time.. I for one will be holding Salient responsible if this happens. We need to confine him to the bounds of twitter celebrity status (i.e. nothing) before it's too late.

Concerned ratepayer

DARK OMENS. SINISTER SIGNS. OMINOUS TIMES. Dear Salient, i am a heron. i have a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you don't re-post this letter to ten other student publications i will fly into your office tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans Regards, Cracum.

PLEASE, DON’T TELL WATU! Salient, When "We are the University" finds out VUWSA's opposing the Student Forum, they're going to be pissed. Why aren't they pushing for it to be given real influence and power?

Dazza H

HIS NAME IS METHUSELAH There is a man living in the ceiling between levels 5 and 6 in the library. He lurks above/ beneath the bathrooms mainly. Pretty freaky when you think about it. Say hi tho - he tells great jokes.

Yours in good faith, The Wiggler

YES, LIFE IS MEANINGLESS. ‘BOUT TIME SOMEBODY SAID SO. Dear Saving-the-universe-one-planet-ata-time-lient, Just putting it out there, but do we actually need to save the planet? After all, if we’re just an assortment of atoms agglutinated by blind luck, why bother keeping the human race running? Are we not just going in circles, passing the baton to the next generation, but never actually reaching an end point?

If we just happened to mutate from whatever was before us, then we have no right to claim status or power over any part of nature. We might as well just follow the lemmings off a cliff and leave the third rock from the sun to be ruled by penguins and glow-worms. And narwhals, ‘cause narwhals are awesome. We’re not the fastest or strongest animals, nor the longest living. Judging by our destructive actions, we’re not the smartest either. The most talkative? Fat lot of good that does us, if Overheard at Vic is anything to go

-

by. And our words seldom match our actions. What gives humans the right to exist in perpetuity, especially when it costs the Earth?

Hopeful Cynic (For the record, I voted Green, I believe that humans have immense value, and that Earth is a precious treasure. Psalm 24.1)

ANOTHER STUNNER FROM THE MYSTERY POET Dear Sailent, More please, you say?

We will not stay away after a win last week we will keep up a streak so 'expect us' on monday.

Kiwi's and drinking is true but isnt that the glue? that makes us so great how we celebrate, A good point in my view.

Why do we need to be green? its not like we aren't clean they stand too strict to much conflict, they're crap, not to be mean.

And what's with this shitshow? who would want to go toilet humor's the joke who would see this bloke this is going to blow.

-Mondaylunchbunch

WAIT UP, WAIT UP – WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAY? Hi Salelient, It pisses me off how everyone on this frikn campus is so frikn miserable the whole time. Its really sad. Uni students are really lucky to be at uni when you consider how mucb uni costs so its pretty arrogant to waste your time looking like a sad precious hipster twat. If you keep being sad wreaks then the only person whos winning is the institution – neoliberal institution I might add – youre just being a pawn while you waste your money and the rich pricks roll in the cash. Open your eyes! Wheres the money going? The neoliberal fat cats.

Wheres the money coming from? Kiwi people – just like you (!!) - who work hard and ar e paid very little. By now it seems pretty clear that you cant just stand around and be miserable and do nothing while your friends and kiwis are robbed redhanded. Stop being so sad the whole time and wear loser jeans and wake up to

salient

♥

you

-

the situation thats around you before its to late.

The prophet Who called the caring brigade?

Dearest What-you-say-to-me-lient?

I’m very drustrated with the brand of nonchalance carefully cultivated apathy that seems to be the identity of our generation.

What the fuck happened to actually liking things you like, and, you know, saying that you like them?

That’s called integrity.

If you pretend for long enough that nothing is particularly great, one day you’ll actually believe that shit. And wouldn’t that be sad? It would be easier though: you wouldn’t have to fake the measured insincerity any more.

- Ha

Real knowledge takes a little effort, a little excavation down at least one level below what "everybody knows."

- CC.

SOMEBODY CALL CAMPUS CARE Dear lonely reader, I am a 20 year old female addicted to retail, seeking a 18 year old male for my winter warmth project. Applicants must be moderate in height, deep of the voice and be able to sustain a good convo about Game of Thrones and Dr. Who. Skyrim fans may apply too.

Look forward to the winter.

S.H.

WAIT, I’VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE...

Let's say you're in a crowded cafeteria, and you buy a cup of tea. And as you're about to sit down you see your friend way across the room. So you put the tea down and walk across the room and talk to your friend for a few minutes. Now, coming back to your tea, are you just going to pick it up and drink it? Remember, this is a crowded place and you've just left your tea unattended for several minutes. You've given anybody in that room access to your tea.

Why should your mind be any different?

Turning on the TV, or uncritically absorbing mass publications every day these activities allow access to our minds by "just anyone" - anyone who has an agenda, anyone with the resources to create a public image via popular media. As we've seen above, just because we read something or see something on TV doesn't mean it's true or worth knowing. So the idea here is, like the tea, perhaps the mind is also worth guarding, worth limiting access to it.

This is the only life we get. Time is our total capital. Why waste it allowing our potential, our scope of awareness, our personality, our values to be shaped, crafted, and boxed up according to the whims of the mass panderers? There are many important issues that are crucial to our physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing which require time and study. If it's an issue where money is involved, objective data won't be so easy to obtain.

Remember, if everybody knows something, that image has been bought and paid for.

45

☞ RENEE GERLICH

O T N I E N TU

S

MOVIE E M O S FOR GS! N I H T D AN

YOUTUBE.COM/SALIENTTV

-

salient

â&#x2122;Ľ

you

-

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.47)

7 2

4

3 5

1

9

8

7 8

4

9

3

1

1

2

3

7

4

3 5

7

2

8 4

9 2

1

4

1

46

ACROSS 1. Part of a vine's growth (7) 5. Options (7) 9. Concentrated spirit (7) 10. Band who performed 'Wanted Dead or Alive' (3,4) 11. Fork over (3) 13. Orb of liquid (7) 15. Start to collapse (3) 17. Ironically-named actor who was in 34-Across (6,7) 23. Role in 'The King and I' (4) 24. Break the tenth commandment (5) 25. Mineral that's often black and white (4) 26. Weapon that's Spanish for 'little sledgehammer' (7) 30. Works with what one has (5,2) 34. Place the man seen outside the grid has escaped from (9,6) 35. Unusual or zany (7) 36. Come to a conclusion (7) DOWN 1. Idiot (City in Belgium) (5) 2. Horrible (Like the Ming family) (5) 3. Fled (An 80s band, when repeated) (3) 4. What a psychiatrist might ask you to do (3,4) 5. Mender of shoes (7) 6. Possess (Sad expression) (3) 7. Black birds (Money held by third parties) (5) 8. Sharp pain (Building a place to roost) (5) 12. Compound with the formula NH3 (7) 13. Borzoi or akita (3) 14. Casual shirt (3) 16. Irritated (7) 18. Arrive at (5) 19. Type of neckwear (5) 20. Number of Olympic rings (4) 21. Person on a film set (5) 22. Largest member of the deer family (5) 26. Erato, Calliope, and others (5) 27. Head the meeting (5) 28. Follow on (5) 29. You might check it on your phone (5) 30. Auto or home suffix (5) 31. In music, 'Chameleon' or 'Police' (5) 32. Food on trains? (5) 33. Imperial measurement of weight (5) OUTSIDE THE GRID Character that escaped from 34-Across (4,8)

â&#x2DC;&#x17E; RUSS KALE

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Thu May 17 15:53:21 2012 GMT. Enjoy!

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

7AM - 10AM

FLIGHT COFFEE

VBC BREAKFAST

WITH AIDAN, LOZZA, MIKE Sweet music, News, Interviews and giveaways

& SONYA

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

8AM -10AM

8AM -10AM

DJ COMPUTER

THE CHILDREN'S CORNER WITH

BEEP... BEEP...

LAUREN, FLO & GUESTS 10AM - 12PM

LATE MORN

WITH

10AM -12PM

10AM - 12PM

MORNING MAGAZINE

WAKE N' BAKE

12PM - 2PM

12PM - 2PM

MIDDAY

INDY BITS & PIECES WITH MATT INDIE

TOM BRINGS IT.

STEPH

Hot Tunes, Gig Guide, The FAV 3, Community Notices, Giveaways & Interviews 12PM - 2PM

WITH

GUESTS

PEARCE & DUNCAN

WITH

12PM - 2PM

12PM - 1PM

12PM - 2PM

FEAT

INFIDEL ASTRO WITH PHILIP MCSWEENY

FEAT

FEAT

NEW VEEBS

NEW VEEBS

NEW VEEBS

2PM - 4PM

2PM - 4PM

1PM - 3PM

2PM - 4PM

2PM - 4PM

2PM - 4PM

LIAM & GABBY

2PM - 4PM

FEAT

FEAT

DOM'S

LO-FI

MID ARVO

HEAVY PLASTIC

CHRIS & CRAIG

WITH

NEW VEEBS

ON AIR AWESOMENESS

NEW VEEBS

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 7PM

DRIVE SHOW

MONDO'S

TASMIN'S

WITH

MATT & MATT

TUESDAY

WITH

AWESOME SHOW 4PM - 7PM

TBC

WITH

RICHARD

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 6PM

JAMES & HARRY

EMMA & BELLA'S SUPER CUTE HANGOUT

JOE'S

'ECLECTIC BLISS'

ARTS SHOW

DRIVE

WEDNESDAY

TRENT

INDY / FOLK / ALT

WITH

WITH

VIRGINIA

7PM - 9PM

7PM - 9PM

7PM - 9PM

7PM - 8PM

7PM - 9PM

7PM - 9PM

6PM - 9PM

TURN ON, TUNE IN & DROP OUT

THE SPOTLIGHT SESSION

ALT & INDY

TRAIN SPOTTING

IN DEEP

TBC

JAZZ 2 HIPHOP

NICK & HENRY

WITH

WITH

ROHAN & KEGAN

HOLLY & STUMBLE

WITH

GEORGE

WITH

WITH

AMY JEAN

WITH

SHAUN

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 10PM

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 11PM

THE VINYL COUNTDOWN

BEATS, BASS & BULLSHIT

THAT'S SO METAL

COMPULSORY ECSTASY

FLOORFILLERS & PAINKILLERS

TBC

SUNDAY BLUES

THUR 24TH

FRI 25TH

SAT 26TH

VIRTUAL HALLS

PSYCHOLOGY SOCIETY

WITH

MIKEY & PETE

WITH

JACK & BRYN

MON 21ST THE HUNTER LOUNGE MIGHTY MIGHTY HAVAN BAR

WITH

HAYDEN & PALS

TUES 22ND

WITH

KIM & NIC

WED 23RD

STATE OF ORIGIN (LIVE)

JOHANNA

& THE MYSTERY BAND WITH PORCELAIN TOY THE

ADAM PAGE TRIO

SAN FRANCISCO BATHHOUSE

CAFE SANDWICHES

STEFAN

TALENT SHOW TIN SOLDIERS

QUIZ

ASTRO EMPIRE!

DJ LON LUCHITO

LIVE SALSA WITH SON CLAVE

LEFT OR RIGHT

ROSENEATH REBELS 16PC

FUNKACYBIN

'GOOD TIMES’

RAY

LION EYES

AND MELTING FACES

STANDUP COMEDY

WITH

DOUBLE YA D, HOST SWISS MISTRESS & LITTLE BARK

THE

‘BUZZY’ NZ ALBUM RELEASE TOUR

BODEGA

MEOW

WITH

SUPERBAND

MISS INK NZ 2012 THE

IVA LAMKUM

& BELLA KALOLO;

ATOMIC

WITH DJ BILL E

DIMMER:

THE FAREWELL

SHOWS

RASKONIKOVS

PHONE TO PARK

FAMOUS FRIDAYS

DJ SAMBORA & P.DIGSSS

(SHAPESHIFTER)