Church of Saint Mary Parish Bulletin: October 22, 2023

CHURCH of SAINT MARY

The Twenty-Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time World Mission Sunday October 22, 2023 Reverend Father Robert A. Romeo | Pastor Reverend Father Dominik Wegiel | Parochial Vicar Reverend Father Rafal Borowiejski | Parochial Vicar Reverend Father Edward Obi, MSP | Parochial Vicar

1300 Northern Boulevard | Manhasset, New York 11030 516 627 0385 | Fax 516 627 6070 www.saintmarysmanhasset.org

Parish Mission Statement We, the community of Saint Mary’s, Manhasset, building on our rich heritage of Catholic faith and tradition, center ourselves in the Eucharist and honor God in proclaiming the Good News of Jesus Christ.

Guided by the Holy Spirit, we seek to be the presence of Christ through our liturgical, educational and social ministries.

We dedicate our time, talent and treasure to the service of all as we build the kingdom of God in our world. We commit to this mission in the name of Jesus Christ.

Church of Saint Mary 1300 Northern Boulevard Manhasset, New York 11030 (516) 627-0385 Fax (516) 627-6070 www.saintmarysmanhasset.org

Schedule of Masses Thursday 7:00 AM (when school is in session) Monday–Friday 9:00 AM Saturday 9:00 AM, 5:00 PM Sunday 7:30 AM, 9:00 AM, 10:30 AM, 12:00 Noon

PARISH DIRECTORY Pastoral Staff Rev. Fr. Robert A. Romeo Pastor 627-0385 | ext. 1004 pastor@stmary.ws Rev. Fr. Dominik Wegiel Parochial Vicar 627-0385 | ext. 1006 frdominik@stmary.ws Rev. Fr. Rafal Borowiejski Parochial Vicar

Sacrament of Penance

Rev. Fr. Edward Obi, MSP Parochial Vicar

Saturdays from 4:00-4:45 PM and by appointment. Please call 627-0385.

Parish Staff

Anointing of the Sick The Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick is celebrated in the Chapel on the second Sunday of the month following the 10:30 AM Mass. If you are unable to come to Church, please call the Parish Office to make arrangements for Anointing or to receive the Eucharist.

Parish Office 627-0385 | Fax 627-6070 Monday 9:00 AM - 4:00 PM Tuesday - Friday 9:30 AM - 4:00 PM Saturday - (phone only) 10:00 AM–1:30 PM Sunday 9:30 AM - 2:00 PM E-mail: information@stmary.ws

Parish Social Ministry 365-2705 Monday-Wednesday-Thursday 11:00 AM-3:00 PM E-mail: socialmin@stmary.ws St. Vincent de Paul Society: svdp@stmary.ws

Religious Education 627-4028 Monday 12:00 Noon-8:00 PM Wednesday 9:00 AM–5:00 PM Tuesday and Thursday 9:00 AM–6:00 PM Closed on Friday

Jane Clifford Bulletin Editor bulletin@stmary.ws Marie T. Granieri Director of Religious Education 627-4028 | ext. 1127 releddirector@stmary.ws Vincent Hartley Facilities Manager 627-0385 | ext. 1002 Kathleen Kosciusko Director of Parish Social Ministry 627-0385 | ext. 1126 kkosciusko@stmary.ws Jennifer LaChance Office Manager 627-0385 information@stmary.ws Daniel Maimone Music Director 627-0385 | ext. 1021 dmaimone@saintmarysmanhasset.org Vanessa Quiros Parish Office 627-0385 vquiros@stmary.ws Sr. Teresa Raftery, IHM Adult Faith Formation 627-0385 | ext. 1010 traftery@stmary.ws

The Schools of Saint Mary Nursery through 12th Grade Very Rev. Dom Elias Carr, Can. Reg., Ph.D. President

627-2711 president@stmary.ws Norma Ragalli Stafford Director of Admissions 627-2711 | ext 1084 nstafford@stmary.ws Edward Short Vice President of Development 627-2711 | ext 1120 eshort@stmary.ws Eileen M. Symmons ’82, ’86 Director of Communications 627-2711 esymmons@stmary.ws Kiera Gmelich Walsh Director of Alumni and Parent Relations 627-2711 | ext. 1162 kwalsh@stmary.ws Sarah de Venoge Griffin ’02, ’06 Liaison for School Relations sgriffin@saintmarysmanhasset.org St. Mary’s Elementary School 627-0184 www.stmary11030.org Theresa A. Kemp Principal tkemp@stmary11030.org St. Mary’s High School 627-2711 www.saintmaryshs.org Gerard J. Buckley Principal gbuckley@saintmaryshs.org

From the Pastor’s Desk Dear Parishioners,

“I have called you by name.” (Isaiah 45:4) A great exercise to bring to our daily prayer life is to ponder these words from the prophet Isaiah.

I often encounter people who don’t believe God can love them or that they can be His instrument in doing the work of the Kingdom. We have a tendency to focus on our failings rather than on the gifts entrusted to us. This negative understanding of our own worth I am sure offends God. He created each of us in His image and likeness and knows our intrinsic worth.

What does it mean that God has “called us by name?” First, it is the realization that God has called us and claimed us as His own through the waters of Baptism. He has forgiven our sins and has shown us the path of His “plan” for us. Secondly, when God calls us by name, this means He wishes to continue communicating with us. He wants to help us navigate a path through this world that is, at times, messy and confusing. He wants to be our comfort in times of pain and celebrate in our joyful moments. Communicating also includes His Word to help us discern the choices of life.

If He wants to communicate, why does it seem that when we need God the most, He seems the most silent? The answer may lie with us. Sometimes, being enveloped in a difficult circumstance closes us. We may no longer be able to listen. The invitation still remains, though. It may be in those times that we need to be reminded to listen and to spend time in silent prayer as we wait on the Lord. Jesus, in God, is always speaking in the background of our lives. Can we be too busy to stop and listen? When we allow the voice of Jesus to be heard in the midst of the noise, then that desired communication can be a reality in our lives. In hearing the voice of Jesus, we can find meaning and purpose in how we live. When we understand that we are loved, how much more can we then realize the gifts entrusted to us have value to others and need to be shared. We then can truly feel why we are called by name...we are loved.

When we hear God’s voice and understand our own gifts and talents are gifts from Him to be used within our own sphere of influence, we find ourselves delighted in what we are doing.

Yes, at times, we may become frustrated and wonder if we are even coming close to making a difference, but if we are listening - if we take time to look at those affected by what we do as we use what God has given us - we will indeed come to a deep satisfaction within our lives knowing we are serving God and serving others. And we sense that satisfaction all because God has called us by name. St. Teresa of Avila says, “The smallest act when done for the love of God is priceless.”

That certainly gives us hope!

I encourage you to continue to pray the Rosary in this month of October dedicated to the Rosary. This is a wonderful way to bring your family together to find hope and solace in these troubling times. It can also help to build strong memories for your family of a beautiful time together and to strengthen the bonds of our faith. Give it a try if you have never done so. The fruits of it can be more than you could have anticipated.

In Jesus and Mary, Queen of the Most Holy Rosary, Fr. Bob

As Catholics, we condemn violence of any kind. In light of recent world events, let us unite in prayer for a peaceful and diplomatic solution to the conflict in the Holy Land: O God, merciful and strong, who crush wars and cast down the proud, be pleased to banish violence swiftly from our midst and to wipe away all tears, so that we may all truly deserve to be called your children.

Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever. Amen.

- Roman Missal, Collect Prayer for In Time of War or Civil Disturbance

The Twenty-Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time | October 22, 2023

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Stewards of God’s Gifts As we hear in today’s First Reading, there is only one God, our God. Living Stewardship ~ Pillar of Formation: As Catholics, we should always strive to deepen our faith.

The collection for Sunday, October 15, 2023 amounted to $22,413.00.

The collection for Sunday, October 16, 2022 amounted to $20,666.00.

Have you enrolled yet? Visit www.faithdirect.net. Our parish code is NY281.

We Care for Our Parish Community Baptism We celebrate Baptism at 1:30 PM on the second Sunday of the month and at 12:30 PM on the fourth Saturday of the month as scheduled. Please call the Parish Office at least one month in advance to see if a date is available and to arrange to fill out pre-baptismal paperwork. New parents are required to attend a Baptism preparation session held once every month. Those chosen as sponsors for Baptism should lead lives in harmony with the Catholic faith and the role of Godparent.”

4:30-5:30 PM. Classes also meet on Sundays from 9:3010:20 AM for Grades 1 through 8 and on Mondays from 7:00-8:00 PM for Grades 6, 7 and 8. We also offer the option of an online home program for Grades 1 through 7. For information about Grades 1-8 call 627-4028 or email Mrs. Marie Granieri at releddirector@stmary.ws.

Parish Social Ministry We care for our sisters and brothers through our Parish Social Ministry and Food Pantry. For information call 365-2705.

Marriage At least six months before you plan to be married and before you make arrangements for the reception, please make an appointment with one of the priests to begin the necessary preparations.

Youth Ministry

Children’s Education

New Parishioners

Saint Mary’s Elementary School offers excellent education in the spirit of the Gospel from grades N, Pre-K to Eighth grade. For information call 627-0184.

We welcome new members to the Catholic Church and to Saint Mary’s Parish. If you are new in the area or interested in learning more about the Catholic faith, please call the Parish Office.

Empowering Character, Innovation and Leadership in our students, Saint Mary’s High School is a dynamic, contemporary, Catholic value-centered school, combining a commitment to academic excellence and educational innovation, with a passion for learning, and an emphasis on moral character development through the pursuit of truth and discovered in faith and reason. For information call 627-2711.

The Religious Education Program provides excellent formation in the Catholic Faith for children in public or private schools. Preparation for First Holy Communion and Confirmation requires two years. Classes are held at St. Mary’s for Grades 1 through 5 on Tuesdays and Thursdays

We reach out to our teens though our Youth Ministry Program. For information email youth@stmary.ws or visit stmarysyouth.weebly.com.

Opportunities For Prayer The Church is open Monday to Friday until 8:45 PM, on Saturday until the end of the 5:00 PM Mass, and on Sunday until 6:00 PM so that we may have the opportunity for quiet prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. The Miraculous Medal Novena is said each Monday following the 9:00 AM Mass. Monday to Saturday the Rosary is said following the 9:00 AM Mass. Eucharistic Adoration is held every Monday from 3:00 to 5:00 PM in the Chapel. On First Saturdays, the Scriptural Rosary is recited following the 9:00 AM Mass.

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Masses and Special Intentions Donna Chesney Mason Erica Klock Tom Francess Jacob Rivera Gabriel Romeo Jaxson Rivera Helen Kennedy Theresa Fallon Ronald Grubert Ann Shields Christine Marchese Anna Forte Jane Hone Maria DeAngelis Dr. Michael O’Grady Mickey Kennedy Marguerite Barone Gladys Jean Sarah Horsham Vincent Nicky Douglas Martocci, Sr. Nina Principe O’Donnell Katharine Whelan Laarni Melliza Carol Furciato Names will remain on the list for three months. Please email bulletin@stmary.ws if you would like to continue with the listing.

Thomas Francis McCarney ’78 Ingeborg Urban

Horner, Brian G., 1stLt, USMC Howard, Edward, PV2, USA Hussey, James M., GySgt, USMC Jones, Scott B., LT, USN Jones, Katherine L., LTJG, USN Kennedy, Michael, Col, USAF LaManna, Vincent S., Jr., PVT, USA Landolphi, Michael, ENS, USN Lanza, Anthony E., LtCol, USMC Madden, Michael E., Major, USAF Major, A. Edward, III, MAJ, USA Marine Medium Tilt Rotor Squadron 161 Marine Transport Squadron 352 McGorry, Patrick F., HM2, USN McKievear, Gary, LT, USA Millau, Jeffrey, PFC, USMC Morris, Jr., Brian J., MAC, USN O’Leary, Jason, SSgt, USAF Petracca, Evan L., LTJG, USN Quinn, Anthony, Jr., SGT, USA Richardson, Timothy, PV2, USA Radman, Paul Cpl, USMC Rodi, Caroline G., CAPT, USN Saville, John A., ENS, USN Sharkey, John J., LtCol, USMC Spivak III, Edmund, Capt, USAF Sweeney, Timothy, CPT, USA Swersky, Roberto, Capt, USMC Tafone, Samantha, SGT, USA Ullrich, Kenneth C., HN, USN Unger, Matthew J., SPC, USA Vachris, Madison, LTJG, USN Wood, Kelly, BMSR, USN

125th Brigade Support Battalion 23rd Marine Regiment 25th Marine Regiment 2-4 GSAB Task Force Mustang 2-211th GSAB Task Force War Horse 51st Security Force Squadron 75th Ranger Regiment 82nd Expeditionary Rescue Squadron Alacqua, Alexander, 1LT, USA Amerson, Jason, CPT, USA Anderson, Michael, 1LT, USA Arnold, James, LCpl, USMC Arnoux, Seraph, PFC, USA Avasthi, David, Capt, USAF Baber, Joseph, Maj, USAF Broderick, Evan, SGT, USA Broderick, Steven, SN, USN Brodie, Virgina H., 2ndLt, USMC Brown, Jason, SGT, USA Collins, Matthew, LT, USN Fontanetta, Joseph, Maj, USMC Hannan, Jack, ENS, USN Hayes, Andrew, Capt, USMC Hernandez, Steven, SSgt, USAF Higgins, James, GySgt, USMC Hilton, Justin, SGT, USA Hilton, Nathaniel, SGT, USA If you have a service member that you would like to add to this list please e-mail bulletin@stmary.ws. Please include name, rank and branch of service.

Masses for the Week Monday, October 23rd St. John of Capistrano, Priest Rom 4:20-25, Lk 12:13-21 9:00 AM | Elena Calamonici Tuesday, October 24th St. Anthony Mary Claret, Bishop Rom 5:12, 15b, 17-19, 20b-21, Lk 12:35-38 9:00 AM | Nancy Jean Weigele ’65 Wednesday, October 25th Rom 6:12-18, Lk 12:39-48 9:00 AM | Ellen Coughlin Thursday, October 26th Rom 6:19-23, Lk 12:49-53 7:00 AM | Eileen Roche 9:00 AM | Rudy & Erminia Endrizzi Friday, October 27th Rom 7:18-25a, Lk 12:54-59 9:00 AM | Barbara Monty Saturday, October 28th Ss. Simon & Jude, Apostles Eph 2:19-22, Lk 6:12-16 9:00 AM | Douglas Sullivan 5:00 PM | Ellen Coughlin Lucille Lukin Salvatore Asaro Thomas J. Flynn, Sr. Jeanette Albanese David Kucharczyk Dennis Joseph McSweeney Sunday, October 29th The Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time Ex 22:20-26, 1 Thes 1:5c-10, Mt 22:34-40 7:30 AM | Delfina Domingos 9:00 AM | People of the Parish 10:30 AM | Ellen Coughlin 12:00 Noon | Pierina De Marinis Dorothy Brincat Pietro Corso Angelo Corso Giuseppine Corso Michele Corso Ernesto Tiseo

Cover: The Tribute Money.

Artist: Titian (1490-1576).

Business Owners: Please consider advertising in our bulletin.

It’s a great way to support our parish.

Call our printer, LPi at 1-800-477-4574 or visit their website www.4lpi.com for more information.

We are in region 03.

Please Patronize Our Advertisers

The Twenty-Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time | October 22, 2023

Mass Intentions Book for April 1, 2024 - June 30, 2024 opened on Tuesday, October 17th.

Mass Intentions for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, 2023 will be open on Tuesday, October 24th Please note our policy whereby you will be able to reserve only two Masses during the first two weeks of the opening of the Mass Intentions Book for the second quarter of 2024.

After that time, you may reserve any additional Masses for the period. Mass intentions may be requested in person at the Parish Office, Monday through Friday, 9:30 AM to 4:00 PM, Sunday 9:30 AM to 2:00 PM or call (516-6270385) or email (information@stmary.ws) for other options.

First Time Kevin Grimm and Rachel Daley St. Mary, Manchester-by-the-Sea, Manhasset, NY MA Second Time Andrew Dion and Katherine McCarthy St. Mary, St. Mary, Manhasset, NY Manhasset, NY Donald Denihan and Tiffany Trilli St. Mary, Homestead, FL Manhasset, NY Third Time Joseph Marin and Anne Wilder St. Ignatius, St. Ignatius, Newton, MA Newton, MA

Readings and Questions for Faith Sharing on the Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time Reading I: Exodus 22:20-26 “If he cries out to me, I will hear him; for I am compassionate.”

Reading II: 1 Thessalonians 1:5c-10 You know what sort of people we were among you.

Gospel: Matthew 22:34-40 “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?”

Question for Adults: What are the priorities in my life?

Do I always put love of God and neighbor first?

Question for Children: How can I show that I love God and my neighbor?

Church of Saint Mary | 6

Parish Social Ministry DRIVE-THROUGH HOLIDAY FOOD DROP MONDAY, NOVEMBER 6TH 4:00 - 8:00 PM IN THE PARKING LOT BEHIND THE CHURCH God’s people of all ages are suffering in poverty right here in our neighborhood.

They need food assistance all through the year but especially during the holiday season. Good Samaritan House is hosting a “drive-through holiday food drop” with the goal of collecting the freshest possible food items to allow our neighbors suffering in poverty to enjoy a true feast with their families on Thanksgiving. We will be hosting this drive-through collection on Monday, November 6th from 4:00 PM - 800 PM. This drive through collection will take place in the parking lot behind the church. (You may also drop the items by our office on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 11:00 AM – 3:00 PM the weeks of November 6th and 13th.)

The items we are collecting for this drive are:

Frozen Oven Stuffer Chickens* Frozen Turkeys (10-15 lbs. max) 3-8 Pound Bags of Potatoes Crescent Rolls or Biscuit Tubes Frozen Pies, Cakes, Cookies Cake, Muffin, or Brownie Mix Fresh Apples

Fresh Oranges Frozen Pounds of Butter Cans of Corn Cans of Carrots Cans of Beans Cans of Mixed Vegetables Quarts of Milk (no gallons)

*Stuffer chickens are preferred by some clients due to their size. No stuffing, gravy, canned yams, or cranberry sauce, please!

Unfortunately, for these families this holiday meal is only that - a one day meal. While we hope it will be very enjoyable for them, they still need food assistance throughout the rest of the month and into next year. The St. Mary’s community does a wonderful job of supporting these families, but we are asking for a little extra at this difficult time.

If you are able to provide grocery store gift cards to the parish social ministry office, they would be put to good use providing much needed food to these families during the holidays and into next year. In addition to grocery store gift cards, we provide non-perishable food items to all our families throughout the year. Please consider donating any non-perishable food you can. We are always in need and nothing goes to waste. Thank you in advance for your continued generosity and may God bless you and your family over this holiday season and in 2024.

Standard Pantry Non-Perishables: Cereal, Oatmeal, Soup, Tuna Fish, Beans, Baked Beans, Chef Boyardee, Pancake Mix, Syrup, Chili/Stew, Peanut Better, Jelly, Pasta, Jarred Pasta Sauce, Mac and Cheese, Instant Potatoes, Small Bags of Rice, Cake Mix, Jell-O, Crackers, Snacks, Canned Fruit, Juice, Instant Coffee, Tea. This week’s specific needs include:

Coffee, Jelly, Cookies, Snacks, Jell-O, Juice, White Rice, Pasta, Oatmeal, Mayonnaise

The Twenty-Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time | October 22, 2023

Exposition and Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament Litany of the Holy Eucharist Lord, have mercy Lord, have mercy Christ, have mercy Christ, have mercy Lord, have mercy Lord, have mercy Response: have mercy on us

Jesus, Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world: Jesus, Bearer of our sins, you take away the sins of the world: Jesus, Redeemer of the world, you take away the sins of the world:

Jesus, the Most High: Christ, hear us: Christ, hear us Jesus, the holy One: Christ, graciously hear us: Christ, graciously hear us Jesus, Word of God: Lord Jesus, hear our prayer: Lord Jesus, hear our prayer Jesus, only Son of the Father: AMEN. Jesus, Son of Mary: Jesus, crucified for us: Prayer before the Blessed Sacrament Jesus, reigning in glory: - St. Pope John XXIII (1881-1963) Jesus, coming in glory: O Jesus, present in the Sacrament of the Altar, Jesus, our Lord: teach all nations to serve you with a willing heart, Jesus, our hope: knowing that to serve God is to reign.

Jesus, our peace: May your sacrament, O Jesus, Jesus, our savior: be light to the mind, Jesus, our salvation: strength to the will, Jesus, our resurrection: joy to the heart.

Jesus, Lord of the Church: May it be the support for the weak, Jesus, Lord of creation: the comfort for the suffering, Jesus, Lover of all: the wayfaring bread of salvation for the dying, Jesus, life of the world: and, for all, the pledge of future glory. AMEN Jesus, freedom for the imprisoned: Jesus, joy of the sorrowing: Jesus, giver of the Spirit: Jesus, giver of good gifts: Jesus, source of new life: Exposition Jesus, Lord of life: and Adoration Jesus, eternal high priest: of the Blessed Sacrament Jesus, priest and victim: with Closing Benediction Jesus, true Shepherd: Mondays 3:00 - 5:00 PM Jesus, true Light: in the Church Jesus, bread of heaven: Jesus, bread of life: Let the little children come to me... (Matt 19:14) Jesus, bread of thanksgiving: Jesus, life-giving bread: Children’s Liturgy of the Word Jesus, holy manna: Every Sunday at the 9:00 AM Mass Jesus, new covenant: Jesus, food for everlasting life: Jesus, food for our journey: On behalf of all my BROTHER KNIGHTS from the Father Jesus, holy banquet: William A. Daly Council #2122, I would like to thank Fr. Bob for Jesus, true sacrifice: allowing us to sell our chancebooks after each Mass last weekend.

Jesus, perfect sacrifice: I would also like to say THANK YOU to our parishioners, and Jesus, eternal sacrifice: visitors, that were kind enough to donate to our cause. Your Jesus, divine Victim: generosity is GREATLY APPRECIATED! Jesus, Mediator of the new covenant: Tony Racioppo, DGK Jesus, mystery of the altar: C&B Chairman Jesus, medicine of immortality: Jesus, pledge of eternal glory: Church of Saint Mary | 8

Rosary Society Our Mission Statement: The Rosary Society fosters devotion to Mary through prayer and good works for causes that would be dear to her heart Invest 20 minutes of your day to pray the Rosary, and see the difference it will make in your life.

If you would like the Rosarians to pray for a special intention, please e-mail us at rosarysociety@stmary.ws.

Sunday, October 29th - All parishioners are invited to join us for a Musical Rosary in the Church after the 12:00 Noon Mass.

IMPORTANT MEETING INFORMATION Next Rosary Society Meeting will be held on Wednesday, November 8th, at 6:00 PM. In an effort to include Rosarians who are unable to attend morning meetings due to work schedules or other commitments, we will host an evening meeting. The hope is to allow more people to attend our monthly meetings and connect more closely with fellow Rosarians. Movie night will immediately follow.

Movie Night is scheduled for Wednesday, November 8th, at 7:15 PM. Come join your fellow Rosarians as we view the movie PRAY: The story of Patrick Peyton. Meet the man who encouraged praying the Rosary and coined the phrase, “The family that prayers together stays together.”

Christmas Dinner Raffles will be sold after all Masses the weekend of November 18th and 19th. Volunteers are still needed. If you are able to assist, please email Marijo Lantier, our Christmas Dinner Chair, at malantier510@gmail.com.

Raffle Gift Baskets will be wrapped on Sunday, November 19th. Please contact Marijo if you are able to assist.

Raffle Gift Basket Donations Needed We are in need of donations for our raffle baskets. A list of suggested items will be emailed to all Rosarians as well as the donation solicitation letter to be used at local businesses. Donations are greatly appreciated. It is through these donations that we are able to raise money for the Rosary Society to carry out our mission. Please reach out to Marijo for best drop-off times. If you are unable to do drop-off, please email Prinzipia at pgd53@mac.com before October 31st to coordinate a pickup. Thank you in advance for your generosity.

The annual Rosary Society Christmas Dinner will be held on Wednesday, December 6th. Invitations will be coming to your mailbox before the end of the month.

Society of St. Vincent de Paul In the Gospel today Jesus says: “Repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.” When God is the center of our lives there is no problem with giving others their due.

Through your gift to the Society of St. Vincent de Paul you are helping your neighbor who is hungry, hopeless and frightened to know that they belong to God. Our St. Vincent de Paul Conference is able to help our neighbors in need through the generosity of our St. Mary’s parishioners. Each time you donate, either through the collection slots at the doors of the church, or in an envelope marked for St. Vincent de Paul, you are helping our neighbors within St. Mary’s Parish. If you or someone you know is in need of assistance, contact the St. Vincent de Paul Society at 516627-0385, ext. 1125, or email SVDP@stmary.ws. To donate furniture, clothing or household items, please call the store in Garden City Park at 516-746-8250. Thank you for your continued support.

The Twenty-Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time | October 22, 2023

ST. MARY’S STUDENTS LEARN ABOUT FIRE PREVENTION October is Fire Prevention Month, and what better way to learn about fire safety than visiting the local firehouse? Kindergarten students from St. Mary’s Elementary School recently visited Company No. 1 of the Manhasset-Lakeville Fire Department to learn firsthand from the cheerful firefighters who welcomed Mrs. Deriu’s class and parents to the Bayview Avenue house. The group learned how to prevent fires and what to do in case of a fire. They watched a volunteer dress in his protective gear, which keeps them safe during a fire emergency, and even got to hold some of the equipment passed around the group. Some students were brave enough to sit in the firetruck for a view from behind the wheel! Thank you to the Bayview Bulls for inviting St. Mary’s to the firehouse and for your brave, unwavering volunteer service to our community!

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Saint Mary’s High School and Middle School participated in a Liturgy on Friday, October 6, 2023, during which members of the Class of 2024 were commissioned as Senior Shepherds, the spiritual leaders of the High School community. Most Reverend Andrzej Zglejszewski, auxiliary bishop for the Diocese of Rockville Centre, presided during the Mass, marking Feast Day for Our Lady of the Pillar. Eighteen students were called to the sanctuary to receive their pins, which Bishop Andrzej blessed.

The pins symbolize their service to their fellow students and remind them of their Catholic faith leadership and examples set as role models among their peers.

Students wishing to be Senior Shepherds applied during their junior year, including submitting essays and teacher recommendations. Those selected have been training and preparing since January of their junior year. It was a beautiful celebration of the gifts of all present in the Church and how each student could use their talents to serve others.

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SAINT MARY’S HIGH SCHOOL presents

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0,$/10 " 1 Attention alumnae: Save the dates to witness the glorious return of this beloved tradition!

March 8 & 9, 2024 STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS!

SAVE THE DATE St. Mary’s High School and the Sports Night 2024 Committee cordially invite you to a

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 30 — SATURDAY, DECEMBER 2

72 %(1(),7 67 0$5<·6 526$5< 62&,(7< 7+( 6&+22/6 2) 67 0$5< HOLIDAY SHOPPING BENEFIT

November 30 7:00 PM in Marist Hall

Shop Americana Manhasset and select Wheatley Plaza stores and 25% of your full-price pre-tax purchases will be donated to our charity.

Join fellow alumnae to support the Return of Sports Night!

HOW IT WORKS

All paintings will contribute to the actual artwork for the Blue & White Teams.

THEMES TO BE ANNOUNCED. STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS AND REGISTRATION.

!

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You must give your Champion Number at the time of each purchase!

PLEASE SHOP TO RAISE FUNDS TO SUPPORT OUR MINISTRIES!

In Session with Dr. Patricia Pitta It’s Not My Fault: Grace and Understanding Fosters Positive Change “The Lord your God is gracious and merciful and will not turn His face from you if you return to Him.” (2 Chronicles 30:9) Being a human being and navigating life is a forever challenge. Do you notice that the same patterns and issues arise in your life? Do you look at behaviors of family members and friends and say to yourself, “Here they go again, doing the same thing and expecting different results?” A common statement today is that this quote is the definition of insanity. So why do we all fall subject to many behaviors and patterns that we know are not good for us and just fall prey to these repetitions?

Psychologists note that many marriage problems do not get resolved. People make adaptions around them rather than tease them apart to understand the origins of the issues and how to take responsibility for the behaviors and attitudes, so resolutions can be reached. Parenting issues also fall into this repetition pattern where parents repeat their own childhood adaptions rather than exploring what they can do differently to change the interactions with their children and within themselves and their child.

Addictions of all kinds embondage the person to repeating behaviors they say they want to stop, but just can’t seem to conquer. Those around the addicted person continue patterns to help, but they do not help, but ensure repetition.

So, what is really going on? We all are affected by our patterns in childhood and beyond. We repeat patterns we

learn from our family of origin and then go on to make our own thinking and behavior adaptions as we become teenagers and adults. Many of the adaptions that we learned in our childhood, or created by our own adjustments, are not healthy. They are based on responding to fear, loneliness, feelings of inadequacy, and other emotions that do not enable us to grow emotionally. We just stay stuck in our behaviors.

So, for example, you grow up in a family where your parents were alcoholics. Their adjustment is one of having a relationship with the substance they imbibed rather than focusing on the childrearing or other matters that affected them and the children in the family. As a result of that lack of parenting, or, at times, too rigid parenting, you are left without having the skills to partake in relationships in a “healthier manner.” Do you realize I said healthier manner? We are all doing the best we can do and perfection or the “exact way” doesn’t exist. Many psychologists believe you need to be a “Good Enough Parent” to have healthier children.

So here you are as a teen or adult in relationship and problems just keep repeating themselves. You can blame the other person, but that gets you nowhere. You can blame yourself and that just makes you stuck and you can’t find a way out. Your self-esteem plummets and you feel lost. You can become a bully or practice selfrighteous indignation to cope. Neither stance works to bring healthier functioning.

Blame and regret get you nowhere if that becomes your adaption in how you see others and yourself. The world from this vantage point becomes a perilous place where you become isolated and lost in your dysfunctional thinking and behaviors. The bottom

line is to look at yourself with a position of Grace. Yes, Grace from God that He offers to all of us.

So, what might you do? Start with prayer and capture the Grace of God to give you the strength to start looking at yourself in another way. Don’t look to blame others or yourself. Look to take responsibility for your thinking and behaviors.

Explore the families you were brought up in and look at the messages you received about how to manage relationships. Possibly you cannot do that alone. Talk to family members.

If they are not open and many will not be, speak to a psychologist who can help you realize that whatever you are doing that is problematic possibly came from messages you were taught by exposure. An additional route can be to attend group therapy that addresses these issues. If alcohol is an issue: attend AA meetings. There are many roads to Rome and to change.

The important take away is to do something to gain perspective.

If you can start looking at your own behaviors, you can start changing how you think and behave, step by step.

We cannot change another person.

With young children, we can change the environment that requires they conform, but in a short time they are interacting with the world with their own adaptions. For sure and if not before, by teenage years, they are being heavily influenced by their peer groups and social media.

So, while in relationship with another and experiencing issues, and before you blame the other or yourself, pray for the Grace of God to enable you to look at where your patterns of behavior began. Determine if your behavior adaptions need to be altered through changing your thoughts and behaviors towards yourself or others. (continued on page 16 -->)

Dr. Patricia Pitta (con’t.)

If you try this and feel you are not able to see clearly, seek help through talking to a psychologist who is trained to help you identify your thinking and acting patterns to make changes for yourself. As you change, others around you might fight your change, but if you keep your healthier new stance, they will adjust around you and your relationships will improve step by step. And others will follow.

ST. MARY’S GIFT SHOP IS O P E N

on SUNDAYS

after the 9:00 AM, 10:30 AM, & 12:00 Noon Masses.It is located in the Parish Ministry Center below the church.

516-627-0385 ext. 1033

Keeping God’s messages in your heart and as your strength in prayer, you will be able to reach healthier interactions and behaviors within you and with others.

I know you can make positive changes. Below is a prayer to help you take that first step to change. Keep the prayer in your wallet or a place you will remember and say it possibly daily or as much as you need it.

My dear God, grant me the grace to be patient with myself and others, so I do not rush to judgement that keeps me stuck in repeating thoughts and behaviors that keep me in dis-ease. Please help me look at my life in a constructive manner and make changes in myself so I can affect changes within and with others. Amen.

Dr. Pitta is a Clinical and Family Psychologist practicing in Manhasset and is the chair of the Mental Health Ministry of St. Mary’s. She is the former Director of the Integrative Couple and Family Therapy Post-Graduate Program of psychology at St. John’s University. Dr. Pitta is a graduate of the Pastoral Formation Institute of Rockville Centre. She is the author of Solving Modern Family Dilemmas: An Assimilative Therapy Model published by Routledge Publishers, and Integrative Couple and Family Therapy published by the American Psychological Association.

All Souls Day is Thursday, November 2nd Masses 9:00 AM 7:00 PM At the 7:00 PM Mass all those who died over the past year will be especially remembered. All parishioners are invited to attend, especially those whose relatives passed away since November 1, 2022 even if their Mass of Christian Burial or Memorial was not celebrated at St. Mary’s.

A Novena of Masses will be offered for All Souls Day. Those wishing to remember their beloved dead in our nine days of Masses should fill out the envelopes found in your packets and drop them off in the collection baskets or at the Parish Office.

Additional envelopes may be found at the doors of the church. Please submit the names of those you wish to be included in the All Souls Novena of Masses by Thursday, November 2nd.

Altar Server Training

Continues on Monday, October 23rd, at 5:15 PM in the church All children in the 4th Grade on up are welcome.

Any questions, please contact Fr. Dominik at frdominik@stmary.ws or call 516-627-0385, ext. 1006

Church of Saint Mary | 16

RCIA and Adult Faith Formation Do You Know Someone Who Would Like to Become Catholic?

Do You Need to Complete Your Sacraments of Initiation?

This Year’s Program Has Begun, but There Is Still Time to Join!

The RCIA program is underway and meets on Wednesday evenings at 7:30 PM for instruction and 9:00 AM on Sunday mornings to “Break open the Word” before attending the 10:30 Mass. We welcome people who need to complete their Sacraments of Initiation as well as those who wish to become Catholic and those who wish to learn more about our Catholic faith.

Sister Teresa can be contacted about our RCIA and other Adult Faith Formation programs at 516-627-0385, ext.

1010. Her office hours are Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday between 10:00 AM and 4:00 PM and other times by appointment.

Religious Education Dear St. Mary Religious Education Family, Autumnal blessings!

Although students are receiving catechism across eight different grades, everything learned folds into the “one” story God reveals to us. This past week, our younger students centered on the beauty of the world God created in infinite love. Students in upper grades also reflected on this reality through study of the Catholic profession of faith – the Nicene Creed. Here, too, students learned that creation is the beginning and foundation of all God’s works.

“The beauty of creation reflects the infinite beauty of the Creator and ought to inspire the respect and submission of humanity’s intellect and will.”

(CCC 341) May God’s blessings be with you and your loved ones, Mrs. Granieri

Respect Life Ministry St. Mary’s Respect Life Ministry will hold its monthly meeting this Wednesday, October 25th, at 7:00 PM, in the St. John Paul II Room of the Parish Center.

As we continue working on plans for the coming year, please consider joining us. Bring friends and family — very often a simple invitation is enough to encourage someone to participate. We will discuss ways we can follow and implement for St. Mary’s the three important steps outlined by Bishop Barres: (1) stay informed and educated, (2) get

involved, and (3) PRAY! St. Mary’s Respect Life Ministry encourages you to share in our pro-life efforts — your help is needed now more than ever!

For more information about St. Mary’s Respect Life Ministry, email RespectLife@StMary.ws The Twenty-Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time | October 22, 2023

Marriage Struggling?

Twenty-Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time “You are loved by God. God has chosen you.”

1 Thes 1:2-3 “We give thanks to God always for all of you, remembering you in our prayers, unceasingly calling to mind your work of faith and labor of love and endurance in hope of our Lord Jesus Christ.” God will bless your marriage and your life. Check out a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience. You can find one by looking up WWME.org. Upcoming dates are: November 10-12, 2023 in Huntington, NY (Immaculate Conception Seminary) February 9-11, 2024 in Huntington, NY Worldwide Marriage Encounter sponsors a variety of in-person and virtual marriage experiences, some on weekends and some on seven weekdays. Couples explore their relationship with each other, God, and the Church.

Registration is limited; there is a $100 application fee.

For more information or to apply, call Kevin & Regina Hickson at 631-486-8607 or https://wwmenyli.org/.

Do you feel alone?

Are you frustrated or angry with each other?

Do you argue or have you just stopped talking to each other?

Does talking about it only make it worse? x Are you separated or divorced, or thinking about separation or divorce? x x x x

Another marriage-saving weekend is coming to the Metro/New York Area: November 3-5, November, 4-62023 2022 The Retrouvaille Program helps couples through difficult times in their marriages. To be connected directly and confidentially to someone who can help, or to register, contact:

1-800-470-2230 or

www.helpourmarriage.org Long Island/Metro Retrouvaille is a 5013c non-profit, peer ministry. Couples of all faiths, or no faith, are encouraged to attend, and no one is ever turned away for lack of funds.

Retrouvaille (Retro vi – French for rediscover) Because No Marriage is Beyond Hope