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Salient 15, 2013 - Conscience

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E I L NT A S 1938

SA LIENT

VOL 76 ISSUE 15

monday 29th july 2013

1938

monday 22nd july 2013 VOL 76 ISSUE 14


Members of the Jury: Editors: Stella Blake-Kelly & Molly McCarthy editor@salient.org.nz Designer: Laura Burns designer@salient.org.nz News Editor: Chris McIntyre news@salient.org.nz News Interns: Sophie Boot & Alex Lewin

E I L N A T S 1938

An Organ of Student Opinion Since 1938

Arts Editor: Philip McSweeney arts@salient.org.nz Film Editor: Chloe Davies Books Editor: Alexandra Hollis Visual Arts Editor: Simon Gennard Music Editor: Elise Munden Theatre Editor: Gabrielle Beran Games Editor: Patrick Lindsay Feature Writers: Henry Cooke & Patrick Hunn Chief Sub-editor & Uploader: Nick Fargher Distribution Specialist: Jonathan Hobman

contributors: Hayley Adams, Hilary Beattie, Seymour Butts, Rose Cann, Caitlin Craigie, Matthew Ellison, Catherine Gaffaney, Amy Griffin-Browne, Freddie Hayek, Hector and Janet, Becca Hofmann, Ashleigh Hume, Emma Hurley, Andrew Jacombs, Russ Kale, Eve Kennedy, Lux Lisbon, Bing Lou, Sebastian Maddox, Carla Marks, Monique McKenzie, Pasifika Students' Council, Carlo Salizzo, Zachary Shilston Contributor of the Week: Henry. We're so sorry.

advertising: Contact: Ali Allen Phone: 04 463 6982 Email: sales@vuwsa.org.nz

contact: Level 2, Student Union Building Victoria University P.O. Box 600. Wellington Phone: 04 463 6766 Email: editor@salient.org.nz Website: salient.org.nz Twitter: @salientmagazine Facebook: facebook.com/salientmagazine

After about three hours of questioning, the police brought up that they’d found the drugs. Then I realised that I was in a fuckload of shit.

about us: Salient is produced by independent student journalists, employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students' Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of, syndicated and supported by the Aoteroa Student Press Association (ASPA). Salient is funded by Victoria Univeristy of Wellington students, through the Student Services Levy. It is printed by APN Print of Hastings. Opinions expressed are not necessarily representative of ASPA, VUWSA, APN Print, critical thought, yolo, regret, but we of Salient are proud of our beliefs and take full responsibility for them. This issue is dedicated to:

the voices in our heads

From Grad To Bad, Page 30


CONTEN

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Weekly Content: VUWSA

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News

6

Politics

14

Campus Digest

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Features: critical

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intentions an hour with

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gower judging the

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judges

editorial Universities were once supposed to act as the critic and conscience of our societies; the little voice in New Zealand’s head. But just like our own consciences, these little, sensible voices are all too often drowned out by the loud, obnoxious ones. At Victoria, the desperate need to attract fee-paying students leads the University to spend exorbitant amounts of time and money on a fancy new Campus Hub, or painstakingly rebrand everything from University cars to free pens (because it’s no longer about ‘Getting Amongst the Best’, now that ‘Knowing Your Mind’ is in), instead of helping to craft what our society should look like. For us, our rapidly reducing attention spans are constantly drawn in by even the smallest of distractions. The modern era hasn’t been kind to us: with changes in technology, our generation expects everything to happen as quickly and efficiently as possible. Why form your own well-reasoned arguments, when you can employ a hashtag to do the thinking for you? Generation Y has become generation YOLO. A disclaimer for being apathetic to consequence; for silencing that voice in your ear like you dismiss a nagging Mum. When you really think about it, this catchy reminder of our own mortality should be a reason to care about things, not a synonym for apathy. Instead, it’s become the real life version of ‘no offence,

www.salient.org.nz

but’—a throwaway comment that precedes doing something you know you’re not supposed to. Sometimes we need a jolt to put everything in perspective—to get the synapses flashing and heart pumping again. Maybe last weekend’s earthquake made you reconsider what’s important to you—or at the very least, inspired you to store a Pump bottle and a roll of toilet paper in your cupboard. But one week out, and the earthquake is already forgotten; the books are back on the shelves. Our news section is irrelevant. Our short term memory is occupied with new events—maybe it only took you an hour to replace #eqnz with #XFactorNZ. And just like that, the little, sensible voice inside your head—the one which told you to run to a doorway, and call your mum—was drowned out by three loud, obnoxious ones. Perhaps the problem is that our consciences have just become a bit lazy, and need more of a challenge for us to really re-evaluate things. Rather than using this conscience to be critical about the things we should be, our inner critic is—just like us—too self-centred; too often we let the little voice turn on us, and choose to doubt ourselves, rather than the world around us.

@salientmagazine

from grad to bad

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generation meh

32

people don't

34

have consciences

Columns: weekly rant

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mad science

39

bent

40

Things That Go

41

Bump in the Night Fixing Your Life

written Off) LIFESTYLEs of

facebook.com/salientmagazine

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the poor and studious

Arts: VISUAL ARTS

44

books

45

tv

46

film

47

THEATRE

48

music

49

what's on

Etc: Puzzles

50

Letters

52

Notices

54

VBC

55

Gig Guide

molly & stella

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(Because Ours Are


VUWSA 

YOUR STUDENTS’

ASSOCIATION

your students' association to head to a by-election to fill his role permanently. Since this decision, Gemma Swan, our Education Officer, has also decided to depart the Exec—focusing on her studies in her final trimester. We wish both Simon and Gemma all the best for the future. The by-election will be for these two positions, and also include a spot for a student on the Publications Committee, which governs Salient and appoints the Editor(s). This role went unfilled at last year’s General Elections in October.

THE McCOURT REPORT VUWSA President Rory McCourt Everyone’s a critic? Good, now find a conscience: Universities are supposed to be the critic and conscience of a society. We are the ones duty-bound to hold up a mirror glass to ourselves, and to others, and in the middle of the horror that is life, provide hope for humanity with newfound wisdom through logic, research and debate. We challenge the powerful, and tear down walls with our ideas. So often in the rat race that universities have become, this duty is at the back of the minds of our top academics, let alone our students. But our institutions have always been more than the GDP we could contribute, or the warmachines we could pioneer. We are centers for the exchange of ideas. In that role is our highest calling. We can produce the global leaders of tomorrow through rigorous, challenging liberal arts programmes. Surely this is a more laudable goal than simple completion rates, or lifting our share of the postgrad pie. What is Vic’s big vision? Is it time we took another look at our unique place in the creative, capital city of a stable world-leading democracy as a chance to lead the field once more in academic revolutions in economics, politics, history or public policy? Bye-By-election bonanza: As Rick mentioned last week, Simon Tapp, our Vice-President (Welfare), took up a job during the mid-year break and the Executive has decided

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I encourage you to put up your hand for one or more of these roles when nominations open this Friday. Polling will take place by online secure ballot 22-24 August. University Council By-election this Thursday: But wait! There’s another by-election. The email comes out this Thursday. Vote. Come on, it only takes a second. Democracy is sexy. Pride Week—Rachel Maddow ‘nerdpleased’: Last week marked yet another highly successful Pride Week with VUWSA and UniQ. From a Queer Quiz, to a Diversity Forum in the marae, to a sexual abuse prevention workshop and a traffic light party, ‘twas a busy week with a lot on! Equity Officer Matthew Ellison is notoriously amazing, and his work with UniQ President James Gray and the UniQ team has cemented for another year the awesomeness of Pride. Tino pai! Representation Review—Replacing the Forum with what works: VUWSA and the other student representatives on campus had major issues with the Student Forum. I don’t mean to get into those here, but I do want to offer a bit of hope. The Review gives students the biggest opportunity in a generation to build a student representation system that serves students in our multiplicity of needs and preferences. Us, Vic, and the other student groups want to hear: who you think should be on boards and committees representing you; how you want to be informed and be given feedback; and whether you think VUWSA should once again be tasked with coordinating student consultation and sitting at the top table—University Council. For me, it’s pretty simple: VUWSA is the only inclusive, independent, effective and accountable student organisation capable of doing the job you deserve. Let’s back VUWSA to get back to core business and turn a page on the Forum.

>>> salient.org.nz


 VUWSA

NGAI TAUIRA Tēnā anō tātou mā,

Vice-President (Academic) By Sonya Clark

For every fifty minute lecture you attend, the amount of work that goes on behind the scenes is huge. From the writing of the lecture to organizing timetables, to the painstaking process of analyzing every new course or degree, a huge amount of work goes into one 3000 second lecture. All this goes on behind the scenes to ensure that Victoria provides a quality education. But a quality education simply can’t happen without us, the students, having our voice heard from the classroom right up to the boardrooms at Vic. My role at VUWSA means I sit as a student rep on the University’s Academic Committee and Academic Board. These Committees discuss major and minor academic changes, whether it’s a new degree or course that is being proposed, or significant changes to how grading works at Vic. VUWSA has these student seats because we are connected with, and accountable to, students. We’ve built up the Class Rep system over the years so that when VUWSA reps speak at a meeting, we can be sure we are feeding those voices right up to the top. Class Reps are vital for getting our surveys out to classes, and also to tell us when there are issues so we can act on them. When I am unsure of something, it is a real relief to not have to speak from my own perspective, but to carry the voices of others. With Victoria’s recent proposed changes to make an A+ now worth 90 per cent, the VUWSA survey received over 400 student responses, which meant we could pass on the views of students who liked the change, and also raise the concerns of many students about issues of fairness. All of this matters, because today you’ll get an email from Victoria asking how the Student Voice should be heard. The survey will ask about who sits in those seats on the University Boards and Committees and represents you. It’ll ask which students should sit on University Council, and how they get there. VUWSA believes that student reps must be accountable, supported and connected. A random student sitting on a board can do little if not connected, supported and trained. Student reps must also be accountable. The beauty about my role is that if students don’t like what I advocate for, I can be removed. So, in this Review, I’m asking you to support VUWSA’s continued presence at the table, so that the student voice can be heard, and to support VUWSA retaining the role we have in supporting the diverse range of student reps across the university. The VUWSA President should have a place on University Council, with the addition of a Māori student rep, accountable to Ngāi Tauira. Because student reps need to be supported, connected and accountable, so they can be an effective voice for students.

salient.org.nz <<<

Mārakerake ana te kite i nanakia, i pukuriri katoa a Ruaumoko i tērā wiki. Nāwai i hē kātahi ka hē kē atu nē. Ko te manako ia ka kore a Rūaumoko e riri anō ki a mātou o Poneke nei, ā, ki te ao hoki. Heoi anō, kite kore ēnei āhuatanga e tū, kaua e noho kuare ana e hoa mā, me whakarite he kākahu, he kai, he wāi Māori hoki hei āwhina i a koutou ina rū anō te whenua. Waihoki, he whakaaro pai ki te whakahaerehia tētahi momo rautaki mā koutou anō, kia taea ō hoa, ō whānau te whai mēnā kei wāhi kē koutou. E tika ana kia tuku he mihi maioha hoki ki ngā kaimahi i whakapitongoi, kia pāi ai ā tātou hokinga atu ki te mahi, ki te whare wānanga, ā, ngā wāhi hoki o Poneke. Ahakoa te mahi nanakia o Rūaumoko i tērā wiki, ka pāi tōnu ā tātou hokinga atu ki te whare wānanga o Wikitōria. Te mutunga iho ka whakanui tonutia te wiki whakahirahira o ō tātou hoa, ō tātou whānau takatāpui. Ina rā te pai o taua wiki, ngā kaikōrero me te wairua hoki. Ki a koe Whenua Patuwai, tēnei ka mihi ake ki a koe e te manu tīoriori. Ahakoa kāre koe i toa i te whakataetae maroke rawa atu, ko koe tonu a runga e tama. Kia kaha tonu koe ki te tuku tō reo rōreka ki te ao, ki te rangi, ā, ki ngā iwi katoa. Ngā mihi, Ngāi Tauira.

PASIFIKA STUDENTS' COUNCIL Committed to success, equity and equality, the Pasifika Students’ Council is dedicated to serving you. We look forward to being a part of your journey here at Victoria University! LOTO AHO STUDY SESSION When: every Wednesday, starting 31 July. Where: KK001, Kirk Building Level 0. Time: 4-6 pm. HULA WITH TE KURA Wednesdays, 7.30 am at Dance Room, VUW Rec Centre. FHSS Dropin Course Advice, Fridays, 1 pm at Pasifika Haos. TIVAEVAE-MAKING SESSION Wednesdays, 5 pm at Pasifika Haos.Add us on Facebook and look out for more exciting events.facebook.com/#!/groups/PasifikaStudentsCouncil/ Your Executive team: President: Kevin Fagalilo, Vice-President: Te Kura Moeka’a, Secretary: Ane Kisina, Treasurer: Lupe Tupou, Academic Officer: Voni Taumanu, Public Relations Officer: Fabiefara Masoe Please take care of yourselves, and remember to DROP, COVER, and HOLD!

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NEWS

NEWs 

Our news section is a disaster. Can you help? Email: news@salient.org.nz

UNI SHEDS PIPI-TEAR Vic left Law-less as quakes shake Pipitea Chris McIntyre

Just days after the University announced the purchase of recording label Rattle, there was a very different sort of rattle going on at Victoria as earthquakes paralysed all campuses last week. All students enjoyed a day off on Monday, with University campuses closed in order for damage to be assessed following Sunday’s 6.5-magnitude quake. By Monday night, Kelburn, Karori, and Te Aro campuses had been declared safe, and were operating as usual by Tuesday morning. At the time Salient went to print, the Pipitea campus was set to reopen on Monday 29 July. “Buildings at all University campuses have been inspected by specialist seismic engineers and all have been cleared as safe to use,” a University spokesperson told Salient. “There was superficial damage in a number of buildings. This includes broken windows, objects falling over, and cracks.” It is too soon for the financial impact of the earthquake to be known. The only campus not to reopen on Tuesday was Pipitea as Law and Commerce students faced cancelled lectures and worse, with some classes moved to Karori. As a result of cancellations, assessments for Law and Commerce students are to be rescheduled, with further announcements being made this week. Exam dates have also been altered to reflect the week lost as a result of cancellations.

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Students wanting to learn more about course changes are advised to check Blackboard. Acting Dean of Law Gordon Stewart has said all markers and lecturers would be lenient on students affected by the quakes. "It will be a case-by-case basis, but the earthquake is a huge inconvenience for many. Students are already stressed and strained, let alone chucking an earthquake on top and assignments as well," said Stewart. Dean of Commerce Professor Bob Buckle told Salient that affected students would not be disadvantaged. “We appreciate that this may be an inconvenience for some, but we want to ensure you are provided with every opportunity to cover the appropriate material.” A number of the University’s Halls of Residence sustained damage. Cumberland had cracks and crumbling in the stairwell, Boulcott residents reported internal cracking on the walls, and a roof panel fell off in Te Whanau, the newest building in Weir House.

As a precautionary measure, structural engineers checked all Halls beginning on Sunday night. With halls were declared safe following the checks. Halls have civil defence cabinets and emergency supplies for residents, though residents are also encouraged to ensure that they have their own kit. In the case of an evacuation, the University will arrange temporary alternative accommodation for residents. By Sunday night, a ‘Wellington Student Volunteer Army’ Facebook group had been set up in the image of the Canterbury Student Volunteer Army (SVA). Canterbury’s SVA was a central part of the volunteer effort after the 2010 Darfield and 2011 Christchurch earthquakes. The Wellington SVA had helped to clean up at Saatchi & Saatchi, and were also organising a clean-up for the Law Library. As Salient went to print, the Wellington page had over 500 members. Those who want to volunteer can find the ‘Wellington Student Volunteer Army’ Facebook page at facebook.com/svawgtn, or email them at wellington@sva.org.nz.

University Halls of Residence were not evacuated after the quakes. Associate Director of Student Accommodation Nick Merrett told Salient halls were not evacuated as the University sets a “high standard of seismic compliance” for all halls. “As a result, [the University] has a high level of confidence in the earthquake resilience of its Halls,” said Merrett. >>> salient.org.nz


 NEWS

FLAGRANT BREACH OF CLEANER DISCHARGED, SMOKEFREE POLICY BUT NOT CHARGED Library lights up and campus shuts down

New security measures

Chris McIntyre

Chris McIntyre

Despite fire services being called just four minutes after a 5.7-magnitude quake, Friday’s Library fire was not thought to be related to the quake. The fire was sparked by an 10–15-kg acetylene tank on the second floor of the Library. Acetylene is an odourless gas used by welders, which is highly explosive. A 200-m cordon was enacted by the Fire Service, meaning students could not access the Hub, Library or Quad for over three hours. ''[The tank] was on fire and they explode quite violently,'' said senior station officer Steve Mackle, a firefighter who attended the blaze. Associate Director of Campus Development Satish Dahya told Salient there was “minor damage” to an area of the Library currently under construction, but that this would not affect the completion date of the work. “Repair work has been easily incorporated into the work programme,” said Dahya, adding the completed areas of the Library suffered no damage as a result of the fire.

miss the point

The investigation into the cleaner accused of spying on students showering at the Cumberland Hall of Residence has concluded, with the man in question removed from service at Victoria. Following the allegations, the cleaner’s swipe cards had been deactivated and he had been instructed not to return to University property. OCS, the University cleaning contractor, has since advised the University that a full investigation has been conducted and appropriate action taken. No criminal charges have been placed against the man. “The individual concerned will not be returning to work at any of Victoria University’s Halls of Residences or campuses,” said Associate Director of Student Accommodation Nick Merrett. “It has been reinforced to students in Halls of Residence that they should report any concerns or incidents to staff as soon as possible.”

“No fixtures or fittings were damaged in the completed areas and no books suffered any damage, which we are particularly pleased about,” said University Librarian Noelle Nelson.

Security at Cumberland has increased since the incidents, with the Hall now only accessible to residents and contractors with a swipe card. However, these measures would not have stopped the man had they been in place at the time of the offending, as he had a swipe card and full access to the hall. Previously, swipe cards were not needed to enter via the front doors.

The Fire Service is currently investigating the cause of the fire, and the Ministry of Building, Innovation and Employment had been advised.

Two OCS employees were suspended earlier this year following an incident where one cleaner strangled another in a University bathroom.

salient.org.nz <<<

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Salient 's Guide to:

Gettin' ready, gettin' through DURING Stay inside the building during an earthquake and take shelter under doorways or desks, or beside internal walls. Stay clear of areas with glass atriums or glass roofs. Keep calm, and stay inside until the shaking stops and you are sure it is safe to exit.

It can be easy to forget that we live on top of some pretty big fault lines, but the recent earthquakes probably served as a pretty good reminder. While the worst of the shaking seems to be over, it's always a good idea to keep switched on to what you should do if an earthquake hits. It's always better be safe than sorry, and with that in mind, Salient presents a helpful guide to staying chill through the jolts.

DROP!

OPEN SPACE? Kneel on the floor, facing away from windows and clasp both hands behind your head, cover your neck, bury your face in your arms, and close your eyes tightly—stay in this position until it’s safe to get up.

cover!

AFTER Put out any small fires, and if it’s safe, help those around you if you can. Treat minor injuries, and account for those around you if possible. Check the area you’re in for signs of hazardous material spills or major structural damage. If telephones are working don’t contact Campus Care unless immediate assistance is required. Close all smoke-stop doors in your area, and don’t evacuate unless you are instructed to do so or if the area is immediately threatened by secondary hazards like a fire or a gas leak. If an evacuation is called, do the same as you would in a fire: don’t use lifts, instead use stairwells.

hold on! EXTRA HELP

IF YOU'RE A BIT SHAKEN UP Keep eating, drinking, trying to sleep, and stay connected with others. If you’re rattled by the shakes, it’s a good idea to keep structure and routine in your day, particularly around exercise, meeting up with friends, university activities, etc. Make sure you have the facts, and avoid listening to, or passing on information that you’re not sure is fact. Remember that people will have different emotional reactions to critical incidents; be accepting of these, get support if you need and be sure to take care of your mates. There are a wide range of normal responses and coping strategies after earthquakes, which can be a really traumatic event for some people.

Health & Counselling at Victoria offers brief counselling appointments each day as needed; find them at Student Health Services in the SUB, Kelburn campus. If you’ve got financial problems as a result of damage, Financial Support and Advice may be able to help with costs. They have offices at all campuses (except Karori) or contact them at studenthardship@vuw.ac.nz. If you’re struggling with, or have questions regarding academic work due to the impact of the earthquakes, Victoria recommends you speak with your lecturers, course coordinators, or Faculty Office directly. The University’s Accommodation Service victoria.ac.nz/ accommodation is available for students who may have had accommodation or tenancy issues as a consequence of the quake.


PIPITEA CAMPUS: PARLIAMENT GROUNDS

CAMPUS EVACUATION AREAS

KELBURN CAMPUS: KELBURN PARK

TE ARO CAMPUS: COBBLESTONE PARK KARORI CAMPUS: PLAYING FIELDS

got your shit together? Make sure your flat has...

Toilet paper and large rubbish bags for your emergency toilet

Blankets or sleeping bags

Make sure to have food and water for at least three days

Face and dust masks

First aid kit and essential medicines

It’s best if it’s nonperishable (canned or dried food)

Radio

Batteries

You need water for drinking (at least 3 litres per person, per day) and for washing and cooking

Wind and waterproof clothing, sun hats, and strong outdoor shoes. Torch Check your batteries every three months. Battery-powered lights are much safer than candles, which might tip over in earthquake aftershocks or wind. Don’t use kerosene lamps, which require a great deal of ventilation and are not designed for indoor use.

Don’t forget a primus or gas barbecue to cook on, and a can opener.


NEWS

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE Hopefully just the former! chris mcintyre

The gay onslaught was heralded not just by earthquakes, but also by a fabulous, loud, and proud Pride Week held at Victoria last week. Pride Week was run by VUWSA and UniQ , Victoria’s representative group for queer students. It is an annual fixture on the events calendar and it used to celebrate and educate students on queer culture. Events included a Queer Sex Education session, a Diversity Forum, a Queer Sexual Abuse Prevention Workshop, a Queer Quiz, and an Open Mic Night, and closed with a Traffic Light Party on Friday night. Last week’s Salient was also re-themed Queerlient, to coincide with Pride Week. A focus was placed on reflecting the diversity of the queer community. At the Diversity Forum last Tuesday, gay, bi and lesbian participants joined asexual, trans*, genderqueer and other queer participants to discuss issues across the entire rainbow spectrum.

VUWSA Equity Officer Matt Ellison said Pride Week had been going well, despite Monday’s closures affecting the Queer Sex Education session. Events had been “well-attended”, and had “good atmosphere”. “Pride Week is important to celebrate progress made by the queer rights movement, and to raise the profile of queerness, which helps people feel more accepted and able to come out themselves,” said Ellison. VUWSA President Rory McCourt was also pleased with Pride Week, describing it as a “huge success” and citing the hard work of Ellison and UniQ. “I think Pride Week is, and has been, one of our most popular event weeks. “This year is no different.” Students interested in becoming involved with UniQ can find more information at their website, uniqvictoria.co.nz, or their Facebook page, facebook.com/uniq.victoria.9. Photo: Rick Zwaan

Warrant of Fitness Warranted; DCC To See VUWSA looks on as OUSA tries to raise standards Bing Lou

VUWSA is watching on as the Otago University Students’ Association (OUSA) tries to join forces with the Dunedin City Council (DCC) to improve student housing. OUSA is hoping to get a local Bill before Parliament that would set up a warrant-offitness scheme for rental properties. Students are calling for warmer, drier and healthier student flats, and hope to enforce a minimum standard for rental properties through Government legislation. Although still in the initial stages of discussion, OUSA hopes the local Bill will raise rental

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houses to what OUSA President Francisco Hernandez called a “first-world standard”. The Government has previously showed signs of considering such schemes, but the issue at hand is that landlords need to “up their game”, says Hernandez. VUWSA President Rory McCourt said OUSA’s approach was a “really interesting idea”, but stated VUWSA will be closely watching the progress in Otago before looking at anything similar. Earlier this year in March, VUWSA sought a bylaw to introduce minimum rental-housing

standards. Wellington City Councillor Iona Pannett said then that regulation for minimum housing standards would be best brought in at the national level. "I think there's quite a big appetite in Wellington at the moment for it, and the Wellington City Council has an opportunity to be a leader in this and show central government how it can work," said VUWSA President Rory McCourt in March. If successful, Otago’s local Bill would only change local law, not national law, meaning Wellington flats would not be affected.

>>> salient.org.nz


 NEWS

National Security College Graduate studies Listen and learn from some of the world’s top academics and practitioners...network with a number of lecturers, government officials and even students working in a range of public service backgrounds. This differentiates the National Security College from other academic schools. – Kara Ali Eskerie, Masters student at NSC and University of Auckland Alumnus CRICOS #00120C | 020713NZ

salient.org.nz <<<

The College provides a policy relevant understanding of the domestic and international security challenges that confront states in the modern era, especially in the Asia-Pacific region. > Become part of the new generation of security analysts and policy makers. > Work for government. > Learn more about national and international security. Discuss your options with Dr Sue Thompson, Graduate Convenor: Wellington Wednesday 7th August, 3-6pm* Auckland Thursday 8th August, 3-6pm* *Dr Thompson will have a presentation at 3.30pm

Info & registration students.anu.edu.au/nz

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NEWS

FROM GRAD TO WORSE? Graduate’s graduate studies studied Monique McKenzie

this week's

ions

iPredict is a prediction market run by Victoria University that has hundreds of stocks on economic, political and social outcomes. The following predictions are supplied by iPredict and may have changed since Salient went to print.

A lot can happen in your first ten years out of university, and a current study is aiming to assess exactly what, with the second round of data collection coming up. The Graduate Longitudinal Study New Zealand (GLSNZ) began in 2011, and tracks graduates over time to assess the impact of a university education. The study explores how graduates fare in the years following university, in terms of their lifestyles, employment, career development, and their health and wellbeing. The study was launched by Universities New Zealand (UNZ), a body made up of the Vice-Chancellors of New Zealand’s eight universities, and is responsible for the quality of university programmes, administering a range of scholarships, and representing universities in the public interest.

During the period August to December 2011, more than 8600 final-year students from across New Zealand’s eight universities were surveyed. These students will be followed up in two more survey-waves after the current wave, which will be conducted at five years (2016) and ten years (2021) since the initial survey in 2011. GLSNZ Director Professor Richie Poulton says one of the advantages of a longitudinal study is that it will help to assess the value of a New Zealand university education.

For more information on the first followup and the next phases of the survey, email enquiries@glsnz.org.nz or visit the Facebook page facebook.com/gradstudy.

Inter-hall rivalry still pointless Emma Hurley

The haka, entitled ‘He Ngeri Ngāti-Wia’, was written for and gifted to Weir House by Kingi Te Ahoaho Gilling Tāhiwi in 1935. It remained dormant until its rediscovery in 2010, when an alumni group gifted the Hall with a 1935 Weir House magazine. In 2011, the haka was adapted by the integration of actions, rhythm and a new verse in order to better reflect Weir House in its modern form. It was performed during that same year on three occasions, but had not been performed

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Pauline Hansen to be Elected to Australian Senate

33%

“[The survey] will provide an unparalleled opportunity to study, in detail, graduates’ lifecourse pathways after graduation,” said Poulton.

Weir’s where the haka is Weir House residents and staff have revitalised a haka that was gifted to the Hall of Residence in 1935, and are preparing for its performance later this year.

To try your luck go to ipredict.co.nz.

Malcolm Turnbull to be Leader of the Australian Liberal Party in Nomination Day

10%

David Cunliffe to be Next Labour Party Leader

42%

again until its reinstatement this year. Current Residential Advisors Ben Appleton and Jayden Blake are leading the 2013 haka, which will include female participants for the first time. Weir House residents Allandria Puna and Te Po Marie Hawaikirangi have made welcome adaptations to the haka, by choreographing feminine movements into the performance. “As a traditional Hall of Residence at Victoria University we are so proud of the special taonga we have in our haka, and will endeavour to ensure this legacy continues”, said Assistant Head of Hall Rayleen Hirini. Residents and staff look forward to viewing the performance of the haka later this year, at the Weir House Academic Dinner.

Duchess of Cambridge to announce another pregnancy in 2014

34%

New Zealand to become a Republic by 2020

10%

>>> salient.org.nz


 NEWS

PERFORMANCE NOT UP FOR DEBATE VUW ‘sports’ team second-best in Australasia

stay classy, world Some baby was born somewhere, or something.

Sophie Boot

Victoria’s Debating Society has lived up to its reputation as New Zealand’s most successful tertiary debating team, placing second at the Australasian Intervarsity Debating Championships (Australs) last Sunday week.

Cross ranked 16th, and O’Neill 25th. Victoria has historically had strong showings at Australs, having made it at least as far as the semi-finals for the past five years. Victoria last won Australs in 2011.

Australs were held from 14 to 22 July in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with a total of 124 teams competing.

2013 has been a strong year for Vic Debsoc, having fielded teams that have won Thropy, the North Island university novice debating tournament, as well as Easters, the New Zealand Impromptu Debating Championships tournament. Victoria has won Easters for the past 15 years running.

The sole Victoria team of Asher Emanuel, Jodie O’Neill and Nick Cross made it through eight preliminary rounds of debating before breaking as the second-highest-ranked team in the tournament. They won their octo-, quarterand semi-finals to make it into the 2013 Australs Grand Final, where they argued that women should be criminally liable for harm to foetuses as a result of their lifestyle choices, against University of Sydney 2. They were defeated in a 5–2 split judging decision. Out of the 372 speakers, Emanuel was named the second-best speaker of the tournament.

LOL NEWS CHROFLIS MCLOLNTYRE

Debsoc Vice-President Olivia Hall said it had been “an amazing year for Debsoc”. “[The team] were runners-up in a competition of 124 teams and have made Vic Debsoc incredibly proud.” Auckland sent five teams, but their top-ranking team bowed out in the octo-finals. Otago sent four teams, while Canterbury sent none.

wrench affixed to the steering column. He was also uninsured, unregistered, disqualified from driving, and breaching his bail: all in all, not a good day. NEXT STOP REDDIT

IT’S THE U TO THE S TO THE S TO THE R It’s less Mos Def, more Moscow as the Russian Army’s latest recruitment drive has seen a rap video recorded to boost signups. "Batman on the inside and Rambo to the crowd, that's our men and officers – shout it out loud!" raps Anton Gubankov, a civil servant who wears a suit jacket and tie in the clip. A spokesman for the Army hoped the video would give “a dose of creativity” and “boost the Army’s authority”.

OFFENSIVE DRIVING Two blown tires weren’t stopping a 38-year-old Australian man stopped in his car by authorities last week. The man was in no danger of falling asleep at the wheel for two reasons: a drug test found the man was high on meth at the time, and police found the steering wheel was actually missing – the man had been using a salient.org.nz <<<

He’s four years old, he wears a fedora, and he’s the Mayor of the small town of Dorset in Minnesota. Robert ‘Bobby’ Tufts governs between 22 and 28 people, which fluctuates as different families go away on holiday. His primary policy revolves around ice cream, with chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, “cottoncandy kind”, and rainbow sherbet his favourite flavours. Bobby was elected on a campaign slogan of "I would love to be your Mayor as much as I love Sophie.” Sophie could not be reached for comment.

In Iraq, al-Qaeda has orchestrated a mass breakout of over 500 prisoners from the notorious Abu Ghraib prison, proving the pullout method is likely to be less than 70-per-cent effective for US and British troops. North Korea’s annual Mass Games have begun in Pyongyang, featuring over 100,000 performers acting in unison and highlighting the DPRK’s careful use of resources. The United Kingdom wants to implement web filters to stop children viewing pornography, through a measure announced by Prime Minister David Cameron. Filters would be able to be deactivated by anyone who could prove they were over 18, or could at least tick a box saying they were. Wellingtonians took to Twitter to say some things about some other thing last week. News media took notice as social-media use reached peak levels after the thing happened, reporting high volumes of tweets and possibly related unconfirmed reports of an earthquake.

headlines that weren't Citizens shocked at media’s use of earthquake puns; journalists at fault Ostensible Sentencing Trust advocates parole for those serving life sentences Man waving hands over stove good conductor of heat Hospital waiting times too long; patients waning Infinite Party not accountable

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POLITICS 

left Questionable Consciences

P O L I

By Carla Marks In the current environment of strict caucus discipline and strong cooperation between the government and support parties, it can often seem like a bill’s fate is decided before it is even introduced to the House. That is, until the occasional bills arise where MPs are given free reign to vote according to their conscience. Such votes are usually taken on ‘sin’ bills, dealing with drinking, gambling, homosexuality, sex, drugs— the fun things in life. So, when our elected representatives cast these votes, whose conscience do they have in mind? Various MPs during the marriage-equality debate claimed to be “talking to their constituents” before making a decision as to their vote. While the feeling of being listened to and having some influence over a law-change is desirable, we need to remember that our system of government is a representative democracy. Our elected representatives are then given the power to make decisions on our behalf, according to the best advice and for the good of the country. To object to this system and to insist that MPs vote according to the will of their constituents conflicts with the very premise of our democracy—that we entrust the person that we elect to make the best decisions on our behalf. Of course, as private individuals, we want our particular opinion to be expressed, but we also want what is best for the country, and these two views might not always accord. To make legislative decisions based on the will of the loudest voices in your electorate might be important to ensure re-election, but they are not necessarily the voices that are objectively providing the best advice. The sticky political wicket with regards to this issue are list MPs. Not beholden to a geographical electorate, it would appear that these mavericks are free to throw their votes about as they see fit and it’s silly to suggest that their votes should represent the whims of the entire nation. Taking all this into account, it is hard to pinpoint just what it is that should inform an MP’s conscience. On all other issues, parties decide as a caucus how they will vote, or are guided by the party’s manifesto or platform. Usually, these policy positions are based on principles, ideology and informed by policy experts. However, it is becoming increasingly apparent that MPs consider the potential electoral ramifications as more important than the rights or principle at stake. Without wanting to insult the intelligence of the New Zealand people, we must acknowledge that public opinion is fickle. As counterintuitive as it seems, it may well be that our democracy is better served by honouring the triennial whim of the people, rather than the weekly.

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 POLITICS

T I C S

right The GCSB Legislation Should Not Pass By Freddie Hayek

TWEETS AND TWATS @PeterDunneMP Off shortly to Hamilton, Solomon Islands and Christchurch - nothing to do with earthquakes, GCSB Bill, or Royal babies @hollyrwalker Baby is having its own personal #eqnz in my belly. Makes it hard to pick the real ones. @Garner_Live Where is NZ's oldest dog? Do you have it? @RadioLIVENZ Drive after 4pm @BenUffindell The thing about David Cunliffe is, he'd lose an election in a landslide because we'd just feel like we didn't deserve him.

CAPTION CONTEST

It is a strange week when I find myself agreeing with Labour and the Greens. As a fiscally conservative and extremely socially liberal Tory, I despise any expansion of the powers of the state. Normally, the LabGreens combination is calling for more state power in our economic and social policy; for once, they are opposing the growth of the powers of government, and I stand with them. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. To be fair to the Government, they inherited the mess at the GCSB. Most of the illegal spying occurred under the previous Labour Government. John Key is trying to clean up the mess that Labour left him with. The Prime Minister is, however, going about this in the wrong way. Clarifying who can be spied on explicitly is a good step. Expanding who the GCSB can spy on is a bad step. Edward Snowden, the NSA, and the Kim Dotcom affair have showed us that our governments are spying on us like never before. It is a massive invasion of privacy, and an overreach by the state. The post-9/11 anti-terrorist security complex is gigantic, invasive and deplorable. Edward Snowden has revealed that the NSA can keep, store and search every piece of electronic data created by you. The GCSB is seeking similar powers and capabilities with this new legislation. Every New Zealander, regardless of how banally, normally and decently they behave, will be tracked like a criminal out on parole. Almost every submission to the special select committee writing this legislation has been negative. If the proposed legislation, as it stands, passes, it will be an egregious assault on the civil rights and privacy of every New Zealander. The most horrifying thing is that powers like those we are about to give to the GCSB are never removed. They are only built upon. A future government under the aegis of some threat yet to come, will only give the GCSB more power. This is how police states are created.

Best caption wins a free coffee at:

Email editor@salient. org.nz to submit your caption! LAST WEEK'S WINNER: STORM

This is very bad legislation. In the words of the world’s greatest dissident, German theologian Martin Luther, “I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me.” In the unlikely event that a National MP reads this, please defy the whips and cross the floor. You owe it to your conscience.

"I just got leid"

salient.org.nz <<<

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CAMPUS DIGEST

CAMPUS DIGEST get amongst "the best" VUW Cupid II #29 James Weston in Econ212 you're sex on a stick you make me want to be your chick. Your tats are so hot, they turn me on, I want to come but I've already gone... Your back, your arms, your eyes, your lips, I want to do things that involve thrusting your hips Look out for me, I'm in front of your eyes, you'll find me if you're very wise. Pip is where we like to hang, holla if you want to bang! X #31 Michelle Christie You make Gina Grimshaw far less grim. I'd write you poetry and cook you food. I am drunk.

Please don't be a tease... P.S I wonder if you have birthmarks anywhere else...I would like to find out #27 anon please...to Kevin Karati, Media Studies undergrad. If you were a condiment you'd be brown sugar, cos damn you so sweet. Keep it up, you give me jungle fever #34

#32 ANON Please!!! I think your name is Will, When I see you my heart won't be still, With a football you have some skill, Commerce is your field of expertise,

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Royal is the new black. Tectonic plates. Cool Dog Group on Facebook.

Overheard @ Vic: James Lynex: Overseen in ECON140: Stephen has no idea

GOING DOWN Tectonic plates. Privacy.

To the RA Joshua Rollo Your manly beard makes my woman parts excited. When I first saw you, you were dressed as a penguin, and from that moment on I wanted to be your bird. Don't worry cowboy, it wouldn't be floorcest Save a horse, ride me!

Class rep for MDIA 321. That is all.

Woman’s Day sales.

Keepa Hipango, Sean Durkin and Geordie Johnson You are three boys who makes my lady parts excited I continuously fantasize about a foursome Law Ball maybe? #Cuties

#20

#44

GOING UP

Sure, the picture goes away in seven seconds, but your Snapchat best-friend list tells everyone who you’re crushin’ on. X Factor relevance. Can you even remember who the Daeshan Wichman Overheard in Mark101: Lecturer - " what are pepsi's strengths ?" Guy - "KFC"

winner was?

OMG VUW Confessions: #579 I used the earthquake as an excuse to kick down the ugly fence around my house so the landlord would have to finally replace it!!

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 CAMPUS DIGEST

SALIENT RATES: coffee on campus

few good deals throughout the week. Their main advantage is the large variety of seating options. Good place to do work if need be. Pipitea

Kelb vicbooks: They have three now! Best coffee if you are an undergrad. The food at the shop is hands-down the best on campus, although $$$wildly overpriced$$$ and the lines are long. If you are only in need of coffee, best to go hit up the one in SUB or the popup shop in the Hub—the lines are much shorter. The staff are all really hot. Milk and Honey: Their long blacks are the best on campus, bar none. Do not heed the word of any postgrad who tries to tell you otherwise; deceit is in their blood. Everything else is as poor as a postgrad’s career prospects AYOOOOO (*sob*). A great place to work on your thesis and distract yourself from your existential crisis! Wishbone: Low expectations are met. Full of Science students: only they and their semiguaranteed jobs can afford it. Gives off airport vibes. The service is fast and some of the food is pretty good. Recommended if you are hangry and not in the mood for chatting; you probably won’t bump into anyone. Louis’: Best for a quick stop if you are in need of snacks. Low expectations met. Again. Their sandwiches are basically bad versions of Wishbone’s. Service is friendly. Got quite a few good deals though, especially with your VUWSA membership card. Ilott theatre: Smells odd. Bloody cheap though. Heard it’s good for hangovers. There is a wide variety of fried goods. The noodles are a bit hit-and-miss, but when they hit, they hit. The Hunter Lounge: Makes you awkwardly wait for your ‘havehere’ coffees by the counter. The food is pretty average, but definitely edible. Plus, they have half-price counter food after 3 and quite a

salient.org.nz <<<

PROBING THE PUNTERS Margin of error: give or take a few

Gales: $3 filter, hits like a brick but ain’t nothing like it. Why not also have a muffin? They give you a choice between soft and crispy, and that is no lie. Incredibly friendly service.

1. Prince George? EXCITED 38%

Mojo: Pretty much like every other Mojo; decent effort made to learn your name, Paul Scott drinks flat whites. Sometimes you might just be another brick in the wall. Pizza is a bonus. The Old Bailey: $2 coffee between 2 and 4.

MEH 62%

2. Does your flat have an earthquake kit?

Karori Marsden Village Cafe: The chais are awful, the coffee isn’t much better. Food is av, but not too overpriced. Filled with teachers and students from 12.30 to 1.30 and bored housewives the rest of the time. Fun practice for your future career! Aro

YES 69%

NO 31%

3. Were you a bit shaken after Sunday's quake?

You’re well catered-for.

YES 44%

Top Ten

NO 56%

carlo salizzo @louderthoughts

Pursuits of Questionable Morality 10. Snapchat Screenshots

4. Are you bored of uni yet?

YES - 44% NO - 56%

9. Family Guy Marathons 8. Twerking 7. Grindr 6. Playing Hard to Get 5. 'Reply All'

5. Do you feel guilty about anything right now? NO 38%

4. Cricket 3. Being Physically Attractive 2. Dealing Meth 1. Economics

YES 62%

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FEATURES • ϟ

" It’s much

harder to bite the hand that feeds when it’s punching you in the face. " 18

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ϟ • FEATURES

CRITICAL INTENTIONS By Henry Cooke You are, I’m guessing, a student. You might not define yourself as such, but it’s true. You are part of academia, an ancient tradition of cultural knowledge that dates back to Plato’s own Akademia in Athens. We may not have centuries of storied history, but hundreds of notable New Zealanders have once called Vic home, from Prime Ministers to Flight-ofthe-Conchords members to John Campbell. Academia—the loose term that describes higher learning and the institutions which support it—is about as elegantly bombastic as 21stcentury life gets. It’s not a job factory; it’s the very genesis of modern culture. Academia is older than the country we live in, older than the language you are reading this in, older than the printed word itself. Even as a relatively young country, New Zealand’s tertiary sector is enshrined with grandiosity. Our Education Act defines academia as both the “critic and conscience” of general society, taking an active role in “advancing knowledge” with a “principle aim to develop intellectual independence”. Most people don’t think for a living, but we, academia, are supposed to—to independently analyse society itself and criticise it where we see fit. Everyone has their own personal conscience, but academia is a collective conscience for us all, independent from economic or political concerns. It’s all a bit wilfully idealistic, but fuck, so’s most of Western thought. Sadly, university life doesn’t always feel so grand. With the job market so uncertain, higher fees than ever before, and an older generation increasingly fed up with paying our student-loan interest, it’s easy to become cynical. Either you are studying something ‘hard’ that will lead to a job, but is supposedly too boring to ever really talk about, or you’re doing a BA majoring in an impending sense of doom. With four papers, a part-time job and a full-time anxiety problem, who really has the time or inclination to act as both a critic and conscience for wider society? Certainly not students, and increasingly, not lecturers either.

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FOLLOW THE MONEY Despite the seemingly exorbitant fees you pay to be here, the Government is actually picking up most of the tab. Government funding makes up the majority of university funding, turning the entire sector into a political football. In times of plenty this isn’t a huge issue—the Government has loads of cash to pour into a “public good” that doesn’t immediately show results. In times of austerity, like the era we have matured in, it can rear its ugly head. The Government funds universities in two major ways: by paying for research and by subsidising student fees. You can see political and economic manoeuvring—anathema to an independently conscientious role—in both of them. First up—guess how much of your fees you are actually paying? A fraction. The Government sets a certain amount of domestic Equivalent Full Time Students (EFTS) that they will fund for each university. Each EFTS (this can be two part-time students or one full-time student) pays a certain percentage of their fees— around a quarter for my papers—and the Government picks up the rest. International students that aren’t on exchanges pay “full fee”, without government help. You can see the difference between the subsidised rate and the full-fee rate on any course page: POLS111 costs $786 for a domestic student, or $3475 for an international student. In 2010, Minister for Tertiary Education Steven Joyce froze the cap on subsidised EFTS students. Victoria ended up refusing new enrolments in Trimester Two of 2010, and enacting more stringent requirements on new enrolments. His reasons for this were fairly clear. Universities needed to be producing employable adults, not debt. “Ultimately I want to see funding linked to employment outcomes,” he

remarked at the time. “This will send a strong signal to students about which qualifications and which institutions offer the best career prospects—and that’s what tertiary education has got to be about.”

SUFFER THE HUMANITIES Job factories. Joyce didn’t come right out and say that’s what he wanted universities to be, but he certainly gave that impression. Not an intellectual sphere of influence but an upper-class polytech. Indeed, one can observe these priorities within which disciplines the Government chooses to fund well. Victoria EFTS funding was once again frozen for 2013, save for targeted increases in fields the Government expects to flourish: two per cent for Science and eight per cent for Engineering. Employment outcomes are not necessarily a bad idea, but they don’t always mesh so well with academia’s role as a conscientious critic of wider society. As New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations Executive Director Alistair Shaw points out, higher education is about more than employment. “It’s about creating a citizenry, encouraging people to contribute to society in a whole range of ways, not just find a job.” VUWSA President Rory McCourt, unsurprisingly, agrees with him. “There are certainly employers out there who want people to operate machines and to fill vacancies, but I think the university has a higher purpose than that,” he claims. “This should be the place for debate, the place where we can hold up a mirror to society and say, ‘this is what you are, would you like to be something different?’” It’s certainly a laudable goal, but is it a realistic one? University attendance didn’t wildly increase after the global financial crisis because people were suddenly hungering for a more considered thought process—they needed jobs. There is nothing inherently wrong with

The more you pay for your degree, the more you expect from it. 19


FEATURES • ϟ

This should be the place for " can hold up a mirror to so you are, would you like to gainful employment, and it’s much easier to sit around thinking about stuff all day when you come from wealth, as most academics have throughout history.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR DEGREE University costs a whole lot more money than it used to. Your parents probably didn’t even consider a student loan. From a financial standpoint, spending tens of thousands of dollars on something that doesn’t result in a job is pretty fucking whack. “There has been a shift in the conception of university degrees from being a ‘public good’ to a private investment,” writes Sociology lecturer and past president of the Tertiary Education Union Sandra Grey. This has led to “a commodification of tertiary qualifications”. The more you pay for your degree, the more you expect from it. Students are now making demands “as consumers,” Grey claims, rather than learners. McCourt agrees.“In today’s age, you put thousands and thousands of dollars of your own money in; you should expect to get a job on the other side.” When people ask, “What do you do?”, what springs to mind? Do you blurt out your majors and minors without a second thought, or do you take a second to remember exactly what you are paying thousands of dollars a year for? Do you recite it in a derisive tone, signifying your utter

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disgust with this position of supposed intellectual importance? Do you mention university at all? I’m a full-time Humanities student who writes for a fucking student magazine, but it still always takes a second to remember that I study at all. I’m a student, yeah, but it isn’t really how I define myself, it isn’t how I see my life. I’m not attempting to solve society's problems with this essay, I’m attempting to solve my problem of ‘this is due tomorrow and I have work at 8 am’. According to Shaw, I’m not alone. “It’s much harder these days for many people to focus exclusively on their study,” he claims, citing the part-time jobs most of us have in order to live. Furthermore, almost half of Victoria students didn’t even change cities to be here—an increasingly urban population has resulted in a student body who can often live at home, and continue living their lives the exact same way they did in high school. It’s hard to criticise your parents’ voting choices when you don’t pay rent. It’s hard to feel like a ‘student’ when you’re only at uni for a few hours a day. And if you don’t feel like a student, you probably aren’t acting like one. “If I stood up in POLS111 and just said ‘Fuck politics, let’s riot’, nobody would follow me,” claims Political Science Senior Lecturer Jon Johansson. “20 years ago they might have.” He sees our generation as the product of Rogernomics—‘80s political reform which favoured capitalism, and which is why universities cost so much in the first place—and the internet,

which has individualised us to the nth degree. We are “far more acutely aware of [our] selfinterest,” he says, and I kind-of agree with him. How often do you have tuts where people are contributing for more than just brownie points? How much do you hate group assignments? Would you ever consider paying to be a member of VUWSA? For better or worse, ‘students’ aren’t a definable political group any more, and most people don’t want to hear the opinions of some random 19-year-old by themselves. Luckily, academia is much more than just students.

ALWAYS BE PUBLISHING Students are what most people think when they think ‘university’—including us. We do bring in the majority of the funds, but the “conscience” the Education Act refers to means much more than just PHIL106. Most of New Zealand’s population aren’t currently students, but academics still reach them—in the paper, in books, on talk shows. Or rather, they should. Academics are an invaluable resource to the public. They spend their lives understanding and analysing complex phenomena, the stuff many of us would never have time to fully understand. When New Zealand decided to change its electoral system, from the unfair but simple First Past the Post (FPP) to the complex but fair Mixed Member Proportional (MMP), academics proved

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r debate, the place where we ociety and say ‘this is what o be something different?' " invaluable, providing independent, non-partisan advice on which system to choose. This role, however, is diminishing. “I simply cannot see the point of doing what I do unless I’m engaged with the public”, claims Johansson—and he does, regularly appearing on political television and providing comment for media stories. His thoughts are echoed by Grey. “It’s academics’ role to be that critic and conscience for wider society,” she states, both by “engaging our students to examine the world around them and to critically engage in the public debates” and adding to the public discourse themselves. Sadly, the “public intellectual” appears to be in decline. You still see their comments on a science story here and there, but never on anything social or cultural. Their impact on the conversation has diminished significantly, and they’ve barely put up a fight. Why? Well, why bother calling up an academic when Google can answer your question? Why answer the phone when it won’t help your career in any way? According to Johansson and Grey, the universities have hugely shifted what they encourage academics to focus on, from critical thought into research output. If you want a promotion, published research which the general public will never read is a pretty solid bet. Meanwhile, there is no performance indicator for your role as a “critic and conscience” of society, other than the hazy “public contribution”. Why are the universities demanding research? Duh, funding.

salient.org.nz <<<

The government, through the PBRF system, demands not only research, but outputtable research. That is, journal articles, which according to Grey, “is a very specific method of knowledge generation and theory” that favours some disciplines over others. It’s also much easier to get published with very specialised research, which Johansson decries as “academics talking more and more about things that matter less and less.”

who do speak out [...] It makes people think twice.” It’s much harder to bite the hand that feeds when it’s punching you in the face. “Any time you have governments that come down quite heavily on institutions that try to engage in autonomous activity, it has a chilling effect,” observes Grey. “I find myself reassuring people that it’s okay to fulfil that function, it’s okay to engage in critical debate, it’s okay to be critical of your own institutions.”

All this research, while often important, requires a lot of time, and very little of it makes its way into the public discourse. “There’s an overemphasis on measuring research” claims McCourt, “We’ve stopped measuring good teaching and good learning.” Why? According to Grey, research is the best way for an academic to get promoted, while engaging with the public on a wider level is rarely considered. “Our critic and conscience role and our engagement with the community has kind of dropped off the bottom of the ladder,” she claims, “we’ve especially seen a quietening down on social issues.”

Cynicism isn’t wisdom, but it definitely feels like it. Faced with a job market that prefers experience to knowledge, a government who are obviously sick of how much you cost, and an older generation who can’t get over their own academic glory days, I wouldn’t blame you for feeling a little shit about uni. University feels like the least responsible option after high school, except for all the others. I hiccuped the year after high school, plunging myself into a design degree I ended up dropping entirely. In purely financial terms, I lost around seven thousand dollars with no tangible benefit—not even any points cross credited. If I look at my life as more than just dollars and cents and employment outcomes, it taught me a completely different way of thinking about the world. I start every trimester of my new degree thinking I’ve got the world pretty much figured out, and I’m wrong every single time. If that isn’t worth fighting for, not much is.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY This “quietening down” isn’t just a lack of time—it’s a genuine fear. “Academics are less autonomous today than they were in the past,” states Grey. “People are put off by the rhetoric of our political leaders, of the attacking of people

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FEATURES • ϟ

an hour with gower From breaking news to—more often than not—making the news, Patrick Gower has made quite the splash this year in his new role as [ITALICS: 3 News] Political Editor. Co-Editors Stella Blake-Kelly and Molly McCarthy caught up with a former Salient sports columnist turned 'TV personality' down at Parliament's Press Gallery to hear his thoughts on the media's role as a critic and conscience in New Zealand. What did you study at vic? Back in the 90s I studied Politics with Honours, between 1995 and 1999. I finished my BA, and was pretty surprised that I had a degree, and then I did Honours. Then my parents were really starting to panic because they couldn’t understand what I was doing, so I did my journalism course at the end of that. I have really cool memories of living in Vic House, on Fairlie Terrace, and Adams Terrace in particular, which got no natural light for a whole year. We used to go and drink at the Lazy Shag, which was the Uni pub—$2 handles would you believe. Have you always wanted to end up in the press gallery? I was always interested in politics, which is why I ended up going to Vic because it was near Parliament. And doing politics there I thought that I would maybe become something like—would you believe—a policy analyst. Thankfully I got interested in journalism, started doing stuff at Salient because I needed to build some experience to go do my

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journalism course. Then when I went into journalism I sort of forgot about politics and wanting to go into the press gallery, because I went and did other things. I’ve been a crime reporter, I’ve been an investigative reporter, working Hamilton. That exciting place. I used to think of [myself] as the Herald’s foreign correspondent. And it was ages and ages until I eventually came back, I’d given up on coming here. But now here I am would you believe; I still can’t believe it myself sometimes. Were you involved in any of the youth political groups? No I was the complete opposite, I was really apathetic. I was kind of a rugby head, drinking, normal kind of uni student, I was not interested in student politics one little bit. In fact I found some of the student politicians pretty frightening. And some of them I still see now, like Darren Hughes, and Chris Hipkins... But not me, I was the kind of guy who thought I was cool because I wore brown clothes... I was spending far too much time in my op shop clothes to be interested in student politics.

Would you describe yourself as a ‘media personality’? Well, yes, I guess I am. But I wouldn’t like to call myself that. I kind of realise that I am, but it was never my goal. Political reporter for TV3 was my first role in TV, so before that I was a print journalist... Becoming a TV personality was never my thing. I realise some people call me that now, but in my own heart of hearts, I’m a journalist, I’m a journo... If I looked at a list of reasons why I do my job, being a TV personality would be really down quite low. But chasing stories and finding out things that people don’t want you to know, and communicating with people and just telling stories would be really high. The fame side would be really down low, with things I don’t really enjoy. Probably above or equal to wearing a suit and tie everyday, which is something that I don’t really like doing either. How have you found the difference in political reporting from print to TV? It was a massive change. I always said that in print it’s like working with a scalpel, because you can really get into the nitty gritty, and you can be really specialised and direct. And you can work with complex issues really easily. In TV you’ve got to drop the scalpel, and they hand you an axe. It can be really effective to use, but it’s nowhere near as delicate as working in print. It’s funny when you look back, because I really wanted to be a long form journalist. But here I am, as you guys say, a ‘TV personality’. What happened?

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Have you got a different way of going about stories for TV, do you feel you have more weight to throw around? I don’t like to think of it that way... No journalist should ever get into the job because they want power or influence or anything like that. It’s not about that, and if you’re in it for that you’re in it for the wrong reasons. Ultimately what journalism is about in here, and anywhere else, is about responsibility. It’s not about power.

No journalist should ever get into the job because they want power or influence or anything like that

Do you think you yourself have always been responsible? Yep, absolutely. I have no real regrets. Journalism is a real human thing, no one is perfect. It’s a craft, and you’re up against all sorts of different pressures. And at the end of the day you’ve got to get it right. But at the end of the day, I’m here for the right reasons. I wouldn’t go through the stuff that I do every day if I was here because I wanted to be a personality or something, it wouldn’t be worth it. What motivates me is doing the right thing, my core journalistic values and stuff like that. And that includes being responsible and ethical, and accurate all the time. And I really do sleep easy at night because I know that I’m doing the right thing here, and if ever I felt that I wasn’t, I would just get out of it and go do something else. I really do in my 15 years of journalism have no real regrets. But at the same time you’ve always got to reflect on what you’re doing... because I have got a big responsibility... all the experience I’ve got, I’ve got a duty to use it properly. During the time that you’ve been involved in political coverage, how do you think the types of stories the press gallery is covering has changed? In the last five years or so I don’t think it’s changed a lot. And it’s funny... the criticisms of the press gallery, that they are hunting as a pack, too focused on the game and not policy, and stuff like that... I mean I seem to remember those before I got into journalism. And I think the criticisms—despite all the technological changes that have happened in the last five years—were the same. I don’t think things have changed a lot since I’ve been here. I don’t think it’s become any more or any less aggressive. It’s stayed pretty constant... But it’s funny, when I came in here there was no such thing as Twitter. And

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now Twitter is obviously pretty big, as we’ve seen by some recent events... [laughs] ...it’s having some effect and stuff... Contrary to some commentators, I don’t think things have got any more aggressive in here or there’s been any less focus or whatever. I think some of those criticisms are valid, and we should always be listening to what people are thinking, but it’s pretty much stayed the same since I’ve been here. Have the kinds of stories that people are interested in changed over the years? Are people more interested in the personality stories, like the Aaron Gilmores and the Brendan Horans? It’s hard to say, but of course they are. The world has become—and the media—has become much more interesting than it was, say, 30 years ago... Attention spans have changed, the way that people access that information has changed, and it’s just changing every day, [using] smart phones on the bus home. And people probably do want a bit more personality, but at the same time they still want to know and need to know what’s going on around this place. I think that the personality politics side of thing is not taking over the more other important things by any stretch. These are just little zits that are popping up from time to time. Do you think there’s too much focus on game over policy at the moment? That’s the real crux of things, isn’t it, it’s a really interesting issue. Because say for instance last night, I did a story on loan to value ratios that are set by the Reserve Bank which would affect the amount of money people have to save up before they get a mortgage. It’s a really really big issue. It’s all about people getting into their first homes,

whether they’ll be able to do it, whether young people will ever be able to buy a house in Auckland. It’s critical to the Kiwi way of life, it’s huge. And people are interested, but it doesn’t get the explosive attention from the public that stories like Aaron Gilmore do... The media is a funny thing in some senses, you can do stories that are really relevant to the way people live, and the policies and stuff, and then the game can get interesting and even turn into a bit of a circus, and that’s what people tune into. And as a journalist it’s quite often you’re like ‘Oh, why aren’t you watching my stories on loan to value ratios?’, and it’s kind of frustrating sometimes. Because for me, the Aaron Gilmore thing was not a big deal, it was festering for a few days, but it’s not something at the end of the year that I sit back and go ‘Oh great, the Aaron Gilmore story’—that’s not one of the highlights of the year for me. But it is something that the public get interested in, and it brings up questions whether we should be focusing more on policy... [But] the public like it when it gets exciting sometimes, it’s a tricky balance. Sometimes we’re misunderstood, the press gallery journalists. What I was getting at with the housing policy story before, is that we do do policy stuff all the time, and people don’t really notice. We could go down and print out a massive list of stories I’ve done this year, on asset sales, minimum wage, youth minimum wage, retirement age, stories on taxes—we really do do them. But the things that flare up and put politics in the public eye are usually issues to do with the game. Rogue MPs and stories that have a slightly sensational side to them, and they do show up more than my loan to value ratio of last night. Which I’m getting increasingly bitter about that people haven’t noticed.

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…Everyone has a responsibility with that. So, we could ignore Aaron Gilmore or Richard Prosser or whatever, and go down and cover a Select Committee, but the public wouldn’t watch it, and in bigger numbers either. And it’s kind of like a sort of chicken and the egg thing, what comes first there too. And everyone, the journalists, the producers, the networks, and the viewers and the readers have a responsibility. If they didn’t like it, we’d stop doing it. Last year I was in America for their election campaign. Man, things are fucked over there. If we think we’ve got problems here with too much horse race, or too much game, or whatever, in their election campaign I was there for the last 10 days, and they did not talk about—and this is not a word of a lie—you could not get any gauge from watching it of what the policies were or what the policy differences were. There was no discussion of policy whatsoever. There was plenty of Hollywood shows and big speeches each day, with rockstars beforehand, and incredible rhetoric by both candidates, and wallto-wall coverage, and polls, and everything else. But if you wanted to find a policy difference... you just really couldn’t identify anything. I know that next year there will be much more focus on policy in election year during the election campaign. We do stories comparing policies and everything. I think people are pretty well up on things by the time election day rolls round, the differences in the sides. Do you think New Zealand is heading in that same direction? I really don’t think we are. I don’t think that the public wants something like that. We do get push back from the public when we go too far on things here, and I just cannot see a time... The race here is far more presidential than it has been at each election, yes there’s more need for big impact during election campaigns. Will we see an election campaign where we’ve just got two candidates banging on, saying the same thing day after day, and not engaging with the media? Nah. Not in my lifetime I don’t think. Especially with this political system, MMP. America likes to think it’s the home of democracy, but it’s just not. I don’t think the New Zealand public would take it, they’re just not that apathetic... You’ve got half the country not voting over there. We had a low turnout last time, but nothing like over there. I don’t

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think we’re on some slippery slope to American politics, and actually it’s my job to make sure we’re not. But it’s also my job to get people interested in politics, and sometimes that means taking the piss out of these guys. Sometimes what happens around here is ridiculous and entertaining, and why shouldn’t it be? Low voter turnout is particularly high amongst youth—if the media has a responsibility to get people interested, are they failing when it comes to youth? Well that’s a good question. Why aren’t the young people getting out and voting? Is it because we’re not here doing really worthy stories about boring but significant things? I don’t think that would get more people out to vote, I really really don’t. But at the same time do they look at this place and think it’s a crazy place with people running round with suits and ties on? Because that’s not necessarily going to encourage people to vote or not. Like at the last election I did lots of stories on the youth minimum wage... because I thought it was important to do stories about young people... We’ve all got a responsibility to just keep politics alive, interesting, relevant, so that young people do what they need to do—which is get out there and vote and have their say... It’s a no-brainer that we have to find ways to get them interested in politics, full stop. It’s for the good of society, it’s for the good of everyone involved. So please watch guys! When we asked our readers if they had any questions, the VicLabour President asked ‘Why are you such a... C-word?’ Did he say a g in front of the c?

There was no g in front of the c. Gutted! No g in front of the c! Does the flack you get in the twittersphere from all the hacks and such get to you? It sort of does and it sort of doesn’t. What you do find when you’re doing a story, if it’s on the right and when they’re in the gun, you get a lot of flack from people on the right. When you’re doing a story about the left, you get a similar amount from them. And what’s good about it—and keep it coming guys—is that people are engaging. And yup, I'm reading it all, and some of it’s pretty bad, and some of them have valid points and stuff as well. But what’s good is that people are passionate about their politics and their side of the team and where they want New Zealand to go. And that is part of the job, if people weren’t doing that I’d be really worried because it would show that they’re not interested. So keep it coming guys. I usually cope by mowing the lawns, but it’s been really wet lately. So it’s been a tough winter with all these Labour guys. Are the left or right meaner? They are both as mean as each other. And they say similar things, and sometimes they both criticise me on a story for different reasons. That’s when things get really confusing... My wife sometimes sees it and is horrified. But I can’t stand up here and dish it out if I couldn’t take it.

read more online For the remainder of ‘Hour with Gower’, including questions on the infamous Labour letter and Dunne & Vance, head to salient.org.nz.

We’ve all got a responsibility to just keep politics alive, interesting, relevant, so that young people do what they need to do >>> salient.org.nz


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JUDGING THE JUDGES

in their role as the consciences of our society, we charge our judges with huge responsibility when it comes to making decisions about right and wrong. Should we be taking responsibility to make sure justice is being served?

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We’ve become so saturated with these headlines about punishment and crime and so on and so forth in recent years, we actually forget that crime rates in this country have been in decline for about 15 years

By Molly McCarthy For a long time now, judges have had it pretty good in New Zealand. Protected in their decision-making by a number of laws and conventions designed to uphold the principles of judicial independence, the judiciary has long been considered the most trusted branch of government. But the mood is shifting. The outcomes of recent high-profile criminal trials, like that of Ewen McDonald, have left victims with a bitter taste in their mouths. Everyone has an opinion about how justice should be served in New Zealand, and the voices of those who think the judges have got it all wrong just keep getting louder. Newspaper headlines decry ‘travesties of justice’; callers to talkback radio bemoan the plight of victims, and little by little, lobby groups like the Sensible Sentencing Trust build a bolder case in their campaign for harsher sentences, stricter bail conditions, and a more accountable judiciary. Picking up on this national mood, earlier this year the New Zealand Herald ran a week-long investigative series on the topic of judicial accountability, culminating in an app that allowed readers to ‘Be The Judge’, and choose their own sentences based on the facts of real

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cases. While the results of readers’ sentencing had absolutely no bearing on the severity of the decisions handed out in our nation’s courts, the interactive feature begged the question: should individuals have more of a say in what justice looks like? Do our judges need to be judged?

Counting on Accountability: As any 100-level Politics or Law student will be able to tell you, an independent judiciary has long been regarded as an essential element of any successful democracy. In order to do justice, so the theory goes, judges must be able to operate as separately as possible from the other branches of government, so as to avoid political influence and to maintain public confidence in the justice system. An independent judiciary, however, does not mean one that is immune from accountability. As history has taught us, unchecked power can be a dangerous thing: “It is a wellrecognised democratic principle that no branch of government should have power without accountability. Judges should be accountable for their decisions,” says Ruth Money, National Spokesperson for the Sensible Sentencing Trust. Dr Yvette Tinsley, Associate Professor of Law at Victoria University, agrees that it is important that judges, just like any professionals, are subject to some description of accountability for their decisions. “We all must have some measure of accountability in our professional lives, no matter what our profession, and judges should not be exempt from that.” She points to

a number of checks already in place to ensure that the judiciary is accountable, such as the opportunity to appeal decisions to higher courts, and accountability to individuals like the Chief judges of the District and High Courts and the independent Judicial Conduct Commissioner. On an even more basic level, for every decision a judge makes, they are required to produce a written, reasoned judgment outlining their decision—which is in turn subject to scrutiny by the media, academics and the public. According to the Sensible Sentencing Trust, these measures aren’t enough. In May, the Trust launched their website Judge the Judges, with the aim of educating the public and increasing support for a more transparent and accountable judiciary. “Ultimately, we want judges to make decisions that put victims first, with offenders’ ‘rights’ well down the list of considerations,” reads the site’s mission statement. Money says there are a number of ways in which accountability could be improved, including recertification for judges, mandatory professional development, and reviews of decisions that result in death. The site also purports to increase transparency. As Money explains, gaining access to the sentencing notes judges rely on to make their decisions can take a long time, which limits the transparency of the judicial process. The Trust supports the idea of developing an online system where notes can be easily accessed; in the interim, “[Judge the Judges] will educate the public by providing case summaries we have been able to access so they can understand the sentencing process in a measured and informed way.” Visitors to the site are invited to view the

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Judiciaries are one of the cornerstones of Western democracies. If you start playing about with those cornerstones, then any society where that is happening is in big trouble details of various high-profile criminal cases and decide for themselves whether the “hands the judges have dealt” are fair. Featuring design reminiscent of a dealer’s table in a casino, Judge the Judges names and shames the judges or ‘Jokers’ who offer low sentences, while praising the ‘Aces’ of the judiciary who dished out harsher sentences. While Money says that the site is intended first and foremost to “provoke thought and reflection”, its approach has been slammed by politicians, academics, and legal professionals, who say that it will do nothing to improve the system. “Targeting individual judges who cannot answer for themselves will not create any sense of judicial accountability... targeting an individual judge could only have the effect of intimidating that judge, putting that judge under pressure and making that judge's life difficult,” Crown Solicitor Simon Moore QC told Radio New Zealand By simplifying and sensationalising the facts of well-known murder cases, the site is unlikely to assist individuals in developing “measured and informed” opinions. Tinsley describes measures such as Judge the Judges as “rather blunt instruments”. “I don't think [the site] is likely to achieve much by way of true accountability—such websites do not usually take

account of some of the issues in the case that may explain a particular sentence.”

A Matter of Public Opinion? In a democracy, institutions must have legitimacy in the eyes of the people they claim to represent in order for their decisions to be accepted and respected by society. In this way, it is important that public expectations and opinions of the judiciary and its decisions do play some role in the development of the justice system. In the Trust’s view, says Money, this means that, “It is the judges’ responsibility to make decisions that are responsive to, and reflective of, contemporary public expectations”. However, in relying on public opinion, Tinsley warns, we must ensure that that opinion is objectively informed about the issues. Initiatives like the Judge the Judges site, which present “a skewed set of information”, are unlikely to develop public expectations which will lead to better outcomes and better policy, she says. Both Tinsley and John Pratt, Professor of Criminology at Victoria, point to numerous studies which show that, while in the abstract most members of the public think that judges are

too lenient, when presented with the actual facts of the cases, they consistently choose sentences that are less severe than the judges’. Those who call for judges to impose harsher sentences in line with public expectations, then, are “in for a rude surprise,” says Pratt. “Basically all those people are saying is, ‘Look, we think that judges should have to sentence according to what we think is the right penalty in this case’.” In determining what constitutes public opinion, Pratt says it is important not to become distracted by “loud voices”. “What exactly do you mean by public opinion? Do you mean sensational headlines in the newspapers? Or callers to talkback radio... Those are simply people with loud voices. Empty vessels make the most noise anyway, as my mother always used to tell me.” In addition to presenting a misinformed view of what exactly it is that the public expects from the judiciary, these skewed representations can also create problems where they don’t exist. “We’ve become so saturated with these headlines about punishment and crime and so on and so forth in recent years, we actually forget that crime rates in this country have been in decline for about 15 years or so, as they have been in virtually all other Western countries. By and large, the crime problem in this country

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Why should ignorance be allowed to isn’t great, and it’s entirely manageable,” explains Pratt. Indeed, over the last 15 years, there has been a 30.4-per-cent decrease in New Zealand’s national crime rate, yet the number of people in our prisons has doubled. In other words, rather than being too lenient, judges are locking up more offenders than ever before.

Beyond Prisons: Our overall crime rate may be in decline, but the rate of reoffending is not. In 2010, 61.9 per cent of people reoffended within the first two years of leaving prison, an increase from a reoffending rate of 55.4 per cent in 2005. We may be sending more people to prison, but if the goals of punishment are deterrence and rehabilitation (and not just retribution), it’s not clear that we are attaining them. More effective sentencing doesn’t necessarily mean harsher sentencing. While Tinsley notes that, in practical terms, a longer prison sentence will stop a particularly “prolific” offender from reoffending for as long as they are physically incapable of doing so, increased time behind bars does not necessarily have any positive effect on reoffending once they are released. “Simply detaining people does not make for a change in behaviour once we do eventually release them.” Pratt agrees: “If anything, higher sentences are probably more likely to make the people who get them reoffend when they come out... if you cut someone off from virtually all their contacts and life outside

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have such an important say on the development of penal policy? the prison and give them next to nothing in terms of rehabilitation... the longer they’re subjected to those pressures, the more likely it is that they’re going to have severe problems readjusting to life when they come to the end of their sentence.” In cases of violent offending, no amount of punishment will ever undo the crime that has been committed, nor—as Tinsley and Pratt point out—will a punishment that “puts victims first” necessarily stop it from happening again. When looking to sentencing, then, decisions need to be made with more than mere retribution in mind. “We need to ensure that we aren't being more punitive than is necessary, and that we are trying to achieve more than simple incapacitation,” explains Tinsley. How then, can the situation be improved? When asked to identify the main issues facing criminal justice in New Zealand, Pratt points to high rates of addiction, mental-health issues and illiteracy among prisoners as sticking points in the process of rehabilitation. The National Government, he says, is doing more than Labour did to ensure that prisoners get real assistance while they are in prison, but there is still a long way to go. Moreover, rather than relying on sentencing as the

ambulance at the bottom of the cliff, we should be paying more attention to solutions that exist outside of the courts. “Instead of looking to the penal system to try to provide solutions to this terrible baggage of problems that people bring with them to prison... it would make a lot more sense if we had social and educational policies and health and welfare policies that prevented those kinds of problems developing in the first place.” *** When it comes to questions of justice, it can sometimes be unclear whether the decisions made are the right ones. In seeking to improve the system, we must remember that the society—the “us”—we’re seeking to improve, includes both offenders and victims. “What standards of treatment would we expect to be applied to us or one of our family members should we be arrested?” asks Tinsley. “Those are the standards that should apply—the reality is that it could be us or our family member, and when we make the rules we should try to ensure that we are fair.” Only then will justice be served. Photographs by Andrew Jacombs / New Zealand Law Society

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from grad to bad Just two months after finishing the final papers of his undergraduate degree, Tilden* found himself in a cell in Rimutaka Prison, facing charges against his name that could land him with a 14-year sentence. Six months on from his arrest, and still yet to enter his plea of innocence before the courts, Tilden reflects on his experiences with justice. Interview by Molly McCarthy

What happened when you were first arrested? There was a loud bang as the door opened and then about ten armed offenders came in. We were completely taken by surprise. There was lots of yelling: “Put your arms behind your head and lie on the ground! Put your hands behind your head and lie on the ground!” I complied with that and then had my arms cable-tied very tightly behind my back. Then they took me outside and gave me a yarn, and said that I was under arrest. I was forced to take off all my clothing—that was bagged up as evidence to be tested, and I was put in a white painting jumpsuit that made me look like a criminal. Next, they took me to the station and I had a chappy interview me there for about three hours, before they finally gave me some water and some food. After that I was taken to the holding cells at the bottom of the police station where I stayed overnight. The next day I was taken out to Rimutaka prison at about 7 am, after having some Weet-Bix and some tea. How were you feeling during the whole process? To start off with I was a bit shocked, obviously. After that I just kind of wanted it to be over because I was going out for dinner with my

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girlfriend that night, and I hadn’t done anything wrong. I wanted to help, but at the same time I didn’t want to be there, and then after a few hours of questioning, when they brought up that they’d found some [incriminating evidence], I was shocked and then started saying, “No comment, no comment, no comment.” I realised that I was in a fuckload of shit, and it was pretty gut-wrenching. Once you were in prison, was it how you expected it would be? To a degree it was. I never expected to go to prison and it was quite a shock, but it was what I expected. What were the other prisoners that you met there like? I was on segregation the whole time, for my own protection. But I had chats with the guy next to me at night; he was young, he was Māori, he had a kid, he’d been done for aggravated assault and shoplifting. He was a good dude, just institutionalised. I found that after a day and a half, even I started to talk like them a bit. When Mum and Dad picked me up they were like, “You’ve got to stop this immediately,” and I was like “Sorry,” but you just [puts on voice] “start talking like you’re in prison, aeeee.” What has your experience with the justice system been like?

Then I have to go down to the court, get a new one, print it out, wait around. How would you say the experience has changed your perspective on the police? It hasn’t changed my view on the police much; if anything, I think they’re more thorough than I thought they were, but at the same time, I feel like sometimes they decide what they want, for example, “We want to arrest some drug-related people,” or, “We want to find some burglars,” and they just don’t stop until they get it. So it’s just a matter of achieving goals that they’ve already set? It feels like they can’t just back down and say, “Okay, this guy has nothing to do with it.” Instead they just catch the first fish, don’t care what fish it is, and throw it off to the courts and then the courts have to deal with it—and they wonder why the courts are all being fucked. I did not know the courts could be that slow and useless. It’s amazing. Has it changed choices that you’ve made or goals that you have now? Yeah, definitely. It’s definitely changed me. I’ve vowed never ever to go back to prison—not that I ever planned on going to prison. I’ve changed my life. Even though I had nothing to do with the illegal activity, and am 100-per-cent innocent, the experience has definitely changed me. I live in fear of going to back to prison.

The process of justice is abhorrently terrible— it’s the slowest, most ridiculous thing I’ve come across in a long time.

In terms of the case against you so far, do you feel that you have been treated fairly?

The last two times I’ve had to get a new bail bond signed they’ve tried to chuck in that I can’t consume alcohol, and I’m just like, “No, that’s bullshit—it’s got nothing to do with my charges,” but they just write it up on the charge sheet.

I don’t know. Nothing has been treated at this stage, nothing’s happened. I haven’t given my plea yet. Next week I give my plea of not guilty. So we’ll see how well they take that. And it’s six months since it all happened. I mean, I fully

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understand, I want them to be in-depth in their decision of justice, but at the same time, what am I supposed to do, just put my life on hold for six months? How am I supposed to apply for jobs when they ask, “Do you have any impending charges? If so, please detail.” All they have to do is google my name. Do many people know about the charge? Soon after, quite a few acquaintances or people that I hadn’t seen in a while who I saw were like: “Fuck, are you alright bro? I didn’t expect to see you, I thought you’d be in prison. Fuck, are you alright?” I kind of got sick of it after a while. People know, but I feel like it’s already been so long that people have moved past it. They ask me how it’s going and I tell them that I haven’t even been to court yet. But their lives go on. Has it affected how people act towards you? Definitely, and definitely my employers as well. I was in line and should have taken my duty manager’s licence so I could start managing at this bar, and they said I have to wait until the court case is over. I need to find a new job. I told them I was innocent, but I’m just going through this shit. They were understanding, but at the same time they don’t want to try and make me a manager in case it backfires. Has it changed your perspective on how other people get themselves involved in these situations? Kind of. The buzziest dude I met was this guy called Rangi Whitecliffe, who at one time was in the top ten of New Zealand’s most wanted criminals for burglary. He had been charged for over 100 or 400 counts of burglary. He had the saddest life story. He was the product of rape; he was raped himself when he was 11 or something; he went to this child institution that was apparently in the news because they molested and mistreated all the children; he was given shock therapy and shit like that. He was covered in tattoos and he said his favourite one was the one on his leg that he’d done himself when he was seven—it was a hill and some seagulls and a tree. I felt so sorry for him because he had just

been on a big P binge or whatever and he was quite happy that he’d been arrested because he was like, “I needed a break, just going back to prison for a bit.” He said it himself, “I’m institutionalised, I don’t know how to act out there with all this crazy shit going on, and there’s all these drugs, and I’m quite happy back in prison.” He’d been in all the prisons in the country; he’d run a gang at one point. He knew enough people that prison was a great place for him. Only just last year he’d got $25,000 out of the court case from when he was a child and molested. He was smart in that he’d given it all to one dude who he trusted, and when he got to prison the first thing he did was call that dude and say, “I’m in prison, send $100 a week, chur bro.” $100 a week in prison buys you heaps of shit.

Nah, they were all similar. Mark* was scared shitless. Not that I wasn’t scared, but I definitely didn’t let it show, because I figured there was no point showing weakness in prison. But at the same time, we just saw and heard from people; we never actually encountered them, apart from in the holding cells and waiting rooms.

Did you have much experience of how prison politics work while you were there?

Are you worried about the outcome of your case?

Not the politics at all, but basically they’ve got a tuck shop you can buy from once a week—you can get chips and noodles and shit like that. I also heard from my cell neighbour how if you have nicotine patches (because they don’t let you smoke anymore), you soak tea leaves in them, and you can make tea baccies and you roll it up and smoke it. I asked him how you light it, and he said you get the radio and open up the back and cross the wires and make a spark. I was like, “Fuck,” and he was like, “Yeah, I got stoned yesterday,” and I was like, “Faaaaaaar.”

I’m not, but at the same time I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’m still considering the percentage chance that I may get fucked around by the law. But I feel I haven’t done anything, and looking at the evidence, there’s no evidence of me doing anything incriminating, so I struggle to see how I’m going to get fucked around. But, you know, I gotta keep my options open.

Do they get money to buy things with or does it all come from an outside source?

I was more immediately worried about my parents and my brother, because I have an unusual last name and they were worried about the repercussions, so they told the necessary people they thought should know. They wanted them to hear it from them, so then they could tell them I was innocent. It has kind of affected my relationship with my brother, to be honest. I haven’t really talked to him since Christmas and Christmas was shit, because it was quite soon after it happened. My parents say there’ve been no real repercussions for them, because they immediately told all their close family friends and all the necessary people at work. I’ve just got heaps and heaps of support from people, which is good. But at the same time, that’s what they do, you know? They support you or they fuck off. Just finish with that, eh? People support you or they fuck off.

It gets given to them. They get money in their account, and you can buy TVs and radios. My neighbour listened to The X Factor really loudly and went, “Yeah Jeremy!” I just thought, “Wow, prison is shit.” I had a book, so that was alright. I didn’t have anything to do the first night, so I did pushups and sit-ups because I was getting ready for prison. Gotta get buff, G. That didn’t work, but I wasn’t the smallest person, so that’s all right. John* was the smallest person. I was worried about him. Did the people you were arrested with have different experiences?

Even though I had nothing to do with the illegal activity, and am 100-per-cent innocent, the

Was the fear based on stories you’d heard before going into prison? Yeah, it was just assumptions, and being surrounded by violent people. That was the thing; at the end of the day, we figured 50 per cent of these people are violent criminals, whereas we were being accused of a non-violent crime. We’re not violent people.

After your name suppression was lifted did you have to do much in terms of protecting your identity?

* Names have been changed.

experience has definitely changed me. I live in fear of going to back to prison.

salient.org.nz <<<

read more online Extended interview avaliable at salient.org.nz.

31


FEATURES • ϟ

Generation Meh

If there is one thing that unites a vast proportion of the university populace, it is fecklessness. We seem to take great pleasure in not only being crap, but making sure that everyone else knows just how crap we are. While it is important to celebrate what sets a community apart from general society, where exactly does this come from?

By Patrick Hunn Four-fifths of those who live in my flat confess (under duress) to having masturbated as a way of avoiding working on an assignment. I have absolutely no idea if this is in any way unusual, but I suspect that it isn’t. During the last exam period, we very rarely had any hot water because people showered constantly at odd hours of the day. A shower, it seems, is an excellent and respectable way of not studying. And in the middle of a recent earthquake that you may have experienced, an acquaintance simply dropped to the floor and stared with tremendous insouciance at a moving wall while

32

the rest of those present fled to the purported safety of the doorway. When queried as to why she had done this, she said that it just felt like the right thing to do, man. Whether you indulge in the occasional round of procrastibation or the odd boredom shower or not, people have a glorious capacity for doing things that they know are objectively a bit silly. Why is this the case? Let’s do some armchair psychoanalysis. Humanity (or at least a part of it) seems to be particularly susceptible to knowing that something is stupid and then doing it anyway. Smoking can be the cause of cancers in the lungs, throat, mouth, heart, breasts, bladder,

kidney, colon, nose, gullet, ovaries, stomach, vulva, pancreas, liver, and larynx, but I look ravishingly glamorous when I light up, and I secretly think I might be giving off a Helena Bonham-Carter in Fight Club–esque vibe when I do, so I’ll have a pack of Marlboro Reds, please. Debt is not helpful, but I do legitimately need to buy 18 pounds of lavender soap I found for cheap on the internet, and also, there is someone in the Waikato selling a karaoke machine from 1993 on Trade Me which I strongly believe would be a prudent investment, so let’s hit up that overdraft, yo. Drinking is similarly not good. Drinking can kill you. More worryingly, drinking can also make you express the usually carefully guarded opinion that you are actually the most incredibly wonderful person in all of existence (which is completely true in my case, but is a revelation that is not usually well-received in polite company). Even so, let’s watch Bring It On (and its attendant sequels if you’re nextlevel—Rihanna is in the second one!) and take a shot whenever Missy does something that defies social norms (like having a temporary tattoo!) or Torrance and Cliff exchange

>>> salient.org.nz


ϟ • FEATURES

meaningful eye contact. Cue acute liver failure in half an hour. I know that I am certainly guilty of all of these, and while I’m sure some who read this won’t be, I am comfortable in the knowledge that I am not alone. I am part of a community. A community of the stupid. In many ways humanity’s collective capacity for being unsensible is the most impressive thing about it. Perhaps it’s evolutionary. Fight or flight, and all that. Humans are in many ways the most evolutionarily boring things ever. We’re so placid it’s dull. Very few new mothers rip the heads off their children and eat them. If the Cuban missile crisis had turned out differently, I like to think that we would have developed iron breasts festooned with a thousand quivering poisonous barbs to help us better deal with the post-nuclear wasteland, but it doesn’t seem likely. Despite these disappointments, there are instances when the rational mind hands over control to the impulsive. Talking about ‘instincts’ is not in vogue in psychology, despite it making a certain sort of sense; the idea that we are hardwired to behave in certain ways in the cause of self-preservation. The fight-or-flight response is a physiological change that occurs when potential danger is perceived. It’s a pretty great thing that our bodies are capable of. Then again, that is actually a better explanation of why people sometimes perform heroic feats of athleticism (those people are the worst people) and why others can happily spend a weekday in bed researching Victorian spinsters and drinking a plunger of coffee every half-hour and eating an entire pizza alone and watching Pride and Prejudice yet again and having a bit of a cry (those people are the only people worth knowing). The point here, I suppose, is that what we do with our bodies probably isn’t something we are always truly in control of. When that woman dropped to the floor during the earthquake, she was subject to something that she didn’t totally understand. Coincidentally,

I am comfortable in the knowledge that I am not alone. I am part of a community. A community of the stupid. her body might have known something the rest of those who fled for the sanctuary of the door didn’t. Door frames, it turns out, are a pretty crummy place to take shelter. Freud might have an answer. I have to confess that if I was asked to write down the sum total of what I thought I understood about Freud down on a page I would be forced to scrawl, RIP THE PENIS OFF! across the entirety of it. Freud did, however, conjecture initially in the Two Principles of Mental Functioning that people are in part driven by something called the pleasure principle—a reasonably simple theory that posits that people are driven by the urge to chase pleasure and avoid pain. The id, the part of our psychological motor that is supposed to be governed, or rather un-governed, by wild and untamed impulses, seeks instant gratification and is ruled by the pleasure principle. Conversely, the reality principle describes a mind where the ego is eventually governed by the ability to defer pleasure based on what is happening in the world around it. Perhaps the simple fact is that we students aren’t nearly as ‘reality-principled’ as Freud might have hoped. Another important consideration is laziness. Laziness is an accepted psychological phenomenon, it just isn’t terribly well understood. Of course, the intersection between being indolent and being bored is slightly confusing. Psychologists are interested in laziness, but seemingly only in ways that makes us feel deep shame about our continued existence. A

you might just be generally crap at getting stuff done, and you can blame your parents for it.

salient.org.nz <<<

study at the University of Missouri earlier this year found that when less active mice were bred with other less active mice, and that when the same was done with active mice, those traits were compounded. In other words, you might just be generally crap at getting stuff done, and you can blame your parents for it. But it is interesting to note the absence of academic literature surrounding laziness. Leonard Carmichael, an American psychologist, noted that despite Freud’s idea of the pleasure principle seemingly confirming that laziness is an important part of psychology, more is understood about “the motivation of thirsty rats and hungry pecking pigeons as they press levers or hit targets than is known about the way in which poets make themselves write poems or scientists force themselves into the laboratory when the good golfing days of spring arrive." (I should point out that Carmichael was wrong at the end of that. There is no excuse for golf.) If this article is so trite and dull that your eyeballs have turned to soup and are mournfully running down your cheeks, then I would be interested in knowing why. Hop to it, psychology. So we didn’t really get very far. We have learnt two important things, however. The first is that the pleasure principle seems to be something of an accurate descriptor of the way a lot of us behave. The second is that golf is dumb and masturbating isn’t. Of the two, I don’t know which is more important. But in all honesty, the lifestyle depicted thus far is barely functional. Nobody is quite this uniformly terrible at getting by. You’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise, though: we do like to complain with barely restrained glee about how terrible we are. Maybe if we just snipped that bit out we’d all do a lot better. Anyway, I’m going to work on an assignment now. No, really, I am. Honest.

33


right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / ri / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right FEATURES • ϟ wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wr / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / ri / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / righ right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / ri / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wr / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / ri / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / righ right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / ri / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wr / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong right / wrong / right /By wrong right / wrong / rightrang / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right wrong / right Hilary/Beattie me to tell me that my brother (first-year, You can’t just pretend any/old voice in your / wrong / ri / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrongpenchant / right for / wrong / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / righ Auckland, no self-doubt, i love / right head is your conscience. 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My oxytocin, maybe? My dilated pupils? self-interest. There are around / wrongof/ acting rightin/ cold wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right wall.” You can’t make this stuff up. It would be Anyway. Acknowledge your shitty behaviour. five people in this city worth dating, and they’re wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrongreductive / rightto/ take wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wr the moral as “even if you make Write it down. Wince at it. Assess whether there dating your friends. 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I toil on a (luckily for you) spasmodic basis Is there? / wrongin/contribution right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / righ conscience”, but it’s one possible interpretation. to this magazine, and it’s not like right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right wrong I can put it on my CV: all I’ve really ‘contributed’ If there/ is, do it. / right / wrong / right / wrong / ri Now, you see, we are gaining some momentum. / wrongare/ right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right dick jokes and (in a similar vein) whatever is You’re relatively conscientious, or at least, * If this sounds like your boyfriend, *puts on voice of wrong / right / wrong / wrong right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wr written about me/ right in the Salient water/ closet. you’re better than that horrible story I just human trafficker who personally abducted Liam Neeson’s / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong told. Don’t think that the only way to achieve Maybe you need a reminder of how far you daughter* good luck. right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / rightanything / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / ri with your life is to quash any instinct have come, by illustration of how far others ** Alleged, not confirmed. / wronghave / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right wrongare/ right wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / righ of whether your/actions right or/ wrong! yet to go. The other day, my mother *** I think you will find that the comedy is in the detail. right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / ri / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wr / right 34 / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right wrong / right / wrong >>>/ salient.org.nz right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / right / wrong / ri

People Don't Have Consciences: They Have Lust and They Have a Budget, Would You Like a Sodding Venn Diagram?


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35


COLUMNS 

ly Week

Rant

Once Upon a Conscience Vote By Zachary Shilston

Once upon a conscience vote, John Key made an edict. He stood before the media throng and calmly declared: “All National MPs will vote in favour of the Skycity bill. This is our conscience vote” [Paraphrased]. Response from individual MPs was muted, with new list MP Claudette Hauiti voicing the general consensus, “That’s where my conscience lies and that’s where the party is going to be voting.” So, I’m guessing most of you know all about the Skycity deal. You know, the one where the Government traded New Zealand’s gambling laws for a conference centre? A lot of people were up in arms about it. Opposition forced the matter to a conscience vote. Then came the farce—John Key announcing that on THIS conscience vote, National would vote along party lines. That’s pretty out-there. I mean, aren’t conscience votes meant to be about, you know, conscience?! I mean, I have a conscience. You have a conscience. Let’s assume for the sake of argument that John Key has a conscience. What about his MPs? Don’t they get a say? And if not, why not? The answer to this question lies in the approach National has taken to the whole Skycity deal. It explains why National has stonewalled this conscience vote, and it has some pretty scary implications. Craig Foss, MP for Tukituki, sums it up pretty nicely in his justification, “My conscience will be thinking about the thousandplus jobs the whole conference centre will create.” Foss’ position seems pretty straightforward: in essence, it doesn’t matter whether the Bill is right or wrong, what matters is all the good it will do! Smiley face. Heart icon. National loves you! This view has been the consistent stance that National has taken on this issue. And it justifies Key’s treatment of the conscience vote. What’s the need for a conscience vote if morality is irrelevant to the issue? We could demonise Foss for his lack of principle, but the ethical position he espouses isn’t actually all that uncommon. The idea that the moral worth of an action is determined by its consequences is an idea from classical utilitarianism, and it’s an idea that has a decent amount of standing in society today. In the eyes of many, an action may be justified solely because of the positive consequences it brings or the negative consequences it prevents. We need to be very cautious of taking this position. Consider New Zealand’s recent reduction of its refugee intake through deals with Australia, or its continued failure to meet its promised contributions towards global development assistance. These could both be argued to be occasions in which morality was sidelined by the cost–benefit analysis. So, why do we have such an issue with John Key’s vetoing of the conscience vote? Is it simply because we innately value people’s freedom of choice? Or is it something more? Personally, the utilitarian view of this government worries me, because I happen to 38

believe that there is an objective morality, that actions may be right or wrong regardless of their consequences. I can truthfully say that even if the Skycity Conference Centre provided 100,000 jobs, that would not change my opinion that it is wrong for the Government to effectively sell policy. Utilitarianism just doesn’t cut it for me, because it enables us to do things that we inherently know are wrong, such as murder or torture, provided that the cost–benefit analysis stacks up right. Maybe for some of you this is old hat—you long ago looked at the world and divined that utilitarianism and personal relativism just don’t make for a functional society. You decided that conscience does have utility. But I guess this leaves us with a lot of questions about the place of conscience. If we’re accepting that there is a need for conscience rather than simply interest-based utilitarianism, then there has to be a standard set by which we judge actions. I’d say as New Zealanders, we pride ourselves on a sense of fair play and justice. As a nation, we have a history of standing up on matters of conscience, whether it be over the Springbok tour, French nuclear testing in the Pacific, or sending soldiers to Iraq. Clearly in these instances, we had a sense of what was right and what was wrong. My question to you as we finish is: where does this Kiwi moral code come from, and how can we apply it to modern political issues? We are often told that the multiplicity of views and mitigating factors makes the idea of an objective moral standard a nonsense, yet situations like the Skycity deal make me think otherwise. The amount of outrage at this Bill has been heartening. However, this is not enough. Rejecting utilitarianism does not give us the framework for making ethical decisions. I venture to suggest that we need more. You still have to find a source for your moral guidance. And there aren’t too many that really work. Look into it. See what works. Because once our society is based on conscience, I think our politicians will just have to follow. 'Weekly Rant' is a space for one-off opinion pieces. Want to write your own? Contact editor@salient.org. nz to run riot.

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mad science

bent

You’re So Vain

The Reclamation

By Caitlin Craigie

By Matthew Ellison

No matter how much you stare in the mirror and scream in terror at the sight before you, studies show that you actually overestimate your own attractiveness. Researchers Nicholas Epley from the University of Chicago and Erin Whitchurch of the University of Virginia conducted experiments on study participants and used computers to create more attractive and less attractive versions of themselves. When asked to identify their actual photo, people tended to pick the attractively enhanced one. However, this bias did not apply to strangers, who tended to pick the unchanged one.

Civil-rights movements, such as black civil rights, feminism, and queer rights, have a strong history of reclaiming words. The word ‘queer’ used to be a hurtful slur, but is now largely used as an umbrella term for non-heterosexual, non-cisgender identities. Younger people who are described by this term are usually comfortable with it, having not had it used against them in a negative way, but with some older people its use can still evoke the hurt of the insult it used to be.

In the cruellest joke evolution has played on us since the T. rex became the chicken, beautiful people also tend to be smarter. Studies in Britain and America have found beautiful people have IQs 14 points above average. Satoshi Kanazawa from the London School of Economics found the association between attractiveness and general intelligence is also stronger among men than among women. Beauty can also influence how much you earn. A study done by Pfeifer noted a positive correlation between physical appearance and wages. More attractive people are, on average, more likely to be employed and have a higher wage than their normal counterpart. So what are the ingredients to beauty? Evolutionary biologist Randy Thornhill from the University of New Mexico has found that both men and women rated members of the opposite sex with symmetrical faces and bodies as more attractive and in better health than their less symmetrical counterparts. Beauty really is also just skin-deep, at least among Caucasians. A study published in the International Journal of Primatology found that a light, yellowish complexion looks the healthiest to us. The skin colour could indicate a healthy diet of fruits and vegetables, the pigments of which are known to change the skin’s hue. More reason to eat your vegetables. The gender-specific components to beauty are highly predictable. Men, on average, tend to be attracted to women who are shorter than they are, have a youthful appearance, full breasts, and a low waist-hip ratio. Women like men with broad shoulders, relatively narrow waists, V-shaped torsos and who are taller. Middle Earth may be one of the few places where hobbits do well – online dating website eHarmony allegedly only matches women with men taller than them following a series of complaints.

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Reclaiming words isn’t easy, and starts with the group being oppressed by a word taking on its usage themselves, until it becomes so mainstream that people forget it ever was a slur. It’s the in-between space that’s the weird bit: after a community has started using the word, but before it’s in the mainstream and no longer hurtful. This is tricky ground, and it’s important to be mindful of people’s experiences. Communities also have to decide for themselves whether they even want to reclaim a word. ‘Faggot’ is a contentious one, and some members of the queer community are working hard at reclaiming it, which is, in a way, an admirable thing. But this is a recent effort, and while people (in Wellington at least) don’t shout “fucking queer” at you when you’re holding your partner’s hand, they do still shout “fucking faggot”, and it cuts me every time. ‘Faggot’ is a word that for a lot of people is tied closely to their own experiences. I myself find it almost triggering, and I have no doubt that some people find it much worse than I do. It’s a word that is so rarely said without venom and hate that I find it hard to imagine a world in which I would feel comfortable being called ‘faggot’, even when it was meant well, and by a friend. We, as a collective, need to look very carefully at a word before deciding to reclaim it. Perhaps it’s inevitable, but I don’t think that all words need to be reclaimed, and right now I’m not sure I want to be part of the process of reclaiming this one. It’s important to be aware that not all words are yours to reclaim. Just because a person of colour calls their friend the infamous ‘N-word’, doesn’t mean a white person can use it too, in any way. If you’re a man, think carefully before you use the word ‘cunt’, even if you’re trying to be sex-positive; you are treading on dangerous ground. If you’re not queer, please, just don’t use the word ‘faggot’, whether you mean it positively or not. We’re not ready yet, or at least, I’m not.

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COLUMNS 

Things That Go Bump In The Night with Lux Lisbon & Seymour Butts Sometimes when my bf's playing with my clit it feels pretty damn good for a while, but after that if he keeps going it all starts to get too intense and uncomfortable, but if I tell him to stop he gets upset and doesn't want to have sex anymore. How do I explain to him that it's not his fault?

Understandably, it is hard for most men to understand what it feels like to have a clit; plus, no two clits are the same. This can make it difficult for them to treat it just right. First thing’s first, make sure you know how you like to be touched, what works for you and what doesn’t. This will mean rather than telling your partner to stop when things become too intense, you can steer him in a direction of what feels really good and what is going to help you to orgasm. If he gets angry when you tell him to stop, it’s likely he is a little discouraged and maybe he is upset that he isn’t turning you on. It may help to express that it feels awesome, but would feel even more awesome if he was more gentle, slower etc. Rather than emphasising what feels bad, make an effort to let him know when he’s on the money. One thing that can help show your partner how to get you off is to let him watch you pleasure yourself. Maybe suggest he sit back and observe. He can see how you touch yourself, at what speed, in what order, and how your body responds. Firstly, this will provide him with some pro tips and tricks from the leading authority on your body, plus, chances are he will really enjoy himself too. Sometimes it is just wishful thinking to expect someone to pick up on subtle

hints, especially when it is something as personal and variable as a human body. The majority of the time, if you speak up and explain what isn’t quite right and how to make it better, your trusted sexual partner will be more than happy to oblige. Opening up these lines of communication will give you more to work with when it comes to exploring and improving your sex life. At the end of the day, communication is key, and it sounds like your partner could learn a thing or two in that area as well. Getting angry and refusing to have sex isn’t the best way to deal with miscommunication. I wish you and your clit all the best in finding just what you’re looking for. Lux

I've just started seeing someone new and I'm really into them but they like role play and I'm not so sure... Do I have to dress up? Where do I get a costume from? Do I have to talk in a different voice or something?

I seem to find myself writing this a lot, but it’s the most important thing about sex and relationships, so it bears repeating: you have the complete right to say no to anything sexual. If someone wants you to do something you’re not comfortable with, you don’t have to! You shouldn’t feel bad for not indulging someone else’s kinks, no matter how tame or adventurous they may seem. That disclaimer out of the way, if you do want to try it, you don’t necessarily have to dress up. It may be that your partner has some very specific fantasies involving

a complex series of costumes, or it may be more simple, like a scenario, or even a different power dynamic. Same goes for different voices – maybe they’ll want you to do your best Jar Jar Binks impression, or a vulnerable schoolchild voice (clichéd), or maybe they’d prefer you to use your own voice. There are no hard-and-fast rules here, and part of the fun is exploring and trying new things. The best thing to do, rather than worrying about it yourself, is to talk about it straightup with your partner. Maybe they’re not into it after all, or maybe they’re into something that you didn’t realise you enjoyed! If you’re comfortable with it, I encourage you to try new things, and to try them a couple of times (this is a good rule for everything, but especially true of sexual things – something you’re not super-into the first time may be way better the second time when you’re not putting so much pressure on yourself). Where do you get a costume from? As I said, you may not want to use a costume, but if you do want one, you can get sexualthemed ones from online and real-life sex shops. For anything else, I guess it’s no different to finding regular costumes – you could get them from a costume shop, or make them yourself! If you are going to experiment (after a proper out-loud conversation with your partner), then I wish you the best of luck! If you decide you’re not comfortable doing so, well done for examining yourself, working out what you’re into, and letting your partner know. Love, Seymour x

Lux and Seymour are our in-house sexperts. If you've got any questions about all things

If you have issues or concerns that you wish to discuss privately and confidentially with

love and lust, or a topic you want them to cover, go right ahead and ask anonymously

a professional, rather than Lux and Seymour, or Hector and Janet, Student Counselling

at ask.fm/LuxandSeymour. For everything else, there's Hector and Janet—our resident

Service can provide a safe place to explore such aspects of your life. The service is free

advice columnists . Contact them anonymously at ask.fm/FixingYourLife

and confidential.

Phone: (04) 463 5310 Email: counselling-service@vuw.ac.nz.Visit: Mauri Ora, Level 1, Student Union Building.

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>>> salient.org.nz


 COLUMNS

e f i L r u o Y g n i x i F

[BECAUSE OURS ARE WRITTEN OFF]

We’ve recently discovered the internet, and in the spirit of such things have decided to open an ask.fm page, where you can pose us all the questions you like about the trials and tribulations of your university lives.

You can find us at ask.fm/hectorandjanet Accordingly, here’s some trivial questions that Salient readers have posted and we have answered. Maybe somebody will have a serious issue, someday, somehow. Love, Hector and Janet Hi Hector and Janet—how do I go about winning the Rhodes Scholarship? Plz advise. Become involved in a community-based group out of insincere personal interest, have an A+ for everything academic you've ever laid a finger on, but mostly just be a warm, attractive character who nails the interview. Or, suck a lot of dick (in the metaphorical sense).

-Hector & janet What advice would you give to a budding advice columnist? Become friends with the editor of a small publication, convince them that you are, in fact, good at managing drama and being diplomatic, and then shoehorn yourself into a position of authority. Be too annoying to be a regular columnist. Have no ego and use a pseudonym. Stay away from controversial issues. Don't be a jerk. Crucially, begin every column with 'Look,'.

“Replace Janet with me” and be in to write this one for the rest of the year! I’ll put in a good word for you.

You really should have “Replied All” to that civil defence email trail if you had something this important to say.

-j

-j

bridget jones v love actually?

I need a wife. please help. I’m mildly offensive looking if that helps?

This isn’t advice, but the answer is Love Actually. Liam Neeson, Alan Rickman and Colin Firth are gr- oh who am I kidding, all we care about is Emma Thompson.

-H NEVER ASK ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN RICHARD CURTIS MOVIES, YOU FULE

-j

Also, learn to love yourself, I guess. I didn’t know that ‘offensive’ was a way that one could look.

-H Given a choice between fighting a single horse-sized duck and a hundred duck-sized horses, which would you recommend one takes? - A knight eager to prove his valor A hundred duck-sized horses. Why? Well, aside from the terrifying penis encounter that the other option would entail, horses without the advantage of size and muscle really don’t have a lot of weaponry.

-H A singled horse-sized duck, because when you can’t think of something to believe in, you should look at what other people believe in and if it’s not particularly important you should feel free to take the opposite view.

-j how to write vem then to write better? FINALLY every each can else every other a good time ;)

-H

That isn’t a question. I don’t think it’s even a sentence.

Email editor@salient.org.nz, subject

-H

salient.org.nz <<<

If you need a wife, stop thinking about the end result and start thinking about the process. Protip: lasting relationships don’t begin at 2am in Edison’s. You knew that, though.

No you bloody don’t need a wife. Work on yourself. I’m sick of this shit. I’ve been working on myself for years and years and only when I’m certifiably BLOODY GREAT can I start bitching about being alone.

-j I just ate a really good portobello mushroom and am worried no man or woman will ever make me as happy. Will they? Of course they will. I mean, not in the same way, obviously. Hunger and love are different things, which is a lesson we’ve all had to learn in the darkest moments of our lives. So quit feeling sorry for yourself, buck up and toss yourself into the portobello mushroom of life. There’s plenty of time to eat decadently when you’re coupled up and marching on toward oblivion.

-H No, no they will not.

-j

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COLUMNS 

LIFESTYLES OF THE POOR & THE STUDIOUS a Nigell t den Lawstu

A Guide to the Good Life By Eve Kennedy Illustrations by Graydon Hayes

I am Flat Mother of my household. My flatmates attest to this. Successful flatting's not all about how clean the bathroom is (although if my flatmates could learn to replace the toilet roll when they use it all, I'd probably love them more) or who eats the most delicious food; it's also about having a nice group of flatmates in a house that's not rotting or 30,000 km away from Uni. To help you through this ritualistic quagmire, here's my handy flatting guide—just in time for the upcoming flat-hunting season.

1. Spend time finding a good flat Down in Dunedin, flat-hunting has already started for some. I don't know anyone perusing the TradeMe listings daily up here yet, but that said, the earlier you start looking, the better. We went for Brooklyn, which is about a 30-minute trek to Uni and 20 to Cuba St, but we got a nice fourbedroom with study and lounge for $600 per week. Regardless of your situation,

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make sure you spend time hunting around. There are plenty of homes to go around, and you need not live in a crap-hole merely because you're worried you won't find anything better.

It's too far from Uni.

out of their previous flats; it's a good way to find out if they're a totally unreasonable nutjob or not. Common advice is to not live with your best friends, but there are exceptions. You need to be critical of whether your best friend really is going to be the best person to live with—it doesn't mean you can't still be bfflz if you don't live together.

3. Have good references

5. Have a cleaning roster

This is hard if you're a crappy person to live with or you got in a lot of trouble at your firstyear hall, but try to pick someone who likes you enough to give you a good reference. They are vital to getting good flats.

Decide as a collective how clean you want your flat to be. If, like in my flat, you have

2. Don't live in Hataitai

4. Pick good flatmates This is hard if you don't know your flatmates before you live with them. We've all heard the story of the guy who moved in with randoms only to find a flatmate had been using the kitchen scissors to trim his pubes, and not bothered washing them—my friend moved out the day after this very incident. Ask potential flatmates why they're moving

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 COLUMNS

Health tip # 15 Forgot for a moment to be dextrous and deft?

AN APPLE A DAY

Managed to mix up your right foot with your left? Dr Seuss did warn you. If it’s too late and you’ve taken a tumble, just remember RICE - Rest, Ice, Compression and

one clean freak (i.e. me), then they will need to accept that if they want the flat to be sparkling-clean 24/7, they will need to do it themselves. Talk about the cleaning plan at the start, and decide on clear expectations. Here, we have a roster which works relatively successfully, but we also all know basic rules to do our own dishes after cooking and wipe down the surfaces when we're finished in the kitchen. During exams, I made a cleaning roster with legal terms involved as a lame way to procrastinate/ pretend I was revising; I am Nigella Lawstudent, after all.

6. Delegate bill-paying Have a flat card so everyone can take turns buying toilet paper and dishwashing liquid. Make sure you know who's paying which bills and organise it so you have enough money to pay them—whether you each pay an extra $20 a week to go towards power and internet, or you split the bills as they come, make sure everyone knows what's expected of them. Lots of banks have tertiary-student options with flat cards that can have multiple signatories as well as jointly held flat accounts. Tertiary-student packs often come with the option of a low-interest credit card, but I advise against this unless it's absolutely necessary.

7. Decide how food's going to work Every flat does this differently. Maybe you buy shared food but cook separately (I'd warn against this as people will get mad at you for using all of the mozzarella in your pasta when they'd wanted it for pizza) or you take turns cooking, or you all do separate food, or you do shared dinners but separate snacks. Whichever way you do it, make sure the boundaries are clear. Don't be a dick and eat food that you know isn't yours, even if you promise yourself you'll replace it because we all know you'll forget.

salient.org.nz <<<

8. Don't leave passive-aggressive notes Your flatmates will grow to hate you. Similarly, don't text people to nag them about things when they're in the next room. It's annoying.

9. Don't live with a couple, particularly if it's their first year living together for realz They'll break up. It'll be awkward. You'll never see it coming and your entire world will be changed when you get that text at Meow where you're watching jazz with your Mum and you need to go lie down somewhere to cope. This happened.

10. Think carefully before you live with your significant other ‘nuff said.

11. Use University services The Uni has an array of services and tools to ensure your flatting life runs as smoothly as possible. This includes the Counselling Service, the Accommodation Service, as well as Student Hardship financial support and advice. These services are free for Vic students. VUWSA has a partnership with the Uni to provide food-bank parcels for students in need, and you can collect free bread from Kelburn campus every Wednesday and Friday. Check victoria.ac.nz and vuwsa.org. nz for more details on these services.

Elevation are the best things for a sprained joint. If you’re concerned, come see us at Student Health Service, and we’ll sort you out. Because things may happen and quite often do, to people as brainy and footsy as you!

Things Your

Grandmother Should Have Taught You By Alexandra Hollis

Things the EQC should have taught you: Protect your stuff: Stacked books tend to fall more than books lined up across a shelf; store breakable items in lower shelves; run fishing wire across shelves holding glasses; wrap everything in bubble wrap. Around the flat: Make sure you know how to switch off power/gas, and that you/your landlord can secure your water cylinder (there are kits!). Candles: Keep ‘em in every room. Stumbling around in the dark looking for candles kind of defeats their point. Extra stuff for your EQC Emergency Pack: Girls: tampons and a comfy bra. Nice lingerie’s nice but not for three days straight. Guys: nothing, you’re sweet. #patriarchy Stay off twitter: In the immediate aftermath of a major quake, the media can be live-saving. But in the days and weeks after constant exposure to constant coverage can exacerbate quake-induced anxiety. Stop scrolling through @geonet, watch Arrested Development. And if all else fails: Time your aftershock predictions right, and make someone’s world move.

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ARTS 

ARTS SALIENT ARTS R8ING GUIDE: 5 Stars: :D  4 Stars: :)  3 Stars, :|  2 Stars: :(  1 Star: :'(  0 Stars: D:

visual arts 

Miranda July, We Think Alone

ARTICLE

SIMON GENNARD

1 July – 11 November, Your Inbox Last Monday, writer and former athlete Kareem Abdul-Jabbar sent me a picture of his family standing with the Obamas. A week before, writer/filmmaker Lena Dunham assured me she loves me, then proceeded to warn about a “NOT NICE” guy I've apparently been seeing. As much as I'd like to claim to be the sole recipient of these messages, I am among 50,000 subscribers to Miranda July's ongoing project We Think Alone. Across 20 weeks, between July and November, subscribers will receive a weekly email featuring correspondence from ten notable figures including, in addition to those already mentioned, actress Kirsten Dunst, writers Sheila Heti and Etgar Keret, designers Kate and Laura Mulleavy, photographer Catherine Opie, artist Danh Vo and physicist Lee Smolin. Anyone can sign up to the project, simply by visiting wethinkalone.com. The piece has been commissioned by Magasin 3 in Stockholm, but it exists only in the inboxes of subscribers. July has chosen not to take a curatorial approach to the emails. Rather, she provided the participants with 20 themes (so far we’ve seen “an email that mentions money”,

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“an email that gives advice”, and “an email that mentions Obama”) and allowed them to decide how much or little to share. The emails are, at times, terse and prosaic. Dunst’s entry for Obama week reads, “Obama mom”. Occasionally, however, messages illuminate something poignant and humanising about the subjects. Sheila Heti, for example, in the first week confessed to having just $1000 in savings, and questions the viability of making a living as a writer. Etgar Keret’s submissions seem strikingly convivial – he’s warm and funny, and surprisingly forthcoming. “I feel so easy being sincere with you. Not that I'm such a big liar but with others but with you sincerity doesn't demand any effort from me. I don't know if this makes much sense. But that's what's nice that also making sense doesn't seem to be such a must when the two of us hang out together.” The project’s voyeurism is mediated by the acknowledgement that the participants have control over what we do and don’t see. Being coy, of course, can be as revealing as being uninhibited. This may be why July’s appeal outlasts the initial thrill of peeping in. July often employs other people as her medium; her previous project, It Chooses You, was a series of interviews with strangers the artist discovered in classified listings. She continues to look from the outside in, examining the minutiae of how we conduct ourselves.

We Think Alone is concerned with the relationship between our private and public selves. When we consider the nuances of how we communicate online, email seems to be the most intimate platform. We are at our most vulnerable with loved ones, but we also remain appropriately formal when conducting transactions. In reallife conversation, we may unwittingly reveal things through mannerism or tone. Written communication affords us scrutiny in our diction. It seems fashionable to assert that we live in an age of oversharing, but it may be more accurate to say how we talk about ourselves has changed. Yes, we are, at times, more flippant and forthcoming, but this has also led to an increased emphasis on privacy, for we are conscious of only ever revealing part of ourselves. It may be coincidence that the project began a month after Edward Snowden’s leaks revealed widespread digital surveillance by United-States government agencies, and though the fervour surrounding the leaks seems to have dissipated, the questions regarding what we share, how we share it, and who has access to our information, remain pertinent. We are constantly aware that what we share publicly is curated by ourselves. The project’s hook is in its seemingly transgressive access to private places, but it compels beyond that in illuminating the chasm between how we act when the world is watching, and how we behave in more intimate settings.

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 ARTS

books 

The Odour of Sanctity by Amy Brown review

ALEXANDRA HOLLIS

“Laura, it isn’t safe outside–/don’t leave me tonight,” Jeff Mangum pleads his (ex?) girlfriend(?) in the first lines of Amy Brown’s The Odour of Sanctity, prophesying a very (post)modern doom; “At midnight, when the internet/is killed ... the pillaging will begin.” Welcome to a book about saints. Honestly, if the Jeff Mangum thing (Jeff Mangum! Of Neutral Milk Hotel! April Ludgate’s favourite band! Jeff Mangum!) doesn’t immediately suck you in, I don’t know what will. But I’m going to give it a go. Because The Odour of Sanctity–an epic poem detailing the lives and miracles of six candidates for sainthood–is well worth your reading time. Aside from Jeff Mangum (Jeff Mangum! A saint! Jeff Mangum!), Brown speaks as and about Christina Rossetti (poet and sister of Dante Gabriel), Margery Kempe (the first person to record her memoirs in English), Elizabeth of Hungary (princess, young widow, abused and venerated by her spiritual adviser), Rumwold (a baby who preached for three days before dying, having predicted his own death), and Aurelius Augustine (his theology made him a saint; his sins made him feature in The Waste Land). It’s a fascinating look at the place of sin and sanctity from the 4th century AD to today, and an immensely skilful piece of poetry.

maintain a consistency in tone which feels apt for an epic poem, and clearly and economically characterise each of these candidates. It doesn’t, then, feel daunting; at times the poetry feels far more prosaic than you would expect, adhering more to sentence logic than line tension. This isn’t to say that the poetry isn’t tightly wrought: while the line tension is occasionally overshadowed by the need for exposition, it comes into play quite prominently elsewhere. This is especially noticeable in Rossetti’s first section, conveying twin modes of irony and despair through the pulsating, fractured, rhythm Brown has created. This whole first section, in fact, is a joy to read; there is a moving intimacy in the candidates’ examination of themselves, and the way they talk about their lives. Only poetry could sustain this kind of ‘historical fiction’ where there is little to no real exposition. The resulting sections don’t quite match up to the poetic brilliance of the first, but what they do do is shed new light on the candidates’ lives through the witnesses’ corroboration and contradiction. In Cyneburh, Rumwold’s nurse, we see the baby as imperious, almost demonic – a contrast to the hagiographic descriptions of the ‘miracle baby’ found elsewhere.

In that way that in poetry contradiction can seem more like relativism, Brown holds multiple worlds in her poem, all sliding together and apart, creating and destroying meaning both within and between her characters. “In my memory,” she writes as Augustine, “everything is mixed up,” but this could just as well apply to any passage in the book. Themes are taken from person to person, swapped, inverted, challenged, verified. By the end, where the candidates address each other, there is a very real sense of a historical communion; a sort of reaching across time and space to find a shared ground. Is this sanctity? It’s hard to tell. The Odour of Sanctity seems to work in cycles of destruction, both within the subject matter and the form. At the end, with the full breakdown of these cycles, Rossetti challenges Mangum to Bouts-Rimés (a rhyming game). We finish, again, with Mangum: “How’s that for a first attempt?” he asks, both the poet and the saint; utterly fallible, stumbling along.

While The Odour of Sanctity is packaged as an ‘epic poem’ and while it is long, at times it feels more like a collection of interconnected poems. The work is divided into seven sections (“Investigation: The Candidates’ Lives”, “Questionnaire for Life and Virtues”, “Beatification: God Examines the Evidence”, “Questionnaire for the Treating Physicians”, “Words From the Person Cured”, “Canonisation Ceremonies”, and “Envoi”), and six within each of those – one for every ‘candidate’. Brown further distinguishes the candidates by giving each a different formal structure: poems speaking as or about Jeff Mangum are in tercets, Rossetti has the quatrain, Augustine couplets, and so on. Brown is able to both

salient.org.nz <<<

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ARTS 

tv 

I just blew myself

ARTICLE

philip mcsweeney

“I just blew myself: excitable and partisan fanboy waxes lyrical about the apex of comedy as we know it” Let me begin by divulging something personal. Listen close: Arrested Development—the frantically paced, frenetically structured and consistently ingenious television show that lasted three seasons before an oft-lamented demise—is partially responsible for the person I am today. I would say it shaped my sense of humour but that would be appallingly hubristic, as well as a disservice to the genius of the show. So when it was announced the fourth season, for so long thought apocryphal, had a definite release date, it felt like my heart was hard. With this announcement, however, came strange tidings; prophecies of a season shaped not around interaction, but with each episode designated to a particular character, with occasional intersections and scenes shot in the Rashomon (hire it out and watch it or the ghost of Kurosawa will haunt you) study of perspective. I awaited the new season under the influence of a great deal of emotions (including ‘hunger’)— excitement, of course, and giddy joy (taste the happy!), but also a fair amount of trepidation and confusion. My expectations were—of course—subverted. The new season of Arrested Development is unmistakably a different beast to the one that was shown on Fox all those years ago. Netflix has allowed the show’s creator Mitchell Hurwitz liberties that would have been impossible on mainstream television. Some of these work; that all the show’s episodes were released simultaneously is a tremendous boon. Loathe as I am to admit it, I can see how audiences would have been turned off by week-long interims between the dense hilarity and recurrent jokes (if there’s any television show that needs to be consumed in a binge, it’s Arrested Development). The season’s first handful of episodes are almost unanimously agreed to be its worst (although I’m in the minority that adored the pilot). A number of critics made a huge mistake—prematurely shooting their wad, if you will—by judging the season on the merits of the first three episodes. Some publications even sheepishly rescinded their reviews. The reason for this? Three words: George.

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Oscar. Bluth. The first Gob-centric episode made me belly-laugh like a bull seal, spit flying everywhere at every recurring “hello darkness my old friend”, my disgusted viewing companion staring at me in horror. Imagine my pleasant surprise when the second Gob episode was even better; the way he attempts to deadpan “I’d love to have sex with you but I, uhh, just drank a lot of water,” should damn-well get Will Arnett an Oscar (and not the herb-lovin’-Uncle kind). Aside from Gob (who is the season’s MVP), the other two biggest assets are—surprisingly—George Michael and Maeby. Michael Cera’s character archetype may be overdone, but he has it utterly perfected (and there’s a badboy edge here too; not only is he ‘overtly sexual’ but he’s drinking Pepsi—FOR BREAKFAST), and he contributes to some scenes of pathos among the puppy-dog-eyed awkward hilarity. Alia Shawkat’s newly discovered knack for comedic timing and don’t-give-a-shit delivery, meanwhile, are a wonder to behold. Unfortunately, other characters suffer. Tobias’ storyline manifests, I suspect, Hurwitz’s cynicism and frustration, with some downright cruel humour involving drug addicts (the glorious ‘Method One (acting) clinic’ gag excluded), and a fucking stupid subplot involving paedophilia. The pro lapses, as it were (I’ll leave all innuendo to Hurwitz from now on, promise). The narrator intrudes too much. Annyong only shows up once, and Franklin not at all (BLUNDER OF THE DECADE, HURWITZ). Lucille Bluth is tragically underused (although the reality TV show she stars in, Real Asian Prison Housewives of

the Orange County White Collar Prison System is a wonderful piece of absurd satire). The most unfairly warped characterisation, however, goes to Michael Bluth—or, rather, the facsimile of what Michael Bluth once was. Here he is desperate, loathsome, oblivious, cruel and pathetic all at once, and though I’ve been instructed countless times to “watch the first season again bro, he’s always been like this!”, I still dissent: Michael made mistakes, sure, and often let his self-satisfied demeanour get the better of him. But he was essentially good, hard-working and caring, willing to learn from his mistakes and show humility. Essentially, the love (however begrudging) he once showed has disappeared in a void of Hurwitz’s bitterness, and this is symptomatic of the season of the whole. While the head’s never been better, the heart has been lost somewhere along the way. The good news: because this season of Arrested Development is so wildly different than the three that preceded it, as a viewer we have the option of treating it like a different show altogether. Elucidation: the new season is the second-best thing I’ve seen all year (behind the absurdly gratifying Bunheads, which is a whole different article), and I will froth at the mouth at the prospect of a fifth season and even a movie. But for me, deep down, Arrested Development will always conclude elegantly with Michael and George Michael on a boat headed for Cabo and my imagination filling out the rest. It’s what they would have wanted.

read more online Extended article avaliable at salient.org.nz.

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film 

Upstream Color

review

HENRY COOKE

Upstream Color is a sometimes disorientating journey through what filmmaking can achieve when it really sets its mind to it. Think The Tree of Life, but satisfying. It’s showing at the Festival and I really can’t recommend it enough. The film’s plot is not easily explained, but it isn’t endlessly confusing either. It is at all times both an endearing love story and a horrific sci-fi excursion. It involves cute piglets, a disturbingly organic mind-control drug, and the work of Henry David Thoreau. Occasionally, the two main characters mix up each other’s memories, or have the same conversation in three different places at three different times. I guarantee it will make sense by the end, and you don’t need to spend the whole film watching out for clues or anything. Upstream Color is relentlessly controlled. Director Shane Carruth (of Primer fame) also wrote, starred in, scored, shot, edited, and financed the film. It shows. Everything in this film adds

Ten Movies to Watch When Hungover

ARTICLE

chloe davies

1. The Big Lebowski (dir. Joel and Ethan Coen, 1998) Sharp, fast-paced, twisted, with utterly magnificent performances. The Big Lebowski is a barrel of laughs.

2. Gosford Park (dir. Robert Altman, 2001) A slice of upstairs–downstairs drama, deceit and betrayal. Altman is known for his ensemble casts and true-to-life yet stylised outlook, and Gosford Park certainly delivers. Similar to Downton Abbey but about a thousand times better.

3. Tiny Furniture (dir. Lena Dunham, 2010) If you liked Girls, you’ll probably like this a whole lot more. Tiny Furniture follows Aura (played by Dunham) after returning home from her

salient.org.nz <<<

perfectly to the overall whole. Every shot, every sound and every line feels completely considered and necessary. Collaboration is great, but there is certainly something to be said for the consistency of vision that Carruth manages to get across here.

singular vision not leaving much room to breathe, which you can take as a plus or minus. Still, it’s definitely a worthy successor to Primer, and undoubtedly a highlight of the Festival. If you have even a passing interest in film or narrative, book your ticket fast.

This consistency is particularly noticeable in the cinematography. I mentioned The Tree of Life earlier for a reason—the rapidly cut yet controlled handheld shots certainly owe a lot to Malick. Carruth is never content with shooting a scene in the obvious way. Every shot is part and parcel with the mood of the character in shot, from the slidingly smooth car-ride of the drugged female lead to the waveringly panicky shots of her attempting to extract said drug with a kitchen knife. I’ve only seen this film on my television thus far; it will be stupendous on a proper screen.



It’s not all good. While it has a happy(ish) ending, Upstream Color is perhaps a little dark for some, and the dialogue is interesting but a little too sparse to really impress. The film feels slightly claustrophobic at times, with Carruth’s

liberal arts college to her mother’s ultra-stylish New-York loft and her following emotional/ existential/postgraduate crisis/journey. Watch while eating peanut-butter chocolate in bed.

4. 2 Days In Paris (dir. Julie Delpy, 2007) Hilarious, charming, AND French. Perfect for uplifting your wallowing-alone-in-self-pity-on-aSunday-afternoon mood.

5. Any documentary on a pop singer’s rise to fame/fall from grace.

of your idyllic childhood and escape from the headache and shame for 100-or-so minutes.

8. The Godfather Trilogy (dir. Francis Ford Coppola, 1972, 1974 and 1990) Spend your next hungover day engrossed in the rise and fall of the Corleones (and finally get all those pop-culture references!) Beware of Sofia Coppola’s awful performance in the third one— her talents definitely lie elsewhere.

9. Groundhog Day (dir. Harold Ramis, 1993)

6. Rushmore (dir. Wes Anderson, 1998)

Light-hearted entertainment with a spoonful of Bill Murray.

Jason Schwartzman. Bill Murray. Wes Anderson(!) An endearing coming-of-age journey, it’s bloody genius.

10. Local Hero (dir. Bill Forsyth, 1983)

7. The Wizard of Oz (dir. Victor Fleming, King Vidor, George Cukor, Norman Taurog and Mervyn LeRoy, 1939) An absolute classic. Revisit the innocent days

Local Hero tells the story of Mac, a big-shot American oil-company representative sent to a small Scottish fishing village to purchase the town for the company. Poignant and subtly hilarious, an understated work of brilliance. Sure to uplift the dreariest of Saturdays in bed.

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ARTS 

theatre 

Review of Merely to be Normal – THEA406 Season One. review

Rose Cann

Existence by Edward Bond, directed by Andrew Clarke. A dark and haunting piece, this performance created a sinister atmosphere with inconsistent success. Dealing with the practical issues of a play staged entirely in the dark, the lighting was effective in creating the appropriate atmosphere and in allowing us (mostly) to see some semblance of emotion on the actors’ faces. The piece was incredibly effective in creating valuable moments of discomfort, but the disjointed pacing and brief moments of humour created a strange and occasionally dull ambiance. The stage-combat was well blocked, but a perhaps overexcited male lead created danger for the female lead, which made me incredibly uncomfortable. The cutesy coin-toss to start and hug to end did little to ease the discomfort I felt about the actors’ physical interactions. The emotion of the piece was well communicated, despite the occasional substitution of volume in lieu of emotion on the part of the male lead, but this did not hinder my overall engagement with, and interest in, the performance. The Lost Babylon by Takeshi Kawamura, directed by Fern Wallingford. Laptop, vodka, coffee; we start the piece by viewing an image of total loneliness. A confusing

' O' F

context and a weak male lead led to an early disinterest in the piece. The blocking was consistently unrealistic and ineffective, and the music was often distracting. I could not help but be struck by the irony of the line, “It’s all about not boring the viewer.” The moments of excitement, engagement and humour were found in the conspiracy between soldier and writer, and in the strength of the female lead, especially during her monologue, although I found the use of media unnecessary. This piece showcased the talents of the female lead with a backdrop of a strange set, ineffective blocking, and an irritating use of media.

Review of Oneironaut by Long Cloud Youth Theatre review

Amy Griffin-Browne

An oneironaut travels through dreams as an astronaut travels through space. As I walked into Oneironaut, this latest offering from Long Cloud Youth Theatre, my expectations were high. Choosing to attack the subject of dreams is an ambitious stretch, and had Long Cloud missed its objective, it all could have been a glaring, confusing mess. But director Stella Reid and her exceptional cast have actually pulled it off. Sometimes, Long Cloud relies more on pretty bells and whistles than content, but Oneironaut being an experience rather than a message fits perfectly into the Long-Cloud style. And not only is it appropriate—it is fucking cool.

In part, the cohesion of the whole experience comes from the brilliant score provided by local artists Seth Frightening and i.ryoko. Visually, the show is marvellous. We begin in the foyer and the audience is slowly broken up and led through the divided, cavernous Whitireia performance space. Different rooms each contribute to a wider plot-web which weaves in overarching through-lines: a gun, a fish and a repeated line of dialogue. Because most of the show revolves around three interconnected dreams played out simultaneously, one can hear outside parts of the dream while watching the moment you're in—which makes for a magical déjà-vu sensation. The players never properly identify themselves, just as figures in dreams seem to exist in a permanent state of detached familiarity without names or reasons for being. Some audience members may be frustrated due to the fractured plot. Everything will be made a lot easier if you give in to the structureless dream logic and enjoy it as it comes—remember films like Requiem for a Dream or Fight Club, and the pure joy that comes from not quite knowing where you are. The brilliant thing about theatre, however, which film cannot provide, is that the audience can become directly involved, can interact with the characters and be bodily absorbed in the show. Oneironaut provides this extra-sensory element in spades. Go and see this show, because Oneironaut is unique and a reminder of what theatre can do. Oneironaut by Long Cloud Youth Theatre, directed by Stella Reid. Until 31 July. Whitireia Theatre.

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KICKS CASH KUDOS

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 ARTS

MUSIC 

PROS AND CONS FOR THE MUSICAL CONSCIENCE ARTICLE

Elise Munden

Even as a fully straight female, I’m not afraid to say that the video for Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ is rather arousing. Kudos to the girls for being suitably coy while also intriguingly adventurous. But despite the aesthetic value of the video, there are of course some other issues that must be addressed. To those businessmen and women who use the music industry to promote a certain type of femininity, masculinity, race, creed, sexual orientation, or wealth; my middle finger salutes you. It is tempting to leave my thoughts here, fare ye readers well, and revel in the glory of having denounced the white capitalist patriarchy in one swift blow. But this would be unfair to the consumer. After all, they—we—are the ones consummating the marriage of art with misogyny and all its evil siblings. The ‘problem’ at hand is passive consumerism. Of course, freedom of speech and artistic license are inherent in the preservation of creative thought. An individual has the lawful right to describe how, despite their having 99 problems, a bitch is most certainly not one of them, and then sell these lyrics in song form. By extension, individuals also have the right to choose to consume such content. But this is where the blurred lines of the conscience need to be delineated. While the ‘morality’ relating to the consumption of such content is completely arbitrary, passive consumerism is something that we choose to either engage in or not. For people who do feel morally challenged by music videos such as that of ‘Blurred Lines’ or lyrics such as those heard in ‘Bitches Ain’t Shit’ by Dr Dre, there are two options. They can either choose to never intentionally hear the song again, or they can continue to intentionally expose themselves to the song. I am ashamed to admit that I am guilty of pursuing the second option more often than not, even if I still get indignantly enraged by many a rapper/singer/producer that dare grace my iPod. This makes me a passive consumer; a person unwilling to actively oppose the inherent sexism of much popular music.

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It seems, therefore, that the conscience is easily distracted by entertainment. Layer blatant sexism, racism, or homophobia over a catchy beat and all of a sudden, one’s standards are irrelevant in comparison with the urge to dance till the sweat drips down your balls. The obvious next step in investigating this topic is to argue that it is in fact enough to be cognisant of the bias present in music; that one should aim to at least be an educated listener. Indeed, this is the approach that I have always taken when grappling with my own musically inspired guilt. But in an attempt to not merely settle for this approach out of apathy, why not rephrase the term ‘passive consumerism’ to offer a different mode of musical consumerism? Let’s take the average Snoop Dogg/Lion fan and present him/her with two options: passive pro-sumerism and passive con-sumerism (bear with me now). If the Snoop fan chooses to be a passive pro-sumer, they not only listen to his music but also internalise its messages, effectively proving to be pro-misogyny, or whatever each particular song imparts. Conversely, a passive con-sumer of Snoop would still avidly listen to his music, but would also actively acknowledge the ‘cons’ of being a chronic woman-hater, etc etc. While there are certainly more grey areas than the pro–con model allows for, adopting this approach validates blasé consumerism, and allows anyone who cares about the issue to take control of the accusatory tone that is implied in the term ‘passive consumerism’. Or maybe it just makes me sound like a whack job.

What's on Books: Writers on Mondays: “Two Tough Girls”—Emma Martin and Amy Head in conversation with Emily Perkins (and, um, can we talk about all the brilliant lady writers? This shit is great). Martin and Head will discuss the art of the short story and their debut collections—Two Girls in a Boat and Tough, respectively. Monday 12.15–1.15, at Te Papa (Level 4, The Marae). Free entry.

Music:  First line up for BW campground festival (preceding RnV) announced. Who would have guessed that Six60 would be headlining?  Listen to ‘Only Sixteen’ by Race Banyon, recently released by Wellington artist Eddie Johnston. About to tour with Sheep, Dog & Wolf in Europe, this kid is one to watch.  The Eversons have released a badass animated video for their song ‘Creepy’.

Film:  Tropfest, the world’s largest short-film festival, gears up in New Zealand for 2014, with entries to the competition now open. The second year of the competition on these shores includes some exciting new developments. The winner in each category will win a prize of $2500, plus a Free Short Course on Campus or a Free Online Course, depending on their location.  The New Zealand International Film Festival - 26 July to 11 August.

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PUZZLES 

PUZZLES

va rie ty pu zz le s & CR OSSWO RD by pu ck — AN SW ERS NE XT ISSUE

'think of a number' - difficulty: easy AIRPHONE AL CAPONE AUCTIONEER BAYONET BREASTBONE CLONE WARS COJONES CONEY ISLAND CYCLONE DEAD ZONE DRAGON EGG EXPONENT FALCONER FLINTSTONE GONE BABY GONE GRAMOPHONE HARPOONED HORMONE JETTISONED LIONESS LONDON EYE MARATHON EVENT MOTIONED NON-ELASTIC OLD-FASHIONED ONEIROMANCY PROVOLONE RECKONER SALMONELLA STONE THE CROWS TATUM O'NEAL THE LONELY ONES TIMEZONE TOUCHTONE PHONE UNDERTONE WISHBONE ZABAGLIONE

LAST ISSUE SOLUTION

Solution for Week 14 – 'Queer Picks' In order from top to bottom: Kumquat, Apricot, Strawberry, Persimmon, Feijoa, Pomegranate, Guava, Tamarillo, Nectarine. Shaded column: Kiwifruit

50

>>> salient.org.nz


 PUZZLES

TARGET

e i p

l r c p n i

QUIZ

Target rating guide: 0-15 words: do you even go here? 16-25 words: alright 26-35 words: decent 36-50 words: PRO 80+ words: free drink

1. What do Nauru and Manus Island have in common? 2. Who is Chairperson of the Republican Movement of Aotearoa New Zealand? 3. In what country is there a region called Inner Mongolia? 4. Who scored the A-League All Stars’ only goal in their recent match against Manchester United? 5. Japanese okonomiyaki, Vietnamese bánh xèo and Korean jeon are different types of what? 6. Which New Zealand author has been nominated for this year’s Man Booker Prize? 7. Siddhārtha Gautama and Shakyamuni are alternative names for who? 8. True or false: Iranian Presidentelect Hassan Rouhani has invited Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu to his upcoming inauguration. 9. What magnitude was the most powerful recorded earthquake ever, in Valdivia, Chile in 1960? 10. How many different New Zealand singing-competition TV shows has

Dominic Bowden now hosted? 11. Which NZ Film Festival film has been banned for general release by the Classification Office? 12. How many Georges have reigned as King of the United Kingdom? 13. What record did English cricketer Joe Root achieve in the second Ashes test last week? 14. Which former US president recently shaved his head in solidarity with a two-year-old leukaemia patient? 15. What is the most populous state in India? 16. Beyoncé recently caught her hair in what piece of onstage equipment? 17. How many seats does the Māori Party have in Parliament? 18. Approximately how many earthquakes affect New Zealand every year? 19. Which plant (or its byproducts) is the main ingredient in rum? 20. Which US city recently filed for bankruptcy?

ANSWERS: 1. They are both locations of Australian-run detention centres for asylum seekers. 2. Lewis Holden. 3. China. 4. Besart Berisha. 5. Pancake 6. Eleanor Catton. 7. The Buddha. 8. False. 9. 9.5. 10. Three (NZ Idol, Pop’s Ultimate Star, and The X Factor). 11. Maniac. 12. Six. 13. He became the youngest English player to score a century at Lord’s against Australia. 14. George Bush, Sr. 15. Uttar Pradesh. 16. A fan. 17. Three. 18. Around 20,000. 19. Sugarcane. 20. Detroit.

SUDOKU difficulty: easy

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difficulty: medium

difficulty: hard

51


LETTERS 

letters letter of the week

win a $10 voucher for the hunter lounge

nice guys finish last Dear Salient, I'm positively shocked that in looking at the wide spectrum of sexuality you did not take time to examine the oft ignored heterosexual male. In the continuing drive for gay rights it seems that straight men are being thrown to the wayside in the name of political correctness. Where are the articles about our unjust and unfair portrayal in the media? We are constantly made out to be in positions of privilege but in reality we are becoming part of a disenfranchised minority. Save us, oh dear Salient, from the equality machine and give us the power to retake our place at the top of society!

Disappointed, and having eaten our weight in sushi for the week; we went to Revive, that fast food joint near the bridge. Settled for indian food at double the price and half as tasty. What a sad Wednesday... Rant over :( Anonymous

the george currently known as prince Dear Salient, It seems that Will and Kate have missed a prime opportunity to give their baby a great name like Charming or Joffrey or Love Symbol #2. Here we are, trying to be weird voyeurs, and they go and do something that isn't entertaining or outrageous in the slightest. I hope they are appropriately ostracised from their celebrity peer group as a result.

Yours,

Yours Sincerely,

Members of the Men's Rights Reddit page

I read women's magazine, wanna make something of it?

finally salient being used as an organ of student opinion Let me start off by asking if anyone knows the story behind the nature photographs scatterred about the uni? What I'm really curious about is how much the Uni paid for them... Second issue. Krishna. I love Krishna and its been a weekly ritual in term 1 for a friend and I. Today it was Krishna time again! Having 8am classes we were ravenous by 10:30am. We were faithful and waited an hour for it to open. Finally time to queue up, only to be massively disappointed with the "Todays lunch contains Peanuts" signage. WHAT! You cater to vegans but left out the allergy sufferer?

52

he lives in a pineapple on lsd

to the nth degree. But my facial hair would just be shapes and sensations out of my forehead, and the real thing that matters is how we like you know…. Feel? Then my head hurt and I had to lie down. Then I started bleeding from my left nipple and I thought I was lactating. But what if my child is just shapes and sensations? How’s that different from, like, spongebob? If he’s a shape and sensation how come he’s not real like terry? Terry’s my Tarsier. He’s my friend. That’s what bob tells me anyway. Bob’s the voice in my head. I think. He might be my flatmate. The shapes and senstations get realli confusing sometimes… Why is the hub underwater? Do they make too much coffee at vic books? Why is no one at my lectures? Patrick out fishbitches

protectionism at its worst

Dear LSD-lient,

Hey Bablyient

I was talking to my mate and I suddenly realised that he was just shapes and sensations. It was trippy, man! I thought about this for a while and then I realised that the whole world was just shapes and sensations. That just leaves death right mannn? I mean, that could come at any time, like if we all turned into spongebob or something? That would be average. Especially if the Kaiju came and attacked us in the ocean man. That would, like, totally suck man. Especially if they had muttonchops…

I couldn't help but wonder at one of the stalls at this tri's Re-lOl week's Club Week, and I was wondering if you could help me out. What sort of slogan is "Seeing is Believing" for a religious, "pro-life" organisation? What are they suggesting, that a baby's life doesn't actually exist until we see it pop out of mummy's vag? Or that we can't believe in faith-based deities until we see them? Maybe they're saying that women's rights don't exist, because it's (unfortunately) too easy to see inequality? I don't know, and I don't think they know either. Also what was with all the men running

I wish I could grow facial hair. Out of my forehead. That would be rad. Like

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 LETTERS

letters these anti-abortion stalls? Congrats on having a penis (me too oi!!!), now stop forcing your ideals on women; not your body bros. Anyway, put more fabulous penguins on your front cover sometime, Yours Truly, An Un-Aborted, Pro-lifing Accident x0x0

they slept with the tuataras Dear Salient

Dear Salient,

Please investigate where the hermits from CyberComms relocated to when the campus was closed post-#eqnz.

The rumors are true. I have left NZ for America, and I'm leaving you for The Point News. Please don't cry over me, dearest Salient, this is the best.

I hope the University is providing them with extensive counselling following the forced evacuation from their residence. Yours Concerned Citizen

another victory for salient <3

bet their ink won't leave as much of an impression

Just know: every time I'm reading her, I'll wish my fingers were running over your illustrious, sexy, colourful, pages instead. Love, Ashok

Dear Babelient, Thank you for covering closely what is going on at VUWSA. As of Tuesday the 23rd (when I am writing this), it has been 46 days since Tapp announced on his personal Facebook page that he was quitting VUWSA. In that time there has not be a single post from VUWSA's page mentioning the fact he has quit, that they co-opted Rick Zwaan in to the Acting WVP role, or that they had then decided they were not going to have a by-election. Without your coverage of the exec, only those (un)fortunate to be friends with Tapp on Facebook would have known anything had happened. Keep up the awesome work keeping VUWSA accountable and transparent.

queentisential etiquette Dear Jenny, Thank you for a very amusing column, I found it quite entertaining. I thought I would point out that, having had the privilege of meeting Her Majesty; she does in fact prefer to be address as Ma’am as in jam, not Ma’am as in farm. She’s been trying to correct this for the last 5 years or so. Kind regards, An Ex Squaddie.

straight white man does diversity well Dear Salient, We notice you passed up the opportunity to call your last issue "Gaylient" in favour of a more PC term. Bravo. Next time, though, we'd really prefer it if you called it LGBTQIA*lient, it's much catchier. Love (is love), Critic xoxo P.S. we made it into The Herald AND Gay Express last week.

Yours, Concerned.

SALIENT LETTERS POLICY 2013 Salient welcomes, encourages, and thrives on public debate – be it serious or otherwise – through its letters pages. Write about anything you like: Beyoncé, puppies, or the metaphysics of space-time. Send us love mail, send us hate mail, send us party invites. We want it all. Letters must be received before 12pm on the Wednesday for publication the next week. Letters must be no longer than 250 words. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number, these will not be printed. Please note that letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar.The Editor reserves the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters without explanation. Letters can be sent to: Email: letters@salient.org.nz Post: Salient, c/- Victoria University of Wellington Hand-delivered: the Salient office, Level 3, Student Union Building (behind the Hunter Lounge)

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53


notices 

NOTICES CAREERS AND JOBS Details on CareerHub: www.careerhub.victoria.ac.nz Applications closing soon:

 Prue will discuss alternative economic

ask them questions. There will also be an

approaches: reject growth in favour of steady

opportunity to mingle with the panelists as

state, sustainability and equity; reject current

well. Refreshments will be provided.

monetary policies in favour of Healthy Money

Tuesday, 30 July 5:15pm-7:15pm

Healthy Planet; work on local initiatives –

Room 217 in the Student Union

transition towns, local trading schemes and Organisations

Closing

currencies; alternative and less energy and

Sport New Zealand

July 29

consumption; and small is beautiful.

Victoria University Film Society: We watch movies.

Staples Rodway

July 31

REFUGEE-BACKGROUND STUDENTS

This week, we're screening Brazil (1985), by

Alltech

Terry Gilliam, a member of Monty Python. Sam

InterContinental Hotels Group Auckland Council

Aug 4

Bell Gully

Aug 9

The Boston Consulting Group Aug 11

Department of Primary Industries/ Sustainability & Environment (Aus) Citi

Aug 16

Orion Health

Aug 22

Phil & Teds

Aug 30

EY The Australian National University

Aug 31

SAS Industitute Australia & NZ Sep 1

Bloomberg

is a public servant on a quest to remedy a

BACKGROUND STUDENTS.

simple administrative error. His task becomes

 Every week day 4-6 pm, there is a drop-

exceedingly more difficult due to the failures of

in centre in on the 10th Floor of the Murphy

both bureaucracy and technology. Occupying

Building in Room 1010, to help you with your

the rare genre of dystopian comedy, Brazil is a

studies. The Centre is run by senior students, and

political satire highlighting how over-reliant we

you can drop by at any time for help with essays,

have become on dysfunctional institutions.

studying for a test, dealing with a tutor, planning

 When: 6:30pm, Thursday 1st August.

your degree, practicing an oral presentation etc.

 Where: SU218, Student Union Building. Cost: Gold coin entry or $10 for annual

Vic OE – Vic Student Exchange Programme

membership. Popcorn and Soft Drinks provided.

Earn Vic credit, get Studylink & grants,

Can Do Movie Night #2

Sep 2

Microsoft Corp

experience! Weekly seminars on Wednesdays,

Come along to Can Do's second social/movie

Level 2, Easterfield Building, 12.50pm

night of the year on the 2nd August! We will be watching the Hobbit. There will be pizza

Employer Presentation July 31 Aug 7

ACCA

Victoria University TaekwonDo Club (WTF style) Interested in Taekwon-Do? New to TaekwonDo? Learned Taekwon-Do before? Come along

Careers Expo Science Careers Expo

Aug 8

and join us! Great way to keep fit and have fun!  Training times: Tuesday 6.30-8 pm, Long

Victoria International Development Society: Speaker Prue Hyman

Room, Victoria University Recreation Centre Saturday 3.30-5 pm, Dance Room, Victoria University Recreation Centre  What you need: Drink bottle, comfy trousers/shorts, T-shirt

 5.15pm-6.45pm, Monday 5th August, CO304, Cotton Building. Prue Hyman (formerly Associate Professor at VUW) will present a 21st century feminist, green, leftist approach to economic analysis and policy.  Orthodox economics should have been discredited by the Global Financial Crisis and its aftermath, as well as its failure to tackle adequately environmental issues/ climate change. However, governments, big business, and international organisations are restoring business almost as usual, despite the negative environmental, social, and economic impacts on all but their own institutions and the wealthy worldwide.

54

 facebook.com/groups/vicunifilmsociety

explore the world! The best university

Simpson Grierson

Clemenger Group

DROP-IN CENTRE FOR REFUGEE-

 Contact us: vuwtkd@hotmail.com We are affiliated to the TaeKwonDo Union of NZ (TUNZ)

Women in Politics Panel Discussion VUWSA Women’s Group and Youth for UN Women NZ invite you to attend an engaging panel discussion with some very influential

and popcorn provided! We'll start at 5.30pm. See you there!

BUSINESS CLUB Business and Investment Club (BIC) invites you to the next guest speaker event this trimester: "Running a strip club business" with Jacqui Le Prou, owner of the Calendar Girls club network. In this exciting talk, Jacqui will reveal many interesting information about this cool industry, tell her own story behind starting and running Calendar Girls, what were the beginnings like, what is her entrepreneurial and managerial style, whether she relies on other people or prefers to run everything by herself, if and how has the business affected her life, would she have done anything differently if she had the chance and maybe will even disclose some background behind the rough competition in Wellington market. Takes place on Monday 5th August at 4.30pm in room SU218.l

women: Helen Kelly, Jan Logie, Rae Julian,

Notices Policy: Salient provides a free notice service for

Claudette Hauiti, and Greta Snyder. Curious

all VIctoria students, VUWSA-affiliated clubs not-for-profit

about some of the rewards and challenges

organisations. Notices should be received by 5pm Tuesday the week before publication. Notices must be fewer than 100 words.

of being a woman in politics? Come along to

For-profit organisations will be charged $15 per notice. Send

hear the panelists’ unique experiences and

notices to editor@salient.org.nz with 'Notice' in the subject line.

>>> salient.org.nz


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of

Terror of the Deep

William John Hooker (free!)

san francisco bathhouse

Ghetto Sunrise 8pm ($10)

bodega meow cafe

salient.org.nz <<<

The Transistors LP Release Closed for Private Function

:(

Big Band Night (free!)

Latin Club 8:30pm (free!)

The JAM (free!)

puppies the southern cross

sat 3

Stitch & Bitch 7:00pm

Electric Quiz 8pm - 10pm

Kroon For Your Kai 6:30pm

Wellington Sea Shanty Society

Hi Ka Brr 9pm (free!)

Bond Street Bridge

The Drab Doo-Riffs 9pm ($10)

Urban Tramper/ Fuyukos Fables

Carlos Navae Band

Child Cancer Foundation Fundrazor 55


SPEAK UP for an independent, inclusive and effective

STU

DENT

VOICE

Coming to Vic, you have thousands of reasons to care about the quality of education and student experience that you receive here. Most of us have huge student loans to remind us.

For what we pay, we deserve a say. The best way for students to get our voices heard is together –through our own Students’ Association.

Open your inbox to speak up for what works today. VICTORIA REPRESENTATION

REVIEW

YOUR STUDENTS’

ASSOCIATION


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