Msss bulletin 17 2015

Issue 17 / 30 October 2015

Middle/Senior School Bulletin

Middle & Senior School News

The Year 12 Graduating Art Exhibition was installed today and will remain on display in the Learning Hub for the next fortnight. Opening night will be held next Friday 6 November and all members of the St Andrews community are warmly invited to come and enjoy the work.

Today we celebrated World Staff Day and we took the opportunity to thank all staff for their care, dedication and commitment towards ensuring the best possible learning environment for our students to enjoy. Students wrote lovely affirmations and thank you notes to their teachers and other members of College staff and these were received with great appreciation. From the teachers working with students in classrooms to our non-teaching staff, each member of our St Andrews team continues to work diligently towards making this a great community and for that we are so grateful!

The Arts Last Friday night the Cultural Awards evening was held at the College and it was a stunning showcase of the talents of our students. With the support of our very dedicated Arts staff, these performers continue to thrive and flourish. The musicality of the vocalists, including the choirs continues to be nothing short of inspired. This year has seen our Dance program grow significantly with multiple troupes forming and the combined Concert Band which performed at the end of the evening, will be a welcomed addition to our bands program as the College Concert Band in 2016. In Visual Arts our students continue to showcase their work in the local Bulletin newspaper and in local exhibitions.

East Timor Service Learning Tour 2016 College Chaplain, Graeme Schache and Deputy Head of Junior School, Jacqueline Faulkner are leading a Service Learning tour to East Timor, from 1–11 July (TBC), and student applications to attend close early next week. As we have managed to secure some cheaper than anticipated air travel arrangements through Jetstar, the revised anticipated cost is $2500. A parent information evening for those interested in attending, will be held later this term.

Mufti Day Tuesday 10 November – Pink and Yellow for Cancer Awareness Each term the College holds a muftiday to raise funds in support of local, national or international charities.

This term, our focus is on Cancer Awareness and all funds raised will go towards supporting College families who are experiencing the impacts of serious illness in their homes. On Mufti-Day students are encouraged to wear Yellow or Pink and to bring in a gold coin donation. Baked goods will also be on sale on the day to raise additional funds. The Click photography group are also holding a photobooth.

Presentation Night Preparations are underway for this year’s Presentation Nights.

• Senior School (Years 10-12) Presentation Night will be held on Wednesday 18 November 2015 at 6.30pm at the Arts Centre Gold Coast.

• Middle School (Years 7-9) Presentation Night will be held on Wednesday 2 December 2015 at 6.00pm in the Multi-Purpose Hall at St Andrews Lutheran College.

• Junior School (Years 4-6) Presentation Night will be held on Monday 30 November 2015 at 5.00pm in the Multi-Purpose Hall at St Andrews Lutheran College.

These are compulsory evenings for students and an occasion for us to acknowledge the work of our students throughout the year and celebrate who we are as a community. If your child is unable to attend please send a note into the College a week prior to the event.

The Power of Parent Connections Over the past two weeks I have spoken to a few groups of students about some concerning pushing of boundaries and carelessness in actions and words, inside and outside the physical spaces of the College. Before I go any further, know that I sincerely believe our students are thoughtful, kind and appreciative in full measure but like the rest of us, flawed and sometimes influenced by the pressures of these identify forming years and modern society. Discussing choices and consequences openly at the College and at home helps us to ensure St Andrews continues to be a community that values ‘more than a good education... an education for good,’ and in our daily walk, continue to be a place where we focus on the development of the whole person.

As adults, I believe the most powerful thing we can do is to stay connected.

Stay connected with your child by being open to talking through your boundaries and expectations and also their ideas and thoughts around independence, trust and their world in general. Stay connected to one another. If your child is wanting to spend time with peers or to sleep over at another family’s house and you are feeling uncomfortable or unfamiliar with the family, call the parents and talk about your boundaries and expectations and their boundaries and expectations. Adolescents often use generalised statements like, ‘everyone is going’, ‘no one else’s parents are calling’ or ‘don’t you trust me’ to push boundaries and to become

more independent. The balance of how much freedom/ independence afforded a young person is a difficult juggling act for parents and very dependent on the individual, the family values and context. From personal experience, I know how challenging that balance can be. Finally, please stay connected with staff at the College. We are here to help and while there are limits and complexities to how we might be able to offer support, we will always take a restorative and Gospel centred approach and do our best to help. My hope and intent in raising this is that it might prompt family discussions at home and/or conversations amongst staff and parents.

Virginia Warner Deputy Principal Head of Secondary School

Middle School News Year 9 ‘The Edge’ As this article is being published the Year 9 girls are about half way through their experience out at the Googa site. The boys have just completed their Service-Learning activities and their reflective sessions. ‘The Edge’ is a significant experience in the life of a student at the College and is often viewed by students in their senior years as one of the defining moments in their education at St Andrews. At times families can be understandably anxious about the time away from the regular timetable or the duration of the stay at the Googa site; however, the benefits gained from this month-long program significantly outweigh the disruption or the anxieties. At a time in a young person’s life when it is possible to be egocentric in one’s approach to the world The Edge affords them an opportunity to turn attentions to others and through that experience gain knowledge about how they will step into the coming adult world.

Class Placements for 2016 The process of organising classes for 2016 is well under way. Many variables are present when decisions are made regarding where a particular student should be placed for the coming year including; learning style, language choice, gender balance, role modeling and social interaction. From time to time students view only friendship group as the defining variable in placement, and accordingly may be disappointed when the final lists are available at the start of 2016. I met a past student a number of years ago who had struggled coping with the change to university. He concluded that the main factor responsible for his difficulties was that he had been too comfortable at school and had not been forced to cope with circumstances that forced him to work with different people throughout his school life.

While ‘what’ we learn in the classroom is very important in the process of education, ‘how’ we approach our learning is becoming viewed as significantly more important.

Please feel free to contact me should you wish to discuss any matter further.

Tom Casey Head of Middle School

Senior School News Flourishing in the Senior School This week we have been talking about Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence as one of the strengths related to the virtue of transcendence. As part of the St Andrews experience we have the opportunity to witness that everyday as staff and students challenge themselves to personal bests, their own form of excellence, then we have the truly gifted – the singers, artists, performers, sports stars, dancers, mathematicians, scientists, geographers, creatives.

While we all have gifts and talents that should be appreciated and shared the true gift that you can give someone is the gift of courtesy, respect and grace. We are all imperfect, we all make mistakes and this week there have been several occasions where I have had conversations around acceptance not judgement. We all walk our own path and I am optimistic that as we model grace and forgiveness our young people will understand the way we do things around here.

Congratulations to: • The Year 11 students who came together last week to begin a garden project. Thanks to Mr Nelson and Ms Yeo, our always hard-working ground staff, Kalem McLuckie, Oliver Lepp, Oliver Waddingham, Ben Beggs, Ben Wooldridge, Gene Huang, Riley Kennedy and Darby Kenyon for a really productive and enjoyable afternoon.

Reflection from the Kokoda Track ‘Walking in the Footsteps of Australian Heroes’ – by Ty Sheers (pictured left in PNG on the Kokoda Track) “Kokoda! To go to the place where thousands of Aussie soldiers fought with their mates by their sides and their families waiting at home. They fought for our country and for all future Australians. Walking the Kokoda Track has been an unforgettable experience. History books can only teach so much but to have a true understanding of what our soldiers did for us you need to go there, see the terrain and experience the conditions they were fighting in, it’s undefinable. It was an extraordinary experience, and for anyone wanting to go over and experience this first hand - train as much as you can, as the more you train the more enjoyable the experience becomes.”

•

•

Ashleigh Kemp and Mackenzie Hall who spent significant time coaching their primary Netball team and assisted with their development by accompanying the team to the Sunshine Coast for the Mission Firebirds Netball Carnival. Well done, ladies!

Natalie Roberts who competed at the National Track and Field Championships placing 2nd in the 200m, 7th in the 100m and winning the relay. Well done, Natalie!

If you have any queries or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me on tanias@salc.qld.edu.au Tania Stewart Head of Senior School

Chaplains Chat

Student Development Many Hands Make Light Work Last week several Year 11 students volunteered and built up a new garden bed between the Senior Administration and the Library. This will be symbolic for them as they walk past the growing garden in the coming 15 months. They will each have a reference point for the time they spent together making a difference to the College they love. It will speak to them of leadership, service and preparation for launching into life with vigour and confidence.

Have you ever stopped to think about the number of things that go right each day? Our default position tends to be one that focuses on the one or two things that go wrong and, therefore, we blow everything out of proportion.

In chapels we have recently explored the topic of gratitude and promoted the idea of thinking about three things that went well each day or for which we can be thankful (the old idea of counting your blessings). This is a simple and yet powerful exercise because it breaks the normal pattern of thinking and helps our mind to meditate and replay good events. It has also been proven to increase mental well-being and lower the severity of depression.

When this gratitude exercise is utilised an interesting question sometimes arises – who or whom do we thank for the good things that happen in our lives? Sometimes the event or situation has an obvious answer – it could be another person or an external force like the weather but at other times the answer isn’t always as clear.

A long time ago I made a deliberate decision to start thanking God for everything that occurred in my life whether I could see an obvious link to God’s action or not. I would thank God for my clothes, my food, my conversations, my friendships and every normal part of life I could find. I even started thanking God for negative events like sickness, delays, interruptions and conflict because in each of these I could sometimes sense a number of hidden positives. I could never be sure if God was behind everything that came my way but it seemed good to thank Him and acknowledge God as the author of life and active agent in the world.

Lutheran theology is good at making sense of a God who works behind the normal aspects of life providing His love and care through ordinary means. What ordinary things do you have to be grateful for this week? Have you considered that behind them all is our loving, tender and merciful God? Nathan Glover College Pastor

The experience enriched their experience of teamwork, deepened relationships with students they will serve with next year and remind them of the difference they can make around campus, in the lives of others and in the building of a positive, caring community. They contributed to each other’s experience with humour, directions, encouragement, even disagreement to find best solutions. These are young people who we as a community can be proud of, as their response when they saw a problem or area neglected was to chip in together to create noticeable change. It demonstrates that the senior leaders in the coming year will carry on the legacy of previous scholars and build further.

James Nelson Director of Student Development

Performing Arts News Term 4 Dates As we look ahead to an exciting and busy Term in Performing Arts. Below are some key dates to pop in the calendar.

Tuesday 10 November

Evening of Song (2 Sessions)

RBT

Saturday 14 November Animi Dance Concert

RBT

Thursday 19 November Piano Concerts (2 Sessions)

MPH

Tuesday 24 November

Speech and Drama (2 afternoon concerts)

RBT

Band Soiree Afternoon

RBT

Friday 27 November

PAT Staff Update We welcome this week John White who will be taking Kate Oakley-Grant’s piano students until the end of the year, as Kate has accepted a part time classroom position at St Hildas (NB Kate will remain with Strings and String Ensemble). We also welcome back Mr Paul Roberson who will teach MS and SS Guitar. Paul was with us many years ago and we welcome him back to the PAT Team.

In additional PAT news, Mrs Cassie Zorko (our PAT Speech and Drama Teacher who has been on maternity leave in 2015) has decided not to return and Louise Delaney – who has been with us for over a decade will take all of PAT Speech and Drama in 2016. We wish Cassie all the very best and also thank Miss Morgan Garrity for her work this year with Cassie’s students.

Cilla Scott Head of Arts

**Further details will be available soon.

Cultural Awards Congratulations to the following students: Bronze Cultural Award Abbey Bates Amber Clarke Cianne Carter Amber Rytenskild Rory McLynskey Claudia Steele Abbey Schumacher Ella van der Kamp Tia Lightbody Jaidyn McNeill

Thomas Marshall Hayden Verschuure Ben Roberts-Brown Sebastian Cox Kimberley Stokes Callum Ahern Natalie Roberts Yasmin Morrison Isobel Thomas

Silver Cultural Award Clare Spicer-Brown Oliver Waddingham Jonathon Aiello Monique Holborn Zahra Whyte Lily Fleming Jamie Catherwood Anita Munro Sophia Dart Grace Catherwood Kalindi Porter Mariel U’Ren Isabella Ashby

Ebony Pitchers Leilani Frost Sophie Breach Isabella Janssen Mathilde Lambert Finn McLynskey Laetitia Sanderson Lucy Hourn Zoey Cheesman Ella Atkinson Harrison Craig-Ward Lani Caruana

Gold Cultural Award Samantha Todd Elliott Baylis Lyle Duncan Jarrod Yates

Boadicea Elden Tahnee Pitchers Nathan Lindsay

FOSTAA Middle School – Leilani Frost and Ebony Pitchers Senior School – Sophie Breach and Finn McLynskey Spotlight Theatre Encouragement Award Lucy Hourn

Visual Arts News From the Visual Art Studios…

An annual highlight on the Visual Art calendar is the Energies Exhibition at the Gold Coast Art Gallery. This exhibition has been running for nearly thirty years and was the catalyst for the Minister’s Awards for Excellence in Art (now Creative Generation). This is something that the Gold Coast can be so proud to own, and we are very blessed to have a month given to us each year for the Exhibition by the Council. It is a significant part of the Gold Coast Art Gallery’s programming and has been the space that several well – known, contemporary Australian artists had their work first exhibited. With many ex students from St Andrews currently studying or working within the Arts fields, both here and overseas, I hope they look back and are proud of where it all began.

This year we celebrate with six Year 12 students who exhibited at this exhibition, Zak Taylor, Kimberly Stokes, Claire Duncan, Samuel Freeman, Oliver Wren and Freja Bergenholtz. These six students produced thought provoking and resolved artwork that demonstrates what our young people are thinking, feeling and feel passionate about. I look forward to sharing their work with the wider St Andrews community as part of their Graduating Art Exhibition.

As part of the Energies exhibition, the Benefactors of the Gold Coast Art Gallery provide funds to employ three artists to conduct workshops with these students as part of an Energies Immersion day. This year, four of our students went along and completed workshops in a number of media areas. They met keen art students from all over the Gold Coast and learnt new techniques and skills of making art.

Claire, Kimberly, Oliver and Sam then came back to school and shared their experience with their peers. A special congratulations and thank you to Kimberly as she spent the lunch hour on the day in a Q & A type session with Gallery staff and the benefactors about how important Visual Art has been for her. She handled this moment in the spotlight

with poise, maturity and thoughtfulness and really gave the benefactors an understanding of how they support our young people to make their art.

LOTE News

The Institute of Modern Languages will again be offering 18 hour language courses for one week from Monday 11 January – Friday 15 January 2016, in the following five languages: Chinese (Mandarin), French, German, Spanish and Japanese.

This course is aimed at students in Years 11 and 12 in 2016 and former students of St Andrews who attended gave it glowing reports.

As I write, all entries have been submitted into the Gold Coast Bulletin Capture Photography Awards and the judges will be making the tough decisions.

Thank you to all those students who have shown their keenness this year to learn more about capturing their world through the lens. It is a pleasure to have so many students interested in learning more about photography and making the most of opportunities presented to them. Good luck and watch this space for further announcements with regard to this competition.

Another thank you to all those students who have entered their photographs into the Gold Coast Bulletin’s EdIT section of the newspaper each Tuesday. This is a fantastic opportunity to get your work out into the wider community and I urge all of the photographer’s out there to keep sending them in to the paper to be considered for publication.

Finally, a Congratulations to Oliver Waddingham (Year 11).

He has been so willing to share his talents with others, across the College whenever he has been asked this year.

He has run workshops for Middle School students, assisted with Junior School Arts Week, photographed a myriad of school events, fixed cameras for many students, assisted with PhotoShop problems and also kept on top of his schoolwork. He has also regularly contributed to the EdIT section of the Gold Coast Bulletin and was asked to give his top ten reasons for becoming a student photographer, such is his level of expertise. He is slowly taking over a wall in the Art Room computer lab, so come along and check out the amazing work of this student… Look out Sean Scott, Oliver Waddingham is snapping at your heels… literally!

Ngaire Harman Visual Art Coordinator

In particular, they said that the course was enjoyable, effective at increasing confidence in the target language, and a great opportunity to make friends of like mind.

As part of The University of Queensland Summer Semester, the courses provide the opportunity for language maintenance and are taught in a relaxed and informal environment to encourage student interaction.

Students will receive a Statement of Course Completion and there will be no formal assessment. Based on the popularity of these courses it is recommended that students enrol early.

Please contact IML on (07) 3346 8200 if you have any queries or email Mrs Hill for further information rebekahh@salc.qld.edu.au Rebekah Hill Head of Languages

PINK & YELLOW MUFTI DAY Tuesday 10 November

Students to wear Yellow or Pink and bring in a gold coin donation.

This term, our focus is on Cancer Awareness and all funds raised will go towards supporting College families who are experiencing the impacts of serious illness in their homes.

Baked goods will also be on sale on the day and the Click Photography Club will host a photo booth to raise additional funds.

P&F News AGM (Annual General Meeting) This year’s AGM is on Wednesday 25 November 7.00pm in the CRC (Cecile Ryan Centre).

At the meeting all current office bearers will resign and a vote will be taken for the positions from the nominations received.

All nominations must be submitted 30 days before the AGM to the President. The nomination form is available on the College website under the P & F section.

The office bearer positions are as follows: President Currently Daniel Renneberg (daniel@austplan.com.au) Vice President Currently Julieanne Andrews (julieanne6@optusnet.com.au) Treasurer Currently Michelle Brown (michelle@brownslawyers.com.au) Secretary Currently Nicole Ainger (bidwill16@bigpond.com) Grants Officer Currently Kim Allan Fundraising Officer (Currently Vacant) Most of the current office bearers are unable to commit to a further year on the P & F due to full time employment and family commitments and are unable to re-nominate.

Please consider taking on a role on the P & F. It is a very rewarding position to hold, allowing you to be involved in a meaningful way in your child/ren’s school. If you would like further information on the duties of any position please feel free to contact us at pandf@salc.qld.edu.au P & F general meetings are held once a term and everyone is always welcome.

Uniform Shop News Uniforms for 2016 See flyer at end of this Bulletin for What You Need for 2016.

Buy or Layby your uniforms now and avoid the January rush and any price increases. You are guaranteed you will get the items you need and you can exchange sizes in January if needed (providing items are returned in a saleable condition). Email us your list by 8am the day prior so we can have it ready for you when you come in. Or order and pay online via www.flexischools.com.au

2nd Hand Clothing If you wish to sell 2nd hand uniform items and use the credit to purchase more uniforms in January, please submit your items before the end of term. All items must be clean & ironed (not damaged, stained, faded or showing excessive wear). Items may be submitted in January but, due to the back to school rush, any credit will not be available until mid February.

Selling Senior Blazers The Uniform Shop will sell your blazer for you on consignment basis, providing it is in good condition and unmarked.

Simply have your blazer dry cleaned as soon as you finish school and bring it to us with the receipt attached, preferably before the end of term. We will notify you as soon as it is sold. We already have a list of parents looking for 2nd hand blazers for next year, so the sooner you bring it in, the better chance you have of selling it. Prices paid range from $70 - $100.

Jacqui Desfosses Uniform Shop Manager

Dates to Remember - November Sunday 1 Year 12 Graduating Art Exhibition 30 Oct - 15 Nov Tuesday 3 Years 8 & 9 Book Club Wednesday 4 Years 8-10 Netball Competition (selected students) Friday 6 Year 11 U16 Australasia Futsal Year 12 Exams 6-13 Nov Opening Night for Graduating Yr 12 Art Exhibition, 6:30pm Saturday 7 & Sunday 8 Year 11 U16 Australasia Futsal Monday 9 Year 9 Girls Service Learning 9-13 Nov Tuesday 10 Mufti Day – Cancer Awareness, wear pink and yellow Years 8 & 9 Book Club An Evening of Song, Ruth Butler Theatre, 4.00pm Wednesday 11 Remembrance Day Year 11 BM Excursion Year 11 and 12 Music Excursion Years 8-10 Netball Competition (selected students) Friday 13 Men’s and Women’s Assembly

Uniforms for 2016 What you need if your child is moving up to the next year level.

JUNIOR SCHOOL

MIDDLE SCHOOL

Year 1 The Formal Uniform is worn 3 days a week.

The Sports Uniform (same as Prep Uniform) is worn 2 days a week.

Year 7 The Formal Uniform is worn 4 days.

The Sports Uniform is to be brought to school and changed into for PE. The Navy Sports Uniform is worn to/from school on Thursdays only.

BOYS Formal Hat - $45 White Short Sleeve Shirt - $31 Navy Elastic Backed Shorts - $28 Navy Knee High Formal Socks - $8 Formal Jumper (to be worn with Formal uniform) Wool $80-85 Poly Cotton $70 Black Leather Lace-up Shoes (not available from Uniform Shop) GIRLS Formal Hat - $45 Formal Dress - $70 White ankle socks with navy stripes - $8 Formal Jumper (to be worn with Formal Uniform) Wool $80-85 Poly Cotton - $70 Black Leather Lace-up Shoes (not available from Uniform Shop) Navy Tights (optional for winter with Formal Uniform) Years 2 & 3 - No Changes Year 4 ALL Navy Sports Shirt - $35 (house shirt now worn one day/week) BOYS College Shorts with belt loops - $30-$34 Belt - $20 Years 5 & 6 - No Changes

Questions?

Please contact the Uniform Shop on 5568 5933 or email uniformshop@salc.qld.edu.au Prices current until December 2015.

2nd Hand Uniforms may also be available.

ALL Baseball Cap or Wide Brimmed Sports Hat - $15 Sport Sockettes - $8 GIRLS Formal Blouse - $42 Formal Skirt - $55 Formal and sports sockettes - $8 each BOYS Grey Trousers are optional in Terms 2 & 3 Years 8 & 9 - No Changes

SENIOR SCHOOL IMPORTANT - SCHOOL PHOTOS (WEEK 2) ALL STUDENTS MUST HAVE THEIR BLAZER FOR PHOTOS. BOYS MUST ALSO BRING THEIR TIE AND TROUSERS. Year 10 GIRLS Senior Girls Tie - $20 Blazer - $190-$195 BOYS Senior White Short or Long Sleeve Shirt (no tartan trim on pocket) - $31 The following items are required for photos but are only worn in Terms 2 & 3 Senior Boys Tie - $20 Grey Trousers - $35 Blazer - $195-$200 Years 11 & 12 - No Changes

INSIGHTS Building parent-school partnerships WORDS Michael Grose

Manage like a cat, nurture like a dog

Here’s how to get the mix of firmness and nurturing right when communicating with young people.

When speaking about raising teenagers I make the planned observation that parents should ‘manage like a cat and nurture like a dog’. So what does this mean?

Teenagers need a mix of firmness and nurturance from their parents.

Like toddlers many teenagers wear L-plates when it comes to navigating their expanding world. Of course, the world a teenager inhabits is far broader than that of a toddler so the risks are multiplied hundredfold. They still need to be managed, but not necessarily in controlling or confrontational ways.

Due to physiological changes most teens will revert straight to their reptilian brains when they feel threatened or experience angry, aggressive discipline.

They will fight you all the way, or escape conflict by going to their rooms or withdrawing into themselves. Better to manage like a cat so they hear your message rather than pick up your vehemence.

Finding your inner cat We all have some cat and dog in us. It’s just a matter of accessing those parts and bringing them out when we need them.

The cat is the credible side we all have, but find difficulty accessing. It is always expressed through your non-verbals – that is, your tone of voice, your posture and your head.

A cat speaks with a flat, clipped voice.

His or her head is very still and body upright and confident. The quickest way to access your inner cat is to speak with you palms facing the ground. You can try this now. Stand up with both hands in front of you with your palms facing the ground. Now start speaking. You’ll find you’ll naturally speak like a cat – clipped voice, still head and body and more serious expression. This is your credible (and calm) side.

Like her or loathe her you can’t deny she has authority. That’s because she accesses the cat side of her nature in public.

You manage a teen like a cat by speaking calmly, quietly and staying still when you speak. Cats will also withdraw eye contact rather than stand and argue so look away or respectfully walk away rather than become involved in argument.

Cats also look for ways to manage visually (look away to indicate not arguing) or kinaesthetically (a touch on the shoulder, move close and whisper) rather then repeating themselves. If they do repeat themselves they are more likely to lower their voice than raise it to get attention. These cat behaviours work well when managing teens.

Using your inner dog We also have a dog side to our nature.

When you speak from your cat side people will usually believe what you have to say. It gives you authority.

This is the approachable, conversational,

Australia’s foreign minister Julie Bishop is a good example of using cat behaviour.

inflection in your voice.

relationship-building side. When you access this side you’ll speak with lots of

more on page 2

nt young people? Subscribe to Happy Kids Want more ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilie tingideas.com.au. You’ll be so glad you did. newsletter, my FREE weekly email parenting guide at paren

parentingideas.com.au

© 2015 Michael Grose

INSIGHTS

2

Building parent-school partnerships

... Manage like a cat, nurture like a dog ...

Your head will bob up and down. You’ll probably lean forward as you speak and you’ll smile a lot. The quickest way to access your dog nature is to speak with your palms up. You can try it now. Stand up; put your hands out with your palms up and start speaking. You should notice a big difference in how you deliver your message from when you spoke with palms facing down. If not, alternate speaking with palms up and down until you see a difference.

The dog side of our natures is what many of us feel more comfortable with.

If you are in a management position there is a fair chance that you spend more time accessing your cat then your dog. Although effective managers will move seamlessly between the two accessing their dog when networking and relationship-building then finding their cat for negotiations or when making decisions.

Actor Hugh Jackman is an example of a public figure who is dog-like as he usually speaks with lots of cadence in his voice, a big smile and open body language.

However, I’ve seen him switch to cat mode in interviews when he talks about something serious. He will invariably speak quietly, calmly and his head will

stay very still. We believe him when he speaks. He’s no lightweight. It’s his ability to switch from cat to dog and back again that makes him so charismatic.

Bringing cat and dog to your parenting From experience I’ve found that effective parents nuance their communication.

That is, they alter their style to suit the situation rather than let their moods dictate their communication styles. This is not necessarily conscious. However do it often enough and switching from cat to dog and back again becomes a habit.

My challenge for you is to bring your cat to the table when you want to manage teenagers and access your dog side when you encourage them, build relationships and listen to them.

Get your cat and dog wrong and you’ll be ineffective. Manage like a dog and you’ll do one of three things:

your young person exactly what they need. That is, the leadership and safety that cats provide and the nurturance and encouragement that comes naturally to dogs.

So does the cat side or the dog side come more naturally to you? Think about it. When you discover what you default to then you need to be aware of two things. First, you will need to work a little harder to access the other side.

Second, make sure you don’t rely on one side of your nature to do the work in your communications with your young people. If you do then you will more than likely either manage or nurture well but rarely do both well. However get the mix right and your parenting (or leading of any group of people) and you’ll have discovered the key to charismatic parenting and leadership.

‘Manage like a cat, nurture like a dog.’

Who would have thought it’s that simple!

1 Whine at your kids 2 Use an angry voice 3 Do nothing because you don’t want to offend them.

Build relationships like a cat and you’ll be distant, stiff and unapproachable. Get the mix right and you’ll be able to give

Michael Grose

nt young people? Subscribe to Happy Kids Want more ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilie tingideas.com.au. You’ll be so glad you did. newsletter, my FREE weekly email parenting guide at paren

parentingideas.com.au