12: The Offline Issue

The Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria University, Wellington

volume

74

issue

12

may

30

2011

, h t fil cts & fa lsit y fa

salient.org.nz

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Salient Vol. 74

The Team

Editors: Uther Dean and Elle Hunt editor@salient.org.nz Designer: Dan Hutchinson designer@salient.org.nz News Editor: Hannah Warren news@salient.org.nz Chief Reporter: Natalie Powlesland natalie@salient.org.nz Feature Writer: Selina Powell selina@salient.org.nz Feature Writer: Zoe Reid zoe@salient.org.nz Chief Sub-Editor: Carlo Salizzo carlo@salient.org.nz Online Editor: James Hurndell james@salient.org.nz Arts Editor: Louise Burston arts@salient.org.nz

Contributors

Hayley Adams, Morgan Ashworth, Caitlin Attenburrow, Auntie Sharon, Stuart Bast Baker, Oliver Beyer, Stella Blake-Kelly, Seamus Brady, Meg Brosnan, Lexie Brown, Austin Burgess, David Burr, Kelly Cassiel, Angus Chapman, Barney Chunn, Tom Clarke, Paul ComrieThomson, Johnny Crawford, Constance Cravings, Donnie Cuzens, Ben Fagan, Ally Garrett, Michael Gilbert, Jason Govenlock, Ben Hague, Ryan Hammond, Campbell Herbert, Russ Kale, Robyn Kenealey, Jepha Krieg, Cory Knights, Sarita Lewis, Renee Lyons, Timothy McKennaBolton, Brendon Mackenzie, Jono Mcleod Callum McDougal, Kimaya McIntosh, Nick Meehan, Gabrielle Mentjox, Sam Northcott, Kate Pike, Jonathan Price, Jess Rapana, Sharon Renfro, Bayley Roylance, Chris Salter, Romany Tasker-Poland, Michael Torr, Edward Warren, Doc Watson, Nicola Wood, Clare Marcie Wilson, Flo Your Own Way Wilson, and Caitlin Wyllie

Contributor of the week: Ben Fagan. Thanks for saving our asses.

About Us

Salient is produced by independent student journalists, employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of, syndicated and supported by the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). It is printed by APN Print of Tauranga. Opinions expressed are not necessarily representative of those of ASPA, VUWSA, Printcorp or Englishmen with many voices and balloons for faces, but we of Salient are proud of our beliefs and take full responsibility for them.

Contact

VUWSA Student Media Centre Level 3, Student Union Building Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington Phone: 04 463 6766 Email: editor@salient.org.nz

Advertising

Contact: Howard Pauling Phone: 04 463 6982 Email: sales@vuwsa.org.nz

Other

Subscriptions: Too lazy to walk to uni to pick up a copy of your favourite mag? We can post them out to you for a nominal fee. $40 for Vic student, $55 for everyone else.

Please send an email containing your contact details with ‘subscription’ in the subject line to editor@salient.org.nz This issue is dedicated to Hannah Warren. You did good.

er! n Twitt We’re o agazine! tm @salien

Like Salie n Faceboo t on k! people ca 1637 n’t be wrong!

The Regular Bits Editorial 3 Ngāi Tauira 4

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editorial

Issue 12 Offline

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MOR E ON e! All tha t AND LY at blanc t h e in mang e of jo ternet y tha salie nt.or t is g.nz!

News 5 LOL News 7 7

Overheard @ Vic 7 Notices 22 Letters 22 Puzzles 23 Comics 23

The Features RIP NZPA 9 Evolution of Salient 10 Life Without Facebook

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Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave

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Save the Postman 13 Whippersnappers Anonymous 14 How the World Is Poisoning Us

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The Lomo Experience 18

The Columns VUWSA President 3 VUWSA Exec 4 Politics with Paul 8 Local Politics: Kate Follows Celia

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Beer Will Be Beer

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Lovin’ From The Oven

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Healthy Minds on Campus

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Ask Constance 16 I Am Offended Because...

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Peas & Queues 17 Animal of the Week

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The Arts Books 19 Film 19 Visual Arts 19 Music 20 Theatre 20 Games 21

Offline Uther Dean So. Last week’s Salient existed solely on the internet and now this one is all newsprint, big and kinda from the past. What’s up with that?

Well, a part of the reasoning was framed by our obsessive need for symmetry—following a futuristic digitech Online issue with a cheap, tabloid, newsprint inkity-split Offline issue seemed like too good an idea to not follow through—but the biggest part is couched in our interest in Salient’s future and, by way of that, its past.

Salient’s positioning of itself as more of a magazine than a newspaper is a relatively new move in its life choreography as a publication. It was only in the lateish ‘80s that magazine style features started appearing in these pages. Before that Salient was almost exclusively news-based (dotted with very occasional opinion pieces and comedy gossip items) in its four or eight pages.

As we face an uncertain future both in how journalism in general operates and distributes itself (especially with the recent death of the NZPA, about which there is more on pg. 9) and how Salient specifically is going to be in the future with the great cloak of VSM descending, we need to look at ourselves

and really think about how Salient will be in the future.

Salient is, in its current-form, not expensive. But, neither is it cheap by any means.

We simply do not know what next year’s editor or editors will be faced with when they sit down to negotiate next year’s budget. Maybe it will be relatively fair sailing or maybe they will be forced to half running costs of Salient. Last week and this week’s issues are here to show ourselves, future Salienteers and you, our audience, what Salient might be like in the future. Or it might not. It might look like it normally does. But on better paper. Or worse paper.

While financial considerations are always pressing on our minds and our way of working, want you want as readers is also incredibly important to us. Tell us what you want Salient to look like in the future. Send us an email or drop in the office for a chat. This is your magazine. It should be in a form you are happy with.

So, let us know!

Are you sitting comfortably? Good. Then we’ll begin, Uther Dean (23 days without a cigarette) ALSO ALSO ALSO—Do you want some free Dominate Hair Product? Then just send us an email at letters@ salient.org.nz with I WANT FREE HAIR STUFF in the subject line by the end of this week and you’ll be in the draw for some!

PREZ COL sefulu-tolu

president@vuwsa.org.nz vuwsa.org.nz facebook.com/vuwsa

The Week That Wasn’t

Seamus Brady Student organisations like VUWSA exist because as students we must always have a strong voice in decisions that affect us, and to ensure that our collective interests are protected. Often it’s easy to forget the work that organisations like VUWSA do on a daily basis, often because it has become second nature, and in VUWSA’s case, we’ve been doing so for one hundred and eleven years.

Representation that is tokenistic is not proper representation. It only works and is effective when all aspects of the system work together. VUWSA is acutely aware of this, and over the last three years we have explicitly tried to build a strategic partnership with the University to ensure that our voices are heard and our representatives carry mana.

That’s why VUWSA has made a huge effort to grow and develop our student representation structures to ensure the student voice is effective and strong. This trimester, student representation is the best it has ever been. Our solid and wide ranging submission on the undergraduate education review is testament to the strength of our class rep system, the focus on engaging students on issues, which has provided us with powerful high-level information that is going to have an impact.

You have representatives on national bodies (like Student Job Search), the University Council, Academic Board and Committee, every Faculty Board, and most importantly they are in almost every class. VUWSA representatives have had fantastic successes in recent weeks, some of which I mentioned last week.

For VUWSA; having Class Representatives in all courses is an absolute priority. It’s the foundation of a solid representative structure and means all issues can be addressed in a timely and consistent manner. This trimester 91% of classes have Class Representatives.

This is huge and has a massive impact on our student experience. It is unparalleled anywhere else in New Zealand, or even in most institutions across the Tasman.

Last year the number was only 73%, and the year before that it was only 44%.

Better yet, of the 537 Class Representatives we have this trimester, 80% of them have attended either basic or advanced training. I have no doubt that these numbers will continue to increase over the year as students, VUWSA, and the University all begin to work more closely together.

VUWSA is strong when our representatives are.

VUWSA is accountable and transparent when our representatives are. This puts a huge onus on your student representatives to perform, and for them to drive initiatives in ways that best serve you and other students.

That’s what VUWSA exists to do, and all representatives at all levels are expected to put the required effort. Those that don’t are wasting your time and money. You should not tolerate that.

Our recently completed annual audit (by BDO Spicers) was passed by students at March’s IGM. It commented on the strong performance of, and improvement in, VUWSA’s financial management and administration. The many changes implemented over the past three years have seen stricter policies and processes put in place that that goes to great lengths to foster transparency and accountability.

The point of this column is not to display VUWSA’s peacock feathers or to flaunt our successes. Instead it’s a reminder that your association is here to serve you, the students who make it. That is why we survey all students on how we’re performing, how students rate the importance of what we do and their opinions on issues.

VUWSA is not a perfect organisation; no organisation is (including the University). But in order to continue to develop VUWSA’s strengths we must ensure that our representatives are up to the job and willing to further the goals of the Association. VUWSA has great, hardworking, and enthusiastic reps, volunteers, and staff, but we still need more.

So good luck with exams, and enjoy the free breakfasts we’re putting on at all campuses as part of Stress-Free Study Week. I’ll see you at the start of trimester two and Re-Orientation!

Love, Seamus Brady

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Salient Vol. 74

Activities Officer Campbell Herbert This is my final column.

A shame, really, because it’s only my second (and I know how much you all love to ready my sultry words). Like all the exec columns before mine, this will be about VUWSA. Unlike the others, though, it won’t be a bland recitation of events that we hold or services we provide (or, in the case of Daniel Wilson, a treatise on free market economics and the failings of the welfare state).

Rather, I thought I would devote my space today to a critical reflection on the role of VUWSA, and the efficacy of that which occurs within it.

When I ran for VUWSA toward the end of last year, it wasn’t because I had a great desire to assist students (I still don’t), nor because I was a member of the Workers Party (I’m not, and never have been), nor because I wanted to pad out my CV (this won’t even go on my CV). It was because I was pissed off that, each year, in exchange for services that I never took advantage of (because I didn’t want them), I had to give a grossly inefficient association $150 of my hard-earned money. The organisation purported to represent my views but campaigned on issues with a stance opposite to my own. It claimed it was acting in the best interests of student but spent money on stupid shit like a “souped-up van” that no students would even actually be able to use. Put fairly simply, it was a bit of a joke which, while having laudable goals, was really only of benefit to those ‘working’ within it.

Having now spent six months inside, I can reflect and honestly say my position has not changed.

It is clear to anyone who reads our fortnightly work reports that the vast majority of executive members have little to do, and certainly not enough to make up their requisite hours for the period. Additionally, there is a total lack of scrutiny or accountability. My own reports are clear evidence of this (as are many others—but for fear of being beaten to death by Asher or Daniel, I shan’t indicate who else is in such a boat). Complaints about the lack of work are met with a rather telling response: Bridie has maintained “your role is what you make it”, but this simply misses the point. For the organisation to function with even a vestige of efficiency, there need to be clear targets and clear goals against which the work done can be assessed. The only assessment at the moment is exec voting to approve the reports (which is done en-masse), and every member has the same incentive to approve yours as you do to approve theirs: there is a mutual understanding that nothing actually gets done, but to break the code of silence would be to risk your pay packet for uncertain (or even unachievable) gain.

In the long term, I think the initial problem (of a lack of work) can be resolved through a reduction in the number of positions on the executive (and ultimately there will need to be some cutting down to survive the transition to VSM anyway). At the risk of offending a number of groups, I ask the following: Do women really need their own rights officer? Do queer students? Does the activities portfolio even need to exist? And why the fuck is Vice-President (Admin)

Do women really need their own rights officer? Do queer students?

Does the activities portfolio even need to exist?

And why the fuck is Vice-President (Admin) still VicePresident (Admin)

*

Campbell Herbert activities.officer@vuwsa.org.nz

Study Wananga Exam Revision Sessions

For Māori and Pacific Students Commerce and Administration Exam Revision Sessions MY101, Murphy Building, Kelburn Time 9am – 11am 11am – 1pm 1pm – 3pm 3pm – 5pm

Tues, June 7 QUAN102 John Randal TOUR101 & TOUR104 Heike Schaenzel and Karen Smith ECON130 Osman Hussein

Wed, June 8 ACCY111 Rodney Dormer MGMT101 Garry Tansley FCOM111 Chris Eichbaum Les Brown

Thu, June 9 MGMT206 Jay Newdick MARK101 Martyn Gosling MGMT205 & MGMT202 Brock Starnes ACCY231 Rachel Baskerville

Humanities and Social Sciences Exam Revision Sessions MY102, Murphy Building, Kelburn Time 10am – 11am

Tues, June 7

11am – 12pm

PASI101 Teresia & Kelo MAOR215 Maria Bargh SOSC111 Chamsey el Ojeilil SOSC111 Kevin Dew

12 – 1pm 1 – 2pm

off bell is Camp any next rm to Ge ster. Bye, m tri e eez, you Mr Ch ouda exec ag were ember! m

still Vice-President (Admin), despite recognition within and outside the exec that it was made into a vice-presidential position so that the person who held the role (at that time, not now—in defence of Daniel) could be paid more, not because it was a responsibility worthy of the elevated position.

Finally, and I must apologise for this as it is something that I campaigned on but have failed to implement, there needs to be a better recognition of what students actually want from the association. All too often VUWSA gets caught up in internal bureaucracy; an event idea that has merit will be turned down by the association manager because “it’s not what the data shows students want” (apparently you guys want more music, but I’m sure there’s more than that, right?), or the necessary layers of sign-off (which admittedly protect against fraud) will prove too onerous to push though.

The interim solution to all of these problems is quite clear: as members of the association (albeit by force) you are entitled to attend the exec meetings. So long as you aren’t an annoying git, you’ll more than likely be granted speaking rights. Use this opportunity to ask questions of exec, to have them explain what they are doing with your money: if the other members won’t hold them accountable, then you should.

2 – 3pm

Wed, June 8 POLS111 Jess Booker POLS112 Ternce Green CLAS104 Mathew Trundle SPOL113 Carol Harrington

Thu, June 9 MAOR123 Marie Cocker MAOR123 Marie Cocker

ENG111 Tatjana Schaeffer

For more information, please contact: Estelle Richards, Tumuaki Tuarua Mātauranga Ngāi Tauira Māori Students Association estelle.richards@vuw.ac.nz (04) 463 6978

Nga Taura Umanga

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Issue 12 Offline

WE WANT YOU TO EDIT OUR NEWS PAGES!

the news

For various reasons, including a thing for raw fish, our news editor is leaving us next semester.

If you think you can fill her (size nine) boots, we want to hear from you!

Paid 10 hours a week (a little overtime is normal in this office) and includes pizza, fame and great work experience.

Edited by Hannah Warren

You must:

• Have excellent people skills • Have a good grasp of the news format and style • Be all over spelling/ grammar/punctuation • Be super organised

EYE on Exec

To apply, email editor@salient.org.nz by June 21 with the subject line ‘Application for News Editor Position’. Include a sample of your writing, your CV and a cover letter explaining why you think you are great enough to fill this role.

23/05/11 Elle Hunt

The VUWSA exec were in high spirits at their tenth general meeting last week. In particular, Vice-President (Administration) Daniel Wilson and Activities Officer Campbell Herbert appeared to be engaged in a competition “to see who could piss the furtherest” [sic], as one exec member was later heard to comment.

the VUW Badminton Club to cover the cost of new shuttlecocks, which even Wilson conceded seemed a ridiculous amount.

The meeting began with the usual formalities. President Seamus moved to accept Clubs Officer Jeremy Peters’ absence and Vice-President (Welfare) Asher Emanuel’s lateness. Wilson requested an explanation for both but was dismissed as a pedant.

Wilson then moved that a total of $1,900 be granted to five sportspeople to assist with expenses relating to attendance at an ultimate frisbee test match and a rowing test series, both held in Australia. This was also accepted by the exec.

We then moved onto the perusal of work reports. A number of exec members, including Wilson, Emanuel and Environment Officer Haley Mortimer, have failed to make up their deficit of hours.

Vice-President (Education) Bridie Hood resolved to collate the number of hours owed by each exec member after the meeting.

Herbert updated the exec on his pet initiative ‘T-Bone Tuesday’, which is scheduled for Re-Orientation next trimester.

As far as I could glean, this is a somewhat vitriolic response to ‘Meat-Free Mondays’, an event that I have never heard of but am told is hosted on campus each week.

President Seamus referred to a group such as Auckland University’s Meat Club, which is hosting a BBQ of emu in the near future, as “something to strive for”.

“Maybe we could look at importing kangaroo and alligator or something,” agreed Herbert with enthusiasm.

Reader, I couldn’t make this up.

President Seamus then asked International Students’ Officer Yuan Guo on a project he is involved in that appears to be of questionable relevance to Victoria University students. The nature of this undertaking seemed unclear to all other members of the exec, and after a laborious explanation failed to clear matters up, the two resolved to discuss it at a later date.

Wilson managed to raise a laugh when he pointed out that Mortimer had identified meeting with Peters “to discuss hook-up” as her objective for the coming fortnight.

Other than that, work reports were accepted without comment.

Wilson then reported on a Sports Council meeting that was held two weeks ago. He put forward that 13 clubs, including DebSoc, be affiliated to VUWSA for 2011, which the exec accepted unanimously.

He then recommended that over $10,000 in total be granted to nine clubs to assist with expenses. This included a grant of $1,700 to

“It was explained to us that you can apparently only use them once,” he explained.

The motion was passed without opposition.

The exec then moved into Committee for 12 minutes from 5.54pm to discuss “confidential and commercially sensitive matters” that I am not allowed to report on. During this period, I took an amusing photo of myself on Photobooth that made it look like I was on a roller-coaster, prompting a barbed comment from Wilson about the activities of “the fourth estate”.

Emanuel and Welfare Officer Ta’ase Vaoga then talked about their plans for ‘stress-free study week breakfasts’, which are scheduled to begin in early June. Vaoga referred repeatedly to a ‘doodle’, which stumped this reporter. Goodbye, ‘soft copy’: VUWSA’s got a new buzzword.

Both Hood and Education Officer Jennifer Fellows expressed concern that not enough exec members had come forward to volunteer with administering said breakfasts. Hood said students could not be trusted to serve themselves because “they can get very messy”.

At Wilson’s request, VUWSA discussed the Budget announcement. Herbert questioned the point of this but President Seamus said one of the association’s eight goals was to promote discussion on issues concerning students as citizens, to which Herbert waspishly retorted: “Do you realise the seventh one is efficiency?”

Wilson said that he was “generally in favour” of the Budget announcement, and expressed a desire to pass a motion to this effect. When this was met with negative reactions that ranged from irritation (“we’re not supposed to be giving our personal view on the Budget”) to open hostility (“let’s not politicise this, Daniel”), he withdrew his request, stating that he’d felt a “vibe”.

The meeting was closed at 6.18pm. At under an hour long, this was one of the shortest I’d ever attended, but it was not without its points of interest. It might be burn-out from the end of a long trimester, it might be the stress of approaching exams, but cracks are beginning to show in the VUWSA exec.

Watch this space.

WELLYWOODN’T BEN HAGUE Traffic slowed to a crawl last Monday at Wellington Airport as a “slow-moving vehicle” protest was held in opposition to the Wellywood sign.

The protest was in opposition to the announcement that Wellington Airport intend to build the Wellywood sign in time for the Rugby World Cup. Victoria University student Andy Boreham started the event on Facebook called “Driving Protest at Wellington Airport: NO WELLYWOOD SIGN!” “We will drive around in loops over the airport drop-off area with signs and music, to show that we don’t agree with this plan,” said Boreham.

A convoy of around 20 to 30 cars drove through the pick-up area, honking their horns, flashing lights and yelling out their windows.

Airport CEO Steve Fitzgerald labelled the protesters as “green radical activists” and told The Dominion Post that people opposed to the sign were extreme and had a “pack mentality.”

“It is a really, really ugly part of a campaign that those who are anti the sign are absolutely intolerant of anyone who wants to say they like it,” he says.

However, a policeman directing traffic at the protest said that although there were

the same “dickheads” you get at every protest, on the whole protesters were well mannered and there were no major problems, apart from a few frustrated travellers.

Boreham said disrupting passengers was a price worth paying, and he was pleased with the way the protest went.

“Public disruption is a necessary sacrifice with any successful protest. There are many, many positives that come with our right to protest that far outweigh any negatives.”

Debate about the sign has stormed on Facebook and Twitter. A Facebook group called “Wellingtonians Against the Wellywood Sign” has gained over 24,000 members since last Saturday.

The “Support Wellywood” Facebook page has over 10,000 members, but over half the comments are against the sign.

Boreham is not ruling out any future action.

“We’ll regroup, and see what happens.

I couldn’t discount the idea of any more protests.”

Paul Eagle for Wellington City Council

“Wow, there’s now over 24,000 of us (including the PM) who don’t want this dumb sign. The Airport company, that we own 34% of, should be putting its resources into securing a long haul airline, further developing the airport’s infrastructure and/or improving the overall customer experience. In the meantime, keep signing up support :)’

And you thought yours was bad!

JESS RAPANA Recent figures have revealed that 50 New Zealand borrowers owe over $11 million of debt in student loans.

This includes eight who each owe more than $280,000. These figures have surfaced with the government’s 2011 Budget, which aims to significantly cut costs of government spending in wake of the Christchurch earthquake recovery. Part of this recovery effort involves steppingup efforts to recall outstanding student loans.

NZUSA co-president, Max Hardy said that the 50 biggest debtors were not indicative of all graduates. The median loan balance is $11,900.

Several changes were made to the student loan scheme in the new budget: students over 55 are no longer able to get student loans to cover living-costs; part-time students are not able to get course-related costs; and the overseas repayment holiday period will decrease from three years to one and borrowers must apply and provide a contact person.

New Zealander of the Year and Victoria Physics Professor, Sir Paul Callaghan has recently launched ‘Heke,’ a campaign that appeals to the 85,000 Kiwi graduates living abroad—who owe over $2 billion—to pay back their student loans.

salient.org.nz

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Salient Vol. 74

CLASS REPS get a good rep Stella Blake-Kelly VUWSA awarded their inaugural Class Representative Scholarships for Trimester 1 at a function at the Hunter Lounge last week.

The scholarships are part of a new initiative to recognise class representatives who had performed to an exceptionally high standard.

Eight of the 30 students who applied were presented with Scholarships of a certificate and a $100 VicBooks voucher.

There was one recipient from each faculty, except for Humanities and Social Sciences which had 2 due to its size.

“We’ve been really impressed with the amount of effort and work class reps have put in this Trimester and scholarships are just a way to formally acknowledge our thanks for all their hard work,” VUWSA Vice-President (Education) Bridie Hood said.

“Nationally Victoria leads every other University in the quality and number of class reps,” said VUWSA President Seamus Brady.

There has been a significant increase in the percentage of courses with a class representative, from 44 percent in 2009 to 91 percent this Trimester.

Many of the winners found a way to turn Facebook into a productive use of time, by creating pages for their classes to facilitate course discussion. One cited it as “an easy way for people to be casual about it, and not be nerdy.”

Students will have another opportunity to get a Class Representative Scholarship during Trimester 2.

PHD CONFIRMS: facebook is AWESOME NICOLA WOOD Research by a recent Victoria University PhD graduate has confirmed the power of social media for promoting business.

Dr Nick Thompson's investigation reveals that the use of sites like Facebook and Twitter can encourage consumers to act as “unofficial ambassadors” for brands, promoting them in discussion with peers.

“We all know that word-of-mouth recommendations are really valuable and social media can make that happen,” he explains.

VUWSA produced their submission on the undergraduate review last week, based on a survey and a forum offered to students.

Students were keen for a greater emphasis to be placed on research skills—both in teaching and assessments—but not at the cost of ‘real-world’ skills.

A key change means part-time full year students will be unable to receive the $1000 course-related costs component of the loan.

The government justifies this change by stating that part-time students are better able to meet their course costs by working.

One student believes this change goes too far.

A number of businesses on Victoria University's campus use social media to market themselves.

The New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) also opposes this change.

Students spoken to by Salient attribute the most effective use of social media by an on-campus organisation to VUWSA. The students' association's Facebook page is connected with 2,084 people.

“We are very angry at the removal of course costs for part time students...For many it will make study just too expensive.” says NZUSA co-president Max Hardy.

Although Salient was outdone by VicBooks in a recent student survey about which services they use, the magazine appears to be more popular online. Salient's Facebook page has 1637 'likes' compared to the book shop's 399.

It focused on five key areas of the undergraduate experience: research-led teaching and learning; specialist/broad balance; curriculum threads; assessment; and opportunities to broaden study.

The 2011 Budget was focussed on cutting debt and re-building Christchurch, meaning many government programmes, including student loans, were adjusted.

“Air New Zealand is also talked about a lot online with, for example, people getting in touch with friends and family to tell them about the daily Grabaseat deals or their experience flying with them to overseas destinations. That helps strengthen customer relationships”.

“Our survey of students last year clearly showed that communication was a major priority for us and that social media was an extremely useful tool to get our message out. It also gives students an easy way to communicate and find out things from us in a less formal way. We have plans to make the page more interactive in the next few months."

Hannah ‘FURY’ Warren

Many students are set to lose access to parts of the student loan scheme due to changes made in this year’s Budget.

There are 98,000 part-time full year students nationwide. In 2009, 24,200 borrowers were in part-time, full-year study and 13,600 of these accessed course-related costs.

VUWSA President Seamus Brady says the association realises the importance of connecting with students through social media.

has an Opinion on Undergrads

NATALIE POWLESLAND

Thompson's research focuses on Air New Zealand's brand, which he says is seen as likeable and patriotic. He argues social media plays a vital role in creating this image.

“It tells me stuff that I probably wouldn't find out about otherwise... like it's more effective than the posters around uni”, says one student.

VUWSA

Few Students “Re-Joycing” over Loan Changes

“This change seems unfair,” she says. “Surely as part-time students they should get some money, maybe less though, like $500.”

Students over the age of 55 will not be able to access the living costs and course-related costs components of the loan from 2013.

In a joint press release with Grey Power, NZUSA stated this change is discriminatory.

“Shutting out older students for no other reason than to cut costs is discriminatory and unfair,” says NZUSA co-President David Do. “At 55 many students have up to 20 years of work left—that is a hugely valuable contribution to New Zealand,” says Hardy.

Many Victoria students echo this view.

“Just because they are older, it doesn’t mean they can afford to go to uni, it’s expensive” says one.

Repayment thresholds have been frozen at $19,084 until April 2015. This means a graduate will have to begin paying back their loan once earn over this amount.

NZUSA believe this threshold is too harsh, especially compared to Australia’s threshold of $44,912.

Master Your Destiny.

Students felt that greater flexibility was needed in their degrees, especially at first-year level.

Many students commented that they and that they ought to be encouraged, but not obliged, to study courses outside their majors.

There was support for the idea of curriculum threads, but concern that they would be built into existing courses arbitrarilly.

Students complained that there are insufficient assessment criteria and irregular feedback to work, which made it difficult for them to gain anything from their work. There was a split in respondents—some found there wasn’t enough assessment and others commented that there was too much emphasis on assignments, not leaving enough time for deeper thinking.

Feedback on outside study programmes like VicPlus encouraged rebranding to make them seem more like development programmes rather than leadership programmes. There was also a call for more practical experiences and field trips.

VUWSA will be working with the Review of Undergraduate Education Steering Group and its associated Working Parties towards the improvement of the undergraduate programme over the next few months.

ZO170157B-V1 CRICOS: 00116K

The most important idea that was presented in the submission was that students want more communication between themselves and Victoria regarding what they want inside and outside the classroom.

Melbourne Course Information Sessions • Wellington - Mon 13 June, 7 - 8.30pm, Civic Suite 3, Wellington Convention Centre, 111 Wakefield Street • Auckland - Thurs 16 June, 7 - 8.30pm, Mercure Hotel, 8 Customs Street

Come and talk to the University of Melbourne about our undergraduate study options and graduate programs in over 340 different areas at our annual information session for future students and their families.

Register online at www.futurestudents.unimelb.edu.au/newzealand

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Issue 12 Offline

The changes also reflect the government’s goal to encourage students living overseas pay back their loans.

in the Government’s other priorities to boost the country’s economic recovery,” he says.

Currently a student can take a loan ‘repayment holiday’ of three years whilst overseas. This has been reduced to one year.

Overall, students appear to be indifferent to the changes. Most spoken to by Salient did not know the changes had occurred. The few who were aware of them were unconcerned because they did not affect them.

“The change is restricting our right to a kiwi OE,” says one student.

Students who have $500 or more in overdue loan repayments for more than a year will have loan access frozen.

New loan applications must also have a "contact person" to help track down debtors.

Together, these changes will create $450 million in savings over four years.

Of these savings, $150 million will be reallocated within the tertiary sector and about $300 million will return to the Government.

Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce says the changes will allow more investment in tertiary education.

“The savings from the measures will be used to provide funding for new tertiary education initiatives and investment

Of the few who did care, some were in favour of the changes.

“I think the changes are good if means I won’t get landed with interest,” said one student.

“They are sensible choices that will allow the government to remain solvent and provide student welfare into the future,” said another.

Others were less impressed.

“The government needs to be investing in students to help improve the economy,” says one.

“The government is just playing around with student loans because they don’t like the interest-free scheme,” says another.

y

“Would you marry me when we are seventy? You have nothing to lose,” says Key Edward Warren Following the Government’s 2011 Budget announcement, Prime Minister John Key and Finance Minister Bill English have set out to quell the concerns of those opposed to the financial plan.

While the pair intend to stand strong on their budgetary declarations, they set out last week in what is being called ‘Hugging the Nation: National’s 2011 Campaign for Re-election’.

The campaign plan, published last Friday, includes no mention of fiscal compromise; it instead comprises a list of things that Key and English plan on doing to make everyone ‘feel a bit better’. Among that list are: tucking the population of New Zealand into bed, cleaning over 400 student residences following flat-parties when everyone’s in town that night, and ‘getting the bill’ unprompted, on a number of occasions.

Cape Reinga resident Pareao Ahitana, 36, said that the experience had in fact made her feel a lot better about the coming year. “I’d just gotten into bed when John came in with a glass of water and a copy of The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies. He sat on the edge of

Isaiah Doyle and The Appropriate Place For Capital Punishment In March, a man convicted of Murder, Isaiah Doyle, took the witness stand in the penalty part of his trial. At a point where most people would do something to try and avoid the death penalty, which was already looking likely for Doyle, he instead said to the jurors, “If I had an AK-47, I’d kill every last one of y’all with no remorse”. He did indeed get the death penalty.

Riding On Cars With Kids Shelly Waddell, 36-year-old Maine resident, has been charged with child endangerment after witnesses reported seeing Waddell’s family van driving along the street with her two children sitting on the roof wrapped in a blanket. Waddell denied the claim but was found guilty. The time of the offence was 3.30 a.m.

Niceville There is a place in Florida called Niceville. In this town during last year’s Christmas parade, a city municipal employee climbed on board a city truck that was part of the parade and demanded a co-worker, the driver, to get down from the truck so he could ‘whip [his] ass’ for ‘taking [his] overtime’. The employee was charged with Drunk and Disorderly and was asked not to bring his mates to next year’s Christmas party.

Shovelhead: Artist, Mannequin Collector, Quilter, Traditionalist Louis ‘Shovelhead’ Garrett, resident of Louisiana, Missouri, sews quilts out of ladies’ underwear. He displayed his latest work at a women’s luncheon in Hannibal, Missouri. The local newspaper reported him as having said, “No polyester. I don’t want those cheap, dollarstore, not-sexy, farm-girl panties. I want classy—silk or nylon.” Garrett is not currently in a relationship.

the week that wasn’t

Key Confirms Cutbacks, Carries Out Cuddle Campaign

Edward Warren

Yarbrough: Scooter Owner, Charmer, Hero my bed, read me a few chapters, and then tucked me in nice and tight. I was beginning to feel a bit more confident in his government’s economic proposals, then he leaned in, kissed me on the forehead and whispered in my ear, “Things will turn out the way you want, if you could just stop doubting that I love you.” That was when I knew that we’d be safe and sound in John’s velveteen arms.”

Adam Yarbrough, 22, was booked by a female police officer for reckless driving in Indianapolis, Indiana. He was spotted swerving in and out of traffic on the interstate highway on his scooter. He first tried to “get rid of this ticket” by offering the police officer a five-dollar bribe; he then tried a different approach, asking her, “How about I give you a kiss?” Yarbrough did not get out of the ticket, was charged with felony bribery, and had a whole bunch of drinks bought for him that evening (presumably).

c Bla Bla Bla

While most accounts of John and Bill’s bedside visits have echoed Ahitana’s glowing sentiment, not all have taken the ‘warm and fuzzy’ political approach so well.

“It was nice at first but then Key turned off the light and lingered in the room by the door. I asked him what he was doing and he said, “I like it when you cry, because it means you have to wear your glasses. No, actually I don’t like it when you cry. I find it horrible.

Especially when it’s not for me.” It was a bit awkward to be honest.” said Kerikeri resident Miles Hopkirk.

Not the first of National’s ‘less-thanconventional’ initiatives, ‘Hugging the Nation’ is, however, the first well-received attempt at reaching the public through alternative avenues.

In 2009, Women’s Affairs minister Hekia Parata was publicly denounced by women’s rights groups for her ‘Building Site Strategy’ in trying to combat negative self image in young New Zealand women.

Parata set up groups of young to middle aged men at central locations around the country who were employed to wolf-whistle and yell sexually suggestive things at ‘girls and women of all shapes, sizes and colour,’ in an effort to promote the concept that all females are beautiful.

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Overheard on the overbridge: “Lady Gaga is like a male David Bowie.”

Michael Torr POLS 112 Lecturer: “Isn’t masturbation cool?”

Stuart Bast Baker

20-year-old male: “I have to be home by 2.00pm for SpongeBob.” Michael Gilbert

ANTH 315 Lecturer: “Would you accept a pedophile’s kidney?”

Oliver Beyer

PSYC 121 Lecturer: “You know, when you’re in an aeroplane, and there are people on each side, you’re packed in like sardines and you have this much space, and I can never open the plastic cheese... where was I going with this again?”

Kelly Cassiel

Overheard in the library foyer: “David Bain has ruined so many sweaters for so many people.”

Austin Burgess

Overheard outside law school Girl 1: “Where’s the cable car?”

Girl 2: “What do you mean, ‘where’s the cable car’? Where have you been in Wellington for your whole life?”

Nick Meehan

GERM 217 Tutor: “Now, I want you to pretend you’re on holiday and you’re writing a postcard back to your friend or whatever in Germany. If you’ve never been to any of these places, just make shit up.”

Jepha Krieg

Student: “...I know you wouldn’t go around kidnapping people.”

Lecturer: “I wouldn’t make that assumption about me.”

Bayley Roylance

Overheard in the library: “Is manslaughter, like, when you kill someone and you don’t mean to?”

Kimaya McIntosh

Girlfriend: “You know, girls find it so romantic when you give them shiny things.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I could wrap it in tinfoil...”

Cory Knights

PHIL 104 Lecturer: “If I brought Gandhi in, he might be a good person, but he can’t slam dunk.”

Angus Chapman

English tutor: “How was your substitute tutor?”

Student: “He didn’t bring tea. There was nearly a riot.”

Meg Brosnan PSYC 121 Lecturer: “A Durex survey shows that young New Zealanders are very sexually active.”

Student: “Whooo!”

Lecturer: “A woman after my own heart!”

Kelly Cassiel

Caitlin Wyllie

salient.org.nz

Columns

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Salient Vol. 74

Labour’s Eye for Detail Paul Comrie-thomson, that is Despite a lackluster Budget, it appears to still be the Labour Party copping it from the various political commentators. There was plenty of ammunition in the Budget, that perhaps should be referred to as ‘bland’, as opposed to its adopted descriptor, ‘zero’. However, Key’s competence for parliamentary theatrics took the wind out of Labour’s sail who were left simply brandishing and awkwardly pointing at the document, completely drowned out by the roar across the House.

Goff did do significantly better at Labour’s annual congress, finally revealing that perhaps Labour has a little more guts than it has exhibited in the past two-and-a-half years. But again, the fact that the media have been left with more questions than answers about Labour’s proposals have meant that the Goff ’s congress glory has been once again, quickly stripped back.

Labour face a huge challenge leading into this election, constrained by what the New Zealand Herald’s John Armstrong has aptly named, “a fiscal straightjacket.” For the party generally associated with habitual spending, Goff is in a position where he needs constantly reiterate that a Labour Government will not push the country further into debt. Fiscal neutrality was thus central to the big policy announcements of the congress.

First and foremost, Goff has announced Labour intend to reintroduce the tax credit for research and development (R&D) spending, that National scrapped after gaining power in 2008.

It is slightly less, than the Clark Government’s 15% tax credit, at 12.5%—a sign of the times— but has been roundly welcomed by the business community as more beneficial than the scheme currently in place under National.

The tax credit doesn’t come cheap though, and the farming community will have to pick up the $800 million price tag. Perfectly timed with the criticism directed at farmers for being evasive on tax, Goff has announced that Labour will introduce the Emissions Trading Scheme (ETS) on the agricultural sector from 2013, two years earlier than planned, which he says will ensure farmers are paying their “fair share”.

To be sure, as traditionally National voters, farmers are an easy target. This will certainly be one of the easier trade-offs Goff will advocate this year. But, it is a sound plan, and reflects a longer-term perspective on developing growth than can be found Bill English’s latest Budget.

Moreover, Goff has managed to cleverly play the environmental card simultaneously.

Key still got his sound bite though, claiming that Labour’s plan would see increases in the price of the “staples of the New Zealand diet”. Goff has made good strides at refuting this, backed by advice from Fonterra Chief Executive Andrew Ferrier, who assures that international markets set prices for dairy. However, as Andrea Vance argues, the policy is far from clear at this point.

“Will the tax credits extend to foreign companies?

How is Labour planning to cap them? What will the carbon price be for the ETS proposals?”

Also killing two birds was Annette King’s proposal of a Children’s Ministry at a cost of $4.5 million, to be paid for by scrapping (Labour’s) Families Commission saving $7 million. King has not only jumped headfirst into the debate around NZ’s distressing child health and safety record, but has simultaneously freed up cash for other areas of spending. Of course, whether what children need is more bureaucracy is another question entirely.

Goff ’s other big policy announcement at the congress was the introduction of a $15 minimum wage. Of course, an increase in the minimum wage hits employers rather than the Government, so is an easy promise for Goff. However, as Key was quick to point out, it creates the potential for job losses, which the Department of Labour predicts could be approximately 6000 at a $15 minimum wage. Whether this is true is debatable, and certainly it’s a solid line for Labour to follow in an election that should be fought on the cost of living.

Labour isn’t expected to release it’s full fiscal framework for at least a month yet, and only time will tell whether their alternatives are truly viable. More will have to be done around comprehensive details however, if the opposition really want to get any momentum behind them.

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Surviving the bite of will be

the Zombie Brendon Mackenzie

Being able to write about beer is a privileged existence. I never get tired of being invited to advanced tastings and product launch nights. I was quietly chuffed when two of these events collided on the same night.

Regional Wines and Spirits beer guru, Kieran Haslett-Moore, had received a number of new samples from Joseph Wood of Liberty Brewing*. He planned to share these with a number of beer writers and Wellington based beer cognoscenti before heading along to the launch of Epic Brewing’s Hop Zombie. I was forewarned—this was going to be a night of Imperial beers**.

My favourite beer from Liberty Brewing was Darkest Day Stout. With an enticing drinking chocolate and spiciness on the nose and a bitter dark chocolate finish in the mouth, it has more in common with Porter than the out-and-out roastiness of a Stout. Weighing in at about 6.0% alcohol, it had the lowest alcohol of the Liberty beers. The good news is that we are likely to see more of these fine ales in the coming month including Darkest Day on tap at Hashigo Zake .

It was with a slight cheeriness that a bunch of us moseyed to Malthouse for the launch on Epic Brewing’s Hop Zombie. The Malthouse was buzzing with the latest release from Luke Nicholas and Kelly Ryan. Ostensibly this 8.5% beer is a Double India Pale Ale but you could be easily fooled into thinking you are quaffing an extremely hoppy Pilsener given the smooth drinkability. The Zombie has lashings of American and New Zealand hops giving it a pronounced nectarine and juicyfruit gum quality to add to the citrus and pine resin in the mouth. It is dangerously addictive. Look out for it in 500 ml bottles at good beer stockists.

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* Full disclosure: I was a part owner of Liberty Brewing with Stu McKinlay (who is now a Yeastie Boy) many years ago. Stu and I sold Liberty Brewing to Joseph about 2 years ago. ** When it comes to beer, the term “Imperial” implies a beer that is stronger in alcohol than normally expected for the style.

Early Retirement Kate Pike Welcome to the final column of Kate follows Celia. Final because I’m leaving the country, and it just doesn’t feel right to write about Celia when I’m not around to follow her.

My idealism of politics has, over the course of a few short years, largely disappeared. I recall revelling in the beauty of democracy. It was about citizens together voting who they wanted to represent them in government, those elected acting in the interests of the citizens, both over the short and long term, decisions being made collectively.

Differences were everywhere, yet were advantageous in solving problems.

I was ignoring the truth. Politics is just a mean game on the playground, with little regard of the citizens (with the exception of election years, when things reach a new level of ridiculous). This is true for both national and local politics. I have occasionally sat in on WCC Strategy and Policy Committee meetings. They call each other names, mutter insults, openly insult ideas and people. They appeared to have no respect for each other, let alone the citizens.

I’ve discovered you can delude yourself into thinking that politics is

relevant because it impacts the world in a way that nothing else can. But this doesn’t mean it warrants my time. It’s the system, they are the system, we are that same system. In fighting the system we’re only fighting ourselves.

Does writing a submission to the council about their draft annual plan make any difference? Occasionally yes, but most of the time, they’ve already made up their minds. ‘Consultation’ and ‘public discussion’ doesn’t mean anything. Neither of those terms legally oblige councillors to take the public’s voice into consideration.

While theoretically you can’t enter into consultation having already made up your mind, in practice this is how it’s done. Consultation is the biggest pile of tokenism rubbish I’ve ever seen. Why spend all this money on consulting the public when they don’t take any of it into consideration? Fund our libraries, take away our recycling, provide us all with decent public transport, get us some city planning. Don’t spend money on shit like the Rugby World Cup and ridiculous toilets.

To clarify, my beef is not with Celia.

Celia, long after her election, continues to do what she believes in, and that is why people voted for her. She leads the city not in the way that her predecessors did, but in a way that is progressive and real. Celia is criticised in the media, and she tackles it perfectly: with disregard and humour. She carries her head high because she earned her place as Mayor of Wellington, and she deserves it. I am proud to be represented by a leader who runs the city with such grace, passion, determination, respect, and power.

My beef is with the system, and I think Celia’s doing a truly wonderful job in there.

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Sagwala Hayley Adams

I am not a vegetarian but don’t eat meat every day of the week either and I realised I have neglected to provide any recipes for meat eaters.

I am very partial to a delicious Indian curry, but so often they are full of cream and not so light on the tummy. For this reason, I have always been a fan of sagwala which is made with a spinach based sauce. I have made this recipe twice, once in the slow cooker which made the beef deliciously tender but the sauce was quite thin and runny. I later made it on the stove top, the beef wasn’t quite so good but the sauce was spot on. Remember though, this recipe is certainly not for everyone, the colour sends some people running.

Easy Sagwala

• 500g spinach (this is a rough measurement, a big bunch the size you buy at the market will do fine) • 500g of beef/lamb/chicken (I swap half the meat out for mushrooms and potato which are a great replacement, you could make this with no meat at all if you like, swapping in veges and/or tofu) • 5 green chillies (I am a hot head and love spicy food, if you aren’t that way inclined, don’t hesitate to leave them out) • 2 bay leaves • 8 cardamom pods or 1 ½ tsp ground cardamom • 1 stick of cinnamon or 1 tsp ground cinnamon • 4 cloves • 1 tsp cumin • 3 onions, peeled and diced • 2 tsp minced garlic • 1 tbsp ginger • 1 tsp red chilli powder (same goes) • Salt and pepper to taste

Wash spinach, bring a pot of salted water to the boil and cook spinach in it for 2 minutes. Drain the spinach and blend with chillies. Heat a large saucepan and add oil, fry off bay leaves, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, cumin, onions, garlic, ginger and chilli powder for about 5 minutes until onions soften and it smells fragrant.

Add meat and/or vegetables, the spinach mixture and 3 cups of water if using beef/lamb and 1 ½ cups of water if using vege/chicken. If using beef or lamb, bring to the boil and simmer on a low heat for 1 ½, to 2 hours, if not, simmer until veges soften and sauce thickens. Serve with rice.

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Feature

Issue 12 Offline

NZPA RIP Elle Hunt

On 6 April, an article entitled ‘News Agency Under Review’ was published on Stuff.co.nz. It simply stated that Fairfax Media had decided to withdraw its share in the country’s principal domestic newswire, the New Zealand Press Association.

According to this article, the decision to cancel Fairfax’s subscription was a straightforward one. Chief executive Allen Williams explained that the company had “made a choice to concentrate on development of its unique content” because a tailored service was not forthcoming.

So far, so sensible—but what the article understated was that Fairfax held a majority share of NZPA, and without its support the organisation would be forced to close. NZPA wasn’t so much “under review” as abandoned without funding or resources. Sure enough, it was later announced that its operations were to be wound up over the next four to six months. David Farrar of Kiwiblog was not exaggerating when he titled his blogpost on the decision ‘Fairfax kills NZPA’.

Moreover, Fairfax would have us believe that NZPA was gone to a better place, rather than hit on the head with a shovel.

Williams even insinuated that the move would benefit all providers and consumers of news in New Zealand, but few agreed with him. As freelance writer Karl du Fresne wrote after the announcement: “Try as I might, I can’t see this as anything other than a seriously retrograde step.”

‘News agency under review’ embodied the kind of ‘churnalism’ that NZPA, as a reliable and prolific source of raw news, worked against. The irony of this was not lost on media commentators: as Farrar noted, the article read “like a Fairfax advertorial”, and gave no comment from outside that organisation. Even the 40-odd journalists that work for NZPA were not permitted to cover the decision that justified their redundancies.

Why did Fairfax decide to withdraw from the association?

The truth is, the closure of NZPA will only benefit Fairfax— which already dominates New Zealand media. It publishes 79 newspapers, including The Dominion Post, The Sunday Star-Times, The Press and six regional dailies, as well as 25 magazines and Stuff.co.nz. According to a Nielsen National Readership Survey, Fairfax reaches 2.9 million New Zealanders across its multimedia platforms.

Put simply, Fairfax is a force to be reckoned with. Its closest rival is APN News & Media, publisher of The New Zealand Herald and second major shareholder of NZPA, which holds sway only in Auckland. Fairfax’s extensive portfolio of regional dailies and community papers means its influence extends far further across the country.

Media analyst and former New Zealand Herald editorin-chief Gavin Ellis says Fairfax forced the closure of NZPA to further increase its advantage over APN. “[Fairfax] believed its better geographic distribution of publications would give it an advantage over APN,” he says.

“This is all about competition.”

Alan Samson, a lecturer in journalism at Massey University, says Fairfax has spent several years “steadily building up what is effectively its own group news agency”. This means that instead of subscribing for non-exclusive content from NZPA, the company will develop its own stories, which APN’s publications will not have access to.

“If you see the world in financial terms, it was good sense to Fairfax to pull the plug,” says Samson, “even if it brought the news agency crashing down.”

When was the decision made to close NZPA? Though the official closure of NZPA was announced just last month, Samson maintains “there’s been an air of inevitability to Fairfax’s withdrawal” ever since the association became a commercial service in 2006.

Before then, NZPA had acted as a nationwide co-operative, where member newspapers had exchanged their local content for free. du Fresne said this arrangement helped bring the nation together: “New Zealanders had ready access to news and information from beyond their own regions... creating a sense of national cohesion in place of the narrow, regional parochialism that previously prevailed.”

The commercial shift came about in the early 2000s when New Zealand’s two major newspaper publishers came under the control of Australian companies, Fairfax and APN. In his excellent master’s degree thesis on the demutualisation of NZPA, Ellis pointed out that the executives in charge of Fairfax and APN in New Zealand “saw the game in zero-sum terms, and the consequences for a cooperative-based NZPA were almost terminal”.

The aggressive rivals were unwilling to share content with each other as part of NZPA. In fact, when APN launched The Herald on Sunday to compete with Fairfax’s Sunday Star-Times and Sunday News in January 2006, Fairfax threatened to withdraw from the service altogether.

NZPA was forced to restructure to overcome this threat to its existence. It abandoned the cooperative model in favour of becoming a commercial service responsible for the gathering and production of its own news. These reports were then provided to subscriber newspapers, who paid an annual fee based on their readership figures.

The reaction of many papers has been to go the entertainment route, eliciting scorn from numerous commentators “It was a pale shadow of the old service, but at least the restructuring bought a stay of execution,” wrote du Fresne.

“And in hindsight, that’s exactly what it was—because as radical as the 2006 upheaval was, it probably succeeded only in postponing the inevitable.”

Samson states that, despite the changes made in the restructure, “no-one in the know was surprised by [NZPA’s] failure to make enough money to survive when Fairfax chose to quit the fold.

“In a competitive world, Fairfax’s actions were, from their own perspective, financially (and possibly strategically) sensible.”

What role did NZPA play in the national media sphere?

Even demutualised, NZPA provided an important service, distributing stories of national and international relevance to newspapers nationwide. This served to somewhat lessen the impact of the duopoly of Fairfax and APN, ensuring that both companies had access to the same no-frills reportage to offset the flashier stories written in-house.

“NZPA was an honourable [news media] voice, not tainted with the universal pressure to be sexy and... make lots of money,” says Samson.

NZPA editor Kevin Norquay says NZPA’s services enhanced those offered by Fairfax and APN, rather than competed with them: “Its closure will mean those organisations will have to replicate some of the services NZPA provided.”

The association’s strength was in “providing fast, accurate copy” without a political agenda, says Newspaper Publishers’ Association chief executive and former Dominion Post editor Tim Pankhurst.

As Ellis puts it, NZPA “provided an independent source of news and a third news filter” that complemented those of Fairfax and APN—and in such a duopoly, the loss of a ‘third filter’ must have repercussions.

How will its closure affect New Zealand’s news industry?

Regional newspapers are expected to feel the loss of NZPA the most, as many relied on the association for content.

“Each of those newspapers will have to make arrangements with APN and Fairfax to fill their pages,” says Norquay. “Some have already indicated they will cut when and how often they publish as a result of the newswire closing.”

Ellis believes this to be a great loss.

“NZPA was the means by which newspaper readers learned about happenings in other parts of the country,” he says. “In

9

this way, [it] helped to contribute to the sustaining of a national identity and a broader understanding of the needs of each community.”

As du Fresne put it, as a cooperative, NZPA “provided the means by which readers in Whangarei and Timaru could be informed of a murder trial in Invercargill or a plane crash in the King Country.”

Now, says Samson, “the ground will be covered much more thinly. Even a relative giant like The Dominion Post will only have a few reporters in Auckland.”

The loss of NZPA’s Parliamentary service is also predicted to affect political coverage.

Norquay points out that NZPA’s reporters “scrutinised the passage of legislation... and the roles of MPs in the law-making process, listening to every minute of every debate”. He doubts that politicians will be held so accountable in future.

Ellis says NZPA retained much of the ‘agency of record’ approach to political reporting that large areas of the news media have sacrificed in favour of covering personality politics. “[NZPA] was also often the only means by which news outlets in the smaller population centres learned about political events that related to their own communities,” he adds.

For these reasons, Samson expects the lack of a national newswire to result in an even greater homogenisation of news.“Today, except online, there is almost no escape from the duopoly [of Fairfax and APN],” he says. “The loss of any honourable news media voice is a loss for democracy.”

Who will be most affected by the closure of NZPA? The closure of NZPA will also affect the career paths of aspiring journalists, for, as Ellis points out, it has been their “primary training ground”.

Norquay says NZPA regularly provided tertiary and secondary students with work experience, and often employed first-year graduates.

“As a workplace, NZPA’s concentration on national news stories means its journalists—even the less experienced ones— dealt with news at the highest level, interviewing politicians, the All Blacks coach and heads of industry, which would never be the case on a regional or community newspaper,” he says.

“Its double-edged focus on speed and accuracy acted as a kind of pressure cooker for young journalists, with both attributes very much valued throughout the industry.”

“Agency journalists are highly prized because of their ability to quickly summarise often complex or wordy or dull subjects and turn them into copy of interest to readers,” agrees Pankhurst. “Sadly, NZPA’s closure does mean an important avenue for junior journalists is closed off. We have had some great young reporters through here and did our best to encourage them.”

Pankhurst is quick to point out that “there are some positives” for the current staff of NZPA who face redundancy.

“A number of our journalists are considering job offers...

APN is expanding its national footprint in alliance with the independents... and Fairfax has advertised for staff as well.”

However, Samson doubts that this will offset the loss of “one more significant employer of journalists.

“The two big newspaper owners might argue they’re taking up the slack, but it would be a brave man or woman to predict their employment levels will continue on an upward trend,” he says.

Where to from here for national news?

Even though most agree that the loss of NZPA will affect New Zealand’s news industry, it seems unlikely that another newswire will be established to take its place. Even if, as Ellis suggests, Radio New Zealand decided to offer a state-owned service, it would be “unlikely to be highly successful” without the support of Fairfax or APN. In any case, as Samson points out, “the big papers can still afford to pay for the services of international agencies like Reuters and Australian Associated Press—The Westport News cannot!”

Having said that, as Samson points out, all news media are “facing huge resource pressures”.

“The reaction of many papers has been to go the entertainment route, eliciting scorn from numerous commentators,” he says. “I can live with this as a reality as long as these papers and television channels still function by fourth estate ideals and have the courage to report the big news and fractures in our society.

“And so far, [Fairfax and APN] have not let us down.

Witness the Louise Nicholas reporting. Or even the reporting of Parliamentary misspending.”

What Samson is suggesting is that, even with NZPA gone, we can count on Fairfax and APN to report on the issues that matter. But when two companies dominate the media landscape, we should be concerned when the third—no matter how small or superfluous—is lost. Now that the nail is in NZPA’s coffin, the country’s newspaper industry will become even more of a two-player game, and this is bound to have implications for the standard and breadth of news we consume.

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salient.org.nz

Feature

10

Salient Vol. 74

EVOLUTION EVOLUTIONOF OF

Selina Powell

a farrago of filth, facts and falsity

Salient was founded in 1938 to serve as an ‘organ of student opinion’ for the students of Victoria University. Since then, it’s gone through some radical changes—just as its readers have done—but some things remain the same. Feature writer Selina Powell tracks the progress of the magazine you now hold in your hands.

In 1938, Germany invaded Austria, American leaders condemned Nazi persecutions and Winston Churchill spoke of the tragic necessity of war. Evel Knievel was born and the first

Superman comic was released. Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds aired for the first time, leading to mass panic for those who treated the fictional radio broadcast as an actual announcement of an extraterrestrial invasion. In Australia, 300 people were rescued at Bondi Beach after being swept out to sea by a series of freak waves.

1930s

Across the Tasman, in the same year that the ballpoint pen was released, the first issue of Salient was published. Increasing international tension and the prospect of war had led the Students’ Association to envision a publication which would “link university life more closely with that of the outside world on the assumption that if war ever did begin, which seemed likely to occur, it would at least be an advantage to have a few clues of what it was about.”

appetising and substantial meal guaranteed to keep the wolf

from the door”. Readers were encouraged to attend in order to “get to know members of the opposite sex in an informal and

friendly atmosphere (as recommended by the Ladies’ Home Journal).”

While Salient aimed to keep students informed, entertainment was also an important part of its function. Student events, such as the Freshers’ Welcome described in the April 1938 edition, provided relief from the stress of war time: “There was sound of revelry

“love blooms in test tubes in accordance with mathematical

Later in the same month, following the 1930s version of Uni Games, a plea for the return of a “curious anglo-saxon drinking horn” was issued, with speculation that the item was “in the possession of Auckland University College”.

In New Zealand, the 1950s was also an era of concern about growing immorality among young people. A series of teenage sex scandals led the Government to instigate an inquiry into ‘Moral Delinquency in Children and Adolescents’. Johnny Devlin, a popular rock-and-roll artist of the time, was labelled by critics as the ‘Satin Satan’.

by night. It was Freshers’ Welcome. Wellington’s capital had gathered then, her beauty and her chivalry, and bright lamps shone o’er fair men and brave women.”

1940s In June 1940, the same month that Germany invaded the Soviet Union, Italy declared war on France and Britain, and France surrendered to Germany, the sole image on Salient’s front cover were the stencilled letters, ‘I Object’.

Back then, Salient announced engagements, reporting that

formulae” after a match between two science graduates.

Salient was not too peachy clean either. The publication was described as “a farrago of filth, facts and falsity” by Justice Owen. This quotation was used to advertise the magazine in 1954, along with the motto ‘The People’s Vice’.

Complaints were voiced in 1955 about the protracted length of campus development. In a similar vein to current criticism of the Campus Hub project, one student observed, “the much talked of

Salient reflected in a philosophic moment in 1943: “Many students

Student Union Building is obviously a thing of the far distant future.”

devote these columns to the solution of some of those problems which do so much to darken those years which should be the happiest of our lives.”

Talented young writer James K Baxter published a short story and a poem in the 1955 literary edition of Salient. In Salient’s 1957 tribute to New Zealand literary great, A.R.D. Fairburn, Baxter described Fairburn as “a liberating force, a writer from whom one learns courage”.

to-day find University life in war time has problems of an exceedingly difficult nature. Accordingly, Salient has decided to

The same issue of Salient volunteered to publish extracts from letters of former Victoria students who were currently enlisted in the armed forces in an effort to keep concerned friends and classmates informed.

Salient’s enduring love of puns can be seen in a 1943 article entitled ‘Flighty!’, which described the revelations of a public lecture entitled Flight in Birds and Man. “Dr. Richardson pointed out that as long as men tried to imitate

birds they would not succeed in flying. Only when an American engineer sold himself the idea of constructing machines like bridges were the first successes achieved.”

In 1947, Salient discussed the Philosophy of Doubt, explaining “why more doubt must be the slogan of a University... time and time again, unanimous opinions of the ablest men have been shattered by new evidence”. This sentiment seems to foreshadow Victoria’s long-running ‘It Makes You Think’ campaign, which focused on learning as a skill rather than the acquisition of accepted facts.

A concerned correspondent in 1948 highlighted a perceived thorn in the side of Salient readers: “Sir, when I came to Varsity as a Fresher this year, I thought I was coming to an Institution of higher learning and culture, but what do I find? Quantity of beer, quality of beer, reminiscences of beer and prospects of beer pervade every student activity.”

In the same year that Mao Zedong declared China a People’s Republic and the Soviet Union first tested an atomic bomb, a letter to Salient questioned the fear that surrounded communism: “Dear Sir, is it useful, in these red-baiting days, to ask ourselves

what constitutes a Red?... And if it is Red to fight for a better life for young people, then to be called Red is an honour second

to none.”

1950s

In the 1950s, men returned from war and women were expected to go back to their kitchens wearing A-line dresses, gloves and high heels. Salient described Vic’s hosting Tea Dances, where students were provided with a venue for dancing and “a generous,

Salient reported that a 1956 debate on the morality of birth control drew the largest crowd of the year. However, it was clear that revolution was not quite upon the University with the leading speaker for the negating team arguing that if women were not busy having children, they would become childish themselves.

In the 1950s New Zealanders feared communists as one might fear the sudden appearance of handpuppets. An article published in Salient in 1957, ‘Communism in the College,’ suggested that lecture theatres were not immune to the Cold War climate: “Legend has it that one of our revered professors is leaning so far to the left that he has taken to wearing two left shoes while playing tennis”.

Writing in 1957, a Salient reader channelled Mark Twain’s observation that there is nothing sadder than a young pessimist: “Why don’t you get a few of the starry-eyed variety of

students to review films and plays? The cynical adolescent prose rubs a bit thin.”

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Issue 12 Offline

1960s

The 1960s were characterised by a growth in protest movements, both in New Zealand and overseas. In 1960, a total of 150,000 New Zealanders signed a petition to prevent an all-white All Blacks team from touring apartheid South Africa. This decade also saw protests against New Zealand’s involvement in the Vietnam War and the beginning of French nuclear testing in the Pacific.

However, Salient and the student population were not immune from occasional apathy. In April of 1960, a reader complained: “Salient is not doing its job. Why don´t you attack something?... Look at the daily newspapers; follow their example. See how courageously they attack things—jitterbugs, dogs, Russia, the weather, Russia. No Sir, no Pulitzer prize for you. Your magazine doesn’t expose anything.”

In its report of the 1961 debate ‘Should Castro be Castrated?’, Salient observed: “Most students did not seem to care. Mr Max Riske, the adjudicator for the Debating Society’s last debate, summed the evening up as ¨the worst debate I have ever heard”. ”

one protestor reads “I am a Palestinian Arab, I was born in

Jerusalem, Palestine is my homeland, but I cannot return there”.

The other: “I am an American Jew. I was born in the USA.

Israel is not my homeland, but I can ‘return’ there”.

1980s A voice other than that of the middle-class white male grew stronger in Salient during the 1980s and 1990s. Feminist and Maori editions of Salient were published for the first time, and column space was devoted to issues affecting the gay and lesbian community. Salient published an article in 1980 condemning sexist language, accompanied by a useful list of terms classified as unacceptable (mankind, the best man for the job, cameraman) and acceptable (humanity or people, the best

person for the job, camera operator).

A 1987 Salient article published favourite bathroom graffiti, including such gems as “My IUD picks up Radio Active/My IUD is Radio Active”, “Just relax: in 60 years it will all be over” and “the Vice-Chancellor is probably not really God”.

Editor of Salient 1963, Geoffrey Palmer, who went on to become Prime Minister and known as ‘Sir Geoffrey’, introduced a ‘Girl of the Week’ page to the magazine and criticised the ‘new woman’ of Victoria University.

An anonymous contribution to Salient in 1968 entitled ‘Junk is a Way of Life’, described the emerging drug culture as “a scene of light and colour, a scene of beauty and contentment, a scene of horror and danger”. Amid the ’60s drug jargon of the article lies the central conviction that “this newfound land, no less

than America 400 years ago, is going to change things, is going to alter the attitudes of many people and is going to become the symbol as well as the means for a new outlook.”

1970s

The second edition of Salient in 1971 proudly notes its approval by the Anarchist Conspiracy. It contains tips on getting stoned with annotated diagrams, and contends that “the only way

to change a law is for a large proportion of the population to break it. Remember there was a time when you could get

hung for a loaf of bread, that law evolves to meet the needs of society, and that grass is not only a moral issue but a political one.”

In 1975 Salient reviewed Poets to the People, a collection of South African freedom poems. Excerpts from poems are seen to illustrate the need for an assertive stance against

oppression as well as the desire for gentle human contact and peace: Let’s have poems blood-red in colour ringing like damn bells - Oswals R Mtshali I don’t want fists and paws I want To be touched again and to touch, - Hugh Lewin An interview with Israel Shanak, the chairman of the

Israeli League for Human and Civil Rights, published in a 1975 edition of Salient is accompanied by a photo of two protestors standing beside each other. The placard of

1990s With the introduction of the Tertiary Students’ Association Voluntary Membership Bill in 1994, Salient ran an article entitled ‘Freedom’s Just Another Word for Everything Left to Lose’ that adamantly opposed the legislation. In 1996 the bill was thrown out of Parliament, with Michael Laws, in Hone-esque fashion, failing to appear for the second reading of legislation that he had introduced to the House.

In 1996, Salient investigated the phenomena of students marrying to become eligible for the student allowance. The article claimed that Michael Gibbs, then-VUWSA President and student representative matchmaker, helped to connect students without qualms about marrying for money.

Advertisements for financial rather than soul-affirming nuptials were placed on community boards and published in the Notices section of Salient: “Poor student needs wife

(confidentiality assured).”

Salient Today From such noble beginnings, Salient has had a long and eventful journey through the 20th century. Salient is now significantly older but no wiser

This retrospective began with an account of global events not to elevate the status of Salient, but to place it in its context. The fledgling ambition of Salient’s founders was to publish a magazine that would provide a source of information and opinion that transcended University walls and instilled an awareness of forces greater than the both the individual and the student body as a whole.

From such noble beginnings, Salient has had a long and eventful journey through the 20th century.

Salient is now significantly older but no wiser.

The opinions and content of this magazine will undoubtedly become as cringeworthy and quaint as those released in past issues. But perhaps it is not what is said or how it is said that matters.

Perhaps it is the voice that Salient provides, as an ‘organ of student opinion’, that is its most important function.

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salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Feature

12

opinion

life without

too good to be true Jono McLeod

It is seldom in this day and age that you meet someone who does not have Facebook. Even old people are into it now.

But here I am, living and breathing on this page.

I exist outside the world of the social networking phenomenon. There’s not many of us here. Most would assume it’s a dark place, void of communication and happiness. They would be wrong. In fact there is a peace here, a stillness that permeates this world where constant, meaningless status updates do not exist. That is a world that thrived not long ago, but it gets smaller and smaller with every day that passes, and one day it will not exist anymore. That will be a mournful day, but just like death, taxes and student debt, it is inevitable.

Facebook has permeated every facet of life.

Whether it is sharing photos, inviting people to a party, playing games to avoid work or telling people what you had for lunch, Some human there is no doubt that it has beings cannot infiltrated our existence to the point where some human even function beings cannot even function properly properly without their daily Facebook fix. What a miserable with-out state of affairs things have their daily become. While people picket G8 Facebook fix meetings about world hunger and global warming, I say that we must fix things at home before we can consider these problems. How can we be worried about these issues while a much more serious one exists just nine feet away on our computer screens?

Life was much better without Facebook, it was a simpler time. For one thing, you did not have to wait in line at the library to print a forty per cent essay while nigh on one hundred per cent of the students on computers check out the latest embarrassing photos of themselves to be posted on someone’s wall. This has to be the most frustrating thing in the history of the universe. It makes you want to put someone’s head through that computer screen, even if that means you wouldn’t be able to print your essay due to there being no more working monitors. It would be worth it. Wouldn’t waiting for a computer be much less stressful without Facebook?

Furthermore I believe that Facebook will mark the end of meaningful relationships. One of the main positive features of the site that is continually pressed upon me is that it allows people to stay in contact with friends and family who may be overseas or hard to keep in touch with otherwise, in an easy and convenient way. To some extent I accept this, but this is a double-edged sword. My retort to this is that it also helps you keep in touch with people you wouldn’t bother with otherwise. I often hear users complain that someone from their high-school that they never bothered to talk to in five years, despite the fact they sat opposite them in Science, has added them on Facebook. However, they often accept this request of ‘friendship’ and now share their banal life with them via online mass communication.

Every Facebook ‘friend’ is therefore situated equally

within someone’s life even though you could not care less about some of those people. Facebook is in the business of devaluing friendships as every Tom, Dick and Harry from people’s past is part of their online community of ‘friends’. The ease of communication that Facebook provides creates meaningless relationships, which in turn devalues the sanctity of your meaningful friendships which previously held a more appropriate status.

The most important reason that I do not subscribe to Facebook though, is because of the deep disdain I hold within myself for status updates.

The fact that People use these to tell others how they are feeling, what they are doing, you think and myriad other insignificant pieces anybody of drivel. Some have told me that they gives a fuck do not read or use status updates and about your rather use Facebook for photos etc.

But to those who do, your arrogance boring life is simply mind- disgusts me. The fact that you think anybody gives a fuck about your blowing boring life is simply mind-blowing. I know you would like to think people care, but they don’t. And if they do, well then they are just as arrogant and brain-dead as you. The world does not care one bit that you are stressed about assignments or about your life as a hipster. So do everyone a favour and keep that mind-numbing bullshit to yourself.

Nobody can tell me that life is better with Facebook. I much prefer a world where computers are available, being someone’s friend actually means something and annoying individual comments can only be dispersed as far as people can yell. I am not under any illusions that Facebook’s popularity will wane, I can only hope that maybe it’s a fad like boy-bands were in the 90s or spandex was in the 80s and one day everyone will realise their stupidity. Just think about all the time you wouldn’t waste cultivating someone’s cyberspace farm and the embarrassment you would save yourself when certain people witness inappropriate photos or comments that you may or may not have posted yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice?

oh, whatweb a tangled we weave Ben Fagan Two weeks ago, on Facebook, Salient laid down the challenge of a ‘no technology’ weekend — specifically, zero interaction with social media, digital and cellular technology from Friday noon until Sunday midnight. I jumped at this challenge, figuring that with a few planned activities I could avoid losing my mind from boredom and sail through the weekend as a flip-off to Billy G. and Mark Z. Friday 1200 rolled around and I had managed to put off planning until it was too late—good start. New plan: I thought I’d try spending the afternoon ‘pottering around the house’ like my grandparents’ generation seemed to be so good at. Unfortunately, without modern tech, I really struggled to waste time. I’m generally so absorbed with my online world that I didn’t have any knitting, or other offline projects, that I could waste away some time with.

It seems I’ve lost the art of old-fashioned lollygagging.

hours, life seemed to have slowed down a lot.

No wonder older generations had time for a war: I had time to vacuum and cut my nails.

1300: Everything I can think of doing is productive. I don’t want to be productive, it’s almost the weekend, for goodness’ sake.

1200: I realised I was probably going to want to know the time when I’m out and about. Stupid cellphone, being so useful— did I even have a watch? I could barely remember where all my friends lived, so visiting was off the table. I had to think about what people did in ye olde times.

They went exploring, right? Seemed like this was as good a time as any to explore my neighbourhood botanical gardens. I’m a regular Captain Cook, I know, please hold your applause.

1322: I just made my bed. My mother is celebrating. Mark Zuckerberg is crying.

1528: Dusted my room. Holy crap. Is it ironic that the more I withdraw from my online world, the cleaner and tidier my real world becomes? I would Google ‘irony’ to make sure but, you know… After a couple of

Saturday: Big sleep-in, with no cellphone alarm, no txts—it was kind of relaxing. I realised dreaming is sort of like YouTube: lots of disjointed clips that don’t make sense; before you know it, five hours have gone by.

1102: I wondered what’s happening on Twitter at the moment. My flatmate walks past and announces he’s having some toast. I feel a bit better.

No wonder older generations had time for a war: I had time to vacuum and cut my nails 1243: I felt really isolated amongst the trees in the Botans; I didn’t even have the pretend comfort of a dead or credit-less phone. I thought I’d got my independence when I moved away from home—turns out that was nothing compared to abandoning communication technology for a while.

1307: Life had definitely slowed down. I’d never have usually taken the time to read all those plaques. It began to rain, so I headed off to a real-life bookstore—just like Grandpa did. It’s a pity that one of the last media to become fully and easily accessible via the Internet is the book; there are a lot of amazing stories that our generation is missing out on in their online haven.

I was browsing the autobiographies, like a boss, when a delightful young lady manning

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the café upstairs in Borders trilled to her co-worker: “Isn’t it so nice when you turn your phone off for a couple of hours, and then you turn it on, and there’s five texts, and you’re like ‘yay’!”

Well said, you popular young thing. I hoped I had five texts waiting for me.

Saturday evening: Texting is too darn convenient. On my way to meet a friend (one thing I had planned in advance), I couldn’t help but worry that they’d cancelled or forgotten. Interestingly, they had assumed I wasn’t coming/that I had forgotten as well.

When you made appointments in the past, without instant communication, I guess you just had to be trustworthy and on time.

Ridiculous.

Sunday, 1300: I spy with my little eye...

1301: Cards, anyone?

1302: New rule: every flat should have at least three board games.

I’d missed sharing so many good Facebook statuses—ones that bemoaned my student lifestyle that my student friends would show empathy for with a ‘Like’ and I would gain some online mana.

The last couple of hours dragged on and on.

I think I did some readings because I wanted to. It really was the end of the world.

Sunday midnight: Not many notifications and only three texts! Damn you café girl— baristas must be hooked on their modern technology.

I wonder what that’s like.

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Feature

Issue 12 Offline

13

Caitlin Attenburrow

n a m t s o P Save the

And as for those annoying types that like to say “lol” instead of just actually laughing...

Once a week, I get a letter from my Dad. It contains a $20 note “as an incentive to open it,” he says. It usually also contains a short note detailing my sister’s latest wrongdoings, his newest flatmate’s peanut trick, or—on a slow week— the cat’s biggest killing spree.

Once a week I reply with a highlighter-covered masterpiece, usually written over the course of several slow management lectures. My letters usually contain intricate diagrams, bits of Post-It notes, and the odd drawing of the randomlyshaped head of the boy in front of me.

You may be thinking “wow, what an advert for the beauty of letters”. The truth is, there are many parent-spawn letter chains like this— they’re just not that exciting. However, let’s take a moment to really think about the joys of a handwritten letter, perhaps with a doodle on the side, a few swirly bits, the odd crossing out. Each letter is unique in a way that an email, text or (God forbid) Facebook post just is not.

When Harry Potter was accepted into Hogwarts did he get an email from dumbledore_magicdude_01@hotmail.com? No. Don’t be stupid.

Ever heard of a love text as opposed to a love letter? The only thing that comes vaguely close is a sext. I guess some would happily receive “I luv u 2 now hury up im hornii”, but it would likely be a slightly different message in the mail—and I suspect they are in the minority.

Another problem with the fading out of letters is the lack of practice we get with writing. We probably spend more time communicating with our friends in text language than in actual English. Sure, it’s handy and quick, but a vocabulary made up of beauties like “nm atm tbh wbu” just isn’t going to cut it in the real world. And as for those annoying types that like to say “lol” instead of just actually laughing...

There are problems with snail mail, though— normally, its taking a week to get the damn thing.

By the time someone replies with the appropriate advice pertaining to your latest romantic drama or essay topic concern, the event may well be over.

Of course, this is not a bad thing where parents are involved, if speaking to your beloved creators once a week is mint compared to having

to phone them every couple of days or, lo and behold, even reply to their emails.

Then there’s the massive expense of stamps: they are now 60c each, though this can be overcome by the old dampen and re-use method for particularly stingy types.

Finally, there’s the irritating exercise factor of actually having to leave the house to put said letter into one of those curious red boxes on the side of the street. No, they are not mini TARDISes. They do serve a purpose.

Maybe this is a sign of changing times. Do letters belong in the days of our grandparents?

We have swapped the village dance for a Saturday night spent at Hope Bros; the floorlength dresses for increasingly shrunken bits of spandex; and the Sunday roasts for Subway or Mi Goreng. But does this mean we should put Postman Pat out of a job, too?

Perhaps not. Perhaps the reason letters are clinging onto the edge of the communication landfill is that they have something special about them. Certainly, I’ve never been genuinely excited to see I have a new post on my Wall in the same way I have to find an unopened letter in the mailbox.

Why is this? What mystical draw can bits of paper possibly hold that cannot be pulled off by a computer or cellphone screen?

Well, it’s the personalisation of the ole letter that really counts. That’s the problem with modern forms of communication these days—there’s no way you can draw a diagram to show exactly you mean by your flatmate’s famed peanut trick. There’s no doodle of a dead goldfish in the margins, or switch from black pen to blue pen when the ink ran out. You can’t ‘attach’ a cheeky $20 of beer money, or highlight the part asking for next week’s in advance because you need to buy your R&V ticket.

So, students of Victoria University, I suggest we pick up our quills. Draw out the parchment. And write. Discover what our handwriting looks like; let vicbooks rip you off with a 60c stamp; and lug your ass up the hill and find that mini-TARDIS by Cotton building or the Kelburn Parade bus stop. Who knows— your custom might be feeding someone’s blackand-white cat.

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salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Feature

14

Whippersnappers Anonymous—

Getting The Old Folk

r u O f O f Of Doc Watson

If there’s any feeling I tend to get from the old fogeys that run our country at the moment, it’s that they have their heads so far up their arses, they can see what they’re having for breakfast.

They ignore some huge problem, make stupid judgement calls, and then assume they are right just because they have had the common physical decency to just not die.

One of the most common misnomers is the good ol’ “back in my day, Sonny Jim” tales that have most people reaching for an extra large barf bag. “The way things were back then were absolutely smashing,” says the man with white fluffy tentacles worming their way out of his brain. “There was so much more freedom back then, it’s such a bad world out there at the moment, you youngsters don’t know nothing,” he says. Well, sir, I take offense to that, and I will promptly put you in a nursing home.

Let’s get something straight here. By looking outside at the oompa loompas that we call our younger generation running around being generally pathetic, some of the things they get away with boggle the mind. It’s almost comical what they can do nowadays that we couldn’t do, and there are so many more opportunities to break away from what is expected and turn into the exact opposite of sheltered children. In short, they’ve got it made. So what happened?

We can begin, very basically speaking, with the stereotypical view of anywhere between 1960 and 1985. That is to say, “smoke this, drink this and wiggle your privates around like this”. The liberalism that occurred back in their time, particularly on New Zealand’s political scale, was something that made the whole world stand up and listen. Our entire country was like Woodstock, but with French spies bombing boats instead of illegal Chinese fireworks. And it didn’t get much better when Muldoon came in and took a proverbial shit all over liberalism when he tried that superannuation train wreck. He might as well as lathered himself in salad dressing and told the hippies to help themselves.

My father was born in 1969, and spent most of his teenage years faffing about in the small town of Hokitika. All of his stories consist of how much dumbfuckery he got away with at the time.

One of his most glorified stories was when he took a forklift from his workplace, drove it with his

He took a forklift from his workplace, drove it with his brother to his principal’s house, lifted his Mini and placed it lengthways between two trees

brother to his principal’s house, lifted his Mini and placed it lengthways between two trees. Without going into expletives, someone was not pleased. And the best part? No consequences, no punishments. “There was real freedom to be you,” he said to me.

And from the looks of things, damn straight there was.

If you want to look at today in that way though (i.e. construction equipment gymnastics), of course the kids are getting more conservative. Hell, if a Justin Bieber clone tried to forklift my car, I’d knock them into next week so hard their skinny jeans would have to catch a connecting flight. Not to mention they’d be charged out the nostrils for it. In that sense, it could be said that we are being observed much more closely as an age bracket than when everything was fan-bloody-tastic. On top of that, we are much more constrained in action than our younger counterpart. Mere communication and interaction suggests that the older generation have a sense of “sit down and shut up” when it comes to dealing with the young’uns.

And in that regard, I honestly don’t blame them, because with what was lost in action, we have regained in reaction. When I say reaction, I say in the sense that we are doing the exact opposite of what we are being told to do. “Don’t drink that whole bottle of tequila,” they say, and it’s like looking at Pandora’s Box. And when all the evils of the world are being chundered into a toilet bowl, the textbook response would be “I told you so.” But I I swear I heard highly doubt that the drinker would necessarily regret him mutter it, per se. Surely, by defying a social command, there “no respect” is a certain amount of pride involved that is garnered through individuality, even if it took a rabbit punch to and grumble incoherently to the noggin to pull it off.

I think that is one of the aspects that make our himself generation both unique and completely blasé. We just want to do our own thing. And I think that’s where Old Man Johnson gets his Zimmer frame in a twist. I walked past a senior citizen on my way home from work, and it was a tight fit between him and a hoard of camera whoring hyenas. I swear I heard him mutter “no respect” and grumble incoherently to himself. Come on, is this really what it’s come down to? In their eyes, are we just hooligans? Well, monochromatically speaking, it would seem so. But I think there’s something more to this feud than just a food fight in a school cafeteria.

The one thing that is increasingly relevant is that this issue is not exclusive to our generation. I can liken it somewhat to the Moses v Egypt deal in the Bible—not exactly a new age manuscript, mind.

Moses stood as a vessel for the younger generation just wanting to get out of a forced cycle of subjugation, while the Pharaoh was more focussed on maintaining what was already there.

Eventually, it reached a head, the rest of the story rolls on, and let’s just say that the Egyptian army had to go with the flow somewhat, ba bum tish. Cool story, bro. But what happened to Moses? He got crabby, grew a hobo beard, started talking to bushes and got really angry over a gold heifer. As you do.

So, even from biblical standards, the cycle seems to be that the elder appears, the elder bitches at the rebel, the battle ensues and the rebel wins, the rebel becomes the elder, repeat. And I’m inclined to believe this theory over mindless senile ramblings in my eardrum. Granted, the midgets can sometimes just be straight up annoying, but we can understand the merits of their individuality, even if we straight up don’t like them for it.

Probably because we’ve been through it ourselves.

The fact that this rule doesn’t apply to the elder, which doesn’t make a lick of sense. Maybe it’s just the nostalgic ones that want everyone to be mature and boring. Which would suck, because how else would you get the drinking in a bathtub stories? In any case, it doesn’t seem to be something we can just answer. If the logic is sound, then it would stand to reason the old people would have nothing to complain about. Maybe some things just are. And, back in the day, it was the same thing. It just was.

It was intrinsic, just like now, and it always has been. We just have to be a little more understanding when we become the elder, so it doesn’t turn out so bad for the next batch.

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US

Feature

Issue 12 Offline

15

How the modern world is

P o i s o n i n g Zoe Reid

It is really hard to consider how the modern world is poisoning us without sounding, at least to some, overly pretentious and judgmental.

There is an implication in the use of ‘modern world’, implying that the world once poisoned us less than it does now, or that everything was somehow more natural one hundred years ago. So let’s clear the air and accept that we all poison ourselves and each other, somehow, regardless of the time period we live in. We may poison the world more, but humans have been doing their thing and destroying themselves for centuries, apparently with fewer ill-effects than supposed. (Apologies to any Zeitgeisters who hold faith in the premise that the modern world did spawn unnaturally, that humans now have traits unnatural to humans. Really—I’m sorry that you’ve talked yourself into such a corner. Please open a peer-reviewed journal before opening one’s mouth.)

So how is the Modern World poisoning us, compared to in the past? Well, we’re all a wee bit too comfortable in our lives. We have a range of solutions to each problem and are perhaps not making the most considerate choices. We know that nuking the garden with pesticide will stop weeds from spreading, while they’re likely to grow back if simply pulled out. If there’s a fly in the lounge, we can spray half a can of flyspray and vacuum up the corpse later; swat it with a flyswat; or just leave it. Understandably, the simplest, cheapest and fastest choices are often the ones taken up. Unfortunately, the simplest, cheapest and fastest choices may have longer-term ramifications, and people everywhere have begun cottoning onto the importance of being ‘eco-friendly’ with trademark human snobbery and short-sightedness.

Isn’t a move toward being eco-friendly a good thing? Well, yes, but eco-friendliness is about being holistically better for the world, as opposed to improving the world in a few minor ways. Take multi-use coffee takeaway cups, such as KeepCups, which claim to reduce the amount of landfill created by single-use takeaway cups. The KeepCup needs to be used a minimum of 17 times to have a smaller carbon footprint than single-use cups. That’s, say, four weeks of using it nearly every weekday—which is great for those who regularly buy coffee, but for many individuals, I’d hazard a guess that the cup would be used five to ten times before being moved permanently to the back of a cupboard.

Perhaps the more mitigating factor is that most people get takeaway coffees for the convenience factor, and it is more likely one will want to throw away single-use packaging than plan ahead. For those drinking a lot of takeaway coffee, a reusable cup is best, but for those who do not drink much, any takeaway method requiring some kind of manufactured cup is unlikely to be used enough comparative to its effect on the environment.

Eco-friendly products are

only eco-friendly if the way we act is in itself eco-friendly: buying into the hype of a reuseble, but never re-used, object is worse for the environment than the occasional purchase of a single-use product.

Recycling is another example of where the modern world attempts to solve its excess waste by creating further waste. Much of Wellington’s glass is shipped to China for recycling, leaving a hefty carbon footprint in its wake, requiring crude oil for its transportation, and creating chemical waste during processing. Is it better for the environment if we don’t recycle at all? Not really—even if our recycling, right now, comes at a greater cost to the environment than putting everything into landfill, the industry around recycling is constantly changing and getting more efficient. If we don’t recycle, we are not investing in the industry, so neither recycling methods nor our choices are likely to improve.

Recycling, even at an initially higher cost, Most of the time, is highly likely to have better effects on the ‘eco-friendly’ environment over the long term. relates to the Moreover, the biggest impact of our choices affects the people who are impact of the final manufacturing the goods, working in product on the mostly third world conditions. Most of the consumer, not time, ‘eco-friendly’ relates to the impact of the impact on the final product on the consumer, not the those during the impact on those during the manufacturing process. The best, albeit most manufacturing time-consuming method to ensure that process one doesn’t ingest a swarm of unwanted chemicals is to make as much from scratch as possible. No-one will be impacted by manufacturing methods if we have no need for factories that cause a host of medical problems for their workers.

In order to respond to the modern world’s poisoning us, we have to incorporate a wider view of who ‘us’ includes—we have to include people on the manufacturing lines who are unable to make a choice as to the impact of their working conditions on their bodies. Simply refusing to purchase from any company will further worsen factory workers’ situation, as their meagre financial resources will dry up; so will their ability to survive, if we force closure of the only factories they can work in. But simply absolving from purchases will go back to the same issue as with recycling—if we don’t invest in companies who are trying to innovate and improve manufacturing methods, then the manufacturers may not have the funds available to invest in improving manufacturing methods. (Is it even possible to absolve from purchasing any goods?!)

I hesitate to delve deeper into ethical or political discourse, but while our actions seem to reflect our deep-seated moral and political views, they may have little actual effect on how our environment is impacted. Are we, in the modern world, able to make an ethical choice at all, or are we fooling ourselves? Have technology and science developed too fast, with little consideration for wider issues? Have technology and science developed with great consideration for wider issues, but the capitalist pig has no interest outside of its wallet? Is everyone trying as best they can, but are we all just a little too self-involved to make personal sacrifices for the greater good? Everyone has an answer to this, but adequate solutions are few and far between.

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salient.org.nz

16

Salient Vol. 74

Balancing Relationships Sharon Renfro Counsellor

We receive lots of advice on getting over failed relationships and little on preventing breakups.

Constance cravings

n? uestio sex q a t o G to ask Want sly and mou to anony alient? Go r S fo n i m t i e.co see stanc ned 15 n o c k ar as ard-e s, your h s of faceles e t . u e m min less fa pants

A straight and supposedly queerfriendly friend of mine recently told me that if I had only had sex with a girl I was still a virgin. Coz girl-on-girl sex does not really “count”. I’m really insecure and her comment made me feel pretty sad, what do you think about this Constance? love licketty lesbo

Relationships leave us puzzled as we fail to understand relationship process. Relationships demand balance between individuality and togetherness.

Balance begins at birth. Survival requires relationships, but thriving as an individual is essential. We must be in relationships in order to grow as individuals: this balance continues throughout life.

We sense threat about establishing and maintaining a relationship and when we believe that we are losing ourselves Licketty, your friend is flat out wrong. somehow in a relationship. We then react, and emotional process Wrong, but unfortunately a pretty common between these two threats looks like a see saw that can destroy a product of heteronormative sex talk which relationship. The lack of awareness of this process can further the most of us are exposed to. Many of us have been demise and drown us in feeling states that we use as guides to tell told ‘p into v = sex’ all our lives, and it’s pretty us what to do. important that this shit gets corrected.

Feelings represent secondary re-assessments ‘Sex’ should be any consensual sexual for threat or safety. For example, if a relationship encounter you chose to refer to as such. Virginity overwhelms us, we sense threat to our loss is when you have sex for the first time. If individuality. Feelings flood us reinforcing the relationship you feel you lost your virginity, then you sure is somehow a threat to us. We react to that feeling and as fuck did, and your friend has no right to say decrease the importance of the relationship in our lives. As otherwise. Unless she wants you to decide when soon as we sense some kind of relief from the intensity of she did and didn’t have sex. the relationship, we then begin to sense threat about the How would she like it if you decided that possibility of losing the relationship. Feelings flood us again time she let that guy at The Big Kumara stick that push up back toward the his hand in her pants was sex? She probably If a relationship relationship. We are confused, wouldn’t love that if she disagreed with and our confusion confounds overwhelms you. So in that case, she should quit Your friendship others. While we are reacting, being a hypocrite because nobody made us, we sense might benefit our partners are engaged her the sex police—especially not the threat to our from a discussion lesbian sex police. in their own emotionally individuality reactive process. Neither the around how Sex for some people, is vaginal relationship nor the sense of penetration with a penis, sex for others dismissive her Self is reinforced during these emotional reactions. is anal penetration with a strap-on, view of sex is to Another factor complicates our ability to perceive and and sex for others is oral sex, etc. etc. your experiences Conversely, some people feel that interpret emotional process: our families teach us what is threatening and safe. During this process of learning, we certain sexual acts don’t count as sex establish physical body states and are jerked back into these for them. It’s their right to have that opinion, but states when a situation is even remotely similar to a past it’s not their right to push a personal measure of threat. A neuro-researcher/psychologist, Joseph LeDoux, what sex is onto others. states these physical body states are formulated by age four I personally take pretty huge issue with and remain unchanged through adulthood. This means the way female virginity is constructed in we react to our current lives based on four year old logic. most of the world. It’s seen as a gift, a (totally Many times as we are able to gain perspective on what has arbitrary) sign of purity, and the hymen (which happened in our relationships, we find that we have acted some women don’t even have) is held up as much like a four-year-old.

The brain recalls recent events first, keeping original events shielded from recall furthering the illusion we are acting vs. reacting. Everything seems about here and now instead of about original events that set up our reactivity, and we react with illogical intensity. We cannot expect others to understand the importance we place on here and now when we are reacting to the past.

So how can we manage this?

• Be careful about reacting based on feelings • Check your reaction for past influences—does the reaction seem too strong for the circumstances • Know that your partner experiences the same emotional process • Sit down and work to understand the circumstances of each of you • Reflect on what is the best action for you as a person as well as for the relationship

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its measure. Don’t get me wrong, men are often told to wait for the right person and that virginity loss is a big deal, but many women are made to feel like they’re giving something away when they have sex for the first time. If that is how someone feels about their virginity, then again that’s their choice, but it shouldn’t be pushed on everyone.

There’s something really fucking wrong with the world if our girl children are made to feel like their greatest worth is tied up in their ‘purity’.

Virginity loss should never be determined by your friend’s super-traditional sense of what sex is and isn’t. Although she is entitled to hold that view for herself, sex is a pretty darn personal thing, and her preferences, measures and opinions are exactly that. Hers not yours.

On the ‘queer friendly’ thing, I also think your friendship might benefit from a discussion around how dismissive her view of sex is to your experiences. Try talking about how sex is a personal measure, and although she’s entitled to her opinion, she cannot force her measure onto you. It also might be worth discussing how feeling that you’re still a ‘virgin’ in her books, effectively means that she thinks you don’t have sex.

And that view is not very ‘queer friendly’.

What the hell does she think you do when you take a lady home? Hold hands?

Loves, Constance.

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Columns

wi n ter wi n ter bluesblues Issue 12 Offline

17

Surviving the

winter blues

Sweet Bitch: Dame

with Auntie Sharon

Margaret Sparrow

Winter in Wellington can be cruel.There’s something about the mild grey skies combined with the bonecutting southerlies, and the glut of damp, drafty student flats that can make it especially miserable.

It’s easy to fall into the shivery clutches of the winter blues, so here are a few tips to chase ‘em away.

Make a playlist for dancing—resist the urge to listen to mopey guitar music all winter. Jeff Buckley and Bright Eyes will not help you. Jonathan Richman and Sharon Jones might though. Dance to your chirpy playlist whenever you get cold, whenever you feel sorry for yourself, and whenever there is company.

Keep your feet dry—just like when you’re tramping, keeping your feet dry will be key to your survival in Welly. Invest in a lot of socks, change them often.

Hang out with people—you’ll be tempted to hide-out for most of the Winter in bed watching Gilmore Girls/The Wire over and over, but it’s really not good for your mental health. Do stuff with people. Any stuff. Join a club if you have to. Just stop being alone.

My time management skills have been shot to shit.

You can have hot showers for as long as you want and use their hair-dryers without worrying about the power bill

Join the gym—even if you’re not the gym-y type. You can have hot showers for as long as you want and use their hair-dryers without worrying about the power bill, use the sauna to defrost your toes, and yes, occasionally do some exercise, which is also good for the winter spirits.

Find warm places—libraries, friends with flats that have heat-pumps, certain cafes. Go to them. Stay in them.

Ally Garrett

Make hearty winter feeds—Sunday roasts, lamb stews, chicken and leek pies, roast vege salads are some of the pleasures of the Winter months. Eat a lot of hot, garlic-y food and embrace the winter layer.

Have a party, make mulled wine— nothing warms up a living room faster that a lot of people drunk on mulled wine dancing to Jonathan Richman.

Buy something cosy—something warm that you’ll put on because you love it so much, not because it’s so fucking cold outside. Like a soft woolly scarf, some sharp leather gloves, or possum-fur-lined gumboots.

Make happiness while the sun shines —crisp, clear Winter days are a rarity in Wellington, so when it happens, wrap up warm, find a sunny spot and soak up that glorious Vitamin D while you can.

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David burr

Like Anim a the Wee l of ko Faceboo n k!

Animal Fact Due to increas gravity’s ing m on the onopoly g positio eneral matter ning of planes, on vertical w prefer alruses now to be floorru called ses.

In a recent 2 month expedition to Papua New Guinea’s Nakanai and Muller Mountain ranges scientists of Conservation International have discovered almost 200 new species of animals. Some of which included a totally adorable feather tailed possum, a frog small enough to sit on the nail of your little finger and a katydid (or a cricket) that can fend off birds using the large spikes that cover its legs. However, my personal favourite and the Animal of the Week this week is the tube-nose bat. These bats are so recently discovered they don’t even have a scientific name yet.

They are most likely endemic to their island in Muller. As these bats eat fruit and fly great distances they are extremely important seed dispersers and therefore help to maintain the tropical rainforest ecosystem.

I’m going to be honest with you though. The reason I made the tube-nose bat this weeks Animal of the Week is because it looks fricken hilarious! I mean just look at his little face. If you squint he pretty much looks like Yoda. How much more badass can you get than a mixture between Yoda and Batman, that saves the rainforest by pooing?

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Remember how at the beginning of the year I was waxing lyrical about the possibility of a Sweet Bitch of the Month segment, with all the hope and potential of elevenyear-old Lindsay Lohan’s freckled appearance in the Parent Trap? Now, in the words of many a waist-coated Cuba Street busker, the times they are a-changing, because Lindsay is cleaning toilets in a morgue and I can’t seem to commit to writing about ladies I love on a monthly basis. What was I thinking, anyway? How many columns-within-a-column does this thing actually need? I mean, am I trying to write Adaptation?

Adaptation this is not, but sometimes there are women who are just so great they beg to be written about.

Often these women, this inspirational gaggle, come from overseas: The Betty Dodsons, the Beth Dittos, the Nan Goldins. Sometimes they’re dead: The Isabella Blows, The Audre Lords, the Artemisia Sparrow has dedicated her Gentileschis. Sometimes life to improving the sexual though, these lady inspiration beacons walk among us. and reproductive health of Dame Margaret Sparrow New Zealanders is one of them. Sparrow has dedicated her life to improving the sexual and reproductive health of New Zealanders, and in turn, improved the New Zealand quality of life. Sparrow obtained her Bachelor of Medicine from Otago in 1963 and after working at Stratford and Hawera Hospitals she began practise at Victoria University’s Student Health Clinic.

While working at the University she became aware of the desperate need for abortion and contraceptive services among students. Neither were available at the time, and the clinic director believed that contraception should only be given to married couples. After Sparrow attended a Family Planning Association conference she came back and put up a contraceptive display in the clinic. Sparrow then refused to take it down, much to the annoyance of the clinic director. From then on Student Health have provided contraceptives, so next time you grab a handful of salami slings say a little “Thank you Margaret”.

The Reasons to Love Margaret list goes on: She worked as an abortionist at Wellington Hospital for 17 years. After training overseas, Sparrow started a vasectomy clinic in Wellington. She was one of the first medical practitioners in New Zealand to offer emergency contraceptive pills. She worked at the New Zealand Family Planning Association from 1971 until 2005. In 1999, along with four other doctors, she founded the Directors of Istar, who import mifepristone to New Zealand, giving women (and uterushaving-people) the choice between medical and surgical abortions. She has written a book called Abortion: Then and Now. She collects contraceptives. She led the Abortion Law Reform Association of New Zealand for 32 years. Sparrow spearheaded the abortion reform movement in New Zealand AND she continues to campaign for antiquated New Zealand laws to be changed. Amazing.

Thank you Margaret. Thank you for giving me choice.

Thank you for your hard work, your tenacity, your passion.

Your commitment to reproductive health care has allowed my generation to breathe a little easier. My uterus and I are eternally grateful.

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salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Feature

18

LEEoxxpm o peerriieennccee The

Lexie Brown

My package had arrived. I pulled her out and held her in my hands. She feels so light! What’s this little switch for? Oh, here’s the coloured flash bit—I guess I’ll be needing batteries too? My Holga had arrived, and my relationship with film photography had begun.

Ever since I read about the Diana F+, which then led to Lomography, I was intrigued. My initial reaction was “I want that”. As the things that tend to prompt these words are usually unnecessary and unable to be funded on my student budget, these ‘wants’ are often momentary, and I forget I even ‘wanted’ in the first place. But Lomography left a lasting impression. Many Trade Me searches later, I finally committed and clicked the ‘Buy Now’ button on a Holga 120CFN auction.

You may of heard of Holga, Diana F+, Lomo (LC-A) and Coloursplash. These are all film cameras that many would describe as ‘old school’. They are part of a revival called Lomography, which refers to a kind of film camera and the vibrantly coloured, heavily saturated, and blurrededged nature of the prints these cameras produce. The Lomography ethos is underpinned by ’10 Golden Rules’ describing the way photos should be taken. The idea is to take your camera everywhere you go, and to take snaps of everything—of anything. Be spontaneous, be ridiculous, go crazy.

My initial excitement after receiving my Holga in the mail soon turned to helplessness as I realised I had no idea what to do next. Film, aperture, exposure, bulb flash, focus—I’d never heard of any of this. I’m 21-yearsold, which means since the age of 14, I’ve taken photos with a digital camera: it’s all I’ve ever known. Technology enabled ordinary people to shift from film photography to digital photography, which enables infinite photo taking, immediate viewing and also immediate deleting!

For someone like myself who seems to break everything, advances in technology has also seen the creation of ‘drop-proof ’ and ‘water-proof ’ cameras (I’m actually on my second ‘drop-proof ’ and ‘water-proof ’ camera; I’m hoping for the introduction of ‘lost-proof ’ cameras soon). When I’m out with my friends and the camera comes out, all I have to do is push the button, because the camera does everything else. It focuses itself and it decides whether or not to flash with auto-flash – I don’t have to use my brain for anything, and it even turns itself off with ‘auto-off ’. Film cameras, on the other hand, don’t seem to do anything themselves. You can begin to understand how my experience with Holga has been quite the eyeopener.

Even though Google has the answer to everything, I still didn’t know what film to use, or even if I did, I wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to load it, or which way to push all the switches. So off I trotted down Vivian Street to seek professional help at Wellington Photographic Supplies. With my 35mm adapter, I had my Holga loaded with film, and the nice young man there gave me a rundown on how to use her. I stepped out of that store tingling with excitement, and my hand kept lingering over my handbag where she was sitting. I wanted to take photos straight away. The first photo I took was of my little brothers, who I’d stopped to feed at Subway. After the signature ‘click’ and flash, the littlest one asked “Can I see it?”. Out of habit, I moved to push the playback button and hand it over for them to giggle at—but no playback button! What a strange feeling. It suddenly dawned on me that I wasn’t going to find out what any of my 24 frames were going to look like until I’d shot 24 photos, and had them developed, and this could be over a week away!

Anticipation began to simmer.

All of a sudden, digital photography seemed so safe, so secure. With digital, any photo that I wasn’t sure about, I could just check, delete and re-take. If I’d had far too many wines and didn’t want to be reminded of it, I could just check, squirm, and delete. Taking photos with my Holga was so carefree: the photos could turn out great or they could turn out terribly, but there was no point worrying about it because there was nothing I could do about it! I felt like I was throwing caution to wind, being a little bit crazy, having a bit of fun.

Over the course of a week, I shot two rolls of film. While shooting my first roll, I took heed of the well-known phrase “Don’t think, just shoot”. It turns out you do have to think just a little bit, about things like whether the flash is charged or whether it’s on the right focus setting. But sometimes the most screwedup shots are the most memorable. By the second roll, I’d picked up confidence and was taking photos in the street of people I didn’t know (not as perverted as it sounds), or places I walk past everyday and never taken notice of. Having Holga with me everywhere, as if she were an extension of myself, seemed to splash colour onto the dull aspects of a daily routine. 100 stairs on my way to uni, a homeless man feeding birds, even my salad for lunch: they all suddenly seemed worthy of a frame with Holga. A sort of ‘Holga frame of

Here’s a rough price guide. Holga: $80, batteries: $4, film per roll: $8, developing including prints: $20, developing including prints and photos as files to a disk: $30, a variation of adapters: $30-$50 mind’ had seeped into my brain; sometimes I felt like I was seeing life through a viewfinder instead of my own eyes.

I could have written this article as a “How-to Holga” and really detailed how to use her and how to pull off cool tricks. But that would mean, giving you all the answers, and that’s no fun. So, if you’re interested, here’s a rough price guide. Holga: $80, batteries: $4, film per roll: $8, developing including prints: $20, developing including prints and photos as files to a disk: $30, a variation of adapters: $30-$50. If you’re a digi-baby like me, and you want to wind back the technological clock, then get amongst it and figure out the film camera business for yourself. With Google’s help you’ll find some wicked Lomography sites and blogs where you can pick up some epic inspiration on who, what, how, and where to shoot your Lomo camera. Go to a photo shop and ask them a 100 questions, as I did. Your first roll might turn out looking less than impressive, but that’s the magic of it. It’s the ones you least expected to like that you’ll end up loving the most.

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The Arts

Issue 12 Offline

Books

5 Top

Arts Visual ARTS

ISUAL z FOR Valient.org.n ts r s A visit ad about and rend Crafts! a

(incredibly boring) list of Bestselling books ever (we think)

1. The Bible 2. Quotations from Chairman Mao (The Little Red Book) (800 million copies) 4. Xinhua Dictionary (400 million copies) 5. The Lord of the Rings (150 million copies)

Chris Salter If you’ve ever taken pen to paper, you’ll know that writing a good story is extremely hard work.

This being true, crafting 13 separate tales with vast stylistic differences and unconnected narratives, and managing to weave them all together into a effective whole—not simply coherent but creating through them a world that’s intricate, vibrantly alive and deeply funny—can be regarded as nothing less than a masterpiece. Jennifer Egan’s A Visit From the Goon Squad is just that; a witty, powerful work following the lives of a varied array of characters, roughly centred around Bennie Salazar, who is (when we first meet him) the bass player and manager for the San Fransisco punk band ‘the Flaming Dildos’. The chapters, which could easily pass as stand-alone stories, vary widely in style and content—represented amongst them are the struggles of a jealous young lover, written entirely in the second person, a therapist’s appointment with a kleptomaniac, a rock concert in a dystopian New York City and a celebrity column detailing the columnist’s attempted rape of a young actress, written in a polished imitation of David Foster Wallace.

Throughout the novel, Egan shines for her versatility, it taking a prodigious talent to give such justice to these diverse styles.

Beyond this, there’s another thing deserving special mention. This book contains the most emotionally powerful and structurally brilliant powerpoint presentation I have ever seen. It’s been hailed as revolutionary, a stunning subversion of traditional literary style. That description is accurate, every gram of its thunderous praise earned. A Visit From the Goon Squad is a fantastic, engaging read, and well deserves the Pulitzer Prize it won. Highly recommended.

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What’s the Buzz?

Louise Burston

OSSOS JOHNNY CRAWFORD

3. The Qur’an (800 million copies)

Jennifer Egan – A Visit From the Goon Squad

Film

19

Unity Books Gabrielle Mentjox Unity Books on Willis Street has undergone a facelift of sorts in recent months. Unity Books is in the final stages of renovation which has extended the front and sides of the store to make room for their eclectic range of good quality books.

Unity Books was founded in 1967

by Alan Preston with the intention of supplying books from around the world that nobody else had in stock. It still boasts a wide range of interesting titles and has also extended its hoard to include local literature and non-fiction titles.

The renovation required a bit of temporary reshuffling at the store, so the Gender Studies section currently shares some cosy table space with the Spirituality section. What means this? You say. Well, while you’re perusing, say, Jude Schell’s Lesbian Sex: 101 Lovemaking Positions (with illustrations) you can, if the mood strikes you, grab a copy of The King James Bible or Dawkins’ The God Delusion, all within an easy reach. And that’s why I love Unity.

There’s something for everyone.

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Extreme poverty kills cultural specificity. The international success of Kiwi masterpiece Once Were Warriors is partly due to the fact that it could have been set in a similarly destitute place worldwide without having to tweak much of the narrative. In the same way, Pedro Costa’s 1997 breakthrough film Ossos could have been set in Latin America, India or even South Auckland. The film’s inhabitants are too busy trying to get by from day-to-day to celebrate their culture and their slums are out of sight from any landmark that would add any identifiability their location.

Although there is no way to tell by looking at it, Ossos is set in Estrela d’Africa, a ghetto in Lisbon primarily populated by African migrants. Its loose narrative follows a number of characters including a newborn baby, his estranged parents, the mother’s devoted friend, a young prostitute and a nurse who tries to make a difference in the lives of these other, much poorer characters and ultimately fails. An exercise in minimalism, the dialogue is sparse, the performances are understated and most scenes unfold within a single, often stationary shot. It makes no attempt to romanticise or sugar-coat its themes and it unfolds with a deliberate pace showing all the nasty aspects of poverty unflinchingly. There are no Slumdog Millionaire moments of joy to be had, just begging, attempted suicide and empty sex. The result is a very uncomfortable, difficult watch but a nonetheless noble exercise in filmmaking.

Although Costa might have been trying to make a specific point about a part of the city with which he was familiar, the generic nature of the setting means that the film gains universal meaning. With depression rather than catharsis the most likely response, Ossos is a commanding rebuttal against any work that tries to glamorise the lives of those who have not.

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Ossos is showing as part of the Pedro Costa season at the Wellington Film Society. Screenings for the Society are held every Monday at 6:15pm at Paramount Theatre.

The Oaks Building in Manners Street

Monday – Thursday: 9am – 9pm Friday and Saturday: 9am – 10pm Sunday: 11am – 9pm

Being a student is great but, boy oh boy, is it expensive. What with course fees, rent and the soul-shattering price of textbooks it is unsurprising that many of us have jobs as well as being full-time students. Even if I didn’t need to work, however—even if I were a mafia princess whose exorbitant wealth was exceeded only by her passion for teaching miniature poodles the choreography to Dracula: the Ballet—I would still work at Arty Bees. Working at a bookstore is a joy and a gift. I get to surround myself with oodles of books and people who read, collect and love them. This double life as an English Literature student and bookstore employee has taught me two valuable things which I would like to share: - Save your pennies. Try to find pre-loved editions of the books you need to study for courses (this is how I got through everything from The Novel to Contemporary Literature and could still afford to, you know, eat).

Gran Torino

- Acquire even more pennies! If the piles of books in your bedroom are becoming a giant Jenga health hazard then bring them into a second-hand bookstore. Arty Bees will make you an offer in cash as well as double that amount in store credit and any that we don’t want can be passed along to charity if you’re not keen to take them back. If you want to get rid of gargantuan textbooks (I’m looking at you, Science Department) then try bookgoblin.co.nz

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salient.org.nz

The Arts

20

Salient Vol. 74

Theatre

Music

Spotlight on

Sheep,Dog&Wolf Flo Wilson Daniel McBride from the former teen-sensation Bandicoot didn’t solely stick to his drums following the break up of the bFM chart-topping trio. His recent solo project Sheep,Dog&Wolf is a perfect demonstration of McBride’s sheer dedication to musical practice. The May 15th release Ablutophobia not only bears resemblance to sophisticated influences such as Sufjan Stevens, but also shows off McBride’s sheer skill as an instrumentalist: on the EP he plays drums, saxophone, piano, guitar, clarinet, euphonium and cello. The attention to detail is tributary to the nine months in which McBride spent ‘obsessively writing’ the EP in his makeshift bedroom studio, borrowing instruments and gear as he saw fit...

Read more online

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Kate Bush: Director’s Cut

MarineVille: Fowl Swoop

Timothy McKenna-Bolton

Barney Chunn

The planets must be aligned, Kate Bush has released a new album.

A new release from Kate is always a bit of an event, mainly because since her heyday in the 80s the duration between albums has been ever increasing (her last two albums were 12 years apart). If you’re not familiar with Bush’s 1985 masterpiece Hounds Of Love go become familiar right now.

Go get it, quit your job, throw your phone in the sea, lock your door and listen to the album continuously for a week. Leave your house and reflect for half an hour. Then listen for another week...

Read more online

Fowl Swoop, Marineville’s third LP, starts off with a cool low-fi sound that expands nicely, and it continues throughout the record. In fact, musically it’s kind of cool, with nice crunchy warm guitar sounds that are strong but melodic. MarineVille sounds like a band that would be fun to see on a Saturday night if you were with friends and out for a good time, but would also be the band that pissed you off if you were dragged to a show when you didn’t really want to be there but felt you should go. Basically that’s the longwinded version of: they won’t turn you, but if you’re in the mood you’ll enjoy it...

Read more online

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This week in music • Orchestra of Spheres playing All Tomorrow’s Parties! OMG awesome! The event will take place in the UK in December and the Wellingtonians will be joining bands such as Battles, Surfer Blood and Toro Y Moi. They’ve been chosen to play by headliner Caribou. Good stuff guys!

• Free music magazine Groove Guide is to close after not making any money. It follows a revamp this year where they absorbed the remains of Real Groove magazine. Oh noes.

• Modest Mouse are going to play in NZ for the very first time! They’re playing the Powerstation in Auckland on the 1st of August.

• Liam Finn will release his second album next month, called FOMO. • The Family Cactus play San Fran Bathhouse on Friday the 3rd of June.

• Fat Freddy’s Drop play the Frontroom on Saturday the 4th of June...

• Also skankin’ it up that night will be Aucklanders Autumn Splendour at Mighty Mighty.

This is the last week I will be editing the music page. So, goodbye!

Politically-Incorrect Improv Politics Tom Clarke Just as promised, The Improviser’s Politics the Musical delivered the two greatest arts of making things up; politics and improvisation in slick musical form. These practiced theatresportians delivered a smorgasbord of witty songs and intelligent humour and topical references, keeping the audience laughing for an hour and a half.

The audience helped “direct” the action by giving the performers improv creative juice called offers; information or opportunities provided for the advancement of the plot. After much discussion the team was given calling a bi-election, political subsidiary from a ‘dodgy trust’ and funk/country song genres with a Katy Perry jig thrown into the mix.

What then ensued was a mix of genius and practised improv, dispersed with rare moments of panic. The six-man team comprised of Greg Ellis, Ralph McCubbin-Howell, Thomas McGrath, Pete Doile, Richard Falkner, and Ian Harcourt performed a two act ‘political’ musical where diversity trumped the bigoted evil-doers.

As the performance changed each night plot summary seems a little irrelevant but essentially, bigoted conservative evil group subsidizes a political party so they can influence their bylaws. After attempting to create a “pure” New Zealand by deporting 95% of the population for their “differences”, they are opposed by a New Zealand-Chinese liberal highschooler who stands for diversity and the end of discrimination in politics. Good wins against evil and the baddies, led by the malicious Alison Holst melt in a witch-ofthe-westesque death.

The plot was well formed; each scene successfully advanced the action and raised the stakes. This was obviously the work of a well-practised improv troupe demonstrating rehearsed technical theatresports.

However the cohesion of the troupe and story was not always seamless, with some actors relentlessly driving the scenes and occasionally certain actors would wimp out (a real technical term) from offers. All in all the music was incredible (both the talented musicians Robbie Ellis and Tane Upjohn-Beatson and the actors’ singing), the show was funny, and the acting was average. A solid 7/10.

USE YOUR BUS RIDE FOR SOMETHING MORE USEFUL THAN LISTENING TO LADY GAGA. WINNING $25,000 FOR EXAMPLE. It only takes a 100 word description of your business idea for the opportunity to win $25,000 start-up capital and work with some of the best minds in Wellington. Entries close June 26th.

BrightIdeasChallenge.co.nz

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21

Issue 12 Offline

Politics the Musical By the Improvisors 17 – 21 May at Circa Two

Silver Ship and why

everyone should go see it Clare Wilson This month the Theatre Programme of Victoria University of Wellington will present the world premier of Silver Ship: The times and short life of Mary Wollstonecraft, a new theatre work written and directed by John Downie, choreographed by Alyx Duncan, performed by the students of THEA 302 and designed by THEA 324.

I had a chat with Willow Lloyd Smith from THEA302 about the show.

What is Silver Ship about?

Well, I’m sure everyone in the cast has a totally different take, but first and foremost it is about the life of Mary Wollstonecraft.

It’s also an exploration of how history meets the present and how through the theatre we can explore that in a space together.

How’s the experience so far?

It’s transforming. It’s challenging but really great. I was drawn to the paper by the opportunity to work with John Downie, and it’s been a discovery working with him. The class is incredibly talented haha.

Why should the students at Victoria University come to see this play?

Because you’ll never get a chance to see a collaboration like this again. A welded steel set! Crazy multimedia, sex, terror, suicide, capitalism, and amazing choreography by Alyx Duncan, if you don’t know who she is check out her website alyxduncan.com.

In order to understand where we are now, we need to understand where we are from.

Mary Wollstonecraft set a huge precedent in women’s rights, but has gone largely unnoticed by popular culture. This play is a way to bring her into the present in order to share her with others and open up a dialogue.

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Silver Ship: The times and short life of Mary Wollstonecraft Written and directed by John Downie, 31 May - 04 June at 7.30pm. Please arrive 30 minutes early to collect and pay for your tickets, cash only. $8 unwaged, $15 waged (cash only) To book: email theatre@vuw.ac.nz or call (04) 463 5359

Sheep They (you know, critics and stuff) say that theatre should be relevant.

So if you took, say, an acclaimed New Zealand playwright’s latest work and had it debuted at the home of fringe theatre in Wellington by a prominent company of young actors directed by a masters graduate of the national drama school, you’d be onto a good thing, right? This is Sheep, Long Cloud Youth Theatre’s latest production, and the swan song of creative director Willem Wassenaar. Known for fresh and energised reinterpretations of the classics, the company has applied its sense of immediacy to an Arthur Meek original, interrogating New Zealander’s relationships with each other and their country. It’s young, it’s confronting, it’s relevant. Go see it.

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By Arthur Meek 25 May – 11 June at BATS $14 concession/ $18 full

Anomalous Materials:

Narrative & Gameplay Donnie Cuzens

Jonathan Price

Sheep

Games

It was the release last week of Rockstar’s (Grand Theft Auto, Red Dead Redemption) new title, L.A. Noire that brought my attention towards what I hope is the cusp of a sudden leap forward for narrative and its relation to gameplay in video games. Narrative I don’t need to explain in great detail, but when I say “mechanics” I’m talking about what you do in the game, and how you do it.

The setting is post-war 1940s Los Angeles, and you take the role of Cole Phelps: veteran and newly recruited beat cop. The game chronicles Phelps’ rise up the ladder of the LAPD, from a boy in blue to a fedora-sporting detective, and does so with Rockstar’s signature flare for characterisation and a distinct visual style. The game utilises a new method of facial motion capture for its characters, making facial animation more realistic than in any game before. When you interrogate a suspect or witness, you call on them when you think they are lying, guiding the interrogation as you see fit. The mechanic works surprisingly well: at times my friends and I were absolutely stumped as to the honesty of the man being questioned.

What is most unique about L.A. Noire though is how the mechanics of the game, all the actions that take you through the story are necessitated by the story itself, rather than vice versa.

Titles have grown increasingly varied in their balance between emphasis on story or gameplay in the latter decades of gaming history. Imagine a scale: on one end is a game whose full emphasis is on its gameplay mechanics, such as a rally driving game, and on the other end, a game whose mechanics are centred around storytelling. More often than not, sports titles or fighters have stories that are there solely and simply because a game needs characters. The story those characters have

behind them is arbitrary and interchangeable, often downright forgettable (though not always: I’ll die a Tekken fan).

Last year’s Heavy Rain was lauded for the aesthetic of its intense murder-mysterywith-a-heart story and allowed its narrative to be shaped by your every action. However, its interface—the controller commands and on-screen prompts that guide you through the game’s actions—was criticised and welcomed in equal measure. You control characters through a system of prompts and ‘quick time events’ which many found annoying, alluding to the divisive God of War games. Personally, I found the interface worked perfectly for an immersive game like Heavy Rain, and though there may be similarities between the two interfaces, the context of the actions you actually prompt on-screen characters to perform is so vastly different I feel the analogy falls far short. A series of quick-on-your-thumbs movements that guide a woman through her apartment while she flees from the threat of home invaders in a realistic and nail-biting situation seems a much more appropriate use than simply “MASH X TO BASH FACE NOW”.

On their own, the interface and branching narrative of Heavy Rain and the realistic faces in L.A. Noire’s conversations work great. But they also herald the possibility of many more games that are intently focussed on telling a compelling story, and shaping new and exciting gameplay around those stories, especially if you are able to influence the outcome of those stories.

One of my main criticisms for both these games is that while your actions have the illusion of gravity within the game, they hardly impact the final outcome of the story at all.

Obviously multiple endings would be hard to implement in something like a murder mystery; if the “whodunnit” were to change around depending on how you progressed through the story, it would pose some very costly and time consuming writing challenges. Though not insurmountable, it would likely cause a raised eyebrow or two at the publisher’s office. The solution there would be to branch out, find other stories and characters equally interesting and shape a game around them: imagine films like Children of Men or horrors like Event Horizon being moulded into an intense and personal gameplay experience using the technologies now available. The potential for these kind of narrative-based games is almost unending when you think about it.

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MSc scholarships apply now!

If you are considering starting a Master of Science in Semester Two, apply now for an MSc Scholarship from The University of Auckland’s Faculty of Science.

We offer quality, choice and the opportunity to study at an internationally recognised university with first-class academic staff and facilities.

The scholarships on offer cover fees, plus $10,000.

For more information, see www.science.auckland. ac.nz/msc-scholarships.

salient.org.nz

22

Salient Vol. 74

Notices PASIFIKA STUDENTS’ COUNCIL VUW On June 1st, Pasifika Students’ Council is hosting an evening to inspire students to work hard and succeed at their studies. Pacific Islanders in key positions are asked to help inspire our students as they head into their exams. We want to ensure that Pacific students gain some understanding of the dedication and hard work needed to succeed. Pasifika Students’ Associations are showcasing their talent in between the talks. We invite you all to come along and listen to these inspiring talks albeit a snapshot of what has inspired them.

Memorial Theatre Wednesday 1st June 6pm - 8pm Refreshments provided

CAREERS AND JOBS 2011/12 Internships and 2012 Graduate Jobs: Applications Closing Soon (details on CareerHub http://careerhub.victoria. ac.nz): 31/5 – PKF Martin Jarvie; Halliburton – Australasia; NZ Institute of Economic Research (NZIER); Shell; Wynn Williams & Co; Atlas Iron Ltd

Letters Some Povertry (Poetry + Poverty) Dear Salient, Here’s some words on the poverty line, if your above it, your doing just fine, because being below it, is not where you want to go, Some call it living, I call it just dying slow, If your born above it, count your lucky stars, if born below it, you have to fight to against those bars, get an education, use your degree, earn that qualification, earn your dignity, learn their dance, play the big game, do want you have to so the stories not the same. with hope,

1/6 – Transpower 2/6 – Motu Economic and Public Policy Research Trust 7/6 – IBM 10/6 – Fisher & Paykel 12/6 – Walt Disney World; Beca 13/6 – Frucor; Prudential 15/6 – Contact Energy (IT) 17/6 – Intergen 20/6 – PKF Ross Melville 25/6 – Fisher & Paykel 30/6 – Carter Holt Harvey 1/7 – Telecom (Engineering); Intercontinental Hotels Group 8/7 – MetService 9/7 – Google Careers Expos – check details CareerHub: 11/8 – Science Careers Expo, 11am – 12pm Vic Careers: 463-5393, careersservice@vuw.ac.nz, 14 Kelburn Parade

Women’s Group Film and Cards Night 6pm Tuesday 31st of May Meeting Room 2 Everybody’s welcome to come along to watch a movie and play cards (not at the same time).

Pizza will be provided.

FLATMATE WANTED Flatmate wanted to fill room in apartment on Thorndon Quay, Pipitea. To flat with 2 females and 2 males. Rent: $136 + $15 expenses.

Close to train station and Lambton Quay. Preferably male. Call or txt Thea: 0210 031 8553 or Ben: 027 812 0769 or Grace: 027 341 3001

Extra cheese!

Dear Blondie (from way out West) We here at VUWSA (well, me, Campbell, anyway) read your letter with great interest. After mulling (as I famously spend my time doing) I decided that Clint is a pretty awesome guy, and that VUWSA should join in the celebration of his birthday.

So feel free to join us (actually, because the event is being held for you, you’re pretty much obliged to attend) on Wednesday as we screen his not-quite-most-awesomebut-up-there film Grand Torino.

I appoint you the official VUWSA Clint-Eastwood-Drinking-Game Coordinator! For good measure we’ll also throw an Eastwood round into the quiz (which will also be held on Wednesday. You will be there).

Johnny.

You can even wear a poncho.

Lovin’ Mother Earth

Columnists are Doing It for Themselves!

Dear Salient, When will the stubborn and closedminded economists realize that our Earth is not comprised of infinite resources? What will it take for industrializing nations to start being compassionate about their effects on the environment – especially seeing as our survival depends on a co-existence? While the proposed deep sea oil drilling may make New Zealand more ‘self-sustainable’ economically, in doing so we feed the cause of why this has become more of a necessity. Considering they are proposing off-shore oil rigs twice as deep as the one that leaked in the Gulf of Mexico, we risk serious environmental catastrophe.

Furthermore, we’re pulling up more fossil fuels! New Zealand ought to set example and foster ‘research and development’ of renewable technologies. NZ could be at the forefront of sustainability, and not just a half-arse attempt. I understand that everything eventually dies, but no need to hurry up the process.

Concerned Earth Dweller.

[Pretending to Care] Dear Internetlient [Insert genereic anti-online issue letter here] Love, Fuck you

SERIOUSLY, DOES ANYONE THINK THAT THE SIGN IS A GOOD IDEA? ANYONE? Dear Sali-wood-lient, Wellywood, eh?

Fuck off.

Love, Meveryman

I’m writing this not because I think that Ally Garrett needs me to defend her (because much like an aloof Tasmanian Devil in statement headwear I think she’s probably quite okay in the self-defence department), but because the complaints about her column have really bothered me.

They bothered me because (with the exception of an accusation of anti-feminism) they pretty much all smacked of “That woman is too opinionated, how dare she analytically discuss things I don’t care to think about.” They also employed the the words “bitch”, “moo cow”, and invited Chuck Norris to assault her, which in my opinion, are misogynistic silencing tactics levelled at pretty much every lady who calls shit as she sees it.

If Ally Garrett being often offended evokes responses such as: Why doesn’t she just lighten up / aren’t there more important things to be bitching about / “I would rather contract chlamydia than read about her personal inadequacies” then regardless of your gender I think you need to sort your sexist shit out.

No, it’s not that I think you shouldn’t be allowed to dislike someone’s column, it’s because what you appear to take issue with is her general lippy stroppy bitchiness, self reflection, and the fact that she sometimes actively discusses (shock horror) privilege and the lack of it.

I realise this may make you uncomfortable, you may prefer to live your life surrounded by ladies who never question their lot in the world, and frankly I couldn’t give a gold plated dildo about your sexist preferences...it’s the fact that you have actively sought to silence her that bothers me.

You have taken the time to let her know she should pretty much keep her bitchy mouth shut, and I bet on your entitled sense of not wanting some woman to make you think hard

LOST/FOUND Black USB found plugged into a level 1 computer on Wednesday the 25th of May. Have handed it into the library desk.

Toastmasters!!!

Wednesdays, 12-1pm, Room 218, Student Union Building Because communication isn’t optional, Toastmasters is a club dedicated to helping people practice public speaking in a fun and supportive environment.

Everyone - no matter what your current public speaking ability – is welcome. Come along and see what Toastmasters is all about.

Visit us online at vicuni.freetoasthost. info

THE CAMPUS PROJECT Do you have a student flat/ place of residence/ cardboard box that you think should be recorded for posterity?

Photographer John Lake is documenting elements of student life during 2011 for a project to be archived in the Adam Art Gallery collection.

Interested? Want to barter a deal?

Contact mail@johnlake.co.nz

Wednesday Communion Centre your busy week with prayer and a mid-week communion. A quiet service based on Anglican Prayer

Book is held every Wednesday, in the Chapel at 8 Kelburn Pde 12:10 to 12:45. All are welcome

Christian Meditation “Meditation is a pilgrimage to our own center, to our own heart. To enter into the simplicity of it demands discipline and even courage. We need faith, simplicity; we need to become childlike”.

(John Main) Come and join us for a time of stillness and silence in the midst of your busy week.

Each Tuesday 3-3.30pm Catholic Tertiary Chaplaincy 4 KP (prayer room upstairs) All welcome.

Vic Volunteer Team Leaders needed!

Do you have excellent communication and people skills?

Able to handle confidential information?

Can you motivate others and ensure volunteers continue to carry out their role?

Do you want to be a leader?

Vic Volunteers is currently looking to recruit two new Team Leaders to help lead their volunteer note taking teams. A Team Leader liaises with Vic Volunteer note-takers, Administration Assistants and the Vic Volunteer Coordinator. You need excellent communication skills, initiative and the ability to work independently and as part of a team.

about inequality, that she wouldn’t seem quite so ‘bitchy’ and like a ‘moo cow’ if she were a dude.

Learn to defend self “It’s kung fu, not karate!” False advertising

We have to get over this false dichotomy of nice girls and shrieking harpies. We have to stop telling women it’s unattractive, alienating and bitchy for them to get really fucking angry at stuff you’d rather not think about.

I-can’t-think-of-a-pseudonym-inhaiku-form-but-this-should-suffice

I realise that calling out misogyny and silencing tactics in Salient letters is likely to be swallowed by some with the same difficulty I had processing the irony of writing a letter of complaint to complain about Ally Garrett complaining too much, but frankly I have no preference on swallowing. So suck it.

Yours, Constance Cravings.

Cross, Not Cryptic Hi Salient (no clever nicknames for you guys here, I simply cannot be stuffed.), I do occassionally read the articles in Salient, but more often than not it is the Cryptic crossword that catches my eye. A friend and I have a tradition of completing it together and in fact I would go so far as to say I wouldn’t even bother with picking up a copy at all if it weren’t for the crossword.

What inspired me to share this with you is that in this weeks online version I could not for the life of me find the crossword leading me to believe this weeks one does not exist (if it does, please point me in the right direction!).

I don’t mind Salient being online, having a laptop I can access it whenever, but without the crossword I have no motivation to! So please take pity on the pathetic puzzle pursuers and include the crossword in next weeks issue, whether it be online or printed.

Cheers, from a pair of sad and lonely nerd girls who have nothing better to do with their time.

P.S Love the Dr.Who references every week, why aren’t they in the online version too?

Don’t Worry, We Haiku (like you) Too Dear Salient I am very offended because... you didn’t get my name right last time I wrote to you. To the detriment of the essay I should have been working on, I very carefully constructed a haiku pseudonym which detailed the difficulties of constructing a haiku pseudonym. My mum told me it was cool... And yet you didn’t format it in haiku form (three lines), thus the irony was probably lost on most.

Please ensure proper line spacing in the future (slash present) because I have another haiku to share, this time inspired by The Karate Kid (2010):

Thank you for your time,

We run Ubuntu. It’s okay.

To all Microsoft fan boys, Can someone please explain to me why it takes 5 to 10 fucking minutes to simply log onto the computers in the Library? As if it isn’t enough to have to wait in line for 15mins just to print a bloody essay.

Why can’t we print from our own laptops!! This is a university, money for tech should be growing on trees!!!! Yet we’re using Windows 7 on 2-3 year old computers. Hello?

Common sense?

You will also assist in organizing and running events during the year and recruiting note takers.

“Tienes dificultades con tus clases de español?”

It is an advantage to have been a volunteer with the service in the past, although not a requirement. You will however need some awareness of the issues surrounding disability and knowledge of the University environment and the structures that exist. Personal experience of disability is advantageous.

Don’t Worry! Spanish tutor available for all levels.

If you would like to apply for the position please submit a cover letter, CV and two referees to vicvols@vuw. ac.nz with the word Team Leader in the Subject heading. Applications close 8am Tuesday 7th June.

Interviews will take place from the 10th till the 15th of June.

If you have any questions please email them to vicvols@vuw.ac.nz or keryn.roberts@vuw.ac.nz or consult Career Hub.

Vic OE – Vic Student Exchange Programme Why not study overseas as part of your degree?!

Earn Vic credit, get Studylink & grants, explore the world!

Weekly seminars on Wednesdays, Level 2, Easterfield Building, 12.55pm - 1.05pm Upcoming Deadlines: For Tri 1, 2012 exchange - July 16th, (UC June 30th) Email: exchangestudents@vuw.ac.nz Website: victoria.ac.nz /exchange Visit us: Level 2, Easterfield Building Drop-in hours: Mon & Tues 9-12, Wed-Fri 10-12

to uni, I stub the same toe.. Bugger, I should have brought plasters. Oh well, I’m sure the student health will have some. So I ask the lady at reception, ‘hey, stunned ma toe.

Could I please have a sticky plaster so I don’t get blood everywhere?’ lady: ‘sure, let me just get your name and you can take a seat.’ Me: ‘ah, I just need a plaster.. You don’t have any just lying around?’ lady: no sorry, take a seat, the nurse will be right out.’ me: (fucyooo) -sits down impatiently- nurse comes out as Im about to walk out the door. She goes all hard out, cleaning my toe and using stery strips and everything.

When she’s finished she let’s me know that they’ve probably charged me for my visit..

All I wanted was a freaking plaster..

Arrrrrgh! Bang! End of rant.

But no, Windows is such a fabulous Operating System, it works so wonderfully well.. Never get a mac, nooooooo.. That BSOD (blue screen of death) is such an aesthetically pleasing image... I sincerely enjoy each login being slower than the last..

Signed, Angry Echo.

I hate to sound like and apple-fag, but at-least if Vic had apple servers and desktops then there wouldn’t be an anal virus scanning program going off every time you downloaded a pdf or plugged in a usb stick. And I’m pretty sure that logging in wouldn’t take half a century..

Can you please refrain from posting a Hark! A Vagrant comic at the start of EVERY 209 lecture. It was witty at first, funny for a bit but is now just old. No one like a joke-killer, so please give it a rest.

And even if that’s too expensive, install Ubuntu or another Linux Disto, which would be FREE, easy to use and educational.. It’s far better than windows and 100% FREE FREE FREEEEEEEEEE. It actually works, is that so hard?

Waiting...........

...Sigh Hey Alan, did you enjoy your poon on Monday? I did. It was the best poon I ever gave, and you definitely took it like the man you are.

So you’ve graduated now huh??

Graduated like a BOSS!! Now go to America and shit on it like a BOSS!!

But remember [sing it] - don’t you, forget about me!! Coz we had three wonderful weeks together, and now we’re all pretty much glued by the memories of times when we were young, and drunk, in Changping.

Yeah we read your Letter in Salient.

And here’s your reply. Someone better make sure Mr. Young gets to see it... while he’s busting his ass taking tips for under-the-table favours in the ‘tron. Pfft, he’s in the ‘tron. Shame. <3 always!!

The Funky Bunch!!

Toetally Enraged I stubbed my toe on the way to uni yesterday. Getting ready for uni this morning I thought to myself, ‘should I pop a few extra plasters in my bag just in case my toe starts bleeding?.. Nah it’ll be okay.’ walking

Dinocop wouldn’t inspire criticism To the girl in ENGL 209

Another thing, if you are going to post humorous comics, please stick to the topics at hand. We don’t even study Fitzgerald in this course, where is the relevance?!!!

Yours Sincerely Girl beginning to skip lectures to avoid your tedious joke

Double Frown for the Double Down Dear People in the letters page expressing their excitement over the Double-Down-by-way-of-Salient.

(And-to-those-excited-about-theDouble-Down-in-any-way-shapeor-form), I implore you. Don’t. Just don’t do it. Don’t.

Think of all that is good and not deep fried in the world.

There’s still so much to live for.

-NotEvenAVegetarian

Teacher Salary Dispute Dear Editor, In a recent feature article ‘Teachers vs Doctors’, Salient made a number of claims about teacher salaries, which it said were taken from Ministry of Education statistics. I contacted the Ministry to check the accuracy of the claims made, and received the following response: “The Ministry of Education does not support the claim

by Salient in an article about teaching ‘that 60% of secondary teachers in New Zealand receive a salary of $45,000’. As at April 2010, 58.9% of secondary teachers had a base salary of at least $68,980.”

I can help you with assignments, pronunciations and spelling Mobile: 0220163880 Email: miriampipa@gmail.com

Salient provides a free notice service for all Victoria University of Wellington students, VUWSAaffiliated clubs and not-for-profit organisations. Notices should be received by 5pm Tuesday the week before publication. Notices should be fewer than 100 words.

For-profit organisations will be charged $10 per notice. Send notices to editor@salient.org.nz, with ‘Notice’ in the subject line.

Salient Letters Policy 2011 Salient welcomes, encourages and thrives on public debate—be it serious or otherwise—through the letters pages. Write about what inspires you, enrages you, makes you laugh, makes you cry. Send us feedback, send us abuse. Anything.

Letters must be received before 5pm Tuesday, for publication the following week.

Letters must be no more than 250 words. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number. These will not be printed.

Please note that letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar.

The Editors reserve the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters without explanation.

Letters can be sent to letters@ salient.org.nz, posted to Salient, c/- Victoria University, PO Box 600, Wellington or dropped into the Salient office on the third floor of the Student Union Building.

m to ~

Send ‘e

.nz nt.org @salie letters / c t Salien y iversit ria Un o t ic V 0 0 6 x PO Bo n gto Wellin

It seems that Salient writers need to be more thorough in their research - many potential teachers may have been deterred from entering the profession because of the unaccurate figure quoted.

Edwina Allen

Zoe responds...

Hi Edwina, Statistics on teacher salaries did not come from the Ministry of Education but were checked against them.

There is an error in my writing and I apologise for this- I was referring to entry level salaries, that is, the first five years of one’s career.

Edwina’s figures are correct and do match the ones I used for the article, frustratingly for all- 58.9% of teachers did have a base salary of $68,980 when last measured, this in part reflects that aging teachers are more common than new recruits.

I fully retract the statement and, at a loss, completely apologise for being completely misleading with figures relating to teachers’ salaries.

Conversationally, there is a large debate between the Ministry of Education and many teachers, involving the unions, relating to the figures the Ministry of Education releases with regard to teachers’ salaries. When trying to get a pay rate which actually considered inflation and the larger workload given, the Ministry of Education provided statistics to the press which were, in many ways, misleading and failed to note the extra workload which came with the pay ‘rise.’ As a result, using Ministry of Education statistics can be useful as a base point but unfortunately, they have as much of an agenda as the unions when presenting figures!

Thank you for pointing out the error and keeping us on our toes, Sincerely, Zoe Reid

& Puzzles

Comics

Black Hole In this puzzle, the letters in the middle of the grid are missing. These letters, and the leftover letters that aren’t circled, spell out two quotes from the same person.

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11 12 13

16

14

17

15

18

19

21

22

DOWN:

CRYPTIC ACROSS:

CRYPTIC DOWN:

1. Stress (8)

3. Thrilled East Coast is stationery (8)

1. Before small is certain to insist (8)

6. Succinctness (7)

2. To depart suddenly (8)

6. Try vibe of shortness (7)

9. Chide (8)

3. Bird of prey’s nest (5)

2. Clear out the back cave beginning under archways towards exit (8)

10. To advise against (8)

4. Vegetation (5)

9. Scold the reply to method without automatic payment (8)

11. Very windy (8)

5. Lunge (6)

13. Hoard (5)

7. Harsh (7)

16. In that place (5)

8. Trade (8)

18. Study of the physical world (7)

12. Stockings (7)

20. A language (7)

14. A dissertation (5)

24. Late (5) 28. Incandescent (8)

25 26

23

29. Hideous (8) 27

28

30. Strict (7) 31. Container (8)

29 30 31

ue

iss

10

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on uti

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3. Overjoyed (8)

26. A partnership (8)

24

SUDOKU

ACROSS:

22. Chubby (5) 20

23

: WN DO RIG P 1. S ERIT E 2. M TIQU N : 3. A AST AGE SS R O E T R AC IMITA 4. F VAN T D C IC D 1. S 5. A EREL P AR W . D ELO 5. A EAD 6 R EV N 7. D ATTLE 7. D RISO O 8. R BODE QUE 10. OYAL E S R 9. A ROTE 12. MPIR CHE U N G 11. YNCH C 16. VALA I L A 13. LASS C 17. OPIC ATE I C C T 14. UNAT T 19. TRUN T N I L .

15. AGEA CE 20 URSU R P P A TE . .

L S 1 18 P 2 B O RE E 3. L RAY CE 22. COP 2 N A S FO 24. UBST 25. DDLE S A E 26. LEAN D 27. VAD C E 29. NTEN 28.

I .

30 EART H 31. LOPE RSE E 32. RAVE T 33.

Issue 12 Offline

10. Put off insulting the suede (8)

3. Half a ring in the eye from a high isolated place (5)

13. Shop or set? (5)

4. A guy who thinks he’s fly and is also known as a buster, always talking about what he wants and just sits on his broke ass. (5)

16. At that point after two (5)

5. Shove the corrosion (6)

18. A discipline of consciences (7)

7. Sour brands of computers and of pens (7)

20. Do it yourself back before the plate speaks like a Jew (7)

8. General manufacturing in dirt starts really yammering (8)

22. Fat Bond’s boss in orange juice fiction (5)

12. Nylons from whores are mostly fiery (7)

24. Drat! Why not prompt? (5)

13. A gram of faeces is something to look at (5)

21. To beseech (7)

26. The treaty of everything in one or eleven (8)

14. Ye ass of a paper! (5)

22. Sporadic (8)

28. The loom in US is glowing (8)

23. Not good enough (8)

29. Grew the sum till it was repugnant (8)

25. Dried fruit (6)

30. Put thigh tense (7)

27. Vote for (5)

31. Tin is able to rise around tea (8)

13. Vision (5) 15. To repair (4) 17. A style (4) 19. Accent (8)

28. Often-nocturnal primates from Madagascar (5)

11. Stormy lust in straw rasp (8)

15. Get better like your foot (4) 17. Demonstration of fashion (4) 19. Add significance to electronic mishaps (8) 21. Plead the knowledge of mischievous little demons (7) 22. I see the full stop is intermittent. (8) 23. Not deserving to throw New York after you (8) 25. Ray by sin was once a grape (6) 27. Delectable to choose (5) 28. Rule around a million who like to move it move it (5)

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